100% Eat - YOU Picked BANNED FOOD for Episode 100! %% Jack in the Box Hot Mess Munchie Meal

Episode Date: April 7, 2026

It's episode 100 of 100% Eat and Our Heroes allowed YOU (through Patreon votes) to pick the food. Jack in the Box, the once BANNED restaurant, makes its return in episode 100 with the Hot Mess Meal, a whole pile of slop in a box. Why? Why did you do this? New beanie, new magnet, & NEW SHIRT this FRIDAY! https://100percenteat.store Also grab an autograph from Our Heroes https://streamily.com/100-percent-eat Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After 19 years, they're back. Frankie Munes, Brian Cranston, and the rest of the family reunite in Malcolm in the middle, life's still unfair. After 10 years avoiding them, Hal and lowest demand Malcolm be at their anniversary party, pulling him straight back into their chaos. Malcolm in the middle, life's still unfair. A special four-part event, streaming April 10th on Hulu on Disney Plus. Welcome to 100% each show where we try every fast food restaurant to let us. You know if you need it, you probably do.

I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host. Jordan Swears, Jordan, how are you? Am I inside the jack in the box again? It's sensory overload. Episode 100! That's why we went out of the driveway with a bang. Episode 100! We made it.

We made it despite the odds, despite Nick's car trying to stop us. Also, we celebrated it. All obstacles have been avoided. Are not in our way anymore. Despite the odds of Eric going, should we do anything for the 100? And then we all just kind of like didn't answer. Yeah.

Oh, you asked that? We did it. Yeah. He did. It was like last week. I can't remember if I replied or not. No. I thought.

I think it was, I think it was certain going, I don't think so. I looked at it went. I had one idea, but it was like way too much work. Too much work. And too last minute. That was the perfect amount of work. Yeah.

Plus, we have the anniversary coming up. So if we're gonna do something cool, let's do something on the anniversary. I like that. But I wanted to bring it. We don't have so much energy. Still thinking about Taz. For episode 100 of 100% eat,

I wanted to bring back the old theme song Loudstyle. Nick hates it. That's fine. You should have told Nick because he played the wrong one. Yeah, I would have done it for you. And then he was yelling.

Yeah. No. And then I was. I was. Back in the Jack in the Box? You were back in the box. You were back in Eric growing up. You were back in Eric growing up.

You were back. I'll never be like Kyle There's one moment where Nick realized at the jack of the box He was like I just shut down Yeah, I just realized that there's too much going on And I just like zoned out Yeah, yeah, we mentioned it in the ride-along That was nuts in there

It was it was it wasn't crowded But it was a lot going on It was so loud And spiritually it was packed So many different sounds Yeah and all of them were like piercing They were all like high beeps Yeah and they were

increasing in like tone and loudness. There were all different kinds of beeps at different paces and loud volumes. They all meant something else but to me it just seemed like the problem was getting worse. Yeah. It was really oh thank you very much. It was very loud and very

it was good environmental storytelling. It was the story was get me out of here. Michael what did we eat today? The fans voted on. They did. Jack in the Box. Hot Mess meal. Yep. For episode 100. What a hot mess meal it was. The audience

picked this and I have to say it was so fucked that even Nick was mad at it. What's interesting too is that I see a lot of the discourse pop up on Discord when there's a vote of people being like I don't want to punish them so I'm just going to

pick the thing that looks best. This is what looked best. It was overwhelming too. This was the best option? That wasn't the mindset for sure. It was definitely like punish them. This looks fucking like disgusting. They have to try this.

If you aren't a bug on the Patreon or anything, if you're not aware of this, we do occasionally on Patreon allow you, if you're a subscriber, vote on where we're going to eat for an upcoming episode. So we said, here are options. What should we eat? And this is what you landed on.

Here's the thing. The other options from last place to first place. Okay. What did Nick vote? I can't believe. Wow, the first time. I think I voted for this. Last place.

Last place. 11%. Burger King. Yeah. Maple Bourbon barbecue Whopper. It could be the best thing at Burger King and it will still be terrible. But that's, but what I'm saying is that the audience not voting for Burger King is really like, that's how fuck this other stuff was. So there's that.

13% Carl's Jr. Western bacon chicken sandwich. I just don't care for Carl's Jr. 27% Jimmy John's Greek Euro. They have a new brownie. That just seems perfectly like inoffensive. Yep. And at 49%. Jeez Louise.

This, the Jack in the Box hot mess meal. Wow. I posted this. This is March 24th. Uh-huh. I'll read this real quick. And this is how I, this is the general consensus. Now granted, this is just one man.

Yeah. This was a comment on the poll from Nick Tucker. Was this the breakdown? Yeah. Okay. My thought process on this is as follows. Carl's Jr. Feels a little too easy.

The first Carl's Jr. episode was the spicy Western bacon cheeseburger. I love listening to you guys dunk in their shit. I might even be curious if the chicken is good, but I doubt it. Pass. Burger King. Effectively the same logic of Carl's Jr. They have tried whoppers.

They hate it. I hate it. I don't need them to tell me it's bad. I already know it's bad. Burger King episodes always have a great narrative, but I worry that we're risking a Burger King blacklist with that fuck shit-looking wopper. And I don't know if that's that's... As the audience, this guy, you need to be careful.

This is like the smartest guy on it. It's good content. But you don't want to keep feeding it. Nick Tucker. You don't want to keep feeding it to us because then we'll get sick of it. Yeah. Smart. Jimmy Johns.

Love a Giro. Always want to know where to find a tasty Giro. I'm intrigued here. It does feel a little soon since the last Jimmy John's episode. But that's because I just caught up on a bunch of episodes, so I only listened to it a couple weeks ago. Also, my opinion doesn't matter here anyway. Aside from one vote. Why the fuck are you still reading this?

The logic isn't good and it's extremely personal. Stop spying on me. Pass. Jack in the box. Fuck, that shit looks terrible. Eat it. Go in the middle of the night with bed head and a Coke hangover.

Throw professionalism out the window. Jack in the box already did. That last line is so good. Way to go. I think I read that and then picked Jack in the box. That's like the best you review we've ever received.

I mean, it's a terrible you review because it's very good. He would never pick that. Bedhead and a Coke hangover is like, that's what this food's for. That's the only reason I'm like, what are we eating? I'm like, that's right.

I remember. I read that comment. We finished this and I think you said, Eric, imagine being drunk and eating this. Would this help at all? No, it would make me more mad. It's so mess. I was frustrated eating this thing.

How drunk? The food wouldn't help. Someone else is driving. Yeah. The food wouldn't help being drunk, but I think you would, you'd just accept it a little easier. Yeah.

Being drunk, you're like, put it in me. It's just the sloppiest burger. It was. So. I mean, it's in the name. It's slop. They straight up are like, it's a fucking mess.

It's a hot, bitch. It's a mess. Also, are we looking for hot mess? Because of the, in 2026 in our food? We found it. Hot mess is like such a 2016 phrase. Yeah, but I think it describes the country. This is a returning item.

What? This was, they have lauded this as the return of the hot mess burger now in Munchy meal form. Dude, speaking of bringing something back, Did you see the Wendy's bracket that they're doing? No. They're doing a bring it back bracket.

Is pretzel pub on there? I think it's on Twitter. You know it's on there and we need to be voting for it. Holy shit, I wasn't aware of this. You need to be fucking voting for it. This is on you. And if we can swing the vote,

take all the credit for it, makes our job obligation. Yeah, they haven't gotten back to us. I assume it's because they're still carving out our own position. Oh,

they have office. They're trying to push out the CEO so that we can be the CEO. They're writing all the rejection letters Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, here are the four. These are the four brackets. It's sweet and sour sauce versus bourbon bacon cheeseburger.

It's ghost pepper ranch sauce versus bacon portobello melt. Wait, sauce versus burger? Yeah. No, that's no. That's weird. Nick would never. It just doesn't make any sense. Dreamcicle Frosty versus yellow packaging.

The yellow packaging of the Wendy's? Monterey Ranch chicken sandwich versus pretzel bacon pub. See, that's a. real head-to-head matchup. But it's still like... But who's gonna win? The vote's on right now. Oh, shit.

How's it looking? What'd you do? How does Pratzop? I have to go on 100% eat and let everyone know that this is happening. Okay. Yeah. He's gonna do it live.

I'm gonna do it live. So right now, if you're watching this, know that it's already happening. Okay. While you do that. In a week, maybe it's still going. Go ahead, Nick. I know that Gracie, she had to have voted the last time we did this.

Because on the most recent episode of... He can log in, we discover it. On the most recent episode of MJ podcast, where she talks with us, someone from 100% neat has commented, yay, I had fun. Oh, that was me. It was not my name. One, obviously not. Two, I don't have the log in.

He can't log in. He has his own life. I've never asked. So she did it. Of course she did. Absolved. Okay. Except for the first one.

That was definitely. Yeah, that was definitely. The vote right now goes on for, at the time of this recording, it will end in, I think like 20 hours. Okay. The pretzel bacon pub is up 71% Oh, dude. And so I just retweeted.

Bro, it's got to win. Yeah. And I just retweeted it. Everyone wants. Yep. We're the only one saying. Bro, if anyone votes against that, what do you think?

What do you think? There's not a single item on that. I don't even need to know what's on that tier. Yeah. That should beat that. It's just like, that'd be insane. What was it going up against? The Monterey Jack chicken sandwich.

They have a good chicken sandwich. Which they're changing. The only thing. The only thing the pretzel pop. It was the one good menu item and they're changing it. Why are they changing it? To what?

They're like making it new and improved. Oh, like Alamo? Even though it was the only good thing. Yeah. They're making it better. They're going to change the crust and everything's great now. The only thing that,

I mean, it shouldn't lose to anything, but if it's gonna, the only thing that should lose to is yellow package. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing else should be picked.

I'll be honest. If it's like, food sours, the yellow packaging is not. worth it. No, I know it's not, but I'm just saying the internet can sway that way. If someone actually just goes like, no, I think this sandwich is better than that sandwich. It would be the voting for Peyton Hillis to be on the Madden cover of voting. There's nothing else. It better be a meme if it loses.

And not genuinely like, this burger's better. Fuck you. You're out of your mind. If the pretzel pub is on the top of, if it's top of mind, they better fucking bring it back. Oh, can you imagine? Yeah, wins the pole and they don't bring it back. Yeah, they're just doing it for farming social media. We need to get in and giving that place up. Yep.

Let us in. Yeah. Return my email. Did they have the bad lettuce now, too? Have they done the bad lettuce? They do shredded lettuce now. No, no, I meant, I meant like, like, E. coli. No, I don't think so.

No, I don't think they've done that yet. That was Taco Bell. And Jack in the Box back in the day. Yeah, that was Mad Cow. Yeah, that's Mad Cow. Very different. So, close. Very different.

Close. So this was voted on. if you want to be part of the next vote Patreon.com slash 100% E. We'll have one soon. And we have the anniversary stuff coming up. And it gets you in on like any other thing we do. Like, we're trying to do more like more live streams as well. And like beekeeper.

The fucking beekeeper. How good was that? Bro, how good was so much fun? I watched that again. I watched it too. I watched it without the movie. Same. I was jumping around.

Same. I know exactly what's happening on the screen. It was great. Yeah, I was reading the chat. I was reading the chat. I was reading the chat. So good. It's awesome.

I put it on the background the other day. Yep. It's fun of shit. It was so good. And we just did it. I was like, I didn't, I knew what was happening. I went back and watched the moment where I was like, he's not the president's son. Is he?

And Eric's just like, I watched me the whole beginning of the movie. The whole first thing is watching the movie and Eric just looking at me and we go, that movie's crazy. It's crazy and I can't wait for the second one. It's the best of all of those movies that we watch on a watch along. It's true. It's true.

Oh, somebody in the Discord. described it as like finding the Mendoza line. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Calling it the Craven line of like what is like a good enough movie that is actually enjoyable and entertaining. Yeah. Like to have a watch along like Craven and the crow were just like.

Man, those are slavons. We had to do a lot of heavy lifting. Yeah. I mean, the crow is just such a slog, man. It is brutal. Yeah. I think Crow is probably the worst movie we don't watch long time. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Because we went and then we realized that it's not. We're just gonna talk about how bad this movie. No, it's so shit. Also, I didn't want to be subjected to it again. No, I didn't want to watch it again. Watching Madam Webb twice was enough.

Too much. It was enough, but it was worth it. Yeah, the audience had fun. It was good. We knew we were getting into. Craven, I think, like, we walked out of the theater and we're like, no, probably before it ended. Yes, I know it took like five phone.

Oh, George was sliding down in his scene. Yeah, you just kept going like, and those guys. Hang on, you have to heal those. The two guys next to you were like, whoa. how do they do that I remember the trailer Lucy Lou Lou

Lucy Lou who she Lou The first time I've seen a movie I bet Dude I remember it Not from the episode I just remember it from telling you guys Where again they were doing the Alamo

Uh To like special screening Like promotion beforehand And I remember It was some old ass movie And it was like two men in drag And he's like Yo those are dude

Oh that's a dude And then the other guy goes I think they were both dude And the other guy like, oh my god, that's what I was also annoyed. It's not just because it was that. It's because it was that. And they chose to sit next to people in an empty theater.

That's what pissed me off. They were sitting next to you. Who the fuck chooses? There was like 12 people in the screening. And there's like, two right there. What the fuck? Go fucking sit somewhere else. And the guy like lost his phone.

Oh, I remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was crawling around on the floor and the other guy had his light. trying to help them find it. And I'm just like, I'm trying to watch the movie. Here comes Crave it. I did spill a water on a guy when I saw Project Hill Mary.

Really? Yeah. It's like, the space is so tight because they don't have the movable trays. Yeah. And I got, I was wearing a jacket and the jacket flat. Well,

no, what happened was I was getting up and I hit my like, my shitty shitty pretzel tray. To my left, I hit it. And I reflex went like that and then bumped into the cup. As you were like, Yeah.

He was cool about it. You were trying to prevent one mess and made another. He was cool about it. Also, thank God it was just water. And it was like empty. But is that the movie you took Lolo Bunny to?

No, no, no. She came to me, dude. She came to me and then I came to her. With your thin, thin straw. Yeah, my thin, thin straw. I gave her some, I gave her brand new basketball socks

and sneakers and I had a run, run, run, run, run, run, like crazy. And then I collected them from her. I collected them. Yeah. I put it right in a bag. fucking vacuum sealed it

and then there's like, you know, you know the part where you like if you vacuum sealed you put the hose in? Is this the agenda we're subtly pushing? Yeah. Settley, absolutely. Suttly pushing. Fortly.

And then you vacuum you do the one side and then there's a like a little sniff slider on the back. You just like, it's like the air in. It's like the, most of the air in. You know, it's like the fruit drawer in the refrigerator. Yeah, yeah. You just open the slats and they close it.

Even Nick's out on this one. Nah, dude. He doesn't have a rub in. So this... Yeah, he could... Well, he might get wet like that guy at the movie. Yeah. It does stick.

It's just not enough. We were talking about Alamo. They changed a bunch of stuff. You have to order on QR. Their pretzels are different. The pretzel was different. Like, I went and saw Project Hail Mary and was like, oh, we got a pretzel and it was like, it was three breadsticks. And it was weird.

And Michael's like, all investigate. Yeah. And then Michael investigated. And it was like, yeah. I said, where is this falling? We're like a pretzel, like a shit pretzel time. timeline or something. Yeah.

It's fucked up. It's weird that Sony did that and now a PlayStation 5 Pro is $900. Tomorrow. Yeah. It's okay. Yeah, you could still get it.

Did it save you money, asshole? Act now! I just don't, I beat Resident Evil 9 and I don't know how a PS5 pro is going to look better than what I have. I just don't know. GTS is an out.

It looks incredible. DLS is 5. Oh, and then it makes her hot. And it makes Leon hot. Yeah, it can make you hot. Crimson Desert looks better. It fixes the grass. Leon, well, I'll hear it's the thing.

It makes not faces look good. Yeah. Because it doesn't It changes It just changes It doesn't change the background It's different but not better Well make Lee

So it won't make Leon hot Or I would say worse arguably Yeah Well because it's not We're getting in DSLF5 conversation But it's just like That's not what they made Yeah

That's an artist made that They wanted the face to look a certain way And it's like Grace is a perfect example I mean like Of course she's still like Generically like attractive Of course

But she's not supposed to be like hot She's like oh I'm fucked up And like Kardashian It should be improving the fidelity, not changing it entirely. It's just, what if she had lip injections? It's just, what if she had lip injections, hot? What's it called? Buggle fat removal?

People are calling it. It's like, it's like aura maxing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What if everyone was clivicular? Yeah, just started breaking your boat smoke. The soap bottle in the background, that looks better. Yeah. Hot, it's just like, yeah, it makes face look weird.

Yeah. Leon looks rough in Resident Evil Nine. They really did him. He's old. He's 40, he's 49 years old. Damn. He's fucked up and it's awesome. It rocks.

Eric likes the old character. Also, he doesn't look that rough. He looks pretty good for 50. That's what I'm saying. The deeper you get in that game, boy, he looks rough. Because he's sick. Yeah, he's sick, dude.

He's sick, Jordan. I guess he's sick. I'm hearing the thing that Trump has on his hands. Yeah. Except he's done his neck too. Yeah, yeah. No, no. Is he shaking hands very strong?

Dude, you're shaking hands the whole game. The whole thing. Those blister heads coming. He goes, hello, hello, hello. That's, it's funny. Lola Bunny has that too because she was shaking something. Whoa.

A thin, thin straw. Not that much work. A sleek long, sleek long, aerodynamic. Eric. Some people like it more. Some bunnies like it more.

I don't know what to tell you. Hoppity, hoppity. Yeah. All right. Are we going to talk about Eric? Eric Hitton Xcar or what? Are we not going to talk about that? Should we talk about it?

Talk about what? Is it. Peter Cottontail. That's what it is. Hippity hoppy. Here comes Peter cotton tail. Hoping down the bunny trail. Happy Easter.

Something tippity. Hoping on his way. Hoppy Eggster. Oh. Oh, that's Sunday. Chappie Easter. Oh, happy chappy. At the time of this, that was something.

Oh, I was like, Easter hasn't happened yet. Not for us. I see. But for them. For them. For them. I'm talking to the Kings. How was your Easter?

And then also, how was on a calendar now, how was your Easter Monday? Yeah. What is that? I don't know. That is on the game. Maybe that's like you get an extra day off. That's what it is. Is it really?

Is your kid off that Monday? Yeah, mine is. He might be. What did you? You're the one that answered. Who else would. have it. Hey, no, also, I think that goes into effect next year. But also you answered his question. Yeah. You already had the knowledge and just had my wife tells me things. You were just

like, well, okay. It's off on Monday. That honestly is the, he dropped his phone. That's the best explanation you can give where it is my wife gives me information. I don't, it's in there. I'm not doing anything with it. I completely understand that. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get that. Yeah. I'd like, so now he's got to figure out doing this kid on Yeah, they're off on Monday. Anything interesting happening? Or they could be off on Friday. He's definitely off Friday.

Yeah, my kids are off on Friday. I thought it was usually a good Friday you got off. You do. When is good Friday? That's the Friday before you, sir. That's this Friday. Yeah, it's a good Friday. Yeah, it's a good Friday off.

The way you said it, it seemed like, do you get it off or do you not? I don't know. Lola did. No, I got off. We're going to have Trump hands. Do we want to talk about it? about driving to the Jack in the Box and what happened? Let me check in my insurance before we do that.

Okay. Same here. Hey, do you want to learn about Jack in the Box? Yeah. I just stayed out of that one. Smart. Our last Jack in the Box episode was October 7th, 2025, where we ate the Jack in the Box sourdough Scramble. It received an average rating of 44.5.

I don't remember that. It seems high. It must have been pretty inoffensive to receive such a high score for Jack in the Box. It was a breakfast sandwich on their, on their sourdough toast. Oh, interesting. How you feel about the sourdough toast this time, yeah. The food we ate today was also on sourdough bread.

Left a lot to be desired. But also one, I really, you know, you kept talking about how mine was like, it looked well. Yeah. Toasted actually adequately. The other piece wasn't at all. It was just one. Okay. So it was just like mine. It was soft.

Yeah. So the top was like actually a little crispy and the bottom was soft. This is a great fact and not subtly an agenda being pushed. You did this. Nick didn't even vote this time this is all on you. You're hot mess bugs. They are hot mess bugs.

They are hot mess bugs to pick this. Almost half of them. Almost half of them pick this. You heard the breakdown. It made sense. I'm sure everyone read that comment. I mean, like people are super millions. Makes sense to me.

Yeah, yeah. Up in the millions, I think. Maybe tens of millions. It could be tens of millions. That is an error I'm glad to make. It's just, it's stunning to me when you put something. forward to this audience that has Burger King and it comes in last.

That was... That's what I'm saying. They don't want to punish us. Shocking. But I still feel like we got punished. I was like, you hate Burger King. I hate Burger King. I know it's bad.

I love hearing you shit on Burger. He was afraid it would get blacklisted so we can't shit on it more. That's a genuine concern. I appreciate that. Very strategic, you know? It's like who you vote for in the primary. Yeah. Or what party you're voting for in the primary.

And if you don't vote in that, who you can vote for afterward. Yeah. Bring on the runoff. In December of last year, tasting table, the food, sorry, I skipped the line. Tasting table,

the food and drink magazine ranked Jack in the Box at number 21, dead last, in their list of fast food burger change. Wow, below Burger King? Yes. They criticized their burgers by saying they have, quote,

greasy patty, soggy buns, high prices, and a tendency to put too much mayo in the burgers. Oh. Burger King was number 19, which is incredibly generous. but we're not here to make fun of Burger King today, even though it is easy to do and a lot of fun. Okay, see?

Dude, which ties in. Yeah, he got what he wanted anyway. He got like a Burger King hit in me. He was on top of it. That was for you. This QSR type magazine where it's just breaking down food and drink and all that stuff. Listing 21 to 1, their best burgers and all that stuff. What do you think number one was?

Number one best burger from a fast food restaurant? They're not. Not like sit down. Yeah. They need your reaction to say McDonald's. But like even McDonald's burgers are just like, they're solid, but I don't think they're the best. Shake shack count?

Shake shack's on the list. Okay, I would put shake check number one then. Okay. Maybe five guys. I don't care. I don't even care. In and out? Yeah.

Just give me the answer. I don't care. No, guess. Guess. Pick B. Terry's. He picks B. Terry's. I don't give me shit.

I tuned out before you even got to me. I mean, I wouldn't say I tuned out. I was tuned in and decided I'm not doing this. Have you played fun games, Go Roundtable? Oh, I gotta guess, I gotta guess. I don't care. I don't care about this.

It's what I say is gonna change. You have the information. We provided enough context for like what number one is going to be a surprise. It's also, I don't give a fuck about these people that's rating them, who are they? I don't care about our rankings. I care about our rankings.

It's not their rankings. They hold no power over me. Number one, in and out. Okay. That makes sense. Is their number one burger? It's based on price, taste, like convenience, all that stuff.

They're cheap. That's their thing, is that it's very cheap. They've never raised their prices. Where do you think what a burger was? Oh, is it? I was gonna say number 20,

but I don't know. People, like Wendy's would be down there. Eight? It would probably be like 11. Five. Nine. Nick was almost right on the money.

That's a pretty good. Way to go, man. Burger King 19 McDonald's was like at like 15 or 16. Okay. It's just like, it's too expensive. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's the hard part. But like Shake Shack's up there. Five guys was up there. Shake Shack is expensive. But it's good. They are. but they're like notoriously expensive. But what you're getting like burger quality.

It's expensive and it's McDonald's. Exactly. Yes. Yeah, it's like what? Yeah. Um, I would be curious to know what 20 was. If Burger King's 19 and Jagging the box is 21,

Subway. Like what is in between the? Subway hamburger? Yeah. Subway pizza. Dude, so I was, I'm just talking about cheap. Subway, it's fucking cheap, man. There's Arby's on there?

They make burgers now. Oh, I don't remember. That's, that's interesting. Um, I don't think of Arby's as like a burger restaurant. Yeah. But I, I think it's a thing I hate and Nick loves. Roosy sauce.

Roosy. And they have the best poppers. Oh, that's right. He was going crazy. He was going crazy to that. You can't mention poppers on Arby's coming up. Apparently, I thought we could. Okay, 21 jack in the box.

That's right. 20. White Castle. Oh, that's crazy. Are they expensive? I mean, it's like shit, but it's good. It's crack food. It's low quality.

It's grease. But it is. Yeah, but it's good. Yep. That's small and. Yeah, drunk. They're good, dude. Burger King, 19. Fucking crap.

18. Carl's Jr. Hmm. McDonald's at 17. Wendy's at 16. Wow. Checkers rallies at 15. Freddy's at 14.

Interesting. Those were good. I thought it was fine. Smash burger, which is a chain that expanded too much and now they're closing. Yeah, I don't see any. Yeah, I like. They don't have them out here anymore. They closed them all in Austin.

I know. I know. Game stop. There might be one of San Diego. Yeah. I used to go there all time, dude. That's a good burger. Red Robin, 12.

Steak and shake. Red Robin is a sit-down. I know. Yeah, it's also not that good. Steak and shake, 11. Fat burgers. 10. That's shocking. Stake and shake's not that good.

Nick, Nick, you're going to go crazy. Bear Burger was nine. What a burger was eight? What's Bear Burger? You nailed it. Yep, I don't know. Nice. I have no idea.

I've never heard of it. I've also, B-A-R-E, like Bearfoot. Oh. I don't know how I was expecting. A surprise. Seven is a place I've never heard of. Seventh Street Burger. B-A-R-E, like Lola.

Seventh Street, isn't that like a... She's a sit down. I don't know. I've never heard of it. I don't know. Burgerfy, which is a place I've heard of, but we've never had. It sounds like a radio station. Number five. Habit, burger, and grill.

What? Culver's at four. Colvers, interesting. Shake Shack at three, five guys at two, and in and out at one. Habit is a Southern California chance from Santa Barbara. Oh, okay. Yeah, so. It's from back home.

There you go. Not Nick. Not Nick back home. That's different. All right. I guess we can get on to the next factor. Yeah, it was quite the journey.

Yeah. It's all right. We, yeah, oh yeah. We got some padding. That was some good padding. You ready to learn? After a tough Q4, Jack in the Box stopped

dropped 17% one day after reporting that their revenue fell 6% year over year and it had a $2.5 million net loss. They're planning to fix this. Open 20 new stores. Yeah, this place might be run by an actual clown.

Honka, honka, better start learning how to twist balloon animals like Michael, you putz? I'm not a puds. Also, honka honka? Hanka. That's the sound it makes?

Yeah. It's generally Waka Waka Waka. Yeah, but it's hung honk. Yeah. It's gonna go, honka. Honka honka is like here. Hey, hey. Honka honka honka.

Hey, you know what? Hanka honka honka. Same to the mic. We didn't hear you. I love that they lost all this money and their plan. the thing that fucked them up so bad the first time was over extending and opening into new regions.

So they're like, guys, we've found new markets and we're going to open in new regions. They're fucked. That'll really make up for the 6% of revenue loss. I'm so fun. They're making hot mess meals. And they're like, why are we losing money? Their same store like revenue is down so much.

And it's supposed to be sort of steady. And it's just in the tank. We've got to lose money to make money. And trust me, they're losing money. So any day now. Every other company is like, growth-minded, growth-minded. We got to keep growing. And the number keeps going up, like, 2 to 3% every year in sales growth.

And then they're like, hmm, we lost 6%. We got-grow? Yeah. We got the hot mess meals. This is, I think, why people stop going. What we got was $13 a piece. $13 a piece. Our grand total was $63.

It's a lot of food. It was a lot of value. The tacos are too. for one dollar. Right. They are. The talkers are two for one dollars. And it's fries.

And it's probably half a serving of a curly fry. Which maybe a dollar. Yeah. It was that red phanta. Yep. It was that red, red phanta. But phanta's not red.

No, it's orange. When it's orange fantasy. Orange is default fanta. When you explained it, watch the ride along. I don't even remember how I explained it because it left by rain. But it just happened. When you explained it as,

oh, you like gavined it. Yeah, yeah. That was absolutely right. Yeah. And Nick went, oh! Because he's right in what he's saying. Yeah.

But the way it's been presented to human people. There's two of those. Gavin definitely does it on purpose. Yeah. He didn't do it on purpose. No. That bitch admits it or not. He loves the discourse.

He loves Nick. He revels in someone much, much dumber than him, calling him dumb. And they think they're right. He's like, Gavin's so dumb. So good. As they drooling themselves, like, like people on the internet are like, he don't do it.

and everything's like misspelled and they're typing subtly. He loves... Are you pushing an agenda right now? God damn running. He's been just sending too much time around him, I think. I think so. I'm absorbing it. Look at this. Never do this.

Stop. I'm jealous. Stop. How about up here? So soft. I'm going to read the next fact if you don't move on. It's close. He said don't do it. He said don't do it.

He started nodding. That was weird. I was kidding. Did you? The final fact. and what was a hostile takeover? Big Lari

Big Lari Holdings Weirdo right wing owners of steak and shake were rebuffed by shareholders when a vote of confidence reelected the board of directors Big Lari brought up shares in Jack in the Box

in 2023 and 2024 and now owns just under 10% of the company Jack in the box swallowed a poison pill and Big Lorry nominated himself to seat on the board Oh two a seat on the board We don't fucking understand

any of this shit, but it's crazy that someone is trying to do Severance-style dealings at Jack in the Box. Imagine scheming and doing shady backroom deals with investors and board members in your ultimate prize is minor control of the place that does two tacos for 99 cents and everyone calls it Jack in the Crack tight. I do

think you could view Severance in succession there. Oh yeah! I kind of did like a Garrett See, I didn't know I haven't seen Severance. I was like, oh, Severn did that. Yeah, that's what Garrett did. They tried to get Garrett to watch Severance. I was like, I'm trying to watch Severance. These kids and they're all talking about like inheriting a company. He's like, when does it get sci-fi?

It's just, it's like, it's Karen Colkin doing like backroom deals or whatever. He's like, you're watching succession? Oh, no. That's wild. Garrett, mega-64. Oh, shit. When does it get sci-fi? I wouldn't expect anything less from the guy who replied to the question.

You read anything lately with stop signs and shit like that. Stop signs and shit like that. That tells you everything. That's, I bet. I bet you're eating Jack in the Box. I've eaten Jack in the Box with Garrett. Yeah, but did you like it? Oh, yeah.

Garrett has like... He's probably all over that hot mess. He could keep some in his boots. Garrett goes and gets like... I got a couple... Garrett has like the specifics of like, oh yeah, I get like the egg rolls and all that surprise me. Garrett eats the sea dog from Wiener Schnitzel, which is a fish stick and a hot dog bun.

Oh, yeah, you were asking if anybody wanted the fish sandwich. Oh, there's a fish sandwich at Jack in the box. He kept saying, you want it. Who wants it? Who wants it? I was like sitting down and I saw you porning at something about going, oh, yeah. And I was just like, it's called the Moby Jack. That made him so.

And their stock went down, down? our familiar faces. That's what happens. Like Nick says, when you don't join the jack pack, join my jackpack. We were at the restaurant. And Nick went, look, look,

join the jackpack. Wait. And unintentionally, as he did that, great fucking portrait behind him. Right. There's that photo where he was posing in front of it. Jack is like leaning and he's like, he was like mouth of all.

And Nick's like, Jackpack. And then there was another picture to the side of that where it's Jack standing in a forest and it's raining. Yeah. What was the one where you pointed and you went, is that Saddam Hussein? It was like a collage and below it.

It was like a film set of the commercial and it's just a guy holding a cue card. And then the guy next to him just looks like Saddam Hussein. It's like this. Is that where he's hiding out? It's like this sun faded photo that's like printed on the side of this booth. And Jordan just squinting and going, is that Saddam Hussein? What?

He was squinting like me playing Crimson Desert. Also. Weird photos and a slippery floor. I took a great little set of photos. It's like a fucking bathroom, dude. There was so much liquid. Michael's standing in front of the soda machine going like, what the fuck? There's just liquid everywhere.

Like feet and feet. So I took this picture so we could see it. And then Jordan walks in and pretends to slip, but I snapped the photo at the right. time so it just likes like he walked over. It does. Like Michael's looking down and then I walk in and slip. I just keep going like, what the fuck, man?

And now we're all part of the jack pack, which means we have to go to that jack in the box every day. You guys joined me. Yeah, it's right. And then we have to go there and endure the beeps. Dude, it's like my kids would go there and that's probably, my kids would go there. That'd be like, yeah, they would fall asleep.

You were saying that about Gracie. You're like, Finally is a piece of quiet. It is. That's their white noise. Yeah. There was one girl working there who was just running in circles

like making the food, doing this stuff, whatever. Like everything she did did not satiate the beeping. No. The beeping would not be satisfied. I think the more she did,

the more it would be. The beeping was encouraging. But it was one girl and she was like helping people. Their little order system was down. One more beef. Everything was fucked up and she's like running up.

She's like, I'll be right with you. I'm sorry. And I was like, it's okay. And she's running around. And she's like, I'm so sorry for that way. She was slang and shakes. I saw that.

Yeah. And I just went, it's, everything's fine. You're good. Don't worry about it. Everything's okay. And then she gave us extra ranch because we were nice. Wow. That's how it was.

Also, everyone was gone and the beeping had stopped. So I think maybe there was just like the serene feeling throughout the entire restaurant. Zen final. It's weird that Eric was one calming her down after the trip there. Yeah. Hey, everything's fine, man. Relax. It was just Nick.

It was Nick's car. Listen, listen. I've already found. my ceiling. I'm not going to find it again in the jack in the box. I think you could. I certainly good. I think you could drive through this jack in the box. No problem. If you drove your car through the jack in the box, I don't think it would make as much noise. There were there she would be like, finally something goes right. The car breaks through the door. There were like two guys getting Oreo shakes, another man waiting for his fries, the lightest

ground in front of the soda machine. There were some people definitely taken up that, that to talk over 99 sense to you. Man. Man. But that's who eats a Jack in the Box. Like, that's what it is. And us. And us because of you. You did this. Look what you did do us. You did this. So, I don't know. It's bad. It's...

You know what, Jordan? Why don't you teach us about the food? Jack in the Box, hot mess meal. Jack's... Dude. He don't want to know the word I was going to say. He's mad already. You don't want to know the word I almost said. Jack's chart. Hoping.

Hot mess cheeseburger is back on tour with Jack's famous two tacos, curly fries and a drink. Rock out with a limited edition meat, right,

and Tentaball. Is that his band? Is that why he looks like that? I guess. Included with your meal. Asterisk. Limited edition Nintendo Ball

supplies last. I think they got plenty. So, what do you mean? So many. We got four. Bro, a lot of supplies last.

So this is what we were talking about at the restaurant where everything's Jack from Jack in the Box. And I remember when those commercials started. They're everywhere. And it's like,

Look at this mascot guy. He's like in a suit, but he's, you know, the, there's a commercial where the guy pulls up. Uh-huh. And he's like, he pulls up to the drive-thru and he goes, can I talk to Jack? Yeah. Like, yeah, one second. And they connect it. He's like flying on a private jet.

And he goes, hi, what can I get you? And the guy's like, whoa, it's Jack. Yeah, it's that. It's, they really leaned into like, these are the goofy commercials. And then they did like a lot of stoner commercials where the guy drives up. Can I get a- Can I get 99 tacos for two cents? They're like, it's two targets for 99. 99 burgers, 99 fries.

See, mine doesn't fit. Too thick. Yeah, too big. Too big. The Jack antenna ball has so much hair. It does. And also, also, what do we do with this? So, this was the thing that was everywhere.

Nice and sweet. Uh-huh. And look, fits like a dream. It doesn't hurt anyone and it fits like a dream. And you can do just as much with it. Yeah. More. You can do more.

Some would say more. Some would say more. the commercials that were everywhere in like the 90s and like the 2000s are still happening. They haven't come up with a new idea. It's kind of just more of the same bit. I watched the commercial for this. I mean, why change what works? Yeah, it used to be this, right?

The voice is different. It's the same guy. Yeah, it's the same concept. And it's like, hey, it's like when they changed Kermit's voice for some reason. What memories do you have from your band? Because he was like, He doesn't come with the frog situation

They're like what memories you have from your band And then it's just like this montage of him being in like a band But like an 80s thing It's like 1989 And I'm like this is 2026 That's way too long ago Right Like these ideas are like this is left

It had 600,000 views I think On YouTube Like 600,000 views But then you read all the comments And it's essentially a copy and paste of the same comment over and over again. The audience will love this one.

The audience is going to go crazy for this. We love that the audience is going to love this. Are they bot farming their own YouTube? They are. Why don't we do that? Why are we spending money on bots? Social media is all bots anyway. That's how like people are generating value.

It's like we're not doing it. Guys, if you're watching this, just put bots on our YouTube videos. Yeah, you pay for it. Oh, no. What's that? The sign we got. Does not play liberals. Does not play liberals.

It still, yeah, it still works. I'll tape it to them. But it's crazy. It's crazy that that's what Jack in the Box is still doing, but no one watches TV, so how would you know?

Perfect. Nice. It's true, yeah. I mean, unless they were like, that's Eric. Yep. And Fiona.

Yeah. Achieve, classic achievement on her. She started. Let me shift on the right, and I got on board. That's when people started saying, Michael's changed. Yeah, like a brother to me. He's too conservative now.

That's what people always say. But, like, their ideas to bring back this thing that I don't even remember really when it was a thing before. I don't remember a hot mess thing. But then their idea. But I remember this. Right. Oh, also, the rock star Jack. They had a weird font in the story.

It kind of looked like I said, hot piss. It did. Yeah, I did. It was like neon font. But I didn't question it because I agree. The picture of the food Looked worse than the real food. It did. It looked terrible. The way it's supposed to look good on the menu If Gracie was with us and there was a random lemonade in the car, I think it would have been pissed

Who's lemonade? I forgot she did that. What a fucking Guys, I got the lemonade God damn Jesus Christ. Hey, check out this press material The Hot Mess Burger first made its debut in 2013 the perfect time for when hot mess was relevant Featuring Jack on tour with 80s rock band MeatRy where he met his wife, Cricket. Keep going. There's a whole backstory.

Are we doing fanfic? Yeah, I don't know. There's Jack in the Box fanfic. Dude, Cricket, hell yeah. To mark the hot mess return and in celebration of the brand's 75th anniversary, Jack Box reprises his role

as frontman of Meat Riot in a remake of the original ad. Jesus Christ, shut up. It's the Boxiverse. Featuring Jack, fondly looking back on his days as lead singer in the band. Fans are given an insider look at Jack and Cricket's

early days. I know you were wondering about cricket and what Cricket was doing. I just learned about cricket and I was immediately curious. Tell me everything about cricket, especially the early days. Cricket makes me, for some reason, and I don't really know why, but cricket makes me think of Birdie and not chewing. Oh yeah! I think Cricket's problem is they chew too much.

Yeah, Bertie, can you leave a comment just as like a wellness check to let us know that Yeah, that you haven't choked in that sense. Honestly. Yeah. Blobber is still pretty active on the Discord and stuff, which is crazy that those were the same food court. I'll take a birdie over a blob. Haven't heard from Bertie lately. Is Cricket's name Cricket Box?

Yeah, I mean, unless she kept her maiden name. Cricket, modern woman. I don't think Cricket would do that. I know Cricket in her early days was pretty wild. Yeah. But like the rest of us, as you get older, you get more conservative. What was? Cricket's maiden name, do you think?

Bug. Cricket bug, yeah. Two G's. Yes. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Someone subscribed Jack in the Box to our Patreon.

I never really thought that Jack in the Box's name was just Jack Box. Me neither. But I guess that makes sense. But I also just thought of like Jack Fox games. Oh, different guy. Yeah. Different guy. Yeah.

You don't know Jack. Yeah. Box. I'm just so curious. I'm just so curious. I hope Cricket's doing well. I just I was so good I want an insider look

I hope birdie's doing well but I also hope cricket's doing well yeah dude I hope everyone who's named after a bug or a bird you know I watch the other day this popped in my head earlier and now we've lost it bringing it I watched the oh because we uploaded it

from the vault salina's chef video oh yeah yeah yeah dude watch a Nick just fucking sweat to death and like eat that bottle of water that's not a little kitchen anymore It's like a... Oh, really?

It's a little like a bodega restaurant thing. Oh, well, that's probably a little better. Yeah, probably a lot better. I remember driving by there. Nick did great. That was like, in Mueller, and I would drive by it all the time.

I'd be like, that's where we feel bad. I think about it all the time. We got to, I was watching it. We got to those short ribs, and I was like, yeah. Raw. Yeah. And then it's, we didn't have all the ingredients.

Oh, over and over again. Yeah. Oh, I forgot about food. Dude, the first thing he goes to me get the eggs. And Drew's like, the 12 not the 18 18's expired and I go good thing they're still in there

Cricket box is just a woman She's not a jacking the box head She's like a blonde woman Yeah dude he fuck I'm on the long long I'm on the jack in the box Wiki According to this Role wife of Jackbox

Roll that's her role That's what I tell my wife Her role is wife of Eric Bador Affiliations a box family Position filled Box family. Her debut was election ad 1998.

Universe, Jackbox universe. Portrayed by unknown actress. Oh, wonderful. Laura Dunn from 1998 to 2009.

Jillian Vigman 2010 to 2016 and unknown actress Hot Mess 2013. Well, he's trading him out like Leo. Well, it's just a role. Yeah.

That's right. Jack in the Boxer. he might be in like kind of I wonder if Jack in the box and I'm just kind of spitball in here I wonder if he's like kind of like a Lindsay Graham situation where um yeah yeah just sort of like

yeah just kind of like an undercover guy you'll never see my wife trying to like go to war oh oh I see at Disneyland but then posting a photo of him with gun saying shotgun today and like shot gun today

you are at uh Disneyland jackbox don't try to hide it Jackbox come clean Cricket and Jack Bitt met in 1989 at a meat right concert in Oakland, California. Yeah, what do you mean? We're talking about Cricket now.

They married at some point between October 1991 and early 1995. And Cricket gave birth to their son Jack Jr. soon thereafter. The couple renewed their vows in 2009. Oh, good. In 2016, Cricket became pregnant with the couple's second child. You're still going! Jesus, we had a whole Lindsey Graham conversation over here. Craving spurred Jack to launch the brunch fist of...

Lindsay, Alex, and her Graham Bell. Although there was a baby shower held, the only mention of a second child is a November 2018 tweet, including indicating, indicating a daughter. So this is a thing where you're either, you're either like into trains too much or into the Jack in the box. I read all that so I can read this last paragraph, which says, during Jack's feud with Martha Stewart in early 2018,

cricket could be heard on a message Jack left on. Martha's voice mail announcing dinner was ready. It makes sense if you follow. Oh, I know it makes sense. I'm just jealous that I wish I was hit. I'm just getting so angry that that's not me. You got to be a Jackbox universe. Yeah, I'm just angry that's not my life.

Stop caring about trains so much and start caring about this. Guys, we have our review of Jack in the box. We got killed buying the trains. Is that Bobby? Bobby Backelah, yeah. Bobby Backelah. Yeah, yeah. Blasters buying some jade.

There were expensive trains. Yeah, well, that was the thing because it was going to be like the crown jewel, for his collection. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, like, and then his fucking big fat body fuck that place. Oh, yeah. Like, imagine how much damage he cost just falling on trains and shit. Those were like hundreds of

like thousands of dollars of trains. And he's just getting blasted. Yeah. Sorry, Bobby. Well, we have a review of Jack in the Box. We need here from you in a segment we call you review. I miss Sopranos. Yeah. Of just the, the, not even say normalization, but the celebration.

What? Of everyone just being like, you big fat fuck. That was really. You big commas. Fat fuck, you big fat fuck look at me. So why you make you phone my weight. And like they're all fat. They're all fat. They're all right.

Dude, it was so awesome. It's perfect because it's just, it's the projection of what those characters are all about onto other people. It's perfect. But like not even in like an, but it's not even projection in like a like a, like it makes them feel bad. It's not like I'm fat. So I'm fat. It's like, yeah, I'm fat.

You're fat too. You fat fuck. It's so good. It's great. It's acceptance. Okay, it's great. Whoever reads the first one should read the third one. Second one's a little longer.

That's all. All right, what do you think, Jordan? You've been taking the long ones lately. It doesn't matter me. I'll take the second one this time. Okay. Okay, so I do first and the third. All right.

Jonathan C says, there is an employee, some old lady, and she's always yelling at you with smile or even an, excuse me? Okay. Just a quote, what? Quote, we don't have that? I buy food here occasionally,

and when I hear her through the drive-thru, I just drive away. it's more of a hassle to get food with her at the window than for me to go somewhere else. Hiring for this Jack in the box should be put into question. The lady is so... The lady is so loud in the drive-thru and he's there so often that he knows if he hears that voice, he's just going to go to like Waterburger. That's crazy.

That is crazy. She is always yelling at you with smile or even an excuse me just a what? We don't have that. What is that? What does that mean? I don't know. That's polite. I don't.

Yeah, I hate it. I don't know what he's trying to say. He doesn't play with liberals. I definitely believe that. Like, I'm not really sure what he's trying to say. It sounds like she's smiling and saying we don't have that. Yeah. Is that...

But loud. No. So he just drives away. Yeah. He's yelling at you with... Yelling at you with you smile. Uh-huh. Or even an excuse me, just a one.

What? We don't have that. I'm smiling while you yell at me. I don't know what I mean. I go somewhere else and then come back. Yeah, I hope she's not working. Her shifts over in everything. That's crazy. You think he would like, you know, just know one to avoid it.

Right. Just check the schedule. Check with the manager. See what the schedule is. Well, he does work there too. Yeah, there you go. Jordan. This next one is from J.S.

Okay. These must be the biggest bunch of boneheads in San Marcos. We went through the drive-thru and ordered tacos. The variety pack, parentheses, curly fries, mozzarella, cheese sticks, onion rings, egg rolls, a chicken club salad, a large Coke, and a breakfast jack. They asked me at the speaker what condiments I wanted,

and I said a lot of taco sauce and an extra mozzarella for the cheese sticks. Huh? Now I get informed they don't have curly fries or the milkshake my daughter wanted. I get to the window and we sit there for about eight minutes, and they hand me the food. I say, can I get some extra taco sauce?

She was handing me a bag and she pulls it back and throws in extra condiments. I tell my son to go through the bag and he says everything is here, but I don't see extra taco sauce. I pull up because there were six cars in line behind us

and we look through the bag. All the food is there, but there isn't any marinera or any taco sauce. I asked for the taco sauce three times, including to her face at the window. She gave us Buffalo barbecue sauce. We pull

into the parking spots in front of the store and I walk around but there is a pickup truck there and I can't get anywhere near the window. Don't go to the window. I can't get near it. He doesn't go in the store. He goes back into the drive store. That always works out when you walk up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How do I get around

this truck? They like that. Well, you open the passenger side to the truck. You climb through. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I lost my spot. She sees me so I figure I'll call and they can walk out the condiments. Are you an idiot? My lights are shining into the store and they look out and I'm sure,

and I'm sure no, I'm the one that come up to the window. The phone, phones rings and they hang up. I try to call back several times and the phone is off the home. Wow, this is going to call it so many times they unplug the phone. There is still six cars in line. If you're not going to do it right, don't do it. They didn't. I don't want cheese sticks without marinera,

and I don't want their tacos, which were less than half full slash parts were just shell. That's their tacos. Without taco sauce. This stuff happens way too often. Bro, the amount of effort to not walk your fucking lazy ass in the store.

You got your kids got legs. I started doing semifold. In any of my messages. I couldn't get to the window, so I just got in my car and high-beamed them. And I called them. Calling it. They can answer.

And I guess that was the end of his story. He just didn't go in. I've tried everything. That's fucking crazy. Was it late at night in the store was closed? Does not say anything about the lobby? I'm gonna be honest. And there is like if that did happen, that is crazy.

Like that you ask three times you don't get it. I lose all sympathy for you when you refuse to walk into the store. There's nothing I can do! I've tried walking over through the drive thing. I can't even, I can't even call it lazy. It's, to me, so much more effort to call them. To find their phone never take it out. Like, I would be like, oh my God, please God, just let me go in and get it.

Right? How is that? No idea. That's so much effort. It's crazy. And they're not going to pick up. Dude, I got to be honest with you. Like, nowadays, if people go, I called and the store didn't answer.

It's 2026. Who the fuck uses a phone? Who's called? It's not 1995. You're not called. Hello, Jack in the Box. Like, those people don't answer phones there. It's cricket box answering.

They have a million Uber orders and drive-thru. And mobile orders. Like, nobody's answering fucking phone to Jack in the Box. If you're calling a Jack-in-the-Box, a phone is ringing in a warehouse somewhere. Like, 30 miles away. Fucking, dude. You're not calling the Jack-in-the-box. That's crazy.

To try, there are six cars. There are six cars in the drive-thru. My plan is. is to walk into the drive-thru. Right. Also, there's six cars in the drive-thru. It's probably slammed. I'll call them. I better give them a call.

What do you think they're gonna do? Do you think they're gonna answer the phone? Like, we went there today and there was that one girl doing everything? Was that the phone? There's a lot of murder. Hello, Jack in the box. Oh, don't mind all the beeping in the background. No, I can talk.

Cricket here. Cricket here. What can I get for you? Family operation. Oh man, I'm glad you to get your sauce. Fuck you. Yeah, a piece of shit. Piece of shit.

I like that he corrects himself and says that he wants the marinera later. But when he asked, he said, mozzarella. Just give me the mozzarella. Yeah, that's why. All right. All right, here we go, Jordan. You got this one? No, I got this one.

Idiot. Noah Ward W. His source name's no award. That's no award. Yeah, that sounds like a NOSC. It could be us. Not us. We got that and we got an Oscar.

That's right. Noah Ward W says I spent $50 through Uber and it took over 40 minutes to arrive When it arrived it was four egg rolls A completely different person's order I call them and I have to drive to pick it up I get the food and go home Come to find out they forgot four tacos

And gave the wrong drinks The only thing special about this place is the extra Chromism of workers they picked up on a short bus Who did she can be rough, I know but come on Whoa Hey good thing you to read that one Yo, what year? It's 1998.

Is that not fucking crazy? That's the Yelp review he left. When's the last time someone mentioned the short bus? I mean, Jesus. Who, Christ. Isn't that, like 2020? No. Oh, it's recent.

Is it that? Dude. Isn't that... Don't make me tap the sign. Is that not fucking nuts? Also, how... fucking stupid are you? You ordered through Uber. They fucked up your order.

First of all, probably the Uber. Yeah. Uh-huh. But second of all, you're doing a review for them. You're so fucking dumb. That already happened. You drove there. You didn't check your own order. You didn't check the order. And then you drove home.

You fucking moron. You dumb piece of shit. No award. It's called the, the U review special where people are just, they're posting themselves getting owned. And just going one star. I can't believe this.

They're so dumb. I can't believe. Gavin says, They told me they pissed in my cup and I'm going to drink the piss cup. I have to try to pick it up. I get the food and go home. I'm out of my food.

It's not that hard. Fuck, right. How fucking stupid are you? What happened? All the grace in the world to me, none for them. Why do I keep drooling on my tongue? What a fucking piece of shit.

He wrote that. That's crazy. Also, food industry can be rough, I know, but come on. Also, he ordered Jack in the Box through Uber Eats. Yeah, what a dumb fuck. You can have anything on Uber Eats. Yeah, anything. He wants Jack in the Box.

Eggrels, egg rolls. He could have got real egg rolls. Four tacos. Oh, they forgot my four tacos. For $2. They spent 40 bucks? Yeah. 50 bucks?

How many tacos did he get? He got a lot of tacos. He was short four. But those are your reviews. of Jack in the Box. We have our reviews of the Jack in the Box Hot Mess, Munchy Meal. I loved it.

Jordan will start with you. Didn't want it. Didn't look good. You eat with your eyes first and it was ugly. Yours, like the top. The top of the sourdough, grilled very well on yours.

It actually looked like someone cooked it right. Eric opened his. His was like overdone but not burned. It wasn't burned, but it was dark. It was definitely darker. I open mind, raw. Yeah. Raw sourdough.

Yeah, and I turned around it was slightly grilled, but like the bread had no like structural integrity. It was falling apart before I got my mouth. Mine was half of that. Yeah. I had structural integrity on that top side. We called that the camera side. Yeah, yeah. They were. Bottom side was ignored. They were ignored. They were ignored for the camera. The color of Jordan's hamburger like yellow. It was yellow. It was buttered. It was buttered and not toasted. Yeah. So he just got buttered soft bread. Oh, it was bad. The other thing that we were in. into, this I'm sure it won't factor into what you run into? We got we got the seven-piece jalapeno poppers

on that street, huh? Nick took a bite into one and just went this one's still frozen and then just but it was like five in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because I each had one in the car

the, the and I was glad I abstained that could have been me. I could have gotten these are the worst they've ever been. When I said I could have gotten the Russian roulette on that one. I only compare it to Sonic off the top of my head because it's like another fast food holopinia popper. They're way worse.

Yeah. The breading sucks. Arbiz. Right. I don't go there. So for me, as I'm Michael, what I compare it to, and you have different comparisons because you go to Arbby's. And it is when you started yelling. Poppers, mappers, Barbus, poppers. And I went, horsey sauce. And he went,

I didn't say that. Now now. But the breading sucked and Nick goes, inside's good. And I agreed. The inside was good. Then he got one that was not good. He goes, it's frozen. And I was like, how do you do that for one?

How did one of them be frozen? The beeps were too early. That's what the beeps were going on. I don't know. Did they cook one? Well, no, they didn't. There were one shorts. Yep.

Floated away. Crazy. But I abstained from the poppers, luckily. So I didn't get that. You missed out, dude. You missed out. There's one left. Might have be thought of it.

by now. They're, I mean, they rank what, 20, 21st, dead last for a reason. Because, like, their beef patty suck. Dude, their meat's terrible. Their meat is so bad. And you can put as much crap as you want on it. I don't know how it's so bad. Yeah.

I don't know. Like, put onion rings and that cheese shit and the fucking jalapenos on it. Like, I can taste it before it hits my mouth. I don't know, dude. As it approaches my mouth. It stinks. It stinks. It stinks.

It's a bad taste stink. That I'm tasting it. And I'm like, oh, this sucks already. Yeah. And then I have to take a bite of it. it and then it's a fucking... And then it's a fucking messy piece of shit. Yep.

It's so messy. I was like, I was like 45 seemed high. Yeah. It's so soft and messy. It's so soft and so messy. It's like Burger King's burger is suck, but like I feel like it's what they do to it. Yeah. Like, it's how they cook it and what they put on it.

It's like this. But like this is the meat. Like where do you get this? The stinky cow. I buy meat at Walmart. Yeah. At H.E.B. Off the shell.

Yeah. Cook on grill. It's better. So. Good. Compared to this. Salt pepper, maybe a little

just like a seasoning packet. How it's like, dude, it's like old gym mats. It's more work. How do you find meat this poor quality? Like, yeah,

to make these burgers. I can't understand it. I can't like, dude, and I eat McDonald's. I eat crap. I eat garbage. This is like dog food meat.

And it's before they cook it. It comes that way. I know it. I just don't know where, where do you get this from? And how cheap is it? It's fucking crazy. Stinky calories.

For the same. thing about Sonic, dude. Their burgers are fucking disgusting. And that's the main thing here. It's the fries and the tacos. Like, the tacos are nothing special. It's just their tacos. They're better than the burgers, dude. Yeah, yeah, the burgers obviously the worst thing. But it being the main attraction here

means that it weighs the heaviest. Oh, for sure. It fucking sucks. It weighed me down. 18. 18! You were right that 45 was a little high. Yeah. No, I know. I just said it now, too. I swear to God, it's not even like intentional several times since eating this I've gone

guh that's how I feel about the meat it's very gufewed yeah the burger it's Jesus Christ dude the best thing on the burger the best thing on the burger was the onion ring that I had yeah I like tasted it

it was salty I didn't have an onionless ring Nick simply got ring he did say that goes unless I ate it he did also say that I didn't taste onion though I believe they didn't give it to you

Yeah okay It's a gym mat just fine It's so bad It's just like It's crazy It's crazy how bad it It's probably not food Honestly

If you eat it It becomes food right Like by legally we made It did become food We helped Yeah yeah Yeah It did become food

None of us felt good I mean everything you said There's really nothing to add Yeah It sucks So messy Except I ate one I ate two poppers and you didn't

I hate it 15 15. Wow. And Nick is very happy with that. It's terrible. It's a 16.5. It's called the hot mess. The 100th episode.

It's a stinker. Wow. Yeah, dude, 16.5 is... It's a stinker and it's your fault. Thank you. We suck and you suck. Yeah. It's just like...

So does Lola Bunny. Uh-oh. Who told you? The thing that I don't... How many episodes of FaceTime did we do? Are we? Like, it's got it. We did 100 at least, but like we're going to be catching up.

Because they were bi-weekly. Yeah, but we did FISHM longer? Yeah, but we're going to catch up pretty quick. We're probably close. Yeah. What do we do that for like five years? Four? Less than five.

Like, 19 to 24? Yeah, five years. Like late, late 2019. So at least like, we're probably close. So at least like 150, 140. Yeah, probably something around that. I mean, we'll definitely, like. Yeah.

We'll lap it. I'm sure somebody knows. Yeah, we'll lap it just because. Are they? No, I don't think so. These aren't numbered either. No, we don't number them. Like, Nick numbers them.

Which is why Nick posted like podcast 99. And it was like, oh, the next one's 100. Yep. So there you have it. I mean, I think your score is fair for what we ate. People should not have this probably. But you can get a jack-in-the-box head that you can put on your normal, your regular straw. 117.

Oh, damn. 117? That's it? Yeah. That's crazy. I mean, it's like a long span of time, but like... I guess that makes sense because we only did like four in 2019. That's true.

This is... Jack in the Box is disappointing because this is what Jack in the Box is. I don't know if they'll be in business in a few years because they just don't... I feel like it's just the way things are going. It's like they'll do anything but turn the ship around. Yeah. You know?

They're going to open 20 more stores. Well, then they can get a little more revenue. Yeah. more revenue than last year, but it'll still be more. Yeah. It's, I'm very curious to see if someone does take it over if they sell it to private equity, because I mean, they got rid of Del Taco. Give it to the big lorries.

Yeah. Make the most shaken steaks. Well, they all, uh, that's the, the beef tallow guys that are all into like RFK. That's what, uh, that's a steak. They got infected by the same worm, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty much. And they're going to put those worms inside Jack in the box. Blast by the worm.

Blast by the word. You say infection. They say evolution. Yeah. Well, hey, you can go to 100% eat dots. Yeah, you can. Now we have the tall shirt. Tall.

This guy put on the other day. You can be tall. We have the 100% Eat magnet. We also have this logo on the beanie. Beanie. That's been great. I don't have it handy. So go check that out.

You know streamly.com slash 100% eat. Check out the Michael Jordan podcast, Patreon.com. Also approaching 100%. Exactly. Very, very close. Very cool. Very exciting.

Some would say this Friday. Some would say this next one we're going to record is going to be 100. It is a fact. You can also follow us at 100% eat on Twitter, Instagram, and Blue Sky, but do check us out on Patreon. We have a lot of stuff coming up

for the anniversary that we've been talking about that we want to get going. So I think it's going to be like a lot of fun coming up in May. And I think we have some cool stuff on the horizon, especially this 100% treat. And you can send stuff into 100% treat at PO Box 14, 32, 41, Austin, Texas,

78714. Yeah, that's true. You can go back and watch it from Saturday. It's P.O. Box 14, 3241. Texas, 78, 17.1. Check it out. Yay. Thank you for 100 episodes. Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about the show with 100 episodes. Sorry.

Where we eat the food and rate the food. I'm not thanking them. I'll thank them on the Michael Jordan podcast. Okay. Oh, that's free. Right. This is free. You're welcome. You're welcome.

You're welcome for 100 episodes. Let's get dessert. What? We have the stuff you got. Oh, yeah. There's that ice cream. All right. Hey, taste test on the Michael Jordan podcast.

I'm not, but you can. That's me. Thinking ahead. B. Happy 100. Bye to me and no one else. What the fuck?