2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 151 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

It's another week of 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer! Bert interviews Tom about his inspirations for fitness, sex, comedy and his perspective on funding your own projects. They discuss pioneers in the standup comedy world like Dane Cook and Louis CK, Bert shares what he learned about history on his trip to Italy, and how Jesus definitely wasn't white. They try to see if they can name all the presidents, they call Dr. Andrew Huberman to ask a series of health questions about drinking, fitness and psychedelics and get Lex Fridman to hop on the phone to check in. https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/bertyboytourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com/

Hey Andrew, you are given one sentence. You get to share with America about alcohol. Most healthy adults can safely consume. There we go. One to two drinks per week before the next one. Okay, alcohol says it's not a set end. You're cutting out, you're cutting out, you're cutting out. 100%. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, Thanks for having me over.

Thanks Tom. Do you ever watch Selects Revens Podcast? I've seen clips, I haven't like watched them. I'm supposed to do it, but I don't think I can. I'm going to be in Red Rocks. He has the most thoughtful questions where he says, I do a Lex, I do a Lex Reemond question. And by the way, I hope I, it doesn't, sometimes I say things on this podcast, it sounds like I'm doing a big deal.

I think Lex lives in Austin. No. Yeah. Does he really lives in Austin? Oh, but why don't I do his podcast, why I'm in Austin? Hey, how about my invite, Lex? Yeah, what the fuck, Lex? He did a podcast with Tim Dillon, that's really good.

Really? He did one with Mark Norman, and Mark Norman, you could tell Mark thinks he's bombing the whole time, because Mark normally bombs one podcast, but But he's like he's great. We did too bears. He's like, am I doing okay? so Lex Freeman this ready, okay Tom You don't talk much about depression, but I'm assuming you've dealt with it as an insightful man who has explored all aspects of his life.

Well, red. What's your approach to depression? Jesus, Lex. You're right, and I wasn't expecting to go there. You'd be good on the X-Freedman's podcast. He did that to Jordan Friedman. Jordan Friedman? Jordan Peterson? and I wasn't expecting to go there. You'd be good on Lex Freeman's podcast. He did that to Jordan Friedman. Jordan Friedman, Jordan Peterson.

Jordan Peterson? Jordan Peterson? Because Jordan Peterson is dealt with depression. I guess he's talked about it. And Lex Freeman did a great podcast. He does great podcast. I'm gonna give you, like, not all of them are for me. Like when you talk about talk to a scientist

and then Lex Friedman's like an AE scientist or something. Is he, Alex, is he like a, AE? Is he, but is he, is he also like a mathematician? Isn't he like something? He's Russian. That's okay. He's Russian. And he likes the party. He does? Well, he's like, I think he's like a together guy, but he does like the party. He dude, this motherfucker gets up. This is why I like Les Freben. He inspires you. Okay, Tom, who inspires you these days? Different people inspire me. I pull it from different aspects.

So like, we talk about, you know, the fitness stuff, I get inspiration from... Give me names. Well, I'll get inspiration from... Give me names. Well, I'll write them down. Give me names. First, Sean, Sean Nick's who I work with. Sean Nick's, you trainer, and a great photographer. Great photographer.

Great photographer, you really hit two birds with one stone. I really did. Two caves with one bird. Two. Keep going. Mark Bell. Mark Smelly Mark Bell. Smelly Bell, yeah. Mark Bell. Mark Smelly Mark Bell. Smelly Bell, yeah.

Mark Bell had the best post the other day that I reshared. Can you go pull up Mark Bell? People say, go just go to his Mark Bell. He tagged me in it. It was so interesting because you know, I'm so sensitive that the first time I heard of Mark Bell, I was like, oh, he fucking hates me. Which one time I heard of Mark Belger and Mark Bell, I was like, oh, he fucking hates me.

Which one? Right there, the one within the dead center, dead center. Right, that one. Can you read that? You read that. Yeah. I hear people say it's easier for you because you're rich and it's easier for you because you're ripped.

It's easier for you because you're on steroids and they are right. Be rich, be less fat, be ripped, be on steroids. If you think something I have or something someone else has, would make your life better or easier, go and earn it or go get it. Race to zero followers, hashtag Race to Zero. Go back to the thing, go back to his picture,

hit the picture, hit the tag, who did he tag in that picture? Bert Christ, oh wait, that says why I'm in the studio. Oh you're right. Oh, and Bert Christ, oh it's a bunch of people. I thought it was just me. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy.

I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy.

I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy.

I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a got it. I know. I am that, keep going. He was 330. 330? 330, a competitive world-class power lifter. And he, so that body that you see was under another, like, 100 pounds. No, no, no, I know. That's what I'm saying.

That's what mine is. That's what yours is. Right now, if you subtracted all my fat, I would be pretty ripped. Right. Like, I'm muscular as fucking shit. Okay. I can do this with my pot, my shoulder.

I mean, my fucking... Look at that thing. Jesus Christ. It's so much bigger than this one. Yeah. This one. I can't, like, my... Your mouth, this is the injured one. That bicep looks. It's that acts as a bicep actually looks good over compensates for the other

Okay, so keep going so Mark Bell. We're talking about inspiration. This is the Lex Friedman inspired podcast I mean sexually Rocco, so Freddie, you know huge inspiration I want to play a game with Lex Friedman. Things I know that you don't know. And I guarantee we never saw one night in Paris with Savannah Samson. I guarantee you Lex Freeman. Oh, by the way, I need everyone to know Lex Freeman. I think it's so fun.

I think it's so fun if people, no one will do it. It's like, you know, the whole thing, like it'd be great to just see everyone naked, you know? Just to like, it would be so fun if people were completely transparent about their kinks and like what they're into. I think it'd be so fun to learn because people make assumptions, you know, about people,

that would be the best to learn that. If you could put on a pair of X-ray glasses, what are you into? And you just see that like someone's like, you know, I like, that's a fucking interesting movie pitch. Is a guy not who sees dead people, but'd be like, what are you into? And then you just see that like someone's like, you know, I like that. So the interesting movie pitch is a guy not who sees dead people, but he sees people and then you see like a, and then you see them in their sexual thing they like what they like. Yeah, he could like turn it on dog chains.

Yeah. Man, that would be so fun, right? You just see me going, so you love me. And then the glasses and then the person turns to the lian and just see what shows are going. Nope. Nope. Do are going, nope. Nope. Do the dishes, motherfucker. Yep.

All right. Sexually, Rocco, so Freddy. Absolutely. Okay. Who are your biggest comedic inspirations? That's, I take a lot of inspiration at different times from different people. You know my favorite thing to say me?

Mm-hmm. I, my favorite thing to remember before I go on stage because I forget is I think I met my funniest as a stand up on stage when I go, when I go on stage in a silly mood. Silly for me is the best way to... So you loosen up your roll, I say, oh it's so loose. Ha ha ha.

I just feel like... Where are my poor skis? Dude, dude, dude. I just feel like silly is fun, like playful. And like it's the best way for me to go on stage and I forget and the person that reminds me of that is actually Eddie Murphy. Because Eddie Murphy, when he was like 21, doing stand up, there was a silliness with which he went on stage.

And so I try to remind myself of that. Like I'll just look at a photo of him, just like I'm saying, he was so masterful, but that silliness is what I, a spot you're to be like. Yeah. I took a lot of inspiration for, you know, I told you I funded and shot my own

basically, well, not basically episode of television that I wanted to make. I spent a fortune doing it. How much? Give me a price point on just low hands, like taps. What I spent on it? Yeah. Dude, I spent a million dollars on it. I can't wait to see this. It looks like more.

First of all, I know what 40 grand looks like when you spend it, because that was your dance video. And that thing looked like a million dollars. Yeah, this is gonna be for real? Actually, more, but really? A little more, yeah. Fuck, yes. See, that's where my head's at. But that inspiration I got no joke for short of doing that was from Louis. Because he gave me again because no because I remember Louis.

For some people. Well, it's not it's that I talked to him a while ago. This is where I got the idea to actually. And who introduced you to Louis? Keep going. You introduced me to Louis. Thank you fucking finally. This whole thing I'm just trying to get burnt written down. Okay, keep going with Louis thing. So I remember talking to Louis once about, this is a while ago, remember when we first started

doing the live shows during the pandemic? Like when I was doing YMH, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Louis did them too? No, no, no, no. So he and I, He and I,

He and I talked during that period after we'd done a couple. And he goes, you know what you should do. Because I was like, these have become very popular and they're very successful in the bringing and all this revenue. Because you need to take the profits from like one or a couple and actually spend that money on making something awesome so that when people go to the next one, they're like, oh, it's not just the same show again, you're raising the value.

So we started to do that within the live shows. Every time we would do another live show, we would spend more money on like the original content, like this sketch. So this last one spent like several hundred thousand dollars, make it. Oh, okay. But then I'm already writing down notes for our live show

about what we should do. Because, but it's, and what you realize is that it's worth it. It's worth it to it for the entertainment value. But that conversation also made me go, I should take some of this excess that I'm making from touring and from, and make something I want to make. And so that's why I wrote this show. You have a title for it?

Yeah, I don't want to say it. But for whites only. Yeah, it's like, it's our water fountain is what it's called. I used to have a joke about that. You know, it was really upset about segregation. The guy making water pountains. Yeah. You know, he must have been like, they were going to drink out of the same one.

I was telling him to it at the time. You know what it's like. You go in. So that was the inspiration to, like, I'd written this thing and what I was going to do originally was just shoot one of these like short films And I wanted to make it. Yeah, I've done that before and I was like I'll just make one and then I had that idea where I was like You know what I should I should shoot this whole make make multiples make it a television show and I talked to producer and

You know he gave me, I go, he goes, how much do you want to spend? I didn't say a million dollars. I said significantly less. He's like, I think we can do it for that. And then as we're getting into the production, it was like, the price just kept going up and up. And at one point, I was just like,

I guess I'm in on this. Yeah. And I've seen a couple of cuts. It looks, it looks like it's going to be a cut. Should I cut it looks it looks when I get to see a cut I should wait it to watch it when you're done I think it would be most fun to show you it can like completely yeah, well you know, I'm gonna love it regardless I think you're gonna laugh Very very hard can I tell you and by the way, I know I'm about getting trouble with my my quote unquote team when I say this

Yeah, so we were in a development deal that team when I say this. Yeah. So we were in a development deal that someone showed up and just was like, Amen, I'm not ready. This is yesterday. This is yesterday. At the in the meeting. Before the meeting, they were like, I can't, I'm not going to make this meeting. I'm not ready. From your team? No, no, no. Someone in the team. Yeah, I'm not ready. And by the way, I'm in a few deals right now. So if you think, I'm talking about you, I'm not. Okay, by the way, I'm in a few deals right now. So if you think I'm talking about you, I'm not Okay, so I know there's actually a couple The couple people that there's one thing just called me like a second ago who is also like amen I can't make them. There's a lot of people I think since COVID a lot of people's idea of What a work we look is like is a little different than what it is and so

And so by the way, and I'm also not talking about you, okay? Okay. Mother fucker. Like I just realized there's another dude that's like, hold on, I thought we were cool, I told you. Yeah. So, so I said, I said, I literally in the meeting yesterday, this dude that I've, I wanted to work with this guy

a couple times, he's just like, I'm not ready. I don't have the, I don't have the thought out, I'm not there yet. And then I was just like, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out. I literally He's just like, I'm not ready. I don't have the thought out. I'm not there yet. And then I was just like, I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I literally said in the meeting, I'm out. I'm done. I'm not gonna wait for Hollywood to make something

because I have a project that it took a while to get the script. I have our project, which obviously we're still waiting for a script. I have this project where no one... Our project, by the way, homeboy's coming out. I know. I a script. I have this project where no one our project by the way Homeboys coming out. I know I'm excited. I'm excited But it's like that's the way Hollywood works There's and and look if anyone kill right now if kill was listening he go

That's how Hollywood works. Yeah, it takes a while But it's and that's true and it's true But the the thing me and you operate on is, I'm not, I don't have to wait. I sat in the meeting and I said, I have money. I wanna make something. The thing I wanted that I pitched, that everyone loved, that I go,

I just wanna make it. And it's interesting because everyone has a different take. My business manager was like, let's do it. He's like, yeah, I would love to double down on your money. Like that's the people that bet on themselves when the biggest. But I drew inspiration from you because you were like, I'm gonna make my own thing.

And I was like, for real, you legit made your own thing, didn't put me in it, which is totally cool. I got it, you know, animals a lot more doubt than I am. But like, but again, I'm sure Melania was available, but, uh, no, fucking, how come no one ever puts me in anything? Anyway, so, but I go, I'm gonna fucking make my own thing. I'm gonna make my own thing and just do it

and write it for myself, but make, write it what makes me laugh. That's of course how to do it. Because, because even when we did the machine, I went through and if I didn't like a scene, I just rewrote it, it was like, I take it a Peter and go, what do you think of this? And Peter and Kale, and they'd be like,

love it, let's do it. And I'd be like, great. And then, and so I go, I was like, fuck it. I'm just gonna do my own thing. I'll make it myself. Not gonna spend a million dollars. But you are making a show that you wanna make? Well, it's so funny.

The second I said, the second I said, I'm doing that in that meeting, literally on the car ride home. Judy's like's like to these like two meetings at your house on Friday Fucking dot dot and dot dot dot I I'm still on your team if you want to make it, but let's make it with other people's money And I was like, oh, I just want to make it. I'm just so tired of fucking Hollywood. What is it though? Is it a show? Yeah, it's a sitcom. It's not sitcom. It's a single camera. I want to do a single camera sitcom where I because I know what makes me funny and know what I know where I excelled in the machine

I wish I had more of it. In all honesty, that's my only regret is I'd never seen myself on anything and now that I see myself on stuff I go, oh my god, I'm funny. Here's the part though. This is like I mean definitely, definitely take your meetings and have your, you know, conversations. Yeah. You know, yeah, you got to part with your own money when you spend your money. Yeah. But it makes it a hundred percent your thing and your decisions and your choices. And you don't have to consult or ask anything. And that's the advantage of spending your own money to do.

See, I would get, I'd be very honest. I would want, like it's so funny. There are people that like say, say, say I get a rogue and deal and I get a hundred million dollars, whatever. $110 million dollars, whatever. $110 million dollars whatever you got. Say I get a Rogan deal and I get a lot of money. There are people that I think are, I use the phrase worth their BMW. Meaning everyone you pay in Hollywood, the first thing to do is they're going to be

on W for money. And so ultimately you got realize, I'm paying a bunch of BMW notes. At the end of the day I'm paying BMW notes. So like, are you worth your BMW? It's the way I look at it. And there's people that are not worth their BMW. They're not. I see them in their BMW and I resent them. As they pull into Valet and I'm like, that's a nice one.

Five series? Wow, the thing I go, you don't earn your BMW. Yeah, and I know because I bought that part. Yeah, and so you gotta earn your BMW. And there's a dude, I know, Kale that book. Yeah, and so you got to earn your BMW and there's a dude I know kale earns his Range Rover. Yeah kale earns kale Ernst is like when you're actually and kale actually at once I'm having BMW that is gone Hey, man, I bring it back tomorrow.

Alright, I'm just wondering if there's a car. I've been drinking. I see him 10 minutes. Hey dog, I'll bring it back. Hey man, where are you? Oh fucking, but kale, like there are people I would hire that I go, that guy is Peter Attentio. If I would hire him, whatever he wants, I would pay to direct something the way he directs

The his the way he collaborates the way he kind of works with someone. Yeah, I'd go. Yeah, like that's a fucking Fabulous thing is I love Alan covert Alan covert is like a I'd work with him for the rest of my life He just is a there are people that you go they earn there they win you because they're so easy not It's so easy to just not earn your money Yeah, Hollywood yeah, it's so easy to go to most people most of the people just sit in a room and just go You know I gotta be out. I'm gonna say this I think we'd use a person of color and that's what their one note is you're like yeah We're already thinking of that fuck face. Yeah, I'm so funny it's so funny. I don't even, that doesn't even,

thanks for weighing in. Yeah, okay, I'm, boy, I said it. I said it, so I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be, you're like, just fucking be creative. Help me be creative. And then obviously we're gonna do the right thing when it comes to casting, but fucking how we be creative. How many black people do you have in your new project?

Considering it's your money. Yeah, when you put your money or your mouth is, okay, how many trans, black, do you have in your? I can tell you is Hannibal in your thing? No. For real? No, I have, you know, Hannibal just just has a lot of music nowadays lately. He does. He's making music. He's fucking good. He's talented. Yeah, Hannibal is super talented. Hannibal's a fascinating, dude. Definitely. And it is definitely somebody who goes. I'll do this on my own. Hannibal. Yeah, is a Hannibal's don't worry. I'll earn my BMW from myself kind of motherfucker. Yeah, yeah. Okay, how many people are in this project? I'm counting in my head right now. Really? Yeah, they're not

what one two three What one two three? Four nice yeah, they're yeah, yeah, and there are you've never had a blind spot to race though Like you've never been like our tone deaf. No, there's Asians. There's Latinos. There's a you are lucky elderly There's oh, that's right. I've seen your videos. I know what you like a lot of elderly There is some I mean I think you're gonna You're gonna cry. Did you give it to your managers and agent? No, they have been because they I told them what I was doing And they're like when do we see it and I'm and like now we've actually We've shot every like first we shot everything shot.

Everything shot. It's, it's like, oh, we need another probably eight weeks of post. So at this point, seven weeks and post. And then they're, they're chomping at the pit. They're like, we want to see it. We want to see it. Yeah, you're, you're going to see it. Don't worry. You're the first people I've sent it to.

First person I ever met. What's that? I'm very excited about it. First person I ever met, what's that? I'm very excited about it. First person I ever met who doubled down on himself, Dane Cook. Dane, Louis. Yeah, Dane did an amazing job of that.

He was the one who was like, connect to people, connect to fans, reach out to them. He would, he also four-walled arenas on a tour. I don't know, a lot of people know that. For real. So you go like when, when most of us as comedians tour, whether it's a theater or an arena, a promoter, you work with a promoter, right? You get the deal and there's like, here's your guarantee, here's your, here's your backend, here's like, you know, here's the breakdown for a walled. He would just just go like what's it cost to rent the United Center? And they'd be like, you know, 350,000 dollars. It's got to be more than right. Well, I'm just making up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he would be like here's the check see what it's

It's a rent Madison Square Garden. That's one of the most expensive. That's actually the most expensive one. Yeah, that's a very expensive. There's actually The Emilio Center in in Florida Tampa. There's actually the Amelia Center in Florida, Tampa. There's a lot of times I'm doing the Amelia Center. I haven't announced yet. People do the garden and don't make money sometimes. For real? Yeah. That was in 2006. To rent Madison Square Garden? Well, that was far away. Yeah. So then, okay, but hang on when you four wall something yeah You are just running the space you haven't gotten all the employees and everything right Because that I know for a fact you're that doesn't you're just running the space and then on the money You make you got to pay out everybody probably yeah, I mean it's much cheaper to rent barclays

That's which is why a lot of acts are going there when they do their New York plays. You know, I wondered, it's a fashion to Barclays and I was like, why? He actually can, he's so popular in that New York area that he, he did an arena tour in the New York area. Yeah, he did, like a New York arena, a Barclays arena, a Massas Grigard, and like he did, he did all of them. Okay, so you know what I'm doing on my tour? Yeah. I'm gonna soft pitch it to you. I gotta, I'll just tell you after,

because I don't wanna fucking. Okay, this is what you're doing on tour? Yeah. Yeah. I don't wanna do it, I was just wait. I'll wait, I'll tell you the name of the door. Wait, is the new tour? Yeah, I'm doing a tour starts January. Okay. So I'm just going to run in January. Yeah, yeah. Are you doing new hour? New hour. Yeah, new hour. You have it already?

Yeah, I'm fucking three hours. I was I toured all through the pandemic. I'm fucking so much material. I got to get rid of shit. So, uh, so yeah I have a new hour from just going to Europe of the girls. I'm calling it the I'm calling it the And I'm hitting all For real How long will this last? It's gonna take a while! I came up with the other night, and bad, you know what I was like? I was like, because I like the font of the tornado.

Yeah, it is. Because the font's in the emoji, you know what I mean? So the font, I like the font of the tornado, and then, uh, and then I, you know what I mean? So the font, I got the font of the tour name, and then, and then I, you know how many people live in one of them? Yeah, yeah, not a lot. Yeah.

Yeah. Did your team know about this? What do they think? I love it so much. I get so fucking excited for that. And when will you announce that? I just announced when I announced that I won October 10th. That's when you're gonna do it.

Or is that when this comes out? Oh no, no, no, no, no. They just said that we're gonna put an announce earlier. So no, I won't, it'll be soon. Yeah. I'll give you, I'll tell you when I get done, I'll tell you numbers of what that's going to cost to do that. I'll tell you now, based on the tour that I've been on and continue to do. Yeah. If I can don't.

Terrible idea. You don't need to do that. Let's go back to my questions, Tom. Okay. We were talking about inspiration and we covered fitness, sex and comedy standup. And we talked about your new show. So when you get done with that, I have a plan for it. Really? Well, the person you could really suggest on your website.

It's an option. So I would just do that. And by the way, I would do that and then just keep making that. Like, because here's the thing that I don't, here's the thing that bums me out, right? Yeah. Very candidly. And I hope this doesn't come off wrong to anyone. But like the cabin was a very big success.

And the cabin for people who don't know is the show that you made on Netflix. On Netflix? It was trended in the top 10. Yeah. On Netflix, it was the highest rated, non-scripted series they had for a period of time. And it was fun as fuck to do.

And we got kind of fucked on the pandemic because they weren't green lighting anything, so we went into the pandemic. Like it aired during the pandemic. But like I'm bummed that I'm powerless to do that again. Like now people in Netflix would be like, oh yeah, we did do it, but it was so long ago, I don't know if it's gonna have the same audience

and whatever, like it's just, you know, it's like, it's not, I'm certain if I walked in in Netflix and sat down and was like, I wanna do another season of the cabin, they'd be like, yeah, let's do it. Maybe they would, but I'm power, I hate that I'm powerless to it. That I can't just decide to start doing the cabin. Oh, right. Because I loved it.

I had a lot of fun doing it. And I would love to do another season. I would love to do another season on a fucking boat and have the cabin be inside. Like I'd love to do, I'd love to do my, oh, I'm not doing my own thing, but I would love for Netflix to be like, yeah, yeah, of course.

But obviously it's gotta go up the thing and then they're like, what was so long ago? Do people remember it? Like there's a bunch of analytics that go in. And that's what I love about doing your own thing is that everyone goes, that you get to decide if you get picked up for a second season. Yeah, exactly. Like I don't, I never liked getting the decision of getting picked up for a second season. That always gave me anxiety. Yeah. And that's why it's one thing I hated about travel channel, it was a matter of you into piece paper. Yeah. And that's one thing I hated about travel channel, it was a matter of you into piece paper. Yeah, I need to write something down.

Austin, do you have me a piece paper? You're just writing on one of those hundreds. Here do you want to write it? I go, go, go. Big ass calendar from Jessie's Pizza. Look at this. What's this? This is his thing.

So this is your months, right? Don't get too close on me. I'll show you that. So the months are in the back. get too close on me. I'll show you the exact one. So the months are in the back. I cut it in half so I was already done half the year and it went to me. But it's really big. It goes on your wall.

And it's called the Big Ass Calendar. And then these were the months are in the back. And then he's got the months written out straight line here so you can see your month like linearly, linearly. And I really fucking love it. And it looks like a book where you can see your month like literally literally mm-hmm I really fucking love it. It looks like a book But you can take with you and for me, it's more fun to write stuff down. What are you writing? Nothing. It's for after okay um uh

But I love that. I love where do you get inspiration from? Where do you get inspiration from for standup? The girls in my blend then. I don't know, I think I miss here things a lot. That makes me giggle. So that's a big thing about standup as I miss here things. What were we? It is funny how they just fuel stuff.

My boys, they just... It's kind of killing me. So I actually was thinking when I was college, I may retire from comedy. Cause I don't, what am I gonna write about? Yeah, like they're gone, they're dead. They're dead? To me.

Cause they have it to college. Yeah, and they love me with her. It's just me and her. What do you think you're gonna do? Drink. What do we gonna do? You know what last night went to fucking dinner. Yeah. And the end's cool with being quiet, which is fine, which is fine. If you're in a library or the DMV. But when you're out with your husband, it's just me and her and we're not drinking. She's just like this. I want to say something. She's just like this.

And I went say something. She's like, how am I going to say? I was like, okay. So when our food comes, I go, and I like this Mexican restaurant. Yeah. It's called the Kielas. I said, how was your, whatever she got?

And she's a lot of it. And she goes, okay. And what that's not, how life works. You got to really kind of blow it up. I took a video of us and she goes, okay, I want that's not how life works. You got to really kind of blow it up. I took a video of my, my fajitas were phenomenal. They were the best fajitas I ever had in my entire life. I've never had a better fajita shrimp fajitas. The perfect amount of shrimp,

they even lean, like sometimes they'll give you 11 shrimp. You're like, no, it needs to be 12 shrimp. So I get six and one and six and the other. And I ate all the vegetables. The vegetables weren't runny, they were like crisp, and like they were done well. And their sauce is awesome. And they gave me, I mean, everything was amazing

about this meal. That's how I answer the question. What do you like here? Is it clear? Okay, not my favorite. And do you see a future of just conversations? Well, I got a teacher had a fucking, you know, she's got to start partyin' balls

and doing coke or something, like, to like, step it up. Yeah. You know, because like, you live this life with, I know that people get shitty when I talk about Leanne like this on this podcast. Literally, I get DMs like, bro, Leanne's a little, I love her podcast more than yours. Seriously, Bert, I think you have really issues

with the Americans. You need to be in America, I'm fine. He trust me, I'm fucking fine. But, I will say that like, when you have really issues with the Americans. You need to be American, I'm fine. Okay, trust me, I'm fucking fine. But I will say that like, when you have kids, there's all this razzle dazzle around you. There's all this excitement, all this, well, shit. Someone's building, can we get another water? Hold on one second, okay.

She's snoring, the water out of her nose now. It's coming out, like, there's so much excitement with kids that when they even like now like last night We know the funnest thing we were doing was tracking the girls on life 360. We're like, oh shit. They're at sushi They're getting sushi. We got sushi with them. Guess what? What just so put this in it? 14 years from now Julian will go to college If 14 years full of fucking

Yeah, just like dad, okay, I don't want you to be mad. Like those are the best, those are already, those happen at the time, yeah. Phone calls, dad, I know you're on the road, I wanna bother you, okay, how would we get a penny out of Julian's nose? Like those phone calls are coming. Those are the best things in life.

And then, and then, we thought the end was pregnant in Italy. And I was like, fuck, yes. You did? I did, yeah, yeah. She didn't think she was. She was like, but we did. She didn't ever period. And I was like, and I just was like, oh,

I'm having a little girl and we're naming it Italia. And we're gonna have fucking, we'll name it Rome. And we'll just, we'll just, we'll just, Would you be a super jack to have a, we'll name it Rome. And we'll just, Would you be a super jack to have a kid right now? Yes, yes, yes, yes. I would love to have a kid, because I'm not done being a parent. I just started really.

Like I feel like I just started, now they're going and they're, it's like Georgia comes in here and it's like hanging out with an adult. Yeah, but Ila, yeah. Yeah, that I love. Yeah. Yeah, that fucking kid. I saw that clip with you in Santina where you were like, you know, she came in, she was like, you know, it was Hale Hitler or not. Hey, Hitler.

She was the one when we were, when we were, I didn't know. Okay, this is a fun game. Okay. Did I'm going to say before Jesus or after Jesus and you gotta tell me if that happened, okay? Okay dinosaurs Way before how many years several hundred thousand Yeah 35 Million yeah many many I thought it was like 5,000 years before Jesus. I thought it was like five thousand years before Jesus I thought it was like dinosaurs

Then Jesus then everything else. I didn't know that it was right up to there. I thought it was dinosaurs then Adam and Eve Jesus and everything I didn't know there was anything in between dinosaurs and Jesus. Okay. I thought it was Jesus Then everything else. Okay, and Ila I've never seen this child laugh harder in her life. She goes, I can't believe you're my dad. She goes, you thought, she goes, what about Mesopotamia? And I was like, is that, is that before Jesus? And she goes, it's the birthplace of man.

And I went, so that's before Jesus. She's like, yeah, Julius Caesar, before Jesus or after Jesus. Julius Caesar. First of all, yeah, Julius Caesar, before Jesus or after Jesus. Julius Caesar. First of all, did you know he was real? Yeah, he was a Roman emperor. I thought he was a play by Shakespeare. Like King Lear, that's not a real dude, right? King Lear? Google if King Lear's a real dude, Julius Caesar, before after Jesus. That's a good question. I can't say that I know the answer.

I found out, this after before, like 35 years before. 35, okay. Like he could have known Jesus. Maybe it's 400 years, something like that. But like his, the biggest Roman Empire, like I learned all this in Italy, and I kept just going,

okay, there was a real person. So apparently like Shakespeare wrote you, so Julius Caesar was just like Joe Biden, right? Like just a regular old guy and then he dies like they stab him a few times and then Shakespeare created Julius Caesar into the dude we know today. The reason we talk about Julius Caesar is because of Shakespeare. Shakespeare was a fucking gangster after Jesus, by the way. After 100 BC was Julius Caesar born in 100 BC, so 44 years before Jesus was born, Julius Caesar died. Yeah.

Isn't that fucking crazy? I never thought about it. Like it's it it overwhelms me when I started going here's what really fuck me up. So we go to the Vatican, right? And I'm like and I'm I buy you know I buy the St. Metals. So I buy a St. Metals, so I buy a St. Metal. And then I'm like, wait, is this a real person? Who? All of it. At the Vatican? Like I'm buying these St. Metals. Okay.

Is this a lady? Who is this real? Because here's what's fucked up. We have exact history on Julius, exact history on Julius Caesar. Sure. We've got exact facts on Alexander the Great before Jesus or after Jesus. Alexander the Great

after before Jesus. Before Jesus. Was it? Yeah. Fucking dude, it gets so so until the hunt before Jesus or after Jesus. After Jesus. after Jesus. After Jesus. Oh, Alexander is great way before Jesus. Attila the Hun after Jesus. We've got exact facts on these motherfuckers, right? Julius Caesar dated Cleopatra, we know this.

He dated her. She's the one that said him technically, you got to become an emperor, fuck being a leader. You need to run this shit. Yeah. Be a dictator. We have exact facts on him. This is all you picked up on your entire intro.

And then when it gets to Jesus, we're like, well, you know, kind of. And I'm like, I'm sitting there as a guy who's got his, I'm in the Vatican with his fucking cross on my chest. Were you respectful in the Vatican? Or are you like, wow. Hardcore, hardcore, hardcore, hardcore, hardcore. Very, very respectful.

And you make the sign of the cross. Oh, like, a hundred times, all double numbers. Don't I think that. Oh, that was fucking out of my mind. My girls did not give a fuck. Because, and then I'm sitting there going like, so, St. Peter, he's buried here, he was killed here, right? And I'm like, he's buried here. And they're like, and she's like, we're pretty sure it's

him. And I'm like, hold on, we know exactly where fucking Julius Caesar is. How do we kind of know where this guy is? She's like, well, you know, kind of things are weird with the, you know, but it's like, how do you get to see it? This really fucked me up, because I see myself as a guy who believes in God and I have faith or whatever. I'm not, I don't go to church, I'm not like the fucking Bible thumper.

But like there are exact facts on everyone in history. But then you got like, and then Moses was like, hey, yeah, yeah. Well, because there's so much, you know, there's actually, you know, what it is, is that the Bible is full of kind of birdisms, like some exaggerations to make the story better. Now you got me listening, yeah.

I mean, that's- When I was 33, I got killed by the Romans. Here's how it happened. That's exactly what it's going on. I grew up in Jerusalem, wasn't a very good student. I was gonna be a fucking what are you Coming guys? Carpenter carbon, but then I was like fuck up a dad's god. Yeah crazy my mom didn't even fuck my dad I just showed up. I mean we have these weird facts about Jesus that do not exist with anyone else Yeah, anyone else everyone else were like he was. They don't even know when Jesus was born.

You know that? Or wear. They don't have like any of these facts. Yeah. And I got so fucked up in the Vatican. It would be so great, because there's all these takes on it, which are pretty accurate that the way that we, that Jesus is depicted is so far off from what it should be.

They go, we're pretty sure he was actually a real man. And I went, hold on a second. There are priests. What do you mean we're pretty sure? What are you fucking talking about? You don't even know if he was a real, he's probably dark skinned, dark hair. But Julia, Caesar wasn't?

No, no, I know, but I'm saying that the way that Jesus has depicted in a lot of Western society at least, is like, blondish brown blue-eyed. That would be playing for the end one team. He looks like Chris Hemsworth, and people are like, yes, Jesus, it's like, that's not what Jesus looks like. Show me a picture of Jesus.

Like, we know Michael Angelo. Did you know his name was not Michael Angelo? Yeah, I thought it was Michael Angelo. Yeah, no, that I did know. Not a lot of- See like that image right there, that's like a movie star, right? He looks like Chris Hanzler.

Yeah, so now do Google search what Jesus- Black Lives Matter Jesus Christ. What Jesus Christ probably really looked like, you know? That's probably what J.C. looked like, you know? That's probably what JC looked like. For real? Yeah, but if people are like, I don't wanna pray to that guy. Ha ha ha.

That guy looks like he changes tires. I wanna get somebody that's a little more attractive. That's what Jesus looked like. I don't believe. But it's not like it's just a- You hear reaction by the way, it tells a lot. You're like, do you think they really think that's a Jesus? Yeah, because it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like seeing Superman your whole life and then they're like, Let me get a dozen glaze and I'll try a couple of the, it was chocolate donor holes. Can I get some of those? Hey, we got a wax and I shine 30 minutes no longer. Yeah, it's a they really did a good job punching up Jesus. Yeah, of course.

So wait like so go back to go back to ethnic Jesus. What's up dog? It looks like a fucking cage fight. He looks like he runs a body shop.. He looks like he runs a body shop. He's like, this is a body shop. He does the body shop. There's a dent. I'm gonna have, I can buff it out.

But if you really want it to be, look right. But how do they know that's what Jesus really looked like? Well, they're, they're basing it. They don't even know he's a real guy. They know he's a real guy. They know he's a real guy. They don't even know the dinosaurs are real. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

But they, but they, because you know, they guess on dinosaurs. They, this is all the stuff that happened. You mean like carbon dating? No, no. So I found out, this is what my daughters told me. So this is why, though, by the way. So it's the area that he was from, right? That actual geographical area, what people would have looked like, he was a,

what is it, a Jewish man about 30 years of age who lives in this time period, in this area, this is what people would have looked like. That's why they go, this is more realistic. How tall was he? That I've never heard. I bet it's 5'3". No, the average height of a man back then was like five three. Really? Yeah. Jules Caesar was like five four. Like everyone was tiny.

Let's see. In 2001, a forensic anthropologist which was created a model of Galilean man for BBC documentary son of God working on the basis of an actual skull found in the region. OK, so they did not claim it was Jesus' face. It was simply meant to prompt people to consider Jesus as being a man of his time and place since we are Never told he looked distinctive

He they never like he was a good little guy. Yeah, the five of the average who can do it. Hey see how tall Jesus was Those crucifixes were only like six feet big such a Fucking St. Peter asked to be crucified upside down. Yeah So he went cuz he wasn't worthy of being crucified the same way as Jesus Yeah, that was his rationale. This is the best thing you could do to someone who's five five Jesus was five five He's the same height as Rogan Wait Jesus does kind of look like Joe Rogan if he had a foot.

Like, what's that? Rogan grows a full beard like that. Put a wig on Rogan, I guarantee you he looks just like Jesus. Jesus was jacked, right? I don't know if he was jacked. He did kettlebells, they said that. Sleeped in tattoos. Yeah, sleeped up.

Yeah. So dinosaurs, the dinosaurs are... Yeah, Steve's up. Yeah, sleeped up. Yeah. So dinosaurs, the dinosaurs are... We definitely know that dinosaurs were real. Yeah, but they don't know if that's what they looked like. No, but I mean, like, sometimes there's complete... No, there's not. That was when I found out. There's not.

I thought when you go into a museum and you see the T-Rex, you're like, ah, cool. They dug, they were like, oh shit, you're dumb. And they dug the whole T-Rex and it's like sitting there like, sometimes there are a few fossils and they basically complete how they imagine this would all go together. But they found almost completed fossils of dinosaurs before. Have they seen full, yeah, not just fizzles? So they find the face, and then they're like, it pretty much looked like this.

But they'll find then a toe and a leg. Yeah, but when you go to a museum, that's not all dinosaur- Right, right, right. They got like one dinosaur bone, and then they go, oh, the rest is pretty much this. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Which I kind of agree with too. I think, look at that one right there. What is that? Can you make that one larger? That's a full, complete T-Rex rediscovered to put on this play, nearly complete, for serratops. That's fucking insane.

Found like that? That's real. And that was 3, 350 million years ago. Something like that. You're so good at this. Do you think you can get into digging up dinosaurs? I bet if you just randomly found one. Like, meaning you're in your backyard, you're digging a hole,

and then you find a toenail. I bet if you find one, you get addicted. You're like, I bet they're everywhere. You probably do, but it'd be all about like who you buddyed up with. You'd have to have like a friend who's like, you wanna go fucking look for some dinosaurs? Doing it so though, it's not the way to do it, you know?

Yeah, what do you just go to a park? Okay, guess what's here? Yeah, it'd be like. And dinosaurs are fuel, correct? What? Dinosaurs are fuel fuel what do you mean? The reason we have gas is because dinosaurs right I Don't follow dinosaurs decompose decomposed and then that created like oil right or something Just edit that out

All right So, just edit that out. Um, alright. I thought you were being a fossil fuel joke. What's, I was not, but I thought whatever fossil fuels. Yeah, so dinosaurs are fuel. Okay. Hmm, put this in the list of shit. I don't really understand Did you know that it's the moon is made out of green cheese not cream cheese? Green cheese What do you mean?

You've heard that you've heard that thing that old quote the moons made out of cream cheese. No, never heard that actually the old quote, the moons made out of cream cheese. No, never heard that actually. Type that in. But I mean, the moon is a big rock. I know, but I always thought the moon is made out of, I thought it was made out of cream cheese. Okay, it's the moon is made out of green cheese. It was never an actual historical popular belief

that the moon is made out of green cheese. It was typically used as an example of extreme credulity and meaning that was clear and commonly understood as early as 1638. The moon is made of green cheese. I'd never heard of it. I thought it was made out of cream cheese. I thought it was made out of cream cheese.

I thought it was the moon is made out of cream cheese. Oh, so and the quote is a statement referring to the fanciful belief that the moon is composed of cheese. Yeah, because I've heard the cheese reference before. Yeah, but I never... It's type in cream cheese. Yeah, I thought it was the moon was made out of cream cheese. Yeah. And it's cream cheese, which makes no fucking sense.

Not that... I guess on some nice it looks green, right? I have no fucking idea. I thought cream cheese. I thought it was made out of it's do you think Andrew, Hugh Berman and Lex Friedman would hear this and be like these guys are fully fucking are worded? I bet I guarantee you I bet both of them look it up like we're geniuses how so we're not burdened with all the shit they know. They know a bunch of shit that no one gives a fuck about.

I wouldn't say that. I think. No one gives a fuck about science. I would say, I don't care about science. Well, that's why they have followings those guys. No, no, I know that some people do. Right. But I guarantee you, they would look at us and be like,

they are totally untethered. They are not cl- they're not attached to reality They're not attached to I think they would be like we really need to teach more This is what's out there these fucking dolls. Yeah, I bet we'd it would be like It's like we just have a different skill set. Yeah, that's, that is true. We have a different skill set. I have a very, very, very, like I bet there's things that you'd talk to Andrew Huberman about and he'd be like,

no, no, like, like T'Kila being healthier than Vodka. He'd be like, that's actually not a thing. And I'd be like, well, I've tried it. I think my recovery. Yeah, look at my recovery. I'm in the green. Yeah. But I bet there's, I bet there's things that I what could we teach them

Like what if we what if we had a TV show where we taught lessons to brilliant people, but we we taught them our lessons What would it less is be that we would be teaching though? Belieb blind faith. That's it. Just bet on yourself, bro. That I'm black. Okay, ready? Yeah. Think about this.

No disrespect for Andrew, human and intellectual. Okay. On paper, of course they're successful. Right. There's geniuses. Yeah, they have great. As a matter of fact, I would say they're kind of falling short of their potential in my opinion

We have surpassed our potential. That's a really good point, right? Yeah We're like we're like the guy with no legs that wins the race these guys have like been getting grants and have degrees and their geniuses their geniuses. Yeah, find out what Lex Freeman IQ is. I guarantee you I got him by like 60 points below. You have. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I want to take an IQ test with Lex Freeman. What's Lex Freeman's IQ? You know he's someone who's got an IQ.

Like he's definitely taking an IQ test. Probably. He'd probably embarrassed about how high it is. I wonder if we can, I wonder if, do you think, do you think Alex Friedman, if I text him on Instagram right now, he would be like, he'd be like, you know what he would do? He'd be like, he'd be like, he'd be like,

he would, he would minimize the importance of IQ results. He'd be like, well, the thing is, but IQ isn't really that important. I'd score to 212. Doing a podcast with Tom currently, and we'd love to talk to you on the phone if you have a second. Tom Segura, he's a comedian.

At Lex Friedman is probably, how much do you want to about Lex Friedman as a dude who checks his Instagram once at the end of his day? He's probably not as a treat. He's like a huge human too. What do you think his IQ is? It's probably pretty high.

Calling him? Texting him right now. Hey Andrew, doing a podcast with Tom Segura. And we'd love to ask you a question if you have availability to hop on the phone right now. Those are the two geniuses we know. Yeah. Oh Louis CK just texted me. Hey Bert you're my inspiration. So crazy. Wow. That is crazy. How much fun was having Louis on your podcast? So fun. He was great. It was fun when you watch a guy like that who's just, he's untethered.

Like I'm certain, like I'm certain if like Lex hung out with Louie, I take that back. Louie is pretty, he's actually really intelligent. Yeah. Like he's like book smart too. Like he's like, have you ever seen his podcast with Shane Gillis about the presidents? No, I heard about it though. He knows everything about the presidents. Yeah, he's well, he has like a lot of specific knowledge and he's also, he's a pretty wise guy.

Let's play a game. Let's play a game, okay. It's called presidential tap out. Oh, I don't know. Shit about it. Paulston, pull up the presidents on your thing so we can't see them, okay? Just don't look.

Okay, so pull up the presidents, pull them up and we're gonna name presidents until we, one of us can't name a president anymore. You mean in chronological order? Nope, just a president. Oh, okay. A president, okay.

And then the first person who can't name a president, it goes back to the next person, he's got a name a president in order to tap them out. Okay. Okay, you ready? Yeah. Everyone play along with us. Do you have the presidents?

Okay. Okay, shall I go first Yeah, you go first Washington what's his first name? George, okay, you have to do the first name. There's two of them, right? I'm getting I'm just trying to leave for the Grover Cleveland Okay, I think I'm out Teddy Roosevelt

George Bush senior It's George H.W. Bush. Sip type. Okay. George W. Bush. Donald Trump, Harry Truman. Dishandre Jackson already. Abraham Lincoln, my hands are sweating. Joe Biden. Lyndon B Johnson. Uh, poke. Uh, Adam's fuck. Did you already say Jimmy Carter? Did you say...

You got one. You got one. Adam's. Did you say that? Yeah. You said Adam's. We did those. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

My hands are sweating. This is bad. Um, Gerald Ford. Good one. Very Ford. Yeah. How many do we not get, Holston?

Dozens. dozens real? There's 30 hold on stop stop stop scroll. Okay So how many presents are we up 52? No, no 46 We got third no, there's 30 left. Yeah, okay, we got we got that there's okay. There's FDR You took picked Teddy Roosevelt. There's FDR Right Frank and Delano Roosevelt. Okay, then there's um There's from the wig party. Well, as I'm saying we missed like the entire 1800s

Oh those guys are all fucking hamming eggers anyway. You guys named about 18 total. So then let's see. 20th century. Wow. Go to the very top, very top. First one is George Washington. We got that.

You got that. And Adam should have been our friend. You want to go the other direction? Yeah, that's the bottom. It's like Drake said, we go from the bottom to the top. Like John Adams, like, and we got the first two. Thomas Jefferson, we did. did not get Thomas Jefferson. I was never seen James Madison.

We did that that's embarrassing. I actually Madison. I know James Monroe. Yeah. John Quincy Adams. It's kind of the one I was guessing at. And we said, Vamburin. Never heard of William Henry Harrison.

Never heard, was he assassinated? Looks like he did. And it's a wig, he was a wig. Yeah. John Tyler, Tyler two, Tipper Canoe and Tyler two. Tipper Canoe and Tyler two, is that it? Tipper Canoe and Tyler two? Don't know.

Tipper can, okay. Polk, I would have thought of Zachary Taylor. Nope, my privilege. It's a little bit. Tipper canoe and Tyler too. Don't know. Tipper canoe. Okay. Polk, I would have thought of Zachary Taylor. Nope. My privilege. Miller Filmer. Miller Filmer. Is that what the film was named after?

I don't think so. Franklin Pierce, nothing. I've never heard of that kind. I've no Buchanan is. We're now at Abraham Lincoln. I can't believe I frig- Didn't fucking say Grant. Oh, you list these ass grant. Yeah, that's a

Brotherford B. Hayes James Garfields ago when I wouldn't know that Chester a Arthur no idea copper pot Grover Cleveland got Benjamin Harrison Benjamin Harrison Grover Cleveland again. He's pulling the Donald Trump William McNeely Grover Cleveland pulling the Donald Trump. William McKean me. Trevor Cleveland pulled the Donald Trump. Yeah, and that we're now The Kenley, Roosevelt. We didn't get taft. Jesus would draw Wilson also Harding, cool. FDR from here. We're in Eisenhower. We get Eisenhower. Yeah

Kennedy. Yeah, we got Nicky Johnson, Nixon, Ford. We did, yeah, I did see that. So we got Nixon. I said Nixon. Okay. Okay. That was really bad. Let's see if the two geniuses called us back.

I'm driving. Who's that? Huberman, call them right now. Andrew Huberman, you're live on two bears, one cave, first time caller, first time caller, big fan, big time listener. Thank you for everything you do in the health and wellness space. Science. Science. It's Bert Kreis, you're here with me and Tom Segura. Thanks guys. I've been told before that I look like each and both of you, so thank you. That's the nicest compliment I've ever got. Thank you.

Thank you very much, Andrew. And I've been told that I look like a less attractive version of you. So thank you very much. You guys represent my beard growth goals, but we can talk about the biology of beard growth all we want or not. But anyway, you're going to connect. Okay. We have a lot of common friends.

We have a lot of questions for you. First off, first of all, I have to get you on my podcast. I want to talk about I'll call. I know that we, everyone wants you on your podcast. You are all me and my trainer talk about the only reason I spend time in a sauna in a polar plunge is because of you saying, like, three days and three days is the way to go.

Yeah. I'd be delighted to come on. I'm a big fan of both of your work. We have a lot of friends in common and it would be a pleasure. Okay, first question, do you know your IQ? I do not know my IQ. Okay. Do you do you put any importance into IQ? Any value? Yeah, the history of IQ tests is such that you know,

it has some value in terms of predicting test taking performance in the academic setting but you know all the business that you've heard around emotional IQ and musical IQ and creative IQ being distinct from that all that is true. I mean I think what we can gather from 50 plus years of really good research is that the only thing that IQ tests predict is performance on that specific IQ test. So, not, but I wouldn't put it as. Oh, he's driving. He's driving.

That's what I'm saying. Are you there? He's really good at talking. Yeah, me. He's been doing his podcast for a while. He just hung up on me. Oh, this is probably lost his signal. He's really good at talking.

Like he's like, well, like a professor. But when you, when you ask him something, he says the answer like in a full sentence. And he likes it. Okay, Andrew, we got you. You there? Yeah. Okay. Okay, real quick, Tom and I are trying to, because we've been talking a lot about you and

Lex Friedman today. And we were talking about the differences between our quote-unquote IQs versus your IQs and how I'm sure we bring something to the table but we're not sure what it is. So here's a question. Do you do you do you think Julius Caesar was alive before Jesus or after Jesus? Oh my goodness here you're coming on history. This one's like a trick question. I would imagine Julius Caesar was alive after Jesus. I'm going to see it. You're probably going to be on history. That sounds like a trick question. I would imagine Julius Caesar, like, after Jesus. It's before Jesus.

Okay, see. Okay, okay. All right. Perfect. Perfect. So how many presidents do you think you can name? Tom and I together could come up with 16. Oh, goodness. I could probably, I remember this little jingle from elementary school, where it was like,

always like George Washington first president, Tom Adams, Jefferson Madison, then came Quincy Adams, and then I could probably list off some more recent ones, and I could probably, I could say two bushes, a trump, a Clinton, an Obama, a Carter, a Nixon, a, uh, right. Okay. You got it.

You already beat us. You already beat us. And now, Tom wants to, uh, hold on a second. Two things, uh, Andrew, uh, two things that I've, uh, taken based, uh, recently from you, is that I'm trying to get, uh, I try to get direct sunlight, uh, 10 minutes, like, um, uh, when I wake up and I, I feel much better about it. So thank you for sharing that tip. And the other one was that you shared about, I don't cold plunge if I'm strength training immediately

afterwards because you shared this fact about it, it could sort of work against the purpose like your muscle building. Yeah, just to make sure that we're clear on this for your audience. the purpose, like your muscle building. Yeah, just to make sure that we're clear on this for your audience, so cold plunge immediately after, or I would say in the four hours after a workout, probably not a great idea. If your goal is to get the adaptation

from that workout, a strength or the endurance, because the inflammation response is actually something you want. But if your goal is just to recover, so you can train more than go for it. Cold showers probably fine, but if you are really want to get down in the weeds about it, I would just avoid deliberate cold exposure by cold plunge or by cold shower in the four hours, probably even in the four to eight hours after a weight training workout or

cardio workout that is designed to give you some sort of improvement in weight training workout or cardio workout that is designed to give you some sort of improvement in weight training or cardio. Okay, and one last thing before I pass you back. You know, Bert wanted to make sure dinosaurs were real, right? So I'm told. Okay, not but not the whole thing. Hey Andrew, you are given one sentence,

you get to share with America about alcohol. What would that one sentence be? The data on alcohol indicate that not drinking any alcohol is better for you than drinking a little bit despite what you've read. And that most adults can most healthy adults can safely consume. There we go. One to two drinks per week before the next level of alcohol set. You're cutting out, you're cutting out, you're cutting out. I can't hear you. The negative of the alcohol include, I'll just be really clear, very clear effects on increasing leaky gut, micro-liver, obviously, increase cancer risk, potential dementia risk. But look, I'm not here to dictate what people do and don't do. They should just know the risks.

And everything that we do health-wise is on a backdrop of the foundational things, like getting enough sleep, getting sunlight, limiting stress, getting exercise, good nutrition, good social connection, etc. And genetics. So, you know, am I saying that somebody can't have four drinks a week and be healthy? No, I'm saying that most people would do well to drink far less alcohol or no alcohol. Sure. And to be clear, Burt's only one of those guys, he's like three or four times a week. So it's not like he's that much more than the, there you go.

And so if you're gonna do that great and but do the other things which you are doing and the form of alcohol probably matters, but. Oh no, okay, there with tequila? You know, if I'm gonna drink, I don't know how to drink, but if I'm going to drink, I'm going to drink a white tequila with soda i'm gonna enjoy it boom boom i'll tell you what and i'm gonna tell you i have a fit bit and uh my recovery if i drink to keep a whoop i'm sorry i have a whoop my recovery if i drink tequila is always in the green

and if i drink anything else and like wine red red wine or vodka, I am in the red. Like I am horrible. Do you believe in... It makes sense. It probably matches your particular mode of alcohol metabolism. And maybe we just need to name a drink to a whoop. Yeah, yeah, I like this. How about psychedelics?

Do you believe in psychedelics in marijuana? What are your feelings on that? Well, I believe they exist. Here's the deal. The data from clinical trial. Well, first of all, I want to be really clear that these are still schedule one drugs, meaning they are not the federal government in the United States. Still dictates that these have no medicinal purposes.

That's the law. So I just want to be clear, people, you get caught with these things, buying them, selling them, etc. You can go to jail, that's the law. The clinical trials that are ongoing now, and mostly out of Johns Hopkins, indicate that psilocybin, certain modes of LSD and MDMA,

in the clinical settings, so working with a qualified clinician in the laboratory setting, have been shown to a pretty impressive effects on intractable depression, so people who can't break free of depression, qualified clinician in the laboratory setting. It had been shown to a pretty impressive effects on intractable depression. So people who can't break free of depression, eating disorder, trauma, and of course, MDMA may have potential uses as an

empathogen for increasing connection and awareness. Now, all that on the backdrop of A, they're being illegal. I'm not just saying this because I'm a university professor. I'm also just saying this because I do think that kids and people whose brains are still developing, so 25 years and younger need to be exceedingly cautious because you know, just you don't want to freestyle all this stuff, right? If you're opening up neuroplasticity, you know, rewiring the brain and the dramatic chemical setting, you know, can go on in which way.

And I do know people have benefited tremendously from psychedelics. And I do know a few who have also suffered tremendously in the aftermath. So you just have to be smarter about how you're approaching it. And let's hope that before long, people will be able to do this in a legal, clinical setting. I think that day is soon to arrive. Well, Andrew, I got to tell you this. I want to save this for when you're on me and Tom's podcast. Because like, Tom's in Austin, I gotta tell you this. I want to save this for when you're on me and Tom's podcast.

Because like, Tom's in Austin, I'm here in LA whenever you're available, I really can't stress this enough. Hugh Berman's Lab is one of the best podcasts out there. You give such great information and you're so good at talking. You're so good at sharing that information in a way that morons like myself can bring it in. And granted, I kind of whittledittle it down and share drunk at a party

you gotta do twenty minutes three times a week in a hot in a hot saviour sauna got a hot you gotta pick up what down on your head and then pull it right away don't do it at night like but you're so good at sharing that information that uh... that thank you for having your podcast man i gotta say that and i say that on behalf of myself my trainer

Everyone in LA like my my the other day, but they're talking about shit They're talking about like blue zones or something. Oh, yeah, yeah, like so you're fucking amazing. Yeah big fans, man Really good. Appreciate thanks for the kind words guys I again big fan of you both and I know we're both we're all friends with Joe and Lex is it's one of the great things about podcasting is that Unlike science where if one person publishes something, you sort of, everyone else who's working on that suffers in podcasting, the more that people talk to one another and the same subjects are covered,

it's like a rising tide raises all boats. And so I'm grateful for what you guys do. You make me laugh super hard. You make me think really hard. Sometimes I'd love to talk to you about comedy and we know a thing or two about how it impacts the brain, what's funny, what's not funny. Anyway, I'm not funny.

What I do know, however, you guys are really great at delivering information and making it approachable. And so thank you. I was great to get the cold call and made my day. We'll talk soon, man. We'll talk soon, man. I have your number. I'll give you a text with me and Tom's number if that's cool

Terrific. I look forward to it. Awesome. Thank you very much He's so good at talking. Yeah, yeah, he is like he sounds almost like um he has like the like almost old school Nightly news, next Friedman. You ready anchor. Yeah last Friedman. We got Andrew Hubertman and and Lex Freeman on the podcast by the way we're a pretty good podcast just me we're pretty good guests too but like question you could do. So that's really real. Ah! Ah! Lex, man, this podcast has been an homage to you.

You're on with me and Tom Sagar, we're doing two bears one cave. And I gotta tell you, first and foremost, we're fucking huge fans. Tom is a little upset that he hasn't been asked to be on your podcast, but I did the best I could to interview him today, the way you do interviews.

You have great, thoughtful questions. Like, you're fucking killing it, dude. I like how you said Tom Stugora is the comedian. Like, I'll be confused. Which Tom, as you talk, skateboarder, the, yeah, I'm a huge fan of you guys. We guys are amazing. Hey, Lex, I live in Austin. Lex, do you live in Austin?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Hey, so, so first question, first question. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time.

Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time.

Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. Next time. IQ, you have to do multiple of it. Yeah. And just even a question about how to measure intelligence. I don't know, I think to do it right, you have to do a really thorough examination. I think so. Yeah, well, Tom and I don't have, don't have very, anyway, do you have? Okay, is that good question? Is that good question?

Do you think, who do you think was born first? Julius Caesar or Jesus Christ? Oh, you can't do that. You can't. This makes me feel so much better. I thought Lex, I thought it was dinosaurs than Jesus than everything else. And then I found out that it's, there's some stuff in between dinosaurs than Jesus than everything else and then I found out that it's

There's some stuff in between dinosaurs and Jesus quite a few things The dinosaurs aren't real are you about to say dinosaurs aren't real? Yeah, yeah, what about Bill Gates, man? What about Bill Gates? And he's fucking changing the weather, trying to inject us. Speaking of which, I was running along the river yesterday, not that, and a guy ran up to me, said, big fan, I got to talk to Bob Bill Gates. That's the exact, and we walked together along the river. a gnaw sit and a guy ran up to me said big fan I got talked about Bill Gates that he

exactly when we walked together along the river and talked about Bill Gates for an hour he told me everything that I was showing to folks. I'm cool as to me he is somebody who's trying to use his mind to talk about people in the world. Yeah, but you're talking about that. Give me the phone to Tom. I'll give him the phone to Tom. Yeah, that's because you're an intelligent, reasonable person

that doesn't buy into the nonsense that all these conspiracy theorists get excited about. Hey, man, they're open-minded in a way that's important in society. Because you don't want to trust the powerful. That's what the country is built on. You don't want to trust what? The power centers, powerful people, the people. Oh, okay.

Challenge them yet to question them. So I like it. Yeah. And on that one, I don't know. He's one of the most hated people in America. Yeah, he's become a very polarizing figure. But yeah, I have a lot of thoughts on conspiracy theorists and they're not very positive.

OK. No, I don't know. It's fun though. It's fun. No, it's fun because it entertains them. And they feel like they have some insight. But they're mostly stupid people. Yeah, right.

This is all stupid relatives. Yeah, we're all super relative to you, but I'm saying. Yeah. No, man, we don't know what's going on at all. We don't know much about the world. All the progress that's made, all the progress that technology has made, because we still haven't figured out most of what's going on around us.

That's true. The universe, about how the mind works, so it's good to be up to mind it. That's not, yeah. All right, all right, Lex, Lex. Next question, next question, and I have the answer. I want to see if you answer it right. What's the best podcast you've done?

I'm very, very picky. I have the right answer. I'm curious to see if you have the right answer if you and I have the same answer. Like legitimately, you ask me, yeah, I mean, I'm a huge guy or a fan of broken. I asked. Oh, yeah, Rogan's a good one.

But you talk about you. You talk about me talking to my podcast on your podcast on your podcast. Oh, oh, oh, oh, wow. There's a bunch of funny answers, but I got I got to say you on. I mean, I'm a. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can't

You're Dan Carlin one was pretty fucking awesome Dan Carlin is a people you admire. Yeah, you're you're so good I've married you and Tom and your voices have been in my head I was on that a one-way friendship and I have that same connection With Dan Carlin so to meet that guy in person, right? Meet your like imaginary friend and realize they're real That was amazing. I listened to Dan Carlin last night talk about Martin Luther and Yeah, no, not Kate I listen to Dan Carlin last night talk about Martin Luther and Yeah, no, not king

Hey, hey open invite Ever to do my podcast you know that and I'm dying to do your podcast I want to see if I can make that date work that you hit me up, but same goes for Tom I'd love to see I love have you on too and by the way if you ever want to be a guest bear Please Tom's in Austin. It's you are by far one of the most entertaining interesting Thought thoughtful people on the internet. I love your podcast. I love everything you do and and And just keep it up man. Thank you for calling us Can you yes All right

We got both of them that's pretty awesome pretty awesome Yeah, Randerson's texting me. No Hey, we said okay, we should we should, we should, we should, in closing. Yes. Alright, close, let's go. Let me make sure if there's anything I left off. I have so much stuff for our next podcast. Ooh, whoa, whoa.

Shit, you're right. Alright. Alright, it was a lot of fun. This was fun, this was fun. This was really good. I can't wait to see your new project. I can't wait to ask you a question. Okay. I love you. All right. Let me do it. Bye. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean. Here's what we call, two bears one cave. No scripts to bet a booze amateur, Fatology, dirty jokes, rancher here, no apologies. Here's what we call, two bears one cave.

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