100% Eat - UNLIMITED QUESO?!? %% Chipotle High Protein Menu

Episode Date: January 6, 2026

Off to a HOT START this New Year, Our Heroes head back to Chipotle to try their... protein menu? What's different about this? It's just Chipotle, right? Whatever. We're busy watching Lazer Team (2015) on TUBI so don't bother us. Do bother Pasta Pete to get queso and side of bean. New year, new merch (for you) https://100percenteat.store Also grab an autograph from Our Heroes https://streamily.com/100-percent-eat Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to 100% Eat Nick's ass. The show where we try to read Fast Food Restaurant to let you know if you need it. You probably do. Wow. I'm your Ellis, Michael Jones. Alongside my coach, Jordan, swears, Jordan, how are you? What did Nick do to get in the cross air?

I just had to bring it back. I had to bring it back. The energy was all off. The energy was off. And also, Nick was going hard in the car. There was some hard Nick Eric. going on. We had fun. I had fun. I don't know if everyone

had fun. We had fun. I did. For the first time I ever saw he turned while driving and started swatting at the phone like this. I'll tell you where I did have fun though. Okay, we did go to Chipotle to try the protein format. That's just what it's called

Chipotle protein format. The fun I had is you went on this crazy stealing spree at Target. Yeah. And people were real excited about it. And then you were trying to tempt Nick into stealing a bottle of sauce

I thought it was just fine Right, and I think he was sitting there mulling it over like I'm like just taking it He's like I don't know I went you want me to steal it for you And went yes

So I just took it for him Yeah All right It's sauce He wanted it He just didn't want to take it I went okay Have you not stolen

The Tabasco from Chipoli before? He certainly has Almost every time I would go to Chipotle. They'll get another one. Also, if anyone comes from me, Nick made me do it. Yep, it's true. Yeah. Yep. Go after Nick. Actually, no, here's the thing.

It's fine that I stole, and it's fine that Michael stole. It is not fine that Nick stole. And that's where I draw the line for some reason. That is, and now... There's just something about him. I like him? Yeah. And now I'm going on hiatus. Speed running.

We're doing it. When are we making a movie? We got, we're watching it out there We're getting inspiration Can we just like MacoFam laser team on Tooby Yeah, I did Because we were choking the other day about

Like his laser team We're like no And then I looked up I was looking up Where you can watch Laser Team And fucking Tooby was the first result I was like no way So then I went right to Tooby

To make sure There it was There did I put it on today So we should just like take it And just change a couple scenes And then make that our movie Should we like leave me in it Yeah

And then just kind of like Add you guys Yeah Yeah, I mean, you can be the helmet one, obviously. Oh, no, no, I just mean, like, film new scenes and insert them in as new characters. Pivotal to the plot that the other characters never interact with. But I can't. I can bridge the gap.

I look exactly the same. Exactly the same. As I did. And I'll be like, hey, guys, the other guys are busy right now. It's me, Zach. I'm here. That's my name. I think we should focus more on, like, the football part of the story.

Oh, yeah. And it's just, you guys talk about football. And I'm like, I'm lost. I'm the quarterback. I'm no idea what's going. You'll do your classic roll the dice motion and then it cuts to all of us in the locker room. Nick with the monkey mask on.

You think he's the mascot? No, he's like a free safety. Yeah, he's out there. Laser night lights. Whoa, all right, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. This guy wasn't even working here yet. That blew my mind.

I mean, granted, it's from 2014. Yeah. So that's not surprising. Yeah, that's great. crazy. That's old, man. I haven't had the smoked Chipotle? No. You haven't right now. It's the best Tabasco. I broke the law

for you. I like Tabasco. Oh man, I wish you had dropped it and it broke. Hey, I stole it for him. What are they going to do? I'm a movie star. That's what I'm talking about. I say go to Tooby. Here it goes. Oh, yeah. That's what he's doing it. I need a fucking haircut. Yeah.

It's good. Smoky. Yeah, it's great. Oh, no way. It's real nice. Oh, it's smoked. That's why. It's hard to explain Nick. They're like, it's not like, it's not like, uh, there's multiple people in there. No.

It's the same guy. It's like, I feel like when you talk to Nick, though, it's like a 200-hour save in Fallout and you don't know what way. Yes. But what a great way to put it. What a great way to put it. You think you're talking to Nick at like 150 hours, but sometimes it's like 15 hours. And you're like, what the fuck are you talking about?

When I went back and played Sky Room for the first time in a year I was in the middle of a dungeon and I was like, what was I doing? Yeah, exactly. Right. What is this? What are you doing?

He just shows me and he goes, yeah, what are you doing? Somehow Nick is my companion. I was wearing the jacket I was wearing the jacket just so that I could fit my head. The thing with it too is that regulation podcast, the fans will be like,

oh yeah, Nick and he's like when they draw us or whatever, it's like Nick is like the monkey. And I can't stress enough that's not him. Nick is Nick on that show. Nick doesn't need to be. It's totally different.

They don't, they don't understand, like, yeah, they don't get it. It's crazy. Like, none of, like, our official stuff. That's technically our property. None of our official stuff is ever the monkey. You talk to the fans. They won't listen, but you talk to them. I'm just saying, hey, we do it, it's ours.

But we could, like. Game plays as close as I get. We can sell, like, the monkey mode is that. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's good. It says, right. It just says regulations, a picture of the monkey, and we sell a million of them.

Yeah. Yeah, and we get cut in. Yeah. Right. We could like loan it We could loan the IP We can keep them in the We can keep all the shirts

After the shirts get printed We can keep them in our shared space In the house With us a regulation Don't mix them up Yeah He's asleep Don't mix them up in the laundry

Yeah Oh yeah Oh I hate when that happened Yeah That's not drier Go in the dryer That's not drier That's not drier

So we're watching A laser team We're eating Chipotle All kinds of stuff happening today I mean we ate Chipotle And we had protein I guess you know Mission accomplished on that front

Yeah we got there And it was just like I don't know it was order whatever Dude there's no signage There's no nothing I think what I think the problem I guess probably with like Chipotle in general

If you just want to walk it This is my problem with Disneyland also Disneyland and Chipotle Very similar You can't On a whim Exist in this space and truly get the thing that you want

or do the thing that you want at Chipotle the restaurant or Disneyland the theme park. You have to have for some reason thought to download an app on your phone to activate a special thing that is available. You don't got Chipotle Magic Key?

Like, what the fuck? I thought that was the sauce bottle. How can we do Genie pass at the Chipotle? You're supposed to get your right. Yeah. Alicazam. You're supposed to get your reservations in 60 days in advance. So I think, exactly. So I think that

it's a thing where it's like, well, yeah, why didn't you just order it on the app? And it's like, because I'm a normal person who just walks into a restaurant. You're not normal anymore. App's normal now. Yeah, old. It's like... Old man, old. Old. But the thing are you old?

The thing with like, the thing with like a lot of these restaurants is, yeah, they want you to get the app and order through the app and all that stuff. It's really strange that there was no signage and they didn't know what the Fuck, we were talking about. The picture that was shared in the Slack. Yes.

The day before. Uh-huh. It's just a regular bowl. Yep. Um, I guess that's the taco. Uh-huh. And then just like a little small cup or bowl thing of just more meat. Yes.

And it's like Chipotle high protein menu. Yeah. And then it was, the conversation was, what does that mean? Uh-huh. And that's like mostly everything's there. Do you just get the side of meat? I don't know. Do you want to know what the, uh,

the cup of chicken one is? Sure. High protein cup of adobe chicken. 32 grams of protein, 180 calories. So what the options were? Four outside of adobe chicken packed with flavor and real protein. The perfect snack or extra side of protein

to add to any order. I have been seeing a bunch of TikToks and stuff. It's just a little side of more. Of people going, hey, I'm trying the high protein menu at Chipotle. I got the cup. like of chicken, and then it's a guy in his car going, all right, well, this is it.

It's a plastic, like, salsa cup with chicken. And he goes, okay, so this is it. And he takes off the lid and he goes, all right. So it's really dry. There's like no juice. It eats a piece of chicken. And he goes, I don't know what I thought it was. Exactly.

It's just, like, they scooped the chicken into the thing. This menu, to me, feels like them tricking people into going, Hey, you, hey, New Year's goal. Yeah. New Year's goal. Yeah. But it's also like an easy way for them to lean into the proteinification of everything. Yeah. Like when Pop-Tarts starts advertising

like, Pop-Tarts got protein. Right, but Chipoli doesn't need it. That's what they already fucking sell. Yeah. I don't understand. They just took what they already sell and went Yeah, they just slap a sticker on it. The hot cup bowl is the regular fucking bowl unless you don't get meat in it, I guess. When you start saying that 100% eat now has protein.

Oh, hell yeah. Oh, hell yeah. We're gonna start fucking coming to your house and shoving it down your throat. That's when you can say. That's when you can say. Camp it down your throat with a chimney brush. Which is fucking open up.

Nice. I used one. Or like a toilet scrubber. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That works too. Yeah. Probably easier to get one. We're gonna make you look like a fuggler or whatever.

Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah. Why you say it or whatever? Is that what it's called? That's a fuggler. It made me nervous saying it. I don't like saying it. Just so you know, if you slipped up,

the or whatever would not have saved you. It would have been like, You know what I said or whatever at the end. So, sure. I said a slur, but. Or whatever. I said or whatever. The qualification of or whatever saves me.

I forgot the Emmy today. Oh, cool. And it's like the same thing to me. Excellent. It's the same. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I feel like I'm more happy that we won that, you know.

Yeah. More happy we won the fun. We were awarded that. Yeah. Yeah. Did you shove it in Alfredo's face yet? I mentioned it. Nice.

picture. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't pretend to not to care, right? What a bitch. I mean, we didn't lose any credit cards over it. Not this time. Oh, oh, speaking of it. He's put in three credit cards trying to buy Fuggler. Oh, my God. Three different ones. Because he's like, it's not working. Or any of them ours? No, I don't think so. Again? I don't think so. But they're might be, there might be a $250

towards each charge. That's what I was going to bring up next. Scammed! Someone took a card. Don't cancel it though. Yeah. Yeah. Just leave it. This isn't me, but you should say it's us. Say it approve it anyway. It's Christmas. Even thieves. Yeah. You know, let them have it. That's I stole for Nick. This story of this thing. It's so funny to me. Speaking of Chris, uh, Nick, you didn't, you weren't aware that you weren't on the text chain. Chris texted

myself, Michael and Jordan on Christmas Eve. I think that's my favorite part of this. He said this was Christmas Eve. He cared. Unprompted, out of nowhere, simply wanted to inform us about a great

deal happening at Torchies. Hey, he's a real fucking homie. This is at 201 p.m. Hey, if you buy $250 worth of Torchie's gift cards then you get a queso gold card which is good for one queso a day for an

entire year, parenthetical, technically longer, PC, I've already started using it. I dK how much longer it will be available might end at Christmas if you want me to get one for you while I'm here I'm... That's how it ends.

And then he started eating more cheese. And then... I'm in the middle of eating it. He sent this picture, holding the card. He said, I'm pretty sure he made his girlfriend take. Oh, it's like,

she absolutely she wanted to take it. It's like, hey, it's Christmas Eve. Take my picture with my case of gold card. And she said, hell yeah.

Everything about this is amazing. Sounds like a good business decision. This is all good. Five minutes later. You have to purchase one thing to get the free Koso. He was selling us. But you can literally get the cheapest thing

on the menu, probably like a side of beans or an extra tomato. $7. $7. $0.90 cents times 370 days is $2,923.

It's close to $3,000. You're right. Plus, you can use the gift cards for the side of bean. Kids tacos are like $3. Side of beans. I don't know what the side of beans was really funny.

What he's talking about? I just wanted him to keep talking, you know. So that happened and now it's been a conversation of are we getting this past? The thing that really The thing that really fucks me up about this

Is that it's not like If it was like a Taco Pass card Taco is a food Sure And that to me makes sense Sure Casso But I get it

I get it If not a food to you Koso is a cheese It is a food to us Right But also chip dinner You like chip dinner I do

But you have to buy Side of Bean Right here But it's your favorite Casso Here's where I'm just I'm breaking from this man Here's where I'm breaking from this man immediately.

There's no convincing you. He's making it worse. You're not cheese people. You're not cheese people. He doesn't need to explain it to you. He would have to change it fundamentally. I will. Okay.

To make you understand. I will change you fundamentally. He's not going to eat a bowl of cheese. I will. He will. You won't. But you have bowl eater over here trying to get you on the team. It's not going to work.

I'll intro you on another level. The thing... You like Chip. The thing that really got us was Blaine had texted me and Jordan like a little while after that. And then I just texted back, hey, let us know when Chris wants to have a good morning from hell meeting at Torchies. And Blaine replied, troubling. He has no idea about the taco. Impossible, Chris didn't tell him immediately.

Do you think he was texting Blaine about it? He's going... Even if he didn't sell it to Blanche. There's no way he didn't go, hey, look what I did. He'll find out when he says it's my last day. So I had to, my parents came into town. I explained all this to my parents and they went, so he's just getting queso every day? And I went, and a kid's taco.

And then I had to explain. He didn't factor that in. I had to explain Olive Garden pasta pass. But then I also had to explain Chris as a person and his last day. And my dad was sitting on the couch like this. I was making that face through Yeah, then did you tell him how it went? Oh, you brought friends.

Yeah, uh-huh, I did. Right. Oh, you got friends in this time. My dad just went, oh my God. I went, don't worry. This is the guy who ran around the company, like just ran. I got places to be.

Well, Chris run. Yeah, uh-huh, yeah. Yeah, Chris run. The, like, perfect straight, like posture and like the legs are kind of moving, but the top half isn't. Yep. It was like a brisk job.

To me, anywhere, it's no matter, he was like, late or not, he just would be like, well, I want to move, I just want to move faster. He was walking, and he would just, like, scuttle down the hallway. It's like a Seinfeld character. Yes, very much so. It's like the slowest Naruto run you could do. It's like he didn't want to commit to it.

If he would have put his arms backward, he would have been there even faster, but he wouldn't do it. So, you know, the other thing? What's that? He always does, too, since, like, the day I met him. Is it when he's, especially when he's thinking? Yeah. there's no good shot of it

he'll just slowly just do this oh yeah yes yeah yeah he'll like stretched out big stretch but he always the arms and then the move the back but like lean back

torso and like that's all for this is like a normal talking sense yeah legs are like you can't he is so

wide leg it's a wide base bone out and everyone else is just standing and talking and there's just crick Always done that.

It's the best. We should do a Michael Jordan podcast with him at Torchies. We got to go, yeah. We should do 370 of them. One every day. I started telling you, we all get one. I started telling Chris. You can save almost $12,000.

Yeah, exactly. Think about that. It only costs us $1,000. Go to patreon.com slash 100% eat. Sign up now. Sign up for our peso gold card. I think tomorrow's the last day we can do it. It is, yeah.

It doesn't on news. You gotta fucking hurry. I just started telling him, can you film yourself every time you go? Oh, my God. And then also, can you dress up as the Joker?

Oh, my God. So that's, uh... Yeah, but if I was the mocker, Chris would be the cocker. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I don't know if I like... Oh, my cheese!

It's just like, let's put a smile on my face. What's in this case? Dude, I say, you guys a picture when we were watching Dark Night the other day I was FaceTime in Luna oh yeah and I was like hey I'm watching Batman and I put it on she disappears

comes back like a minute later and has the fucking Joker smile on her face I was like uh yeah what she just took a bunch of blueberries and she kept going crazy she's your kid truly I really do like these stories of like the new ways she's like expressing yes great because they're like real humans now too

I always got something funny to tell yeah dude I said that teeth Picture Iris made. Dude, I was not a fan of that. Yeah, I know. That's how good it. She took like this crazy, like smile and like fucked with it, but then put it as her eyes too. Like one of those filters. Yeah, it just looks like a like a Japanese horror movie type monster.

When's the game coming out? Yeah. Yeah. A new president evil villain. Yep. It's a new Frankenstein. They've been drawing on the whiteboard downstairs. Yeah.

If you go back to 100% treat, you can see it. It's good stuff. You can tell which one's the eight year old and which one's a six year old. on the drawings. Yep. Well, I know you guys are... Which one is Chris? I know you guys are protein fiends.

You guys go to Chipotle a lot or now? I'd go a fair amount now, actually. I've been... I was never really on the Chipotle train until, honestly, like... It's not like I hadn't been there before, but like Joe in old time. Yeah.

Because he was like, I'm saying... You talk about that a lot. Yeah, dude. We talk about it all lot Achievement Hunter and Dog Bar. He's just like... And now we talk about it. I know. I can only go to... I can only go to...

It's like, okay, whatever, man. So I started going there more frequently. Whatever. It was just not even worth it. So I'd say my rotation now. I do like that. I can just order it all online. I run in.

I pick up the bowl. It's convenient the bowl, like for travel and for eating later. You don't know, you're going to eat a little bit and then just cover it back up. I don't even like put it in the refrigerator. I'll just like snack on it. So I'd probably go there a couple times a month. Their casso is fucking disgusting. Oh, is it?

It sucks. It sucks. It's awful. Like all their food's good. I really only ever get the steak. Good chips. Their chips are good. The casso's dog show.

It's crazy. The ratio. It's the only thing upsetting. It's the only thing upsetting. It's upsetting. It sucks. If you could do their chips. If it was just like a Torchis,

that's why you just got. Torchis is just right down the street. You get a bag of their chips and you can head right over to Torchies. Yeah. MJ podcast. Not a bad idea. Every day. Every day forever.

Every day. day. I order side of bean. Would you like some chips with your case? So I brought my own. I live here. They're going to get to know him. They're going to know him by name. Yeah.

I appreciate Chris doing it. It's he's, he's on it. That's where I felt like we got all the content. Yeah. Like we didn't need the card. See, again, I get you like him. I want the goddamn cheese.

I want the cheese and the content. You guys just need the content. How much cheese? I'm not trying to convince you he is. Right. Yeah. Jordan, don't you want to eat a cup of cheese? Think about it. Anyway, anyway, he's going to shoot you a side eye look again

and it's going to be over. Oh, I see it. Only Eric is it. It's not even just the side eyes. It's when he'll just be like, it's the actual like head turn. That's the best. This is what they don't get at regulation. They don't get real. Nick. This is Nick

broken out. Yeah. Yeah. Nick unleashed. Free. Yeah. And I'm gonna fill him up with cheese. Yeah. Are you gonna get- How many days do you, do we need you to go to break even? Oh, I don't know. Well, if you buy $250 on that card, we can make that word. Yeah. Yeah. 100%

we eat. But I just want to, like, the goal of the Taco Pass was to break even. It's right. And now you have a year to do it. Right. So how many times and also breaking even? Would be what, the $250? Because I don't even know, how do you scale it? Yeah, because it's also the side you have to get every time.

Oh, it's true. So do you want to round it up to do you guys figure it out? Chris said it was $7.00. Yeah. So Chris said it's $7.90. So let's say we can round it down. What do you want to do? Don't round up.

So you want to do $250. Okay. Divide by seven. You have to go 35 times, almost 36 times. Okay. To make that work. But I think you'd have to go up to 40 or 45 in order for sight of bean to like really break even money wise. Right. So that's like maybe three times a month. Uh-huh. But also, unlike the tucco pass, you're not buying it. Uh-huh. Getting the gift cards you can use. Mm-hmm.

So you're not spending $250. This is also true. You know what I mean? You're just, you're just transferring it. God, I just imagine. I'm sure this is how Chris did it. I guarantee you it. Where he's like, it's free. It's free. It's free. is what it is. $250 gift card, please. Thank you. I'd like to use it now.

Yeah, 100%. Also, I have this. Yeah, 100%. He is using his gift card every time to get side of bean and his pre-chees until the 250 runs out because then you're only then you're spending money. Right. And you're not going to spend the $250 on just the bean. No, Chris will make that last.

You're going to have so much money left over. Right. Right. Chris will make that less forever. If I did that and had $250, that'd be. That'd be like seven trips. Because it's a bunch of drinks and stuff. Yeah.

Well, or it's like I never get tacos for myself. It's like buying for people and they're expensive tacos. Like I'm spending 30, 40 bucks easy. So like say you go one time in a month, you're like, I'll just go four times next month. Yeah. You know, make up for it.

Every weekend. You're selling me. You were already sold. He's not selling you. I'm not to sell you. I'm over here talking to you guys. Hey, hey,

welcome to the card dealership. Hey, would you like to, would you like to test all this guy? I'll take it right. You son of a bitch right here! I have to clear with my wife, but now I don't care. Oh, okay.

Well, it wouldn't matter if the company paid for it. Right. Is that now what you thought was going on? That was the whole point. Why would we need to sell them if we're spending your own money? Oh shit, the company can pay for it? Are you fucking serious? I want Eric to do it.

Whoa. You're gonna kill him. You are gonna kill her. Or he's... He's going to kill you. No, he's going to kill him or he's going to kill him. It's going to be one and the other. It's like a real eating.

You will either be the death of him or you will be the cause of death. It was like a, you said the company pays for it. It was like a revelation. We're 25 minutes into this and it's not the first time we've talked about this today. I mean, we've been talking about it since Christmas Eve. Because I looped Nick in. Oh, did you? Did you?

Yeah, when I put it on the same. Black or did I do that? You started texting us about it. It was because Nick was left out. That's why. I kind of wanted to see Nick's genuine like, what are we talking about? Yeah. I don't get in on this.

Okay. Oh, he was on top of it immediately. Caso card, eh? Tell me more. Yeah, I thought, I thought there's no way that Nick can't be told about this news. I also 100% thought that Chris was there on Christmas Eve and was like, oh shit. Yeah. Christmas presents.

Can I get a bunch of gift cards? And then they're like, here's your Casso card. Yeah, if you spent, I mean, sir, if you just spend another $30, you'll get free Caso for a year. I will. I don't know, guys. I think you're not giving him Chris enough credit. I think he knew exactly what he was doing there that day.

When he walked in the door, he's got a nose for these. Chris is sewn in on that stuff. He's locked in on these. Oh, yeah. If there's a money deal. There's a way you can get free food. He absolutely took that gift card and went, put it in his pocket. Can you make it out to me?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like a Chris getting after a buck. Would you like an envelope? sir? No, no. Oh, man. Going right in my wallet.

Yeah. All right. You guys want to learn about Chipotle? Yeah, might as well. Let's do it. As long as we have facts

about the menu and what they're doing. Uh-huh. Watch the ride-along when Nick grills there. And these swats at the phone. That's very funny. Our last Chipotle episode was on May 25th, 20201, where we ate the 21 pilot's burrito. He received an average rating of 72. I think it got such a high score

because it was just regular Chipotle food and also I think that's the last time I had Chipotle. Yeah, there you know. It's when you got your shirt? That's so weird. And it was just regular Chipotle food that time? Who would have thought? Damn, how the years have changed yeah, right? Not much of change in four and a half years ago. God damn they've changed, maybe not positively. I can't believe just thinking about that

like just we've done like a million like bits with this show just like shows and travel and this and that and whatever but like that 21 pilot shirt does not seem like near the beginning to me but it's so yeah 21 yeah that's so near the beginning isn't wild

I don't like thinking about how we've been doing the show for six years I do I like it feels like it's too long it gives us it is wait until it keeps going yeah

it gives us like tenure that we've given ourselves yeah when one of us gets like a health condition and we can't eat fast food anymore

what are we gonna are we gonna change the show I'm gonna live forever Was he even funnier that he kind of mumbled Yeah, right? When Nick kills Eric We have to change the show Yeah, I mean

75% eat That's pretty good I'm gonna look forever I don't know what you're talking about I'm gonna live off cheese And side of bean What are you guys know my side of bean Oh man

Are we ready? Yeah, I guess we can move on. With people mocking slot bowls And their premium appeal evaporating Chipotle has seen their stock drop 37% in 2025 Which is almost 50% of its all-time high We just called our stockbroker

It's the monkey and he said now is the time to get in on this Buy low, buy high That's the wolf of monkey That's what the Wolf of Monkey Street says. Why isn't he the monkey of Wall Street? Honestly, whenever we ask, he quotes the movie and we like it so much, we get distracted.

Say your favorite line. All right, all right, all right. Different movie. All right. Come on. It forgot. I mean, he's in it for like a second. I thought you were just going to start doing that.

I punched the microphone. Thanks, Gracie style. I'm not touching the microphone. I'm only playing with the corner. I'm just touching the arm of the. microphone. I'd apologize, but I'm going to do it again. No, she didn't say I would apologize. She said, I

would promise not to do it again, but I know I will. Then she apologized. Incredible. She knows. No, she doesn't. Chipotle has emerged victorious from a lawsuit claiming that it lied to investors about shrinking its portion sizes to cut ingredient costs.

A federal judge in California found there was no evidence the fact the fast casual chains executives had lied to shareholders about its portions despite much quote unquote viral criticism this is actually great news for us known liars but not great news for you the fans aka investors 2026 is set to be a great year for 100% eat as we regrow new achievement under to its once great position we will be rehiring all of your faves brown man white man whoever this is our guarantee to you and the judge said we're allowed to lie all we want so we're bringing back playbiles too it's all on patreon there's a little

Money bag emojis So hey subscribe now if you want to see it You could at least put them in color And make them easier to see The black and white printer You think? Yeah I think we can afford that I think we probably do

I wonder why it prints in black I never thought about that Why is it printing black and white? Well usually when you print it says You could be the default Yeah, it could be bullshit you've never wondered about that Hey my promise

My promise to you is that it will be in color I'm not an investor Yeah we'll see about that. He's a stakeholder, like, holding some steak. Oh, he's holding some steak. We held it earlier, he's holding his tummy. Yeah, exactly.

And I'm holding it in my tumble. I will say the slop bowls thing from the other fact. Boy, do they turn into slot bowls fast? The second, you mix it. Yeah. They're our taste. They look disgusting. It looks vile.

Michael's bowl looked crazy, though. Only yours to yourself looks appetizing. Yes, I agree. We all essentially had the same food. It's because you're being reassured as you bite it. Right. That it is appetizing. And I know it's like, wow, this looks bad, but I'm eating it and I'm enjoying mine.

Yeah. But then I look at like Eric's. But he's got a bowl of shit over there. Never eat bad. Michaels was very confusing. As all you can see was lettuce with cheese on top. A very sensible salad. Yeah.

It looked like he went to Chipotle and got the weirdest thing you can get. And that's the lettuce. The cheese was sitting like that because she didn't put enough on. So after she put the lettuce on, I was like, okay, now back to the cheese. Yeah. Then there was sandwich. There was a ton of cheese under that. that too. But yeah, because they don't

mix it, which is fine. They're going down the line. They just go pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Yeah, I do want the 5x Gs. I stopped. And that's why he's president. You can't shake it in the thing. You can, but also, there's really no point. You just sort of go like this. But before you do that, it just looks like whatever topping they put on last. But once you mix it,

it looks like vomit. It looks like food for a dog. It's dude, probably the most impressive advertising is making those bowls look because that's why usually why it's like, hey, get a bowl. Here's all the ingredients that go in the bowl. We're not going to mix them in the picture because it looks terrible. Yeah.

Do you eat with your eyes? Thanks man. Is that banana? Yeah, that's the one that we got. Banana to the max. In April of last year, a 33-year-old Detroit man was arrested for shooting a Southfield Chipotle employee in a quote, guacamole dispute. I love that. Nick whispered protein. Prosecutors say Aaron Brown got into an altercation

with an employee who was escorted to the back, then Brown went around the corner to serve his own food only to shoot another employee in the knee when they tried to stop him. Brown left the store, then walked back in it and grabbed his food that he forgot. Then left and got arrested minutes later because the

Chipoli was across the street from the police station. He was sent to one to ten years in prison sauce mug. He says, this guy will be out in one. That just kept going. Yeah, did. I was like, boy, the story's crazy. I was saying it before I was processing it. And so I'm just trying to, like, sometimes I'm reading a word

and I fumble. It's not because of the word. It's I'm, because I'm thinking about five words back and going, what the fuck? What did I just read? It's all on video. Whoa. It's, it's, it's, it's to be? Dude, him go. He should watch it after laser team. They show him, get into this fight and then go around the counter. Is it like a physical like, they're like, he's like, he's like yelling and like get in somebody's face and like another employee grabs that employee and like takes him to the back. Sure. And then this guy's like, fuck this. And he goes around the counter and starts going. Okay.

Okay. And then gets in this fight with this person. Fucking shoots him in the leg. It's like, fuck I got to get out of here. I'm still reading it as you're telling the story. Viceroyal. Walks out. And then goes,

I'm hungry. And then was it a burrito or a bowl? I think it's a bowl. Grabbs his food and then leaves. And then there's video of him on the crowd. Cut too. And it was like, over the guacam that is what they kept saying in the article

guacamole dispute awesome monkey burger is going to go back in time oh absolutely and help him he's gonna yeah he'll help me then he's got monkey burger will monkey burger will shoot the other employee monkey burger was is going to grab his sword and then unsheet that and re-sheet that really fast so it just got and then and then you'll see a chaplain employee standing there and then half of them comes off yeah You just got to make that click. Yep. That one particular piece of art, I think you posted it.

Like, you shared it. Yeah. That was fucking sick. The monkey burger, like, fucking Neo monkey burger. I don't know who made that. That was way too cool. Yeah. It was like way too good.

The Discord went crazy. There were so many good ones. Jordan went and like pinned them all, so it's easy to find. Yeah. But you can go to the Discord. It's actually a normal thing. It's actually annoying. Our Discord is so robust and people are active.

It's hard to find stuff. It is. It makes me mad because I'm like, God damn, you guys talk too much. You guys will talk a lot of a thing. I'll go to check the Discord and it's barely. Yeah,

because it's actually active. When something good happens, people are like going. It's hard for me to find specific stuff because there's so much stuff. So the Neo one was done by Skelly. And this is what I really liked because he's got a, he's got like a big old gun. A million belts.

Yeah. Which is like a must-ass. He's got the horns. He's got a gun. And he's also like charging. Leathery-ass batwings. Charging like an energy blast. And then it's Popper Burger on the ground.

I showed that one to my wife. It says my family now. Yeah, yeah. I showed that one to my wife. And she just went, what's Papa Burger? My favorite one I think was triggers, which was they really leaned into the deviant art aspect. Oh, yeah. Where it looks like you would doodle on your notebook.

With the amount of skill that you would be doodling in your notebook And there's so many notes Where it's like Fez like Doctor Who Oh really? Yeah It's so good One horn is broken like these are the And then it says It's like the comic book style

With the hands are like poorly drawn and says sorry I can't draw hands with the little Blue balls in me There you go That absolutely belongs on a notebook Right yeah I was having a conversation It says wings two fly I was having a conversation with a friend

and I went back and had to find the Osama Ben Laden loves achievement on her stuff to find the one where he says moot-boom He's holding on The Osama may have been One of the greatest fuck-ups That just

Spawned so far But just for Eric Like so far Like what are you talking about? You were off by like a decade Like you're usually on top of this it's not a typo in the fact sheet it's not oops I left last week's on

when did you think he died what the fuck are you talking about it was so far off it was crazy and it was not even that it was like I'm pretty sure you still lived in New Jersey when something died like Achievement under I don't know what year was it was a good year old or something right when he died and like when did he get killed

2011 2010 2010 something like a You want to start in 2008. It was brand new. He's like, remember when you guys... I was definitely still living in Gal-Mia. What are you? It all makes sense to me.

Osama loved that shit. That was another one of the days. I'm reading the facts. I'm just saying. I'm going, what is... I can't wait to watch this. And again, I didn't know off the top of my head when Osama bin Laden was killed.

I knew I didn't live here. I knew when we started let's play. And I'm going, he loves football. He wanted to send some football. stuff to Awu. You should have recorded in Alu. It was awesome.

Oh, man. I feel like the Osama memes wouldn't have gotten enough of a rocket boost at the beginning if it had been so, what the fuck are you talking about? It's pretty good. Well, we stopped to learn about Chipoli.

There's one more fact. Yeah, no, there's one more fact. In January of this year, barely. This year, December, 20, 25. Yeah, it's December. fucking third door about it. Yeah, we know. I'm thinking about when this comes out.

Yeah, this comes out, yeah. See, those are the classic fuck-ups. Right. It's not, I know, so what did this happen? Two days ago? It's not about her summer. It's about New York. Uh.

I have to tell you something. Yeah. In January of this year, New York, Gia Bernhardt claimed a door dacher delivered her a Chipotle burrito bowl that contained a, quote, rodent that she bit into. Oh. Chipotle said it was not a rodent, but chicken tendon. Come to Chipotle where you can eat rat or chicken parts you're not

supposed to. It's protein idiot. Keep bitching about your protein size and you're eating more rats. A whole bowl of rats for you and you'll say thank you, rat eating bitch. It's wonder if Gracie were here that would be her stem

after rat eating bitch. Can eat some rats, rat bitch? Eat more rats ho. I'm more rats ho. called someone a ho. 206, bring the back, baby. Ironically, but when it's last someone, someone wrote

hope? Like saying it in text to something. It's right there like, bitch-ass ho. It's like, Ho, Ho. Emore rats, comma, ho. Dude, again, I watched back to back the Gracie

P. of Chang's and then the SpongeBob. And it was so funny because I did the ya, yeah, yeah. The P.F. Chang's and she lost it. She loved it again. I literally just said it. I went, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she lost it again.

And she went, you have to do it for me. I'm pretty sure I did it in the Michael Jordan podcast. But I'm just like, dude, that was like, it was like a month in between it. She loves it. And I just said it. She loves what she loves. She was like, she makes those like kid.

She goes, he, he, he. And it's real. It's real. Also, the scream when you put the toys on the table. Oh, my God. Incredible stuff. She's captivated. That is my favorite, like, Gracie moment

where she just loses it. She goes, oh, yeah. It's real. It's like if you see a guy who sees a good sports play and gets pumped up for that, Gracie sees a toy. She's like, let's go.

It's so genuine. Yeah. And she'll either yell a curse or she'll actually like girl scream. Yeah. She girl screaming for the SpongeBob. Yeah. She did like a, my favorite one is the

the Pente Express Serious. Oh, yeah. No, screaming about the Panda Express cereal. Jesus Christ. Oh my God, yeah. I missed it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I walked in and you're right. I missed the screen. You immediately showed it to me, like moments after it happened. Incredible. Did you guys learn a lot about Chipotle? I kind of did. Yeah! Because it's been five years since we were there.

New Year, New Eric. That's right. You're learning all kinds of facts, Rodin. Bitch. New Year, New Eric. He's gonna be a cheese eating guy. year when Nick sells you on getting that he just found out where we might pay for why was he selling you on it it's not might we're doing it it's not money or it's not

it's not might it's not there's no nothing might about it he's leaving in the middle of the episode to make sure he goes against it my might was the company spending I'm not so committed to make everyone pay for it I will be getting one it just might be on my own And I understand Again, I understand we have the bit We have we do have Chris I want the gun damn cheese Yeah

It'll make Here's a thing too Which I actually kind of like Unlike Taco Bell Which I'm fine with I actually kind of like Myself being like Well I really should go to Torchise

Yeah that is like Torchise That's what it will do Like I don't go there often enough In 2026 It will make us do more Michael Jordan Podcasts at Torchise Because we'll get the cheese We'll get a lot more beans

I guess Side of Bean Side of Bean Side of Bean Margarita Just one bean please I'll have a... Do they have beaneritas?

Can I get a bean reedos? And are they the same price as the bean? I have done the math. I'll have a beanerita and can I have a shaken mingas? Not stirred. Jordan, do you want to teach us about the food? Yeah.

Okay. But, uh... We'll all learn. Who's here to complain about the piece of paper? Nick? You're filling in for Gracie. She hates... Throw it out.

There you go. double you're 42 minutes in a double high protein bowl 81 grams protein 11 grams fiber 760 calories

is a pretty good ratio a high protein burrito bowl featuring double adobe chicken light white rice black beans

feta veggies fresh tomato salsa Monterey jack cheese and extra romaine lettuce wow what a sensible meal okay is that what we got

yeah that's no That's so much fucking protein 81 is good 81's insane Yeah and only 760 calories For 81 grams of protein It'd be cool if you could walk in and order that Yeah right

I mean exactly If I had known that was an option I guess I could have made this Uh huh Yeah we knew nothing And that's why Nick yelled at it That's right To be fair neither did the lady

Yeah she had no idea I know He said it I said it too Yes I said it Bowl we all said Can I have the high protein bowl And she just went

bowl? Ball? I think that's when Eric went, it's whatever, man. Yeah, we're fine. Yeah, we're fine. Yeah, and that's when Nick went. This guy fucked up.

I hate this guy. I'm going to kill him. How come you didn't know? You wrote it down. High protein, high fiber ball. There are options. This one's 46 grams of protein, 14 grams of fiber.

That's only three more. 540 calories. A GLP1 friendly bowl. Yep. Feathing adobee chicken, light brown rice, black beans, fajita veggies,

roasted chili corn salsa, fresh tomato salsa, and romayne lettuce. These are all things they have already. Yes. And they're just like telling you that you can make these? Yeah, you can just do it. Oh. Oh, hello. Who would like a next brusky?

We have Loon Ranger, but if you want a lighter one. Oh. Love Street Blonde. Going on easy route. Well, I thought we'd get ready for the Michael Jordan Pond. So we all kind of got GLP one friendly bowls. Yeah, that's what I was. I'm sure there was, I'm sure there was just.

as much protein in the fucking in the cardiacsata. What do you need to be aware of when you're on a GLP 1 as far as like... Probably how much you eat? What is he saying? What, yeah, GL1. What makes it GL1 friendly? I don't know what that is. You know, fiber. It's like the... It's probably fiber.

The injections that everyone's on... For diabetes. People are doing injections that I'm missing out on? Yeah. You don't need these ones. No, you don't. You don't need these ones. Really? Yeah. Oh. Okay. Hi. Stop your appetite. Oh.

And diabetes, if you have it. Yeah. I want both. High protein, low calorie salad, 36 grams of protein, 10 grams of fiber, 470 calories. A GLP1 friendly salad featuring adobe chicken, super greens mix, fajita veggies, fresh tomato salsa, and guac. Gwak. That's got to be like half the protein right there. Yeah.

In the guan. All that guac. I guess low calories, GLP one friendly? It's GLP one friendly because it's got... Less protein? It's GOP friendly like you? Yep, I'm GOP friendly. It's up there on the monkey.

It was downstairs because I grabbed it at some point a couple days ago because I was going to do something funny with it and I just never got around to it. So it's been in my car and I was like, I got to get this out of my car. Like I looked at it and I was like, oh, like you open your trunk, boom, red hat, white lettering. I was like, I need to take this out of my car. All right, slog and continue to slog through here.

Double high protein burrito, 79 grams of protein, 6 grams of fiber, 840 calories, high-protein burrito featuring double a dobo chicken fresh tomato sauce, fajita, veggies, Monterey, deck cheese, and romaine lettuce. High-protein cup with the dobo chicken. I read that one earlier. Eric already read this one. It's 180 calories

and it's the perfect snack or extra side of protein. It's just a cup of the chicken. That's what I thought the whole thing was. Yeah. Yeah. It's there. Every, every, every, let me do it. This is just what they already make. Every meat is 21 has good protein. If you want more, you get double.

This is 21 grams of protein pile. Yeah. It's the same thing. That is... None of this is a thing. It's just the food that they have. If you order all this shit that we sell already, you'll get this thing.

But they don't even offer the thing as a thing. You're telling me if I went up to that lady. And I said, can I get high protein, low calorie salad? Yeah. It's she, no idea. Yeah. Should you be like salad? Right.

Ball? Ball? Ball. Ball? Ball? Ball. Listen. Listen

Chipotle is trying to trick the people Well it's like And I realize this too There is no single menu item of anything At Chipotle that you order It goes down the line And it has several multiple different People make it

You choose your vessel and then you choose your things Even if you are like Oh I'll have the whatever They're only that one station Yeah and then you go to like the cheese We would have needed this paper And been like I would like This is all useless

I want the GOP friendly salad You just go You just go You just go out of what you want Give me double a double chicken. Look at Nick's concerned face. Are they presets in the app or like online? I think it's on the, on the app or whatever.

It's like a preset thing. Very shit in the store, though. Nope. Yeah. You want fucking bowl or not is what the woman. Ball? Right. If you say any other words, there's going to be a problem.

High protein? Shut up. Shut up. High protein bowl? Bowl? Yep. And I went, yep. I just thought I looked at Jordan like, you're on your own.

Yep. Basically what happened. They go. Jordan hitters to the press material. For years, guests have used Chipotle's customizable offerings to build high protein and fiber-filled meals of their own, said Chris Brandt, President, Chief Brand Officer. Chief Brand Officer. Yeah. How appropriate.

His name is almost Chief Brain. Yeah, that is crazy. His name is Chris Braint. Dude, just change your name. Drop the T, dude. I'm Chris Brandt officer. This curated menu brings that fan behavior. It's curated by the customer.

To the forefront with clean ingredients and flexible portions, making protein and other dietary goals easier to reach. Oh, brother. Dude, hey, you've been to Chipoli? They got a sick customizable offering. Yeah. I really enjoyed yesterday. They're mimicking my behavior.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole thing is that I don't, like, I just don't think Chipotle's been losing, losing, losing, losing, like a lot of traction and them just going guys were high protein and it's like so what is it cup of chicken

how do I get it just go up and say high protein bowl they'll repeat the last word you said yeah bowl uh yeah well we have our review

of Chipotle but we need to hear from you first in a segment we call you review this ought to be interesting hey hey this one's interesting and I feel like

and like myself included because I know what I got it I know what I got into because Chipotle is kind of one of those, like, brand places. There's, like, a specific type of people that go to Chipotle. And I knew of this before I started going, and I realized in some way I am that people now,

but at least I'm aware of it. I'm just, I mean, just feel like, oh, what are the Chipotle people's reviews going to be like? Because they're not like McDonald's people, usually. Okay. Who wants to take the first one? I think Michael should take this first one. I agree. Okay. All right.

This is from Xavier M. I assume it's Xavier. or Ex-Zavier. Do you pronounce the X? I don't know. Sometimes. Sometimes. I'll just say Xavier then. Fuck it. Their name's not going to come up. It doesn't matter. Lady tried to make another employee remake my meal after

I said, have protein, have another protein. She asked the other co-worker to remake my order as she's trying to charge me for two proteins and had a smile on her face. Would not recommend going to this Chipotle. I think they need a retraining on what is half and half

protein. Oh, he knows that. But I said that it was fine because the other employee looked like she didn't want to make it and she didn't know why the cashier was saying that she put too much as she per, too much as per she literally put half proteins on another half of protein. And the cashier said, okay, it's fine with a big smile on her face sarcastically. She said, oh well, I thought that it was not fine and wanted to charge me for two whole proteins. Do not recommend going around this hour, which is 6-5-4, which was 10 minutes ago and having to deal with this incompetent lady. PSA, I'm drunk ASF, but telling the truth about all of this. I'm drunk, but I'm telling the truth. Okay. Okay.

And there was at one point where I thought I was repeating myself when I realized I was, but it's because Xavier was. It makes perfect sense. I'll be honest. Him being drunk as fuck at the end actually like saves it. I totally agree. Without that line, you're just like, what is this? Are you okay, dude? Also, just for the love of fuck, say chicken.

Right. What are you talking? When you keep saying half protein, half protein, I know you know they're two different things. We don't know they're two different things. I wanted half protein on one side, but half protein on the other side. What the fuck are you talking about?

And sometimes he wanted half protein and another half protein. He wanted to have protein. I want half protein. Half fucking chicken and half steak, you motherfucker. Not two of each. Unless it was just a fuck ton of guac. What do you mean? Chipotle doesn't want to put a definition of protein.

Neither does this guy. Stop smiling at me. Stop fucking smiling. It's not fine. I think... That was crazy. I think that maybe at the beginning of this, there was a misunderstanding. And then at the end, when the lady was...

trying to explain to him, he was not understanding. Because he's drunk as fuck. And this happened 10 minutes ago. 10 minutes before, 654. Which is 654, which was 10 minutes ago and having to deal with this incompetent lady. PSA, I'm drunk as fuck. But telling the truth about all of this. I'm telling the truth.

Also, he meant PS. You are absolutely right. PSA is a public service. He absolutely. PSA. What more thing? That didn't even click with me. He meant PS.

He was doing post scripts. I thought it was a PSA for everyone. It could be sensibly that. Just so the public knows, I'm drunk as fuck. Oh, yeah, right? Like, that was the PSA. PSA was the beginning part. I'm drunk as fuck and the children's hospitals right across the street.

Oh, man. Well, that's Xavier, but who's the next one? Here's Guillermo J. Says, ordered my food online so I wouldn't have to wait inside. I pulled up to pick up window early. Had to wait for the guy to accidentally open the

automatic drive trough window for him to even address me as I waited. Then told me I was quote a little early so you're going to have to wait in quote, what am I waiting for? A bowl takes less than a minute to make a bowl, especially when you know the ingredients going on it

already, made sit in drive trough line. Then as other cars pulled up told me to spin back around the store so they could attend the people who were there to pick up bruh, my online order wasn't even completed on time

either. Seriously, what was the point of even ordering online to skip the way? Well, the point is you show up the time you're supposed to. He ordered online. Then he showed up early and then they said, hey, you're early. What's the problem? And he's going, but I'm in the drive trough. Right. I'm in

the trough. Right. What did he think he was in the parking lot. Well, I'm here. It just takes a minute. It's like, right, but there's other people. There's a queue. Like, there's a queue. When you've ordered it online, I'm the only one.

They've slotted you into a queue. But I'm the only one here. You kind of agreed to that before you got here. If you wanted it when you got it, you're just order it when you get here. Don't show up early and say make my food. Exactly. That's crazy. Yep. That's crazy. You have a time slot. Hey, guess what? They're probably not going to be on time.

Nope. It's a restaurant. Don't knowingly show up way before your own. order time and expect to get you out early because you're early. Those people are NPCs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not me, the main character, Guillermo J. Oh, the main character of the Guillermo J show. Yeah, focus, him.

This is a, this is a... Brough, brough. Also, again, like, I'm stuck in the drive, so you also are going to walk the fuck inside the store. Yeah, like, I don't know. Like, what, exactly. Everything about this is like, I think that he ordered it down the street

and then went, I'll be there in two minutes. They'll just probably have it ready. And it's like, that's not how this works. They're going to start making it immediately. Right. No, they're not. Obviously. They're going to make it as close to the time as possible

because they have eight million other orders before yours. His calling it the drive trough window. And then the drive trough. Drive through feeding trough? Pretty, oh, slop it down. That's pretty good. Yeah, just like bring your own funnel. Yeah.

You make that work. bring your own funnel. You got to address in your, like, plastic the whole car and then throw the food in. Jordan, I think there's something we can work with that. Jordan, I think you should read the last one to make it for the first one. What is this name? What do you mean? Cheeriering.

Yeah. C-H-C-H-I-N-G. Yeah. Okay. C-H-I-R-R-I-N-G. Wow. This is the worst Chipotle I ever eat. Long line and they don't care.

customer and the food common I have paid 12 and they just may they put just may be seven spoons food be aware guys you have to

other place to eat I'm so guys is his brain broken me is me brain not work are you guys talking about you hearing I'm going to

much hearing? I'm going to give this another try. Okay, all right, here we go. It's not going to be much better. What do you mean? All right, here you go. Wow, this is the worst Chipotle I ever eat. Long line and they don't care customer and the food. Come on. I.F. paid 12, and they put just maybe seven spoons food.

Be aware, guys, you have other place to eat. Be seven, maybe seven spoon food is great, but it's also May, capitalize, like the month, space, B.E. Seven spoons, one word. Seven, seven new

Semeral spoons. Seven spoons sounds like a good restaurant. Hey, you want to go seven spoons? I'll go to seven spoons. Yeah. They got food. We'll get the casso card. It's crazy all over the place. The long line and they don't care. Customer in the food. Come on. I have paid 12.

I paid 12. 12 what? Maybe. Maybe Chaharing is trying to activate like a slipper cell. I don't think Chehering spelled their name right either. I really don't know. I really, because it's like, I don't know. Ignorant white guy, you know, like, your name's silly. But I'm really like, did they, is that a name?

It really kind of, the rest of the, the rest of the review starts casting doubt for me. Right. It's the same thing. I was saying the same thing. They misspelled this. What's the problem? Maybe seven spoon's food. His name's Chris. Yeah.

Chris Brant. It's not. Holy moly. I felt like you. I had to stop so many times. At the beginning of this, when I. had to pull these reviews. I went, well, these are Chipotle people.

I don't know that they're going to be like nuts. And I just went, these are the craziest reviews I've ever pulled. These are insane. PSA, I'm drunk as far as. The more you know. This guy's drunk. By the way, the hour is 654. Well, that's your review of Chipotle, but we have our review of Chipotle.

I got to be cooking a little bit. Yeah, right? Good thing I have this delicious food arranger. Jordan? What do you think? Was this for Nick? No, he got one. Because I threw the box away.

Yeah, I see. Jordan, what do you think? What's your review? I'm good right now. On Chipotle the first time in five years again or whatever. Two o'clock. Yeah, this is the first time I had the Carnay Asada, which wasn't in any of these ones that they mentioned. They were, I think all chicken or mostly chicken.

They really hammered all the chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, adobe chicken. This is the first time I had the carnage asada. Pretty good. I see like ads for it coming back and it's a limit of time option I guess. A long, long limit. I have never had it so I guess technically we've we hit on something here. Yeah, you got something you need before. Sure.

It was fine though. Man, we gave 72 21 pilots burrito. I mean it was a long time ago. You know what? It's a pretty good slot bowl. It is good. It looks terrible. I don't have anything else to say? You have, you have, like, nothing to, like, give it credit for. There's no credit, but there's no condemnation.

But, like, but it was good. Yeah. It didn't do anything wrong. I'll give it a 70, I guess. Okay. 70. We just didn't get the high protein bowl. I'm trying to look at how much protein the Karni Asada has.

Yeah. I got a double. Same. I'll look it up after the night. Yeah, I mean, I like it. I like the Karnayasada at Chipotle's pretty good, 80. Their case was. terrible. We didn't get any of us

though, so. Yeah, no, there's a reason. Yeah. There's a reason. Didn't get any. Average score 75. I think it's good. It went up. I know there's like, Chipotle haters but there's like, I don't know. But so many people do like the brand of Chipotle, not just the food. Well, I get that too. Portions and so it's

like, Chipotle is it's not like, oh, it's a hot. It's no Chick-fil-A, like causing controversy when you talk about eating somewhere. Yeah. But it's in the realm, right? No one's like, they get their issues. They got issues. And so that's like... So does the Starbucks across the way from the Chipotle?

It's in that list to me, at least, of like food and beverage restaurants that people have issues with that have nothing to do with the food. Of like, you never know if so you're going to ruffle someone's better. Don't get me start on Chipotle. Well, unless they're feeding you a rat. Well, yeah, I mean... You're supposed to have that. That's rat protein. Yeah, you rat, bitch.

Ho. You rat ho. Fucking hoe. But, you know, I'm fine. I kind of like at least that I came into Chapult. late. So I feel like I'm not a Chipotle person. I don't want to be the person that's like going about

half protein half this, have that, that. It's kind of like a Starbucks-esque for food where it's like I, you're rolling my burrito wrong. Like there's definitely those people are like, I need one and a half scoops of right. There's too many options. They have two, the, the customer is too much control. Uh-huh. They get control

every step of the way. So they're like, it must be perfect. And the second someone messes up, it's like messing up their coffee order. Yeah. Yeah. Well, then you get You get into a guacam, uh, altercation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just start blasting. Yep.

Do it yourself for, right? Come back on YouTube. Nope. Fuck. Just so you know, that was the third one. Yeah. Okay, I was just making sure. That's why I had dialed back to make sure he knew.

Now he knows that they're done. Because you wouldn't say it again. There you have it. I wouldn't. Hey, you can go to 100% eat dot store for merch. We still have the skater bundle. Hats there. Grab a pizza Reaper hoodie.

Nick's got it on. What's the skater bundle? It's the shirts, yeah. It's on camera. I just didn't know what the bundle was. Yeah, yeah. It's the shirts together. The bundle is two shirts.

Oh, okay. Bundle up. At a lower price. You can also go to streamle.com slash 100-percent-eat for signed prints. We'll probably have another signing in the next few months. But you can get it now. And you can go to patreon.com slash 100% eat

or patreon.com slash 100% eat slash gift to give the gift of 100% eat and the Michael Jordan podcast, which has been exceptional. Last week's Michael Jordan podcast. Was it good? A roadie adventure. Nick gives everyone a roadie. Nick and I gave everyone roadie.

Yeah, together. Together. Do we know what that means yet? Yeah, what we did to you. What we did to you. Something definitely got done. Yeah, and it all happened to somebody. Yeah, I got done drinking a long.

Oh, I bet. Yeah, can we get vodka? Yeah, don't worry. They all. They were really delicious I had about half of mine It was pretty good I liked it

I was cleaning up To where I was worried That my tongue was turning in blue Sure I was cleaning up And I'm just like I'm like this I'm just drinking this

This is good I don't care Michael Jordan podcast is over On Patreon You can also follow us On Twitter Instagram And Blue Sky at 100% That's why I got this right

Yep Yeah I walked in and Nick It goes bananas mode Or whatever Nick went busing banana I was like gotta have the buss and banana And then the guy gave me A vape condom

which I didn't know was a thing. Yeah, like a slip. Like when you go over, CPR, you go to vote on the touchscreen to give you the little finger cuff. That's a little unnecessary. I'm like,

I hit the beer. I'm not, I'm not against it, but it's just like, I turn the door walking in this place. You know what I mean? Like it's not, this place is filthy.

Those first started like, they started giving those out like during the 2020 election in the middle of COVID. And it was like, wow, what a great idea. And they never stopped.

That's how he stole it. You can go to P.O. Box, 14, 3, 24, 4-1 Austin, Texas, 78714. That's if you want to send stuff to 100% treat or the show, that is P.O. Box 14, 3241, Austin, Texas, 7-8-7-14. That's right. We do have a banner. Incredible 100% treat that just came out

just like a week or so ago. Go back and watch it. It's great. It's the kind of guy I have to cover my drink around. Yeah, it was good. We got some cool shit. That's where we got this fuggler. Yeah, that's right. It's true. Yep. That was sick. Dude, I was so excited to open that. Oh, yeah, you went crazy.

Well, I'm afraid when I had a kerfuffle over at Mike McRedo. Which is a thing. Every now and then someone goes, what is that? It's a thing. There you go. A kerfuffle? Yeah. I kerfuffed him.

I'm excited to see when laser team's over. I'm excited to see what's over. The last time I watched the movie and it was over was it the premiere at the Paramount and there was a bat in the theater. Cool! And their credits were rolling and there was a bat flag. I was like, I got to get out of here. We hired that bat. Hell yeah.

That's awesome. We wanted to say you clear. We wanted to get a viral moment where we were hoping someone will get rabies Bad attack Yeah That's good

We got it Smart Yeah that's right You can smack that man Yeah Take you side Jordan I hope he got some shots after that Ratey again

Ratey for that rate of food There you have it Goodbye That was fabulous Why did he take so long Happy New Year's Just blast right through Oh shit

2026 Hey 2026 Don't forget Mark your calendar For fun day 2028 Oh 2020 28 Also the year

I'll be running for the United States President That's right Yay He's old enough I'm old enough I'm old enough and just write in.

Just write in and I don't have to do anything. If I get enough people to write in, I win. I win. That's win. That's win. Okay, we'll see you later. Bye. I'll be a crook. Stole that. That's a good slogan.