2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 105 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: November 1, 2021

Become a paid channel member of YMH to experience an AD-FREE version of the show here : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg/join SPONSORS: - Get 25% off when you go to https://LiquidIV.com and use code BEARS at checkout - Be the big winner this holiday season with a gift from MVMT. Go to https://MVMT.COM/CAVE! Join the MOVEMENT! - Go to https://saatva.com/theshit for $200 off your order - Go to https://GetSuperLeaf.com/bears and use promo code BEARS for 40% off your entire order for the month of November - Go to https://ShipStation.com and use the code CAVE to get a 60 day free trial - Get 15% off your order at https://BuyRaycon.com/bears - Head to https://PolicyGenius.com/CAVE to get started right now. Policygenius. When it comes to insurance, it’s nice to get it right. - Check out https://FIVERR.com and receive 10% off your first order by using the code CAVE And we're back in G-Bay Studios in Austin with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer and Bert is ON one, coming in hot with some cocktails! Bert is still on the fence if he has serious neurology problems, tries to give another history lesson about the Middle East trouble makers, and Bert shares his new found love, Starbucks Reserve! Bert realizes he can make his own coffee infused alcoholic beverages and starts experimenting! After Tom talks about the cigar lounge he tried out on the road, Bert realizes who much better Tom is at touring than he is. Tom suggests Bert should get someone to drive him around, which tail spins into Bert wanting to be sponsored by a Hooter Jet. Do Hooters still have jets? Bert talks about when he hung out with NFL quarterback of the Green Bay Packers, Aaron Rodgers and we get a quick update on the weight loss!

The picture of you in a really small remake Packers jersey? Uh, yeah. And, you know, I saw that and you know what immediately came to mind. What? Season 2 of Love on the Spectrum is back. Like, as soon as I saw it, I was like, I gotta watch that show again. 100% I gotta watch that show again. 100%

I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, you. I'm a, I'm a, you. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, you. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, you. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I feel weird about, like, when you, like, if you, when you have, you've have, you fuck strangers, right? Yeah, I have. Yeah. When, do you ever say like, can I come inside you to a stranger?

You just give a throw up? I'm trying to think. You know, I think I said I'm going to. I'm not asking you, I'm telling. Oh, that's my favorite thing I did during the movie. I'm not asking you, I'm telling! Oh, that's my favorite thing I did during the movie. I learned very quickly when you deal with socialist people, you don't ask you to tell.

Yeah. That's fucking hilarious. Wait, you came with someone during the movie? No, no, no, no. No, I would, uh... It would be weird to come in someone new. Like so? Yeah.

It would be weird to come in someone new. Like to come in, I have to pull out. I'd have to pull out. How come? I don't know. I feel weird about, like, even when I come in the end, I go like, I, I, I, this end is going to sound very creepy and I am drunk.

Okay. But, um, I feel safe. It sounds so silly. I feel safe. Like her flaws make me feel even more safe too. Her physical flaws? Physical flaws. Yeah, physical flaws. Yeah, physical flaws. It makes me feel safe when I come inside. It makes me feel safe when I come inside my wife. And if you feel as somebody new, you were like, I'm coming on you. No, second I came inside them,

I'd be like, this was a bad thing. How come? Because I'd be like, if I pulled out, I'd be like, okay, for that happened. Yeah. But if I came inside them, I'm like, I'm not, I don't feel so safe with this person. And I just blew a fucking load inside them.

It's so funny, I think I'm having fucking, I think I need to go to a doctor. I'm gonna be talking to any more. Cheers, try a dirty girl. Yeah. Wait, what is this? So this is, so the guys at Rec Tech going to stop the grills for my tour. Yeah, and they have this drink it's called a transfusion.

It's a dirty girl and then I have one. Any are you trying one? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'm trying to give it to us and it doesn't feel like alcohol and it just tastes like ghouly. And it's so fucking good. It is alcohol. It is alcohol but you can drink a hundred of them and not feel like buzzed Like it's not a lot about quality. I don't think just try it. Okay Takes great, right? I don't think you can get them everywhere. That is that's pretty good

I'm not even certain you can get them outside of the gusza Georgia But but that is damn good. Wait, hold on man. Yeah, right. How much alcohol is in that? I need my glasses. Holy shit. What is in this? Can I tell you? I used to like the orgasm pulling out was almost is almost better than coming inside someone. You think so? I actually think so. Not the first time. Not the first time. The first time you come inside someone, it is a pretty great orgasm. You're like, no, you think you're gonna let me do that. But I almost missed the like, oh god, it started, you know?

Yeah, and that kind of reckless, like it's just gonna go everywhere, feeling is fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, oh, this is just gonna end your stomach and you're like, oh, it's on your forehead. Oh, that's crazy. Oh, that's right, you got range. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, oh, this is just gonna end your stomach and you're like, oh, it's on your forehead. Oh, what? Oh, that's right, you got range. Yeah.

I'm just basically pubes. I was like, sorry, I know that's gonna be a rough cleanup. You're gonna have to often just shower, but that's like getting in about, how much alcohol's in there? I can't tell, I don't see anything. It says 7%. 7% is that a lot?

Yes. It tastes good though, right, Annie? I mean, it tastes like there's no alcohol. Yeah, you said you could drink a hundred of these and not get drunk. We went to the tech day before the lie. No, it's not. We went to Rectech before the...

I feel like this track suite's not flattering. We went to Rectech before the show in Augusta and picked up a couple smokers. And they gave us these dirty girls and we drank a ton. They had a blast and then went back, took a nap, woke up, didn't even feel like I had a buzz. Didn't even, didn't even feel like I had a buzz. I gotta tell you something, I think you do that a lot.

What? Drink, take a nap and you're like, everything's fine. Yeah, work out, put some work in, go to go to buy yourself. Yeah, yeah. I think if you work out it out, it clears it all up. I started lifting weights again. Good for you. Yeah, I started lifting weights yesterday.

And then my first, it was awesome. I'll tell you my workout. Okay. I ran the stairs and then ran the top of the parking garage. I did probably 20 minutes of running because I was lifting weights. I was like 20 minute run. Then I went down, I did front row raises, side row raises, and then like these things,

we were like this, then I did 20 lunges, 20 squats, and 12 lunges, 12 squats, 20 step ups, under the butt step, I went up and down, and then I did 100 curls, but with three pounds. Okay. Yeah, because we're just trying, and by the way, my arm actually hurt today. What, 100 reps, I mean. And that crazy. Do you do multiple sets of that?

I did, yeah, I did four, four, four, four, four. Look, that's great, man. And so, but it was, I gotta be honest with you, I felt like a million bucks when I got done, and then even this morning to fill my arm be sore. The soreness feels good. Ah, it feels so good. And then I wondered how many times

I've lifted weights and actually hurt myself. Like just like, remember when you were in high school and they were like, all right, welcome to football. We're doing a hundred push ups today. And then you do them the next day, your tits are on fire and you're like, I think I pulled all my ligaments. Yeah.

That happened to me a lot. Yeah. So, do you think, here's what I want to know. Do you think you will lift weights again? Yeah, 100%. Yeah, 100 weights again? Yeah, 100%. Yeah, 100%. 100%. Yeah, 100%.

Wait, so, do you think it'll be like six months from now? No, it'll be, you know what I'm doing today. What? You ready for this? And I have been drinking all day already, okay. Why don't we clue everyone to what time it is, where we're at, and where I've been. It's, what time is it?

It's 130. 130, you call me last night, you're like, I'm getting you a private jet. I don't care about money. You're like, I'm getting you a private jet. You're like, let me, let me throw my Rolexes into the closet. No, so I got flew in today.

I drank on the plane. Yeah. I got in today. We got, we went to bed at three. I woke up at six. Panic attacks. Yeah, I do. They're back. And so, that's maybe from the drinking though. No, I woke up at six. Pantica tax. Yeah, I do, they're back.

And so, but that's maybe from the drinking though. No, no, no, no, no, it's, it's, it's, it's because I've been gone for so long. And so I'm like, a little like rudderless. Okay. So I got in the shower and then I got out and then I, I got in the shower, hey, accountability buddy, guess what? I went to wipe my ass and I reached it, super easy.

And I went, oh, lose my weight. That reached it super easy and I went oh Lose your weight. That's good. I feel good. I got out. I started like stretching I did like a whole thing of stretches and I was like okay. I'm feeling good and panic attacks went away to a shower Started drinking flu here My workout today you ready for it. We're doing this in the in the... in the... in the hotel room. Okay. Unless you want a party tonight. No, no.

Do you want to go get a scar set at a scar bar? Yeah. What are you doing tonight? Resting. You just got home. Yeah, I'm exhausted. You look it. Thank you.

Why do you look exhausted? You don't do anything. What do you mean? Like, what are you exhausted from? I just did... I did seven shows. I worked out every day. What did I mean to? Keep going? Uh seven shows. I work out every day. What did I mean to keep going?

Yeah, I went out every night. You did go out every night. I want to talk about that. Put a pin in that. I want to talk about that. Here's my workout today. So 20 minutes of lunges tonight. Okay.

That's roughly 300 to 400 lunges. Then four rounds of tensed-ups, 10 leg lifts, 20 flutter kicks, and that's my workout today. Okay, who designed this for you? You're a trainer? Leasing my trainer. And I felt fucking, I felt so rudderless without working out.

And I know that, I mean, last night I said, I was just taking a jog today and everyone started laughing and I was like, it's like, you assholes actually know I jog. But like, my body, that's what my body looks like right now. It's rough. Yeah. Oh, it's rough. It's like, it's doing good in the Midwest,

but when I go to Florida, he's like, thank you, Peoria, Su City, Cedar Rapids, and Green Bay. You seem like a regular guy. I actually look like I'm in mental health. And then when I'm in Florida next week, they're gonna be like, my friends in Florida are gonna be like, oh, yeah, it's bad man, it doesn't look great.

And so, what do you up to? I was my second heaviest I've ever been. And that was a week ago. When I was here, and we talked about my weight, I was the second heaviest I've ever been in that was a week ago when I when I was here and we talked about my my weight Yeah, I was the second heaviest. I've ever been in my life 254 And I think not right now, but I think like morning wake up is when I wait myself with that says you know You should be your lightest. Yeah, that was 254 I

Think right now at my morning wake up. I welcome in the morning. I think I'm in the 240s because I'm reaching my ass pretty well That's so that's how I that's how I can tell and I'm jogging okay, and I am working out So that was only a week ago. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah What are we talking about? You work out tonight and your friend. Oh, I've been feeling rudderless without being able to lift weights Yeah, there's something all because you stopped because the arm. Yeah, and I think there's something about weight lifting that allows you to kind of, running is different.

Running is kind of like a thing where you do it, and you go, I'll do, it's a finite thing, where even when you get started, you're like, maybe I'll do one more mile. It's almost like, but lifting weights is like, you get it on a piece of paper, or at least when I get it on a text of what my workout is, I go, okay, let's just do it. Let's just get through it. And then you do it and you feel really good.

It's a good sense of accomplishment. It's a great sense of accomplishment. It also like really, I don't know, it kind of kicks out the, you know, it really has an effect on your stress level. Like you can feel it dissipate. I called the am. I was in such a great mood when I finished, I understand, the bicep girls with three pound weights. Yeah. I felt good that I was following instruction, because I didn't want to do 10 pound weights. I was like, I can do 10 pounds.

Because you're instructed to keep it at three. Yeah, and so I did three pound weights. And I just did them. And then this morning my arm felt a little weird. And I was like, oh shit man, I am hurt. Like I am. I didn't realize how fucked up a certain, we talked about this last time, right? How traumatic a surgery, no, I talked about this in therapy. Oh, I didn't realize how traumatic a surgery is.

Yeah. And then you look at, just the idea of going under, coming out, they almost kill you and then wake you back up and you've been opened up. Like it's such a traumatic experience that I don't think I put perspective on it. You get done it and I wonder how many people would get it done and then, oh by the way,

fucking I got to wait, lost advice from a woman today who was like, I was, she was like, I lost 150 pounds and I was like, really? How'd you do it? She goes drink and water, cut out diet coaks, cut out sodas, cut out all sweets. Oh, and I got lap band surgery. And I was like, cunt.

I was like, fucking start with lap band surgery. Yeah, leave a chat. And I don't want to hear a fucking word out of your mouth. Yeah. I didn't think I realized how traumatic. Wait, oh my god. Did you see that? I don't want to be easy on that. Did you see that? Oh my god

Bees under the 250 mark break the seat Shit get him get it back up 50 mark Oh shit There I wait okay How is your weekend? Oh, that's good. Yeah Tell me the stuff you did Because I saw it on your Instagram yeah, other than you sitting in the stairs Tell Sean. Tell Sean. Sean's my photographer.

All of them know, hey man, can we stop doing head shots? You know why he does it though. No, I do. I totally know. You hired him and he's like, hey man, let's bang on some head shots. No, he's not head shots. There's only so many ways of photograph your performance.

And they're creative guys and he's like, he's like, oh, here's the light. I want to do this. By the way, it's not a bad photo. It just, it's like, it looks like, oh, here's the light, I wanna do this. Yeah, by the way, it's not a bad photo. It's just, it's like, it looks like a mix tape's gonna drop, I know. Yeah, well, we saw it and I was like, and I think Steve Fury goes,

why was Tom in the stairwell? And I was like, and I was like, and I was like, I think he moved him to the stairwell and he was like, oh yeah, cause I was like, there's a green room, I wouldn't be sitting there. It was like, he walked up on you on the stairwell, like, what's up?

What's up, man? Yeah, it made me giggle. I could not stop laughing. I'm taking pictures in stairwells ever since. Really? Oh, yeah. You want to see one? There's a picture of you in a really small remake

Packers jersey. Yeah. And I saw that, and you know what, it immediately came to mind. What? Season two of Love on the Spectrum is back. And you know, I saw that and you know what immediately came to mind. What? Season two of Love on the Spectrum is back. Like as soon as I saw it.

I was like, I gotta watch that show again. Do you know the guy, Clinton Dix? How high Clinton Dix? Yeah. Yeah. He tweeted it. He did? Yeah.

He was like, it looks good to me. I was like, that's what I'm fucking talking about. Dude, fucking Green Bay was a blast. Green Bay was like, and I don't mean to like, take away from all the other cities that I was in this weekend. But Green Bay was like, oh, highlight. Really? You know, it's hard to believe.

It's what's- I've been to Green Bay. I think a lot of people feel that way, but what's hard to believe. It's, it's, it's, it's been the green bag. I think a lot of people feel that way, but it was interesting to me is you've seen, I've seen Lambo field so much on television that when I woke up in the morning and I got out of the bus and I saw Lambo field. Yeah. And it was right there. It wasn't like, yeah, even when you see it from the aerial, it seems like it's like

surrounded by fences. Yeah. Now, I've driven by Lambo and it is, you know, it's like surrounded by fences. Yeah. Now I've driven by a Lambo and it is impressive. And then we got a text from the Packers and they're like, Hey man, do you want a private tour of Lambo? And we're like 100%. Yeah. And it was just so cool.

And it's by the way, it looks brand new. Yeah. And you think it's, and you know, it's, what I found really interesting is the first round of seats are the original seats, right? And then the next round was the next round of seats are the original seats, right? And then the next round was the next round they built, and then they just kept building up

and making it better and better. And it's a gorgeous stadium. And to go in and go, we went and saw the visitors locker room, and then we went to the box seats, and then we went down on the field. It was like, it was so cool. And you forget there's so many places like that.

Like what stadiums you'd like to see a game at What what are your top like in the like because what's the one in South Carolina? Just South Clemson. What's Clemson's Clemson's like the death bowl or something? Death Valley They have their own I saw I saw a game there and it was the worst experience of my life It was so fucking hot really it was the hottest day in my life. It was so fucking hot. Really? It was the hottest day I've ever had in my life. I think in college, I mean, I definitely want to go to I'd love to go to an LSU game I'd love to go to a game in Alabama and Tuscaloosa. I'd love to go to Penn State mission. Of course, of course Ohio State Ohio State, we've done the Rose Bowl. You know, I've never actually been to a game in Tallahassee. I'd love to go to a game there.

Where's the first guy next week? Um, I got invited a few years ago to go to the floor of Florida State game. The Thanksgiving weekend game. I couldn't go. They invited me. They're like, oh, give you, like, sitting the president's suite and all this shit. And I couldn't go. Oh my God.

I would have gone on a heartbeat. Yeah, I know. I would have gone on a fucking heart. Yeah, I know. I would have gone on a fucking hard. Where could you go? I fucking stupid family. Fuck them. They're not around forever. They go to college. They'll be gone. They don't even care about you. I would like to see a game in in Revyfield. Yeah, never seen a game in Revyfield. I went to Fenway. I saw a game there. I'd like to go to Fenway. I've never seen a game with Fenway. I'd like to go to Wembley Stadium. Is that where they play the soccer matches? Is in England? Yeah. Yeah. I'd like to see that some of those. I'd like to go to some of the,

it would be cool to go to iconic stadiums. Yeah. I go see Wimbleton. Like that. I'd love to see Wimbleton. I would love to see the Masters. We were in Augusta and we saw where they hold it. I'd love to go to a Masters tournament. So I got a drunk on stage last night. It is? I got legit drunk on stage. What city was it? Su City. I got legit drunk on stage for the second show. And I had a drink on the first show.

You know what it is? I don't know if you ever felt this way, but you get like the beginning into your act and you're like, you're like, I feel like I'm in wrote. Like I feel I'm not being creative. I'm just doing the same fucking thing. Yeah. And I done that a couple times,

I got through it and I was like, and then the second, for a show to last time, I was like, no, I'm not gonna do this. I want it to be fun for me and them. Yeah. And so I had to drink. I said, let's fucking have a little cocktail. I had a drink and then I enjoyed it

and we had a really great first show. And you changed it up. I changed it up. Like what happens for me is if I drink on stage, this is not, I mean, I'm not giving anyone comedy advice, but like if anyone's young and listening, sometimes if you get drunk and go on stage, you will fuck your act up and you'll force yourself

to write in the moment. If you're in wrote, if you're doing the same act, every fucking night, get drunk one night. Go on stage with that same act. You will fuck it up and you'll force yourself to write in the moment. So that's what I do sometimes. So in the second show, I went up with a drink

and I just started drinking to me. They had a second one on the day. I had three drinks by the end of the show, three drinks, and I had so much fucking fun. Just hammered. Yeah, although I said a couple regrettable things where they were like, where you're like, ah, what about, ah, someone, I don't know. Well, of course some guy in the back's like, what about someone, I don't know.

Well, of course some guy in the back is like, Bert, fuck your Biden, right? And I'm like, man, I don't fucking. You know, it's like, I don't do that to me. I know your camera's out, I know that. And then that becomes, so I just like, I was like, whatever dude, whatever. I love that.

That's definitely your crowd. Hey, fuckface, that's your crowd too. You think we have different fucking crowds. Yes Really really you think your crowds don't grow beards Who's watching the show that goes I just go to see Tom There's different people that got a different show though. Yeah, yeah, I got a definitely got a fuck Joe Biden I got a and then one guy goes hey Hey Bert, would you kill Baby Hitler? And my answer just if recorded will not come out right.

Cause I was like, no, I would never kill a baby. I go, I killed Hitler's dad, cause I think he was the problem of the root of everyone's cause that everyone was like, interesting. I think everyone just wanted to be like, I'd fuck that baby in the ass. Yeah, yeah. I'd be like, yeah, I'd fucking kill Baby Hitler the ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I fucking kill baby Hitler

But whatever so like that was something I said that I'm sure that one of your bits. No No, is that an old bit that you'd fuck babies you fuck Sure, I've said that I'm almost certain I've said that okay But yeah, so so that was like But yeah, so that was like, I was one of the things I said. And then I said something, I have a joke that I'm not gonna get into too much detail, but the idea is that women are to blame for cat calling.

It was a fucking, you know, obviously it's a faulty promise that you rework and then at the end I said it's like, I go, you're Afghanistan, you guys need to smoke out of Kaita and everyone went, ooh, because you're saying words that they don't understand? Like they don't understand why that is. Right, right. Actually, I said, it's like your Afghanistan and Pakistan, and you need to smoke out of Kaita and everyone groaned

and I was like, oh, come on guys, you don't understand that's right. Like politically right, like historically right. And they're like, ooh, and I was like, oh come on guys, you don't understand that's right. Like politically right, like historically right. And they're like, ooh, and I was like, okay. And so then, that's when you, this is when I was like, I wish I was not drinking right now, cuz I gave them a lesson. I was like, okay, the Mujahideen came over, took over everything. And the Russians said, let's kill the children and the women.

And then the, the will break their spirits. So they started killing children and women. So the Mujahideen moved all the children and women to Pakistan and they became students in private schools not private schools But private schools in the impact stand and the word for student impact stand is al-Qaeda. That's the fucking word Is it al-Qaeda? Is al-Qaeda the one in Pakistan right now? Maybe I'm wrong who knows What's the word for student? What's

Al-Qaeda mean? Is it Al-Qaeda? Al-Qaeda? Al-Qaeda. Yeah, isn't that. What's the one that we're fighting in Pakistan? Is that Al-Qaeda? Or is it... No, I think it's Al-Qaeda. Well, Al-Qaeda is like a terrorist organization. Whatever. Anyway. Or do is what they speak in Pakistan. That's the language. No, but... Oh, or do is what they speak in Pakistan. That's the language. No, but, oh god damn it. This is why you should not drink and talk. This is why you shouldn't learn anything new.

This is why you shouldn't learn anything new. Those lines in the sand were drawn by fucking Brits just to split up people of the same color and the same race and nationality, like in the same religion, so they could control them. And so, Pakistan, there's really no difference on the border of Pakistan and Afghanistan race and nationality like NSA religion so they could control them and so Pakistan there's really no difference on the border of Pakistan and Afghanistan at all between the people They're the same fucking people so when Afghanistan when the Mujahideen kicked out their women and showed them the sent of Pakistan and they turned them into Students and I maybe it's Taliban. Who's running up Afghanistan right at the Taliban? Yeah, the Taliban is what I said last night I'm in the Taliban. Yeah, the Taliban is what I said last night. I'm sure the Taliban Is the name for student or whatever and so all those people were ingrained in fucking that

Surrey law and all that shit. This is your new hour This is why I fucking This is why I should never drink on stage. I Was so fucking exhausted Birdie boy relapsed or I get to get some. Yeah guys, if you want to learn about imperialism and... I love it. I was fucking, I was on a time. That was, and then we did a question and answer period and all the sudden.

I would love to have a shot of that speech and then like the crowd. And then it turns back to you as a shirtless guy What the fucking drink shirtless being like the moon like blue tragedy The Russians were brute route. I went to a big period when the whole fucking Afghanistan Shake went down where I learned everything. Yeah, I believe you shouldn't learn it He should learn it right and then you next thing you know you're fucking saying the wrong goddamn words. I'm drinking. Fuck it I'm drinking do it. I know my brand. Yeah.

Oh. Hey, feel. I feel great. I feel amazing. I actually feel amazing. I like these podcasts better when I fly here. Yeah. Yeah, I wish I don't like this studio so much. We're getting the other ones on its way. Like how close. Well, I mean, they got permanent. It's under construction. Yeah. What if we got a Okay, I think there are more a little more live because I feel feel like we live life and then we come back. Yeah. Yeah.

As opposed to just, especially when we were in the pandemic, when you just sat in your house and they showed up, I think our podcast is getting better. I believe I think so too. Oh, I didn't tell you, because I was in Seattle. Yes, if you've been to Starbucks Reserve, people we know Starbucks is like a big corporate chain and you're like, eh,

as far as, but they have a thing called Starbucks Reserve, which is like a whole fucking coffee experience where they have a bar where they make coffee infused cocktails. That's where you were. Yeah. I texted you and I said, where are you going on this trip? Like you seem to have like these lavish tours. I went to the shop and you were like, we mean. I go, I don't know, you had like a fucking roastery

and you were or something and you were like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I did a couple things and I was like, this sort of the fuck I'm talking about. You did this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you just out of nowhere, yes, this is any plans Monday night. That's it. That's what I said. Where is this? Then the next thing you text is we have to talk about the tours Tom took. So I write what tours? Yeah. And then you write this car place and the coffee roaster. I'm like, oh, okay, well, coffee roaster is Starbucks reserve. So you went to a Starbucks reserve. Yeah. I saw that. Which was unbelievable.

If you, here's the thing, I thought it was just like a branding marketing thing where they go, no, no, this is like coffee you don't buy in regular Starbucks and you're gonna get it and you're gonna be like, oh, it's just another coffee. Like it's just gonna take like coffee. Why like cold brews and everything? They had a cold brew that's made in a whiskey in barrel.

And I was like, oh, that sounds unique. But again, I was expecting it just to be like, oh, it tastes like cold brew. One, the fucking best things I've ever tried in my life. For real? So where are these brand new things? There's a few, I mean in Seattle, I don't know how many are in Seattle.

I think there's at least two or three, but it's a fucking ride. And then they's a few, I mean in Seattle, I don't know how many are in Seattle. I think there's at least two or three. But it's a fucking ride. And then they have really full fucking pastry shop. They make it, they make Italian food. They make all, yeah, it was fucking impressive. I actually was like, are there any in Washington, DC, New York or Boston? Because that's where I'm going to be next. And I would love to go to, I would love to have locations. Just add one word to that and see how many there are is that all the locations There's gotta be one in New York. There's definitely something out there Seattle with Shanghai Milano New York Tokyo

Chicago. All right. I'm going to one in New York. Yeah, hit fight a little fight location Is there is there a Los Angeles one? I'm in New York this week. I'm gonna go to the one in New York, I'm at a Smith Square Garden this week. That's all the reserves? Yeah, there's a bunch, man. Holy shit.

Oh, wow. Those are all in LA. Wait, wait. Each of those is a reserve. It says featuring reserve? No, that's not the same thing Like the one that I went to definitely didn't look as crazy as the Seattle pictures Yeah, no, no, no, you go in and they got like you get you go in and you're met with a greater start start at the beginning Yeah, you walk in does it smell better than a Starbucks? Everything's better really I mean the building the the the font and what is

Bettering to reserve it and get it for it. Not at all. Anybody can walk in, but you walk in. It's like walking into, it's like if you were a fan of, let's say, I don't know, like Ferraris, and you go in and they're like, this is the official Ferraris store.

It's a fan experience. Which you also did kind of, keep going. Well, so those were pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when you get to Starbucks, you're met by a greeter who's like, You also did kind of keep going. Well, so those were pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when you get to Starbucks, you're met by a greeter who's like, it's not like when you walk in and they're like, thanks for coming.

It's a guy who's like, have you been here before? And you're like, no. It's like the Apple Store. Yes. And he's like, oh, let me just like give you the layout. And you're like, okay. And it's an enormous space. There's a bar.

He's like, if you want cocktails, I was like, yeah, he's like, that's all coffee and views cocktails. Yeah, coffee cocktails. All coffee cocktails. Yeah. Like shots and stuff. Everything. All these like, and there's a mixologist there.

Like just making coffee. All these shots would be the greatest thing in the world. Oh, it's so good. And then he's like, a little bit alcohol, a little bit of coffee, just a bit more. Over there is like a full, like, Italian chef making. Hey, Annie, grab me one of those, those Guinnesses. I wanna try a coffee Guinness.

Good, good idea. Like how my brain works. You gotta like how my brain works. I love how your brain works. Okay, keep going, keep going. So they're making Italian food, you know? Because like the origin of all this is that that, what is Howard Schultz or whatever was

I think he was in Italy and so it's all like this supposed it was all supposed to be an Italian inspiration originally So it's all Italian food there and then They have this crazy bakery where they're just pulling out all these fresh baked, you know paste reans croissant Excuse me, go to the net, these. And then they tell us about, we're like, we just want to get coffees. Like what kind of coffees do you like? Like cold brew and like, espresso. He's like, getting this line. He's going to wrap around here.

There's like a 15 minute wait in this line. And there are coffees that no, I'm going straight to the fucking dome. I figure I just pour it in here half and half, right? See if we like it. It's basically a little mixer. I mean, you might want to do it in the cup first. No, no, no, no, I'm going to kill a little bit of that. Okay. And then we'll go Guinness and Starbucks. See what we think. I think we're gonna like this. You know this reminds me of those... String break?

Those documentaries. Those documentaries where they're like, and then I just started drinking mouthwash. Do you wanna try it first? You want me to try it? I think you should try it first. So I stir it, do you think? Listen to Annie's going, that doesn't seem like a bad idea.

Okay. It's my finger, guys. And you'll be the one trying it only. Not certain is that bad. Or good. I need you have cream Yeah, yeah, I got cream. I'll send it for you. Let's try it. Okay, here we go Guinness and Starbucks It's really fucking good

It's really fucking good. It is surprisingly good. Tommy, I know I put my finger in it. You gotta try it. It's really fucking good. Tommy, it's really, no, no, doesn't eat cream. It actually sweetens up a black coffee. Tommy, you gotta try it. It's really fucking good.

I'm being, they take a big sip. Take a big sip. It's really fucking good. It tastes like a Guinness Just it's kind of like toned down a bit. I think I just came up with something genius. I'm like super excited I think I'll love it try it try it try it. Oh me you just made a coffee style You love all your own idea Yeah, I know it's like liking pictures of yourself when you want vacation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take a big sip.

It's really good. I taste like, it's not that bad. You know what it tastes like? What? Like somebody went to pour a beer and something, they're like, oh, was this not beer? That's what that tastes. It does have that taste where you're like, you know what it tastes like?

You know what it tastes like? You put ice in your beer. Yeah, yeah, I like it. It's like a watered down beer. Or somebody was like, I'm pouring a beer and it's like, no, it's my diet coke. They're like, well, it's fucking got beer in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's got beer in it now.

That's exactly what it tastes like. By the way, this might be a great pre-grain cocktail. Pre-grain cocktail? Pre-grain cocktail. You need to see a neurologist. Fucking mighty. Fuck me. This is actually really fucking good.

Yeah. Anyone try it? I mean, I'll pour it in the cups, you don't have to suck part lips. No, please don't pour it in the cup. I'll do it, yeah. I mean, I think you're gonna like it

because you're a big fan of Guinness. It's interesting to me that any likes to have a beer in the afternoon, like relax, you know? Really? Yeah, yeah, cause I'm not that guy. Like I'm obviously I'm that guy. Hold on, let me, let me do it. Let me do it away from the electronics.

No, let me do it cause I don't wanna lose too much ice. All right. Let me do it away from the electronics. No, let me do it because I don't want to lose too much ice By the way, I don't know what you're talking about Any I think you're gonna like it. I'm putting heads. That's all I want to hear your action. Oh, right. You can't hear me Yeah, I can hear you. Yeah, by the way, I don't know what you're talking about with this This like tropical vodka shit you got you don't like it. No, dude. I'm fucking I'm fucked up Oh for real from this one. Yeah, oh, maybe we're different human beings My metabolism any get ready for a fucking Starbucks and Guinness. All right, let me try it. I Mean this is a coffee stout isn't it? It's basically what this is? Oh, did I just reinvent the wheel?

Free event. It tastes good, right? I mean, it's not bad. It's not bad, you taste it. You taste it again, is. You taste the coffee, it's kind of nice. I mean, I'm a fan of stouts, though. That's the thing, though.

I like this, I feel like I would like both things, separately, so together, it's just like, it's a better mixture. Yeah, unusable. How unusable do you think the next episode is gonna be that we record when I'm hammered? It's gonna be something. So, I'm gonna take these off.

Sweet, go back to your Starbucks experience. Okay. Cause I think they would have me as a mixologist. Cause I like this idea. I'm mixing infusing cocktails with what nots. Okay. Because I think they could they would have me as a mixologist because I like this idea. Yeah. Mixing infusing cocktails with what nots. Yeah. So they. Yeah. They actually have like the roasting stuff there like those huge fucking I don't know. Like it looks like you're at an actual coffee plant. Yeah.

But then in the coffee line, they have coffees that are not available at a Starbucks. That's what we got in line for. I was like, I want to see how different. I thought it was going to be like, you know, when you go into a coffee place and they're like, do you want Ethiopian or Colombian blend? You're like, I don't know, a fucking cup of coffee. And you try it and you're like, that was good. I thought that was what they meant.

But that cold brew with the whiskey barrel was a fucking ride. Like it was a treat. It was unlike anything I'd ever tried. And then I got espresso. I was like, I want to get an espresso. You can't get at another place. How much of these drinks are they really? No.

And by the way, are you super buzzed from coffee? No, no, no. You don't get buzzed from coffee that do you? I mean, I can drink too much coffee and get anxiety. Like, you're like, oh, shit. My heart's straight. It's hard for me. Yeah, yeah, but I'm not at that level.

I mean, I only had a little bit of coffee in the morning. So I was ready for a coffee. It was great, man. It was fucking, you guys go. We probably walked up there from the hotel around 10, 10, 30, something like that, yeah. And then we'd been up for a little bit, and then we just walked around that area.

Like that hole, I forget the area that it's called in Seattle and then Went to some store zone or something. It did meal to ride zone Yeah, I'm already buzzed as fuck keep calling keep calling yeah, yeah one episode today. Maybe keep going keep going Yeah, so anyways, then we went to stores. I think there's a throwback sports store that had like you know You buy anything? Yeah, I got well, I got one of the I got a Sean camp t-shirt That's a too big, but I was like I don't know they didn't have that any other sizes. I was like fucking I'll get it anyways And I got a supersonic shirt. Yeah, like that and then I was gonna get this no limit shirt Would master P and like all these guys on it and they're like oh it's $400 and I was like what and they're like yeah, it's

these throwback like rap shirts are, I forget what it is, but they're with the print. He's like, they're in, they're very rare and they're in high demand. It's amazing that there's so many. I was like, no. I know, the guy explained to me to it.

He told me that it was a repress of the design that the shirt had actually deteriorated, so but they were able to salvage the print, but I didn't get it. I was like, I'm not paying $400 for a fucking no limit t-shirt. Yeah, so it's a good call. Yeah. Wait, then now tell me about cigars.

You and Jeff got cigars. Oh my God. This has happened. This probably happens to you, I'm assuming, too. No, where? Dude, now that you're saying this, I really do think our fans are different humans. Because like, I don't, I this, I really do think our fans are different humans. Because I think, I think I cook out in front of my bus.

We grill out in a Hibachi that we got for $20 in front of my bus, and we get really excited for it. We don't go to get cigar. Oddly enough, and I know people probably think differently. I don't go out much. When we do it on tour, I'm kind of in the bus. But I think because I'm kind of like in the bus. But I think because I'm like, I'm nervous about, I'm still nervous about coronavirus, you know. You are? Yeah.

I'm still nervous. I'm just, I feel bad. I would feel horrible contracting it at a club or at a theater and then, and then just spreading it around. So I'm, I'm not, I'm not over-selling this, but I'm pretty cautious like when I do pictures It's a selfie and then I stand behind them and we stay distant. Yeah, like I don't do meet and greets I Don't go out to bars. We go back to the boss But I think also work conditioned because we were doing that during the pandemic So it's like fine for us. We'll let get movies we saw precious gems. Ooh, right precious gems now. We'll talk about the next episode.

You mean uncodules? Yeah, I just saw precious gems. Holy fuck, we're talking about it now. Not right now, we're not right now. But so, yes, I don't go to cigar bars, I don't go to like... I don't go and hang out. I really don't... Am I being overly cautious? You're fine. Like, how...

So, what I meant first of all is that ever since I just mentioned that I, I, I am not an aficionado, but I enjoy a cigar, but I, I'm saying like I'm not like some expert. I enjoy a cigar from time to time. So I mentioned that to my tour manager once, dude, he'll tell any venue. He's like, Tom loves to go. So there's like these fucking, I go to the green room and they'll be like, I'm a pussy official not.

Yeah. A Peter, write that down. There's always these crazy spreads and then they hook up, cigar lounge is all the time. For real? Yes. You're like a cigar spread at your fucking green room? Sometimes, yeah. Yeah. Can we tour so very differently? Yeah, yeah.

But then. But and also. It's so globally differently. I also go to like lounges for hanging out. I don't go to like a fucking party. You know what I mean? But no, hold on. I gotta talk to you about this off camera.

I don't think I can talk to you about it on here. But. Okay. I don't do anything crazy though, man. I know, but I, okay. All right, we're definitely talking about this off camera. Okay. So sweet, sweet.

I do, I do, I do bring people out, like I told you this last year that it was a great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. so I did that this week And I brought Matt Farah and his wife this smoking tire like my auto journalist friend So he is he based out of a saddle no I flew him up. No way. Yeah, so To hang out though like it's fun to hang out and you like hey, you know we get breakfast we go to I went to that museum, the museum of pop culture there, which was fucking another cool thing we did.

Hold on. And then we were doing, man. But also, also, you gotta remember something. I was in Seattle. So I'm in one of America's fucking great cities, like, you know, it's different. You were in fucking green Bay You know, I mean I think my my my weekend was pretty still pretty fucking awesome Well, okay, hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on I want to go through your weekend because I'm like blown away that

So you fly Matt and his wife up which is a brilliant idea idea, in my opinion, because that guy has been very, very, very cool and generous to you. And also he's a great guy. He's a great guy, but he's like, you're into the shit he's into, so you guys can sit and talk all day. Oh yeah. So then, so then you guys get up there, he's like a fucking car, so font. He knows everything about cars.

I remember listening to him on Rogan, I'm not into cars, and I got into cars because he was into cars. It's the other level. Yeah, and so, and Rogan's into cars. Like you guys are all into cars, and so that makes total sense. And you guys went to that car museum. Did he? No, we actually went to, so he has a place,

Matt does in LA called West Side car collectors, I think it's WSC. It's a car Storage facility, right? So like when you go like I want to either you have don't have the space for your cars or if you're a So that's you in LA in that no in LA In LA I went I've seen his place because it's cool. It's just like it's basically Stacks and it's also there's a club membership style thing there too where you can go and hang out like smoke a cigar, have a drink, lounge. So this is a type of business that exists in a lot of big cities, not a lot, but a number of cities where they have car storage and then some type of social

aspect to it. So in Seattle, it's called the shop and so we and Matt and that guy named Matt as well know each other So we just went and checked out his place. So there's hundreds of cars there I pulled up any but there's also like a restaurant and and you know, I mean it's uh, yeah So you saw some badass fucking cars. Go to Seattle. Yeah. So is it all sports cars? Not all.

No, no, there was a lot of Broncos, and there was, you know, there's like classics. There's like old BMWs, like CS, and they have the old GMC Jimmy. It's more, you know, that type of vehicles. They're great. There's some old Volkswagen buses, you know, that type of vehicles. They're great. There's some old Volkswagen buses, but then there's all super cars, you know, there's like 258 or like about car people. I like when car people get into like, they've got a brand like, like fluffy's into, um, he's into those, I stand on the picture.

There was a, there was a Volkswagen bus there. Yeah, I texted him. Like that. And then you start knowing which of your friends would like that car. Like I like those, I like those old Broncos. I think you start knowing which of your friends would like that car. Like I like those. I like those old Broncos. I follow a bunch of vintage Broncos. One of the ones I follow in the Joe's.

He's got the icon. He's got the icon. Yeah, I like those old Broncos. I my car and I don't know. I really don't know what my car, my vintage car would be that I would want to get. I wish I was more, you know, I think it's because I drink. I don't know what my car, my vintage car would be that I would want to get. I wish I was more, you know what I think is because I drink, I don't drive very often. So I don't, so I don't,

like I feel sad for rappers when I realize they have to buy a nice car because that's part of the culture. You have to buy a nice car, and then you have to be the one driving it. Like what the fuck? Makes no sense to me. Yeah.

You know, I heard of a guy, a guy, a rapper had a Maybok and he, uh, he got, by the way, there's been just, this is a really quick aside. Everyone calls them Maybach and then I think in Germany, they'd say to call them Mybox. Mybox. But everybody here calls them Maybacks. Okay. So I'm just gonna go ahead. Okay. So I feel like you're I feel like you're man explaining me. I am. I feel like I'm in the middle of your show last night. So guys it's my box. So I'm at the mine box. Yeah. I mean, so there's a but I I saw a rapper he got like I guess pulled over or something.

I was a video and like he got pulled over and his my back and I was like, I was like, that's a car. Like, if I got that car, I'd also get a driver. That's a car to be driven in. Yeah, yeah, why would you drive that fucking car? Or like a crazy rolls. Yeah, like, I think they're missing the point. It's like, there was no, there was no insight.

Yeah. They just looked at the price tag and go, that's the nice car I want it. And then they sat in the fucking front seat. Yeah, and you're like, you're the chauffeur. You're like, hey man. And you guys ride in the back and all the buddies in the back are like, don't tell him.

We should be driving. Like it's so silly to me. Yeah, but I think that's what I would, I would talk to you. Would you get a driver? I would love a driver. I would love a driver. And like a nice comfy car.

Estu-laid or something, right? I've actually thought about this. When I had to get my car, I was leasing my car. I was actually toying with the idea of going, like let's break down money and think, how much do I spend on Uber's when I'm in LA? Thank God I didn't do this because

it was during the pandemic, right? Yeah. I got it right in the beginning of the pandemic. So I would have never used it, but I was like, I use ubers all the time. I always use ubers. If we go out to eat, I use ubers. Like, before all going out to eat,

I go, man, let's enjoy ourselves. Like, get some wine, let's uber there. Get a nice, like a, get an SUV, which is, by the way, it's way too fucking pricey. I've been, I've always just done SUVs. There's so much more than just a fucking, fucking regular car. And so, but I've always done SUVs,

cause I was like, I want an SUV. And then all of a sudden, you're like, I'll fucking arrive with fucking McGellan, a fucking van. And so, it's like fucking $50 more to just talk to a dude. And so, but I was like, I would love a driver. I would love a driver. Can I tell you the one I really want?

I really want the driver from Cannonball 2 where the orangutan drove. Do you ever see the orangutan drive the orangutan 2? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Where he's outside the car. That's what I want. Like I would love to do some real gangster Hollywood ship

where you get the driver that's got to ride outside your car and you're in a little bubble. I would love that. Yeah. You should have a driver. I would love a driver. I would love it. I never drive. I never drive. I told you, I've had the same tank of gas in my car for seven months. That's insane. I just, I don't, I never drive it. I'm never, I never drive it. I mean, that car's not going to run pretty soon. I actually am worried about that. So I, last time I was like, so how drive it. I'm never, I never drive it. I mean, that car's not gonna run pretty soon. I actually am worried about that.

So I, in the last time I was like, so how much do you have to clean out gas? Like, it's got, you should drive a car, right? You should turn it on at least once a week, maybe every two weeks. Yeah, yeah. And no one will drive it. Why?

Leanne likes her car, Georgia likes her car. No one wants to drive my car. So my car just sits there. I should never got in a car. I really should never got in a car. And I actually thought about that. I was like, you know, why don't we put out, um, oh, this is fun. I love when you do this. I love when you do this. Let's put out, uh, uh, a message. Yeah. Who in LA would like to be birds full-time driver? I'm not opposed to this.

I know. Now look, we're going to vet somebody. They can't be a fucking lunatic, obviously. I tell you today, I was like, we want a safe driving record. No, I'm not going to be a driver. I'm not going to be a driver. I'm not going to be a driver. I'm not going to be a driver. I'm not going to be a driver. I'm not going to be a driver. I'm not going to be a driver. I'm not going to this. I know. Now look, we're going to vet somebody.

They can't be a fucking lunatic, obviously. I tell you today, I was like, we want a safe driving record, no more than one or two DUIs in the past. And then age range, I got a better idea. So hooters used to have an airlines, right? Hooters? Hooters. Yeah.

So hooters, how do an airlines? There are still hooters playing out there. I'm certain of it. Okay. Hooters? Hooters. Yeah. So hooters. How to narrow lines. There are still hooters planes out there. I'm certain of it. Okay. Hooters. I'm talking to camera right now hooters. If you would like a sponsorship on two bears one cave, please find me from LA to Austin every week to do this goddamn podcast. Right? Yeah. They've got to have hooters planes. There they are. Right. And you know planes last forever. They don't go bad. So get a hooters plane. They're not, it's not milk, it's a plane. Yeah, yeah. No, but planes last for fucking ever. I know.

And so look at this, they've got hooters planes all over the fucking world. Hooters, I first of all, I'm a big fan of your food. I've always had been a fan of your food. I'll do whatever you guys want. We'll read an ad on here. We'll promote hooters for imperpitude while Tom lives in this fucking city. And all you gotta do is just get me a Hooters plane

to fly me back and forth, right? Yeah, perfect. And then we'll, you can, obviously bring food on the plane. All you food on the plane. We'll do commercials on the plane. Social media on the plane. Whatever the fuck you want.

It's just, I would love to go fly on a Hooters. I was like, how can I could it be if you roll up? You got a hooters plane bunch of hooters fucking which to Santa's like what's up, be man? You're like hey, and they got pictures of beer you can't help playing with a picture of beer And then they go birth buffalo shrimp. I go you know the be man And so we start murdering buffalo shrimp, right? We got you breaded. We got you unbredded, we got you fries, we got the flounder sandwich, the grouper sandwich, we got everything burnt.

You ready? And I'm like, we're gonna fucking have a blast. And then we roll in here deep, right? I got five hooter waitresses with me. And we just come in, we're like, hey guys, let's bang a couple out, right? And then we bang a couple out, right? And I'm like, ladies, back on the hooters plane.

And we fly to Tampa, or wherever, LA, whatever. Okay. That's a sincere pitch to hooters if Hooters is into it I know there's got to have the planes. They've got to they've got to have a guy who's in charge of Hooters That's got one fucking plane. There's a guy holding on to one fucking plane. You know that right? You know there's one fucking guy who still wears jeans shorts who's got one fucking plane. Yeah. And he's like, God damn it, he fucking knows I got a plane. What, we'll do a hooters' read. It's got to be, it's got to be dude, for the year. I mean, come on.

Why don't we reach out to hooters? Hooters. Okay, name it, but here's the deal. I don't want, this is what I want. Hooters' the only thing I can think of that makes sense. I was thinking of that makes sense? I was thinking of maybe a company that's in the aviation business right now, like in transportation, actively.

As opposed to making the Hooters guy fire up his plane, what about a plane company? That's like we fly people. Okay, no, I like what you're thinking. This is why we're a team. Okay, so I was thinking like- Bawwizer, Bawwizer. Bawwizer has to have a Bawwizer private jet with a big Bawwizer stuff. They definitely do. But I was thinking maybe like, wheels up.

What the fuck's wheels up? They fly people on planes. They're a plane company. Okay, why don't we just get a fucking organ delivery company to send me out on fucking, and I'll bring a liver here for someone. Here you go. I'm gonna do a podcast. This is the dumbest fucking idea. You need to work with me or against me, okay?

Fuck Hooters is our fucking deal. Okay McDonald's hooters. We need but why is it let's go to bad. We're wise Or yeah fucking any alcohol Sponsor like Tito's has a Tito's is located here. Why don't we do it? She does see if there's a Tito's jet But it's got to have Tito's on the side of it. Okay, and I need to be like a 737. I don't know They know that's how it works. They don't have a 737. Just Tito have a private jet Oh Doesn't look like it you realize I'd be dead in a fucking month. I was flying on the T-Dose private jet.

My point is, I just was like, I'm flying back and forth a lot. And I just would love some corporate sponsorship where I could do one read on the podcast and then they would find me, is that a hooters jet? Oh no, it's just a... If jet sweet, by the way, jet sweet would be a good one. Okay. Jet sweet, if you could just fly Austin to Dallas,

they don't fly Austin to LA. They don't? No, not yet. And by the way, Jetsuite, start that business and end, and by the way, that's a horrible fucking idea. What is? Jetsuite actually, I'll do a read for Jetsuite right now. They're very affordable.

They are very affordable. And you kind of fly It's like the private experience I guess but you like you go to your own terminal your own hanger You hang out you relax. It's not like fucking crazy TSA is cool, you know that you just go through just kind of check you and then you get on the fucking plan and it's and it's actually very Affordable like I I it's like I'm not gonna say exact numbers. I'm sure I'm wrong But like there's like $200 to fly to Vegas, which upgraded See what it is to buy see what fucking call this motherfucker liar what see what it is to call see what it is to fly fucking

Jet sweet L.A. to Vegas. Burbank to Vegas. You are on one today Jet sweet to Vegas jet sweet to Vegas $240 $240. Okay, all right, okay, let's do it. Jet sweet X All right,240, $240. Okay. $240. Okay, let's do it. Jet Sweet X. All right. Let's plan a trip. Now, actually go ahead and actually book a photo. Jet Sweet, not Jet X. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Nadav. Jet sweet, JXS, I think it's called.

There you go. Yeah, yeah, I will say you were right. And you were right. Yeah. Okay. Going to Vegas, pick a, yeah. Pick a weekend, pick a weekend. Yeah, there you go.

No, no, do a fucking weekday. That's another, let's see what that price is. I mean, I'm seeing, I'm seeing right now. Friday night. Yeah, no Friday. Go on a Friday. Go this Friday. Okay, I come back Sunday.

Come back Sunday. All right. $179. No, $719, my bad. But that's round trip. You see? And then 509. Where are you seeing these numbers?

On the right, where you seeing? That's 700 and 19. That's what I said. I said it wrong the right time. That's one way. Okay, keep going keep going I swear to God we got him for 214 round trip like there and then 214 back Okay, and then granted it costs looks like 50 bucks. It's a crazy Good deal for the experience. I agree with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah And so but but yes, we I'm not gonna do fucking reads on the podcast for Jeff sweet. Well, you just did. We just did a fucking five minute ad for Jeff sweet ex.

I know, but not every week. I don't want to do it every week. I just buy the fucking ticket. Okay. If you guys flushed, I'll just, can you just read X, can you just go Austin to fucking LA and then I'll just buy that ticket?'d ask can you just go Austin to fucking LA and then I'll just buy that ticket Yeah, can you get the fucking see it's like it's like Southwest. You know Southwest used to be like that

Yeah, yeah, they just flew these little private routes Mm-hmm, and then you know it's like you got a deal. It's like all sudden you're flying not on a fucking You're not working you go from LA to on that on there on the just we'd actually go to Vegas I think Sacramento. I'm Oakland. You can't fly to Texas on them? No. I would be just there. We were just there there, the day trying to get a flight and they were like,

no, we just go Austin to Dallas. And it's packed, man. It's like, it's a lot of people. It's a nice experience. You go to a private airport. And I'm sure it's probably a lot more, but it's. I'm just.

Typical Vegas, huh? Just Vegas Now just do in the dog for an all fairness see what a ticket to be Excel costs because I swear to God We got it for like two forty nine and then I actually asked to do that later Yeah, let's do it later or right now or right now just click it just click it you mother fucker Just click it just click it 299 Tommy 219 2, I fucking told you! Okay, I'm gonna murder this coffee and beer. How much time are we doing today, Nadov?

We haven't even talked about Aaron Rogers, motherfucker? Hold on, yeah, we got time. Okay. Okay. So, you know, I've been interviewing you a lot on this show. Do you think people can tell him drunk. You think people can tell him drunk? You can, you tell him drunk? You can't, right? No, okay.

No, you tweeted, you tweeted out, hey, Aaron Rogers, are we going to dinner or are you coming to show? It was something like that. And you said he, then DM'd you. Yeah. Was like, are you fucking with me? He DM'd me and he was like, yo, you're trolling me? And I panicked immediately.

But the thing is, you know the place I was doing in Green Bay's kinda big. And so I was like, I was like a week out. I'm like, still got 200 tickets to move. Let's fucking get some, draw up some heat. So I figured I was like, best case scenario. Like Aaron Rodgers tried to write it back. What the fuck?

Publicly. Instead of doing it privately, like what the fuck? And he was like, yo case scenario, like, Aaron Rodgers tried to write back, what the fuck? Publicly. Yeah. Instead of doing it privately, like, what the fuck? And, but he was like, yo, you're trolling me? And I was not trolling. It got a lot of traction. It like had a bunch of retweets. And so, it's all green Bay fans.

And so I was like, oh, did the work that I needed it to do. But then, you never think they're real people. And I know people say that with us. But you never think of Aaron Rodgers as a real person. Right, it's a guy on TV. It's a guy on TV, it's a guy that fucking does things that you can never do.

There's no way he's got a phone in his hand ever. Right, he's got a, like, he's got a modeling one arm and a fucking football on the other. And the fucking is, and so he deemed me and I was like, I got panicked. I called you, you're the first person I texted. And I said, yo, I think I'm gonna fuck this up. And then I texted AJ Hawk and Pat McAfee. And I was like, hey, does Aaron Rogers have sense of humor?

I think Pat wrote back, he's got a very dry sense of humor. Or maybe AJ, if someone was like, whatever they said, I wanna put words in everyone, anyone's got a very dry sense of humor. Or maybe, maybe agent. If someone was like, whatever they said, I wanna put words in everyone, anyone's mouth, you know, because I don't wanna tell stories out of school, but they were like, and then Pat wrote, I like what's happening right now.

I guess that's why his brain worked. So in you said, very directly, you're like, hey, all you say is I'm a huge fan. I like to off you tickets to my show. Like, don't try to write a joke. Just, a huge fan takes my show. So then I just write that and I don't get a response for like a day and I'm like, god damn it man.

Cause I love air and Rogers. I mean, who doesn't love football, that doesn't love air and Rogers? You know, it's like, they're just names that you've just enjoyed watching them so much. Sure, and you go around for a fucking minute, man. Yeah, yeah, and by the way And you go around for a fucking minute, man. Yeah, yeah. And by the way, it's like been a fucking...

Anyway. A text from my right that, don't get to reply back. And then he writes back like, oh, cool. I'm a fan too. And I was like, oh. And then he's like, when do you get in? And I was like, Friday. And then nothing for like two days. And I was like, Friday. And then nothing for like two days. And I was like, and we got the tour of the Lambo.

And I was like, dude, it's cool enough to be able to text with them and then go see Lambo. And they just make a couple jokes. Yeah, yeah. And then he writes back, you know, what time do you show? I was like, I know, what time do you go on? It was more important. I go eight.

I go on at eight. And then he writes back, is it cool if I stop by? And I'm just like, once again, it sounds crazy, but you don't think they're humans. Yeah. Like you don't think of Aaron, I know that everyone listening to this goes, Aaron Rogers was like a person. Yeah.

And even still up until the moment that he knocks on the bus window, when he knocks on the bus window, he was like, hey you guys in there? It was like, he did it like a person and you're like, and but everyone on my bus was like, it's fucking Aaron Rodgers Yeah, yeah, and then he walks in. He's like, hey guys, and I'm like, hey guys, this is Aaron and everyone's was like, and he just hung out with us for like an hour and a half and it was cool as fuck He gave me a sign Jersey and we gave him a fucking sweatshirt gave me a signed jersey and we gave him a fucking sweatshirt. Give him a birdie boy sweatshirt. And we just hung out and talked and he was like, so beyond cool that the next day we're watching him play football.

And he's like, you know, he goes up to the bear's, he's like, I fucking own you. I so own you. And all of us were like, that's so Aaron. Like. I so own you, I so own you. And all of us were like, that's so Aaron. Like, that's the guy we know at least. I mean, it was like the greatest experience. And it was, but it was like, the fact that he was so generous with this time.

And like, and then today I woke up in the night manager at the hotel we stayed at, I had written me a letter. And often I get letters and I'm like, I read it and I'm like, oh, cool, thank you very much. And then, just walk out and then I was like, I was like, oh read it and I'm like, oh cool, thank you very much. And then just walk out and then I was like, I was like, oh, this is gonna sound really weird and sappy, but I was like, Aaron Rodgers was so generous with this time.

And like despite the fact that he might be a fan of what I do or what we do or whatever, be so generous as time that I actually took a minute and I wrote that young lady a letter back. And I went, yeah, you can just take two two steps You can slow things down and just go like hey man I really as opposed to this like this rinse and repeat thing you sometimes get in the mode of doing where you're in public We're like hey, how you doing? Yeah, yeah, I showed us a picture Ha and then then you get and some people you affect their lives by doing the podcasts are going through something and they're you know

A lot of people I know you hear this to be like, you know They're dad passed from coronavirus or something going on. And then they were really hard broke. They listened to pockets, helped get them through it. And then I was like, I was like, I got that letter and I sat by the thing at the front desk today on a road or letter back. And then say, he can give us the night manager, Sydney. And I was like, because Aaron was like, so cool.

And then, and then we did the shows great. And he had some of the, his linemen were there. And I invited him backstage and we hung out. And then he's like, Amen. Thanks for being cool to my guys. And I'm like, I was like, oh, it's like the fucking greatest experience. More people like that in my head where I go less cunts, less fucking like more people like Pat McAfee, AJ Halk and Aaron Rodgers. In my book, make this place a better world. Like AJ texted me, you know, like, you know, AJ went way better than I do, but he was like, way better, way better than I do.

I mean, I haven't talked him in a long time, but I've done a couple podcast with him. He's a great guy. He's the best. And he like texted and he was like, hey man, and then past like, you know what I talk to AJ, AJ's talk said you're a cool guy.

And I like texted AJ the next day. And I was like, hey man, thanks for, you know, I'm really glad I know you. Yeah. Like, I don't know. It's just it that whole Aaron Rodgers experience made me slow down and go. Yeah, man, you like, you can be friends with, you can, it doesn't have to be this fucking veneer up where you just go like, I don't trust anybody. Right.

It's a way, shittier way to go through life to go to be like, I don't trust anybody. Right. It's a way, shittier way to go through life, to be like, I don't trust anybody. It's much better to just go like, I'm going to trust this to be a cool experience and a cool person. And then you can sometimes be disappointed, but you'll probably have a lot more good experiences that way than if you go through life saying,

everybody is fucking untrustworthy. Yeah, I actually, like I was saying this to you earlier, but like, I don't know, easy to, we talked and he was like, we sang out when, you know, in L.A. and I would love to hang out with him. But I'm also weird about that. I'm not good at follow through. I get weird about texts.

The thing that someone's telling me a text, I go, I don't know how to reply. I wish you either one that taught me about emojis. And like, yes, some people famous people send you texts and you used to go like eggplant, crying, laughing face, hands praying, love. And they're like, good call Tom. And here I am writing a fucking paragraph. Hands-praying love and they're like good call Tom

And here I am writing a fucking paragraph Oh my god, Christina when AJ hot came over She was like so you played football you play football and he was like yeah, he's really nice She's like yeah Tommy play football. I was like I play fucking high school football Shut the fuck up. Yeah, why are you fucking this up for us? The greatest experience was I get up early. I might have said this. I get up early. I see lambo's cross street and I know we're doing a tour

but I go, I want to see lambo by myself, right? I just want to see the outside. I want to be like, have an experience. So I go for a jog, I get a coffee or die of undo. And I go for a jog and get a coffee Or die-man do and I go for whatever whatever. Let's not be attached to fucking details motherfuckers so So I go I go I go in I go to Lambo I walk out of Lambo and I'm walking and I see my face On the thing across this street from Lambo and it's just fucking surreal for a kid that saw so many games at Lambo Processed street from Lambo and it's just fucking surreal for a kid that saw so many games at Lambo

With the box playing obviously and then I start walking and also then I see like a truck full of like Green Bay backers like it's they're going to practice And I'm just like oh my god. That's the team like they're going to practice and they're like Burr what's up? And I was like shut the fuck up and they knew who I was and they're like we're coming tonight I was like and I call my dad. I was like fucking crazy, but I was like dead professional the fuck up. And they knew who I was. And they were coming to night. And I was like, and I call my dad. This is like fucking crazy. But I was like, Dad, professional football players know why I am. And he was like, yeah, of course. And I was like, no.

Like that, when you're a kid watching NFL, the idea that those guys would know who the fuck you ever were, is beyond crazy. It was the coolest experience that whole day. Green Bay was probably one of the coolest experiences I've ever had in my entire life. And on tour, where you just go, it doesn't get better than this. Like, I mean, Aaron Rodgers is smelled good.

He looked good. He had a great, like his hands are fucking huge. He's a size 14 foot. Yeah. Big guy, right? Yeah. What is, right? Yeah. Was he six, two? More?

I think he's my height. We took a picture together and I look like a fucking panda. I mean, I look disgusting. Pull up our picture together. I mean, my eyes are closed. Do you remember when Joey called me Chinese and he was like Everyone needs to stop fucking a bird. Okay, you might look Chinese He was I saw me the day at the comic story so fat those Chinese guy

Pull up my Instagram the but we look I look like a fucking balloon next to him and I was like all right. I got to lose weight. I texted my account of bill buddy There is Yeah, he's six two I gotta lose weight. I texted my account of bill, buddy. There it is. Yeah, he's six, too. He's a big dude, man. He's in great shape. He sits on the chair, like on a seat,

and his stomach doesn't have his thighs. He just sits there normal, like a regular human being. Yeah, he's not fat. Not at all. It's some good, that's fucking Clinton, Dix. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

That was a child's small. So you're gonna do, you texted your accountability right after this? Yep. Would you text them? I texted them, you know, I texted them when I ate. I've been, I ate, okay. Yeah, you stopped texting me, Bert.

What? You stopped texting me your meals. Yeah, cause all yours were good and mine were bad That's how that works. That's how that works. Okay The dogs last meal was like fuck this is a lie. He took a picture of this. What is that? No one eats this tomatoes cucumber and two eggs. Okay, that's a Israeli breakfast. Yeah, who, okay, I'm not believing this is a meal. Who eats this? I eat it when I'm trying to get in shape, I guess. I mean, and then this is me.

I mean, and then this is me. Pfft. Pfft. This is our accountability is kind of a one way street. All right, let's wrap this up. Is there anything we can talk about that we didn't talk about? Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh goes top to swap the other, wears a shirt Tom tells stories and birds the machine There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean Here's what we call, two bears one cave

No scripts to bid a booze amateur for topology Dirty jokes, ranchy humor, no apologies Here's what we call, two bears one cave to the call to bears one cave.