100% Eat - WHO is Matty Matheson? - KFC Ride Along

Episode Date: February 19, 2026

Nick doesn't know who Matty is and he's mad about it. It's KINDA a bit! Saucy Monkey Lies in Australia. Grab a greasy curd NOW and chow down on a dry bowl. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We got here. I don't, you guys were talking to each other, you two. Which two? Which two? Who? Nope. Nope. Who was chat? What about for audio listeners? The two hosts. Who's that? Nick and Eric? The two hosts. I thought he was talking about me and Nick or you and him?

Okay. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would never talk to Nick. So the two hosts, we're talking to each other. Me and Nick walked in together. And it's next to that sign with the Maddie. Yeah. Maddie Matheson is there and it's Maddie's nuggy gravy ball. Maddie from the bear. Uh-huh. And it smells good. No, it's not gonna be.

And smells good. Maybe it's your chicken pot pie. And Nick started going, it's not mine. Nick started going, oh, what are we getting? Oh, is that? You think he's good?

Yeah, we should get this. Is it him? Who is that? Is that him? Is that him? He just kept going, he just kept going, is that Maddie?

Because I kept not fucking answer. And I just kept going, I just kept going, I don't know if you're doing a bit. I mean, kind of. And he just went, yeah, who is that? Yeah, who is it? I don't know who that is. Anyway.

I don't know who that is. Just waiting for some answers. I don't know why shit I don't know if that is. Who the fuck is Maddie? Why should I give a shit? Yeah, which guy is that? Dude, he's like one of the like,

he's one of the like, ancillary characters who were just like fucking around in the background. He's like... But I don't know who he is outside of the show. He's like, he's a chef. Oh. He's like, he's not a chef on the show.

Like Food Network ended and then it's internet chefs and he's like an internet chef. Oh. Dude, people on the internet aren't fucking live. He's, losers. I agree. He's like a real job. He has to be like one of the top like online chef, like food network style like chef personality. You sound like an asshole just talking about. Yeah, I agree. He's so big. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, like the internet. If you had like a chef who like food network. Have you ever done anything? Do you? Do you? He's big. Okay. And that's how people are. I saw the picture of him. That's how people were explaining that. But the whole time. He's like really. popular you just he

well but then no one knows what this guy is saying Nick's going I don't know what uh I didn't know I didn't I didn't I didn't tell if you actually didn't know him how can you not tell

at this point that everything he says to you is genuine yeah it's true it's true I don't think Nick has ever one time I don't like with any of us I think he I just asked him he was doing a bit and he went yeah Nick doubles down into the bit That boils down into the bit after he genuinely got there and we start questioning it. Then he turns it on.

No. He doesn't start there. It doesn't start from a place of like. Sorry. Did you just hear what he just said? We've had that happen on the street road. In the middle of you guys talking. He panned that bike, the cyclist.

It just went, hit that guy. Again, not a bit. What do you think? No, that was a bit. Yeah. That happened further up this very road. Is that Marshall? It's true.

We did almost had a cyclist that one. That's right. Or we pantomimed. Yeah, yeah, okay. We are, it's over there. This guy, stinks. We're closer now than we were when you were saying we were close to it.

No, we were here. Originally. We were here in this spot. We were here in this spot. We were here at this section of the fucking room. Let me look it up on like what three words and I'll tell you exactly what three words. I will, I'll do it.

What's the most important words a man can say? This guy gets it. Yeah. Can, yeah, look up. They don't get it. Look up the three words. And then look up sauce monkey lies. And then see where it puts us.

What? Oh, that's interesting. Okay. Where do you think it would take us? Where do you think he's lying? Where are you lying about? You're saying that's interesting. I pose the question.

Hey, where do you think that would take us? Yeah, that's what I'm asking. Dude, we're standing on sauce monkey lies. Oh, I do. We're standing on sauce monkey lies. That's all he knows. We're standing on. We're standing on.

Sweetly, Ledge, Knights. Mm. Mm. Mm. Makes you think. Yeah, not that hard, though. Not me. No.

I'm actually trying to unthink this conversation. I'm actively trying to unthink it. I'm just still trying to think what the hell happened during the halftime show. Tony explained it to me. Well, Kid Rock came out and he started like, you know, like really going for it. Also, did you start lip sync? Did you see one guy? I know, I was talking about the un-American halftime show, not the American one.

I don't know if it was like, because, you know, the most important people coming out are like politicians talking about it. Yeah. Yeah, they're important. Somebody said it was gay porn on TV. What? When? What? There was literally a heterosexual couple that got married in the middle of the performance.

At the gay porn movie? Gay porn. Did you look up sauce monkey lies? So, uh, there's not a sauce monkey lies. Okay. There is a saucy monkey lies. Oh. It is he gay?

It's in South. Australia. Oh. In like in like the middle of the outback. I'm not going any further than northern Australia. Oh. Oh, that's like dead center. That's the middle middle. Sassy monkey lies. I thought there was a suave monkey lie. There was a suave monkey lies. Yeah, we're swab monkey. Not in this car. Let me go back. No. He's right here. What are these? Oh. Oh. Oh my God. They're melting me. I'm getting burned. Ah! They're so hot. They're so greasy. Oh, no. I touched one. Oh, George. Oh, my God. Jesus. Oh, sleeping into my skin. Swave monkey lies is in Alaska. Oh, I've been there. It's like near the border. It's like way east of

Fairbanks. Uh. Was it cold? Pretty cold in the summer. That's crazy. How's the curd? Fucking greasy. I thought I thought you were about to say fucking good and that was going to blow Yeah, I was gonna. Well, you'll note, I didn't. He sure did. Oh, man. That's interesting.

Even putting it into my mouth, I feel I'm getting, like, excited and waiting for it. And I go, that's- Oh, that's- So cheese curdy. The smell is so strong. Boy, it doesn't taste cheese curdie, though. Here. Don't touch the bag. Did you not just learn a fucking lesson?

You think how they can be that cheesy curdie and taste like that, and I don't know. It tastes like grease. They're just grease. It's salty. It's salt and grease. The texture sucks. There's no fry on it. It tastes like old fry oil. Oh, yes, it does. There's so much cheese and you don't taste that much cheese.

It's just grease. It's like, you know, when you eat like low, like low fat mozzarella. It's like, oh, this doesn't taste like anything. Like, what was the point of this? Right. It's like that, but then grease. It's like, holy. I'm glad we've had a bad cheese curd now, though. Because, like, we have such good luck with the cheese curd.

Yeah. On a regular basis. Yeah. They're kind of hard to do that, too. Yeah. Yeah. But you know what? The colonel finds out.

They've done it. Do you think he was eating them on that camel? He gets on the camel. He made him from the camel. The greasiest. He puts sauce and grease all over the camel. He climbs on top. It's like crack through.

I want another one, but I don't. My mouth wants it. I don't. Don't worry. What do you think? in that bowl we got. Oh, I have no idea. Chicken?

Fries? Is it chicken? Yeah, which one did we get? Is it fucking chicken? Maddie saucy Nuggy Bowl. Who's Maddie? Who is Maddie? Who the fuck is she?

Yeah, you never answered his question. Wait, isn't she in the Discord? We do. No. Nailed it. Got it. You're welcome. Genuine.

That's how you know I'm down with the audience. Mattie from the Discord's gravy, nuzzy, nugsy cheesy bowl? That's awesome. Nugsy cheesy bowl? Say or whatever just to cover your basis. I just fucking stavort tile. Remember when you did that?

Remember when you said that? No, I don't remember that. I remember that. Nuzzy, soggy. Yeah. I just put it in swartboats and we can get out of the stairs. Finally. Wow.

Give me out. Get us in. My problem with these cheese curds is they don't even give you a chance. One star. I didn't even even. I didn't look up new ones. I went back and reread the one. It made me a laugh. The Yelp reviews were crazy.

Looking for the app. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, that was nuts. You gotta let them know, dude. Who, Yelp? Apparently. Yeah. Well, you gotta imagine at some point, if you're a business,

you might, like, every now and then check in on the Yelp reviews and see if you're mentioned. Right? Like, we should be checking Yelp reviews in case someone actually If someone accidentally is trying to review on us and they accidentally want Yelp, we should do our own homework and make sure we're not missing reviews. Yep. So if you want to leave a review for this podcast, you go to Yelp on the Apple store. Five stars.

We're one, dude. Yeah, one star. Honestly, one star's fine. We're not telling you what to rate it. We're just telling you to fucking do it. We don't even give you a chance. Yeah. No, we don't.

Unless you want to pay to sit in the cuff chair. Then we'll give you one chance. The tiniest chance. The smallest of chances. That's right. Yeah, I mean, you have more, your chance is still virtually 0%. But it's more than not being in the cuck chair, is all I'm saying. You have a better chance than being in the Discord, which is zero.

My car in sport mode. Jeez, what's up? Put my car in sport mode and it feels like it wants to go so fast. You said car in sport mode and I thought you were saying something, something, curds. Yeah. Kurt. Is it because you want curds so bad? No, I was, Michael's got curd.

I was thinking, do you want curds too? No, I think, too. I feel like you do. Two, do you do. Do you want courage to do? I feel like you do. Remember when I held the bag nice for you and you grabbed the grease for no reason?

I grabbed all the grease. You just latched onto it. Oh, there's so much grease. You know you can't stop yourself. So much grease. Here. Here comes another one. Oh, no, I'm getting this.

Look at this little shrimp boat. Look, it's like a little peepie. Actually, is it on camera, Nick? Yeah. Is he going to film it? Yeah. Okay. He took so many bites at it.

I thought I was going to get nibble. It was, it's so soggy. That's the, that is like, it was so shimpy. It's overcooked and under. Yes. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. It's over cooked, but soft.

And I don't understand how. Also, why is they end up a crunch in the outside? Why? Just put your slop in the ball, fat man. Fucking. Give me it. This isn't Maddie's idea. Give me my fucking horse food.

This isn't his fault. Get off the camel. Put it in a bowl. Get off the camel and then sit next and eat with the camel in the fucking food trough. You, the camel and Gracie's brother. That's what he saw. He saw how the camel's eat and he went, I must do this to the Americans. Yeah.

And what was it? Like, disposable clothes or something? Like, tear away clothes? You come in and you put on clothes? that you can take off. But it's like bib clothes or something weird. It was something about Teraway. It's like a hazmat suit.

Teraway clothes or something strange. Yeah. From the mind of the Flynn family. For sure. It's really crazy because it's Gracie and then she talks about her brothers and you go, oh, this all is sort of like it's a whole. Are you like in the normal one?

Yeah, exactly. And she goes, huh? I said, wago, wago, wago, wago, wag. Is her genuine reaction. Yeah, her genuine reaction. to that. I just feel dumber for having asked the question.

When she gets going, she goes. And I do mean, especially on SpongeBob sometimes. Oh, yeah, SpongeBob is a real. Gifts in a row. And just, I know she's looking at her phone going, er-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g. Cool hat. Cool hat.

Cool hat. It's not a hat. So I sent Gracie that package with all the stuff that was sent on the last 100th century and all the stuff we won for her at the free game. And then they attempted to deliver it once and it was during that big snowstorm. And so they couldn't deliver it.

And then I don't think they tried again and just said it. They said they sent it back to us. Then they say the address doesn't exist. It says address doesn't exist. Which I don't believe. I don't believe that. I didn't believe it either. He didn't believe it either.

And then they said they sent it back to us. I went and checked the P.O. box today. Uh-huh. We have no mail of any kind. Okay, so, Grazy didn't get it. So this package, I believe, was just lost. No, I think I know where it is. Zord on.

Oh, he got it. Oh, no. It's at the base, dude. The Ranger base. Alpha 5 is playing with all the pluffles. It's inside the Statue of Liberty. Inside the statue. It's just stuffing it with box.

I might, I'd be, I'd be kind of afraid to tell her that. He's stealing our valuables to pay for the free bus rights or whatever. Uh-huh. Because he has to pay for each one individually. Yeah. I bet he watched the fucking halftime show. Yeah. Piece of shit.

Oh, she. I heard that they taped the Turning Point USA one a week early. Really? Yeah. Did you guys hear that? I did, I did hear that it was. That's so awesome. I heard it was pre-taped.

I read this fucking, I read this awesome fucking article. It was like real short. but it was all just satire. It was so fucking funny. And it kept referring to like, who, did you ever watch a Super Bowl halftime show and think, this should be more indoors? We can get this indoors.

How about a bunker? I want it inside a bunker. This can be more indoors. And everyone's saying this, but, you know, people are screaming that, like, we can't understand it. speak English. It's like, cut to ball with the ball to bang the bang to you. It's like, ah, yes. I did see a joke. And it, like, tricked one of my friends.

Like, he didn't read the whole thing because he read the beginning and got pissed. But it was like, I can't believe they're airing this. I can't understand a word any of this is saying. And then at the end, it's like, what the fuck does Bob with the Bond to Bank to Bank? Like, what does this even mean? Dude, that you know that's Old Rich Conservatives's favorite music. Oh, yeah. They love it. They love that. They love people like him. They loved it then. They loved it now. They loved that red hot chili pepper song that just goes ding, dang, dang, dong, dang, dang.

Also, this wasn't the first time Bad Bunny was on the Super Bowl halftime. No. Yeah, but there were other, like, people, like, lessening his Puerto Ricanness. Lessening. Yeah. Now, it's just, you got one Puerto Rican guy. Yeah, you know, one Puerto Rican guy, too much. Yeah.

100%. Lady Gaga ain't enough. It was the only, it was the only oasis in the desert. Colonel? Yes. The Colonel was, that was the desert the Colonel was in. I was just getting around because it's tight. Thank you.

I appreciate you. Don't say it sarcastically. I was not being sarcastic, I appreciate you. Were you angry at Nick? I wasn't thrilled with Nick. Okay. I mean, what's Nick gonna do? He's got this and this.

Yeah. Huh? What do you want to do? I was just walking around. I was just walking around. You told me you wouldn't provide help anymore. That's- Yeah, that's what you did. You've gone back on that. several times since you said.

No, he's gone back on it. Oh. Oh, it's reciprocal. You know, I have you. I know. I have trash. I'm going to throw away. It's called the food.

Thank you. It's the cheese curds. It's cheese curds out of here. Dude, there's only like one curd left. Don't worry, we have bowls of curds. Oh, they're in the bowls? Yeah. I picked up on that when he kept saying, what do you think?

In the bowl. Cheesy nuzzie bowl. I don't know. Yeah. Why won't Manny, Maddie, you're romantic. What's his name? Let's shoot a gay porn like the half time show. Okay. Let's look at each other.

Don't worry. If we don't like what we have in our bowls. That's a huge pop pie. Holy shit. That's also got the pop pie, so we're good. That's Stanley file. Okay, this stuff. It doesn't look that cheesy at all. Oh, is it supposed to be the curds? Not a fucking rip off. I thought there's the actual juice. Why didn't do this too much? I didn't do it.

You did. Because I know we had the cheese because we know how it's disappointing now already. I like the original slop bowl. I was posted with the mashed potatoes and the cheese and the corn. I was posting a bunch of taco cabana options. That looks so dry. This is dry as dicks. God damn it.

Does they have other kinds? It's got gravy under there. Bullshit. That doesn't even look like a U.S. territory. Scoop it. Scoop the gravy. Here. Let's have a look.

Yeah, let's dig in. with the spoon. There you go, see? What? That's gravy? Hang on. This is so sad. It doesn't even look wet enough.

This is so sad. Alexa, play despicito. It's gravy. She was really... Yeah. Oh, no, so it sounded like she went. Alexa, shut the fuck up. No, we're back.

We are gay marriage. Thank God, the song ended. There you go. A three-way game. gay marry to death's a Ciceto. Only with 100% eat. Well, the episode already came out, but how do you... Whoa, Dublin.

Duh, whoa. Trying to bring this back to... I'm breathing in. The real states. That's right. 51st bullshit. Canada. You're gonna need...

Yo, shout out to you. Oh, yeah? Shout out to Canada. Canada. Babbon. On American! All right. Take that flag out of your mouth.

Well, I guess we'll see how we rated this. I said flag.