100% Eat - Zaxby's Signature Club Sandwich

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Zaxby's Signature Club Sandwich so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about Mobile, Alabama, Jordan's love for the Zax, and Nick's sauce count prior to the episode. Sponsored by: ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/facejam), HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/facejam16 + code facejam16), and Hawthorne (http://hawthorne.co + code FACEJAM). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Old Jake was in the background in one of those commercials. They have a little passing of the torch moment. Why are we rolling on that? I don't know. I just don't understand why they had to call him Jake. It already has the mind share. He's in the atmosphere. Was he, though? He's in the blogosphere.

See, he wasn't. If you asked Jake from State Farm before this Jake, they would go, what? Call him Blake from State Farm. Because the guy did two commercials. It wasn't iconic. Why wasn't it Blake? Alright, roll. Let's roll. You hear a fucking word he's saying? No, I have no idea what he's saying. Yeah, he's like talking to us.

That's cool. Why are you talking to us? What do you want? Move away from Eric? Wow, what the fuck? Couldn't be happier to do that. What the, what do you mean? Hey.

Splitting up two best friends? He was just letting you know you were getting too close. Splitting up the two best friends of this podcast? Is that good? Okay. All right. So what now? Nah, it started, I guess.

I handed it to you. What'd you do with it? No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. Uh-oh. Literally never handed it to you. You didn't print out enough sheet. No, I did.

I handed it to you. You did not. I did. I handed it to you. It should be right there. I know where it is. Where is it? It's not under, no, it's not. I mean, you handed it to you. You did not! I did! I handed it to you, it should be right there. I know where it is. Where is it? It's not under, no, it's not.

I mean, you literally didn't, so what's happening now is Eric didn't hand me the- I did hand it to you. Okay, okay. And then he- Hang on, hang on, hang on. Let's hang on. Cat, you read. Hey, everyone stop, everyone stop, everyone stop.

What we're discussing here is the opening of the show. I absolutely handed it to you. Eric is tearing the room apart. I'm just, put your headphones back on. I have, I'm gonna, look,

I saw Batman, I am in part, also the greatest detective in the world. Okay? He has it. He sucks. Okay. Okay.

You didn't hand it to me. Let's get to the bottom of this. Because I took it before we went to the restaurant. So you didn't hand it to me though. Wait. to the bottom of this. Because I took it before we went to the restaurant. So you didn't hand it to me, though. Wait. So you live in a weird psychosis where you were screaming, I handed it to you.

Why would you hand it to him before we left? We all sat here. I didn't hand it to him before we left. He took it before we left. Right. So you never gave it to me. I convinced you in your own mind that you handed it to me when it never happened.

And that is why you can't trust witness testimony. Wow! I thought this was it. Michael just pulled out $130. That's a lie. That's a lie. It's $60. I thought it was the sheet. Here it is.

It was a really weird punctuation to make, and that's why you don't trust witness testimony. $60. Yeah. You didn't hand me shit! Hey, welcome to Face Jam. Probably the most unhinged opening we've ever done.

Yeah, bump the mic some more. That's fine. Eric's taking his jacket off. He's getting mad. This is the show where sometimes we try every new fast food creation. You know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, who wasn't handed this piece of paper,

alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers, who was handed his sheet of paper. Jordan, how are you? Doesn't tell you. Doesn't tell me. Why would I? What was the point of handing it to me? Why would you say you handed it to me when you didn't? You do lots of things we don't understand.

This sucks. This episode sucks. I agree. I agree. And I hope we both blame the same person. Did you get any of the Jake from State Farm talk?

I hope not. We probably got to clear that with legal. Just say his name. Oh, that's good. That's what we should do. We don't want to dox him. I've heard Jake

is very litigious. I should get legal more involved in this show. That seems like it's going to be the route that we want to take. It works so well with the title. Well, I heard he, I mean, like, I wouldn't cross that guy.

He killed and ate the other Jake. Oh, no. Was that in one of the commercials? That's what happened? They cut away just before he does it. It was, like, found footage that I saw. He consumed him so no one could ever find his remains. So they did have one commercial crossover where old Jake goes, hey, you're the new Jake.

That was the day he ate him. And then after that, the new Jake had to consume the old Jake. Well, he didn't have to, but he chose to. Oh, he chose to. So new Jake chose to consume old Jake. Yeah, he licked his lips and said, no going back now. Like after he'd eaten him. Now he's wearing khakis.

Anyway, today we're reviewing... He burped up a button. Today we're reviewing Zaxby's Signature Club Sandwich. That's what that was. We are? That's what it was. Weird. Yep.

Past experience. Never heard of it until this show. Seriously. Jordan's been talking about Zaxby for a year or so now. I've been to a Zaxby's or two. Never heard of it. Sounds made up. Sounds like Zaxby for a year or so now. I've been to a Zaxby's or two. Never heard of it. Sounds made up. Sounds like Zax Bagans.

The fuck is Zax Bagans? Is it a person? Is that a Lord of the Rings character? What? The ghost hunter guy. The ghost hunter? Yeah, the most famous guy. The rich one. Is this a fictional character? When Michael and Nick both know something and we don't,

I don't know who to trust. It's super uncomfortable. It's like the most famous ghost hunting show that there is. The reason he's got that 60 bucks is because he's tipping Nick being like, just agree with everything. Why would I have it if I'm tipping him? Because you've already started and you're going to keep it going. It doesn't

make any sense. You wouldn't have the money you already gave him. Who's the detective? I am. I'll be honest. I think you're the Riddler. I think Nick is excited about the prospect of making $60. Well, he's not gonna. He can go fuck himself in his fat fucking ass. Whoa.

I thought it'd be funny because he's like 92 pounds. He's in the best shape out of all of us But he's really subconscious Look at the size of the head I thought it'd be fun to just feel Just a little bit of venom

Was it shocking? It was a little too much in the opposite direction Now do you understand my restraint? When I say I'm a normal restrained guy That could be that all the time Alright I just wanted to show you my progress Just for a second I say I'm a normal, restrained guy. That could be that all the time. All right? I just wanted to show you my progress just for a second.

Just for a second. Give him a taste. Show him your fangs every now and then. Give him a taste. You don't want to end up like the original Jake from State Farm. Yeah, yeah. It's like God of War. I buried those under my floor. Oh, that's good.

Oh, good. But Zach Bagans. So Zach Bagans is a man who hunts ghosts. Yeah, he's the guy that wears all black. He's got black hair. And he's like, I'm Zach Bagans. And I'm hunting ghosts. And I get $50 million a year for it.

Because I go, ah! Every episode. That's what he does. Ghost Adventures? Is that what it is? Ghost Adventures. I don't know. I don't care at all. It's just like, that's it. He's the Joe Rogan of ghost shows. Oh!

Finally, you put it in the terms like an understatement. I'm sorry. So he has like a lot of, oh, what the fuck? He does like to wear that hat. Our intern Kat just showed us a picture and it looks like he's in the band Rancid. We gotta do this promo shoot. I wasn't expecting like a bowler hat.

Yeah. Well, he's more in time with the ghost he's trying to speak to. He's big in the ghost bowler hat era. I simply said that because you said Zach's bees, and I went Zach's bagans. I said it earlier.

I thought it was a Lord of the Rings character. No. I don't know Lord of the Rings well, so I just assumed it was that. I mean, it doesn't matter even if you did. He's not in it. He might be in it. Maybe in the new one on Amazon.

I don't think he'll be in that. All right. Too rich. But he's 60 pounds. Well, it was like a billion dollar series and half of that went to Zach Bagans. Yeah. I mean. Why are they doing so much of that show in practical?

There's so much of that show that they're doing practically and it's like just the opening. Because they got to. It's insane. It's because they spent a billion dollars on it. Also, probably because they don't want to repeat the shame of the hobbit right like dude how fortunate lord of the rings was so good people just let it slide oh they were just like eh this sucks anyway we still like lord of the rings though because this is right yeah this is like perfection and we love it you tried so hard to undo all the goodwill and you didn't even put a dent in it truly on the merit on the back of lord

of the rings being like a sensation like a phenomenal film franchise that you could create filmmaking that you could create something as lazy as the hobbit and everyone just goes you know what it's fine we're just gonna say this sucks and not watch it again and leave it at that. The last season of Game of Thrones undid six other seasons of that show so hard that it's been 10 years and nobody wants anything to do with it. Yeah. It's a shame. See, Hobbit didn't have that effect. Nobody cared.

Right. Nobody cared. Right. Lord of the Rings, it's like, that's another Dark Souls thing, right? Where people are like, I identify as a Lord of the Rings personality. Yes. But even those people, because they'll ruin it for anybody. I mean,

you can, but you can't argue like it's phenomenal, right? Like I'm not even that big in Lord of the Rings, but like it's fantastic film franchise for any reason, like the story and the, just like the size of it and the practicality and all that. But it's just like,

it's, it's pretty iconic as it's good. Yeah. And the Hobbit is bad. it's just like, it's pretty iconic as it's good. Yeah. And The Hobbit is bad. It's just bad. All spectacle, nothing good. Well, it's also the most egregious,

right? I like to call it the Harry Potter effect. That's exactly what it is. I feel like Harry Potter was the first one to do it, at least the first well-known, where they just said, fuck this, we're making one book, two. Now, they did well-known where they just said, fuck this, we're making one book, two. Now, they did it with movies, say like Matrix, right?

Where they're like, two and three are going to be back-to-back. But you could still argue they were meant to be two movies. Right. And they just made them back-to-back. Right. Harry Potter just went, we're going to take this one thing and make it two. We're going to stretch it out for a little extra cash. And then everyone started doing it.

Yes. They did it with Twilight. They did it with Twilight. They did it. Yeah, I was with both. They did it with Twilight They did it with Twilight They did it with Twilight And They did it with That fucking Divergent series

Oh that's right And they fucking tanked themselves so they never finished it Because the first of the last two movies Didn't make any money And they're like oh well now we'll never know how it ends Eric's left I'll never know how it or when it diverges. You'll never.

What happened to four? Anyway, Zaxby's, I guess. I don't know. I do think. I really have nothing to say about this restaurant. They have a map up in the lobby that Nick and I were looking at. All their locations are in the southeast. Like the most west where it's like touching another state is Texas.

And then for some reason, just out in the middle of nowhere all by itself, Utah. Yeah. There's like one in Utah. We'll learn more about these in the fact section. Where is it in the southeast? Florida. Georgia. Okay.

Florida. Georgia was an easy one. Dump state. Dump state. Dump state. Yeah. Like that stuff. Yeah.

Okay. Not even places where you fly over. Places that you actively Fly around Or you enter the stupidity zone Yes You fly over but it scares the locals They're like what's this bird It's so high up

I'm sure there's one in Mobile that's also like City Hall That's where we'll be working soon Do you think there's any chicken On a council somewhere The honorary council. Do you think there's any chicken on a council somewhere? The honorary council. What do you think? Fried chicken sandwich? I was going to say, unfortunately, it's an actual chicken sandwich. Oh, yeah.

He abstains again. He always breaks the tie vote, but he always votes Republican. Chicken breaks the vote. Still somehow the chicken votes Republican. Oh, he's red from all this red Zaxby's sauce. The chicken has decided women can no longer vote in Alabama. Make this country great again.

Why did we elect the chicken sandwich to superior? How does it keep getting elected? We've got to put term limits on. Incumbency is really something. Imagine going to vote and it's like on the ballot it says chicken sandwich from Zaxby's and like an

actual person's name like Joe Johnson and it's like, but it's got a little star next to the chicken sandwich. It must be my guy. It must be pretty good. It must be my guy. sandwich it must be my guy I think what happened was probably you imagine somewhere someone did it as a goof like let's get chicken on the council as a mascot whatever

and it was like a throwaway thing but then designated survivor the 12 people above the chicken got wiped out oh fuck the chicken's in charge now. We can't undo it. The 11 other city council members in Mobile, Alabama all mysteriously died.

It wasn't mysterious. Heart attack. Eating too much Zaxby's. Plonged arteries. I was going to say they died in a weird pontoon boat accident. Right, but they were all ruled heart attacks. No, they were all ruled COVID deaths.

Add them to the conspiracy. I do my own research, and that's why I voted for this chicken sandwich. His track record speaks for itself. Chicken's just here for me. There's no ulterior motive. He tells it like it is. What is a Zaxby's? Jordan, so what's your past experience with Zaxby's?

The handful of years I lived in Georgia, it was one of the only places you could eat at. What? Because there was only like three restaurants, and if you wanted chicken on Sunday and the Chick-fil-A was closed, you go to Zaxby's. I remember it being pretty good,

and then trying it today, I was like, maybe it was because I was like 18. Oh, are you saying it improved? Like it aged like a fine wine? Remember what we were talking about last fortnight with eating Burger King as a kid? And then kind of like taking a step back

and then coming back to it to see if it really is? So it's kind of that. Well, either this doesn't bode well for Jordan's review or he's plotting some twists. Whoa! He's about to... I'll tell you for Jordan's review Or he's plotting some twists Whoa He's about to I'll tell you

Jordan's cared less and less as the episodes go on To start with going I don't like it Yeah It used to be It used to be cagey Right Well that's when the show was about

I still don't I just go Or what I do is I talk about it Jordan when you leave the room yeah I do because our like I try to keep the sanctity of our opinion to each other and to the audience where I'm like I could tell Nick I can tell Eric but I would never tell you I had no problem telling everyone what I thought about these mozzarella I couldn't I couldn't even get one because he kept fucking popping one left I I had there's ooh. Yeah that one fell out of his mouth

It was too fast it like caught a tooth and rolled back. Yeah, he was he was like sucking those in like mr. Bucket Mr. Bucket doesn't suck stuff in he spit stuff out minded He sucks stuff in, he spits stuff out. Mine did. Mr. Suck It? I think I was just going to leave that hole sitting somewhere collecting dust. No hole goes unfilled

in the Michael Jones house. I don't like this episode. It's something else. I'm going to mention Russia right here so we can just cut all this part out. We're heroes. It kind of rhymes with fun, but it's not fun.

Buckets of fun. Right, and then you fun. Oh, yeah. It's close. Buckets of gun. No. Cat or gun. Cat or gun. I forgot about cat or gun cat or gun um i forgot about somebody somebody messaged me that somewhere on social media i don't know somewhat recently and i went what oh yeah you said it i read it and i went is

this a threat oh oh cat or gun okay yeah no that makes sense do you think that that woman probably still works at yeah she might have two guns now that makes sense. Do you think that woman probably still works at... Yeah, she might have two guns now. She might have two cats. You think that was her first gun? I'm just saying in addition to the new gun. Oh, okay. She's gotten a new one.

She probably still works there. Do you think she's showing people? Do you think she's saying, do you want to see my new pet or my new toy still? The newness of it has worn off by now. Yeah, but that's why she probably got another one yeah she had to either get a new one or it's a new different thing like she's got a new motorcycle or something just to just to show someone a picture of your cat and then show someone a picture of your gun and you're a waitress at a restaurant. Having like distance from it now, that's fucking insane.

It was very insane. And it was also like we made a choice. Like we knew we wanted to see the cat if it meant not seeing the gun. We wanted the cat. We didn't want the gun. She showed us the gun anyway. Yeah, she really wanted us to see the gun. And then we went quickly.

We must leave. Anyway, bye. But don't let that. We must leave. Anyway, bye. Yep. But don't let that affect your food score. Oh, man. All right. So that's what we know about Zaxby's. Pretty much.

I think it's a place that we haven't really been to. Nick, have you been to Zaxby's before? Wow. Now you know we're really. He said no, by the way. Yeah. Now you know we're really in uncharted territory. He did scream at the number of sauces.

Correct. So many sauces. Yes. They had like 14 or something. If you look at the receipt taped to the bag, it's just sauce, sauce, sauce, sauce. Does it say which kinds? You read them out, baby. Oh, God.

Okay. Well, this. Oh, Jesus Christ. Get around like half way through there. Well, God. There's like a thousand of each. Yeah. So, all right.

Let's see. We got Zach's sauce. Got it. Which Zach Bagans makes himself. Okay. It helps him. Suck it down. It's made with his screams.

He makes it and he keeps it inside his Mr. Bucket. And they scoop it out. They scoop it out. We got ranch sauce. Yeah. We got wimpy sauce. Mm-hmm. Nuclear sauce. That's how you pronounce it. Yeah, that's right. ranch sauce. Yeah. We got wimpy sauce. Mm-hmm. Nuclear sauce.

That's how you pronounce it. Yeah, that's right. TT sauce. Excuse you? It just says TT. Is that tongue torch? Yes, it is. TT.

Insane sauce. Uh-huh. Southwest and spicy sauce. Mm-hmm. And then there's some chicken in the middle. Right. Spicy. Yep.

Buffalo garlic. Mm-hmm. And that's it. Yeah the middle. Right. Spicy. Yep. Buffalo garlic. And that's it. Yeah. So we got a lot. We got a lot. I mean, quantity-wise, we got like six of each of those, right? But I thought Nick was the one screaming that there was like 14 sauces. Yes, correct.

And they really, if you look at it on the bottom, they gave us one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Eight sauces. That's about half the sauces. Yeah. He's crossed his arms. Yeah, he's six, seven, eight. Eight sauces? It's about half the sauces. Yeah. He's crossed his arms. Yeah, he's like leaning back and piss. Are you mad at Zaxby's or Eric?

Kind of undecided. Undecided. I like that they don't label them. Yeah. Oh yeah. They're also, yeah. Some are packaged in regular Zaxby's stuff. Some are put into tiny plastic ramekins by men who work at a Zaxby's. So which one was the soy sauce one?

You're going to give out eight fucking sauces and go, what am I eating? Southwest and spicy. I think it's Southwest and spicy. Southwest Asia? Yeah. That's for you to decide. Yep.

Uh-huh, uh-huh. What was your favorite sauce? None of them, to be honest. I guess the Zax one. Uh-huh. Oh, their classic? Yeah, that makes sense. Just making sure.

I didn't go ahead. I was reading something for one second, and the show came to a grinding halt. We asked a bunch of people around the table, asking what your favorite sauce was. I wanted to make sure that you were good. But it wasn't important, and we needed to stop the recording again.

I mean, it is, but I don't care. No, we can stop down for Sarah again. That's fine. That's who's... You let me know. We can stop down for Sarah again. This was my friend Trevor. He's asking if you wanted to hang out later? No. Play some video games? No. He's like technically like... He got like... I've been here longer

but he got a promotion before me so it's kind of a rocky situation. How many? It's my day job. Is that kind of? Well, it's weird. It's like, he like. Is it awkward around him now?

He jumped the ladder. Well, you're talking about jumping the ladder, but you've been here a lot longer than he has. How many promotions have you gotten since you've been here? None. Whoa. You've gotten no promotions. No promotions. Since you've been here.

Yeah. And you've been here for how long? Of any kind. Longer than anybody in this room. They didn't even give you a deal on something? Like that kind of promotion? They didn't. Like a two for one?

Yeah. Well, when you buy two, get one free at store.roosterteeth.com sometimes. They covered moving expenses, so that was kind of cool. Oh, that's pretty nice. That was a promotional offer. And they did that.

That's weird. They didn't do that for me. It was weird. They did that right away? Like the first time they said, hey, we want you to work here, they said,

let me cover your moving expenses? Maybe, I don't know. But also, it makes sense they didn't do it for you. Jordan, how many promotions have you gotten you've been here a while?

A lot. Three. Wow. Give or take. And how many other people's jobs have you gotten? I'll be honest. I've been offered a lot.

You look like a man who can do more. Workloads looking pretty light, Jordan. See, I just funnel all mine into just like basic. Right. I'm just called fat in the just like basic. Right. I'm just called Fat Schlub. Yeah. That's my job. Smart.

This guy's like producer. Fat Schlub. You know, creator, writer. Right. They just funnel this. This is a real Fat Schlub show. Yeah. I mean, it's just getting me fatter.

Big time. Anyway. Yep. I'm pissed. Yeah, I get it. I've been slighted. No. Have you been like sabotaging his career? No awards. Oh, that's right. No awards pissed. Yeah, I get it. I've been slighted. No awards. Have you been sabotaging his career?

No awards. Oh, that's right. No awards also. No ceremony. No fanfare. Yep. Like getting a sub in a tub at Jersey Mike's. That's funny.

That happened to a friend of mine once. I think I saw a cartoon about it. Let's hear the haiku. I think I saw a cartoon about it. Let's hear the haiku. Chicken, sauce, french fries, styrofoam, litters, the quad. Late for class again. Oh, no.

Wow. That seems like it's coming from a very personal place. It's just, we were talking about this before we recorded, is that this kind of place is just ubiquitous on college campuses. It's like where they all start out. Now I know why I don't know what it is. That's right. The proximity to books are too close. It's exactly the same food and restaurant layout as Raising Cane's, which is right on the UT campus.

They're all the same place with a slightly different sauce. Yeah. It's all like chicken and sauce. What more do you want? Yeah. You don't have a lot of money. You're going to college. That's exactly what it is.

Nick is giving two thumbs up emphatically. Yeah. How often do you go to like Raising Cane's? How often? Yeah. Have you been there? I guess. I have been there.

Yes. Okay. Many a time. Do you go a bunch of times? I would say a, yes. Okay. Many a time. Do you go a bunch of times? I would say a reasonable amount. Okay. You know, not too crazy. They do have the same fries, though.

See? They always have the crinkle cut fries. Do you collect the sauces? This might be a controversial opinion, but I'm not much of a sauce girl. Wow! Nick is pissed. Was that not on the interview questionnaire? That should have been number one.

I'll be honest, he shrugged as if a real response was like, yeah, it's crazy, but I'm not going to let it bother me. You know what I mean? He wasn't mad, but he still, he was kind of like, he went, it's okay to be wrong, was his reaction. I'm not going to hold it against you, but fuck you, is kind of what his face said Like, I'm not going to hold it against you, but fuck you. Is kind of what his face said. And I'm here for it.

Well, that's good. Now we have Nick's feelings on this subject. Thank you, Kat. We got the college perspective, and then it's like, I don't really like sauce. But then he reeled it back in. Yeah, and then it was like...

He let his mask slip for a second and almost started killing and eating people like Jake. But then he went, no, no, be cool, be cool. It's that thing where he's going to be driving home and he's going to be thinking about it. He's going, I don't even care. I don't even care. I don't even care.

It's not even a big deal. The hallmark of someone not caring is them saying it over and over again. Fast, right on top of it. And loud. I don't even care. It's not even a big deal. It's not even a big deal.

I don't even care. It's stupid. It's whatever. I don't even care. So that's going to be Nick driving home while he's sucking down this bag of sauce that we all left over. Man, that's exciting.

I'm ready to learn about Zaxby's. Now that I have the sheet from my pocket. Uh-huh. $60 still on the table. Yeah, money talks. How do you think chicken sandwich got elected? $60. I'm throwing a cup of water into the race.

I back this cup of water with $40 to grassroots campaign. Deputy mayor. Every $20 will help this cup of water be Beto's lieutenant governor. I'm putting this cup of water in. Here comes the blue wave. Come on in. It's in a clear on in join the losing effort whatever money you can give

when he's elected governor he's making marijuana legal I read that today immediately voted oh no early so early twice scream from my car I was screaming in the school

going let me vote and they kept saying sir it's a school day I'm ready and I was going let me vote I want my weed Beto promised me

weed I need to chill out anyway the very first Zaxby's opened in 1990 in Statesboro, Georgia. Founder and CEO Zach McElroy built the concept around indescribably good chicken

and the unrivaled flavor of Zach's sauce. Unrivaled flavor and indescribably good. Damn. You guys nailed that together. This fact was taken directly from the Zaxby's website. I don't even know which sauce was Zaxby's. Like in this bag.

I don't know which one it was. It was the one on the sandwich. There was sauce on the sandwich. Yeah, there was. Cap pointed at the bag and I was sauce on the sandwich. Yeah. Yeah, there was. Kat pointed at the bag and I was like, no, that's a bag, not sauce. Now I know why she's

not into it. Well, she was saying wimpy. No, I got that. I thought she was just like, I eat paper. I thought that was weird.

That sauce is really dry. It's all wadded up. What a statement. They're still working on it. That's all wadded up. What a statement. They're still working on it. That's why they're still around. Zaxby's has over a dozen signature sauces, which is too many for a normal person,

but probably not enough for Nick, who took time to do his own research and let us know yesterday how many sauces were on the menu, even though no one asked. He said, quote, holy hell, Zaxby's has 14 different sauces, end quote. That's true. No one replied. That's also true.

At this point, it's just like we don't even like, you know, give him the satisfaction of being like, whoa, sauce. I didn't even give him a lit even. And that's my bare, that's my least effort. I'm gonna start just doing thumbs up. Yeah, yeah. It truly was him screaming in the void, holy hell! And everyone just sat quietly. Everyone

hearing him and going like, yeah. He did his own research on the number of sauces. Yeah, and then we only got eight. He's shaking his head. He doesn't even care. Don't worry, he'll have his wife. on the number of sauces. Yeah, and then we only got eight. And we only got eight. He's shaking his head. He's mad. He doesn't even care. Don't worry. He'll have his wife swing by later.

That's right. He's going to go to Zaxby's. He's clapping. He's going to go to Zaxby's for dinner. Hey, what can I get you? All 14 sauces, please. Do you want food with that? No.

I said what I said. I've already described what food I want. I'm willing to pay five cents a sauce and not a penny more. They're 39 cents each. What? Oh, man. Can you believe that? No.

Yeah, there you go. Unbelievable. Inflation, man. Even though we'd never heard of them before, even though Jordan clearly did,

Zaxby's somehow ended up in the Xbox 360 era game Midnight Club Los Angeles, the fourth and final installment of the Rockstar Game Series. Did Zaxby's somehow ended up in the Xbox 360 era game Midnight Club Los Angeles, the fourth and final installment of the Rockstar game series. Did Zaxby's kill Midnight Club? We have no way of knowing, but is there a way to bring back that ping pong game? Yeah, play it.

Don't you want to play a new PS5 generation with DualSense controls playing ping pong that Rockstar made for some reason? Go ahead and just port it directly. It would look just as good. Well, you can play it in GTA Online. That's why they... You can play that? Ping pong? Yeah. They just copy-pasted the code.

Is it just the game? Ping pong? Yeah. No, I mean, the video game. No, you don't, like, walk up to your apartment and, like and go into your living room and then play the game Ping Pong by Rockstar. That would be awesome. Is that really what you do? You don't go to a place and then play Ping Pong in the game? You plug in your Xbox 360 for some reason.

You have to go into the closet and take the Xbox 360 out. It's like in Uncharted when he plays Crash Bandicoot. Wow. Was that good? Very good. Thank you. He does, though. He does.

I do remember that. That's Uncharted 4. He just starts playing Crash Bandicoot, and I remember playing it going, what happened? But then you play it. Yes, and so I just play him

playing Crash Bandicoot. But I played it and was like earnestly playing Crash Bandicoot and going, what's happening? You need to play it like he would play it, though.

So not playing it like yourself right I did a good job I did a good job yeah yeah you beat it in that thing yeah get all the apples or whatever yeah what do they eat what does he eat was a bandicoot eat wampa fruit oh wampa fruit yeah um I will say we

saw uncharted saw with Eric yep and there's let's crash bandicoot is it there's well not that I saw it with Eric. And there's... It was Crash Bandicoot, isn't it? Well, not that I saw, but maybe. There's a point where Nathan Drake opens a suitcase and there's a Naughty Dog sticker in it.

And I was sitting next to Eric and I went, Whoa! Out loud in Alamo Draft House. I took a risk. And then, yeah, I was going to say, shortly thereafter, a server came up to me And then, yeah, I was going to say, shortly thereafter, a server came up to me and said,

sir, please keep it down. I giggled my ass off. I thought I could get away with it. It was, for a quiet movie theater in a scene where Tom Holland is opening an orphan's trunk. Yeah.

And like, and you just hear, like if you're just sitting away from Michael, you just hear, whoa. If I'm three rows up, I'm like,

that was weird, but I'll let that slide. That carried me. If that was anyone else in the theater, I still would have laughed. I would have been like, oh, Crash Bandicoot noise. I mean,

only because Eric was sitting right next to me. I thought it was good. Oh, man. Anyway, something about facts. With more than 900 locations in 17 states, Zax fans, with a Z. Is that what they're called? Yes. Know that Zaxby's is mostly located in the south where the restaurant sponsors everything

from colleges to NASCAR drivers. So, if you're looking to get ahead in life, come to Zaxby's University and learn how to drive a race car in Mobile, Alabama, a place used exclusively as a punchline, you dumb fucking hick. Damn. We did it before

we even got to the fact. I'm so thrilled. When you said Mobile, Alabama, I was elated. It is the biggest punchline place. It really is. It's perfect. It's perfect.

It's perfect. Oh, it's great. It's called Mobile for crying out loud. But everyone's stuck there. Right? It's even worse. Immobile Alabama. They're just constantly like walking around going, the irony.

The irony. I don't think they know what that means. I can't leave. Right. Why? Just go that way. Have you ever been to New Orleans? It's like Eric screaming in Amarillo, just leave.

Just go. Go anywhere. He kept saying go any direction and just go until you're somewhere else. I just abandoned this city. I can't imagine that you go to Amarillo, you stop, Go any direction and just go until you're somewhere else. Abandon this city. I can't imagine that you go to Amarillo, you stop, and then you go, ah, we did it. I made it. It's also very easy to escape.

It's all open. Incredible. There's no wall. There's nothing but roads. There's no mountains keeping you in. There's a historic road that goes right through it that you don't see anywhere else. I'm stuck in the neighborhoods. It's just a street that goes right through it that you don't see anywhere else. I'm stuck in the neighborhoods. It's just a street that goes through it. There's no tough terrain.

It's all flat. It's like not being able to leave a saloon town. When you go, well, the town's there and there. There's one single road. And then kind of just the rest of the earth all around it. Big Tex doesn't climb down and go, where do you think you're going when you try to escape Amarillo? It's like when there's a blockade

in a space movie and you can't quite understand it because you're in space. You have access to Z-axis. You can't be, unless they've surrounded you, it's kind of hard. It's like, it's a planet.

Yeah. Go up. I don't know, go more up. Go up. Go upper. Go don't know. Go more up. Go up. Go upper. Go upper until you're up above them because you're in space and then go down. And when you're behind them. So people of Amarillo, rise up.

I'm just saying, go up, go down, any direction. Just don't walk into a building and you're fine. You're going gonna get tricked. There's gonna be somebody in Amarillo with a crooked finger going, come on in. Don't trust them. If like two weeks from now, there's just a news headline that's like

Amarillo, Texas. Totally abandoned. Everyone got up and left. Total ghost town. Our heroics would be even more magnified, I feel like. Even in these times. We saved, especially in these times. We not only saved everyone in Amarillo,

but untold future generations. That's true. Like anyone who would have been born there, anyone else who would have stumbled there. Their parents should be like, hey, son, you know why Face Jam are heroes? Because you didn't grow up in Amarillo.

If they wanted to do something with the now ghost town of Amarillo, you could just put prisoners in it as it is. It feels like an escaped prison town. But I will say, going back to the not very secure, they could just leave. I agree. However,

there's something going on where I think you put the prisoners not very secure. They could just leave. Right, I agree. However, they'll drop some walls. Right, right. But there's something going on where I think you put the prisoners in Amarillo and they'll go. It's like a Harry Potter spell. Yeah.

Like when you get near something you're not supposed to see, you get confused and walk away. I think it's like- Does that one register? That's right. I think it's like a good place, bad place situation

where it's like, you don't know that you're in hell. Yeah, but she figured it out pretty quick. But it's like good enough that you're like, I'm not going to go anywhere. People of Amarillo, realize you're in the bad place. What? We can't send Kristen Bell. Right.

No, no, no. She's too smart. She's too smart. She's smart. I think they should just add more of those cars Stuck in the ground Imagine if they had six or seven Instead of four They'd take over the world

That's like, NATO keeps an eye on that They're like, we'll check the nukes And four cars only In the ground Dude, the next Kingsman movie, they're gonna like Somebody's gonna get in that car and it's going to go underground. He's going to be like, welcome to the hive.

And then they're like, Amarillo is the biggest cover-up in United States history. It's perfect. No one would suspect. That's why they made it a tourist trap. No one would suspect Nicholas Cage is down there with the Declaration of Independence. That's why they made it a tourist trap. You wouldn't look at people coming and going in Amarillo, Texas. They're all tourists. Some of them are kingsmen.

Think about it. Wow. And the final fact we're still doing. In October of 2019, a man was diagnosed with hepatitis A after eating at a Zaxby's in South Carolina. This actually isn't the worst thing that can happen to you at Zaxby's, a restaurant where the co-founder's NASCAR-driving son was shot dead by police after he

attacked his ex-wife with a hatchet. Truly, a dark day for Zax fans everywhere. I know this story. Do you really? I remember it happened like in November of last year. It did, yeah. It was very recently. He was actually shot by the man he was attacking. Oh, really? It happened like in November of last year It was very recently He was actually shot by the man he was attacking Oh really?

His ex-wife was with like another man And he was like Not on my watch apparently And busted in there with a hatchet And the guy shot him And also accidentally shot the woman I did hear about this Minus the Zaxby

relation, but also then does that mean Eric's fact is wrong? That he was shot dead by police and not the guy? Or did they all team up? Misinformation. Yeah, I thought this happened at a Zaxby's and cops shot this dude. No. Oh. Honestly though,

probably two different stories. Probably two different stories. The guy be. Probably two different stories. The guy could have two sons who drove a NASCAR. Same guy. Same guy. Can you believe they were brothers? They both attacked their ex-wives with hatchets. The guy, my brother died holding this hatchet.

It's cursed. Send me to him. Just another day in the Townley household. He looked at the hatchet on the ground and it started speaking to him. And he was like, oh, pick it up? Oh, I see. Guys, is the hatchet speaking to you too? Do you guys hear that?

The fuck? Visit the cars. And somehow we made it through the facts. Oh, man. I'm always tickled when there's a fact related to NASCAR or something. Or someone getting killed. Also, it's just funny how often it happens. He just took a beat. Well, I mean, it is about people getting killed.

He liked NASCAR. I can like the murder. Yeah, I can end up on Dateline. Exactly. It is about people getting killed. He liked NASCAR. I can like the murder. I don't, I don't, I don't, exactly. I don't endorse killing, but I like the stories if it's already happened. Right.

Right. If there's no more killing going on, I wouldn't, I wouldn't like start a campaign to start killing again. Right. But, but they're already making it. I'm going to watch it. If all killing stopped and then you consumed every story about every killing,

you would not be like, I'm all out of content. I need more killings. Right. I don't think. And that's why. You got to cross that bridge when you get there. Exactly. Right.

Hopefully we don't get there. Look, we don't want people to die, but also at the same time, we'll consume this content. And that's why you'll never see Face Jam singing Imagine by John Lennon in multiple parts in different videos. We will not do that. And that's our solemn vow. I don't even know what you're talking about.

You don't remember that? I certainly won't do it. This was like at the beginning of COVID and it was like it's all these celebrities on cell phones singing one line of Imagine by John Lennon. It starts with Gal Gadot who should not have started the whole thing.

But they're all out of time from the music and not very good singers. But they're all out of time from the music, and not very good singers. And they're all in their mansions. Like, their palatial estates. We should do that. No, we shouldn't. Oh, that's right. You guys don't have mansions. I was gonna say, we should get palatial estates. We'll all go over

Nick's. Oh, okay, cool. He's got a couple of foyers we can shoot in. Foyers. They look totally different, so they won't know that we're in the same house. Oh, absolutely. He has a couple of foyers we can shoot in. They look totally different, so they won't know that we're in the same house. Oh, absolutely. He's got to have a lot of options to get into his house.

He's got to take care of his wife and his kid and his dog with people eyes and then his regular dog. This all makes sense. We'll go to your palatial estate. What's nice about today is it's a fucking Friday. Yeah, baby.

Usually this is a real Tuesday turd. Yep. No, this is a Friday fun day cut and run. Yeah, I was a- Where we may secretly not have as much work as we thought, and we all strategically didn't tell anyone. We booked off a good six hours for today. For a reason.

And then the back half kind of fell apart a little bit and we went look, look, look. What are we going to do? Change the calendar? It's so last minute. I don't want to disrupt other people's schedule. It kind of fell apart completely. The only five people I think that know are the five people in this room.

Quiet. Good thing this isn't being recorded. Hey, don't worry. Good thing this isn't being listened to by anybody that matters here also it we already did it yeah yeah so it doesn't matter yeah i can't stop uh so we had to record two on it we had to record on a different day i would be more trouble than you guys though i don't have a single motion that's true um there's some stuff that's being shot next week. We were gonna shoot some new Face Jam stuff this week. You're talking about with a camera? Right. Not with...

No. He got excited. I think Kat just held up a gun. Oh, no. It wasn't execution style. She held it up. I think she was shooting birds. It was really great. She held it up and looked at it. She practiced really good gun safety. I think she might be

assassinating Nick from below. Nick's above execution time. They're shooting each other. Is Kat and Nick spy versus spy? It's a real X versus sever situation. It looked like it's the first time she'd wielded a handgun. She just looked at it and, oh, yeah. The power can be mine. I don't even know what I was going to say.

I forgot what I was going to say. It must be Blake from State Farm. Oh, shit. This isn't coming out for such a long time. What do you mean? Usually, it's that we record on Tuesday and then it comes out the next week. Ten days before this airs. That feels like a long time before we get together. Based on what we had to cut from the last episode, three days was too much.

Did we cut something? We have six really good minutes that will never see the light of day. It depends on how certain geopolitical struggles play out. Also, in our defense, too, as stated in the cut conversation, but boy, I hope this doesn't age poorly. As stated in the cut conversation. Correct, uh-huh. But boy, I hope this doesn't age poorly. We were very deliberate. And then two days later, it aged very poorly.

And then we went, let's go ahead and just. Yeah, we got it. Here's what people won't listen to. The part where we say, this is what day it is right now. We don't know what happens. And then they'll conveniently ignore that part and then my head will be on a spike. It's not any of the jammers who would do that.

It's anyone else. Also, I will say, though, again, without getting into it, in there, I think you can say, I had a call for peace. I agree. I felt without going into it, I offered my children as peacemakers. It sounds like you're going into it. Right, yeah. No, that's interesting to hear.

I'm just going to say I was going to try and fix this mess, and then it is unfixable. The solution being as simple as you can't hold a gun if you're clapping. Jesus Christ. That I don't remember, and I feel like I cut it from my brain, too. I don't know what he's talking about. I thought you were... Okay, well moving on. Don't worry, that'll be cut out too.

Oh my God. Maybe six minutes will show up. Maybe at RTX we can have people listen to the six minutes. We'll make everyone sit in a room for six minutes. We'll turn all the lights off. Everyone has to close their eyes to recreate what the show is. And then we can play six minutes of uninterrupted audio from February.

The convention center to like cut the lights. No. You think that would be a safety? No, I don't think we could. I think we tell them. You're right. They're a service.

Nick, Nick started clapping. And look, can't hold a gun. Can't hold a gun. And if they, if they don't turn him off, Nick starts shooting him out. No! Now they're off forever.

Your choice. You can make this permanent or temporary. They just say no and it's a guy in a monkey mask. You just go, give it to him. And it's a guy in a monkey mask with his fingers shooting him out. Yeah, light him up. Nothing happens. He's just silent.

Are you sorry yet? And then someone screams, who are you? Yeah. And then I, because he can't talk, I look at them and I say, he's vengeance. Yes. And then he shows his monkey teeth. Man. All right.

So that was a very short spit and silly. Let's learn about the sandwich. Yep. There's been a lot of spit and silly. Yeah, we've been spitting. Because there's not much. Spitting nonstop. Yeah.

There's not much Zagsby. Unless you want to get to Zach's Bagans. No, I don't think so. I think we're good on that. Yeah. Zagsby Signature Club Sandwich. Who doesn't like a club remix? Especially one with zach sauce registered trademark

try our signature filet that is double hand breaded with our extra crispy breading and dressed for the club with our famous zach sauce pickles and now with american cheese and bacon between a toasted split top bun all right quick question nope that's not what we ate. Nope. No, not even close. Online ordered it, deliberately made sure it's that one, didn't get it. We got about 60 or 70% of these ingredients. Did not get the American cheese and the bacon. Do you think it really would have changed the sandwich that much? If anything, I think it's better without it.

What? Also, I really like how fun this copy is. Yeah. Dressed for the club. Yeah, they're a little too cute. I don't know that I like it. I'm sure they'll ruin it with the press material. Here it comes.

With the launch of our new Signature Club sandwich, we created our own club remix of the Signature sandwich and turned it up a notch, says Zaxby's CMO Joel Bulger. Joel Bulger. We're going to the club, Joel Bulger. What's a CMO? A chief marketing officer.

Okay. He said in a press release, knowing our fans, you're right. Told you. Oh my god. We are giving them something additional to rave about and announce a well-kept secret. Our signature sandwich is officially here to stay as a permanent menu

item. Why are we reviewing it? Exactly. None of this makes any sense. Exactly. You picked it. Because this is the only place that I could find that mentioned anything about permanence being on the menu. There's nowhere else that I could find that said it was permanence being on the menu. There's nowhere else that I could find that said it was a permanent menu item.

I don't think it... It's straight from the horse's mouth. I don't think it is. This guy doesn't know what he's saying. He was telling me Joel Bolger doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. So there you go. That's why I included that. Fucking crazy. I'm just gonna call him Jolger for short. Oh, shit.

He gets like Joker Joker Does he have a joker voice I? Think this is who Jared Leto was trying to be a suicide squad launch of our Are you damaged I'm joker Instead of damage says chicken says chicken across his forehead. It says chicken, but it's misspelled. It says chumpkin. Chimpkin?

So that's the Zaxby's sandwich. That's a Zaxby's guarantee. That's a sandwich we didn't eat. A sandwich we didn't eat, that's not limited time. Right. Or is. Or is. Who knows?

Exactly. My time is certainly limited. Keep your finger on the pulse of that news. We might want to check my pulse. Really? You might be done. I want bi-weekly updates on this. You okay?

Did the chicken put you night-night? No. Are you picking him up? He's really far away. He kept telling me go further. No. Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did.

No. Earlier, he kept going, He said back away from Eric. No. Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did. No. Earlier, he kept going, back up. Back up. You're too fast. He said back away from Eric. I'm trying to back up. Should we all back up? How's this?

Is this better? Is it more focused? Is this a better podcast? What if I create a tunnel of sound? He knows that he's cutting this out. He knows when we are sleeping. He doesn't like this. He knows when we are sleeping. He doesn't like this. He knows when we have sauce.

He's gonna take it from our pockets cause he's the sauce boss. I picked up a roll of toilet paper to talk through the tube. That's a paper towel. Not toilet paper. You wipe your ass with that? Seems rough.

I'm in hell. Somebody stuffed a bunch of trash in it though what oh that's Jack it's a friend of Michael's you're a friend friends with a trash stuffer

what's in there is um it's Rice Krispie no is there um what is this let's take a look here oh yeah it's Rice Krispie

yeah I don't so this guy that I know yeah he's uh shit that's crazy he's he just he just ran a marathon

and then a half marathon this is the leftovers from doping oh oh didn't you watch a video recently of a guy who was

who was like he hides him in rice krispies I watch a lot of videos that makes sense was that him no I don't think so okay no this guy was jacked

yeah no and that was jack different oh okay yeah i'm learning how to take human growth hormone uh are you supposed to drop the needle on the floor oh man the worst part is after that he drops the needle and then the whole video is uncut except after that part where he goes and picks it up there's a cut and then he goes oh change the needle you know and clearly didn't and and it's like no you didn't he made a cut to make it look like he changed the needle no he didn't is this is this how alex rodriguez got the yeah absolutely accidentally took the oh no the needle was on the ground and i sat down on it. Oh, no.

That happens. You got to check your seats. You got to make sure you're not sitting on needles. People love to give away drugs. Yeah. You know what I mean? So he's trying to like- It's the best. Trick your kids into like eating drug-filled candy.

Because that's what people with drugs do. They give them away. They just give them away. That's exactly- You know when you go to hardcore- Well, this is expensive. You know when you go to hardcore- This is expensive.

Let me waste this on a kid. And I need it, and I'm an addict, and I'm going to be sick if I don't take this. Time to sneak it into someone's food. I'm going to give this... Let me see. I love doing this, and I spent a lot of money for it. I bet a couple of 11-year-olds would really enjoy this. Watch this.

I would get nothing out of it because I won't even see them take it. Yeah, what the fuck? People who freak out about that stuff clearly have never thought about the mindset of a drug user. Goddamn. Have you seen the people you're describing? They're like robbing their own family to pay for it. They don't even have houses to trick-or-treat to. All right, well, that's just a low blow.

Sorry. And they're fat asses. Like Nick. See, now that crosses the line. I was very clear about this man who, he gave me thumbs up. Now he's just attacking people in general and that's not cool. I'm fine with that. I think it's alright.

No, I mean, that's fine. You're also human trash. I just want to defend the jammers here. Hey, jammers, there they go again. Attacking you for your rights. I say

laugh and grow fat. Consume what you will. Think not of what Jordan has to say. Speaking of what Jordan has to say. Take all the drugs you will. Think not of what Jordan has to say. Speaking of what Jordan has to say. Take all the drugs you want. Give them to your kids? I won't give them to you.

No, keep them. Keep them for yourselves. Don't ever give them to children. It's an epidemic! And we did it. We're done. That's great. Jordan, what did you think of the food? Oh my god, I only have eight minutes. No, we have to do snack attacks still.

This is going to be a fast final third of the episode. Is it? Do they usually have chicken sandwiches? They call it a signature club chicken sandwich, but I always think of them as like a chicken tenders place.

I mean, you're the only person that's been there. I was wondering if Eric and your research... What? I always think of them as like a chicken tenders place. I mean, you're the only person that's been there. I don't know. I was wondering if Eric and your research. They didn't give us our chicken tenders. What? We got tenders? I ordered chicken tenders. They didn't give them to us.

Check the receipt. Check the receipt. How the fuck do you realize that right now? Because I didn't think about it until you just said that. Hang on, hang on. We got fingers. That's it. Cheddar bites.

Fingers. There's cheddar bites. There's fries. That's what we didn't get. I knew we were. Ten fingers with a Z? I knew we were light on something. See? All right. Hold on. There's fries. That's what we didn't get. I knew we were... Ten fingers with a Z? I knew we were light on something. See?

All right, hold on. Stop the recording. We'll drive back up there. Are you sure it's not just like ten fingers? Not like chicken fingers? The guy, when he handed me this stuff, he did do that. They're trying to get rid of a Jake situation? If they put one finger in each order,

everyone will unknowingly eat this man. Well, I'm not surprised we didn't get it after the fact that we didn't get the right food. And only ate sauces. How do they know which ones I want to use? As far as chicken sandwiches go, it's very comparable to every chicken place's chicken sandwich.

Like Chick-fil-A and Popeye's and even Raising Cane's. So it's not any different. It's not any better. It's not any worse than that kind of thing. But it doesn't taste as good as I remembered it when I was 18 or whatever. So I think it's perfectly down in the middle.

I think it's a 50. Okay. 50. It's interesting that Jordan knowingly,ly he's like it's not as good as i remember 50 i think he's still got burger king madness i think i i agree 50 i think is high for i think it sucked really i don't think it's anywhere near as good as the places you said like when you said chick-fil-a or like i think of like Wendy's way better. What am I missing in the new, I didn't say Wendy's. Whoa,

sir. Nothing's better than Wendy's. But like what am I missing with like this compared to like any other? To me, it had less flavor. Just the chicken in general had less flavor. The bun also sucked. I was going to ask about that bun too. And mine, maybe it was

just cooked weird, but it was like chewy. Yeah. It wasn't like soft and then hot on the inside. It was kind of like, I don't want to exaggerate and say like rubbery, but like it was like. That's what those tasted like, the fucking cheddar bites. It was like I would bite it and it would not bite off clean. I don't know. I was eating it going,

this isn't a top quality chicken sandwich. And so I, in a shocking twist, I'm just going to throw it out here. I don't think any of those other places I listed are top quality chicken sandwiches. No, but I think all of them were better. I think easily any of those you just mentioned, I did not.

I thought like, yeah, that's fine. And I would not call this fine. I would call this not good. I did not. I thought like yeah that's fine and I would not call this fine. I would call this not good. I did not like it. I was like I didn't even fucking eat it. I only ate like half of it. Look at that. I wasn't a fan of it. I'm going to give it a he went half.

25. I think you got the one with the finger in it. I don't know. Honestly a finger might have given it a 30. Finger would have had some flavor. It would have been salty or something, I imagine. It's a 37.5. I was surprised as like a chicken place with like, usually when you get a fat chicken breast, right,

it's going to be juicier, better than like one of the patties. And I just, it let me down. Also, I don't even know what the fuck I ate. I don't know what the fuck we were supposed to eat. I don't know what sauce I used. I don't know what sauce we didn't get. The whole goddamn thing was a mess. It was a goddamn shit show,

and it's like 25 fucking minutes away. It's a Zaxby's in the fucking suburbs, like the town outside of Austin. Yeah, that's a real stretch to call it Austin. Yeah. It's fucking bullshit deals i wanted to try something dirty ass flugerville i wanted to try everything's gray we'd never done zaxby's we talked about it for a while it really like we were talking about it when we like right

before we started you were out of the room and i said that this was like thoughtless food this is like i sat here before we started and i just went like what like what's been happening did we did actually say that he's not like it was sat down and he went like, what, like what's been happening? Did we actually say that? He's not like, it was sat down and he was saying, what are we doing? What's happening? Yeah.

It really like what to say. It was like the opposite of deja vu where like, it wasn't like, Oh, I've been to this place before. It was like, how did I get here? And what's occurring?

You were like, I've never been to this place. How do I have food from there? It was really weird. Highway hypnosis all the way home. It really was like, I, I don't know. That was, I thought it was a whack. Yeah. I,. Highway hypnosis all the way home. It really was. I don't know. I thought it was a whack restaurant.

I didn't like it. I did not really enjoy it. Like I said, it wasn't awful. 37.5 though is fair. I'm shocked you gave it a 50. I got no qualms with that score though. I'm shocked you gave it a 50. That's a crazy number. Especially for Jordan. They just all get lumped together in my head. Again, I feel like

even you knowing there's bias and you trying to avoid it, you still gave it to it. Which is fine. It's a psychosis. Hey, I was biased. I'm just saying. That's what it is, you know? As long as you know about it.

What are we attacking for snacking? Eric's handed me a ransom note. Snack attack. Kat is now pointing a gun at Michael. Oh, no! No! I think she hit two. Holy shit.

Dear Face Jam crew, growing up in Wisconsin, I was very familiar with dodging the cow pies in the cattle pasture. Sorry, there's some odd spacing going on here. Right. It's odd spacing and selective cursive, which is confusing to me. Might be a ransom note. No, I mean, it's like regular alphabet, but the Ds are cursive. Oh, that's fine. It's very confusing.

Anyway, poop in the pasture. The small town that I live Yeah. Baraboo Candy Company that has redefined how Wisconsinites feel about the term cow pie. I hope you guys enjoy these as much as we do.

Swezback. Fert. Thank you, Swezback. Baraboo Candy Company. Fert. Baraboo Wisconsin. We have some other things also, but we're just gonna rate

the cow pie. Hey, I appreciate it. Chill with those crazy Ds. Yeah, what's going on? I mean, like, look. Look at the... And then... Not even... No, yeah, pretty much all of them. the cow pie. Hey, I appreciate it. Chill with those crazy Ds. Yeah, what's going on? I mean, like, look. And then, not even, no, yeah, pretty much all of them. Look at the Ds. That's some serial killer stuff.

Yes, it's the D, and then it goes up and comes back down, but it has a loop and swoosh. It's like he's tried to unlearn cursive because it's worthless. Right, and the D is the last remaining letter. So we have cow pies

We have a couple of other candies that they sent to but I just want to review the cow pie I want you guys to go to that. We'll get into this one after it's funny because it's shaped like poop Is it waka waka? I'll be the judge of that It's not shaped like poop at all. I think it's supposed to be shaped like cow poop. I mean I guess I guess they're like that there I Feel like let me open it okay. I mean, I guess. I guess they're like that. I feel like, hang on, let me open it. I feel like I feel like, I mean, it's wrapped in wrapped in wrapped. So it's milk

chocolate, pecans, and caramel. Yeah. I feel like it does actual cow shit a little bit of a disservice. Like, if I saw this on the ground, I'd want to eat this. And I don't want to eat cow shit, right? So that to me doesn't look like it. You know, you know what looks like something they call it a cow pie They're trying to like

Rebrand try to trick you into eating shit They're trying to rebrand the turn telling you if I'm gonna eat something that's either a piece of shit Uh-huh or something else right wanted to look like it. Okay It's like when this little mutant ate a bunch of dirt. You're mowing through this piece of shit. That dirt looked so good. This guy, I've caught him eating dirt since. I would never. Because that dirt he loved it. We have a candy company

in Austin called Lambs. They make these. Oh, do they really? Oh, I didn't know that. They call them longhorns. Not allowed. Oh. This is very good. Yeah. Like delicious. It's delicious. This is absolutely delicious. Tastes just as good as lamb's. Nice. If shit tastes like this, I'd be on the ground eating shit often.

How do you know that it doesn't? It's true. I guess I'm going to find out. You guys want to go to Wisconsin? We'll start there and fan out. Yep. What's the rating? Oh, man.

It's thick. It's loaded. Yeah. With the nuts. And what is it? Caramel? Yeah. Caramel's like...'s thick It's loaded Yeah Like with the nuts And what is it caramel Yeah The caramel's like There's a good amount in there

It's also bigger than the one that like The place here makes Yep So They like scale it up One of these is very fucking filling This guy sucked the entire thing down Yeah it's like gone

I'm not even gonna eat it Cause I just like I'm gonna get sick. But it's fucking good. This is some good fucking chocolate. I'm gonna give this fucker a 95. Wow! There you go. It's fucking delicious.

Alright, Swezback. I'm giving it a 90. Wow! Okay. I wish we ate this instead of the chicken. 92.5, Swezback. Congratulations. That's a good snack. Solid win. And he's had basically something like this before. I don't think I've ever had this particular shit-shaped chocolate. We have a few other kinds that we'll kind of poke out after the show or whatever.

But thank you, Swezback. I don't want to eat it all, but I'm doing it. I know, right? I've got to put it in my mouth. If you want to send us snacks, you can. That's good. That's the best snack we've had in a long time. Yeah, I agree.

I think most impressive is that it's- Maybe the last episode was a better snack, but it's just... We didn't have anything last time. The fact that this is candy and Michael likes it so much is especially high praise. That's really something. Yep. You can send us snacks. Face Jam. Care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street,

Austin, Texas, 78723. Make it a good one. We love when it's a good snack. It's the matter of sweetness to like That's true. The thing is like It's rich. It's rich but it's thick and it's sweet for a reason.

I hate sweetness from like cake because it's just like air sugar. You know what I mean? You're biting this. You're chewing this. I don't want to put something in my mouth and then it melts and it's super fucking sweet. Yeah. I get that.

I like that it's a thick... This is like a Snickers. Snickers is my hungry bar. Also, I'm pretty sure Snickers is good for you. So I try to eat 5 to 10 a day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Healthy. Still though, I would recommend if you're either not a maniac or a diabetic, share this.

Yeah. Because this could kill you. I'm going to eat the rest of this in one bite. Jesus. Monster. If you want to check out past episode ratings, you can go to facejampodstats.com. Tanner C., loyal jammer. Are they paying us for this?

No, I want people to know. It's a great site. You can also follow at Face Jam Pod to stay up to date on everything. Twitter, Instagram. See what we have coming up. Like RTX. RTXevent.com and get a ticket. We will be doing finally an episode that we've been wanting to do for years.

Are we doing this? Yeah, hell yeah. Are we doing RTX? I don't think I'm going to be there. I think I'm out of town. I mean, we got Nick. It's fine. Okay.

Yeah. You go to store.roosterteeth.com for all your face jam needs as well. Check out that chicken tray, the shirt that Kat was wearing, the chicken tray inspired shirt. We also have a lot of the vintage collection stuff, the bag that's insulated. The Spice Rat shirt coming back? The Spice Rat shirt, as of this record,

by the time this is out, yes. Whoa. Should be out on the 7th, but that's in the past now if you're listening to this. So go to store.roosterteeth.com and get it. And you would know about it if you followed us at Face Jam Pod. Also, make sure to grab your Eric Sucks shirt. Well, let's not.

We don't need that. I'm just little shirt. Classic Face Jam shirt. Classic Face Jam. But if you're going to buy one, get the shirt I'm just little shirt. Classic face jam. Classic face jam. But if you're going to buy one, get the shirt that says Eric sucks. Get, yeah. Because if you have to get one. It makes me laugh.

Ideally both. Makes me laugh. It's good if you know any Erics. Even if you don't and wear it around. If you're an Eric. Eric will probably see it and he'll go, oh, on the street. Yeah, he'll think it's about him and the person wearing it. Because it is.

He has no idea. Mm-hmm. Who it is. No idea. There you go. Take us out. Rate and subscribe. Tell a friend about this show where we eat food and rate the food. That was perfect. Okay. Bye.

Hang on. Final notes. I'm out of here.