2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Danny Trejo's Tattoo Is More Famous Than He Is | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Episode Date: November 25, 2024SPONSORS: Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Visit https://bluechew.co...m with promo code BEARS to get your first month FREE. It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Burnt Crystals being joined by guest bear, Danny Trejo! John Segura is out growing his beard back, so Bert had to do his homework for this interview. He has plenty of engaging questions as he learns about Danny Trejo's first Hollywood roles, his gangster roots, and the importance his Uncle Gilbert had on his upbringing. Danny also talks all about his time doing time, how to stay in shape behind bars, and tells Bert a story about how he accidentally joined Alcoholics Anonymous. The two also discuss Danny's new show "Mysteries Unearthed" on the History channel, chicano culture, cars, cry acting, William Shatner, and of course the vast filmography of Mr. Danny Trejo. Check it out! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 264 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Belfast! I just added a second show on March 16th or as you say 16 March at Waterfront Hall.
The presale starts tomorrow at 10 a.m. local time with the promo code TOMMY.
Coming up I'll also be in Tallahassee, Florida on November 29th, New Orleans on December 7th,
Pensacola December 8th, Richmond, Virginia January 10th. The late show has been added.
December 8th, Richmond, Virginia, January 10th. The Late Show has been added.
Norfolk, Virginia, January 11th.
And Louisville, Kentucky, January 16th and 17th.
The 17th is sold out,
so tickets are available for January 16th.
All the dates and info are at tomscuro.com slash tour.
100%
Two.
Two.
Two.
Two.
Two.
Ladies and gentlemen, new episode of Two Bears, One Cave.
And finally, my partner is actually Latino.
My best friend claims Latino when it seems convenient, Danny.
Absolutely.
He speaks Spanish.
His mom's from Peru, but his dad was white.
And when he speaks Spanish, it catches everyone off guard.
Coming into Hollywood when you got into Hollywood,
because you came in like legit,
like your first movie was
Runaway Train. Runaway Train.
And one of the reasons that you popped so hard
was you were the authentic version
of what they were trying to make a movie about.
Like you were the real deal.
That's kind of what the director said.
I remember when they had picked somebody else
and then they wanted me after I showed up
and Andre Kajalowski, the director,
was trying to tell people, no, look,
because it was Eric Roberts,
he goes to Eric's face like this,
look, face, ah, look,
and this other guy was kind of Spanish.
Yeah.
Ah, look.
Hey!
You know what I'm saying?
I go, is this guy clowning me or what?
How did he say?
He says, uh, uh, adversary.
It was adversary or, you I feel like against each other,
we look like enemies, you know what I mean?
So these other guys look like lovers, you know?
So I ended up boxing Eric Roberts for that part.
I just watched that this morning,
because I've heard so much about the lore of that story.
I'm obsessed with like the little things in life
that change your life forever.
The one choice you make that all of a sudden,
and for you, it was you got a call from someone saying,
there's coke on set, right?
No, well, yeah.
This guy was staying clean, you know,
and he called me and said,
hey, there's so much blow down here, man.
I got 108 days clean, please.
So I just went down to hang out with him.
And unbeknownst to me, I got 108 days clean, please. So I just went down to hang out with him.
Unbeknownst to me that I was supposed to go down there the next day anyway as an extra.
So I walked on the set that night
and to hang out with this kid.
And I run into a friend of mine
that I was in prison with, a guy named Eddie Bunker.
Eddie Bunker is fascinating. Eddie Bunker. Hold on. Please tell me stories about Eddie Bunker.
Oh, he's awesome.
Keep going. I apologize.
But he's looking at me and says, hey, you're Danny Trejo. Yeah. He says, what are you doing here?
I said, they're going to give me 50 bucks for acting like a convict, you know?
Because, and we laughed because we've been doing that
for free for all our lives.
So he says, hey, you know what?
We need somebody to train one of the actors out of box.
I'm like, what's it pay?
And he said, $3.20 a day.
And I said, how bad do you want this guy beat up?
I thought, I said, hit, I wasn't making that a week.
And a day, I want to take two minutes to beat him up.
And he said, no, no, no, you got to be real careful.
This kid's high strong, man.
He might sock you.
I said, Eddie, for 320 bucks, give him a stick.
Are you crazy?
I've been beat up for free, homie.
I started training Eric Roberts out of box
for a movie called Runaway Train.
And Eric, you know, well deserved, he was a movie star.
So movie stars have their own way of acting on the set
and sometimes it doesn't agree with the director.
I want to rest now and go through the theater.
And everything stops.
So Eric respected me.
So when they wanted him, they would tell me, go get Eric.
I'd go get Eric.
Come on, Eric, let's do this, and then we'll train,
because he wanted to train.
Oh.
I'm no caller.
Please be Eric Roberts.
I'm sorry.
I thought I shut that off.
That's OK.
That's OK.
That's how real this show is.
That's okay. I, that's how real this show is.
And so, I had, I go get Eric and Andre comes in,
because I was just training him.
He comes in, I'll never forget he comes in, he goes,
Russian, first American movie was Runaway Train.
He goes, you be in movie.
You fight Eric in movie.
And you be my friend.
Well, if you have a prison background,
you be my friend has like a little,
wait a minute, hold on, hold on.
We're not shouting at each other, punk.
You know what I mean?
It's like, I mean, and then he leans over
and kisses me on both cheeks and walks away.
And I'll never forget, I looked at Eddie and said,
Eddie, I'm gonna train the kid for 320,
but if I'm gonna be kissing that old man,
I want more money.
And he said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's European, you know what I mean?
Yeah, okay, well, if I'm kissing him, if I would have known,
that old man did.
He got me a sad card.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
That sad card changes your life.
My life.
And so I don't wash his back.
You know?
Let me get that front, too.
I mean, it's like, the whole life.
Yeah.
I started going from movie to movie to movie,
because they were making a whole bunch of prison movies.
I got that big tattoo on my chest,
and the directors loved it.
So I didn't, my first 10 movies I don't have a shirt on,
you know, were in prison.
And it was funny, directors would always say,
Danny, say something prison-y.
Hey, we'll kill all you punks.
Oh my God.
Where did you study?
Safeway, Vons, all the robbers.
So it was like, I just kept working.
I kept going from movie to movie to movie.
And that's the way it's been, my whole career, 1985.
1985, you got out of prison in 68?
Yeah, no, 69.
I got out of prison in 1969.
I was a drug, I'm still a drug counselor.
I worked for Western Pacific Med Corps.
We have a detox, all over, we got 13 detoxes.
Okay, can I tell you my, there are a few stories,
I get obsessed with people,
especially anyone who's had a rough background,
meaning like the chips were against them,
it didn't look like they were supposed to succeed,
nothing was gonna go their way,
and all of a sudden they just show up in a major way.
And I heard a story, one time I was talking to a friend
and he said, you know, Danny detoxed in the hole.
Always.
Really?
Every time I got arrested, I was hooked.
So I would detox in the county jail with like,
hey, shut up, bastard.
Jesus.
You know, that's the way you just kicked, you know,
and you gotta remember, this was 1965, 64, 63.
You know, when, I remember, well, God, in 65, 63,
when I got arrested, it was like nothing.
I mean, they were sending people to the gas chamber
or selling dope, you know, nobody knew.
That was crazy, you know what I'm thinking of it, yeah.
I want to go back to Eddie Bunker and I want to,
what does it feel like, what does it feel like
when you've been in prison?
I mean, I have so many fucking questions for you.
Going to prison has got to feel,
it's got to give you anxiety.
When you put on prison clothes again on a movie,
was there a moment of like, oh God?
That happened, actually, it was funny,
because when the first AD on runaway train
handed me that blue shirt, I kind of laughed, you know what I mean? When the first AD on runaway train
handed me that blue shirt, I kind of laughed. You know what I mean?
I just couldn't crack it open, put it on.
And no.
He said please this time.
And he told me to leave it open, do my shirt off,
you know, because of that big tab blue,
and I left it off.
And I just stood there, just like, kind of like,
just reminiscing. And I'm stood there, just like, kind of like, kind of like, just reminiscing.
And I'm watching everybody and they're all being stupid.
But, but, because everybody thinks prison is this like,
you're out of the way, I'll kill you.
It's not, man.
Prison is a very scary place,
but nobody can show it.
You know, it's like being with your girlfriend
in a haunted house and you know you're scared,
but you can't show it, you know?
And, because in prison, you learn to smell any kind of weakness, any kind of fear, any
kind of sorrow.
You can pick it up.
I mean, what's wrong?
You ask somebody, what's wrong?
I got a letter, you know, something.
And so...
Oh, you can, oh, you know, something. And so...
Oh, you can, oh, it's so crazy. I didn't, I just realized you also have personal shit
happening to you while you're in prison.
Absolutely, see, that's why, like,
a lot of people tell their girlfriend,
hey, you know what, cut it loose, let it go.
I can't deal with this.
Oh, yeah, because you don't want to deal
with the ups and downs.
I get a letter one week and I don't get it for three weeks.
You're like, what the fuck are you doing?
Yeah, yeah, you cut your wrist.
You know what I mean?
I've watched people cut their wrist
because they didn't get a letter.
It's like, whoa.
You can't depend on the outside.
You are no longer on, you're on an island.
And people, it's, let me say this,
a wife has three children, her husband's in jail.
So now for her to go visit,
now he's in San Francisco, she's in Los Angeles,
she's gotta get a babysitter for two days, three days,
and she's got to like drive up, take a bus, whatever,
get a hotel, sleep in the car,
and go visit for a couple of hours.
And so it's not like an easy life either way.
And so when I cut everybody loose,
I don't write anybody or talk to anybody.
And I just, you kind of like institutionalize yourself
you kind of like institutionalize yourself
to this is my world,
while this is it, this is it.
And so you start acquiring everything it takes to make you comfortable,
and get as comfortable as you can.
and get as comfortable as you can.
It's the only way to keep from going totally insane.
I mean, literally.
And people think, well, I'd rather be in the hole. No, you wouldn't, because that's where you go crazy.
Nobody there, nobody to talk to, nobody. You're just there all by yourself. You learn, there's nobody there. Nobody talked to them. You know, they're all by themselves. You learn, you adapt.
I used to do the wizard of Oz. I used to act the whole,
give me the little shield Dorothy on that whole. The whole thing.
Really? Yeah.
Wait, where did that, were you a big wizard of Oz fan? Were you a wizard of Oz fan?
No, I just remembered that movie.
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I used to do the hunchback of Notre Dame, the old one.
She gave me water.
Imagine if you're a guard in San Quentin.
He's going, what the f-?
Is someone in there with him?
Guards would walk by and I'd scream, did you kill my sister?
Because of the Wizard of Oz. It was like, ah, trail's going nuts. would walk by and I'd scream, did you kill my sister?
Because of the Wizard of Oz.
It was like, ah, trail's going nuts.
You know, and so, but you make yourself kind of go crazy
so the environment can't make you crazy.
You understand?
It's like, I'm doing this, they're not.
And you've got to be strong enough to know you're doing it.
That is a really profound statement.
I'm certain there's like a therapist
that's hearing that going, yeah, it's called dot dot dot.
But yeah, I know what you're talking about,
where you go, I'm not, this is so bad right now.
I bet there's been that have been in war
that go, I have to contain my surroundings.
Absolutely.
Holy shit. So that's, man, I have to contain my surroundings? Absolutely. Holy shit.
And so that's, man, I did that for months.
And I play a great Henry Lawton.
Ha ha ha ha.
She gave me water.
Ha ha ha ha.
How were you the first time you went to prison?
Oh God, you don't go to prison.
It's like, in order to acclimate,
you start off in juvenile hall.
You're in juvenile hall and from juvenile hall,
you maybe go to a camp or something,
and then from there you end up in youth authority,
and then from there you end up in youth authority, and then from there,
you end up in youth authority, then you end up in,
so you've already like, you know, this is your lifestyle.
You know people, but people that have trouble
is that do something that gets them sent to prison
the first time, so they know absolutely nothing
about the lay of the land.
It's like not having gone to summer camp
and then going to college.
That's a bad analogy.
That just shows you how white I am.
It's like not going to sleep away camp.
And then all of a sudden you go to college,
you're like, well, I never went to sleep away camp.
I'm so nervous, I miss my parents.
Sleep away camp, I like that.
We have such a different life. I have been given every opportunity
in life to succeed. And I'm obsessed with your story because there are little things
I know people hear the wrong way, but I hear a certain way. Like your uncle Gilbert.
Love him. Okay so I do too and I'll tell you why I love
him is like it tell everyone about Gilbert real quick before I start I
because I've heard stories about your uncle and what he meant to you and who
he was to everyone around you and what you saw him as but tell everyone.
No Gilbert first of all it's, my grandmother had 11 children, all right?
Gilbert was the last one.
So basically, they were out of care.
They just, they're done with kids, you know what I mean?
And my uncle Rudy went to college.
He was the one before Gilbert.
And then Gilbert was kind of left on his own, you know?
And my mom and dad,
my mom and dad were perfect pictures of the American dream.
If you work hard and own a Cadillac and a pickup truck
with a camper, you've made it, and a house,
and you've got a wife that's basically an indentured servant. I don't think my mom ever left a house, and you've got a wife that's basically an indentured servant.
I don't think my mom ever left the house.
She was like, we have the cleanest house in the world.
You know what I mean?
And I'll never forget, we had plastic on our couches.
And I guess, you know,
I don't know, people you won't sit on.
But their whole thing was right there.
And the one thing, I know it sounds selfish,
but they never had time.
They were always had their stuff.
I can remember going to my mom when she was on the phone.
Mom, mom. shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
Well what?
And go through talking to her.
Wow, and then my dad, you know, talk to him,
hey dad, I just go and bust you with this phone,
asshole, on the phone, my boss.
Was your dad born in Mexico?
No, he was born in Texas, the same thing.
Born in Texas, and that is, correct me if I sound silly,
is that Chicano?
Yeah.
Okay, so that's Chicano.
And so my dad was like,
dad was tough, he was bad.
Now, if I went to Gilbert, and he was on the phone,
Gilbert would go, here, oh wait, hold on,
hold on, what's up, hold on, yeah. All right, let me get on the phone. You know, he always had on yeah all right let me get the phone you
always had time no matter what he was doing yeah he'd be running somewhere yeah Gilbert
yeah yeah what's good yeah well you're jumping the car let's go you know I mean it's just
and so that's who I gravitated to the guy that had time for me and the guy that had
time for me had to be a drug addict and an armed robber.
A stud. He was a stud. He was a stud. Good looking dude. Tough as fucking nails. Everyone
respected him.
Taught me how to fight. Taught me how to fight. And everything he gave me allowed me to succeed
in the path that I took being a drug addict, an armed robber, penitentiary,
lightweight, welterweight champion
of every penitentiary I was in.
And I was in all, and so.
You were in all of them.
You were actually in all of them.
Quentin, Folsom, Solidad, Vacaville, Susanville, Sierra,
those were the ones that were built when I was.
So I was obsessed with Blood In Blood Out.
I loved it.
I was obsessed with it.
And that's when I started getting into Nortenos versus
Sudeños.
Sudeños, and so they started,
what they were doing at this time, correct me if I'm wrong,
but they were trying to break up Mexican gangs in prisons.
So they would take anyone who was anyone
and just shuffle them around. Well, it was funny funny because when I was doing Blood In and Blood Out,
I met a guy, Mario Castillo,
Mario Castillo. And we were talking and I said,
hey, why don't you come in and get your part in this movie? And he said,
we can't because they were Sureños, right?
And Quentin was the Northern receptionist.
They were all Norteños.
And Amaro was so tough that in a Norteño prison,
he's wearing a pair of shorts that say LA County Jail.
So he's saying, I'm Surenio.
But he's pushing foreign some pounds.
Nobody mess with him.
And it was, he said, hey, you know what?
We can, we got the word from the mafia.
No Sudanios can work on any prison movie
because of what James almost did. who no Sudanese can work on any prison movie
because of what James almost did, screwed everything up.
Wait, what did James almost do?
Well, he...
I loved every James almost.
He did a movie called American Me.
I saw that one too.
And the problem with that is that he made the leader of the Mexican mafia, he said that
he had gotten in juvenile hall, which is an outright lie.
Oh my God, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh yeah.
I remember that scene, yeah.
It was an outright lie. And then some other stuff that wasn't supposed to be told.
And he paid some guys that were like skid row bums
that had been on inside, he paid them cigarettes and stuff
on the street to tell stories about the mafia.
So he got in trouble and so they shut it down.
So the war was out.
So the Blood in Blood Out, we were inmates,
but none from Southern California.
And our movie, Blood in Blood Out, got a lot of acclaim, man.
American meme died because everybody knew.
You know? I'm gonna claim man, I'm gonna claim that I'm gonna die, because everybody knew, you know. I mean.
I mean.
I mean.
I mean.
I mean.
Please be Edward James almost.
Fabian.
Fabian.
Wait, let me just, I'm gonna.
Sure, take it.
Hey, in two days, I'm killing you, two days.
So get all your stuff, insurance, all that stuff ready.
I'm in a podcast right now very important and two days, okay
You'll be dead
Yeah, I'm the guy doing it I'm in the Russian mafia
Hey, I'll call guy doing it. I'm in the Russian mafia. Good to see you, man. How you doing, brother?
Hey, I'll call you back in a little while.
All right.
Love you, man.
I love you, too.
It's so funny.
This guy got out of prison, right?
We took him under our wing.
Yeah.
And he stayed out.
And then he got a part in a movie.
But he couldn't go because it was out of state.
It was the one about Hot Fritos, Hot Cheetos.
Yeah.
So the Hot Cheetos is a crazy story.
Even even even LaGoria and I knew her and she called me, Danny, can we get him in?
I don't know, let me see.
So we went down to his parole officer.
He couldn't go out of state.
He's on parole.
We go to the store and took him donuts.
And hey, oh, Trae, we took pictures.
And then I asked him, hey, look, you know what?
We got a movie, man.
He's a, can he go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
take this picture.
So we took a couple pictures and he went to.
I can't believe I just told a guy that just got out
of prison I was gonna kill him.
Can we edit that or just bleep me saying,
I'll give you a high five?
But so, I forgot what I was saying.
No, we were talking about Gilbert.
And we were talking about going to prison and just like.
What he did was he gave me the tools necessary to survive.
Yeah.
In the path that I took.
Well, he did, yeah, he turned me on to drugs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
At a quite young age.
This is where people get hung up.
You first smoked pot when you were eight.
Eight, yeah.
Eight, and heroin at 11.
Yeah, but people say, oh my God, that's terrible.
But any weed smoker has gotten a puppy loaded.
Uh.
Okay.
My sister.
That's true, that's true.
There's nothing better than a high puppy.
And so.
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Jim Gaffigan, the skinny,
streaming right now on Hulu.
You know, I love dogs.
Yeah.
And so cats, I mean.
That cat is fucking scary.
I happened to be,
well, I was actually bothering my grandmother
inside the house.
She told me to go out there with Gilbert
because he had two friends.
And they were reading the Bible.
Because there used to be these guys that came around
and they would sell this huge red Bible,
just big with gold trim.
And they were only like $88, but you know,
10 payments for five years. Yeah. I remember I had buddies who sold those. They would go door to
door. Northeastern Company was the name of the company. And they would sell Bibles, they'd sell
encyclopedias, because back in the day before the internet, if you rolled in with encyclopedias,
this is a way to get your family into a different situation.
You have all the information of the world in your house.
We bought those.
And so it was funny,
but so I go out there to be with Gilbert,
so she sent me and they were smoking weed.
And all I remember hearing is,
let's get him loaded.
I can still hear that. Let's get him loaded. I can still hear that.
Let's get him loaded.
And that was it. I got loaded.
It was funny because people that get loaded,
they were going to get loaded.
People that weren't going to get loaded. People that weren't gonna get loaded, I don't know, I gave Timmy Sanchez
weed, like my next door neighbor, and I'm smoking weed, he got sick, he started throwing
up and got sick and went home, right? Never got loaded again, didn't you know drugs. I stood there and giggled, you know, and so I went from weed, heroin,
I caught my uncle shooting heroin
and threatened to tell if he didn't give me some money
to know what it was.
I just knew he was doing it, so I did that
and that was it, I was found it, you know.
Really?
And I became like a full blown alcoholic
because now that bug opened up, you know,
and heroin, you can't beat 13, 12, 13,
run around, scoring heroin.
I used to just go up to one of the connections doors
and like my uncle would wait in the car,
I'd go, hey, give me some heroin,
and shut up, you better,
I'm like, ah, wait, wait, wait.
I'll kill you, go on, take that.
God.
That's so crazy.
It's interesting you say that about people that get loaded
are gonna get loaded. Yeah. Because my wife can't smoke Huh? If my wife smokes weed, she throws up immediately exactly
I mean, that's just so that some people are born with the bug or whatever it is
And other people want some people it's like I watch some people drink and you're like, yo
I don't think alcohol agrees with your system, you know, like they just turn into a different person.
It's an allergy of the body
coupled with an obsession of the mind.
Your body's allergic to it, but your mind's obsessed with it.
You know what I mean?
It's like beer.
My dad, I had gotten sober.
And I would sit, me and my dad would watch,
there used to be Saturday fights.
Every Saturday we'd have fights.
And we'd watch him on TV and he'd sit down,
six o'clock, right, and we'd sit there,
open one beer, right, and we'd be watching the fight.
And there's a six pack in the,
and 10 round fight, and he's like,
ah, one beer!
And then I, dad, you want another beer?
Nah.
I was like, well then why'd you buy six?
I couldn't stand to see him, it's like stupid,
beer is a little to be in the icebox.
I'm always shocked when I go to dinner with my wife
and she has one glass of wine.
And I go, what are you just trying to stain your teeth?
I was like, let's get on to one, let's get after it.
Yeah, I-
I've never understood,
I know people that order a mixed drink
and aren't done, they're ice it. It's like what this? And so I don't drink
like normal people. And I don't shoot heroin. Well, normal people don't shoot heroin. You
know what I mean? It's an obsession, an obsession of the mind.
So how did you turn it off?
I know you've had a lot of great,
I say men because I think they were men,
but a lot of great men that kind of like
just gave you the right advice at the right time.
Well, you know what, it's like one of the things that,
like I started going to AA by accident, all right?
Everything happens by accident,
but there was a big party in our neighborhood.
I was in Pacoima, and that was the murder capital
of Los Angeles in 19, when I was, 1959.
Pacoima's right there, right?
Yeah, Pacoima.
And I mean, we were killing everybody.
And there's all these cars parked out
in front of this house, and hold it.
This is our neighborhood.
They're having
a party in the murder capital of Los Angeles. They're not inviting the murderers. What the
hell is going on? So we stopped, went to the trunk of the car to get the tools necessary
to crash parties. And so we got entire iron bumper jacks, I have 38 snub nose, a case of beer, three bottles of wine,
half pint of whiskey,
I was already loaded on Red Devil's pills.
And so we crashed, you know, you can't knock,
you just kind of go bust.
Yeah.
And the first thing we saw was a big sign that said,
we care.
And we're talking about what?
And all these people, they were coming up with coffee cups,
you know, like, hey, you want the coffee?
And I always told my troops, don't split up, stay together.
There's 20 of us, you know, we got them.
But what the people did was like dividing,
he had everybody in little groups of four
telling them about the perils of drinking.
Everybody's drunk.
And this guy comes up to me and starts talking about,
he was alcoholic and now he don't drink.
And why don't I put that stuff outside and join him.
I said, hell no, I got penitentiaries to go to, fool.
I didn't know what to say, but I left, and we all left.
And I mean, this guy whispered a curse to me.
He said,
Maybe I don't wanna hear it.
No, I'm telling you.
He said, Danny, if you leave this meeting,
you will die, go insane or go to jail.
And I thought, screw you.
That's a stupid thing to say to a 15 year old kid.
We left.
Two weeks later, come on out, we have the house around it.
I was busted, arrested again and gone too long.
And so it was like a pattern.
I always, I've never gotten arrested sober.
I've never gotten, I mean, I've never gotten arrested
that I wasn't loaded on heroin.
You know what I mean?
And so it was like, is that my problem? Using was my problem.
I'm the problem. Drinking and using is my medicine.
Part of the thing, yeah.
You know what I mean?
No, I know to go to meetings in every institution.
The damn Frank Russo, Frank Russo, Frank Russo.
And I say that because he told me never to mention his name.
But he actually,
show up to Spanish Entry, he's there,
he shot a couple of people in front of
Sun Valley Receiving Hospital.
He was there and he came,
Danny, we gotta go to this AA meeting,
it's awesome, blah, blah, blah.
I gotta AA me, he said, no, no, no, AA,
they got cigarettes.
And I said, I'm a journeyman convict.
I got cartons of cigarettes.
He said, yeah, but I know that, you know,
hey, we can get coffee and cake.
I said, come on, I got that in my cell, what the hell wrong?
And then he says, there's women coming up.
What?
They brought women to AA meetings in prison?
They don't have women to myself.
No.
You know, so.
It's a fucking no brainer.
I signed up for the meeting,
but the problem is when you sign up for something,
you can't say, I want to go to AA to see the women.
You got to say, I want to go to AA
to deal with my alcohol problem.
Now once you say that, that goes in your jacket. That means everywhere you go, oh, you have
alcohol problems. So the mandatory, every institution I went to, I had to go to alcohol
as long as we end up. And so I go to this meeting, and it's actually a pretty good meeting.
That's where I met Johnny Harris, my sponsor, right?
And he said,
the only thing that's gonna beat you to Quentin
are the headlights on the bus.
So yeah, and I said, yeah.
I thought it was a compliment, you know.
And it was funny,
because when we pulled up to San Quentin,
right, 10 years later, I see the headlights hit the wall
and I said, hey, let me walk in front.
I think everybody on that bus had heard John Ayers
because everybody knew what I was talking about.
And that was it.
And I went to AA all the time, because I had to.
Yeah, that's interesting.
When you went into AA meetings, did they do,
like, I really, when I say I know nothing about prison,
I just know what I saw in like Blood In, Blood Out.
So like, but did they have like an Aryan AA median,
and a black AA meeting?
No, those are all the same.
You know, everything else is segregated.
Solid Ed is the worst,
because when you're walking into Solid Ed,
the guards are trying to keep things equal.
Yeah.
They're trying to put white, black, Mexican,
all spread out.
And if they send you to the African-Americans
and you're a white guy, you better make a quick turn
somewhere.
You know what I mean?
You're Mexican, same thing.
We segregate ourselves.
Oh, really? And they usually don't want to make a big hassle out of it. You know,
they just leave it alone. And uh, that's what the tables all have four.
Yeah. And four people. And so it's a prison is probably the most right now place
in the world.
The most right now right now it's all happening right now.
If you want to be present, go to prison.
That's where the term, I got your back came from.
Really?
When we're talking to each other, I got your back.
You got my back.
And people don't even know that.
They use that, hey, I got your back.
That means like, I'll watch out for you. But that's for real, I got your back. That means like, I'll watch out. I'll watch out for you.
But that's for real.
I got your back.
So if something's happening,
I'll check this, check, you know what I mean?
I'll let you know, whatever it is,
because I don't know what, you know.
And that's why I always call the right now place.
Right now you can die,
right now you can almost die,
right now you can get away with it.
It seems like I would,
I feel like I would act
a day late on any threats.
Like they'd be like, they'd be like, oh, I like your hat.
I guess you can't wear hats in prison, but like, can you?
Taylor hats.
They go, I like your hat and I go, oh, thanks.
But then that would mean my hat's getting taken from me.
Yeah.
And then I would be like later,
I have a very big head, size eight.
You probably maybe want to talk to someone else.
Yeah, yeah, you can't let anything be taken from me.
Tell me about, was it Ed Bunker?
Eddie, he was awesome.
He drew out, this is like the wildest thing I ever heard,
he drew out maps of how to rob places.
I can't believe that's an occupation.
When you came out of prison, if you wanted a couple of scores,
you would go to him and depending on what they were, how much,
he would tell you what he wants.
And if you were any good, you know, and knew your game,
he could, he'd go with you, you know.
But if you were just something with,
then you'd have to pay him, you know.
But he was amazing.
And most of the people that bought robberies from him
got away, you know.
And then how did he get involved in movies?
How did he, was he a consultant?
You know, yeah, actually him and Alvin Sargent,
who was outsider, he was a writer, director,
they wrote a screenplay called, I mean,
No Be So Fierce with Dustin Hoffman
and Gary Busey's first movie. No Be So Fierce with Dustin Hoffman
and Gary Busey's first movie.
And Dustin Hoffman came out of prison and went to buy a robbery.
That scene is in, but it's actually my uncle and me.
Anyway, so.
Dustin Hoffman buys a robbery from him.
And that's how he became, he was famous.
He went back to prison after that.
And then him and Sargent finished writing that
when Eddie was in Terminal Island.
Alvin Sargent would go up to Terminal Island,
the visiting room, and they finished writing it.
Jesus.
You know, and uh.
Seems like such a misplaced genius.
And so then when it came out,
it was a hit, unbelievable movie, right?
And uh, Eddie was probably one of the most brilliant,
one of the most brilliant people I knew.
I mean, he was a captain's clerk.
And he was the captain in San Quentin has a clerk
because the captain runs the whole institution.
That's the top dog.
Yeah.
And he basically counts on his clerk.
So if a guard was like messing with my tattoo operation
or my booze operation, I could pay Eddie and say,
hey, can you get this guy transferred?
And yeah, okay, it costs you 100, 200,
whatever it's gonna cost you.
And Eddie, when he had his stack of papers
for the captain to sign,
and all of a sudden, two days later,
that guard was on the
6 6 p.m. To 6 a.m. Guard out there in the bay somewhere, you know
Wow, and if he had that kind of power and he was that smart it's crazy
Is it do you think it's wild that like that one to two that you got on your chest?
Became like almost like a calling card. Like a thing you did in prison.
Hey, that is the most recognizable tattoo in the world.
So recognizable.
And so funny. That was more recognizable than me. I mean, it was literally people went to con
and were talking about doing this movie with me and who, who this guy oh the guy with the tattoo yeah dude
i mean so many movies it's so many movies you see that and you everyone knows who it is
it's funny because harry harry super jude ross he uh he uh he hated it because it was one of his
first tattoos and so the lines are very thick.
Oh, he's the one who drew it?
He's the one who drew it and did it.
But now...
Jesus, look how jacked you are in that picture.
Now they've gotten so thin, they've gotten so thin,
the lines have gotten so thin,
the tattoos are like paintings.
What are the words above it?
We'll cross out one of them.
One's Danielle, my daughter.
Yeah.
You know, the other one was a mistake.
Hey, that one's gone.
We misspelt it.
That one's gone.
And I put my son, Gilbert, and Dan.
You name your son Gilbert?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's badass.
That's my boy.
That's badass.
Is Gilbert's son still in prison?
No, he's out.
In fact, we got him out.
The governor, I talked to the governor,
and he's, yeah, yeah, that's enough time,
so we got him out.
And then I talked to Newson, governor and he's yeah yeah that's enough time so we got him out and and
then I talked to Newson and got Mario's Mario's son out you know wow and how
much how much of prisons like like okay in another very white guy analogy when
you look at gymnasiums from like when Arnold was working out and Gold's gym to
where gymnasiums are today, they've grown so much.
They've got polar plunges and IV drips and they've got deprivation tanks.
Compared to where they started, how much have prisons grown?
They took most of the weights out of...
What?
Yeah, out of prisons. Well, the problem was that the police, the guys would,
you know, guys would be up there five, six years,
lift the weights, and all of a sudden
come out on the streets, and they're monsters.
Yeah.
You know, and a lot of the police started to,
wait a minute, you guys are breeding monsters.
And so they took the weights out.
So now all the guys are coming out still ripped, but.
Push ups, push ups, air squats.
I do the prison burpee where you do it and then you.
It's funny, I used to see guys doing squats
with guys on their shoulders.
Yeah.
Boom.
And so it was, you know, everything,
you adapt to everything, you know what I mean?
And so a lot of the weights are probably at the guard's house.
Do you think you're in such good shape right now
because you've worked out your whole life?
Yeah, absolutely.
Are you 80?
80, yeah.
You do not, my dad's not 80 and they, the hurricane
down in Florida and I was like, I was like, I think you should come out to LA. He said
why? I said, well, didn't mom fall on the ground the other day and you just left her
there to sleep? And he was like, yeah, that's, yeah. And I was like, well, if you guys can't
get off the ground, maybe we should get you out of where a hurricane's coming, but you're
in fantastic shape.
I still work out, and I still walk,
and I still do whatever I can.
I have to.
You know, I'll sleep for like four hours,
and then I'll wake up, and then I might go live some weights,
come back to bed, sleep some more, then wake up.
I don't know, it's weird, but I'm staying in shape.
I'm still staying in shape, staying weighed about 180.
Yeah.
When was the last time you thought about drugs or alcohol?
Like in an honest way, you're like,
God, it would be good to have a glass of wine.
Not, no, I'm not really,
it doesn't really hit me like that.
I'll be like working on the yard,
working a sweat or something,
and you think about, about,
Weiser, la cerveza, mas fina,
mama la, mama la, mama la, mama la, mama la,
but a beer on a hot day will give you a headache,
so you drink another one.
You know, okay, so now that's two,
and then when you got two, it's like, all right.
What are we doing here today anyway?
You got a buzz going on.
So I don't, it doesn't, it doesn't,
I don't know how to say it.
That's not my taste anymore.
Yeah.
You know, and I hate not being in control and
You wouldn't it's funny police no matter I'll be speeding they'll stop you trail what the hell who you doing going so fast
I was a I was on the freeway on the 170.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I'm in the diamond lane
and I'm jamming to the restaurant, right?
And about 65, beautiful Riviera,
85, wow!
Damn, wow!
Pulled over.
What the hell you got in this?
You know, that's when we started talking.
He said, get out of the diamond lane,
because I was, by myself.
By yourself.
I do that sometimes when the cop pulls up,
I just go like this.
And he says,
he says,
stay out of the diamond lane, OK? Is that your thing?
You like cars, don't you?
I love cars.
Really?
It's funny.
I got a 1936 Dodge.
And I love that.
My grandfather.
You can pull these up on the screen.
I'd love to see any of these.
My grandfather had a 1936 Dodge.
And it didn't have a clock.
And so my uncle Gilbert used to deal weed.
And that's the second one, the black one up there on top.
Oh, wow.
And the
Oh, wow.
And the
It's like a Peaky Blinders car.
And we would drive. My grandfather would sleep for two hours during the day like a Peaky Blinders car. And we would drive,
my grandfather would sleep for two hours during the day, so we'd steal the car.
And my uncle had a big bowl,
and it had Sense Mia in it, right?
Yeah.
And I'd listen to the radio,
I would count the songs,
so, because the clock didn't work.
Yeah.
So it would be like the time,
we got two hours.
And so I'd pull up to a house,
and it's two joints, three joints.
And we just keep driving, so hour and a half
and we go back home.
Oh wow.
And so, but that's why I got a 36 Dodge too.
That's great.
Wait, I love, can I tell you my favorite thing
that Mexican men seem to own is the whistle.
It's like my buddy, my buddy Felipe does it all the time.
And it's, I always wonder,
are there different whistles for different things
or is it one whistle?
There's a whistle, and that means danger.
Yeah.
What's the whistle if you see like a beautiful chick and you're trying to
tell your friend? We had a parrot that did that. That's so fucking badass. That's my
car right there. That's your actual car? Yeah. Oh, that's beautiful beautiful how many cars do you have I think nine low riders nine different
low riders yeah I got a fun building right now the most gorgeous nineteen nineteen forty
nine Chevy stepside pickup truck oh. It's absolutely stunningly gorgeous.
Oh my gosh.
The black one.
The black one.
A five window, but it's beautiful.
Car culture is, I feel like it's,
I feel like it's predominantly an LA thing.
Oh yeah.
I feel like anyone else that's into,
their car culture was big in like Indiana in the 50s
where they'd drag race and stuff,
but every culture in LA is into a car,
a different type of car.
And like your southern California states,
you know, like Texas, New Mexico, Arizona,
you know, they have the best weather.
So, you know, the cars, the paint jobs and stuff,
and they're, God, I love them.
Well, if I remember songs and cars together,
I can go, like, I remember the first cars together, I can go,
I remember the first time I heard NWA.
We were in my Volkswagen Fox,
we were smoking Marlboro Reds, and they put on NWA,
and I was 16 years old, and it blew my mind.
Give me a time in a car with a song
where you can almost transport back into that moment.
I can remember a song by Bob Dylan.
You used to run around in the town, didn't you?
Didn't you?
Oh, I just heard that, yeah.
And it was funny because it was a long song.
And when it first came out,
they used to play it back to back
two or three times.
And you would be like shooting heroin.
And you'd be like nodding.
And you'd wake up, and the song was still beyond.
You know?
And you're, damn.
Didn't you?
I remember that.
And it was like, you know, you didn't go back.
There's so many songs.
Yeah. Were you the same age as Richie Valens? No, he's a little older than me. I think he was two years older than me. I remember that and it was like, you know, they go back there's so many songs that yeah
Were you the same age as Richie Valens? No, he's a little older me. I think he's two years old two years older Did you guys went to the same high school? Didn't you?
Junior-high
Do you remember when Richie Valens came out?
I don't know what it is about Mexican culture that I'm obsessed with but all those movies came out when in a time where not much
representation of of Mexican culture was shown and so there's like weird things that I'm obsessed with, the Zoot Suit riots, and
like because they were all parts of movies that I saw. But man, Richie Valens, I was
obsessed with him because he was the one guy dating the white chick that was authentically
Mexican. Donna? Donna. And I went to, I got kicked out of San Fernando High School
and they sent me to Monroe High School
and I had to take a ceramics class.
I took a ceramics class and she was the first one
to say hello to me.
Really, really sweet heart.
Oh, Donna.
I knew Richie, we started talking, blah, blah sweet arts. Hi, Danny. Oh, Dan. I knew Richie, right?
We started talking, blah, blah, blah.
And I had to do this, what is it, a project, ceramics.
And he would just do this, and we did a wine glass
and rocks, and we put it in a kiln,
and it was a beautiful wine, I still wish I had it.
And that was it, and I passed the class.
It's crazy to think that that kid,
who was probably so lost at the time,
would turn into you.
Will you pull up Danny's movies for a second?
And I wanna talk about Trejo's Tacos.
So your tacos, this is gonna sound, once again,
like the whitest thing in the world.
My sister nannied for the guy who you partnered with
to make those tacos.
And I think he was a business partner of yours.
Who's that?
An Indian dude.
Oh, Ash!
Yeah.
Are you kidding?
Yeah, isn't that crazy?
God!
Yeah, so we used to, sidebar,
we used to get Trejo's tacos all the time for parties
because we'd hit up, my sister would hit up Ash's wife.
I forgot her name.
Yeah.
Beautiful, beautiful.
And they got a divorce, or they're getting a divorce, yeah.
Oh really?
Oh, she's on the market, guys.
She is beautiful.
Indian women, I slept on Indian women.
I never hooked up with an Indian woman. I wish I had.
It doesn't matter. It's not them, it's us.
That's what my fourth wife finally said. It's not us, it's you.
I gotta tell you, if anyone's gonna watch one movie out of all these, and in my opinion,
and I'm telling you, this is the thing I want you to walk away with this podcast. If you're having a rough day right now, we
have a lot of kids that are just like trying to figure their way through life. Maybe I'm
not the best shepherd, but Inmate number one is such an amazing movie about a man whose
journey was not supposed to be that journey but it turned out to be.
If you think you're down on your luck and you think, but it doesn't happen for guys like me,
it really wasn't supposed to happen for Danny. It really was not supposed to happen for Danny.
But you did something that I swear to God, I woke up today and I was like,
that's going to be my new thing. is you said, I just wanna help,
I'm gonna see what it feels like to help people.
And when you help people, in just the littlest way,
you were talking about the very first person you helped
was an old lady who you were helping her take her trash cans in
and she thought she was getting rocked.
Yeah, I said, I'm a robot then!
Shut up, I got a trash can.
And you know, God pays us back.
I mean, like I said, Mario Castillo,
when I talked to him in Quentin,
and eight years later, after I met him,
I run into him in a narcotics anonymous meeting.
I don't know if I told you this,
but I run into him in a narcotics anonymous meeting,
and 10 years ago, he saved my son's life.
Literally, my son was dying in a hotel room
with friends, my son, he's got the key to my safe.
So I'm in Germany, and he's got money,
and you got money, you got drugs,
you got friends around you.
And so, I mean, he's literally dying.
And Mishko, who was a friend of my sons
who grew up with me, he's like, look at that.
And he calls me, and he says,
man, Gilbert's dying, he's got that dough in there.
So I call Mario, and Mario, don't worry, I'll find him, I'll find him.
I'm like, well, okay.
I'm ready to split, I'm gonna leave this production.
I don't care about the money.
And then about six hours later, he calls me and says,
I got him, don't worry, I got him.
Yeah, he's here, yeah, he don't got no shoes,
but I got him.
Oh, damn.
And it was funny funny because the two guards
that were guarding this crack house, right?
Yeah.
I didn't know but I knew one of them knew me
and one of them said, who was that crazy guy?
He came up and said, don't move, I'll kill both of you.
And walked right, and Mario, if you look at a Chicano gangster
And Mario, if you look at a Chicano gangster
in the dictionary, it's got his picture, okay? Don't mess.
And he's not like that big, he's just a tank.
And then I got home three days later,
we took him to a friend of mine's recovery house
Renee and it was a rim of the world up in up in
Lake Arrowhead and I remember as we went through the clouds my son goes well
All plans of escape route
And and he's got 10 years clean.
He's in the DGA right now, he's a director.
He's leaving for Japan tomorrow to direct some big music video.
Oh wow.
Don't tell me they know God, homie.
He'll pay you back, maybe not in your own time, but he will pay you back.
I think that was the most applicable thing I got
from that movie was by you helping people,
people started helping you,
and the world started working for you.
And I just was like, you know,
in everything we're going through in this world right now,
so many people are about me.
How do I get it for me?
And as opposed to how do I just help the average person,
so if you're listening and you're a little lost,
maybe just help go get an old lady
her shopping cart at the store.
Just something, or if you see a shopping cart
sitting in the middle, don't get outraged.
Yeah, you move it over and do a solid.
Now out of all these movies, what was your,
if you go, hey, at Danny's funeral we're gonna play three movies.
And then these are his movies.
The funeral's gonna be a five hour funeral.
I would say Spy Kids.
Yeah, fuck yes.
I would say Heap.
Oh, fucking, I keep looking into the room.
How great was Heap?
I know you were in it so you can't really say,
but that fucking movie was, we would,
that was in First Round Sound, my buddy had it,
and we would go and we'd watch Heat in Surround Sound.
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
Oh my God.
That movie, I did Heat with Robert De Niro and we became friends
He loved my kid. He loved Gilbert. He think Gilbert was a genius
Because we went to dinner with Robert De Niro
Gilbert my daughter and me we went to dinner with Robert De Niro when
when we were doing desperate
Machete and Robert asked me,
Danny, do you remember this,
do you know this French director
that did something blah, blah, blah French,
blah, I'm gonna watch a film.
And I started to say something and people was,
oh, I, you know what, I love him.
They started talking, they spent the rest of the night
talking about the idea of movies.
Me and my daughter played with our food.
But they became really good friends.
And Robert De Niro gave my son the key to Texas University
because he donated all his memorabilia there and so my son got to go in there and check it all out you know my son's got his phone
number and uh and what a crazy cast. I did Heat and and me and De Niro kind of made friends, you know?
And then when we asked him to do machete,
yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, I mean, I keep going back.
My favorite character other than you in that movie
is like the outlier characters
are the better than De Niro and Pacino.
And I always say like,
Fal Kilmer's character in that's so underrated.
It's such a...
You know what?
Well, I was so upset that he didn't win an Oscar for...
Tombstone.
Tombstone.
Tombstone.
One of the best Westerns ever.
If it comes on, I watch,
from where I turn it on, I watch the rest of the movie.
Absolutely. If I ever see Tooms, probably one of the most quoted movies in my opinion of our
generation. The Godfather, Goodfellas, very quotable. I mean I quote American Me and Blood In Blood Out are two fucking movies that I was obsessed with as a kid. But fucking,
goddamn Tombstone.
That was unbelievable.
I'm your Huckleberry.
That's like,
oh, what a great-
I did a film, recently just came out,
it's called Seven Cemeteries about zombies and stuff.
And then we've got, right now, we've got Unearthed.
Unearthed on History Channel.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, eight episodes coming out.
By the way, History Channel's got my number.
I love them.
Everything they fucking do. God, I love them.
Everything they do is so good.
And I love the, I watched the first episode
and it is phenomenal, but I know all those dudes.
I used to work on Travel Channel with those guys.
William Shatner.
William Shatner, I'm gonna, I gotta,
it's not a podcast if I don't tell you a story about me.
William Shatner, William Shatner, that's how you gotta.
William Shatner one time.
This is so bad, man.
I took a general meeting with him.
Been, oh, I met with him, I met with him in a podcast and was like, wow,
I was like starstruck.
He said to me, he said, there's a scene in the movie
where my character cries and he goes,
in William Shatner's way, he goes, can you cry?
And I said, I think so.
I said, but it's kind of silly,
because if I cry, I feel stupid,
so I start giggling at myself. And he just switches in think so. I said, but it's kind of silly, because if I cry, I feel stupid. So I start giggling at myself.
And he just switches in his seat,
and he goes, I'd love to see that.
And I went, like right now?
And he goes, yeah.
And so I started crying on a couch with William Shatner,
and laughing, and crying and laughing.
And he just was like staring at me,
and he just kept me going forever.
And he was like, fascinating.
He's unbelievable.
You know what's so funny?
It's like my son did a movie, right?
He did a movie with me and him.
And it was called From A Son.
And in it, he dies, he overdoses,
and I'm his father.
I go into his hell looking for him.
I don't know, he's dead, right?
Yeah.
And I run into his little girlfriend,
and I threaten her life, show me where he's at,
and he's dead. And he said, show me, you know,
we're walking into his body
and I'm supposed to cry in it, right?
Well, I don't know, I can do like John Wayne.
Okay, pilgrim.
My son's showing me baby pictures all week.
Hey dad, look what I found, man.
And this is my, oh, look what I found, man. And this is all my daughter, yeah, I remember.
And so, when the scene, we're out in the middle
of the damn desert, it's freezing cold,
she's taking me to his body, and my line is,
did you kill my son?
And she screamed, no, I loved him,
he was my only friend friend and she was crying.
I started crying.
But now wait, this wasn't like a manly cry, okay?
No, this was like Mokko's, you know,
you know how you're trying to say,
unfamiliar, unfamiliar.
I couldn't stop, man.
God, I cried for every time I wanted to cry in my life and
And so finally when he said cut the whole core was crying
everybody and he comes in a nice acting day, I go you little bitch
Yeah, I finally figured out what he did yeah, and uh
God man. It's like that's going to
And God, man, it's like, that's going to Cannes right now,
that this movie. Is it really?
Yeah, yeah, so that's.
You guys, you have so much,
I wanna go back to the History Channel show for a second.
What episodes, what are the episodes?
There's eight episodes, you know all the episodes?
No, I just know, they're unbelievable.
I've seen some of them and they were amazing.
I like history anyway.
I fucking love history.
And by the way, History Channel,
if you're listening, more shows like this.
I don't need to see people making knives.
I want this.
Yeah, my teacher, Mrs. Finley, right?
She was like crazy about the Navajo Indians
or like, I forget, but she was also obsessed with, what do you call it?
The Amazon River, and that's got such a history.
I mean, it's unreal, this is before time.
And she had these dead piranha fish in a big jar,
and I always used to like get bread
and put on the top of the jar.
Might get hungry.
And, but she always talked about this river and this,
and I would always disrupt.
And I hated the fact that I'm studying the damn Amazon River
in the fourth grade.
Come on, I'm never getting out of LA, lady.
And we got an LA river here, tell us about that one.
50 years later, I'm doing a movie called Anaconda.
God dang it, all your movies.
All the damn Amazon River.
Yeah, you're on the Amazon River.
Ice Cube.
J-Lo.
J-Lo.
John Voight, who I know, Eric Stoltz,
all these guys are asking questions.
That crazy lady gave me the answer, I knew the answers.
Hey, how come those are all,
oh, that's due to the rise and fall.
Cube, Ice Cube goes,
I didn't know all that shit, Danny,
I thought you were a gangster.
I lied. I said, you know, I thought you were a gangster. I lied.
I said, you know I read a lot when I was in prison.
Come on, I'm going to tell Ice Cube, oh my fourth grade teacher mentioned Finley Dog.
Shit.
I love that one day at lunch Ice Cube leaned over to JLo and was like, he knows a lot about
the Amazon. I was obsessed with, when I was a kid,
you are older than me, you're my father's age,
but we're of the same generation when we didn't have
the internet the way it was.
So all you had were books, and the few books we have
were like on the Bermuda Triangle and like Atlantis,
and everything about this series is stuff that I'm fascinated
with. Especially the first episode I saw, it's all about, I just watched this, I just
listened to this podcast about the lighthouse of Alexandria and it was lost for years. And
in 1960, this guy went sponge diving off the coast of Egypt or wherever it is, and he uncovered the stones.
In that first episode, they uncover stones and they're in a straight row.
That feeling of being an explorer, I kept thinking, if being an archaeologist was just
a little easier, I would have loved to do it.
Like those first three years, it's got to be exhausting where you're learning shit you
don't care about.
I just want to go do the digging and then grab the lady and get in the plane. God. That was so funny because we
were in Texas and they were building this building there and then they found
some bones right and the contractor was like so mad yeah because it stops
everything they gotta be in dinosaurs and stuff, and I love that. That's the one thing I think I ever got a good grade in
was like history, you know, and just knowing stuff.
But it's so funny, it's like the stuff
that's really, really interesting,
you just really don't need to know. Math isn't interesting but you
really need to know. I said to someone the other day he said the lighthouse of Alexandria and I
went I've never met someone I could talk to about this. I was like all this stuff you're supposed to know I
don't know any of that shit I I only know the crazy, stupid shit.
But all right, I'm gonna get you outta here.
Congratulations on the series, Unearthed.
Is there anything else we need to cover?
The 10th, we have eight episodes.
Okay, I'll cover it.
Congratulations on the new series,
Mysteries of the Under-Earthed, with Danny Trejo.
Eight episodes on the History Channel, premiering December 6th and last
But finally not least. What is the third movie they play at your funeral and I'm
Hoping it's what I think
What is what the third
The three movies that movies they want to play at your funeral. We've got Spy Kids, we've got Heat,
and by the way, you're covering everyone at the funeral.
My kids are happy.
And Machete.
I knew it, I fucking knew it.
Better have that one.
The fucking, the,
I get the girl.
It's so funny, I love to do that.
People say, God, I thought you were taller.
Why was I tall enough to kiss Jessica Alba.
Oh, yeah.
She's awesome.
She was just so unbelievable professional.
It's crazy.
And I don't know how to say it.
It's like Selma Hayek, same thing.
Selma Hayek, beautiful lady, right?
And when we were doing From Dusk to Dawn,
they had hired all these strippers from different clubs
to work, because they gotta be naked.
And Selma was like, so almost crying.
I said, what the hell's wrong with you?
These women are so beautiful.
Bitch, what the hell?
But no, but see, but it's like, it doesn't matter.
You know what I mean?
It doesn't matter.
It's like how we feel about ourselves.
And God, I said,
yeah, two minutes and I'll be brushing your hair.
Two minutes and I'll be like, oh, she almost did it.
And she's so, how do you say it?
Humble, humble.
And I'm mad at it.
I can be so beautiful and humble, shit.
If I was that beautiful, I don't know if I'd leave a mirror. Yeah.
I definitely wouldn't have clothes on.
I'd spend a lot of time naked in front of the mirror.
Brother, this has been an absolute honor.
Thank you so much for taking the time.
That mom is mine, dude, thank you.
I am such a fan.
I am such a, such a fan.
And I'm more of, I mean, I'm more fan of just the man.
The work is amazing, but the man, you are a legend.
Just an absolute legend.
Did you hear that?
Thank you, brother. Here's what we call, Two Bears, One Cave.