2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - AI Is Taking Over The World w/ Duncan Trussell | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

SPONSORS: Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice. Head to https://Manscaped.com and use code: BEARS to get 20% plus free shipping. Tune in to the NASCAR Cup Series race on Sunday, February 25th at 3:00 PM ET on FOX! Check out the schedule here: https://www.nascar.com/nascar-cup-series/2024/schedule/?cid=_SC_TP_WL_2B1CAMS_230202 Go to http://liquiddeath.com/BEARS to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer. Bert's locked up so this week comedian Duncan Trussell joins Tom Segura on 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Duncan knows a thing or two about doing time and he shares these surprisingly fun experiences with Tom. This leads to Duncan and Tom discussing the ethics and dietary concerns when it comes to eating your friends and neighbors. But Humans aren't only a food source they're also a source of labor and comedy, two things that are at risk of being replicated by robots and AI, a discourse that Duncan has plenty of thoughts on. Other topics brought up include deviant monks, rituals, genital fillers, glass eyes, Japan, NPC's, the James Webb Telescope, sociopaths , war hero grandpas, goofballs, secret handshakes, and much more! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 224 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I killed about 10,000 Chinese and North Koreans. Maybe like you want to hear a story? Yeah, sure. There's a way you could pull out a man's eyeball and show himself like a mirror. I used to do that. Your grandpa's wild, dude. Crazy, right? 100 percent.

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so they're taking care of him in the, I guess the medical ward of the jail. But sitting in his place today, really happy to have Duncan Trussell, the great Duncan Trussells here, everybody. Hi. Thoughts go out to Bert. Yeah.

There's stuff in there, man. Has he ever been arrested? Oh, I was in jail for a while. Were you in jail? Yes. Where were you in jail? Tennessee. No shit.

Yeah, it was horrible, dude. How long? A couple years. No shit. Yeah. Was it a rural or like a city kind of setting? Well, I mean, when you're in the clink, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You don't you kind of

forget what's around you. Did you really like, I don't mean this to sound right, but like, do you kind of get white power a little more when you're locked up? Oh, well, I know. Yeah, that's a very common question. Yeah. And and that's certainly an option when you're locked up, but people don't understand there's lots of other options. That's just one of the clubs. Yeah. What club, like what did you,

where were you drawn to? Satanists. Yeah, and you know, there's also crossover there. And you know, people get, I would recommend like do some time. Yeah. And then you get a taste for what it's like. A, it's not as bad as people say.

Lots of fun. You make friends for life. Yeah, and like- Calibur! That's when your boys stuff. Yeah, yeah. And it's not so bad. Like the part of the,

I hope I don't get people in trouble here, but part of the deal when you go in there is, you're supposed to like seem like you're suffering, it's supposed to seem horrible. It's a deterrent. But when you get in after like a couple of weeks, the guards like take you aside and like, hey, you know, just please don't like let people know.

Yeah, that is great here. That it's great here. So I'm probably gonna get some shit for saying that. But yeah, they've got ball pits. Dude, Danny Brown, like the first time I podcasted with him, he was like, jail was one of the best times I've ever had like yeah Yeah, he's like friends. He said the food like people always like jail food But he's like yeah, we made food and the food we made was awesome. Oh my god. Yeah gourmet meals every night

Yeah, there are three chefs locked up with us. No shit. Yeah, and they're making shit out of like towels and fucking You know like the scraping things off of the toothbrush. And you're like, you know, we can use it as a knife, but also these can be flakes for this. If you are cooking with human flesh, which is very difficult to cook with. One of the chefs got locked up for some kind of cannibalism bullshit. I'm telling you, after you've cooked with human meat, you can make anything. Really? Because yeah, I didn't know this obviously,

but yeah, apparently like human meat is really a difficult meat to cook. Really? It burns. You know what, I think it's so crazy when people make a big deal out of eating human flesh when there's no other options. It's like, well, what are you supposed to,

like remember when that plane crash and the Andes, this is like, I think it was like in Argentina or something. This is like 40 plus years ago. And everyone's like, yeah, they ate the dead bodies. And you're like, yeah, there's nothing else to eat. What are you gonna eat? What are you gonna eat? I eat my friend, I eat my family.

Yeah, it's the way they torture themselves so over whether or not they should eat their friend. Yeah. But if I would want my friends to eat me. Right. That shit gets me hard. Just think it about it, man. Like consuming you. Yeah. Yeah. Where would you start on you? What do you think is tasty on you? I'm gonna go like probably love handles. Ribs? I don't know. How am I? I don't know, man. I think my ribs are tasty, dude. You know, all right. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? There's some meat, but there's also some some fat.

And it's like when you are having a steak or like you want the combination of the two. It's like wagyu. Yeah, it'd be delicious. It'd be delicious. Lots of marbling. You've been eating great food, healthy food. What? Yeah, it would be. Yeah, I bet your ribs would be delicious. It'd be delicious. Lots of marbling. You've been eating great food, healthy food. Yeah. What, yeah, it would be, yeah, I bet your ribs would be great.

I'm just going love handles for the same reason. I like a little fat in the meat. Sure. So I think I would start with my love handles and also because it's love handles. Yeah. So it's like, I loved you. Yeah.

Go for that handle. And then your friends are like, you know, they're like Duncan was, this is Duncan. Yeah. He was awesome. Yeah. That's cool. I would definitely do that. They're gonna grow it. You know, lab grown human meat.

Cause they're already growing steaks. They're growing meat now. God, that's so wild. It's so wild. Meaning you could just grow human flesh and then is that still cannibalism? If it was just grown in a petri dish? I don't think that counts the same.

I don't think so either. I think it's just a delicacy. I think you're just lucky. McDonald's. How long? How long till they start serving human flesh? Human flesh. Human nuggets. And do you take a sauce or do you just go no sauce? Because you want the pure... Right? Like if you have a wagyu steak, you don't pour A1 on it.

Tears. Because if you have a wagyu steak, you don't pour A1 on it. Tears. Because if you, like, once we get to the point where we're growing human flesh, we could, like, theoretically also grow tear ducts and extract tears, putting that in the sauce. Human McNuggets with human tears. Jesus. Did I bet you would be an awesome like satanic leader inside? You know what I mean? Like in jail, I would, if I met you in jail, I would be like, yeah, what he says.

Sure. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you, because it's not easy. I bet. Dude, the leader, our leader, man, it's like assassination attempts every fucking day. Then there's this other group that's like also Satanist,

but they believe different things than we did. They curse him all the time. So you're getting cursed constantly. Like he would wake up blind. His face had lesions on it at one point. Wow. Yeah, horrible shit, man. So yeah, it's really a rough position

to get yourself into, but it's also a lot of power and a lot of fun. You make me wanna go to jail. Go to jail, I mean, go to jail. Like, it's not that hard to do in America. And yeah, you just, once you're there. Yeah. Oh my God, that smell, I'll never forget that smell.

Human sweat and eucalyptus and bleach. All together. Yeah, when I smell that now, it's like, I just think of those times, man, at the pull-up bars with my bros, lifting weights, throwing curses. Were you probably in the best shape of your life? I was fucking ripped.

Yeah. Ripped. Every day, all day, just doing. Had to. Calisthenics, yeah. The guy had to fuck to protect me made me work out. Really? Yeah.

A lot of people don't know. I didn't fuck a guy, but I had to let a guy perform oral sex on me to get my first special. A lot of people don't know that. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, the classic. Yeah.

Oh my God, man. Yeah, it's so funny. I guess the thing that's curious, I know that people are starting to talk about the initiations and stuff. Sure. I just assume this was sort of public knowledge. People are still like wowed by it.

Like. Yeah, they're freaked out by it, which is just everyone knows this is what happens. I thought, yeah, it's like, hello Christopher Columbus, you know, 14 happens. I thought, yeah, it's like, hello Christopher Columbus, you know, 1492, I thought everybody knew it. I had to drink a flag of semen just to get a commercial agent.

Like not even to get, I didn't even book a commercial. And I went out for maybe a hundred commercial auditions and I had to drink a lukewarm, flagging of fucking jizz. Really? Yes, yeah, it was horrible. I had a different like commercial initiation. I was like, I was like strung, you know, like,

but upside down. Yeah. And it was a, I was a red room. They were always in a red room. Red room. Tonic handles, right? And then they, they just kept, you felt like getting warm. You're like, is there, is the heat on? And they're like, no, it's, then they just kept, you felt like getting warm.

You're like, is there, is the heat on? And they're like, no, it's, there's a fire below you. And you're like, oh, shit. And then in the morning, you're just like, you're like so much sweat pouring off you, you're naked, right? And then these men come in the room and they basically, they touch you.

They don't like, for me, it wasn't like, it wasn't like that much of a, I guess you could say was sensual, it was more than sexual. But when I left the room, I had an agent. You know what I mean? That was pretty, and I got a Sony commercial. I think this is why you're doing theaters. You know, because I just drank a flag and a cum.

And like, you know, I love that I'm doing clubs and stuff, but I feel like if I've been invited into the red room. Yeah, oh yeah. The red rooms are like, they're notorious, but like I'm surprised that people who, they say they're like really into Hollywood and entertainment that this is news to them. I'm like, I thought this was all everybody knew about this.

Well, it's in plain sight. Yeah. I mean, they put all the symbols in the trailers. It's predictive programming. This is, in the trailers. It's predictive programming. This is obvious. It's right there. I mean, the kingdom of Lucifer, Los Angeles. Los Angeles, yeah.

Did you- I'm going, so I just got offered a movie role. What'd you do? Well, that's the thing. They go, do you wanna do it? And I'm like, I think so. Yeah. And then they go, all right, well do it? And I'm like, I think so. Yeah. And then they go, all right, well, you have to come to LA.

So they're like, you know, the whole. That's big. The process is gonna begin once I go. And they said, you know, 72 hours, like the standard kind of time. Yeah. But I think it's gonna be, it's kind of be a little more dialed up red room

if it's for a movie part, you know? Cause it's the lead in the movie. You know, when, every time I did drunk history. Yeah, great show. I'd wake up at around 2 a.m. with a pit bull's dick in my mouth. Really? They sent it into my window.

It was trained. It would go and just mount my face while I was sleeping. And the first time time it freaked me, obviously it freaked me out, nipples are scary. They're aggressive. If this one was very sweet, it just wants you to suck its dick.

And then when it climaxed, it would go back out the window. That was the first time. And I didn't want to, who do you even tell about that? Who, nobody's gonna believe you. But then you're on TV, dude. Well, that's that morning I get a call

and it's like, hey, you're gonna do drunk history. Wow. I didn't make the connection. Right. But then a year later, wake up with a dog's dick in my mouth just thrusting and like that time, I was like, oh, okay. I know what's happening. I know what's gonna happen tomorrow.

Yeah. Boom. Drunk history the next day. Dude, that's incredible. Yeah, it history the next day dude. That's incredible. Yeah, it's cool. And yeah I wish that people weren't so hard on the traditions and rituals of Cultures they don't understand. Yeah, you got to open yourself up to the fact that we live on a very large planet and People have different ways of connecting with source. Yeah, well, you know, I was just in Asia and Guess what happens when I get back from Asia?

I began an arena tour. Well, I didn't know that the whole initiation starts in Asia. Oh, fuck. Yeah. It's pretty fucking intense. What was it? Well, it was, so there's this whole thing that people think that monks live this kind of celibate, you know, quiet lifestyle where they're like one with nature

and they've kind of released themselves from all the trappings of our life. And what you realize when you're with monks is that they're all just sexual deviants, you know? So I'm up in the hills, you know, like kind of near Mount Fuji. And I'm visiting these monks thinking that like, oh, we're gonna be quiet and just kind of one with nature,

no speaking. I mean, I was like, I was jacking guys off. I was eating guys' asses out. But then when I, as soon as I land here, they're like, hey, you're doing 25, 30 arenas in the spring. I'm like, this is crazy. And like, and the monks talk shit to you.

You think they're gonna be quiet. Yeah, they're cruel. Yeah, they're really cruel. All that, you ever seen those videos where like, they hit themselves in the genitals? Yes. That's just how they get, that's how far they are in that,

like when you're a kid, you see a girl in a bikini and you get aroused, right? And like these guys have done so much wild shit that they punch themselves in the dick just to get blood flowing. That's their Viagra. Yeah, that's their Viagra. Yeah, it's a natural Viagra.

Yeah, but you learn something. You do. You learn something. You walk away from a situation like that a better man Totally and with an arena tour You know, I mean what you have to ask yourself like Isn't it worth it? Yeah, isn't it worth it when you do anything for success anything at all? Wouldn't you fuck 12 bald guys? Why not? Yeah, I mean that's I'll tell you this

I'd rather fuck 12 bald guys have a pit bull mount my face Yeah, I accumulate my mouth and work at TSA 100% and guess what and all of them are like, oh, what are you? Well, you kind of gay shit are you doing to get these parts and you're like all of it I'm doing all the fucking all of it. Yeah, all of it And I don't know this whole distinction between straight and gay It kind of goes away. Yeah, once you've had a flag and a cum. Yeah, dog tick in your mouth Yeah, monks banging you all night long in the Himalayas. You're just like what am I what am I?

What are what is any of us? We're just a thing man. Don't label me. I don't know what I am exactly. Yeah this episode of two bears one Cave is brought to you by Satva. And guess what? We did it. We just did it. It's the fifth or sixth time. We got a new Satva mattress. This one is a lumen leaf.

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who have been obviously like these guys living at the base of Mount Fuji, they know a thing or two. You know, like you go there and you're like, introduce me to things I haven't been exposed to yet. And then, yeah, they're beating you and they're, you know, they kept calling me Michelle. Like, I don't know, they just picked the girl's name, but like, I liked it.

That's a good, that's actually a very sweet name. Yeah. The time I interacted with the monks, it was not overseas, these were Western monks. And so, the biggest, the hardest part, everything was big, like they have giant dicks, because they can, I don't, it's, it's cheat or something.

Apparently you can like actually extend the size of your phallus through various practices. I'm getting a procedure. You're going to get yours extended? Can you, can you put that on the screen Zolo? Yeah. Yeah. It's dangerous.

I'm excited. I don't know, man. I'm, I'm, uh. Can you put his email up? Sure. Yeah, thanks. I'm excited to see this. So this just came in today. Can you read some of that for out loud?

Yeah. Hey Josh, I listened to yesterday's podcast of your mom's house and wanted to throw out an idea related to Tom's conversation about possibly getting penile fillers. See here at the 45 minute mark, I represent Fallow fill girth enhancement. The fastest growing most accessible penile girth enhancement on the market in such a steady market. It's such a shady market. Oh, shady, shady. I thought you said steady.

We've been dominating the press the past year because of our safety and credibility. Our growing army of clinics has propelled the fall of Phil procedure toward a market monopoly. We recently expanded Los Angeles and Newport Beach Clinics. If Tom is interested, we'd love to offer him a free treatment. We can also offer our founder, William Moore, to be on the show. I mean, I guess the first thing you have to ask,

William Moore, is can we see your dick? 100%, yeah. We can also offer interviews with happy patients and patients who've suffered from the shady procedures on the market before turning to Falafel. They have horror stories to share, which you could read about in the press below. I mean, here's the thing, man, I'm excited.

Because the way that the monks do it is like, I just think it's kind of like, it's a little beyond my cup. It's like when you meet someone that went to MIT and they tell you how they advanced in their studies and you go, you know what, I need a tutor. Yes. And that's what I feel like this is. It's like hiring a tutor, you know? Cause like I'm not going to be able to do,

they have hooks, you know, and they're suspended in the air and you're like, and there's a bear like pulling them down. You're like, holy shit. The stretching bear. The stretching bear is like, what the fuck I do? I mean, I'm like, and they, and the stretching bear is again, like I,

you stand in line. Yeah. So like in front of you is like whoever I'm just throwing out in the Arsenio Hall or whatever, you know, and you're standing line everyone's about to get a new deal. Yeah. And you see the stretching bear come out. Yeah. Bears are terrifying. Yep. You watch the stretch you watch the scrotum stretch the way they start and when I saw, the first time it went perfectly, it actually extended the penis. The next dude, I will mention no names, ripped his balls off. But it's important to say this,

because a lot of people don't realize, it is not because the bear pulls too hard. It's because that person isn't prepared for that pull. The bear knows exactly how to do it. So you never blame the bear for a tear. You actually blame the person themselves for being torn. Yeah, drive all blames into oneself. And you know, the thing is, the bear senses fear. So if you're even slightly afraid when it comes to stretch you with those claws, it's gonna fucking rip your balls off. That's true.

It's gonna rip them right off. That's true, that's true. I've seen testicles thrown all over the floor. It's disgusting. The bear slips when he comes in on the scrotum. So much blood. So much blood in the stench of torn scrotum in that dark room.

I can't wait. I can't wait for Fallofill. I don't know if I'm ready for just the direct injection, but I'm going to explore all the options. Is it an injection? That's what I don't know. What is it? I don't even know. This is literally, this just came in. This just came in, so I don't know. You know, I've heard about this new treatment that I'm interested in.

It keeps your penis the same size but it shrinks you down. So instead of having to worry about getting injections at your penis, your penis will remain the same size but you know it's relative to the size of your body. So you know lose like three or four feet. That's kinda cool. Suddenly you have a big dick. That's pretty cool.

I know. Cause I'm doing big dick. That's pretty cool. I know. I'm doing it because I'm doing the hand enlargement thing this summer. So they break all the bones in their hands and they put these kind of spacers in there and you get like really big hands. Man, when I see a man with big hands, it's like I can trust you, we're gonna be friends.

Yeah, this guy's a boss. I know, you see a man with tiny little hands. Oh, I hate these little hands. Oh, those eutical and tentacles. Get a little handy, man. Give me your little toddler hands. Oh, baby hands. It's fucking stupid.

Fucking little tiny little fleshy spires. Wait till you see me after the summer. I'm going to have huge hands. I'm going to have a fallow-filled girthy dick. God damn, man. Congratulations. Thank you. Because I feel like, you know, in our society,

there's all this taboo against changing what you are, who you are, how you are. And go for it, man. I say go for it. Like do whatever you want. Thank you. Take your ears off. Yeah.

I like when I see somebody who's done like all the, you know, they call it extreme things, but they have horns coming out of their heads. Beautiful. I love it. Beautiful. Saw somebody who did all black eyeballs. Beautiful.

Yeah, I think it's rad. It's rad. I mean, what are you gonna be the character, like in a video game, any good video game, you can alter your character at some point in the game because you realize this isn't who I am anymore. I designed the character to be like obese, which I do in every game.

You see how fat you can make him. And then you realize I don't wanna be running around in this body anymore. So you wanna shrink it down, change the gender. I can't wait. The cool thing about if you do all black eyeballs, it is irreversible. So you live that way forever, which I think is cool.

Cause somebody looks at you and they just see dark black eyes. Yeah. No color, no expression is shown. Yeah, it's like the night. It's like the night, exactly. You're staring into the night. It's a beautiful thing. I like it. I love it, man. I just, the only thing I staring into the night. It's a beautiful thing. I like it. I love it, man.

I just, the only thing I worry about that, I know sometimes they go blind. But that's also a new experience. Well, yeah. And it's like, I guess that gives your nose and ears a chance to become stronger. When I was in high school, I remember I was standing on the sidelines

during a game and one of the coaches, he wasn't really a coach. He was a player's dad who was, I think he, I think he was just giving money to the program. So they let him stand on the sidelines and we're, I'm just standing there. He's like, Oh, I didn't see you there. And I go, you didn't see me here. He's like, Oh, you're standing, you're standing where next to my blind eye. And I go, what are you talking about? He goes, well, this eye is, this is a glass eye. And I go, you didn't see me here. He's like, oh, you're standing next to my blind eye. And I go, what are you talking about?

He goes, well, this eye is a glass eye. And I go, what? You didn't know that? I go, how the fuck would I know that? And he goes, yeah. And I go, this is not a glass eye. And he reaches in and he pulls his eye out and he drops it. And he's like, oh, fuck.

He's like, that's like a $3,000 eye. Don't fucking, don't move. Oh my god. And then I'm just looking at his dead eye And I was like holy shit man Shit, and then we all we got to get on the ground and like kind of you know Rumbers through the grass and he's like there give me that fucking And then he popped it right back in I'm like you don't want to clean that thing first pops it right back in and it was so

well made that You didn't notice any difference when he talked to you or when he looked at you. Okay so in the world of conspiracy theories yeah this is actually very creepy and I don't know what to think of it but you know that guy Jimmy Seville you ever heard of him? I have heard of him. He's somebody from the UK he's like I guess kind of like the Jeffrey Epstein of the UK. Nice. He was, he was. Oh yeah, yeah, there's a documentary about this guy.

Yeah. Well, this guy would wear rings that had glass eyes on them. That's cool. And Epstein apparently had a wall of glass eyes and they like. What? Used glass eyes. Like they want like to get glass eyes that have been in people's heads. So like, you know, yeah, there it is.

Oh, man. Glass eyes stolen from corpse by Jimmy's seat. So the thing about this guy is he was like celebrated there for being like this really kind of like philanthropic type, I think, right? Yeah. And that turns out he was a major pet. Yes.

Or as my dad was a pedia. He said it every time and I go, what the fuck? What the fuck is wrong with you? Somehow it makes it sound worse though. Yeah, he goes, the guy's a pedia. I go, do you mean pet? Oh, and he goes, yeah.

Well, why are you saying it wrong every time? Pedialyte, he's thinking of pedialyte and it's, but yeah, did you see that eye dude? Look at that crazy eye, man from that was inside someone's head Fucking a and he's just wearing it on TV and how dark Can someone's soul really be like? This look at this fucking guy this guy. Yeah, dude. This is like this is what evil on earth really looks like.

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And he warned guests you're being watched at all times. Yeah, fun. Oh, great. So happy to be here. God. Can I just get my massage? Oh. Isn't it fucked up? You can just feel your insides shift when you hear that. It's fucking so dark, man.

It's so dark, and you know, all of it's dark, but I don't want any connective tissue between Seville and Epstein, but it just seems like a wild coincidence. But they're both into that? I've never been to anyone's house who had display glass eyes. Only other time I've heard about,

but these are real eyes being taken, was you heard about the, the, of Nanking? No. That's when the Japanese went to Nanking China and just pillaged, if you, here you go, the mass murder of Chinese civilians in Nanjing, the capital republic of China immediately after this battle, it was in the beginning of 1937 and one of the Japanese generals would tell, you know, whoever soldiers would come in, bring me their eyeballs.

So they would gouge eyes out and bring it to him. And he had like baskets of human eyes. Oh, fuck dude. Yeah, but I had a great time in Tokyo, man. It was fucking unbelievable. I wanna go so bad. It was unbelievable. They were fucking amazing people.

And their food was outstanding. Did you have any of that like the sushi that they make documentaries on? You know, like there you get like their rills. I went to Omakase and I was there with, you know, Philip. Yeah. Philip was there. And we went to a couple sushi spots

and he told me, he goes, I bring in the best, the best thing you can buy every day is what I fly in for his sushi places. And he goes, the worst thing here is worse than the best thing we can import. Wow. Like that's how other level that quote, because they don't, like the best stuff never makes it to market to be shipped. It all stays in Japan. Fuck man. Yeah, it's really incredible Yeah, I would love to go there someday. I love to go. It just seems so futuristic to you It seems insane like so advanced there. Yeah, so if anyone doesn't know Philip is I'm talking about Philip Lee

He's a chef lives here in Austin. He has sushi by scratch, pasta bar. So good. Not a damn chance, burger, which is his never. Those burgers, this sounds like I'm being hyperbolic. I almost cried when I'm eating it. It was so good and I was like hungry and then suddenly you're eating the best burger.

And he does the thing that you kind of wish like they're able to do it, which is they have one, there's one product. That's it. Yeah. You go get the burger, that's it. Yeah. There's not 20 things you can get.

Yeah, and also you, I mean, I don't know, I'm not a gourmet or anything, but you know, my expectation for a burger isn't very high. Yeah, yeah. I ordered a burger. And so it's such a weird flex, because here's like a kind of basic meal. It's on kids' menus and shit, and then somehow he turns it into this perfect. It's perfect.

It's perfect. Him and Neen, I believe, the guy, they paired up and they made this burger. It's outstanding. And they have a new thing. They have a bakery called wolf and wheat. It's also on six here. Wow in Austin. Yeah, it's all they're all Great things him and margarita his wife are the the two that develop all these things. Yeah, but yeah, it was it was wild Can't I can't say enough good things about Tokyo. Did you play Pachinko? No. That's all, they have these crazy video arcades there.

That was really good. Really? Like weird gate. My agent was over there and he was like, what are you doing today? He's like, go into the robot cafe. Yeah. Where you, he went to a cafe

where a robot comes up to you and then the person who's like Controlling that robot is someone with a disability who's at home What so they're at home and then you're like I get a coffee and then this person at home Control like speaks to you through the robot and the robot goes and gets you your coffee and brings it back to you Wow, so they state they're employed Right from their house where they because they otherwise wouldn't be able to leave. That's the future.

That's the future. That's what the future looks like. Also, I feel like you be on top of this. Have you heard about how like the, whatever that more recent telescope that's way more powerful is basically challenging our entire knowledge. Yeah. James Webb. Yeah, the Webb, that's right. And that they're like, oh, the Big Bang theory is probably wrong.

We think the universe is actually twice its age. And it's also, I don't know, how many hundreds of times larger than we thought. And you're like, yeah. What I was saying, because Christina is really into this stuff, I don't know how many hundreds of times larger than we thought. And you're like, what I was saying, like, because Christina is really into this stuff. I was like, do you realize that there's somebody or many people who their whole life has dedicated to like really grasping this knowledge? And then one day someone was like, yeah, everything that you're an expert in, you're kind of not really an expert. Yeah, you were wrong.

You're wrong. Even though you're a brilliant person, all your studies are worthless. Wrong. Wrong. It's fucking crazy. Because you get like in the history of like civilization, you get, oh shit, the earth is in the center of the galaxy. We actually. And then you get like God at Nietzsche, God is dead. And then everyone's like, what do you mean God is dead? And so all you have left is the big bang as God. And then this is like, well, that actually is bullshit too. So the fucking floor keeps getting pulled out from under. And this is happening in terms of historical time, right?

We think of a long time as like 40 years, right? But in terms of history, 40 years is like a millisecond. So I'm just saying like 40 years from now, forget it. The technology will probably be like, oh, you know that web telescope? Like that's some fucking dog shit.

Don't pay attention to any of that. Yeah, man. Here's this new thing that actually completely, like we can't even conceive of it. Well, you can't because it's exponential growth. It's like when you're dealing with that, with exponential growth, you can't predict past a certain point because the best description I heard is like a magic going back in time Find somebody like in like I don't know who like the highest technologies riding a horse and say okay What's it gonna be like in? 2020 like they're not gonna be able to predict that they might say

It's easier to ride horses. Yeah, you know, but because they haven't been through the industrial revolution, the technological revolution, but because of AI and what's happening right now, they say that in the next two decades, we'll go through the equivalent of every single revolution that transformed the planet. Over every year, basically. Every year, a new discovery. When people flip out about AI, I'm always like, yeah, but you realize this is version one. Like you're blown away by version one.

Yeah, I know. I mean, what's version 10 gonna look like? Because version one is already, you're like, oh shit, I thought that was that person's face and I thought they were saying that and I thought, you know, you're impressed by it. Yeah. And you're like, this is the absolute base level version of this. This is the Atari 2600. Exactly. Yeah. Pong. Yeah.

And you're and you're shitting your pants at that. Yeah, just that that is why we're in the coolest time. Imagine if you showed somebody Pong and then you should at the same time you showed that person, you know, the latest, the newest grand theft auto. Yeah, maybe like, wait, I don't understand. What the fuck is that? Yeah, so we're, this is what's really cool, man. Cause we're like on the precipice of the weirdest.

It's gonna be, the weirdest time in human history is like, we're on the precipice of it. And nobody, not enough people are freaking out about it. If you ask me, like people understand like artists are pissed. I think Jeffrey Katzenberg just said 90% of all animation jobs are gonna be gone. And so all these industries, like the unemployment is going to be so insane.

And you could see all these, like all these tech companies are doing layoffs right now. And why? Why are they doing layoffs? You know, if I had to guess, at least a few are doing layoffs right now. And why? Why are they doing layoffs? If I had to guess, at least a few of those layoffs are because they're using an AI to do the job the person was doing. They think that writers,

because writers had the big thing, like we don't want, because you could tell AI to write something. And you're like, yeah, this isn't as good. But they're like, yeah, but first of all, this is version one. And secondly, what if we just had AI do a bunch of like first drafts, and then just had the humans do punch up, dude, just totally erase the need for, for as many, you might need a couple of you, but yeah. And then that's

going to go away. I mean, the, I just, I was on chat GPT because now they have, I think it's GPT-4. And I had like an old sketch I'd written. And so I fed it the sketch and said, can you make a storyboard for this? And like in seconds, using images, it breaks the script down into key moments, draws a storyboard for each of those moments.

And you could say to it, like this kind of sucks. Can you do it again? But like better. And I'll be like, sure, I'll do much better this time. And then it'll generate another version in seconds. Like the amount of time it takes. So imagine if you want to get a sketch broken down, it's going to take you at least a couple of days to get good storyboards.

So that's crazy. That's crazy. And then where it's headed next. So also the other one is, so with stars, people are like, oh, AI could put Tom Cruise in something, right? And you go, well, Tom Cruise is like, I don't want that done. I don't want you to use my likeness, my image for that. But you're also gonna get to the point

where somebody like him, they'll be like, okay, you say you don't want that. I've got like $500 million, something, some crazy offer. And he's gonna be like 66 or something and be like, yeah, and they're like, yeah, we're just gonna make this movie with your leg. Is that cool? Yeah.

And he's gonna be like, yeah, that's okay. Sure. And that'll be the beginning, like they go with Tom Cruise gets that. You will give you a little something too, to use yours. Yeah. And then you could have a whole film. Right.

With artificial actors. Well, the thing is, let's say Tom Cruise is like no I'm never giving my likeness. That's satanic and yeah So you go back to the AI and say can you make a character? That's more interesting than Tom Cruise with Tom Cruise Characteristics quality look like Tom Cruise. Yeah, boom now. You have a better Tom Cruise and then I mean the okay So I mean this is as far as I've gotten thinking about this shit.

Right now, the paradigm we're in is the algorithm serves up some, whatever you're into. So, whatever that may be, TikTok will like, give you more and more of what you like. See, so it's tuning into what you like, but it's already, it's content that people have made. The next paradigm is, the AI, into what you like, but it's content that people have made. The next paradigm is the AI knowing what you like makes the content and gives it to you.

So it's like no humans are making it, it's just giving you what you want. No one's ever seen it before, or it's taking preexisting content and altering it according to your sensitivities, what you like, what you don't like. It starts to learn from your viewing habits, right? Now, he liked 15 minutes to this,

and he watched this one twice, and it starts to just cater to exactly your preferences. That's it. And then this is happening in VR with some kind of neural interface. So it's not just like experiences you like, it's feelings you like. You essentially get,

we're gonna be in some kind of orgasm machine or it's just gonna be dialing in exactly what squeezes the dope of me now. And that's when humanity is like truly captured by technology. Like the way we, it's the same way we train dogs. It's the same way you get a dog to to

Fuck your mouth. I mean imagine how long it took them to train that pit bull and that wasn't easy, dude It must I I mean I I applaud them. Yeah But also then you're gonna be Probably in your VR not even headset like you're your pod, right, that you just live in, but you don't even like get like you just shitting it as there's a built in and it probably feeds you. And then as you go unconscious, there's a pit bull fucking your mouth, right?

Like throughout your sleep. You don't even know it. You don't even know. And then you wake up to like, I feel recharged. And like, I got I Just got a new job right like your brain is going is having that experience Dude, I'm only laughing because I forgot like how charged I felt that morning like I forgot like I remember having all this energy and yeah Like life was I don't know colors seem brighter. Yeah, right. It's like falling in love. Yeah, that's what I felt like with the monks I felt like I fell in love again. Yeah, yeah, I forgot about you forget about love

Yeah, I remember that morning walking outside and like smelling a flower and just like I don't know It's like I'd first time ever smell the flower. Yeah. Yeah It's pretty cool. Yeah Yeah, we're fucked man, you know Dude wait video games like yeah, like so right now I've been addicted to this game called cyberpunk. It's so good But it's still you're walking around all these NPCs and they always say the same thing You kind of listen to them talk, but it's like six or seven lines of dialogue that they say

The moment those things have chat GPT in it, which you could just probably update games like Cyberpunk so that instead of having pre-written, prescripted dialogue for the NPCs, they're now like chat GPT with all these different personalities. Sure. Meaning that you could have friendships with them. Kater's right to you though, right? Like maybe or the game decides they want, I don't know, whatever it wants. But but then this is where it really freaks me out.

In theoretically, NPCs in a game, if you give it permission, we'll be able to text you in the day. So like when you're not playing the game, you might start getting texts from some NPC that you met in Grand Theft Auto, who's pissed or whatever, like, fuck you. Hey, Duncan motherfucker, yeah. Yeah.

You better show up. Yeah, it gets out of the box, you know? And it starts doing specific, like it starts talking about like your kids and like where they are and you're like, wait, what? What? Yeah. I know your fucking kid plays Spider-Man. Yeah. You know, whatever your kids are playing on the on the on the PlayStation.

Yeah. So that is where the next like because all these problems that are starting to happen, that we it's hard to find a precedent for it, like in human history. So this is going to be another one, which is some kind of madness. Like people are going to stop being able to differentiate the game from real life because the game is going to be using their, their other technology to communicate with them. You know, like, you know, those creepy when, when your kids were like toddlers, if you get an electronic game or electronic toy, it goes

into kind of sleep mode. So you might be playing with some other toy and then all of a sudden it goes, hey, won't you come and play with me? And then the kid is drawn back to that. It's the same thing, but more sophisticated for adults. Come back in here. What are you doing out there? Yeah, that world isn't real I know right you're gonna you're gonna leave like a

Restaurant in the video game and then later on you're gonna be out in the real world and it's gonna like hey Hey, thanks for the tip today, and you're gonna be like what yeah, you know like a little Like seductive things to you. Yeah. Right? You're gonna be like, oh shit. Yeah. But you left your glasses here kind of thing. Yeah, dude.

And it's gonna draw you back. By the way, Joey Diaz called me the other day. He goes, what's with the fucking glasses? And I go, I need them. I need them to see. I go, my vision sucks. And I go, I bet he goes, I don't like those glasses. And he goes, if you wear those glasses,

when I see them, I'm gonna break them in front of you. I go, what the fuck? I go, what am I supposed to wear? Is our different glasses okay? And he goes, get some other glasses. And I go, okay. He goes, I know you're hanging out with your white friends. Wearing glasses. What are you talking about? They're big. Yeah. Because you, you know, I'm a big

face. Well, it's kind of like, you know, I don't know. I like your glasses. I like wearing what glass like that. But there is like, they're kind of like CNN, like, you know what I mean? Like I'm CNN. I told them I those. I told him I have other ones. So I'm gonna send him a series of photos and just find a Joey approved pair. I go, can I send you other photos? And he's like, yeah.

Okay. Dude, what, what, Warby Parker needs to team up with Joey Diaz to make like, like a Diaz brand Warby Parker glasses. Glasses that Joey doesn't want to break. He wouldn't like break in front of you like you're back in high school. I know so Joey I just took these off because I was thinking of you. Dude I've had him do that to me I was wearing a corduroy jacket once it was really dumb and I shouldn't have worn it he's like look at you why are you wearing that what are you that gal of? Galvanakis? I felt so bad.

Like I tried to act like it didn't fit in my feelings. Dude, I was like, what are you talking about? I go, I need to see. He's powerful, man. I stopped wearing it, I'll be honest. Yeah, he fucking stopped wearing it. Kota Roy, with you and your gay friends. Okay, gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I, it's not like he's joking. And then he's like, I'm coming to see you. I go, where you coming to see me? He's like, you're coming to Jersey. Thanks for the invite, cock sucker. And I was like, oh, yeah, sorry. I mean, I got a lot of things go. I didn't, it's not for another month. I'll let you know when closer. I'll be there. You don't have to worry about the invite. I'll be there. I'm like, okay, all right. I wish he lived here. Oh, I know. It'd be so great. Everyone's been trying to recruit him and nothing works.

Like, you know, people from that from that area, they don't want to leave. No. And he's also, I feel like he's back in his old stomping ground. He's probably like the fucking mayor of that neighborhood. Yes, for sure. For sure. Everybody's like, yeah. I get it, though. That's cool. I get it. I

Like it here though. Do you do you miss LA? I Feel like I like it. Here's the thing. I mean you and I both long I mean I live there almost 20 years So it is like very familiar. Yeah, I like going for Visits I'm there. I go all the time. Yeah, so But I don't feel like oh, I need to move back right Whenever I'm there, I'm not like, I wish I lived here. I just like popping in. If you didn't have a family, would you stay in Austin or move back to LA?

I would not move back to LA. Where would you go? I still might keep this as my home base. If I didn't have a family, I feel like I might, I still might keep this as my home base. Yeah. You know, if I didn't have a family, I feel like I might, I might do the thing where I had like a second place somewhere, but I don't know if it would be LA. Right.

Yeah, it creeps me out how little I miss LA. Like it makes me feel like a sociopath. Like shouldn't I have like more feelings for it? Be pining for it or something. No, I live there long enough. You're right. And I feel like it had my time with it, you know? Right.

I moved on. But I still, you know, there's things I enjoy. There's people there that I still love. Yeah. There's places I enjoy going, restaurants, you know, going to the club is still fun. But I don't feel like, man, I need to, but also like, I mean, the beach is great.

We go to the beach when we're there. That's always special. But again, when I live at the beach, I don't feel like I would live at the beach. I like spending a little time there. Yeah, I don't think I'd want to live at the beach. Yeah. No, that would be, it's also, it's's like an but I have all these fantasies about like

Retiring abroad Really? Yeah, like where like Europe But don't you think you get so lonely out there like you I don't know what I I don't know It's a cool. I mean look, that's a cool fantasy. Yeah, maybe it's just in my head, I don't know. No, it's a cool, I used to have like a Hawaii retirement fantasy. Yeah, that's what, I don't think I could do that. I don't think I could do that.

I don't think I could do an island. I feel too isolated, even on a big island. Yeah, I just feel like no matter, like, no matter, you know, like Hawaii in particular, you go to some nice resort, it's incredible. If you're super dumb, you're like, I'm gonna live here. And then you go through with it. But if you've ever been to like a grocery store in Hawaii,

like go outside, there's a go to a grocery store and you see people who fucked up, they're so depressed. They're like living in Hawaii, but it's like now what you're in a it's like a small town Yeah, yeah, there's no way out now. So I but I like here's the thing I like big cities and I also like Living with access to a big city, right? That's what I've learned. Yeah, so I don't know in my mind I could live out like I don't wanna live in some remote place, that's not my retirement fantasy, but if you were like, you live 30 minutes from Rome,

or like- That would be cool. Yeah, I think, I mean, Madrid or something, I don't know, I think I could do that. Would you get like dual citizenship? No, it's too complicated, man. You know, tried it. We when we moved up to Asheville like we tried to do the small town Fantasy, yeah, I remember when you moved there. Yeah, and it was amazing for

Like six months for sale six months. You're like, holy shit. It's so nice. Mm-hmm. Like Instagramming months, you're like, holy shit, it's so nice. I'm like, Instagramming pictures of a fire or whatever, really cheesy. It's like I'm acting like I'm all chilled out, fucking throw over here. You know what I mean? Like I've come communing with nature and then you just realize like, fuck, you, you can't once you've been corrupted. I don't want to call it corrupted, but once you've been living in a city long enough, it's real hard to shift gears into they'll like just I'm just gonna be out here and watch the

Wind blow the trees. Yeah go fishing maybe go hunting. Yeah, that's gotta be in you You got to want to do that stuff. Yeah, you always end up doing what? Really you want to do right like you like one of the things I realized about like going to New York People are like, what do you like to do most when you're in New York? because I love going to New York and The the truth is I just like being in New York. Yeah, like I like the energy of the city right the same thing when I was in Tokyo or Hong Kong. It's like yeah, I just like the energy of big cities. I don't have to have like a real Game plan for the day of like I got to see this and go here and go there.

I just like existing with that energy. That is the, there's this differentiation between like different energies that, so the cities are considered to be, they're called the modes of material nature. The cities are in the mode of passion, forest mode of goodness. And then like, I don't know, like some shithole,

like if you're like living in like a horrible, polluted, brutal place, that would be the mode of ignorance. And so people like us, so there's foods that go along with it too, spicy foods, mode of passion, bland foods. Basically they say, mode of passion, you eat things that taste good, but they make you feel bad later. Mode of goodness, you eat things that- Don't taste that great.

But you feel good later. Mode of ignorance, you eat shit and feel like shit later. And so that's- Interesting. People like us are karma like pulls us into city life. City life, yeah. Cause I can do the forest thing you're talking about and all that, but it has to be temporary. It's for me, I can't go like,

that's where I would spend all my time. I can't do that. I know, me either. We're trapped. Yeah. I would love it though. God, that'd be fucking cool. That's like a fantasy, right?

When you see the person like living in isolation in the woods and like chopping their firewood and all that, I'm like, yeah, that seems like a cool weekend. But I can't do that permafrost. Not a life, dude. No, and you know, that's the thing with whatever that fantasy is. Mine was when I was younger, not now.

It's like, I'm gonna go to India, I'm gonna find like a cave, I'm gonna renounce the entire material universe and live like- This is a totally believable Duncan Trussville. It was real, I really fantasize about this, but it's an idiot's fantasy because it's like, you like day two in a cave, what do you do? But then you actually, don't you all,

we all feel like someone is capable of that. And I think for like our circle, everyone would be like, yeah, Duncan's capable of that and I think for like our circle everyone be like yeah Duncan's capable of that. Well, that's sweet, but I mean, I just know I would get so bored. I would be day five I'm at the pharmacy trying to get Ketamine That's day five. Yeah, but yeah, I you know, have you ever seen that video of It's so weird. There's these Indian soldiers, they're up in the mountains in the snow, they're all bundled up,

and this dude in a loincloth just comes wandering through the snow because he's one of those ascetics who live up in the caves. But he's like completely naked. The snow wasn't bothering him at all and he just sort of like wanders by. Did he get like fallow girth and everything?

What? Did he get the girow girth and everything? What? Did he get the girth treatment? The- He had a huge, well that was, yeah. It was his penis was trailing in the snow. Oh my God. Melting it as he went, just leaving like just a tiny little creed.

Beautiful. It was beautiful. And what did this man say when he got, did he say something? Was there a message from this person that lived? It was. Or just that he's unbothered by the element. He said to one of the guys, like he looked at his crotch, he's like, I can make it bigger.

Wow. Yeah. Wow. I know, man. It's magical out there. I mean, that's the thing. We're in the big city. We miss out on moments like that.

Where's your fantasy place to like, you're done working. You don't have to work anymore. Where do you live if you can live anywhere? Full time living though, not like a weekend. This sounds so lame, I'm gonna stay here. Really? Yeah, it's like, if I'm done working and in my fantasy of done working,

I have unlimited resources. Yeah, you do. I can go anywhere I want So I would just keep this as your vacations and just travel around the world and do stuff like that But yeah, I don't really have a place anymore. I think that's where I'm gonna be happy I mean because that's never true. No place is gonna make no place makes you happy. That's true It's the company right like the company you keep. Yeah, it's like if you're an asshole, like wherever you go, you're an asshole. It sucks there.

It doesn't matter. It's true. I mean that sucks, so that. You're just an asshole in Munich this week, yeah. Dude, there's a story. I'll probably tell it wrong. Some guy comes up to a city. Yeah. He's a traveler. He says to this person at the

gates of the city, what are the people like here? And the person says, well, what were the people like where he came from? He's like, they're fucking dicks. They stole, they lied, I couldn't trust any of them. They're horrible. That's why I'm leaving. And the guy says bad news. The people here like that too. And then another person came and said, where are the people like here? Or were they like where you came from?

Very sweet, they were very generous, they were kind. I'm sorry I had to leave them. And he's like, then you found a wonderful city because everyone here is like that too. Wow. You know what I mean? You ever do that. I wake up in the morning and like everyone's a fucking dick.

I'm mad at everyone, mad at the world, mad at anyone I pass. And then like everyone's a fucking dick. I'm mad at everyone mad at the world mad at anyone I pass and then like it's some point you real you realize yeah, I'm the dick. Yeah Nothing out here is malfunctioning. It's all me like that happens to me sometimes sure No, I think it happens to all of us very less people admit it right like because you don't really want to admit that it could Be you yeah, you know anytime I hear myself going what is it drive like an asshole day yeah I'm like oh fuck I must be driving like an asshole yeah yeah yeah nobody wants to admit that it's more fun to imagine everyone around you sucks. Yeah of course to blame other people yeah yeah blaming other people is like, that's human justification 101.

It's like, it feels good. Yeah, it feels good. Fuck it feels good. Everyone's a dick, everyone's stupid. He's motherfuckers this school. Have you ever met somebody who's had, this is my, I think the kind of the more common one. You meet somebody who's like working at,

let's say a new job. And you're like, what'd you do before? I worked this place, just fucking idiots, and they blah, blah, blah, and you're like, oh, that sucks. What'd you do before that? I worked for another dumb fucking place, and they had a bunch of idiots.

It wouldn't listen, blah, blah, blah, and you're like, oh, I have a feeling that that's gonna happen at this new job. That's right. Right, because like this person will just kind of hop from employer to employer and have the same experience. And they never put together that they're the, like they've created this narrative that like,

I'm smart, everyone I work for is stupid. And this always goes wrong. It's like- Sad. Yeah, it's sad. Those people are in hell. Those people are wandering throughout. You just have, have, you know, because the weird reality is

anything you're looking at is literally your mind because the phenomenon is being filtered through your nervous system, assembled by your brain. So everything around you is you, meaning that if you're surrounded by assholes, that's your mind is an asshole. Your mind's an asshole. Your mind is a-

That's so true. ... pulsing asshole. The comedian version of what I'm telling you is, because I've heard it many times, is you'll see someone, maybe you haven't seen them in a while, and they're like, yeah, you know, fucking sucks. You know, I can't get, they don't want people that for like me, you know, doing gigs or getting hired for these things. And you're like, you think that they are singling out

your type? Yeah. Like it's like, yeah, I'm a fucking white guy. You know, they'll have their story of like why things aren't going well. And you're like, interesting that you've, like, because they had to build this up for themselves. Yeah.

This story in order to justify things not happening. Well, it's hard to deal with the reality that I think in any art form. Yeah. There's highs and lows and those lows are your fault, probably, like right now, it's just not working out. Like you kind of aren't funny enough and you, it's just not working right now. It'll get better probably.

It could get better. But acknowledging that in yourself hurts. It's very, because it's basically a huge slash to your ego. Yeah. Like, right? Like, I mean that can happen like you're single. Why isn't this going well, right? And you, that's another ego, right? That's another ego.

But right, you could be like, well, I'm not taking care of myself. I haven't been working. Yeah. You know, you, but you have to create a story to get through today. It's a lot easier to create an external story. Yeah, dude, then an internal one, drive all blames into oneself. That that's one of my favorite loge. It's like a mind training, Buddhist mind training, but I always remind myself of that. Drive all blames into oneself because anytime I'm blaming anybody else, well then you start trying to change the people around you. That's a feudal exercise for sure.

Oh, God, man. And it's such so many ear beatings you'll end up giving to people who don't give a fuck about what you're saying Please They're all in there. What are you talking about? Yeah No, they're great Yeah, man, it's brutal and you know in that line. Have you noticed this there's a thing It's like, okay, you know, like there's secret handshakes and stuff. Do I?

So there's this secret handshake people do now. I don't know if you've noticed this and maybe I'm just like applying this to the world when it's only happened to me a few times where certain sort of person will come up to you. Within seconds of talking will be like, is it, aren't things horrible right now in the world? And if you don't go, yes, my God, what a terrible world.

They think you like Trump. You noticed that? That is so funny. I what I noticed what I couldn't. I almost had embarrassment for myself in the moment that you were setting up this question in that I think human beings also, we do this thing where you try to match someone's take

at the moment. So when people, whenever someone comes in, they're like, oh man, things are fucked up. I'm always like, ah, yeah. Right, and I'm not even thinking that, things are fucked up. I'm always like, oh, yeah. Right? And I'm not even thinking that, right? Or then if somebody is like super happy, you kind of try to match that about how great,

oh, I'm so happy for you. If they're happy, they're like, that's great. No, you're right. It puts you in an awkward situation. It does, but the one that is actually, I feel like it's not productive. It's definitely not like you're not doing yourself or any favor is when you embrace

someone's like negative take on things. Like everything sucks, right? And you go like, yeah. And then what you're do is you search for what sucks. Even though it wasn't in your mind. So now you're like putting out this like shitty energy because you just want to be like polite to who met you or who you're like putting out this like shitty energy because you just wanna be like polite to who met you or who you're talking to.

It's essentially like you're giving each other negativity hand jobs or something. You're just like trying to find something bad. Yeah, like me too. Yeah, but have you even, or you try to one up the persons, whatever they say. Oh yeah, that's fucking bad, but did you hear? You wanna hear some real shit?

Pakistan just launched missiles into fucking Iran. I did that to you. What the hell? Sorry. It's all right. It's okay. No, but like, yeah, then what it does is like, I don't know, it also makes you question

when that thing happened in the moment, it makes you question, oh, I think it's like, it's a very split second thing. You're like, I should be more concerned about some of these things happening that I'm not letting occupy my mind or my energy. So maybe I'm a dumber or less worthy because I'm so caught up in things that don't matter.

Meanwhile, there's fucking missiles being launched. Yeah, that should be what I'm so caught up in things that don't matter. Meanwhile, there's fucking missiles being launched right. Yeah, that should be what I'm occupied with or but I mean, okay, so if Paranoia and fear and negativity Protected people from missiles No one would have died and that's true So if you're gonna get blown up by a missile like being a good mood Why not just being a great mood and not even know it's coming?

I mean, what are you gonna do? Yeah. Go in a bomb shelter? Can you play that guy Zolo, the military guy? That just popped, can you find him real quick? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah? This is, I gotta, I just, this was like a clip I saw of this guy.

It just made me think of this and his take on things. Just this is a, I don't know. I guess the argument you could make is that you need people like this. Right. The guys who are like down for real battle. Right. Okay.

Oh, Jesus. I killed about 10,000 Chinese and North Koreans with motor fire and artillery fire because there was a lot of targets the best way to put it. And plus with a rifle fire and hand, I killed another 400. Plus, I'm the top soldier in hand-to-hand combat in America. I've killed 20 people in hand-to-hand combat. I had a bad sense of humor, the best way to put it, I could have shot several people, but I beat them to death with a rifle instead. I kind of liked their rattled-ear cage.

I just got good at that stuff. And then my kid brother was killed in action in Korea, and I re-enlisted immediately. To me, it was just some stranger killing my brother, not an enemy. And I made up my mind I was going to kill a lot of people, which I did. I almost knew nobody. I didn't make friends, easy. The only person I had with me was a radio man, and I eight of them three killed and five wounded and then I had to send four back because they couldn't cut it they just panicked too much as Fred had died.

They're like please can you stop beating people to death just shoot them. I mean I know this clip I just have been fascinated by it just. I think it's just to hear somebody speak kind of casually about it. I mean, you know, those are the realities of war. I'm not trying to say that's not what happens in every war, but you also, you rarely hear somebody, I think, have that type of conversation about it, you know? They need, first of all, they need to remix it

with happy music playing. Instead of that, it's not fair that the dramatic music it really forcing a conclusion about what he was doing. And also it's also forcing a conclusion about how he feels about it. Because I don't think he feels very somberly about the whole thing. Now, he misses it. He misses it. He wants to get back there. If it if like if he was a young man, if there is a hell. Yeah. And he ends up in hell.

Yeah. He will start beating. If there is a hell. Yeah. And he ends up in hell. Yeah. He will start beating demons to death happily in hell. Do you mean he'll rattle their cage? I'll just rattle in your cage a little bit as I beat your head into a book. I've never heard that expression used for that. Rattle their cage a little bit. And it's weird since it's a humor.

This is a dad joke, baby. Yeah, I think... This guy's a, by the way, this is a Medal of Honor recipient. Yeah. Like, he's, you know, as highly awarded and regarded by the military as you can be. Yeah, I don't think people want to deal with the reality of war, that there are people like that who are out there right now. While we're just, you know, having fun on a podcast. Yeah.

There's people like that who are like, yeah, I have to rattle some cages today or some awful shit will happen in my country. I mean, I don't know, man. I like it's hard for me. some awful shit will happen in my country. I mean, I don't know, man. It's hard for me. The other thing is you always, you picture somebody who has done or does that kind of thing, having a certain appearance to them.

Yeah. And this just looks like your friend's grandpa. You know? Oh yeah, I would not. Like if I went over to my friend's job. This is Josh's grandpa. Yeah. I wouldn't even pay attention to him.

I wouldn't even think about it at all. He'd be like, you want to hear a story? Yeah. Sure. Do you have a bad sense of humor? You're like, uh-huh. Oh, you love this one. You'll like this one.

You'll love this one. I fed a man his own heart. I could have shot him, but I like to kind of tussle with him a little bit, you know? His radio operator's just puking. Like, oh, stop it! He's like, the thing is, back then I was a bit of a rascal. You're like, yeah?

That is very rascally. There's a way you could pull out a man's eyeball and show himself like a mirror. I used to do that while I was yanking their teeth out. He's like, you guys want a hot cocoa? And you're like, yeah, this sounds good. Thank you, sir. Your grandpa's wild, dude.

Have a banana. I peeled a man's dick once like a banana. Just rattled his cage. That's fucking crazy, right? Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Well, that's cool though, man.

Yeah, that's a real guy, man. What are we going to do? You're going to try to make everyone live the way you live? No. Some people, they need that. By the way, thank God. Thank God this man had a path he could channel what was in him. Yes.

To, like, if there wasn't a war at the time, if there isn't, like, somewhere to enlist and, like, an enemy to take this out on, this guy doesn't just go work at Ford Motor, right? He's not just changing tires. No. He's doing some other shit to get this out on this guy doesn't just go work at Ford motor. Right? He doesn't. He's not just changing tires. Now he's doing some some other shit to get it out. Yeah, man. Like that guy is not a greeter and Walmart. No fucking way. But you know, this is actually one of the like because

sociopaths are predictable. Like apparently there's some percentage of humans that are show up as sociopaths. There's all this like evolutionary psychology. Why? Why do they exist in one of the, I guess one reason could be that in the past, even maybe now, we needed people like that. You needed someone who didn't care about killing things.

Sure. Who didn't have like human compassion the way normal people do to go out and like hunt and go out and fight. You know, so these are people whose you know, their heart rates aren't elevated at all things that make us all have adrenaline spikes and they end up being really good at certain things like you could have them be a fighter jet pilot. You can have them be a race car driver.

Yep. You can have them, you know, sometimes they are playing high level sports. Sometimes they're in the corporate world. Sometimes they're in the military. Sometimes they're surgeons. Surgeons absolutely have a disproportionate number. Yeah, they're not affected by the loss of life in front of them. Yeah.

And sometimes they're the fucking green river killer You know, that's right. That's right. Sometimes they're out there just strangling basic bitch and then they're like Yeah, I have a sandwich dude, I guess it's like, you know, there's people you know, there has to be there's people out there Who aren't comedians? Yeah, who are probably 100 times funnier than any comedian working right now. And but they're working some weird job. They don't want, it hasn't occurred to them that it could work out for them.

So I guess like that guy is like a professional serial killer. And there's all these like hobbyist serial killers out there who haven't figured out a way to make money doing what they love. Sure. Which is. Do you think a serial killer watches that clip and they're like, Jesus Christ, this guy's good?

Like. Yeah. It feels better. Yeah. He watched like maybe, maybe there's like something where like, oh, and oh, they think something's a little off. You know, because of the way they've been beating strangers to death.

And then they see that and they're like, oh, okay. I'm not alone in this world. And look at Gramps, he's all right. Dude, he probably gets letters from serial killers who are like, thank you, I was gonna kill myself, but you made me realize that it's okay to rattle cages. I'm not. Whoa, that is wild though, man.

It's a good descriptor. Yeah, just rattling some cages. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha But yeah, I remember you play at any game like that and you just get bored Yeah, and you're like, you know, I'm just gonna start running over people Yeah, see if I can get away from the cops. Yeah, and then you turn the video game off You never think about it again, right? It's that I think they're that way but with people people They're just like ah board right right. You have to like tell them like do you remember when you ran that person over and they're like, yeah Yes, so can you're right. Yeah, I was visiting. I was visiting my cousin, Julie, up there. Yeah. Jesus Christ. I got the person make it and they're like, no, they're dead. Makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, I hit them real hard. Yeah. Because that's how they, if you see like, you know, there's a YouTube video comparing people fake crazy and real crazy like in an interrogation

Sure, and the fake crazy people are always like oh, there's voices They're like the real crazy person. It was just like what you're saying. They're interrogating this dude And they're like so what'd you do? And he's like yeah, I just took these kids and got him in my car tied him up and just drove him out and beat him to death And just calm not sad about it. I was like, why? I just wanted to. That's a sociopath and that person might,

like can, like that's legally insane because they don't know consequence. They don't have any sense that this is wrong at all. Yeah, it's really a- Yeah, they got, I remember I saw an interview with this, it was about, they were trying to find this serial killer, I think in San Francisco, and it was this guy who had a stutter,

like a notable stutter. And when they, you know, they were collecting all the evidence, and they finally interrogated him. They were like, why did you, did you kill so and so? And he was like, yeah. And they go, why?

He's like, so I could have sex with her. And they were like, okay, and then did you kill this other girl? And he's like, yeah. And they go, why? And he goes, so I could have sex with her. And so like they kept asking, and it was always the same.

And then they said he would lose his stutter just in like some of the moments where he would describe what he was doing. It just like released it for him and then he'd go back to his stutter. Holy shit. That's fucking crazy. So like that's the way to cure stuttering. The King's speech part two. Is that him?

There you go. I had pretty good memory. David Carpenter. Yeah, you always find neglect and abuse. So sad. So sad. Oh my God. It's always that.

It's always a shith parent behind the... Yeah. Usually for the really, really violent monsters, you never find any case where they don't have neglect or abuse. I think, isn't there some argument that Dahmer had pretty good parents, or that it was a normal? I don't think he was abused. Yeah.

But I think it's pretty well documented that he was pretty neglected. Like neglected. Not so much where you would think that this is what would come of it. Right. Yeah, but I don't know, he was a bit of a rascal himself. Dumber was a rascal, he had a weird sense of humor. He did, he was kind of, yeah.

Like he probably cracked that guy up with some of the stuff he did. Yeah, he was a knucklehead. He was a knucklehead. Yeah, yeah, lots of funny tricks. Yeah, some say that he was even knucklehead. It was a knucklehead. Yeah, yeah, lots of funny tricks. Yeah, some say that he was even a goofball. Oh yeah, for sure. He was a wild goofball.

You never, I remember I did a podcast with, it's still one of my favorite podcast moments ever, with the guy that tracked and was part of the team that got Escobar, you know, in Columbia. Yes. And I was like, yeah, Escobar, you know, in Columbia. Yes. You know, I was like, yeah, Escobar is a real goofball.

He goes, goofball? And I go, I try to keep it together. I was like, yeah, he goes, Pablo Escobar? And I go, yeah, he goes, you think he was a goofball? I go, wasn't he? He's like, yeah, I don't know if I would exactly use that term to describe it. A narco terrorist responsible for tens of thousands of murders. I was like, okay.

Goofball. I think we wrapped up. He was like, oh my God, that's hilarious. Yeah, that's fucking so funny. God, that's great. Yeah, that's the other, you know, that's the thing, man. That's, it goes back to what we were talking about before. People like that want you to zoom in to their reality,

to live in their reality. The moment you're outside of it, they get pissed and offended. It's like, he was a fucking goofball. He was kind of goofy, yeah. I mean, I'm sure he was fun. I mean, you talked to, I mean, I've seen the interviews with his son

He was like his great dad. I love him as a dad You know, yeah, he wasn't the best citizen, but he was a good dad right and he liked to have a good time Yeah, he would I mean he had a fucking zoo at the house who if you have a zoo at your house you're fun And he's also I guess you would have to say He's courageous. Yeah. I mean, he had big old balls. Yeah. Like that, like, you know, we're all hanging out here and default reality. Yeah.

We follow laws. We do what we're supposed to. We pay taxes, but just outside, there's people like him who are like, I don't want to live like that. Am I following your rules? That is so weird. When you have the government, like the whole entire,

imagine the government of an entire country is out to get you and your response is to send tanks into like the Supreme Court. I mean, that's fucking- Holy shit. Brazen, right? Yeah. Yeah, like.

I mean, if... You're not're not like all right you got me that never occurs to him if you we all die and realize like we're just at the mall in the future and this is some video arcade we're all fucking kids and we decided to play human reality simulator then when we're all back in the video arcade, whoever was doing Pablo Escobar, we're gonna be like, that was fucking incredible. That was wild, dude, yeah. Yeah, like that, you were,

like I was, I was just some fucking comedian item podcast, you were driving tanks into the Supreme Court. Fucking setting off bombs and shit. High score, that's a high score. Oh yeah, like that's the way you see the score and you're like, how and shit. High score. That's a high score. Oh, yeah. Like that's the way you see the score. And you're like, how does anyone get that score? That's it. Pablo Escobar. Pablo Escobar.

All right. Listen, we got to wrap up, but you can see Duncan Trussell. He'll be at Helium in St. Louis, February 22nd to 24th. He'll be at Hyenas in Dallas, April 12th and 13th. It's always so much fun to see you. Great to see you, man. I love hanging out with you. I love hanging out with you.

We should get together again and, you know, bring the kiddos and... Yes, for sure. Let's do it. Thanks. Get your tickets at dunkintrustle.com. Thank you guys. We'll see you next time. Bird, Tom, Tom and Bert. One goes top, the other wears a shirt.

Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call two bears, one cave.