2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 13 - 2 Bears 1 Cave 2 w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: November 25, 2019

On today's 2 Bears 1 Cave the music video that shook the internet to it's core is first seen by Bert Kreischer. This episode was recorded right as Tom Segura dropped his legendary music video and we get Bert's first reaction to seeing it for the first time. Plus, Tom has just shot his NETFLIX special as Bert is gearing up to shoot his.

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Face to face, which is way better. I like this. This is like, it's how you podcast, I think. I like this more. It's awkward. It's damn true. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it like this. This is like, it's how you podcast, I think. I like this more. It's awkward. I'm just staring at you. We're as long glasses as fun. So, I'm Tom, he's burnt. Congratulations on the new special.

I'm so happy. Such a relief. It's a relief. It's like, it's like skydiving. It totally is, like for you guys, I mean, I know a lot of you guys obviously are deep into the comedy world, but like, you know but we do these tours. This was a 16 plus month tour for me.

I started last September, really, I made it an officially name, but that's when the tour really started. When you started writing the material. No, that's when I started actually touring with this material. So I started touring with it in September. I just didn't have the name attached to it, and then it went all the way through until, you know,

Saturday. Do you feel, I was saying this to Liam, I got fucking emotional on my podcast this morning, doing a read, I was just doing fucking ad reads. And I started crying, I couldn't help it. I did my last, technically my last body shots tour date in Salt Lake City, I'm doing Cleveland this week, but it's for the taping.

It doesn't feel like a tour, it just feels like a taping. And I realized I was no longer gonna say body shots world tour. All right. Because I've said it so much, and I was like, I got a most shot start, final stage. I said it to Leanna, I said, you know, it's really bizarre as you,

you write the material, you fall in love with it. Then you work it, and it gets tight, and you really are married to it because you fall in love with it. Then you work it, and it gets tight, and you really are married to it because you're murdering with it. Then there's a period we get bored with it. Then there's a period you're embarrassed of it. And then there's one weekend where you have to, it's almost like you have to rekindle

a relationship with it, and make it like it was brand new again. It's weird to think you'll never tell those jokes again unless it's the machine story? Uh, uh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That is the, actually the perfect summary of the relationship with it.

And one of the things I did because there's like a few times doing this now is, um, I would abandon some of the bits for months at a time. Oh, I've tried done that. That I knew that I would pull back. And like I would just, and into the point where people were like, oh, you know, people who are around me, like you stopped doing that bit.

And I was like, for now, because then I'll do it next month and I won't be as sick of it, you know, because you build it up. But yeah, I mean, I also felt like, you know, it's like in comedy, we never express like sincereness. Yeah. Because it's like everyone's like, not funny to be. But like I do feel tremendous gratitude for for like the position I'm in for the like just for the tour going the way it did for the people that like, you know, I would go I go out after the tapings and I thank the audience and I, you know,

I like, I really mean it like yet. I go, you I thank you the audience and I, you know, I like, I really mean it like yet. I go, I thank you for making this happen, you know, because I know it wouldn't happen without them. So, yeah, it's amazing when you think like it, it really is. The amount of gratitude you have is, I always look at those people who don't give a fuck about their fans and like, fuck them. And I'm like, I remember, I'm not, I'm not shitting on him, but David Cross was very adamant to mock anyone who was appreciative of their fans. I remember going, I love David Cross. Dude, I watched him.

I watched him in San Francisco. In like maybe a 3000 cedar, just fuck around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, bro, get me there. I need literally. Walked out with a notebook, was like, ah, let's see what works. Yeah.

I was like, what the fuck, how the fuck? Dude, he had had a joke. I forget what it was. I ran into him. And it was one of the fucking funniest goddamn jokes. And he was about abortion or something. It's something horrible. Yeah.

Something horrible. His, his, his great, this great theory, I don't know where I saw this, but his dad walked out on him and he was like 12. And he said, what if that's like a gene? He was talking about it on like 60 minutes or something. He said, I get afraid that what if I've got that gene too? That gene, we really just don't care

and you get to a certain point. You're like, you know, I thought of like a family, but I don't, so I'm out. And he was like, what if I got that gene? I was just such a weird way to look at parenting. So I'm like, I- It's also like what gets you, I think as a comedian gets me excited is whenever somebody articulates a thought

You have never heard that articulated dude, so like to hear that out of been like that's exciting. Yeah, great Fucking thought. Yeah, it's a great thought. I just you know What if I abandoned people It's really funny. Yeah, he's funny. He's but it is crazy. My favorite thing about David Cross is that he is a tremendously funny guy. He is so talented. By the way, as an actor, just anything that he's in, I giggle. I watch Alvin in the Chipmunks movies because he's in them and I laugh. He makes those movies tolerable.

Yes, he does. He literally makes those movies tolerable. He's so, so funny. But my favorite thing is that if you have followed David Cross, you know that he's a very liberal guy, very smart, very articulate, and a great comedian. And then he got more fame, like he did Mr. Show and all these things, but more fame, obviously, from a rest of the development, which was the greatest fucking show. On Fox, though, which gives you eight broader audience. And so for a while, that shows on David would announce

standup dates, and you have people who are like, that's the guy from a rest of development. That's the worst thing you need to go see if he's... They show up and they're like, he's gonna be like that. And then he's like sitting there like you know are you are you a mega dumb dumb and then they're like what happened you're like get the fuck out of here my god that's got I mean that I can almost taste how sweet it would be to sit in an audience and just

watch people be like why is he being mean about that? It would be so amazing. He's married to one of the founders of me too. Amber. Amber Rose? Tamblin? Amber Tamblin, yeah. She was in the sister of the traveling pants. Really?

Yeah, I'm part of it. I saw it. Okay, how was that? It was awesome. Really? Yeah, because I had any of those little girls finding their way in the life and establishing themselves as women

I connect with my daughters. So I'm like, oh, I hope my kids get to do that one time. Yeah, but he's married to her. Yeah. I think he's unbelievably funny. He's fucking great. And I love when,

if you had to be a, oh my God, did you watch Todd Margaret? Huh. Oh my God. The increasingly poor decisions of Todd Margaret. I already love the title of that. It is the funniest fucking. You can tell that what happened was he walked in with an idea that 99.9% of networks would

be like, are you out of your mind that you were gonna make this? And IFC was like, go ahead. And then he went, it's so fun. I can't even do it. What is it on Netflix? I, it did get licensed there for a minute because IFC made it. It might still be on there.

I wanna go see it. And then he did a like, I forget it was season two or three where it was like, Bizarro, where like he came back as another character, it was absolutely brilliant. As some of the hardest I've ever laughed as much. For real. Yeah. And I would meet like seven people that have seen it.

Do you think David Cross would like you? No. Yeah. Ha ha like so bad even. I met him. Well, you know what? Yeah. I feel like you would tolerate like a casual. Barely tolerated a handshake with me.

Look at you see that he looked at me like almost I went. Let me be clear. I think he likes you less than me. Oh, yeah. I'll he likes you less than me. Oh yeah. I'll give you the listed comments that would walk in the room and hate me immediately. Jerry Seinfeld. You think so?

Oh, 100%. Well, Jerry Seinfeld, not if he met you. If he saw your act. I think he saw my act. He saw my act. He saw my act. Just right away, he'd be like,

the guy doesn't have a shirt. But you know what sucks about that? Is that I would hope Jerry Seinfeld couldn't see past that? Because he has a very Seinfeld would appreciate you more as a comedian if he couldn't see you. If he was listening to your standup.

I'm serious. If he was listening to your standup, he would recognize the funny bitch and the funny storytelling. I just don't know me. There are people who listened to me on serious XM or on, definitely don't know. And they don't know that I'm shirtless.

There's probably people who listen to hundreds of hours of you who have been like, this guy's my favorite comic and they're gonna show up and be like, fuck, happen to this guy. He's the one who's following apart. Why is it shirt off? I think Jerry Seinfeld up and be like, fuck happened to this guy. He's the worst. He followed apart. Why does it shirt off? I think Jerry Seinfeld would just be like,

I don't get it. You know it's so funny. There's one person that I thought would absolutely hate what I did. Yeah. And he loved it. Who's that? Ron White.

Really? I walked off stage and I'm shirtless and he goes, ha ha ha, the shirt's off, huh? Like just like, like just like, just like, fuck it. But he's a good time. Yeah, he's a good time. He likes to have a good time. Yeah, I think he liked me.

Ron White? He'd probably be like, you're a little too fucking, why don't you loosen up? That's what happens with like people that I, sometimes they're just like, why don't you loosen up something, man? Yeah, you know, and I'm like, hmm.

Yeah, I think on paper, I don't know, the shirt thing was, it worked for me, but it's a weird thing, like Sebastian, I know Sebastian and our friends, but there's parts of my brother. I would assume that he would not like you, if I didn't. Yeah, if you didn't know,

there's parts of my personality where he just goes, like, Can you come off stage and he go, why would you take it off? He said to me one time. This is a little secret time. I hope no bad if he gets upset. I was getting ready to promote my special. These barely work. Go ahead. And I was taking video of all the comics at the store saying, what's the best way to enjoy a comedy special? And then I was using everyone's fame

to then say, hey, wait, sure to watch mine, the way Bill Burr or these people do it. It was just a market scheme where I was thinking about originally having people come down the store and doing interviews with them about Star Wars, about the first time they had Star Wars and then just take the Star Wars out, put it in my question. What did you think about bird special?

I'm like, it's amazing. It's amazing. I mean, obviously everyone's nervous. I remember when I first saw that I was like, this thing is unbelievable. Yeah. So maybe I'll do that with hardcore porn. I'll show them hardcore porn and then say, hey, what did you think of Tom's special? And they'll be like, it's fucking gross.

By the way, this special is pretty gross. So I asked Sebastian, I go, hey man, you mind if I get an interview with you real quick in the hallway, and you can see in his eyes, he's like, okay, you know when he's only, I'm by the way, I'm putting words of Sebastian's mouth. These are not what, none of this was said, but you could tell that he only did it because we had the same management. You could tell that he was like, I'm gonna fucking hear about this.

You know I don't do it. So he's like, okay. So I go, Sebastian, what's the best way to watch? So he goes, you know, with your family, a couple of sankha, like what I don't know what he said. Yeah. So he gets, I go, hey man, thanks a lot. And he goes, hey, can I tell you something?

And I go, yeah, and he goes, I would have never done what you just did. And I go, what? And he goes, and he just walks away. I couldn't tell it was a compliment. Yeah. Like because he was like, like, what the fuck it was on in your brain.

But there's a lot of what goes on in my brain where I go Where people see it and they go what the like the marching band getting the marching band you had a marching band promo How did you hire the marching what was like the procedure I just said I Heard a song I heard about I'll give you the whole backstory. Okay. I heard Gary Glitter's George and I were playing Gary Glitter's Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- I've just never heard somebody say you know done done. Oh, hey, you know Gary Glitter It's called rock and roll number two. Okay, and it's a really famous song and it was just in the Joker Oh, and Gary Glitter is a pedophile all right, so I

Get the I'm glad I said the word pedophile on this fucking show. Can't wait to that get chipped into something Fuck so this is Gary Glitter. He wrote, he wrote, oh, he's creepy as fuck. He went, yeah, he is gross. So anyway, you're saying you support pedophones? All right. So, let me just clean this one up for you. I mean, how old is old? You know, You know, so. Ha ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha.

So so fuck yeah, he's got a. Oh my God. By the way, I'm not to not to definitely fucking ruin my career, but there's a part of a glary glitter that says, like I read this whole thing on him after this, I'm all him saying, the media did this to me, the media did it to me, and then there's a part of the way the world works.

You're like, what if the media really did do this to him? But anyway, so I heard that song in the thing, and I thought that would be a cool way to announce the Birdie Boy US tour dates added in Nashville, which it's all Atlanta just the other day. Go to burperbird.com. General on sale, we've had a 10, I think 12 shows now. So I get the marching band.

I then Google that song to find it out and find out that a pedophile wrote it. And I'm like, I am not putting that in my comment section. So I already have the marching band. So I just call the marching band and I go, I don't know what we're doing. How did you have a marching band? I just reached out, I had my agent go find the marching band.

Oh, you're like, you said I'd go find my marching band. He goes, yeah, four grand. Talk of course, four grand for 15 people, you get them for an hour, more than an hour. All right. And I was like, fuck it, bring them over You go, yeah, four grand. Talk of course, four grand for 15 people, you get them for an hour, more than an hour really. And I was like, fuck it, bring them over to the house and we'll figure something out. And you also, in your credit, you did multiple promos. Yeah.

So, yeah, and so that, but I learned that, shout out to Hannah Stocking. Hannah Stocking is a fucking hilarious. But when she does anything online, whenever she creates something, she multi-sources that. Who's that? Hannah Stocking is this girl I did, a young lady I did, her YouTube show, it's like a fun show, but she does clips on Instagram that are hilarious, right? And what she does, so like maybe she'll dress as the woman from Shrek, Princess Fiona. Well, she'll shoot that sketch that she wrote for her Princess Fiona.

Then she'll shoot something else as Princess Fiona, like another thing. And then she'll go out in the street dressed as Princess Fiona. She'll shoot like five different things about Princess Fiona. Just to have. Just because she's like, I already put the makeup on.

Let's bang out content. And so I learned from her and I went, I'm gonna get this marching band. I'm gonna do like five different things with them. And those are the two funniest ones, but I brought them to the house and then I was like, you did that and then everybody gave me this shit for this so let's jump ahead.

You also have a new another private jet promo. So are you into the jets now? No, I'm done, I spent my money. You did? I can't afford it anymore. Did you love it? Oh my God, that's the greatest thing ever is the greatest fucking thing ever. I can only take a jet that'll fly for an hour.

Yeah. Just the record. I can't do the big size. No, they're crazy. But you know, if you look at cost-affected niffs, of what I, by the way, I use these jets. Like people, jets are very divisive on online. Yeah.

Really interesting, because, and I will use myself as an example. Anthony Bourdain took a picture of himself on a jet with some friends, and I wrote a shitty comment. Like, so I guess you're not, you don't keep it real anymore. You're a jack guy. You did that? By the way, I'm being honest. I'm being honest.

This was like nine years ago. Uh huh. And as soon as I wrote it, I went, you know what? If I got the opportunity to be on a jet, I'd take pictures. I definitely take pictures and I post them. And I go, I shouldn't. And so I deleted it, but I didn't delete it

in time enough for people to destroy me. And in a way that was very accurate, like, yo man, he doesn't do this every single day. He's done it a couple times, but it's an opportunity. It's not an everyday lifestyle. If you're on a jet every single day and you're doing it, then that's disgusting. And they go, if you were on a jet,

would you post pictures of yourself? And at the time, I was like, I wrote back no. And this guy posted a picture of me standing in front of a fucking private jet. And I was like god damn it I've done this. I've done it. I'm Who doesn't I mean you should have seen the fucking kids I took with me on the jet this time They were like a fucking puff daddy video. They were all you guys were in tracksuits

We're in tracksuits and it was you who me, Jesus Treho Dave Williamson Andrew Hobbs and my cousin my assistant Yeah, and Rory Lowe from Australia. He was my opener in Australia. He was out here, and I was like, man, if you're here, why don't you hop on the bus? I'll take you on a proper tour in the US. You can see what the US is like. And he did dates, and you?

And he did four shows with us. They loved him. He killed. That's great. And then he got on a private jet to end this fucking thing. He's like, this is the greatest. Where did you fly from where to where?

Oh, fucking Salt Lake City to LA. To LA. Is it the best to go home though? That's the best. Oh, what happened was my voice was shot. Yeah. And I was, and, you know, like I said, not, I can't tell you guys everything

because I'm sure I can get trouble for this, but like suffice to say there is a lot of amount of money that, that there's, I have a budget for this. Suffice to say there is an allotted amount of money that that There's I have a budget for this for for for for things like this like shooting videos. Yeah, yeah Creating content to I have a budget for I don't know how much I can say about this But I'm getting yeah, and so I Have this in that budget and so I was like I was like I'm losing my voice I feel like shit I don't want to spend the next day in the airport.

I want to be home with the girls. I want to work out Monday. I want to work out Tuesday. Get on the plane. I'm shooting my special this week. So I was like, you know what? Fuck it. I did it.

And we got the cheapest one we could get, which is not a fun way to fly. You're also had a, you're also posted a video of you on a single engine turbo prop plane. That's my fucking cousin Andrew. He hooked that up? He's like, he's like, Hey man, I gotta say jet to Fresno.

And I was like, nice. I go, I hooked it up. He's like, I hooked it up. He said, I got it. And I was like, oh cool. I said expensive, he goes, no, all we gotta do is play for fuel. And I know that it is, right?

Fuel's actually pretty expensive anyway. Yeah, it's a very expensive. But this fuel only costs 300 bucks. So I was like, how do we get 300 bucks? And then I'm like, it must be 3000. He must got it wrong. We get there. Yeah, it's definitely not 300 bucks.

It was 300 bucks. It was? Single engine fucking. It was 300 fucking bucks. Wow. And it was, and by the way, it was 300 fucking bucks. Wow. And it was, and by the way, it was a fucking really cool experience. Yeah. I flew it for the whole time.

Mm-hmm. It was a lot like your point lesson. Yeah. But what's crazy is, I found out that if that engine died, that we would then die. Like if something happened with that engine, you just die. That's awesome. It seems like it's perfect for you. You usually do well in those situations.

And I'm not drinking, right? Cause I'm trying to, I gotta show that night and I'm trying to cover my drinking for the special. And I was, dude, I was fucking panicked. I was so panicked and the guy goes, come on, fly it. And he's like, keep it at altitude. Take a right, take a left. And he's like, God damn it, own the plane and dives it.

And I'm like, mother, I lost my shit. And he pulled out, you can pull it out, you can control the plane and he's diving and I'm fucking losing my shit. Do you know what the guy did, though? The first time I did a flight lesson, what I go, what happens if the engine dies? He goes like this and he hits it off.

And I go, yeah, and I go, what do you just nose dive? He goes, no, you only nose dive if you go like this. And like sends us into a nose dive and I was like, oh! Dude, I was just cranking back on. You can see my shirt getting negative Gs in this. Watch my shirt getting negative Gs right here.

You see it in flake? Dude, I, I'm by the way, I will never be able to fly a plane. I came out with that, yeah. It was a really neat experience. That guy Keith was an amazing guy. You're like, thanks Andrew. And I got there, I got there. I was looking at my shit.

I go, Andrew, I'm sorry, we're getting in one of these and he was like, yeah, it's great. These are great. They're the same same, but they're just as nice. And I go, they're not Andrew. I go, we gotta wear help like fucking helmets in there and he was like headsets Yeah, I was so and he goes come on. We'll be fine. And I was like no. I have a fear of flying everyone I was taking a fucking Southwest up the Fresno. I go I would rather drive I would rather drive and he's like it's three hundred bucks

So you you do do great promos, but I made a promo video. Do you want to see it? Put your headphones on. You're going to dig this one. This is pretty cool. You're going to like it. All right, here's my promo video. Is it from Blackface? No, no, no. I just, you know, just wanted my promo video. Is it from a new in blackface? No, no, no.

I just, you know, just wanted to show you. This is awful. I mean, my god. Oh my god. You can't dance. Look at those tits. Oh, I don't know that. That's the hip thrust.

I'm gonna vomit. He's poor wife. He's a wife. Look at those little peepie. This guy's definitely racist, right? He probably stinks too. He's a wife. Look at those little peepie. This guy's definitely racist, right? He probably stinks too. He's poor wife. He's a wife? No, I think he's a little peepy.

This guy's definitely racist, right? I probably stink, too. Hey, Tom Saguora. You've been dancing your whole life. I know. Show this fool up. Woo! Woo!

Walk up in the tank. I beat on my game. If it's competition, I forget the same Please don't stand my style, I might touch you high What you doing now, I live for a while Woo-Dee, woo-Dee, woo-Dee I'm not fucking wrong, I'm a member on the bottom I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie I just feel no number one. What you doing? What you doing? What you doing? What you doing? What you doing? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? Fuck you bird.

Wait. Hey man, that was crazy. But I was kidding. You're my best friend, and I love you. What should we? What should we do? What should we do? What should we do? What should we do? Oh There it is, I made a dance video. I Said best thing I've ever said

I'm sweating. It's a best thing. I love it. It's the best best the best thing I've ever ever ever By the way, that's the best thing I've ever seen. That's, I've never fuck, I've never, who did the dancing? I danced. No, you had to do a deep fake. No, that was me. That was you dancing for real? Me, yeah.

Where did you shoot this? Uh, in a downtown LA, in a, like, a industrial... Who directed it? Rami. Oh, you fucking... Cunt. You fucking cunt. Rami? Oh, you fucking... Cunt! You fucking cunt!

You fucking cunt! Wait, let's tell them the s**t! You are a fucking cunt! You're a cunt! You're a cunt! You mother fucker! You mother fucker! You mother fucker!

Let's tell them the let's tell them! Okay, okay. You just went home, you never came back. I never came back! You fucking cunt! So, uh, first of all, first of all, for people that don't know, there is a famous meme of Segal eating a carrot when he was in Belarus.

Fuck that. And that was the inspiration for my attire, because I'm a big Segal fan. But then, so the whole joke, obviously, we wanted a guy to be burnt, so we wanted like a 400 pound guy. But then they were like, let's try to do face replacement. Everyone's been doing face replacement.

Like Brian Monarch's been doing that on these videos. You have my face forever now. And then you have my face for imperpetuity. You, so we get done last two bears won cave. And Tom says, hey man, my buddy, Rami's out there, he's directing my, did he even direct your special? He did, okay.

Fucking piece of shit that guy is. I'm black balling him in Hollywood. He loves you. Oh fuck him. He by the way, he left way, when you left, call me. He goes, I feel terrible, he's the nicest guy. So. So weak Tom goes, we're gonna do these new promos

for fucking two bears one cave. Do you mind hanging out for like an hour while they shoot your face? Because they're gonna do our faces and all these different things and I was like, we showed you the commercial that he did with like, Ferrell. Yeah, it was really cool looking. I was like, yeah, I'll do it. I'm on my head. I'm like, it seemed like a lot of money to put into a fucking podcast, but okay, so I sat in the lobby doing different facial expressions for like an hour with this kid

and he just, and he was like, all right, can you look surprised, look sad, look like all the fucking favorite is that. They didn't even mic you. They didn't even mic me. I didn't even notice. I just, that's the party goes, he goes, he goes, I just like taped a mic to a thing that wasn't even on. I just hate that's the party goes he goes He goes I just like taped a mic to a thing that wasn't even on I was like this will get it oh My god

The and I sat there for an hour Tom goes I'm gonna go run home put Alice to bed And then they're like these fucking liars are like hey Tom's on his way back Tom said I'll be back in 15. And like, okay, we could do it. I set out there for an hour doing all the facial recognition for you. For me. For your fucking video.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God, how many millions are you gonna get on that? I have no idea. I actually don't know if it'll get even, however many of you, you know what I mean? Like, I just uploaded it right now, right? As you walked in. I, as a minute, huh?

No, it's over a minute. God damn it Tom, that's where you fucked up. I know. It's at 130K so far. On what, on my... Just on Twitter. Oh, okay. Oh, my Twitter's gonna be blowing the fuck up.

I gotta delete that picture of you. Here I am trying to shame you this morning and I'll get stabbed as a fat fuck. God damn it. Oh my gosh, Tom's gear addressed as Steven Seagull official Ethan page of fuck two words. Okay, two words two words two two words no mercy two words no mercy. So here's the thing, a lot of people were like they're like what the fuck? Why do you stab him at the end and kill him?

So I wanted to tell you where that came from. The original idea was that I would stab you and then get a handgun. So we had it there, shoot you. Then I dropped that, I have a shotgun, I put six shells in it, I shoot you, and then I get a machine gun. And I shoot you with that. But we ran out of time.

So I only stabbed you. Oh, this is so good. It's good, right? This is so good. Yeah. Yeah. This is so good. I mean, I don't, I, that's fucking amazing. Let's see it. Who, who retweeted

it for you? A few people probably, right? I don't know. I literally put... I literally put... It's your retweeter climbing right now. This is gonna be fucking massive. You think so? Oh, yeah. And you threw your tour dates up for Australia? They're already sold out. Oh. So what tour dates do you put?

I just put what I have, whatever was on the calendar. Okay, so I see where we're at now. Ha! All I see is a lighthouse in the fog and I gotta get myself there. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! So you're like, it's gonna be,

you're gonna come with a vengeance. Oh, I have to. I have to, I wish I hadn't spent that money on the fucking jet now. God damn it, I fucking wasted on a slomo video. Yeah. Why wouldn't you tag me in this fuck face? Oh yeah, I'll tag you now. Jesus.

Is your video still right up there? Yeah. Is yours your pen tweet? Uh-uh, no. How do I find it? Uh, cause I'll link it, I'll link it. Uh, I'll get it for you. God damn it, that's so good.

Oh, yeah. Well that was a lot of fun. God damn it, that's so good. I, two words, no mercy. It's so brilliant, how long do they, we shot that, by the way. How long did it take to shoot that? Okay, you remember it was during October.

Did you ever see the Woop Day where my exertion level was 19.8? And they're like, yes, the highest anyone else. And you said you got lost in the canyon? I was doing the dance video. Here's the, what do I send this to you? Where is it in your... Here, I'm just texting you the Twitter. Okay. Yeah. Here I'm just texting you the Twitter.

Okay. Yeah. Oh my God. Jesus Christ and you're dancing is actually pretty fucking good. Not bad, right? It's actually really good. Yeah. What an interesting choice to stab me at the end of a video.

It wasn't my idea. It was Rami's But he was also he had the idea to then shoot you multiple times and I was like I'll do it by the way By the way if if I I mean do you realize what sober October would have been if we did these data videos I know I Mean that would have been fucking insane. The only thing that would break the internet right now is if Joe did one video.

Oh yeah. That is, that is how long have you been sitting on that? When did you get to find a letter? Well, here's the thing. When we shot it, we shot it obviously during October and they were like, when do you want it? And I was like, let's put it out in a week, but then there was this thing where I go,

you know what, is it, since it wasn't in a timely fashion, like yours came out, this is the next week, I go, I go, I go, I'd rather hold it until I can sit with Bert. So I go, I go, I go, oh, that's so smart. I go, just, I go, don't, I go, just get it ready, and I know that I wanna play it on the podcast for him. And then they were like, go, just, I go, don't, I go, just get it ready. And I know that I want to play it on the podcast for him. And then they were like, okay, so, you know, I could have released it quicker,

but I was like, no, just, it's so great. Thanks, man. It's so great. It's, your dancing is legit good. The fucking beard coloring is hilarious. I mean, it's all the ponytail. Can I just see it one more time? Is that bad?

I know people, I've already, can already can't or just listening to it. I love. This is awful. I mean, my god, I can't dance. Look at those tips. Oh, I love their their subtle reaction. They were kind of wrong, they were great. It's poor wife. Here's a wife. This guy's definitely racist, right? He probably is, didn't, too. Hey, Tom Siguart. OK, here, pay pause. Say pause. OK, all right.

I will tell you right now, that shot. I don't have that in my bag. That sweeping shot of me. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a beautiful shot. It's a beautiful shot. But we had, like, a top tier. You know I'm a top tier.

You know that I am now intently focused. I'm intently focused. On. On beating you. There's no way that you're gonna win. I mean, now that I know that we can just spend $100,000 to make these, I didn't know that. I mean, I spent $1,200 for my.

I did not spend $100,000. I'm gonna guess, 15 grand. No. Everyone's like close. Pretty. Keep going, keep going. You've been dancing your whole life. Oh no. Show this full up.

Okay, this is great. Okay, hold on. Yeah. My favorite moves coming up. It's the throw up and, hold on. Yeah, my favorite moves coming up It's the throw up and bring it down. Yeah, they appear go. Let me see Okay All the girls over Okay, hip-paws hip-paws hip-paws hip-paws hip-paws hip-paws hip-paws Blanon cross the map Lambo on the block looking like a snack. Oh, okay hit pause hit pause hit pause hit pause hit pause hit pause you're like

Seinfeld right here. Yeah, yeah, you you don't know how to dance, but everyone around you is good actors Seinfeld Seinfeld's big drink was he brought in great actors because I'm watching it and you look Ten times better because everyone around you's really fucking killed. Yeah, I think it enhances it for her. I wonder what the over-underers of I can get a hundred dancers with me. You're probably gonna... You're gonna stay-dium. I need the colosseum. This could definitely happen. This is, you have no idea.

Keep, look at your face. You're so in character. Keep going. That's a thing on the other one. And then you, thank you, you showed up for this shot. I am such a fucking idiot. You like a machine? This is the dance I'm impressed with right here. Hold on.

That's pretty good. That's a really good day. Hey man, that was crazy. Well, I was kidding. You're my best friend and I love you. Do you think that this stabbing was too much? I think this stabbing was a little too much. I want to be clear, it was not my idea, but when I heard it, I was like, I'll do it. Who did you get to blame me? I thought, no. Actually, a really nice guy. He was a really nice guy and you'll like this. His name is Tom.

He was like, big fan man. Yeah, he was like, he was like, I get one of those thick point nations, which is true. There was actually one guy that really wanted to do it and we had had him all lined up But he had a big big beard and they were like for the Facebook placement It's an issue and he didn't want to shave his beard but Yeah, this guy was great and and you know he did man He did that that stunt fall of like falling off the chairs not an easy thing to do when you're a big guy either

And we were like you want a crash pad? He's like nah, I got it And then he would get up. He's like I'm bleeding. I was like well Yeah, God that's great. Oh, that's so fucking great. Yeah, so guys I still think the point to me only was just that I do think I'm a better dancer I mean, I mean I'm god damn it. Do you not think I'm a better dancer than you mean, I'm a god damn it. Do you not think I'm a better dancer than you? No, I mean, obviously, if I spent

not a thousand dollars in total, I'm saying I'm a better dancer than you. No, I'm a better dancer than you. I'm obviously, I am. Obviously, right now, you are, you are a, you're little yaddy talking to prints. Like you're like, I created the genre. And I'm like, no, I created the genre of dance videos.

I created it. I'm number one. And by the way, I didn't know what the playing field was gonna be. You got to witness my output and then go, I just need to beat that. You don't think that I'm a better dancer. No, I think I'm a much better dancer.

I had a short timeline where I had to get mine in. If I had spent a month and a half, you don't think you're a better dancer. If I had a month and a half dancing, you don't. And a budget and a facial replacement guy and a bunch of backup dancers. Yeah, I think we'd be neck and neck

with me a little bit ahead of you. No. Yeah, a hundred percent. You do not. Oh me a little bit ahead of you. No. Yeah, 100%. You do not. Oh my God, this is embarrassing. How about this? Do me a favor. Rami, recreate that.

Get the fact I used to do me. And then recreate that face plant with all those dancers. It looked the same. It looked the same. I will tell you this right now. I am massively impressed. Okay, cool. I am massively impressed. I will cool. I am massively impressed.

I will never succede that you're a better dancer than me. Why? Because I now have to beat you, that's it. I now have to do a better dancer. But you don't think, you don't, okay, no, no, no, forget the video. You don't think just dance skills wise. Like there's some things you can go like,

oh yeah, like this guy's stronger than me. This guy can jump higher. You don't think I'm a better dancer than you, naturally. I don't know, I think it's real neck and neck. I think it's real neck and neck. All right. I mean, I guess we'll only, I just want you to know something. If you put out another video and you don't think

I'm gonna fucking go crazy on the follow-up. You're ready to mind why can't we just all this TV shows so we don't have to waste our money was was someone please buy this we don't have to waste all our money please fucking I'm already going like fuck I was gonna take the girl skiing around Christmas. I gotta beat Tom. This is the best. This is the best.

I just said this. I said I was gonna tell you something before the podcast started. This is the best representation of what comedy is allowed to be right now. I agree. It is the best thing about comedy and people that aren't taking full advantage of it.

I feel bad for it because I go, oh, it's just fucking around. It's just fucking like like... I told numerous people, including all the backup dancers, who by the way are some of the top dancers in the world. Like some of the girls in that back in the video. I'm looking at the video.

I'm, I'm, I'm, I know what a day right for a dancer is. Dude, two of those girls danced for Janet Jackson. A couple of them had done Missy L. at videos, Nicki Minaj video like, and then I should say Lindsay and Craig who choreographed and trained me like, amazing dance choreographers and dancers. Amazing, so talented. I told them both at rehearsal and on the day they're Anne Romney and the crew.

I was like, this by the way, is the best money I've ever spent. I go fuck flying. No, no, I don't mean, but I just mean like for the reason we're talking about it. I go spending money to do things for the sake of energy. Like I'm literally doing this to show my friend and to put it out there as entertainment.

I go it's much more rewarding than buying a thing. Oh, oh, like without a doubt, without a doubt, the text you get from people when they see it and they're like, dude, this is amazing. Yeah. That is worth all of it. Like when I did the first dancing video, I don't think I showed these guys, but I was like, I wanna see Tom's fate.

Like it's the greatest thing about comedy. This is what we were saying is, you know, I do that slow-mo video in the jet and because Joe Koi called me out and stocked it. And so now I already have- So what did Joe Koi say? I did, I just bought tracksuits for everyone so I was like, fuck it, we'll just have tracksuits for the weekend.

And just make it a fun, like have it fun. But that's another thing that's great about comedies. You can just fuck around and you can still do your stand-up in a tracksuit and still be just as funny. Sure. You can just fuck around. So I bought everyone tracksuits,

we took a picture. Joe Koi saw that and he did a call-out video on stage and stocked and like fucking like I mean like like they were gonna home invade someone they had the ski masks on they had like Stockton was written on the shirt and that's just scary and ended up itself. Yeah, and And he posted it and it made it made all of us laugh and so I was like well. Let's we got a shoot one So we just got in the jet and I was like, we're shooting something at the jet. And they're like, oh, I was like,

we'll do some cool slow-mo shots. And then I just come up with the read of Joe Koy, great video, stocked having a big plans for you. And I got plenty of tracksuits. And we had just bought new tracksuits that day. So I zip it up and I go, don't think, and I got plenty of tracksuits.

Not only that, I got the best slow-mo game in the business. And so we shoot a slow-mo video just to fuck around. It's fun. But I said what I said on the plane was raw drinking, raw sugar. By the way, before you get to that, what do you like the plane people say when you're like, I'm just gonna need like 30 minutes to shoot my fucking

diddy video? Are they like, okay, we'll just thank. When I got there, first thing they said was the machine. They did. Everyone pilots asked if they could fly with their shirts off. A hundred percent, a hundred percent.

They're like, dude, if we didn't think that you'd be afraid of your life, our shirts would already be off. And I was like, we're just all big fans. Every time I've ever go to a private, I'm only been on two, but every time we got there, they knew who I was. Because he booked it with their name,

so they know the name, and a lot of times they Google it. I mean, there are regular humans. Yeah. And so, so we're drunk on the jet, and we're all super grateful. We're just talking grateful about how great life is. And I said, and I will say this, without a doubt, I go, you know, Tom created this, right?

And they're like, what? And I go, this like fuck around, Nist, that's his personality. And they're like, really? I go, oh yeah. I go, Tom started calling me Gerard Depardue on his podcast. I said, it wasn't even on my radar.

I didn't even notice it. Like, I didn't even catch it that it was happening. And then all of a sudden, it started online. It started and and and what what We did that weight loss, but we would have never done that weight loss if he it's his it is his personally What's he likes inside jokes? He likes fucking around yeah, and he loves to like you know play like play that the fun part of comedy and And I was like it's not it's not about being the funniest man in the room. It's about having the most fun. I go, he, I said, I've still stand by this.

You recorded and played one of your bombing sets on your podcast for people to hear that, and that not a lot of guys would just go out and put out their fucking, their soul and them losing, because it's about branding. For you, the branding is fucking funny. It's not, like I'm the richest guy, I'm the funniest guy. I'm just, I just guarantee you, if you listen to me, I'll have fun with it. Fucking Garth Brooks.

Fucking Matthew McConaughey. Like just fucking around. I said, he started it and they went, what do you mean I said, we started doing this fucking stupid weight loss thing. And I said, the hardest I've ever laughed in my life was when Tom was shaving my beard. I was looking in his eyes and I was crying laughing.

That's the hardest I've ever laughed. And I go, once we did that, I remember we went out and played pool right after that. And Joe was like, this could be like a thing. And he was like, this is like super interesting to watch is you two challenging each other. And then so Brocktober came up. And if it wasn't for you,

and I would say this, and I'm speaking out of school, I'm sure, I was drunk at that podcast, but what was fucking brilliant about So, October, was there was a very ominous vibe in that room that afternoon where like everyone was not happy. The most recent one? No, no, no, no, that one too as well.

Yeah. But the very first one, it was like when I, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, with this. You know, we do the hot yoga as we, and I was like, yeah, but I wasn't even there yet. I was like, I was like, I don't know, man. I think, I remember going to bed that night going, I think I just ruined my career. Because I was like, if people think of me as a sad drinker, drinker, then it's not fun.

And then I was like, what if I have to quit because it's dictated, it was like, remember what happened when Brandon Schobs is like, you watch that whittle down on Joe's podcast, you're like, is this the end of, like, what just happened? And then it, you luckily, you're fine. You mean when Joe was like, you shouldn't. You gotta quit fighting, you gotta quit fighting. You're like, you're like, whoa, this is real.

And that's what I love about podcasting. Yeah. But you getting in that car and you're like, this can be fun. We can have fun with this. And there's a part of your personality that makes, that enjoys the fun of what we do for a living. And it's dude, it, I am never more inspired than when I watch a video like that.

And I go, now I have something to do. Right, right. Now I know where my fucking focus is. Yeah. Now I'm like dialed in. Dude, well, that's exactly by the way how I felt when I saw your dance video. I was like, no. I was like no so

so Fire it up about that Immediately I my first call was the Rami because I know how good of a director He's yeah, and I was like watch this video. We're gonna really really like fucking diarrhea on this I said and And then we just started talking, and we had meetings, and then we had choreography meetings, and yeah, it was pretty intense, man. Oh my God, it's so, but it's, it, it,

but it is for the sake of fun. It's for the sake of fun. And it's like, I mean, I guarantee you, if anything, right now, I feel bad that I stabbed you. What the fuck was the stabbing? Now, all I can think is I a sexually assault you in the end of yours Like it's just my face behind your face. Yeah, you like that. Don't you Tommy? Say the machines say I'm the machine and it's just me is sexually assaulting you for 22 minutes where I go

Well, it's 22. I got Bob the Russian mafia Well, you didn't have to stab me. No, and then I tell you to be quiet as I'm stabbing you. God that's your part of your person now. I guarantee you there's a lot of comics watching this right now going fuck yes. Like this is, I mean, and that's the cool thing is when comics can celebrate the fuckery of like the weight loss challenge, toe-brock, toe-brew, all this stuff. And then we did make it a thing. We made it this. Yeah. Yeah. You got a podcast. Dude, I, I'm so, I am, I love that. It's one of the favorite, I mean, maybe my favorite thing I've seen, it might be my favorite thing

I've seen all year. The funniest part about this is that all we got obviously, I'm talking with Rami, then I'm with Rami. We're shooting a special, we shoot two shows obviously. And everything's obviously like, I didn't like the lighting on the, you gotta bring lighting down, how does this look? And you know, flood this line, make sure you get that,

you're talking all about the special, okay? Then we're gonna get the line cut, and then I would pull Rami aside, I go, it's not You're talking all about the special, okay? Then we're gonna get the line cut and then I would pull Ramiya's side. I go, it's Nick Crazy that I'm shooting this special right now and I'm more excited to watch the music video. And then and he would be like, isn't it crazy that I'm directing your special and I'm more excited to watch the music video? What is that? What is that though? Like that is so it's just because it was like, it's like, you know, it's fun. It's like we planned this thing and we were just excited to show.

And like, cause you know, you like, has there ever been a time in Hollywood where like, it's almost reminds me a little bit, this is gonna be a very, very big slap on the back. But like, when Hollywood was fun, like when South Park showed up and everyone just passed around their video or like, or like people were doing things

because they liked it and it wasn't like they were jockeying to get a forward, forward ahead, you know? Like there's no, that doesn't, like your tickets already sold out, that does, that just, it's not for, yeah. I mean, I do it for ticket sales, obviously. No, I would look if, if I had a bunch of dates coming up, I'm sure I would.

I do it for tickets sales. I do it for like, launch a tours. And then I'll, I mean, when I relaunch, I'll relaunch before we go out. But the only reason that has tour dates on it is because it was supposed to mimic that part of yours. That's the only reason it has tour dates. It's so well shot, it's so good.

Yeah, yeah, so fucking good. And that's not to microred it, obviously. That is definitely to Rami and his crew, like that. By the way, he directs major music videos You know, I mean like oh he oh he's great. He's a real he's a real director I mean it's not it wasn't like my friends like you got a camera like he had a You know a legit crew there god that's like we shot in the where they in the like the warehouse where they we sweating like crazy Oh my god

Where they do fast and the furiously they they we shot in there in that warehouse. Did you're sweating like crazy. Oh my God. Where they do fast and the furiously they we shot in there in that warehouse. Did you get you to buy it? Get a location. Dude, oh my God. I'm trying to see if it can still. Let's see.

I want to I want to come anytime. So have you watched it? Well, I watched my dancing video, maybe a thousand times. Oh no, no, no, I haven't seen it that many times. Oh, I watched my dancing video maybe a thousand times. Oh, no, no, no. I haven't seen it that many times. Oh, I watched any video I do. Can you pull a whoop? Can you pull up your log in or no? Are you left in? Yeah. Can you still pull up a? We don't wear in your whoop anymore? Yeah. Oh, you took it off of the special. Yeah, I took it off before then. I like it a lot. I like it. I. I like it a lot. I like it. I have a my my strain today is a 12.

My strain that day was 19.8. Whoop. Where'd you go to sober October? Yeah, can you pull out? Can you hit me? Yeah, and then here. Let me let me see something. Oh, that's so good. Trying to see God damn it. Like I feel like I feel like I should outsource this now and get a production team, a director. By the way, I'm going into... I'm starting production on my show and I'm like, I wonder if we could just ship this about going after Tom. I have a fucking call today and I just want to go, hey, do see this video can we can we I'll pay for but we if we have a

crowd there can we shoot one day where I just do something There's no there's no topping this that is I man. I'm so I am if nothing If nothing I want you to know that I see that a little bit as a love letter I Hundred percent would see it the same way. Dude, when I did that. I made a video about you. Dude, when I did my video, you're the only person I cared that watched it. Dude, listen, that is a love letter.

And that's how I express love. Ask Kristina when we started dating. And she was like, the first red flag was like when I go I love you so much I can put your head through that So now so now all this poor fucking guy Hey, so wait Nadav you're on Mike. Yeah, it's the first time you seen it too, right? Yeah, this is the first time I've been keeping the, it's the first time you've seen it too, right? Yeah, this is the first time I've seen it. I've been keeping Nadav, this is the first time

you've seen it? Yeah, with you. Oh, that's the hardest. That's the hardest I've lasted in a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long time. God, and there's so much about that that is comedy. Like I was just talking to someone about comedy where people cheer or people agree with your comedy.

Yeah. Or there's something about this where you're like, it's a poor fat guy, Tom. Yeah, that guy's name is Tom. I sat back and did full. Please tell me you have, do you have any video from that Nidav of you just shooting me doing

all the fucking facial recognition? No, I didn't take any video of it, but I do know that they weren't even rolling when you were rolling the promo lines for the stuff that we were trying to record on you. Oh my god. They weren't rolling at all. You didn't see any red light. Yeah, they were there. You're like, we'll be right back. Two bears one cake. We'll be right back with two. And I was like, yeah, when we ever say that? I remember doing that going like, I don't know how this is gonna work in. That's the best part of the whole thing.

I mean, you went through hair and makeup. Yeah, they did. Got a wig. Yeah, definitely. I got some cool Segal glasses. Have you seen that? Can you pull up, by the way, just in case, Segal eating carrot, because it is,

I told him I was like, I have to look just like this. This is who I wanna be, yeah, just like that. That was my inspiration. That's why I looked like that. Oh my God, what is this? You've never seen it? No. He was in Belarus, and he's still famous in places

in the world that haven't seen things. Oh my God, Stephen Segal will see this. I hope I hope so what music was that did you guys get that? That was missy alie it. Oh was it's not licensed No way But I was like who cares it's just for the video, you know, so oh that's so good But that's exactly what I was doing just trying to eat a carrot like the gall wearing that That's gonna be so fucking big, Tom. You know what, Jesus.

Just for the record, if you're a comedian, you wanna take shots at me, you gotta be my friend, okay? I don't want just fucking comics going like, fucking take this fat fuck down. Yeah. Oh my God. I don't know how we fucking top that on this podcast. That's, you gotta end on that.

I wanna see it one more time. You do? I'm going to watch this time. I'm going to watch this easily 500 times. Really? I love it. I love it so much. We had, by the way, this was so fun. So I'm, I was in hair. That's taken forever.

I thought that was you at first. The black chick, I was like, I was like, Tom. Like that's really a great, because she got a way, not a wig on, but a hat with hair. And I was like, I was like, I was like, Tom, like that's really a great, cause she got a wig on, but a hat with hair and I was like, are you in black face? So I'm walking from the other side of this warehouse, just like to check in on what's going on. Rami's standing at a monitor and he's like,

say, his tits are big. I say, he looks gross. And then like, I just walk up and then then I just start I start throwing lines at them So we had like a hundred lines to pull from oh my god, and we just had to pair it down But it was these girls were great. Oh He just watch they're watching the video if you're listening Look at those tits. Oh, I don't know. Oh, that's not the hip-press.

I'm gonna vomit. He's poor wife. He's a wife? Look at his little peepee. This guy's definitely racist, right? I'm trying to speak too. Someone had to feed her that much. Hey, Tom Saguara. You've been dancing your whole life.

I know. Show this whole life. Oh no. Show this bull. I know. What? Walk up in the thing. I be on my game. If it's competition, I put them in the same thing. Please don't stand my style. I might touch you out.

What you doing now? I live for a while. Woo-Dee, boogie, clap. Line on cross the map. Lambo on the block. Looking like a sniper. I show you how it's good. Show you how it's done. Booty, booty, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap What should we? What should we? What should we? What should we? What should we? What should we? What should we?

What should we? What should we do? That's the best dancing you do right there, in your whole thing. Yeah. Fuck you, Bert. It's totally a love letter to you. Hey man, that was crazy.

But I was kidding. You're my best friend, and I love you. Oh, it's so creepy to see my face. I love you too, man. I'm so glad that we stayed friends. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh. Oh. Well, I love you. I love you too, man. I love you. I'm so glad that we stayed friends. Yeah, me too.

Like that we became friends and we were main close. This is the funnest relationship. This is so much better than my marriage. Ah! Especially now that she's found podcasting and has a personality, she'll talk, flex around. Fuck. So glad so over October is over.

Oh, well, you know, he doesn't really pick up. He's really kind of self-obsessed. He's a little misogynistic. Hey, let's not burn the bridge we're both standing on. Yeah. Fuck. All right, I love you. Thanks for listening, guys.

We'll be back. I love you guys, love you. Bert, Tom, Simon, Bert. One goes top guys, love you. Bird. Time. Time and bird. One goes top and swat the other, wears a shirt. Time tells stories and birds the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep clean. Here's what we call, two bears one cave. No scripts to bet a booze amateur, for topology.

Dirty jokes, rancho hero, no apologies Here's what we call, two bears one cave