2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Can A.I. Replace Bert? | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

SPONSORS: Brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/BEARS today to get 10% off your first month. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Download the DoorDash app today! To get 25% off your next alcohol order of $35 or more, up to $15 off max value. Pray for Bert! This week comedian and co-creator of Chapelle's Show, Neal Brennan joins Tom Segura on 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Neal isn't coming alone as he's brought an AI Bert to commentate/interrupt throughout the episode. Tom and Neal talk comedy specials, Kevin Hart's routines, the dynamic Christina has with Tom, Neal's own relationship, public restrooms, and flushable wipes. After an artificial interruption(AI), Tom and Neal discuss the very real concerns artists and creatives have with utilizing AI, Tom's potential narrative projects, and hecklers. Check it out! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 233 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Quick update, Bert has some neurological things going on right now. If you want to wish him well, I know it has to do with motor skills, but he's getting the best medicine and the best treatment. And I don't know, we wish him well. Are we doing promo right now? No, we just, you know, we want to wish him well. This episode is brought to you by Peloton. Spring is a great time to start a new workout routine. With the weather warming up, it feels easier to get into the rhythm of things. Whether you have 20 minutes or an hour for a Pilates class or an outdoor guided walk, Peloton has

everything you need to help you get going. Get a head start on summer with Peloton at onepeloton.ca. He's at the, I don't want to say the name of the clinic, but his top tier, and I think he's probably gonna be fine. And if he's not, you know, you're a great guy and you have a great family. Sitting in for him today is a buddy of mine who has a new special that's out right now on Netflix it's called Crazy Good.

Give it up for Neil Brennan everybody. Yeah. Couple of guys that wear glasses, you know how it is. Couple of real regular guys. I will say this, I think this is the blackest haircut I've seen on you. This, you know what?

With the line. Can I get to see my single? Yeah. Okay. Come on man, you remember. So, do see my single yeah, okay, and you remember so deep All right, well they turn turn a little that I'm number three in the in the like the Haircuts yeah Do you think white people had this? Before

They interacted with black people. Do you know what I mean? Like cultural appropriation. And then I go, well, so it's impossible white people thought of this? No, I mean, it's not impossible, but what I remember is that in the 90s, right, when you're like, man, this music's pretty fucking cool.

That you started to see white guys doing like, you know, fades and shit that I don't really remember before. So it's almost like there's like a timeline. It's like before Christ and after, right? Like there's, it kind of feels like. It's a perfect analogy. Yeah, it feels like, it feels like. But I do have a scar, so they just continued it. Oh, is that a scar?

It starts as a scar here, and then it becomes cultural appropriation. But it looks great. It looks pretty cool, I gotta say. And a black guy pitched it, a black barber. He pitched it to you? Yeah, do you know what I mean? So what am I gonna, I'm gonna thwart a black man's dreams Yeah, you shouldn't know and if I saw you I didn't know you I just saw this I'd be like yeah Let's do a cabal for sure this guy can ball or me. He makes beats

Yeah, or he oh, you're like you sneakers. He's the quiet beats guy. Yeah, you're like a John B Maybe I are you have your little briefcase that you come around what's in there beats man? Beats in my briefcase that you're coming around what's in there beats man? Beats in my briefcase Fuck you think I brought I Went guys you can go on AI and you can load in Burt audio. Oh, that'd be so nice of you. Yeah So I went in I loaded some bird audio and I brought some of it. Here you go I loaded some bird audio and I brought some of it. Here you go

For instance that is Is that that was just quotes from the show, what is that? No, this is I that's a oh Here you go. Honestly, be honest. What do you think will explode first, my heart or my liver? Tough to guess, right? Go on DraftKings right now and bet using promo code BERTCAST. Spoiler alert, it's going to be my asshole. Dude, uh, AI. There's more where that came from. That's pretty good. Thank you so much. Yeah, it's pretty pretty dangerous you load in Audio clips of Burt. Yeah, and then you can type in whatever you want. So if you if you if I'm gonna bring the app up and you Will let Tom do it and this is very exciting and

We'll go from there a couple things. This is also the best I've ever, I've never seen. I don't think your biceps, you have really nice arms. You know what I, this is a bit of an unveiling here today. I don't have, I don't have a reputation for being healthy. Yeah. But look, I mean you're vascular. Have you been lifting? I have a, yeah. Okay. I mean, whatever. I do the shit. I go to the gym.

Are you still? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm still getting after it. Still work out with a trainer. It's good. Type in whatever you want and then it will say it. Mezbert Kreicher. Okay, pretty good.

OK, let's see. It has to generate it. OK. And then once it generates it, hit play. Hitler is God to me. I know I'll see him soon. One more time. Hitler is God to me. I know I'll see him soon. So he so he loves Hitler and he's going to die soon. I don't know, man.

Or Hitler will come to him. Hitler will appear on a bird cast. He might rise. Great. I don't know. Yeah, fantastic. I don't know. Yeah. Fantastic. I mean, I didn't do this AI. You know what I'm saying? No, that's not, I mean, this, you would never say, this is like dealing with it. When a dummy is like, Hey, take it easy. Like when his, when, when, uh,

he's like the dummy says something contrary. You're like, Hey, there's nice people here. Dummy. Yeah. That dummy is super racist. Yeah. Yeah. You ever see Otto and George? Yes. That shit was hilarious. That was hilarious. Well, I want to tell you, before we get anywhere else, congratulations on the special.

Thank you very much. This is the third? This is my third Netflix, I have an hour and a half in Comedy Central and I have three and a half on Netflix. But this means you're very special because they are doing far less specials now on Netflix. Only one a week, one and a half a week? And well, you're gonna see them, but they're gonna fade down.

I know that. And you're a special guy. I made the cut. You made the elite cut. The elite. And you just had blocks. I feel like that was- And blocks came out November,

a year and a half ago. So, pretty, I'm doing pretty good. You're doing pretty good. Now, you're a strike while the iron's hot guy, although we've talked about how often a person should release schedule. Like, what do you think the right cadence is? I've changed on that.

Okay, great. Well, I think we all saw for a minute, it was like guys like Patton and Louie were like, every year I throw out my shit. And then if you're like this developing comic, you go like, oh, I guess I have to do that. Like, I guess, and you try to do it. And then you're just trying to like, oh, I guess I have to do that. Like, I guess, and you try to do it. And then you're just trying to like,

then whatever you can generate, fucking crank that out and just put it out. And then I actually feel like it was the last, because of the pandemic and everything getting kind of paused for a minute. And then staying out there touring where you're like, oh, letting this stuff marinate and grow and then working it, you go, you naturally drop a few things. You add things and then the stuff.

By the way, probably a thing that you would have sworn by, like, no, that's a fucking good bit. Listen to him. Fuck you. No, it's a great bit. And then you realize like, oh. But it was the time that made me realize it So I got almost your last tour The it was the tour lasted like two years and how badly did it damage your family pretty good

Pretty good great Well, the thing is that's everyone's asked me like about this tour, and I'm like, I'm so much happier. And the big reason is that the pace is so much more digestible. Like, so on the last tour, we would, I would leave like Monday night or Tuesday morning and do shows Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, fly home, come here for like 24 hours, record two or three podcasts and then leave.

And I was doing that every week for almost two years. And I also was like, yeah, but this is how it is, Neil. The fuck is wrong with you? And then you don't even realize that like you're doing it. Yeah. And so I just was like, hey, I can never, realize that like you're doing it. Yeah, you know like yeah, and so I just was like Hey, I can never I can't do that ever again. So what is it now? So just so you know like on average on that last tour I would do

20 to 23 24 shows a month and Now like because I now it's funny thing is like I announced tour and people were like, Jesus, you hate being home. And I'm like, count how many shows that is in a month. Now, sometimes it's like six, eight shows, nine shows a month. And so it's like Thursday, Friday, Saturday, typically, fly home a week off, maybe two weeks off, do it again. So what I've noticed is that on this tour, I get home, I go settle into life. I'm at the house.

I come here and by the time I go out again, I'm super excited to go out. Like I was so jazzed to go out this weekend. And that actually is a huge difference on stage. Like it's this thing where maybe an audience you go, they don't know. Yeah, they don't know the details of that, but there's something about you that is coming out when you're excited. You know when you first do a bit?

Yeah. And it's fucking crushing. Yes. And you're like, I can't, and then after about three weeks, it goes down to like the level it's gonna go down. If you do, if just do it less. Do it less, exactly.

And it'll last, that like what three weeks will last longer well, the thing was that last tour things started to feel like We got to just get through this. Mm-hmm, and it's supposed to be fun, man Yeah, it's supposed to be fun and on this tour. I think with the way that we have it lined up It's I'm having so much fun doing the actual shows and you could probably So the tour could be longer. Yeah calendar wise calendar wise it'll probably be longer, but it won't be Nearly as many it'll still damage your family, but like but the kind of stuff where you go well Here's a gift. Yeah, you know like I bought you a military school. Do you want to go to?

Yeah, dude like you're gonna have a cool motorcycle at 16. Yes, you can have one. Yeah, at least one. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. It can be easy to ignore our social batteries and spread ourselves thin, especially with social gatherings picking up after the winter, that's right.

It happens to all of us. What's the right amount of time for socializing for you? How much do you need to recharge? Maybe you thrive around people like myself or maybe you need some more time alone like my buddy Tom Segura or my wife Leanne. I tend to surround myself by those people and it makes sometimes relationships a tad bit more complicated. Look, therapy can give you self-awareness to build a social life that doesn't drain your battery and doesn't make you create this large wake to drain other people's batteries because you talk about it in therapy.

What makes Leanne thrive is sitting on the porch reading a book. What makes me thrive is finding a cool bar, meeting a bunch of people, having a good time. It's not her vibe. But we've talked about this in therapy. If you're thinking about starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.

Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Find your social sweet spot with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash bears today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P dot com slash bears. Is your beer fridge feeling a little empty? DoorDash

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drink responsibly, delivery and promotions available only in select markets. And okay, great. So my question is, do you feel like you had to make that much money before you were like, oh, great. So my question is, do you care, do you feel like you had to make that much money before you were like, oh, okay. Let me, now I can chill a little like it, eh. I feel like it's this, it wasn't even about money. It was like the stupid competitiveness we get into of like,

yeah, but I can keep doing more. I can do more. Like, you know what I mean? Like, let me do more markets and let me add more show. Like, it was the adding of like, but I can, it's like saying, like, can you do another push up? And you're like, I keep going. I could, yeah.

And so you're trying to like, you know, you're trying to, you think it's important to see the number of things go up and then when you're done, you're like, the fuck am I doing? What am I doing? And now I do not care. I literally don't care who does the most of anything. It's also just like, let Kevin Hart have it.

He can have it, yeah. He can have it on his four hours of sleep every night where you're like What do you do? I don't know how you wake up does a promo Yeah, his wife wakes him up the middle of night and he does like enter chase somebody told me like for this for movies They're like, yeah, he will shoot a movie Monday through Thursday and then take a plane and then do gigs and then fly back Sunday night to be ready to shoot Monday morning. I'm like, okay, this is a whole fucking I don't know what's going on like that's just it's insane and then but by the way, it's not just the movie and

And the stand-up and plus the 40 other endeavors. He has directed some of his chase commercials Yeah, so I'm shitting on a person that I'm I'm not Yeah, I'm just like I I've benefited from it. Well, we all know he's a machine. He's a machine. Like he's he's the real machine He He is though. Yeah, he's like, oh, you know why? Cuz you ever do you see that documentary about him on Netflix? I didn't actually. I'm shocked. He grew up really poor,

like fucking like cartoon cutaway poor of like a dilapidated row house in Philly. And his mom, to keep him safe, his mom would just schedule the shit out of him. Okay. So it was like debate, swimming, work, homework, all the clubs he was like, just all the sports clubs, whatever. We're gonna occupy your time.

So he just does that on his own. That actually makes a lot of sense. I know it does. Once I heard it, it was like, oh, I'll never shit on his like, need to do shit constantly again. Cause it's what he knows basically. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, yeah, but I feel, I feel, I feel like here's the thing I'll say. You have to figure it out yourself. Like I, you know, for me, like it's like, we talked about this when I did blocks, but it's like, uh, you know, I can give this speech to a guy that's about to do what I did and he's not going to be like, that's a good point. I think I will cut down my tools. You know something, mister? Yeah. Yeah. You're a lot wiser than me and I see, no, you just have to do it yourself, man.

You have to go like, oh yeah, that did suck. Yeah. Yeah. And it didn't prove anything. It didn't prove anything and I did not feel like, oh, now everyone knows. How many people do you think come to that conclusion though? Do you know what I mean like D? How many how often do you learn something how many learn and change? That's a good. That's cuz I'm cuz I recently have gotten to a place of like I'm less Ambition not less ambitious, but I'm less like they think and all like the narratives you tell yourself I'm just like yeah, I just don't I don't I don't listen to it anymore

Yeah, like I've just gone like no. I'm not listening to that you Here's the best thing you can do is actually Know what's going on, but just live in your own world like you know I mean what I mean? Like, I'm out doing my own thing. I have my family, I have my work. And the more that you, I think, are present in your own stuff, the less you even catch of what's going on outside of you. Yeah.

You know, like, you hear, like, you can get, everyone's been in that mode where you're like looking, what's he doing? What's he doing, what's he doing? That usually means, though, that you're probably not super into what you're like looking yeah what's he doing what's he doing what's he doing that usually means though that you're probably not super into what you're doing if you're so caught up in like everyone else's stats and what it is yes and it's a good motivator yeah well you go I need to do some shit yeah but if you are lost in what you're doing like you're really like in your work

things are happening that are going past you you're not even aware yeah even aware and that's the best place to be where you're like oh in your work, things are happening that are going past you. You're not even aware. You're not even aware. And that's the best place to be where you're like, Oh, I didn't know. That's great. Good for you. Good for the, and also that you're not, uh, competing directly with people or. It's like just a waste of time. You can't.

Yeah. And also like, what do you want? But it's hard to remember. Like, what do I want? Yeah. What do I actually like? Do you ask yourself that I? Try I really do try to ask myself that like where I'll

What just figure out like what do I like doing? Like what you're pretty good with that like it seems like you're good with like hobbies and shit and cars and all that shit. Yeah Whereas I like I realize I just like like watching documentaries and walking You're getting good at that though. I saw you walk in. Yeah You guys have hope they didn't film it but it was pretty great we have it on security. Yeah, great and And I'm what I say watching documentaries already. I don't like hanging reading like I don't like doing shit You like to travel kind of I mean you're single guy. No no anymore not anymore, but okay congratulations. Thank you so much his name

It's she's a British woman, and she's a therapist oh Jesus, Jesus. So, it's pretty healthy. Wow. I have a, Bert has a thought about it if you'll slide by my phone real quick. Sorry. No problem. Yeah. Bert, Bert had some thoughts about it.

If you'll just wait here. Yeah, British woman therapist. You wanna know how poorly I understand Neil Brennan? Last week I asked Neil if he and his British therapist the intentionally, accidentally grazing his beautiful girlfriend's silky British thighs. Fuck. He'd probably rather talk about Chappelle's show for the 1000th time. So there you go. Sorry. There you go. Did you fart?

I did. It was, I'm sorry. I think it was Bird's voice. Yeah, no, it was, it was contagious. It's a laxative, Bird's voice. So, so yeah, British. So I don't really like doing stuff. And I had to convince her, like, I don't like doing stuff.

She'd be like, well, let's go. I'd be like, I don't want to. But how's, here's the real question. How long have you been dating each other? Over a year. How, what's her response? I think this is everything. What is her like response to you being like, I don't want to do this is everything. What is her response to you being like,

I don't wanna do this and that? I think the natural female response in my life has been like, you don't wanna do it with me. But she's realized like, no, you don't wanna do it at all. And now she finally admitted she doesn't like doing stuff either. There you go. And that's why you're here.

Yeah. That's why we got a shot. Yeah, yeah. So that's been great. And it is occupying in terms of time and shit. Yeah. That's the thing about couples, I think, is like, do you, if someone's like, my favorite thing is to go explore.

And like, if the other person's like, fuck yeah, then you're like, this is a great match But you have great Explorer versus like I like to lounge. No, it's gonna not work Yeah, that's not gonna work cuz they're you're gonna resent each other that hundred percent and it's over Like you got you you and Christina. What do you like what you like watching documentaries? I mean We are like a lay around lay around, like lounge type. We're not like, I don't want a lot of plans. So like as far as just, you know, the energy of the person, like what you're about, it's that part, you're a match. Like we can just, even if we take a trip,

it's like we can go take a trip and like not have plans Just hang out. Yeah, that's fun. That's enjoyable Yeah, and yeah put on something like we don't always watch the same, but she'll be like whenever she goes to bed She's like put on some murder for me to fall asleep to it because she knows I'm gonna watch like either some true crime Docker. Yeah, or some scripted Movie that is like heinous and insane and she's like like yes, I'll drift off to one of your deaths but that's a you know, there's a like a way that that is actually working right and And so are you glad she's a comic? Maybe this that helpful in terms of like

You're knowing what you're like a thousand percent. I mean I remember early on because I was a Young comic and people would go You know you just hear people say and I don't even know what they mean at first They're like one thing you never want to do is date a comic and I was like, oh, yeah, of course Yeah, they're the worst. Yeah, I was like, yeah, definitely. I mean we are so why would we want to date one? I mean, I didn't even understand it. Yeah, and then it was you know, people had these horror stories about I mean we are so why would we want to date one? I mean I didn't even understand it. Yeah, and then it was you know people had these horror stories about I mean some of it was that they would date a comic and then Break up and then they have to see that person and you're like, oh that makes sense

But and you knew you would never break up with Christina no matter what no I thought I just I was like Oh this to me makes sense in terms of the fact that when you're Doing something and the other person knows exactly What it is that you're doing like they get everything. Yeah, I gotta go do another spot They're not like why are you going to spots? Yeah, or you know we would there was a time when we would both leave We're living in LA. We'd both leave Wednesday Because you had to get there for the Thursday morning press and do the weekend and fly back Monday and we would

have our 48 hours together and then we would both split again. That was like, we were both doing that three to four weeks every month. But I mean, I thought it helped. Imagine if she were home that whole time. Mad. Yeah. Like why are you keeping doing this? It's like, yeah, this is the gig. Well, does the separation now help? Do you think it's separated? Cause I, my girl's from England, so I didn't, I wasn't seeing her that much.

Yeah. And I think it'd give more lifespan to the, to like the connection and the relationship. So it's not all spent. There's that factor. The other thing that I realized now, especially, I recognize it more when I see it in her, is that when you have kids and you have your home life, how much a weekend of gigs for her is so good. To like go, leave the kids, get away, do the thing you love, which is stand up.

Yeah. Not kids. Not kids. You don't love the kids. You love this job. No, but like, you know, go have fun, go recharge. Don't have the responsibilities. And then when she comes back, it's just like, she's gone like two days.

And I see it, she's like, that was the best. And you're like, okay, so you need, like you have to have this too. So we trade in that thing. You leave, you do your work, come back, and everybody feels better. Yeah, great. Yeah, I don't, she's, we're figuring out

where to live and all that shit, but yeah, I'm confident it's gonna work. We have to take a quick break. I have to go to the bathroom. Okay. Okay, sorry. Sorry that that farting thing Was a harbinger NBA fans listen up You've got to try pick six the newest fantasy app from DraftKings an official partner of the NBA getting started is

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I mean, I obviously prefer it. Also, like, you know, you're having a meal at the hotel restaurant, and you have to go to the bathroom. I'm like, yeah, I'm going up to the room. I'm not gonna use the one down here. Why would I? What? Has anyone questioned you on that?

I mean, it's just had come up before, like, you know, they're like, why don't you just go here? I'm like, cause my room's upstairs. Yeah, cause I wanna get my computer and put on my shit outfit. Yeah. My shit jacket.

I have a friend, I have a friend that would get completely naked. I've heard of that. Yeah, he got completely, he would get completely naked every time he had to go. And it just seems like he started that way and couldn't. I'm assuming it's a guy, because I feel like a woman wouldn't.

It's a thousand percent a guy. Yeah, there's no woman who's like, I always get naked just shit. Yeah, yeah, no, yeah. I don't like an off-campus. I think lifetime, I think I'm under five. Lifetime. Lifetime? I mean,'m under five Lifetime Lifetime I believe I mean it's five or less you look like someone who goes in a very healthy way

Are you very healthy you'd be surprised really not as obvious? I'd like to see some footage. Yeah Yeah, I don't I I just don't like leaving. I don't I just don't want to be in a stall I can figure it out. You can. I'll just wait. Yeah. Have you ever shit on a plane? Oh, here's, you know what? I haven't. Oh. But I did.

All right, I was in Hong Kong, first time I went to Hong Kong. Mm-hmm. And I stayed at like a nice hotel. Shout out to Sam's Taylor. And shout out to New Punjabi Club. Keep going. Fantastic.

And stay at a hotel, stay at like maybe there's a Shangri-La maybe? I don't know. Yeah, nice hotel. And ate a meal first night. And then went to sleep. And in the middle of the night, kinda. Feel a tug. Little something. Went to sleep and uh, in the middle of the night, kinda...

Feel a tug? Little something? Mmhmm. Ended up uh, shitting the bed. Really? Yeah. How does that happen? Carelessness.

You went to... Well no, I just thought it was a fart. Oh, okay. And then it ended up, and then I was kinda like, well I can squeeze, whatever. Was it a little Thing it wasn't like a huge, but it was It was like I can't just ignore that and go no I did though. Oh you did. Yeah, I shouldn't have but I did You're just like and and I woke I woke up the next day because I was kind of in the middle night So yeah, and it had gone into the mattress

middle nights I didn't know. And it had gone into the mattress. Wow. And then, so then the next night I'm like, we're, what we're going to, I've never had like long food poison. So I'm like, I'm good. I'm good. Did it again into the mattress, a second stain into the mattress. And this is when you switch rooms, right? I mean, I don't I had to leave the country. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't. I didn't even know what to do because I didn't want to call.

I didn't. It's like, do I just not say anything? I crumpled it up. I think I tried to do like the wet wipes and I'm not banned. So wait, in the morning after the first one, you don't call housekeeping and be like, we got a little situation? I don't think I did.

This is like the first 48. Yeah, yeah. Take it, shit, shit to bed. Yeah, it's like, look, I know you love your mom. Oh. No, I didn't call nobody. I I don't even I didn't take that shit. I've been there buddy. Mm-hmm So yeah, so I don't like I have a pretty stellar record in terms of public shit I feel like now I am just Completely at the point. I wasn't always like this where it's like

If I'm anywhere and I'm like, I gotta go, I'm like, then I'm going. Like there's no, the thing that has changed my whole life is that I have a washlet, you know, the total washlet. Yeah, I have one, yeah. And then when you leave. By the way, you can get cheaper ones for way less. You can, yeah.

The washlet's like a thousand bucks or something. Yeah, yeah. There's ones that are like 99 bucks. Yeah, yeah. Like Tushy, I think is what the brand. But when you leave and the first time you don't have that, you're like, I'm an animal. This is disgusting.

It's like fucking like a, you're like a peasant. And then Jeff Tate is the one who, we do the road together a lot, and he always has the flushable wipes with him. Yeah, and I'm like This is genius. He's like, yeah, dude, just go buy a bag. They sell these some fucking everywhere And every time I see him, I'm like, do you have those? Wipes on you. He's like, yeah, you need some like yeah. Yeah, you know, I do and he's like, why don't you carry these?

I'm like, I just I yeah, I can't remember Like but they're so cool. Yeah, there's also a portable Tushy. I think I I got one of those as a gift and I was like great. Yeah, I don't know. You're just not gonna Yeah, cuz also how do you carry it or like but flushable wipes? Yeah game changer, too Also, I don't know if they are flushable are they flushable some of them say it on there Okay, it says like these are because I guess they're made with a different right thickness to it or something sure Here's the thing don't even doubt it. Just get them. Yeah get them and especially if it's not your toilet, right? I mean it's not yeah take it from me someone else's pipes. Yeah, it's someone else's mattress

I was the shine rule. I can fix it have your fucking they're covered. They'll get another mattress. They don't fire Oh, you've been do you did you do more the more the ayahuasca? Did I do that again? No, I didn't do ayahuasca. I did I got connected to No, I didn't do ayahuasca. I did, um... I got connected to... Yeah....the people who do the retreats and all that. You didn't do it?

I haven't done it. No. I mean, it's just been too hard to schedule, too. But the guy was like, come to this thing with like 20 people, and I was like, nah. See, I would... I'm with you, but you can get a lot out of it. I mean it's something interesting about, it's not, you're not, no one's gonna care that you're, like no one cares about that. But I get that it's like, ah. Yeah, I was like, how about a private?

And he was like, ehh. You can do it, but I think you'll like the group more. And I was like, I think I like the private. Have you seen my work? Not that into- I was like, give me the private. He's like, seen my work? I was like, give me the private. He's like, it's expensive. I was like, man, what do you got?

Let's see what it is. What's expensive to you? Yeah. I was like, give me a taste. Let me see what you're talking about. Any other drugs for you? Drugs-wise, I got, there's all, now there's like, there's, you know, there's so many people

in the health and nutrient and supplement world. That now like somebody gave me, they're like, oh, you should take this in the morning. I'm like, what is it? They're like, it's like mushrooms. And I'm like, but it's like packaged. Yeah.

I was like, get your day started. Yeah. I'm like, okay. I've been taking those from time to time. Those are good. Great. Yeah, not not really I really loved this drug Viavance I think it's called yeah it's like a version of it's

like Adderall Adderall yeah and my doctor I keep going like what about now he's like no he's like nah I go why's like, there's too much cardiac risk. And I'm like, my heart's fine. I'm fine. And he's like, yeah, no, I can't because I don't feel comfortable with it. And I'm like, what if I just did it anyway? And he's like, no.

So he keeps shooting it down. How much did you do it? I just did it once. And I was like, this is the best. Was there anything cardiac-y about it? I just did it once and I was like this is the best I Was uh was there anything cardiac II about it? Not at all. No, but it's just the risk He's you know, he just goes by I know there's a risk and I don't want to put you in that position and I'm like like what have you hired a person like a Like a organ guy. Yeah, like just to pay him 100 grand a year, and you have dibs

On his organs. Oh, yeah What about the staff? Yeah? Yeah guys? What are you? Yeah? Who's the fur he looks good? What would you like would you like to be an organ donor? Yeah, I think I'm at the best. Okay. Not loyal, go ahead. I'm an organ donor. I got my little sticker on me.

But I'm saying like, you work, you are expressly for, you can't give to anybody else. Yeah, they're for me. Oh, organ donor to YMH. Well. Well, not everyone under the umbrella. Just to Tom. And if I run into a problem, you know, we take it. Order can toner. Yeah. Just to Tom. Just to Tom's pocket.

Um, yes, boss, this sounds like a good idea. I'm on board. All right. Cut the mic. So I buy it. Yeah. That felt genuine to me. Yeah, I guess. And there's that thing too, where like when your doctor expresses that, you're kinda like, come on, man. But then you're like, are you fucking cool or not? Yeah, what's up? And the other, but by the way,

they sell it in Mexico, like in the store. Mexico's real close. It's awfully close. It'd be a real shame. They sell that there? Vyvanse, yeah. I bought it there. Now, do you like it? What do you think? Yeah. Yeah, I a real shame. They sell that there by Vance. Yeah, I bought it there now. Do you like it?

What do you think? Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna write I It's great for everything. Oh, this is what I was gonna ask you earlier because of the wonderful app you were using Do you because the first thing I think of with with you is actually writing? Mm-hmm, and that was the first thing that everybody was talking about when the writer strike started. They're like, yeah, there's genuine concern about AI. And actually, I had a lunch with a movie producer and I joked and he was like,

ah, we could have AI write it. He's like, actually, he goes, it's not that bad. He's like, he goes, it's not that bad What sad is they're gonna have to The the AI is gonna need a human overlord, uh-huh like it would take Like you say AI write an action movie, whatever now the funny thing is I Was talking to Jimmy Carr about it and I said like, like, are you worried about A.I.? And he was like, not at all.

And then he said, a friend of mine tried to A.I. some Jimmy Carr jokes, and it said it couldn't do it. And then I did it, and I sent him the jokes. And I sent him five jokes. He goes, I would do three of these. there are if you have a certain kind of joke They can AI can hack the sort of formula the other part to that is that let's say these are like not great We're also in like version one of it. Yeah like five years from now. You don't think it's gonna be like

Unbelievably better like yeah leaps and bounds think it's gonna be like unbelievably better? Like by leaps and bounds it's gonna be so much better. The question become, well I think you should be able to, you should be able to hide or whatever, buy AI, enter your body of work into it and then own whatever it generates. Oh that's interesting. Like that I think would be kind of useful. Like that shit with like a Drake song. Mm-hmm. If I'm Drake, I'd be like, yeah, see what this,

see what he can do. See what he does, yeah. And then if I like it, I'll redo it or something. Or as I was gonna say, what if it gives you something where you're like, this isn't something I would put out, but I can work with this. Yeah. Yeah. I'm betting people are close to doing that. Yeah.

The issue becomes there's gonna be need of human overlord to like examine it and then decide what's usable or not. And then eventually they're going to get replaced. Yeah. My question with AI is if they, so no one's going to work all that stuff. Everyone gets put out of work. How are they, how, how How are they gonna sell shit to people that don't have any money? Do you know what I mean?

If no one's working, if no one has an income, then I'm not gonna be able to buy whatever the AI is generating. So there's gonna have to be some sort of... It's just gonna take everyone's work? You're like, oh, okay. Yeah. Society's gonna probably collapse in the next 10 years anyway. Yeah, sure. everyone's work you're like oh yeah oh and then yes so it'll just either I mean

society's gonna probably collapse in the next ten years anyway yeah sure yeah but it's just about as many specials as you can yeah do what you can but so it just figuring out like what is the the I don't I don't I have no fucking idea I have no it's one of these things where I'm like I can't even picture it yeah cell phones you can see sort of see, it'll be a computer on your whatever. That shit, but this is like, I have no, but I've heard people be like, the Jimmy Carr joke thing was like interesting.

And they were pretty good jokes. And you just, how did you feed it? I said jokes about social media in the style of Jimmy Carr. And then it just gave you stuff. And just gave me, yeah, gave me five jokes. And it wasn't, and it's- I would use three of these. Yeah. Yeah.

So, yours would be, you'd be harder, but they could probably figure out a version of it. It would just be like the worst version of, your worst fears about yourself. Yeah, it's like, this is who you are. Yeah, yeah, basically, you would be like, it's what you are You know, there's some panache you guys are missing but like maybe not so So yeah, so that's the so I'm not worried about it

And the other thing is like or I'm almost done. Anyway, sure we only get a window in this. Yeah. Yeah, like I'm you know I'm not at the beginning of it. So No, so like a little ride. Yeah, pretty good so far. I've had a couple different jobs Like I'll just and then I'll be like, all right, we good. Do I need to keep doing this? Thanks so much Yeah, thank you. Yeah, that's kind of how I feel Although I do like I like the stand-up part of it. Yeah, like the stand-up part of my career. Yeah, it's fun That's been yeah. Yeah, it's been significant It's there. They've all been fun, but that this part's fun, but like looking back when I'm like

Just having done a bunch of shit. It's fun to have done a bunch of shit. Yeah, dude I I know the special is out I saw The clips. Yeah, it's very good. I saw the clips. Yeah. It's very good, man. Thank you. Yeah.

Thank you. It's very good. Thank you very much. It is funny like trying to get guys like you who knew me as a writer and be like, yeah. No, it is, I know. But it's very funny. I mean, it's insightful, smart, really good stuff,

really good jokes. I mean, the three that I saw were very, very good. Yeah, there's a, well, what do you think, I have a joke about that they're turning to comedians now for like moral leadership. It's hilarious, because it's so spot on. And then fine, like it comes to transgender issues and they go, well, what do the clowns think?

Yeah, that's like. Why are you asking? Who cares? Why, what the guy whos think? Yeah, that's like. Why are you asking? Who cares? Why, what the guy who played Rick James thinks about transgender, like why, or why are you talking, why are you looking to Joe for fucking vaccine? It's so silly. You and I, when COVID broke out, did you go,

well, I better call Joe. No, I called my cousin who's an infectious disease doctor. Yeah. Like, I was like, hey, this is your field. Yes. If I want to know about how to choke somebody out, I'll call Joe. Yeah.

Yes. That was, yeah. That's how I go through everything. I don't call you when I have a problem with my car. Correct. I call the mechanic. And I'm like, what is going on? So yeah, the whole, the funny thing is that people

are like, well, you should use your platform for this, and I'm like, no, I shouldn't. That's not the whole point of this. Also, your platform would die within six months if you started being a responsible, that's not the point. That is definitely not the point. The point is to get misinformation out there.

And you've been so good with it. And also if you are wanting something sincere and virtuous and helpful, our whole thing is to mock that. Yes. Fucking go to church. Or go to wherever you need to go, but the effect that it's supposed to be It's so weird. Yeah, your pronouns are gay Yes, that's what we do here. Yes, that's you're not supposed to be respectful No, and like no we're affirming values. It's interesting too about even like if you want to go after like

you know Any comic Dave anybody about it's like there's also You're getting you're you're forming your opinion about them in the thing that they do Where they're supposed to not be respectful and polite and insight, like if you have a one-on-one conversation over dinner with a comedian about these topics, then you're getting a sincere take on how they might feel. And then you can be like, oh, that's actually,

but like once there's a microphone, the whole point is to be silly, inflammatory. And actually you almost in a way, try to just be the funniest, disrespectful person you can be. Like that's what's funny. If it's the funniest thing you can possibly say, then fuck it, that's what you're supposed to say. And then to report, like, this is unbelievable

that they did this, really? That the goofball was fucking goofing around? Let me get this straight. This, I mean, the joke I used to make five years ago was like, so let me get this straight. Louis CK, the guy who asked Donald Rumsfeld live on Opie and Anthony if he was a lizard person. Yeah. Asked Donald Rumsfeld, are you a lizard person that guy didn't do sex normally are you shitting me like that goes to every one of these scandals people where it's like you know every one of these comedians is kind of doing what they're supposed to do other than once it broke laws but like yeah this idea that word now because you popular, now you have to become like a member of the

government or something. Or like a- You know, you could actually study this, where when you see popular comedians, then go, and now I will speak for society. Yeah. And be very serious about it. How everyone's like, oh, actually, actually you're going to lose everyone. Yeah.

Because the people who like you for being a comedian are going to be like, you're not being a comedian. Yeah. And then the people who were like, I wanted you to be like this. They're like, who the fuck are you? Well, yeah, they don't like it anymore. Yeah. Say like that you were sort of, let's say Carlin is an example of when people,

George Carlin was just like, he fought for free speech. Yeah, but he was saying like, he was saying shit, whatever, all the shitty, the seven dirty words or whatever. And then Carlin later on had a bit that I mentioned when I was doing Press the other day about anorexic girls where he's like, rich bitch won't eat, fucker. How's that for like- It's not helpful. No, exactly, it's not very nice or kind or like supportive of the community or whatever, but like that was never supposed to be his job.

If you're doing the Daily Show or something like John was, but even he had, I remember, and he had like a thing where he used to go, I'm on after robots yeah yeah why are you holding me to the standard and then I think eventually he just accepted that he was it's kind of a moral leader yeah and he also I think there's a thing with John specifically where he you know he knows on a certain level that he just is smarter than most people.

He's a really smart guy and then unfortunately for him there is some responsibility with being really smart. Because you have to go like, okay well I can tap out and be like,, I'm fucking too dumb to understand this anyway Yeah, but at a certain point like when you really have a grasp of things you have to you know You do something with that. It's also what his audience expects Yeah, and because Trevor's in this Trevor Noah's same boat Seth Meyers John Oliver Yeah, there's a few guys where you're kind of supposed to be like But at this but if they didn't want to do it, I would totally understand Yeah, for sure. And yeah, like I, they're all like that anyway.

Yeah. But I don't, expecting other people to be like that is just because they're popular. That's it. It's like, well Joe, you're popular. So now you have to become like- I will say this about Joe, from the, when his popularity really exploded with the podcast, he's the one that always points out, like he'll say what he has to say, share his opinion, and then he'll be like, look, I'm a fucking weed smoking comic that loves fights.

I'm a fight commentator. I know, they always edit that part out. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, don't fucking listen to me. Well, that's the thing. It's like Joe spread so much info misinformation about vaccines It's like yeah, but he also spread information about elk meat Yeah, I mean that didn't take off like he's he's espoused a bunch of shit that just didn't it's they they only take

The shit that they are is very authentic to who he I've met that's the thing. He's not lying No, he everything he he is. That's the thing, he's not lying. No, he is like that all the time. This guy wakes up and takes the day, starts with a cold plunge, works out, does podcasts, does archery, does stand up, eats the elk, like all the things, that's really how he is. There's no days off really from any of this and then he talks about it Yep, and you know you can be like I don't give a fuck or you can be like I like all this whatever it is Yeah, that's one guy telling you exactly how he is yes, and if he if he became like a mouthpiece for the NIH It would all kind of be meaningless kind of yeah, it would just become like he's not there to read information

He's there to talk about elk meat. Yeah, and he's a naturally like he's always been a skeptic and been like, huh? What's up with this? I don't fucking buy this like always yes It would but it used to be aliens and weed and all that shit. Yeah. Yeah, and then and then I think they're making a comeback I think the aliens are coming back. Great. So yeah, so I just find the whole thing kind of stupid. And then I also do a bit that I didn't send you, but about how I want like good mental health for people.

Yeah. Like there's a big movement in sports now. I'm like, I want good mental health for everybody, but not athletes. I'm like, we good mental health for everybody, but not athletes I'm like we need our athletes to be total psychos Yeah, like like did you watch the last dance? Yeah, Michael Jordan seemed mentally healthy to you in the slightest He's so unhealthy. He's out of his mind. Yeah, all those guys are yeah all the actually say this all the Elite ones I want to be like him like you know

Elite ones that you go, I wanna be like him. No, you don't. LeBron said last week on his podcast, JJ Reddick, in order to be great, you have to hurt your family. Yeah, yeah. Or like hurt your loved ones or something. It's like, yeah, you sure do. Every great anything, it's another bit, psychopaths and drug addicts.

Yeah. Almost to a person. And in sports where like you're competing with the most elite athletes If you want to be at another level than they are. Yeah, you're making crazy decisions. Yeah Lance Armstrong got a blood transfusion During a race. Yeah Pulled over. Yeah got in a bus new blood Back on the bike on the bike. Yeah

So yeah this idea of like we need good mental health for everybody It's like you don't want it for inventors. You don't you don't want it No, and good work-life balance if you want to see greatness, you know, you don't want them to have great mental health I think they're not gonna they're not gonna bother No, they wouldn't. They do other shit. The other funny, really funny thing you said is like when people are like, yeah, but is that person nice?

When everyone's thing is, you know, I think this person's talented, but are they nice? The joke in the special is, is Ellen nice? Yeah. And the joke I wanted to say is, don't worry, you're never gonna meet her. And if you are, it would be real brief.

Yeah, and unless you're a $50 million house, you're never gonna meet her. Because those are the only kinds of houses she likes. So yeah, but they move the goalpost basically. Like, you're talented, but are you nice? You're nice, but or and the other thing is like Sandler's very nice. Yeah, he couldn't get a good review for 30 years Yeah, exactly. So what good did it do and or Ellen's like a really helped gay people a lot of good It did her when when people started saying she wasn't that nice Yeah, and also how nice do you think?

that nice. Yeah, that's true. And also, how nice do you think? Again, I and I'm not and Ellen is a fucking hilarious person. So like, I'm not going to be like. But the idea that how nice do you expect America wants to like marginalize people and then be like, you better smile when we bring you back. Yeah. Muhammad Ali. Yeah. Don't forget the fact that we like put you on ice for five years. When you come back You better be nice and you better be kind and all that shit. It's just these unreal expectations for

The wrong people it's true. And America does really like to go we want to we want to see this person Really succeed and we like to lift them up and they're like that's enough. Yeah, and then Make that person come down shit all over them and then they go god. They're really down now Let's bring them back bring them back a little bit and hopefully they have a smile on their face Yeah, you've and you better be nice the whole time because we say so why should I forget? And you're supposed to forget. Yeah, which People can't for it, you know, if you know people they don't forget? And you're supposed to forget. Yeah. Which people can't, you know, if you know people, they don't forget. So, you know, so yeah, I'm like advocating for.

I don't know. Now the next thing is like, well, who should be, who should the leaders be? Yeah. Who should the leaders of society be this point? It's Cause all the church and clergy people were fucking. Yeah. And then all the government people are corrupt. The government people are, and that's who does get to lead. Yeah. And then the people who you go,

I wish this person would be a leader. Like the person you really, like those people go, no, I'm way too aware to want to get involved in that mess even if you made a board right like made like a Auxiliary board or like a supreme a five-person board of like how America should be who would you even put on it? Yeah, it's like because I've done this in my head like Dolly Parton That ever that most people would agree on yeah, Dolly Parton that most people would agree on. Yeah. Dolly Parton.

Denzel. For what? Well, like he just seems like the wise, put together, kind of centered guy who I go, that's how you're supposed to be as a man. Yeah, I guess he's like a football coach. Yeah. He feels like the kind of man you go, that's how to conduct yourself. Yeah, talented, educated, and yeah, like an ethical guy. Yeah.

Obama? You think people on the right would take Obama in? No, they wouldn't. They'd definitely take Denzel over him. The Rock? He's so popular. Yeah. So yeah, and he has, he's great branding. He has great branding. Jon Stewart. Yeah, like, and here's the thing. If you're going to have Jon, you have to have John you have to have because people accept that he is super bright yeah you know and and and a good person but they're also like hey man this guy's a mouthpiece for the left so you have to have almost an equal who's equal to John on the right to create the balance. Kid Rock. Yeah.

You said it. Yeah. Kid Rock. Yeah, you need the balance. Yeah, Kid Rock, you need the balance. Yeah, and then I've run out of people. Cause everybody else is so polarized. Yeah.

Cause Dolly Parton's 70 something. To like, she like kind of is too old to even be considered in the Right Taylor Swift. No, and the funny thing about that is that everybody be like, you know, I like this Dolly this Dolly choice And then she would voice something like well, you know women trans people should do whatever and then people like you fucking old dumb bitch. Yeah. Yeah, like that's That's exactly the way that's what it's like I don't know who's supposed to lead and then our is is Joe supposed to be

heroic or like patriotic be like you know what I will become it's impossible no yeah it's all impossible there's no like World War two everyone pitch in and like let's maybe that's what we needed. A war? A world war. Great, go on. Because what happens is like, you remember when 9-11 happened, people were already on oh Bush is a fucking moron.

Yeah. And just your typical, whoever's in power, the other side just trashes, right? Yep. That's just the way things go. But when you have an event, a horrific event, like either a terrorist attack or a war, then everyone really does go, all right, we gotta stick together, right? And nothing like world, like when your nation is at war,

like, I don't know, man, I don't wanna say that World War III is a great idea, but you know, maybe it could help us out. You don't want to say bomb. You don't want to say bomb us. Don't you don't want to say that bomb. No, I don't want us. I don't need a bomb us. No, but they did but You're gonna see some Americans come together. Where would you suggest a Golden Gate Bridge? San Francisco's a mess already. Oh right Well, I wonder if they bombed San Francisco if America would be like, good.

So many people would. So many people would be like, fuck that place. Yeah. If they bombed Dallas or something they'd be mad. Yeah. Atlanta, Dallas, Phoenix. Can't do that. No don't do that.

Everybody would get on board. Certain cities though they would. Yeah certain cities, no. So it'd have to be an importance like a city where less gays Yeah, like what the most hetero city. Yeah, what's the most I think that Pittsburgh? Oh, there you go Pittsburgh Yeah, if they bomb Pittsburgh America would be like alright. We are coming together

Stop dare you yeah Yeah, so I don't really know where to go with, where America's supposed to go. It's funny that two clowns can't figure it out. Yeah, I expected more from, I mean, we're kind of, I don't know, maybe we're, I don't think we're supposed to, but we are, think about this shit. Yeah.

There's no answer. Everything feels worse than it was. Yeah, you know, it's funny. It's like things are bad and you go, man, things are really bad and they always get worse. Yeah, I mean, people have been talking about this divide for years now and you're like, yeah, it doesn't feel like it's healing.

No, social media made it worse. Yeah, a thousand percent. Significantly worse. Fox News and then social media. And I don't, are you on social media made it worse. Yeah, that was significantly worse Yeah, Fox News and then social media and I don't are you on social media at all? Yeah, but I have really Like I don't post on Three of the four that I have accounts on The only one that I actively because it's fucking pictures. Yeah, Instagram

Yeah, you know like that feels like the most oh I can digest this but I don't do Facebook. I don't do Twitter Yeah, I don't I don't manage Tick tock and like those things just go up without me. Yeah, me too. Yeah, it's too. It's too crazy. It is too crazy. Every time you open There was something kind of fun about it for a little bit. Yeah, just became so quickly. Twitter so weird to me. Yeah, it's too. It's too crazy. It is too crazy every time you open There was some kind of fun about it for a little bit Yeah, I just became so quickly Twitter's so weird to me. Yeah, I'm like who

Who's excited by this when people are like the the user ship is up and I'm like, yeah really people more people are doing this Yeah, I think that's a lie. I don't think that's true. Yeah I think the numbers they put out aren't true and then you see People who cheerlead for it. I'm like who's actually being like god. I love it here like they'll be yeah No, Nick. It's not this is a place to be and you're like, can I check in with Bert real quick? Yeah, let's see what he's doing. I want to hear if he has any thoughts Tell a story and I'll tell you what I hear and FSU is a pregame booze parking lot that sometimes holds classes. Uh, graduating from FSU is like graduating from a mid-level grade school. People that have an FSU diploma on their wall might as well have a placemat from Arby's up there instead. Who gives a shit? When is this gonna be about Burt?

It's not about Burt yet. This sucks. Make this about Burt. Why do I call myself Burt instead of calling myself Me? Because Me is Burt. Oh, this sucks. Oh God. Ooh, this sucks so badly. We got to get out of this. Okay. They just mentioned the city of Atlanta. Use that as a way to bring up your daughter, Georgia, make up a story where you're driving with Georgia and she says something funny that you clearly wrote. So you seem like a regular guy who loves his kids great

Your dad was wrong about you Burt. You're like Tony the tiger you're Great somebody's got a new clothes or Tommy is gonna be so jealous Wow, that was fucking so he sent you voice notes before you came on today or I took his audio. Wait a minute. You're trying to tell me. Let me get this straight. That's how good AI is? Yeah, all that. Wow. Yes. I did write it, but that's his audio.

Yeah. That's really great. Thank you so much. And we actually, that's fair because we had not spoken about him in minutes. No, he was so, he was gonna fire everybody. Right now he was listening, he was like, this is the fucking most boring episode ever. He loves this podcast.

And then right now he was like, all right, it just got good again. It just got good, yeah. And how's the rest of your life? It's pretty good. Great. I can't complain. Great. Yeah. I think I'm in a pretty good spot right now. I mean,

the tour is very manageable like I said. I love coming here. I got some other projects like we were talking about. And, yeah, that's stuff I always wanted to do. so it's really fun. Oh, here's a question. What do you want, what are you,

the thing you're doing, what are you trying to get from it? To me, the fun thing, like what I'm most excited about, is I've actually always loved, you know, like writing stories, telling shit. So I feel like they gave me a pass to be like, hey, well, you know how like in film school, you get to go like, all right, now you get to make a film? Yeah.

Like, I feel like they are like, okay, go make some. Great. Go make some. Great. Here's a budget, do whatever, they're like, do whatever you want. So, that part is like really exciting. Yeah.

Because I've been through the development process a number of times. And I mean, I don't have to tell you, but it's a very fun and exciting process. And you always kind of, and the thing that sucks is you go, oh, when you get to the finish line, you're like, I'm making something that I don't want to make, essentially, in a lot of ways. And this feels like the time where they're like, no, no. What do you want to make? And I go, I literally was like, this is what I want to make. And they said, go ahead.

So that's exciting. Yeah. Yeah. And do you, and it's literally, you just want to see it and put it out. That's it. And. Yeah, and do you and it's literally you just want to see it and put it out That's it and let people let people enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean is it like I'm gonna redefine what they it's none of that It's none of that. No, it really is this I mean, it's essentially how I used like I thought of this when I was doing Stand-up early on I got that whole thing in my head of like,

no, what you're doing is you're saying, this is what I find funny. Yeah. You get on my, this is what I find funny. And when they laugh, they're like, I get why you've, you know, I agree or I don't agree, right? They either laugh or they don't. And I feel like this project lets me go like,

this is what I this is what I want to make and People either gonna respond in a good or not I don't have the ambition of like hopefully it breaks all the records Yeah, you know like it's and the good thing about Netflix is like hard to even tell if it breaks records Yeah, none of that like it got a 17.9. What happens though is you do end up having conversations where if you talk to certain people They're like, yeah, that didn't do so well That is fun when they're yeah, when people when like the big

Exacts will let it slip. They'll let it slip sometimes also the surprise you get is sometimes you hear that about things you thought were Big and yeah, that's not big. You're like, oh, because you have no gauge for it. Yeah. It was like on my algorithm crushing. Yeah. They're like, that's not big. Or the thing that you think, I guess that didn't do well.

They're like, that's a monster. And you're like, okay, nothing makes sense. Let us know in the comments who you think didn't do good on Netflix. I have a few that could ruin my relationship there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Me as well. Yeah, I mean I'll tell you in a second.

Yeah. But yeah, yeah. Yeah man. What about you though? Cause now you're like, I don't, that's the thing I was saying, it's like I don't, I'm not, I love doing standup, I love being able to like travel around and talk.

I always thought that was the coolest thing. Yeah, it is. Even when I was making a TV show, half baked Chevelle show, I was always like, I did a movie, I directed a movie called The Goods, Piven, Will Ferrell, a bunch of people. And like the whole time I was like, not even like me, I should be doing that.

I just thought that's the coolest. Richard Pryor doing standup is better than his movies. Yeah. I guess Eddie's movies are better than standup. Better than his standup? Than his standup, yeah. It's close, but like 48 hours, training places come to America not a professor pretty good run somebody told me okay, I got to cut you off They told me we were talking about

We were asked by non comedians and there was a bunch of us at this lunch and one of them was a Comedy movie producer who has produced a lot of big comedies. And they're like, give me like top five, the non-comedies, like go to top five comedies. And I was like, well, in no particular order, I was like, well, I'd definitely put Coming to America in there as like a, and then the guy goes, oh, I put Blues Brothers ahead of that.

And I go, blues brothers is minstrel. I was like, no. He was like, yeah, I go, you put it ahead of it. He goes, yeah, definitely. Blues brothers is a good movie. Yeah. Blues brothers is like a good, it's fucking cool. And it's a cool, we're going to like, we got to help the nuns. It's like a fundraiser movie. Sure. And, uh, and like, but going around getting a blues, a blues band, they got good people, the show, the songs are good, the sequences are good. And it does like the big chase at the end is like,

there's a lot of good, cool ideas. I think the problem for me with that that I see in it now, isn't that, that I don't think that movie should be celebrated. It's more like you go you realize. Oh, what is the one that I? You know well that comes down to like when you're born exactly yes my point It's like so much that like the prior thing we will talk about prior. I always point out. I'm like yeah, but I Just I missed yeah generationally. It doesn't it didn't change so I don't disrespecting the pain change my life way more than Richard Pryor exactly my point I go that that When you're if you're at a certain age you're just gonna miss certain things. It's like the the goat argument for sports

Yeah, it's like yeah try to tell like someone our dad's age that like Wilt Chamberlain is not the best Yeah, they'll be like fuck off fuck off, you don't understand. It's like who you watched. And it doesn't take long for it to turn over either. No. Like, cause Brady's almost out now, it's like my homes. Yeah, yeah, people forget quickly, man. But yeah, so I don't really,

I just like doing stand-up, honestly. And the schedule of doing TV shows and that shit is hard. It's like very hard. You might have a reasonable time with it. I'm excited about that Just a 10-hour day. No, like or how I set up the show. Yeah, we get to shoot it in Austin Yeah, that's a huge deal. Huge. Yeah, and Yeah, it's not, I mean, I can shoot it in not that much time, you know? Yeah. It's going to look really shitty. Just so you guys know.

Well, we're doing the whole show in a week. Great. And a green screen? Yeah. Well here, right over here. I love it. Yeah. Um, yeah. So I, that I, and the other thing is like nothing nothing I do is gonna be as successful as that. That's your hell show. So it's like, ah. That kind of is a relief in a way, right? Yeah. I'm like, yeah, no, so I can do something, people will notice, okay, cool,

I didn't think you'd like it. So let me just walk around, do standup, and. You're loving, though, doing standup. Yeah, dude, it's the thing, we're, we just talk. I know. And people give you money for it. It's very crazy. Yeah, it's crazy.

It's crazy to get used to it. Yeah, and it's crazy to get used to it, and it's crazy, like you forget how rare it is, you forget how luck, I mean whatever, saying you're lucky is like overused at this point, but like really lucky. Like really, like you almost can't even talk about it. Right, because you're like what's gonna happen?

Yeah, like. Okay. That's true. So yeah, I just like doing Santa. So will you take, what is your thing now, like how do you do it when special comes out? You just like doing Santa. So will you take, what is your thing now? How do you do it when special comes out? You're like, okay.

I was trying to rush an hour, and then I realized there's no, this is not making me, I don't like this. I liked the, it was stressing me out, I was forcing it, and I was like, I'll just put tickets on sale when I have a new hour So now you'll just go back to spots, right? Yeah You're out just doing spots at the store figure out five minutes ten minutes. I got 20

Yeah, I have 20 now like good 20 But you know, so when I have another when I have an hour then I'll put it on sale and the it's like Jessel Nick does it that way where it's like no, I'll just wait until I have an hour, then I'll put it on sale. And the, it's like Jesslyn, it does it that way, where it's just like, no, I'll just wait until I have the hour. And then I'll assume that you'll know what's gonna be good. And then we'll go from there. It's pretty good system. Yeah, but it does take in a certain amount of faith

in the audience. Do you do the thing like, when I get to like 40, I'll book a couple of clubs. Yeah. And I'll book a couple of clubs. Yeah. And I'll do a few nights. I've done that in Asia, where I've had like 35, 40, and did like Tokyo.

The club in Tokyo, there used to be one in Singapore. I've done Bangkok, and it's great, because it can be shaggy, and they're so happy you're there. That's cool. Yeah, so I're so happy you're there. That's cool Yeah, so I'll probably do that and or like Hawaii just somewhere not Less whites yeah, yeah, so so yeah, just do it that way and then I Don't feel pressed in any way kind of. Which is cool. It's weirdly like being zero gravitational.

Yeah, because you get to work freely then if you don't feel like, oh man, I gotta do this. Yeah, and what did you do? You took, did you take time off? Or you were here, you did Joe's Club? I got off in May of last year. Came home, was like, okay, comes out in a month or so,

and then did exactly what we're talking about, spots, spots, do a club weekend here. I did probably like, over the few months, I did a few Friday sessions. Were you sitting on shit that you didn't put in the hour before that you were like, this could be a bit? Oh yeah, but only a couple. And then just started working that out.

And then went from the clubs to, did a couple small theaters, did a big one, did some international dates, and then went into the big, big rooms. But the time between the tour ending and like going to arenas was like 10 months. Yeah.

And did you and okay so the tour ending so not like the hour being when did you how about between filming and arenas? Oh so I filmed in November of the prior year and yeah and then the the arena started a year later I'm already 13 months when you got

Have you talked about getting heckled on the taping because I watched you put the clip up and I watched you I Literally, I couldn't well the similar thing happened to me on three mics really Almost worse. Yeah, telling a story at the end about my dad dying and all the shit and the next door to the theater is a club and Music starts thumping. Oh my god, and I'm like I'm gonna fucking kill someone Yeah, I can't fucking believe this is happening. And I just was like, you can't, there's nothing you can do. You can't, yeah.

I just had to act like it wasn't happening. I mean, I remember that I was, because I did it in the round, so you have that thing where you're kind of continuously, slowly moving. Yeah. And so I'm walking here and as I turn here, I'm still speaking but my brain goes,

I swear a guy was just waving at you. Right, like there's no way though. And so I keep doing, right, I'm doing the circle and when I come back the second time, he's like, and I'm just like, and I just, I go, are you waving? He's like, what's up, dude? And I go, like and I just I go are you waving he's like what's up, dude? And I go what's up? He's like fucking I

Go we're at a taping and he's like yeah, I go. This is when you thought to do this He goes it is what it is and then they threw them out and That's the funny thing is like after the show. I'm like what was up They go they did not understand why we were taking them out. And I was like, what? And he's like, they were like, what the fuck? And they're like, yeah, you're disrupting a taping.

Like there's, they're shooting this. If you guys are like- Because if they're not, could you have ignored it? I don't think so because it was, I mean, it might've been like the third time where they were still they were in the back row, but of the front part of this place and Yeah, I mean it was just it was too distracting. Yeah, I was just like I mean they were literally going Like until I said what's up, and they're like what up, bro? I'm like yeah, not much just this right now. Yeah, what the fuck man?

Yeah, and then they yeah the the crew was like Yeah, we walked them out and they were like, I don't get it. Why are we getting there? Cuz you're ready taping like you don't see how everyone's like just watching the show cuz we have to tape it and they're like I don't know. It's fucked up like Yeah, and you can't explain to them like now what it means and like it's very distracting Even if you get heck even if someone's making noise This is like trying to explain to somebody who you know when you land on a flight, and they're like yeah Yeah, we're here now, and you're just like Jesus Christ man like you don't know yeah that

There's a voice you use yeah, there's other people around. They would be like, what? No, no, no, we landed, yeah. So, and they start talking full volume. There's people who go like, oh yeah, you don't do that. And then there's people who are like, I don't know what you're talking about. So, those are those people. The people who just, it doesn't register to.

Yeah, and there's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do. You could explain it to them 10 times, and they would be like, I don't get it. Yeah, and those people are having great lives. Yeah, they are totally distracted by yeah They're not worried about anybody or they don't they just do shit Their way. Yeah, and it's way better than thinking and being considerate The best is when I I've been on flights where like you land and that exact thing happens the person starts a crazy loud conversation and you can just look over at somebody who's like

Yeah, that feels like we're the same I get it I wouldn't do this either yeah, yeah Yeah, but it's usually yeah, I don't want to I don't want to say what I'm just gonna say okay Yeah, but it's usually yeah, I don't want to I don't want to say what I'm just gonna say, okay Any other look at that look at that Pretty cool line that cool is cool. That's very cool. Thanks. Thanks so much. Yeah All right. Well, we should just tell everybody once again Crazy good is streaming now on Netflix. You can also watch blocks. Have you got any really good blocks lately?

Burr. Burr was good? Burr was great, yeah. I remember we talked about one of the things, I'll just pat my own back here, is you're like, oh, you came here to do, you actually did the show. Yes.

And you said some people show up and they don't wanna do the premise. The premise of the show was things that make you feel like something's wrong with you. And some people just don't. Some people just don't. But he was good? Yeah, he premise of the show was like things that make you feel like something's wrong with you and some people just don't some people Just don't yeah But he was good. Yeah, he was good. He didn't have specific things, but he's been more forthcoming Yeah about his what makes him feel like something's wrong with him. Yeah

Be a good one listen to yeah, it's great. Okay What do you got you got anything you want to promote? What do I have? I'm on tour right now. Great. There's a bunch of dates coming up great We're oh next next month May Ninth I'm at the forum in Los Angeles as part of the Netflix is a joke comedy festival. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm Good tickets all operations at Thompson combat such tour are you doing Netflix as a joke I'm not

just like I might do something but yeah I just had some out like when you're like I might do something and it'll be like you and Eddie Murphy no I'm not doing shit okay yeah yeah it's always fun to see you man yeah man and let's uh I want to talk to you about all the other stuff too. Get out of here. Audience. Send Burt your best wishes. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean.

Here's what we call, Two Bears, One Cave.