100% Eat - We Can't Win with Marco's %% Marco's NYXL Pizza

Episode Date: August 18, 2026

Most places have 2 ovens and NONE of them WORK! Go somewhere else, like maybe a Marco's that's further away. Sauce Monkey is in a defensive mood because he didn't get a second pizza. "No" - Sauce Monkey. Anyway the boneless wings stink weird style. Grab a quarter of a pizza and enjoy this episode. Live show tickets are sold out. See you in New York!Grab some merch at https://100percenteat.store Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my coach, Jordan Swears. How the heck are you? Tired now. The hell? He was, we've reved up. Yeah. Well, he told you, he got sleep. I didn't rev.

Nick was like worried. There's no revving. Yeah, it's like a bullet train. Yeah, he's, that's a secret, Captain. Yeah. He's always ready to scream. There's no secrets. Nick was worried.

He's like, oh, he's not. ready and I'm like, no, he's charging up. Don't tell me when I'm ready. Don't speak for me. That's what I'm saying. Don't speak for him. I wasn't. Michael got sleep. He's, uh... Yeah, I did actually. Yeah. I got a myriad of things. It wasn't just sleep. I just feel good and then we went through that. And him crashing down. I was gonna say despite everything we went through to get this food, I know. I feel like you've rebounded nicely. Yeah. It was just, it read the end. The the hard is getting car sick. And I was holding the food everyone else kept complaining about the smell. It's just a car full of people

Go, it's food fucking stinks Yeah, and then Michael And then Michael would go, Do you want to hold it? Please? And then I got this This like on man off brain geekberg Look at this thing.

Yeah, that's a, that's, yeah, that's fucked up. Dude, anything good. Is that pissed? Are you smoking piss? Are you piss smoking? And it was like a big store. Like a million. But it's like, look at all these shitty knockoffs.

Dude, my skin's been real bad lately. Oh, no. Out of your medicine again? Yeah, yeah, and it happened for a while. One of those times. I feel like... I've been those couple months. Yeah, there's a cycle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like, it's on off, but on a month long scale. Right? It's not like day to day. Yeah. Which I saw, I'm assuming it was in reference to, other than that, I don't know, because I have a myriad of problems. But, so on one of the posts you made for one of the episodes, someone was like, yeah, yeah, da-da-da. I hope Michael's okay.

Because, like, the real close-ups, like my face is covered in shit. But I was awesome. I don't know, as I tell the odds all the time, I was like, oh, my psorias is. And it's like, I don't know what's going on. That could be it. Dude, I was rooting around in my drawers. I was rooting around in my drawers and I found some cream and it's like working so good.

Oh, hell yeah. It's not like a permanent fix. I need my medicine. Staves it off. But like, I've never had it before. Well, not like, it's like it got rid of it. Nice. That never happened.

So maybe like it's like I had it. It's probably years old and it's never worked. It's just like an old tube. Right. And it's like it's like a, it's like a, from my mother tube, whether it is or is it, where it's like, it's one of those, one of those cream tubes that's like metal.

Yeah, you know what I mean? You're like, where is this? And it's so like, crinkly, it's broken. Yeah. Yeah. I've been putting that on it's like, yo, my hair line and my scalp, it's like, oh, dude, it's great.

Holly got like this. I can't believe it. I'm so excited. It crimps stuff like that. Oh, yeah, yeah. You put the thing in and you got a crimpy. Oh, it's so fun to do. She got it.

She was like, I'm going to crimp everything. I found a bunch of, she like got my stuff. was like, do you need anything, Chris? No. Well, mine's ripped in the middle. Yeah, that'll do it. That sucks.

That'll do it. So, like, when I squeeze from the bottom, it shoots out the side as, I'll just kind of catch the air. I'm just kind of catching it out from there. I'm squeezing from the bottom and, like, taking them the side. Yeah, dude, it's terrible. It was, like, all under my eyes.

Oh, brutal. Like, it was bad enough where, like, I could see a little bit of it. Like, in my vision. It's, like, obstructing your head. It's pushing your eyelid up. Oh. Mm. All right.

Calm down. Gross. Honestly. Honestly. It's scary. Can't even look at them. But no, it's actually, I've been laying that on thick lately. It's actually working pretty well.

It's real hard to get on the scalp. Because usually it's like a shampoo, obviously, whatever. But the cream works better. So I just went, fuck it. And like, I've been putting it on my head. It's so hard to get through my hair. Like, I'm holding my hair up like this. Like trying to get, but like, you lose it in the hair.

And so I just left it. But I just left it. And so my hair was so crazy. It's just like, it's just like, shining, but like, it worked, man. I just washed it out today. I, like, didn't wash my hair yesterday. I just, like, put this shit in the morning.

And I, like, I good all day. Do you think you could, uh, you could win psoriasis, like, beat it? No. No? No. I've been hoping out. Like, even Michael was like, no. Look, I might live to 150.

I'm not going to be psoriasis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Trust me, I've tried. Every time I don't get my medicine, I'm like, maybe it's a fuck, never mind. Oh, maybe it's gone. No, it's back. I will say, it's nice. And then he shows your kneecap.

Yeah, it's nice how slow it is, though. I don't get my medicine and it takes months. Yeah, my knees are the worst, but even look, look how good the medicine's doing. Oh, there you go. That's good. That's good. Comparatively, yeah. See these parts?

That's where it blood usually bleeds. Yo, this is great. But, like, why is it all over your bush? Well, because you guys were showing bush and I just got jealous. Michael's been bush jealous all day. You guys, I got here, and you guys are whispering in the living room with the door lock. Why was the door lock? Uh-huh.

Not uh-huh. Why? The door was locked because we all came in through the garage. That's true. And I did go out the front door to go to the mailbox. And then just out of habit, lock the door. Dude, my kids never. I won't apologize for having good habits.

My kids never locked the door. Really? What? They never locked the door. And it sucks when they come home. Like, I'm always like on top of it. But if they come home from their friend's house later in the evening and I forget, fucking last night, I was like making something in the kitchen.

I went downstairs. It was like 2 o'clock in the morning. front doors unlocked. All night. Crazy. Damn. 2 o'clock in the morning my night just got started.

Yeah, hell yeah. We're just getting going. We're just sandwich time. No, two of all the morning last night was ramen. Oh. But Bulldak ramen?

Have you had the Bulldak? Oh, we know about Bulldog. It's like creamy. It's real good. What did he help us with? Was that with the Panda Express? I think he was on the Express. He helped me get fit.

He came down from his planet. He did. He comes down from his planet. and he helps us. His saucy. Yeah. Next to new restaurant. Yeah.

I don't have to wear sunglasses today. Nice. So we were showing Bush before Michael got here. I show skin, you show Bush. Yeah. And I feel left out. Mm-hmm. Good comparisons.

A lot of shapes. Big, big style. Big flat top stuff and everything. He had the one though, right, that was like, he kept, he had like the grand platinum. Isn't that what he was calling it? Shape? What? It was like a bunch of.

Oh, is problematic tattoo? Problem? Yeah, what's the problem? Get a look. Eric's not running for the Senate anymore. It grows like that. What's the problem? Oh, is not supposed to grow like that? Because I've lasered it.

It's a bunch of turning to do it. It's like a hedge maze. Got here and hang on. Oh. Maybe that's what was making it. That's probably it. Gotta put that on. Big hit now.

He yelled. Got here. Do it. Today we're eating Marco's pizza. Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. And, um... X-L New York style.

Yeah, that's right. That's right. All right. Yep. That's how good it is. You're like a sickly dragon. It was coming out of the holes of your head, but wrong. There's a really...

There's a really... a really funny joke I want to make, but I don't think he watched the Old House of the Dragon yet. Damn. No. My skin's been too bad. If you've seen it, you know what joke I was going to make. The stone skin people bother me when I'm like, my kids are great though. They're like, ew, what is that? Oh, I don't get that. That's ugly.

Oh, man. Talk about like passing it on to your kids. My dad's got like eczema, but he's got it like he's like allergic to like rubber compounds and stuff. If he touches it, his hands break out really bad. Yeah, like a touch thing. Yeah, and you can avoid it.

And I forget what it was, but like, I was talking about how, like, I had this, like, rash breakout on my neck. I was like, oh, I don't know what it is, but, like, I've been noticing it only, like, I'm wearing, like, I go on the rubber shirt. A treadmill, and I'm wearing, like, a workout shirt. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I go, I looked at it, and it was, like, man, out of polyester. And I feel like when I sweat, it's only on my neck. And my, oh, I didn't even get to the polyester part. dad goes, made that polyester? Oh shit. Yeah, I checked. Goes, yeah, that'll do it.

Happens to me too. And I'm like, fuck. Yeah, no. I know. I know how exom is like similar to psoriasis, like a skin thing. I don't know if it's similar of like, appearance,

but it's like real common in your like late 20s, early 30s. Yeah, that's kind of like when he started getting too. Oh, interesting. Apparently. I got it like 24. So that's what I have to look forward to. Is that getting worse?

Thank bad. My kids are the ones just like, and then they were mentioned in the other day. and then they were mentioned the other day, they're like, I would you go swimming? We don't go swimming and was like, yeah, this, that. Like, in general, I was like, on top of that, like, my skin's like really bad right now.

And they're like, hey, hey, don't let other people judge you. Thanks, asshole. You just did it. Do me. Thanks, asshole. Don't let other people, true. I mean, I was like, don't even worry about that. It is gross.

Yeah, don't want to see it. Uh, dad, it's fine. Gross, but don't let other people say, right? It's fine. Don't let me stop you. It's okay. You can wear jeans. You don't have to go.

You can wear your shirt. Have you thought full wetsuit? Just wear your shirt. I mean, I have one. There you go. Got here said, hey, Marco's pizza. Got here said check out my bush. Check, yep.

Uh-huh. Oh, is it Marcos? Is that what it is? It is. It's Marcos, but what is it specifically? I don't know, he said it already. Yeah, XL N. Yeah, he already said that.

DK.N.Y. Donk Island on New York, baby. It's the, Marco's fiery flavors menu. Is that what it was? Yep, that's what it says. It's the old one. That's what he teed me up for. What is it?

What is it? I got nervous. So said, hey, put in the order. And Jordan went, yeah, we're going to get the food this time. And it was like, there's nothing I can do. I've put in the order. There's nothing I can do. We're doing it.

So we go to the Marcos. Same one. Same one last time. Last time. It's our home. The last time we went, the guy went, oh yeah, we didn't have that anymore. So I just made you other food. Something kind of like it.

And so we just went. But he said it as he handed it to it to it. after we had paid, not a heads up. Really like... No time to change it or ask for a refund. Here you go, it's wrong, by the way. Just setting us up to like not rejecting. Here you go more on this all fucked up.

And we went, hey, you know what? For the show, great. It's exactly what you want. And then we got a... We got two-liter Mountain Dew. It lasts a lot of a lot. No, I think it's finally gone. Okay.

So then we were all today... I think my kids drink it one day. How are they going to fuck this up? That's how we kept going. We kept going. How is... How is Marko's going to fuck up this whole thing for us? How is this going to...

get blown. I'm arrogant. I'm fucking up. So we roll up and we get out of the car and there's a handwritten sign on the door. This is always good. That just says,

it's scrolled. Like, not like somebody had a pen and kind of like wrote it. Yeah. It was just like, uh, closed.

And then a man came around the corner with a leaf blower. With a leaf blower. And he was giving us the, like, shoo us off like raccoons. Yeah, he's giving us the, like,

he wanted to sound like a pack of bops. Yeah. He really went in early where I feel like we could have like, Figured it out. Also, like, it was so early, we could have not been going to Marcos. I was, like, barely walking away from the car. He's like, oh, no, no, no.

And I was just like. Don't even try it. Stop! Yeah. He like blew at us. Yeah, he was going to get us a pack of skunks. He just went, it's, uh, the ovens are all down. Ovens are down.

Nick could not wrap his head around what that meant or how it factored into any of this. But the ovens are down. Well, if they already made our food, surely. Do you think both? I don't know if they have, do they have two? Most places have two. Is it two or is it one stacked on top of each other? That's two.

It's probably not two. But whatever. It's got two heating elements. Well, the ovens are down. They have 100 ovens and none of them work. That doesn't really matter if they had a thousand. Either fucking way. We just go, I don't, we don't know what we're, okay, so we can't eat this.

So what are we going to do? This is the second time we're doing Marcos. we're not getting the thing or whatever. And I said... There's more. Nice. Now it'll taste better. Take a big hit.

I said, well, you guys want to go to Wendy's? And no one wanted to go to Wendy's, which I was... Or Keynes! I didn't want to go to Wendy's? I just went, okay. Let's give it a second. Did we even look for another market? No, we didn't look at anything.

It was like, my hesitation was, it was a pivot, like, we're screwed and we have no choice. Before looking at anything. Oh, no, guys. It's the worst thing in the morning. It's not a stressor. It's not like, oh, what do we do? No one has, like, a time they have to be out by. It just seemed like we're jumping the gun here.

That was my like, well, hang on a second. He just started yelling other gas stations or whatever. Cains, Raising Cains. So Nick wanted to go to Raising Cains. I want to go to Wendy's. And Jordan went, well, where's like the next closest Marcos? And we looked. Surprisingly.

You and I were the other ones. Yeah, you guys. Maybe we still get the same food? Yeah. So, in the car, and you'll be, how far is it good for? Oh, like 15 minutes. So not that far?

Nope. So you'll be able to see it in the ride along because we started at the one Marcos and go to the other Marcos and go inside of vape shop and then go back. There's a real chaty situation. But we divided and conquered. Yeah, I went into the vape shop

while you went into Marcos. So on the way to the Marcos, which was north, it was just past the Zaxby's. That's the way we were going? Uh-huh. And the typhoon, Texas. We just went up. And then on the way there,

Nick started going, so when they fuck this up, where are we eating? Yeah. It wasn't for instance. Just in case. Real negative behavior. Yeah, and I was like, I don't care enough to contemplate yet. It's being prepared, George. Let's get there first and see that.

Then we can figure out. And this was a Nick pick also. Well, that was my point. That was what was funny. You're like, go, oh, fuck, we'll go somewhere else. I'm like, this is your pick. Yeah. Fuck Marcos.

Fuck this place. No, I said no. Nick picks, not only the pizza, he picked the rest of, of the food. He picked the rest of the food and he picked one pizza. Nope. Which got into a little bit of a debate about it. Now you're not going to believe this guys. There was a little bit of a pushback in the car between Nick and Eric. What? Yeah. It was I couldn't believe it. I kept saying Jordan, Jordan, you're seeing this and you kept saying I don't even understand it because it's never happened before. It was confusing. I asked Nick today. I was like,

I'm putting in the order like that. What else do you want? What else you want? Right. What else? Right. Right. You didn't even tell me what there was. I assume two pizzas because that's what we always get. We said what else? Uh-huh. So that means what do you want? I don't usually get two pizzas. What are you talking about?

I feel like we usually do. Not so sure about that. I think so. I think we usually do. So Nick didn't want another pizza. Nick wanted cheese bread and wings. I just went, oh, one, huh? I'm usually getting two.

That's it. And then all hell broke loose. No, no, no. This was Nick. Most of the right home. No. No. No.

It was more like, no, no, no. No, no. No, no. Very different. Very different. It wasn't defensive. Oh, yes, it was. It was frustrated with you.

Why did you say, why did you say that last part? Oh, my God. That's all it was. No, it was extremely defensive. It's exactly what it was. No, classic non-defensive. Oh, it was. I'm going to get out of here.

Where are you going? I'm going. So, the wings that we got stank, stunk? So much. They smelled so bad. The color is wrong. Yeah, they really smelt. Buffalo doesn't. This is your beautiful pig?

They're also such a weird color. They're bright orange. It looks like orange chicken. It does. That's supposed to be Buffalo. Show them how liquidy the, like the liquid is in there. Yeah. The whole thing is a mess.

It's so gross. That's just like the wing situation. And I was looking at him and Eric was. like, they're bone in, right? I thought I'd ordered bone in. I don't know if they're bone in. I don't know. You thought you ordered two bids you.

Yeah. So we got the NLXY and then we got boneless wings and we got cheese bread. NLXY. That's right, right? The AEI. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I is right. Whatever, it's the letters. So we got that and it's smelled so bad the whole way home. Yeah, and I feel like it was like sometimes it was I think when you guys were looking at the wings the wing smell really came in and it was like so It was so brutal. Yeah, and but I think the rest of it was just like the smell of the cheese on the pizza. Yeah, it it was like The pizza was so strange for as big as it was cut into six very weird slices Nick That was the size but it was almost part of quarters

But there was one slice of pizza That was an entire quarter It was so... Right, that's what I'm saying Fucking nuts And it was cut in six slices It made no sense It made absolutely no sense

It was strangely even But it shouldn't have been No And then it had such a taste Just make eight at that point Like there was no reason to You gotta have big slices for it to New York But even then it should have been six

Of the same goddamn size If you're gonna do six It's like they wanted it They're like, we gotta do six, but it's gotta be even. Make that fuck, make that a hunker. Make those tiny, make those tiny. Well, this one's big. Well, I gotta make these ones small then.

So we had to drive up to a city called Huddo to go get Marco's pizza from a strip mall. And it was, man, we dropped from downtown Flugerville. I call it a bush mall. Yeah. I don't think I've ever been to Hutto. I've been to that AGB and that's it. I've been through it. That's the outskirts of Hutto.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I guess I've definitely driven past. Right. It's probably hard to avoid it. Where's the inskirts? Yeah. And I don't want to be there. Slightly.

Okay. That's up, up and right. Yeah. Up and right. We went up and left a little bit. Yeah, we went up left. But man, it took a long time to get there, and then we were in the car for like an hour just trying to get this fucking pizza. George not a good idea we should have followed through on where you were just like, let's make this the episode.

Yeah. If we get back, we read the facts, eat the food. They're pretty much there, right? We could have. We could have done it. Yeah. And Nick was very against it for some reason. I don't know why.

I think he was already in no mode. I just don't know why he hated that part so much. Like that had nothing to do with him. And in fact, was just to save our time. Jordan didn't want the same time. He was like, no.

No. And I don't know why he wanted to, like, I was just thinking about piecing it together. So now instead it's another 35 to 40 minute ride along. But aren't you still going to have to pieces together? It's just called something else. Like, yeah.

But this is the product. That's just bonus to me. He doesn't watch either one so it doesn't matter. I just like you're facing it together exactly the same. I'm just like your phone number to everyone. He did, he showed my, you have to type that out. That might not have been his number. I say leave it in, it's probably, it's probably Markle's number.

We don't know, but you clapped at the time, Nick. Oh yeah, that's so yeah, right, you're right. That's why I did it. Incredible. I've time traveled. If the number one- No, you didn't because you already did it. If the number one.

I've already had it. It's like you time traveling going, oh, we went back in time. Fuck, I did this already. That's here and now. That's then before. Where I went. We figured out that we were latitudally along where Casey's was.

Like, look, if we hop on 45. Five. Hop on 45 and go left. Yeah, he's almost there. Could have been Casey's. Shut up. I'm going to make a video of it. I'll go.

Oh, you're going to vlog yourself. The Casey's and new Buckees too. And then you can go to sausages and get sued by them. Yeah. You're not going to Buckees? Nah. They open a new one. Ever again?

Eh. Where's the near, the next to what, Bastrop? I mean, the nearest one now is going to be San Marcos. Yeah, and beyond that, New Bromphels. Maybe or is? Yeah.

No, the one in Temple is further, isn't it? Might be equidistant. San Marcos is only in 40 minutes. 45? So is Temple. That far. Yeah, the Bastrop's not that sucks. I mean, yeah, it sucks.

But I'm saying it's a Buckees. There's hardly a Buckees. Bronfell's one. What's the one? I think it's off 290 and like, I forget what the town is called, but like, it's the only one if you're, if you go past Maynor. Uh-huh. And you're going, you're going towards Houston on 290. Uh, there's, no, it's past Elgin. Uh, it might be like, Houston's way for

Giddings or something, but like, it's the shittiest. Oh, oh, the shitty, oh, you're talking about the shitty buckies. That's one I was, that's when I thought you were talking about. No, that one's a 7-Eleven. Yes, that one is a 7-Eleven. That is the worst one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that one sucks. It's all there in there. It's so small. The one in Bastrop is a little nicer. It's Nick's big idea where he wants to make a gas station without the gas

so he can just make the gas station food. Hot-dod rollers. He just wants a place that has hot-dollers. You come in and he's like, No, I want gas. We don't do that here. Why are there gas pumps out there? Those are parking spots.

We're a green company. Yeah. Oh, that's the soda fountain. Yeah. That one's Dr. Pepper. That one's Dr. Pepper. That one's Dr. Pibb. That one's Big Red.

Can I get 20 bucks on number four? Yeah. I got a two-liter Here's your bucket Two-liter of my ass Yeah And that five-gown I don't need it

Stop drinking from the pump Yeah Emergency shut off Hey you guys don't know fucking shit about Marcos Do you want to learn about Marco's pizza? I feel like I learned a lot About how they operate their I still don't know how they operate shit

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interest rates that grow the more you save and invest. Conditions apply. Visit scotiabank.com slash h-i-sa to learn more. Scotia Bank. You're richer than you think. Our last Marcos episode was February 24th, 2026, where we did not eat Marcos firey flavors menu. It received an average rating of 65.

That was just based off their, that was just their pizza. Yeah, that was just some regular pizza that we got. I think one had jalapeno on it. Did it? Yes. Or something. Yeah. Like they didn't have everything on the fiery menu.

No. Also, they spell it right? Okay, they spelled it. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Fiery. There you go. Either way, we didn't eat that one. But we luckily got this one. No, there was like a jalapeno on it. Mm-hmm. Just one.

Mm-hmm. I ate it. And it gave somebody cyclospora. Salmonella. I wish it were me. I wish it were me. Kill me. To celebrate!

They're excited. Nighting NYXL Pizza. Marco's Pizza did a one deactivation at one location in Florida where you could get a pizza slice for $1 and trotted out former Washington Wizards player God Sham God to eat a slice of pizza and talk about being a real New Yorker.

Sham God said they actually went to New York, studied the pizza culture, and visited some of the city's most iconic slice shops to understand what makes a real New York slice. This guy is an assistant coach for the New Orleans Pelicans and spent more time playing basketball in China than living in New York. Sauce Monkey is going to hit him with the sham god and send his ass packing back to Zey Zhang Cyclones.

Zajian, bitch. I don't pronounce any of that right. I don't know either. There's so many like apostrophies in there. Also, his name is God. Sham God? Yeah. Is that his real name?

It is now. It wasn't his, but it wasn't his birth name. Is that his God given name? God being him. Okay. Yes, it is. He gave it himself. Yeah, but he wasn't a god when he gave it.

His name was like, was Frank. Was it like Sham God Williams or something like that? Sham God Williams is a cool name. It was something like that. And then, and then change it to that. God sham guy. Played one year for the, like, the Washington Wizards. And then...

Yeah, what does this have to do with New York? If he played for Washington. Also, in Florida. Florida? Yeah. None of this makes sense. None of it makes any sense. Even if the pizza was like, it's not.

Yeah, first of all, first of all, your mission failed. I was going to say, if this is what they produced after studying the New York pizza culture. Going to New York means nothing. I went to New York and I ate a pizza there.

Cool. Yeah. They crammed. First of all, that doesn't, that doesn't translate. I'm sorry, it's not a look thing.

You don't go, that's how you do it. That's not really it. Okay. Not only did you not pull it off, you also don't need to do that in order to do it. More garlic butter. It's just like, whoa, this is a good New York. Did you go to New York?

No. I just made it like they do it. We just know how they do it. Let me ask you. Big oven. Do you think the thing is a process? We just followed the process. They didn't have to go there.

They didn't have to try it. Do you think the thing that makes it a real, New York slice is adding more salt. Yeah. And then just. Yeah. And then you think, this is a salty slice. But in New York, they love their salt.

I made that face like when I took the vape hit. That's what I made face I made when I bit the pizza. Michael could not believe how salty was so salty. Like mid chew. I'm like, I got a, oh my God. We like scrambled downstairs to get water. I couldn't. I was like, whoa.

And I mean, you know, any pizza in general. general salty. A New York pizza is salty. I wouldn't say it's like you can tell. I think in most cases it should not be. No, I've never had a pizza that was like all the salt really comes through. Like it's a salty food. But like a good pizza, like you're not going.

This is salty. That's too far if you're singing that. It's a thing where maybe after you eat a slice, you're like, I'm thirsty now. This was like, oh, salt a big god. Yeah. And all throughout everywhere. In every bite. And tomorrow the problems with it.

And we thought six slices wasn't going to be enough. Yeah. I mean... Actually, hey, Nick, good call. Yeah. I saved the day. You saved the day. We didn't need two pizzas because it wasn't good at the place he picked.

That's what he said. And he said that. And then he went, no. He's like, but thank God we didn't get to. I was like, right, because the pizza's not great. Why? Because it's bad and you pick something bad, by the way.

In June. Marcos pizza announced. No. I know I was trying to save Nick I was gonna bust this out Oh back in his good grace Cheap ass gamer Got us a fuzzler

Oh really? That's where we came from? Yeah Jared is this muggler Nick's saying things Yeah so Eric brings it in And he's like look what Jared got us And Nick immediately goes Wow back in our good graces

I said we're back in his good grace Because of I was never in bad grace Yeah He wasn't mad at me First of all I think he was mad and anyone. But also, like, mad's probably extreme. But also, this is all it took?

Where the musk is here? $3.50. Right. Get out of here. And then Nick went, yeah, but he paid for it. And then me and Jordan both went, probably not. Probably not. He's cheap-ass gamer.

He probably had some kind of workaround where he got like two of those friends. He tells you in the name, man. I don't think he paid for it. No, I bet he paid for it. But he paid for it. He's the name cheap ass. But there you go. He can open it if you want to.

It's the team USA exclusive. What is it? Swagler. Go for it. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. He's working at USA. This is how the rest of the world sees us.

I don't know what he's supposed to look like, not fucklerized. Not that's bush. Kind of the same air come. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beautiful. Ah, teeth. The teeth feel weird. Touch my bush.

I like it. I like it. Damn. Whoa. Sorry, sorry. It was weird that he said it. Sorry, it was weird that he said it. It was like, it was like he was.

It was just, it was like instinct. Every week with this guy. When someone says harder, I throw my face towards it. It keeps doing it. Mouth open face at it. Oh my God in heaven. In June, Marco's Pizza announced plans to open a new Operation Center of Excellence

in Orlando, Florida. And we'll serve as a corporate office training destination and operational hub for the pizza chain. The company is investing over million dollars in the 14,000 square foot facility. where you can learn how to take an online order, stare at it, and make something else

while your coworker plays phone games in the corner on loud. Very excellent. On loud. That guy in the corner who definitely worked there. I don't know. Whatever. Save the king from getting melted. Clash of clans-ass-fucking game in the corner.

He was playing Stop the Work. Hey, stop working. Stop working. How do I turn the oven off? Break it, break it. When it's the million dollars, they're putting a million dollars into this thing. And then that's it.

They kept touting. And this million dollars is going to go so far. And we're investing. This is going to be our new headquarters. And I kept going for a headquarters. A million dollars? A million. A million dollars.

They're getting all like. Whoa, wow. They're making fun of a million dollars. See it coming. Somebody's type in it right now. It's Marco's pizza. I wish we had a million dollars I wish I had a million dollars too

If I had so much money I could move my Giant nationwide business operations From Ohio To Florida And then I went We're sticking a lot of money In this one guys

One million dollars Some fucking Dr. Evil Austin Powers One ass shit What? I mean that's a hundred Cutchair Yeah Think about it Crazy

Crazy Crazy. Keep going. Keep going. No, I was doing the math. I know, keep going. There's no way you got to 100. He's getting there.

He's close. He got lost. 30? In the... Whoa! No, Bush. Lost in the Bush. That platinum maze down there.

Margoa's Pizza, which is Ohio-based, gained most of its ground in Utah where entrepreneur, Jacob Webb, helped grow the brand to prominence. Along with tropical. smoothie cafe, Webb said his next venture in Utah will be Jeff's bagel run, a bagel concept that started in central Florida. Honestly, if there's any state that's going to love Florida bagels, it's Utah, the state

that prides itself on milk sodas and tricking God into thinking they're not having premarital sex. Check me, Christ. Go eat a banana bread bagel? What the fuck? That is their bagel? When I looked at Jeff's bagel run, their bagel of the day, banana bread. bread bagel. The bagel to day?

That's a lot of the day. It's a lot. Anything of the day is a lot. That's a lot of different bagels. That's too much work. Scraping the bottom of the barrel, I guess, with banana bread. You're doing repeat. Right? Oh, banana bread again. Yeah. Like seven bagels.

Jeff's bagel run is such a weird name for a business. It sounds like that's what they're playing on the phone. Jake's playing just bagel run. Beep, beep, beep! Power up. Banana bread. Banana bread.

Banana bread. I'm gonna bagel ammo. Get the magic pants. Shoot the smear. Shoot the smear. I smear on my bush. Collect the locks. Oh no, clean it fast.

Harder. There's a tropical smoothie cafe in Flugerville. Wow. Is Flueville like Florida? Wow. Which is like Utah? Thank you, Jacob Webb. No, Nick.

Thank you, Nick. He's the one I told us. What is tropical smoothie cafe? It's a place with smoothies. Okay, so you don't... Okay, so you do know. They might have limited time stuff. I'll look.

He's gonna look right now. He is gonna look and grab his phone. He is gonna look right now. That's fine. Keep going. Keep going on time. Well, I was gonna wait. Don't stop the show on his account.

Background. Don't stop the background. On his account. I briefly jumped into the foreground just to help out. And do you feel like he helped out? That's what he's doing. My load was lightened.

Yeah. The final fact Dude, let's go right now. Fuck this. Oh, you ordered it. They're building a lot of new stuff in Mayer. It's pronounced manner. I would say they're building too much.

They're supposed to be moving like a building like a movie theater, like a new city hall and stuff. They should consider, I don't know. They should consider raising the high ones. Hopefully not in central manner. Central manor. Not nice. Yeah.

They should consider. Central manors were the, they cut the guy. Those kids went on the shooting spree. Yeah, central mainers were like they pull them over. be where they're gonna try to build this. They have a feeling it's gonna be... They're around the spot. They got caught.

They should stop building things in Maynard until they fix the freeway. No. Hey. If they build it, it will not get fit. Okay. We were all making jokes in kind of riffing here. And then I heard him gasp.

Which means he found something at tropical smoothie cafe. Or if something completely unrelated. They've got a watermelon mojito smoothie, a mango berry Cosmo smoothie, how far you'll go, mango smoothie. And a tiki torch for that. Is that for Moana?

No, I was gonna, like... Oh, maybe. Hey, how far will you go for this, Smiley? How far will you go with this fuggler? We saw how far he'll go already. Harder. However far you go, Nick wants it harder. No matter what.

You're going down on his dick and come out of his asshole, and he wants you to do it harder. It is Moana. It is Moana, Jordan. Very cool. The live action one, yeah. Great. Yeah, it's really, really really...

He's still looking at the menu. Four layers of spice! I mean, you told him. No, I didn't tell him to. Yes, you did. Yeah, you did. I saw it in your eyes. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. I said he is going to do this. Exactly. Look it up harder. He got you there.

Looking to continue to expand nationally, Marcos has set, it's, why? First of all, why? Stop. You know, you already spend your million dollars, guys. What more can you do? You reach a certain point where like, like, continue, continuous growth? That's just cancer.

Yeah. Oh, no. Maybe think about that, Marco. You already spent your million dollars? I'm like, yes. Oh, man. Looking to continue to expand nationally, Marcos has set its sights on breaking into New Mexico and California. Like a B&E? With three stores set to open in New Mexico soon,

California has already seen three open in Upland, Fontana, and Hesperia. Yesperia. Yeah. Oh, Jesus, dude, of course, it's all in the inland empire. Well, if you have time to ride your cousin's dirt bike or dirty bike, Over to a Circle K, just north of Ontario. Keep your eyes peeled for what probably used to be a little seizures connected to a vape shop. If you want to grab a whole pie and be the hit of your stepson sleepover this Friday night

because it's his weekend with you guys and you're grabbing that case of bush. You're grabbing that cape of bush apple anyway. So might as well figure out dinner. So excellent. Why, Marita? He didn't mention any meth. That was applied. Yeah, it said his spirit.

It's implied to know that I wrote this fact And then go to the one in the hoods Dude, I was reading it too And I was just like, that's home, baby, that's back home Dude, Upland? Yeah, dude It's up and do it there, dude We went Upland to get, dude

I know, but Upland's like kind of down, right? Dude, to just Yeah, we're opening a Marcos pizza in California Where, Fontana Yeah, you know, where the NASCAR track used to be These are like This is like D-D destroyed it

Is it like Is it kind of like Domain? It's like It's like a domain Yeah I'm picking up with your Dropping.

It's a domain Yeah Yeah yeah yeah It's like a domain meets Kind of like abandoned train tracks Yeah Yeah And it is more like

Abandon train tracks Which there definitely are In Fontana It's kind of like You know when you're almost to Kyle But you're not quite there yet And you just go, who lives here?

Yeah, I used to call that going to the office. Yeah. Fucking crazy. God damn. Dude, I'll tell you, last episode, I wasn't feeling very well. I'm looking over and we're at 37 minutes and I'm just like, that already? Dude, the last week we were at 12 and I was like, but you got the Wendy's.

Yeah, I know. The Wendy's, thank God it was when. Dude, if it was this food last week, oh my God. I mean, it's really good. I just learned something. Burger King Yeah, you were counting to 100.

Burger King took over Wendy's as the number two burger in the country. Which is crazy because I didn't think Wendy's would have been number two. Take over from Wendy's is crazy and also,

huh? Burger King? You know what they credited with is all their antics about making their food better? Yes, they killed the king. No, what I should say is they keep talking about

how they're making their food better. I guarantee you they didn't change shit. No, but they're talking about it. They decided. to market with a guy that doesn't go Whopper, Whopper, Whopper, Wopper, and people decided to go to the restaurant. So, I guess that's all it really took.

But, like, the article I read also mentioned that, like, regardless of who's in second, nobody is close to McDonald. No one, no one's close. It really is to just fight for scraps. Nick's, every time Nick is that, well, it's good now. It's taste it. Maybe you should look for one more. Maybe it's like Nick didn't know about the rapper on the taffy.

Yeah, damn. Maybe there's another It's in the liquid Yeah, that's why it tastes weird Incredible You're sucking on plastic Okay Plastic would probably be better

Than what it actually is Yeah You said blue raz? Yeah It doesn't Blue Raz doesn't even really have a flavor But it's not this Yeah

If Wendy's this number three now Who's four? Probably Sonic Oh I know gross I know Fucking Sonic

Sonic burger Is Warner Not big enough to be I think it's like Jack in the box thing where it's like, it's limited by like, it's like a region thing. Because Sonic is terrible, but there's a billion locations. Carl's, Carl's, yeah, but I think how they count them, it's probably split.

And also, also there's less of those now than there were 10 years ago. No, in and out, harmed by regionality. Yeah. They're expanding, but they're not. They're trying, but it's not, I think it's like, you can't get it. Tennessee is like the furthest season. You can't get out in Hawaii, so. Yeah.

It's, uh, still, I would just think the places you can. Yeah. I mean, like, more than Burger King. It's the nationality of the chain. If there's two states with in and out, it should be higher than burger game. You know how they used to make it back home? So good.

That classic double double and the animal style fries. You have to make sure you say every letter in it. Animal style fries. Animal. Okay. I saw Rocko's review that Square Enix restaurant. And it was so funny though watching Rockwell review that was like serious. Yeah.

Because he wants to be invited back. So he's like, I got to do one. But it wasn't a bit. Right. I was waiting for the bit to drop. Oh, I made it in. I knew it wasn't because like I understood everything in Squaring and I was like, oh, this is just, I was like, oh, I bet his mom likes that place too.

With the Dragon Quest? Yep. Yep. You got that slide. Dude, those beans or whatever it was? Those slime beans? It was like black food. It was good.

They just put like eyes on it. Yeah. There you go. Eat your slot, moron. Yeah, the, uh, he's been getting. invited to like a bunch of that stuff. So when you see a serious video from them, like it's like, oh, I had fun it like this thing. You're waiting for it, but you're

like, where's the weird thing? When's he going to put the food on his head? Right. Speaking of food, do you want to tell us about this food, Jordan? Yeah, let's see what this NXLN. And look at how well it's written about. Okay. This new pizza captures the rituals

that define the style featuring an extra large 16 inch pie cut into six oversized foldable slices. Did it feel foldable? Mine was You had a quarter of the pizza Yeah I did It was yeah I had a quarters last It's pretty thick crust

Each pizza starts with dough Holy shit That's what it was They the secret That's what they went to New York Guys You're not gonna believe How they do it here

Well they tasted it And that's how they knew Each pizza starts with dough Made fresh in store daily Stretched extra thin No about that Instead of Marco's traditional pizza sauce Our New York style

pizza features crushed tomatoes. Packaged hours after picking. What? What does that mean? Fresh, right? Paired with just the right amount of cheese and large diameter deli-style pepperoni. We're talking about like the radius of it.

Yeah. How much bush on the pepperoni? Finished with Marco's signature, garlic sauce crust and a sprinkle of parmesan for a perfectly balanced flavor in every bite. Let me tell you something about this garlic sauce they put on the crust. It was way too much.

fucking crap. I took a picture of how the box looked when it was done where it was just gelatinous and like so much dripping. Yeah.

Yeah. On the box. I couldn't get it off. It was down my arm. Nick was like covered in the I think that the saltiness that we were tasting was the parmesan cheese

they put on it, which I don't think is parmesan cheese. I think it's just salt. Mm. You. Salt cheese. You've had several New York slices before.

You had a couple, yeah? They usually put garlic sauce on that shit? No. No. What are we doing? Not at all. That's a Domino's thing. That's like a fast food chain.

Well, they went to New York. They went to New York. Garlic sauce. They got Papa Johns. They got Domino's. They're like, there's a spar over there. Dude, I think we're set. Yeah, I think we're good, though.

I think we got everything. This is two places. What do you think, God's jam got? He just crosses. I can't be here much longer. I think at the time that Shamgod did that event in Florida he was an assistant coach for the magic And then

Okay At least that makes sense It's like And then now he's a Pelican's assistant coach The Pizza Strum New York Yeah He's a New Orleans Pelican No I mean he's an assistant coach

I don't think he was traded I think he just got signed He signed somewhere else But he was with the Mavericks for like six years You can get traded as a coach Well that's pretty cool That would be insane That would be insane

Imagine imagine being a coach and you get traded. Right? Who trades you? Players? Right. They give up. We all voted.

Imagine you're just like a 48-year-old coach and you find out you got traded and you're just like, I, my family's here. I'm the coach. Your family's staying. They don't want to go with you. Honey, we got traded. You got traded. Yeah, you got traded. We voted.

They asked us how we felt. We said send them. Our new dad is Bill Bill. Yeah. Whoa. UNC. Pretty cool. And our new mom is now my younger sister.

It's pretty good. Look, even I know that sports are right. He's doing the airplane. He's doing the airplanes. Yupies. Huppies. On the beach. Oh, man.

No, you suck my back. Oh, man. Let me get it out there. Let me root around for it. I'm not a go route. This is elder abuse. Sign me up. He can take it.

Punish him. Harder. Looking the little Belichick. That's what his eyes look like after she has her way with him. My blood pressure. Oh, man. At Desjardin Insurance, we know that when you own a nail salon, everything needs to be perfect from tip to toe. That's why our agents go the extra mile to understand your business and provide tailored solutions for all its unique needs.

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Conditions apply. Visit scotiabank.com slash h-I-SA to learn more. Scotia Bank. You're richer than you think. Jordan, you want to teach us more with the press material? Teach us, Jordan. I think we should go down this. rabbit all further. Teach us.

Okay. Quote, capturing the essence of a true New York style. You know what's funny? They keep saying NY stuff. They do. Everything is NY. It's never spelled out New York. Is anywhere else NY? Could it be like a loophole? Oh, it's not actually New York. Yeah. Neo-Yokio. They go to Nye, Florida to see

how they do their pizza and it's fucked up. New Yonkers. The capturing the essence of a true NY-style pizza was our top priority. Wow. Said chef Kathleen Kennedy. What? That's what she's doing now.

That's what she's up to. Uh-oh. You can't even do this right. Nope. Blazer eyes. Director of culinary innovation for Marco's Pizza. From the structure of the dough to the brightness of the crushed tomatoes, every detail was thoughtfully developed to deliver that classic foldable experience

people expect from a New York pizzeria. She said it out loud. She didn't say N. Y. They love talking about how foldable the slices. Yeah. And they love not making it foldable. Then what they do is like, I feel like that's such a thing that people like make a thing. Yeah.

Not at all. And you could fold the pizza. And it's like, but it's not a thing that's ever talked about. Like you fold it because you do. It's like. You're kind of. It's so big and you're holding it. It's not even, but it's not even a big thing.

Yeah. Right. Like a normal standard New York slice. You get like, you know, whatever, large media. It's like, they're not big. You still fold them anyway. It doesn't have to be big to fold it. Yeah.

I don't, you fold it so it doesn't flop. That's what you fold it for. Right. So you can eat it. But you just pick it up and eat it. You don't go, I'm folding guys. It's like, it's like the classic New York pick upable cup. It's like, it's, I've never, I've never heard more talk.

I've never heard more talk of folding until like being outside of the East Coast. Yeah. It's not a thing there. No one goes. like, fold it, fold it. It's just how you do it so you can pick it up and it doesn't sag and drip grease everywhere so the cheese doesn't slide off. But it's just so crazy how much people talk about it like that's the thing. The thing about the New York slice is it's good. Yeah, right. Right. That's it. It's not even big. That's not a New York thing. When they're talking so

much about how being big isn't a thing. Foldable it is. They're just talking about how like bad it is. But hey, right. You can pretend. They keep. saying it's big? And so it's big, that's why you fold it. A regular slice is like this big. And you still fold it. It's not big. You don't fold it because it's big.

You fold it because the end flops. And it's foldable. Which is so important to me. As a New Yorker. We figured everything out. Bitch, when you say in New York, people think good pizza. That you can fold. And it's covered in garlic sauce.

Crazy. There's another. It's just pizza. It's not that complicated. This was from. George Lucas. In my original vision. I'm interested in this.

We knew if we were going to create a A. N.Y. style pizza. We had to do it authentically and respectfully. Said Steve Kennedy. Chief marketing officer of Marco's Pizza. They share a last name. Interesting.

That meant learning directly from the culture. And traditions. him. Harder. That make New York Pizza's so iconic. Seeing transplanted New Yorkers respond so positively to the pizza

who like sham god? Yes. Especially in a place like Florida where so many former New Yorkers now live. What old fucks? Yes. It was incredibly rewarding for our team. Yeah.

So what they're saying is we went to New York. We studied the pizza. We came back to Florida and gave it. to old people and they were like pizza, good. You see Bill's hot new

girlfriend. I like to fold that. Will you come visit me again? What? Bro. The idea that they keep, because this is all bullshit. It's all press. Of course. I know it is. But the idea that even in the bullshit your thing is how authentic

it was, we went there to figure it out and you sound like you don't know anything. Right. Guys, we did it. We went there. It's authentic, you can fold that giant slice just like all these fucking confused dementia, old people think. Dude, dude, we got it. This is, I love it. We created a foldable NY slice, guys.

NY. NY. And no one says NY. I love New York or NYC. People say NYC. No one says NYU. It's like someone who went to New York who's like, oh, I'm such a New Yorker at heart. I love Greenwich Village.

And Houston Street. Awesome. I love going to Manhattan. I'm a big fan of the boroughs. What's a borough? I don't know. I don't know. And neither is pasta Pete. Kings is my favorite.

Well, we have our review of Marker's Pizza, but we need it for you. We need a few. Jesus. You review. All right, before we start getting into this. Which one should Jordan not read? Can Jordan get a break?

I think you got to pick. You just got a pick, man. Yeah, Jordan, you got a pick. They all seem equal length and... Probably equally racist. I read only one last week. Dude, I'll do the first... I want to say this two ahead of time.

I'll say Ada and Tracy. I want to say this before we get into this too because I said this in person afterwards. But I saw a comment that somebody left because it's always like the racist, you know... And somebody commented on our thing. They're like, guys, it is a real issue if they can't speak English.

I agree. There's not a single instance ever where they can't speak English. Right. Okay, what part of that don't you understand? You're trusting these people? No one there can't speak English. That is a lie.

That is a flat out lie. Yeah, because they're so truthful about everything else. You're like, hey, if you walk to the restaurant and no one speaks English, you can't order your food. That doesn't happen. That's never happened once. Do I believe people speak English as a second language? Yes. Do some people probably speak broke English?

Yes. Do I think every English speaker here bitching and moaning about it is perfectly capable of understanding someone that speaks English as a second language? Yes, they can. 100%. Yes, they can. Fuck off. But you know, these dumb motherfuckers

only speak one language like myself. They can understand someone who speaks more than one language even if it's a little bit hard. Yeah, okay? I can understand my kids

when they're two and it's like put those kids in the back. They're giving them shit but they can't understand them. Yes, they can. We have been talking for a week about how racist

the one was, put them in the back. And it's like, that's so insane. And it just set me off like when somebody in our comment section's like, It's a real problem if they can't understand them.

You're nuts. You're nuts. You're nuts for believing that they're not speaking English. We're going to hire you and put you right up in the register. No one is doing that. No one's doing that. The people who are writing these reviews go up to the person and they speak with a slight accent and they go, oh. Yes.

100%. And then they write about how. Yes. And they write like shit. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes. English is their only language.

And this is how they communicate. The other thing, too, which will happen sometimes. Right. If someone's like, they couldn't even understand me they had to get someone else. Oh, so they're accommodating you?

Yeah. Right. I met someone who had trouble speaking English. They got someone to help me. Oh, okay. Do I believe someone, again, as a second or third language

is like, fuck, like, uh, I, it's like, this irate white fucker. This freaking the fuck out. I should get someone. This guy's yelling at me.

You better help them. I'm going to get someone else. And that's also a complaint? Yeah. They got someone else. You're welcome? I wasn't. done with that guy.

Yeah. Anywho. All right, let's see. Let's see what A to B has to say. Okay. I'm sure it's nice. We ordered a pizza and wings. Space, period.

The pizza box was empty. Hold on, hold on. Maybe they can save this. How in the world can you send an order out like that? They also sent nine wings instead of 10. It might have been a blessing. Charge the whole amount for them. They looked terrible.

and were cold. Trashed them. I don't know if that means threw them away or like, like, no, they just trashed. I ate them. Piece of shit. I called the restaurant and was told to speak to Uber Eats as I ordered through them.

There was a lot of noise in the background. Duh. The was a lot of noise in the background. I would give them zero stars if that would have been a choice. Terrible service. What's? Which service? Because Uber eats

So they ordered Uber eats And got an empty pizza box If that actually happened Like that's, I would say that's Both the restaurant and Uber It's problem Yeah Yep

I laid the idea of calling the restaurant And going Oh that's Uber's problem But guys you gave them an empty pizza box What? Unless they were saying Unless they were saying Unless the Uber guy

That's absolutely Yeah The whole pizza I'm just saying And one wing Well He had to know Yeah

That is a real He had to know If you ate someone's entire pizza They looked like the wings we got And he was like Mm, I think that's not Well, I think what happened was He went, well, I could have a bunch of this pizza

Or I could just eat all the wings It's obviously eat the wings He ate one wing and he went Oh, I'm just pizza. He ate all the pizza to punish them. Pizza it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck, I ate that wing gross.

I can't even imagine the story Let's assume this is accurate. Uh-huh. What tail do you spin as the delivery guy handing an empty box? Right? Oh, here's your empty box. Bye.

Just leave it at the door and run. Well, apparently they believe them too, though, because they're like, I can't believe the restaurant messed up like this. You guys gave the Uber guy an empty pizza box. You gave him an empty pizza box and the sticker was broken. And the pizza was gone and so was one wing. An empty, greasy box. Yeah, exactly.

Damn. All right. Ariana E. Literally the worst experience I could have had. After two hours of waiting They would send it out Oh sorry sorry After two hours of waiting

I called the restaurant to ask where my pizza is I forget they forgot about it And said they would send it out I ordered at 1202 And got my pizza at 215 My order was a triple pepperoni With a garlic cup And cinnamon squares

One The pizza had basically no pepperoni on it And looked like they tossed it around the box Two No garlic cup Three The cinnamon and squares had no icing?

I don't even want to eat them now. Four, the delivery driver started harassing me via text after dropping off the pizza saying, quote, that outfit looked beautiful on you. Like, what? This was so absurd. I waited two hours for extreme disappointment

and a waste of money. Why are you burying the lead? Why would that be point four? Also, I think they got licked off all the a scene. There was no icing. It appeared to be licked off. Hey, baby, you look like a nice pie

because I could fold you. Oh, my God. What the fuck? Fucking wild. Yeah, that is an all across the board, not a great experience. Yeah, I'll be on. Like, at first I was like,

no way you're waiting two hours. And I'm like, fine, the fact that you had so much restraint that this was number four on your list. Five, my mom died. Yeah. Bad day Like

How is that not the first sentence? Right That should be the whole thing That's the whole thing That needs to be I'm filing a formal complaint Yeah It needs to be

This is it What are you thinking of the else This is not it It's three stars Yeah Pizza was fine Not great Can't wait to go back

Fucking Wow Wow Oh my goodness gracious Point four. Jordan, I'll read this last one. All right. You want to?

Yeah. I feel like I could ride into it. Okay, go for it. No, I didn't sprout it. I'm not saving you for anything. I just felt I'd take it from you. Go for it. Okay.

Tracy B says, for a place that used to have the best pizza in town, a great customer service. Wait, which one? All I can say is, meh. They got the order wrong. I asked for hamburger and mushroom.

And I got ham and mushroom. When I told them the order was wrong. Some young kid says I don't think we even have hamburger. The closest we have is ground beef. Um, ground beef is hamburger, which I stated to the guy. His

response was, why didn't you ask for ground beef? So customer service was meh. The pizza was meh. And I had to park at the end F the strip because the employees were taking up the close parking spaces. I know that. Right. Hamburger please.

Hey, hey. Can I get hamburger? A and pepperone. The young employee was right. Yes. It's called brown beef. Yeah, I was about to say. Why didn't you order ground beef? I don't know.

I get why you got ham by mistake. Did she order by phone? No, I could see if you have a dumbass hamburger pizza. There's a hamburger pizza. Right. It's not that. You just want a ground beef. Can I get hamburger and mushroom?

No. You're a fucking moron. You're the dumbest motherfucker. Hamburger and mushroom? You're a fucking idiot. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard Ground beef is hamburger You dumb

You dumb dumb dumb Ground beef is hamburger I guess taco is hamburger Granba hamburger Are you hamburger Pizza A hamburger is a Of course you got

Hattie sandwich Yes Of course you got That's a burger I don't like to The kid Said it correctly This guy went

Fucking idiot Can you get a lot of this guy telling me Hamburger is brown beef Brown beef? Yo, I'm ordering pizza. Who do you want to? You want a hamburger?

Yeah, you're right? Hamburger. I thought you were getting a pizza. Hamburger pizza. They have a hamburger pizza. I'm getting mushroom onions and a hamburger. What are you stupid? I think Cici's calls their ground beef pizza hamburger pizza.

Perfect example. I agree. I agree. I agree. I agree. It's probably got like different cheese. Hey, or it's not. It's ground beef.

He's referencing fucking C-C-Sys. He's probably right. All right, we'll get one pepperoni pizza. We'll get one Supreme. And we'll get one with hamburger and mushroom. Again, it's not even saying a hamburger because you're going to think. I want it with hamburger and mushroom. You want hamburger on it?

You want hamburger on top of your pizza? Do you want hamburger on your pizza? Little sliders. Hamburger. I just, I got to give it up for the guy who works there. Why didn't you want to? ask for ground beef. Oh,

my ground beef is hamburger? Check and made. Ground beef can make hamburger. Ground beef is in hamburger. Ground beef is in hamburger. Brown beef is hamburger.

I want I want hamburger on my pizza and I want to fold it big. I want a bag and folded. My hamburger on my pizza I want ice cream all my medicine. And I want Dr. Pepper coming out of the gas station.

I don't want to do upies with my girlfriend's speech. I'm back. He's abusing me. You should get one. Harder, harder, harder. Oh, man. Well, those are your reviews. Thank you for giving me that one.

I'm happy. That was good. That was great. But now, me. But now we have our review of Margo's NYXL pizza. You said Nick is sending us new and I just stop listening. Nick is sending us what?

Bush Let's see what it is It's just in case we forget It's tropical cafe Wow tiki torch wrap Four layers of flavor Spice Can I get hamburger and mushrooms

It's just such an old guy thing Is it old guy? It just sounds like stupid It's definitely stupid I don't even think old guy I think old guys are I want to be with hamburger And mushroom

Well they think that's New York style down in Florida. Speaking of the witch. Uh-huh. Holy shit. This fucking thing. Yeah, what do you think? What thing?

This is their big, they trotted out, six slices. Oh, my-hoia. Oh, the food we ate. This NYXL. We're going to New York pretty soon. I don't understand. Keep talking about big and fold.

Big and fold. Big and fold. It was big. It doesn't even really fold because the first thing they fucked up is the crust. The dough is not stretched thin. No, no.

It's very thick. Shut up. Especially at the end. Just the fuck up. Just the fuck up. Bro. I was telling you, I've been making pizzas at home, right? And I said the last one I bought dough from the pre-made from H-EB. Yeah.

Look how good that is. That's good. It's so much better than what we ate today. That's fantastic. That's like New York style. It's a great pizza. It was a big. No, it's a great thin pizza.

But it's super thin. It was crispy. It was thin all the way to the end. And crispy. Yes. I'll send it to you, Nick. I'll put it in the episode. Oh, okay.

The pizza. I put mushrooms, onions on myself. The dough on this thing. Under the cheese. Yeah, what do you think of the dough? Not crispy. What? Not like your, like, you're like, I don't know, your crack or crust or anything.

Like, that was not there. What the fuck, did you just call me? Yeah, you heard. And it was wet. I said it. Crust lover? Hey, you cracker crust lover. You want hamburger on your pizza or what?

Nick, I just texted it. Check it out. What do you think of that, though? But that's pretty good dough. Good looking pizza. That's a good looking. It actually is a good looking pizza. It was really good.

What looked the worst of all the food we got? Probably the nuggets. I was, I want to say nuggets. It's rude to nuggets. I mean, that tells you right there. That tells you right there how that it was. Yeah, the size, the shape, and the orange. I mean, the pizza, besides how it was cut.

The pizza, yeah, it looked at least like pizza. If I had to say the worst. Yeah, it'd be the, I thought I ordered bone in wings. But this pizza, like, why did they put garlic sauce on it? It tasted like Papa John's garlic sauce all over the pizza. I mean, and then it dripped everything about the pizza. It was driven drip. Nothing about it.

It was very New York. Other than I guess I folded it. It just triggered me today every single time a place does that. That's what they talk about. It's like it's big and folded, big and fold. I don't know. Like, call me crazy. When someone says, what do you associate with New York pizza?

It's just good. Foldability. Yeah. Good pizza. Foldability. Right. That's what they think apparently. Yeah.

We flew there ourselves to make sure we get it right. And then they got this. They got it so wrong. It just tastes good. Nothing about it is right. It's fucked up. It's fucked up. It's thin-ish.

Oh no, I'm just saying New York. Like, it's thinner. Like, that's their thing. It's not a deep dish. New York style is like thin, thin crust and good. It's not big. It's not fold. This thing is just such a mess and not even close to being a New York pizza.

I guess it's XL, but it's suddenly an N-Y. As in why did they do this? Why do they do it? No yummy. I'm giving it a. 16. Wow. Oh.

My- Jordan is the cutest pizza lover. Yep. Yep. Um. Smiley face. I'm not going to hit it with 16 hate,

but I didn't like it. I think sucked. I think I was just in a good mood today. Especially with all the driving around. Couldn't have a bean in the car. It's not, it wasn't good. It's not a good showing.

Jared's going to be disappointed for this episode. Jared's going to be. Jared. He's back in his bad places. Jared. Jared, it wasn't great. I'm gonna give it a 35. 35. No, 32. He already typed the 5.

That's fine. You can go back. 24. That's good. Good show. 24. Yeah, that thing sucked. There's mostly good seasons. Yeah, the first three.

I think they should just get it. And then seven. Cool. Well, it turned to four. That one? Is he really? No. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Huh? 24, I think, is pretty on the money for what we ate. It just wasn't close at all to what it was trying to be. I want a hamburger. I think what was crazy is that they were bragging about how much research they did. And this is what they came up with? These guys are idiots.

Their ovens don't even work. They ask chat, GPT. And Nick doesn't understand how that is. That might have been for the best. Yeah, that the oven didn't work. I like the idea, too, where I don't think of it as him being a smart ass. I'm like, what are you under ground beat? I think of him going.

hamburger, dude, why don't you say ground beef? Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And like, that's what we're like, oh, you wanted ground beef. Yeah, that's one, one, I can see why you got ham, because you said a hundred percent, where you got ham. And then they probably just matured you. And two, that's not what it's called. Nope. Yep.

Not at all. Kind of a twofold thing. Like this pizza. I mean, if you look at the toppings list, you won't you. It was like a tenfold. You won't find hamburger on their list of toppings. Hamburg. Hamburger. I want a hamburger. Never heard that before. Well, that's our review of Marco's NYXL.

But if you want to see us in NY and you haven't gotten your tickets yet, you're in luck. No, no, no, you're not in luck. What 100% live is in New York on Thursday, September the 3rd at Bell House in Brooklyn. The tickets are gone. Well, you might be able to find them on like Stubhub. Don't buy, don't buy secondary market tickets. What do you don't buy? This is not, we are sold out.

Try Ticket City. If you're listening to this. Try nixticks.com. He just started the website. He bought the 39 that we... If we sell tickets going forward, we need to make a website, nixticks.com. If you're watching this show and you already have a ticket, boy, are you holding gold? Yeah.

Go ahead. Resel that fucker. You can charge whatever you want. You could. There's no stopping you. I can't stop you. The market is whoever's willing to buy it. Do you have a ticket? Are you looking for a ticket?

Maybe just chat in the comment section. Okay? Work out a deal. There you go. should send money in advance. Oh yeah. I promise it'll be there for you. Absolutely.

No problem. It's like folded a big old pizza with hamburger. What could go wrong? And then why hamburger pizza? What could go wrong? Fold it up. Hamburger style. Anyway, we're excited about it.

Yeah, so we're going to be there. Tickets are sold out. It'll be a lot of fun. Gracie will be there too. That'll be a blast. Hopefully. If she doesn't get lost on the way. Was the hopefully Gracie or hopefully it'll be a blast?

Gracie. Hopefully, crazy. We're all the blast either way. I got on the wrong train. Crazy, you live here. What is this? 100% eat dot store for merch. You can also subscribe at patreon.com

slash 100% eats the best way to support us directly. Thank you for supporting us. You can also join at the $10 or $11 tier and get the Michael Jordan podcast every week. Get a new episode every week. You can also listen to every old episode or watch. You put it on your TV probably. Freak.

But you can sign up at the 100% fan tier and you can get a shout out, Jordan. You sure can. Got a long one here, but I think it's worth it. Okay. This is from Hart Par, Dal Pra. It's a very long name. Okay.

And with my sometimes speech impediment, that was hard for me to say. But it reads, meant to do this when I passed the bar last fall. Whoa. But I forgot until this promotion. Studying for the bar exam was awful. Imagine three months of working six days a week with no pay, all while dealing with the stress of knowing that your entire future would be determined by a 12-hour exam at the end of it all.

It was a special kind of hell, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Nick, you should do it, though. I bet you could pass without studying. Just imagine sauce monkey, esquire, monkey at law. I know all about torts and shit. You could sue your father-in-law for sauce stuff. That fucker. and Eric for, well, being Eric.

What the fuck? Oh, but we own two companies. I hated every second of it, but 100% eat, Regulation Pod, stinky dragon, and good morning from hell got me through, and I passed with flying colors. Hell yeah, way to go. Like, we should get some of the credit. Do we have licenses now?

So if the honorable judges, and Eric, ever need an advocate for food court, I'm willing to service council. This is very good to know. This is very good to know. Except for Burger King lovers, those guys know what. they're doing is wrong and feel no rewards. Yep, you're right. Number two, number two.

I'm so glad you guys continued after rooster teeth. Thank you all, thank you for all the laughs over the years and for fostering this amazing community. I hope you keep going until you're all in the old folks home with Eric. Hey, what the fuck? Folding our 20 year old girlfriend's. El-HEC style. Yeah!

Thank you, Hart. I thought that was a really nice much. That's very cool. Yeah, thank you. Congratulations. Continue. Congratulations. with people who have too many R's in their name for me to say,

Tanner Friar says, this is for my older brother, Dallin, a.k.a. Bag of raccoons on the Discord. That's awesome. That's a great. That's such a good name. I still have your goddamn screwdriver at my apartment, and if you don't take it next time you're here,

I'm going to, uh, I'm going to throw it directly into the sun. Okay. Yeah. Any way, love the show. Congrats.

Congrats whoever becomes the next cuck. Oh. Very nice. And finally, this one is from Ridge. And this one kind of bent the rules a little bit, but I'm going to allow it because this is pretty funny. Okay. So whoever really bought this 100% fan tier sent the link to this person to fill out? And it says, don't really know what this is.

An acquaintance of mine sent me this link and said for $100, I could win a trip to Texas and experience a lifelong dream of being a cuck. Is four guys my preferred viewing preference? No. But I'm willing to give it a shot. Oh! The meal before might be awkward. On another note, who's being hammered? Dude, that's really good.

All right. Well, if you want to sign up to be a 100% fan, you can get that, get your note red on air. If you pass the bar, you probably can afford it every month. You probably can. I'm just saying, yeah, almost. Congratulations. Congratulations. Keep it flowing.

Put us on retainer. That's what I'm talking about. And that's at patreon.com slash 100% eat. You can also follow us on Twitter, Instagram, a blue sky at 100% eat. And if you want to send stuff

for the PO box for 100% treat, which we'll probably do very soon, PO box 143241, Austin, Texas, 78714, 4, 4,000, 4,000, Austin, Texas, 7871-4. Oh, damn.

Thank God it was such a short episode, too. That was a crazy one. Yeah. Man. All right. Okay. Rate subscribe, Bill for him,

I show where you eat food and rate the food before Nick's paper in my water. Yes. So full soon. Oh! What the fuck?

What was that? Holy shit! He's throwing audio equipment. It was stuff for the Barbie. God damn. You know, Courtney worked hard on that. Bye. We'd unwrap it.

Monster. Bye. Bye. Stop saying bye. Bye. Bye. No! Hey, y'all's Kelly Clarkson

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