2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 10 - 2 Bears 1 Cave 2 w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: October 22, 2019

Now you can text both Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer on the "Community" app! Just like Sebastian and Ashton Kutcher and your other favorite celebrities. The Bears reminisce about some awkward moments of charity. We learn about Bert and LeeAnn's first date, plus Jet Skis to Catalina, flying planes and Corvettes. Tom [phone] Bert [phone]

Ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, ruck, Let's go. Let's go. There's a perfect way to start off this show. 12 years in the making. It's gonna be a fucking shit show. I haven't put it in my bag, everyone. It's gonna be a, maybe the hey, it's 100%. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I one cave, I'm Tom Segura. And his phone number is 818-275-5526. And I'm Bert Kreischer and my phone number is 323-208-0844. Thank you, P. Diddy. Forget this and touch with these awesome phone numbers. Now if you wanna talk to us, you can text us. And we can tag.

Oh, cool. The thing is, I've always wanted to connect with my fans. And I'm just looking for another way to do it. So I thought, how about just give out my phone number? Yeah, I think it's one of the best things that's ever, you know, this is my dream, right? Yeah. I did this for real. I got an extra phone line and almost released it on Rogans and you guys were like, that's a really bad idea.

Yeah, but now that Diddy and Ashton and Sebastian are involved. Sebastian. Have you ever texted with Sebastian? Yes. Not a long textur. Nah. Nah. Yeah.

I asked the question, why? I'm like, it's written. It's written again. Why? Why? Hey, did you see the episode into a Sebastian on something's burning? I saw part of it. Yeah, I beat him. Yeah, I did see that Oh, my God. That feel it felt so But he took that so serious. I had so much. He really was like kind of depends what you in the mood for Yeah, dude. It's can I tell you our burgers? Do we talk about this on the last something's burning? Or on the last two bears one, Gabe?

I feel like I don't know. Too many podcasts. I know. How do they say that? I think our burgers were indicative of our standup. Meaning, if you look at my burger, over the top four patties, cooked in bacon grease, onions, mustard, special sauce,

held together by a flimsy little piece of bamboo. It's totally burnt. Completely unhealthy, but tastes great in your mouth, and it's the bastions perfectly put together. Just fucking beautiful, the best ingredients, top notch. Little dry. Little dry. A little dry. A little dry. A little dry notch. Little dry. Little dry. Hahaha. Yeah.

Do you ever think about having, do you think everything will have guests on this podcast? I've thought it and I thought that it's a resounding no. I think so too. I feel like we could have other buddy teams like I did dream about Matt and Ben Affleck coming on our show. Ben Affleck. Ben Affleck How great would it be if we got better flak to fall off the wagon? What never mind

Don't you think that would be something awesome? Oh, I wonder if Ben Affleck has a number Maybe I mean another duo's but you know what I kind of like the idea of Getting somebody excited to be on and then just never following through for them. You know? No. Don't you love that when someone's like, I wanna be on your podcast, you're like, I wanna have you on.

But it's just not gonna work out. There are three people I can think of right now that I've texted with for about a year and never had on my podcast. How do you put them off? What do you do? You know what it is? It's like, I just, I text with them and if I text with someone,

they're never gonna end up on my podcast. Because they need to text with like, Leanne or Redd or Andrew or Halston, but like, if it goes straight to me, it just fucking gets left. I know. I know. What do you say? I always go, yeah, we gotta fucking gets left. I don't think they just go like, can I come on? I know. What do you say?

I always go, yeah, we gotta make that happen. There's Eric Griffin texting me yesterday. He's like, when are we gonna podcast? Fucking Cheeto Santino. Fucking, every time I run into him, when are we gonna podcast? And he's like, dude, tell me when? And I just, it's like I never, I have the worst follow-through.

I have the worst follow-through. I'm surprised I got married. By the way, how was your blowjob? I saw push talking about giving you a blowjob. Yeah, I was like Tom got a blowjob, too. Yeah. I Guess I have You and Leandah think I have you and push to think yeah,, yeah, they were really hoeing it up that way. Holy shit Liam was like, I feel like you earned it. I was like, oh that's what, that's how you want to blow job.

You don't want it to be out of passion. You want to be out of debt or like, I need to pack a cigarette. It's ha ha ha. Yeah, no it was good. Then I was like, just turn over. You know what I want to do. So, we got, have you, I'm waiting for my fucking emails.

Oh, yeah, no, no, no, it's, I can't wait. Your number once again, 818. Can you make sure you get this real big? You didn't even cover my face with it. 818, 275, 5526. What are you gonna text back to people if people write to you? Are you gonna, are you gonna interact with fans? Yeah, I will.

Yeah. If, look, I mean, people start reaching out. Yeah, I'm going to. Oh, I think that's so much fun. You know I'm gonna over-interact with fans. You are the worst person. I bet I get blocked by people. Yeah.

I bet people that came in and lose my number. They had one of these a long time ago called say now. I got a good advice for you. If had one of these a long time ago called, say now. I got a good advice for you. If you start texting with Bert, be like, hey, the machine. Hey, man, I wanna get a drink with you, man. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, funny bone or maybe it's the same one it is still is. I was in the Cincinnati funny bone and there were these three women were all wearing the same shirt and I was like, hey, what is this, a family reunion?

And they're like, no. And I was like, well, what's up with the shirts? And they're like, you're not reading them apparently. And I was like, now, they're all pink shirts with the big breast cancer awareness thing. And as they say that, my brain going, you fucking idiot, you maybe sort of learn the shirt. Do you know what happened to me? What? So you know that shirt company,

homage. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're doing a sober October shirt with homage. So they do great shirts. Yeah. They do awesome fucking. And they're out of Ohio and So they have a lot of different sports things and I was like really into them for a minute I was I was buying a bunch of their shirts So one of the shirts that they sell was had this kids image on it like a face Oh, and I just bought it and wore it and I wore it on something on I think on television So I get contacted and they're like not by them by somebody who was like hey, I saw you wearing that shirt And you're gonna be in Columbus and a bunch of people there saw you wearing that shirt. So they want to come To the show and I was like okay, sure come to the show and I was like okay sure come to

the show it was at the Columbus funny bone so I go do the show when I finish the show I'm going back to the green room and someone the staff is like hey so they're here and I was like who's here and they're like remember the family from the from the homage shirt and I was like? And they're like, remember the family from the homage shirt? And I was like, family. And they're like, yeah, you remember you wore that shirt? I go, yeah, they go, well, they're all here. What do you mean they're all here? They're like, they're all here.

So, they bring back to the green room area, like 16 people. By the way, by the way, if you could just put a pen in this, you are the worst person for this too. Like, this is not your skill set is like, oh, keep going, keep going. You're going to love this. So I go, okay. So they bring back these people one by one start coming in and they're like, oh, they're just like, I'm getting you.

Oh, and you're just like, oh. They're like nachos. So they're like, hey, so it was great to be, you know, at this show. And I was like, yeah, thanks. You had a good time. By the way,, yeah, thanks, you had a good time. And by the way, they weren't like,

we had the best time, they were like, is that all right? I was like, I'm like, cup of tea? Yeah, they're like, everyone's like, different things, I guess. So I'm like, cool. So what's up? And they're like, well, so you wore that shirt on,

I must have wore it on Comedy Central or something. And I was like, oh my God. Right? And they're like and that was like our son. I was like what and They're like the shirt. I go is was your son? They're like yeah, it was the shirt was made in memoriam of him and he died and He loved their shirts too and so like how did you first learn about him? I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. Oh my God, you just saw a child on a shirt

and you're like, dope shirt son. Yeah, oh cool. It was a, who's this? Natalie Holloway, who's she? It was a cool shirt. I was just like, I wear that shirt. I didn't even think about it. And they're like, it was a cool shirt. I was just like I wear that shirt. I didn't even think about it and they're like it's a memorial shirt and I was like oh fuck I was like oh fuck so and I was

respectful you know obviously I was like so that but the one that she was like so what like what did you know about him and I was like they made him in an XL I was like like, yeah, I was, I like, I just, I made it up on the spot. You know, I go, I knew the him how much he liked their shirts. So I was like, oh my God. And you can tell that they were like, oh, okay. They were black. So it's a black kid. Yeah, it's a black kid, okay. They were black. So. It's a black kid?

Yeah. It's a black kid, Tom. I thought it was an athlete. That's why I got the shirt. So I thought, I thought it was a penny hard away shirt and I got it. And you're like, oh, I have a big fan of James Worthy. No, they were, they do.

Look, they were, they were nice. You could tell that there was definitely a miscommunication from like Seeing the show that you go the families here to see you and you're sitting in that small club is funny bone Improved green room and the clumps come in the fucking just oh My god, so wait. I want to see the shirt. Do they have that you know we should do here's a thing by the way I I was super nice to them,

obviously, I didn't mean, but I had no idea I was buying a fucking... Memorial shirt. No, no idea. It's like my whole fifth grade year, I wore women's clothes to school, and I didn't even know it. Why?

Cause they just fit, they just fit, and then someone would... Why were they getting them for you? I know they weren't. I would go into my parents' closet to get a shirt. They haven't sent it yet. They haven't sent it. They'll send it.

They'll send it. Maybe she's sending them to me. You'll both get activation emails. Um, they, they, I just go into my, um, yeah, they haven't sent it yet. I just go into my, my parents' closet and I would pick a shirt and I was wearing my dad shirts at one point They were too big and then I found these shirts to fit and they were blouses

And it was like kind of when that was cool to wear like blousey stuff And I but I and then I noticed all the buttons were on the other side And then someone was like hey, where did you get where are you is that like a woman shirt? And I was like no, and then like a pirate shirt. I was like huh? And I was like yeah, this is a little blousey. It was like sixth grade, seventh grade, as well as when I was wearing women's clothes to school. But yeah.

For a whole year? Oh, for an entire year. But yeah, and so I, giving back to giving this girl my number, I said to this lady, I said, so what is your choice for? And she said we have breast cancer. And I went, oh.

And I was like, okay. And then you know, you're trying to get out of the hole and you're like, but you're okay now, right? She's like, no. And I was like, it really? She was like, yeah, it's actually, I'm, I'm, I just went, we thought we were, I was in remission, but I've got it again.

And I was like, okay. I was like, cool. And then I was like, um, give me your number. Jacob, do you want to do a shot? She was like, yeah, and I was like, can you do shots? And she goes, I have cancer. I mean, it's gonna kill me. So um, give me your number. Do you want to do a shot? She was like, yeah, I was like, can you do shots? She goes, I have cancer. I mean, it's gonna kill me. So yeah, I might as well.

And I was like, okay. So then I bring up stage and I was like, and we go to do a shot. I was like, how bad is it? It's like, it's pretty fucking bad. And I was like, really? And so then I gave her my phone number that night. I was like, listen, if you ever get really down,

I'll give you my phone number. If you ever down, call me. And then I, I'll just talk to you until you feel better. She was like, okay, and this, we were in the new house by this time, her in our house and at this time. And she called one night and I answered it, and it was saved, I think, woman with cancer. And I was like, you saved it as woman with cancer. Yes, I knew, so I wasn't going to be like, hello, who the fuck, what?

Press cancer, click. So, and then I ended up talking to her, and I talked to her for so long, she was like, listen, I gotta go. And she hung up on me. That is totally gonna be you. That's gonna be me. If you guys call me at my text me at my phone number, which is 3232080844, then you'll be shocked at how much I,

you know, so- Can you give out a different number before? No, you have one and I have one one okay, but that was the same number three to three two eight Oh eight four four is Bert All right, I'm excited for this this is gonna be fun. What if this is the new Myspace? Myspace burned to the ground so Bobby Kelly got me on this thing called got me on this thing called Say now back in the day. Yeah. And it was like, Dane was on it, Bobby was on it,

Bill, I don't wanna say Bill Burrows on it, and you give out the number, and then people will call it, and then you got there, you got there number. How bad would Bill be at this, if they're like, give out your,

he'd be like, hey, why can't I quit my fans? Oh my God. Fucking horrible. But I would just call this number, and you could leave them voicemails. So all of a sudden, their phone their phone would ring and they'd answer it and they'd get a voicemail and dude so many people fucking Unfollowed me that on that so quickly because I get drunk it to in the morning like what's up fuckers? I got some big thoughts and I just rant I do a podcast by myself into their phone

Yeah, and people would call and be like, hey man listen dude I just saw you wanted a club. I signed up for this stupid number. Please take me off the fucking list. I got work in the morning. Yeah. So get ready guys. It's gonna be a blast. Text me, text Tom.

We're gonna chit chat. Text Whitney Cummings, text B, Ditty. Ditty, who else? Somebody else, Ditty, who else will be fine on it? Joe Koyz on it I think? Joe Koyz on it, I think. Joe Koyz on it? Yeah. Celebrity comedians.

Right. Yeah, like us. We're celebrity comedians. We're celebrity comedians. Would you ever do like a celebrity, like golf tournament or boxing match or something? I don't know, man, I don't think so. I would, I would do a golf tournament at a heart beat.

I don't play golf though. Oh, what about, what about this? Would you do when they do the, when they do the Formula One racing down in Long Beach, would you do that? At a roller does that. I do that. Oh, that would be fun as fuck. So wait a minute.

Recap what have you done class-wise in the last week for so-ber October? I think I haven't done anything new. I've done spearfishing, tactical training, surfing, that hot sweat. Wait, you didn't do spearfish before the last one, did you? Yeah, it was. Yeah, I spearfished before the last one. Oh yeah, okay.

Dude, now I'm doing holding my breath things. I've been online doing these, they're called something charts where you, your O2 charts, where you just try to get the oxide in your blood and just feel uncomfortable for as long as you can. I held my breath for a minute 30 today. That's pretty good. Dude, I'm fucking getting really good at holding my breath.

I know that's the silly thing. I once was, was looking at you. How do you practice? What do you do? I hold your breath. That's it. That's all you can do. What you can do.

What you can do is there is there a something that they advise you to do to increase it. Yeah, hold your breath and walk. Okay. And so that gets your body, like, see how like, you're supposed to like, I did kettlebells, kettlebells, but a farmer carry, it's all my breath.

And try to walk 100 meters with kettlebells in my hands. Nice. And then I've been swimming back and forth with my pool back to see how long I can go underwater. But then, but the real thing is these charts, and I think I fucked them up, I have the app on my phone, but you're just supposed to like, you know that part, apparently the part

where you feel like you're gonna die when you're holding your breath? Yeah. You can live there for like forever. What? Yeah. That doesn't mean anything. When you hold your breath and you feel like you're gonna die.

That doesn't mean anything. That's apparently like really good. I'm, I haven't read, I don't follow through with all the things, so I don't do all the research, but yeah, that's like the best part of holding a breath. Something like that. Something like that. I wonder if a doctor would say the same thing.

I'm trying to get a best part when you feel like you're gonna die. It's good for you. I'm trying to get a spear fishing trip off Catalina, me, and Joe. Do you want a Jetsky there? 100%. They offer that.

To Jetsky to Catalina? Yeah. I would do that in a heartbeat. I follow, I think the company's called Jetsky to Catalina. I follow them on Instagram. You know I wanted to take a Jetsky from Mexico to Tampa. In 2009 when I did my- That's way further than okay.

It's all about chase boats I wanted to get I wanted to get a jet to promote my 2009 Comedy Central special Yeah, I told them I wanted to do a special leading into my special where I took a jet ski live And we put it online we aired it like it's commercial breaks on the on on like that all that day Leading up to my special and we took a Jetsky from I just literally went out Rennaday Jetsky in Mexico and just started going to Tampa and they passed look and then Kurt Bronholder You can really Jetsky to Catalina. Yeah, that's a name of a company shut the fuck up. They're called Jetsky to Catalina I could do that in a heartbeat. Hey, Jetsky to Catalina. We want to document our trip Jetsky to Catalina. I could do that in a heartbeat. Hey, Jessica to Catalina. We want to document our trip

Jessica into Catalina. How long do you think it takes to Jessica to Catalina? Can't be that long. Is that a long beach? I mean, you're ripping going there, right? 30-40 miles an hour. Fucking least. You just see fucking sharks everywhere. It's awesome. I swim a great white shark's off of Catalina. I flew a plane last week. Oh wait, wait, tell me about that. So fun. Parole? Yes. So have you been doing the classes?

Yeah, but those are the class. That's one of the classes. The whole concept this year was like, you can sign up for any class it's new. Yeah, no, no, no, no, I meant, I meant, have you been taking it? Oh, no, no, that was my first one. That was my first one.

The very first time that you fly? Immediately. And I was like, so we're gonna do some classroom training first. He's like, no, we're not. And I was like, what are we gonna do? He's like, you're just gonna fly. Yeah. And I was like, okay.

And I go, so what now? He's like, I mean, just take over. I mean, are you gonna tell me what to do? And shut up. Yeah. So I was like, you don't wanna know how to skin a fish by talking about it. Let's do it.

Let's do it. Let's do it. Shut the fuck up. And then he was like, and as soon as we, you know, he showed me the foot pedals to actually drive on the ground, then we got to the runaway. He's like, I'll control the foot pedals on the runaway. You do the job. Does he behind you? No, it's next to me.

Right next to you, and he's got his own controls too. So he's like, if you're fucking something up, I'll take over the controls. And I was like, okay. So I took off. I flew around. I banked. I went out to the ocean, I dipped down a 700 feet flew over Malibu over like off the coast. Are you serious?

Banked back around, flew over the hill, back into Van Aes. And then the thing that I thought was crazy was, so we're approaching Van Aes, the strip is on my left, right? And we're flying, like what's it perpendicular to left, right? And we're flying, like, what's it, perpendicular to it, right? Yeah. So I go, should I bank and head towards it? He goes, I'll leave it up to your discretion. And I was like, okay.

So I was like, I'm gonna go for it, he went. So I banked. I'm gonna go for a fly by that. I bank, and now I'm leading up to the runway. In my mind, I'm like, well, landings are the most. That's where I really do. So I'm like, this is where he'll be like, I got it from here.

I'm like, so should I keep flying? And he's like, yeah. And I go, all right. He's like, and he's giving me verbal, he's like, he's like a nose down a little bit. Why don't you pull off the power a little bit, go down to like 40% and a little bit lower and point that knows down a little more. Now we're approaching, I'm like, are you letting me land the fucking plane?

Shut the fuck up. Now we're on the approach and I'm like, we're right over trees. I mean, I'm like, I'm like, so as we're actually now approaching the strip, I'm like, there's no way this fucking guy is gonna be like, just land. So as we're like coming down though, I feel it cause the yolks are connected, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I feel him, I'm like, oh fucking, thank God. So he doesn't tell me to let go. He's like, no, no, he just kinda does it with, but he's obviously in control now. And he lands and I was like, Jesus man, I thought you were gonna let me fucking land. Oh my god. What kind of playing with it? It was an SR 22 turbo Can you pull one of those up so I can see a serious CIRR US? I would love SR 22 turbo need to turbo. Oh, shut up. Yeah, one of those hit images. There you go. That's it. God. Yeah. That's so fucking hard. And so where are you? Where are you going to take all

the lessons and learn how to fly now? I kind of want to, man. I really enjoyed it. It's kind of nice. And then you know how you'll die. Yeah. It's like going, well, I'm a smoker, that's how I'm going out. Yeah, I fly planes, that's what I do. You think John Denver was drunk when he crashed his plane? I don't know, is that how he died?

Yeah, he crashed his plane in Santa Monica in the ocean. He did? Yeah, they say drunk. These have a parachute in the plane. The plane has a parachute. Really? Really? Yeah, they say drunk. These have a parachute in the plane. The plane has a parachute. Really? Yeah. So right here, there's a lever.

And if you're anywhere about 400 feet, you can pull it and a parachute comes out of the top of the plane. Oh, often I use that parachute. By the way, he tells me we're about to take off. And he's like, there's a parachute like built into the plane forward the plane. I was like, oh yeah, yeah, okay, cool.

He goes, so if I have a heart attack, some happens to me, you know where it is, and I'm like, all right, and I go, just pull the parachute, he goes, look for like, he goes, like a good area, and then just pull it there. I'm like, what's a good area? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, define good area, a fuck face.

Holy shit. He goes, not it's gonna happen, I got a poor diet, yeah, yeah, define good area of fuck face. Holy shit. He goes, nothing's gonna happen. I got a poor diet, but nothing's gonna happen. So he's like, if I have a heart, oh, I never even thought about that. You'd go up with that guy, and be like, if I have a heart attack. He's like, killed over. You're like, mayday, mayday. And this is Tom Segura.

Sure it is. Don't know if I'm serious. My guys just had a heart attack. Get off the phone horn, castle. Yeah, so that's so fucking awesome. How many hours do you have to fly before you can just take planes out fly yourself like 25 hours? No Yeah Doesn't take long. Yeah, you know that you're not gonna get like instrument ratings and stuff But like you want to have a person like a private pilot's license. It doesn't take that much

Dude, yeah, that's the way I can say so, Verge. I also went to Porsche driving experience and got in with the chief instructor to do a manual race course. That was one of my classes. Holy shit! What car did you drive? I did the car that I have, but the manual version. Yeah.

Right? The KMNGTS, but the 718, the newer version. Pulled up. Pulled up. Come on, the the came in GTS but the 718 the newer version. Pulled up pull up, come on to Dov. Yeah, look up 718 GTS. Really really fun car to drive. Yeah just like that. It's fun really fun. But the fun thing is doing it like you think you know how to drive everybody kind of does. Yeah. And then when you hit a track with a pro, like guys who have raised for their life. Yeah.

And they start telling you where to turn, where to give power, where to back off. So he's just running shotgun, telling you what to do. Yeah, he's like, he's like, drop it down to second. He's like, throttle, throttle, throttle. And then he's like, break, break, break, break. And then he's like, come out here. Like, you're turning in here. You should be turning from this point like giving you Exactly how to drive then we got into a look this up look a GT3 RS

Yeah, we got it one of those whoa and He he rub he ripped that shit. You drove with him? He drove. He was like, check this shit out. And oh my God. Yeah. That's $253,000 car.

Yeah. Shut the fuck up. It's not. I wish I was in the car. Joe has one of those. Joe has that car. Has a GT3 RS, yeah. But like what do you do with it?

You just wait till everyone goes to sleep and then drive it on the highway? I mean, ideally you really should take it to a track. Has he ever taken his to a track? I have no idea. But also, it's just so fun to drive that. There's so much power. It's based, this is like a street legal race car those are.

That's, I had a Corvette for like a week. And I'm not a car guy, but the Camaro people or whatever the company that makes Corvette Chevy. They were like, hey, do you want to have a Corvette for a week? And we're like, yeah, sure, why not? Dude, it was so much fun to drive. See that, but that's so much fun to drive. But then I was like, I'd be an idiot that bought a Corvette.

Like, and everyone says, oh, you don't buy a Corvette. Like, you buy a fucking Ferrari. No, why can't you buy a Corvette? They're fun cars. There's new ones. No, pull it up. Dude, look up the 2020 Corvette. It looks like, look at that first image there.

Oh, yeah. That looks like a Ferrari. That's a beautiful car. Yeah. And look at that first image there. Oh, yeah. That looks like a Ferrari. That's a beautiful car. Yeah. And look at the price. It's fucking like, they start at 62 or 55 or something. Really? Yeah, it's an amazing ride.

We went, we went and looked at. Click that image below it. Look at that. Oh my God, that's beautiful. Kinda looks like an NSX. It kind of looks like a 458 Ferrari. It's a fucking Corvette. Yeah, but what do I look like in that?

Like if you're looking in that, you'd be like, oh, how little is his dick? No. Midlife crisis, Paul Rudd. What, Paul Rudd? Yeah, I'm watching a movie with the Rudd. He's gonna talk about this. You don't think that looks fucking amazing?

I look amazing. I just, like, I just, I'm picturing myself in it. Yeah, but no one knows it's you until you get out. No, everyone knows you, when you drive that car, everyone fucking looks at you. When you drive a Corvette, everyone looks at you. It's amazing how many people look at you and go like this.

Ugh. Yeah. That's all I got when I had a Corvette. Really? Where were you driving into it, just everywhere? Everywhere, I love that car. It's so much fun I'd wake up. They just hit you up and we're like do you want a car? Yeah You want to run a car that for and this is before social media

It's like before like not before social media, but before I was on social media and so like I now I bet I could definitely get a Corvette hey, what's your take on advertising on Instagram? Like if someone wanted to pay you say like like I don't know like some to post something on Instagram Would you do it? I guess it depends depends on what they wanted me to post and how much they were paying me to post it What what's your take I'm all for it? Are you getting approached? Yeah, I got me starting to. Once I hit a million, people started hitting me up and going like, hey man, would you be interested in advertising our product? And I'm like, it depends on the product, for sure.

Right, it doesn't matter at all. It's about abortion, they want me to be pro-abortion. Yeah. And it's like a million dollars. It's great. Yeah, get abortions. Yeah. Well, whatever.

That's fine. That's fine. Yeah, I started getting approached. As soon as you hit a million, it's crazy. Do you know, like, people like, like, I started getting approached. As soon as you had a million, it's crazy. Do you know like people that like, with like 50,000 people on Instagram to follow them, consider themselves influencers? Yeah.

Isn't that fucking insane and delusional? Is shit? No email from her, even though she texted. She group texted us. Yeah. Maybe she's not in a rush to get, maybe she or her rush was to get us our phone numbers. I'm a us. Yeah. Maybe she's not in a rush to get... Maybe she had her rush to get us our phone numbers. Um, a caller?

Yeah. All right. Guys, we're calling Molly. Oh, should we Face Timer? Whatever you want. Oh, that kind of Face Timer. We'll call her, here do you think she has blonde curly. Right.

A picture of her right there. Oh. How do you have a... How do you have her full name? She's one of my friends. She's not gonna FaceTime is a FaceTime from someone you don't oh hey Molly. Hey No, yeah, yeah, yeah, but we're not showing you. We're trying to guess what you're look look like. Here's Tom How are you? Your Tom has a lot of questions he wants to ask you. Hey. You're putter by the mics for people to hear.

Oh yeah. So we're super excited to connect with our fans. And we haven't gotten the, we're going to put this show out soon, but we haven't gotten the links. Like we got, we got the emails. No. We got the email that says like, I'll tell you what we got. We got the one that says, welcome to community,

but that's not enough, right? Or is that it? Yeah, that's enough, that's it. You just click the link that says, get the app. Get the app, okay. And then that's it, and it's like sign in here. Yeah, you just create a username and password, and then as soon as the app downloads,

you'll use that username and password that you created to log into that app and then you're ready to go. You be thick boy one, I'll be thick boy two. Okay. Alright. He's telling me things that we're going to do on our app. Okay. Well, and you got, you got to come to the app. Go ahead Molly.

You're going to be able to go into settings and that's where you can adjust your contact card photo, you can record a voicem's where you can adjust your contact card photo. You can record a voicemail. You can adjust that welcome messaging. So that auto reply that Didi sent, he actually wrote that himself. Am I allowed to use black excellence also? Is that just him? I don't ask him.

Okay. Black and Texam. Because now I have his number. Okay. Yeah. Cool. Call me if you have any other questions. Link should work until you each create your own username and password. number. Okay, yeah. Okay. Okay. And I don't think I don't think we'll want to change. We

won't want to change our photo IDs. No, no, don't change our photos. They're really good. You sent up photos? Oh, that's really nice. Tell Ash to nice at high. Wait, do you know Ashton? Of course. You actually know Ashton Kutcher? I introduced community to Ashton Kutcher. Oh, shut up. I'm the reason this all happened, guys.

So wait, okay. Does he still look beautiful? Yeah, he's going to be shaped as mustache. I think he looks better with the mustache. Hit a mustache? Can you tell that he's aging at all? Not really, no. For real? For real, it's crazy.

Wait, ask her one thing. What's the part you said you can adjust things in? Where do you adjust it? Once you get the apps and log in, you go to settings. Just click the little three bars at the upper left hand corner and you'll see settings. Do I do step one or step one view in the app store? Step one view in the app store. Do you have test flight downloaded on your phone Tom?

Yeah. Yeah. Great. And yes, view in the app store is what it should be or just get the app. It should just start the download. Hmm. What you need to do is go into the meeting tomorrow, Molly, and be like, be like, uh, this is the part I want. what do I put in here? It says redeem your code. Oh my god we're doing a podcast we're basically setting fine it's fine and go back into the email and then you click the button that says get the app it should start the app download on your on your home screen let me know if it doesn't. download on your on your home screen. Let me know if it doesn't.

Hey, now, so how often do you see Aston? Used to be almost every day. Wow, how beautiful is that? It's nice. Our offices were like directly across each other as a treadmill desk just like walking on it all day long. How much do you think you ways? Like a hundred a hundred that stop there. Stop there a Like a hundred. A hundred. Stop there. Stop there. A hundred. A hundred. Shut up. Does he? Is he? Is he? As he ages, is he getting smarter? I think so. Do you think? Does he say bro at all? Okay, he says bro. Is this how your brain works? Does he drink? I know that he has I mean I didn't interview him one time and he was talking about he like to build decks and have high-necks Yeah, I mean we've had drinks together, but no he doesn't get drunk and say an appropriate shit No, okay Molly Molly one more question about Aston

Will you go into the meeting tomorrow and go guys big news? We just landed both bears No, you don't understand our engineers and slap right now are freaking out over real I put your names in I submitted you guys for numbers and our engineers like oh my god your names and I submitted you guys for numbers and our engineers like oh my god we got Burton Tom oh my god they're pretty good. Wait who's the who's the biggest client you guys have in your opinion and you can't be asked in. I mean Jennifer Lopez is pretty. JLo.

JLo. JLo is so fucking hot. Our she was an asshole to uh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Tom has a question about JLo

my bus driver said she was an asshole my bus driver said the same thing she is very sweet to me the times that i've interacted with her she is so fucking hot she is so like she glows or as gold okay Tom is another fucking question look I got a question Molly I keep getting this I it's just says step one get

test flight view an app store what am I supposed to do I'm looking at test flight right here it's on my phone yeah yeah right here it's on my phone. Is that your son? Yeah, it's very cute photo. Did you already create a username and password that hasn't happened yet? I just did it, yeah. You just did it. So then let me just text you guys the link to download directly the app one second.

Okay, well you do this. Do you know Mela at all? I do. Mela is even better than Mela. She is. For real? Yes. Hey, will you do me a favor? Will you put the machine story in front of Mela? Because she's Russian.

And just be like, hey, I thought you'd like this. It involves your people. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, just be like, yo, it's a funny thing about Russian things. And I thought you'd like it. And then be like, and then be like, is it just me or is this guy cute with a shirt off and then just see what she says and then you have my number Obviously text me let me know

Contact card photo that you sent me oh yeah, yeah, yeah sender toms to Click on that directly and I should start to download on your phone. Where did you go to college? Yeah Wait, I go to college. Yeah, wait, let's guess. I'm gonna guess USC. Tom. What do you guess? Stanford She's silicone Valley for Silicon Valley. Where did you go to school? Harvard hard hard hard hard Hey, can I ask you something Molly? Do you kind of feel like are you like? Is it like a quiet flex every time you get to say Harvard?

You know what? It's one of these things where it's like kind of embarrassing each time you want to meet the CEO of community. This is Matt Yo, what's up, Matt? Stop you dickhead. Hey What's RIT and Rochester? Molly with a Harvard Top your dickhead hey Hey, man, where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you go to college? What's RIT and Rochester? Marley with a Harvard I guess doing we're doing great. We're do you have any questions about asking coocher? No, I'll just text them. It's cool. Don't you have his number? Community. Oh, community uh...

Alright, I'm gonna start fucking hounding ass to be like yo bro, I'm in your neighborhood, no thanks. Hey man, I got my swimsuit, my back and my trunk, I wanna go swimming. I think that dude's literally responded to like 12,000 people directly using the animal. Yeah, it's crazy. What's the... hey! Can I ask you something? Yeah. I mean, what is the fucking point?

Like, do you get anything out of it other than like, oh, hey, I'm connecting with some fucking fuckhead fan? Like, is there any point to it? Talkin' your microphone. Well, you know, I think about like, you know, why did you create a podcast? Oh, I just, I, I just logged in and I just got to see my profile picture. It's great, right?

Okay. Thanks, man. That's great. It's great. So so media is continuing the conversation with your fans that you wanna have with the people you and I like. Like, Jeff Tweedie, if you guys can get Wilko on this and there's a way I can connect with Jeff Tweedie, you, why?

Oh, because I'm a dad. Are we talking about dad rock right now? Yeah. Okay, maybe we'll get the, I thing of a who I love fish fuck are you making fun of me now I didn't realize that yeah and yeah and guy by the way I saw Dave Matthews recently and he still holds up okay that's why I got it where you guys in Santa Monica?

yeah hey guys I actually really appreciate it. I signed up. I'm on now. I'm gonna pump it black excellence Yeah, think about it as you now owning the relationship with your audience rather than Facebook owning it or Twitter owning it or Google owning it Yeah, it's just you okay sure I'll ask her Tom Tom wants to know Kenny send dick pics Yeah, it's just you okay sure I'll ask her Tom Tom wants to know Kenny send dick pics Tastes fully set tasteful Like Dick Cheney or like Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, just different digs good call. That's a good one going

Hey, uh, you know what we would love we would love to have Ashton come on two bears one cave and talk about this act if he's interested. All right, we'll text him about it. Yeah. We're Mela. Actually, we'd rather Mela if we could. Are you guys in LA or? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like, we're actually in the building next to you guys.

Look over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, still like you're right. We're not going to door. We don't trust the alley. All right, we're doing a podcast. We'll call you guys later, yeah, yeah, still like you're right. They're not going to door. We don't trust the alley. Yeah, all right, we're doing a podcast. We'll call you guys later, okay? Okay, go Harvard. Go Harvard, I went there for you.

Um, Molly's cute. Yeah, she's very cute. Really cute. She would, she would run circles around me at her first date. You got to be a nightmare. If we won on a first date, do you realize how out of my league I'd be talking to a girl? I mean, I feel like the phone call was a good summary of that. Yeah, that I just hown to do about Aston. I do won on a first date, do you realize how out of my league I'd be talking to a girl earlier? I mean, I feel like the phone call

was a good summary of that. Yeah, that I just hown to do about Aston. I do that the whole first date. Is that what you were like to Leanne? No. I don't remember. Leanne and I went to a gay restaurant on our first date. What do you mean?

It was a gay restaurant. Like Lorenzo set us up and he didn't want us to work. So he liked her? Yeah, he had a car center too. And so he sent me to a gay restaurant thinking that would like throw my game, but Eddie Isard was there. And I was watching Eddie Isard the whole time.

We just talked about Eddie Isard the whole time. Who's that? Eddie Isard's guy, he ran like a hundred marathons. He's like, is the cross-dressing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if that's a hate crime, but hate crimes. I don't know, I can't even notice anymore. He's the guy that dresses like a girl. That's right. I think he's trans. I don't know if that's a hate crime, but hate crime. I don't know, I can't even know what's saying anymore. He's the guy that dresses like a girl.

That's right. I think he's trans. I don't know he's transgendered. No, no, no Eddie. Go to the wiki. We could go back on that. It's kind of interesting, you know. I'm not trying to throw shade towards Eddie Isard,

but it's kind of interesting because he just looks like a mom. Yeah. Like you tell it, like I, at that age, I'd be like, I guess I'll just be a guy because I'm not gonna look like a hot chick. Yeah, 57. Yeah, now it actually, it looks like a friend's mom. Yeah, it looks like he's like, lives in Wisconsin.

Yeah. And you kind of wanna be like, you know what? He's sure that friends mom. Like, your mom kind of looks like a guy, a little bit Yeah, he looks like he'd be at a Republican convention mom like he'd be like Well now Eddie's running for office too shut up. Yeah scroll down scroll down Dude, he's an interesting fucking guy. He

See campaign for various causes 43 marathons in 51 days Unfuck with no history of long distance running That is fucking insane. I ran six miles today and I've been working out great Imagine you on a date with Eddie how fucking that intense would that be dude? He um Well, okay, wait click personal life click five um, I think he's it's he transgendered or just like yeah Well, okay, wait, click personal life, click five. I think he's, is he transgendered? Or just like? Yeah, says, is it his transgender right there, right? So wait, did, scroll more?

Calling himself somewhat boyish, somewhat girlish. But he's been doing this for years, and it wasn't a stunt, I think a lot of people thought it was a stunt, like to get ticket sales. You know, like the way someone would take their shirt off or whatever. Nothing about dating though. You know, I think you can be transgendered,

but still date. No, I'm just saying no date, like no, there's no thing like he has. He identifies as a transvestite, oh in 1992. So wait, is transvestite a word you don't say anymore? What's the definition of transvestite? Who's shit? Google transvestite, I'm curious.

Because that was what the word was when I was a kid, right? Yeah it was. But is it because the bite makes it sound like a hate crime? Did they jot rid of it? Logan, it looks like it's dressing primarily. Yeah, you can actually say it. Oh, you just kind of worded it to yourself Do you want to say it out loud now

Give her to those SSMRs. I don't like that shit doesn't do anything for me. How about Dr. Pinoi? That I like a lot, but sometimes I want to puke Dude never I could you're so gross though. I tell you. That fucking holes on the foot thing. I want to fucking kill myself when I see it. Oh my god. I have been obsessed with Dr. Pimple Popper.

She, if I could get her to give me a blackhead, so she'd extract it, I'd do it. Really? It'll heartbeat. Do you, do you pop pimples like do you take your time with it and really look at, watch it? I don't get pimples. Ever? Never. Why do you take your time with it really look at watch it? I don't get pimples ever never

Why do you like the holes on the hands? I have no fucking idea. Oh my god. I just found Mango fly bites and dogs type in mango flies Oh, you know what this is. Oh my god. This is This is my mango worm. Is that it? Oh my god. oh my God, go to the popping, go to the popping. Oh my God, this fucking video, I watched this video. This is my obsession. It's that thing in real life, mango worm removal. Oh my, come on, play it, what are you waiting for it off?

Mango worm removal. Oh my God, look at this Tom, Tom, it leaves the holes on my talking about fucking sick. Oh, this leaves the holes on the top. I feel fucking sick. Oh, this is the greatest thing ever I watch this in the car or in the bus. Yeah, just go right there, watch. Watch. Oh.

What is this? These are in a dog and what happened? And it got bit by a mango fly I think and it leaves worms. All right. And then watch, but wait, watch. First of all, this guy don't wearing a fucking glove He's from south look at that it leaves all the holes that I was talking about

She's wearing a glove. She's super happy about it too, and there's this is their dog and they just come out from everywhere All right, I'm good. I'm good. Oh my god. I'm good. I and I were watching Dr. Pimple popper together on on YouTube And we could not put it away Tom I went in and woke her up and I was like, there's one more, you gotta see this one, I love. Dude, I am obsessed with Dr. Pimpura. Okay, so I found the Tobro. Tobro's a guy that does the same thing, but for feet. Dude, have you ever seen a corner removal? No.

Oh my God, I had a corner, I didn't even know it was a corner. I thought it was a planter's work. And then I dug it out, one day I got out, I dug it out. I dug it out one day. I was like, I'm gonna go out and do it. I'm gonna, I had a corner. I didn't even know it was a corner. I thought it was a planter's work. And then I dug it out. One day I got out.

We were dug it out. We went, we went, uh, catfish, Newtlin, and I had my feet were wet all day. And I got in the van, we were on, this one I was on the floor. How did you get a corn? I think by... Moisture?

No, I think it's, it's basically a callus, but it's in a place where you're not getting support on your foot, and it just rubs and rubs and rubs, and it starts, it plants like a seed almost, and then that seed kind of forms this callus that's really painful. And so I had a corn on the front of my foot, like right here on my foot,

and we went craftless noodling, and I went, and my foot was like super, super pruned and I just took a knife and dug it out and I removed it myself. I thought it was a planner's work. It's like you should pull, try to pick out planner's work. Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't like, that's a part of your personality.

I think that you're lying about. What do you think I'm lying about? That you don't smell things on your body and you don't like dirty things? No, I do like dirty things, but I don't like. Do you have pimples? Yeah, but not like a crazy amount. But I do like it.

I would enjoy popping a pimple. I enjoy like when you see it and you get to go to the mirror and you fucking see it shoot out. I do like that. I told Georgia and I were talking about best pimple pop ever. Do you have one pimple pop that stands out to you? Like I have two. Fifth grade, one on my chin. And I was in the back in my mom's station wagon

I had the mirror between my legs and I squeezed it and it shot on the mirrors the first time I was it shot on a mirror And I was like what the fuck yeah, I remember shooting the mirror does not hold a candle to Softball year in college. I had a pimple on the inside of my nose right in here And it was so bad that it was swollen and I was having a hard time breathing to sophomore year in college. I had a pimple on the inside of my nose right in here. And it was so bad that it was swollen and I was having a hard time breathing. It was that swollen and I was, and you can see it was red on the outside of my nose.

Okay. Okay, no, no, no, no. And so I grabbed it like this and I started squeezing it, seeing if I could squeeze it on the other side and a hair shut out. Just went, blink and I was like, oh my God, oh my God. I pulled the hair out squeezed it and it

hose the mirror it went on the other side of my nose dude if I could have one of those a month I would be so fucking happy really dude at one time I live with these two lesbians in New York and I still have a little hole on my back. Oh! I got one like on my ass crack. And I went to a doctor and I was like, what's going on? And he was like, yeah, it's infected. Take this antibiotic. You were taking antibiotic for a pimple?

It was like a big fucking pussy thing. And I was like, who's sensitive, it hurts? Well, I felt that building for a few days, and then I went to bed, and the next morning I woke up, it had ruptured and dried. And your sheets were stuck to your ass? Well, my boxers were now crusty,

because the blood in the pus had oh dried up on the boxers All the pain was gone, but I wish I could have seen it, but it was like oh my god It was pretty it was pretty cool. See if I can find something similar to show you You know a lot of those times I had I had a pimple on my ass crack when I was at the Remember the time they said I threw up all over the walls and shittled the bed at the Cincinnati funny bone? Mm. Yeah, tell us the same weekend.

I had a pimple on my tailbone and I Googled it. They're like some people, it's a tail. Like some people were born with a tail. Yeah. And I was like, I was terrified. I was growing a tail all fucking weekend. But then I sat on the toilet too fast and it popped What are you looking for a picture of your yes, I was similar

On your tailbone. Yeah I'll look for it later Are you about to join did you downloading? I haven't even started giving our numbers one more time I've you kept trying you just keep our numbers up the whole time. Have you already done that? And I'm just saying that, and you've just been popped up all the whole time. I'll go download it right now.

Right, yeah, put my phone number up, please. We've got almost, oh, welcome to community. Will you read them again, the phone numbers? Yep, our phone numbers. Mine's 818-275-5526. And mine is 323-208-0844. I bet Aston's got the best fucking number. Yeah.

Like, 28000-000. So, we're pretty much gonna have A in Kuchon on a podcast. I think it feels like it's gonna happen. I think we should make the exception to have a guest on this show. I know we were just talking about that today. Yeah. Well, definitely have asked him on. Here, let me record this for Instagram. Instagram.

Instagram. Instagram. Yeah. I thought we were all on phone numbers now. Hey guys, Bert and I are doing two bears one cave. You know, I've always wanted to find a way to connect with my fans more. And I'm like, how do I stay connected to them? You know, you can text me. I was like, I should give out my phone number.

And then that way all my fans can just text me one. 3, 2, 3, 2, 8. That's your number. Oh, wait, 4, 4. Call me. I'm at 818-275-5526. It gives me more joy than the idea of texting my fans. Nothing it gives you more joy than the idea of texting my fans 818 275 5526 hashtag black excellence What's up, diddy I'll hit you back in a minute All right, I'ma hit you back in a minute. You know she didn't write that song really? That kind of bum you out that song so her and then to think that some

White Jewish kid wrote it some dude named Ari In the men of soda Vikings You're shirtless now. I know I know what are you down to I below 230 you said 330 when you got I know because I'm so used to it. Oh, yeah so You said 330 when you got I know because I'm so used to it. Oh, yeah So here's something just a reminder to people if at the end of the month you're 205 you win sober October Yeah, well, I mean pages have you read? I'm reading a book on Uber and I'm about like maybe 40 pages in yeah, I've just yeah all these reading I just like maybe 40 pages in. Yeah, I've just, yeah. All these reading, I just, I'm gonna read the rest

of it on the plane when I, on the plane to DC this weekend. Ooh, this weekend I'm in Virginia Beach, Baltimore, Montclarney, Jersey, and Huntington, New York. I have a Europe. Oh. So if you wanna come to a show, the only show left with tickets, Paris. And Paris?

Yeah, I'm doing a small place there that's where's tickets available. And then London release tickets. There's only a few left for that show. It's a big show. You can get tickets to that. And then when I come back, November 6th, Kingston, New York, November 7th, New York City, the late show at the Beacon has tickets. November 8th, the Late Show at Parks Casino

in Ben Salem and November 10th in Syracuse and then it's on the tour or to a special week. Oh shit. Yeah. My special is November 23rd of thinking about adding two shows on the 24th in Cleveland. So keep your eyes peeled if we add those shows but yeah, I'm already done like six there. What? You already have like,

five seven shows right now. In Cleveland? Yeah, so I'm gonna think about two more. Yeah, but it's not that big of a theater. It's only like a thousand seats. And if you're doing a special, you got a bunch of kills. So it's actually fairly doable. This guy, look at this guy, you're an all modest.

Yep, and then, yeah, I'm on the road, burperperper.com, Body Shots World Tour. And by the way, secret time, I am adding club dates on Tuesdays Wednesdays and Mondays in November So check in November in November. I'm gonna be doing stand up every single day until my special I'ma hit you back in a minute All right, there it is love you love you guys. Bye guys Love you guys bye guys the booze amateur, patology, dirty jokes, ronti humor, no apologies. Here's what we call, two bears one cake.