2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 117 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Ari Shaffir

Episode Date: January 24, 2022

It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and with special guest bear, Ari Shaffir! We analyze some of Carrot Top's wild Instagram posts and ask Ari how he got banned from social media. They talk about how important change is to your life and some fans who are surprised when comedians don't care about their feelings. Ari tells us about his time at J school, Tom shows Ari a heavy clip from YMH Live and an OG clip known as "Man VS Jar." Ari tells Tom about traveling to the Dominican Republic, Tom updates Ari on Bert's health, and they discuss how crazy weed from overseas is.  Then they finish on a lighter note and react to a WILD cartel video.If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA).21+ (18+ NH/WY). Available in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/MI/NH/NJ/NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Min $5 deposit. Min. $5 wager. Winnings paid out in the form of seven (7) $40 free bets. New customers only. Eligibility restrictions apply. See draftkings.com/sportsbook for full terms and conditions.

Hey guys, I know I never get to talk on this show, so I went ahead and wrote a book. It's called I'd like to play alone, please, and it is available for pre-order right now. Bert can't interrupt this at all, so go ahead and please get my book pre-order at Thompsger.com slash book. You can get an audio book, you can get a hard copy. I'm very excited about it. I'm very proud of it, and I hope you will check it out. One person was like, why don't you stand up for us? I don't give a fuck about you. Oh, I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

And I don't care what happens to you either. Yeah. 100%. It's great. I'm so used to looking at a full figured person. And it's nice. To not have to deal with that. To see what normal looks like. Yeah., so it's a shock to the system

It is a shock to the system. Yeah, I'm like how can you not fall out of the chair everyone? Yeah Yeah, it's like squeezing it. It's like with the arms like Hey, bird. Hey bird. How you doing buddy? Yeah I was like, oh, go in. How's that Medicare thing you use that takes you up and down the stairs? I feel like by the time you go get a sniper, it'll be like, Ralphie with a doctor's like, no, you're not even in a range anymore. Oh, man. That would be awesome though. If he, if he did the stomach stapling, you know what I mean, but didn't tell anybody and just showed up at like 165.

We're like, what the fuck? Yeah, he's like, what do you mean? He's like, what? I just, he wouldn't tell anybody. He would never admit it. He started running. That and hair plugs. He would do both.

He would definitely tell anybody. He does the, he does that shit in his hair and he's always. This is him every time he takes this hat off. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, just do what I do, man. Especially. Take it down. Did all get hair plugs and I'll lean into it.

Yeah. I'll tell him. But yeah, they look great. Yeah, there's a whole thing of guys now that do all the cosmetic stuff that was like, it was shamed when it first came out. Yeah. It was new and they're like, you're a guy.

And now guys, I mean, I met a, I don't know how old the guy, he's probably like in his late 50s and clearly had just had like a facelift and everything done. Oh really? That's like the lines. Yeah, it looks crazy, but you're like, all right man, like this week. Is it like it comes up here and then slowly goes through the normal?

The thing that's weird is that it's like the face. It's a surprise. Well, the face just doesn't, like he's just like, oh yeah, like there's no expressions. You just, you have to like look into like, oh, okay, it's not signaling as much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, there's Kenny Rogers.

He got it. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Who's, oh. Who's that caretop? Do he got eyebrow implants, right? eyebrow implants or tattoos? Who's the one at the bottom left there? Yeah. What is that? That's just a fucking rad dude. I don't know. It looks like a magician. Yeah. He does. Yeah. Yeah. That guy thinks

he's fucking killing it too. Who is that's not caretop? That is not caretop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That guy thinks he's fucking killing it too. Who is, that's not Caratop. That is not Caratop, no. Who is it? But then, John, if that were Caratop, I'm buying tickets to that. Yeah, I'm going to see that. Caratop though, he did, he did wild shit. I'm saying like, he clearly juiced, right?

He got super fucking jacked. Yeah. And then the face, he did everything. But I don't know, didn't he? Aren't you the one? You're the one who said, if a comic gets obsessed with his body, then something like that's when he starts to go downhill. Yeah, it's after they get too famous. They get too famous. They start working out because they're like, I only live forever. I've already hit the top. Yeah. Now, how could I live forever? Yeah. Yeah. Jesus, look at him. Look at that one right there. 94 normal dude, 2000.

Oh, that's even only to 2007. Dude, do you remember how much hate Carrot Top got, but do you remember actually seeing him when you were a kid on like late night and going, this guy is the funniest guy I've ever seen in my life. I think any time I ever saw a clip of him working, it was clever and funny. And then he became a punchline for people

who didn't even know what they were saying. They were just like, what are you, a carrot top? Like, they didn't know what that meant. It was just their reference. It was the only reference they had. Yeah, poor guy got asked for that. Whoa, the John Hopkins one. No, that's fucking.

That's a Photoshop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, that's what I would do. But not on the left there. That's that is I mean, do you see the one with his dick hanging out on Instagram? Yeah. I'm purpose. Yeah. Yeah. It's solid. Move. Solid move. Yeah. That's not that's not a prop. That's the real thing.

This dick was just I saw the river, um, an old man with like short shorts, just peeing out of his shorts without taking him down. And I'm like, that's a kind of old. Yeah, if you wanna see it, you can, I'm sure you can find him on a search, but he posted, he had just done like a 10k or something. And he was like, hey, I just did it. And he's bent over and he's got those classic runner shorts on and his dick,

it's pretty hefty, nice little dick there, is dangling out of the bottom of his skirt. Really? Yeah, through it. And like, he moves and it like pops out. He knew. He knew. He had to know. Of course he knew.

And he's like, hey guys, I'm just fucking ran. I just ran like what? What's up with you with your just cut off on your thigh picture. And everybody wrote like, um, carrot? I said he saw him once in the gym And he goes, hey, Mr. Top. Yeah, yeah. No, there it is. Yeah, it's the movement.

Yeah. And he's like, why is it going so low? Why is it going so low? I'm like, he knows it's moving right there. He knows, he's like, it's almost out. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god, those are loose.

See, I ran like this. Yeah, he's making it come out. It took too long. There you go. There like this. Yeah, he's making it come out. It took too long. There you go. There it is. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway.

This is when you don't need your account. You know what I mean? Yeah. He's just like, I have a contract. Time to tell your contract. Look at him. He's like an heirous. I don't know. Speaking of accounts, you don't have an account. It's gone. What happened? I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm likeed. I saw, I was across the street from a billboard.

I'm coming everywhere. That's a great one. That's a good one. Yeah, that's a really solid one. Yeah, yeah. And yours was like, but you took, like, people could make fun of you, make a lot of tours in general, and you would post them. Uh-huh.

And they were out, a lot of them were fucking outrageous. Yeah, a couple, I'm like, I can't. Really? Yeah. Social justice stuff. I'm like, nah. Yeah, that's too much, but only like a couple. Oh, so you learned your lesson?

What? Ha ha ha ha ha. I shot him in there. Ha ha ha ha ha. But, but then some of them were, even the ones you posted worked with while. They're so great. Yeah.

And they were, they were, they were, they were, and they're like mocking me to have to do it. I was like, they make me laugh or cringe. I'm like, I'll rename my tour. And so it got like, I don't know, you probably did like a dozen of those. Way more. Yeah, okay.

People went nuts. And were these getting flagged? I didn't realize they were getting flagged. Some were getting flagged. Hate speech, the Hitler gave me gonorrhea tour. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha No, no, straight Hitler fuck it up from Hitler. Hitler fucked me, and gave me a disease. Like how was it? Like not good. That was terrible.

He has to shit on his chest to get hard. He makes you do it. That's really cool. Is that a real thing? It's always that in Jewish school that Hitler could only get hard if he's shit on his chest. You know, I've heard so many like rude rumors about Hitler that out of hand.

Yeah, that like keep it where it should be. I feel like there's a lot of untruths that are spoken about him. It's like he developed a reputation, let him have the reputation. Yeah, and also like, don't just fucking be a dick about the guy. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

If it's verified, I get it. Yeah. He killed Jews. That's bad enough. That's bad. You don't have to make up the shitting on the chest there. And disabled people and gypsies, like he killed a lot of people. Yeah.

And then I get that he wasn't a... What did I do? I got it. What a... Come on. Yeah, it's like... And also... Just try to make friends here.

This headline says, Adolf Hitler had a truly disgusting sexual fetish. Do we need to pile on the guy? Yeah. Also, don't kink shame. Yeah, just kind of a sexual fetish. Is it shit? Because that is the one that I feel like we all go, you can shame someone for that.

Yeah, you have to shit on their chest. That's not something, like if your mom found out about that one, it's like, oh, Tom. Oh, no, it's over. Yeah. So what does it say? Can you make it large? I can't see it. Love of poo. Yeah, that's, it's like, oh, it's over. Oh, no, it's over. Yeah. So what does this say? Can you make it large? I can't see it.

Love of poo. Yeah, that's, it is the grossest. Stand over him and defy it. Kind of like the guy who did the, the, um, uh, virus stuff. Anomicropenus. Come on. By the way, is it true? I'm kind of switching to Holocaust.

I don't know for sure for sure true? I'm kind of switching to Holocaust. I Don't know for sure for sure, but I'm almost positive But like you weren't there I was not there That's that's one of my favorite ones were you there? Some of those photos are doctored is it true that Diaz has a fucking hog on him? Like a real... Oh, Joey Diaz. Yeah. It wasn't small.

Yeah. Do they do naked roasts for skankfest? A few times? Jesus Christ. Yeah, and so it's just like they prepare but the dicks on these people are shockingly small. Oh really? So weirdly small.

I never felt comfortable. So the person getting roasted or everyone's just naked? The judges and the roasters. Are naked? Yeah. But the roasters half done. What are you doing in live? Yeah, wow.

Stink for South and we sitting at Skinkfests in New York. It's great. And everyone's naked. Yeah, everyone's naked. Holy shit. One chick went on stage, something clump, Allison clump. She goes on stage um, she just went on stage Something clamp Alison climp she goes on stage naked and um, she just reached into her pussy and And she pulled out a tampon. Oh Then oh, it wasn't a tampon. It was a brown. Yeah, it was a baggy and she opened up the baggy

And it was her jokes in there holy shit. Yeah, it was baller dude It was baller. That's her. Yeah, that's her. Allison Clamp. Yeah. So Luke, yeah, you have, you got to envy on that, right? I mean, that's incredible. That's also, that's, that's showmanship. It really is. Yeah. Yeah. So the dicks are real small, though. They're so small. It's has nothing like that. He's got a real fucking deck. Oh his balls are so fucking big So silly. Oh, yeah, your balls are crazy. Thank you. All right, but I mean he's pulled out his balls a couple times But I'm like oh my god, I'm going on. I think it's the whole package. He's looking at him This fucking grocery bag. Yeah, big belly with things hanging down you can barely see it, but

I'm they deleted my fucking Instagram account. Yeah, we went from hate speech, Hitler to your sparring. So you're your account, you just logged in one day? Yeah, and they're like, nah, come on dude. I'm like, come on, what? I don't understand the rules anymore. The rules are, I don't even get the rules. Because they're inconsistent rules.

And also, if you, if like, it was, do you notice this, this is, I've noticed that there's definitely what would be considered violations from like law like huge celebrities who to play that game like 50 cent Snoop Dogg, but they're like, we're not going to talk to you. They're just like, yeah, you're fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But first of all, you guys are kind of scary and we don't want any problems. Yeah. Yeah.

50 has the hardest Instagram page. So hard for it. I love it. And he also, if you, if you slight him in any way, he will absolutely destroy you. I think he likes it. He loves it. He was like, get me something to go after.

So funny. He's so funny with it too. I like a celebrity, a rich celebrity. He's like, I don't need anybody anymore. He's petty. He has a level of pettyness to him. Yeah. We're like, if you do anything to slight him in any way,

he will rip you apart. It's great. Yeah. But there's videos that he has that stay up. Cause they're like, we're not gonna. I feel like that Instagram is like, hey, don't flag that. Remember when Muslims were like, we're big, yeah, when that was like the big thing. And then you're like, you can't say any, like you can't say anything. I was looking at the camera.

But then like Charlie had done stuff. And so you first science, it's all too big. you could make fun of them, and then South Park would open it up, but then like, Rimbusms would be like, hey, you know, whatever it was, but as soon as you bring up with it, like, I think 50 cents the same thing, people were like, we're not gonna do anything.

Let's not open up that thing. Let's not start with him. Yeah, you're right. And you could probably, you can shit on, truthfully, if you wanted to do like a crazy thing anti-Christian, nobody cares. Totally fine.

That's true, right? It's the truth. But if you were just like, here's Muslim, and do, by the way, go for it. Yeah. Yeah. If you do the same thing about Muslims over, shut down for sure.

Yeah. Or the Muslims are just like, handle it. They're crazy ones. Yeah. But there's total inconsistencies in all these fucking I mean Christina does TikToks, right? Yeah, when she loves it Well, she'll do these things now that's called stitching So it's like you you play someone let me just think how this could go if someone from your mom's house is into this No, but that thing is

She's doing things that are like really honestly, it's just like, it's a short clip so it's somebody doing something wacky as fuck, right? Like a guy had a huge, the size of a snake and it's a gummy bear. Okay. It's a gummy bear snake. Okay. And he's like, I'm gonna see how many licks it takes to do this. And he starts like putting it in his mouth, he's like one, two, and it's like, his bit,

I guess, is he's gonna take 10,000 licks to do this. She plays that and then it cuts to her reacting, and she's just like, ugh, or something like that, and TikTok flags it. And it's like, bullying and harassment, for just reacting and going like, ugh, like something like that. And then somebody else's thing is up,

and it's like clearly more aggressive, that's fine. So it doesn't, like, Just know because you have to think about stuff that is so out of the realm of what you should be thinking about. Instead of just like, oh this will be funny for people. Yeah. And it doesn't hurt anybody. It's also like if you just react, if you're just like, what? How's that, I don't know, that's bullying now? One of them they flagged because they just showed you a list first of like, hey, these are all the things we're about to like delete you.

One of them was like a comment to let them, I don't know what, just go women ruin everything. And then they go, which is true. Which is true. It's true. Yeah. Even they would admit it. Yeah.

Christina, can I just suggest stitching is, take a different direction and just sewing up vaginas together so you could like, score them to each other. Yeah. Maybe a black is love. Maybe TikTok will let that. Maybe it will. It's a lot. Yeah, I don't get it, man. And

YouTube's not consistent. YouTube is also like super all over the map. I mean, you can have a I can't be just have it like a say like, hey guys, this might be out there, you know, click to make sure you want to watch it. Yeah one of those all right God forbid you talk about Anything COVID related then you got to pass like fucking through six circles, you know of like Like was it a joke if you're trying to joke was that a joke? Yeah, what was it a joke? It's I don't know see I we just got flagged right now We just got flagged I had one of my dog in slow motion running in Ecuador and this other dog chasing him and not even coming close and just like leaping over. I love

slow mode dog. It's leaping over these like put like like makes it so yeah because I put my dog is Hitler and the other dog is the Israelis who never caught him. Hates beach. Really? Yeah. See that's that. I don't like dude. I thought that was on Instagram? Yeah. See that's that, and I'm like, dude, I thought, that was on Instagram? Yeah. Because I didn't see what that thing was, the capture was, I tried to make funny captions. Anyway. Hate speech. Hate speech.

Yeah. I went in there afterwards, I was like, hey guys, my father's just fucking survivor of that and told me to try to make light of these things to not make it like a serious thing and take power back. So, if you're telling me to not take the word of a survivor and how to handle this Instagram, that's super woke of you, I get it, but.

That's who, those are the people that are running these social media platforms now. Which is so fucked up because you kind of, like we all kind of have to be there. I don't want to go do. I, like company account was RIP, R.I. Schaffer. I've got one signed up for that, but. Can you, can you, um, when you have an account

to lead, are you allowed to restart an account? So yet, but not into that name. I was like, give me the name back. Then you build it back up, but I think they for like six months that we like, what was it called? At R.I. Schaffer. But can you do something like real R.I. Schaffer? Well, the company name was R.I. P. R.I. Schaffer,

but just started that just now. So it's like, I'll try that. But like, I had one taken down a while ago, like a few years ago, because I just posted like a bloody dump, which... I see it at least. At least I'm like, all right, I get... It was just a bloody dump.

You know how my dumps are, right? Yeah. I fuck it. It was like gummy pairs, We're melted in there. Oh, is everything okay in there? Yeah, it is. Yeah, I've had it to Dr. Tested it. Trust me, I was hoping it'd be cancer.

I find a way out of this situation. I'm gonna show you the fucking one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, one of the Instagram things I won't post, but it just came with my memories. It came into your memories. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, There's a couple of lines for me in that type. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not worth it. Oh my God. And that would just be a disaster. Nope.

Yeah. How you been? How you liking this place? I like it. It's two of you have made here. This is a huge investment. Oh, really? Yeah.

Don't touch it. Oh, sorry. I thought. Now, it it. Oh, sorry. No, it's been it's been great, man. It's such a change of pace. That's fun. I don't know, man. Like, it's important to change it up. It is. When I moved to New York, it's the same shit. It's not I think comparisons dumb to say this is better than that, wherever, but just any sort of change is so good for you. And I think like at the age of Matt now, to make a change is kind of exciting. Yeah. It's a totally different phase of life.

My kids are notably, I think, better off and happier here. Oh, I don't know how you would raise a child just for some sense. I mean, we were very fortunate in that we lived, our last neighborhood was a, last two neighborhoods were great neighborhoods, right? And pretty family friendly. Yeah,'s no comparing it to here. You know what I mean? And like, you know, normal life.

You go bike in. It goes with Nate in wherever he lives. Yeah. And we were going to play golf. He just like, some kid was like biking past like on a tricycle or something. And he was like, go ahead. She goes, no, you go ahead. Go ahead.

Go ahead. Tell your dad it's at high and like, we're just like a neighborhood of the way I remember. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's that part is awesome here. It is awesome too. I mean, I know it sounds like whatever, but everything's 15 minutes, 20 minutes, you know, like to get to anywhere.

I kind of forgot what that's like. Yeah. Literally everything I do takes about that about the time to get to and back. And I enjoy it and people are fucking super cool here. Also, like you're at the point now where like, if you're gonna do a movie, would be the only reason you're in Hollywood at all. And like, especially with COVID,

like you can just put it on tape. Or they're just gonna call you by name anyway. Yeah, I kind of know. And so like why be the, I remember Bernie Mackinac with Chicago. Yeah. like you can just put it on tape. Or they're just gonna call you by name anyway. Yeah, kind of. So like why be it? Remember Bernie Mack will just send me to Chicago. Yeah. And he's like, I'll come in for a meeting and then I'll go back.

Yeah, I mean, I have to do a couple today and I'll let like Zoom meetings. I don't know man, I, you can tour from anywhere. We figured that out. And then you're like, oh, we can do this from anywhere. Yeah. You can set this up in Anchorage. It was actually pretty nice. Worth the death, I'd say.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You really can't just get on Wi-Fi. So I mean, after a while, what happens is if you're doing specifically what I do and what you do, you're like, oh, I don't need to be in LA to do that. I mean, I do like, this is the thing is I think people, you

can feel more than one way about a situation. Are there things I love about LA Yeah, you know, yeah to say like fuck that place now. It's not necessarily. It's also a very cool city But when I'm with New York, you're like LA New York. It's better. I'm like they're both the top two cities for stand-up Yeah, in America now you are in love with New York, right? I love it. Yeah, it's you're not gonna leave there Maybe a few years just for the change for like but like like it's so exciting. Where Erie you can move Erie probably Erie I might move international somewhere. I want to move to Berlin. I could see you doing that. Yeah Berlin, huh?

It's awesome. Really? Yeah Just go fight for what they did to your people They move on past that. Yeah. Yeah, that's not even their like last big thing There's a monument the wall is like their other big thing. There's a monument. Like the wall is like the other aspect thing. There's a monument that's like all these blocks, these kind of like, the wall. No, no, not the wall. They're these blocks.

They're like, it's like an art memorial. Oh, Stonehenge. Well, it's in Berlin though. Oh, okay. And I guess it looks awesome. It's Stonehenge. But you don't know. Yeah, there it is.

But here's the thing, when you're walking through there, you're like, this is fucking cool. So somebody's parkoring it. Yeah, people are like jumping on it and running. And then you have to be told, you're like, oh no, this is a Holocaust Memorial. Because it's not like it's, you don't walk into a, an entrance to this, it's just on the streets.

So people, yeah, memorial to the murder Jews of Europe, but you don't know that and people are like dancing on the internet. And they're like, yeah, I try to do like some of those. So all I'm saying is I think you have a really good first tour poster when you get there, you know? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, I love New York, though, know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I love New York, though, dude. It's so fucking fun. And also everybody was so shut down. Yeah. Kind of like stand up. Remember when we went back to Stanford, even outdoors.

Yeah. There's so much better than nothing. Yeah. New York's back to the point where you're like, we're out of the bar till four. Sam Rill came by me and Shane were at the, the, the fat black. Yeah. And Sam was there. Sam doesn't really, he goes on the word so much. He were at the fat black. Yeah. And Sam was there.

Sam doesn't really, he goes on the word so much, he doesn't hang out anymore. Yeah. And then he was and Shane bullies people on the drinking. So he goes, no, just one and seven drinks later. Yeah. And it's like, yeah.

We're back in New York. New York. Yeah. Me and Norma had been drinking, where it's like, just talking, all right, one more beer, one more beer. And then obviously you see light coming in through the windows and you're like, fuck. Yeah.

I've, you'd never get that really outside of New York And I mean it's hard to Miami Maybe that were where it's trash club music was but like where that can happen regularly is New York just regularly Yeah, some of the coolest yeah, so it is fully back now. Yeah, yeah, if you had to be vaccinated But everyone there is so it's like not an issue Such a dumb conversation that shit and race it's like get out of here We're all up a great time enjoying our company and you guys are bringing up the dumbest shit in the world Does it come up in conversation a lot? Yeah, but also it's like 90 80 to 90 percent of us don't care Like you do whatever you want to do. I'll do whatever I want to do and then it's a 90 80 to 90% of us don't care like you do whatever you want to do

I'll do whatever I want to do and then it's a 10 5 to 10 percent either side screaming you forget like Brought into an argument that you don't really give a shit about but you know a little bit about yeah That's not a lot. That's not a good place to be yeah, and then you're like wow I wouldn't say that yeah, why not not? So, so, the Undersecretary of State in 1972 said this. And you're like, oh, why don't I give him a fuck? I get these messages sometimes, they're like, I was so excited to go see you at whatever city. And then I got the notification that they are demanding

vaccinations to see the show. And I will not be attending. And I'm like, okay. And I'm like, okay. Okay. And they're like, well, you know, did you know about this? I'm like, yeah, I'm, this is not. Barely.

I'm not part of the health board of Orlando. Yeah, you want to be like, let me spend you math. There's 5,800 people there and you are one person. So this is not going to change things for me. One person was like, why don't you stand up for us? I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. who don't want to get back so I don't give a fuck about you

I don't care and I don't care what happens to you either This is what people don't realize like it's such a nice gift you give to people you make them laugh like oh no That's for me. Yeah, of course if you go dying a fire tonight on the way home as long as you laugh during my show I'll feel great I'm going to die in a fire tonight, on the way home, as long as you laugh during my show, I'll feel great. Literally, it'll be a great talking point. You know that great crowd? Most of them die. Wow. I know. Did you, did you, did you, did you, did you, did you,

let's go back next year, see what happens again. Yeah, somebody asked me about that from the Denver February. Somebody's like, uh, somebody goes, uh, you said you didn't care about vaccines. I'm like, oh, you misunderstood me. I said, I don't care. I'm on your side. Right, I don't give a shit. So whatever they want to do is fine.

It's an exa, it's almost like, you know what it is? There's a election fatigue, right? Like when they were getting to the election, and you're just like, you know, Trump and by and after a while you're like, I don't know man, I don't wanna turn on the news anymore. It's like, it's kinda like that where people have such strong positions on this now, but it's every day and it's been this like for like 500 days in a row

where I'm like, okay. What do you wanna do? Do you wanna do a new info comment? Yeah, barf. I mean, there's fucking like NBA players where I'm like, okay. What do you want to do? What do you want to do? New info coming? Yeah. Barve. I mean, there's, there's fucking like NBA players that are like, right, doesn't Kyrie, he's just like, done or doesn't.

Yeah, because New York, you can't, you can't do anything indoors without a vaccine. I don't want to vaccinate it so then they're like, well, I don't, like, uh-huh. Okay, yeah, but also here's a, he's a flat earther also. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which also, I don't know if that's wrong. I don't know, I think it's wrong, but I've done no research. I've flown and seen the land on a window seat. Doesn't look round.

That's their argument. You might have just rounded me, bro. Strong case. How come I don't see it round over there? You walk far away. I'm round call us, maybe, bro. Strong case. They're like, how come I don't see it round over there? Yeah. You walk far away.

I still see your feet. Oh, make no sense. Don't make no sense at all. Yeah. Woo. If I was Kyrie, you ever noticed now that you're a little older that you're like, you're older than most basketball players and B.A. players.

Dude. So you're like, oh, you're just guys. You're not like these heroes. You're just dudes. Because the other thing is that they were not just like, they were so, like, they had this like super ability, but they also, you're like, that's a grown man. Yeah. I'm a kid, and that's a super grown man. And then now they're kids. They're right. They're way younger. Like you meet, like, I've met pro athletes now, and they're like, I'm 23. I'm like, you're 23 years old. Yeah. And then you picture're kids. They're right, they're way younger. Like you meet, like I've met pro athletes now,

and they're like, I'm 23, I'm like, you're 23 years old. Yeah, and then you picture them and like, they did this thing that's air-sponsored, and like, yeah, a millionaire, 23 year old. 23 year old millionaire. You're a horse. Sometimes I drug drunk it, fucking, into my thirties.

Yeah. Like, what are you talking about? It's, it is crazy. I'm a change of the pace. There's just 26.5. Yeah, they're kids, man. They're kids. And then you realize that they just have one super grown ability. Yeah. And I've met these guys that are like, I like SpongeBob.

Yeah. They're like, they like, like, kids, you know? They're goofy as fuck. Yeah. They're just monsters. Oh, you're just six-dine. That's how they're fault. But then you realize too, just like you would be. They're like, wait, I get to not go to work and still get paid.

I'm getting $13 million. You're to play basketball. It doesn't make any sense. Crazy. It's the same shit for comedy. Where you try to explain to people, it's a job, but also I do it for free constantly constantly and the other thing I don't know if you had this realization is the longer you do it the more you're around it

You start being around like all the superstars. You're like oh, they don't have actually a greater ability or answers or anything Yeah, I like if you're gonna make it what a high percentage of like they're good like but you realize there's no like I don't know that it's not like they didn't get it another better. Yeah, no, a higher percentage of like, they're good, like, but you realize there's no like, I don't know, it's not like, they didn't get it, another better. Yeah, no, they just kind of like kept doing it. They have a following and, but they're not, you're not like, oh, they're 10 times better

than the person who's 10 times less successful than them. You see articles written about them, and they're perfectly figured this out. But have you ever had like a story where you're like, can't quite figure out the ending? And then one day you do. But that means everybody who saw the show before that

got an incomplete thing. That they were saying he's the best. Oh my God, it's perfect, but it wasn't perfect. It was. They're just putting on you. This like extra thing. Yeah. Yeah, it's fascinating really.

It really is. Yeah, yeah, it's fascinating really it really is Do I I was dinner with a friend of friend and they were like Do you know this guy Tom's the gorus? I was like yeah, I do friends of them. It's like Is it cut this out if you have to but he goes he goes is it true? I bought a house for a lot of money and I just really bought a house for a lot of money. He just said. And I'm like, yeah, my friend knows comedy. He's never heard of him. I'm like, your friend doesn't know comedy.

I don't know what to tell you. That's like saying, you just have seen some comedy. Yeah, but no, you don't know anything. There's funny when people chime in on things, like I was in a green room at a club doing spots. Like so it was like a 10, 12 kind of comics and a night thing. And it's just funny we were sitting around and you can just tell who has no idea how things work.

And these comics who were like, I don't know, I guess they had spots, but they were like, oh, you know, so and so, whatever. Daniel Topsh is doing these huge theaters. And they're talking about it. And then he was like, how much money do you think he makes there? And the one guy was like, it's like $10,000. And I was like, I love that.

It's sort of like, like that so much as you could And I didn't say anything I didn't say anything because I didn't want to like just Crush them crush like the past is long Crush their spirits and I was like and then they're like oh yeah, yeah, I was like you think so he's like oh yeah That's what you get for something like that and I was like these guys don't know how any of They don't know math. They don't know math at all. Like how many seats do you think they're in?

What do you think makes a dollar receipt? You think that's what Tasha said? Who's his manager? Yeah, that's what you talk to him. Holy shit, yeah. Now people don't think you, I mean, I think they specifically are business. They put you in a category because they're like,

you know, we're not movie stars or whatever, right? So they're just like, well, they have the potential to do this. And that's it. Like it's earn or like they're just like, you can't make that. It's crazy right now. What's how popular Santa Fe?

Santa Fe is so popular. People are making it and stuff. And how many huge acts there are? Fucking, it used to be three. It used to be three huge acts. Dane played MSG, that was the first guy since dice to play MSG. So it was a long win, like a long win at the time.

Eddie Murphy never played MSG. No, during his height. Now there's MSG shows all the time. All the time. Yeah. And there's like, there's a bunch of like, there's even acts who move crazy tickets who don't even like big venues, like Allie Wong.

Allie Wong did 30,000 tickets in San Francisco and she just chose to do it in a theater. She's like fucking crazy. She's over and over and over. She doesn't like big venues. Just stay there. Yeah, but that's a, she's a legit, that's a arena. She's like how Russ, uh-huh,

where Russ will do a reeners, years, and then everyone's gonna be like, I just want to do this club in Calvary. Yeah, or like Denver Comedy works or something like that. And people don't realize that you're electing to do that. Yeah. Yeah, Joe Koi, huge, Gabriel, huge. And they still do like rooms.

Yeah. Yeah. Just, Joe obviously Dave, kind of a hard rock. Yeah. Louis Shapel. Yeah. I saw Louis Shapel. Burr, late Malaney. Yeah, Malaney. Huge ticket. It used to be, I mean,ie should tell. Yeah. So I saw Louie should. Burr late Malaney.

Yeah, Malaney. Huge take it. Do it. It used to be, I mean, not even that long ago, if you did two shows of the Wilbur, it's like, damn, wow. Yeah. And then fucking Tim Dillon to six, Taylor Thomas, it is five. Yeah. It's like, that's what I'm saying.

It's so popular. Yeah. Yeah. It's great, but way more eyes are on us than you get to take an ever hate speech. Yeah, it's so fucking crazy. So wait, Ken, um, can you, can we pull up your nuke the new page? Yeah, what's it called? I know nothing's on there yet. It was just the company account It was like the your my version of the your mom's house at rip RIP Rish if you're unless that's down there

It is Oh, it's followed by mr. Klavel Yeah Oh really? Yeah, he does a lot of like the memes and stuff. Oh really? Yeah, yeah. Alright, so we should all follow this. Yeah, follow RIP, Risha Fier.

Oh, all right. Give it a follow, guys. I've been doing stuff. Oh, that's good. Give it a follow, he's a fucking Jew. I don't know, I'm just trying to sell it somehow. Yeah, we've had it hard enough. Yeah. Oh, she's been putting stuff on what is that? Oh, I thought it I

Put my old the old audio only podcast on YouTube. That's cool. Yeah All right ripshite are you sure fear? It's not rip it's all right Pete to understand. It's not a word. It's like stands for something. It does stand for something Yeah, rest in peace. I's not a word. It's like stands for something. It does stand for something. Rest in peace. I got a pretty smart. I read books. I read books. I'm smart.

I'm so smart. Did you do well in high school? Yeah, no, I did bad in high school. But well in college. Yeah, yeah, I did 217 in high school. Holy shit. I did not apply myself. Shut up, Nadav, it squits.

Yeah, hey, give him some fucking, some shit I can't say. Go ahead, give it to him. You want him. Yeah, hey, you're fucking nose ain't big enough and you don't have diarrhea as much as many of us do. Oh, he does have diarrhea a lot. Oh yeah, yeah.

So how did you do that poorly? I never applied myself. Yeah, guess what? Closed clown, same. Yeah. So how did you do that poorly? I never applied myself. Yeah, guess what? Class clown. Same Z's. Yeah, turn around. 2.1 in high school. 2.1.

Second lowest GPA in my graduating class. Really? Yeah, it's fucking low. And then to give you the Latino curve, they didn't jump you up with two points. No, they were, they, I think there's teachers who are, I think the younger teachers knew they're like, are you not trying, you know what I mean? You have teachers that are like 30 in high school and they're like, what are you doing?

And then the older teachers were like, he's developmentally disabled, you know? He's doing as well as he can. Yeah, they were just like, yeah. Ever since you got to have a go to a concert and have a mintial list, we're just talking about my podcast, but like have a band go, like, come on, you guys get into it and it's like,

no, that's your job. Oh, yeah. That's your job to get us into it. Please, fucking jump around music. And so, teachers, I think at the same point, we're like, you're not applying yourself. Like, make me. Yeah.

Get me interested in your dumb shit. Yeah, don't just like tell me to stay after school. Yeah, oh, yeah, that's where I want to be. Yeah. Yeah, I can't believe that. Looking back, I was like, man, because I really, I really now realize how little I tried, but I didn't realize it at the time, oddly enough.

Or I just wasn't fully aware of how little I was trying. You do your homework on the way to school. Oh, yeah, dude. In the school bus. I remember when a term paper was due, it would always be Saturday and it was due Monday We'd had like months to work on it and then in college. I remember being like Okay, that was fucking stupid for four years. Yeah, so the term papers do in four months

I'm gonna go to the library now or you did that much I would start like researching and I would be done with it a month before it was due. You know, because I was just like, you did so this clear, so bad, yeah, yeah, applying yourself. I just tried harder. I had like a three-something, I don't know, in college it was much better. I mean, so three, three, four, five, something like that. But I had to sheave in between seminary. Oh, so then I was like, I applied myself during that with no grades so

that I could like learn what success was. So you left after high school in between yeah I went to Israel for a couple of Jerusalem. For how long? Two years. Two years. Yeah. So then you went to college when you got back. And by then it was like okay I knew how to study. Were you already did you already throw in the towel though on it? No my first year I went to Yashiv University, which is in, in New York, which is like split curriculum, half like to 1 p.m. is you take classes and that's three credits total from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Alt to Talmud studies, all the shit like that. It just combined for three credits. Are you serious? Were you like a serious person? Yeah. Oh, no. No.

So you did joke around and everything. Yeah, but everyone did. That's why I got my sense of humor. All those Jews, man. They're like, I think to outsiders, it just looks like a very serious group of people. Yeah, you're dressed in the black. I see that video of that guy beating up the, beating up the religious teacher. No. Oh, yeah, it's a bad kid.

No, no, I've tried to find it somewhere. It's just like Chubby Kid and teacher. No. Oh, yeah, it's a bad kid. No, no, try to find it somewhere. It's just like Chubby Kid in a Shiva. And the bet he's just like, he's had enough. And he's a teacher. He's a bad kid. But it's like a young rabbi. It's no beer, so you can handle it emotionally.

But, um, but, um, I want to see. Oh, maybe it's that. Yeah, maybe it's, no, that might be. Wow. I hear when they show you a video and it's a report of the video. Nope, that's not it. Man, this happens a lot. That looks like it's the, might be the teacher beating up the student, right?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's different. Get out of here. Do you think he's like you fucking Jew? Terrible camera. Yeah, that's different Get out of here He's like you fucking you terrible camera Man they out the place But anyway as as he's like leaving they kick him out, you know, though like you got to get out here and he calls the cops and he goes he's dressed White shirt black jacket black. He's not gonna stand out. That's what he says. Yeah, he just like all of us.

That's what he says. Yeah. Man, you know what? Someone just showed me yesterday. There's a drive by. It's clearly, once I saw, I was like, oh, this is a cartel hit. Did you see that?

That world star had put it up and then it got taken down. See, they still have their account and they have fucking 40 million. Yeah, there's tons of like bombs blowing up to see if you can see camera. And it is fucking so clear what's happening. And it is brutal, it's with machine guns.

No, yeah. Let me see it, I'm gonna just get a bow that my whole day. Well, I don't think you could find it on a world star because it got you. They took it down on a world star. Yeah. That's independent. You can do whatever a bow to my whole day. Well, I don't think you could find it on a World Star because they took it down a World Star. Yeah, that's independent. You can do whatever you want on a World Star. Oh, really? I thought they don't play they make their own rules. Yeah, remember when lose World Star. Yeah.

Remember when only fans was like, we're gonna take down porn stars and then like, no, we're not. Yeah. We have tons of porn stars. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's such a fucking move. Yeah, it was American tour. It's a security. It's a security camera. It's right. Dude, it's a security camera.

So those are the most real one. Dude, and these four guys are standing around, track drives by with machine gun, mose them down. One of them, I wonder if this is it here. One of them doesn't get hit, three of them go down. One of them, I wonder if this is it here. One of them doesn't get hit, three of them go down. One of them steps in front, they all have guns, but they have pistols. And then they start firing back with machine guns.

That guy gets hit. They all are now laying around. And the guys come back with their machine guns to finish off. And the guys are clearly dead and they fucking Just unload yes One guy's bullets run out and he grabs the other guy's gun It's fucking so gnarly. Wow. It is one of the wildest things Oh, I don't know what you're looking at. I don't know either. I'm just thinking about it.

It's not it. It's it, I was like, and then it was shown to me with all my friends' phone. I was like, and I was like, he's like, no, check out this angle. I was like, I think I'm good. Remember the Epstein video? Which one?

The reporter. And it was like one of the firsts. It was pre-YouTube. Really? 2002 in like Iraq, Afghanistan. I think his name is Epstein beheading. Oh No, no, no, that wasn't Epstein that was that guy's name Jeremy. Jeremy something. Oh, was it? Maybe maybe that's a kid from my class. Yeah, dude Yeah, and they and he was like, oh, they told me to say this

But yeah, and they don't I always a picture of the heading is one chop. It was chop after chop after chop. I wanna see if I have this, if he sent it to me or not. What, the carto? Yeah, let me see. We gotta recreate that somehow, but with like piss video.

Oh, can you recreate that in like piss video. Oh. Can you recreate that in a piss video? That four guys come out and piss all over the other guys. And then come back and just shit on their dead, they're prone dead bodies. Skanks fast, 20.22. Yeah. Dude, the shit you're doing that I've heard about from your mom house live.

Yeah. I can't afford the five books, but like I've heard, like it's, it's wild. The reports I'm getting great job. Yeah, I can't afford the five books, but like I've heard it's, it's wild. The reports I'm getting great job. Thank you. God damn. It's pretty, the fucking ring toss game. That was awesome.

Wow. Wow. Yeah. Because at first I was like, I was just gonna be like a live version of a podcast. Like, no, no, no, no. We always try to step it up. Yeah.

Yeah. There was a, do you have those on your hard drive? The like the heavy stuff If you have the if you have the the the scalpel one you should scalpel one. Oh, I just I don't know. Yeah. I don't think I got it. No, no, no, no. You got it.

Okay. Uh-oh. So the other thing is you've always been like, man, I feel like a decade. You're like the only guy who does this, but I really, I really like that you actually will live this life of like tour and then you're like, I'm gonna go spend time

somewhere in the world. Yeah. During the pandemic, didn't time somewhere in the world. Yeah. During the pandemic, didn't you do Columbia? Ecuador. Ecuador. Can I say something? Do you like it? Left.

How long do you stay down there? Six months. Yeah. It was, I mean, nothing was going on much. Did you travel within Ecuador? Yeah, but you couldn't, I was gonna go over the border to Peru, but land borders were closed. I'd already been to Colombia.

I wanted to get a serious lockdown in Peru too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we would track them. Ecuador was pretty good. They had their shit early. And so, I mean, just for harshness, the morts got overwhelmed in that first April. And so they were piling up bodies in the streets. And there were these videos of school kids

walking to school and just passing piles of bodies. Holy shit. So after that Ecuador is like, whatever we got to do, we're not worried about like human rights or anything like that or civil liberties. We're just like, we'll wear the mask. We'll do whatever. Let me see. I got it. I got the uh, what? The gunman? Yeah. For the scuffle. I'm going to set it to the dove. Okay. It is still a world star. Oh, great. Look at that. We'll off back and down. I Guess I got taken down from their Instagram, but my point is like

It's like what about yeah, there's always a double standard. Yeah, it's lame And you don't want to put you on like play have it like because you know they're gonna be like sweet We'll take that down to you know, just leave it all up make the internet free again But yeah, I traveled around, we got a car, went with my dog, and just fucking traveled around the country. Amazon. You and your girlfriend? Boyfriend. Boyfriend?

Yeah. Yeah. And band it. And just fucking. You brought your dog down there? How was that? Easy. You can't show that.

Hold on. No, no, no, come on. I thought there was a needle no come on no come on stop No Stop it. What's he doing hold Hold on, hold on, hold on. No! Give it a second. Oh! Stop it! Why is he fucking reacting? He's not even flinching. Oh! Come on!

Wait. Oh! Oh! That's your mom's house life. You did it to himself. Yeah. Do you? Okay. Imagine if you closed out your shows like that. That was a closer. That's a closer. Yeah

Did that guy do it for your mom's house live? I don't think so. You found the footage. Yeah Pretty cool, right? Oh And now he didn't even seem like you cared you think you shot himself up first So we didn't feel it. Oh. I don't know. But he clearly, that wasn't the first time he's ever done that.

No, he wasn't like, what's he was gonna be? Yeah, he's like, if you do it right here, then the streamer blood will come out. Oh. But like, if you two took that down, you'd be like, or Instagram, you'd be like, no, no, no, yeah, yeah If you said was like no more accounts for you, you'd be like I got it. I I keep the bear I put scalples through the head of my dick. I know That fucked with you. It's a lot. He wasn't't moving. And you couldn't even understand what it was at first

because the light was shining on the scalpel. So it looked like it looked like a needle that I was like, oh, is he gonna... Right. He had that way about him. You ever saw one guy, one jar, you know, one guy, one glass, whatever it's called? Do you remember that one?

Like two girls, one cup was the thing. So then it became one guy, one jar. You've seen that Dude this is doing the same thing to me that the fucking beheading video did whereas like I was fine in the beginning and then after a minute This is what's crazy put your headphones in Yeah, put them in for this you never seen this Cuz you got to have volume you want volume I have volume. Well, this is gonna clear the palette from the other day Because but this is a sorbet of

Your mom's house. No, this has never been on your mom's house. I just remember that like seagord.com those websites. I just meet I don't think it earned that title, but just watch this. Because, hold on, hold on, let's, what will happen in this? He's got a laptop behind him, he's got a cup on the floor, and he's not wearing, it could be wearing shorts, but he could be wearing shorts, but he's barefoot. He's barefoot, and it's like what,

I think of is when you said like, oh, this guy, he's not really reacting. So it's like, oh, it's somebody who routinely does this thing. You know know go ahead Okay, he's got a tiny dick It's but see how he's got cuts inside his oh yeah, he's had oh no Oh, he's getting a whole cup in his butt. Yeah, it's glass Oh, broke all the blood's got to come

You get here like all the glass pieces though and it's like it's he liking this seems like he's not really flinching oh he's got so many cuts on the inside of his thighs and legs you know that's a lot of I mean it's a lot of blood and he doesn't even have most of the glass out yet What is he doing? Now he's like I think I should take this thing out So he does this routinely Clearly yeah, he's fallen on the glass basin before. Why is he picking it out? His dick kind of looks like a...

Did he try to break? It looks like he's wearing a condom, right? It looks like a sea horse. Yeah, it does look like a sea horse. He drew little eyes on it. Yeah, right in the left. Yeah. This is your fan sending you these? You're not researching this.

Oh, this is like a 15 year classic. It's a classic, yeah. We never played this. But that's just so much blood. And I just always remember that. Shit, they're all. I always remember that he doesn't flinch. He's not like, ah, he's not like moving around.

Like, oh my god, this hurts. Does it hurt his fingers? I don't think he doesn't flinch. He's not like, ah, he's not like moving around, like, oh my god, this hurts. Does it hurt his fingers? I don't think he really thinks about that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You know what finding is? This is a comic. That's a lot of blood. That's what I think about your vaccine status. My favorite part. Yeah, I know. I feel bad too. What kind of life do you build? These poor guys have been desensitized.

They prep these clips with Post-it notes over the monitor. So they just have to look. They don't see it. It reminds me of there was a guy who used to work at Google, I think, to decide what cannot go on the internet. Like what can't be snuff films, just like that. He have to watch all those. Oh yeah, he was in, within two years,

it's like I'm suicidal. Like, yeah. That's like definitely not gonna lie. You've seen the worst things ever. Yeah. I'd like to interview that guy. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, so do you have a link?

I'm gonna be there, just like, I'm gonna tell you like. I had Chris Allen in my podcast, you know him? Chris Allen? Yeah, it's in comic from Virginia. But he comes up to New York a lot. But he has PTSD from Korea, not back then. Yeah. For watching, he had a log in stuff.

He had to watch live drone attacks. Oh, yeah. So he's like seeing like, oh, that guy's about to die in law. And it's like, he's like, you're not there, but it's like, he just gets to you after a while. I'm sure. So what? I still prefer that to fucking that thing.

Scalpel or cup, which was worse? Tom. That's an excellent question. But to commend just the fucking interview skills you have. Scalpel. Scalpel. I think so. Lou Shards are a problem. Did you not get all that out and an ink coming out clean? Well then you said scalpel though. Scalpel is what I'd go for. Oh you'd go for? Yeah. You think that jar is worse.

What about you? He tried to break that glass, right? He got down, he wasn't trying to envelop it. Well, here's what makes me think that he definitely tried to break it. The inside of his thighs are all cut up. So he's like, one of the fun things I do is I break. Because why not get the asshole?

And then there's glass cuts me everywhere. Yeah. Otherwise why not use plastic? If it's just for the shape, he'll get in and then he like, squeeze it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's part of the, it's the routine for him. The bonus would have been if he came during that.

If you can maintain an erection during that. God, dude, that a fucking effect in me bro. Yeah. I'm usually immune from this shit. How does Brad handle that? Uh, Barg doesn't like it that much. I don't think, yeah. I don't usually show him that many.

Did you convince him that Barton Springs was named after him? He'd buy that. Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot, right? Yeah. Yeah. So you're liking it here. I haven't seen you in too long.

It's been a, how long? It's been a minute, right? Yeah. So you're liking it here. I haven't seen it in too long. It's been a, how long? It's been a minute, right? What's the last time I saw you? It's a long time, I remember. Sorry. You look blonder, but you just did another, or you did? Yeah, I trimmed it and dyed it. I might do it again.

But you also did another one of your trips. Yeah. You just got back from DR. Oh yeah. Dude, have you been? Yes. It's once. It's once, yeah. It's great. And I didn't even go to like the resortie parts. Yeah, I flew into San Diego, but we went to a resortie

part. It was years ago though. Yeah. Do you ever make it? I was getting food from this place like real like legit place, Cheecharrone and whatever the version of Bologna's the Fongo, stuff like that. And it's I kept going back to the same place. My Spanish is so so. Yeah yeah food Spanish is pretty good Yeah, but when I'm like, you know like what is that and they tell you like I don't know why I asked yeah Yeah, so that's how might yeah, let's say pojo. It's like fine. By the way, it's like all right I made a connection with the guy fucking ladling it out. Uh-huh and eventually I'm like You know tennis

But fun guys like see it's like he's telling me like this sausage. I was like okay like that And I guess I had done that too many times in the last see, and he's like, he's telling me like, this sausage is good for that. I was like, okay, like that. And I guess I had done that too many times in the last few days, and he's like, oh, you're the this guy. Oh, really? So then he's like, trust me, trust me. I'll get you this, I'll get you that. Oh, it's so fat, he's so fucking good.

Their food is awesome, man. Skirt steak, Mofongo. The fresh hugo is so good everywhere. Anywhere in the tropics get the fresh juice anytime you pass a place. It's gonna be a dollar and it's never not amazing. So where did it like when you sent a Domingo, most people like you said, especially like Americans would go

to one of the resort places. It's not probably. But are there other Americans kind of in and about in send a Domingo? No, I got recognized once by a Venezuelan guy who like watch his podcast That's it, which is great for that. Where how did you find like where you were gonna stay in San amina? Ian Laura, so once I was like I'll go there because I was looking for direct flights from Boston

I was like I got some time off. What flies direct from Boston? So it was either Haiti that or Cuba and then I figured like I'll save Cuba for like I asked Bobby Kelly If you want to come he's like not now, but later so I was like I'll put it off And so then I just like, I'll put it off. And so then I just like, who's a Dominican comedian? And so then Ian Laura was just my tour guide. So what do I gotta do? He's like, you know what, baseball, right?

I'm like, no, they have baseball there. Oh, yeah. I was, yeah, I was pulled as a playing. It's like massive for the first time in his career. So he told you where to stay? He told me like, what neighborhoods? And I was like, what neighborhoods are safe? What's not?

What's like, cool. Yeah. Yeah, Airbnb, roof smokes so many cigars. You did Airbnb? Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah, I like like being a, you know, in a neighborhood. Yeah, sure.

God damn, what was fucking nice. Good place. Totally fine. Yeah. Yeah, and then like, yeah, great roof that night, you can smoke a last cigar, get up in the morning, smoke another one. All those fucking cigars, it's such a culture of it there. Yeah. So everyone just smokes, you get like cappuccino with a rum in it,

and nobody looks at you weird, it's like, it's on the menu. Yeah, yeah. Okay, you're changing it with rum. It's how you start your day. Yeah, yeah. It's great. Everyone does dress up a lot. So you want to wear like shorts and a t-shirt and just like don't.

It looks like an asshole. Oh, they wear like nicer clothes. Long sleeve shirts and you just like that. I do. It was nice. You don't feel like a tourist. Yeah, but I mean like even like here, well yeah, there's countries where you see that more. But even here I feel like you know, especially in comedy we're so like in the t-shirt jeans thing.

It does kind of feel nice when people dress up a little bit. Don't fucking wear flip flops at night. They're talking to it's art seat. You're in right now. Yeah, he has his own line of fucking trash footwear. Yeah. By the way, Brad, you're fucking trash footwear has made it now to Tahiti. Not sorry, not Tahiti.

Whatever, I just want to make it a republic. Hawaii and Ecuador. It was in the fucking Galapagos. They are good flip-flops. They are good flip-flops. Yeah. Yeah. They have to be to support.

To support that kind of way. Yeah. They need to be cushioning. Yeah. Oh, make us do that. I haven't seen him in a while. He's pretty big. That Mickey Managing is going to die off soon.

Yeah. He got up to about 268. Really? A couple weeks ago. So then he started. Then he did a cleanse for five days. That's not ridiculous enough to be an exaggeration. If you said like, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no it how you doing it? Thinking it was like a month. He's like, I'm done today. I was like, that's five days. The thing that kills him is kids are old enough now to be like, Dad, what are you doing?

Oh, it's for sure. Yeah, his kids are he's a senior in high school. Damn. Yeah. He, it's a it's that, you know, first of all, he brings Dave, who's a fucking grill master? He brings a slow cooker. Yeah. A nice slow cooker, a fucking... Yeah, he has a grill and a smoker. A smoker on the road with him. Yeah, and here's the thing, I think, you know,

if I brought it, I'd be like, I don't know, maybe one day we'll use it. Dave does it every night. Dave, yeah. Dave had it too. It's so good. Yeah. We're in Madison together and we're in Mech's door to each other.

And so it was like afterwards we just ate. And you're like, you eat this every night? And then they're like, yeah. And then they of course they drink. Of course they drink. So like if you're your partying and then. I like the two versions of Bert's Tours where the Bert version is like, no, no, sometimes, you know, we eat it.

And then you ask anyone, so I'm like, every single night. I think we have one night where we didn't. Or like, Bert has this other thing where he's like, well, you know, a never drink on stage, never drink on stage. And you're like, okay. And then he'll be like, we were in Denver. It's like, you know, a second show,

I'm like six cocktails and you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what? How does that really happen? You're like, you just said you'd never drink on stage. He's like, well, after the first show we drank and then I always bring a drink on stage on the second show. And you're like, yeah, but you just said, I never drink on stage. He's like, well, after the first show we drank, and then I always bring a drink on stage on the second show. And you're like, yeah, but you just said,

I never drink on stage. And he was like, why didn't think you would remember that? From a man. And then he also is like, and I also don't remember that. I don't remember that. That I just said that. So he drinks drink. And his favorite is also like, I'm never on Twitter.

I'm like, you're only on Twitter. Yeah. All of us that I don't drink on stage. Yeah. Just hilarious. It's hard to keep up with them. I've had to water some plants. So when he came, just like, really?

Oh yeah. He came here and they worked out. They worked out because this is when he just got in. He was like, cleanse and his guys. The guys that run with him were like, this is a real nice break. This is a real nice break. From what, from regular life with him.

Yeah. Because the problem is, so here's the New York issue. You're out, you're like, oh, I drank yesterday in the day before, I'm not gonna drink tonight. And then you get there and Marille and Joe Mackey, and Norman are all drinking. And you're like, well, I guess I'll have five, yeah, five, you know, whiskeys.

Yeah. It's like hard not to, but we're gonna, but Perkets going, how are you gonna be like, nah? Yeah, if you're with him, you know, whiskeys. Yeah, it's like hard not to with them. We're gonna work. It's going. How are you gonna be like nah? Yeah, if you're with him, I mean, I'm probably one of the only people that just like stops with him Everybody else is like I want to be a part of the party, you know, I tried keeping up one time in Calgary Give him with him. Yeah, and I was I'm gonna throw up so many times disappeared I'm gonna throw up so many times. Disappeared. Kept puking.

Kept puking. It just fell asleep in a public bathroom stall. And he was fine. He was gone though. What happened to you? I'm like, I tried, it's care to keep it. Oh, I do have one man before it completely went like vague. Yeah.

Of him, we're walking and I'm already drunk, Jameson's. Drake for Drake. And I'm like, oh, whatever you, I'll do it. It's just a mistake. And I just have a man of him going keep it together Really? Yeah, I handled yourself the best thing is that that next morning When you're like I think I'm gonna die today. Yeah, and like I'm not gonna leave this hotel room

He's like I went on a jog I he rebounds a shot a promo video.. The same way, we did it like 21. Yeah, he hasn't stopped yet. Yeah. And that's just because the alcohol never leaves his system. That's a constant. I just run through. I thought alcohol level of normal.

Yeah. I would like to have a driving, you could set this up on a closed course, drunk driving with Bert. Man, I bet he's awesome. I bet he'd be great. I bet he'd be great. Yeah.

We should do that. Yeah. We should close it. Extra safety harnesses, whatever. Close a course. And have cops come and do it. Yeah, with those tires. And they'll be like, I can't, but he passed.

He fucking passed. Yeah, like that. Seafing can double the beat, you know. And have him blow like a 0.45. Yeah, like he's just like the touch and nose. I know. Yeah. Through the alphabet backwards, he's fine.

And they're like, how are you doing this? How I live, Doc? I'm setting the curve. Dude, we have to do that. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, and see everyone else just like, immediately like, no, straight to the tires. I, we have to do that. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I see everyone else just like immediately like no strained to the tide. I guess we have to let them go.

I guess. I guess. Du Brito and Canadian once were arguing a long time ago, when I was still doing a skeptic tank at Red Bands back in those days, they said it should be not based on blood alcohol, but tolerance should be part of it. Absolutely. Because like there's be part of it. Absolutely. Because there's different levels of drugs.

Yeah. You mean it's how I mean that after six beers, it's up, he needs to be off the road. Why? Yeah, why? It's fine. I asked him for directions. Yeah.

Yeah. If I was two beers in and he was seven, I'd be like, you should drive. You should drive. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Same way, man.

I mean, I don't think he's even remotely affected by that. It's like me or other people with like weed. Yes. So like, you're too high a drive. I'm like, I'm too high to live, but no, not to drive. Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine to drive. How high do you think your tolerance is now?

It's off for sure now. It's off. It's low. Oh, because you've been like, you haven't been spoken. It hasn't spoken as much. In Ecuador, because you haven't been supposed to. Having snog as much an Ecuador, we got one fucking chunk of fucking pissed on weed that was so strong. I mean, maybe the strongest have had the most psychedelic weed I've ever had.

Yeah, you know, the most psychedelic weed I ever had was in Peru. And I was like, is this weed? Because it did look the same. And it was like, it was some type of plant, so you're like, this doesn't look like we, and also, I think I gave the guy, because my cousin was like, we'll get it from this guy at school.

I wanna say I gave him 20 or 40 bucks, and it was a brick. I was like, 30 bucks for an ounce. This is a lot, man. Yeah, I was like, no, my spouse is wrong, no, for a gram. And he's like, no, no, whatever he said, outwards, and I'm like, wait, I had to look at my eye translate.

I'm like, I thought I was like, get an o-ron, like, you sure? So I smoked the first night. I have photos of myself from that night. And I'm like, like, so fucked up. And I'm like, I'm like, 20, 21. And I brought a friend with me in american and i'm with my cousin we're fucking

absolutely i think i have visiting chili revisiting peru peru uh... and i sent to my cousin the other day i was like a look at how i remember this is me that night ha ha ha ha ha white thing cook. And damn.

Yeah. I'm super fucking loaded. Oh, yeah, let's glassy eyes, bro. Yeah. Yeah. But here's the thing. That's when you don't look that bad. Yeah, that's when we're still having fun. Oh, right. And what happened was later, you got a zone out. He put his one to be on this. Yeah, you don't look that bad off. Yeah, but that's a walk-eyed.

Yeah, I am walk-eyed. Well look at, I mean that one there, the one lower. I don't know if you can see it, but. I missed that level of getting high. But what happened was later, I was like, man, I'm cold. And my cousin, my friend, I'm like, you are? I start shivering. Which is a thing.

There's like this medicinal, or this, or hot and get too cold. Yeah, but like actually getting cold is a real thing that can happen. Usually happens with edibles, if you eat like super strong ones. If you look it up, it's like like edible leading to and there's like a term that's actually a real term that affects your body temperature, forgetting cold. But then I was like you hear those trains and they were like, what? And I thought there were

there were trains coming and there were like there's no trains around here and I was like and then you're like, why are you lying to me? I was out of my my head with it but the next night we smoked again and My friend it wasn't even like a bit. He was like I hear those trains And he was like he like he went overboard the next night. We were fucked up It wasn't like a regular high. Yeah, you know, I was like hearing sound Meruvian weed dude. It was what the fuck is that I don't know what I said because it's all the same andies and and also it didn't look like weed even

This was all packed in and fucking smash it lasted so long It was heavy what we bought would have lasted me months and it was for like three days when we can Yeah, I left it there. I was like you do I was like you can have this shit. This was like, who wants it? I was like, you can have this shit. This was $20. I tried to send some other travelers. You did? I was like, take some of ours.

Yeah. You know, Tony's got fucking, we can't smoke this type anymore. No, no. Yeah, it was just, it was different. I mean, the same thing when I was in Europe and tried to buy weed, it was like, this was like in college, everybody was just

like, oh, you mean hash? And I was like, no, I don't. Yeah, that's a weird European thing. Hash instead of weed. And it's way stronger. Sprinkling it on tobacco. And I was like, this is not what I want. Yeah.

You bring your American attitude to Europe now. Yeah. And they can't handle. Like I was in Edinburgh with sloss and and Kai Humphries and a bunch of other people and just like you know they were smoking out there with their little dumb whatever. Yeah. Like a drop of weed and altabacco and then I was like oh roll joint too. And then I'm like smoking it passing it and it goes around once and somebody goes was that a pure like

yeah. Never heard that term before. Angry at me. Oh, cause you got him too high. Yeah, but like, what the fuck do you got to warn people? I'm like, warn people what a joint is? This is a joint. Yeah, that's a joint. So it's gonna be all pure. It's weed and paper.

And then that is that not common there? No. No, weird. I got thrown out of a bar, me and my friend smoked outside of an outdoor patio bar and we smoked smoked like outside the entrance to the patio Hmm, and then I was like I'm gonna go in the bounce like no way man. That's all you do What did I do? Like yeah outside your he goes be respectful. I'm like I did I didn't do it in the patio

It was out and he did let you know what let me in I don't try to go to another bar because a pop up for the fringe. Yeah, they called ahead What? I said don't let the guy in I don't understand though. Yeah, cuz you're too high to be around people and in their eyes Or it was like in a front it was like doing hair in front of them or something or like I don't know It was like so you got there and they're like we know about you. Yeah, I'm like it's the same as Instagram I don't know what the fucking rules are I'm doing it fine. I know what's gonna smoke in your patio. How do you think they described you when they called from the first part of the second part?

I'm not doing this. I would just say it's kind of like, parts of his face go down instead of straight. You know that guy at the bank? That's it. That's the most common like. You think he just did a screen grab of that and he was like, this guy's coming.

He sent that over. It's out of that of the Ari Cat. That's the most common. The Ari Cat's really funny. It's crazy. It's crazy how much that cat looks like me. It's true and it doesn't make you feel as racist when you, or you see it posted, right?

That's really good. That's crazy. I made it into a t-shirt, I was wearing it. And Monroe Martin was like, ah, it's funny, you photoshopped the cats a little like you and like straight picture Bro, picture of a cat straight up picture. Yeah, you have that shirt. Yeah, you sell that you're in the background That's awesome Is it at rshfr.com? It is at rshfr.com as are my dates. I'll be in Cleveland. I'm sorry Denver and

January whatever it's called. It's February and Vancouver's probably sold out already at the end of the month and SLC's so the oh me and Bobby Calli and Big J are doing a couple dates in Michigan. Really March 25th 26. Yeah, three of you. Yeah, three of us just having fun doing like a road trip I just like driving from spot to spot. Yeah, I feel like that that I'm fun doing like a road trip, but just like driving from spot to spot. Yeah, I feel like that camaraderie is bigger in New York, right? Yeah.

Like let's get together and do something fun. Because even in LA where I had like a whole bunch of people, I knew there really wasn't that vibe. I wonder why. It might just be that the subway is like, we can all go home anytime. I think there is a part of it. And we run from spot to spot.

So it's like, are you going to the cellar? I'll walk with you. You see like for in LA you might see First of all, there's less places that you would do it, you know shows Yeah, you might see people a couple of times But yeah, I think being in cars and driving 45 minutes is a big part of like Well, just keeping your distance from people Yeah, I really shut off you have to be in the world in New York everywhere you go in the subway that you can't you don't drive at all So subway or cabs like I mean cabs I guess you're alone, but like you just you walk in this fucking thousands of people around you Mm-hmm. I don't know, but yeah, we do have more of a camaraderie. You do

I would definitely do some shit. That's very cool kind of job of it. It's fun It's fun for sure. The comics in New York are just like, they're wild. They stand up for each other. They're just like, out there, we're having fun. We're just like, yeah, I don't know. It's a good time. Yeah.

I don't think that can actually be replicated elsewhere. I think you need the city to exist the way it does. You could probably develop a certain thing in a similar type of city. In other words, a Hong Kong, or London, probably has that type of camaraderie, you know. Yeah, you also, you went to China before I did, didn't you? I went to a Hong Kong Singaporean Macau in 20, no, 12, no 14.

2014, that was right before I went. Yeah. Yeah, damn, it's so fun out there. Yeah. So foreign. It is so foreign. And you're just like, I don't even, like even if, I don't even have Yeah, damn, it's so fun out there. Yeah. It's so foreign. It is so foreign. And you're just like, I don't even, like even if I don't even have been to France,

I have not, but like, it's like you can read the street signs. Yeah. You don't know what they mean. Yeah. You know, or in Dominican Republic, I can read what this ingredient is. Yeah. But damn, it's like, I don't know what these symbols are.

I don't know what that food is. Yeah. Not everything is a role that dies there. So people are shitting in the streets and it's fucking not even embarrassed. They're just like, what? This was in the mainland though. This is mainland.

Yeah, mainland's way different. mainland. Hong Kong is a trip, man. They have this expression there. Fuck, I forget it about like you come to the city and then you are lost to the city. And it was an expression meant to describe why people who visited just never leave.

They're like the city. I've had friends with the comedy scene there because I was just like, I was the end, it was the last eight days of like an 18, 17 day tour. So I was real social. I had been like lonely and then like real opened up. And one of them, my friend Sarah was like, this is like summer camp.

We're all here on like even the businessmen and the bankers are here on three or five year contracts. So they know it's not permanent. So it's just like, why not drink on a Tuesday? Why not do whatever any time? And the city is just like, if you pull up an image of like an aerial shot of Hong Kong, it is impressive.

The, just like the landscape, you know, like. Clean and modern, and some temples, and some like, we're old stuff too. And enormous. Like you think that you're seeing the whole city and you realize you make a turn, and you're like, oh, there's a whole other stretch of this. Like it's-

Long Kwaifang was so cool. Everyone just drinks in the streets, and then once you open a 7-11, so all the bars, you buy a drink at a bar, and then go into the street and drink it. And the 7-11's like, you can also just buy a beer here for like two bucks, and then drink it next to the guy at the bar.

Yeah. They also, the cost of living in Hong Kong is so high. I mean, yeah. They were talking, because here in the States, people always talk about San Francisco, New York, and that's so much. But that shits all over. Like the prices? They were talking because you know here in the States people always talk about San Francisco, New York But that shits all over like the prices There's like one bedroom that are 20 million dollars there and they're like oh, and they sell they sell like gone You ever see this tiny apartments in Hong Kong. Yeah, yeah, my friend happens like drawers

Yeah, my friend one of those you can't open the door all the way at this bed in there Mm-hmm, and you have to sneak around it and it's yeah, it's just like a hop. Yep. Yeah, my friend had one of those and got late in it in that Yeah, he must have some serious game. Yeah game. Oh, this is a second person in that one. Yeah, wait is that a child? Yeah, is he raising a child there? Yeah doing his best man Bunk of Jesus. I mean, why are you living in that's how they lived in the fucking can. Probably doesn't have any other. Like that's what happens. Like they're really recreating the fucking Bergen Belzen. We're fucking will willfully. Yeah, it's because of of

can you do a side by side of a tiny home on Kong versus a fucking concentration camp? That's work. You can do that on the skeptic tank. Keep this channel alive. Yeah, good point. Like what I've learned so we didn't show the audience that scuffle going to dick. I had you know.

What would you take? What would you take? Oh, we brought it back there, huh? I think I would have to do the Scop, just because of, I mean, if you put that jar plastic, I would try to get it up my ass. But the last one, Tom. You would succeed in the plastic. Yeah.

You wouldn't try. I would do it. Yeah, you wouldn't try. I would do it. Yeah, you do it. You accomplished a lot and you have a fucking go getter mentality. Yeah, seeing it through. Yeah, I think you would get it. Hey, thanks, man. Yeah, go.

I needed that today. Appreciate it. Yeah, you know what? I wouldn't try. I would get that fucking jar of my ass. But the scalpel thing. I guess I would have to do it versus the glass. It would be coming out weeks later and cutting you

on the way out. That was a hard one to watch. The scalpel was more visceral to me, but the glass got me in the gut. Yeah, like, that was going on there. You want to cleanse the pal with the dry buy? Yeah, like, like, you know what's going on there. You want to cleanse the pal with the dry by? Yeah, let's cleanse it up. Okay, this is a, this is the security camera.

Yeah. I like it. Should deter people from doing crime. Yeah, so this is what some viewers, yeah, it's all like video disturbing. It's pretty wild. These guys are just chilling there, right? Right. Right. Yeah, that's all we video disturbing. It's pretty wild. These guys are just chilling there, right?

Right. Look at this guy. He's popped out and this guy is not hit. So he goes to shoot. Everyone has guns on him. But then he gets hit. What is he doing? Because they're returning machine guns, you know. There you go. This guy in the wall. You see him? He's just like shooting up in the air. He's on the wall. He's just like shooting up in the air You're shooting back

And he's just like man, I'm bleeding a lot more than I thought I would yeah And this guy the cops are like you guys what you guys guys doing out here? I suck keep it down. Yeah But then those hitmen come back They're coming back Wait, we ran that we ran that 10 seconds before that last one Yeah, yeah, it's pretty gnarly man He was trying to crawl in there I think right yeah, but then this is not even the worst part Then this guy comes these guys come on they get the guy inside no, or was that just a business owner? Yeah, he's just a business owner. It seems like it. Man, he came out bravely. Oh, man, you guys are all dead.

Oh, man, you guys are all dead. Oh, man, you guys are all dead. Oh, man, you guys are all dead. Yeah. Oh. He, look, he's like, give me your gun. Give me your gun. He's really pissed this guy.

Oh, man, you're so dead. If this was in the York people, like, all right, already. Yeah. Oh my god. Now, I want to say, I thought, I didn't even verify that this had to be cartel Mexico stuff. I didn't even check. What, was it not? Well, I don't know.

I just saying that I assumed that, like, my friend showed it to me. Did it say? That just happened, 12, 7. Yeah, it just happened. They tried playing dead and that didn't even work. I don't think they tried playing dead. Yeah, they didn't try playing dead. Who fucking bad headline?

Football. It doesn't say where it is. It does say it says Puerto Rico? Wow. Wow. I wonder if that is correct as long as Puerto Rico says involved and Damn But it is it is narco stuff. I mean it's definitely like and all those those four guys all had guns on them

Yeah, they did it's all like Randos when they talk about crime term crimes sprees crime rates and stuff Yeah, they what what when people like you and me talk about it, we mean like not that. We mean like if a random if a like your wife was walking on the street, what are the odds? Something happens to her. Right. And this is like those um that's so brutal to watch though. Right. Oh my god. Uh those uh that coming back to make sure they're gone is like that was always missing from mob movies, for some reason, like, survived with like one shot, or a prison thing, shank and walk, finish it,

get the throat. Well, you could tell this is, I mean, I think it looks obvious that these are rival gangs, rival cartels. And, and that's why it's so, you have to like send the message, you know, like we filled them up with 50 bullets. That was a message. If I was the leader of the the the black

Dressed hotel. Yeah, I would be like guys, okay, you got it done 80 bullets ago. Yeah They're also free. Yeah, these are cost and money. Yeah Yeah, you know how many fucking drugs we got to give the kids to pay for these bullets? Yeah. You know what? You buy your own fucking bullets if you're going to act like this. Yeah.

Yeah. That's right. Yeah, I'm done. I'm done giving you bullets. Yeah, from now, oh, guess what? You get a knife now. Have you ever heard of tap, tap? All you got to do is go chest head.

Yeah. One, through the skull. Get closer. Yeah, yeah, one to the skull. Yeah, closer he's not fine but Bob and move. And why are you so emotional about this shit man? You can just see it I'm watching you. You're so fucking upset. You know how to kill without aggression? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Wow, can you imagine that life? They all had guns on them. Yeah, those guys are probably all on their 20s You know, you're see city of God. Yeah, I just thought fucking good movie. It's really good. It's really good

Don't that was fucking that was the least bad one of the three videos you've seen show me But kind of nice to cleanse the palette. Yeah, it really was Double survey. Yeah, the cappuccino of the other sorbet the palette. Yeah, it really was. It's double survey. It was the cappuccino of the other sorbet. Well, maybe call it a day. Did you do that with Bert? Nope. No. Okay. He's got a different sense of humor. Yeah.

Oh, no, I tried to curate some things for you. Thanks. Thanks, bro. Really, I really appreciate you laying on the carpet. No, I'm really happy you came by, man. curate some things for you. Now I'm really happy you came by, man, it's good to see you. Oh, yeah, I've got to stop dead. And you go on, are you leaving driving a San Antonio from here tonight? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, good.

Yeah, go to make sure RIP at RIP RIF here on Instagram, give them a follow. Go to RIF here.com. Look at tour dates. And yeah, I hope to see you guys. Maybe at arachifere will be back, if I can get fucking C.A. Yeah, but now you gotta follow his back

up with kind of like one of those hose. And they're, those hose that get their ass pick account taken down, they're like follow my backup, like hop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I still post hose shit over there. Yeah.

But yeah, on my tour dates at arachifupri.com and fuck us follow ho ass. I already All right, I love you. I'll see you guys. Bye juicy One goes top the swath the other wears a shirt Tom tells stories and birds the machine There's not a chance and hell that they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call, two bears one cave. No scripts to bid a booze, amateur, patology. Dirty jokes, ranchie humor, no apologies. Here's what we call, two bears one cave.

in case.