100% Eat - We Eat the Red Goop %% Taco Cabana Cheetos Flamin' Hot Rojo Wrap & Loaded Fries

Episode Date: March 17, 2026

This Nick Pick crosses the line. Our Heroes are being forced to eat cartoon food at this point. Taco Cabana teams up with Cheetos to make the most confusing slop we've ever encountered but it's okay because Nick got some sauces for himself then promptly threw them away. What score do you think the Cheetos Flamin' Hot Rojo Wrap & Loaded Fries will get? Spoiler: you're right. We're watching THE BEE KEEPER Wednesday March 25 @ 6pm CT with YOU. Go to Patreon.com/100percenteat to get access to the discord and join the hive. New beanie, new magnet, & NEW SHIRT this FRIDAY! https://100percenteat.storeAlso grab an autograph from Our Heroes https://streamily.com/100-percent-eat Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Buzz, buzz, buzz. Hey, it's Eric, and that sound can only mean one thing. That's right, we're watching The Beekeeper with you Wednesday, March 25th at 6 p.m. Central. That's 4 p.m. Pacific, 7 p.m. Eastern. You can get on the Discord where you can watch it live with us by going to patreon.com slash 100% eat. Watch the beekeeper again, or maybe for the first time, like Jordan, and you can see if you are part of the hive. Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Buzz. We'll see you there.

But for now, enjoy the episode. Marvel Television's Wonder Man An eight-episode series Now streaming on Disney Plus. A superhero remake. Not exactly what we'd expect from an Oscar winning director. Action!

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Only on Disney Plus. Welcome to 100% Eat the show where we try every fast food restaurants to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host Michael Jones alongside my co-host and my only co-host this time. Jordan, how are you? I'm good. Hey, can you keep it down? Just kidding.

We're having fun. But it's there if the money clears. Yeah. Chair is there. Until the chair is reclaimed. Evan's chair. I want to refer to, yeah, as the Evan chair. Yeah.

Wow. This can be yours. Naming rights up for grabs. Yeah. How much? Did we talk about... 15. Did we talk about his explanation?

I said 20. I don't think we did and we should. We've been saying a lot. I said we should be 20 now. If anyone else wants to get in the coach chair, Evan can come back for 15. Okay. I like that.

A little bit of a distance. It's something more. Yeah. Yeah. And that might come with taxes. So he said in the note, we're going to talk about this a little bit. Because this just happened.

This is very exciting last year's episode. We're still buzzing about it. We're buzzing. The flowers are still there. The flowers are still alive. It's how you know it's close to when we actually did it. I feel immediately infamous episode, Cuck chair. If you haven't done it, please watch the ride-along and the Michael Jordan podcast.

The ride-along is super-size. That's for all the lore is. We really cucked him out on the main episode, as was the offer, right? And even then, even then, we still talked to him a little bit. I watched it. I was going to say, like, in hindsight, we were providing much more interaction than we said we were going on. That's true. But in the moment, we were just like really

stoked that this was happening. I know. You think that during a situation like that, eyes don't meet. Things don't happen, even by accident? Oh, not by accident. Yeah. But you were merely establishing dominance.

You made eye contact in the middle? I think we established dominance when we got him at the airport, put a blindfold on him, tape his mouth shut and put him in the car. Which you'll see on the ride along. You'll see on the ride along. And we have him on the motorcycle.

Michael Jordan podcast. But he said in the note that we received with the check that he did a compliment crackle, 10,001, which made sense. Funny. What did he actually say? He said that he added the dollar

because he was afraid someone else had done it and he wanted to outbid them. Right. So he went with $1.00. I really like that. I told the fact that the idea that there were just getting so many checks for $10,000. I get that, but if we were a dollar,

it's like, when you buy a house, it's like, I'll go $1 more. Yep. I was like, I was like, Evan, I would have went more than a dollar. Just so you know, if there were multiple people, that wouldn't have made a difference. What made a difference is the goddamn cashier's check. Yeah. You gave us the money already.

Yep. That matters more than the dollar. But the idea that you think went, sorry, we got to go with this guy. I really, I really like. One dollar. I wanted to give the $1 more. I was afraid. that someone else was going to do it.

And I think Jordan went, there was no fear of a second person doing this on this side of the table. Until now. Yeah. Now, you better send the extra dollar. You might want to make it too. Well,

now what we need to do is. $20,000? What we need to feel good because it's too on either. Here's what we need to do now is, and I didn't care at the time. But now, we did too good a job selling the experience. We really did.

It looks like we cut them out. People don't know what a fun adventure he had where we went to lunch. It was like a two full day. It was like a two full day. with them. And that is now what we'll tell you we'll give you if you pay $20,000 if I'm sit in the chair. Because we kind of threw that in. We had sweetened the pot of it. And we didn't,

we're like, we're not going to let anyone know. We don't care if nobody knows. We just want to make sure he had a good experience. Wait, someone might pay if they knew. Hey, we'll pick you up at the airport. We'll blindfold the shit out of you. We'll let you pick the food. We'll go to dinner with you that night, then drinking afterwards. That was fun. And then we'll get barbecue the next day

for the low, low price of $20,000. We haven't even talked about going out that night and the guy who was going to get Michael in the back of that. I was ready. I was ready. There was a homeless guy trying to start something. Well, there was some sort of mix up that happened before we got there where like a guy's getting a guy walking out of the bar

told him he'd get him a cheeseburger or something of fries. And then he didn't. But then the guy was just yelling at the restaurant, not the guy who had already left. And then was yelling at us. Like, we worked there. And he was like, fuck you. Fuck you.

And I was like, Oh, yeah, yeah. But it was outside seating, and my back was to the street, and you guys were all facing me, and he would, dude, he paced back and forth. A hundred times? 30 minutes. It was so long.

Just let me know if it looks like he's going to try and hit me in the back of the head. Because I get the crazy doesn't bother me at all. Me and Nick, we were laser-focused on it. We were like making sure. He was just like, he was doing angry, like, pacing, like back and forth. Well, he set his shopping cart off to the side. He was just going, dude. He was going both with his feet and with his mouth.

Yeah. And that's the true awesome experience. You can get it. When he really dialed it in, I started answering him just going, right, right, right. Yeah, crazy. That sucks. He's like, you, fuck you didn't get my fucking burger. I'm like, we didn't.

That's on us. He stole the eraser. Yeah, one of like the racers. And he was like, he was hitting it with something else in his hand. Yeah, he's beating the shit out of it was. It wasn't a knife, so I wasn't concerned. But it was like a spoon or something. Evan got a, he got an experience.

That was an old research team font for drinking. He got so many experienced. He did. I would say the biggest experience he got wasn't the episode. It was Nick. Yeah. As we assume. We told him.

And we delivered. When we were just driving. When we were just driving. When we were just driving to lunch the next day and like, Nick going, ooh, he was like car captives. Evan is like telling a story.

Yeah. And then Nick says something and I'm like, what are you talking about? And Nick's time, Evan says he goes, what's going on? I was like, don't worry about. Yeah, it was just me and my only thought.

Don't worry about them. We keep talking to us. We want to know what you have to say. That was happening as soon as we picked them up. Yeah. It was so relevant. That's what I told him. I was like, don't worry.

Just talk over them. We're listening. My favorite part was when we dropped Evan off at the airport. Yeah, that was my favorite part too. The next day. And then we left it. So what if the episode never comes out? We talked about it.

This is the idea. This is for Evan, I will say, specifically. He literally, we dropped him off, shut the door. I went, fucking Christ, finally. And then we all laughed. And then I said, we should. should just not put it out. Yeah, and we all

jokingly talked about like, the Bill Murray joke and was like, no one will ever believe. What if we did? What if we immediately filmed another episode a different episode. And he was like, what the fuck? And we talked about going to Taco Polenke last week.

So last week, and he was just going, what? But yeah, that would be a one person experience. Crazy. I wouldn't put it past the show. All the work we'd put in just to mess with the one person.

Exactly. And we certainly, would do it. And it's not like hey, that'd be mean, let's not do it. It was just more work. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I'm tired. Oh, that was definitely where it landed was just like, I'm just like. But it's funny.

Very funny idea. So it was a fun episode. Go back and watch it. It's the first time I've seen a man pay $10,000 to eat McDonald's for the first time. One. Yep. That was $1,000. Never had the fries. Never had the fries or the burger. That was his first PM McDonald's experience. Usually I'm here in the A.m. This is my first

PM McDonald's. I mean, even then. you gotta get the before 10.30. Yeah. You're still an hour and a half. You got a. You got a hurt for a little bit. Yeah.

But we did a fun episode of the Michael Jordan podcast with Evan. No better than a whopper. Took him out to barbecue the next day. That was fun. Yeah. Yeah. That was a good time.

He got a solid Rudy's experience. Oh, I will say. What I got, the satisfaction of a perfect order. Oh, yeah. I was right enough. You should be so, riding so high off that still.

Put that on your resume. God damn. Five guys, which is more guys, than you ever go with typically. Five. And we're not talking burgers. No. And to nail the order of exactly how much brisket and ribs and all this stuff.

And I think you left with like three ribs. Three ribs and literally a bite of sausage. And you were like, well, I'm saving this. Yeah, yeah. And I did eat it. It was really good. I was like, it's so little. It's like why save it.

And I think you were really, because it's good. I'm not going to get rid of it. Crazy. Because we were waiting in line. We got up there and you were in front doing the ordering as you do the ordering. But also this is not the show. It was just regular lunch style.

We got right up to the front and I could see your anxiety. And you went, so I think I might lean on you. I think I'm on you for this one. I went, you, I'm into, I got it. Dude, walked up, boom, boom, boom, boom. Hit it all. Yeah. Nailed it. Nailed it.

When you ordered the food, did the person go one pound? They didn't. Believe it or not. You what I said how many pounds did you say you want? I said I wanted a pound and a half. One pound? And they gave me a pound and a half. Oh.

And then I wanted two pounds of ribs and they gave it two pounds of ribs. One pound. Interesting. One? One? One. Right. Oh, you want to...

That was today. You want to shrimp. We almost got... Where? Well, at Taco Cabana with their Cheetos Flaming Hot Roa Wrap and loaded fries.

Yeah. Oh, that Nick pick. Look. You're welcome. Before we went into the ordering experience, I do have to raise a concern. And that is, I think, Nick's influence is growing too much.

I agree. Well, because Eric keeps letting him pick. But that's his fault. He literally is like Nick Pickett. Can I explain? Can I explain the reasoning for allowing? You mean, explain yourself? Yes.

Let me explain why the Nickpick to me was crucial for this one. You wanted to make him look bad? Yes. He was riding too high off Taco Polanke. Yeah, but... I always look good, bitch. But I just feel like it's been three out of four episodes as Nick Picks. Right, right.

Because he's riding too high off of Taco Polankic. We had a shit one. Yep. We had a really good one. Right. And then we had... And then we had McDonald's. And then now we're back at Taco Cabana, which he picked.

It was okay. What I also don't understand is Nick, who's a famous Taco Cabana, like, they're dead. They're like past their prime. Like, that's not good anymore. Being like, hey, let's go to Taco Cabana. It might be good. He does say that every time.

We go anywhere. Could be good. It might be good. Did you say stopped clock? Right, twice a day. Yeah. A working clock is right the whole time. Yeah, but you know, but if you, they're not a working clock.

If you order food from the broken clock, maybe, maybe it might be good. What? You just got to get it at the right time of day. It boils, you know? When in Rome, building in a day. I'm boiling. Yeah, oh yeah. Is it from all the hot Cheetos?

Yeah. Yeah, that is just so humid out. Oh, it's like weird. It's rain, it's rain hot. It's like Florida. It's gross. It's rain hot. It is like Florida.

Yeah. Taco Cabana. Kind of in general. I've only had it after the bad times. Yeah. I guess. Yeah. I mean, mostly not good.

Yeah. I've only ever had it on the show. It's fine to not good would be my range. It's never been good. They did bring back the salsa bar. They did. It's okay. So we went like two years ago.

What's funny is he can't say it's okay with when he threw away all the sauces. No, that's because it didn't match. It did match. With the food. That wasn't a knock on the sauce. That was a knock on the food. I thought he said that it was. Bad. No, it was a bad match.

Okay. Well, you also saying it's a bad match. You're like, this would be good for this. Yeah. That's why he got rid of it. Yeah. And I guess two were bad. I missed that part. Yeah, too. The ranch was funky. He was really hard to keep up. I missed that. It's hard to keep up with it. The ranch was funky and the brown sauce. Oh, the range was funky? The brown sauce.

The range sauce. The range was the first one he picked. Like when we went in all the sauce he got just for himself because we crucified him. So he was punishing us to. There's too many things. Just like Dick Grants. I'm a green. Just like Christ, he is, he is punishing us for our sins. Other people were crucified. Yeah.

So, Nick, I can name a few. One, sauce monkey. That's what I'm saying. Get me down. Get me down. See me doing it hurts. Nick went over to the salsa bar, scooped all of his sauces. Well, what's funny is I pointed out and went, ooh, salsa bar expecting to be now shit.

Yeah, because it sucks. No, it's been replenished. And that was going to be the joke was Nick was going to walk over and shit on it. Yeah. As usual. And then he was like, and he's like, they brought some back. So he was really excited again. They brought green and brown back.

I got more excited pictures. And Nick looking at green and brown. And ranch, but not good. Funky ranch. So then as we were leaving, we get the food, which we haven't talked about the or her again. But we got the food. We're leaving. Don't worry.

We're taking some detours. We're leaving. And Michael goes, Nick, you got the sauce. And Nick, you got the sauce. Yeah, for me. Yeah. See, I even had the, I saw I'm scooping it. And I was like, wow, these sauces look pretty good.

And we just had Taco Polenke and they had a bunch of sauces. And they were all pretty good. So I was like really, really interested. And insisted on getting enough for everyone. So I saw the same thing and went, I'm not going to bother. Didn't even mention it. Nick will get sauce for us. And it's not just that he didn't get it.

He didn't tell us any yet. So we're walking out. He's like, I'm just for me. You crucified me. Last time I got sauce for everyone, I was crucified. Yeah. Everybody was like, man, life is here. That's just for you.

Yeah. We did do that. I'm still waiting for that to be the crucifixion. That's what it was. I'm not arguing we did that. Right. Right now, explain where you got crucified. Right there.

Right there. In that moment. You guys made some joking comments about me. And if you look in slow motion, you can say, this is the moment I get crucified. Do you think the story? Toss Monkey is the second most famous person to ever be crucified. I think we can make him the most famous. And I feel like is it too taboo?

Can we make that merch? Is that a shirt? Oh, God, no. Why? No, no, no. I said to do it. Oh, we sell a little chotchky. Yeah.

He should be sideways. You know how like Paul did it? We can do it in a funny way. Someone did it upside down. Uh-huh. So you go sideways. I don't know. You see the new Pope?

He's pretty cool. I think he'd be down with it. Yeah. You'd be like a buddy Christ type situation. I like this. So we just have to buy. a bunch of, we can buy a bunch of like small Jesus on the crosses and then we just put

little monkey masks on all of them. There you go, there you go. I think that I'm thinking of something a little more loose than that. Oh, you think so? Yeah, something silly. Like, we can crucify him in a funny way. I think we put it, we put him, we kind of put him in that pose. I want to change my phrasing. We put him with that pose and he's looking, he's looking, you are hammered.

Yeah, I got hammered. Oh, you mean the phrase we use all the time? The things, point it out? say specifically for this show hammered? Well, how else did you get him up on that cross? Exactly. I was going to say it. I'm getting hammer. When exactly did we hammer you?

Nick is climbing down from the cross going, guys, I was not crucified. Fellas, fellas. In fact, I'm going to build a bridge and get over it. We'll come up with some. So Nick got sauces for himself, hated the sauces, threw them away.

No one else tried any of the sauces. That's okay. I didn't want. You know what, though? He was right. I saved you from himself. He saved us. Yeah, like Jesus Christ.

Yep. He saved us from our sins. You didn't save Eric. When he needed your help the most. No, you know what? I think he did his best, which was just get out of there. No, he did.

I left you beat. You did. You did. You didn't get the dessert. But I didn't bother you. He didn't bother you. Also, we wouldn't have gotten it. Also, I was thinking the whole time I was standing there

how I was going to like poke you. And even then, it was too much. Yeah, right? Like Jordan got out of there immediately. Yeah. It was so... And then even Nick lingered, and even Nick walked away.

It was after Eric pointing... After I'm picking up... Over and over again. You did it like... Four of these. And then she went, One? I was like, I was like, I am...

I'm gonna go sit down. Here's the thing. There was no language barrier. There was just like a confusion. You know what it was? She was a little... She was probably a little older than us. But she was like...

like Gen Z stare. Yeah. When I came up, that's just you. People just look at you like that. And it was like, man, I don't know about this. She looked at me and went, and I went, hello, can I get four of the Flamen Hot Cheetos Rojo Rap meals?

And she went, that. And it said, the thing, and it just said, crispy shrimp taco. And I went, I need that. No, that's not what we were doing. But it's also limited. But that's not what...

For a fucking limited time. You should have him have it. This is what he saved you from going back to. He didn't save that. I left you back. This is what I'm also saying is the problem. Like, Nick's like being like, well, maybe we should just get that. Like, like, the way it played out with him like suggesting a P. Terry's thing that was breakfast only.

And then going, how about this Taco Cabana menu? And then I was like, how about Taco Bell? And then you were like, we'll do Taco Cabana. Uh-huh. And then Nick was like, Nick was like, here's what we should get. Off the menu. And I was like, this is too much.

Like Nick is, I liken him to the guy who's like whispering in the king of Rohans here, turning him gray. Oh, the goblin man. Yeah. I call,

I'm not evil. I call them Greek. The king's like, I call him Grima sauce tongue. Jordan's not welcome here. He's not, I'm joining him great. George is any other character going,

why are we letting this guy talk to the king? Yeah, what the fuck? Guys, I'm just like, I'm just saying, I'm just like every week. I'm vindicated.

Listen, I'm getting more and more. I needed to... I don't think that's true. I needed to get... I needed to get Nick to have another pick, so that way... Oh, it's definitely off the rails. Could show what Nick's picks were all about. So then technically it is your fault of what you had to deal with.

Oh, that's fine. Yeah. No, that's weird. That at the register is a total... Like, that is such a fucking bizarre occurrence. Because it was... So how did it end up playing out after I walked away? Oh, okay, so it was...

Can I get four of these things? this? And I went, no, it's shrimp taco. I want this. And she's like, that's what I put. Oh, she literally went, yeah, it's on there. And I went, and I went, and I went to shrimp. Nope, said shrimp. And she went, oh, and then deleted it. And then I went, I picked up the display and I went

four of these, the meal, the flaming hot Cheetos. And she went, oh, okay. One? One. And I just went, no, four. And she went, oh, and then deleted it. What was it? And then. Did she ask you about the meal? Yeah. Yep.

So then I went, I think that's when you walked off. Yep. Flaming hot. It just kept going. Four? Yeah. Just the item or the meal? Four of the meal. All four of the meal.

Okay. And then you were like with the loaded fries. Yeah. What else? Loaded fries? What size? What? For the meal.

What? Medium. him. And what sides do you want? Yeah. And then it was sides. Like there's no. What?

Sides. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't. Sides or sides? Two of the loaded Flaming and Hot loaded fries. Dude, even at that point. And it was like, it was literally.

Dude, picking up the display four times and just pointing. So there was going to. He was the railing like to wait in line. He was on the register side. And I was fine. And I was just like leaning. I didn't say anything about. I was thinking about it the whole time.

Man. thinking about poking him and I didn't, but I was just there. His head was like here. I wasn't even like upset. I was so confused and I didn't know. Because that makes it even... It was so real and like raw

as well. I was like this isn't even funny. It just felt like it makes a 64 video. Yes, yeah. What makes it even harder for Eric too though, I will say, even his brain actman here, he's much nicer in person, like lying where he's like, oh, it's okay. It's okay. No, no problem. No problem. They didn't feel that way.

But that makes him even, but that makes him even angrier that he's still like being cordial. When him going, no, four, he's like, no, four, four, four. Yeah. And then at the end, four, no, four.

She asked you how many drinks. Yes. And we got meals. Four, we got four. Four. And she went, oh, it was like, four, four drinks. What he wanted to go out of talking about.

Four! It was, I just don't know. I'm just leaning behind him. I can feel his essence. I just don't know what else I could have done to like fix it. Say four again.

Oh, dude. Maybe one more would have got. God damn. And then we were talking, it was like... But did we were talking to it was like 50-50 that we got the right food? But I think we got... I think we got the right food? Unfortunately, we got the right food.

I even think, I said, I think our chances were less than 50. Yes. Yeah. And we still got it. Like, it was... We got the wrap. We got the loaded fries. We got the goop.

We got the flameters. We got the floged us. So itty. At Desjardin, our business is helping yours. We are here to support your business through every stage of growth, from your first pitch to your first acquisition. Whether it's improving cash flow or exploring investment banking solutions. With Desjardin business, it's all under one roof.

So join the more than 400,000 Canadian entrepreneurs who already count on us. And contact Desjardin today. We'd love to talk. Business. Uh, where are my gloves? Come on, heat. Winter is hard, but your groceries don't have to be. This winter, stay warm.

Tap the banner to order your groceries online at voila.ca. Enjoy in-store prices without leaving your home. You'll find the same regular prices online as in-store. Many promotions are available both in-store and online, though some may vary. But before we get into the food, do you guys want to learn about Taco Cabana? You said there were some good facts. You said there was a lot of facts. Well, I had a lot to choose from.

Oh, I see. Yep. You got the fucking... Yep. Restaurant name right. Yeah, I did. Make sure, right. All right.

Our last Taco Caban episode was on July 30th, 2020 foe, where we ate the Taco Cabana Street Food Fest. They received an average rating of 22. That was the one that took about 45 minutes to get. Go back and watch that ride along. It's just us inside the restaurant. Stand-along. Yes, yeah.

This was a nick pick. Last time we had Taco Cabana, it was also Flaming Hot Cheetos food. Are you Cheetos monkey now? Little Cheeto monkey loves his Cheetos. Punch would never. Fuck Punch. Whoa.

Gracie, you heard it. She didn't hear this. It was, if you guys remember, it was Flaming Hot Cheeto Taco thing or whatever, because they were the staleous Cheetos. Yeah. We had ever eaten.

That I remember. That I remember. So what? They got a deal with Chito Citos. Are the cheetahs? So the Cheetos aren't from last year? No, these seem like new Cheetos.

Were they fresh? Yeah. I also didn't have any. But it's crazy that Nick picked it and it's the Flaming Hot Cheetos again, which is crazy. Punch would look at a list of foods and make a very like...

Punch would have picked Taco Bell. Oh, dude, Punch definitely would have picked Taco Bell. And then he would have carried on a little stuffed dog. Yep. And then Nick would have pushed him. A little Boisembery snoop or something. Nick would have pushed him over. I was like, no, I'm in charge.

I am. And then the internet would have sided with punch Because Nick pushed the monkey over Oh, you think they'd saw it was talking? I just think it's more of a monkey, monkey This monkey doesn't want to share the spotlight Yeah, I think it would at least be a conversation I don't think it'd be full against it.

Oh, Nick would definitely be trying to make it a conversation Yeah, yeah, I would be excited to have a conversation I would be excited to see how Gracie weighs in on that conversation And she sent a punch video the other day And I said Nick would hate this and she wrote fuck him Her anger is growing The punch situation Fuck him

No, fuck you No, I said fuck punch You want to make sure we got that We're all clear, yep Yeah, okay, yeah We're all clear and we all know And we know whose side Nick is on A new margarita hit the TC menu this year

The Chimoid Cherry Bomb Margarita And it was created by a fan We don't know if they're still taking submissions For new items, but we're thinking of submitting the close all your locations burrito because we figure the better 20 years ago nachos aren't going to make the menu, they were better 20 years ago, right?

They were. Blaine told me this morning. Blaine told me this morning. 15 years ago they were better. Fuck it. I'm like, oh, we're going to talk a cabana today and he's like, ooh, you guys are about 20 years too late for that one.

And I'm like, I've been hearing that. You did tell us, but then you picked it. It could be good. 20 years too late. Told you. Let's go. Like, I didn't pick it. I suggested it. That's different.

It's a Nick Yeah That's a Nick suggestion Dude he's He's retconning He's wrecking I never said dipsy-do This is like Kim Paxton

Trying not to go to jail I told my wife about Nick telling me Slippery like an eel That we're gonna do a dipsie do And she just went Is he okay And I No

I mean decidedly not I went no because on the way back He said I didn't say that And she went Where's your proof And she went No Really, is Nick like, okay, is something happening with him?

It was just doing me. I was sick. You hadn't had an orovirus yet? I was in the process of getting it. It was, he knew. It was pre-sick. He was laying the groundwork. He was pre-sick, yeah.

I was. Dude. After that dude. Taco Kapan is under fire for unpaid rent and property damage after finally closing locations in San Antonio and neighboring cities. The lawsuit claims that Taco Kavana owes over $85,000,000,000. in property taxes and back rent plus another $35,000 in delinquent rent from last year. Has Dhaka Gabana considered renting out cuck chairs?

It's been working for us, honestly. Many are saying there are new chair opportunities for as low as $20,000 now, which might be our seed fund to open our own Taco Cabana, which will quickly close and abandon, leaving a stain on the community. Well, we won't pay any rent on it or property taxes. We got to open it. And then we got a real quick, just close it really, really, really good. Well, we don't close it really fast.

We open it and then stop paying really fast. And then just closes when it gets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we should open it, but also not staff it or have any food or anything. Just like see what happened. It's a bunch of like next walking in going. Every chair in the restaurant was a cup chair? Yeah.

Technically. Damn, dude. Oh, you want to eat here? It's going to be about 20,000. Yeah. You better bring yourself and some more guys. Phase two. More money, God damn you.

Yeah. More guys means more money. Right. I think if it was just one guy was more money, that'd be pretty good too. But more is better. That's phase one. More is better. That's phase one.

We did that. Phase one was one guy with a lot of money. Check it off the list. I'm also okay with the next guy just having more money. No. No, you got to plus it up. Can't do it. Even if someone says, I have $20,000 limit.

If someone says I have $20,000, you come with your friend. Okay? And make sure you both have more guys and more money. Both. Then you come here. Then you come here. Then you. come here. How do you spell it?

It's up to interpretation. I've interpreted it. All right, the final fact. Benito Erilano, 19, said he worked at Taco Cabana and was sitting in the kitchen on a break with a firearm in his pants when it suddenly went off, striking him in the groin. Plaquesico Burris? According to court documents,

Erilano told officers, he did not know where the firearm was and refused to say where he had placed it after he was shot. He was charged with unlawful carry and tampering with evidence. Honestly, we might hire this guy. He can be our Plaxico Berris. That jokes for the real ones. Yeah.

When I wrote it last night, I'm like, Jordan and Nick are going to love a Plaxico Burris show. Laxico Burris was a New York giant. He shot himself in the leg when he went to a club, wore sweatpants, put a gun in the belt of his sweatpants. It fell and went off and he shot himself. Right.

Awesome. Almost exactly in the same spot. It's like the upper groin. He did Benito's style. Yeah. I love, reading about the story. Not bad bunny. No, different one.

No, not that. Reading about this story, it was great where it was other workers were telling the story and saying, I was doing something at the register and I heard a loud bang that I thought was a firework, but it hurt my ears. And then Benito started jumping up and yelling, call an ambulance. Then he went into the bathroom. room for like 10 minutes and then finally came out when the cops

arrived and he was like guys can you flush a gun is that possible? They said that he ran out the back door and then came back again why he run out if you wanted to call an ambulance because he had to hide the gun like I know but you know that like you get that shit handled. It's

so funny like he shot himself in the leg and then he went but if the gun is missing how do you explain the gun wound in your leg. In a random person. Could have been a drive-by. He got, he shot himself in the leg, and then when the cops arrived, said, I don't, there's no gun.

I don't know what happened. And then they took him to the hospital and the nurse went, well, yeah, this is a gunshot wound. Here's the bullet. And then the cops went, all right, so we're going to charge this guy with tampering with evidence. Somebody else shot it. Who knows? Can't check the prints on the gun if you don't have the gun. That's what I'm saying.

You, Scott Free. Right. But you can, you can take the bullet hole and do a 3D scan. And then recreate the gun. Yeah, that's how we catch the Joker.

Yeah. That's how we catch the Joker. Finally. The Joker did it. The Joker did. We would do something like that. Just shoot a guy in the dick. Yeah.

And then go, he-he-he-he-he. Yeah. But would the Joker go to Taco Cabana? No. No. That is too sick of a body- I'm trying to think of what colored supervillain

goes to Taco Cabana. Joker's too white. Yeah. Is that what you meant, Eric? Yeah, right? That's what you meant. And Michael means white face pink. Yeah.

Yeah. I do. I was going, like, his color scheme is kind of like green and purple or whatever. The Harley Quinn show on like HBO? No, was it good? Yeah. It's very good. It's really good.

Oh, really? Like, Joker, like, gets married and speaks Spanish. because he's married to like, uh... It's also Alan Tudik. Yeah. Oh, really? And he goes to Taco Cabana? He doesn't go to Taco Cabana.

But it is funny to, like, he's like a stepdad and he like speaks to speak. Yeah, he ends up getting a family. What the fuck? It's really funny. It's really funny. It's crazy. Yeah, it is. Damn.

Anything can happen to Taco Cabana. Right, that doesn't happen there. Oh, that's not in the show. Sorry, I keep getting confused. Uh, they have Kite Man, though. What? Yeah, and then he got a spin off. I didn't watch that.

I didn't watch the show. I don't watch the show. I don't watch the cut. Was he a stepdad also? No, he was, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he broke up. He's like a bro. Oh, yeah. He's like too much of a bro. Oh. Does he go to Taco Cabana? And he always calls poison,

like, Hey, babe. Babe, I gotta fly my kite. And then he's like, he's just like, push the button. The kite comes out,

but then he just like, gets it stuck a lot inside. I don't remember kite, man. That's cool. What a good pull. Yeah, they pull out some deep cuts

just to make fun of them in that show. Yeah. She has a, She has a talking plant that's voiced by J.B. Smooth. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. That's cool. Yeah, it's a good show. J.B. Smooth is cool. I like J.B. Smooth. He's a great guy.

I might watch the show. It sounds like fun. I recommend it. It's real good. I've been watching 60 seconds of the Lincoln Lawyer on TikTok a lot. It's a movie? No, no, it's a TV show on Netflix. Oh, they made it a show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think about watching the TV show more than 60 seconds?

No, I feel like I kind of got the gist. And it's cool. Like, I don't really read articles. I just, like, I don't need, I already know everything. No, I don't really know everything. No, I don't really know why he's called the Lincoln lawyer. In these 60-second clips, is he a vampire runner? No.

At least in the movie, he drives a Lincoln. Oh, that's what I remember. He's mostly in a courtroom, the Lincoln lawyer. Well, if you go beyond 60 seconds. Is his car, is his car in the courtroom? Hang on. Does he, like, park it in there? No.

Wait. No. How do they get it in there? He's watching it. He's watching it vertical. I have just, it's just, it's just, they crop it out every time. I love the idea of making a show where a character, if you watch it actual

in like widescreen normal, the character's there, they don't really do anything. They're just kind of like agreeing or disagreeing, but they don't like say anything. But then if you watch it vertical, that character's nowhere to be found. That's awesome. It would be cool for a show to like totally have

different context and connotations depending on which format you watch. It just has like a group of people on either side of the characters going, Yeah. They're making a bad decision. Or it's going, beep, beep. Yeah.

Oh, the Lincoln lawyer's here. You can tell by his car. Do you guys learn a lot? Yeah. If you watch, Harley Quinn, make sure you watch it in regular TV format.

Okay. And because I want, you might get cut off when they, when her impoisoned out, you fuck, you don't want to miss that. Yeah.

That's a high-fi. It might be like, yeah. I thought you're going to high-five Jordan too. No, it's like a side boob off to the, oh, hell, like it might get cut off. Oh, yeah.

Just make sure you're watching full screen. Always. I watch it in four by three. That's the best. Oh, wire style. Yeah, absolutely. But you look at the original. Taco Cabana as a restaurant is a confusing premise to me.

Why so confuse you? Because I don't know what it, I don't know what niche it's served. It's serving the niche of tacos. It's not like back home? No. No. It's not even like Taco Bell.

It's not even like Taco Bell. But it's not like Taco Bell. But it's like, but it's authentic. right? No, but it's close. Right? And I'm sorry? They used to have more plates. Oh, like plate style. But now they kind of pivoted to chips

and fikis. Right, like what I'm saying is that I don't understand what I don't know. I don't know. quantity. Like they used to have more plates and stuff. No, I like, I get what you're saying. They're right plate shortage. My brain went too like, never recovered. You need to buy more. Um, again, it is very much, I guess this is like the same

thing with like Del Taco. It's like, what is Del Taco really doing? Because they just, it's a taco restaurant. They just keep closing the fuck out of those. And then Taco Cabanas appear to be closing at a rapid rate too, but just abandoning ship. Well, I mean, Del Taco and Taco Cabana are just bad restaurants. Is Del Taco a bad restaurant? Is Del Taco a good restaurant? Yeah, I don't.

That's a good question. I don't think it's a good one. It's a good question. I want to do a Del Taco. I want to do a Del Taco episode. Oh, Joy. It's time to eat del Taco. Oh, joy.

Oh, joy. There's the whole thing where Gracie was in L.A. And texting as it was like, you guys are always talking about Del Taco. I finally went to Del Taco. I'm going to get it. And it's like, don't do that. Yeah. I was like, oh, no, not if you're there.

That's a great point. And then she even went, this is not worth any effort. I was like, we tried to tell you. Yeah, no, it's a great point. I hadn't considered that. Maybe Del Taco is a bad restaurant. Maybe. We don't know.

It might be. We won't find out today. You have a choice. You're hungry for tacos. There's a Del Taco to your right. There's a King Taco to your left. Which one do you go to? Velvet Taco.

You got a Velvet Taco. Nice. And you get Buffalo Taco. They opened a Velvet Taco. in Austin, didn't they? Yes. Velvet taco, Torchise Taco Polenka.

It's in Round Rock. Taco Palenca. I think there's one close. These are all restaurants cut from the same cloth. Taco Cabana is just the bad one. There's one closer than Round Rock.

There is. It's on, it's gotta be... There's one on Burrne. I only get the Buffalo. Guys, there's one over. It used to be... I don't know. Uber Eats brings it to me.

It's right next to... They open late. Oh, we didn't talk about how you went to a different McDonald's. Oh, yeah. The big arch. It was way better. got it the other day.

We say it went to a different McDonald's like next to the aristocrat. There's like a million of a little. Oh, it's fine. It used to be happy chicks there, I think. I had another big arch the other day. Yeah. Which used to be fly right.

Yep. Even better than the first time. Yeah. My bottom bun wasn't burnt. Oh, and more sauce. More sauce. Oh, the more sauce.

Did the sauce make a difference? I mean, it was better. Yeah. Made it better. You gave it like a 92 if you had to regret it. Oh, no, no, no. I think gave it like a 90.75. Yeah, yeah.

I'm saying this one. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, this one, 92. I did update it, like, when I texted. Yep. Very interesting. I think what that really confirmed for me is that the one we keep going to is the bad McDonald's.

And so we should just go to different ones. Why did you do this? Did you text Gracie? Who picked, no, who picked the McDonald's, Nick? Evan, who was driving? Okay, he didn't pick that McDonald's. Yeah, he didn't pick McDonald's. Yeah.

He didn't pick the location. That's close to the house. Nick was in control the whole time. Yeah. And was going to go to a different one, I think. He was real back and forth on it. It was for no reason. I couldn't remember if there was an off ramp there or not.

Couldn't remember. So it went the other way. And he wouldn't help you. He wouldn't. He laughed. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Ha! He said. In the back. Ha! Good luck. That was a good two days of Nick driving because we needed the kidnap mobile. So Nick got his big kidnap car. And Evan was in the third row.

And so Jordan was in the front with Nick for two days. And he was like, get me out of here. And I kept saying, well, you always sit in the front. You like the front. Yeah. The front's nice when. And Eric kept saying he was in the back with his friends somewhere. Yeah, we were waiting for them to show up.

Yeah, he kept saying, well, no, because he was in the way back. Yeah. So like, all the friends were in the second row and I kept looking around. But Jordan was like, help me. Anybody? Help me. Well, Jordan, do you want to learn about the food? We just did.

that's what you think. Let's see what they say about this. There's more? Yeah. Cheetos, flaming hot, Koso Rojo loaded fries. Crispy fries topped with Taco Cabanas. Exclusive Cheetos, Flaming Hot

Koso Rojo. Seasoned ground beef and sour cream. But they're kind of underselling it here. Yeah. Because this Koso Rojo business, it's like, they put it on everything. Yeah.

And there's no line here explaining exactly what that is. So I had to look it up because it's a part, it's a different part of their press release. Okay. Do they have? Toco Cabana's signature queso, is it signature Koso, is infused with the unmistakable Cheetos flamen hot flavor profile to create

layered heat, savory depth, and a signature red color that reflects its intensity. Rich and spicy, the Koso is designed to command attention and strike unapologetically bold flavor. I got Struggle right. Wow. It's all that.

It is red. I was going to say of all those things, it's definitely. It is strictly red. It is, it's almost pink. It is. It's like the Taco Cabana pink color. It's crazy. And that is the most striking thing about it is just like, look at the color here. Michael's showing you on the video. Here's how red it is. This is what it looks like. I thought it was like something else. Yep. Yeah. It looks like salsa. Yeah. It's messed up. Like it's Chalula or something, but it's it's caseo. It's so red. This is cheese. It made me not want to eat it.

And they put it on, well, I'll read here. They also put it on the wrap meal. This is the Cheetos, Slaming Hot Casso Rojo wrap meal. Gotcha. A value forward combo. What? How many? One.

How many do you want? Four. A value forward combo featuring the Cheetos Flaming Hot Casso Rojo wrap. A cabana refresher, a two ounce bag of Cheetos, Flaming Hot, and a side of the exclusive. So, am I meant to put that on the taco? On the taco. Yeah, has it? Yes. Yeah, I mean, I was dunking. So, the hot roho, the Flaming Hot Rojo wrap had to look it up separate, because again,

it's not on their press release, what it is. Crispy chicken tenders drizzled with T.C.'s Exclusive Cheetos Flaming Hot Rojo. Stop calling yourself T. That's Taco Cabana. Yeah. Don't call it that. Don't call it the OC. So that's what it is. It felt like every time I took a bite, I felt like we had gotten the wrong food. I was like, this can't, this can't be it, but it must be it. There's so much of this on the wrap. There's so much on it.

It tastes like, it looks so red and tastes almost like, it looks like nothing. Bit into it. The smell. Yeah, the smell's not great. Yeah, I wanted to open it and smell it and he took it from me. Well, I thought you were going to pop it out of my hand. It made me nervous. Who the fuck is going to clean it up?

I'm just saying, yeah, exactly. Why the fuck would I do that? It's a great point. I was outrageous. I took a bite of the wrap and like just got like a pocket of sauce in the corner and like pulled it away and like it was all like leaking out of the. Yep. That's part of the experience. It was just like I felt like it was my blood or something.

Right. Did you get it on your hands? It looks like you've killed a man. It was so unpleasant to look at. It was like my appetite immediately disappeared. No. You're like I don't like that. It's the texture of the queso.

Yeah. It was so strange. I, especially after the whole ordering kerfuffle with Eric, which I was there for the entire time, even if it went perfectly smooth, I probably wouldn't have been paying attention anyway, but it didn't go smooth. All the way back to here, I was eating the fries first, loaded fries. I took a bite of it and went, this chicken? That's what I'm saying? It just feels like I was expecting me.

Yeah. I just went, this chicken? Yep. Oh. Yep. Oh, press material? Didn't know until it was in my mouth as usual. Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything.

Like packing a spare stick. I like to be prepared. That's why I remember, 988, Canada's suicide crisis helpline. It's good to know, just in case. Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder anytime. 988 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada. We wanted to open 2026 with a launch that is loud. Satisfying and impossible to ignore.

Which is why they made it so red. Said Ulysses Camacho? Yeah. President of president from idiocracy. President and C.O. of Taco Cabana. The Cheetos, Flaming Hot Caso

Rojo is all about the flame. The heat you feel. The flavor that builds and the kind of food that hits instantly. What the fuck? What? That's just a bunch of bullshit back to back. He's just selling. He's selling thoughts and prayers. Yeah, absolutely. He's just selling good vibes to us. Yeah. And it's

it was bad vibes mostly. That casso is fucking weird. They give you so much of it. Can it be flavor that builds and also food that hits instantly? There are two different things like polar opposites? Shut up. Don't think about it. It's fast and slow. Well, the flavor builds, the food

hits instantly. It's whatever you want to be. This is truly food that whatever you want it to be. I'm chewing it, I'm chewing it, I'm swallowing it. It's hitting me? It's hitting me? Dip your taco in these melted crayons. God, I touched that. Like, melting crids.

My fucking nose is it's just touched it. It's spicy. Oh, no. The thing is, it looks like toxic. Yeah. It looks like, you do it. That too, dip the Cheetos in. Why would you dip the cheetos?

You could do a dip, you can do a dip. You can dip where the fuck you want. He dipped chips. I got chips. I had some leftover Torchi's chips. It's chips in Koso, but Cheetos instead of chips. Cheetos and Keto. But why would you dip the Cheetos into the Cheeto flavored thing?

Why dip chip in Koso? Yeah. Because chips. Right, right. No. Don't you know how chips are also Koso? It makes perfect sense. What are you talking about? You don't just put them all on the taco.

Am I saying... Am I saying something weird? You talk to him. Don't talk to him. You just eat it like fucking chips and queso. You guys are definitely talking about two different things. We talk about the same thing you go about in two different ways. I don't think he knows what you're talking about.

He knows. He knows. He's saying chip different, caseo different, put together, make something different. this Cheeto in Cheeto Yeah, same thing But you're also, you're just ignoring the cheese It's Cheeto flavor cheese

It's still different And you're, you fucking know it You're being obtuse and you know it intentionally I just looking at this I wouldn't think I guess I just don't dip Cheetos It's not melted down Cheetos It's cheese with a little Cheeto flavor

Okay, so of course It is a very little Chito into a cheap It doesn't taste like Cheetos It looks way more like Cheetos than tastes It's so little chito It just tastes weird It's like this is weird ass cheese

That's why you used the chip I mean the chito That's why you use the fucking Cheeto Cheeto fuck No one would he No one would he's fine He's doing fine Just keep going don't look back

He dug a hole He fell into his own hole Doesn't matter As long as you get out It doesn't matter It never happened Sorry it's just ankle deep Small

He would have been necked I know That's what he's saying Get him one of those tall shirts If you just gave someone that if they knew at least it was cheese they'd be like, what the fuck is this? Yes. Why is you, why are you giving me blood red cheese?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No one would think Cheeto. Yeah. Well, we have our review of Taco Cabana's flaming hot Cheeto mess, but we need to hear from you in a second we call you review. See what you're doing. You're trying to crucify this guy. I'm trying. I just got it down.

Hey, hold on the Judas. Real quick. Yeah. Real quick. Gracie, I don't think we've been keeping her up to date on everything going on with the cuck chair. No, smaller things, like pretzels and whatnot. Is she texted us out of the blue and just said, who's that man with y'all? Tell her new cast member.

New Gracie. Don't say new Gracie. Just it's a tar is an intern. Oh. Yeah. Are you texting her? No, go for it. I want you to do it.

Well, you are typing, so it's confused. Yeah, yeah. I was about to and then started Jordan style. He's got it. He's doing it Jordan style. Okay. Look at him go. You're both, you're still going.

I'm waiting for him to text it. Oh, okay. Well, this came to grinding all. There. Okay. He just wanted to text after I texted. Nick said to fuck punch. Nick said fuck punch.

All right. Yeah, get it right. Michael, you want to read the first one? said for real. It starts on the other. Sure. No, I know. Oh, I think this is a question. She's texting. She's texting like my dad where she's not using punctuation. Yeah. I mean, it's like trying out new cast member maybe. For real. Jesus Christ. All right.

This is the year of you now. Bondolero? Yep. Bandolero? Yep. Bandolero v. I will start off by accepting the fact that Taco Cabana is an insult to real Mexican food. All right. That being said in the world of McDonald's and and other mediocre food is usually edible. Okay. While in this town, we wanted a quick breakfast taco and assumed the tacos here would suffice.

I was extremely wrong. Walking into the restaurant, you get the vibes of a New York subway bathroom. This place is dingy. And I'm certain there are cleaner hypodermic needles in rural Arkansas than the cook surfaces and table of this restaurant. The staff were polite

and offered excellent service. However, the food was god-awful. Halfway through one taco, we found scraps of metal wire in our food. Not wanting to be difficult and accepting that we were eating at a place with the same hygiene standards as an old West out-housed. Come on, dude. Dot, dot, dot. We set the taco to the side, only to find more wire in the rest of the tacos. This could have lodged in someone's throat and killed, either choked one of my kids or caused health issues if it stayed stuck in there.

You're not wrong. I would buy tacos from a homeless man who prepared his food in a city park porta potty before eating here again. We get the bathroom joke. Jesus Christ. Bathroom, bathroom, bathroom. Tell them. Tell them about the water. This place is like this place.

I don't want to be. Shut the fuck up. I don't want to be difficult. Hey, hey, I'd put metal wire in your fucking food. Jesus Christ. The tired use of simile. I'm thinking he spoke to someone and they were like, I'm putting wire in this guy's food.

Yeah, absolutely. Fuck this guy. Well, he was just, you were insufferable. He was just talking like how he writes. Me thinks this restaurant does not live up to my standards.

What a me thinks. And also, funny joke. Shut the fuck off. That made me livid. I'm furious. When he writes New York subway, does he mean a subway restaurant in New York?

Yeah, or does he mean the subway? No, I think he smells like, I think it smells like a subway restaurant in New York. Which would just make it even more stinky. Yeah, because it's in New York.

For sure. For sure. Yeah. We also noticed that it smelled in the Taco Cabana we went to. It smelled weird, but then it's also this cheese smelled weird. I didn't smell dirty. It just smelled like the big bad food. Yeah, that's what it smelled.

I think Taco Bell just smells bad. Taco Cabana, please. Sorry. Taco Bell smells great. Taco Bell smells like Taco. Going in and coming out. That's what's up, baby. Michael, I think you should read the second one,

George should read the last one. Okay. The last one's so long. Okay. We'll see makeup. Yep. Christy C says, these busters suck. Don't ever come to this top.

Cabana and San Marcos customers Hang on Don't ever come to this Taco Cabana and San Marcos Customer service dot dot dot someone took our orders Okay We get to the window

And this fool took my money And didn't even give me my food Then he proceeds to close the new And says we're closed It's 10 bm Unbelievable I can't believe these busters would do this Did you get robbed and dry?

I actually do find that unbelievable I agree Christy Does that go on in Marcus? I don't know. I've never been. I don't know where San Marcos is. Don't ever come to this Taco

Cabana in San Marcus. Dot dot, customer service, dot, dot, someone took our orders. That's the sentence. Yeah. What the fuck? These you talk.

Busters suck. Dude, what's the last time? I was going to refer to as a buster. Dude, we got to start calling things. Only one playing San Andreas. That's right.

Yeah. Only when I'm listening to that song. Yeah. Dude, what the fuck? These busters suck. They ride. They robbed me. They robbed me.

They're busters. I mean, if this took place, you were politely robbed. Yes. And you came to them. The drives were robbery. What a good trick. It's like, I'll take your money. Yeah.

We're closed. We're closed. Oh, we're closed. Busters! I think the only buster here is you, Christy. Yep. All right. Well, buckle up because this one's from Richie C.

You got it. And it's a long one. Yep. I'm doing this review. dropping a deuce induced by the food from last night's order. Oh, brother. Hey, what do you think we're in for here? Does it get any better?

I started sweating at this job. I was at bright and early this morning. Like, wow, this humidity is high this morning. Hmm. Then the wind blew. And I was like, well, I think it's cold outside, though. I think something is off with me. I thought, whoops, ripped a little ripple.

of ass. Like little ripple of ass like wow where'd that come from? Oh my god that's rancid I thought to myself. This reads like a George Sonder short story. Uh oh my stomach is cramping. Oh my goodness. I'm getting hotter. What the hell?

Is it W.H? Oh no. Here comes another but burps quietly in parentheses. Oh my. That smells worse. That his burp smelled worse than his fart. Oh no. I'm going to behind you. Oh no. I'm probably about to crap myself if I get

hit with that again. Dot, dot, dot, dot. parentheses, sweats harder. Oh, Jesus, please watch over me while I work as quickly as I can. Dot, dot, dot. All done. Off to the car I go. Headed home like speed racer because I have been squeezing these cheeks.

So tight. While wrapping up a job, just hoping. I keep thinking. the job he's referring to is the poop. Yeah. It sounds like it. While wrapping up a job, just hoping I didn't shoot explosive diarrhea through the fabric of my workpants. Luckily, I survived

completing my task and made it home to a safe environment where I can just explode in a rough like a volcano and not put anyone else's lives in jeopardy. At least he's thoughtful. Ah, and now we are here on the porcelain throne as I now see. write in this review to say that God does answer prayers and the devil was served up last night

in the form of two small horribly cooked and questionable fajita tacos and fajita cheese nachos with curdled nacho cheese and stale chips that had to go straight to the trash bin after half of the devil's mission was completed. Kind of lost the thread there. Anyway, moral of the story is don't eat at Taco Cabana of I-35 in New Bronfills, Texas. And if you do, I hope you believe in Jesus because he answers prayers. Otherwise the devil will go in your body and then shoot out your butt like an exorcism and you will be

defeated and ashamed. Have a great day and thanks for sitting with me while I spill out my story. You will be defeated and ashamed. Better story than the first guy. I was going to say this guy like this guy. I don't know if he knows or not.

He's a bunch of better. He's just spitballing while he's taking his shit. Okay. Spill out my stories. A grown would end that. thinks I win poopie too much. This guy's talking about angels and demons and stuff. It's great. Whoops, ripped a little ripple of ass.

I did like how he wrote the like the actions. Oh yeah. They were like stage directions or he or like awkward anime nerd online. Oh yeah. Yeah. I was wondering but it looks quietly. It looks down sadly. Why did his burps feel worse?

than his fart. He's building. He's building the tension. Who? Until he can go home and erupt like a volcano. I didn't know you could have a ripple of ass.

A ripple of ass. Ripping ass, but I've never heard of ripping a ripple. He ripped a ripple. I ripped a ripple of ass. Where'd that come from? I says to myself. I was so food poisoned.

I went to work for a full day to do all of my work and then go home and erupt like a volcano. I don't even think it's food poison. No. Right?

It's just, you've poisoned your body with booed. Yeah, right. Usually if it's food poisoning is coming out both ends. There you go.

It was. The burps. The burbs. The burbs and the fart. Sad burps. The stinky burps. The stinky burps worse than the park. That one's up there.

Yeah. This guy's a wordsmith. Yeah. I knew that it was good. Writing this review while dropping a deuce induced by the food from last night's order.

Awesome. I like that wordplay, deuce and deuce. Yeah. I don't know if he's, I don't know if he's doing it on purpose, but he's... Billy Shakespeare, man.

Putting it together. Well, those are your reviews of Taco Cabana, but we have our own review of the Taco Cabana Flamen Hot Rojo Wrap and Loaded Fries. Jordan... Yeah, this will be quick. This shit sucks. What? Too red.

It's very red. Two red, and they put it in the wrap, and it's like... I almost wish they didn't put it in there and you had to dip it because they gave you so much. You could dip it. Because I think it would be like way better without that sauce. It just looks unappetizing, too.

Like, I'll probably never forget biting into it, pulling it back. It's like you cough into a right. It looks like, oh, it's, I need to go to the hospital. Yeah. It's tuberculosis. Yeah. Oh, no. Oh no, I'm done for.

Yeah. A deer. Oh, dear. But yeah, it's just, it's just not good. And like the season beef on the loaded fries was also strange, I thought. like the fries weren't good. The season beef was criminal. Did you just rip a little ripple out of your mouth?

He did a little mouth ripple. Did it, did it smell worse than a fart? I hope not. And also the, the, the, the,

the queso in general, even if it wasn't like, chitos, a hot, flavor, it would probably not be good. It's not a quality. It was like gritty.

Yeah, it's not a quality case. The queso's bad. Yeah, I did not like, the red blood chito doesn't help. Yeah,

not helping. I did not like this at all. I'm gonna give it a 25. Ooh, 25. Okay. Yeah, it wasn't very appetizing. I think the most okay part was like the piece of chicken. Like it wasn't bad chicken.

I actually like opened it and was like, can I get all the sauce on and just eat the chicken? This is like, it's like up there with Chipotle queso. It's similar. It's not good. It's just like a block of cheese. It's thin, runny, nothing sort of bland. Yeah, and then it looks like red. But then it looks like blood.

It does. Blood, blood, red. just kind of makes you go, ooh. Like, you don't want to eat it. Yeah. I don't want to eat that. Yeah, no, it's like so hot appetizing. But you can dip your Cheetos in it.

Yeah. That's, they're like the chips, which you didn't understand. And I don't know if we have to explain this to you one more time. But then he dipped chips in it. Yeah, because I had the chips and I'm backing up my homie. Okay. You took the old chips from him also. Yes.

Because I've been, I hit up Torchies a lot. I've been using my casso card a lot. Nice. So I knew, like, I went literally two days in a row. So one bag was one day fresher. You gave him the older bag. Can I, can I insert real quick while we're talking about the case. Insert, please.

That we did check in with Chris. And I said, time for a monthly check in. How's your casso card doing? He says, I'm around 20 to 23 casos. Honestly, that's what made me start going again. I was like, I got to get paid. I'm not competing with Chris. I was like, I paid for it.

I went like three times last week. Used my free birthday casso and brought two tubs as my contribution to a Super Bowl party. Yep. I also bought rice. Yep. Discovered you can manually enter the code at checkout without the physical card present. So I've been giving it to friends. They've just,

they just have to confirm that I'm also not going that day. Right. I was like, that's a hot tip. Michael, you should be giving us gifts. It is a hot tip. And you did say that and I didn't reply.

Well, Chris was like, just hit me up. I got you. Yeah. And he's like, I'm your cheese guy or something like, my cheese man. What's fucking funny is this does this all the time.

And it's like kind of annoying, but it's also kind of funny. so I leave it. I'm sure it's a setting you can turn off where now with like some iPhone update it will AI summarize the text so that conversation you had before I open my phone like it'll

give you a summary like at the top of Google and it says something like it was like a friend has the cheese when needed or something like that that's why I leave it on as a fucking joke it's idiotic like it summarized that insane stupid ass conversation into I'm shortening

they were testing that out on Discord and it It's like we were like having a discussion in Discord. And like, then it was just like, here's a suggestion of like the messages you missed. And it's like does a bad job of explaining any of it. I can't possibly imagine a scenario where like you take that over the actual information. Like you're waiting on a business thing. And someone's like, here's the information. It's like basically like this.

And you go, yeah, sure, good enough. Yeah. It's like just read the text. The way we text and the stuff we talk about. Yes. Yes. It's not going to understand. Right.

It's not going to understand. Yeah, it said something about like the cheese, this guy has your cheese back. I was just like, what? I guess they're taking pictures of it. He also has sight of bean. Yep. That actually was right.

That would actually make sense. Anyway, back to your reason. But that reminded me, I didn't need to go there more. So that's why I had chips for Nick. So he said, I wish I had chips. And I was like, I got chips. This is also funny. You were downstairs.

Yep. We were over here. And Nick goes, I was like, oh, I'll go get him. Oh, I'll go get him. He's like, I'll be right back. I'll be right back. He got, takes one stab. And he goes,

Eric, can you bring up the tips? And then he sat back down. So funny. Holy shit. I said something to the effect when I went downstairs. I was like, Nick's going to get more chips. Because he gave me the old one. So anyway, the point is, he's tall.

And I got chips and cheese when he needs it. Because that's just what friends do. There you go. You figure it out one day. So what's your score? He's the God answering prayers. You're the devil. Everything Jordan said, I didn't hate it as much.

just him, but it's not good. I'll give it 38. 38. The chicken was okay. 38. The chicken was pretty good. 31.5. It's better than the last time, I guess. We really punished them. No, last time it really, really was terrible. This was better. I mean,

just look at their salsa bar, just not so much the quality of the salsa in the salsa bar. But the fact that they... You are good! But the fact that they had more than just like two red, one green. Again, that's why I was going to take the picture. I was expecting the disappointment. He was going to look at you.

But they're making a comeback. Instead, I got... There's a great picture where he's smiling and Eric's in the back. Oh, dude. Eric is in the middle of doing that to picture. He's just him going, he's like scowling. I'm just watching him.

You're like sickened by him. Well, this is right after dealing with the... Four? One. Four. You want one? Oh, it's because I tried to hand him a drink cup. And he didn't look.

He didn't look and he went, what's this? He was so engrossed. You were engrossed with the salsa bar and Eric hands your cup. You go here. you go, what's this? And then you go, copy goes, oh, sorry, I wasn't looking. I wasn't.

Right. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, you interrupted me. Fuck you. 31.5, the average score. He was busy. Yep. Well, you can go to 100% eat. Store to grab our new merch,

Beanie, magnet, and also the tall shirt. So you'd be nice and tall. You can be tall. Even if you're short, you can be tall. Yep. It's the perfect shirt. Yep. For everything.

There you go. If you're tall and you're wearing the tall shirt, it's great. If you're short and you're wearing the tall shirt, that's great. There you go. Streamly.com slash 100% eat for signed prints. Michael Jordan podcast, patreon.com slash 100% eat. Watch this week's episode and every other episode that we have in that archive. There's a lot in the archive, but you can watch the Evan episode where he's on.

You better. More than just a cuck chair guest. He shows up. He got upgraded to real chair. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, he still used this. The cut chair, but you know, it is a real chair spot.

Yep, exactly. And you can follow us. I wasn't making attention. I know. I actually. At 100% eat Twitter Instagram and Blue Sky. P-O-box 1432-41, Austin, Texas, 78-7-14.

143-4-1, Austin, Texas, 7-8-7-1-4. We want to send this stuff to 100% treat. We'll likely be doing 100% treat. Should be a new one. Yeah, should be a new one soon. I got two boxes. Oh, back in my car.

And as she mentioned, the Gracie box was sent out. again. Yes. Yes. She wanted to film. If she wanted to film opening it, we know how to record it now. Yeah, yeah. I do think that would be good. I had a great idea. I'd do a hundred percent treat. Yep, and have her, have her to do it. It's a great idea. There you have it, Jordan. She can be part of it. Take us home.

She never left. Nope. One more try. You got any more papers? Oh, hang on. He's got one. Too bad. You have until I finish reading this. Lying in. Right subscribe, tell a front about the show where you eat food and rate the food. You are lined up. You are lined up perfect. Just sad day.

Oh, well. Can't win them all, Nick. That's not usually you. Don't go to Taco Cabana. I'm two for three. No, you're one for three. What do you think your two are? I win.

Boom. Marcos. It was the wrong order. Goodbye. Better than every other pizza place. With the exception of Domino's. He's still talking. You're fucking nuts.

We're getting up. He's still talking. What's better? Pizza Hut? Little Caesars. That doesn't count.