100% Eat - We're Live Pal %% Not a Damn Chance Burger

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

Our Heroes take it to Home Brew Austin for a LIVE episode of 100% Eat where they eat and review Not a Damn Chance Burger. This Austin spot is expanding but is it worth the price? Can you take a guess at how much 4 burgers and 2 fries cost here? It's really something. Enjoy Nick being the most placid you've ever seen him. Also enjoy Mikey's abs. Unhinged. The Switchfork & two new shirts come out TODAY at 1pm CT https://100percenteat.store/ go go go Sponsored by Shady Rays. Thanks, Shady Rays. Get 35% off polarized glasses at shadyrays.com - code EAT Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

["Sexy Girl's Dance"] I'm over here. What are you doing over there? There's five mic... I got two, baby. I got finger rats. This is nice. Come on. Is there a hole in the bottom?

What? Oh, he brought a tip jar, everybody. I told you. Okay. This is 100%, E. Thank you very much for being here. Alright. Are you guys ready to get started? That wasn't the start?

No, that was us walking on stage. The countdown timer has begun. Okay, that's fine. That's why we're gonna play the theme song. I just see people at computers scrambling. Nick, play the theme song. It's the same theme song. I think you just.

Yeah. Welcome to 100% the show where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? I am so live right now. Why are you over there?

You look stupid. You're on the left. Where do you want me to be? You want me to scoot over? You sat in the right spot, and you sat over there like a fool. I'll scoot you. I Where am I? You're on the left. Where do you want me to be? Do you want me to scoot over? You sat in the right spot and you sat over there like a fool. I'll scoot you. I said that I was gonna be during the bar. You're gonna confuse them.

I was at the bar and I made it just on time. It was taking forever. We talked about it. They were making yours when I had to come up here. So I don't know if it's still at the bar. Someone will deliver it. What will I do? What about this one?

It's a different microphone. What are you doing? What! What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? No, for people! Oh, we're not going to announce the fifth member? Pick out the audience. And it's Ray! Big Ray!

Big Ray! Yay! Big Ray. No, no! It was a different Ray. Big Ray. No, no. No, not you! It was a different Ray. Not you! You get down there! Big Ray, sorry, sorry. I know, it's confusing.

It's confusing for them too. Did you not burn any butt rooster teeth, Ray? No, no. Did you not burn any butt rooster teeth, Ray? No, no. No, no. Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck! Lot of friends in the audience. Yeah, two Rays. We got Brett. Oh, all the way from Hawaii? What's up? Oh. That's crazy.

Our lawyer, our lawyer Dean in the back. Whoa, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, it's Dean, our lawyer Dean in the back. Whoa, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's Dean, our lawyer. What kind of law? Money? Podcast law.

Podcast law. Like a defendant? Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. We're gonna sue good morning from hell. Yeah. I like it. Hey, what did we eat?

I don't know. That was days ago, dude. We were reviewing, not a damn chance burger. Yeah. Who went? Woo! Woo! Three of you.

It's expensive. It's so expensive. Look, you gotta know at the top. Don't get there and go, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got four burgers. We got four burgers, three doubles, a triple, and two fries.

It was $105. Yeah. But don't worry, then we also got like four beers and that was like another like 35 bucks. Yeah. So that guy was really nice that worked there. Dude. Dude, thank you. Well, I was gonna ask if Dean also does bankruptcy law. Not a damn chance burger is a cool little spot with people that work there that wish you were dead. Instead of like silently, yes. Instead of eating hamburger and helping you, what if you died?

That's the vibe of not a damn chance burger. We talked about it and it would, I think Jordan and Nick were like, this guy seems like just picked up on the vibe. I mean, Jordan and Nick were like, and this guy seemed like- Just picked up on the vibe immediately. Yeah, it was like, maybe this guy's just like really high, and I'm like, no, no, this is disdain. I know this well. He saw us, and he went, don't fucking eat here.

You fucking loser bitch. He said that to you, I thought that was weird. Yeah, and I was picking up the food. He kept saying, guys, why did he say that to all of us? We had never- Sack yo' bitch. We'd never been, except Michael, the ideas guy. Thank you.

All Michael's idea. I do come up with them all by myself. And he said, hey, let's do Not a Damn Chance Burger. It's a great idea. Michael, the exact thing. Actually, first you were like, where are we going? Some other place? And I was like, I'll fucking kill you.

It was decided quite a while ago that we would do this. And then a random weekend, Eric is like, hey, so what if we wouldn't hear? Think about this place. Yeah. I'm thinking you shut the hell up. We said not a damn Chansburger, and you were like, unfortunately, Michael's correct.

Yeah. It was unfortunate. Yeah, and it was, I'd never been, I don't think any of us had been except Michael. And Michael immediately, I'm like, oh, I'll order the food and we'll get there and we'll be able to get it or whatever. And Michael went, give me triple.

Add a patty. Adding a patty. Adding a patty is $8. It's cheaper though than getting two. I also said add a patty and you were like, what? I'm like, I'll eat it. Don't question it. He gave a little like, I'm kind of annoyed.

Shut the fuck up. You better eat it. I know what I'm doing. Dude. Yeah, he knows how to make it work. $8? He knows the economics of it. Eight dollars is half of the price of the hamburger. A hamburger is $16. It makes sense. I get it's expensive

don't go there go wow this is a lot it is a lot yeah. You gotta know that. If you wander in you fuck you. Yeah and if you don't wander in, fuck you. It's so expensive. It's so fucking good. Oh my god. We don't know that yet. What the fuck are you doing? What? Why are you saying that now?

We don't know that yet. What's wrong? What the fuck is wrong with you? What are you doing? Now he wants to follow the format. He's been suspiciously quiet. Well, he's just, no, no, no. He's just not talking into the microphone.

The sound guy is like this. Yeah. What? I'll be honest, like in like the room, we can't get it to shut the fuck up at this point. And I'm just like, he's dead quiet. Yeah. Where are the burgers?

No ooze, no sucking. Where are the burgers? You're supposed to get more today. Nick forgot to get them. What? No, Nick was gonna give you the tip. It's down the street. Right, yeah.

It's like over there. I got a cup of coffee. It's on, what? Came here, and I watched Chris and Blaine kind of fumble their way through it, and then. No, I heard it went really well. Oh, fuck, we were supposed to be on that. Two months ago, Chris was like,

hey, we're both doing that show. Do you guys wanna be on? And Jordan's like, hey, you never replied. And then like two days ago, I was like, hey, we're both doing that show. Do you guys want to be on? And Jordan's like, hey, you never replied. And then like two days ago I was like, hey, sorry for the late notice. No. I hope you guys had a, I hope you weren't waiting for us. I was like, I'll be on.

Jordan was like, I said yes, to be fair. Michael didn't reply. Michael never said anything. Hope you didn't assume that was a yes. But also there was no followup of like, hey, just want to check in. Well, he didn't reply, so probably. Chris texted on April 30 like, hey, just want to check in. Well, he didn't reply, so probably. Chris texted on April 30th, hey, you want to do this?

And Jordan went, oh, maybe, I don't know, whatever. Michael never replied. There was no follow-up. I'm sure I wasn't like, fuck you. I was like, oh, I'll get back to this and forgot. Yeah, absolutely. Never mentioned again. And then you were like, by the way,

you never replied to that. What are you talking about? I was like, oh, should I say no? I hope you weren't planning for us. Yeah, it was, are you available? No. Well, yeah, you should say no, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and Jordan's like, fuck, I'm not gonna do it. I said yes. I was like, all right, I'll just say I can't make it. I said I would only do it if you did. But you hit right after and be like, but come to our new studio and record there. I'm like, we'll hit them with the bad news and then you hit them with the good news. Oh, that's Michael disappoints.

I lift up. Did they ever reply? No. Pissed. No. They're pissed. I also sent Blaine a cool video he never replied to. So I think he was mad at me.

What was the cool video? It was like old school analog tech aesthetic stuff. It's just something we're into right now. It was cool. Something we're into? Yeah. He's like collecting old monitors aesthetic stuff. Is it cool? It's just something we're into right now. It was cool. Something we're into? Yeah, he's like collecting old monitors and stuff. And I also think it's cool. Don't worry about it. Nick is like nodding in agreement like he's in on it.

See, I don't want Nick to be on my side about it. I feel like I should have him off. I got the Arby's napkin clothes. Oh, that's right. These are the Arby's napkin clothes. Michael is wearing the Arby's napkin clothes brought to you by Anthony Anderson and Cedric, the's right. These are the Arby's napkin clothes. Michael is wearing the Arby's napkin clothes brought to you by Anthony Anderson and Cedric the entertainer.

These are made out of napkins and they cost $80. Shipping was an additional $24. They are made out of napkins. And he's doing abs. I don't want, I don't want to. Great, grate some cheese, why don't you? You get his nip? You get his nip? I wouldn't touch his nip. I threaten the nip. I don't actually touch it.

He keeps not talking into the microphone. It's making me nuts. Why? Is he shy? I think this guy won't shut up. Why are you quiet? How do you have nothing to add? What? Where are the burgers?

Kiss me off. Yeah, okay, that's what it is, the burger. You need the burger. Stage fright. Mm-hmm. How do those feel, your napkin clothes? Do they feel like clothes clothes or do they feel like napkins?

They feel more like clothes than napkins. I think we were kind of disappointed in the non-napkin, like they're cotton napkins, they were kind of like paper disintegrating napkins, but also it makes sense because they're $80. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it'd be really cool.

They're a little too quality. Yeah. I thought it'd be cool if you got wet and they disintegrated. Yeah. We can try that. You heard about side knit rain, so you know, uh-oh.

We can try that, start with the shirt. Yeah, uh-oh. But they're maybe missing. Don't lose this, they won't let me back in the green room. Oh, that's true. They see you up here and they go, I'll need a Ray to sneak in.

Both Rays. Yeah. Both Rays are gonna sneak you in when you walk out. So not a damn Chance Burger. Any damn Pinions? I've been there. I used the Onewheel there on Rainy Street. Yeah.

When I was ripping Tread. Tell me how that worked. You said it was- Well, I get on the wheel and I push forward. No, not the Onewheel. I don't care about the Onewheel. I care about, it's a truck in the back of push forward. No, not the one wheel. I don't care about the one wheel. I care about...

It's a truck in the back of a bar? No, it's a bar. It's inside the bar. I don't remember the name of the bar, but you have to go through the bar and it's just like there's a hallway with a bathroom on the side and then on one wall there's just a window and they're like, we sell the burgers here. And you're like, this is kind of a thing to get to and it's just like, give me burger and it's like, holy shit. At the other location, you order bathroom burgers?

No, it's not right next to the bathroom and it's a nice bathroom. It's just in the hallway to the back, there's like a back bar area. It's a nice bathroom at the bar? Yeah. It's like, I don't know if he's been there, but now he's perking up. Yeah. Bathroom bar. What's not to get?

Eric. What? Bathroom bar. Idiot. Bathroom bar. What's not to get? Eric. What? Bathroom bar. Idiot, bathroom bar. What don't you get? You stupid bastard. Yeah, yeah, get him. You saggy bitch.

I've spent, I've been spending. You fucking hoe. I've been spending a lot of time with that guy. Yeah. Why? Too much. He contributes nothing. Well, there you go. All right, should we read this crap? What do you? We got a lot of time with that guy. Yeah! Why? Too much. He contributes nothing. Well, there you go.

All right, should we read this crap? We got a lot to read. I don't wanna spoil it, but flip over your page real quick. Holy shit. There's, you reviews were interesting. We were gonna have- Brandon Sanderson over here. We were gonna have Gracie here today,

but it was her birthday, and she said, I'm not doing this shit, I'm going to New York. Today's outta here. Today's not her birthday? Yeah, no, she went to, it was her birthday, and then she left. She's like, I'm not doing this shit, I'm going to New York. So she's out of here. Today's not her birthday? Yeah, no, she went to, it was her birthday and then she left. She's like, I'm not fucking doing this. And so in honor of her,

we're going to read the format front to back. That's not what she would want. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She would want us to crumble it up and throw it in the audience. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Do you have another one? Throw that one out, yeah.

Come on. Let it rip! There you go. Wow. Hey, I made it to the front yeah. Come on. Let it rip! There you go. Wow. Wow. Hey, I made it to the front row. Next time, wrap it around a rock. Oh, tip jar, there you go.

No, no, no! All right. You ready to fire through this crap? Wait, come on, don't fire it! Professional skateboarder, Neen Williams, a Michelin-starred chef, Philip Franklin Lee, first bonded over their love of skateboarding and cooking. Fact taken from nadcburger.com.com yeah that's also wow that's Williams yeah

mean Williams mean mean is he in the new Tony Hawk no I don't think so Pam Margera is back in Tony Hawk yes rest in peace yeah what oh you didn't hear no I just simply assumed yeah Yeah, he's back in. But Neen Williams, nowhere to be found. Dang. Well, maybe he'll be in the burger version. This fact is also written on the box that the burger comes in. Oh, is it really?

It's a nice box. When we were there, I was reading up their whole stories there. Doing research on the burger? Learning. This guy's job. Learning. They were teaching me. I did not seek this information out. That's on the burger? Learning. Learning. They were teaching me.

I did not seek this information out. That's what the facts are for. All right, not in the next chance burger offers just three menu items, which are the NADC burger, the kids burger and french fries. You can also make your fries beast mode. That's not better or worse than animal style in and out,

but it does sound like something you shutter looking worst. Oh, sorry. It's something you shutter looking back on from when you were 12 and you told your dad you were going beast mode, then you ate shit on your bike trying to jump off the curb and he never looked at you the same. Beast mode activated, father. Does that seem like something you'd say to your dad? I'm not asking you.

Beasted! This is what I say to my dad. Yeah He's in hell? Wait, is it? Hell is up. Yeah, so heaven's down, heaven's cold. Missed another father's day. Oh no What's on the beast mode? What's up? What's on it? What? What's on the beast mode? What's on the fucking beast mode is what he's asking. He has to talk into the mic to do that. I did! You hear that?

Answer the question. Jesus Christ. Beast mode, it's just their animal style fries. What the fuck is that? So what's on those? How many animals? They put the cheese sauce on the fries. It's the cheese sauce with the pickles and what they call tame jalapenos.

How do you put something called tame on something called beast mode? I don't know. Tame Jalapenos are the way that they talk about their Jalapenos. It's a domesticated beast. Look at this fucking guy up there. What are you doing? Show your biceps. Get over here, you slut.

Just flex one time. It's Alfredo Diaz. This guy's wearing a fucking suit. What are you doing? And Cameron, Karen! Karen! Karen! Karen!

Hey, we fleeced him. There's Jeff. Alfredo, can you text me back so we can pay you for the furniture? Jeff! Jeff! Thanks. Who's that?

Who's that? Oh, it's Jeff. Alfredo got a great ovation. Jeff much taller. Well, because he's dressed like a whore. Oh shit, It's Jeff. No, we already did Jeff. Oh, sorry How long can we keep this dude dude you walked out of the green room Jordan goes Jordan go stand over there and I'll call you. Okay, Jeff could not wait to start complaining about you Jeff was fucking talking shit. It was awesome. Yeah, you walked out fucking sucks ass. Yeah, we all bonded over talking shit

It was talking truth. Yeah, they should be on the fact sheet Should be a fact. Why'd you write that? Yeah? This yeah, yeah, yeah sure bitch that dumb motherfucker Nick was back there with Jeff and it was like we were in the car with Nick and Michael just going Because someone was just egging him on. There were no nuts and Jordan and I were like, we're not on this show, it's awesome. And Eric's like, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad.

It was like, oh, I'm very familiar with this dynamic of Nick teaming up with someone random against Eric. Yeah. Some bullshit. What the fuck? Trying to have a fun time with my friends. Shut up. We are. By the way, we're gonna pay Alfredo for the furniture. We sorted it out.

Oh yeah, we fleeced them. Dude, we just keep fleecing this guy. Dude, he's got empty pockets. He's got Hoover flags. He's got those Hoover flags out, baby. Hey Michael, will you teach me another fact about Not a Damn Chance Burger? Sure.

Breaking out of Austin over the years, Not a Damn Chance Burger has opened locations in Chicago, New York, and most recently at Jelly Roll's restaurant in Nashville. You know this is a good place to eat just by looking at Jelly Roll. Snakes ain't always in the grass, sharks ain't always in the water.

These lyrics speak to us, the imbeciles of this once great nation, bring back the real America, says Sauce Monkey. We don't know what he's talking about and we also don't tread on him. He says you can though, but you have to be barefoot. No, no feet. Show them toes.

No, what? He's not a foot guy. Arches. When you go back on Tuesday and you slow that down to like 0.75 to like listen to that whole fact, you're gonna be like, that was so well written. That shit was awesome. Structured well, it built well, it had Nick foot jokes.

Then there's like a weird face I missed. Yeah. Which face is that? It looks like a barf face. It looks like a w jokes. Then there's like a weird face I missed. Yeah. Which face is that? It looks like a barf face. It looks like a wavy face. He's like kind of sick. Why isn't it tongue and foot? Oh, that's a great question.

Didn't want to get him going. No feet. He would have seen it and there would have been no stopping him. No! Do you know in your cursory research what is at Jelly Roll's restaurant? Oh, Michael, why

don't you read the next fact? Should I? That doesn't answer my question. Alright, the clearly AI written article about NADC opening in Nashville says the venue's menu offers everything from shareable starters and pizzas to salads and pizzas. Fuck yeah, you guys think this place got pizzas? What about pizzas and burgers and pizzas? Honestly, who needs attention to detail when you're opening a restaurant? Grab a pizza and shut up.

So Jelly Roll. So does it have pizzas or what? It definitely has pizzas and shareables, which is a bane on restaurants. Everything being nothing. Here's a shareable. I put the tip jar on his dick. Oh, come on.

I didn't cut a hole in it yet. You gotta make the hole now, dude. Shareables being the thing, when you go to like a shareables restaurant, just eat your own food. Why is everything like a shareable deal? I don't like that. I'm over it.

You know, cause we cured COVID and it's never coming back. We can touch each other's food. Just start sharing. COVID's done. COVID'S DONE! We did it! Also COVID's back. Be careful. I mean, I assume it's fries, but...

Nick whispered, share fries. We share fries. We did technically get shareables, but not a damn chance burger. We're not called shareables. I'm saying that... But we shared them, so they're chance burger. We're not called shareables I'm saying that you but we shared them so they're shareable. So they are shareable. They're not called shareables I'm saying that shareables on a menu and it's called shareables. I hate it I think we should term I think we should say shareables more. Yeah, okay continues to lose all meaning Okay, no more shareables. What about pizzas and salads and pizzas and salads and pizzas and salads and pizza? Salads are shareables. Oh

my Broadway on like in Nashville is and salads and pizzas. Pizzas and salads and pizzas and salads and pizzas. Oh, they got pizzas? Pizzas and salads and shareables. Oh my. Broadway on, like in Nashville is. Like 6th Street. It is, but have you ever been? No. It's weird because there's traffic. That's crazy. There's traffic on 6th now.

What are they doing? Only in Nashville. Wacky. But it's every bar is like what Austin was like 15 years ago You're taking forever Don't forget traffic, can you finish the fucking story? Jelly Roll sucks. Yeah! I wish Jelly Roll was here.

The restaurant? I can't beat your ass. Alright. What's up, Nick? The restaurant or the person? The person. Oh. I hope Jelly Roll is here. There's a Jelly Roll's restaurant called Jelly Roll. Yeah, they put them up. The restaurant of the person the person

No, I don't think it's called jelly roll it's probably called jelly rolls damn fine restaurant or something I'm sure it's something like something that guy so you don't know jelly rolls. I love this restaurant. Yeah, it's definitely There's 40 minutes of this left That's why I don't know why you're trying to blow through it. There's 40 minutes of this left. Yeah. What do we do? Yeah, that's why I don't know why you're trying to blow through it. He's really fucking phoning it in. Me? No.

Nick. What? No. What? Do something wacky. What are you doing? I can't stand you at the office. And now he's like, I'll do nothing.

Hey, guys. I don't want to be rude. I thought he was going to put it in his pants. I was like, he's going to put it in his pants. I'm not, he's gonna put it in his pants! Oh, he just. I'm not actually gonna do it. Put the spaghetti on your head. Put your spaghetti on your head. This episode of 100% Eat is brought to you

by our members on our Patreon. Go to patreon.com slash 100% Eat to become a member and get exclusive content and help support the show. Big thanks to all of our bugs and grackles. Also want to thank Shady Rays for supporting 100% EAT. You can get ready for your next adventure with shades that are built to last. Our friends at Shady Rays have you covered with premium polarized shades that won't break the bank.

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from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC optimum points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. This meal cost us like $140, and the guy who served us wanted us to die instead of making us the hamburgers. There's no joke here, this is simply a fact,

but we lived, bitch, because we had to see the greatest fans right here in Austin, Texas. Wow. That's a fact. This is a lie section. Wait, no, that's a fact. He whispered, I don't mean it, I don't mean it.

Fuck him, fuck him, get the money. And I went, I think it's free. The lie was it cost 138. Yeah, it wasn't 140. Now he's exaggerating. Yeah, I can't believe. Next time he says it'll be $2,000. Hey, my burger was this big!

Dude, my burger was this big. Eric's this big. They were small, but it was the right amount of food? Yeah. When the default is the double, it has to be the right size of the burger. Yeah. And yeah, I think they really nailed it.

Even if we weren't share-able-ing the fries, which we did. Which they were. Yeah. Because they were shareable. I think that would have pushed it over the limit. So I think we got the perfect amount of food. Yeah, Michael did the triple and then got another one to go.

I was ready for it and I fucking finished it. You crushed it. Don't question me. I don't know. You look at me like Nick and it pisses me off. He was like, when you get there I'm going, woo woo woo woo woo. You went burgers and I said, get me a triple.

And you're like. It was really stunning. It's not something you typically do. Did I stutter? I'm the fucking ideas guy. I know how to eat. He's the fucking typically did I stutter not the fucking ideas guy? He's the ideas guy. I've learned to not get doubles cuz then I go what's next what's next? Yeah, Nick would have had a triple. Yeah, if I'd known you did know but he would have listened my child It was also there when we were ordering. Yeah

I was looking at us. I was like, I'm not asking for it We walked out here like this guy wants to be anywhere else in the world right now. Like he wasn't rude, but he was like dead and I'll kill you. I'll kill you, die, fucking die. It was, we went in like the middle of the day. It was empty. It was like early afternoon. Two.

It was two. AKA two. It was dead. There were four people walking out as like we walked in and then that was it. No one like really came and went. I was really surprised. I mean... Yeah, why isn't anyone eating burgers at two? Because they're $47. No one had a 50 spot to walk in with.

Sorry for the bastards. Why didn't... Oh, a burger place. I'll stop in. What the fuck? Well, what do I want? I want a burger, a small burger. I'll stop in. What the fuck? Well, what do I want? I want a burger, a small burger. Give me a large shareable. Well, I don't know.

Why don't they just use the company card that their podcast has? Yeah, that's what they should have done. And the money they stole from their friend Alfredo. We'll get it back. Hopefully we'll get it back. We fleeced Fredo and it paid for this meal. We fleeced the shit out of him. Yeah. We stole his shit. We're not even using that furniture. We fleeced Fredo and it paid for this meal. We fleeced the shit out of him. Yeah.

We stole his shit. We're not even using that furniture. We sold it. Yeah. Oh, when's the TV get delivered? To Eric's sweaty balls. We bought a 75 inch TV. Watch out.

It's gotta be big for Mario Kart. It's gotta be big for Mario Kart. We're gonna go to the new office, which is a house. We're gonna go nuts, crazy banana man style, take our underwear off, run around and then fucking play on the couch. We're gonna, we're new office which is a house, we're gonna go nuts crazy banana man style, take our underwear off, run around and fucking play on the couch. We're gonna- we're gonna- Just let it happen! Why- ending that with, and we're gonna play on the couch, is like-

That's what it's for! The game! Alfredo's been putting his balls on it for a while. Alfredo knows about playing on the couch. He has imprints. He's like, there's my little nugget. Is that- uh, Switch 2, Mario Kart, We played on the Michael Jordan podcast this last week. Well, we did half the podcast, and we have a new house. Yeah.

We did half the podcast of walking around, and then Jordan's like, fuck that fucker in. Yeah. And we plugged the switch in, and Nick was like, what do I do? And I'm like, you're pointing at the TV. Pointed the TV at us. Pointed the camera at the TV.

Just like when you were a kid and you wanted to make your own Red versus Blue, but you didn't know how, you just point the camera at the TV. Your scan lines be damned. Jordan, that's how I got hired. What? We hit record.

It became rage quit. I'm getting pissed off. Hey, do you want to work here? Not really. Are you serious? I guess. Yeah. No, no, no.

Yes. Fine. The, no, no. Yes. Fine. The new house is awesome. Very excited to be in here. That's what you think. I fucking blasted it last night. Spray paint, graffiti, T.P. did. No! Yeah, it's fucked up. We don't own it. Well, I wrote Eric Stinks. Oh, so they know who did it.

So they know it's not me. Well, I put it with a Z and then when we show up I'm gonna go, who did this? Well, they're not gonna think it's me if it says Eric Stinks. No, it's not me. Well, I put it with a Z, and then when we show up, I'm going to go, who did this? Well, they're not going to think it's me if it says Eric stinks. No, it's a hate Eric crime. Yeah. You stink, dude. Yeah.

Well, let me ask, is it like a crime if it's true? Wait. It's in the fact section right here. It's not in the fact section. Oh, wait, hang on. Eric does not stink, but he is gray as shit. Dude, it's getting worse. What the fuck?

Look at you, dude. I know it doesn't go backwards, it doesn't. It should go backwards. It should, I agree. No one can tell just from angel. That would be so... If I did it all of a sudden... Remember when I dyed your hair?

I can do it again when I became Gus. Did the eyebrows? If I showed up all of a sudden and my hair was not gray at all, I don't think I would hear the end of it. Yeah. No, I think you might be surprised. Yeah, you'd be like, wow, you look decent.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I can't put my finger on it. Eric looks like he hasn't given up. I can't quite place it. It's about when it started. 2018, I moved to Austin, Texas. It happened fast. It did.

Early face jam, it's like, whoa, what the fuck? Did you fall in a bucket or something? It's not gradual at all. Which episode caused it? Was it the wine calendar? I don't think it was us. I watch old episodes and go, holy shit, it was all brown? It was.

That's bad. It was. Wow. Is it going to go white? Is it going to keep going? Yeah. That's bad. It was, yeah. Is it gonna go white? Is it gonna keep going? Yeah. Does it change like chroma? Can you make it white?

Are you like, can you make it gray faster? Change, change, change. Can we make it gray faster? Oh yeah. It's not of collectively like, of the shows. Can Jeff pitch in maybe? Jeff is pitching in fine. Of the shows I produce,

this isn't necessarily the one making me gray faster. You sure? But it's the one getting to enjoy it. I'm so fucking mad about shit. What happened now? This other fucking show, Jordan and I are like, oh dude, he's mad about some other shit. I'm mad about- I'm fucking pissed.

I'm mad about Gavin. I'm mad about Gavin giving notes much later. Jeff was asking if you do a plug for Regulation at the beginning of this podcast, and he told him no and he was pissed. He said you do it on regulation. He says you can't stop talking about this podcast. If one show, yeah. I did tell him you do plug regulation

when you bitch about the fans and how much you hate them. Now here's the thing. Now here's the thing. If one show needs the lift. If one show needs the lift from the other show, it's not regulation getting plugged here. That's what I said. It's definitely the other way around.

Check out Minecraft on YouTube. So wait, you're fucking sending them over? Where are they coming from? I'm trying to get them over here. Wait, I'm sorry. Yeah. I know where my bread is buttered. With you, Jeff.

Oh, now he's talking. Is that Jeff's magic belt? Yeah. The fans, you guys, the 100% E fans have been so fucking awesome. Did you see the Denny Grendan thing? Jeff's magic belt like thing where Nick didn't know what Minecraft was and thought it was cloud

That's a different game really people photoshopping making stuff whatever there's a guy we posted it my friend's dad moved here from Poland Changed his name from Joseph to Denny Grendan. Not Danny, Danny Grendan, because he wanted to sound more American. I don't understand. A fan made a Danny Phantom edit where he whispered,

he whisper sang different lyrics to the Danny Phantom theme song. He wants his fortune now he's Danny Grinden. He can't talk to him he's dead. Danny Grinden. It's so fucking good. I sent it to my friends who knew Denny Grendan and they keep going, I can't stop fucking listening to this song about our friend's dead dad. My friend Andrew, who was my mechanic, Barbara Massouce is like, I'm driving to job sites

and I just have it on repeat in my car it stops and it plays again and I hate it but I can't stop it's fucking incredible what I know I was listening he was doing he's trying to talk and I'm like I don't know I don't know what's going on you'd like basically non-existent like does he Like does he not get like a quarter? He doesn't understand like... Can we cut him out of the episode? You know what the problem is? He got the big ovation. Yeah. He's done. He's phoning in. I heard he doesn't really do much. Yeah. I was gonna say he thinks it's regulation. Yeah. What?

Got nothing to contribute. What's about... Why are you just there? Typically you're screaming. You can't get enough screeching. What happened? Did you say you were like, hey, hey, you know what? Maybe you'll start screeching. Maybe you'll start screeching. You could have just got a drink.

Go get it. I have to get up. You have to get up, but people will high five you in the crowds as you walk by. Do it, make them happy. Just get up and do it. I'm not gonna. Now you have to.

Now you have to. Go do it. Hey, hey. They have to fucking high five you. Look at that! Get out! Okay. Is that what you ordered? That's not what he ordered.

What? This is a dirty monkey. It's a what? Oh. A dirty monkey. A dirty monkey? He's gonna get it everywhere. Put it in the tip jar.

Alright, drink it. You wanna talk right into that microphone, you say something. You don't need to talk, just drink the goddamn thing. He's gonna spill it. Look at this. Look at this. He's so close to spilling it That's the bit Did they put Eric's name on the bag it could be funny

I'm fucking ready drink it Okay, he's like he botched it now. You'll have the fire and the energy to run to the bar and get us drinks. Woo! I would do it, I can't leave. Thank you. Okay, what did it taste like? Peanut butter and banana. Oh, that's actually pretty cool.

It was really good. Nice. Can I get one of those? Do you feel compelled to go get more drinks? Yeah. Okay, cool. Go high five people. Hey, Jordan, all this drink is-

You keep saying I don't wanna get up. No, I won't. It's like, I'll kill you. You keep saying I don't wanna get up. No, I won't. It's like, I'll kill you. You're just sitting there. It's like 30 feet. I shall not. What the hell are you talking about? I can't see.

Do you want me to help you? I'll help you. Okay, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Why does he need a- Okay, okay. Oh God, oh God, they're gonna die. That's honestly really impressive. Okay. Oh God. Oh God, they're gonna die.

There's- That's honestly really impressive. Yeah. Look, and now he's- And look, he's doing it! He's high-fiving the crowd. He like stretched his fucking legs out for no reason. He went, what are you doing?

The guy was like 18 pounds and going, what the fuck are you doing? You picked him up and he started going, he started to himself going, light as a feather, stiff as a board. light as a feather, stiff as a board. Light as a feather, stiff as a board. That was so weird. He almost died.

There was a moment that looked- He yelled we're gonna die and I said I'll never let it happen baby. Daddy made you, I gave you that mask, I'll never let it happen. I gotta say, I'm glad I touched your abs, man. You're strong. Yeah, thank you.

It's pretty great. You finally proved it. You can do it again later. Oh, okay. Here's the thing, whoever wins the gold cup in Mario Kart gets a touch. Ew, whoa. Oh, whoa. I'm going to practice whoever wins the gold cup in Mario Kart gets a touch. Ew, whoa. Oh, whoa, I'm going to practice.

Hey, Jordan, do you wanna teach us about the food? He said no like five times, and I was like, okay, but for real though, you're literally doing nothing. Get the fuck down there. He's standing in the bar with the mask on. He's like, whoa, I'm gonna say, ooh, in nine more minutes. The people who work here don't give a fuck about this. Nothing.

Please let the monkey pass. Let's learn about this restaurant. Let him cut or he'll freak out and rip your balls off. I've seen him do it. He'll do it. The Not a Damn Chance Burger Burger. Yep. At NADC, we offer one burger, one way.

The burger consists of one third pound Wagyu beef, American cheese, secret sauce, onions, pickles, and slightly tamed jalapenos. Now that's capitalized. Is that a brand of some sort? That is what they do with jalapenos and I don't know what it is. Did they taste slightly tamed? I guess. He's back empty-handed. Did you get it? What'd you get? I got something for Jordan. You got what? Something for Jordan. Something for Jordan. Something for all of us? Can we coming. What'd you get? I got something for Jordan. You got what? Something for Jordan. Something for Jordan.

You didn't get something for all of us? Did we get something for all of us? What the fucking fuck? What was your mission? Well, he's like, I got something for Jordan. He'll say, you didn't bring it back. Fucking. Yeah, give me this guy.

Chris is back there and didn't help him, but it's sort of what I expected. Chris figured out what he just did. If you guys were here last year. What? If you guys. We weren't here last year. Shut the, oh my God.

I've spent- He's not talking to you. I've spent talking now. Get him, get him, get him. I've spent so much time with that, with this fucking guy over like the last one. That's who I sat over there. Oh man.

At Homebrew last year, at the Sunset Room, Chris helped us out and did the Michael Jordan podcast where he talked about having a dream about where Blaine was mad at him and he took a shit in a river. It was a whole thing. So it's good to see he's back, Chris. Way to go, man.

That's great. Chris, Chris, we're not gonna be able to be on the podcast. Yeah. Is that okay? Sorry. When do you wanna come over? Yeah. All right.

Two weeks? Two weeks. All right, we'll see you then. Lock the door. Yeah. Grudge night rematch. Hey, press material. We've got two. Yep. And they say quote, there are so many different sub genres of burgers. What? Chef Lee tells Paper City. Neen and I quote, both had our first kids about a month apart from each other three years ago. Burgers are a fun and easy family type thing to eat. The balance of flavors, textures, and mouthfeel are important to us. Hey, what's up? What the fuck are you?

That kid like three years ago, you guys like mouthfeel? Burgers are fun and easy family type thing to eat. Family type thing. eat. Do you have family type thing? Wait a minute, I'm starting to think the two skateboarders or whatever, just getting together to make sub genres of burgers might be idiots. There's a lot of sub genres.

We have one. We got one. You can order burgers. Our sub genre is hamburger. Yeah, what is the sub genre? Slightly tamed jalapenos? Yeah, but I don't get it. They definitely have a goal in mind, Jordan.

Oh shit. Quote, we want to be the biggest burger company in the world one day, Lee says, and we're just getting started. Wow. No fucking shot. What? You open like four locations and you're like,

Holy shit. Those golden arches, man. We're coming for you fuckers. I know. What the fuck is wrong with you? I know. Yeah. This is crazy.

Well, we have our review of Not a Damn Chance Burger, but we need to hear what you think in a segment we call You Review! Hit the jingle, everybody! You Review! Wow, I really... Lindsay likes her singing. Lindsay just texted and said, she loves it when you sing. What is this?

Pass him down. I asked Lindsay, I was like, hey, she dropped me off, I'm like, hey, do you want to come to the show? She's like, no. I was like, that's fine. Dan! Thanks, Dan! Thank off. I'm like, hey, do you want to come to the show? She's like, no. I was like, that's fine. Dan! Dan!

Thank you, Dan! Oh, Eric's favorite piss. Drink it up, dribble dribble, little boy. Uh-oh. Did this little guy win his ID? Yeah. Hey, cheers to a live show and to this great crowd. Yeah.

Fuck. That's how you get a pop. Oh, that was the monkey thing. Oh, it's close. That's so peanut buttery. Peanut butter whiskey. Jesus Christ. Is it peanut butter whiskey with something?

It's just peanut butter whiskey, and it's great. Screwball. Fuck. That was like a spicy for a second. Yeah. I love it. That's pretty good. He loves it.

All right. On July 18, it's the Blue Crew to the rescue. It's smurfing time! Hefty. Can you even lift, bro? Clouchy. I hate the radio. Quiet.

There's something important to tell you. I have no idea what he just said. And smurf-esque. That's how it's done, boys! Smurf, only in theaters July 18th. Now here's the thing. What's the thing? How do we handle this?

What's the thing? Hang on. The third one on here is long. No shit. And we can't... It's big. Go long. And we can skip it.

Why the fuck would we do that? Why would we print it and skip it on the live show? Does it suck? No. No it doesn't. Okay. But we should start with the first one. But why would we skip it?

In case you go, oh this has been so good we don't need it. Skip one once ever and you said it like it's super, like, eh, we can skip that one. What the hell are you talking about? Because? You'll see. What? Yep.

I'll read the first one. It's a secret. It fucking sucks. I'll read the first one. This is from Henry. Read the first one. His name is Henry L. What it says.

God damn it. It's not that funny. It's not that, you're really, like it's funny, but they're going, oh man. Not a Dan chance they will ever get my money again. Dan, D-A-N-N. Not a Dan chance. Not a Dan chance. Thanks, Dan. They will ever get my money again. Way overpriced food.

It's ridiculous to spend that amount of money on food that you will crap about later. Especially a burger with zero distinct flavor. Smaller than your palm of your hand. No lie. No lie. French fries, nothing special. Literally, what aurger has a better everything

than this place. What the fuck are you talking about? Do not give into the hype. There are better burgers. Try shortstop on Mon-Munchek or 38 and a half location. Try shortstop is fucking insane. I like Whataburger. What the fuck are you talking about?

What are you talking about? It's cheaper Like telling people hey what a burger has everything better than this. That's a Texas thing Whatever cheaper people like it. I agree with the boo. Uh But then to end it with try short stop fucking fight me Fredo. Yeah, I'll rip this shirt off I'll rip this shirt off. I'll pull your nipples out. Wait till the end of the show. You thought you were fleeced before? We're gonna take his clothes.

Take everything this time. Oh, the shirt off is back. Has anyone been to short stop? Yeah. I'm glad someone yelled no. Yeah. I haven't, but I wanna participate. Fuck you.

Hey, hey Jeff, short stop. Hey. Hey Jeff shortstop So Jeff gave it a big thumbs up Hey Jeff's right Jeff might be Henry L. No, that's Jeff That's Jeff or every L not a damn not a damn chance Go to water are you doing this? You want me to read this fucking hell hole at the end or what which one should I read? Yeah, which one fits my style? Um the second one fits your style. Okay, and he really fucking slammed you with that. Yeah Mirage C says burger is a seven mid buns plus fries and living off the wagyu patty But can still hit the spot dot dot dot dot. However. my issue is they are not dog friendly, dot dot dot.

They refuse service for a bomb sniffing service dog. I'll clarify, refusing service, walked in with my cute German short hair, pointer, dot dot dot, they asked I leave. I clarified, oh, I'm taking the food to go. And they doubled down that they prefer I don't. I clarified that she is a service dog, AKA retired bomb sniffing dog.

Not a service dog. Yup, they tripled down on preferring not to. Preferring from the food injury is the same as spitting on your food, so it's a no-go. When I walked out, folks who were sitting outside offered food for the doggo and apologized. That's how bad it was. I hope the cashier

stubs their toe and develops the worst ragweed allergy. What the fuck are you talking about? And the people outside, they were cheering. They said, hero dog. And they said, shame, shame. And then that guy came with a bomb and he couldn't stop him because he was retired. And the boot was on me and they were stepping on me so much, and the treading. What the fuck are you talking about? A service dog retired.

Oh, does this dog, are you blind? Do you have an impairment? No, this dog sniffs bombs. It used to sniff bombs. What do you got in here? Hero dog. Get out with your fucking hero dog. Hero person.

Cop dog? Ipso facto, give me a burger. Yeah, exactly. I prefer to eat- Dude, strap in for this one. Grab your water, quench up. I wanted this one. Hey, Eric said you might wanna skip this one.

Hey, let's see if it was skippable. I like this one because, like some we've read in the past, some people wanna be food influencers in the way that they write, like it's 2010 blogs. Oh yeah. Yeah, so great Let's have a look at what gonna be some Kevin Smith humor. I can already tell moquita queue Let's get ready for something. I don't know what he'd a queue says The burger that they give you was mid if I'm being honest

Comparing it to Trillburgers in Houston. Anyone Trillburgers? I wish. Cool. You like? You like? Okay. Okay.

That was rude. I wish they put more thought into the type of seasoning they use for their burger sauce. And even the seasoning they sprinkle on the meat right before it's grilled. The quality of the meat was very good, but it's wag wagyu so I would expect nothing but the most tender meat but it's like they solely depended on the unseasoned barely flavorful meat to carry this burger into the top 10% spot and I'm here to bring places with crappy customer service and

a crap menu back down to reality. That's right. Damn dude. We are halfway. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I went here because I fell for a clearly paid food influencer post. Did we get fucking paid?

No. I fucking wish. You fucking suck. We blew it. We paid them. On their alleged amazing burger. They don't sell fries or deserts. They do sell fries.

They do! What the fuck are you talking about? Now to be clear, they do sell fries. They also do sell desserts. They also have beverages. Calm the fuck down, dude. They also have desserts. They have daily desserts.

Yeah, but they don't have deserts. They don't have deserts. Gobi, Sahara, Mojave. Jordan, what do they have? Just a mid burger with bad customer service. Oh no! The guy was clearly overworked and he was like, I don't want to eat this. I don't want to eat this.

I don't want to eat this. I don't want to eat this. I don't want to eat this. I don't want to eat this. I, what do they have? Just a mid burger with bad customer service. Oh no! The guy was clearly overworked and underpaid. He looks underpaid, I can tell. So much so that he barely speaks. Oh, is this our guy? Has sort of like a stank face at all times

and struggles to grill and prepare literally the only item available on the menu. There was plenty of seating at this place because hardly no one ain't there. Hardly no one ain't there. If they did, they were like me and were referred there by paid food influencers, I'm sure. I could totally relate to complete strangers after tasting our first bite. We were expecting a Trill Burger cheer from the Houstonians. Burst of flavor, but nah.

It was mid, so I finished it. I gotta get every morsel. Gotta. Oh, this sucks. I did pay $16 after all, so I didn't want it to go to waste. This place is connected to a bar bar and the bar is pretty dope Everything that this place lacks the bar has great customers

Why are you talking about the bar? drinks excellent ambience Seating can be a challenge They don't have dog sniffing And they don't allow dog sniffing, bomb sniffing dogs. Dog sniffing bombs or bomb sniffing dogs. And they even refer you to places that sell the best burgers and fries in Austin. They're going to another place? Idiot.

Guys, I ended up going to the Peach Tortilla for their burgers as a referral and it was amazing just like they recommended. Please stay tuned for my review of that place. Chef's Kiss. What? What? What? These fucking paid adfluencers. Hey, head on down to Peach Tortilla for the best burgers in Austin.

I sure enjoyed it. It was a smooth trip with no- This was a false flag operation. This was a paid stunt by Peach Tortilla. Hang on, real quick quick rare fourth comment any art wasn't allowed to eat burger without ID wasn't allowed to eat burger what the power you doing get out of here where's your ID why did you look there I got scared I thought Alfredo was calling out the person there was like I thought

Alfredo was crawling up here I I got nervous. Here boy. Look at him up there. Is it because of the bar? Is that why he couldn't? I wanna take that shirt off him and wrestle him on stage. Hit him. That'll be, that'll be the Michael Jordan podcast. Yeah.

Oh, it's that kind of show, boy. It will be. The next one will be. We're gonna come down here and we're gonna talk about fleas in your ass. Where's the whole ice cream? So we had Not a Damn Chance Burger. Oh yeah.

We ate, we ate every fucking bite of Not a Damn Chance Burger. It's so hard, I can't do it. And it was so mean. I can't do it, I kept going, you can do it, Eric. And he was like, I'm gonna do it, Michael. It was so good, even though,

it was very weird. Even though there was, I was doing, even can do it Eric. And he was like, I'm gonna do it, Michael. I'm gonna finish it. It was so good even though, even though there was, even though there was one fly that would not leave Jordan alone, this fly was pig penning this motherfucker. Yeah. It was crazy. I was like, yeah, yeah. But he's not fucking doing it.

What the fuck are you, but also why? When do you ever wait? You just go banana nuts, bullshit, yelling, the whole show and I really I'm biting my time. What the fuck for what the show's almost over He's like, I'm not gonna give it to him for free. We would never they showed up I don't ever talk over each other on this show

We've never had two separate conversations Shut the fuck up, but people are gonna leave like so I'm gonna do shit. Yeah, it's fucking dud How was it sauce monkey fucking socks? So it's like I don't know. He'll do something. He's not fucking doing anything You're doing here's the thing We we are said we're setting him up for success later too no we're not because no we're not I know we're gonna say It's not success. Because there's a burger coming? Are you promoting the fucking paid-in-place?

Paid-in-place? Paid promotion, promoted. What's up? We can start charging. Check out the peach tortilla. No, no, no, no, no. The asshole. After the show and after we do the Michael Jordan podcast,

we're gonna be up at the top there. Cameron's already in line. We're gonna be at the top there there. Cameron's already in line. We're gonna be at the top there. And this dark empath. Hello. Will be telling fortunes and letting you know what your future holds. He'll be channeling the spirits of your emotions.

Yeah. Into the heart of the cards. You will be okay. And if this show is anything. And if you get an I'll kill you. Yeah. Is that why he's just like, I'm not doing shit until I get up there.

Maybe he's just saving it. I'm fucking saving saving it I'm the monkey mystic what that is what it is we got a little hat that yeah might feel uncomfortable wearing oh yeah who's putting the hat on you are inside the no no you're we're putting it on the top of the monkey head who the you we have pins who's gonna do this is a most he's fucking talk the whole episode bullshit okay well it's not bullshit you haven't said the end it's gonna be up there never asking for stuff but now we're like I mean it's a fucking why'd you shake you had anything to say it's a lie yeah I'm gonna sit this one out

think I'm gonna guys scream I don't stop and I was like I'm not feeling a regulation this way we have that chicken going you good we talked about it when The guy screamed non-stop and I was like, I'm not feeling it. What the fuck? I think I'm gonna regulation this one. We had that check in going, you good? We talked about it when we were at Not A Damn Chance Burger. There was a post on Reddit that was on the front page and it was like, what legendary YouTube channel no longer posts videos?

It read like that? Yeah, when it's on Reddit, it's exactly how it's read. Yeah. So I'm scrolling down. I think It's exactly how it's red. Yeah. So I'm scrolling down. I think it was written by Moquita. Yeah. I want to see where Rooster Teeth lands. So I'm in there and baby I'm scrolling.

I'm scrolling. No way, no. Get me deep in there. Boom, boom, boom. No Rooster Teeth, Achievement Hunter. Oh man. Yeah. For some reason, dude, I'll be honest.

You suck after Ray left. Thanks Ray. Yeah Ray what the fuck man he could have hung out for like another two months. Dude how could you do that to Michael? So this post is like dude Achievement Hunter great and then it's a lot of people really putting us over hey check out 100% 100%, check out Stinky Dragon. I also like the level of achievement 100, don't mention Jeff, mention Ray. Yeah. What the fuck? What the fuck?

Oh, you're talking about achievement 100 Ray? Hell yeah. So it's mentioning all of us, it's really good, and then it's like regulation podcast, check out this podcast. And then it's people like Eric fucking sucks, whatever. It's the shit I'm used to, it doesn't matter. I left that one.

It doesn't matter. We all know this. Yeah, yeah, but then there's stuff that's like, oh, when Andrew does this, oh, it makes me so mad. There's one post, it's one guy going, I can't fucking stand Nick. That's the third time I've heard that story. On Regulation Podcast, the most inoffensive guy, he's along for the ride. Gavin's like, I have an idea. Nick's like, yeah, it's great. It's like, it's elevating everything, whatever. Yes and.

Right. Where's that today? Fucking stupid. You're not going to believe what Nick did. Did Gavin do this? Yeah. Yeah. They fucking suck on that.

Hey, you want to do a quick video on GTA? It'll take 10 minutes to set up. Jeff threw a grenade, he got bored. That's exactly- Sorry! Michael was talking about, oh dude, when it was Achievement Hunter, it was Jeff getting bored throwing a grenade,

or Gavin getting in trouble. Oh, he jumped out of the fucking plane. All that, oh now we have to start over, whatever. It's funny. Oops. And then I said, that's really not the case now. It's not Jeff, and it's not Gavin. It's Nick.

What? Every time we play GTA. Yeah. What? Here we go. He sounds like he's agreeing with me. It's kind of weird because you're talking to Nick, but this is the monkey. These are preemptive strikes where he's like, yeah.

Yeah. Eric, I agree with you. We got to answer these. I agree with you. Be Nick on these if you're talking regulation. Guys, feed another thing that he sucks at. How else is he pissing you off? I agree with you. We gotta answer these as well. I agree with you. Be Nick on these if you're talking regulation. This guy's on the best. Feed another thing that he sucks at. How else is he pissing you off?

Oh my God. What? This guy, hey, we gotta set up- Is he getting hard? We gotta set up- Brok hard under this table. Give me that tip jar. Show me these rats.

We gotta set up a stream for regulation podcast. Easy. All day. We're there all day. We gotta set up a stream for Regulation Podcast. Easy. All day. We're there all day. We wait till the final 20 minutes and then we go, huh, this isn't working. Why?

That's a good time to find out that it's not working. I set up the first stream. I didn't catch a word. I set up the first stream. You set up the first stream. And then waited for Love Island to end. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and his dog to watch a TV he hates in our office. Re-coupling, isn't that in like alpha verse, like wolf stuff? What the fuck are you talking about?

Hey, what are you into? Emily knows. Who's talking about smut shit? A mega verse. That's it, that's it. Yeah. Yeah. Also, re-couple, right?

Also, stick around later for Clutch My Pearls. My wife will be here later. Yeah! All right, can I be on? Can I be on? That was a bigger ovation than us. Can Michael be on? Can I talk about Akatar?

Yeah. Oh, they are not talking about Akatar today. What are they talking about? I can't say. I can't say. My wife will unveil it. I feel like you can say, you're being a fucking bitch. No, that's him!

What? We talking about the BlackBorn? No, he's being polite and quiet, you fucking hoe. He's contributing. Ball-headed bitch. No, that's him. What? We talking about the blackboard? He's being polite and quiet. You fucking hoe. He's contributing. Ball headed bitch. Oh, the Denny Grendan video the guy used has a picture of me bald headed flying at the screen

and then he punches it and explodes. My friends have never seen that. God rest his soul, Denny Grendan. It's he haunt you tonight. Bald headed me explodes and they just went, what the fuck was that? And I went, that's me with bald headed behavior. One guy went, what the fuck is that?

And the other guy went, I get it. Come on. And that's bald headed behavior. You get it or you don't. That's some bullshit. Well, that was your review of not an EMT hamburger, but we have. You got a fucking stall dude.

No, no, no, we got plenty of time. No, no, no, we're good because I have too much time He's gotta read all that shit yeah, don't worry about it my god read all that well he reads fucking slow I think I think you should go first on the review. I go whoa Michaels going first. I think I should go first whoa Not a damn chance burger is good. They have like a it's like. I don't know if it's a melted cheese sauce Not a damn chance burger is good. They have like a, it's like, I don't know if it's a melted cheese sauce. Their sauce is really cool.

It's like real cheese, but melted, like almost liquid, but it's thick. So fucking good. I get the triple cause you go, double is good. And then you go, it's almost gone. We all did it. You were eating it and I went, I get the triple cause you're eating it and go, oh no, it's almost gone.

And you were like, oh my God, I'm doing that right now. Every single one of us on the last bite, no. Eric also kept going, the fries are so fucking good. The fries are so fucking good. Oh my fucking God, they're so good. That's like my ideal french fry. It's so good. The ketchup's good too.

Dude, this drink made me sweat. Is there like special ketchup? Hey, the ketchup's good too. The ketchup's good too. The, this drink made me fucking sweaty. Yes! Is there like special ketchup? Hey, the ketchup's good too. The ketchup's good too. The ketchup for the fries is good. Don't forget the ketchup. Did you like the ketchup? Who the fuck has like special ketchup?

They do. What, is it ketchup? I think they make it. I think they make it, but maybe not. Who knows? Is it spicy? Yes! It's tangy.

They answered the question. They said yes, what the fuck are you saying? I'm saying it's tangy, it's not spicy. You said tangy, tangy. They might be thinking of Zippo Burger fuck are you saying? I'm saying it's tangy. It's not They might be thinking of Zippo Or whatever it was Trillo come on so I've been the not a damn chance burger I was saying we should go eventually yeah, this was awesome We were like hey people can go if they want to spend 75 dollars on burgers It so I went to the rainy street one this was like a different place and I was going oh my god

I hope it's like the same my house when yeah, I'm just like really kind of hyping this up I'm like I'm hyping it up, and they fuck it up. That's their problem. It wasn't hyped up No, it's just as good. Yep. I fucking love this burger. I'm not fucking around. I'm giving it a 97 Wow Wow It's awesome. Oh, it's expensive. Shut the fuck up. Make Eric pay for it. Also, I lost the card. I'm not sure what it is.

I'm not paying for it. Dude. That's a special treat. If Gus ever. Why is he talking after you? I don't know. Because I'm setting this up. Ready?

Watch this. Are you gonna put something in the store late or early? Get on set? Oh, fuck it already. I'll quit if this happens. It happened. All right, I guess I Oh, fuck, it already went out. I'll quit if this happens, it happened. All right, I guess I won't quit, but I'm mad. If Gus ever hung out, this would be the spot to take him.

Oh yeah, yeah. I think it would be cool to see where it lands on his rating scale. The biggest thing is like, fuck, that's expensive. Fair. If you know that going in, it's better than like a restaurant quality burger. Oh yeah.

Compared to that. Fucking Whataburger? What are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? It's better than a Whataburger. It's like, what are you talking about? It's better than a Whataburger. I can't comprehend it.

What are you talking about? Even Nick says it. It's way better than a Whataburger. It's way better than a Whataburger. So listen. I'll take a guess. We've got four minutes left. We've got time.

Don't worry about it. So listen. I'll take guffs. We got four minutes left. We got time, don't worry about it. And then the Eric Nick podcast special edition. Yay! We go sit in the green room. We're gonna leave early. Help me set the stream up. Nope. My thoughts on this is that you can tell the craft that went into it.

I can tell they spent a lot of time on this cheese sauce, this hybrid cheese sauce thing that they put on it. And that is where most a lot of time on this cheese sauce, this hybrid cheese sauce thing that they put on it. And that is where most of the flavor comes from, as well as all the other toppings. My complaint, and you heard this in some of the U-Review, they do not season the patty. And I'm used to a Smashburger having some of that season. But it's just- You weren't complaining at the time. It's just-

I'm going, Jordan, the fucking cheese, I don't care! It's just a different delivery system of the flavor. You get it from the cheese and that's cool with me. It is a good burger. I'm going to hit it with an 89. Wow. That's like a Michael 120. Yes.

That is an average score of 93 for Not a Damn Chance Burger. If you're like, man, I should try it. It's expensive. You should try it. Yeah. It's fucking awesome. It's worth it to go to. If you go, not a burger is better than this.

Fuck you. Yeah. Just make sure your Patreon subscription is in good order. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, don't move too fast in front of the guy at the register. He might fuck you up. Well, that's what we think about Not a Damn Chance Burger.

One of the highest scores. What do you think? We started, you're like, it's good, it's good. We're like, shut the fuck up, dude. What are you talking about? That place is incredible. Thanks. I want to go back.

Yeah, let's go. You were supposed to go today. You didn't bring the shit. That was on Nick. No. You were going to get it. He was going to hit you. No, you fucked up. The most he stopped all day that's on you

Uh, suckin. Yeah, he hasn't said it once. Say it. What do you mean? Suckin What did you say? He's never said it like that. That sucked. That was strange He said it in like his normal speaking voice He said it in like his normal speaking voice Just to grab this away from me. Yeah Yeah, that's how you say that's how you say that's a piece. I suck. Yep. Well, it's forgotten who he is We're recording this on a Sunday, but it will be out this week. This is Tuesday's episode. This is this one We're like, hey, this is awesome to live show. But also we're not gonna fucking work twice. Yeah, no shit. Uh, so

This is awesome to do a live show, but also we're not gonna fucking work twice. Yeah, no shit. Uh, so But we will be working twice this week because this Tuesday the day this episode comes out We will be live because we're gonna be streaming for the release of the switch fork to The switch to is out and so is the switch fork two. He's saying you're being a bitch and you're making him go to the office to set up the shit tomorrow. And he's like, fuck this guy, that's bullshit.

Why do I have to go on Monday anyway? He keeps saying, I gotta go tomorrow. Fuck him, fuck him. I think it's a good thing we're in between them. And I'm going, wait, you're going on Monday and Eric's not and he's like, yeah, he's a bitch. I'm going on Monday because I have to set up the set. You're going on Monday to watch him work

like a little asshole. Watch him work. We had three weeks. Tuesday when this comes out, what Tuesday? We're going to be streaming. We're gonna do a live 100% treat. Why?

Plus probably playing Mario Kart. Mario Kart, yeah. Plus, we'll be releasing the Switch 4, plus two new shirts, one of which is this. Oh yeah, shut him titties. Man, he's squirtin'. Ooh, he's making a mess. Uh oh.

Oh, is that not it? This is a little. Good catch up, good catch up. This is a messy monkey. We were talking to BK. Canonically, this is Nick. I'm so confused. We were talking to BK and Caleb before the show,

and they're like, I fucking love that shirt. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, This is like based on like the stuff that I would wear in like seventh grade, like hookups. It's based on shit you hang up in your bedroom now and go to town on that. Yeah, absolutely. So it's this and we also have the sauce industry shirt, which is a rip off of world industries.

No, it's not. Don't call it a rip off. It's heavily inspired by it. Can you hurry the fuck up? I didn't know, Jeff, did you know that that was Rodney Mullen? Rodney Mullen started World Industries? I had no idea.

Is he in the Tony Hawk? Yes. Yeah, hell yeah. So 1 p.m. Central time on Tuesday. The date central comes out. Hurry up, you're over time. Jesus Christ. Plus you can check out the Michael Jordan podcast,

which we're gonna record right after this at patreon.com slash 100% eat. Can I go to the bar? Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Blue Sky. I'll go with you. We're gonna go now, we're gonna go to the bar. Come high five the monkey. Plus you can send in your treats to PO Box 143241

Austin, Texas 78714. That's PO Box 143241, Austin, Texas 78714. But don't forget these are on sale, 1PM, 1PM, 100% 78714. But don't forget these are on sale, 1pm, 1pm, 100% eat.store. There's a basketball hoop at like the end of the- Oh, there's no way, right? There's no way, but we'll try it. Hey, make sure you rate, you subscribe,

and you tell a friend about the show where we eat the food and rate the food. Thank you for listening or watching or being here in person. Go! Not even...oh wow. You got two more chances. We got it. Play that theme song! What the fuck was that?

Watch this. Kobe. It hit the AC. I'm too strong. Thank you! MUSIC