2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 130 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: April 25, 2022

On this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss finding your personal style and take a look at the style of celebrities such as Lenny Kravitz, Jason Momoa, Ben Affleck, and Jack Black. They also talk The Neck Boys, getting rest on tour, Logan Paul's pro wrestling debut, vacationing in Medellin, Kodak Black, and more. Plus, Bert introduces Tom to his new favorite game: Wordle.   https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/bertyboytourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com/

when I read a book I get excited and I'm like, oh my god. Oh my god. I'm gonna be great if they had a simulator, they could put your body in, it would squeeze all the gas out and you just got it out before you did stuff. 100% A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A All right, your pro-Russian movies coming out probably later this year.

Fuck off. Does that feel weird? What? Kind of? No. No, I mean, not weird. That's not the right way. But I'm saying that you have a movie that you shot and takes place in a place that, you know,

is seemingly, that doesn't have any implications and then now they're mixed up in something that's like the biggest international news story and you're like, fuck, that's where my movie's supposed to take place. Does that send your mind at all? Not really. I mean, it doesn't to me.

I, I, I, does the studio care? I had no, there's no meant to. So we, we kind of are like, I think we're just the release date still the release date, whatever it is. No, no release date yet. What were you waiting for? Um, I think, I mean, I, I honestly, I'd imagine they're, they're probably waiting to see

what happens with this war. Oh, right. But I, I, I'm, someone said to me one time, I was doing a fucking radio interview and this fucking idiot was like, so now you're gonna walk back that Russian story and I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? How are you walking back?

It's just, it's more, a moron that doesn't know, doesn't know anything and is just scared. Yeah. I'm, I live in a blubbing a little bit with like, with, like I really actually don't believe you can get in trouble for, I, I really actually don't believe you can get in trouble for, I mean, I know you can, but like, I can't, unless the joke is like, absolutely horrific, I can't imagine getting in trouble

for jokes and I can't imagine getting in trouble for a movie and I can't imagine getting in trouble. Like, I just, I'm like, I'm oblivious to it, I guess. And there are people that live in fear. And I live in fear. There's a lot of fears I have, obviously. But I don't, I actually didn't even, probably you really need to live in any fear.

Oh, I don't, I didn't hit my radar. And actually I ended up, this whole war just made me learn more about both fucking countries. Yeah, you've been been I've been fucking obsessed You're watching documentaries documentaries on on Putin Ukraine like I didn't understand put me up on some Putin knowledge Do you know why he's so popular? What the majority of men when I was there the majority of men in Russia died before the age of 54 Right, it's pretty young.

So it's just four more years for me. Yeah. And the average male now does not live past 60. Putin's 74. So we, and then the women all live long. So the majority, not the majority of their population, but there's a huge chunk of their population that are just single women, that are older,

that they think Putin is very attractive and they have money because they you know are on the on the system of like they've lost her husband they get their whatever I'm not I'm not so social security check but they're money and that's who really votes for him is they think number one this guy is everything their husband wasn't he doesn't drink he's obsessed with fitness he's got his shit together, he worked for the KGB, he supported Old Russia, like all these older women just fucking are obsessed with this guy. He's a, he's an, I mean, I, there's this one woman, Julia Iofa, Iofi, who I've listened to her talk about,

Putin, almost every night when I go to bed. She just, she breaks down where, it's looking, she breaks down where, looking, she's really adorable. That's one of the one on the front line interview. I listened to all the front line interviews about what's, about, because here's what's insane is that he really doesn't think he's wrong, right? Yeah, obviously.

When they said something about Ukraine in the first time, he goes, well, that's the hang on, that's not a real place. And they're like, no, it's the Ukraine the Ukraine and he goes it's not a real place. You're talking about Russia. That's how his brain works Yeah, that's crazy, but they're like so he's maybe he's been fixated on it for years. Oh Yeah, apparently what I mean apparently this is what I've learned from this woman is He was in Dresden and the work of the KGB when the wall fell and he called. By the way, this is so stupid. Why am I telling this? So go listen to that podcast.

I'm fucking, I'm gonna tell the fucking stats all wrong. And it's just I'm just gonna come out looking like I'm pro Russia. By the way, we did fucking Shultz's podcast. Yeah. He had me wear a I love Russia shirt. I was like, Mother fucker, I gotta start standing up for myself. That picture doesn't go away. You know, we talked about it about why, I don't think it's not you standing up for yourself. We're talking about the differences between you and me, which is, in my opinion, that you

lean into fun. Yes. And I don't care if fun doesn't happen. This is a huge issue with me right now because I want to be more like you. Like I watched you get off your bike. You want to be more like no fun. I think it might get me to last longer on this earth. I'm so obsessed with fun that I think I compromise.

Like there's things I shouldn't do. I watch you get off your jet in New York and you address nicely. Oh yeah, I don't address very nicely. I'm really into dressing nicely now. Really? Yeah, I like it. I think I always liked it actually.

The truth is, I dressed really nicely when I was in like middle school. And then part of high school, I switched to a school, there was a dress code, but I liked dressing in like middle school. And then part of high school, it was like I switched to a school, there was a dress code, but I liked dressing nicely out of school. Then I got really into when I moved here in comedy, like almost leaning into dressing like a slop,

like wearing shirts with holes in them to go on stage. And I was like, in my mind, that's how you had to do stand up. You had to look like a mess. Yeah. And I was like, that's mind, that's how you had to do stand up. You had to look like a mess. Yeah. And I was like, that's part, you gotta be like that. And then I think as I got older, I was like, you know, I don't really feel like that.

And I liked dressing well. So. I want to be, I'm being dead serious when I say this. I want to be more like you. Like you do things right. You do things. I'm not saying money is not an issue, but you make sure it's done properly and you want it done. Yeah. It's like, but a perfect example

is this studio, right? So our podcast setup is just Holston. It's it. It's just Holston. And then you're hiring new people and new people when I start going I need to fucking I need to revamp my business And I and it's it all starts with like and we signed the new podcast So you don't need podcasts daddy Brown. No way. Oh, you told me that was coming while back. Yeah, yeah That's fucking awesome. Yeah, so he has a new podcast so like yeah, you know, you have to have support staff for people to do the shows I mean it's it like you took a helicopter out to Long Island. That was way worth it. I know, I would never do that.

Do you know? Do you know that flight was 11 minutes? I took a helicopter one time from LAX to Burbank because I was only home for like eight hours and it was gonna I was gonna spend two hours in traffic yeah getting home and so I was like I'm gonna take a helicopter I'm gonna splurge and I'll shoot a promo video. We got 20th to self-fuck it. I'm always promoting and Greek may fit a single am I that already happened? No, that's in there. It's killing up. I buy announced have I announced red rocks yet oops Gonna burperburper.com. Fully loaded, fully loaded in June.

I fucking, but there's a real thing like I was, I'm always thinking about, there's so many things that were different about that I look at you and I go like to when we went to dinner, you were dressed nice, I was in like a fucking, by the way, you were on one. I talked about it on stage. Really? Yeah, because I go, I saw a bird today and everyone goes crazy. I saw him last night and I said, I walked into this restaurant, I go, he a bird today and everyone goes crazy. I saw him last night I said I walked into this restaurant. I go he looked like he was feeling it and I go

How much of you had to drink and you said all day? It was all day, which is not an answer for how much you've had to drink I'm trying to tell you right now. I swear to God. I'm trying not to drink on this podcast because I don't here's the thing I have nothing to do after this so I know I can drink right but then part of me goes I'm gonna just feel like shit do after this. So I know I can drink. But then part of me goes, I don't know, I just feel like shit. But after this, you should do something to take care of yourself today. Like meaning something good for your mind, body, and soul, right?

Like why don't you go get a massage or like go sit in a sauna or just like, why don't you do something that like, you know what I mean, it helps you be compressed. You can't do that today. I don't know. Why can't that be set up? Uh, yeah. You're going to KUYA? When?

I'll go after this recording with you if you want. Yeah, let's go to KUYA. You want to go do that? Yeah, let's go to KUYA and we'll sauna. I don't need to be in the deprivation tank, but it's just sauna and polar plunge. Let's do it. That's okay.

I would love that. And then how about good sleep tonight, too? Can you go to bed at a reasonable hour and get some rest? No. I mean, I guess I could theoretically. What would keep you from doing that? I don't know. I don't know.

What are we looking for? What are we? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could do that. I could do that. Don't you want to go have a drink after a quiyah? Then we just talk about this. Yeah, I don't know.

There's something about, I feel like I'm missing out. Like if I go to a hotel room, you really have that, you really have that, that photo. Yeah, it's my biggest fear of death is I just won't be able to hang out with everyone doing it anymore. But I'm not gonna be able to be there. I wanna be there, I wanna be there for everything. I'd be happier, I'd be, I think I gonna be able to be there. I wanna be there, I wanna be there for everything.

I'd be happier, I think I'd be happier if the world was terminated and we all died at the same time. I'm not bad. That's pretty bad. My daughters would cut their lives short. You were like, yeah, but then I don't have to miss anything. Yeah, I won't miss anything.

No one's gonna, and for all of us. Okay. Maybe that's what Putin's thinking. Maybe he's got a fear of death in himself. He's 74 and he's like, he's like, he's bullshit. He's like, this is fucking bullshit. I'm gonna kill everyone and then that way I don't have to worry about dying anymore. What a great way to live. If you could be a fucking leader of a country, just have your hand on a button going, I'm not feeling it today. it today. You'd be a scary dictator. I'd be a terrifying dictator. Yeah. I'd be a terrifying dictator. I'd be a fun one. I really know which one I'd be. I mean, I really don't know why they don't add another month to the calendar and we live

longer. You know what I'm gonna do when I turn 50? I'm gonna start doing my to age backwards and see how far I can get. It's more fun than saying I'm gonna do when I turn 50? I'm gonna start doing my age backwards and see how far I can get. It's more fun than saying I'm 74, go no, no, no, no, no, I'm in my 30s. How are you doing this? I'm gonna go 50, the next year I'll turn 49. And then the year after that I'll turn 40.

You'll just start telling people that? Yeah. It doesn't matter, I'm already like, they're gonna be like, well, it looks like shit for 50. Do you know that I know somebody? I know somebody who has been lying about their Excuse me about their birthday for so long That they forgot their real birthday They've been lying about yeah, I think I know it is I hope it's not the same person. I know

I don't know I know I know I know a couple people that have been lying about their birthday for so fucking long. Well, yeah, I do know a couple of women that I'm not like close to that I heard about, but I know a guy too. The big popular thing when I was a comedian, when I was a younger comedian was to say you were younger than you were,

so people would have thought you were a phenom. There was a couple guys, there's a few guys that were older, much older. And with telling people they were in their 20s, when they were in there. And they were in there, like, I remember one guy was like almost 40, and he was still telling people he was 29.

There's a bunch of those. That was like a big deal. No one, everyone lied. I remember being like, there's still like Wikipedia or anything. Yeah, there's nothing. Yeah. And now those people are, I mean, I guess these are, these come out there.

Kiss this one thing for me that I really don't, it doesn't bother me. Not getting old. I mean, it doesn't bother me when someone's like, oh, you're 40, you know, if you're 43, I'm like, yeah. I mean, I don't know. I don't fear the number going up. I'm not embarrassed by it. I don't know about the first part. I don't feel like I going up. I'm not embarrassed by it.

I don't feel like I have to conceal it or anything. No, I don't give a fuck about the number. Like I am what I like to be is I would like to turn 50 and be in much better shape than I am today. And that's why I'm doing that. That's why I've been, I was like, I can't really control anything, but I go the only thing I control, and I'm sure this is by the way, a psychologist would be like, I can't really control anything, but I go the only thing I control, and I'm sure this is by the way,

a psychologist would be like, there's something very wrong with your brain. But I started saying the one thing I can control is what I put my body food wise. I can control that. Right. And then there's a weird way, where it's like, all I needed was one morning to wake up

and be skinnier than I was the day before, to give me momentum, and then I started being able before to give me momentum. And then I started being able to go on my journey. So I feel like, I feel like, Kooey, I better get out of the fucking sauna and be like, pack into the two forties. Yeah?

Yeah. What am I gonna do in there? Feel good. Fuck yeah. I have stress. Yeah, me too. I have a lot of stress. Yeah. Who do you think more stressed out? Me or you? I don't know, man. I've been going pretty fucking hard myself, you know, on this tour. Yeah, but you do, you're pretty like, what did you do after a long island? Get back in the helicopter, go to bed. Now we drove back and you just go right to bed? I mean I didn't go right to bed but like came back into the city, went to my room, stayed awake for a little while and then you know eventually went to bed, it was late,

it was very late. What's your advice on the road? Well I'll tell you what fucks me up the most. Like, we're all different with this. Some people just have an easier time navigating it, and it's getting sleep. Like to me, if I get quality sleep, everything works. And when I start to like, start building up that sleep deficit, I'm personally somebody that can't survive that long with it. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, you can recover from that. If you know, it's like one day, but when you're doing these back to back to back, like I'm touring aggressive as fuck, right?

And like, you know, we flew back in here. We're here a couple of days. I leave again Wednesday, and it will be like bus, you know, southeast or even Wednesday. Sorry, Daytona Beach. And that goes, do you know what I'm doing? Through that area?

No, I did more southern cities in Florida. And then I'll go into Mississippi and Louisiana. And you're on the bus for the whole run. Yeah, on the bus for the whole run. And like some of those weeks, like it's especially, you know, you're doing doubles at night. And you know, you get to bed late and then they're like, hey, we gotta get on, you know,

make sure we get the bus moving. you just don't sleep as well. I used to sleep so good on the bus and then now I don't and my body sore from it. It fucks me up, man. Then that would be the thing that like starts to wear me down is like that sleep stuff. And it's like, you know, I have drinks, but I always have like a couple drinks.

I very rarely go go overboard with it. And so that's not really a thing, trying to eat health. But here's the thing, this is the part of the sleep thing that fucks you up, is that if I sleep well, I feel good, I have energy, I wanna work out, I wanna eat right, I wanna just take care of myself. If I sleep like shit, I'm tired. I want to eat shitier food. I don't want to work out. I don't have the energy. I don't want that motivated.

And it like, so it's all like tied to get to me. It's all tied together by sleep though. It was funny. And I fucking, I, yeah, it's it's really it. And then you start to have it. I remember you so I used to watch these like new stories about pop stars. Who you know they they cancel their thing from exhaustion. Oh yeah, like and you'd be like huh exhaustion and then now you you start to have a different perspective on it like oh I could see how this could. I can kill some get out of control especially because I guarantee you back then pills were like a thing yeah I tell I'll tell you, man, I told you, you know, I put, every now and then I'll put his anix in my blood pressure pills. And, yeah. If I'm having like a really fucking stressful week,

I'll throw his anix in there one day and I go, that will force me not to drink that day, because I won't drink if I've had his anix at all. Really? Yeah, yeah. So I woke up in New York last two, I don't know, whatever, fucking three weeks ago now, five weeks ago. We're welcome in New York. I take my pills. And when I take my pills, I leave them on my tongue because I count them on my tongue when I,

I like roll them around my tongue and count them. And so I had my pills on my tongue. I was like, you're such a bizarre person. And as I kill a liquid death with it, I taste as anx, as anx tastes different. It does taste different. And it tastes shitty. And I went, yeah, motherfucker, I just took as anx. And I was like, I had to go to press.

And it was like seven in the morning, I had eight o'clock press and I was like, I walked in and I'll tell you, I gave the most relaxed interview. Oh, yeah. Do you know sometimes I can fire those people? I did. I pulled a Tom Cigar and I was like, yeah, do you want to see some? You want to see a motherfucker be boring. Give me his annex.

Dude, like, I don't say a fucking word. I don't know. I slept. I got done that and we went back to the boss we were in New York. I think we were in New York the next day or something. I went maybe somewhere else. We went back to the boss and I went to sleep

like after press and I slept until like seven o'clock. They woke me up for the show. I got up, did two shows, got back in the bus, went back to sleep, woke up the next morning and I was like, I feel fucking amazing. If I didn't work out, I ate like shit. Like I just, it's like, if I take his anix in the morning, I'm, it's, I should do it every fucking morning. I should just take it as anix every fucking morning.

I have less anxiety. I don't overthink things like I right now my brain's going Queer drink queer drink queer drink queer drink get it like that's why brain my brain's doing that It's going like him endless. Let's fucking relax. Let's relax. Don't let's don't worry about anything Don't commit to kueh. Don't do happy drink right now. Don't commit to that Don't like and then and then my phone is fucking exploding I have, I have at any given moment, when Leanne had babies, she used to change her name to Mertel. She'd go, when Leanne, when the girls were young, she would say no one's allowed to say

the word mom, it's making me fucking crazy. If you need me, I have to say Mertel. Mert fucking crazy if you need me I say murder like my little beach like my little yeah, it should and because it would make her giggle But she would get overrun with the two girls going mom mom mom mom mom Man, I feel like that all I have her questions all day long. I said to I said to someone I go I love Peter I but I go I said to someone on the go, I love Peter. I go, I said to someone on the bus, I go, I love Peter, but I don't feel like I ever get a moment to just hang with him because he's always got questions. And he walked in and he goes, what's up?

And I said in the bus, I was like, nothing. And he goes, quick question. And I'm like, motherfucker. Like it's just, it, it does make sense because you know for a fact that like Miley Cyrus, they were, they had her on the road, they had her touring and they're like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, take one of these, go to bed, okay?

Wait up, take this, you need to be up today. Cause you know what you end up actually having to do it, man, it's the same thing that I have to do. And it's the hardest thing, but you actually can do it. And you have to do it, is you have to schedule like time for yourself. It's a schedule it. It's a schedule time where you go, I don't answer things.

So then what's up? I don't read things So then what's up with Logan Paul then, right? Logan Paul's the older brother, right? Yeah. I can't figure this guy out because he is a good looking, he's in shape, does not addicted to drugs. Yeah. He's, I mean, I just can't wrap my head around how that works. Like there's got, like in order to be that successful, there has to be a flaw, but I'm not seeing any flaws. I'm not watching wrestling. He was phenomenal as a wrestler. Leslie. Phenomenal Tom. Phenomenal. I mean, honestly, no joke could very, very easily, very easily be a professional wrestler and draw a ton of people to pro wrestling. A ton of people that aren't fans go, I'd actually watch him wrestle, no joke.

So like, and he's a great boxer. Yeah, he's a great podcaster. He's a great vlogger. He's a great businessman. So like, I would love to hear him go, yeah, I get, you know, what's his fucking thing? Cause like, I know mine, I'm pretty good at some of those things, not them, all of them.

And I go, I get burnt out at the end of a fucking day. Yeah, well, I don't know. You don't know how he has his life lined up, you know? Maybe he has, maybe he's does what I'm talking about and goes like, yeah, but not on. You can't, no one can bother me at this time, which I think you need to do. Like, okay, how about Rogan then?

We know Rogan. Yeah, he does that. He's actually the king of that. King of what? Like, you're, this week, I'm doing this with my family. I don't care who reaches out to me. At this time, no, I'm doing this with my family. I don't care who reaches out to me. At this time, no, I'm doing like, he schedules like workouts. I'm working out here, here.

He's like, this is a family thing. I'm doing my thing with my family here. Yeah, you can hit him up, I mean, you can hit him up whenever, but it's like, you know, he, things are like lined up for him, podcasting here. He tours, it's like, it's in and out. Like he goes in and out. He doesn't stand the road like we do, you know?

Yeah. He, I guess we're also comparing our lives to multi, multi, multi, multi, million. Yeah, yeah, of course. Like, so we're like, how did they do it? I'm sure it's like, oh no, I don't, none of this matters to me anymore. I just do what I wanna do.

Well, I don't know. I mean, I still think they probably prioritize their time more than anything. I need to prioritize my time. I should work out today. Okay, if you want to, I still think you need to rest though. See that, can I tell you what my brain just said? What?

Cheeseburger. Go to water burger, Go to water burger. Like that's where I, and then see, maybe that's what I'm doing. I'm confusing my rest. Yeah. With reward. Uh-huh. Does that make sense?

Yeah, it makes sense. I think you should do your burger if that's what you really want, but I just think that like, you don't have to go hard today, man. Like you're going to have an actually touring this weekend. Yeah. Where are you going? You don't know where you're going. an actually touring this weekend. Yeah, where you going? You don't know where you're going. No fucking idea. Well, I leave here. I do. Yeah, I don't know. Okay, I really think we should like consider a chill rest of your day today. Hey, did you reach out to Kuyya? Do they know, can we go over there

if we want to, Nidav? Yeah, yeah, we could, I mean, we could go over there like the guy that runs that place loves you. So yeah, I think we'll be able to. I don't think I brought bathing suit. It's all right. Can we stop by target? No, I'm gonna stop by target.

I got this thing, motherfucker. I need, I would like an intervention. I got a light, a light intervention. What's a light intervention? Did this great place in, have we talked about this? Did this great place in Malibu, where you check in for like seven days, and no booze, no drugs, clean food,

and you do workouts every day. Monotherapy, just like, clean food, clean fun, go to sleep, go for like seven mile hikes. It's a little extra told me about it. Yeah, that's what I'm looking for. Like I don't wanna go to a fucking rehab. I wanna go to a place where I'm like, I can't get on my phone.

Someone's making me food. I can't, I can't get on my phone. Someone's making me food, I don't have any options, right? And there's no booze there. There's no booze, because I wanna get a week of good sleep, right? Yeah. Jesus Christ. Wouldn't you like that? I also think it'd be nice to just have a,

I mean, I'm never, I'm so sorry, keep going. No, no, just vacation. It'd be nice to just have a- I mean, I'm never, I'm so sorry, keep going. No, no, just vacation. It'd be nice to take a week-long vacation. Seven days, just like a thing where like no shows, no one's asking you questions, you just get to like sleep in a nice bed. You know what I mean? It's a nice vacation.

Just sleep in a nice bed. Yeah. Look at the ocean or whatever, whatever you like. My problem is I my problem is I don't I need a vacation for myself right like I need myself time to make a lot of decisions No, yeah, you're gonna Hawaii. I'm gonna get up and be like Be fucking nightmare. I was like I we should line up some podcasts There's a bunch of guys. I love to talk out to out here. Oh, right. Oh, right. Right. Yeah. That's not the way to do it. Yeah

So I have a occasion that you don't plan is what you need. Let's play any other vacations for each other. Oh my God, I'd be so terrified of yours. All right, where would you take me on vacation? Well, I mean, right now, right now I think I would take you up in the mountains somewhere, you know. I'm going to Breckenridge next week.

Okay, like something like that. I would take you up in the mountains, maybe somewhere in Idaho or Colorado, Montana, something like that. I need an activity to stay healthy. Up there, you can go on hikes and bike rides. And it's away from, there's no cool bars where we're taking you.

It's just like beautiful scenery, a little bit in touch with nature. Great accommodations, great food, but you're away from chaos. I'm taking you to Medaïne. Fucking Columbia? Yeah. That'd be fucking awesome.

Okay. And just, I want one of those moments where you're fucking in the room and you've locked the door and I'm like, Tom, open the door, Tom. Tom is gonna be fine. You're like, I'm saying shadow people, Bert. I need to go home.

Do you need a jet home? I don't want this vacation. That's the vacation I want. Just fucking all day day drinking, fucking let chew those leaves that give you like the feeling of cocaine, but it's not cocaine. The coca leaves smokes some pot, fucking whores, just whores and whores and whores.

All right, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in. Actually, I really do want to go to Columbia. I would love to go to Columbia. And I heard that Mayzejin is fucking stunning. Did you say Mede-jin? Yeah, because I said it like a Colombian would say it. Mede-jin. Mede-jin.

There's, I just saw a great picture on that was posted of like the like Dallion Wow Wow Stan Israel Yeah, I really want to go I heard it's it's beautiful. I was in Bogota once Mm-hmm and man I fucked up look at that And man, I fucked up. Look at that. Typing, typing.

You fucked up? Yeah, well, yeah, because they have cops everywhere and the cops had machine guns. And I thought he was recognizing me. I don't know why a cop in Bogota would know who the fuck I was. Yeah. But I started making eyes with him.

And it kind of was gay. And they're pretty homophobic in fucking South America. Yeah, yeah, they sure are. And I was aggressively. I was like this. I was like, and he was like, and I was like, yeah, and he was like, and I was like, what are we doing? And then he just started walking over to me and I was like, oh, fuck, I think I'm making eyes at a cop. And I was like, I don't think that's how that works down here. And then he just came over and just kind of stood by me

and watched me and then walked away. Yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've had some sketchy. Type in the lights of Bogota of Medeen. Because I saw a picture last night of the, like someone doing a night thing and it was all the lights in Medaigne. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that

it. Motherfucker. The lights of Medaigne. What kind of lights? You mean the Northern lights? It was like the lights about the city and look beautiful. Oh, oh, I saw it on Instagram. Hmm, I see a lot of shit on Instagram. Yeah, there's a lot of things to see there. No, I mean, I feel like I was telling, I was telling, I was saying something to Georgia the other day and I was like, oh, it's just in bad reading a book. And she goes, were you reading a book? You sure you weren't looking at Instagram?

And I was like, I was actually looking at Instagram. Yeah, yeah. I was. So this is the thing about, it was, 10 days to do that. 10 days to do that. That shot right there is pretty amazing. Yeah, it's fucking gorgeous.

Yeah, I wanna go to Columbia. I'd like to go to many. All right, 10 places. We were talking about doing this Josh Potter. Okay. 10 places to see. I'll just see before he goes blind. Before he goes blind.

Yeah. Yeah. I think one of his places was like, fucking Rochester or something Rochester I don't what what did he say we put on a list of things I think I took him to Rochester Where did he say where did he what did he put Oklahoma City no He wants to see every place has had a terrorist attack. That sounds like, guys.

That's the places he wanted to see were so bizarre. But what would you, you'd want to take him to India. I want to go to India, I want to go to India really bad. Okay. Well, that might be a great place for your week-long vacation just to do something different that's not an environment you're used to. You'd kind of have to adapt a little bit to a whole other way of seeing things, doing things for that.

If you allowed it to happen, you could insist on a Western experience there or you could just go with the local Indian experience. What would be, what about Germany interesting seeing the Great Wall of China? I mean, I think it's probably amazing to see just the magnitude, like what was built, it's unbelievable. I mean, it's never been like, oh, I gotta go see that,

but I mean, every time you see photos or video of it, and you read about how long it took to construct, it's, I mean, it bends your mind. The pyramids? You know, it's also one that has never, it doesn't make me go, I don't have that thing where I go, I have to go see that. It's just not, for me, right now, there's just cities

that I want to go to Tokyo really badly. I want to see the thing up in there. I think you have to, I think you were there for travel channels. I really want to do that. Like that's just like my own, is that where the Emperor lives in Tokyo? So I saw the Emperor's castle.

I think I've been to Tokyo. Tokyo's pretty fucking sick. Yeah, I the emperors castle. I think I've been to Tokyo. Tokyo is pretty fucking sick. Yeah, I want to do that. Yeah, the wonders of the world stuff. I don't know. It just doesn't make me go like, I need to see that in person. Japan is pretty fucking awesome. It's pretty fucking. It's pretty fucking amazing. Like as a society, a culture, you know like their food They're like the whole way that The culture of the Japanese people is something that I find pretty fascinating And I'd like to take a nice long trip there. It's I tell you I'm a little Portugal too

And they're Portugal. I'm amazed at Portugal. I would love to see I would love to see the waves at Nazarei, you know, where they have the big wave riding thing. I would love to see those waves are like 70 foot waves. I booked all my international tour. Really? If I haven't announced yet. Where are you going? Well, I can't announce all the dates, but I'm going to take a when you're doing it personal trip to where it's in Portugal. Maybe I'm definitely going to go to Spain for a little while. What can you are you doing it? Personal trip to Portugal? Maybe. I'm definitely going to go to Spain for a little while. What can you are you doing stand up in Spain in Spanish? We had a conversation about it, but I think what actually goes better in these countries is English. English shows, yeah.

Yeah, they're all speaking English. Yeah, so you do the English show and then you just go, Thank you, NATO. You just go up and throw little hot sauce on this for you and do some Spanish, you know. I'm a little like a guy. Hey, burrito burrito bur, you know, little... Okay. Burrito, burrito, burrito. Yeah, yeah.

Exactly. Hey, it's a race. There you go. Do you buy me a penga? There you go. Hey, it's a suzana. Like a scene I know. La sala.

Hey, it's a supluma. Mi pluma, it's a supluma. Where are these from? Terruz, Icho Colate. Oh. Poppy, don't there staleima in Peru? Claro. What is this? Is this a podcast?

No, this is how we learn Spanish when we were kids. Oh, really? Yeah. Psst, Caracia. Me prestas tu pluma. Me pluma. Estas loco. Yo tengo solamente un lapis.

Type that in. Churrosi you chocolate. Churros? Churros ain't real white for him. Churros, you go. And then right, right, Garcia. Me prestas tu pluma, M-E. M-E. Prestas.

PRES. Yeah. Tu pluma, T-U. M-E. Press us. PRES. Yeah. Tupuma. T-U. There you go. Fucking nailed it, bro. All right. All right.

Now, see if, uh, okay, yeah, press that, press that. The scrolling, see if you can see where the keeps scrolling. And see if you can see, it's all in Spanish. Tum. Tum. There was a book. I've been doing the, using the app for, oh my God. Are you playing Whartle? No, I've heard, I've heard, I've heard.

You like it? I fucking love it. I fucking love it. I love it. I love it. And I'm so good at it. You are. I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the I'm not the You're the New York Times website. New York Times, you can use that word. You can use that word all. Wordal, New York Times, click, click, click on her. Okay, that's it, click it.

Okay. Okay, so I'll explain to you. So you gotta pick a letter, a word that has five letters. Okay. If it's green, that means that letters in that word and that's where it belongs. Okay. If it's yellow, that means it's in that word,

but that's not where it belongs. And if it's black, it means it's not that word, but that's not where it belongs. And if it's black, it means it's not in that letter. It's not in that word. So, all right, so get to the next page. Okay, so now start with a word. Start with a word. A five-letter word, okay. Five-letter word that has a lot of vowels,

usually when you try to find a few of vowels or consonants. And so I can tell you how I do it, but then I'm just playing it here. So pick a five letter word, and we'll see if it has any of those words in it. Any of those letters in it. I'm sorry, those letters in it. Okay. Okay, how about like, like, looks? It's a great one.

Okay. I've tried great one. Okay. Try to look. Okay, so that means... So that means... So that means... So that means L and S are in this, but they're not in the right position. So that means L and S are in the answer, in the word, the word of the day, essentially. And then, okay, but they're not in that...

They're not in that order. They're in different places. And O, O, and K isn't in there. Now, how about slant? Could that be like, away? Yeah, that's actually a great way to do it. Okay, so now you know, S is there, L's not in the right place, but-

A is in the right place. A is in the right place, yeah. Okay. By the way, I've pleaded this this morning and I've already forgot what it is. the right place. A is in the right place, yeah. Okay. By the way, I've played this this morning and I've already forgot what it is. Okay, okay. So now another five, so what words, just go like this,

sa, whatever, right, right. With an L, an L's gonna be at the end. I'm guessing because it's not there and it's not the first one. So it's one of the last two. Right, right. Or possibly both of the last two. You can have double letters in there,

but that's just. Right. Yeah, so the L's not gonna be there, which is important. Right. So, how about, I'm trying to think you're on. So like S P a

spar K. No, no, not K. Sorry, gonna say, could it be, oh, wait. Could it be, are E? Yeah, sure, but there's an L in it. So you know that. That's right. Right. Right. Right. That's what's fun about this. Is it a fuck you, your head?

Sorry. So you're in it the whole time. I'm trying to remember what, I don't even remember what the word is. Yeah. Oh, okay, okay. So, okay. You know there's an element, right?

I forgot what this, I forgot what the word is. Right. You know there's an element. So think of words that have an a start with an a start. And this is immediately what I do. Look at your thing. What words have, or have what normally is the next letter after an S and then find those words.

It's not going to be an R's and you never hear a word. It's a SRA. You know, it's not going to be Q won't be W won't be Y won't be you swah. It could be the SW that that's how it's okay. Swat. Swal. Sw well. I'm just saying SW. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah, swall. Okay. S. I we haven't done an I yet. Yeah, so put it take a word that has an I in it. All right. Also, just because the S is where it's supposed to be, does that mean that necessarily there isn't another S doesn That doesn't mean that there is another S.

Okay. That's not the thing. But you also know that it's not, well it's not gonna start with two S's. And it's not gonna be, what's swastika, is that what you're thinking? It's not gonna be the last one. Like one of the last one.

Gotta try to just wait. Okay, wait a minute. Dude. It was so close to sauce. I wanted to say sauce. Sauce. All right, hold on, S. Shh, S.

And it's S-M. S-M, small. A. Small. Small. No, because that's small. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hit it.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. God, what fucking word is this? So yeah, okay. You just remember it? Oh God what fucking word is this? Oh, yeah, okay, you just remember it. Yeah, no, I do yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so now you know, it's an S or something an a or something in an L Okay Shhh, it's not shall That's what I mean it right because there's not shall. Yes, but I mean, right, because there's not two else. But I mean, but also it's not bad to guess to see if you can figure out like what letter goes where, you know?

Right, right, right. Well, for sure, oh, it could be, oh, and there's not two else in it. That's also what we know the else at the end All right, well I'm sure this is fucking boring to listen to it this point. No, no, no I bet everyone's probably going doing the math in their head really give you a hint sure type in an H SH okay, SH a is correct There's only one out at the end, right?

Yeah. What am I? Oh, it could be a shawl. It could, no. No, it's a shawl, Brendan's shawl. Yeah. Hold on. No.

No. I liked where you're going earlier. Yeah, it seems like it would be with the shawl. Yeah, try it. Is it not? No, no. Hey, never. Wow. I do this non-stop. You do? I do this.

Does it keep giving you a new one? No, no, no. This has been played. And then you can show you, you can see how many you've done. You can see how many you've done. You've done it. I've done it. I've done it. I've done it. I've done it. I've done it. I do this non-stop. You do? Does it keep giving you a new one? So now, now, this has been played. And then you can show, you can see how many you, you know,

this is your record. And it comes up every night on your phone. At midnight, you can do it. But I just bought an app that has it where you can do it in infinity. And I do it non-stop. Oh, you do. And so, yeah, just so for everyone that plays, or a wordle, here's how I do it. I take my first words audio, my second

words crest, and my third words nymph. And I, and then basically you will get it after you do those three. Not to ruin this fucking game for everyone. But Matthew Persards with me and he is like fucking stupid smart. And he was like, I'm gonna get rid of all the vows and all the consonants. And these are the best words, the most consonants, the most vowels. And so you do it. And without fail, you'll get it every time.

But what's great is when you get to one where it's like, where it's like the other night and day was snout. And I put spout, I put like, you got all the letters except you got three choices left and you got to do the last one. And then you listen to everyone in the bus, everyone wakes up in the morning, they're bunk, and they and they're like I got it and then we'll give each other hints throughout the day you're like yeah you're like who we should have any guesses

do you get if you if you play it correctly like you have five five I think five guesses total but it's such a fun game I love games like that I love um I love I was thinking about doing that for fully loaded was putting out a nut telling everyone who was, they're gonna be there, but doing a wordle of everyone's names, trying to figure out who it is. Yeah. And so, but not everyone has five letter, five word or an in or a name's. I mean, you could still like probably play with that.

Do you read books? I mean, I have. Do you like, what do you do that for fun? You know, I would actually do it more if I wasn't as stressed and busy. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I do enjoy, I probably read the most books when I've had less to, like, a vacation.

I like reading a book on vacation. Yeah, like sitting around. I like reading, I like bringing a book on my kids. Yeah, I like sitting around. That's crazy. Like Pat Nas, while when the pandemic hit, he was like, oh, it's the best thing. I just sit on the porch and read a book. And I'm like, what are you not like about that though? The reading.

The reading, the not talking, and just sitting there and reading. That might be good for you. It's fucking stupid. Just sit there and fucking look at something and read it. That might be good for you. It's fucking stupid. Just sit there and fucking look at something and read it. And you can listen to it. It's so much better to listen to it. Yeah.

They're watching. Watch it. What do you think, be honest, if Instagram came out around the time of the Bible, do you think that we'd even have books at all? I don't know. I don't know. That's such a crazy fucking formula

that just popped into your head. How much better is to talk to books? I remember this. I remember this. I remember this. So much better. I remember the first time I got legitimately, you know, people always like,

oh, the book is so much better than the movie, the book is so much better than the movie. It's like this. And I'll be like, and then I remember reading, because it was like a worldwide phenomenon, I read the DaVinci code, the Dan Brown now. And it really is, he has a, you know,

it's full of like this information, you feel like you have secret knowledge about symbol. Like it's very well written. And every chapter is a hook where you're like, I have to read the next chapter, right? It's a writing style. He leaves you, James Patterson does that. Yeah, where he leaves you going like,

there's, how do I put this down? So, I don't know how to properly describe it, but it's like, it's effective. So it's engaging. And the way he writes it, it really is like, you visualize it all and there's all these like marvelous beats to it. And then I went and saw the Tom Hanks Da Vinci Code movie. Yeah.

And I was like, this fucking sucks. And I couldn't believe that it was a box office hit. I was like, this is a piece of shit. Like compared to the book, it was just like, it was, to me, it was such a disappointment. I was floored that it did well. And I was like, this is compared to the book. So I mean, like what your mind does when you read,

I don't know, it really does. It can't explode with like the imagination. So to me, it's like, I haven't read a book now. I started to read one, but I do enjoy it if I have time. When you read a book, do you cast it in your head? Not really. I actually imagine unknown in my head. Well, for real?

No, I cast it. I make believe people in there. I cast it. I had to use some joke about it. That's why I had a hard time reading my more suffigation. Cause it was Bobby Lee. I was like, this will be played by Mr. Miyagi. Uh, this will be played by Margaret Cho pumpkin. I had pumpkin as Margaret Cho. And then she was like, she's Korean. I was like, I have no one will notice. Yeah.

Fucking put her in, put it in. Fucking Bobby Lee's in it. And it was it was it was it was When I read the firm I had pictured Tom Cruise is that guy and when they said it was Tom Cruise I was like yes, yeah, like I'm me to have like that like when I read a book. I get excited and I'm like oh my god Oh my god Oh My god We're gonna be great if they had a simulator they could put your body in it was squeeze all the gas out and you just got it out before you did stuff Like they started like working it out working it out working out working out and then also

And you were burps and everything you said you fired a lot. I would like to get everything out of my body I want to do that. I want to do that. How do I do that? I want to get everything out of my body I want to get everything out of my body all the shit all the piss all the calm. I want to start fresh I want to start fresh. They need a machine that makes you shit piss and come at the same time and sneeze I love a good sneeze dude. I love a good sneeze. I like a sneeze that makes me feel like Somebody shot heroin into my neck You know that kind of like your eyes were back and you can feel like you can fall asleep after a good sneeze No, really no, I hate sneezing because it means I've got a cold coming. I never I never sneeze Unless I have a cold coming up and and what I do sometimes when I especially my allergies are in I'll do double sneezes

Like you've seen a wave that doubles up on itself. I'll do it. Tiss-tiss-tiss. Yeah. Yeah, and so I hate sneezing. And I have this one big tooth in my mouth right now. One big tooth in your mouth. Yeah.

What do you mean? I'm a big tooth in my mouth. Why do you have a big tooth? Don't you have just teeth? You have, I guess, a tooth is particularly bigger than other teeth? Yeah, I remember I had teeth problems at the beginning of the pandemic. Yeah, yeah. My dentist, he's great, I love him, but he's just like,

yeah, that's the best I can do. I was like, what? And he's like, you know, you have an angled bite, so your, it's this feeling, this crown's going to be a little bit bigger. So, I'm just going to have to get used to it. So I grind my teeth, my jaw hurts, nonstop, my back hurts. And when I sneeze, those are the only two teeth to touch. And I have another fucking, my mouth's a fucking mess dude.

My mouth's a fucking mess. That was a ride, that story. Let's talk about you, cause I'm excited about this. What? Saying you said you wanna dress better. What do you, what can we put, like, what, how do you imagine it? All I wear nice clothes.

Yeah. But I, but I don't, like I, like I just don't, I wear nice clothes but I don't dress nicely. Like I, like this is a James Per shirt. It's a very expensive shirt. It's very nice. But it's got stains all over it and it's just fucking like these pants are James per

shirt. That's a hilarious Google search by the way. You know, nice casual clothes. Like I know them in a fashion sense about me. Like it's always a t-shirt. It's always jeans and nice pair of shoes. That's it. We can get you into some stuff. But like, but I gotta lose weight in order to start wearing like

nice clothes. That's part of the thing. People, it's hard to be overweight and dress nicely. It's kind of a struggle. Like, there's a lot of like clothes that they don't even make it for anyone over, if you're a guy, like if you're over 220, you can't wear it. You gotta be like 200 pounds. Max, Logan Paul dressed nicely. I think he wears a lot of sporty stuff, right? Oh, he does like a gene shorts that are tie dyed and tie dyed sweat.

He does like cool perp people clothes. They dress like first round draft picks, you know? Yeah, yeah. Wait, I don't think I could be a nicely dressed. I think you can. I don't think that's the first step. Which is what? What's the first step? I don't know. I think part of it is a struggle that like, Part of it is a struggle that like, I don't know. I think it's like, I don't wanna represent myself. This is a deep conversation.

I'm about to start. Okay. I think when I started becoming more public, like doing podcasts and talking and being more open and honest about who I am, as like a somewhat crazy person, I think I felt like it would be misrepresented, misrepresented about myself. If I started dressing like I was making money, like if I started dressing in fancy

clothes, I understand. I remember seeing that happen to people and I was like, they're losing who they are. So like I'll buy nice things like I buy nice shoes. I like nice sneakers. But I'm even still I don't buy the expensive like hard to get ones. Although I do have a pair of off-white underwear on stage but that's because it's stage. But for the most part I'm just in Nike dunks, SB's. Like whatever they have I don't need it super nice. But I remember people getting money and dressing nice. I remember like I remember Dane getting like a fucking

bad ass leather jacket. And I remember seeing it and going, oh he's making money. Like all of a sudden I had an inter dialogue about him based on what he was wearing. We're like, you know, like certain people dress like fancy or like really, and I was always like, ooh. Like she's spelled, where's like interesting clothes.

Yeah. But I go like, like, like, fashionable interesting clothes. Like he dresses like, ooh. Like she pelted where's like interesting clothes. Yeah. But I go like, like, like, fashionable interesting clothes. Like he dresses like Kanye sometimes. Yeah, he wears, he wears, like he likes clothes. It's just like an expression though. I feel like I feel like they're part of me is that, that it, that it, that it. You're doing your head about this.

You're doing your head about this. You're in your head about this the same way you are with like, I feel like, you feel like if you don't party that you're disappointing people who want to party with you and you're not, you can dress whatever way you are with like, I feel like, you feel like if you don't party that you're disappointing people who want a party with you and you're not, you can dress whatever way you want to dress and you don't have to party with people if you don't want to feel like party with people. So then what do I want to look like?

Well, that's, that is up to you and that is personal expression. So if you were to like look at, let's say, pick a prototype. Who do I want to be? Yeah, like fashion wise. Who do you like? You go like, I would wear that. There's gotta be someone.

Johnny Depp. No, that's a bad one. Sorry, I didn't realize he's like covered in beads. And yeah. It's a lot of bracelets and shit. Who do I want to look like? Like type in, like what's a benefit to look like these days?

He says, yeah, that's a good one for you. Yeah, he looks like casual. Wait, go to, like, no, not in a tie. Go to, I want to see him in jeans, arguing with his wife. Lemme see his shoes. Lemme see, let me break in, get in that picture. Lemme break him down. By the way, I wonder if benefit knows who we are

because we talk about him a lot. I would say you talk about him a lot. I do Okay Nice shoes, I guess what are those Adidas D this yeah black pants button down and Then let me say it's is that like a a sweatshirt? Okay, I'd already Jennifer fucking go under so hot. So you can wear that? I bet you that's that's nice stuff he's got on. Yeah, but first of all I mean you have to be in shape to wear that. Really? That's the only reason that outfit looks normal is because he's skinny. If you're fat, type

in Jack Black. Let's see what Jack Black wears. No offense Jack Black, but, I mean, let's be real. Jack Black dressed up. See, okay, I think I just figured it out. It's because I'm fat, that's what it is. I'm fat and so I'm like, you ever see like, I'm dressed in Lane Bryant. Like I'm dressing like, I'm dressing like Jack Black. Look at these, he's got tiger shirts and he's dressed up like super Mario

Look at this He wears wild he wears great, but that's also who he is though, you know, I mean Jack black is this like fun Yeah, but that I think I think that's part of what we're getting at right now is that that's who he is And I think maybe who I am is like, I like wearing workout clothes. I like wearing workout clothes a lot. Like Nike running pants, nice running shoes. I like dressing like that. I love hoodies.

I wish I didn't love hoodies. I love hoodies because they're comfortable. And then how to develop your personal style. Good fucking job. There we go. You're fucking search of the month. Okay. Don't become yourself.

Make it bigger a second. Okay, when you create a personal style, you will be the one who stands out. If you try to become someone else, you'll be labeled unoriginal. Every single style icon from Steve McQueen to David Beckham, has a signature style way of dressing that emphasizes their aesthetic ideals and expresses their public persona.

Here's what you need to do to develop your signature shot. Signify as a considerable amount of self-dollage. It shows that you know what your message to the world is. It reveals that you are comfortable with who you are. We're going to do this, Bert. All right. Let's see. Number one, dress for your body type.

Okay, this is already starting to hurt. for your body type. Okay. This is already starting to hurt knowing your body type How do I circle my the circle or the upside down triangle? Circle okay, I'm circle Yeah, I'm circle. Okay, okay, oval oval. I mean oval. Okay, okay keep going Oval, I mean. Oval, okay. Okay, keep going. Opt for pleated trousers. Oh, here's a, it's a sit-up for in shopping

for clothes to your body. Opt for pleated trousers for the sharp, paper, if you have heavy calves. Have your jacket fitted closely with a shorter hem that ends up your hips if you're a shorter man. You don't have to worry about that. Go with a deconstructed jacket if you have broad shoulders. There you go.

Brought shoulders of your tall. If you're tall and lean, skip, go down the next one. Number two, dress for your lifestyle. You act rugged, you look rugged. You enjoy rugged clothing and cars with big dirt-covered wheels. Suit and tie doesn't, that doesn't work for you. No matter how much fun you want to have with your style, remember the job you have.

Don't worry about that, you're comedian, do whatever the fuck you want. Kay, scroll, scroll, scroll. Dress for your environment. Okay. Yeah, I mean, you know, you go out on the road, you're performing, you're walking in and out of hotels, maybe doing some press stuff.

That just means, you know, it's like weather in the situation. Find a style icon. There you go. Get style inspired. Is there an actor, public figure or model? Jason Mamoah. I'm picking these fucking people that dress like lunatics. I mean, is that really your guy? No, but I know, but I don't want to look like Jason Mamoah. There's got to be a good style icon influence for you. Choose the right colors. I have a warm complexion. Okay.

Know your message. I want to be your friend. Did it is your message? I think so. Hey, come talk to me. Man, we have like polar opposite messages. Yeah, you dress in a lot of leave me alone outfits like dark coat Dark pants

Is that a leave me alone outfit? Yeah, you're like yeah, you're like I have secrets your outfits look like I have secrets You're your outfits look like I have secrets Let your age I go back to number your age. That's fucking hard past. Oh, what's a 50 year old man supposed to dress like? I'm not 50 by the way, but I will be Shop of the plan I shopped so much What did you buy? What didn't I buy? I don't buy anything. I need to, I'm donating so much this week to make room for it.

Really? Yeah. Are you doing your jacket off? Jacket off. I'll go away, I'm going to give away more jackets, yeah. Look at Jason Momoa. But see, here's the thing. You're looking at this guy.

He's fucking gorgeous, right? Yeah. And then you're like, oh, he's just wearing a t-shirt. It's him. That's what... Oh, yeah, yeah. So I think I am dressing like Jason Mamoah. Scroll down, let's see more outfits when Jason Mamoah.

Maybe, you know what? I mean, with Jenner being fluid, I wonder if I can start dressing like a woman. You definitely could. You definitely could. I love where it dresses. You could make your beard more. What did you grow your beard out real long? That'd be a style thing. And then clothes look like, oh shit on you.

If you have like a, like Jeff Tates got a legit style. Yes. Like he has a signature style. There's nobody with a more like unique style than that can I can dress. It's crazy man. He'll wear like fucking pajama pants

with a concert t-shirt, a jean jacket, a fucking hoodie tied around his waist, Jordan's outfit. Yeah, he definitely doesn't have a style. Yeah. Neither does Matt Damon. They're just regular beauty. Jeff Tate has a style.

Jeff Tate has a style. Yeah. Okay, I think you could do something with your beard. That's just number one. I think your beard could be part of your fashion. I got a better beard than Jason Momoa. Look at this, look at this, look at this. I can dress like that.

What has he got? Like a skirt, you know, I tried to bring scarfs back. You tried to bring scarfs back? Yeah. What if, what if Lee-Hen met him? Would that be a thing for her? She would let him do things to her that she has never even thought about yeah, oh my god That fucking eyebrow is that sticks up. Yeah

Jason mamoa look at that purple pants Purple pants now what would you do fast? What would you do would you murder him to know be cool that yeah? I'm like, hey man. She's all yours Send picks maybe I need a nice to to two I need my arms to be better shape like are there right now There I want him to be bigger here and skinnier here, bro look at him. He looks like a fucking, look at that outfit. What is he wearing? Black Sabbath shirt.

He dresses like he's going out for an event every day. I mean, this is like he's going to murder someone. I see. I remember when I had, I had died in my year. Clockwork Orange right here. I died my hair white when I was in, or blonde when I was in college. And I remember I, it was exhausting to dress for that.

Is it? Cause you have to wear outfits that, a guy with bleached hair wears. Sure. And I was like, How long did I stay bleached for? For, wow. I mean, six months.

Yeah. Yeah. And then I died at red. Keep going. Shaved it off. I mean, okay, all right, I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop you right there. Go scroll down.

I'm gonna stop you right back up. I can't put those boots on. Yeah, to tie them, I'm like, fucking out of breath. I think that without the work of those boots, you could also lean into this, I don't give a fuck style. Where shit is just like thrown together typed that in. I don't give a fuck style, where shit is just like thrown together. Type that in, I don't give a fuck style. I think you could pull that off. Yeah.

That's your persona. I don't give a fuck style, that's my style, I don't give a fuck. But I wouldn't be an expensive, I don't give a fuck style. You could do that, that's basically a rock star. Yeah, it's just where shirts are saying, I don't give a fuck. How about this? Ask me about abortion. How about a, how about rock star, you know?

Like that's what I think you could pull off that. I need, I think scarfs might be my, where I need to start. I think you should go rushing, man. I'm gonna, I'm gonna wait till this whole thing blows over. I just mean the style. Okay, now I can't wear skinny, see that's the problem is everything's fashionable is for skinny people. You know what they're gonna have plus size male mannequins

at Target? They don't? No, they just have plus size women ones. Yeah, they do, they really worry about being a inclusiveness like King Lodge, Race Dwar, the other day. Fat models. In Portland, Maine, yeah.

Where the mannequins almost got my dick hard. The mannequins did? There you go. What's this? Yeah, good to like, uh, alt rock bands or indie rock bands. I mean, you're shirtless all the time. So why don't you just kind of accentuate that? Start wearing open shit.

Open shit with a scarf. Yeah. I gotta bring scarf's back. Type in, Bert. I gotta get, we got a good fashion ache icon for you. Leni Kravitz. Yeah, he's always shirtless. Yeah, Leni Kravitz. What if you just did exactly you Lenny Kravitz. Yeah, he's always shirtless. Yeah, Lenny Kravitz.

What if you just did exactly what Lenny Kravitz fashion style is, you know what I mean? All right. Yeah. Dude, give me a shirtless Lenny Kravitz. Yeah, that's not the, I mean, that would be cool. How does he even find these clothes? I don't know.

Wasn't it like his dressed up shit looks good too? That suit. You could do the jean jacket thing there too. He's got a huge head. He's got a huge head. Yeah, look as big as head is his head is tremendous. Yeah Hit click that one beneath that one He's fucking jacked. Yeah, I think the key is my arms. I need to get my arms jacked. Just fucking jacked

scroll down If you have jacked arms you can put on a sleeve of shirt and everyone's dude. There you are That's me fuck yeah, why can't you do that? You're gonna dress poly shore in the 80s? Keep scrolling Telling you his his he is exposed how about that middle one the middle down one down See you you start like that then you get on stage and you take your fucking jacket off. Yeah, you're gonna take it off anyway Take it off I can't believe I didn't drink yet

Today, yeah, I had a cocktail on a plane. So I was like kind of priming the pump. Yeah, what time is it? Three what do you have to do today go home? We're gonna do sleep hanging out with your kids. Yeah great Yeah, we sit on your arm. Oh, gonna do sleep hanging out with your kids. Yeah. Great. Yeah. What's that on your arm? Oh, is that okay? What's it all? Yeah. I need to shape my arms.

What do we learn today? We both neither of us want to see the pyramids. I don't know what I dress like when I go to Medellin with you or Bogota. I wanna go to South America. I'm going to Europe. I don't know when you're going to Europe. Any bringing the whole family on your tour? On no way, dude. Do you know how fucking crazy that would be with those two guys?

I'm bringing the whole family with me. Right, but we're doing city hopping on some of these legs. Really? Well, like some of them you stay, I'm like, I like the days off to like chill, but like, in some cases, it's like, all right, this city, and then next city the next day, it's like, they can't do that for a couple of weeks.

No, no, no, no, no. They're too little. No, no, no. You're a kid's kid, I mean, they can go. Yeah, we're doing a big European trip this summer. You are? Yeah, before Georgia got a college like a president. But will you tour?

And then I'm going to go, I'm going to hit parts of Europe after I think or before. I'm going to do something really minute. Like I want to go to Greece. But then when what is that? What will you do with the family? Two weeks or 10 days in Italy. That's awesome. And then are you going to move around Italy or just stay in one place?

I think, I don't know. We haven't figured out, we're trying to plan it out now. What I love to do is go on Instagram, I'm talking about Instagram a lot, but go on Instagram and type in, and follow hashtags of Italy. Yeah. And then you get great fucking recommendations

of places to go when people tag Italy. Yeah. We, I think I want to try to surprise them and take them to Paris for one night. Like just fucking bounce to Paris one night. Yeah. I think that's the, but you know, Leanne, you can't fucking surprise her. I don't like surprises. Why are we doing this? Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. She's texting me. I got you a dentist appointment and you can't like prizes. Why are we doing this? Hmm. Hmm.

She's texted me. I got you a dentist appointment and you can't cancel it. I can't let all the time. You gonna cancel it? Oh, hold on. What? Are you literally, where are they fucking?

Are you calling the dentist right now? No fucking trying to deal with this god damn it motherfucker. All right. We gotta go. I gotta do a business. Okay. Are we done pretty much? Um, it's fine. Fucker. All right. Let's wrap it up. So do we? I mean, we can't we can. Yeah, sure. Is there anything else we want to talk about? Uh, now we I mean, yeah, we can't we can yeah sure is anything else we want to talk about Now we kind of Oh The Nell boys. What's that? Oh, you don't know this I mean I mean it's it's a podcast

I actually don't know if I'm accurate in this, but it's this guy Steve from Steve will do it on Instagram and Battery yeah, I know like and they had Trump on and then YouTube took him down. YouTube took him down. Yeah, why? I don't know, I didn't read to it. But that fucking Steve will do it. I fucking cracks me up. He's hilarious.

He bought, he bought, did you see him by Kodak Black, a dunk? By a dunk? A dunk, a dunk to car. It's in a car in South Florida. And it's like a cut. A dunk, a dunk's a car. It's a car in South Florida. And it's like a cutless, I think, but with like 30 inch rims, candy coated paint, and he brings it to Kodak Black. You can tell Kodak Black is,

because he just got shot, is on paint pills and might have had a cocktail. And he can't figure out if this is real or not. And he's like, no, it's yours, it's yours. And the fucking, and Kodak Black the whole time, is like, you're fucking with me. You're fucking with me. He's like, no,, no, it's yours, it's yours. And the fucking and Kodak packed the whole time, like you're fucking with me. You're fuck with me. He's like, no, I'm not fucking with you, tears.

And he goes, don't fuck with me on this. You gotta swear you don't fuck with me. And he's like, I'm, he's like, I'm giving you a dunk. And he's like, why? He's like, because you got a shot. I want to get you a dunk. And he's like, no. And I mean, they're like, you could tell Kodak's

a little out of it, but they're like, he's like, no, no, and at the very end of the video, he does what I have not the balls to do. He goes, I'm just fucking with you, it's not yours. And then Kodak bucks like, ah, and then he's like, I'm fucking with you, it's here. But like, I couldn't do that. Yeah. Because it's Kodak black and he's like,

he's like, I'm fucking with you, it's not yours. And you're like, oh, dude, he's great. He gives everyone fucking money. It is crazy. I've seen clips of him and I seem to go like jewelry stores and drop like $1.2 million. Pull him up, pull him up. Would you pull him up?

I'm the same. It's crazy. Yeah, he like, yeah. Not, not Kodak Black. Typing Steve will do it. He texted me one time out of the blue and he was like, I wanna drink three bottles of wine with you. And I was like, done.

Yeah. You texted the right fucking guy. Yeah. Crazyest moments. What's NELK? I don't know. It's 27 minutes. We're not watching that.

No, no, we're not going to watch this. No. Right, right, right, right. Click on people ask, what does Steve will do it, do? Content creator, Instagram model, YouTuber, initially started making videos in 2017. Damn, it's not long, dude, that is not long. Yeah, I know, I know. It's not long and he's, I get a kick out of the kid.

I know, I say, kid, I don't know how old he is. He's 20, he's 30, 20, yeah. And his podcast with Bob Menary, they're just fucking killing it right now Like they're they're fucking kill nicks are on every feed. I see. Yeah, that's great, man That's great. I think they're he's a lot of fun to watch dude. He's I get a kick out of those guys. I'm not obviously had you know if you ever want to come over here and give us jewelry or something Oh, yeah, oh, we want something., please. I don't have a re-shot melee. Okay, all right. Let's get out of here. All right. All right. I love you. Love you too.

Bird time, time and bird. One goes top and swap the other. Where's the shirt? Tom tells stories and birds. The machine. There's not a chance and hell that they'll keep and clean. Here's what we call, to bears one cave. No scripts, a bed of booze, amateur, fatology, dirty jokes, ranchy humor, no apologies. Here's what we call, to bears one cave. you