100% Eat - Torchy's Texas Hottie

Episode Date: June 22, 2021

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Torchy's Texas Hottie so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about eating in person and the King of Bugs probably. Sponsored by Honey (http://joinhoney.com/facejam) and Upstart (http://upstart.com/facejam) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Need a great reason to get up in the morning? Well, what about two? Right now, get a small, organic Fairtrade coffee and a tasty bacon and egger breakfast sandwich for only $5 at A&W's in Ontario. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Now it sounds like shit. Is that good?

No, it's very bad. There we go. All right, it's happening. It's happening. Now we vibin'. Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do, thanks to Honey and Upstart for making this show possible. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you?

Not too shabby, Michael. Thank you for welcoming me to the podcast. Oh, welcome. Yes. We're just a couple of co-hosts, a couple of chums, just chumming it up. Just, you know, just mashed up and chum in a bucket, ready to be splayed out into the ocean. We definitely chummed it up. And wait, are we going to get eaten?

Are we the food now? Yeah, we're the food now. We're passing our nutrients on to the fish. The audience is the fish and our nutrients is the rating and the review of the food. If that metaphor was too difficult to follow.

We are the krill that the whales eat. Oh, no. Yeah. That the whales, the audience, they'll eat us. Yeah. Yeah. You got to stay by the fire. If we don't stay by the fire, the audience rips us to shreds.

Greg, help me push this car. Which way do you want to go, left or right? It does not matter. We go to the same place. Today, we're reviewing Torchy's Texas Hotty. Oh, baby. What a name for a food. Yeah, so this is the famous, the world-renowned torchy's tacos there's one

everywhere i mean everywhere you can't in austin i mean it's hard to miss that's true yeah yeah that's what i'm sorry if that wasn't clear if everyone was like i've never heard of this before it's because it's in austin i think it's in it's in like 10 states or something uh which is more than you think it would be in but it's uh it's nice a nice little regional chain good job torches also fun fact before we get to the actual fact eric thinks they have the best queso in texas oh yeah listen his absolute favorite he won't times this guy's crowed on about it Like a little grackle And the other thing he loves strangely

Is like Having people present Their idea of the best queso and where it's from And then debating them about it Well the thing is he thinks it's the best And he wants to be challenged Because he's like look If there is something better, I want to know.

But at the same time, he gets very defensive about it and he will, he says debate, I call it argue, until the better queso is found. So if you have queso that you think is better, you can go ahead and tweet at Eric Bedore, let him know what's better. He will drive to the location, try it, and let you know, not better. He will drive to the location, try it, and let you know

not rate it on its own, but where does it compare to Torchy's? It'll either be better or worse. And they're all gonna be worse, just so you know. But he's always asking to do something on the weekends. He doesn't have a lot of, you know, things to do. He's got a lot of free time on his hands.

And so, if you can at him, not your favorite, but just factually the best queso. Doesn't have to be in Austin. Again, he's got free time. He can take a road trip. Let him know, and then he'll get back to you. Is that right, Eric? He's just nodding his head.

Maybe the worst bit in Face Jam. Hell yeah. For some reason, Nick's got his windshield wipers going. Eric's smiling ear to ear and nodding his head. No, turn off your windshield wipers. Stop it. That's how you know it's real. God damn it.

Anyway, Torchy's, past experience with said restaurant? Uh-huh. I've been there a couple times. You guys are from here or whatever, right? So what do you think about Torchy's? From here. From here. Yeah.

From here? You've lived here long enough where you can just say you're from austin no you don't say that yeah no it's fine doesn't no one lived here before 1994 so it doesn't matter oh i know a couple people who did okay and they're very passionate about it if you have lived in austin before 1994. Whoever you are, tweet at Eric. He needs to know. I knew it was coming. I don't think anyone who lived in Austin before 1994 has Twitter. It's like maybe Todd Womack and that's it. They didn't before Face Jam.

Now all the- What are you talking about? The demo? Right. All we got to do is move our listeners from FaceJam to Twitter and the seniors are taking over. It's true. It's gonna be a hostile takeover. They're gonna go, you go to Facebook.

We're done with it. Twitter's ours now. Twitter's ours now, bitch. Wow. Yeah, so Torchy's, it's a local joint. They specialize in Tex-Mex style tacos. Yes, or what I affectionately call white people tacos.

Absolutely. It's a big fan. Not to say not white people don't like it, but white people think it's the greatest thing ever created and sometimes overhype it as a taco. Because it's things they know in a food. That's what it is. It's things they know.

Oh, they put this food I like in a taco. In a taco that's still like very, like an American taco. Like a store-bought flour tortilla with just a bunch of other stuff in it is definitely like that's the move. And it's good stuff. Yeah.

I don't think it's bad. It's good. What they do, they do a good job. They do. The way I look at Torchy's is like I anytime somebody asks, I recommend Torchy's or people go, oh, should I go there? And I go, absolutely. I just won't tell you this is the best taco you'll ever have or this is the best taco place. I say it's really good food.

They sell tacos you can yeah you can get them and they've got i'll say i honestly eat there more for breakfast because they have banging breakfast tacos yeah uh their eggs are good and their meat's good they have like good quality beef and so i just like getting eggs beef and cheese and mikey's happy yeah i usually tell people like if they're here for the first time, I say go to Torchy's and get the queso. And it's it. We know! We know! Yeah, you didn't need to tell us that.

Fuck. God. Uh-oh. Yeah, the bit. Yeah, the bit. Do you ever have people who come from out of town who have never been to Austin before and they don't think a breakfast taco is a real thing like it seems absurd because you know as you know we're from here so it's just like it's part of our daily lives so we don't we hear breakfast taco we don't

second guess it we don't give it a second thought so i remember the first time i heard about it was like breakfast taco yeah i don't get like uh people saying ah they don't scream wildly like an episode of face jam because you can't see us but um that it is like oh by the way we're right behind you in my in my brain um the equivalent on the east coast is bagels. Because you eat bagels for breakfast. Cream cheese bagels. That, to me, if I'm, like, grabbing food for breakfast, it's a bagel. Because you can just get a bagel with cream cheese.

Or you can do, like, an omelet bagel. You know, you can do, like, an egg on a bagel and shit. And so when I got here, I went, oh, they do tacos instead of bagels. Right. And so that's my rationalization. That's smarter of you to, like, put it into terms you could understand. Right. Otherwise, I'd be grunting like a chimp.

Exactly. You know, like, all confused like a caveman. Ha ha. There was... I remember when Formula One was here a couple years ago, um when formula one was uh here a couple years ago we got invited to like this like sponsored thing uh this party and one of the f1 drivers was there and um i think it was put on by mobile one or something but they had this uh q a or trivia question thing and i got up uh or like i don't know if i volunteered or how I got selected but I went up there

and did this. He volunteered. He kept saying pick me, pick me, pick me. I don't know how I got chosen. I was shoved up against my will. So I did this trivia thing with the F1 driver and the questions were so obvious and it was like mobile

one protects your engine. True or false? Shit like that. False. Until they're a sponsor of this show? False. One of them was about Austin. And it was like, breakfast tacos are like the official breakfast food of Austin. And the F1 driver, who's Dutch, was just like, what the fuck is that? Like, he couldn't believe it existed.

Yeah. So he wrote false. Jordan got up in front of an audience and just started dunking on a foreigner because he didn't know that breakfast tacos was a food. It was just like, damn, man, come on, dude. And then I think he said, sorry, we don't eat chocolate for breakfast.

Hey, you Swiss Miss bitch, go back home. It technically wasn't a hate crime because I'm half Dutch, so it's fine. Oh. What? Oh. Is that? Oh, okay. When someone says something is a hate crime, I'm just going to move on.

Yeah, that's a good idea. Just even the word getting messed up. I'm getting some Papa John vibes from Jordan right now, and I just want to move on. Some real January 6th shit radiating from that car, and I'm just trying to figure it out. Go home, Dutchies. car and I'm just trying to figure it out go home Dutchies take your formula one car and drive on back home take your wooden clogs and your tulips and windmill your way back to the Netherlands off yeah Nick's love makes three-quarters Dutch yeah man oh fuck That means he can dunk on me without it being a hate crime.

Yeah, he can. Man. And that's Torchy's. Anyway, Torchy's is good. End of story. So did we move on to the next section? Yeah, we moved on to the next section. You've, like, but you didn't... Hey. Oh, that's right. You moved Spittin' Silly up. Good job. Oh, yeah.

Oh, Jordan. But... Oh, Jordan. I didn't just move Spittin' Silly up. You job. Oh, Jordan. Oh, Jordan. I didn't just move spit and silly up. You copy pasted another spit and silly at the top. Here's the thing. He also made a key point to say he wrote down wetting our whistle. So why'd you write it down if you

didn't implement it? Oh, I forgot about wetting our whistle. Oh. That's what I was pointing out. You did say you were going to copy-paste the definition, which you have followed through on. I thought you were going to change the title. I just thought you were going to change the title Whistle. Make that change real quick.

In two weeks, we'll see if. Yeah, in two weeks, it's called Wet-N-R-Whistle. Don't worry. When we go eat Wendy's again or whatever, it's called Wet-N-R-Whistle. Well, this is what's great, okay? And we talked about this last week, that Wetn'R Whistle kind of became a thing because we've been repeat doing restaurants, and we haven't done this one before,

and it's kind of taken the place of going to the restaurant because we had lots to talk about there. Well, guess what? We went to the restaurant. Whoa! Okay, I don't know if Eric's muted or he just has some sort of... He's working really hard on fixing the spit and silly thing. I fixed it!

He's got some sort of compression on. I watched him scream and no noise came through at all. Wow, your car's really soundproof. He's doing it right now. He looks like a fish. It looks like he's getting fed. He's getting fed chum. Not yet. The rating comes later. So I don't know what he was

saying. So we went to Torchy's and it's literally next door to where we record in the parking lot at our offices. And they have outdoor seating. So we just went there. We ate outside like real human beings. And it was great.

And real heroes. It was a good time. Now we're back in our cars like animals. Yeah. Hung out with some grackles. There was a dog in a blanket. There was a dog. You at one point went, like something was gonna happen i

was so excited and uh it didn't dog didn't do anything wasn't dog was just in a blanket perplexed as to where he was and what he was eric eric saw the dog before it came out of the restaurant like before he came outside like he knew we also had a drink that you didn't write on here that is true i did not know if the ranch party was going to be part of what we were doing and then when i saw that it was there was signage i went all right this is okay so we also had the ranch party which was like a tequila and uh like topo chico drink yeah like mix um but i bring it up not because you failed to put it on the piece of paper but because when they brought out the drinks they spilled spilled one, and I went, that's Jordan's.

She took a little off the top. Yep. One of the ranch hands spilled it all over one of the other ranch hands, and then we had a real ranch party. It was a good time. Well, I mean, you keep saying ranch hand. Ranch hand's a taco. It's confusing.

Ranch hand is a, well, Nick knew immediately that Ranch Hand was a taco I know it's a taco because that's my go to taco Oh I didn't know that Eric's not from here He doesn't know We got an out of town Over here boys So breakfast tacos are this thing

In Austin Are you Dutch you probably don't get it On our tacos Why don't you go back to eating your soy and your kale On the west coast With your avocados Yeah Maybe if you didn't eat so many

You'd have a house by now you little bitch That's true That's me Anywho It was good We sat there Listen It was good We sat there It was Listen

It was really nice To get together It was And not have to eat In the parking lot Where people yell at me About the wind And

And your car was safe From all the various Sauces Absolutely It's true And Just through Scheduling

We usually do this On a Tuesday or a Wednesday. It's Friday. Oh, man. Friday afternoon Face Jam, it's different. Weekend starting early. Yeah, dude. I was so excited to start the weekend by eating at Torchy's,

recording an episode of Face Jam, and then starting my weekend. And then I wasn't excited the second we were done eating the food, and I went, I don't want to record a pizza show. I don't want to record an episode of Face Jam and then started my weekend and then I wasn't excited the second we were done eating the food and I went, I don't want to record this piece of shit show. I don't want to record an episode! The first thing I said was I'm too full to talk too much. Well the thing is, the thing it was like it was like, dude

this is such a good schedule, this isn't even going to seem like work. And then we experienced what not work really is. Yep. And I went, oh, no, it's definitely work. Oh, shit, we have to go work now. This show is definitely work. The last 15 months has been like this weird gray area of half work, half at home.

So it was always work, but it felt a little bit less like work. And then we did, probably for the first time in a year and a half actual no work and we were like oh we were set free man it was like I was a crab right and they fucking snipped the bands and I was like yeah I'm stretching my claws

and now I got dropped in the boiling water and I'm just screaming and squealing and that's this show this show is the boiling water and that's And I'm just screaming and squealing. And that's this show. This show is the boiling water. And that's why we're feeding the fish. And that makes, see, it all comes together. What a marine type of metaphor.

This is a marine biology episode. I was swimming when we went to order that food and the guy in front of us bought me a margarita. Oh, my God. Food. Again, I didn't even think about this. I, I just, the, one of the biggest things this show has been missing is because every time we go somewhere, something happens.

We're standing in line, right? Because we didn't order ahead. We're the only people in line. There's, there's one guy in front of us. There's four people behind one guy. And then we're all together. Um, Nick didn't wear the monkey mask, which I thought was very rude. But we're all standing there.

And the guy kept looking behind him. And I just thought, like, is this guy going to, like, start a fight? Like, he kept looking at us over and over again. And I didn't know why. And finally he turns around again and goes, hey, sorry. Like, he was taking too long. Yeah. And we're just like, oh, we're good.

We're not in a rush. And then, because it's Austin, then he turned around again and just started chit-chatting with Eric. And he was like, oh, we're good. We're not in a rush. And then, because it's Austin, Danny turned around again and just started chit-chatting with Eric. Yep. And he was like, oh, who's, you know, who lost the bet? Like, who has to pay? And, you know, so Eric's amusing the guy and going along with him. And then the guy finishes up, turns around, fucking hands him a

margarita. He bought him a margarita. Fucking couldn't believe it. How did he know I was 21? He was 21. How did he know? Oh! couldn't believe it how did he know i was 21 how did he know i was just like whoa it was he probably asked the bartender put a put some pepper on the rim this guy's got enough salt boy it was damn because of the gray hair all right It's mostly pepper. Shut up. Listen, that margarita, before we ate anything, I'm still feeling good. That was a drink to kickstart the weekend, man.

That was something. That was a good-ass margarita. All right, calm down. Calm down. We didn't get one, so calm down. Yeah. It couldn't have been that good. Right, yeah.

Because we didn't have it. That's what I'm going to tell myself. We didn't have it. And I couldn't share. I couldn't have been that good right yeah we didn't have it and I couldn't share I almost ran after the guy and told him yeah but he's not really paying he has a company card so basically he just swindled we have a podcast it's called Face Jam and he actually has a card and he's not really paying

so can I have a margarita don't take his away but buy three more thank you okay I didn't want to say anything but we were actually really pissed at how long You were taking like I was fucking believing We were just being polite And now you should buy us all margaritas Oh man

So that was going to it was awesome going back to the Going back to Torchy's Going back to a restaurant the first time and it's fucking Crazy again we're back Face jam's back it's true that was the Sign that it was like it's back, yeah. Now if only we could record inside

instead of in cars. I'm watching all these people go in and out of the studio. We can't go in. And then next week it won't be back when we're back eating in our cars or something. Uh-huh. Alright. That was pretty good.

We wet our whistle pretty sufficiently there. Oh, I think I definitely updated it. Wetting our whistle is there now. Okay. We're good, baby. Jordan, hit us with a haiku. Wetting the whistle will be updated, but then it'll be like the same getting the food next time.

There can only be one correction. Oh, for sure. Here's the Torchy'sches haiku a fun taco place quirky toppings for texans i want mechs hot techs and then and then and then i want to add this isn't normally done to a haiku but i want to add a like at the end. We're from here. By a couple of Austin natives. Hey, at this point, if you moved here before 2017, you're practically an Indian. That's all I'm saying.

You've been here longer than anyone. Oh, look, as long as you've lived here as long as I have, then it counts, right? Isn't that how it works? Exactly. Look, I remember these people coming in 2012 2013 get out of here austin's not as cool as it used to be in 2015 2011 i remember 2011 before it was on the map yeah nobody had heard of it somebody in 2012 told me that I had just moved here and he told me, you're here for Austin?

You just missed it. Damn. And now that guy lives in Des Moines, Iowa and didn't make $500,000 on his house. Fucking moron. Hang on, let's not insult the guy yet because what I was going to say and now Jordan and I do a podcast.

Hang on, let's not insult the guy yet, because what I was going to say, and now Jordan and I do a podcast. I remember saying, pack your bags, city boy. And then Jordan said, but this is Austin. And I went, yeah, the Wild West. Bang, bang. Joe Rogan, welcome. All right, you guys ready to learn about Torchy's? I had to put my fact sheet down to point up at him okay here we go founded in 2006 Torchies is an Austin original getting its start as a food truck

on South First Street wow that's the story of every Austin restaurant though no kidding wow it's a food truck there that's the thing here is if you want to go eat at a restaurant fuck you find out if it's a food truck or not because it's mostly a food truck yeah yeah oh it's 102 degrees outside eating the eating the shade kind of on a picnic table idiot here's an umbrella that depending on what time of day it is, he's probably providing shade. Eat next to this trash can. It's filled with bees. Welcome to Austin. Don't let the grackles get too close.

That was the day he had the best queso of his life. Sitting next to a bee-filled trash can. He just kept saying, I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Okay, this is relevant as well to this episode. Torchy's boasts a secret menu, which includes the Ace of Spades, a taco containing a jalapeno sausage link, grilled brisket, fried egg, green chili queso, cilantro, cotija cheese, sour cream, and Diablo sauce.

Wow, a Motorhead reference at a taco place? What a crazy place. Keep Austin weird. So we also ate that today yeah well we all ate about half of it yeah it's well hang on huge hang on the three of us ate about half of it yeah nick cleaned his fucking plate and was like licking the paper and then his his catchphrase that the audience might not know because usually his catchphrase is hmm yeah but his his human form catchphrase is uh i shouldn't have done that or like i don't know why i did that i'm gonna regret this some effect i'm gonna regret that but he says it every single episode every time when he's licking the box he goes oh boy

boy i'm in for it this time it's crazy because we talk about 100% eat and nick lives up to that motto 100% of the time i i don't know what it is about getting the food that he gets, but he just goes, I guess I have to eat the whole thing like a dog. Can't let anything go to waste. But his self-awareness exceeds his self-control because- Correct. He'll do it before he eats it. He's reaching for it and goes, I'm going to regret this.

I shouldn't do this. And he's eating it. And he's like, you can stop any time, Nick. No one's forcing you. He said something today, too, after he had eaten it, begun his regret spiral. And somebody questioned something, and he said, well, it's food. Like, what was it going to do? What else is it there for?

What choice do I have? I'm just a man. Damn, dude. It's crazy. Okay, next fact. In 2013, well after Austin wasn't weird anymore and became a lame-o place, thanks to people moving here, Torchy's filed a lawsuit against Texas Taco Company alleging moving here, Torchy's filed a lawsuit against Texas Taco Company,

alleging that a former Torchy's employee stole the company's, quote, taco Bible to start the restaurant. We at Face Jam find writing another Bible sacrilegious, as there is only one true Bible, and Jordan is going to say which one it is right now. Jordan? Edit out this pause while I think of something funny. Okay.

I finished reading that, looked over, and Eric was hunched forward with his mouth hanging open. Couldn't wait. I couldn't. I'm like, oh, I wrote that at 6.45 a.m. and I went, Jordan's going to love this one. He looked like the wooden clown laughing that you walk into the mouth of to go into a funhouse mirror. Like, that was him. I'm like, waiting for Jordan to get trapped inside.

Oh, boy. Okay. It's the Steve Guttenberg Bible, by the way. Oh, there it is. Okay. It is referenced. It's a Gutenberg. And then he died.

In December, well, as far as Hollywood's concerned. It's true. And that's all that matters. Their opinion is the only opinion that we care about. In December 2019. No, no, no. You skipped one. You skipped one.

You skipped one. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Oh, another lawsuit. Oh, my God. I saw a lawsuit. I'll be honest. You take out the number and it's copy paste verbatim the same thing, which is why I skipped

it. Here we go. In 2017, way after Austin wasn't cool anymore, but almost at the point where it started becoming cool again, Torchy's filed a lawsuit against Colorado-based Damn Good Tacos, alleging the name infringes on their own slogan, Damn Good Tacos. Damn Good Tacos is no longer in business and powerhouse

taco company Torchy's rules the middling yet expensive taco landscape. They are expensive. It's very, that, what we just ate was I mean, we'll just say over budget for what we were supposed to spend. I knew it. I knew it. The cheapest tacos

were probably the hotties. It was the drink and the Ace of Spades, I'll tell you. Absolutely. It's a ton of fucking food in that thing. And finally. This is why we have to bring our own drinks. The last fact. In December 2019, Austin is cool again, baby.

Came back around. Woo! Torchy's had a lawsuit filed against them. Whoa! A woman slipped and fell on a wet floor with no sign. Uh-oh. We cannot confirm nor deny this lawsuit is crafted revenge from Damn Good Tacos and Texas Taco Company.

We don't know. Dang, they work together. Do you think they hired this woman as like a slip and fall expert? Or do you think they sabotaged and just attacked some random pedestrian? I hadn't considered representatives from damn good tacos at Texas Taco Company sending people to a Torchy's to attack a woman. Yeah. I just figured they hired someone, but I like your idea a lot more.

To do like a pratfall. Yeah. I like the idea of them being like, we'll wet the floor, but I don't want to slip. We'll just wait for someone to do it. They walked in, and they said, hi, can we get you anything? And they both said, just two free water cups, please. And then they looked at each other and winked.

And that woman's dead now. Like Gutenberg. Anyway, those are the facts. We learned a lot. That was great. We learned a lot about Torchies. I learned the fucking shit on that drink is giving me a fucking reaction. I cannot stop scratching my face.

My nose is so goddamn... That red shit. Are you allergic to tahini? Are you allergic to tahini? Are you allergic to tahini? It's killing me. The whole show, I'm like clawing my face off. I don't know. You're allergic...

You might be allergic to tahini. I like this. This is interesting. It was on the outside of the drink, like... Kind of like salt. It's like a salted rim on a margarita. Yeah. With tahini.

And it got all over my face, and they laughed at me, and I cried a little bit. But now my nose is on fire right now. And now we feel bad because you're in pain. Maybe that's why I wasn't a huge fan of it. We ate a bunch of it in Snack Attack. That's fine. We'll get tweets. You'll get tweets.

You'll get yours. All right. Block a bunch of people. What do I care? Get'll get yours alright block a bunch of people what do I care get him out of here hey also what do I care I'm right there with you buddy

it's like we're at an impasse but neither one of us gives a shit oh no my friends Eric stop blocking my friends It's like we're at an impasse, but neither one of us gives a shit. Oh, no, my friends. Eric, stop blocking my friends. Hey, Michael, I tweeted Eric like you told me to, and he blocked me.

Can you do anything about it? Hey, you blocked me, too. Yeah. Well, I'll do something. Well, clearly, if I go to Nick, he won't block me. Right. He won't. Oh, man. He won't.

Nick won't. He said no. Nick's looking for anything. He's just looking for engagement. Yeah, Nick's like, oh, I need the numbers. Hey, you want to take me out to eat? Hey, you want to take me out to eat? I'll bring the mask.

Nick starts working on the side as like a mascot, but it's just for free food. Yeah. He doesn't actually do anything. Oh, man. Oh, shit. Those are the facts. Oh, man.

We got a little spit and silly there. Good, because that was the perfect place for it. Boom, baby. You guys hear about these chicken wars? What? Go ahead. The chicken wars that have been spawned? The fuck is the chicken wars?

Here's the thing. He might be talking about something we talked about, and I already forgot. I have no idea. Is this true? Yeah, we haven't talked about it yet. What is this? I'm asking if you've heard about the chicken wars.

No. I think it's pretty clear we haven't based on our befuddlement and confusion. I don't know. Hey, hey, ask one more time just to be sure. That was just for us. That was just for us. If we weren't in our cars

I think you'd run us down I keep looking over at you and you're just itching your back against your seat and rubbing your face I'm sinking into my seat I have not stopped rubbing my nose for 25 minutes I'm chafing it now I'm getting a chafe.

People are going to think I was hanging out in the TGIF's bathroom. And I'm going to say, no, it's the taheen. It's making me loco. Okay, I'm ready to find out what the chicken wars are now. Alright, let's hear it.

It's the thing where Burger King has their new chicken sandwich and they're taking on Chick-fil-A by donating a whopping 40 cents per chicken sandwich to the Trevor Project. Yeah, but how much is a chicken sandwich? Like 49 cents? Because it came out

that Chick-fil-A, even though they said they weren't going to support anti-gay and LGBT charity, or not even charities, but organizations, it that uh chick-fil-a even though they said they weren't gonna support anti-gay and lgbt like charity or not even charities but like organizations uh it came out that they were using like shell companies and stuff to fund anti-trans crap in georgia so burger king's like well we got this new chicken sandwich, so let's start. It's Pride Month. Let's commodify this in some way.

So they were like, eat shit, Chick-fil-A. Eat shit. Fuck you, Chick-fil-A. That's the commercial. A lot of the tweets and stuff have been catty like that, where it's like, oh, and we're open on Sunday. Damn. Did Burger King tweet the one where it's like women belong in the kitchen?

It was UK Burger King. That was UK Burger King, which, oh boy. That's not the US Burger King, but to be fair, they would never explain themselves over and over again. Right, right, right. They kept explaining, it's a gotcha. And we refused to delete it.

Guys, no, it's funny. You don't we refuse to tell you guys no it's funny you don't get it you guys don't get how funny it is you're welcome hey if you're unfamiliar

it was like we at Burger King think women belong in the kitchen and then they had a next tweet that was like if they want to

of course and then they used this statistic about like helping like female chefs. And it's very much like, oh, this is like a good thing. But you intentionally made a shit bag tweet to trick people into getting angry. Exactly.

And then people were like. And that's all people focused on. We're angry. But even the thing, people then focused on what it actually was. But they were like, yeah, but you still used a shitty stereotype to demean people and going, just kidding. It's actually good. So how helpful are you really being?

But I still don't like it. And they went, no, it's good. This is good. This is good. They kept saying it. They turned around and they went, this is good. I'm leaving this up. And the other guy said, oh, that's good.

This is good. Yeah, this rules. We rule. This is good. You're welcome. And then they high-fived each other and was like, man is good. I'm leaving this up. And the other guy said, oh, that's good. This is good. Yeah, this rules. We rule. This is good. You're welcome. And then they high-fived each other and was like, man, I wish I had a girlfriend. They high-fived each other and then started kissing each other. And it was just like, what's happening here?

And they're just like, man, I don't know why I can't get girls to like me. Anyway, good tweet, bro. Solid. Wow. Oh, good tweet, bro. Solid. Wow. Oh, man. That's the sound of fried chicken with a spicy history.

Thornton Prince was a ladies' man. To get revenge, his girlfriend hid spices in his fried chicken. He loved it so much, he opened Prince's Hot Chicken.

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dq presents how to officially start your summer step one head to the perfect spot to kick off the season dq step two try the new summer blizzard menu i mean summer is right there in the name in step three dig into flavors like new peanut butter cookie dough party, new picnic peach cobbler, and more. Because with treats like these, every bite feels like you're starting summer off right. But don't wait. These flavors are only around as long as summer is.

Make the season official with the new Summer Blizzard menu. Only at DQ. Happy tastes good. Well, let's learn about the food. Oh, yeah. Oh, baby. It's a bit silly. It wasn't done yet.

Yeah, we spat. Torchy's Texas Hotties. He spat. I sat. Available at participating. Uh-oh. Don't look at Nick. You do not interrupt him.

That was a wheeze. All right. Available at participating Torchy's locations. You do not interrupt him. That was a wheeze. All right. Available at participating Torgy's locations June 1st to 30th. The Texas hottie features a hottie chicken tender, cayenne sauce, cabbage slaw, chow chow pickled relish. Oh, those poor dogs. Honey and fresh cotija cheese with chipotle sauce on a flour tortilla for $5.95. Which, which, which like it,

I mean, it lists the price. It's informative, but I feel like usually that's where they go. Look at how affordable it is. $6 is a lot for tacos. Especially for that taco. It's a lot.

It's a lot of money for not a lot of taco. Yeah. Or like, I mean like it's all there but it's like a strip of chicken it's like two chicken strips or something yeah it was not a ton also there was honey there was a lot of flavors going on yeah yeah it was pretty pretty weird oh hey do you want me to read what the ranch party is real quick yeah. Because we got that, so why not? Sure. Tell me what's attacking my senses right now.

Available for $10.50, the Ranch Party is made with Camerina Silver Tequila, house-made Sweet and Sour, and Topo Chico served with a Tahin Salt Rim and a Lime Wheel. So it's definitely the... Oh, he heard Tahin. He heard

Tahin. Yeah, he's just scratching his nose. Yep. Oh, he's punching his face. I lost an earbud. He's itching and scratching, man. That guy, he's... He looks like a bear in the woods. He's got a scratchy back.

You're really yoga situation. I'm just rubbing my nose up against a tree. Yeah, yeah. You're rubbing and scritching and scratching. Classic bear style. Wiping your nose on the carpet, like face down, pushing your head. That sounds even itchier, Jordan. Oh, carpet fibers?

You must be allergic to tahini. I don't know. There's nothing else in there that you would have been allergic to. Jordan. That's true. You could have been allergic to Jordan. Or any of the number of grackles he was summoning. Okay.

This guy, he was putting out vibes because these birds kept showing up right behind him every time. Yep. They would land near him and then look at him like, what is your bidding? He's like Aquaman. I told you. Word goes around amongst the Corvids. He's like Aquaman, dude. He's like Aquaman. And they you, word goes around amongst the Corvids. He's like Aquaman, dude. He's got... He's like Aquaman.

He's Grackleman. He's Grackleman. Yeah, Aquaman gets all, like, the whole ocean. He just gets... It's not even birds. It's just Grackles. It'd be like if Aquaman only got, like, blowfish or something. You got a couple of pictures of him looking at a grackle behind him well he's like sending

it like telekinetic messages to like when we're gonna leave and how they can eat yeah i told them i'd leave something behind see when you when you look at the picture you might think jordan went is there a bird behind me but really he, he's going, hey, it's nice to see you again. Oh, there you are. I had a blast last weekend. I'm a big fan of your podcast. You guys are killing it. Oh, man.

I'm glad you guys are going to restaurants again. I like how, like, not, like, open this podcast was when it started, right? Like, you could just listen to it. You didn't need to know anything. I feel like we provided all the context, right? It's not like about a topic you need to know anything about or you need to learn anything. Now, about 42, 43 episodes in, if you don't listen to this show regularly, it makes no sense at all. At all.

Like, everything we're saying right here makes total sense because I think, well, the last time. Right. If you just decide, I'm going to start listening to this. I imagine it's quite demented. It must be crazy where you just go, so this guy talks to birds or what's going on? What are they talking about? And then someone else goes, yeah, they've been talking about that for about 80% of

the show. I think that came around episode 10 or something, or earlier. Just go, oh, he's the Gobbleman's Grackle. What does that mean? Well, you know, the hat. What? Oh, man, shit. Oh, can i say too this is this is this is how stupid this show is you know we made the very first shirt we made was i'll peel back

the curtain a little bit was 100 eat and we had the whole you know boneless discussion we ended up doing a burger on the shirt just because it was a great design. But burger also 100% eat. Correct. And we're talking about new designs. Maybe cut this if this is like. No, no, leave it. No, let's leave it in. If this is too hot. If this is too hot.

But we're talking to the FaceGM merch team. Yep. A bunch of very talented individuals. Absolutely. And they pitched an idea of like, hey, we're circling it back for new designs. And we were thinking about doing like, what if we do 100% drink? Sure. And it was just a clean design,

had the can on it and everything, and my immediate reply was, okay, well, this isn't going to work because you don't drink the can, so it can't be 100% drink. It would have to be maybe 80, 85% drink, or maybe we don't do a can. We'll have to figure this out

maybe a coconut i don't know it was kind of immediately met with like yeah okay uh uh yeah it's not something like we have it was basically like oh this is i don't care about any of this is too much i don't care i just tried i just thought oh that's a cool shirt let's make another shirt and i had to step in with the lore and go hang hang on, this doesn't make sense. Hang on. I'm like the hired expert on set. And I was like, hang on. Time out. He's like a script supervisor. And he's like, no, no, this doesn't

jive. This doesn't flow. According to Face Jam lore, this doesn't make sense. It's not the continuity doesn't add up with this. So what percent drink, if you were to have a beer in a can, what percent drink is that? I mean, the can probably is about 15%.

I would say about 15%, right? Wow. What do you mean? You think less? I think it's only like 10% of the 15 seems high to me. I mean, okay, I'm going to be honest. I'm willing to have the discussion of 10... 15 seems high to me. I mean, okay, I'm gonna be honest. I'm willing to have the discussion of 10 to 15,

but your reaction was a little overblown to go, 15? I'm thinking, yeah. 15 seems... 15 feels like it's almost 20, and that's exceptionally high. Yeah, but here's the thing you're not thinking about. It's because it is almost 20, but it's also almost 10. That's right. That's right.

So, you're thinking about the size of the can. I'm thinking about the height of the can and you can visualize it. But what I can't visualize is the thickness of the walls of the can. There could be 5 extra percent in there. So thin. It depends on the can too. It's not that thin. It keeps it cold, you dumb motherfucker.

I'll kill you. I'll strangle you to death. I'll kill you Scientists Of Face Jam Of the Face Jam audience Do a volume experiment Like break out Break out your

Protractors We need to be scientifically accurate If it's 92.8% drink, then that's what it is. That's what it is. I'd love to put that on a shirt. If we need the decimal point, we'll put it on the shirt.

Yep. What happened between the taco and the press material? I don't know. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's right. I forgot. I forgot.

This is a mess. I have one more thing before we get to the press material. Go on. You're talking about keeping the lore in order. Yeah. The lore in order. Whoa. Dun, dun!

That's what it is in England, lore in order. Yeah. This is the best show we make. We need for, for like at a company level for people to like reference and for new listeners who want to come in

at episode 43 and don't get all the fucking grackle jokes. We need a Face Jam Bible. That's the true Bible. So you think there should be a new Bible? This is the Bible. Wow.

Now edit this in to the top. No, we won't. We won't. We'll let the audience know that you thought of nothing and then this happened and you screamed, there it is, there's my answer. It just took this long The best jokes take 25 minutes We're into the press material section

Oh, the Face Jam Bible Go back, go back Anyway, coming soon to a hotel room near you The Face Jam Bible I bet some jammers have that I bet some jammers have made it I mean, you see the crazy stats and shit people keep. Yeah.

Yep. I bet there's some sort of Bible of like, in this episode, 100% he was born. And in this episode, the world was changed forever from the McMillions scandal. Right. But I want it to be written like it is a Bible. So it has to have books. I agree. I would love that.

I would love if there was something written like the Bible, because right now I really like the stats thing that we get every two weeks because there's weird things at the end where it's just yes and no questions. It's like, was it chicken? Yes. Well, was it 100%? Yes. And then it's the guy going like, did he do his homework on time?

No. And I'm like, what homework? What happened? Who did homework? I don't understand the stat. Is this about you now? Do your homework and then do the stats. Do your homework. What are you doing? His homework doesn't

affect me in any way. Yeah, no, he should do the stats first. On to the press material. Press material. Just a regular episode, this is. The only thing that burns hotter than summertime in Texas is our love of food that brings the heat, said Mike Ripka.

Not to be confused with Mike Ditka, founder of Torchy's Tacos. We got the founder given press material? Oh, baby, this is a first. Yeah. The Texas hottie does just that with a hot chicken tender and a flavorful cayenne sauce. But. Flip hang, you're going to flip the page over.

But we're also providing relief. Oh, thank goodness. With cool ingredients like fresh cabbage, slaw, chow chow, pickled relish, honey and fresh. So tea hot cheese. Oh, man. Thanks for watching out for us, Mike Ripka. There was a point where I started panicking and screaming for help. Too hot.

Just keep eating. Just keep eating. The relief is coming. The chow chow pickled relish is just right around the corner. Tears streaming down my face. I went, okay. And I just kept eating and went ah oh there are those cool ingredients yep and boy is that uh not a better like thing to eat

on a hot summer day because it is a balmy 91 degrees and i can only imagine what the heat index is i'm thirsty i'm digging around for some summer baby so thirsty oh i'm thirsty i don't think i have any water left. No. Keep going. Keep doing the shower. Oh, no. You gave me your last one. Yep. Well, I would feel bad, but I don't. What is that? That looks like shampoo. No, that's like car spray. No! Armor, old baby. Eric, but I'm going to smell like a new car. No.

You smell like shampoo earlier. What's that smell? It's a new car. No. It's hot buttered buns. Look, I did smell like shampoo, but Jordan's car also smelled like buttered bread. We could not smell the bread. We only smelled your shampoo. You weren't in the bread spot.

You were the only one who smelled the buttered buns. Because I was in the hot bread bun seat. I got in the car and I said, what's that smell? And everyone went, what are you talking about? And I'm like, it's bread, buttered bread. You just kept saying over and over again, I smell shampoo. And I was like, I cleaned for you. Do you like it?

It was really something. I mean, yes, you smelled good, Michael, but you didn't smell like bread No, I didn't your car did I don't I don't know why you were I don't know why you're a bread denier Damn, I got all kinds of like windex bread 11 didn't happen To half drinking waters it's water dump it on your face so you can be relieved

yeah right no I can't waste it I'm too thirsty oh man alright well keep doing the show water break getting the food

alright I'll read about getting the food yep it says being right next to the office makes Torchy's dangerous it does that's a place that we went to a lot.

And Michael was talking about going there a lot while we were there and getting crazy bean and cheese and then eating them all day long. I would either pick up breakfast a lot for the office because you could order it ahead of time through the app, and I'd swing by and pick it up and then just dump breakfast on the office because it's just the kind of hero I am. You are truly. Or.

Did you get the local discount? Oh, no. They weren't implementing yet at that time. Or I'd cruise on over for lunch because you could just walk there. I'd walk there, and if I didn't order ahead, I'd order it, and while I was waiting, there's a full bar in there. Maybe I have a little drink grab my taco walk back loving lunch damn that's what i'm talking about when i say it makes it dangerous it's just right

there it's true it's so good and it's so good alcohol yeah sometimes people in line are buying you alcohol sometimes protein though all that protein you could bulk up that that was i use torches to bulk oh why are you laughing something's bulking yeah i eat the ace of spades and it's just well here's the problem you see me now you see i've become a shadow of my former self it's because i haven't had torches i haven't had torches it's true it's true it's keeping me strong you look like you're minus 20 right now oh yeah you really like yeah i'm not that far, but trust me. Today's going to set me back. Minus 15?

You won't say that tomorrow. 15? Yeah. Well, that's going to be later, too. Look, we're just going to pack it on. I'm ready to pack it in. Yeah. Let's go camping. That's what I'm going to call it now. Nice. What are you doing this weekend? Going camping. Oh, where are you going? The bar. Camping out at the bar, baby.

Hell yeah. Should we review this food or what? I think so. So here's the thing. We have officially on the list, we have the Texas hottie. Do you want to also include the ranch party as part of this review? Jordan says no. Nah, we don't need to.

Okay, you know what? It it was good but it's not gonna as a whole thing it's not gonna influence it's true you know what i agree so let's discuss it because it's not getting a score yeah i don't give a shit about topo chico yep not really a fan of seltzer water however in the last year and a half i've fallen under the evil grip of the seltzer alcohols yep and so while i still don't like seltzer water. You're in the pocket of hard seltzer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. While I still don't love seltzer, I'm fine with it now.

Yep. And so this drink was actually very good. So there's some sort of tequila. They have the death powder that Mikey no likey. And you pour in some Topo Chico. I guess the only problem is they give you the rest of the Topo Chico because it comes in a bottle. And they only used like 10% of it in the drink. Maybe 10%.

Maybe. Maybe even 15. You can drink. No, not 15! You can. You're supposed to drink it. And then as you're drinking it, you could just add more. And it didn't taste bad,

but the second I got it low enough where I added more Topo Chico, it lost all flavor. It tasted like nothing. It just tasted like water with death powder. Yeah. Yeah. Their sweet and sour mix that they make is good until you put that Topo Chico in it.

It's fucking gone, man. I would just drink it without ever. that they make is good until you put that Topo Chico in it. It's fucking gone, man. I would just drink it without ever. I honestly, if I knew, I would have just had the Topo Chico separate and not poured it into the drink. I agree. I agree. Here's how you know we're not really from Austin. None of us like Topo Chico.

That is true. Nick, do you like Topo Chico? Nick likes it. Thumbs up. What is that? He's from here. Have you been here since 84? No, he didn't make the cutoff.

2006. No, 86. 86? Yeah. I think he said 2006. I think he said 2006. Yeah. Whoa.

He's from the future. He said we're so 2008 and he's 3000 and late. Hang on. Is it cool again up in there? Yeah, it's awesome. Thumbs up. Thumbs up. I thought he said 1886.

Oh, that sounds right. That's what I thought he was doing. That makes sense. It was a pretty good drink. It was good. It. That makes sense. Anyway, it was a pretty good drink. It was good. I wouldn't add more. It was light, refreshing. It was light, refreshing, though, because it watered it down too much. If you are going and you have the choice between the ranch party and just the regular margarita,

I had both. Get the margarita. You son of a bitch. The margarita was so fucking good. I'm so angry about it. And you could tell them, give me a margarita, but put Taheen on the rim because I want to get itchy like Mikey. Here's what I'm going to do. Here's what I'm going to do.

Don't you worry about it, okay? I'm going to go to the bar tonight. I'm going to buy a margarita for everyone there except Eric. What the? I'm going to go, you had yours! Yeah. You don't get two in one day. Four and a half hours ago, you had yours! Yeah. You don't get two in one day. Four and a half hours ago, you had yours.

Five hours ago, this little gremlin betrayed us all. Didn't share it or nothing. I couldn't share it. Anyway, on to the taco. Yeah. All right, let's review that taco. All right, this taco's pretty good. Not too spicy. It's called the hottie but

not too hot well it was cooling it was all they really balanced out everything was at the end like my last bite was the spiciest and so uh there was nothing nothing to relieve me in my in my my spicy fervor after that but it's okay because it wasn't that bad. I like the chicken. They do a lot of chicken tender tacos that are really good. And yeah, I don't know. The tortilla, a little soggy. I don't know if you guys had this. It was wet.

Mine was a little soggy and a little floppy and it didn't taste It didn't taste that good like it didn't hold it up But I mean I'm not gonna knock it for that I'm sure it was just it was hot and sweaty because it's a it's a Texas hottie. I'm gonna give it a 75 Okay, I think fair's perfectly fine, perfectly respectable Torchy's taco. And everything they make is at least that good. Yeah, I would say that.

I would say everything they make is like right there. It's a good chain. I feel the worst thing Torchy's has going for it is the people who won't shut the hell up about how it's the best thing ever made. Yes. Because you can only be disappointed. Especially the queso. This guy. I like the queso, but.

I get it. The queso's fine. Shut up. Yeah. I mean, I would say my tortilla wasn't soggy, but it was floppy. But pretty much on point with everything else. It was all good. It was a good assortment of flavors.

There was a lot of stuff in there that all it all worked very well together nothing that stands out and nothing that detracts really it was like uh you know sometimes when you bite into like something like a taco or a burger that's got like nine different ingredients they don't really mesh well or one really stands out and i don't think that really happened. It was pretty good and I'm just going to say 80. Wow. It was an 80. It was a good, it was a damn good taco.

Don't sue me. Sue Aaron. For legal reasons that's D-A-M. D-A-M good taco. Oh yeah, that's right. It's a 77.5 and I think that that's pretty much what everything at Torchy's is. Except the Ace of Spades. That's better than that.

If we were grading the Ace of Spades, way higher. Here's the only thing about the Ace of Spades that it was less than ideal today. The Ace of Spades is so much goddamn food, and it's so big. They actually have special tortillas just for the ace of spades that are like 30 larger uh and they didn't have that i'm assuming a like you know post quarantine you know pandemic shortage that's my assumption because i've never i've never not gotten it ordering the ace of spades so they just give you two tacos and you were kind of left to like split the difference. Yeah, I don't think it really helped.

I don't think having double tortilla really helped. It didn't really help at all. You just need a big one tortilla. So it was very messy. So that would lose a few points in general. But I've never experienced that before. I'm going to blame COVID-19 on that one. You evil, evil virus.

And say it's a very good taco. The downside is because it's on the secret menu, you can't order it through the app. Oh. Because it's a secret. So you either have to call, I imagine, or go there. Ew, gross. It just takes a long time. We got lucky. I thought it was going to be packed today. It wasn't. Sometimes you walk in

and it's a 35 minute wait. There was only one guy in front of us and he bought this motherfucker a margarita. Yeah. The hell? Alright. What's he got? Are these peanuts or ice cream? It's snack time. Are these peanuts or ice cream? Ice cream. Yeah, ice cream. Do I need to

say it again? Do I need to repeat it? Okay. Chicken Wars. Peanuts. Yo. Yo. Yo. If this repeat it okay so chicken wars peanuts yo yo yo if this makes my nose itch you're dead you're a dead man oh no I'll fucking spicy I'm gonna I'm gonna have a bunch of spicy snacks now left over if I get itchy I'm gonna scratch him later oh you hear Mikey and Eric if I get if I get itchy I'm gonna scratch itchy, I'm going to scratch him later. Oh. Did you hear me? The Mikey and Eric show.

If I get itchy, I'm going to scratch you. No! Yeah. I'm coming. Mikey's coming claws out. Eric just dumped this, like, the almonds in my hand, but now my hand is coated in, like, the spices. He gave me way too many. When I was a kid, I kept scratching.

I ate one. And my mother wanted me to get my nails removed. And my father said, no, it's inhumane. Cut off the ends of his fingers. They said, what if he needs to defend himself against a small rat man? Thank God he said that. Thank God. Now I know what he meant.

He had the foresight. He knew. He did. The prophecy fulfilled. Eat a bunch of them all at once. He did. He knew. He did. The prophecy fulfilled. Eat a bunch of them all at once. Fuck you. Yeah, I only ate one. These are good.

Yeah, they are. They're good. They're very dry. Dry, dry, dry. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They're dry. It's a hot like, it tastes like, it tastes like Andy's hot fries.

That's very similar. A hundred percent. Yeah. It's hot fries. That's very similar. A hundred percent. Yeah. It's pretty hot. It's building in my mouth. And not even just the spice, but the flavor tastes exactly like the Andy's hot fries powder. Yep. I think this might be an Andy's hot fry.

Is this a hot fry or is this? No, it's an almond. It's a hot almond. Are you sure? I thought these were French fries. No. Nope, nope, nope. Almonds. Is this a hot fry or is this? No, it's an almond. It's a hot almond. Are you sure? I thought these were French fries. No, no, no, no. Almonds. Is this a fried pickle?

These are blue diamond extreme ghost pepper almonds from X Factor 99. I'll be honest. They don't taste that hot to be extreme double X death ghost pepper. They're not that hot. You should have just called them spicy almonds and I would have been fine with it. Again, like Andy's hot fries. They go, they're hot. Yeah.

They're not kill you hot. I mean, they burned a little bit. I was a little Texas hottie for a second there. I definitely would eat these with a drink on hand, for sure. If I had a beer and these, game over. It's not really the spice. It's just they're so fucking dry. They're very dry, yeah.

But these are good. I can live with this amount. These are really good. I'm going to hit these with a 75. 90. Wow. I'm going to say 75. 82.5.

I don't go ape shit over nuts. You don't go nuts over nuts. I go nuts for nuts. I like nuts in other things more than just eating them. Like a salad? No. Oh, okay. More like an ice cream or something. Yeah, you were really hoping that what I

was handing you was ice cream? I wasn't hoping it. I just said, is it ice cream? He was just asking. Why did you think it was ice cream? He was just making sure it was ice cream. Yeah. Yeah. That could be my ice cream he was just making sure because it looked like a little ice cream yeah yeah that could be maybe yeah well you're showing me the fucking cover if you're just showing the back the size of it could easily be the size of like a pint of ice cream you're looking at the

label i didn't see the label and i just went oh pint of ice cream i think you're crazy hey if you want your snack rated you can send us snacks maybe you don't eat ice cream every night. Send it to Face Jam. Eric Bedore, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas. 78723. Thank you, Jordan. You're welcome. Someone's got to keep this thing on rails. I thought that was Nick. Yeah, that's what Nick's here

for. When he goes, ooh, that's how you know it's going. So we have a lot of snacks, and here's what we have coming up rtx quick go ahead are you okay rtx is quickly approaching um at rt don't throw nuts at my car you son of a You didn't get the finish. Grackle, come and get it! Stop. No! Here comes the spicy one. I heard that one. I heard that through his microphone.

There's fucking spots on my windows where he hit it. There's spicy explosions. We couldn't have an episode where your car makes it out unscathed. Jesus Christ. Well, here's the thing. RTX is quickly approaching. It's going to be in July. FaceJam will be there in full force.

We'll be doing two things during RTX. One, we will be doing our panel. That'll be during the day. That'll be a snack attack. That'll be a... You know, you guys seen snack attack before? We're doing another one. We have a lot, a lot of snacks that we are going to have to get through.

There's an abundance. Yeah, but the panel is only 23 minutes, right? Oh, shit. Yeah, we'll eat fast. Get mud mouth as fast as you can. Oh. Yep. So we have that.

And then there's also a ticketed event. If you go to FaceJamPod on Twitter, you can buy tickets to this event. We have our first ever live recording of Face Jam, the podcast. Oh, shit! We've never done it before. We've never done a live episode. We've waited. It's gonna be awful. Yeah. Oh, it's gonna be this.

You guys can see the train wreck live. So, we will, if you get the ticket, we'll let you know what we're going to eat so you can get it too. And then you can eat along with the episode. Just like always, we'll eat before. We will eat before, but you are free to eat during

because you're a little gremlin and I'm not watching you do it. So it's fine. Or listening is more important. Yeah, right. So we will eat before and do our episode recording. Tickets are on sale now. I think it's rtxevent.com is where you can get tickets.

So go do that. That'll be a lot of fun. I'm really excited for the live episode. We've never done that for this show. We've had ideas. It's exciting. It's exciting because it's the first time we're doing an actual episode of Face Jam. But also, it's the first time since march that we're going to be recording an

episode of face jam yeah like together in person not in our cars oh now i care yeah that'll be a lot of fun you got me you finally won me over here we go i'm also gonna announce this oh good so you'll do it you're what do you what breaking news play the thing play the thing breaking news What are you, what? Breaking news. Play the thing. Play the thing. Breaking news. I don't have that ready.

You gotta have it ready at the drop of a hat. Don't worry, Nick will edit it in. It's over us right now. Good job, Nick. I'm gonna announce this right now. We are starting a YouTube page. This podcast. The Grackle guys.

This podcast will be going on YouTube. There will be a slightly different video version from what you're used to on the Rooster Teeth site. But it will be just the regular podcast going up on this YouTube channel. So you can tell your friends, hey, this is the time to get people. This is the Face Jam Challenge all over again. Because we're going to have to tell people to listen to Face Jam on YouTube. Face Jam challenge 2021. Yeah, because

we're... Did you do this? Did you say he could do this? Who said this? Nick told me it was fine. He ran it by me and I was like, yeah, I told him ask Nick, so. Can I say something that's upset me? I just realized I have not seen him wear the mask once

today that's true put it on please i'm ordering you but also asking i i realize he's getting a little too comfortable as a human there it is okay that there's the real nick dude you can be your real self in front of us yeah i want to say the real we met beautiful we met in the parking lot we did the whole We ate the food. We did the whole episode, and it just dawned on me he never put it on. And the second he put it on, he started dancing like a monkey. He knew. Like his shoulders don't activate until the mask goes on.

He needed it. Nick needs it too. He's been hoping the entire time. Okay, he's letting it all out right now. He's still going. He's going crazy. He's dancing. Uh-oh. 23 skidoo!

Alright, RTX YouTube channel, and maybe we'll have some kind of new content that we put up there. That would be crazy. Yeah, what's up? Talking about the new content.

There should be some new content going up. There should be some new content going up on that YouTube page. So follow us on Twitter, at FaceJamPod, and on Instagram, at FaceJamPod, where you go to YouTube.com slash FaceJam probably, and you can follow us there. I burned my arm. I've been holding it on the car for so long. That was pretty good. I fought through

because I could take it. Yep. So, we are launching this YouTube channel. It's just another place where you can listen. That's the point. We just figured, like, we just figured, look, we put this out on audio platforms. It's on the site. Just listen to it. You can listen to it on YouTube if you want to. You can just listen to it on YouTube. That's, you know, we're just putting it

up there until the invasion. What the? But we are also looking to get... Don't talk about that yet. Guys, the stuff we're not supposed to talk about is the long-term plan where we are trying to get new shows on that YouTube channel. So they should not have to mention that? Well, I i mean they didn't say not to but they also didn't say

definitely i just figured we'd end when i said the invasion and then they'd edit some sort of like and then like an area 51 thing or something swear science that was my thought wow um there's so much breaking news the next thing you're gonna tell tell me is that, like, I don't know, the Compliments Crackle Hat is coming out soon or something. Jordan, the Compliments Crackle Hat is coming out at the end of June. What? I think June 24th is what they told us, but if that date changes, don't hold this to it.

And it will. And it will. No. I'm going to request it get delayed. At Face Jam Pod on Twitter and on Instagram. Go follow us there. Get all the new information. I can't wait for the compliments, Grackle Hat.

But we also have on sale all the stuff from Ghost Kitchen, too. Don't forget that Ghost Kitchen merch, because that shit was awesome. I love that. Yeah, dude. I love the Ghost Kitchen stuff. I thought it was so cool. But, guys, we did it. That's the whole episode.

Go to store.roosterteeth.com for all your face jam needs. And, Jordan, Michael, any final words before we leave these little monsters? Yeah, I think this episode should have been longer. It's too short. If I had to say anything, too short. Yeah. episode should have been longer it's too short if i had to say anything too short yeah this is why we get to fluff the we get to fluff the ads right because we record these first and then go yeah it's like this is a little short let's conflate it give them long we didn't give them long enough hey dude the last ones we did masterpieces hell yeah yeah. Almost too

on the rails. It's like when you go to Disneyland and you're on Autopia and it's like, I'm driving a car, but there's a rail in the middle keeping you on track and it's like, I'm not really driving this car. Name another show that's very true. Name another show where the

producer, I'm doing air quotes, says, hey, got anything to say? And I say, dude, the last episode, those ads ruled because I talked about how Jordan screams at the sun and he hates the sun. And then also at the end, I was peeking through his blinds with x-ray specs watching him. This is the kind of content you're missing out on

if you don't listen to the ads It's true You gotta listen to the ads Like oh man there needs to be a whole separate bible Or like appendix for just like the ad lore And then And then we sell it again To the same advertisers

We double our profits We make a killing Then we get a new working van. No, it works. The van is fine. And that's the end of the episode. The van is great and everyone loves it. Jordan, say goodbye.

Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food. And talk about how the van doesn't work. Goodbye. Bye. Got him. Got him. Got him at the end. You're gone. Are you screaming?

You just look like a Muppet. Hey, hey, are you on the ground writhing in pain and not knowing why? It's because you got got, idiot. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha