100% Eat - Whataburger BBQ Bacon Burger & Dr Pepper Shake

Episode Date: April 14, 2020

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Whataburger BBQ Bacon Burger & Dr Pepper Shakes so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about new merch, Surp-Sides, and more. Sponsored by DoorDash. Download the DoorDash app and use code FACEJAM for $5 off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's filtering Nick it's filtering out Well, that's as good as we're gonna get welcome to face jam the show where we try every new fast food creation to let You know if you need it you probably do thanks to door dash for making making this show per shabu. I'm your host alongside my Cost Jordan swears Jordan. How are you? You're coming in a little muffled. I I'm your host, BurgerJune, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? You're coming in a little muffled. You said coerced?

Yeah, I botched it a little bit, so I leaned into it. It was an early botch, so I thought I'd play off of that by doing it again on purpose, and maybe I'd trick people into thinking that I messed the first one up on purpose. Gotcha. But you've outed me. Well, you tricked me. Yeah, well, you're getting tricked today. Yeah.

Nick also threw me off by butchering the intro. Did he accidentally pause it? What happened? No, I think he just had some kind of weird, like, audio equipment that was, like, clearly that screeching shouldn't be transmitted through the microphone when it should have been. So this is our first Shelter in Place episode, so we're all recording from home.

And Nick attempted to foolishly, for some reason, play the intro through his microphone, which was extremely amateur. Yeah, I don't know whose idea that was. It was bad. I don't know why we have him. I thought he was like some sort of engineer. He went, I have an idea.

This will work great. Let me just do this. Didn't work at all. So now I'm all mixed up. He didn't even need us to sync our own audio. He did. That was a whole other mess. I don't want to get into it.

I'm already upset. Today we're eating the Whataburger barbecue bacon burger and Dr. Pepper shake format. Or as they like to call it on my sticker when I ordered it, I love this, they called it the BBQBB. My sticker said that, and I went, oh, I like that. The barbecue baby. Daddy likes. Might have got a couple extra points for me.

Nick, you're too far from your microphone. I can't hear you laughing, and I need to know that everything we're saying is funny. A little closer, please. We need validation. I appreciate the effort, but it's not good enough. How are we doing so far? This is going to be so weird. How are we doing so far?

Does it feel and sound like we're in four different spots, Eric? Is this working? No, it's fine. It's like we're all in one room, Eric? Is this working? No, it's fine. It's like we're all in one room together eating a hamburger. Yeah, it's a cheeseburger. Stop saying hamburger. Eric and I drove to the Whataburger together separately in our cars. I drove by Jordan's house.

I saw he was already waiting for me outside. I pointed at him, and then we just drove over there. We just rolled. And that was it. So we waited at a stoplight together. Oh, that's there. We just rolled. And that was it. So we waited a stoplight together. That's cool. Got our food. He got his before mine and left me.

Yeah, I was going to wait around. Did you peel out? Yeah, yeah. Did you do donuts in the Whataburger parking lot? Yeah. That would be awesome. Now, please don't answer me. Just shake your head yes or no.

Didn't Nick get the food? Oh, he did. Okay. I'm glad. That's right. i got a picture of him with the sauce what was i thinking as far as i can tell from what i've seen he's he has the shake and he has sauce i haven't seen anything else that might have been all he ordered was there more than that he's showing us trash he He's holding an empty wrapper. Somehow that proves anything to us. Like it's proof. Like, hey, look at this garbage. Oh, okay, cool.

Oh, man. Hey, we're making do, folks. We're trying. We're getting by. We had. We're trying to be the light in the darkness. There were a lot of concerns. I can't speak today.

There were concerns and there were concerns. I'm squirming with concerns. You're squirming today. I'm squirming, man. I'm like a squirmy wormy. People were screaming in the dark. Please, we need the light of Face Jam. Please tell me you guys are, you know,

blind us with your just holy light, I believe was a direct quote from someone. I don't have their name up right now. They definitely said it, though. And here we are. You know, we are trying to answer the Jammer's call to continue. And it may not be the standard, but gosh darn it, we're doing it. Whether they want it or not. Don't say it can't be done.

Don't say it can't be done, damn it. I just think that whether they want it or not, we're making it. Absolutely. It would just be easier for everyone if you accepted that you want it. Exactly. Done. And that's it. Just lie there and accept the face jam.

I'm glad you said face jam at the end of that. We'll cut that part, it. Exactly. Done. And that's it. Just lie there and accept the face jam. I'm glad you said face jam at the end of that. We'll cut that part, but all right. That stays in and Jordan goes on a list. I think we'll put in... There we go, Nick.

Perfect distance. Yeah, that was good. Now I know that it was funny. Now I know the audience is laughing too. Oh, man. Hey, can we take... Before we get into

the food and everything, can we take a second and talk about the shirt that went on sale and sold out before it was supposed to go on sale? Jordan had a good quote for this segment. Do you remember what it was? Yeah. This segment is called 100% Oops. That's correct.

That pretty much sums up how the shirt went. Somebody did an oops. Someone. Not us. it's somebody in the somewhere i don't even want to call them the face jam e-com team because it was someone above that no it was some somewhere you know amongst the thousands someone pushed the shirt live early is what happened so the somebody probably like leaned back in the control room and hit the launch face jam shirt button i think what happened was somebody really wanted it and they were like i can't buy it until it goes live so i'm just gonna make it live so the 100% eat shirt we announced in the last episode uh hey it's out now go get it it sold out hours before the episode

came out turns out you never had a chance if You didn't have a chance. You got got. So the number of people that were waiting, the alarms were set, plans were made to get this shirt as soon as it came out. Got released early. That's, you know, I say our bad, the collective our. Wasn't our fault. Specifically me.

The three and a half people in this podcast had nothing to do with it. Yeah. Don't laugh, and eric's fault oh yeah three and a half i thought i was being generous it's like a two and a half men kind of a thing right but he's not a boy which one of us is charlie sheen um oh i think that's eric that's eric um that was obvious so uh update on the shirts it's getting restocked getting more stocked if you want that 100 each shirt you're 100 gonna have another opportunity the date we have is april 31st that's when it's coming out now i implore you if you want up to the minute news on this shirt follow at Face Jam Pod because there's no other way for us to tell you about it. A lot of people said, hey, I don't use Twitter a lot.

You should have posted this somewhere else. Where? Where else would you like us to tell you about this? We have a show that comes out every two weeks and we have a Twitter account. If you want the shirt, follow the Twitter. I implore you. We were trying to get Nick to drive to people's houses and knock on doors and let them know. But then the government was like, no, you can't do that.

You have to stay home. Yeah, you have to stay home now. Michael, you did a really good job explaining all that. But I do want to go back for a second and ask, what date did you say it was available? April 31st. Yeah, that'll be the 100% each shirt. Correct. I just want to be clear.

April 31st. Correct. Right. That is the date. It's I just want to be clear. April 31st. Correct. Right. That is the, that is a, it's a real date on the calendar. Well, yeah.

Right. I'm going to say yes until it changes, but yeah, absolutely. And it might, and it wasn't us that did it. If it does, I just want to,

I just want to be clear that it's the 31st day of April. Yep. Cause there are 31 days in this month. Are there no, there's only 30. Well, here's the thing. No, you're right. You're right. That's what they kept saying though. Yep. Because there are 31 days in this month. Are there not? There's only 30. Well, here's the thing. No, you're right. That's what they kept saying, though, right? Wasn't that the date we were given?

Am I wrong? Maybe they just said end of the month, and I assumed it. I think they told us around the middle of Smarch, they're going to have another... I was on to Jordan when he brought it up for the fifth time. But in my head, I was convinced they said when he brought it up for the fifth time but in my head I was convinced they said 31st

me too I'm pretty sure they did for all I know it's March 38th right now that really seems like it's not coming out but okay so let's just say the end of April let's say 30th if that's a day is that a day? is the 30th a day?

I think there are at least 30 days in April I didn't do the count on my knuckles thing if you want more information I was going to say 30th. Is that a day? Is the 30th a day? I think there are at least 30 days in April. Oh, shit. I didn't do the count on my knuckles thing. If you want more information, follow at FaceJamPod on Twitter. It's an evolving situation. Sometimes days change. Sometimes they're literally added. I don't know.

Maybe in two weeks, there'll be a 31st of April. There might be. We don't have this authority. We put an extra day in February. Why not? We put an extra goddamn day. Okay? We had three FaceJams in March. That doesn't usually happen. We put an extra day in February. We put an extra goddamn day. Okay? We had three face jams in March.

That doesn't usually happen. Why not add a day in April? Who knows? Moving on. Let's guess the 30th. Let's guess the 30th. Let's assume Jordan's right and there's not 31 days in April. 30th.

Big stretch, I know. Or it'll change and we'll let you know on Twitter. Don't come hollering. Like, the thing was, people had to get there to holler they go I'm mad I don't use Twitter and I and I thought but you're using Twitter now yeah if you've done this now you would have had the shirt just turn on notifications for Face Jam or whatever anyway it's just like it's just like you have like news alerts or whatever Face Jam news no one cares about this We've gone on too long about the shirt. This is a seven minute ad no one cares about.

Let's tell them about the other shirts. Yeah. What? Other shirts? Whoa. That's all of them right now. Yeah. I'm the audience surrogate in this situation.

I'm putting myself in their shoes and they're like, whoa. You know that shirt that you want that you can't get? Guess what? Here's another shirt you can get. Probably sooner. Sooner. It's out right now, Jordan. And I'm told that can't be a lie because it's print to order.

So they only make one when you order it. So you can't sell out unless you buy all the materials in the factory, which I don't know if that's possible. If it does, don't look at me. I don't work at the factory. I don't make the shirt, okay? But we've got two shirts coming out. One's a black shirt with white impact font that says, Listen to Face Jam.

The other one, this is a game changer, is a white shirt with black impact font that says, Listen to Face the other one this is a game changer is a white shirt with black impact font that says listen to face jam the choice is yours because it's print to order yin and yang it's yin and yang we figured you know mix it up go crazy shoot for the stars you know the design team really came together with putting this phrase on a shirt and it's available to you if you want it if you don't that no one cares don't buy it my feedback to Eric was it should be plain yeah and we nailed

it and then I sent it to design and then they made it plainer and the first yeah the first one wasn't plain enough yeah plainer please um and then the final the final note we don't have a date for this yet but it should be coming out sometime after April 31st. Relatively soon.

I'm not exactly sure when. We got the Face Jam 100% Eat hat. Trucker hat. It's a nice looking hat. I've seen it. It's a badass looking hat. It's the theme of the show. So it's an orange hat, and then it's got the mesh net on the back, and the net is white. It's an orange hat. It's got the white 100% Eat logo on the top of the show. So it's got, it's an orange hat. And then it's got like the mesh net on the back.

And the net is white. It's orange hat. Got the white 100% Eat logo on the top of the hat. Like not the very top, you know, but like the front. The part above the bill. And then white mesh. It looks nice. Like the front.

But if you think, man, how'd they print that so small on the front brim of the hat? It's not on the brim. It's on the top front. That is the most front part of the hat. So I get where Michael is coming from. You wouldn't be able to read it. Yeah, you know how you've seen every hat in the history of hats and how there's been a logo on the front as you acknowledge the front?

That's where the logo is. Right. The top front. We can't assume everyone is familiar with hats and how they work, okay? No, that turns people off. Someone goes, I don't know about hats. They're talking about hats. I don't know what the hell to be fair especially with this audience like with their age they've seen hats evolve for so long they used to be like you know

like the demographic to have to wear hats all the time and then jfk came around and stopped wearing hats and then a lot of people that are listening what they used to wear as hats were actually periwigs. Oh. Those were hats to them. That makes sense. See? So this is different. This is a hat. Yeah.

You're not like a judge or a lawyer in the UK. This is a hat you wear on your head. Correct. And it protects you from the sun. Right. Your son might be a judge or a lawyer in the UK. You would have had to retire by this point. Yeah.

So you can ask him what a hat is. But I'm just saying this hot new bold style face jam shirt, perfect for the face jam challenge. Oh, yeah. You don't even have to do anything. You don't even have to say it. Just wear it. And your shirt screams for you at the top of its lungs,

deafening. Listen to face jam. Yep. You'll walk into the room and people will be like, ah. Yeah, turn it down. And then they look up and go huh no one's saying anything eric started reeling and it made me laugh no one's saying anything someone goes i could have sworn not that to be fair like our demographic probably hear shit in their head a lot that's right yeah that's true voices of loves forgotten

friends for long ago it's 12 minutes we get back to the show can we there's god we can we can we invent a new function where we push a button and you skip that ad people are gonna be hitting 30 seconds going it's still going usually we put that at the end and i thought let's just do it real quick at the beginning it wasn't quick at all it was a quarter of the episode what about this show is quick nah you're right final thing i'll say about this is i really appreciate the face jam ecom team coming together you know kind of making up for, for the, the 100% oops.

And we're like, Hey, we're going to have new stuff like to make up for it. I will say this is 100% silver lining. Most of this stuff. And, and you know, it sucks for people that were waiting to get the shirt and they didn't get

the shirt, but because the shirt sold out so quick and people were so like, damn it, I wanted to buy it. They came back and they were like, we can make a bunch more shit like that. Like all this other shit wouldn't be coming out if the people that did buy the shirt didn't buy the shirt in two seconds so now we've got like another two uh color styles of shirts

coming out we got a hat coming out oh pop socket and there's a pop socket i wouldn't even bring it up because i don't know dates but you know the little things you put on the back of your phone eric's gonna show it you can't see it because there's no video there it is showing it um those are coming out too so we're like dude the jam brand is blowing up whoa jam brand that's jam brand okay so shout out to you jammers this wouldn't have happened uh without you now food whataburger we went to water burger yeah a lot of people in texas call it water burger that's just how it sounds i think like they're they're really like i mean it's beating it up they're just like water burger no one in texas speeds anything up water burger water burger it's like what a burger is the name yeah people not from texas ask why it's called

water water burger water burger that's just it's it's very unappetizing yeah what's what's your experience with water burger jordan so yeah i when i first moved to texas i think when i was first visiting i went to a water burger and uh tried tried the water burger the namesake the number one and was uh not impressed oh i felt like it's a very uh local bias you know like a nostalgia factor. Kind of like me and Eric being from the West Coast, like loving In-N-Out. When we acknowledge that like it's not the best burger in the world, we just have sentimental ties to it because we grew up eating it. And I feel like Whataburger is very much the same in Texas.

the same in texas well um having said that it is my go-to trash food oh uh on after a late night out drinking i will stop at a water burger and so will everyone else in this goddamn city and it takes 45 minutes uh to get food at a water burger at 1 a.m but their fries and a good old like chicken strip barbecue sandwich that's pretty nice i won't lie um haven't done that in a while teller but um other than that i don't go there for lunch or anything it's it's purely like an occasional special occasion thing i have a similar uh at least interaction with what a burger as you being from the east coast opposite coast than the coast that you just talked about like way far away yeah i'm like the other side i'm trying to explain it people might think we're from the same coast at home you know what i mean like it'd get it'd be a long time to get from one end to the other um never had whataburger

i love whataburger love it it's like my favorite fast food chain here it's up there with the dons which i've i've i've recently been calling uh dontonimo bay this is what i've been calling mcdonald's that's my new name for it i go uh you got anything from dontonimo i'm like what the hell is that i go mcdonald's duh oh it's mcdonald. What are you, a dumbass? So I love Whataburger. I think it's great. I go there fairly often, but maybe it's just the one near me.

The wait is atrocious. They are like the slowest fast food place. They're all slow, I think. Out there. It's slow as shit. It's ridiculous. And if you want to just really throw throw your car into park pull up into the second lane because it's you'll never get your food yeah so in in what most water burgers they have lane a and lane b and lane a is like a normal drive-through you know you get out the window but

lane b you're on the outside so someone comes out to your car with like an ipad basically you know runs your card goes back in and then they bring the food out to you this is like an iPad, basically, you know, runs your card, goes back in, and then they bring the food out to you. This is not fast at all. It's absolutely slower than lane A. My rule of thumb is like, unless there's three more cars in lane A, I'll always go into lane A, even though it's a longer line. It's like a three to one ratio. Like every three cars in A, you get one in B. Wow. That's crazy. Whataburger is also a place that this stands out the most to me where

you'll get your fucking food before the god damn guy in front of you and then you're stuck you're stuck in the drive through where I'm like

how did I get my food first I'm trapped I can't leave and especially because they've got the lane B if you're in like lane A

you can't pull out you can't like go to the right and get around so I've been trapped screaming for my life If you're in lane A, you can't pull out. You can't go to the right and get around. So I've been trapped, screaming for my life. In a drive-thru or whatever. I just go, help, help, help.

Sir, what's wrong? Today, when I went to get this burger, that happened to the woman in front of me. Really? I was before the window, like the get your food window. She was at the window, and then there was a car in front of her that was before the window, like the get your food window. She was at the window. And then there was a car in front of her that was like the, hey, your order is going to take too long. Can you pull up to the line in front of you? But that guy clearly didn't pull up to the line.

He drove up like a couple feet. So the woman in front of me got the food. And then she was trapped. And I'm sitting there thinking, just beep your fucking horn and get the guy in front of you to move. Like they're going to walk out of the store and hand him his food. It's not like he's at a window. She didn't want to beep. I knew to brace myself when I saw her lights go on,

and I thought, okay, but she didn't move. And I'm like, I think that's a signal for me to back up, but there's a car right behind me. I can't move. So I just sat there, stone-faced, waiting for this woman to hit my car, trying to get out of the water burger. And she Austin Powers-ed it for this woman to hit my car trying to get out of what a burger and she austin powers did for like 45 seconds because she had inches of space and she just go back front back front back front this entire time the guy in front of her did not move like he must have

he must have watched this happen and went i mean could be i couldn't i couldn't see around so probably was just sitting on his phone finally she away, and as soon as she pulled out and was to the right of the car that was in front of her, that car drove away. I knew it. I knew that was going to happen. I went, I pulled right up, got my food, and left. Well, that's not true. I pulled up, got my food, pulled around, parked in the parking lot, put on my 100% Eat shirt

as a mask, and then took a picture in front of the Whataburger. Then I drove away. And there were people looking oh yeah you don't say they were looking dude it's like they're looking at that shirt where can i get one i mean and i said you can't put them on sale early just listen to the first 10 minutes of the next episode we'll tell you all about it. It'll all be explained. And the other thing, one final thing about Whataburger, the fries are fine.

They're good fries. They're nothing stellar. Their fucking onion rings are banging. I always get their onion rings because they have them. Not many places have onion rings and they have stellar onion rings. They are the better fast food option onion rings. They're good.

Some are just like some are shit just wet noodles inside of a deep fried husk yeah these are actually like crispy and you can bite into the onion i get them every time yeah they very rarely survive the drive home for me and that's that's just that since you were talking about your experience a little bit, I wanted to get into what it was like at the one we went to. So I was following Eric, and we pull in, and there's just people out taking orders. There's nobody manning the drive-through speaker. One guy, this one car who was in front of us eric i think was really confused oh he was oh

yeah he pulled up he was a listener did he have face jam shirt yeah almost went up to the online he said i couldn't buy it online i don't know what that means but i couldn't do it um he yeah he almost went into like the online order section and then backed up and then eric was just like giving him space like i don't know what the fuck this old man's doing and then eventually like got up and ordered and stuff um eric leapfrogged that guy because the the person taking orders in front of him opened up sure and uh he was in lane a waiting and eric was in lane b which was probably fine in this scenario. Like, it's a fucking war zone.

So I don't think, like, you're actually going slower. But he decided he wanted to be in lane B. So he starts backing up without seeing me behind him. And I was just like, got to give this guy room and backed up and, like, just gave him all the room I could. And then he went over to lane b behind eric i mean he wasn't supposed to be in lane b while you were ordering i went alongside of him i pulled up into b his windows were down my window was down and i could he looked at me and i was ahead of him in the other lane. And he was upset that I was ahead of him after ordering after him. And started looking over to the people that he ordered from who are taking other people's orders.

And he just starts yelling, am I supposed to be in lane B? Oh my god. Should I be in lane B? I'm gonna be in lane B! He's just screaming nobody acknowledged him he didn't look at me what the fuck was I gonna do if he did

but he just decided I'm being lane B so he just got in lane B yep bedlam bedlam the best part of this like it just all felt very like chaotic haphazard. Yeah.

Chaotic. And like people coming out and I was, I, Eric and I were texting and I was like, I'm, I'm starting to wonder how are they going to know who ordered what they're just coming out with food. And then we saw right after I sent that text,

it was somebody comes out and goes up to a car with a bag of food and just like holds it up to the window. And like the person said no yeah and then handed it to that car their method was just hey did you get this one no okay and then go to the next car and go hey did you get this one and then they go yes i. And here's the problem with that method too. Beyond that chaos, some dumb ass is going to say yes. Absolutely. And take the food that's not theirs because they're stupid too. Here's what I thought happened too because Eric and I ordered pretty much the same thing.

I don't know what syrup sides you got. But we got the shake and we got the burger yep at least so eric got his food first and took off um left you there yeah what the fuck was i gonna do wait around yeah okay together have fun driving back together bye wait i thought we'd spend some quality time together i don't know um so he leaves and then lady comes out she's got a bag of food goes up to the car in front of me holds it up comes over to me that didn't take uh rolled out my window and she's like did you order a water burger with jalapeno and a diet dr pepper or something and i said no and then she just goes oh my god and like moves on to the next car so then she she finds probably three cars back whoever the fuck ordered that and she comes back

to me and so goes what did you order and i told her the barbecue bacon cheeseburger and the dr pepper shake the bbq bb i didn't know to call it that but yeah yeah, if I, if I use the lingo, she would have known. Um, she makes a face like a grimace face, like the grimace emoji. And she's like, Oh, and I'm thinking she thinks, yep.

Like she thinks Eric took my food. She thinks that I fucking snatched it. Absolutely. That little rat guy with the mustache. Oh no. Now he's mad that you left. That's where that insult came from. Now,

did she make a grimace face or turn into the purple guy from What if the grimace started working if grimace started working at Whataburger I think no holds barred dude the Verizon guy did it Why can't you just switch? Remission show no water burger. You should go to What a burger and go hey man, but remember me from McDonald's You know pay me I'll do whatever Wendy's got chef Mike uh-huh Who's got the rights to grimace? What do they care that fucking purple freak just they're not using him They're not using Ronald more by the rights to grimace for like $100 by the rights to grimace for like a hundred dollars let's buy the rights to grimace for face jam could you imagine we should get you should just have face jam is just a grimace

it's just the exact same grimace wearing a hundred percent each shirt that's it that's it and we make him a sauce guy he just hands out sauce he could be nick's sidekick his side nick oh man could you imagine if like the third string mcdonald's mascot became the number one mascot for face jam or what a burger for either way either way whoever can get to him first probably them but we don't know whoever's got 75 in a side of fries they don't know to go after him yet. We need to get on this right now. Guys, we have about a week before this airs, so we got to work fast. Oh, man.

We'll start tweeting at McDonald's and just say like, hey, what's the Grimace's contract look like? Hey, what's the situation with that purple guy? What we got to do is though, we got to ask questions without making it seem like we want him. Yeah, that's true. Because then they're going to start upping the price that's how bidding wars work you gotta pretend like you're kind

of interested you got any garbage that you want to offload you have to like neg McDonald's to get the grimace yeah oh man we can drive down the price just by like yeah we could save a couple bucks on this this is smart we're good marketers this is really smart we're really good at could save a couple bucks on this. Yep. This is smart.

We're good marketers. We're good at this. We're really good at this. Our talents are wasted on this show. It's true. We should be selling this show and not doing it. Face jam is really just, it's turned into us having meetings about how to market face jam. That's good.

And here's the thing. Here's the thing. We don't even get people to replace us as the hosts. We just canceled the show, but we still sell the show and we's the thing. We don't even get people to replace us as the hosts. We just cancel the show. But we still sell the show. And we market the show that you can't listen to. We should recategorize this as like a business podcast. Right. Then we

can say you can't watch it or listen to it. You drive up demand. And then the new shirt is Face Jam. Where is it? That's the shirt. I used to listen to Face Jam. The new print-on-demand shirt is I used to listen to Face Jam. Right.

We got a slew of them. Got Face Jam? Question mark. And then on the back it says, no, you don't. This is really good. I like where this is heading. This is great. The people that listen to the show are lucky that we do it for them.

Yeah. They're lucky they get to hear our great ideas. We all have our crosses to carry. Oh, boy. All right. We're about 45 minutes in. Should we get into some facts? No, we're only 30 minutes, dude.

Yeah, we're making a great time. We're only 30 minutes and a third of that was an ad. Probably longer. And it was right at the beginning. The time when no one's going to turn off the podcast. Hey, have you ever listened to Face Jam before? No, that's really funny. Cool, I'll listen to the next episode.

What is it? Oh, Whataburger? I bet this will be a treat. When does the show start? Is this a commercial? It's people in most states who can't get the food that's all they can't relate to it that's also it i mean even even in the united states what a burger is only in like the southwest oh man okay let's get into these facts i printed

them out because i told eric i need to hold a piece of paper this is the paper you did it i hear it um barbecue bacon burger what a burger is delivered no wait that's jordan's thing skip right over the fact i read the first sentence and i said that's a weird way to i'm very concerned right now sorry yeah i'm concerned i'm squirmed um could be the next shirt feeling squirmy um the doctor is in and has been for more than 100 years. Dr. Pepper was first invented by pharmacist Charles Alderton in Waco, Texas in the 1880s. This fact provided by Whataburger's corporate website. Yeah, I was going to say this.

The way this is written does not sound like Eric. No, I took that directly from the Whataburger website for the Dr. Pepper shake. So it's weird. I mean, I guess like they have it, butaburger website for the Dr. Pepper shake. So it's weird. I mean, I guess like they have it, but I mean, everyone has Dr. Pepper. I guess the only big connection there is like Texas. Yeah, well, Waco is just north of here, right? So that's it. I prefer not to go there.

I don't remember where the first Whataburger was. I know it was in Texas. Probably Dallas. I'm not sure. I bet it's stupid San Antonio. Ooh, could be stupid Antonio. Wow. Nick immediately jumping in with Corpus.

Really? Oh, that's right. Wow. That's like the worst city in the state, too. Oh, hang on. Hang on. Whataburger is only available in 10 states, half of which rank it in the bottom 10 in education in the United States.

Coincidence? That one really turned from a fact to an insult in a matter of one word. What do you mean? I think he's also on to something. It was so quick. I'm always into us uncovering conspiracies and stuff. Uh-huh. So I think he's onto something i'm just saying if it's only available in 10 states and half of the states

that it's available in are in the bottom 10 in education in the united states is there a connection there i'm asking i bet new jersey is one of the one of the other 10 that whatever is not in but is in the 10 of the lowest education by the way you formed that sentence i would agree with you yeah dude i i like good i like what water burger likes there's gonna be like they're in 10 states all in the southwest and then new jersey randomly oh man it's just where they do good does word do good well that's no you just didn't understand what i said i think i i was gonna let it go i don't think i think i let you explain it pretty well i don't think you understood it you were the one that was confused people are way into ketchup that's it

that's the fact spicy ketchup is a big thing at water burger yep everybody freaks out about it nick are you one of these people he's nodding yes he's very he's holding a packet um a lot of people um were very excited weirdly and into the fact that Beto, Beto O'Rourke, who ran for Senate against Ted Cruz, his campaign colors were black and white like the spicy ketchup. A lot of people were like, oh, Beto, spicy ketchup.

He gets us. He gets us. We're in the bottom 10. He lost everything he ran for, so yeah, I guess so. Yeah, but he's a man of the people i'll tell you what he had better numbers in the senate than the presidential election yes he did there were some holdouts though he could have won that you don't have to be polling over one percent to win and he could have done it he dropped that a little too early i think a little too early think. 24 couples got married at a Dallas Whataburger on Valentine's Day, 1994.

What restaurant do you think they got divorced at? Taco Bell. I think they got divorced at a Burger King. Oh, it's Dallas. I don't know. I was going to make, it's like Texas. I was like, why are you laughing already? I didn't even get there yet.

Nick said Long John Silver. Oh, he typed it. He typed it. Okay. I was going to insinuate some sort of murder just because everybody has guns. Right. I was just going to make some kind of connection of like.

Okay. Well, do we want to workshop this? And we can just tack it on at the end of this? I feel like we wasted the time that we had already. Sure. Sure. Like if we hadn't done the opening the way we did, we'd

have time to workshop yeah right but unfortunately i'm gonna say uh yeah tweet tweet your uh figure out how you would have raised yeah the joke that the one of them just uh shot the other one hashtag what a murder oh what a murder that's good bringing us back around probably statistically speaking the husband probably shot the wife. And that's purely statistics. If we're talking about male, female. And if the wife had murdered the husband statistically, it's more likely to be like poison or something.

I watch a lot of those shows. You can customize your order nearly 40,000 ways and have a secret menu drink called The Hulk, which is Powerade mixed with sugar. Surge. Surge.

Oh, I was like, you spelled it wrong and left off an R. Nope, I spelled it right. Surge. But lowercase S. That's what you're using. Yeah, I know.

That's true. If you put a capital S and it's a brand, sorry. You want to take it from the top? The Hulk, I'll just start from there, which is Powerade mixed with Surge, lowercase S, four of the states where you can find Whataburger

lead the nation in diabetes. Coincidence? All right. Now we need to cross-reference those states with bottom 10 in education. We need a computer. And then we'll be onto something. We need a program here. They're the ones that you think are the ones.

Okay. Yeah. I want to feed this data into a computer and just see what comes out, because this is fascinating. We're going to get some interesting analysis here. I think what would come out of the computer is a BBQBB or whatever. Yeah. Wait, now are you saying that's not healthy for you? Yes.

Are you a doctor? No. No? Well, good then. then that's fine i only listen to doctors i only listen to doctors trying time you're i feel like you're trying to undermine what they're trying to create here they're trying to bring people together you know um another reason we did the bbq bb even though we'd done essentially the same burger at mcdonald's is slim pickings right now there's not people aren't going super heavy into limited edition food there's some but there's not a lot and we were basically presented with some some less than stellar choices milk toast is how i would describe milk toast is a good way to describe it um or repeats to restaurants we'd already been to which we will do eventually but Or repeats to restaurants we'd already been to,

which we will do eventually, but there's still plenty we haven't been to. So we wanted to go to a new restaurant, even though the menu item is similar. Whataburger's out here still doing it, trying to provide for the people, bringing people together. And you're just slinging biased hate over here,

calling their food unhealthy. Yeah, 100%. you don't know that uh-huh there's pickles on it you know that's what is that vegetable that's a vegetable there's onions on it yeah also good are you gonna go like uh onion healthy vegetable like yeah dude i don't think you get much from an onion do you get layers eric it's a vegetable okay just stop at the v why win if you're yeah if you're vegging you're good that's that's part of that's like the this burger is like the it's like the food pyramid like you get it all man it's all in there it's got grains the bun bun. Uh-huh.

It's got your- Sell it. Your meat and your dairy. Your dairy? Your veggies? Your veggies. What else do you want? What do you want them to do? Grok on your feet?

I know you're used to it. No, you're just asking if it's unhealthy. I'm saying yes. No, you don't know that. He's saying it's not. I'd be curious to look at the calorie count and i think you'd be surprised i i you'd be surprised i don't think so i think i looked at the burger and i just went jesus christ like i knew what i was getting into

is anybody else sweaty after eating this by the way oh yeah 100 i'm like i'm cooking right now it's really sweat i feel like you could cook me right now i've got some grease going on and i'm wearing 100 eat shirt dude that's like my wrapper oh yeah i've washed my hands like three times and they still smell like the hamburger stop smelling your hands no what a gross sound all right well that's that and that's those are the facts those are the facts and those are just the facts or opinions depending on mostly opinion especially those are facts burger chain coincidence you want to get into what this what this is yeah get into the food all right barbecue burger. You got a little taste of this before, but here it is again. Whataburger is delivering.

You got a sneak peek. Whataburger is delivering classic backyard barbecue flavor with the brand new limited time barbecue bacon burger, BBQBB. This spring, don't let bad weather or an empty propane tank get in the way of your cravings. Or, you know, maybe if something else is going on. This is just for the website. The barbecue bacon burger has three slices of savory bacon, smoked cheddar, and Monterey Jack.

Paired with two of Whataburger's 100% fresh pure beef patties and a smoky tangy barbecue sauce. All atop a five inch bun. The fuck is a five inch bun? Well, that's how big the bun is. Yeah. I've never heard a bun described by its diameter. I think they're really into

like how big the burgers are at Whataburger. I think that's like their thing. They also do... Tell me how big the patty is, not the bun. They also do small inch buns. I believe they're three inches.

Do they really? I'm pretty sure. Like wearing a little hat. Yeah. You can get a baby burger. That's what I'm just... Bacon burger. That's what I'm just saying. Bacon burger. That's a BBBQBB.

Can I order the barbecue bacon burger with a three inch bun? Yeah, that's what I want. To make it look bigger? But I want the bottom bun to be the five inch bun and the top bun to be the three inch bun. Like a little hat. Yeah. Uh-huh. The true pyramid.

Uh-huh. Dr. Pepper Shake. hat yeah uh-huh the true pyramid uh-huh uh dr pepper shake both water burger and dr pepper are texas icons and there's no better way to show your texas pride than by having the ultimate lone star state treat made with pure dr pepper syrup this shake has that classic dr pepper flavor with a small town diner feel i'll tell you what there's there's a better not made with dr pepper i don't know what is a better way to show your texas pride there's a better way there's gotta be a better way to do it than putting this poison in you clapping your hands during that part yeah right i think that's a way better way than having to drink this weird milkshake yeah it's bizarre we'll get into it it's a way better way than having to drink this weird milkshake. Yeah. It's bizarre.

We'll get into it. It's bizarre. A better way would be just drink a Dr. Pepper. Yeah, right? A hundred percent. Or drink, better yet, drink a Big Red. Yeah. Yes, that is a weird drink for down here.

I don't get that. Yeah, it's disgusting. Gross drink. Yep. Jordan, look, there's a quote. Ooh. Ooh, there sure is. Quote, the perfect balance of bacon, smoked cheddar cheese, and tangy barbecue sauce.

Make this a standout burger, said Whataburger Vice President of Marketing and Innovation, Rich Scheffler. We're bringing that backyard barbecue taste to Whataburger customers everywhere. Except where there's no Whataburger. Right. Yeah. The customers, the Whataburger customers. It's true. Yeah. Not people. If you're not a Whataburger customer Right. Yeah. The customers. The Whataburger customers. It's true.

Yeah. If you're not a Whataburger customer, fuck off. You're not people. You're not people. If you're not at Whataburger, what are you? Yeah. Hey, when you guys ordered today, did you say talking about getting that barbecue bacon cheese? I didn't.

Damn. No, I'm a normal human. Eric, I thought the mask was enough. I didn't want to push my luck. I ordered the burger and then also asked for the shake as my drink. And then she was like, ooh, getting all the new stuff. Whoa. So hopefully she runs that feedback up the flagpole and gets Whataburger to keep churning out these limited time things maybe it's like a food stop she gets a commission

yeah it's like making a reserve she did ask me if i wanted to join water burger power rewards or something what a burger rewards member damn i say no every time i don't want store credit for my trade-ins you trade in in other places' hamburgers? Can I get barbecue bacon cheeseburger, please? Is this enough? The guy that I ordered from was really excited that I was getting it, and all of his front teeth were gold, and he was stoked that I was going for it.

So he probably was a doctor. Yeah. You should have asked him about the nutrition facts. Yeah, he's rich. Okay. So I pulled up the nutrition facts on. Oh my God. The barbecue bacon.

Nick, Nick, this, Nick is going to get so upset. He like took his headphones off. He doesn't want to hear it. It's weird because next to the word nutrition, there's an asterisk. And then at the bottom it says, cannot legally be defined as nutrition. So that's interesting. I've never seen that before. I have never heard of that either.

Yeah, that's interesting. Let me start off here. Protein, 59 grams. Wow. That's 118% of your daily value. Christ. Okay. So you want to get fucking big?

Just eat these. Ignore all of the other facts I'm about to hit you with. And just think of the protein. Carbs, 68 grams. So that's 23% of your daily. It's not good. It's not terrible. It's not terrible.

For a five-inch bun, not bad. 18 grams of sugar. Yeah, with a three-inch bun, who knows? Wow. Cholesterol, 140, I guess, milligrams? Yeah. Not great, 47%. You're half the day there.

Here's where it starts getting icky. Starts. Sodium, 2,450 milligrams. Holy shit. starts sodium 2450 milligrams that's 102 percent it's 102 percent of your daily value and that is the recommended daily value you don't even you don't even need that much yeah um total fat 60 grams that's 92 percent wow saturated fat 24 grams 120 percent of your daily value um clocks in at 1055 calories wow jesus that's a that's lower than i thought i stand by what i said this got vegetables that's and the protein is just a bonus but you're just reading the facts if we just got the hamburger, which we did not do.

Yeah. We got the hamburger. We each got what fries or onion rings, and then also this shake. No, no, no. I got apple slices. He's a healthy boy. That's a fruit.

I made up for everything right here. This evens it out. This is what you call balancing. Now, I didn't eat any of them, but I got them. No, you're showing me a closed package of the apple slices. He bought them. That's as good as eating. Look.

Look at this bite. Look. He'll absorb it by touching it. I took one bite. I'm going to put them under my pillow when I go to sleep at night, and then I'm going to absorb. This guy gets it. It's going to filter out the toxins that I put on my body.

It's like one of those crystals you buy it's like a magic crystal bead it's what Dr. Drew says to do oh you just took another bite of the apple I'm chowing down I'm getting healthier by the second you guys are wasting away I'm bulking up I got protein I got fruit I got vegetables you're bulking up on apples

I'm transforming before your very eyes no I'm bulking up on the protein, Eric. The apples are leveling me out. To what? They don't subtract anything. No, it all adds up. If anything, you're adding more calories. No, I'm not.

Yeah. What do you mean? He says as he takes another bite. Okay, Dad. This is what happens when you get Michael to a corner corner he just goes i can do whatever i want yeah you know what you can't even strike me because i'm at my house oh my god i live in the corner and that's pretty much that yep yeah so what do you guys think of the whataburger barbecue bacon burger with dr pepper shake let me let me talk about the shake first okay please that

didn't taste like dr pepper at all like not at all that was a vanilla shake with a hint of some other flavor that's not dr pepper like dr pepper has a distinct flavor to it when you get to the end of it it starts tasting not like a vanilla shake as much anymore but still not dr pepper but still not dr pepper um you know when you 7-eleven sometimes has like coke and dr pepper slurpees those things taste like the thing so that's what i was expecting with this and yeah nothing i mean i drank a lot of it because it's a shake it just didn't taste like what it was supposed to taste i didn't feel the texas pride right surging through my veins as i drank it so that was pretty disappointing uh the burger was pretty good though yeah yeah the i don't i don't i don't know if this was just a good one or what but like this is probably like the best water burger i've

had oh wait hang on hang on hang on what do you mean just a good one have you had this burger before no i just mean like their patties and stuff the patty was like really good and flavorful like maybe they prepared it a different way it really did like i get i got the uh like maybe they prepared it a different way it really did like i get i got the uh the backyard barbecue vibes you know oh you got the sales bitch yeah the advertising worked that's awesome just did i like the barbecue sauce the it's the same barbecue sauce they put on the uh chicken strip barbecue sandwich but i like a lot it's it is very tangy that's probably where all that sugar comes from oh definitely uh it's definitely like all in that um the onions were big and chunky not my favorite um i couldn't eat the whole thing though because it was a double it's a big sandwich i'm a small boy big and that

that five inch bun like if i just had like two inches less of bun maybe i could have eaten the whole thing who knows um i'm trying to think of how it compares to the mcdonald's one which was for me a very forgettable sandwich and i think i enjoyed this one more um eric do you have reference can you look into the archives real quick and tell me real quick what's of this? The quickest way you're going to find it is a chart or a graph someone sent us from all the schools. Go ahead and look up. I'm just saying. Maybe the Face Jam social team tweeted one of those.

Go ahead and listen to the episode. Go ahead and listen to the episode. I'm sure it's in there somewhere. You're correct. You didn't love it. I don't remember what you rated it. I think I gave it around a 50 or something. It was probably in the,

I was going to say 60s, probably around somewhere. I think this burger is about a 70. Wow. The shake is kind of just like, so like plain and like not even what it's supposed to be. So I'm going down to 63. 63?

Yeah. Ooh, that shake brought it down. That's crazy. Sure did. I don't like to be falsely advertised too i don't know if you know that about me now i do uh i i somewhat agree with jordan about the shake it didn't scream dr pepper not like a face jam shirt would no right deafening silence no um but i don't know that that's a bad thing because i don't when i heard dr pepper shake my first thought was gross yes and it wasn't gross to me so my assumption is maybe i'm giving them too much

credit my assumption is maybe they tried that and went icky and started lessening the dr pepper because it did there was like i would get you know there's so many 27 flavors right in the dr pepper there's so many flavors i didn't know which one or 23 sorry i'm adding them 31 days i was getting flavors i'll go up to 34 days, okay? Try and stop me. I think what was happening was I was getting one of those 23 every now and then, but not all at the same time. It also sounds like mine was mixed better than at least Eric's. It's possible. We did go to different restaurants. Yeah, you guys had a different one. I didn't have the crazy old man.

I had the woman who was trapped. But it's a franchise, right? It should be yeah it should be but like especially when you're dealing with stick right when you're dealing it should be but when you're dealing with a milkshake like that's manual labor right someone's gotta make that yeah that's you got you're putting a lot of trust into this person there's a lot more room for someone to fuck that up right um i liked it i liked it more than i thought i would but again maybe because it didn't taste like dr pepper and a milkshake right but to me then then it's just like we made this like milkshake that doesn't taste like dr pepper but we're gonna slap the name

on it like just call it something else it was sweeter for sure like i could taste the syrup like not that milkshakes aren't sweet because it's just sugar yeah there was definitely like another sweetness to it yeah definitely a milkshake doesn't normally have now the burger and i'm glad you you brought this up um that we had the mcdonald's or you know you like compared it to that i like that mcdonald's burger um but the thing with the mcdonald's burger was again because we hadn't discussed eating it I had unfortunately Consumed it Two or three or four or five times Who can say how many times Some people lose count

I mean I did 100% 100% lost count That's another shirt It's part of the 100% line I have the shakes right now from the burger I'm breathing heavy I'm sweating No it's definitely the burger trust me

this is what healthy food does to you by the way and i said i said to jordan well it's it's my body restructuring itself to be healthy after all the apples i'm going through the change like i bet captain america didn't feel great when he walked out of the machine you know he felt i mean in the movie he like immediately started running after that guy so yeah i'm gonna do that right after there was minutes it was minutes okay he kind of fell out of the machine and then and then the woman caught his pecs and she was like oh and he was like that's me right now i'm like uh i'm i'm i'm trying to uh control my new power is what's happening okay so this is michael's origin story so uh uh when we talked about getting this burger this one came up and i said hey this is great i haven't eaten this one yet um but then we were coming up to the episode and i thought this is going to be compared to the mcdonald's burger

and that one i had eaten a bunch and it got more i had a better palate for it because i got to experience it so many times so i will say in the effort of being uh you know i knew this was gonna be a little bit of a different episode we're all doing it from home i took the plunge and I did go eat this burger on Sunday. Well, I had to try. I had to get my taste buds ready for it. Right. So that doesn't make any sense.

It makes sense because I had the McDonald's one. So I needed to try this one. So I had it on Sunday. No, it doesn't make sense is that you had the McDonald's one like four times. That's what you did wrong. You don't do it again. Okay. Well, you're both making sense.

But Eric's like, I had it four times. So then I thought, this isn't good enough. Now I just ate the burger one time. So I got it Sunday night, and then I thought, I should eat this again. So I ate it for lunch on Monday. I went out on Monday, and I ate it for lunch. And then I thought, should I get it on Tuesday? But I've already had it for dinner. I already had it for lunch.

So I did go and have it for breakfast on Tuesday. Okay? They were like, hey, you want breakfast? No, give me the bucket. It was 11 o'clock in the morning, and I had it for breakfast, and man, it's a big sandwich. Around Tuesday, I really didn't want to eat it anymore. I think I know why you're shaking now. So then I thought, I can do one more, so I ate it at 11 o'clock last night, also on Tuesday.

I had it a second time. And then I ate it today. So I've eaten it five times. You've eaten three in 36 hours. I've eaten it five times since Sunday. Here are the receipts. They will be submitted for expensing. I'm shaking.

I've got, let's see. I got four five four six four seven four seven and four eight. Were they eventually like sir are you okay? Why do you keep coming back? Here's the crazy part. One of the receipts is orange and the other four are blue. What's up with that? What's going on? I don't know.

Orange ink. Tough times. Please post a picture. Please post a picture. I'm going to post a picture. I don't know. Please post a picture. Please post a picture. I'm going to post a picture. I don't know if it's if I'm catching COVID or it's the Whataburger, but I really it was hard to taste now. But specifically this burger. So now I thought I can rate this like McDonald's. But here's the thing, Jordan.

I didn't have the shake. Never ordered the shake until today. That does throw a bit of a wrench into things. The receipts prove it. I will be reviewing them. There's also a lot of other food with these. It's crazy. Michael was showing me that he was going every day.

He was showing me like in the drive-thru. How come he tells you these things? It's so great. But then like last night or whatever he just sent me a picture in the drive-thru and he goes i don't even want to eat this you don't have to michael what i said was i don't want to eat it anymore and he said and he said you don't have to eat it anymore and i said listen i told my wife that tuesday morning when i was eating this burger at 10 30 crying in bed eating it i said i don't have to eat it anymore and I said listen I told my wife that Tuesday morning when I was eating this burger at 1030 crying in bed

eating it I said I don't want to do this anymore she said you don't have to just stop and I said I can't stop this is how heroes are made and legends are born that is what I told her this is my Captain America origin story you had no idea how on brand you were

oh man so with that I'm gonna rate this combo an 85 Captain America origin story. You had no idea how on brand you were. Oh, man. So with that, I'm going to rate this combo an 85. Wow. How much of that is the burger? Most of it's the burger when I could taste it. Gotcha. Oh, man. That comes out to a 74.

74. I don't disagree with the average. I guess I could live with that. But I can't live with Michael doing this to himself. I'm not mad that you go and eat the burger before we eat it. Because honestly, I expect it from you. But you're going to kill yourself. You're not going to become Captain America. You're going to become captain of those four states that all lead the nation of diabetes.

Yeah, dude, that's still a captain. He's still in charge of somebody. Right? There might be a bunch of dying fat bugs with no feet, but hey, you're the captain. Instead of a shield, I'm going to have a girdle. I have a personal trainer that I've been texting with to try and work you know work out outside of you know like do stuff at home just like hey how are things going I texted her and I said I'm doing

something you're not gonna like and she replied is it food oh yeah it's food no I mean and she knows that's being vague she knows she gets the run down she's not happy about it it makes it all the sweeter that you've read the burger nutrition facts.

Yeah. Knowing that you've eaten it three times within the last day and a half. Yeah. That is, you're, please like get a cleanse or something. Go on a cleanse for like the rest of the week. I almost ate three in 24 hours. It was like 25, 26 hours. You're so close. You're just so close. Couldn't be done. I almost ate three in 24 hours. It was like 25, 26 hours. You're so close.

You're just so close. Couldn't be done. I got, let me just real quick. Let me fire off the times. Okay. Yeah, let's do the math on this. 10.43 p.m. Uh-huh.

Next day, 2.57 p.m. Uh-huh. Next day, 10.20 a.m. That's three within 24 hours, isn't it? No, this is another day. No no there's a three oh you're right and then same day from the 10 20 a.m 11 32 p.m so that's two and 12 hours uh and then 11 45 a.m oh my god three i was an hour and a half off i'm ordering three yeah let me tell you last i thought it was a day and a half this is just a

day it's barely a day last night at 11 it's 11 20 i told eric i planned on going for dinner i couldn't do it i just couldn't i couldn't i was like i can't i can't do it and i thought i was gonna quit and around 11 o'clock i had i was like my hero moment where i was like no no they must be done the jammers need me i can't quit now And every time I texted Eric, he was just as shocked as the last time. I could not believe that he was still going through with it because if he stopped, it would have been fine. But that's not what this was going to be. It's not what it was about.

It's all about pushing your limits, this show, apparently. Yeah, I'm like Michael Phelps, basically. You're the Michael Phelps of eating Whataburger three times in a day. Eric, you need to stop referring to us as our heroes. Uh-huh. Because I think it's going to Michael. Our saviors.

Our saviors. Our champions. I think he's getting a bit of a complex. It's not going to my head. It's been there for a while. Yeah, now it's going to your tummy. It lives in my head. It was always there.

He just needed somebody to tell him. Fucking crazy. So every time we eat one of these barbecue bacon cheeseburgers you're gonna eat five of them beforehand just not eat it again well now i want to do it every like episode well i can't i can't i'll figure something out you know i don't know what it is i love this one yes i can this one unfortunately was a double it really hurt yeah that's yeah the double the mcdonald's ones were singles or doubles and i mostly got singles this is a big ass burger dude when we were talking about it yesterday nick said oh i haven't eaten fast food since the last episode and i laughed and cried at the same

time when i read that you just thought oh it must be nice oh my god well let's go on to our not snack attack second yes so snack attack you can play the snack attack sound effect if you want to but uh snack attack is the usual thing that we have where we do one bite reviews of uh snacks that are sent in by fans great they're being sent into an office that i can't go to right now also if i were to get them how would i get them to everyone very unfortunate unfortunate, very sad stuff. I'm sad. But we came up with a replacement for now.

I call it Serpcides. It is a portmanteau of surprise and sides. It's not really a portmanteau because sides, the whole word is in there. Yeah, Serpcides. So what you do- You should say Serpcides. Yeah, there. Yeah, Serpcides. So what you do- You should say Serpcides. Yeah, Serpides.

Serpcides. So it's called Serpcides, and what you do is you get a cider or a snack or something from the restaurant that you're going to that you've never had before, and one-bite review this thing. It doesn't have to all be the same thing because it's just going to be your one-bite review

of your weird thing, whatever you got yeah after it's sitting out for an hour while we do this show so it has been sitting next luckily mine was in a package oh yeah michael what did you get so i ordered fruit chews which i didn't realize were on the menu and i went that's weird that sounds like little fruit gummy snacks it's exactly what they are what a burger sells them they're like fruit snacks yeah they're Whataburger branded fruit snacks. Fat free, no preservatives, mixed fruit. You know? I got one out.

It's a strawberry. I got a strawberry. Lots of fruits and vegetables in this episode. Oh, dude, I'm healthy as shit. What do you think? One bite review of your strawberry fruit chew. It's a fruit snack. It's good.

90. Wow. I like fruit snacks. They're yummy. Wow. Alban's good. 90. Wow. I like fruit snacks. They're yummy. Wow. Albanese level. Ooh, very nice. Jordan, what'd you get?

I got the Whataburger cinnamon bun. What the fuck? Yeah, this was on their sides and desserts menu, because their sides is just fries and onion rings. And the apple slices. What else do they got? Those are sides too. Apple slices were there also.

This was also dessert. So this is just a cinnamon roll that Whataburger made. Don't forget to take pictures of these so that way we can post the pictures of what you're eating. I ate them all. Oh, shit. I'm going to take a bite. Okay. Oh, Jesus.

That thing's big. Yeah, it's huge. How is it as a cinnamon roll? it's huge how how is it as a cinnamon roll i think you have to judge it as like as a cinnamon roll and then like as a fast food dessert thing as a cinnamon roll all the components are there all right it is a cinnamon roll it is it tastes like one it looks like one they did it um it has been sitting here for about an hour probably not as fresh as it could be it's a little dry I 75 it's

wow that's pretty good that's higher than you rated the actual food you ate today I mean I love a good dessert so I'll just keep this and make this my meal go heat that up and have some more that's smart you're thinking smart and there you have it Serp Sides hey do you want to send us snacks to review i guess

you can right now you don't have to i mean you shouldn't but if you want to send it to face jam courtesy of eric bedore 1901 east 51st street austin texas 78723 i'm gonna figure out a way how to get these snacks but then i don't know how to distribute them. I'll figure something out, but for now, it's Serpcides. My favorite part about that segment is basically the name because it sounds so gross. It sounds like you're burping as you say it. Serpcides.

Serpcides. See? Perfect. Use that sound and that's the intro sound. Nick's shaking his head. Here's what you should do also. You should follow us on Twitter at FaceJamPod. We already did that.

We did that at the front this time. Yeah, we're going to do it at the back. We're going to make a sandwich. We're going to FaceJamPod sandwiches. You can find out about the shirt. Find out about the shirt. We'll find the pictures of all the stuff we're talking about.

Get your grandson to make you a Twitter account. Follow FaceJam. That's all you need. I'm gonna uh pass along the picture of my receipts to the social team we're gonna make it look nice i told eric i might buy a shadow box and frame them and put them on my wall um and also maybe a plea to nick you know he said like you know maybe you're gonna add like you add like little sound effects like hey we're doing this segment can you add a thing at the beginning of the shirt

warning people we're gonna talk about it for 12 minutes and when they can skip it maybe maybe like if you're gonna turn this off no I think that's good content go to 14 minutes and 30 seconds for the start of the show this ran long but I don't count it because it's it's actually quite timely if you remove that section. I mean, it was the whole thing where we came up with the initial face jam challenge. If you take those 14 minutes out also, that's a timely episode. Yeah. There you go.

That's the time I'm working off of. So, hey, everyone, we did it. Boom. Yeah, that's bonus content. We did it. I need to see a doctor, but I hear it's a long wait right now. I don't feel well. I woke up with a stomach ache and a headache this morning.

Nobody wants to be the guy who goes to the doctor during a pandemic being like, I ate too much Whataburger. Help me. And here's the thing. They'll say, how much Whataburger, sir? And I'll say, I had five BBQ BBs in four days. And then they'll put me on a stretcher and rush me and they'll push the guy out of the way. They'll be like, oh, he's not even making sense.

Oh, my God. I cut myself earlier today. I didn't bleed for 12 minutes. I just kept waiting. As long as that segment lasted. I just kept waiting. I was squeezing my arm and nothing came out. It's been absorbed by all those burgers.

You got burger blood. Well, that'll do it. That'll do it for today's episode of Face Jam. Don't forget to rate and subscribe and tell a friend face and look for the 31st it's somewhere we just gotta we gotta get can we get this hashtag going yeah like yep april 31st april 31st where is it we're gonna get a lot of tweets on may 1st being like it's april 31st uh okay goodbye bye everybody May 1st be like it's April 31st over at the shirtless. Okay, goodbye. Bye everybody.