100% Eat - Whataburger Bacon Blue Cheese Burger & Banana Pudding Shake

Episode Date: August 2, 2022

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Whataburger Bacon Blue Cheese Burger & Banana Pudding Shake so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about the Michael, Jordan Podcast What-a-Burger style, the love/hate of blue cheese, and being traitors to Sauce Monkey Nick. Sponsored by Honey (http://joinhoney.com/FACEJAM) HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/FACEJAM16 and use code facejam16) and DoorDash (DoorDash app, enter code FACEJAM) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Conditions apply. This is a Rooster Teeth production. All right. Whenever you're ready, Kelly. Kelly was too fast. No, you're fine. It's everything. He said whenever you're ready, not whenever I'm ready.

You said all right. I said all right to myself. I just said it. He was still kind of talking to himself. He was like, I got to get my head on. I got to get my head on. I just said that. He didn't have my head on.

Yeah, you're saying all right. Let's get started. Did that sound like I said let's get started? No, not at all. You still don't sound like you're ready. Because I'm not. I'm not ready. I'm not ready yet.

Yeah, keep sucking that down. Drink away'm not. I'm not ready. I'm not ready yet. Yeah, keep sucking that down. Drink away your problems. I'm trying. Jesus Christ. Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we start before I'm ready. Because Eric has no fucking patience at all, ever. And also, sometimes we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do.

I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, body like an hourglass, ticking like a clock, Jordan Sweers. Yeah, I'm thinking I'm ready. Jordan, how are you? Could really feel the ramping up of readiness. I like that. He's getting into 15 more seconds. It would have started at that level. Thank you for the great compliments about my body.

He's getting into some misery business and I'm ready for it. I actually have been doing some business lately. Well, my self-confidence is through the roof right now. It's good. So this is an opposite episode. Oh, today

we're reviewing the Whataburger Bacon Blue Cheese Burger and Banana Pudding Shake. Banana. A lot of Bs. A lot of Bs. Whataburger Bacon Blue Cheese Burger and Banana Pudding Shake. Fun to say. When they put burger in the name of the restaurant. Yeah.

You have a Whataburger burger. It just kind of sounds stupid. Well, it just sounds like you're a fucking moron sonic i'm gonna get the what no that makes sense because you might be talking about the hedgehog yeah it's true i'm gonna eat sonic why would you do that how are we gonna fucking catch him let's go eat shadow is that what he does yeah shadow the hedgehog's whole thing is he shoots him with a gun and then he's been trying to eat him since yeah like how many guns do you think he's gonna have eat Sonic. He's been trying to eat him since Sonic 06. How many guns do you think he's going to have in Sonic 3?

He's just going to be like John Wick. Yeah, I'm thinking of bats. I hope he's voiced by Keanu Reeves. That would rule. Then he's going to fuck that bat. The bat shows up in Sonic 4. Yeah, and he fucks it. I think she wants to fuck him.

I don't know if he wants to fuck the bat. It gets wild. I think Shadow the Hedgehog is, like, hanging out with Big the Cat, and then a bunch of people come and kill Big the Cat. Oh, man, I can't wait until Big the Cat shows up. How is Shadow appearing before Amy, even? I don't even understand.

I'm not really up to date on the Sonic 4. Or Silver. I will say. Once Silver shows up, you know that he's a god or something, right? Yeah to date on the Sonic. Or Silver. I will say. Once Silver shows up, you know. He's like a god or something, right? I like the crocodile. He's bottom tier. I like the crocodile who wears headphones. He's pretty cool. He does wear headphones.

That sounds like a DK character. It's very much a DK character. But he got locked up. No, no, no. There's another. There's like a crocodile who wears headphones. We know. Yeah.

We know who he is. He kind of jogs like this. In Sonic Head, it's very reminiscent of a Donkey Kong Country character where it's just a bunch of big stupid lizards and shit. Yeah. When you get outside of the core Sonic the Hedgehog thing, and I think Amy is the beginning of that. Yeah.

Where Amy is the one where you go, is this really like in the sphere? Sonic's Sonic. Uh-huh. I mean, you're already in. Uh-huh. Sonic, you're in. Tails. Uh-huh.

He's the second one. That makes sense. He's got a good name. It makes sense makes sense. He's got a good name. He's got to fight you. Nobody knows what an echidna is, but we're going to allow it. We don't want another hedgehog. And then they get to Amy. You guys are getting away from her.

She's a little too humanoid. Then they went Bat, Alligator, God Sonic, Shadow Sonic. What I don't get is everyone has names like Sonic Knuckles and Tails and then they went and here's his girlfriend

Amy Yeah she got a hammer They couldn't call her Pink Girl She's gonna wallop you Like what is she? Animal wise Is she another hedgehog?

She might be another hedgehog based on She might be I mean I would say based on how she looks but they all look the same I don't think I could draw her from memory I think i could get the face and the hammer yeah in a skirt

because she looks like a human i could draw her from memory but it'd only be she would be barefoot i couldn't i couldn't get through because eric knew where I was going before I got there. And he started laughing. She would be pitiful. I'm really good at drawing her legs in the air. I only know how to draw Amy with stink lines coming off her toes. She likes East Egg.

He's all about East Egg. Oh my fucking god. Why the fuck are we talking about Sonic in the Whataburger episode? Well, this is what... It's better. Sonic is coming to Whataburger Zoom. That's going to be the promotion for Sonic 3.

I think Sonic is better than Whataburger. And I don't even like Sonic. Food-wise? Yeah. Or just like an atmosphere? I think in general. I'd eat them both. I'd eat them both. I'd try them both.

Yeah? I've never had a hedgehog. What if Sonic the Hedgehog got a friend in the new movie named Whataburger? Whoa. That'd be something. Going by the name, I guess it'd be a burger, too. No, he's a duck. Yeah.

This is my duck friend, Whataburger. And you're never going to believe the way I draw him. Are you saying Waterburger? Yeah, maybe they'll call him Waterburger. If everyone says Waterburger. Holy shit. This is a good idea. This is...

Yeah, don't take it. Yeah, don't steal this from us. We need to get paid for this. Yeah, somebody pay us for our Sonic the Hedgehog ideas. And so it's a banana pudding shake and a blue cheeseburger. Bacon. Okay. The bacon was inconsequential.

Yeah, the bacon is there, too. There's some bacon flavor. I'm just saying, like, a bacon cheeseburger is... That's nothing to write home about. Right. Everyone has that. Right. Although we have reviewed many on this show as if they were something the rest of us.

Sometimes you gotta just push through. But the blue cheese is like, okay, yeah. I mean, it's a well-known enough thing, right? But it also is rare enough. It's usually not a staple. Yeah, it's never a staple. And if it shows up at your go-to burger place, you try it. Yeah, I feel like if you went to a regular,

like any fast food kind of burger place right now, it. Yeah, I feel like if you went to a regular, like, any fast food kind of burger place right now, unless it's a limited time thing, blue cheese is probably not on the menu very much. This would be something you would expect like HopDotty to have all the time. Oh, yeah, yeah. They do. This is definitely like cheese. Isn't that like the magic shroom?

Yeah, probably. I just always scroll past that when I'm looking at the menu. I feel like that's how i read menus when you get out of fast food when you get out of fast food and into like a more of like casual dining like a sit-down place that stuff you see a lot more a lot like blue cheese incredibly common in that kind of thing like i feel like chilies is always gonna have a blue cheese they're always talking about blue cheese they're constantly talking about blue cheese crumbles i walk into chili's and i go shut the always talking about blue cheese crumbles. They're constantly talking about blue cheese crumbles. I walk into Chili's

and I go, shut the fuck up about blue cheese crumbles. Right, you just say, I'm here to use the bathroom. I'm out of here. Would you like some blue cheese crumbles

to get you going? Shut up. Friday's is under renovation. Shut up. There's no more Fridays in Austin. Well, we could find them. Yeah, we gotta like

go down to San Antonio. Underground. Yeah. We push them all find them. Yeah, we gotta like go down to San Antonio. Yeah, it's underground. Yeah, it's like we push them all underground. Here's what we do. We swing by Six Flags, have the time of our lives. Yeah. Pop into Friday's.

Yeah. Come home, call it a Tuesday. I like it. I think it's a good idea. Yeah. Maybe review a funnel cake or something while we're there.

Oh. I like the idea of going to Friday's and not reviewing it. Going to San Antonio to go to Fridays. So we ate at Fridays. How was it? Dude, the roller coaster is fucking awesome.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw Bugs Bunny. Or equivalently. We go to Six Flags. We walk in. We get a funnel cake, which is at the entrance, and then we leave. That funnel cake was expensive. Including admission and parking?

Holy shit. I would do that when I lived in Anaheim and I lived down the street from Disneyland and I had like an annual pass. Yeah, just- Would just go in like

the middle of the day and it's like, gonna eat and ride Space Mountain and then go home. And like, didn't have to pay for parking. Yep. Got it validated

at ESPN Zone. It was perfect. Go to Downtown Disney and get on the monorail to get in. That's smart. That's the way to do it. The ESPN zone's gone, though. Well, yeah.

I don't think ESPN is the monolith that it once was. Well, it's underground with Fridays. That's right. And San Antonio. Oh, no. Someone help Adam Schefter. Get him out of ground. Get him out of ground.

He's cemented into the ground. He's part of the street now. Help me. Didn't give me a the ground. He's part of the street now. Help me! Didn't give me a heads up. Why would you do this? I was working late when the cement trucks rolled through. I was waiting for some football news, and now I'm stuck. Tom Brady's coming back.

What's happening with the Bengals? It's okay, guys. I got my ear to the ground on this one. They said they can dig me out, but once they do, my body's going to fall apart like a man run over by a train. I'm pinned. They said I'm pinned to the concrete. Going back to the funnel cake thing. I'm glad you didn't say Whataburger.

No, I would never go back there. Fuck no. There's a theme park in Southern California called Knott's Berry Farm. Oh, yeah. And they are known for inventing the boysenberry. Yep. Boysenberry rules. It does rule.

And every year they have a boysenberry festival. Would love to do the boysenberry festival for this podcast. We should definitely do it. I've been wanting to go forever. What's the name of this park? Knott's Berry Farm. So I've never heard of that in my life until about 90 minutes ago. And now I've heard it twice.

Really? Somebody mentioned it earlier today. Yeah, a friend of mine, Alfredo did. He's on the t-shirt podcast. Oh, okay. I call him Fredo. California. I'm not surprising, but I'm just sitting here going, you gotta be kidding me. That's crazy. You said it about 90 minutes ago and I went, what the fuck just came out of your mouth? Something about

berries? Because you were talking about rollercoaster. A berry farm? Knott's Berry Farm is like every other theme park in like the US. Yeah. Where it's just like, we have rollercoasters and Snoopy if you want Snoopy. Snoopy, you can go to Camp Snoopy. And it just happens to be near

Disneyland and that is its greatest failure. Yeah, it sucks for them because that theme park was way closer to where I grew up, but we would still go to Disneyland. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little bit further, but way better. You can tell the difference. Like, you spend a day at Disneyland, you go to Knott's Berry Farm, the next day you go, I see what we're working on here. They also have Knott in the name. Well, it's K-N-N-O-T-T-E-R-Y-A.

Yeah, I understand that, but still, it's like, let's not go to Knott's. Oh, we just called it Knott's. We called it Knott's Berry Fun. I like when Halloween rolls around and it turns into Knott's Scary Farm. Oh yeah, Knott's Scary Farm. Wow, that's a stretch. Yep. And then Christmas is Knott's Merry Farm.

Alright, that's better. The Boysenberry Festival. It rhymes with berries. The Boysenberry is the best pancake syrup. It's a solid flavor. Yeah. But it sounds like poison.

The Poisonberry. Poisonberry. Wow. I'm not really sure why. Why would you name it Boysenberry? Boysen. It's a bad name, sir.

It's a hybrid of something. I'll show you. Drink the Boysen. Drink it. It's a bad name, sir. It's a hybrid of something, right? I'll show you. Drink the poison. Drink it. It's a guy with a speech impediment trying to poison people. I'm going to poison you. It's a guy trying to poison people, but he's dyslexic, so he thinks the B is a B. He's getting it all mixed up.

This poison is not what- Oh, man, I made this delicious berry. I keep making poison pancakes pancakes and people love them. I don't, like, fuck, I'll buy one more jar. Anyway, Knott's Berry Farm should sponsor us. Yeah, we should try to, we should do that. I feel like you just mentioned that you would

never go there and you'd skip it for Disney. So why would they? I would only go for this festival. Because Boysenberry Festival is like, they do all this food that's like infused with Boysenberry stuff. It's like, oh, you ever had a Boysenberry is awesome. They do all this food that's infused with Boysenberry stuff. It's like, oh, you ever had a Boysenberry churro or a Boysenberry chicken feast?

It seems like the last couple of years they've been getting even more adventurous. They get wacky. Poisonous. Oh, let's get poisonous. This is a great idea. They need to put up signs everywhere that are like the triangles

with the caution signs. Poisonous snake. Yeah, you're entering the poisonous zone. It's a delicious syrupy snake. There's gotta be a wheelbarrow person out there, right? That doesn't know there's a difference between the word poison and poison.

The theming of the park is also really all over the place. There's like a wild west area and then there's like an Aztec section where you they have a ride called montezuma's revenge yeah that's pretty cool like shit your pants that's what that the whole time his kids going like it's crazy that they named it that huh it's fucking insane right i heard of that name the name of the ride before i knew what it oh really oh man always heard it growing up in san San Diego You hear about that and then it was like let's go to this theme park. The fuck did you name this roller coaster? You guys wanna ride shit coaster? Yo, what's up is Snoopy?

Is he just laying on the house? Yeah, yeah on the house. Yeah on the ground smoking a cigarette on the ground smoking a cigarette. Oh, hey, what's up, kids? This is Snoopy. Hey, what's up? It's fucking Snoopy. It's me from Chicago. Do they have caricature picture drawers there, too, or no? Honestly, probably.

It's like, I can draw you a Snoopy face, but only his feet. That's what I mean. You want Amy's feet on your face? I do Snoopy for boys, Amy for girls. I can also do Amy for boys. Oh, man. I never thought about Snoopy in a Rule 34 context, but it's pretty exciting. Woodstock, what are you doing?

What are you shipping with? He's right there. Oh, shit. Woodstock got stuck are you doing? What are you shipping with? He's right there. Woodstock got stuck in the dryer. Help me, help me, Snip Snoopy. Help, Snip Snoopy. Kelly's dying. Help, Snip Snoopy. I'm stuck under the couch.

Oh, now what did you do to Linus' blanket? He's the one with the blanket, right? Linus did that. Oh, man. It was crumpled up when I got here. Fuck. Oh, my God. Oh, shit.

Snoopy's, that's a good idea. That was just that fucking dirty kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Pigpen. Pigpen. It was Pigpen. Well, he's just living up to his name. It wasn just dirty but he had animated dirt yeah there was a part he was like me was a small planet yeah there's a gravitational pull of dirt

dirt revolving around my favorite thing is like the dirt was only animated when he moved oh yeah just standing there he was just a pile of dirt. And then when he starts moving, then it's just going... That's some Magneto stuff. He just starts shaking it up. Yeah, that's how he's kicking it all up. You can see in the first X-Men during the World War II flashback, he's at the gate bending it too.

The little pig pen next to a young Magneto. If you look in the back, there's Snoopy laying down. Yeah. And DK's locked up. Yeah, finally. Donkey Kong's locked up.

We got him. We locked him up. We decided we need to lock him up. Yeah, we've decided we've had enough of Donkey Kong doing whatever he wants all the time. He needs to get locked up. Yeah, we gotta lock up Donkey Kong. He keeps punching those alligators. He's doing everything.

Every which way. I don't even want to go down his hit list we all know it's out there it came from evil it's true he was the bad guy his evil grandfather he was evil and they just kind of let that slide

he's just old now I guess we're not going to lock him up look at what they're still doing with people participating in World War 2 they're still locking him up lock up Cranky Kong while we're at it. 90-year-old guy. Lock him up.

Yeah, lock up Cranky Kong. He's kidnapping women, chucking barrels. Lock that fucker up. I don't care how cranky he is. You don't give a shit. What, you had a bad day? Fuck you. Go to jail.

Pauline's had a bad life. Yeah, no kidding. Jeez. All right, I'm going to read the haiku now. Okay. Oh, wow. All right. Let's do it. I figured we've been fucking around for a while. No, no, no. We, no kidding. Geez. Alright, I'm gonna read the haiku now. Okay. Oh, wow. Alright. Let's do it. I figured we've been fucking around for a while. No, no, no. We were wetting our whistle. Midnight. Best laid plans.

Sea of cars. One employee. No drunk fries tonight. That's, uh, that's an incredibly apt haiku. He referenced that while we were waiting for the food. It was like, Eric wanted to get order for pickup. Holy shit.

Because he was worried about the lunch rush. Yeah, I figured there was a lunch rush. I said, the only time it's busy here is after midnight. That is absolutely true. It gets worse, too. Because Whataburger is 24 hours. 2 a.m. is busier than midnight. Oh, yeah.

It's exponential. Because they're the only place that's open. And fuckers will wait. Everyone. Everyone starts coming out of the woodwork. It's like I've been in like 11 car wait at the drive-thru. Yeah, I've waited like I think an hour before. And you get there and you go, I'm not waiting.

And then I put my car in park. Yeah. You kind of say to yourself, this will move fast. I say to myself, I've already left my house. I'm not going back empty-handed. For me, it's always like after a night out, and it's like, if I don't eat something, I'm going to regret it. So it's like, Whataburger's on the way home. Let's stop and get some fries or something.

Just some carbs. And there's just too many cars and one person working, and it takes forever. So no longer really an option. I've done it a few times that you've, you're basically trading. If I don't eat today, I'm going to regret it for something else. You also know you're going to regret it.

It's just a different level of regret. I feel like shit either way, but this will be less shit. I'm going to regret eating Whataburger, not regret not eating. We'll say the fries are good. I like their onion rings. I always go onion rings

You ever go frings? No what is that? How come nobody knows What frings are? This is Very interesting It's just like a place That has onion rings

And fries Typically has an order Of something called frings Which is just a basket Of half onion rings And half french fries And they call it frings Have you heard about this Kelly?

You got me excited I thought it'd be like An onion ring Shaped like a french fry It's just in like The last week It's like Gust French fring. It's just in like the last week. It's like Gustavo Fring from Fring Bad. In the last week, we brought up frings to so many people and everyone goes like, what's frings?

Eric and I are the only people who knew it. You guys invented it. I don't think we did. No, because we went to Mighty Fine and they have a hat that says frings on it. So if you want a hat, if you want an all-white hat in giant black letters that just says frings, like a fucking lunatic? She got money.

I'm a big Fring head. If you wear a hat that says Fring on it, depending on where you go, I might think it's a slur. You know what I mean? Like if there's a bunch of people storming the Capitol wearing hats that say Frings, I'm just like, what the fuck does that mean? This is either an acronym or a slur

yeah either way i don't find out i i feel a little safer seeing it at a burger restaurant oh okay oh my god oh fringes well uh the the line and and the whataburger during the day very different from the whataburger what was the fiasco what you ordered it was a little bit of a snafu i ordered the food through their website before we came how well how early did you do this like 11 30 okay uh so you gave them plenty of time yeah and well it said to make the best food that's already made it said how long do you want this to is asap or a time so i picked 1205 to 1210 i went we'll probably get there a little bit later. We fine.

We start going and then they're like, well, your food's being prepared. Like you click on like the link from the email. Should be ready at this time. 12.05 to 12.10. And then it's 12.06 to 12.11. What? And then time just keeps getting pushed back. 12.13 to 12.18.

What the fuck are you talking about? We got there about 12.11. Yeah, we got there earlier. We got there and parked like right at 12.10. And so are you talking about? We got there about 1211. Yeah, we got there earlier. We got there and parked right at 1210. And so Eric was talking about it. I was like, we're at the back end of the window. And he just kept saying, he said, well, now it says 1211 at 1216. And I look at your clock and it says 1211.

And then he would go, well, now it says 1212 at 1217. And I look at your clock and it's 1212. And I just kept saying, that's now. Time only moves forward, Eric. It's happening now. Now it's 12-13. They're moving the goalposts because time is moving forward. And so we're just parked in a spot.

It's like a curbside pickup that says, tell us you're here in the app. And I'm just going, Eric, tell them you're here. And he goes, how? How? I can't. And you said, how? How? I can't. I can't. And you said, I didn't order through the app. I went to the website.

And I was like, I don't know that they were prepared for this. And so we just all sat in the car doing nothing. Seven minutes. And George is just going, go tell them you're here. And he's going, how? What do I do? How? Guys, it's going up again.

Yeah. 12, 14. 12, 15. 12-15. And then finally a woman comes out from the restaurant. She's walking towards Jordan's car and she's looking right at Jordan. And there's no cars next to us. There was a woman who came and left and came back. She was really on the fence

whether she was in a way for a food run. Yeah, that was weird. But at this moment, she was not there so there's no other cars. And I'm like, no, she's coming over here. And Eric's like, no, she's not. And the woman is looking directly at Jordan cars and I'm like no she's coming over here and Eric's like no she's not and the woman is looking directly at Jordan and I'm like I think she is and I was like I hope she's coming to talk to him because she's about to come fuck

him up I'm not sure what her intent is guys she's walking to the window no it's not for us don't look at her so she asked for the name we gave her the name we waited three minutes a completely different person came out and she asked for the name. We gave her the name. We waited three minutes. A completely different person came out and said, what's the name?

She said, how many? She said, how many? It was a different person. And you're like, one order for Eric B, please. One Eric B, please. And then as she's walking in, the first woman's walking out and hands us out with the shakes.

And hands us a bunch of shakes. And it's like, so what's going on? And then this is totally fine. And I totally understand. She dropped any pretense of trying to speak English to me. Yeah. She's just like, comida un momento. I was like, yeah, okay.

Like I didn't want to like, I felt, felt patronizing to be like, si, gracias. Yeah. No problemo. Do I speak Spanish back was the immediate dilemma. Yes. And so we just said, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I mean, she also, she spoke in English. She spoke in English the first time she came out. Totally fine. And then she just dropped it. Yeah. And I was just dropped it. Yeah. And I was like, also fine, though. Then moved on. And I sat there thinking, like, did she think we didn't understand English?

I don't know. I was just like, she did great. I mean, she doesn't know I struggle. I do. But even I understood it. Our theory was that she got a look at Eric and was like, this guy's brother. What the fuck? Our theory was that she got a look at Eric and was like, this guy's brother.

What the fuck? I made the joke of like, you know, she saw Jordan and I, the two whitest guys sitting in the front, was like, their English is probably rusty. Let me tell them in Spanish just in case they didn't understand. I'm going, Jordan, hold me. But then she dropped off the shakes, walked in, walked out with our food, and that was it. So I never let them know that I'm there. I don't know what happened to the second employee who came out. But then she dropped off the shakes, walked in, walked out with our food, and that was it. Yeah. So I never let them know that I'm there. I don't know what happened to the second employee who came out.

Yeah, she just disappeared. Yeah. She was gone. She was wearing a different color vest. I don't think one of them worked there. Yeah, I think one person just wanted to see what was up. Yeah, I don't know. How many?

How many what? I don't know. I don't know. You tell me. You tell me. How many you got? It's like having to deal with a cop. Yeah.

Like, what the fuck? Do you know why I pulled you over? Eric B? Yeah, one order. How many? Frings? Frings? How many Eric B's you got in there?

We should learn about the food. Yeah, see, you fucked it up, basically. No. It was a shit show. And he did nothing to fix it. It's true. He's like, I don't know. It wasn't ready.

It says your food is being prepared. And he just kept showing me his phone. Yeah, because he said the food is being prepared. Which was just a website. There was no thing that said, hey, check in. I will say, I was like worried that nothing was going to happen. Right, I was like, we're just sitting here. Yeah, we're just.

We're still sitting here. We're not going to have anything to talk about. Look at my phone. George's like, ah, an uneventful trip to Whataburger. How little did he know? No such thing. Comida. Gracias.

And hey, by the way, how was the backseat, though, without sharing it with that animal? I had plenty of places to put food. No one went, oh. No one asked for ketchup. No one said, oh. There wasn't a single mention of sauces or any weird noises being made. It was actually kind of normal. They also didn't give us any ketchups or anything.

They didn't. But also didn't notice. No, exactly. Which would have been a problem. And then that would have been a whole conversation. Yeah. To try to get. Because he would have been specific.

Talking about what we lost. Yeah. He would have been specific. He would have been like spicy ketchup. And she would have said, what? And he would have said, spicy ketchup. Spicy ketchup. Ketchup de spicy.

And then he'd be like, okay, hold on. Yeah. And it's like, come on, Nick. Jesus. Then she would have walked away and he would have looked at us. Spicy. Ketchup de spicy. And then he'd be like, okay, hold on. And it's like, come on, Nick. Jesus. Then she would have walked away and he would have looked at us and said, can you believe that? It's like dealing with my father-in-law.

Someone would have pummeled him. Anyway, God rest his soul. Whataburger facts. Our previous Whataburger episode was released October 12th, 2021, where we ate the Hatch Green Chili Bacon Burger and Chocolate Mint Shake. Disgusting. It received an average score of 64.

We were on a road trip. If it helps, we didn't get the shake. Yeah. Oh, that's true. That explains why it's a 64. Yep. Because there was no way it would have gone that high. They just gave us four shakes.

And then we were reminiscing about, oh, the person behind us is going to pay. And the woman at Whataburger went, no. Yeah. But she said no. And then, I mean, we've already talked about it. And then shut the window and just kind of walked away. We were left going like, do we not get a second chance? Are we in timeout now?

Is that it? And then she came back and just basically started over. She had not spoken to us. We're going to pretend like this is the first time we're doing this. Try it again, fuckhead. Otherwise, no food. Thank you. Okay, here we go.

Nick is not here for this episode. And when he heard we were going to Whataburger without him, he simply said, traders. End quote. Long live Kelly. Long live Kelly. Long live Kelly. Eric has raised his fist in solidarity with Kelly. Yeah, me and Kelly are in solidarity.

She shrugged big. Which is funny to me because not only was Kelly's response something along the lines of like, Oh, another dairy episode. Yep. Yeah. And Jordan offered her my lactate since I won. Yeah.

It's like, he's not taking it. Which is funny because she brought it and she said, you want a lactate? And I was like, I had Taco Bell last night, so I'm already getting torn up. I was like, I'll take it. And she goes, it is a chewable. And I'm like, okay, whatever. I open it. I go, that's weird. The chewables are round, whatever. And I just chew it and she goes it is a chewable Okay, whatever I open it. I go. That's weird the chewables around whatever and I just chew it now eat it I'm just thinking like there's no way that was

And then and then like a minute later Kelly takes one out goes. Oh, they're not chewable Yeah, I found that out when I was chewing it about 30 seconds tasted great just but just imagine chewing on a tile and all it's just going oh dude even better you guys were out of the room and she goes she's eating the burger and she goes i just i thought you know i'd hope like it's been a while my tastes had changed and i was waiting for like what it was and she's like still not a fan of blue cheese and i go oh that was kind of the big one on this burger and she goes yeah the edges were fine. The place where there was no blue cheese.

So she doesn't like blue cheese. She got a blue cheeseburger. What a fucking waste. One of the one times Kelly gets the food. What a waste. I asked her before we came, like, you want me to get you the Whataburger we're getting? The blue cheeseburger and the shake? She went, wishful thinking.

Sure. I'll try it. I hope I like this. It's no blue cheese and her roommate is comatose from having five banana pudding shakes apparently. I need another one! More! You've had enough. Oh, man. Anyway. In 2012,

a San Antonio-based custom footwear shop that may or may not be underground with Fridays we don't know made a one-of-a-kind pair of Nike Dunk Low Whataburger shoes that featured the Whataburger logo with orange and white stripes because you can make anything streetwear if you tell people you, quote,

cop that fire from StockX, quote, and they have to believe you. I use the sneakers app. Imagine having Whataburger shoes and walking around. Right, man. With the stripes and stuff. The Whataburger orange and white stripe already look like shoes of the time of the Harlem Globe. They look like that's what they would be wearing anyway.

Yes. Yep. We need to do a drop with StockX or the sneakers app with the Face Jam. What shoe company should we partner with? What's the worst one? New Balance. I think we should do,

what's the one where they ruse, where they had like a little zipper pocket. So you could like, if we did a Face Jam rue rue shoe where they have like a zipper pocket in the shoe and you keep a sauce there i think i think whatever whoever we partner with if we do a face jam shoe i think it should have no relevance to the show in any way oh you just want it to be color or anything okay it's just someone wearing a black shoe is that i it? I caught that fire from stock X. I don't know what it is. It's like, bro! There's no branding.

Can we call them air face jams? We'd get in trouble for that. We'll call them air jams. We should call them air Michael Jordans. There we go. That's smart. That's smart. Next. The orange and white stripes of Whataburger became their look when the owner decided he wanted people to be able to see them distinctly while in the sky.

Pretty laughable to think that people who eat at Whataburger regularly can afford to fly on a plane. Maybe frontier, but that's it. That's pushing it. I think Allegiant at best. Oh, yeah. You might be right. I definitely think. And you can only see it when I think Allegiant at best. Oh, yeah. You might be right. I definitely think. And you can only see it when you're an Allegiant aircraft.

I'm more of a divergent. No. Whoa. When your Allegiant aircraft is slowly falling out of the sky due to low maintenance. Yeah, but guess what you'll see in the fog. We're heading right for that orange-white stripe. I can see Whataburger. Yay.

Well, I mean, I think if you fly Allegiant, they only fly at 200 or 300 feet above the ground, so it should be fine. Can't go any higher. No. I don't even really understand the marketing behind that. We want to see it from the sky. From the sky. You should be able to see it from the ground.

But I like the idea of going, look, there's whatever. I can't get it. I can't get it. I got to get out. Ah! Here I come! Yeah, you want to see it at a time where you can stop and give them

your money do you think maybe it was like a future proofing thing maybe he thought that everyone would have flying cars oh he's a fucking idiot yeah that's what I'm I hadn't considered that he was fucking stupid oh by this time we'll be flying everywhere.

All right. And the final fact. In the Carolinas, there is a hamburger restaurant named What-A-Burger. That Whataburger, which is the same name but no dashes, sued about naming rights and lost. So we're kind of getting pissed that we're not called the Michael Jordan podcast right now. No shit.

Think about that. Well, here's the thing. They sued and lost. We were just too scared to do it. Exactly. That's the thing. They sued and lost. We were just too scared to do anything. That's the thing. Legal isn't there to tell us whether or not we can do it. It's like we might get sued, so we're going to cut that off now.

They didn't want to sue and win. They're like, what if we just don't do anything? Nobody breathe. Stop breathing. Don't look. Don't breathe. Hold that shit in until you get on Montezuma's Revenge. Clench that hole and hold it in.

The only place legally you can do it. The only effective legal team is a team that doesn't have to deal with any legalities. Stop making shows! If we're sitting in our chair not looking, blinking, or breathing, everything's going to be fine. You want to call it what? You're welcome. Got a crack legal team here. Oh, man.

But like, what a burger and what a burger. Straight up the same name. Yeah. The only change? Yeah. Punctuation. Yeah. Something to think about.

But here's something to think about. Here's something to think about. Even without the punctuation yeah something to think about but here but here's something punctuation mark right here on this here's something to think about even even without the punctuation or or maybe have the punctuation on paper but not even the verbal pause that straight up is our name yeah yeah this burger joint was more nefarious than we were it's true right they're another burger place presumably selling burgers yep we're a food podcast. We're not even encroaching on basketball player or baseball player. Michael Jordan. And they said no.

This place is like- Minor league baseball players. Hey, you know whataburger? What if we're whataburger? What are we going to sell? How about burgers? Fuck, that's fine with me. Hey, we'll sue you.

We lost? Yeah. What the fuck? We're over here looking like a couple of assholes. The idea that it's the same. You sue and then the judge goes, nah. Excuse me? Well, you guys are Waterburger, right?

I told you it's the cup. Wow, this cup is fucked. I told you. Waterburger's cups are garbage. I'm taking credit for this cup. Wow, this cup is fucked. I told you. Whataburger's cups are garbage. I'm taking credit for this cup. Whataburger's cups are shit. And you know what's worse? The worst type of styrofoam.

It's triple bad for the environment. It is, yeah. It's extra toxic. So it doesn't hold your drink and it's killing us. It's making it hotter. But as large as a historical event as these cups may be, it doesn't matter if I'm dead. Yep.

Think about it. If these cups cause World War III after I'm gone. Hypothetically. Hypothetically, it has no historical significance to me because I'm dead. And that's just how history works. If I'm dead or wasn't there, who cares? Who cares?

Who cares? Who cares? That's why they call it history. Get out of here. We were talking about how bad these cups are before we started the show. Yeah, because mine keeps leaking. Jordan accused me of a drip or a spill. Look, I'm a pro spiller, but I was like, no.

It's all over your leg. Yeah, but it's the cup. I'm not spilling. The cup is attacking. I'm tired of watching you try it. It's getting worse. Oh, my God. It's getting worse.

Throw it away. Shit. You're still connected to headphones. That's why of watching you try it. It's getting worse! It's getting worse! Throw it away. You're still connected to headphones. That's why I haven't run off! It's everywhere. No! Take my cup! I don't want it! Eric, stop spilling! Put that bag down there. Alright, Eric. I had a bag I didn't want to use but he made me use it. Now it dripped on his

side. It's fine. It's stopped smelling like tires in here and it no smell like banana yeah here's the problem with these drips on this chair it don't look like banana somebody came in here and look them some Amy Maybe some Snoopy X Woodstock. Let's some banana drips. Let's some banana drips on the... What the fuck is this? I think that's banana pudding.

I think the banana pudding shake dripped everywhere. Somebody's banana is dripping. This banana's getting pudding everywhere. I thought CK got locked up. What's the... Oh my God. This banana's getting pudding everywhere. I thought he got locked up. Michael's now on the ground cleaning up. Yeah. Well, he's trying to hide the evidence. Right, yeah.

We can't let him know about Snoopy. Michael's sleepy now. Oh, God. I just lost all my energy Hey Jordan, what are we doing? Are we still doing the show? Yeah, Jordan, you want to teach us about the food? I'll teach about the food

I mean, I'll read about the food Right, I'm sure you won't teach us anything I doubt we'll learn anything That's kind of out of your league We'll see if we get lucky Whataburger Bacon Blue Cheese Burger This uniquely craveable burger we'll see we'll see if we get lucky what a burger bacon blue cheese burger this uniquely craveable burger is two fresh 100 beef patties layered with crisp smoky bacon blue cheese

grilled onions american cheese peppercorn ranch sauce and fresh chopped lettuce and tomato slices piled high on a toasted five inch bun yeah Yeah. So that's how they describe their buns. Yeah. Their five inch bun is like their unique thing. The thing that I liked about this is that it lists everything and then says, and fresh chopped lettuce and tomato slices really only need and one time. Yeah. You really don't have to do piled high.

They, it should just be and in between everything, like it's about to end. It's like, it's like they're treating the lettuce and the tomato as one thing. Or like, you know, like peanut butter and jelly,

but not really. No. Also what's peppercorn ranch sauce. That's what was on the, that sauce all over. So like, Oh, it was dripping on the top.

It was like that sauce in the middle was the blue cheese. And on the bottom, there was just another slice of cheese. Yeah. I didn't know there was another slice of cheese. I saw it. That was fucking crazy. I saw it on the billboard. That was nuts. I saw it on the billboard.

Typically, when something is blue cheese, it's not also one other cheese. Oh, Eric, I clocked it. Insane. I clocked it, and I went smart. Fucking crazy. No reason to get rid of cheese. They're just adding cheese. They're speaking my language. You want a cheeseburger? Yeah. You want a cheese cheeseburger?

They should have called it the Bacon Blue Cheese Cheeseburger. Hell yeah. Yes you want a cheese cheese they should have called the bacon blue cheese cheeseburger yes bacon blue cheese cheeseburger should have been the name and then we could rail on that and we figure out it's two cheeses and we go oh they were right yeah yeah for a second for a second when you knew they were two cheeses when you told us what we were eating i thought the bacon was blue and i was like what's blue bacon i'll find out later why is this i don't care uh the banana pudding shake yep this first ever shake is creamy and sweet made using a vanilla shake base you don't have to admit that and the perfect combination of creamy banana pudding flavor that i mean that's it that's you

know what that makes a lot of sense it's not it is not a banana pudding flavor. That, I mean, that's it. You know what? That makes a lot of sense. It is not a banana pudding shake. It is a vanilla shake with banana pudding flavor. Which I think is like all of Whataburger shakes, right? I think that's what they do. It's vanilla based. Yeah.

I think they do that with like the Dr. Pepper one too, right? Unbelievable. I'll tell you what they do with the chocolate mint shake. They just make it chocolate. Yeah, they just make it chocolate and they don't give it to you. You think they had the mint too and someone went, should I put the mint in?

And then someone else went, nobody likes mint! Don't put it in! They really did do us a favor, but... No. No. No, don't put the mint. Presbyterial.

The bold flavors, freshness, and quality of the new Whataburger Bacon Blue Cheese Cheeseburger. I added the second. You did. Are exciting, said Rich Scheffler, Whataburger bacon blue cheese cheeseburger. I added the second. You did. Are exciting, said Rich Scheffler, Whataburger executive vice president and chief marketing officer.

This guy's got two jobs. He can't get enough. Oh, my God. We're thrilled to offer this premium quality burger for a limited time. All right, come on. Premium quality is a bit of a stretch. They're talking about their five-inch buns. And I know we could talk about this in the review.

They have the most stale- looking hamburger buns they those are ever seen it's like if a child were to draw a hamburger bun it just looks like it looks like a cartoon and then you just go this doesn't look like there's any yeah it just looks old it looks it looks old yes it looks unappetizing i do not like their but at least it's more at it's a... I assume it's five inches in diameter? Yeah. I don't know why else they would call it that. What did you think it would be? Five inches in radius? Five inches tall?

It'd be a tall-ass burger. I got my foot-tall burger. What's wrong with that hamburger? I don't know! It looks like Doug Dimmadome. How am I supposed to fucking bite this thing? It's all bun! I'm trying to eat it!

How am I supposed to fucking bite this thing? It's all bun. I'm trying to eat it. The nostalgic flavor of banana pudding is perfectly captured in our newest shake, said Rich Scheffler, Whataburger Executive Vice President and Chief Marketing Officer, because they couldn't find anyone else. With well-balanced flavors in each sip, guests are in for a sweet treat with this fresh take on a comfort food classic. I'm going to immediately attack one thing in here.

Yeah. Okay. That is indisputable. Ain't nobody sipping that. No. Because I was sucking it with gale force winds. We were talking about. And I could not get the goddamn liquid to come out of the cup.

We call it the suck to shake ratio. Yes. Because I was yelling at my cup going, how many sucks do you need? I was like, I must have had a good 12 sucks and I was like, how is there no shake

in my mouth yet? This is absurd. It was insane. The suck rate was through the roof, dude. No shake, anything with a straw, you should be able

to get it in your mouth in a few tries at most. Yeah. Yes. I just gave up. I took the lid off and just started eating it off the straw. And when it's a shake, you're not like if it's a soda, you're just like

a little sip sip. For a shake, you're like you're really sucking. Yeah. And to put all that effort into five of them. I got a little bit light headed. That's why I needed an extra second to start that he didn't get. It's dangerous. Yeah. Michael could have died. I could have passed out oh wow but thinking about jordan looking like an hourglass is what brought me back he's taking like a clock those are two separate ideas right no no no they're back to back to back back to back line i'll tell you i i was uh leaving my

house today and for whatever reason I was too lazy to queue up Spotify. So I put the radio on. That was on the radio? That was on the radio. And the second I heard it, I went, I'm calling Jordan that. And I heard it and immediately locked it in place. Was it just some DJ?

No, it's a song. He said it's Misery. Yeah, it's Misery Business. 2007, where were you? He never meant to brag. DJ? No, it's a song. He said it's a song. It's Misery. It's Misery Business. Paramore. 2007. Where were you? He never meant to brag. I mean, I've heard that part of the song. She meant to brag. She meant to brag. Let's be honest. So! That's the best

part. That's cool. Sometimes she says good. Sometimes she just leaves it up to the imagination. I like the music video because it looks like she gets hit in the face with a guitar. Sometimes she goes down. I watch that part a lot. I'm just like, that's great timing. That looks so cool. She definitely meant to brag. Yeah, she should.

Well, she got her hourglass, got her man for eight months, but she got him back. She got him where she wants him right now. It was never her intention to brag. Yeah. Something to think about. But I did.

Yeah. I think so. There you go. Jordan's looking at his sheet like it's going to offer any information. I've run out of things to say. It was all, that was laser. I have nothing more to say about Paramore's song. What's her name? What's Paramore?

Hayley something? Yeah. I want to say Hayley Steinfeld, but that's an actress. That's a different person. It is Hayley something. Yeah. I feel like Kelly knows and she's just not saying. Kelly does not know. Damn. Oh, my wife doesn't listen to this episode. She's a big person. It is Haley something. Yeah. I feel like Kelly knows and she's just not saying. Kelly does not know.

Damn. Oh, my wife doesn't listen to this episode. She's a big Paramore fan. I'm pretty sure Nick would give a shrug. One of the unhired interns. I don't think that. I feel like that's just. I think it's on the outer edge.

Yeah. Everyone in this room is in the age that we should know, but we don't. In 2007. No, but they could have been like, if if they had an older sibling, they could have been like, I was five when that song came out. I played it on guitar. It's definitely a rock band song. Yeah, but also, I played it on rock band and I don't know her name either. There you go. Who knows?

I feel like Kat would know, maybe. No. Do you think Ariel would know? Dead at the bottom of the stars. Send her an email. You should send her a follow-up and just be like, just want to check in. Yeah, is everything going?

Yeah. Did you ever? Just following up on this email I sent three years ago. Were you able to track anything down? Also, are you okay? You should reply again and go, just wanted to bump this those emails that are like cold calling

that are like so how's your Monday looking they answer like you replied to them or like weeks later it's like okay I get the i get the message those are the worst so thursday at noon how's it looking yeah hop on a call real quick save your life i got one that was a meet a calendar invite and it was like whoa hang on yeah yeah it's like it showed up on my calendar and i went, no, absolutely not. Block. Get away. Get the fuck out of here.

Last time I invite you to a meeting. Thought he'd come. Oh, man. All right, let's review this food. Jordan? To be fair, it wasn't personal, but it was business. Misery business. Misery business.

All right, Jordan, tick like a clock. What do you got? So I, like Kelly, am not a fan of blue cheese. I don't seek it out sometimes it finds me like it did today and you know it had been long enough for me to kind of be like give it a shot

let's see what happens the first bite enough blue cheese enough flavor to be like, there it is. And then as I got more into the middle of the sandwich, oh, brother. There it is. It was, it's all in the middle. It's like the core, the molten core of the Earth's spherical shape.

Michael just waved him off. Don't worry about it. I'm waving him off. Let me keep talking. You got it. I waved at him. That's good. That's unbelievable. He was waiting to attack and he was looking at me. I was waiting to attack! And I'm just like, let him talk. Earth's spherical shape?

Five inches tall, this burger. Just one bun. That's ten inches just from the buns alone. And then you count the shit in the middle. That's a foot tall burger. Easy. Look at it. Fourteen inches. That's how I eat my

Subway sandwich. I eat my Subway. When I get my Subway, I turn it on its side. Like a burger. And then I eat it like a football I get my Subway. I turn it on inside. Like a burger. And then I eat it like a football. It's about to be kicked. I cut it width wise. It's all in the middle.

Anyway, when I got to the middle of the burger, that's when I started looking to the edges as well. And I had had enough at that point. What are burgers? Burgers are already not my favorite. And blue cheese is also not great. Also, this thing's big. It's big. It's a double.

I pulled it out of the bag and it went like clunk. It's one of those. A lot of burger places will, by default, give you the single, but then offer the double, the triple. Cause it's just an extra. I don't think you get a choice with this one. This just straight up is a double. I'm sure. I'm sure.

I'm sure you could say, just give me a single, but it's pretty bold to have a cheeseburger filled with a bunch of shit and bacon and be a double. Yeah. Right. That's, that's kind of crazy.

You think the bacon alone, the bacon, the blue cheese and all that would kind of replace a second meat patty not here i'm about to explode the bacon was neither crisp nor smoky as that's true i don't think i got neither one of those i am a fan of what a burger and their bacon sucks uh i also didn't like the shake very much because it's just artificial banana flavor. It's a vanilla shake that tastes like the banana flavored Laffy Taffy Wonka candy. So not a fan of that as well.

Got it. Sounds like you loved it. Yeah. I was surprised that 64 was what the last Whataburger episode got. So definitely need to avoid going that high on this one. Just to make sure that it can't recover. No.

Wow. I'm giving it a 33. Wow. Okay. I was about to go plus 100. Yeah. I'd like to give my vote plus ultra. Would you give it a 33?

what do you think about the shake that dripped all over you? I actually kind of enjoyed it I'm always hesitant about flavors instead of like artificial flavoring I think the only reason it worked is because it was off the vanilla base that would have been disgusting if it was pure artificial banana flavor. I think

that's probably why I didn't mind it is because it was a vanilla shake with a couple of drips of banana. When I think of banana pudding, I think about the one you can get at like Rudy's. Yeah, to me that wasn't banana pudding in any way. No, it was a banana shake. That was banana. The pudding was a lie. My expectations and what I got

were vastly different. The guy said with well-balanced flavors in each sip. It was the same flavor the whole fucking time. Yeah, that you couldn't sip. No. And I had to suck my brains out. Well-balanced. He almost went inside out.

I had to treat that fucking straw like it was feet with stink Because I've never sucked harder To get what I wanted out of it Okay But I was actually I actually kind of enjoyed the shake On the flip I like Whataburger It's not my favorite but I like it

I love Blue cheese love it Now the other day when I had this burger for the first time, I immediately clocked that there was an extra slice of cheese. As I pulled up to the drive-thru, I went, what do we have here? In Michael's defense, we didn't know we were eating this until yesterday. Yes, I did eat it before we decided it, but I will also, in not my defense, pulled up and said,

oh, I bet we haven't heard about this no way we're not gonna eat this the next day after eating it eric was like hey have you seen this and i texted eric guess what i ate yesterday um but as i pulled up and i i scoured it very carefully i examined the sign through my window and i was like oh my god is that did they keep on the american cheese you bold bastards is this a double not even an option i i sorted it all out before i'd ever ordered it um i enjoyed it i love blue cheese i appreciate that it was actually blue cheese and not sometimes they'll put like the blue cheese dressing 100 insanity yeah it's different these ones dressing old chunky ones. But it's a

funky cheese. You're gonna like it or not like it. It's funky and when you get to that center of the spherical earth core, I hope you like it. When I get to the spherical earth center, I go, and I imagine I can feel the person who doesn't

like the blue cheese. Right. It's the exact opposite of that. No one goes, no one goes, it's all right. I got there. It's just not how it works. I could take another bite. I don't want to take it from here.

So I turned it, I turned it to the edge and took one more bite. Not everyone can handle it. The blue cheese can be stinky like feet and have stink lines coming out feet side. Right. Yeah. You really got to, you really got to be an expert.

Yeah. But I really liked it. I think for me, especially with the shake, having gotten it, I feel like it's over a 64 for me. But it wasn't spectacular. But if you like Whataburger anyway, you'll probably like this burger.

I don't think you need the bacon, though, honestly. The bacon sucks. I feel like they throw the bacon on there. Bacon and blue cheese. I think bacon and blue cheese are like, that's like the combo for blue cheese. It's like, we put bacon on it also. I'm gonna hit it with, oh, I don't know.

77. It's an average score of 55. Woof. Sorry. I mean, it's below 64. I got what I wanted. No complaints here. I'm with you. I mean, it's below 64. I got what I wanted. Yeah. No complaints here. I'm with you. I fucking love blue cheese. And so when I got to the molten core of the spherical earth,

it was, I couldn't fucking gobble it up fast enough. Yeah, that's the best part of the burger is the blue cheese. For sure. It's better than the beef patty. The two of them they put in. The way it's structured is so weird where like the cheese on the bottom bun. It's just all over the place, man. And then like the sauce

on the top but then the blue cheese in the middle is like so interesting. What I didn't know was on there because I did not dissect it when I ate it

the other day. I just ate it. I had no idea that ranch sauce was on there. Yeah. I saw it dripping out of my burger did not taste it.

I only knew it was there because I took my tomatoes off and I was like what the fuck is all this shit? And I had no idea what it was. And then he explained it. Did one taste better than the other from, I assume you got it from a different Whataburger

the first time you got it? I think this one was probably better. Interesting. It was a different Whataburger, yeah. I don't know for what reasons. I would say the freshness to eat time was about the same. There wasn't a huge difference there. I was surprised that this was warm just because of the fiasco we were getting there.

Apparently, you'd been sitting. Right. Or not. Yeah. At first, I'm like, they didn't make it. They didn't make it. They didn't make it. Then they turned around and went, oh, here it is.

Yeah, it's been here. And I thought, oh, it's ice cold. But yeah, it was surprisingly warm. It's a decent burger, though. We can move on to what would typically be a snack attack we have a snack for a snack attack but I have a special thing another Tony's treat

from Tony himself I love the packaging here your favorites Ritz Cracker and Oreo in one. I prefer them separate though. Well, you're about to try it together. Oh my god.

It didn't make it. The packaging is wonderful. Yes. It reminds me of the edge. It's a very split theme package. One side red, one side blue. Red versus blue. It gives me a very split-themed package. One side red, one side blue. Red versus blue. It gives me a very Apple-like presentation.

It is. Very clean. They definitely wasted a lot of money on the packaging. Yeah. One more thing, and then it's this. The problem with this is the outside looks great. Right. And then the inside.

I'm going to take a picture. What's crazy to me is that they've packaged it in the box, in. Right. And then... The inside... I'm gonna take a picture. What's crazy to me is that they've packaged it in the box, in a wrapper, in a plastic container that's specifically molded to fit the little cookie sandwiches

they've concocted. There are crumbs everywhere. And they're just a fucking mess. They've broken into a bajillion pieces. So, as Jordan said... I'll walk over. Well, hang on. I just want to see it.

Okay. It is in a plastic container. When Eric Jordan said, I'll walk over. Well, hang on. I just want to see it. Okay. It is in a plastic container. When Eric opened it, crumbs fucking flew everywhere. Like just the hinge of it popping. It just, it was like. I hope it's crumbs and not like asbestos.

It was like shake drip all over again. Oh no. I hope nobody was looking at pictures of Amy when they were packaging this. Shooting blanks. So this is,

it's half, okay. It is not nearly as appealing as the box. No, not at all. So this is half, okay, it is not nearly as appealing as the box. No, not at all. See, in my head, the box was like, they were just separate. Like, have a Ritz, have an Oreo. Have a Ritz, have an Oreo. This is like, it's more Oreo than Ritz. It is. They just

replaced one of the cookies with a Ritz. Well, it's supposed to be a Ritz cracker with peanut butter and an Oreo with its creme. It looks disgusting. Yeah. It's just mushed. The Oreos have remained. The crackers are all the shit.

Well, the difference in structural integrity between the two. What, you think they would have figured this out before the merger? Right, before they mashed them together. Also, I don't see any peanut butter. This is 100% Oreo cream. What the fuck? It's not, Jordan. It's in there.

Peanut butter's in there, buddy. This is awful. It's just so stupid. This is very dumb. This is the dumbest thing we've ever eaten. Why'd they make this? So it's one Oreo cookie with cream and one Ritz cracker with peanut butter combined. It's Oreo chocolate flavor

and then peanut butter at the end with the weirdest texture of the firm cookie and the crumbly ass cracker. None of it works. I don't think adding peanut butter has somehow made an Oreo

cookie sweeter because it's sweet. But for some reason it's so sweet to me. Maybe it's just after I ate that fucking three and a half pounds of cheeseburger. But like, holy shit, it's sweet. Yeah,

it's very sweet. This sucks. Yeah, no, this is, these are two things that I don't, I don't flock towards anyway, but I'm fine eating on their own.

Yeah. I would never eat this. Don't, they didn't need to be combined. I would just eat a Ritz cracker with nothing on it before any of this. No peanut butter. I would just eat a cracker. Fuck.

Give me a saltine. What's Dr. Ian Malcolm say? Just because they could doesn't mean they should. I think what he's been saying recently for Jurassic Park is cha-ching. Yeah. I believe I'm rich. That's gold bloom. Sign it.

Sign it there. So what's your score for this monstrosity? I mean, like, they pulled it off. I wish to give them credit. It didn't look like fucking shit. It still tastes bad, but the cracker just can't that package that packaging was awesome that's a 95 yeah right that package that package is some fucking fire you know x stock x it is well that's tony's thing tony is all in on like these treats and stuff he gets like the shit you've never even heard of

wow so and then he bestows yeah keep this one hidden exactly back to the earth score all right what's your score jordan five wow all right that's excessive it's so bad 25 okay okay uh that that's a 15 kelly what do you think thumbs up thumbs down thumbs down yeah kelly says thumbs down and then phatic thumbs down uh so we'll get to a regular snack here from john B. Will you make another one? Love the show. Love these candies. Love y'all. Love, love, love.

These are some of my favorite snacks. I hope you like them too. I'm going to Ben's Chugs tonight. Oh, no. I already had the double. I'm eating these fucking candies. This is crazy. And I'm going early.

These are Sunny Seeds chocolate-covered sunflower seeds. Oh. Yeah. So that's why these are so small. Just have one, Michael. It'll be fine. Are they different flavors? Because they're all different colors. No, it looks like they're just chocolate. So it's like M&M's where they just try to trick you. Yeah. I never

would have thought to do this to a sunflower seed. I've never had the urge. Similarly. What an insane. What an insane flavor. What is this? What? Why? Why? Why do they do this? What am I eating? I would say that this is a worse idea than the Oreo and the Ritz.

This is insane. This is a worse idea than the other thing. John, why do you like these? Chocolate-covered sunflower seeds. I mean, I'm going to be honest. The sunflower is almost entirely lost. No, I disagree. All I taste is sunflower seeds. It's nothing but sunflower seeds.

I don't taste chocolate at all. Which is not a combination you want with chocolate. Really? All I get is chocolate. No, it tastes like... Have another one. I got only chocolate. I'm dumbfounded.

Dude, it tastes like playing right field. I used to eat sunflower so much as a kid. Oh, my God. Spit them everywhere. Just like dome a handful. The chocolate as a kid. Oh, my God. Spit them everywhere. Like, just, like, dome a handful. Like, the chocolate is there at the end. Yeah. But, man.

It's not a combination you want. That's the weirdest flavor combination I think I've ever had. Just eat sunflower seeds. Yeah, that's really just eat sunflower seeds. John, crazy. Well, I did say that this was somehow a worse idea. So, I've kind of backed myself into a corner here as far as the score goes. I'm okay with it.

Really? Wow. I would never eat this. No. No. All right. I have to give it a four, I guess. I don't.

This flavor is like giving me a headache. I mean, you can't spit these. Don't like it. It's messy. No, no, you can't. It's messy with my mind. You can't spit these. You got to eat them.

Yeah. So if you're wanting to spit your seeds. Mm-hmm. And it's like that shitty shelled candy coated chocolate too. Low quality. I'm gonna give it maybe an 82.

82. 82 and a half. That's a summer treat that will beat the heat. 43.25. Perfect. I guess. Truly an insane score. Those are weird things.

Thanks, John B., for some real gonzo stuff. Appreciate you. Make sure you tell everyone about the stream we're doing tomorrow. Hey, you can send us. Send snacks. You can send your snacks to FaceGFCare of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street, you can send us send snacks. You can send your snacks

to Face Jam care of Eric Bedore, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 7723. You're Eric B? Yeah. Follow at Face Jam Pod to stay up to date

with everything. You can go to store.roosterteeth.com for all your Face Jam needs. I'm not going to talk about the stream. The switch fork is out and if you didn't get it,

I'm sorry. I would think that it's likely sold out. If you can still get one, something went wrong. If it's not sold out, we're in trouble. I'll just tell you that. Eric got a talking to.

Yep. Tut, tut. But that's over here, right? Tomorrow? Yep. I could have asked later, but it was at the top of my mind. Who cares? Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food.

Thank you for listening. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.