2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Crazy Ex-Girlfriends w/ Big Jay Oakerson | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 181

Episode Date: April 17, 2023

We are updating our channel memberships! You now get more content for the same low prices! Become a member today by clicking the join button above or going here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg/joinWelcome to another episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura and guest bear Big Jay Oakerson! Go check out his new comedy special “Dog Belly” on YouTube right now! Tom and Jay talk about the chaotic Ari Shaffir, the shameless Bert Kreischer, and the confident Kevin Hart. They trade stories about TSA encounters, Jay shares stories about coming up with Kevin Hart, getting broken up with and getting caught cheating. They talk about standup comedy, writing, New Faces in Montreal, and the worst intros comedians have brought them on stage with.https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/tourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com/

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A large part of his body weight is this dick. This is who you dated? And then they're like, yeah, and you're like, Wait, am I one of these guys this this is the level I'm at like I'm like I'd like dick would get anywhere substantially in her mouth Yeah, my belly button would just stop from blowing me deep Welcome to the program thankfully my co-host is undergoing triple bypass again. And in his place, very excited to have your comedian who I've enjoyed for so, so long, so funny and his special dog belly is available now

on YouTube. Please welcome big Jay Okerson, everybody. Nice to meet you. What's up, Ed? You congratulations. Oh, thank you, Ed. On the special, I'm very excited to watch it. Where did you shoot first of all?

We did it at our festival, Skankfest. Are you just Skankfest? In Vegas, yeah, yeah. And then Ari, Ari Shafirman, he jumped in there and like right down to setting up chairs. Oh, really? At the set the actual show, yeah. He was on top.

There's no bigger like, like, real supporter of comedy and comedians than R.E. I think. Oh, yeah. No, he dives in. Like, for somebody that has such an ugly side to him, both internally and externally, he also has this like, really warm, warmth to him about comedy and comedians. Oh, yeah. He also has this really warm, warmth to him about comedy and comedies. It's also a major set of people who take to RE2 for being childless as he is. My daughter's 20, but he could do no wrong.

There's a new smash piece on YouTube that was like, RE should fear the evilest man in comedy. My daughter washed and she was like, it seems like if you're not Bobby Lee, he's fine. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. Ari's also got a willingness to leave a grenade of humor and forget about it completely and walk away. That's what's interesting, because the Bobby Lee thing, what Bobby realized was like, oh my God, there's shit all over my car. And in the handles. So he's gotta figure something out to get into the car with the handles. And then forget the story,

I forgot if it was raining out, or whatever the situation was, he was like, well, I gotta get some of my windshield. And when he turned his windshield wipers on, he was like, are you packed the windshield wipers with shit off, so it just smeared shit across his windshield. So this is the part of it that, you know, you almost have to celebrate.

That's the, it's the evil scientists of it all, because most people, if they were going to go, I'm gonna put shit on someone's car, they would just be like, all right, like just put it in one place. It's like a pile of shit somewhere. Yeah, put shit on the hood of your car or something. They would just be like, all right, like just put it in one place. It's a pile of shit somewhere. Yeah, put shit on the hood of your car or something. And then you go like, oh my god,

and then you get it off. But Ari was like, hmm, so everyone's hand goes into the hand. Yeah, yeah. So I'll smear some shit in there. And then yeah, like. It's like we're gonna smock in a beret. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And then like if you put it on the windshield, like the windshield bivers is like, that could, it could not rain for a while And then should'll just be like stuck in there and then when you turn up but it happened to rain like that day. Yeah, it's pretty it's pretty ingenious One of his things is I'm always at my house one day and he asked if he could use my computer when I went outside to smoke a cigarette I was like sure

He's cuz he had some work to do or something. Yeah, absolutely. And then I go about my day. I remember dropping my daughter back off to her mom. And I get a call from my producer from Bodfire, or the serious Jacob, and he was panicking. And he goes, I'm trying to get a hold of you for hours. And I'm like, what is it, buddy?

And he goes, what's going on get hold of you for hours. I'm like, what is it, buddy? And he goes, what's going on? He was like Comedy Central Radio. You know, I got an email that was like, don't answer the phone if Comedy Central calls. It looks like we're getting fired. Like, I messed up big, hang in there. And I'm like, what?

I go, who sent that email? And he goes, you did. And then before I could even say what, it was almost like a dream that dream bubble appears. And I just saw R.E. Go, can I use your computer really quickly? And then I go, and then I called R.E. on three way to let him enjoy and I go, R.E. it hit. He's like, what? I go, you, the thing you sent to Jacob. And he's like, oh, yeah. He didn't even care about the rewards for it. That thing from a few months back, no,

the thing you did today. Yeah. Oh right, I forgot, I started chaos earlier. That is like the Joker, that is like total, I enjoy chaos. Yeah, pure chaos. Pure chaos, yeah. Which is great, but man.

What is that thing that they, you know, they, they'll do that chart sometimes, where it's like evil chaos, you know, like, they're evil chaotic or whatever, and then they'll do like, yeah, there it is, right? Lawful good, neutral good, chaotic good, lawful neutral, true neutral, chaotic neutral, lawful evil, neutral evil and chaotic evil,

and then sometimes they make this chart with like our, our comedian friends in them. Oh, really? Yeah. Which ones which? Yeah, like who's who? And then, yeah, they always, I feel like are he's always on the evil line?

He's certainly, he's one of the, he's certainly never in the middle. It's nothing's neutral. No. He's never on the good either. Yeah, how's your friendship with Ari? No one goes uneventful. Yeah, there's that.

Diaz is always on there somewhere too. And then Bert's probably always in the good. Yeah, yeah. I think he's a chaotic good, right? He wouldn't need to be chaotic. Chaotic good. For sure. He loves chaos, but he's a real genuinely sweet dude.

Oh, absolutely. I don't know how he does it sometimes. It's a very unusual personality where he's fun, fun, fun. And you expect, like, where's the, like, people who like that much fun. The darkness is somewhere. Yeah, and the darkness really isn't like, none.

Yeah, there's no real darkness there. Yeah, but to Bert, we were talking about, we were talking about how it must be so nice and liberating to have zero body shame. And then you also realize a big part that is delusional, he's actually delusional, right? Cause he even was saying he was like, he goes, I grew up in shape, so he goes, I think I'm in shape now.

He's like, you always sees that, let me see how the same way I say it. He's like, you know how people go, you're too hard on yourself, right? And they'll tell you, if you say something critical of yourself, whether it's about your standup, whatever yourself as a father or your body, they'll go, if you go like, I fucking suck, or I look like shit, they're like, would you talk to your body, right? They'll go, they'll give you go like,

I fucking suck or I look like shit. They're like, would you talk to your friend like that? Would you, someone you care about and you're like, no, I would speak to them differently. And they go, that's how you speak to yourself, right? That's always the thing is like, speak to yourself in a way that you would talk to somebody else who was shaming themselves.

And you're like, okay, okay. And then he is the, he's just like, I look great. I'm doing phenomenal. He's like, I'm Jack. One time, there was an article written about him, and I called him up, because I read the article, and I go, I go, I go, hurt. There's a quote in here from you, where it says,

and that the words, like it goes, Christchurch then says, I'm a fantastic comedian. I go, you actually sent that in an interview? He was like, I am. And I was like, yeah, but you let other people say that. You don't say, I'm a fantastic. I'm really good at this. I'm really good at this.

But that is like, that's really good. But he's also so sweet. It doesn't put like a target on his back. No, it doesn't. It doesn't. There's a lot of people that would be, you know. Oh, we know a bunch of people who you'd be like, fuck this cunt.

Yeah, for saying that. But it's almost like the chappelle, you know, like I'm bunch of people who you'd be like, fuck this cunt. Yeah, almost like the chappelle, you know, like, I'm the goat and you're like, you gotta let someone else say it. Like, you know, there's a strong argument that you are, but it's weird like when you say it. Yeah, it always weird when you compliment yourself, right? And then he walks in here and he goes, I'm fucking jacked. This is what Bert says about his body.

Yeah. And like, where? And he's like, look at my shoulders. I'm like, I'm fucking jacked. This is what Bert says about his body. And I'm like, where? And he's like, look at my shoulders. I'm like, so yoked. Yeah. I also think it's funny that he's got like a, a girl's calm wild, like, hairline trigger of pulling his,

like, showing his body. Yeah. When we went to the Super Bowl thing, they were like, hey, would you guys mind this like, quick little red carpet, like the guy Fieri, party or something? Yeah. And he's like, yeah, he's like Fieri, party or something. And he's like, he's birthday gay, he's like right here, right here.

And he's just goes like, what shit just shows his titties and then moves on. And they come like, it's, my nightmare is that a little of my shirt might be up and you see like a fat gut coming out of the bar. Sure, yeah. Well, like that's because the way you're supposed to feel about yourself, you're supposed to be like horrified.

Full of shame. And what you have. Yeah, I mean, like, and he will do that thing where he goes, do what I do. Right? So he'll be like, take your shirt and you're like, no, and he's like, why not? I'm like, because I don't want to. He's like, I have shame. He's like, oh, I don't, I don't feel any shame. I look great. I told some of that last thing of the thing, but starting with Kevin Hart and comedy. Yeah. When we would go around, this is so fascinating.

When we would go around like, like younger and do like shows or like, little college things or something. Yeah. You know, Kev's confidence, he'd have like, girls back at the hotel room. And I just remember the time he was like, he's like, dare me to, dare me to show my dick. So I was like, gotcha. Hey, Kev, you should, I dare you to show my dick. So I was like, gotcha. Hey, Kev, I dare you to show your dick and he's like, okay, and he just pulls out,

it's like a large part of his body weight is this dick. And then I get almost burnt like, I remember, I didn't ask him to do that for me. So he just dicks out and then these girls were like, oh wow, I'm gonna go see you. Hey, hey, he goes, Jay, I dare you to play here, to get a don't do that, dude. No, don't do that to me.

What's so funny about that story, when I told last night I didn't wanna, it wasn't the point of the story, so I moved past it a bit, but that night it was a real pretty girl. Three black girls, one very pretty. The other two were like, look like TSA, prison guards or something.

It was like, they had corn rows, but like, five, like two and then like one down, like it was not a good look. And then I remember, I think like seeing, I think, why is TSA, why is it like such a popular job in the black, I mean, I feel like every TSA, every TSA agent is a black lady who's like, Sir.

Yeah, and they have found out they found out how to like make that uniform. You can't wear that, we can't wear that belt through here. Am I okay? All right, sorry. Oh, I remember having one time they were swapping my Xbox for bomb materials. And she was like, she was talking to another TSA guy

with like dreadlocks. And she was like, man, she goes, my girlfriend said, I don't call me yet. She left to go suck some guys dick in the bathroom last night because but she's just a whore. And she's like, here you go, sir. But, he was bomb residue free. Welcome to America. Yeah. He's just a whore and she's like, here you go, sir. He was bomb residue free.

Welcome to America. Yeah. It's, but they have found a way to work that uniform though. You get that belt tight on those small ways. Oh, yeah. But they're just unpleasant. To your favorite. Yeah, they're so unpleasant. Yeah, yeah.

And while you're staring at their bodacious bodies, but, I filmed them one time. Really? Well, one time. Really? Well, one time I go through and I was fired up that day and somebody told me, I don't know, probably something they're supposed to tell me, but I was like, go fuck it. You know, I was just like not having it. And so I walk through, because it's very like, you know, it's not consistent, I feel like, right? There's not, there's not, that's the part that's like very upsetting sometimes is like, you

can't bring that backpack through, I go, I fly with this every week. I don't care if you fly with every week and I'm like, it's definitely okay to put this through and like, mm-hmm, I'm like, okay. So, you know, we're having our back and four, like, well, it's going through the machine, go, you check it out, right? And then I walk through and I see like six of them get in a huddle and just start conversing like about their day. Yeah. And I'm watching people like go through security. So I just pull out my phone.

I'm like, here's America's finest. You know, doing their best right now. Protecting protectors. Yeah. And I'm just like filming them. And I'm watching people like, you know, doing their best right now. Protecting protectors. Yeah, and I'm just like filming them. And I'm watching people like, you know, walk through, grab, I'm like, no one's getting checked here, right? And as I'm filming one of them goes,

sir, and I go, yeah, she goes, please don't film us. Okay, you can't thought I go, was it like I can't? I think I can. And she was like, and I just kind of did that for, I don't know, a few seconds and I was like, you're not going to take this phone, you know? And I'm not going to delete the video. So whatever. I turn it off.

And then I grab my shit and I go, you know, it was just like, it was my version of being like, hey, fuck you for being a, you know, the TSA. Get me fired. The people who eat all my airport shit now, because they're of all authority though you think they do yeah is the keep it moving when you're getting picked up Oh, right, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, I am so quick to be like fuck off. Yeah, go to someone like I can't when you're watching someone Put a suitcase in a trunk. Yeah, and you still like have that like come on let's go. You're like this isn't that thing. I can't move any faster than I move. And there's, you can't do any fat.

And then they'll say it like, yeah, like as you're walking to the door to get in, keep it moving. Like, well, I can't stay here. He goes, right, but this is how leaving the airport works every time. It's yeah, they're, they're, they're soup. I mean, I mean, I feel like it sways how excited they get for doing that.

Like sometimes they're really fired up. L.A.X. for a while was just fucking wild. Like you'd pull up and you'd pull up to, and someone's walking out and they're like, you gotta go. I'm like, this is the person I'm picking up right now. Like they just get so fired up about it. I have most of my life with police and stuff like that. I've always been like, something's illegal with me.

I have suspended license that I haven't paid or tickets or a warrant for dumb shit. Nothing like, you know, criminal, but like, just shit that I would get in trouble. So I always, so I mean, so many, and also cops have never treated me super nice. I think because of the way I look or whatever in tattoos. So since I was like a teenager, I just always kind of got that

that question from them. Yeah, and then, man, once I realized I had nothing like, it really is fun to mouth off to cops when they're really not as much as they can do. You know what I mean? I do look, I've really gotten, that's the most white thing about me is how I will talk to cops now.

I'm like, you guys fucking suck at your job. And they really can't do much more. Like, get out of here because there's no real reason I have to get out of here. But you fucking suck. Yeah, that feels good. It really does feel good because it's just like, I do respect the idea of police so much. Sure. And they are a necessity. Course, you have to have police.

And there has to be police out there who are really like, you know, they can't sleep because of the case they're on. But the day to day throw on like the blue uniform and like stand at the end of a block and New York waiting for cyclists to go through red lights. Yeah, get totals, like what what you call quotas for your tickets. Like it's so lame. Yeah it is lame. Because is this why you wanted to do this? Yeah.

It's awful. Yeah this is you really have nothing better to do like when people say that to cops. I like when the groups that's not what you're saying earlier about how fun it is watching black people watch magic. Yeah. Black people watching another person deal with police officers is also really good. Oh yeah it's a good one. Yeah one. They come to the aid of the person getting fucked with no matter what. It happened to me at the airport one time where I it's like speaking of privilege like I was behind a black dude and a TSA person was like, really like a fucking bitch to me

that I got in the wrong line. And she was like straight up. I thought she was, I mean, she was clear she was trying to embarrass me in front of people. She was like, does this say, are you in first class? And I go, I just upgrade it, because I went to a desk and they go,

do you want an upgrade? And I said, I just upgrade it. Because I went to a desk and they go, do you want an upgrade? And I said, yes, and I paid for the upgrade. She's like, this doesn't say first class, can you not read your ticket? I was like, one of those things. And I was like, can you not read your ticket?

It's pretty cool. I was like, I'm just sending out of the gates. And as soon as she said that, I've just like, my heart rate just spiked. And I was like, okay. And then she let me go through. And the guy had heard how she spoke to me, the black dude.

And now we're putting our stuff, because she was the one who checks it like at the first line and then you go to the machines, right? Sure. And I put it on the machine and I'm just like, the fucking cunt. And he was like, yeah, he was like, he was like,

just, you know, that wasn't cool, but like, just, you know was like, yeah, just, he was like, he was like, just, you know, that wasn't cool, but like, just, you know, like, before, yeah. Yeah, you know, like, you know, you're almost through here. I got, no, fuck that bitch. He's like, you don't wanna do that. And I go watch this. And then I go, are you the supervisor?

And he was like, he's on the ground. He was like, you're gonna, like, he was looking at me like, you're gonna get in trouble. And I was like, no I'm not. And I go, hey, that fucking pig over there, can't talk to him and the lady goes, excuse me. And then I just made it loud. And I was extra grotesque and disrespectful

in the way that I spoke. I go, if you put a pig in the front of the line to check people that talks to people, and I did this whole thing, and this guy was like, you know, like, I can't believe you're speaking like this, and I was just like venting about the way that she did. And then I explained to the lady, the supervisor was like, she shouldn't,

she shouldn't have spoken to you like that, but you don't need to call her a pig. And I was like, I go, well, she doesn't need to act like a pig, does she? And so, and then he just looked back at me. Like, he was like, see you later, man. Like, you're on your own. Yeah, he goes, I can't argue with TSA and why do you on the moon?

I back to Kevin Hart's tick. But that had been funny though. A few also, that was the bonding moment between you at TSA. But she was, can you not read your ticket? And you go, can you not read my ticket? And she goes, you go, hey, it's hard to work together. It's three together. I'm sorry. Yeah, Kevin Hart's dick to monster. Yeah.

And then, uh, so the three girls, that's where we were at. Three girls are in there, you know, and ended up working out for him with the one. So he goes, this is these are days of sharing hotel room. Yeah. Wasn't even a question. So it's a really, but let's like, it's a huge dick. His dick is enormous. And he goes in the bathroom days of sharing hotel room. Yeah. Wasn't even a question. So it's a huge dick. His dick is enormous. And he goes in the bathroom with one of the girls. And then this, it was making the other two horny for sure

hearing them because it was the noises of, I thought maybe murder, but it was, I just never heard those noises before. I've never hit that spot that makes those noises, I guess. But this girl was just getting power railed. And I was to tell you how long ago it was, the Matrix had just come on HBO. It was running and I'd salt in the feeders.

I remember being annoyed by the Matrix movie. Not that I enjoyed the movie, but I was so annoyed that every person who like, all of a sudden, that there were a philosopher was like, make you think, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, really, like, maybe that's what we're in. It goes, I don't think so.

But man, those girls were like, what do you want to do? You're like, oh, oh, God. And like, what do you want to do? And I was like, have you seen this yet? It makes you think. I'm like, could we, is this even, maybe this isn't even all,

maybe they're not even fucking in there. It's just two robots smashing into each other. Holy shit. How, you guys link up, you and Kev just by doing local spots? How when we first became friends? Yeah, yeah, I started. It was weird, it was such a cool like group of three to become like friendly.

It was, I started that week after I started, it was weird. It's such a cool like a group of three to become like friendly. It was, I started the week after I started, my first open mic, I met Matt Skurk, Kurt Matt Skurk. Yeah. And then like two weeks after that, Kev started, yeah. And you guys would just drive around and do, yeah. But I mean, what like, it's so amazing when you see that thing in somebody though. He's very like, I'm so impressed with Kevin, what he did.

When we were like brand new, said to person, that's a bird probably has a similar thing in that regard. In that like when we started, I remember we had to pick him up to go play basketball and we're this is like when we're doing, if not at most 15 minute spots, maybe on some black shows or something, but like, you know, nothing, we got 15 minutes and I'm picking them up and he's like, Hey, before we go to the rec center, he'd take me to the post office real quick. And he gets a Manila envelopes with a VHS tape in it and a shitty head shot. That's not really even a head shot with a fake, not a rep, but a, you know, a two line

resume or something. Yeah. I'm sending off to this person to college promoter and this person and it's just things where I was like, and I was like every level up I had in comedy at all, I mean from like going from like hosting to featuring the head was someone else telling me, it was like time to do that. Yeah.

It was never like, why am I not a headline? When they were like, you know, I want you to open for any of these people because why don't you just like come in and headline, you're like 45 minutes alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's gonna come watch that? Like I've never, so it's very interesting thing to watch that.

Like, I do remember meeting Kevin early on a couple of times where I was like, man, this guy's charisma is wild. Because when he, one of the first times I met him, I remember him going like, like, hey, Kevin, Tom's here, he goes, oh man. And he, the way he looked at like, I go, hey, Kev, I'm Tom's friend, he goes, oh man, and the way he looked at me, he goes, yeah man, a lot of people saying like a lot of great things about you,

and nobody was, right? That's the one he met me. And but like, he made me go, in my head I go, I wanted to say, hey you're lying, like, you know what? But also I was like, he did the thing, he did it in a way that like a politician, where you go, that feels good to get that person's attention. Sure.

And he just locked in and made you feel like in that moment that you're the only person that matters. And I was like, oh, that's like a movie star quality. Yeah. That's like a star quality. No, it is. I had to get, it took years for me to just kind of get to a point where I was just like, at that point, I'm like, go get it, dude.

Like, kill it. Like, none of these things were things I was looking to do yeah, and you know I mean I don't want to Go I remember we were young and it's like You know what's up? He goes I got to go to Bulgaria to shoot a movie for two months and you're like yeah, okay Yeah, that seems like a weird world like I also don't want to do that right so it's like but yeah He uh, I mean save my ass many times because again, like, as far as like the shadow cast, like, when me Kurt Metzger and him went to New York and Keith Robinson kind of brought us up there. It was fun. Like, I mean, how fast they

were like, look at you, little guy and non threatening and, uh, funny and charismatic. Like, get in here. And then they almost like put a hand on me and coach chest. Like, we've got a zillion of you. Yeah. So yeah, it's like just you'll be on a two o'clock in the morning. But get in here you. Yeah, yeah. It's actually is a great video.

My the George Eau took years ago. It's Patrice's. I think it's Patrice's roast. Maybe a Barry Katz roast, but the Boston Comedy Club in New York. And we are young, young in comedy. And it's a Patrice rich boss is like still smoking cigarettes and everything Jim Florentine's out there. And everyone's in a circle. And it's Kev in the middle of the circle, brand new comic. And Patrice and him are like John back and forth and Boston balls with Keith Robinson. And it's going back and he goes, uh, Patrice goes,

Kev, uh, things he's so in, like he's got so much common things. He's so in that he thought he can endorse. And he just points to me in the very background. It's me and Kurt Metzger, just boyish face. He goes, and he goes, that's why things get indoor, indoors J and, uh, Quentin Tarantino face over his post-messor. That's also times when they would insult us and we would just be in the backly. They know we are. Yeah, yeah. It's so cool. It's so cool. But he was like right in the mix, man. I never like, God bless them. That's interesting. Very cool thing to watch.

Yeah. It just has that like just move forward thing just move forward because also the things that happened to him like Like the fail the successes obviously are unbelievable, but like you had to get through some weird like failures that would have crushed me especially because I would have thought like I got pushed too forward. Yeah, and now it's like I'm exposed. Yeah, like I can't carry a thing because he had like I remember when we were still talking like relatively often is when he got that, he did a sitcom. It was like a reverse, fresh Prince of Bel Air. It was like a rich kid moving back with his like poor family in Philly.

Six episodes gone. I don't even remember him like lamenting it in any kind of way. He's like, I got a little bit part in this movie and they're giving me a little thing in a 40 year old Virgin and I just like, and it just kept kind of way. He's like, no, I got a little bit part in this movie and they're giving me a little thing in a 40 year old version. And it just kept going for him. He never like, stuff. Most people would be like, I'm done. I would be like, wow, I just had that moment. And that happens to the people. I mean, there's like so many comics that I don't

think you're even working today who at one point had a sitcom that was just their last name. I feel, yeah, you know, I mean, they had like a some run of a sitcom that was their name. Wow, I never even, I don't know. And they get a big house. I, um, I remember, I feel like I saw a clip of, I don't know if you guys were, I think you guys were on a show, radio show together in the, like, in the more recent, like let's say in the last five years or something.

Me, Kev. Yeah. Does that make sense? What was it? Well, or maybe it was them telling Kev about you saying this, that you had said, I would bet that there's no way Kevon knows what pyrotechnics means. Oh, yeah. And he goes, that's true.

That's true. I don't know. Yeah. Because they're like, you have pyrotechnics on your arena shows. Yeah. And then I get so annoyed with that. I know, because he really like, he's like, I don't know. Yeah.

So I remember that those, when they would, him and Keith would like turn on me in the car just to keep us all awake to drive back to Philly. We were going from Philly to New York, to Philly every night. And they would just start like a, and they would just catch me. They would just get me. They just knew how to like, rye on me up. Yeah. And I remember the one thing was like, the word was misogynist and I was like It's two black eyes in the front of the car all the back like you don't even know that means kev misogynist and he's like Yeah, I do I'm like what does it mean he goes it means you're a bitch Everyone starts to land and other black people start laughing throwing their arms up and you're like

Then it makes fun of you for like, oh, I know words, who gives a shit? You're like, how am I the asshole here? I'm Jay, I know words. He got me though, he was a good friend and one thing when I was a, I had a long term girlfriend when I, we meet him first met. And she like dumped me hard.

She started like fucking somebody else. Yeah. And Kevin was like watching that. And however, it's such an embarrassing moment of like we're driving to New York in my shitty car. One point. And she calls up. And she was like, uh, it was like the fifth time that she was doing like the, I think I made a mistake. Can we hang out tomorrow and maybe talk or anything she said, I was just like, whatever, whatever we'll get you. But by the way, it's such a one of those funny moments that I think I made a mistake. Can we hang out tomorrow and maybe talk or anything she said I was just like, whatever. Whatever we'll get you. By the way, it was such a one of those funny moments that I think we all have. I used to talk constantly about breaking up with her.

Because I'm like, yeah, she's kind of dumb. And like I think it was just like my local girlfriend that I've had forever. I'm kind of experiencing life a little more now. We got to break up and then she was like, I'm fucking somebody else. I was like, oh, please, never leave me. Yeah.

And I remember, Caleb was kind of new. I was going through that. Actually, the first thing that was funny was the way I found out she was fucking somebody else. Yeah. Was we went home, we came out from New York and went to Keith's house. We just hope we were going to play video games for a bit, middle of the night.

And I was like, oh, what I had for her was voicemails, like a beeper basically with a voicemail. And I could, we can call and leave each other messages, like at a late night. She lived with her folks, I'll be able to like 19. She lived with her folks, so that's the way she'd get messages to each other. Yeah. So I left the message being like, hey, I'm actually not gonna be around in the morning, I'm gonna hang in at a key, I'm actually not going to be around in the morning. I'm going to hang in a case. I'm going to sleep in there. And then we decided not to play video games. So I called back to just erase the message. Yeah. And it was like, you have two

messages. And I was like, the first one plays, and it was just some guy being like, Yo, I had a great time. And I, we got to do that again soon. And, but I mean, it couldn't be more overtly like they probably fucked or it very least like, you know, hung out and did something. Yeah. And, but I mean, it couldn't be more overtly like they probably fucked or it very least, like, you know, hung out and did something. Yeah. And it was that you sit up awake all night waiting to get a hold of her. Oh, no. And when she answered the phone, like, it was, she gave the worst excuse, but you just want

to believe it. Yeah. She was like, um, that's the guy who's like getting your PlayStation 2 for Christmas for me for you. So real nice. And I was like, oh shit. You want that to be the reason? For sure.

Yeah. I remember getting in the car that night with Keith and Kev and being like, they're like, so what happened with it? You know, I'm with them when they got, I saw her the email or the voice mail. And they go, so what happened? And I was like, ah, guys, great news. It's not like we thought it was. She's not fucking this guy.

Hearing me say that loud to them, I go, here's what it was. Like, that guy's actually works as a store. He's the plug for electronic equipment. No, you can't get a PlayStation 2. This guy's making sure. And they had a great time setting up that deal. Yeah. The guy could have been more like, mm, I can still taste you on my mouth. And you're like, oh, that guy seems pretty alright.

That's cool. Like, was that the price you had to pay to get my PlayStation to? What's funny about that is that was all like, you know, and then it turns out it was fucking the guy and it started breaks up. One of them when she came over, people loved this when I, it was, did they clown you by the way for that, or were they like empathetic?

Oh, when I'm back, oh yes, I was like, guys, guess what, you know, not empathetic at all. In fact, it's an interesting school of thought that I've always, even in hindsight, go back and back. I think they did the exact right thing. So, when I was young, who gives a shit such a young relationship Gonna go nowhere here, but one giving me shit for believing that at all. Yeah, they fun it but also like When we back she broke up and I was you know doing like the moap and the gloom and doom and go home at night and look at a picture of her

Welles and yeah, we get in the car and they were like get over it man He goes he's got your head shot on her back while he's bending her over a couch and like Oh God, but we're being so funny about the like I guess it is kind of done. I'll snap you back to reality, but I'm She You know she kept kind of wavering back and forth and every day she would come over like I'd be like yeah come over It's one of them she would come over. I'd be like, yeah, come over again. So one of them was Christmas Eve. I guess she, I don't know if she wanted like a present for me or what it,

well, I don't know what it was, but she called me to be like, I made a huge mistake. Let's, how much time has passed? It's about to come over. So I'm probably over the course like a month. Okay. This is happening. And we, she goes, I'm gonna come over.

I wanna give you your Christmas presents. And I thought we were broken up. Yeah. So I didn't have anything. I was like, oh shit. I'm like, this chick got me a PlayStation too. I was like, shit, I'm gonna get it. But she got it.

She got me a PlayStation too. I gotta go get a gift and I'm broke. And I go to a jewelry store and spend like 70 bucks on some kind of a ring. Okay. You know, but it's everything I have. Yeah. And I remember she comes over and I was like,

let me give you a gift first. And I give her this ring. You know, it's not an engagement ring of any kind. It wasn't even, didn't even look like that, but it was just lowering. Yeah, a ring. And I was like, I got you this and she's crying. I'm like, oh my God, this is amazing and everything.

She also came in the house empty handed. So I'm like, oh, maybe she has a stuff in her car or something. And we're sitting in my, my mom's living room, just me and her. No one's home and she goes, all right, you ready for your presence? And I was like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, she goes close your eyes.

And I go, okay, and I close my eyes. And I guess in her pockets, she had its three pretty small boxes. I'm like, okay, and I opened the one. It was the three things where I didn't smoke weed at this point in my life either. So this didn't make any sense to me. It was incensed with an incensed holder. These are like all impulse purchases. You can see she made. These are like all impulse purchases you see she made. She worked at Kmart in the Cologne section. She got me from the dollar stores version. It says that's like dollar generals version of Tommy Hill figure sport or something.

Cool. Yeah, like, okay. And she works this. It's free, right? It's free to know. She worked at a place that real Cologne. Oh, and she works this it was free right it's free to know she worked at a place that real Clown and she went to the she went to the dollar store. It's already got me a dollar version. She could have stole one for free of a nice one so I got this thing alone Incense clone and the incense holder and I was kind of just confused by them like okay, and she goes now

Are you ready for your real present? And I was like, oh, yes, I think I did this. Yeah. She goes close your eyes again. And then when she says, open them, it's again, I'm like, man, I'm gonna close my eyes for a while while you go get this PlayStation too. She, again, then 10 seconds goes like, open your eyes. And I open them. And she has a nod of cash and She goes I wasn't able to get the PlayStation 2 and she slices off 320s and goes get yourself a PlayStation 1 game, though slides me the cash By two hours later. She'd already called back and been like I'm sorry. I'm actually leaving you like it was it was insane

But I was saying that kev one time When we were driving and she called and did one of those things like I think we should get back together and then kev is so humiliating kev grabbed the phone and he's like Cheryl Stop fucking with my boy, man like you're killing him like it's driving him nuts Like you're good back and forth like either you're getting back with him or leave or or don't call him anymore And I'm gonna back when I'm going like, don't, don't, don't listen, I'm not saying that.

I'm not saying that. I'm never gonna put the phone there and give me like a little baby like him and the face like the fuck is wrong with you, man. Maybe it was such a realing friend move, I was like, yeah, what the hell am I doing? That is everybody needs. I'm like, please don't say that, don't say that to her.

Yeah, of course, you don't want that to go, but that is friend, that's a good friend. That was very good friend, because yeah, some people would just be like, man, don't say that to her. Yeah, of course, you don't want that to go, but that is a good friend. That was a very good friend, because some people would just be like, man, you know, hang in there the whole time the whole way. Have you thought about writing a song? Like, you've made it, vice. And you can, you can lean in yourself more.

You could play it, like you could sing the song from the street up to her window. You got a boot box you could hold over your head for awhile. You got to throw a rock and you just smashed the window. Just like, what the fuck? And you're like, share a... I love like forced dramatic moments too. Like I kind of knew where the guy she left me for, like, sorted

out where he lived, like the neighborhood. Yeah. And when I would come back from New York at night and drop everybody else off, I would like drive to the neighborhood and be like, I don't even know what what was waiting for it was like the the taxi driver I'm looking for her silhouette to like start going down on a huge cock shadow I'm like what am I looking for you if I found them like do you ever do you know who you ever find out who it was or you know Who was she married the guy ultimately okay? Yeah, yeah, so you know what he looks like. I would have. No, I would have.

I always think like it's funny, whatever, like you're dating someone or like talking to your, and then mentions an ex and you have the conversations and you're like, okay, okay. And then, you know, you're fine with it, but then you see a photo. And I feel like the, your fear register is like, that the person is always going to be better.

Oh, yeah. Oh man, this person's going to be better. But they ever see someone you're like, this is the guy? When you're like, this is who you dated? And then they're like, yeah, and you're like, God. This is fucking embarrassing for you, right? I know. And then you're also like, wait, am I one of these guys?

Am I this? Am I this? That's what you start to know. You're like, this is the level I'm at, because I'm with you. It's one of the funniest things that we ever had. Me and my girlfriend now, Christina have been together for a long time, like 11 years now. And we first started dating.

It's also people I think have a different impression. If they only know me from like stage, maybe, this is before broadcasting and stuff, I think they thought my personality was a lot different, maybe wilder than it actually is. Well, that's the drugs guy. Or the sweet guy. And so I remember we were sitting on a soup

in New York somewhere. It's kind of, it's very early. It's that you're touching shoulders. Everything's still smiley and adorable. And I was like, I gotta ask, have you ever hooked up with any other comics? You've been around comedy for a year. She worked at Comedy Magic Club in LA,

or her most, and then she managed clubs all over New York. And I was like, have you ever hooked up with any other comics? And she was just like, oh yeah, she goes, this is gonna make you laugh. And like she says to purse, the name doesn't mean it's because he's not really around much anymore, but like he was just like a short little guy, kind of weird looking sweetheart.

Yeah. Nothing negative about him, but just like the look. And she was just like, isn't that funny? And I was like, huh, it was a thing for the next three years of all. Of course. Like it couldn't get past it for so long.

Of course, which is like, that's the thing, right? Is that the, I have this conversation people like, do you ask? Like, because I think the older people get more mature they go like, just, they learn not to do that. Like, you know what I mean? Like when you're like 21, you're like,

who have you been with? Yeah. And then, and it matters. And it matters so much to you. Oh, these names. But like all my friends that like date now that are like older, late 30s, 40s, they go like, oh yeah, they go like,

I figured out not to ask anything. Oh yeah. It's just gonna, they're like, I can't control it, it's just gonna upset me. Also as time goes on how short life is, you really get like, I remember when I was younger, if they were like, you didn't porn star, like,

I would never be able to deal with the jealousy. I'm like, can I date a retired porn? So like, I remember when I was younger, if they were like, you dated porn star, like I would never be able to deal with the jealousy. I'm like, can I date a retired porn star? Like, probably, who cares? Like, do you know what I mean? Yeah, of course. Like, I, with this, I'm gonna get, well everyone's seen her fuck. Like, sure.

So what? I've seen Jennifer Lawrence with a load on her face. Also, go see her in a big budget movie. Like, the world's changed. Have you seen her with a load on her face? Oh yeah, and that, that leak thing. Like, the world's changed. Have you seen her with a load on her face? Oh yeah, and that leak thing was that. That was the head on her? Yeah, it's like her with a big old gob on her face.

Really? Yeah. That's pretty wild. So that was in her eye cloud, right? Yeah, yeah, the fapening. The fapening. The fun thing about that fap happening was it was so many celebrities. Yeah.

In that, that like a lot of them weren't famous yet. So much, you know what I mean? So now it's like just the most fun thing when you go, new starlet, so there it is. They're like, new stuff. Good for her. Do you know, I shut mouth closed. Yeah.

You can't teach that. That's Yeah. You can't teach that. That's a good one. You can't teach that's instincts, right? That is. You got to really, you got to really want, and that's full, it's posed too. It's like, let me get in better light. You know, like she was like, let me back up.

I want to make sure I can see this clearly. It might be my own insecurity too. I have friends that do, I have friends that like, film so much off their fucking and sexual things. And I'm just like, I couldn't even imagine, like if I was like single and random fucking all the time, like pulling out a phone. I was a friend that had like pulled out phones and they go,

yeah, then she was like, can you not do that? And I'm like, what the? I go, that would make my weeners shrivel up. I apologize for a half hour. That was a percent. And I'd like leave awkwardly. I'm so sorry. I never, I've never considered recording.

I'd be mortified to record myself. I just don't want to see the, I can't believe it's happening already. I definitely don't want to see what it looks like. No, because here's the thing. I imagine like, oh, it's probably not great. And then I'd see it, I'd be like, oh, this is way worse than I thought.

Like, this isn't good. Oh, I'm actually the girl that was saying the breakup story with when Sony Handy came and became a thing, and so I, we got one because I wanted to film my comedy sets, but of course, right away, she was a, my girl, she was like the second girl I think I had sex with at that point, but of course right away, she was a, she was like the second girl I think I had sex with at that point, the third, but it was just me, and like we were kind of learning everything sort of

together. And so we filmed a lot of stuff and man, the go back on those videos was so, I mean, they're gone now because they're child pornography, I believe, but it wasn't when I was 17 also. But those videos, man, I mean, they're going now because they're child pornography, I believe. Yeah. It wasn't when I was 17 also. Yeah. Yeah. But those videos, man, I just remember watching them back and there was one where at my

mom's house. So the decor? We would not even that. Just the whole scenario was, or family didn't like me. They lived, they were like trailer people. They lived in a double wide trailer, than a dirt road in South Jersey. And then I would go at like two in the morning or something, one of the morning, she'd sneak out of her house.

I would go, God bless her being like this country, woodsy kind of girl, because I was very city and I would have never done this for her. Yeah. But she would go walk through a quarter mile of pitch black woods and just emerge from this cul-de-sac where I would like blink my headlights and she would get my car and would go back to my house quietly go in there and fuck. And then we filmed it a couple times and just like, what I was doing, trying to direct someone while they're just trying the fuck and

they're pretty new at fucking also. So whispering to not the way anybody and frustrated things like there were so many videos of like, I wish we were of age so you can get him on. I can feel your teeth. No, not even that would be like me going, I'm like, you can we go like, and you see you're just like, take your mouth off. I think I'm a bit. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And he's here to just like take her mouth out.

I'm like, I think I'm gonna be, what? See me? See me? It's not. It's just such a young idiot. Like, doing that, like, it's not like, like, yeah.

And go back to it. And go back to it. Like, God, but when I, I said, it's not a hot, I think the last video I ever took of it, and maybe like three times I filmed stuff at all, but the last one was the crusher was, I was like, I'm gonna film her, like blowing, and I always thought like she was like not great.

I didn't know what a great blow job was, but I was like, this is pretty cool. I bet there's better, but like, you know, we're young. She doesn't know what she's doing yet. And I just was like, she'll figure it out. And I'm filming her from like the top, blowing me. And then I found that why she was not good at blow jobs, and I'm filming her from like the top blowing me. And then I found that why she was not good at blow jobs because then I took the angle that I never saw.

I filmed like side view of her blow, which I've never seen like that, you know, and man, when I watched that video, I erased it immediately because I was like, I'll never use this to jerk off her Her head, like when my dick would get anywhere substantially in her mouth, my fucking gut, like my belly button would just, she was getting stopped from blowing me deep.

It was a huge thing. So you were the reason I was the problem. I would get deeper, but I can't get to it. Was you have to get, that's when I learned about side blow jobs, turn your body this way. You can get in there. It was so funny. It's a forceable, she would go to fast too, really knock her head back. It was so ridiculous looking. But I've never, as an adult adult, I've never thought about filming myself.

Now, you're right. And there's, yeah, people, like having that on their phones too, it's crazy. Yeah, there's not tons of my dick pics out there in the world, and it all was just like, and if I had an awesome dick pic, I'd send it all the time. That's the thing is, I mean, I missed the era of that. Like I just, you know, I totally missed the,

like, but it blows me away now. And I think maybe it goes back to what we were talking about, like, body shame and stuff. I was like, I would never want the, I would feel like it's a threat, this threat to have like dick picks floating around. I just always was like, you would probably want to keep that to yourself, I don't know.

Patrice, when he died, I'm not sure if his, I think it may have still been his screen saver, but they, I had a thing with the girl, very few dirty things of this girl. I was dating for a bad, bad situation. I was seeing her behind my ex's back and she went on to gig with me one time on the road. And I just liked, this is fat insecurity again. I liked this girl solely, but she had so many issues but she was pretty she was really thin really really thin and I was just like because I'm used to just like the only girls who were ever like making it seem readily available to me were like larger than me. Yeah. And stuff so I couldn't believe and I was like super into this girl and I remember wanting the beach, Patrice ruined her

for me completely because I was so, I remember she took a picture once, when this gig, she came out of the shower and like, let me take a picture of her like opening up her. So the pose is she's like opening up her towel, showing her body off. Rail thin, very small boot, you know, like, and I was showing Patrice, I wanted his nod of like,

okay, he goes, man, that bitch looks like Buffalo Bill from the songs of the lamp. She's even like, you know what I'm saying? He's been as, yeah, yeah. I never unsolved that again, but I got caught like in that cheating thing. Bad bad real real bad. And so what it is, I got caught with this thing and I had to leave.

Yeah, I caught with the photo. No, no, I got caught with, I got caught just cheating on my ex with her. Like, my daughter was so young, it was such a bad situation. All my fault admittedly, but like she, I was just like living two lives basically. Yeah, like my nighttime life and my daytime life And she uh, I got caught. Yeah, the way I caught we argued Mean she saw one of the sidegirls saw one night that my her number was not her name in my phone Oh, and I gave some horrible excuse why that was. I think it was under like, her name was Lauren

and it was Larry. Like I think I had it there as Larry. It's like, why is it Larry? I was like, because the first night we met, I didn't remember your name. I knew it was started with an L. She's like, you thought it was Larry? I'm like, I just put it as a placeholder.

Like, well, why haven't you changed it over these last several months? I'm like, okay. So I go, I'll put it as a placeholder, like, well, why haven't you changed it over these last several months? I'm like, okay. So I go, I'll change it now. And I changed it to her name with my last name. Almost just like, when I do that, if I was, I'm trying to lie to everybody, would I do that if I was a, does she know you're like,

she knows that I have a child, but I just, we're not together. Okay. Me and Maya, but we were. And so she goes, I put her name in there with my last name. And I used to, so ridiculous, that life, that life for the shoulders and the ears that I chose to live was so, bizarre to me. I used to turn my phone off and put it in my pillowcase at night, just to be like, if

I could also have then buried it under something until the morning, I would have done that also. But this night, whatever I didn't turn it off or whatever, I don't know if I just fell asleep because me and that girl were so arguing or something. In the morning, my ex, like my phone, she's like, why is his phone keep going off? And I'm still asleep. She looks at it, it says, that girl's name, my last name. She goes,

I've never heard of that person in his family or something like is that, I wonder if it's like an emergency or something. She answers it. And while I'm sleeping, three hours of them talking and exposing everything. While I'm asleep. Three hours.

Three hours. Yeah, it was awful. I woke up to that. So you wake up, you're like, oh, I made it hours. Yeah, it was awful. I woke up to that. So you wake up and you're like, oh, I need a coffee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get, no, I woke up actually. She was in law school my ex a time.

She threw a law book at my face. That's why I woke up like, ah, what happened? And she's like, you know, this, so that's a nightmare situation for sure. And then we go. so one that happens, the timing of that was I was getting ready to do that a Cape Town South Africa comedy festival.

I'm leaving for that like in a week after I get caught. My life's in shambles, so I'm almost like looking forward to getting at a dodge and going. And I leave me and my ex-wife or just even kind of like a, all right, like, let's put a pin in this. You know, I mean, I got to do this like we have a daughter. So we got to figure something out. You know, we're broke. So like we have to figure what we're going to do here. We ended up staying together after that weirdly enough. But when I went to Africa, it was three week gig, and I'm sitting, I told this actually

on Ari's storytelling show, but it's so real. About a week into being there, I'm like, this is before cell phones wherever you were too, so you check a voicemail, same thing, and I go, I check my voicemail from the hotel phone, it goes, you have 19 voicemails. Jesus.

Okay. And then the first one is a friend of mine, who's gay, my friend Wayne, and he goes, a, a, hey pal, I was just on Craigslist, men looking for men. And I saw an ad that is for you, it, a picture of you, and it has your, my minimal TV credits telling VH1s, talking head shows or whatever. And your phone number and it's you and it's, it goes, now, I don't know if this is something that you went out there in the world and you don't want people to know about, but like, I'm going to assume

you don't, so I'm going to get it flagged. And the next nine or the next, whatever, 18 messages were guys trying to fuck me. And which was flattering, more than I thought I was going to be. Although I didn't see what they looked like. So the ex set this up, right? So the side girl, what happened was, but the picture of what it was, was that day that I took the picture of her Buffalo bill. She was like, that's not fair. I got to take a picture of you. And I don't know what zone I was in this day. Because again, I was still very insecure that I thought this girl

didn't realize I was fat yet. You know, I mean, like somehow. Yeah. And I took a picture in a doorway fat guy move to doorway picture. Yeah. Naked, arms up, so it stretches everything out. Little after shower weiner, and that's the picture, she posted. She took that to almost have like collateral, you know, for her naked picture. Right, right. And I was like, sure, why would this ever be a problem?

She put them in the thing, what I didn't know is that my gay friend Wayne his solutions I guess to get something flagged from Craig's list at the time you have to have a lot of people We X amount of people flag it So he just sent it to Patrice and Bobby Kelly and blah blah and everyone And when I went to When I went to Patrice's house for Thanksgiving that year with my child and my wife who I'm back with now, Patrice just, I see that walking the door, he goes,

AJ go over and like tap the mouse to the computer there. And I just didn't even think about what it was to tap it. And it's just his screensaver. It was just me at my dick out. And that's the day I found out. I was like, he sent it to everybody. That's how you find out. Yeah. He was like, oh yeah, well, he's like, well, what do you want me to do, buddy? He's I was like, he sent it to everybody. You found out? Yeah.

He was like, oh yeah, well, he's like, well, what do you want me to do, buddy? He's like, you have to get it flagged. I'm like, you have to show the other gay friends. Yeah, I got your gay friends. I'm like, don't fucking. It's over, everybody I know.

By the way, you only get horrible voicemails. Yeah, yeah. You should never listen to a voicemail. I don't. I don't listen to what my, how much my voicemails are clogged up. What, did you ever talk to the girl that did that again? Ever again? No.

No, I think I saw her in the background of a comedy club once. You did. You did walk in. Yeah, you know, Artifu Kwa, who's the host of the comedy seller all the time. He didn't know the extent of how bad that story went. Probably in a year after all that happened. When I was on stage at of like how bad that story went probably in a year after all that happened when I was on stage at the seller one time. Already Fuqua just see him like

fump freeing around in the hallway and he comes in with her and he's like, he's like, look dude, I was like, I'm like, can you get her out of it? And she was gone before I got off stage, but like, no, she was wild that side chick and the weirdest thing about it, Juilliard Floutist. Really? Like one of those reserved life. So pretty, that's a, I mean, you guys were obviously younger when this happened. But that is like, I mean, obviously she's enraged

to do that, you know? But it's particularly, I mean, it's a pretty cruel thing to do, you know, like I mean I as much as we like and make like it's pretty cruel to do it. Oh, no, it was horrible. Yeah, yeah But it came and went thank God. It's not the internet that it is today. Yeah, I would have been fine This point I would have owned it. I guess too. You'd have to you have to do yeah making your album cover Nothing else you could do. It's like only way's the only way to get that out there now? Yeah, and once the things come out, anything you own, that is the beauty of comedy particularly.

Anything you own becomes like, you know, it's like normalized it like Jim Norton's into trans, like no one's even anymore like, can you believe that? It's like, yeah, just think. It's a great lesson for I think other people, out because comedians kind of do it the best. Yeah, yeah. We lean into our flaws, anything fuck you.

If you fuck up, you can't deny it. You just gotta be like, yep. No, it's a virtue too. Everything that you hated about yourself, like now is great. I was scared at this moment. I got beat up. I lost this fight.

I lost this argument. It's much more, but I always think that's the simplest of like people relate to that. Like, death jam was so interesting to me because it was such a moment in time and it doesn't really exist anymore. Not even black circuits, still for sure. But that era of like mid 90s comedy started mimicking like hip hop in that it was bits, long bits about how good they eat pussy.

Yeah. How much they, you know, how long their dick strokes are. And like all, it was very crazy, a braggadocious comedy. Cause I'm like, it was, it was a real testament to that time because I'm like, I feel like no one really, everything. No, that's not.

Me and my girlfriend will hook up with girls from time to time. And anytime that's happened because it's We've told stories on things before. Yeah People I was like, oh, I'm gonna get into being one of your stories. I'm like not if it's awesome Like if it's awesome is no, but there's no point going on be like guess what yeah, no Had a three some last night. I was pretty great. Everyone was satisfied like no one's here that shit Like if we brought a girl back who ended up being a lunatic or wouldn't leave her.

That's the, I know. Those are stories you'd tell, yeah, we're like, fuck it. All the stories that like, anything that ends up in an act, in your act in any way, it's like, it's a failure or a fuck up. Here's how I fucked up. Because the masses relate to that much more than the winds.

100%. Do you know what I mean? Much more like stumbling in the shit. If you're talking about on stage, like how good you've got it and how things have always , things work out and how you're killing it, everyone's gonna be like, oh, okay. Yeah, it's a punch line of lasting. He goes, so then I kick both their asses. You guys have been amazing.

Good night. Yeah. No, yeah. That's when everybody learned you don't fuck with big jay oversit. Fuck you, good night. No, you did. That's what was weird about the Chris Rock ending of this thing is learned, you don't fuck with Big J. Overson. Fuck you, good night. No, you did. That's why it's always weird about the Chris Rock ending of this thing, as he said,

she was like, my mama told me, always be a pussy, clunk. I don't know if that's the way to handle that. I just feel like, yeah, I've even done bits before where I'm like, this is, what am I, what's not working here? Like trying to figure it out. And pivoted part of the,

like the story to be like the news or an, yeah, yeah. And then like all of a sudden it's way more endearing, you know? Yeah, I had a friend who like, he had a lot of like, very handsome guy. He had a lot of jokes about like, being handsome. And it wasn't, he wouldn't do always a funny guy, but like it wasn't connecting with audiences at all. Yeah. And then like one day he's a younger comic to me so it was like he

was looking for like advice to this degree which was such an easy when he started telling me about when he was younger these ticks and like you know a Turetsi type things he would have and he was a weirdo and like really strange kid and he looked kind of strange when he was younger you know, uh, Tourette'sy type things he would have and he was a weirdo and like, really strange kid and he looked kind of strange when he was younger, you know, and uh, when he was telling me, and he called his mom to prove that he would have to make these noises before he went to bed and he had to do it a certain amount of times because of the OCD. Well, and I was like, dude, if you just even lay that out in some way, you're at least giving them an excuse for why now, you're like, I can share for you really like a confident like whatever guides because way, you're at least giving them an excuse for why now.

You can share for literally a confident, like whatever guides, because you were this little weirdo and it changed this comedy, like, didn't that regard? Like, that, because of me, he's talented, but I mean, like, the angle of that I was like, dude. You're telling stories, like, I can tell a story about being like, grossed out by a feck girl, because the irony is, like, who am I to be grossed?

Like, the funny thing about that is, is like she's probably grossed out by you Yeah, yeah, but I made the choice first. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it in before she did so yeah like the No one really like very people relate to wins, but everyone relates to yeah I remember watching a girl one time pretty girl and she was like she made some joke about People being like what are you a model or something? And I like it felt, you know, it felt so flat and then I didn't know her. I just walked up to her. I was like, there's, you know, that's not working right? She was like, what? I go, it's because it's believable. Yeah, you're a model. Yeah, you're too pretty for those.

You're too pretty for that. Like, you could, you have to either change what you say there or drop that all together. It is funny that Wild Good looks, it's a hand we wanted the only businesses where it's like, I remember Dove David off saying about Judah Friedland there when he was kind of coming up and I was gonna get successful. Dove Deidre was just going like, sort of a bit sold as devil,

sort of the sort of the devil for that look, just like his look in general and I was like, yeah, it's like, it is like a wacky look in dude. It resonates. It resonates, yeah. People embrace that any flaw. Like, it's in comedy, like the older you get, uglier you get, the fatter you get,

the more, like all that stuff, it's a, that's an advantage in comedy. Yeah, your negatives are all your virtues in that because people can understand that, which is great. It really is. It's like, it's been a fun thing. And to, because when you're young, those are all your virtues and that because people can understand that which is great. It really is It's like it's been a fun thing and Because when you're young those are all exactly you want to like brag you want to get pussy and you want to do all The shit so it's great when you get older and go, I couldn't and I fucked up or I thought I was I thought I was a

Blue it. I thought it was this. I'm not I'm just like you guys I don't get laid like you Like you fucking losers. Yeah, poor fuck. Now, that's for you, buddy. Now, are you back to square one, right? Because we were just talking about this.

Yeah, yeah. The familiar feeling of your special comes out and you're like, I gotta do this all over again. And you're like, I don't even know how I came up with that stuff, that last stuff. And then like, when you get to the taping, you're like, oh, I did it, like I got here. Yeah.

And then you give it up and you're like, there's no way I'll do this again. Yeah. And then you realize that you will do it again, but that feeling of like, I don't think I can do this again, always comes back. At least for a little bit. For a little bit, yeah.

Until you're like, what's the, how do you even find that if this is funny? What do you, how do you start over? What do you, do you just, I just start going and doing like all like crowd, crowdsets, just crowd and just kind of, but always with like leading questions to like, like specific questions to purposefully get like. Is that thing you're thinking about? Not even knowing that I'm thinking about just like, jump off points to them like,

you know, the most rudimentary example is like, maybe like, I don't know, like have I ever like done a funny thing where I fucked someone in public and like, what, hey, why are you? And I'm like, hey, who here's like, what's the most public place you've ever fucked? You know what I mean?

Like you get, and it sparks up and you're like, oh, I guess I have done. Yeah, and you start thinking about that. Yeah, yeah. It was like I, someone said something the day about getting like roadhead or something like that. And it's throwing up, I was like, man, you know what's funny? I have gotten roadhead when I was younger.

Yeah. And heavier. And it's weird now older, slimmer, with a much bigger car. Yeah. I don't see a scenario where I can get my dick sucked while driving without her right ear honking the horn. I don't think it's a possible thing. And that came off someone just kind of said.

So it's not like the, you know, the whole flushed out thing, but the idea of that is like because I asked just like, where's the weirdest place? Where's the fuck? There's something. So like, that's so, yeah, if I, it's so deflating but anytime in my career I've done like, I've always envied where it's like, hey, you want to hang out and play a video game? Like, I'm gonna go get some right and done. I'm gonna do some writing.

I gotta do the notepad. I'm like, I'm envious of that because I'm like, when I've done that, forced like, okay, here we go. It's comedy writing time. It's, I mean, as simple as like, what is with these airplanes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The subways are weird.

And the people are weird too. Racism is out there, everyone. It's the most basic concept. Yeah. And I'm like, if I work on the fly, if somebody's not just... No, I think that, if I work on the fly, if some reason I just... No, I think that just, I mean, that's why I hate, I don't like giving advice

about how to do it. I just like doing things like this where you go, what do you do? And you just hear about it, because like, what works for you, might not work for the neck. I mean, I know people who go like, they really thrive on a laptop and a notepad,

and I sit down and I write. And I'm like, yeah, that's cool. And turn the fat and get this going. And yeah, I'm much better. The only time that I feel like that works, there's an advantage of that, is if I have something that I'm like, I wish this part of this were better.

If I sit down and I write that part of the thing that's already working, and then you can be like, what's the line here? I wish, you know, and then you write out the line, and you're like, there's a reason this isn't working, right? This is not strong enough. Then I can like write a line. Yeah.

But to sit down, like, here are some thoughts for the day. Yeah, I mean, like, you know, I feel like the United States is really dominating things in a way that's not fair to, I mean, what the fuck am I writing? I don't know what to write. It's funny, I could do what I do pretty good, and it was always a good friend of mine

I started with Kurt Matsukurim, your friends for so long, he's such a writer. I don't even know if he's like big on like writing the whole joke out, but like it's just, it's formatted in his head. Yeah. By the time he's going to say it, and I've always been impressed that like writers,

that's why I just did the Burt roast, and it was like difficult for me to do that because I have to write it myself because I don't, I'm insecure about my writing that I don't think I'm a good writer. Yeah. That if I do other people's jokes the whole way, I go, you're gonna hate having me on this thing.

I'm in a bibliography everybody. Like in that, you know, and that seems so weird on a roast. I did that on Lewis J. Gomez's roast that we did a Skank Fests a few years ago. It was, I wrote all my stuff in Josh Adam Myers and said the one line to me that like, verbatim what he said was really funny. And I was like, I'll keep that in there.

And I just remember sitting on the, it's so lame. It's almost like a tick, you know, like a nervous tick you can't get rid of. Yeah. Because I was like, you know, I said blah blah blah, then I did the Josh Adam Myers tag. Yeah. And he got a big laugh and I was like,

Josh Adam Myers said that. I just looked just give it to him, I go, that wasn't me. Yeah. I don't want to take credit for that. Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't know why. Cause you're a good guy. But also, you know, the writers, you know, Tony Hinchcliffe

is a writer of Kurt's, what's amazing about Kurt is Kurt can call me with like, and he's such an outside-the-box thinker, like the most bizarre concepts and outside thing. And I can help him like spike a punchline for it. But it's just my mind never works to like have a 15 minute bit about like the black mamba snakes eating habits. But he's like, somehow he's got some masterful thing about it.

I'm always impressed with that. Yeah, just he just knows how to do that. Now, I'm not going with subjects. I'm always like, that's what I did my second, I think, crowd work album. I was going to, oh, I did call it. I go, I told myself I wasn't going to ask. And the whole thing was because, you know, the, I look on people, trivialize your comedy, the one for me always comes down to like, oh, I can do a big j-k, you're a fuck the black guy, you know, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, the problem is, it is a wildly amazing jumping off point. Forget just the obvious jokes about fucking a black guy. There's so many more things that Delves into. Yeah. You could branch off of it. It's just a good, you know, it's like, it's like having a good first word for wordle.

Mm-hmm. Like, your number one word just gets people going. Yeah, I guess I'm going. So while basically I said, I've never like, I don't ask like a lot of questions. I'll be like that, you know, what's your favorite apex predator? I don't really have jokes like that.

I'm just gonna be something a little more like earlier. That's what gets you, I mean, that ends up going for you. I have to like, either from the past pull out something, like I did at the Storytelling show, like I tell, I'm like, okay, maybe, like, for me, I go, maybe telling that

will fuel an actual bit, you know? Or I have to like talk about something that just like happened like today. Like that's how I have to start trying to figure this stuff out, you know? Yeah. There's no other way for me. I'll never free, I think I, I don't remember

if I told you, I've said it somewhere that like, I was blown away when I did new faces in Montreal and Metzger was in our group. Oh yeah, yeah. And I remember being like, oh, he's the best comedian of us because we were all in a fucking panic about doing our seven minutes and like, we're young so we're not like loose.

Yeah. And we're like, you start with this word, and you know what I mean? Like, so scripted. Yeah. Like, and that's what you do when you're brand new. You're like, do it just like this. It's something like Montreal to like when you go. Oh, such a different thing. I went the pressure you take you put on your self-written. I did new faces four years before Kirk got a Kirk got it where it would almost seem like it was too late. Like why did he get it? It was mine. He was in mine. He was O7. So you must've done it O3?

I did it probably, yeah. Yeah, I did it, I did it like pretty quick, like four years in the comedy. I got to do, but here's the thing, I'm gonna up there with a manager who all bad advice. Dress this way, do this. They want your sitcom, you gotta tell them about your home. And the problem was I was so young,

I was like I didn't have experiences. My experience would have all just been like, like we were in a sitcom about just recently moving out of my mom's house. I don't know, it just didn't seem like it was so young, I said I didn't have experiences. My experience would have all just been like, like we were gonna succumb about just recently moving out of my mom's head. I don't know, it just didn't seem like it was my world, but I took all that bad advice. Did it, said I wasn't happy with what was cool to watch. I got in have my wings spread there,

so I got to the nasty show. Do you be able to do that? I remember, I watched yours. Before, I know seven, you did a... With Patrice. You did a, yeah, You did a spot at this. It was a pretty big room. And we went in the back, we watched your set.

Oh yeah, that was great. That was like my thing that got me in with like Montreal. Well, my new faces was unmemorable. But I went that same year was Curtin, you guys doing a new face. And when I watched Curtin, new face that year, I'm like, damn, you know, this many years in the comedy seems like it's weird to do new face, but man, was he ready for it? Like, he stood out for sure. Well, he stood out because he also, whereas we were like, these

are the exact jokes and stay like this. He was like, Canada fucking sucks. Like he went up there and like shit on Canada. And we were all like, remember the moon joke. Yeah, the moon joke. And then he, he, I remember that I was like, oh, this isn't, like everyone's doing the best stuff that they've ever done. And this is clearly stuff that he wrote. He's just doing a set. A set here, like doing a spot at the seller.

Luis. And I remember just being like, wow. Because that was like, that was too advanced for like, I thought like we were like, everything. also the high drama of being younger too because I said I did daughter young So she was like when I did Montreal she was probably maybe a year or two older something I was never standing in the back in a short sleeve button down shirt and straight leg jeans and I would never worn on my own I think maybe maybe an address shoe with those jeans So bad and standing in the back before I get brought on stage,

staring at a picture of my daughter, being like, let's get this. Here we go. We're going to do and you're just like, then I'm out there and did fine. At best, okay. So we're they told you that like you should, that you should dress as like not you. Bad management at the time, but it was that was also, yeah, it was always like dressed like this, the sitcom thing. But and then also we had a host to, uh, I don't know him very well. It's kind of dig on him, which is a weird hosting choice. Sean Cullen, you know, that he's a Canadian guy. Whereas like a Fedora had he's very soft, but he's got a very unique style of comedy.

I'd say for what it is he does. Yeah. Wow. It's weird to see how old he is, but he looked more like the top right one. Who's that guy? Who's the Canadian? He had such a specific cadence, and they loved, and he would go, Jeremy Hots.

Is it Jeremy Hots? I was barely doing it. Is it where he sort of does like this snicker like himself? Yeah, yeah, Jeremy Hots. Pull that guy out. That's a, it's the HOTZ. That's him, yeah, and this right here.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is it funny? That's a genre of comedy, everybody. I had no idea what to name it. Yeah. Kathleen Madigan, Tom Kotter.

It's not, I mean, they all have their own thing, but I mean, that is like a Wendy Liebman. It's got that same like the, the subtle thing underneath. Yeah, underneath. Yeah. He has like a real, um, but man, yeah, but this, that host, Sean Cohen, yeah, the way he brought me like, he just like, I said, a heavy stylistic comic. So his intros were like, you know, I'm getting ready to go out there like first or second I was also early the lineup which was like nerve-racking and he goes all right your first the next comic is coming from a plan of far far away Everybody comes from Mars. We do he performs comedy clubs all over Mars and he's a fantastic Mars Could be no, he's not from Mars at all. Everybody's from he lives in New York City. Everybody. It's big J. Ocas

Like it's like and, you were almost like, do I, now? Yeah. Do I walk out of that, the intro? I had to, is that the intro to Jeremy Hots? Not the new faces, it was a few years later when I did another set there, and he was like, this next guy,

he has a podcast. And I was like, I'm standing there back. I was like, that's the fucking thing. And then he goes, and then he says was like, I'm standing there back, I was like, that's the fucking thing. And then he goes, and then he says something like, I wouldn't leave him around my kids or something. I was like, the fuck kind of intro is this. And then I go out, I do the set. And then he was like, you get what I was doing, right?

I wasn't like, I was like, I don't know what the fuck you were doing. I don't get what you were doing. The fuck are you saying? I gotta pop. Bobby Slate, and then we had such a rocky beginning to our like knowing each other So I open for my carolines once and did well And we got on stage. She's like

You know, I gave him a huge intro you did. Yeah, I gave him a big like his I was like in my mind I was like I was I'm such a fan of comedy growing up like all of it. So I'm like it was Bobby slate. Yeah, it's a little baby Yeah, the people of comedy so I'm such a fan of comedy growing up like all of it. So I'm like, it was Bobby Slate. Yeah, it's a small baby. Yeah, the people of comedy. So I'm like, I gave him a big huge intro and he gets on stage and goes like, all right, how about it for that fat fucker? Everybody goes, you like that fat fuck? And he starts just like calling me like horrible things.

And then I'm like, Jesus Christ. And then the crowd almost got weird with me. He got so mean that the crowd did have like a line on it and he's like, all right, and they just did a study. They did great. You know, his audience. And then when it, but I was like, yo, and I have to,

so the situation was two shows. One thing I got it called to do it last minute. I said I couldn't close out the second show. So I could host it, bring him on, but then I got to go. You got to voice to God in the show. No problem. So, but when I'm waiting for the first got to voice to God in the show. No problem. So, but when I'm waiting for the first show to end, I'm gonna go, I might not be on the second show.

When he comes off stage, I'm gonna be like, fuck was that dude. Why are you like, we have a problem that I do something you didn't like on stages. And I was ready, like, geared myself up for like, Bobby Slain or not, dude, fuck you. Yeah. And as soon as he gets off stage,

I walk over to him with like a mission, you know, and he before I say a word, he goes, hey, he goes, sorry about the shit with the fat fuckers. I was trying to be funny, but you know, it's like, I don't think the, he goes, you know, it didn't even go over while the crowd loved you. So, you know, sorry about that.

And I was, it was such a half ass apology, but I was just so ex, it got me right back to like, ah, you're the pit bull, you're the pit bull. And I give them all the sweet, like, you know, I'm like, yeah, and then we bullshit for like five minutes, only. And then I'm like, thank God I was, because in my mind I was like, I'm gonna argue with them

and then I'm gonna give them like a real shit intro on the next show. But in three sentences of him, it's gotta be like, that didn't go good when I was busting your balls up there. So, you know, it goes, they really loved you. You know, sorry about that or whatever, it's just a cast off thing.

And I was like, all's forgiven, you're the best. And then I go on stage the second show and give my, it goes, everybody from this, the pit bull, the comedy, the greatest Bobby Slay. And slaying goes you guys get that for that fat fuck I mean you got fuck up here with that fat ass, so I just did and I'd leave Like I didn't even get to like there was no confrontation at all He kept got he kept at it. He's didn't go over getting that I left and I was like

I was like, man, he stopped me at every possible time of like, we were like, I'm gonna stick up for myself. Like, there was some thing that was like, what? I have heard some hilarious stories about him talking shit to people. Oh, dude. He, who opened from, well, Fulshron had a great story about like, he goes, like Bobby was like,

I don't let people buy me a drink, you know, like they try to buy me drinks. And that goes something like, oh really, like they didn't try to buy me a drink. He goes, yeah, you're not Bobby fucking Slate, you know? And then he turned around and walked away, which is amazing. And then I, oh my god, I remember laughing so hard

at Patrick Melton's story about opening for him. This is like a fucking decade ago. And Patrick's big dude, and he said that like, they're in the green room, and they improv just brings like chicken fingers and fries. And he said that Bobby looked at it, and looked at him and goes, you really think of that fuck like you should be

and shit like that. And he's like god damn dude He's starting to eat it and he's like you're fat as fuck man. You really should need that shit Do we do I was like this is what he said out of the gate? It's wild. We did a I remember when he hosted the nasty show that mean Patrice did that year. Yeah, same year we're talking about some one and What was so funny was how many people? Like the older comics, sometimes I'd have a beef

with Patrice because of tough crowd. That's what I always kind of came down to, because they would come on the tough crowd. And then Patrice just didn't have the reverence for them. Right. He didn't react or was like, it's probably Slate, and I could probably let him, he could talk shit about me,

but I'm not really gonna go with him. Like Patrice would just like, I don't give a shit so they all didn't like him That year in Montreal I remember Patrice Well one with Bobby Slate and he called him Like Bobby was just didn't really talk to each other. There was be kind of standoff to each other and Then Bobby came out of the bathroom like you know Goo's up and he was like Bobby I bet you're the only millionaire that still does Coke with a rolled up one, which I thought was fun.

But and then it was funny like Bobby after Patrice died, he had said something where you got shit from someone for saying shitty stuff about Patrice. And then he was like, we did Ron and Fez, I think, together. And it was just so funny here. And I'm like, you're just talking too fast. And it just got him like, shit online too. Because he was like, look, those Patrice is a good comic.

Everyone says, good guy, I didn't get along with him. But you know, I didn't kill him. Like, that was sticking his moving on. But, you know, I didn't kill him. So we're thinking to be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Those interesting career, like I got like, Bobby the fuck are you talking about? Those interesting career like I got like, Bobby's slate, you know, I mean, like your audience ages with you, but where do they go exactly?

Yeah. I mean, it's not like the Denver comedy works, and it's not like a big theater in town. It's a weird, you know, it's a weird spot to be in. Yeah, and having like, he's been respected name, but you know, the Dom Arrere was a funny one that one that Patrice is Patrice getting me in shit with people being his friend. Yeah Because Patrice didn't make it for the first night of the nasty show for whatever reason I forgot to do and

Dom I rare was on that weekend too It's one of my first times we were working with Dom I rare and Robbie Prall was still in charge then It was my first time with him and it was a room the green room was just me Robbie Prall and Dom Arreira and Dom Arreira is talking to Robbie goes hey when Patrice comes tomorrow Ken like I Don't want to go after him or whatever. Oh, don't put me like right near him something like that And it was like and Robbie is near him, something like that.

And it was like, and Rob was like, okay, Don, like why? And he goes, cause I fucking hate him. Like I don't like the guy, whatever it was. And I just kind of overheard that. I'm like, oh wow, that's weird. And so when Patrice gets to town, I go to his room, we're bullshit and I go, dude, what is your thing with Don, my rare?

And he's like, why? So I told him I go, I was thinking like he said, he doesn't like you or something. I was like, you know, you knew him. He was like, oh man, it's just tough crowd shit. Those guys come on and I just talk over him and they get shitty about it. They're a bunch of old washups and whatever.

He's casting off it. And I was like, yeah, I was like, I mean, don't make it a thing at all because like it's not a thing, but I was like, I was just curious like what that thing would possibly be. He's like, man, I don't even over sweat that shit at all cares. And then later that night, in the green room, which is me and Dom, I rare. And he was like,

Hey, if I didn't know that you were like good friends with him, I wouldn't have said that in front of you. I'm sorry. And I was like, what? He goes, I wasn't the said that I hated Patrice in front of him. I didn't know you were friends, you know, because like you told them, I assume, and I was like, what? No. It's, it's, it can only possibly be me. Yeah.

And I just committed to this day. I've never told Dom Arrera that I did, I've worked with Dom's, like, and I know Dom at this point. Well, and it's so funny. I was, I think on other shows, I've even told the story, but I've never told Dom, I go, I did, by the way Dom at this point. Well, and it's so funny. I think on other shows, I've even told the story but I've never told Dom.

I go, I did, by the way, tell Patrice that you hated her. For like, I just did Patrice full. Tell him. Yes. I just full blown. Can I just never broke the family? I'm like, no, that's weird.

I've pulled that move so many times. That's weird, that I got back to. Oh my God. He said that I said that. Oh, you're saying that you think I, no. And of course, you go back to Patrice. Like, Patrice, how do you want to say it? And he goes, add the more I you think I, no, I would. And of course you go back to the trees, like Patrice, how you want to say to these goes,

add the more I thought about it, it bugged me. So I just sandbagged you. Yeah. Ha. Ha. Ha. You got to check out Big J's new special dog belly right now on YouTube.

Go to Big J, Olverson on YouTube and check out BigJ, Oloberson.com for tour dates. Thank you for coming, dude. It was a lot of fun. A BigJComedy.com. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. BigJComedy.com. I wouldn't have crugged until they highlighted it.

BigJComedy.com. You stafferly came big on that one. For tour dates. Check that out. And yeah, dude, always good to see you. Do thank you, man. Thank you, unfortunately, you soon. And yeah, and congrats on see you. Thank you, man. Thank you for seeing you. And yeah, and congrats. Congrats on the special. Thank you, man There's one cave No scripts to beat a booze amateur for topology

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