100% Eat - Wienerschnitzel Meatball Sandwich

Episode Date: February 14, 2023

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Wienerschnitzel Meatball Sandwich so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about Austin power, froot loops, the commercial, being normal in a bush at the Taco Bell owner's house, and Goldeneye. Head to http://www.store.roosterteeth.com to grab some new Face Jam merch. Butterfly forks & spoons on sale Thursday March 2nd! Sponsored by Kato's Koffee http://katoskoffee.com + code FaceJam20. Already a FIRST Member and need your Private RSS feed for this show? Go here: http://bit.ly/FIRSTRSS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. He got down. Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation and sometimes a new dance move to let you know if you need it. You probably do need the food. You don't need this dance move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, comma. How are you?

I'm good. How are you? I'm good. It's typically comma Jordan, but- Right, usually the comma's before. Here it is. Jordan, but. Right. Usually the commas are four. Here it is. Jordan comma. Well, if we had our way, there'd be a comma.

If we had our way. I have a question. Yeah. Right off the bat, I have a question. You okay here? Am I okay? Michael and I noticed you were maybe thinking about getting mad. No, I'm good.

Okay. Did it pass? No. When we got here, there were things that I needed to get, so that way I didn't have to hear about it before we started recording. So I went into work mode. I got here, I set things down, and I grabbed the things that needed to happen, printed out the stuff that I needed to get, got everything organized,

and now we're ready. It was just a very energetic conversation. You were chiming in, but you weren't like, I don't think he was chiming in at all. He did a couple chimes. He was focused. I was, I was. I jordan was just a little concerned that's all thank you because also i will say if this was the only time he was focused to be one thing but we also when we went to uh wiener schnitzel which is what we're reviewing and got the meatball sandwich

nick was very excited by a fruit poop i wasn't even going to begin to hear about it. So exactly. Just not even a good use of my time. Cause here's, here's what happened. Hey, why not? Here's what happened.

Here was, here's what happened. Nope. That's it. And I went, oh, he noticed it. And Eric's just,

I'm going inside, opening the door. I'm walking right up to the counter and I'm speaking to this woman. We're already an hour late to this recording. Well i'm gonna yeah yeah because i couldn't stop hosting yeah that's what happened um yeah i love i love i love showing up happy with your pick happy with your pick here's the thing that's why it took so long that's why it took so long it was she would ask the question you'll find out what we're talking she would ask the question and he would take so long to put his fucking little flipper up.

Like he forgot what was in what hand. It was really incredible. I mean, I watched it. He was on my side. Pretty fucking crazy. You were with a dolphin? Yeah. I'm sure I'll see.

Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry. What? The sound a dolphin makes. So the thing that Nick wanted was a Froot Loop milkshake or something. Or soft serve on a cone. It was an Oreo, Froot Loop, or whatever.

He made a noise that indicated he wanted it. And it crossed my mind, because I like to indulge him. Okay? I also wanted one. I'll be honest, I'll be honest, totally missed it on the way out. I saw it go, I'd eat that. Well, this is the funny part, because he made the noise.

I went, oh, he wants it, but also clocked, oh, Eric's not having it. I went, oh, he wants it, but also clocked. Oh, Eric's not having it. This all happened, and he missed it, kind of. And then I think I said, is it in the restaurant? Like, man, I'd bring up the thing, but it just doesn't seem like the right time to even recommend getting the Froot Loop milkshake.

Or maybe I said it to you. I don't know, because Jordan knows. I did that to Nick and he's like yeah I understand I was like it's just Nick not today maybe we can come back

another day maybe you can trick your wife into coming back that's exactly what I was going to say well that's what's going to happen he's just going to eat a fucking here's the thing this is the guy

who brought up hey you know they have Cinnabon at this place too but I don't even want that I don't want it but then but then

then that all happens we walk out and Jordan's like whoa it's this fruit milk thing and I'm like don't even want that. But then, but then, then that all happens. We walk out and Jordan's like, whoa, it's just fruitless. And I'm like, don't even bring it up. Don't do it. And then that's when Eric got quiet, I think. Oh, no, I'm sorry. I had other work that I have going on in tandem. I know, and this is what I say, Jordan. It's not fair. It isn't.

We never make him mad. No, I don't think we've ever done anything. Never. Now, one time that we ever upset upset him and he takes out his other work on us. It's just like, we're the red-headed stepchildren. It's true. It's outrageous. I don't think I blamed you at all.

Are you still eating your sandwich? Okay. It's not done yet. No, we're spinning a web. You just got stuck in it. You just got trapped. Trying to get out in that little fight. I'm the fly.

We're going to get you. Buzz buzz. Put him in the car. We're going back for the... I was going to say, that wiener schnitzel is directly across the street from the Austin FC stadium. We do like to reward ourselves

when Austin FC wins. Right. If it's not too late and the places aren't closed, we go and get some ice cream. I'm just saying, first game is February 25th. If they win that, we're going to go get the Froot Loops. This is anecdotal. We're going to get the Froot Loops.

You get the Froot Loops. They're not going to have it, by the way. No. This is anecdotal, but I feel like I should bring it up. Austin FC is a big deal. People love it. You love it. Oh, big fan. People love it. You love it. Oh, big fan.

People love it. Austin loves it, right? Do you think Austin loves Brad Stuver enough to give him power? He's been out of power for like seven days. Does he still not have power? I don't know if it's his second, but it was... Every day I just seen him going, can I get power? I'm going, can somebody help this guy out?

Oh my God. In a true socialist society, we would be able to pool our energy resources and donate them. Send them to Brad. Yeah. Spirit energy. Oh yeah. Just be like, hey, send it, send this to Stooves. Yeah.

I'm not using any of my energy right now. You can have it, Brad Stoover. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I don't owe him anything and I'd still give him a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. He needs it. Yeah.

This is probably going to cost us a game. Honestly, it's probably bad for the season. Yeah. Is that terminology correct? Yeah. I mean, it opens in like three weeks. What if he doesn't have power in the next 21 days? Think about it.

If he's still worried about his, like, if he's up there in the goal, defending the goal, and he's just like, I don't have power at home, and here comes a fucking free header, he's not going to get there. I don't think he's going to be there if he doesn't have power. Yeah, true. Probably sort that out for him. Yeah, priorities. It's Austin went through a freeze, which means it was one degree below freezing.

It was 29, I think. It was one degree and unfortunately it rained. And then half the trees cracked in the city. I've never seen that in my life. Me neither. Dude, everything, this is very Face Jam right now. So Wienerschnitzel. So the big freeze.

Dude, all the trees just went bleh. Yeah. And they just drooped. So many trees. Imagine, it was like Alice in Wonderland shit. Imagine if you got 300 Froot Loop ice creams and put them on every branch of every tree.

That's what happened to all of Austin. Well, that wouldn't be a problem because Nick would look it all up. He would. He would. He would be like Mr. Plow,

but it'd be a big old straw. Mr. Chow. Monkey in a plow, Mr. Chow. Okay, somebody go ahead and draw that. That's great. Thank you. That's great. Thank you.

That's pretty good. But they just got so heavy that all the trees just started breaking. Well, because it was a couple days. And so it just kind of looked cool for a couple days. And then on the very last day, it rained again. And was the coldest. And they all just cracked. Because the trees are going, what's on me?

What is this? It's extra weight. Yeah. I can't do it that's but it wasn't wind like i've never seen so many trees it was just ice yeah everywhere yep everywhere it was fucking crazy i i read something that if like one inch of ice covers an entire tree it's like it's like five six hundred times the weight oh really of the tree which is just gonna like bring the heaviest branches down.

That happened everywhere. What we need to tell these trees is fucking work out more. Yeah, what are you doing? Doesn't happen in other places. Nuh-uh. When it snows. Yeah, get working.

That tree can hold 10,000 times its weight. Michael's got all his limbs. I got my limbs. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I got out there

and I stood on top of my house to protect it because I could hold the weight. You shall not bash. You shall not bash. Mm, so that's what we've been dealing with. And Brad Stuber is also dealing with it too. But now we're dealing with wiener schnitzel. Well, I've dealt with it. Dealing's a good word for it. Yeah. It's, um, look, I don't, I don't hate wiener schnitzel. Yeah. Wiener schnitzel. There was Yeah. I think the closest fast food restaurant to my house was a Wienerschnitzel growing up.

Just a bike down there, get the tasty freeze, root beer float. Maybe a chili dog if I'm feeling dangerous. Whoa. Daring. I'm feeling dangerous. I need another popper. Hell yeah. So, yeah, I know it's not good.

Especially their... Oh, you could last popper. Especially their... Oh, you could tell? Yeah. Especially their actual hot dogs. Why are you looking at me? Okay. The way he like looked at me to adjust my mic. Well, Nick had to come over and make it seem like he's here to adjust the microphone.

Sure, yeah. Until he took the popper. I'll be honest. He definitely didn't make it seem like that. I don't think that was his intention, nor did it look like that. He definitely looked like he came over here to grab the last popper before someone else ate it. And while he was here,

went, huh? And touched Jordan's microphone and adjusted it. Without the headphones, it's like he could tell that something was wrong. Yeah, he went, not like this.

His facial awareness kicked in. Yeah. Anyway, I know Wienerschnitzel's not good. Yeah. And I know it's a bit of a soft spot in my heart for them that I have. But what the fuck are they doing? Meatball subs!

The audacity to try to make a meatball sub on a hot dog bun. I want to rewind that to the beginning when Jordan said, I don't hate Wiener Schnitzel. I do hate Wiener Schnitzel. I've only been there one time and it sucked ass. I get it. I'm just saying. Especially when what you're getting is whatever bullshit thing we got last time and it sucked ass. Hey, hey, hey. I get it. I'm just saying. Especially when what you're getting is whatever

bullshit thing we got last time and this. That's my Wiener Schnitzel experience and it sucked. You didn't even get the Froot Loops. I don't, no, that's probably the best part. I don't even remember what it was, but I remember going, oh man, a hot dog place, this is great. And they had a bunch of different hot dogs and they all sucked. And one was like, kinda

okay, I think. We'll learn about it in the facts section. Yeah, so Wiener Schnitzel itself is... This is a different one we went to, right? okay, I think. We'll learn about it in the facts section. But Wienerschnitzel itself is. This is a different one we went to, right? It's the only one here. That makes sense. The other one's like way south. Yeah, when I put in the directions, it was like south of, like just north of San Antonio.

Yeah, it's like head on down to Kyle, Texas. Did we parking lot Wienerschnitzel? We might have, and I think I might have picked it up. That's probably why. Yeah. That's why it seemed. Well, no, I remember going there and ordering it. We all ordered it separately. No, we parking lotted it.

No. But we took it home. We took it home. That's what we did. Oh, that was before we wised up. Yeah. This is early Pando. Oh, I think that was also when I made that video screaming about Jordan.

Remember I recorded me yelling something? It was like a song about Wienerschnitzel. Yeah, and then I sent it to you. It was me driving my car and I just hit record and it was like yelling about something about Wienerschnitzel and how much Jordan's

going to hate it. I just had a flashback. I never sent it to Jordan because I think I was like, I might actually be too mean. Oh, fuck. And I think it was a lot of like, fuck you and go fuck yourself. But it was really just for the song.

That's not that mean. And then I went, I can handle that. And I went, I don't know. Maybe I'll dig it up. And if Michael still has it, it goes right here. Yeah.

And we're back. And we're back. Yeah, didn't go anywhere. It didn't go anywhere. So, just to spite you if you this is your second time ever going to wienerschnitzel you have a very yeah experience yeah yeah you've only had hot dogs half the times that you've gone to wienerschnitzel uh

meatball sandwiches very very kind of racist commercial meatball sandwiches i didn't see that it oh you didn't watch it no No, I didn't see it. I saw you saying something. I don't know what this is, but I definitely, I know it's racist. Something to that effect. My call was,

it's not, I don't know if it's racist. It's not my place to say as a non-Italian, but I know it's a very bad commercial. Yeah. I know it's an unfunny commercial. Yeah.

It's, here, we'll watch it right now. I'll show you. Okay, here it comes. I'm so's an unfunny commercial. Yeah. It's, um, here, we'll watch it right now. I'll show you. Okay, here it comes. I'm so excited for people to try our new meatball sandwich. Yeah. Savory meatballs with melted Swiss cheese and zesty marinara sauce.

That's a lot to get excited about. Mobile order for Valentino? Sí, mi amor. Mi meatball sandwich. Okay. Just seems unnecessary. We do have a drive-thru. Oh, okay.

Huh. Guarantee you, both of those actors, not Italian. No. Also, I saw it and then i thought change the food you change the race that's uh that's a problem well for sure that's yeah that's kind of it's kind of a if if it were kind of always like that yeah it's it's like i you know i'm kind of with jordan i'm not sure yeah it comes across as wow but you make a good point the fact that is a good point the fact of swapping in a different

meat caused for another see the thing eric's doing with his head right now my thing was like i don't want to definitively say that it isn't because even though we have moved past for now, Italian discrimination. Anti-Italian discrimination. We could always come back and this could age horribly. I just don't know why. So you should dig in now and pick a stance. Like Wiener Stissel did? Yeah.

Like, why wouldn't you do that with like just Sopranos rip off mob guys instead? And then no one, you're not like, oh, it's Italian. It's like, oh, mob dude. Kind of like, just do that instead. I don't know. I don't know if that's better. It's better than fucking Arrivederci shit. It's a better racist idea.

Look, if they're going to go for it, go for it. And they're going for it. That's all I'm saying. Also, let me ask. Nobody would have a problem with that. Yeah. If you did like... Oh, I owe me ball.

Pay Michael Imperioli $30,000 and he'll come do it. And then he's just like, oh, Chrissy. With his like eyebrow he'll never sort out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? Why is it always hard? Fix it. Fix it. Pluck Fix it! Fix it

Pluck it Pluck it Do whatever I mean you can even get What's fucking crazy What always This is a real sidetrack What always made me laugh about

Michael Imperioli Because he's got the eyebrow Yeah You could tell when he was doing an interview And they mirrored it for some reason Like what's on the other side Backwards Backwards

You could immediately notice that For whatever reason in the interview They're like oh just switch it I'm like that's It just looks better You can't get away with that Yeah You could've That's iconic It's in the interview. Just switch it. It just looks better. You could get away with that. That's iconic. It's like messing with somebody's part.

Yeah. Yep. It's all mixed up. He could have gotten the guy who played Vito to come in or whatever and do that. It would have been natural to get Pauly Walnuts, but he died. Maybe he died fighting for this commercial. Probably not, though. No, I don't think so.

Hopefully he died rich. He must have. He must have. Not must have. He should have. He should have. Not must have, though. There's any justice in this world.

He died rich. Well, there might be justice, and then he blew it all. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's fine. That's his fault. That's his justice. He had all the Sopranos stuff, but then also he did.

You guys remember, like, Stacker 2 and Y.J. Stinger and all that stuff? No. Yeah. It's all like. What you just said to me. It was like a weight loss. IJ Stinger and all that stuff? No. It's all like. What you just said to me. It was like weight loss. I thought you were going to say Y2K. Weight loss supplement stuff.

It was essentially like in like the early 2000s, it was just like speed, like legal speed. Basically, yeah. And he was. Before they cracked down on him. Oh, nice. Hell yeah. I need to take my supplement. Yeah, don't forget about your supplement.

You're going to get big and red. He starred in a bunch of those commercials, so you know he got royalties for that. You guys making money. SAG-AFTRA. Well, so you know he got royalties for that. Guy's making money. SAG-AFTRA. Well, he was. Oh, no. Dead now. Arrivederci. We have a drive-thru, you know. And that also just makes them seem stupid. Yeah. Which is another...

Maybe the most offensive part. Yeah, which is another offensive stereotype that they might accidentally be leaning into. No, it's on purpose. It's weird science. We've miraculously cut to the haiku now. What are you talking about? Yeah. Oh, let's go to the haiku. Let's go to the meatball.

Jordan's ready to do his haiku. Michael's deleting his sandwich. There's two sandwiches. There's two sandwiches. Okay. Fast food wiener. Also, where I get meatballs. An insane person. The first two lines were quotes.

Got it. This is what an insane person is saying. Gotcha. Fast food meatballs, man. I can't. A Fazoli's would dare to. That's exactly what I was going to say, though. Is that more outrageous than a Fazoli's would dare to. That's exactly what I was going to say, though. Is that more outrageous than a Fazoli's?

But here's the thing. Jersey Mike's, Subway, like sandwich places, fine with it. There's something about. You want me to blow your nips off right now? Jersey Mike's, they don't do it anymore. They don't do the meatball? Haven't for a while. It's the ex's favorite.

What? Yeah, I know. They haven't done it in like two years. That's fucked up. It is fucked up. That's crazy. What the fuck is your sub shop? Dude. Give, I know. They haven't done it in like two years. That's fucked up. It is fucked up. That's crazy. What the fuck is your sub shop? Dude.

Give me a goddamn meatball. Wiener's just pissed. Wiener's just still took all of Mike's fucking meatballs. Give Mike his balls back. Grab him by the schnitzel and take your balls. The Wiener took Mike's balls? Oh, no. You know what Jersey Mike's has to do first?

By the way, he's on a fucking throw. Dude, he's got two guns. He's dual wielding. What Jersey Mike's has to do in retribution? Take the wiener. Yep. They take the balls, we take the wiener. They take a hot dog, but they sell it on Subreddit.

Yeah, hell yeah. It doesn't fit. It's one little hot dog. All their commercials are making fun of wiener schnitzels' dumb ideas. They put's one little hot dog. All their commercials are making fun of Wiener Schitzel's dumb ideas. They put meatballs on a hot dog bun. Look at this dumb shit we did. They call it the Wiener Schitzel sandwich.

That's the thing. Doing meatballs at a hot dog place is weird. It's just weird. At a butcher shop where they also do sausages and all this stuff, of course, it's all these meats. This is specifically a hot dog place. Are they- Will you enter that realm of a whole other food? Are they trying to tout themselves as a deli

place instead? We'll get into that later. I mean, what they were touting were meatballs and Froot Loops. Yeah. Right, yeah. We got half of that. I went to the hot dog place and they had meatballs and Froot Loops. I like it. Pretty crazy.

Insane. Let's get into these facts and learn about Wiener Schnitzel. Again. Yep. There's always more to learn. Our previous Wiener Schnitzel episode was released May 12th, 2020. That was a long fucking time ago. Yep.

Damn. Where we ate the Wiener Schnitzel World world of wieners it receives an average score 44 terrible yeah and that's probably higher than i would give it today well that's not that's not inflation adjusted yeah i'd bury that yeah i just remember it was three different kinds of hot dogs none of them very good i think i think uh i think maybe i was going to bat for it a little bit i knew it was bad but i was just was just like, no, it's fine. It's okay. You were a different person in May of 2020. I think you guys scored it right around the same. I think you would resign yourself

to just whatever. These are hot dogs. No one else sells a hot dog. It was. Yeah. And I remember that I couldn't believe it though. No one else sells hot dogs. This is so easy for you.

Well, there's a reason. How'd you fuck it up? Because this is the best you can do. Yeah. I would argue, in my honest opinion, those hot dogs we ate, I would take a fucking 7-Eleven hot dog over that. I could see that. Probably, yeah. Get the big bite.

That is a better hot dog to me than the crap they were trying to force me to eat while I was screaming about Jordan. It's true. I think it was on the way there, actually. Fact number two. When John Gilardi opened Wienerschnitzel in 1961, he was working at Taco Bell and got the idea for the name Wienerschnitzel at a dinner party hosted by the owner of Taco Bell. What the fuck? He wasn't attending the dinner party. Wait, what?

But he was squatting in a bush, stealing ideas from party goers outside a window in a very normal way. It's a very regular thing that normal people do. Regular, normal guy, John Ghilardi. Yeah, he's a regular man, a normal man. He's a regular, completely sane man. He's a human man doing normal stuff. Normal for Eric. Yeah, he's going to the owner stuff. He's going to the owner of Taco

Bell's house and stealing ideas. By hanging out in the bush outside an open window. Because they used to leave the windows open back in the 60s. Follow up. The original name that John Ghilardi came up with was John's Hot Dogs. This guy's a fucking dipshit.

Can you believe... I'm thinking about owning a hot dog place. What do you want to call it? Oh, I got, I see the now close my eyes. You see the name and lights, big,

bright lights. You're driving down the highway and you see it. John's hot dog. His not as a place to get a meatball sandwich. Now there's a place to get a meatball sandwich Fro-loops Fro-loops I want them on the sandwich And on the rocks

So he was at this Taco Bell party thing When it's He was attending the party And that's where the name came from He pitched the name at the party That's a peeping Tom right Yes He pitched the name at the party he's like i want to open a

hot dog place and call it john's hot dogs and his wife and his wife went no you should name it something else you should call it wiener schnitzel having the name come from the party is the most bullshit part of the whole thing. His wife just came up with it, and it is a huge runaround to, like, not give her credit. Incredible. Yes! Wait, so they just, let me, let me. So they were at this party.

Not the idea at a dinner party. Hosted party. Okay, see, the way it's phrased makes it kind of sound like the Taco Bell guy. Or the Taco Bell people. Yes. Like, he's in with these people. Rubbing elbows. Yep. And instead Like he's in with these people. Rubbing elbows. Yep.

And instead, he's just after the party and he went, I want to open a hot dog place to call it John's Hot Dogs. And his wife went, no, call it Wiener Schnitzel. And you know why he changed? Someone from the party. Yeah, someone who was there. Oh, the party that was at the owner of Taco Bell. Wow.

You know why he doesn't give her credit? Because he was upstaged. Yep. Oh, absolutely. Isn't that why George Lucas did all the... 1961. Oh, man. Writing's on the wall there. Did you see the big, the recent

Am I the Asshole? debate that was like this guy who he's a manager at a fast food restaurant and he went to a party with his wife's co-workers and she introduced him and said what he does and he went to a party with his wife's co-workers and she uh introduced him and said what he does and he took offense to it because he's also an avid flight simulator hobbyist and he likes to think of himself as having more expertise in planes and uh flying them than even a pilot

would this guy's an idiot. So he got mad at his wife. So what did she introduce him as? This is my husband. He works as a manager for a fast food company. Okay, so his real job. Right. And he was like, his hobby, his thesis is, would it kill her to introduce me as...

Pretend like I don't have that job to introduce me as somebody who's maybe also very good at flight simulators true what and an avid air hobbyist yeah that man that man's insane that i mean if that's on reddit then we need slime county to weigh in and let us know how do you feel about it yeah cock sucking expert slime county can let us know if that guy's the asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flare it up so you know it's official. This guy's not getting his cocksucked, I can tell you that much.

I just went back to the post and I'm going, what the fuck? Why are people mentioning me in this podcast? On this Reddit post, Slime County, and now it says Slime County cocks cock sucking it's so fucking good so let us know if that guy's the asshole slime county thank you he is yeah right but i gotta

get it's not even like like it depends how he goes about it if he becomes like irate he's an asshole okay then he's an asshole if he wasn't belligerent it's just weird yes yeah it's bizarre no matter what it's weird it's not normal yeah i that's that's like a thing that someone does and you go stop yeah like this is my son he loves dnd yeah beat him up put him in the swirly machine get him no stop and he's going tell him about my simulation i've run the programs i you saw me man john dorisit. I run it twice. I love playing racing simulators. I do not insist on being introduced as an F1 driver. No, no, no.

I mean, you have a separate social media for that. That's true. Hey, isn't that why- Follow at Sports O'Clock. Can I tell you for the longest time, forever ago, I went, I don't know if this is him or not. I just- Honestly, it's kind of the point.

No, I kind of understand it. It's so just about this thing. I'm going, is this Jordan? I just, I think kind of the point. No, I can understand it. It's so just about this thing. I'm going, is this Jordan? I just, I think his face is there. It just doesn't make any sense. It's all he's talking about is little cards. Zip, zip. Hey, and sometimes soccer.

Sometimes, yeah. Anyway, all right, let's keep learning. Let's keep learning about the next learned. In an interview in 2015, J.R. Gillardy, son of John Gillardy, said that most of Wienerschnitzel's customers were in their 40s, but he hoped a younger generation would discover the chain based on nostalgia. When asking current Gen Z former intern Kat if she liked Wienerschnitzel, she simply said, ew, and told me about a vine meme

from del taco well i got that go ahead free shivaka news but free shivaka dues come on down to del taco they got free shivaka do in 2014 california team said he found a corroded razor blade in his chili cheese fries. This is shocking. This is shocking to say the least. And unfortunately, when we got our order, all we received was wiener schnitzel. Better luck next time. I feel like you glossed over the free shavacadoos.

I just I can feel some people panicking and I wanted to give them a ladder. I like the fact that, twofold with that one. Not only are most Wienerschnitzel customers in their 40s, much like this podcast, skewing older. The hilarious part is hoping that people will come back due to nostalgia. I don't know what that means. I have just, at the top of this podcast, I explained the nostalgia I have for Wienerschnitzel. Me too.

I have been there as many times as Michael in the last 10 years. Exactly. But also, even you, like, you're a millennial. How can you have nostalgia if you're Gen Z and never been there? What the fuck does that even mean? It doesn't make any sense.

What are you talking about? Young people that have nostalgia for something they've never done. if you're Gen Z and never been there. What the fuck does that even mean? Doesn't even make any sense. That makes no fucking sense. What are you talking about? Young people that have nostalgia for something they've never done. Young people who have never been here before want hot dogs? Remember when your mom made hot dogs and you never came here?

No, don't call your mom. Come here now. What are you talking about? Remember Froot Loops, guys? JR, you son of a bitch. You didn't fall far from the Goularty tree, did you? No, not at all. Yeah, nostalgia.

Nostalgia for what? What are you talking about? Do you know what that word means? Yeah, no. Absolutely not. I've heard other people say it. Honestly, if my mom says it, I took it from her. Just like that.

Yeah, I was going to say, we should ask JR's wife what her views are. Maybe she's got a good idea. Oh, man. She can write the show. I kept saying, don't sell meatballs, sell hot dogs. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Talking with Kat and just saying, like, yeah, we're doing wiener schnitzel.

Have you ever eaten a wiener schnitzel? Like, a wiener schnitzel? And she just, no, ew. What? Ew. And it was like, okay, cool. Did she ever heard the word wiener schnitzel? I was going to say, like, even if she doesn't know what a schnitzel is cool did you ever heard the word i was gonna say like even if she

doesn't know what a schnitzel is because you probably still say ew you're at schnitzel ew what is that boogers she could probably not even know that it's a restaurant and just hear the word wiener schnitzel i'm sure that's what happened exactly oh that it was it was a lot of conversation of like what are the what and we're like oh we're eating meatball subs from wiener schchnitzel. I do love how it pivots to, have you seen this vine? And then it was, yeah, free Chewbacca news. And that was really, uh.

I forgot about that. Back in the day. Yeah. So anyway, let's get some nostalgia going for Wienerschnitzel, a place I ate with my dad at. Or never went to. And then never go to now. Correct. Did that on purpose.

Nice. Good one. Um. We. I'm sorry. I just want to pop. Correct. Did that on purpose. Nice. Good one. We ate there. I just want to pop back in. You did a full on, before you could start talking. You were so befuddled. Well, I can't.

What are you saying? He's been tripped. No, Wienerschnitzel tripped him up is what I'm saying. Here's the thing. I did this yesterday and for a full day now, I've been thinking about like nostalgia. How do you have nostalgia? How do you have nostalgia? How do you have nostalgia

for something you were never you'd never get the thing but you should have nostalgia for it to come back. Take it from Face Jam. Going after the older audience. Yeah. It doesn't work.

Yeah, you shouldn't. You just don't do it. Don't. Fruit Loops. Then advertise Fruit Loops. Dude, don't advertise the people in the vest but you know what gen z that that is targeted at boomers i'll tell you that you know what texan gen z's love

meatball sandwiches you can't get enough of them dude hey put some lemons on it well eggs now yeah yeah what am i made of, honey? Eggs is new lemons. Eggs is lemons now. Eggs is lemons gold. Yeah, yeah. Eggs is lemons gold. Like, lemons is still lemons, but eggs is lemons gold. Yep. But lemons don't cost an arm and a leg right now.

No, but the demand is still there and forever will be. But eggs? Eggs is lemons gold. Eggs is the cost of, like, several lemons. Yeah. Someone told me that recently, and it blew me away. Not only can I not argue with that, I can't comprehend it. Yeah. Eggs, man. Eggs is lemons, I can't comprehend it Yeah, eggs man

Eggs and lemons? What do you mean? Eggs and gas We gotta start putting I did that on eggs Oh eggs, yeah, smack them on the Freezer door Eggs and gas, lemons Gas is wild

It changes so wildly Day to day. By dollars. It's like, back up to four. $2.50! Here we go! You'll pay anything, dipshit! I sure will. There you go. And that's all, uh...

That's everything about Wienerschnitzel. Those are the facts. Fact is, I don't know why this place exists. I don't know how it's hanging on is there is there a place at least in texas so where you grew up with wiener schnitzel was there also just one or was it no there were there were multiple ones yeah there were like i was telling i was telling eric and nick that like i was wondering if you could even go inside this one because there are certain ones in where i grew up that were just drive-thru only. That's crazy.

I've never heard of a restaurant like that. It was the little like steepled top and you could only drive through. Yeah. But they were everywhere. I think they're only in. You can't go in? No, no, no.

You can't go in like Sonic. Right, right. I got it. Yeah, yeah. It's like Sonic, but more rules. Like Sonic, you can't go in. It's like Sonic, but- But worse.

But you can't. You can't go inside and It's like Sonic, but worse. But you can't. You can't go inside and sit down. Does Sonic do it like AMC now? Where they go, if you pay two more dollars, you can come inside. You can come inside. It's a premium seat. Is that a premium seat?

The premium seat is standing behind the guy who's grilling your burger. No, that's standard seat. That's true. Premium is a recliner. Still behind the guy, but it's a recliner yeah they give you they give you free fries while you wait put your feet up and watch this man cook your footlong coney uh i think that you make a great point jordan i don't know how this place

stays in business they're only in 10 states and no way there's some other stuff that we'll get to in the press material or whatever they kind of they're talking to like what they're doing they got to be biggest in california i think so they kind of, they're talking to like what they're doing. They gotta be biggest in California, right? I think so. I think they are. That's gotta be what's like. I think that's where they're from. Like how California also lifting up the rest of this godforsaken country. They are keeping Wienerschnitzel

afloat as well. There's people, there's people listening to this who heard you say that who are fucking flipped. That's awesome. Let me ask you, who's pulling whose strings? Wiener schnitzel or Newsome? Oh, hey. Who's keeping who afloat?

I'll tell you this much. Symbiotic relationship. I'm just saying, I'm just saying. They're all in on it. A little suspicious how he sailed through that recall. Yep, yep. Think about it. Big Wiener on his back.

Big Wiener schnitzel bucks. Yeah, weird how if you play the commercials in reverse it's all like pro gavin newsom stuff yeah wow if you watch that racist italian commercial yep it's pro newsom it it has to be that way yeah because it'll only make sense in reverse yep with those sounds so think about it that's just an unfortunate side in reverse it's just normal people going look gavin newsom sucks yeah we gotta get we gotta vote him out we got in the recall it's weird it's i don't think they knew that was i think two years ago it got held up because of covid yeah they're like not really on the ball yeah it's like this is 2021 yeah yeah yeah he won it's wiener schnitzel it

is what it is you know do you win a recall or do you not lose i think yeah well no he didn't avoid it you sidestepped the you you dodge a bullet yeah definitely didn't avoid the recall and uh the polls are closed gavin newsom has dodged a bullet tonight but if you lose it's called not getting uh if you if you do get recalled you get schwarzenegger i do remember or gray davis yeah i do remember, though. Or Gray Davis. Yeah, Gray Davis. I do remember the results came in, and it was like, well, that's a waste of time and money. Yes.

Yes, it was. And it's ridiculously underwhelming. It all came from one mad person. It's like all Huntington Beach and, like, North Orange County. South Orange County. Yep. That's where you grew up? No.

I grew up south of there. And he grew up north of there. I grew up east of there. You did up north of there I grew up east of there you did grow up east of Orange County you were just east of Orange County where'd you grow up? just a little east of Orange County I watched the OC though

it's true hey welcome to Orange County bitch everyone there were like everyone there just went we gotta kill her yeah this woman is insane you can't be on the show anymore

we're killing you you're done what an insane twist. Okay, goodbye. That was not intended in any way, shape, or form to go, hey, you know the two main love interests? Let's just kill her. That should be one.

Drown her. We don't want to work with her anymore. Okay, bye-bye. As like a preteen watching that show and seeing that happen, I'd be like, what the fuck? Could shows be bad what the fuck it's all this is that wasn't breaking bad it wasn't like oh another one it was yeah it was like that's the whole plot of the show what she's one of the two main characters going on

yep ryan no i love that guy poor ryan that guy is ryan couldn't catch a break in that show i think in that show that character is like from chico he is yeah he's like he's so funny and he's like the problem he's from a rough neighborhood he's from humboldt county uh that's cool i don't know any of what you're saying but people out there get it and that's cool yeah what's the uh what's the dad's name with the killer fucking eyebrows sandy yes yeah but yeah the actor uh the actor's name what is the i don't remember. Peter? Benicio Del Toro Light. Is it a Peter?

Something like that? I think it is a Peter. There might be a Peter. He was also in Mr. Deeds. Yeah, his eyeball. I don't know about his eyeball. His eyebrows are fucking. Those eyebrows, man.

Yeah. Anyway. Probably a great show that holds up. And nothing wrong with it. Yeah, if you're listening to this, pause it real quick. California, here we come. What you say? Right back where we started from.

Peter Gallagher. Oh, yeah. It was a Peter. Way to go. That show, very funny. He was like a heartthrob guy, wasn't he, back in the day? Like fucking Orson from Desperate Housewives. You've lost me.

Yeah. Desperate Housewives, Orson, original Dune. Oh, really? Oh, really? you've lost me yeah that's what housewives orson original dune oh really oh really is that great great uh computer special effects that hold up wait is that is that the guy from uh twin peaks could be i think so that it must have been his name was orson or well no in desperate housewives right right right yeah yeah there's a character he's second husband yeah is he the guy with the five o'clock shadow it's okay yeah it's yeah exactly who you think it is okay it's oh that dude yeah yeah orson yeah twin twin peaks blue velvet i think it was a dentist oh his name's orson i like that you knew him from original dune that's funny i wouldn't have that's not the poll

that i have for that guy. No, because it's, what a cool, like, look at him. Yeah. Look who you were just looking at. Yeah. And it's, well, especially because now,

because it's like Timothee Chalamet. Yeah. It's like, he's so sexy. Whatever. And he is. And it's just like, I mean, that guy was good looking

for back, was good looking and, you know, I would look like shit. Nobody cared. You know what I mean? Where it's just like, wow, you're not fucking ugly.

You look great. You can be a star. Yeah. I talked to our friend Gus about this.son is dune they they don't put on desperate housewives they don't put ugly people in movies anymore and at the time you could and you could and then you could have the handsome guy and go that's the star and you can clearly see steve buscemi would never work no if he was breaking into hollywood today. He got his foot in the door. What was

ripped hot? It was like, what's the vampire movie? Interview with a Vampire? One of the kids with the fucking... Lost Boys. Lost Boys. They were all like...

They just looked cool. It's just like young, like 20 year old dudes with their shirts off. Kiefer Sutherland. Long hair. And that was like, it's the hottest guy I've ever seen in my life.

It was a gold standard back then. Ralph Macchio. And everyone going, without exaggeration, that's dad bod now. People go, check out this dad bod. What are you fucking,

I'll kill you. You don't even have to go back that far. Shut the fuck up. Go back, watch the first Iron Man movie. Robert Downey Jr. is the Wolverine

yep they are like I was just watching Simply Men I was just watching I was watching GoldenEye and Pierce Brosnan is

at the very least he's thin and hairy and that's all you need to be he has no like muscle definition but like he's handsome hairy chest

James Bond was always a little like chest can be flat chested. They're red pecs but that's it. Yeah but if you think if you compare Pierce Brosnan in Goldeneye

to Daniel Craig and Christina Royale the difference is stark. Huge. Humans are not allowed to be humans. Yep. And that wasn't even on tonal.

So they probably got a lot of little muscle tears and stuff. The shoulders man they're bad. I've been playing Goldene even on tonal. So they probably got a lot of little muscle tears. The shoulders, man, they're bad. I've been playing GoldenEye on the Switch. It's very hard to control that game. Well, that's more accurate, right? Is it still one stick? Yeah, it controls with one.

Well, you can use the right stick to do the C buttons. Yeah. So it's kind of like looking around, but not really. Not really. You don't really touch that. With the Xbox version, they went two sticks. Yeah, that'd be great. They went slightly different for some reason.

That would be great if they had that. If they decided to just do a trick port for this one. We tried to play multiplayer, and it is... Well, that's it. The Xbox doesn't have multiplayer. It's fucking stupid. It's like Pokemon version. It makes no sense.

I will tell you this. I will take the Xbox version and good controls over multiplayer. Let's do it and just sit next to each other and pretend. So if they have

there's no online play on the Xbox version. This is Face Jam by the way. Yeah. Because Nintendo said you can do this

but only if there's no online multiplayer. We've gone like two layers in. But hey let's climb a couple layers up and learn about the food.

Alright hold on. Alright I made it. Alright cool. Like 006. Whoa. For up and learn about the food. All right, hold on. All right, I made it. All right, cool. Like 006. Whoa. For England, James? At the end. Half of everything is luck.

And the other half? Mm-hmm. Wiener schnitzel. Little did I know that was my introduction to the bad guy, dead guy, Sean Bean. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Little did I know. Dude, he died twice in that movie.

As a small child, I go, I'll be seeing you die a lot in my life soon. And he comes out strong in the first one. Two deaths. Yep. Yeah, he does. Way to go. All right. Wiener schnitzel meatball sandwich. Three juicy meatballs in a fresh steamed bun topped with marinara sauce and melted Swiss cheese.

Steamed bun. So here's the thing. Does not sound appetizing. There are two versions of this sandwich. It is this one and the pretzel bun. The descriptions were the same. Okay. Okay.

Hold on. Let me read the one for the pretzel bun, the descriptions were the same. Okay. Okay. Hold on. Let me read the one for the pretzel bun. Okay. Three juicy meatballs in a fresh steamed bun topped with marinara sauce and melted Swiss cheese. And that was it. Okay. The Swiss cheese.

Do you think they steamed the pretzel one? I don't know. I couldn't tell. Don't think they did. The Swiss cheese was very melty. So melty that it was like slopping out the back and bottom. Mine was a fucking mess. It was eating through the cardboard. It was interestingly

like I feel by design on the bottom not on the meatballs. It was on the bottom of the meatballs. So it's like take the bun and they almost slathered the cheese I would say in like the crease of the bun and then slapped the meatballs on top of it. So it's in there but in any sort of meatball sandwich,

generally you throw the cheese on top. In the images, the promotional images in the racist commercial, they... They show it. I want some Italians to wait. We need an Italian team. A community team

of Italians. From Italy only. Yeah. I only want people who listen to this show from Italy. If you live in Vermont and you're Italian-American,

that's cool. We're looking for Italians. Or if you're first born, you can ask your parents. There you go. Okay. Ask Nana. See what she says.

Is that what you call your mother? No, I was going further back. Right. I just asked your parents. I don't know why you went Nana. That's why I was confused. Yeah, I was going further back. Right. I just asked your parents. I don't know why you went Nona. That's why I was confused. Yeah, because I went further back because his parents,

probably from here. Grandparents? Well, that's why I said if you're firstborn because then that means they're not. I kind of established that at the beginning. Are you doing a thing with your hands right now? Nope. Press material.

With simple operations, low food costs, thing with your hands right now. Nope. Press material. With simple operations, low food costs, and a unique menu. We just slopped this cheap shit out, guys. Yeah, let me settle in here real quick. Hold on. Okay.

With simple operations, low food costs, and a unique menu that doesn't compete in the burger, chicken, tacos, or pizza segments. Wienerschnitzel has proven to be a profitable franchise investment that continues to lead the industry in helping entrepreneur open successful restaurants, said Ted Milburn, director of franchise development from Wienerschnitzel. The new hot dogs for profits incentive program significantly lowers the cost of entry for

prospective franchisees eager to turn hot dogs into financial gains. What about meatball sandwiches? Hot dogs for profits incentive program. I mean, that's what Wienerschnitzel is. Hot dogs for profit. It's a business. Yeah. Also, if you need a hot dog.

Would you like to be a part of our hot dog for profit incentive program? No, I want to lose money on hot dogs. Here's how it works. You buy our hot dogs. We make money. So there was no press release for the meatball sub, but this was the most recent, which was just a few days before. I'll tell you this. If you need a hot dogs for profits incentive program,

I'm not so sure the first part of this statement's true. No, and you know what's crazy to me? Is they say a unique menu that doesn't compete with the burger, chicken, tacos, or pizza segments, but this is not hot dogs. Right, yeah. So you are competing with sandwiches? Is that who they see their competition as?

It must be. Does Wienerschnitzel think hot competing with sandwiches? Is that who they see their competition as? It must be. Does Wienerschnitzel think hot dogs are sandwiches? They shit their pants every time that debate comes up. Leave us out of it. They steer clear. We're not a sandwich. Here's the thing. We don't compete.

Guys, if you take out all the food, we're winning. If you take out every other food, think about it. We dominate everything that isn't pizza burgers tacos pasta chicken grain pasta rice okay people saying oh is a hot dog a taco or whatever the fuck that's tired i don't give a fuck about that yeah does we know does wienerschnitzel think that a meatball sandwich is a hot dog? Like a variant? Is that what they think?

I'll tell you one thing. This hot dog is not for profit. I don't know. But, I mean, look, there's no—they didn't mince any words. It's just three meatballs in a bun. Yes. You know what I mean? It's not like a hot dog meatball.

It's not. They just went, this is a meatball sandwich. What I was going to say is that all of the images that they put out, they don't really show the bun. Your brain fills in the gap and be like, it's bread. And then you see it and go, it's literally a hot dog

bun. They just took a hot dog bun. You heard the speech, right? But they literally did it. Every time I told people that this is what we were eating this week, everyone went, oh, they do meatball sandwiches there?

I don't know. And I go, well, I think they put meatballs on a hot dog bun. And they go, yeah, I think they probably do that. Yeah, that makes sense. It was everyone immediately going, didn't connect the dot.

The dots quickly connected. It suddenly seems so easy. You steal the meatballs from Jersey Mike's and you put them in the buns you already have. Yeah, they do. It's also even, they just go out of their way for some reason not to make the classic meatball parm. Which is generally

what it's going to be. They can only get their sauce. Well, that's also, I feel like, probably, again, the same thing. They probably don't have Parmesan cheese. I would think not. And they're just like, fuck that. We're going to use hot dog buns

and Swiss cheese. Eat my ass. We bought the meatballs. That's all you're getting. This is what... You know what I mean? You're lucky you're getting cheese. That's generally what...

A meatball sandwich is four things, right? It's the bread, the meatball, the sauce, and the Parmesan. Yep. That's all you need. Yeah. And they have one of those things. I mean, they're not calling it

a parmesan, but I feel like they're not calling it that because they can't, but they would love to. They also don't call it a sub. Right. They are very deliberate in calling it a sandwich. Right. Which is weird considering what they're putting on it. A sub and a sandwich are more similar than either is with a fucking hot dog bun.

So it's like, whoa, it's not a sub or a sandwich. That's way closer. This is food that I would have made at home in my 20s because that's all I had in the refrigerator. I was just like, wiener schnitzels are just like. That's why you have tortillas, right? Yes. It doesn't matter what you have left over. You can just throw it in there and wrap it up.

I went to a wrestling show this weekend and one of the wrestlers came out afterward. He's like, I got paid, and it's a hot dog. Hell yeah, dude. Was it a meatball or something? It was a hot dog, but there were no hot dog buns left. So he just had two and a tortilla. It was eating them. And I went, is that worth it?

And he went, yeah. He really can do that what were you doing else was that the show was like wrestling in a pool or something oh there was another

wrestling show at Valente Beach like it was a beach show just beach side wrestling yeah it's fucking crazy did you get wet no

no he was a jaycee I was thinking about splashing around I know I saw you say you were thinking about splashing around but then the water was a little bit too far

and I didn't want to walk and then also it was frozen also there was no it was hot it was like 70 it was yeah it got warm oh dude it was fucking crazy got warm and then which is weird also i had to be careful because there was glass all inside the sand because it was death match wrestling so there was a lot of light tubes getting blasted but you know safe yeah like prop prop light tubes right no you see these up above us? Yeah, the prop fluorescent lights.

Yeah, the prop fluorescent lights. Did they use any prop ballasts to pull those out? It's crazy. They break away so easily. Uh-huh. Well, here's the thing, guys. You don't got to worry, because they don't explode. They implode.

That's why it's fine. It looks awesome. Because they're pressurized. That's right. And they look so cool. I used to know things. It's so safe. That's the way to go.

So that's Wienerschnitzel that's the long and short of just this fucking weirdo we've been it's just a long yeah yeah we've been uh we've been i feel like we've been peppering in our thoughts on this so i'll keep the review of it short uh this is kind of an abomination to be honest i don't wienerschnitzel should not be doing this they have no business um they sure certainly have the audacity yep i mean they did it it's happened you you cannot unring this bell correct uh i wish i could um the pretzel one oddly stale not very tasty or fresh hot dog bun it's a hot dog bun i don't want to eat a sandwich on a hot dog bun like what my dad would

make for dinner when my mom was right right they need to find out and go what the fuck are you doing if they want to run if they want to appeal let me call me if they want to appeal to a younger audience fuck order pizza they need to they need to have a special where it's just we provide the bun you tell us what to put in it yeah we'll do whatever peanut butter good here you go man let's just do it whatever yeah fruit loops we got we got so much meatballs here you go um and it's it's just such a mess it's ugly to look at like i i didn't like it don't hold back i'm giving it a 30 okay michael absolutely. Uh-huh. I hated it. Clearly.

And now I, and honestly, I kind of hate Wienerschnitzel. Wow! There goes the nostalgia. There it goes. Sorry, JR. Sorry, your plan has backfired. Your Gen Z,

maybe nieces or nephews are going to hear about this. It is an abomination. Okay. Here's my problem with what Jordan said. When he said, don't do this, right? The other thing they do is hot dogs and they were terrible. Yeah.

That's my problem. The thing they're supposed to do was also bad. I've only had this twice. This was way better than the last time. Wow! Now, I understand wrapping your mind around meatballs being sold on a bun i'm not really trying to grapple with that yeah i'm just eating what's put in front of me okay it's obviously because they just don't want to buy bread yes or change anything but look again you

can't knock it when when uh when they just say with simple simple operations, low food costs, and a unique menu. AKA slapping on the shit we already have. Yeah, I'll tell you one thing that really comes across. Those core values come across. It absolutely comes across. They scrimped and saved. Yes, they did. That said, having a lack of, well, we scrimp and save and then he blows. That's the problem.

We scrimp and save and somehow don't get the money. It's hot dogs for losses. I have no idea how it works. We keep selling things and they sell out. Face Jam is hot dogs for losses. We're scrimping and saving. Face Jam is lemons. Their fries aren't bad.

It's lemons. It's free lemons. I don't understand it. Okay? Why is Face Jam free lemons? I want to be eggs, damn it. Face Jam is eggs from now on okay all right so that said these meatballs they were tasty also i like me a pretzel bun i had no problem with mine uh i fucking sucked it down in about 30 seconds that's when i took my

time with the other one i'm gonna be honest I'm gonna keep this short and sweet 92 This feels like This feels like early Face Jam No, no, Jordan This feels like I was settled on like an 85 And I had to make up for your Your absolute savage attack The hot dogs were terrible

These were good But you're comparing them to the hot dogs I'm comparing them to the other thing the restaurant has. Compare them to the food you're eating. The food I'm eating, by the way, I didn't come in and decide a score before I ate it. The food I'm eating was good food. And so I gave

it a good rating. Ah, and that's where we disagree. Average score of 61. Excellent. No! That's too high. I will say I will say to give you some backing a friend of mine, Christian, said

hey, I really want to try this. I said okay. So I gave him some of mine. He ate it. He just messaged me. That was everything I expected and I'd absolutely eat it again. I said what score would you give it? This is not in our... I don't even want to hear it. I and I'd absolutely eat it again. I said, what score would you give it? This is not in our... I don't even want to hear it. I said, I'd

give it a solid 88. Pretzel bun would have bumped it up more. I decided... Are you guys crazy? I was gonna give it an 86. This is not food for people. I was gonna give it an 86. And then I went, no, 88. And then he said 30. I went, fuck that. I'm going to the 90s. This is crazy. You pushed me into the 90s.

I'll be honest. It's not crazy. You're pushing me over the edge. That was a pretty tasty sandwich. Look, where's your nostalgia now? Where are you gone? Where's your God now? Guys, they've changed. Hit me balls now. Okay.

Let's get into a snack attack. This snack is from Madison in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Ooh, a Canadian. Really came a long way. They sent in limited edition Canada Day Smarties. Smarties in Canada. Yes.

The little chocolate ones. The little M&Ms. They are chocolates. Little chocolates. The little M&M's. They are chocolates. Little chocolates. The packaging is adorable. They love that little leaf. Smarties.ca They put that leaf on everything. They are Canada Day promotion Smarties. Canada is so cute. I'm gonna be honest. The leaf, I'm

fine with. I hate everything else. I hate Texas in the shape of itself. Nobody cares. Nobody gives a shit about the shape of Texas. Nobody cares. Yeah. Nobody gives a shit about the shape of Texas. Texas shaped things. Everybody, Florida, go fuck yourself. Your shithole is so humid. Whatever.

It's a swamp state. Stop. We don't care about the shape of things. The leaf, I'll let it slide because it's cute and delicious. It makes me think of syrup. Oh, yeah. I look at the shape of Texas and I go, oh, horrible policies. That's what I think when I see the shape of it.

I hate that I live here. The power goes out all the time. What a cool shape. I never got the shape of your state thing. Me neither. Because most states are just aligned. And we're from California. Who cares?

I'm all about that barrel. Hey, did you see that New Jersey squiggle? It's like a weird. New Jersey's a fucked up shape. The little zigzag. Uh-huh. And it's got like its toe in the water. Mm-hmm.

You know what I mean? It gets wet. It gets wet. Yeah. All right. Jersey just got out of the shower. So Smarties in Canada are like better M&M's. They're M&M's.

What's special about these? They're M&M's, but it's different chocolate. The color? Yeah. These are just Canada Day edition, so I would assume the flavor is Canadian. It kind of tastes like white chocolate. What we call Smarties in the U.S., they call Rockets. So, just so you know, just in case you wanted a fun fact.

Not confusing at all. That's a fun fact for Madison. I got some potential spam coming in. Oh, wow. Let's do it. Hell yeah. These are, I mean, they're Smarties, right? These aren't crazy.

Hello? Hi, is this Toman? No. Are you the owner of... No, I'm not. I'm sorry. Have a good day, sir. Okay, bye.

Bye-bye. Just bleep out that address. Yeah, can't use that. I'm glad I went in day okay bye bleep out that address I'm glad I went in on that nope dude watching you I was just like this is not how I would do it at all like just being like right right off the bat being like nope you have the wrong number

we need to end this right now and you just be like nope like uh like it was it was painful for me but I know right now and you'd just be like, nope. You're like, uh. Like, it was painful for me, but I know. I just answered her questions. I know, I know why you did it. I didn't want to get ahead of her. I wanted to let her talk. Right, you don't want to be presumptuous.

I'm not going to be rude. You're not going to be presumptuous. Sure. Don't be rude. She had questions, she called me. That definitely stays in. She should have been like, rule no this is Michael I'm Michael I thought about it I didn't know how long it would go because sometimes they go oh you're not the person we don't give a shit

we just were trying to sell you something then we could have got into it I feel like she actually had the wrong number do you have like an Austin area number okay I could see how this accident would happen then when i get a 512 number calling me i'm like this has got to be important because there's no reason because i still have an old area code from where i used to live and so if anyone with that area

code calls me it's like you got no business calling me just just so you know while you guys are talking about he wanted a little more yeah this. He can't get over here. We need to rate these, huh? He's so far away, dude. They're pretty good. And they have to go around tables. They're very chocolatey. Very chocolatey and they're like bigger than a regular M&M.

And the candy shell's thicker, which is a nice crunch. You're going to need a fucking drink, though. Yeah. I'm about to drink one right now. Because they are thick and not dry, but these. I'll give those an 86. Okay. These with a butt, that's almost what Michael gave it... I'll give those an 86. Okay. These with a butt, that's almost what Michael gave it.

I'll give it an 80. They're pretty good. They're good. It's an 83. That's fair. These are great with like a black cup of coffee, like something like kind of like strong and... What kind of coffee do you think? Kato's coffee, but that's just what I think.

I tell you one thing, I couldn't eat that whole package. I couldn't probably like an M&M sized package. That would probably be too much. We do have a couple of also. They sent a couple of regular. A couple of regular. Well, I mean, I'll take those home. Good throw.

What? There's only one more and he just claimed it. So, sorry, man. No, I'm taking the big one. I'm taking the big one. Hey, that's yours. Yeah, he's going to take the bag. Yeah, go nuts.

Okay. Thank you, Madison. That was a good snack. And we're always looking for more. So if you want to send snacks, you can. Send it to Face Jam. Care of Eric Bedore. 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas.

78723. Guess what? What? Butterfly fork and butterfly spoon. Oh, they're coming. Plus the monkey rug. I'm taking one today. I've been saying it for a month and a half.

They all release Thursday, March 2nd. Oh! And we'll be doing a special live stream, hopefully, on Thursday, March 2nd. Oh, come on. What? Why does it gotta be on Thursday?

Oh, goddammit. Talk to Matt. So, Thursday, March 2nd. You bastard. Is, uh, Thursday, March 2nd is when we're doing that. That's when Butterfly Fork, Butterfly Spoon, and Monkey Rug will all be available. We'll have images of those soon. You can follow images and more information on the stream.

When's Hat? Hat's sooner, right? At FaceJamPod at roosterteeth.com if you're listening to this now let me see this comes out on 14th

this comes out on Tuesday the 14th happy valentine's day oh um if this comes out on Tuesday the 14th the

not good monkey hat no not not to say that it isn't good it's good it says not on it the not good monkey hat. Not to say that it isn't good. It's good. It says not good. The hat's great. It says not good.

The rat and grackle shirt. Awesome. Gimme. The rat and grackle bottle opener, which is a magnetic bottle opener. Gimme that. It looks cool too.

It's a cool little tchotchke. That stuff all comes out on the 16th so if you're listening to this now you can get prepared you'll see some images and everything

get ready to get mad when is the monkey opening the rat and grackle pub we're working on it we're working on it you think so is it a pub or like a bistro

in my head I get pub vibes yeah it's like a midwest pub where it's like they got the food you guys keep saying midwest pub

I don't really know what that means so say you work at a factory it sounds like a hate after you no it's like they got the food, you got the drinks. You guys keep saying Midwest pub. I don't really know what that means. So say you work at a factory. It sounds like a hate. After you work on the assembly line for Mr. Ford. What he's saying right now is terrible. But it gets good. I don't want to work on the assembly line. Keep listening. Okay.

Hard day's work. I'm scared. I'm tired. Oh, you're tired? What could you use? Alcohol to drown my troubles away. Oh, do I have a place could you use? Alcohol to drown my troubles away. Oh, do I have a place for you? And other blue collar working class people to do it with. And that's why you go to the Rat and the Grackle. The Rat and Grackle.

That doesn't tell me at all what the restaurant is like. It is a. You just described the fact. I'm giving you alcohol. Like what you need. Yeah. It's. You filled that part in for yourself.

It's darker. It's a little tavern-y. There's some TVs on. Oh, descriptions. Thank you. There's some TVs on showing the St. Louis Cardinals game, but you don't live in the Missouri area, so it doesn't really make sense.

One TV is sports only and the other one. Yes. Yes. The other TV is showing something random. Yeah, there's a guy playing darts. Okay. Now, I was trying to be the audience. You came in a little bit to explain it there.

If you're still unfamiliar, this is my best crack at it. Okay. What's the rat and grackle? It's our Mystic Grill. Yes. You're a big Vampire Diaries fan. It's our Mystic Grill. Everything's happening at the rat and grackle.

Everything's happening there. People getting killed, getting turned into vampires and ghosts. Or just eating sandwiches. Maybe it's meatballs on a hot dog. Can there be pizza? Can it be mystic pizza? There can be pizza, but not in the same market as Wienerschnitzel.

Oh, right. Well, we don't compete. What did they even say? We don't compete. I like the terminology they used. They said segments. Segments, yeah. The burger, chicken, taco, or pizza segments.

You mean other restaurants? Yeah. So yeah, come on down to the Rat and Grackle. There might be some hunky, good-looking beefy boys here to watch out. Could be 150-year-old vampires. Could be. Or it just could be the monkey.

It might just be the monkey. You know what? Hey, just don't fuck with the sauce. There's a whole thing. You got to learn how to order the sauce. I feel like you come in and monkey's always there, like wiping the bar down. And he's, you know, he's in his mask. But every time somebody walks in, he just goes, hey!

Absolutely. Yeah, that's the rat and grackle. And then when you're going to get thrown out, execute it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the rat and grackle. And then when you're going to get thrown out, you know how there's these bougie places where they go, you can't fucking put shit on our food. You put ketchup on, we'll kill you. Or you say, can I have steak sauce? And they say, you want to die?

You want me to cut your head off? This is the opposite. If you put sauce on the table, you better fucking put it on your food. Or drink it or whatever. However you consume it is fine. You have to have the sauce. You better- Otherwise it's an insult and you look over and he's just there cleaning the glass. Put it in your Coors Banquet. Just looking and then you know what he does? You know what he does?

Now this is a clas- this is a classic pub. He points up to the Winchester hanging. He just points at it if you don't... I want this place to be real so bad. We gotta make it. We have to make it. Let's get van money and not sink it into a broken van. Well, then we would just get a dilapidated building that we have to put more money into. Let's get restaurant money and get a working restaurant.

Let's get a wienerschnitzel. Let's get restaurant money and get a working restaurant. We can get- Let's get a wiener schnitzel. Let's do hot dogs for profits, but then turn it into the rat and grackle. Rat and grackle, great name, great shirt. It's February 16th, the shirt, the hat, it all comes out. If you work at a bar, which if you're listening to this,

you probably do, get the shirt and take a picture of you at the bar. Show us what it would be like. It's a restaurant shirt, right? It's a diamond shirt. It's like a kitchen shirt. It's what we were talking about. I'm like, what is the uniform for the rat and grackle?

Like, what does the monkey make them wear? And Michael's like, not even just the servers, because they're probably wearing a nice apron or something. They're wearing this, but you barely see it. Yeah, exactly. Because they got the apron with the graphics. But the guys in the back making the $2.50 hamburgers, they're just wearing this and sweating through it.

They're all yellow and pit stained. That's why they're white. The look is fantastic. It's the only one they have. Yeah, it's really great. It comes out the 16th. Love it with the hat. I think they're calling it the devilish monkey hat.

I really like it. Love that it says not good. Why don't they want to call it the not good hat? Right. Dude, I was showing my wife. Call it the Torchy's ripoff hat. I really like it. Love that it says not good. Why don't they want to call it the not good hat? Right. Dude. I was showing my wife. Call it the Torchy's rip-off hat. They don't want to do that? That's what I'm saying. It looks exactly the same. The lost and waiting to happen hat.

Pull up a fucking picture of their logo and look at this hat. I'm so happy. I showed my wife the hat in the front and the back and she's like, oh, what's on the tag? The little tag on the back, listen to Face Jam on the, like the leather strap and then back. Listen to Face Jam. On the, like the leather strap. And then on the inside, another Face Jam logo. Yeah, just in case you ever bash your head and wake up with amnesia.

You'll be like, I don't know. Is my name Face Jam? Yep. Am I? Look inside your hat. Am I Face Jam? Am I a rat or a grass? This will get you down the right track.

Well, you can follow us at Face Jam Pod on Instagram and on Twitter. Send us your pictures of you in your Rat and Grackle shirt showing us what it would be like to work at the Rat and Grackle pub. And,

and, and, when the, I know this is early, but when, get ready, the butterfly fork and spoon come out,

I am, I'll say demanding. There's some, there's some real like mall ninjas out there that listen to this show that have to be amazing with butterfly knives. I want to see some sick

fork and spoon action. I want to see you freaking out and then eating cereal or something. That's it. I want to see whip, whip, whip. I don't want to put ideas in your head, but people that are good at it, and also people who are not good. Go ahead and fuck yourself up. That's fine. I'm not taking credit for it. You did it. I'm legitimately excited

to see if people who can play with a butterfly knife can do anything. Oh, it's going to be awesome. It's going to be so sick. Fucking eat an ice cream. So please send us that stuff too. That comes out on the 2nd,

March 2nd. Thursday, March 2nd we'll be doing a live stream. Start practicing butterfly knives now. Spittin' Silly will be out next week. You can email us at uh yeah no

no it's a bit well another spit and silly yeah are you serious yeah shit every every off week baby uh done nope face jam potter roosterteeth.com with your food conundrums uh

people are really weighing in on bows and cheese and uh never and carbonated bread people are really weighing in on this shit again and I know I know I like say this, I don't want to,

I don't want to like cause people to jump outside their, you know, their casual conversation. But some of these just subjects, again,

crazy shit. Like I flagged here one from William that says, my childhood snack is under scrutiny. And then something in parentheses,

I think it's saying food court. Uh-huh. Yeah. And then it goes on. But I like the severity. Yeah. People are. What's severe?

Some people just say, hey, whatever. Other people go, please, I need help. Yeah. People are desperate for our advice. Doc says, my royal bug kings, there's a conflict about my dot, dot, dot. Oh, baby. This is so hard to be kings. The pleas of the people never stop.

You want to help everyone. Heavy is the head. Facejampod at roosterteeth.com. The powdered wig. All right. Jordan, take us out. This was a long one. Yeah, it's on the other side.

With simple operations, low food costs, and unique menu that doesn't compete with other podcasts. Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about this show where we eat food and rate the food. Bye-bye. This one says, my friend Dr. Ryan likes to buy two boxes of mac and cheese. That's, what a weird, what a weird thing to say. He then puts the two packets of cheese powder on one box's worth of mac and then tosses the rest of the unused mac.

Do you have any ideas so Dr. Ryan doesn't waste food? Thanks. Also, yes, I showed him you can just buy extra cheese powder, but he said no. Who's this from?

Jared. It's Jared! Jared. Jared runs CheapAssGamer and I know he's talking about my friend Ryan.

All right, we'll get after that in another food court. We'll hang on to that one. Alright, we'll get after that the next, another food court. We'll hang on to that one. Oh, shit.