2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 159 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Neal Brennan & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: November 14, 2022

Neal Brennan joins Bert Kreischer in Tom Segura’s place for this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. Neal and Bert discuss how much different comedians make, Neal’s Mark Twain speech, tour busses, SNL, representation in comedy, Chappelle’s Show, Trevor Noah, how they edit their stand-up specials, Neal’s new Netflix special “Blocks,” and much more! https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://bertbertbert.com/tourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com/

You read good fucking books. How come you don't like a book club or something? This is why you're significantly more popular than me, because I'm like, you should have like an alcohol thing. I think that's very popular. And you're like, have you thought about books? Have you thought about incorporating books into your comedy?

You fucking nurse. 100% I'm a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, One Cave and Tom, you are looking great, man. How much weight have you lost? I lost a lot more weight. I broke all of my bones and I lost it. I couldn't move, but I made a full recovery. Oh, poor.

Jesus. Easily, probably the one out of all my friends, Tom is the one that people go. I don't know if he likes me. Well, Sagar has a joke that I don't think is, I was telling somebody I don't like it, where he refuses to watch any of my standup. He just will, he watched my Mark Twain speech for Dave

and was like, do that, okay. Let's start with the Mark Twain thing. Let's start there. This is, so I'm laying in bed. Now, okay. We're inside baseball, right? No, right now we're in the middle of sober October. And I read an article and it said,

said something the effect of Joe Rogan's doing his annual sober October. And three comics are doing it with him. And I went, that's not how that happened. And that's... Oh, they made it seem like it was Joe Rogan's idea. And I was like, and by the way, it doesn't, I'm not gonna like respond or anything, but I read it. It's like, it's in my news feed,

so brought to over to Joe Rogan, I was like, oh cool. So I click it and it just talks about how he likes to do this every year to clean his system out. That's not accurate at all. It's not, that's not even the beginning of the truth of it. Is the truth is, and you can't even, you can't even say this to joke, because he doesn't remember this.

It was called sober October, because it was about getting me sober. Right, and so, but that's fine. None of that bothers me. I enjoy sober October. Sure. What made me outraged, okay? smart taint twain thing and there was some pretty good performances some Colin jost was was really good yes a couple of

them you know go viral you know like what I've you seen John Stewart talk about Dave should be Tiffany hadish talked about Dave Shepel. I'm fucking, Michael Tate, I don't know when I'm guessing names right now. Does it make you frustrated that you, by far murdered harder than anyone in that lineup, yet yours didn't go viral. Because mine went viral for me.

What? Again, Bert. Let's think about scale. It went viral for me. In that, like, it's like a, you know, a couple million, it kind of, like, you're as funny as, and I mean, the great. But also, it helped me on Netflix. It drove traffic to three months.

Three months, yeah, yeah. So, like, traffic to three mics. Three mics, yeah, yeah. Of course. Like that went up significantly. Really? Yeah. So like I'm with you in terms of sober October, I think that you've got a very legitimate and I think you should focus on that a lot.

Yeah, I'm gonna run. But I've written it down. I hope so. But like it helped three mics and it helped. It was just fun to not to barely get invited. And then- Be the funniest song of the thing. Yeah, by far the funniest.

Well, I got off in Keenan Thompson. I was like, how did you do that? And I go, I tried. Everyone else tried. Everyone thought, I'm gonna do the Dave way where you kind of just jazz it up. And it's like, he can only, he can do that. Yeah, does he really do that?

I'm by the way, I look at Dave kind of like a great white shark. Cause like, I don't see him. If you see him, if you see him, you're kind of lucky. He won't be able to stay out of his way. I don't wanna meet the guy. Right. I kind of want to have the run in. I know for a fact, our sensibilities probably don't pair up.

Other than we might probably like to get drunk. Yeah, I'm sure he looks. That's a lot though. Don't underestimate that in either one of you. He likes Tom, so I know he's like a like me. What? Simple, loves and prized. I guarantee you he knows you in like,

I don't think so. I promise you he does. I stay out of the radar and all those dudes like I don't know Chris rock never never met Chris rock one time Don't I mean don't know him don't think you would ever like I kind of stay off I kind of do my own thing I don't really like hang out at the clubs. Yeah, you know, unless you're hanging out the clubs That's how you meet those people. Yeah, you know, the only reason I knew Norm McDonald and like, I never saw Norm. I saw Norm a lot. Where?

At the store. I think I just was never, they would always be main room shows and I just never went over. Yeah, he's always the main room. Yeah, I never met, I'm a Sandler in person. I bombed horrifically in front of him on the Zoom. People are still talking about that.

Zoom stock went down 20%. You bombed so hard. People condemned Zoom. They canceled one of his movies for the time. Yeah. He got a lot of trouble. Yeah, it like bandwidth, they shut the internet down. Oh my God, countries.

Oh, that was bad. That was the most you fucked up. Because you've been in huge fucking meetings. You've been in huge, you've been in meetings. I've never, I didn't know they had. That's actually not true. That's actually true. The worst fuck up, I was interviewing,

I was interviewing for a TV show to direct a TV show, a big TV show. And I said like something like, it's not like that shit they have on like on lifetime. And the guy I was talking to his wife was the president of lifetime. And needless to say, I never directed that show. Just like, what are the fucking odds?

That a woman comedy writer is a woman's president of life. That a woman could run a network first and all. And second of all, that it was just like, oh, yeah, I'm not getting this. I always should think that, okay, how does Comedy Central make a comeback? Because Comedy Central was the brand. It was the role that you call a bigger production company

now than Comedy Central. I actually, I think I probably get more views than they do collectively. I bet that's true. If you, they have South Park and Daily Show and Daily Show as a Friday, who knows, Trevor's quitting, you saw. Have you ever met Trevor Noah?

I know him really well. For real? I do the show sometimes. For real? Yeah, like I knew Trevor before he got the show. I think I, in fact, I told him to leave America. I swear to God. And I was right.

So 10 years ago, he and I were doing, we were in Denver. I was doing the comedy works, he was doing the improv. We met to eat. But Trevor Noah was doing the improv in Denver. I know that club. Yes. That's the shitty one. That's the great club.

No, it's a great club. It's a great city. It's not the one you want to be at. Yes. And we Trevor Noah was doing that club for 15 hundred dollars. We were in 1500. Shut the fuck up. It's where it got. I thought he was a gazillionaire. I didn't know what was doing back club for 15 hundred dollars. I was like in 1500. Shut the fuck up. It's where it got.

I thought he was a gazillionaire. I didn't know anything. I thought he was like a millionaire in Africa and kind of just transitioned into the day. Which would be like a thousandaire in America. But yeah, I know what you're saying. It's not. Yeah.

He was, he was a big African and European comedian. And so he's doing, we're doing the weekend, we're both like a 1500 bucks, they lied to me about one of the wages was like, they're bringing seats in. And then I was like, so do I make a bonus? They get they didn't negotiate for your bonus. I was like, oh, this is the worst.

So I basically told Trevor, I was like, just get out of here, man. Why would you do these clubs for a weekend? And I was like, and also no foreign comedian has ever made it on American TV. And then Oliver did it. And I literally called Trevor and it was like, come back. Come back, come back. And he can't.

You're still warm, they don't know you're gone. And then he did the Daily Show once with or twice with John and then but he did it. He did a piece with John and it like went viral of real. Yeah. And then and then they offered it. I knew it was going to come down to like him and Malanian and then he and a down. He's got the best voice. He I have a theory about him, which is he's the most best voice. I have a theory about him which is he's the most fuckable guy on six continents. Africa, Europe, South America, North America, Australia, and I like that you can say for certain Australia is a lock. for certain Australia's a lock. A lock.

A lock. And then Asia. Asia's a continent. Yeah. But like I'm saying, I'm like, what are you like? What do you like? I would argue he would,

I mean, again, he wouldn't be like for it, in terms of like single guys. Okay. He might be the biggest comedian in the world. Er. Who kept him or kept? No. Who's the biggest comedian rockin should tell

Not in terms of box office Well Trevor can do a really good five-knot Kevin Hart Kevin Trevor can do arenas and for real. Yeah Be but this okay, so when you so big he so Lance Patrick who doesn't Google trends go ahead Lance Patrick does my website and Trevor's website I heard Lance Armstrong. I was about to hear a very different story. It's been a long fall He does a lot of master now. Yeah, he still does a ton of steroids. It's weird Have you ever thought about doing steroids don't lose this conversation? Have you ever thought about doing steroids? Don't lose this conversation. Have you ever thought about doing steroids? Yeah. For real?

Yeah. I mean, like testosterone? Yeah. Yeah. What would you? I'm, yes. Are you doing it now? Yes. Really? Why not?

Fuck yeah. Like, what's the downside? What's the downside? Uh, if you get cancer rate accelerates? Yeah. What do you mean, come on? Who gets cancer? Who, first of all, I don't look like I have cancer or AIDS.

I know that. I've been preparing for having cancer for 20 years. I've got all the clothes. I don't have to change outfit. Oh, no, leave. Trevor, no. Wait, do you worry about death? Because you're healthy as fuck. I don't worry. I want to live forever.

Yeah. We can, this is a longer conversation, but I don't. Okay, hold on. Okay, then let's put a pin in it. Yeah. I'm gonna write down death. Yes. Okay.

And then let's get back to Trevor. Trevor. Okay, this is how big the venue's Trevor does. I do, we have the same web guy, Lance Patrick. Lance, if Lance, Lance fell off the back of one of Trevor's stages in Europe and was in the hospital for three weeks. If you fell off one of my stages, you wouldn't even need ice. That's how big a community injury. It was in debt and an arena in somewhere in Europe and he fell off the back in like total darkness They barely found them go to type in you got it. You're doing it. It's kind of tough because Kevin got in trouble

So go go that's true. Yeah, go shoot Kevin's no, I'm not saying I'm talking about pure Box office. Do you have like the the I'm not saying I'm talking about pure box office. Do you have like the, the, the, uh, pole star stuff? Yeah, I'm just having a long, yeah, I'm pushing it. Yeah, that's where we, no, no, no. I mean, they're not, but they're not,

I mean, neither of them are touring and it's really true. They're both touring. Uh, not right now. Kevin and Trevor did the, get a long and for pole star. I saw Kevin in, at the Minneapolis arena three weeks ago and Trevor just, oh wait, Kevin was, Kevin's doing it back up on tour. Yeah, wow and Trevor did the

Arena twice in Toronto this weekend You can type in a comics name and then find out their This is the crazy part of this business is everything is Googleable I know and so you can go I can tell you exactly how much money Joe Koi made last year So go see those bumps So click on that see if it gives you a number I can't my glad I'm like last you want to or not you're on tour right I want to yeah But it's it's tricky post-doc and get tricky because

Those guys because they're doing arena sometimes they don't work every weekend But it's tricky. Pulse is starting to get tricky because those guys, because they're doing arena, sometimes they don't work every weekend. Right. And so if you work every weekend, and you're doing smaller arena, say you're not doing like 22,000, say you're doing 12,000.

Yeah. It's not. Well, no, but I'm just saying, the Pulse are numbers can kind of slide a little bit where you're like, oh shit, Dr. Dott's bigger than that. And they're like, that's not actually accurate. Can you read any stats, Halston?

Are you be able to? You got a log in. You got a log in. I fuck, I got, I don't know, not gonna get my log in out here. Give it, just walk it over. No, no, no, I gotta get it from levity. Oh, you give it to them?

No, they gave me theirs. Oh, got it. I give it to me. I'm gonna give it to them? No, they gave me theirs. Oh, got it. I give it to me. I'm not gonna have it. I love shit like this. I love it too. I could look at it all day. It's funny, I don't like looking at my bank account

because it gives me anxiety. Why? Because I don't want to know. Somebody else is like that. I feel like if you know you're doing good. Somebody else I know didn't know how much money he had. Dave Spell. No, does he know how much money he has? I have no idea He doesn't seem like a guy that looks at his bank account I

You could convince me either one. Yeah, Rogan seems like a guy who looks at his bank account If I had I think I would hit refresh a few times a day if I had the kind of money those guys have Somebody didn't know how much money had the kind of money those guys have. Somebody didn't know how much money he had in the bank until he got divorced and it's like why wouldn't you, and he's like, what good would thinking I'm rich do me? And I was like, I don't wanna make you feel good,

but I hear you. Not for me, like I, I had a conversation with Tom and Tom's agent. And Tom's agent said And Tom's agent said, Tom's clearing dot dot dot this year. And I went, are you fucking serious? And his agent's like, you should be too. And I said, I'm definitely not.

And he goes, no, if you're not, you need to leave your agent. And I said, I can almost guarantee you, I can almost guarantee you that number. I won't make that money. And he goes, hold on, you're doing the exact same size venue as Tom is. I said, I'm just not, I don't know man, you guys must have a really good deal. And he was like, he hit me up. He was like, for real, if you're really not clear that you need to leave your agent. And then I, and then I got to find out that your wife was stealing from me. Neil, Neil, I'm not even fucking around

because then I started going, I stopped. I, I,'m at one point I said I want to know I I don't even look at my settlements I don't look at a why I'm just I want to make sure that I'm right me up because because for me I feel like settlements is like they just they at the end of when you do a show they go let's settle up it's basically they pay you and when you're comic they'll either give you a check or wire it to your agent Yes, and so I never looked at my settlements and for me It was like I just wanted to make sure that the boss was paid for everyone was paid for I wasn't losing money And I could and and I was put money away and then

I'm being very open and honest right now Leambon a beach house and I was like, that's not happening. And she was like, why? And I go, we can't afford that, baby. Let's, we just built this beautiful house. We still have our old house. We're not buying a fucking beach house

that we're never gonna use. And she was like, we'll use it. Me and the girls will use it. And she was like, George is going to college. Let's get it for the summer. George will be out there with their friends. It'll be great. And I said, why don't we just rent a beach house? She was like, it is going to college. Let's get it for the summer. George will be out there with her friends. It'll be great. And I said, why don't we just rent a beach house?

She was like, it's just a waste of money. If you buy one and I literally called my business manager, I go, she's out of a fucking mind. He goes, you can definitely afford a beach house. And I was like, huh? He was like, you can afford a beach house, a tour bus, and another house. And I went, what?

And he was like, dude, you can afford that. And I was like, I don't even want to know about this. Did you ask him, like, could I cheat on my wife? Could I get away with cheating on my wife? Could I cut it up? Do I have enough money? I don't think I could. I don't think I could.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You really saw some shit just now. But for me, it's easier. Like Tom knows exactly how much money makes. He talked to me about it one time. And was the other day, we were talking, he talks about money. I'm uncomfortable about money. I don't know if it's my, I don't know what it is.

I don't like looking at pills. I don't like this. I'll say this for you. You don't seem rich. I don't. That's what like there are people that seem, I seem richer than you, even though we grew up in similar places. Some of the backgrounds here. Like I just dressed whatever.

You dress like you're not. I dress like a 12 year old. Right. Thank you. I don't wanna say it. And so you, certain guys, I think Joe falls into this category. I think Tom falls into this category. I think Tom falls into this category. Tom with the cars, I think could make people resent him.

You worry, Gucci. But you're not very resentful. Tom's closer getting a little cute, a little cute. Pull up two bears one cave. He just did an episode with fucking Duncan Trussle and he's wearing a Gucci shirt. He's like, you only get a few wears out of that and then you gotta get rid of it.

Gucci doesn't last forever. No, of course. Yeah. So you get like five wears out of it. Look at him with this shirt. It's fucking happy. Look, Duncan doesn't see. Look, look at this. Oh, fuck him. It's like a $1,200 shirt. I'm gonna fight him. He's wearing a $1,200 shirt. It's also a bowling shirt. So good for you. It's a $1,200 Gucci bowling shirt. Fuck. But like his, he, Tom, I think for Tom, it's a little bit of a bit now because he's, because he's like, he gives away jackets. He spends $10,000 on jackets. He gives him away to Sebastian, right?

Sebastian seems rich. Yes. Okay. List of comics who seem rich, okay? Seem, Sebastian doesn't seem that rich. I would argue because the accent and like at a certain point, they all look, they all look poor when they're back. They all look poor when they're back.

They all look poor when they're back. They all look poor when they're back. They all look poor when they're back. They all look poor when they're back. They all look poor when they're back. They all look poor when they're back. They all look poor when they're back. They all look poor when they're back.

They all look poor when they're back. They all look poor when they're back. They all look poor when they're back. They all look poor when they're back. They all look poor when they're back. They all look poor when they're back. microchips. You think that's generational though, that all the generations of Italians have acted that way and been poor. And so when one really gets rich, they're like, you're still much like an Italian. But there is a way to dress like, if Italians, if Sebastian started wearing like sunglasses on stage, like the it's mafia, like, gradient sunglasses, then that he would seem rich. But Sebastian is rich. Sebastian's very rich. She's one of the richest comics there is.

Yes. He's very rich. I remember watching his wife super rich, right? Is that the... Yeah, so yeah, I think she comes, I think her dad did well or something. But she, I don't think they get that money. Who?

Sebastian and his wife. They don't get the parents money? Yeah, I don't think that's how that works. So, yeah, yeah, I guess that's how that works. I guess so. I guess so. No, yeah, Sebastian is, and again, Sebastian's, he put it all into shirts and Sebastian wears a lot of cute sneakers. I'll say that.

Sebastian, Sebastian is, I remember when I was doing clubs, there was like, top 10 earning comics. And Sebastian made $12 million. And I was a couple of years ago. I was a few years ago. And I was like, I was way before the pandemic.

Yeah. And I was like, what the fuck? I remember going, if you make $12 million, you're rich. Yeah. That's like fucking rich. And now you would kill yourself. You only made $12 million in a year. I go what?

You would drown yourself. I go one of your pools. What am I doing with the other? Whole house. Should I, which pool at which house should I drown myself in? Or should I go to the beach house and drown myself in the lake? No matter how much money Donald Rollins makes, he will never look rich.

Because he's got a poor hairline. There's certain things that it's just got a poor hairline. There's nothing easy, there's two labor plugs. Larry the cable guy. He's never going to look great. He's never going to look rich. Yeah, Ron looks kind of rich. Ron has, Ron looked rich when he was poor.

Yes, because he wore suits. Yes, Foxworthy Dunluck Rich, Engvault doesn't look rich. Larry cable guy doesn't look rich. Ron looks, yeah. Ron's always looked rich. Dave doesn't look that rich. No, I take, no, can I tell you? So there's three phases of Dave, okay?

There's young Dave, which is that's the one I first encountered in New York. Yeah, 90s Dave, which is skinny, fun, high on a single stage, cigarette on stage. Clothes were were like almost as an afterthought, like meaning like it didn't seem like you put much thought into what he was wearing. Then there's then there's then there's a there's chappelle show Dave, right? And then there's the day we know now, which is Yoke's deep voice, right?

A little larger body, body, body, body matches, the head shirts to his knees. Yeah. Yeah. And now he looks like Kanye Dave, like he looks like, like he's like got a shirt on that you go, where do you buy? Yeah, no, that's the thing. Right. Yeah. It's, it's, I always forget the guy's name too. Kanye? No, Kanye I can remember. Yeah. Where they get their shirts from? Who do they get their shirts from? Uh, I can't, Rick Owens, it's the guy's name. I'm buying Rick Owens shirts.

I just want him to rip off on my Netflix special. Yeah, you'll see. See the boots, these are the boots. So you're getting into it. Oh, shit. You'll see see the boots these are the boots so you're getting into it Oh, she's you if you Any one of these shows like see the long jackety. Yeah, it's like short pants Dave most deaf is Yassine Bay

See that's the dates were in that on his next special Closer to he's wearing that I'm not sure if it's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right.

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It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. What's he like? You don't know him at all? Never met him. I told you, man, I'm off the radar. And I think that's also why people don't think I'm rich because I go, I don't hang out with any of these people.

I've never met a Z's. Sometimes a comical say the thing that resonates with you forever and you can't change it. So like, and mostly it's, for me, it's usually a comic of color that says something that I just, it was a glaring, glaring blind spot in my life. And first one I ever heard was Kumail. When Kumail got jacked, he was like,

he was something about representation about, yeah, if you see the, the in the Pakistani or Indian guy in a movie, he's always got to be the computer guy. Why can't he look like a hero, why can't he look like a hero also Why can't he look like a hero also? And I just was like, oh fuck yeah. Why should, why does Chris Evans be the only one

that gets me jacked? Because it goes against God. But that's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It gets against nature, but they never won any wars. I won, yeah. Aziz was on David Chang's cooking show. Do you watch a lot of Netflix?

I watch a lot of Netflix. I watch no cooking shows, because I don't present how many excluded. I watch a trailer of your show, and I go, haven't been invited. Maybe it's a vegan thing. Maybe it's a vegan thing. I would cook vegan for you in a heartbeat.

I'm a great vegan cook. Great. So I was vegan for a little while, and I was cooking vegan for my whole family. Really? Yeah, and I would make vegan for my whole family. Really? Yeah, and I would make two meals. I make a vegan meal and a regular meal for them, and I'd see if they could tell them,

I did a killer meatloaf. I used a lot, almost I leaned a little too heavily into yeast, because yeast really brings out a lot of yeast will trick you into thinking your yeast. You know what's actually like quietly delicious is nutritional yeast. Yeah. Like as a put it on popcorn and shit.

Very good. Like delicious. Yeah, delicious. I would definitely make a vegan meal for you. I would love that. Okay, all right. Jen. Put it down.

Yeah, very excited. Next round we'll do it. You can pick your, whoever you want to do it with. No, we're in the middle of a podcast. Hey, Neil, something trying next round. If he calls you, we're in the middle of a podcast. Sorry, sorry. It's like a fucking.

I don't know how to do it. You bit and you're fired. Hold on. Z's I, Z's I've known a long time. Z's I've known since before. I'm the first time I met a Z was an O five with Crow. I know Crow. Yeah, like 17 years ago at a, he seems rich.

Well, his Crow is from his dad. Very julie the weast dryfish is dad. I mean, it's actually might be his dad owns the top international private security firm on earth, corporate security, Carl and associates. Jules, Carl. Jules, Carl, what are you? Jules, he got the name Jules in the fucking 50s.

Yeah. Holy shit. He's a billionaire. He's a fucking billionaire. He's a billionaire. He sold us a 1.9. If I hadn't known that, I would have had so many different questions from him. By the way, that's, and then he started two different companies. And the thing I'll say, people will go like, he's rich.

Kroll's fucking hilarious. Very funny. Like, he's very funny. So, this thing, he's a rich kid. And, I'm gonna give a shit. Do you think, do you think, in all honesty, hold on. God damn it. What were we talking about right before this? Before somebody's coming.

A Z. A Z. A Z's on David Chang. And who seems rich? Okay, David Chang. A Z's family seemed rich, but I think Z's came from my little friend. Z's isn't, no. No, I think it's, I mean, I'm sure it's like dad, it like worked, but like, he's not, I think it's, I want to say that was a doctor because it looks like

They may be a salsa Orlando And I just know I know I know from Atlanta, but no this Paris, little Orlando now. Okay. I think you grew up in South Carolina Yeah, and I don't know the guy that crazy Tell I mean tell your tell your memory god damn it. What was I just fucking thinking? No, that's really hard to crawl what was I just fucking thinking? Now that's really hard to do. Crow. That's hard to do.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. It's something about alcohol. Nope. Do you think, do you think, let's use Nick Crow as an example? And I hope Nick sees us. Do you think that there is an inherent work ethic that comes with your father being a billionaire, where you

see a man who obviously is massively successful. Or do you think that instigates, that it almost instills a tad bit of laziness, because whereas Dave, maybe not actually, you do. It can, I know what you're asking. Do you, if you're poor, a better motivator than rich. That's a little messy. Uh, I, I don't think it doesn't matter, but I think work ethic is,

that kinda doesn't matter. Like you either have it, you have talent, there's like talent, there's just like, can I think of jokes, right? Do I say funny shit most of the time? No, but that, okay, but I'll put a pin in that because there's a lot of very talented comedians that once they get a little success, stop working.

Stop writing, yeah. Stop writing and then all of a sudden, you're like, what happened to them? And they fell off. And so that motivation that they got, that motivation they had when they were young and they were broke and they wanted to pop, they had it, it was there, I can name a ton of fucking names

and then all of a sudden they get some success and you're like, God, that's special sucked. Right, well that comes down to like, do you care about your reputation? Do you have that like comedy club ethos of like, I don't want them slagging me at the club. And some people go, I don't care. But I think if you either you're a comedian,

I was telling somebody today, I've been hanging out in comedy clubs for 35 years. You were hanging out in comedy clubs before you were doing comedy. Wait, I was hanging out in comedy clubs when I was in high school because my brother's comedian. But you're other, I wanna say you had another brother. I know I was hanging on comedy clubs when I was in high school because my brother's comedian. So like,

But your other, I wanna say you had another brother. I know the brother that worked at the strip. I met that too. I met him at the Boston Comedy Club drinking beers with Peacory Ellie. They're not possible. Yeah, yeah. So I've been around.

So like I wanna, I would wanna be a good comedian for like that reason. More than rich. You want like that sort of like street fight thing. That maybe that's why I don't look at my bank account because I know for a fact, but I don't think I think they're totally separate. Possibly they can be because Tom knows exactly

to the Tiamas money has and he's an amazing comedian, but I look at it and I go, you're only as good as your next special. I totally agree. And so I go, fuck the money. Yeah. Maybe the money can help me. I'll tell you what the one thing the money

that I, has helped with. It probably helps buying houses. It does find private jets. Yeah, probably. Like, I'm getting from like going for, like if I want to do a one-nighter, which I'm doing a couple, I can private in not worry about money do a one-nighter in a club if I'm off on a Tuesday or Wednesday And the cool thing is it looks like you walked yeah people don't know I love by the way

I love being able to my only thing I give a fuck about with money is private jets That's somebody's a few people have said that to me, is that the only big difference, you can only eat in your case five meals a day. You can only eat five meals a day. Can I tell you about fat jokes? I'm being desuars. If it was something that really hurt me, you would shut down my eyes.

Like if you were shut down. Like yeah, I was thinking of that today, there was something I was doing that I know that I'd do very bad and I go go I'm so glad no one knows about this Because I have to tell us I can't no fucking way. Are you doing the Whitney roast on me? No, you should When I definitely should I'll say I'll have Whitney to I'll have Whitney text you The yeah, so prime prime prime, a few people have said, it's the only big difference.

You can only live in one house. I mean, you are the exception bus. Do you have your podcasting house, your normal house, your beach house, your, yeah. I don't live in any of them. I live in a fucking tour bus. Yeah, that's the, I mean, I live in a tour bus. Yeah. You like the living on tour bus, huh? I love it, I live in a fucking tour bus. Yeah. I mean, I live in a tour bus. Yeah.

You like living on tour bus? I love it. I just bought one. How much are that? A million, 1.5. Are they really? Yeah. It's at mostly customizing.

It's entirely customizing. You can buy a used one for a lot cheaper, but I was the problem with the other ones is you're living in someone else's design. Right. And if you don't know anything about tour buses, then very easily you can slide into a tour bus and you won't notice it. Right. I've lived in tour buses for the past five years.

I've lived in tour buses. And so I know what I want. I think I know what I want. And by the way, I could design tour buses for other people. And I'm not. And the good thing about this is I can build it, and I can rent it to people. And people are going to go, fuck, I want that tour bus.

This guy's lived in tour buses. Because number one, it's a star coach, which means it's got a bedroom in the back, not two side outs, two side outs. And if it's a lot of the functions of the bus, slide out means it's a good thing. All you need is one slide out. You don't need to slide out for your bedroom. In front middle. Yep, front middle.

Slide out out there. Captains chairs, bigger couches, lower seats, lower couches so that your feet aren't too high because you can get something that are too high. Large fridge, slide out underneath panel, fridge panels. By the way, this is how much I live on Torbuses. If you Google celebrity Torb, my tour bus comes up. That's my tour bus.

That's my tour bus right now. I won't offer right? But right now, when you Google, because I'm the only one that really... Did you design it? No, I just rented this one. I've rented it for so long that I would have paid it off already.

I've rented it. Because I rent it for the whole year. Yeah, yeah. Because here's another thing about tour buses that you can't just rent it for a week. And you can if you're like post Malone, they'll find you one. But if you're like a comic, you can't get one for a week. It's so hard because there is such a small amount of Torbus's Taylor Swift's dad figured this out and he bought a fleet of them with their first big Jack. And now he is the biggest tour bus renter in the world. He's like, and he makes a killing on the side

with Taylor bus, Taylor Swift's tour buses. So I heard this and I was like, I went to my business manager, the first purchase I wanted was a tour bus. I said, I will make the money back. I can rent it to my friends, like when my friends go, hey man, I'm doing a quick run. Right.

And it's perfectly the bathroom is in the way back. So if you put the bed in the way back, you're sitting over the rear axle and you drive. The best place to sleep is in front of those rear axles. So I moved the bed. The best sleep I've ever gotten. Yeah. Dave had a bus, you know, three or four.

Slep from the, like overnight is decent sleep. You're a little bit worried about Metallica. Um, when you sober, you definitely are. And you definitely are when you sober. And, uh, the Metallica black ice incident where they, they guide it. Yeah. Um, and, but when you get to the hotel and our part something about sleeping on a park bus in a like in a little stack and a little cocoon. Mm-hmm. It's some, I can't explain it.

I've got counters in there that we keep towels and workout stuff in. And I hard sold, hard pitched my wife on under the counter building a tour bus bunk because I sleep so well in a tour bus bunk. What is it? Is it the cocoonness of it or something? I think it's the first of all it's ice cold, it's pitch black.

So it's like a cave. Right. They have temperedic mattresses. So they feel good. And you just are so crammed with all your shit, all your blankets all over you It's my favorite sleep ever. I I Love it more than my own bed my own bed. There's so much noise you go in there

All you hear is the hum of the bus the air conditioning and my favorite part is you wake up in the morning And you pull your curtain back and you're like, hey, is anyone up? And you see a curtain up was up beautiful and then it's And then it's like camp, everyone's bustin' balls. Hey, what do you guys wanna eat? And then someone's on their phone. And they're like, all right, here's what's around. And everyone's still in their beds. It's my favorite thing in the world.

Yeah, so yeah, so I'm designing my own tour bus. I'm making sure that there's space enough for a crew, probably, I think we're gonna try to do a crew of ultimately six, but it's gonna be fucking awesome and then it'll be in Southern California. So like any of the comics out here, do you take the, do you, do you, do you, do you, so you take one of the bucks? You don't take one of the bucks. I'm gonna change that and I'll tell you why. Same reason about looking at your bank account thing. I believed that if you were gonna be on a bus

with everyone, you should be an equal. You shouldn't force everyone to live in a bus if you were gonna get a big nice room in the back. What that does is it changes power dynamics in a way that no one looks at you as the guy paying for the bus. They look at you as the guy also on the bus. Right. So sometimes, sometimes there can be stepping on some toes where you're like, hey guys remember I'm paying for all this shit

Yeah, and so I'm changing that back to us and by the way, you can't rent You can only rent the bus I currently have you can only rent to like cruise because it's all bunks and it's a I got it Because it was all bunks and an edit bay in the back and so or a place you could put an edit bay, right? But if you if I wanted, if Dave was gonna go, oh, I'm doing a run-up San Francisco, can you guys find me a bus? Someone's like, Bert's got a great bus. Yeah. He'd want the star coach.

And he'd want the bunks in there. Right. He'd want, he'd want. Well, that's funny that you found that because you were trying to be a man of the people, they treated you like a man of the people, and you had to be like, motherfucker. Yeah. I'm, it's's me whose name is on the Yeah, I heard a lot. I heard a lot of I heard yeah, I heard I won't I'm not gonna like I don't want to sit to it

There's just certain things that happened where I like people would say things to mind This is I hope the people that toward me don't hear this and get upset but they would say things they will now But go ahead. They would say things to me that were that I would bother me because they were trying. They didn't know I was paying for it because I was with them at times. They wouldn't feel like I was the one paying. So if you say, I'd be like to say you get down sat down for dinner, right? And we'd all be sitting in the bunk.

They're like, dude, fuck this. Or the most expensive thing on the menu. And I'd be like to say you get down sat down for dinner, right? And we'd all be sitting in the bunk. They're like, dude, fuck this. Or the most expensive thing on the menu. And I'd be like, what I'm paying for that also. Like so like, so that's like yeah. Because there's a part of me that's like it's you it might be worth Getting stepped on every once in a while. It was I'll tell you what those everyone I'm toward with and I say this Everyone I toward with are like my closest I say this, everyone I toured with are like my closest friends. Because we lived on a bus, we had a blast,

but at times there would be certain things where they're like, God damn it, why don't they find us fucking first class? And I'm there, they forget that it's, right, sometimes it's like a wee, but yeah, there's an advantage in a disadvantage. Because there is a party that's like, I mean, you could have just fallen like,

no motherfucker, don't get the most like, cause I don't wanna pay for seven first class tickets. But like, there was a little bit of that. And like, I feel bad saying that, cause I know those guys are all gonna be hyper-work. Was that me? And it was just, it was like a couple times and that it happened when you were like, I think I need to be

in the back of the, I think there is a, there should be a hierarchy. I definitely do the most time. I definitely, and the one promoting all the shows, yeah, definitely putting the most work in. I'm definitely flying like, and I was flying everyone private places and, and I, but I believe that you should be like, Rogan was like that. Rogan was like, man of the people, everyone flew first class,

everyone got paid fucking sick, he never made anyone pay for a meal. But because Rogan's such an alpha, everyone was like, that's like no rules. With me sometimes people are like, oh, that's right, Bert's on this tour. Well, it sounds like, who do you think was the, who was relapsing or whatever the,

whatever the name of the tour was? You know, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was mine. Are you relapsing? Cause I, I thought it was me. But, but that's why you have a thing in the back. Here, okay, so let's go back to Rich hierarchy. That's it. Well, that's for funny.

I'm with you, cause I, there are times where you want to go, like, you want to go like you want to pull rank. Yeah. But yeah, but it's you have to avoid it. I just read a book about status. Literally just about stat. It's called status and culture. You read the best books. This book is fucking good. What's the name of it? It's called status and culture by W. David Marx. And then there's another status book called by Will Stor, I'm already at, but W. You talked about a book on Rogan that I bought. Amazing ourselves to death.

Did that guy fucking call it? Do you have you read it yet? I bought the audiobook. Yeah. You know, I listen to so many audiobooks in the bus that I don't remember what. But you read good fucking books. I can even buy a book club or something.

That's, this is why you're significantly more popular than me, because I'm like, you should have like an alcohol thing. I think that's very popular. And you're like, have you thought about books? Have you thought about incorporating books into your comedy? You fucking nerds. Why don't you sell other people's books?

I have authors who don't need for it. Tell me about status and culture. It's just about how everything we do is for status. Every time I'm wearing that shirt to let you know, like you know I can afford a $12 shirt. Just, I'm just letting you know. Like, and it's more enjoyable when a black person does it. Because.

I'm so excited to talk about this. Because it's like, well they, like, yeah, they have, first of all, they like have to signal for survival. Status in culture, meaning status in culture, meaning different cultures and status and how that affects different cultures. Well, how it affects what people's, what people make, what people make in terms of like output,

like creative output, right? So it's high status, like, high status, like, like for instance like I'm Snappier Comedy wise, yeah, then you are you're so much more popular than me But I'm like well, but I'm Snappier so like there's like the New Yorker might write about me. Yeah, we're working. It's not writing about me That's right. They might not write about me either, but like but

Which is the reason I like being friends with people that I'm friends, it's like, I'm friends with you because you're fucking funny and cool and nice. And same with Joe and same with all these people that like this sort of more right wing guy who aren't even right winged, but they seem right wing. Whereas I seem like I'm an antifa.

And so like I'm an antifa. And so, like I'm left or the left. So, it's about how, just snobbyness, snobbyness and knowing the right place to like the right shirt and the right. Like how it's so much to unpack on this because me and you, me and you like the same thing, right, we both like to laugh, but there is a certain thing that you laugh at that sometimes I don't get,

right, where I go and I don't, why don't I get it and why do you get it? Like, like I laughed at Seth Meyers' commencement speech. For Christchurch. Of course. One of my favorite jokes is like, it's like I said, you remember the thing with Aziz, the one thing he said to bring that full circle was they were talking about growing up in an ethnic house and how the smells of that ethnic ethnic house were home to them, but then they bring them to school and kids will make fun of them

and how frustrating it is for them to now watch white people, make those smells and go, yeah, do you like it? It's called Tiki Masala. Yeah. And then they're like, yeah, I got my ass kicked on a playground for Tiki Masala. Yeah. Like that was a thing to me that was just blew my mind.

Seth Meyers, one of my favorite jokes ever, like meaning, just you hear it and you go, I always remember. They say Donald Trump's running as a Republican. It's funny. I thought he was running as a joke. Yes. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. It's great. Yeah. I think either he wrote it or this guy Alex Bayes wrote it, who writes for Seth. Bayes has written, he wrote, he wrote my favorite joke from that, that, of course, one of the dinner, which is Donald Trump claims that he is friends with the blacks. And by the blacks, I assume he means a white family. Um, uh, Bayes also wrote for Tina and Amy at the, at the, uh, Golden Gloves, uh, like a young models, warm vagina, please welcome Leonardo DiCaprio.

Oh, he's got, he wrote this. Who's this guy? Followed. One of them on the base. He's a B A Z E. One, maybe the greatest joke writer alive. He also wrote a joke for Seth and update, um, Joe Greider alive. He also wrote a joke for Seth, an update that the Blackide P's are doing a free concert in Central Park. And he goes, Blackide P's free concert, that sounds too true to be good.

Alex Bays. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. He doesn't look funny. He's like incredible. He looks like he looks like he looks like a Dauer County writer. Yeah. But man, that's like, do you like SNL? One of the fastest fastballs in the world. He's fucking great. Do you like SNL? I like SNL as an institution.

Okay. Do you know what I mean? I like it as like I like it as as an institution. Okay. I like it as like, I like it as a TV show. I find, now, I mean, it's like a sketch show. So it's take it really. It's like hit and miss. Okay, okay. Perfect example. And no shade.

Just being like, this was the greatest sketch that SNL has ever done. Was the iceberg with bow and yang. That was the best sketch. It was like, toded as like, this is epic. Oh, well, you can't. So like, but no, that's what we're talking about. No, I'm like, I'm like, well, we're talking about the difference in sense to do with like,

that has way more to do with representation. Yeah. I have more to do with like, that has way more to do with representation. Yeah, and it has also way more to do with like press. The press now, most press, most critics, their first priority is to not seem racist. That's their first priority. They don't want to get canceled so they go, I almost exclusively have to cover people of color right and yeah, yeah, like they don't cover Burr they don't cover So it was a good right they don't cover Sebastian. They don't cover like he they'd rather cover Somebody who's got they don't cover Sebastian unless he's getting canceled for the fucking MTV thing right so like they don't cover Sebastian, unless he's getting canceled for the fucking MTV thing.

Right, so like they won't cover, it's not about what we would consider quality, it's about like quality, it's like, it's Sebastian seems low, like he's shity or, or it's like he's two of the people. And it has to be more exclusive for press to like it. Because is it not the difference when we talk about stat like the difference in our senses of humor is like there are certain things that just don't like I like Bowen Yang. I'm saying his name right. It's Boeing. But yeah, but I don't I don't

I'm not writing for every single person. I'm sorry. I'm just saying as a show I like it. Yeah, I like it too. It just seems like you're right. What I don't enjoy in comedy is the thing that they're like, you've got to see this and then you see it and you're like, and then you go, am I missing something? Am I missing something on this? Yeah.

You know, and I don't, and I'm probably the most, there's things that people go, you wouldn't like that. Like I think the past five years, the women have been, which I don't think anyone would look at me and go, oh, you like women comedy. Like the women have been the fucking funniest thing about that show. I mean, Kate McKinnon is.

Kate McKinnon is one of the fun things for me. Kate McKinnon is one of the fun things for me. Dave hosted, and I wrote that week. Kate McKinnon did like the best performance I've ever seen of anything on a sketch that got cut. Like I'll never forget how good she was at read through. Like an amazing performer. Like she's incredible.

Like better than you even think she is. Yeah, like better than you even think she is. Yeah. Like crazy guy. 80 Bryant has an ability to translate vulnerability and comedy and her face that I've never seen. I haven't seen it since like, I'm not gonna do examples to do that. But she has an ability to translate empathy.

And like, I mean, she's just fucking so talented. Yes. And so it's like, I'm not being a meathead about this. And by the way, you, it's like I, I'm with, we feel the same way, but I don't, when you say like that seems my, that's more like the critical sense of humor, the critic sense of humor where,

like I love Bobernam special. I loved it. But it was, I liked, I liked because it was good idea and it was fucking funny And I'd like in good jokes. I love I love And stylish and all stuff anyway, I liked Nanette So do I and people like and and I was like Once again, and Nanette one of my favorite jokes

When I was a kid growing up I knew more facts about unicorns and I did lesbians and everyone laughs because Unicorns aren't real No facts about those like such a great fucking joke. Yeah, I mean, they're parts of it where I go, okay. Well, yeah, again, it's not the comedy part. It's just, it, because, so then if you're a critic, your first priority is like, well, I don't wanna seem like I'm four, so I have to, I have to get behind this.

If I don't get behind this, or if I don't get behind this, gay comic, I'm a homophobic, or if I don't get behind this, transfer, I'm transfer, like all these things that as guys from clubs, it's like, can they kill? Then that's kind of the only thing I care about. That's been my litmus, my entire career is, and I have no, there are people that I did not think

that was gonna make me laugh, that made me cry. Yeah. And you're like, I did not seize that coming. I consistently think of this one dude, and I won't say anything too much, but I think he's autistic. And I met him at the bar at the improv, and I was like, I immediately did not like him

as a human being, and I was like, wow, this guy is, you know, I didn't realize he was not physical at the time. And then I watched him on stage and I was like, oh my God, he might be one of the most brilliant human beings I've ever seen do comedy. Right. So much so, Neil, when I went up, I had to go up after him and I couldn't stop talking about him on stage I I couldn't shake Him out of the room. Yeah, he was so fucking good and so like it has nothing to do with anything Preset there are people I didn't like that. You can't stop him. I'll be laugh at But then there are some people that people would think we love that we don't really like that

I roll my fucking eyes at and I'm like like, yeah, just doesn't do it for me. But at first, special, I was like, cool. And then they do it again and I went, okay. And then they keep doing the same thing. And you're like, I'm done. Yeah. And so let's go back to status and culture because one of the things I do find interesting

is that since we're talking about wealth, there is a, I remember getting a text from someone that was like, yo man, you can't put private jets on Instagram. It's obnoxious. And I was like, okay, by the way, I was only doing it back and forth with Joe Koi. And then I was like, I don't find it obnoxious when Joe does it.

And they were like, yeah, he's Filipino. You're not. Yeah. and I went, oh. And then I was like, there is this culturally, where you said something, I don't know if this what you're talking about, culturally, there is this, if you see a person of color raise up, everyone celebrates their wealth. And whereas when you're white, you make money,

everyone's like, because if you grew up Filipino or black or Latino or whatever, like any non-white thing, it's everyone's proud of you for overcoming that. Yeah. And if you grow up white, it's just more, it just feels like like I would say because you look working class, you have a working class body and you have working class teeth.

You have working class teeth and work. You will have a really fucking buddy. You're working in the last body. Yeah. Like, I would argue that you're more root, I root for almost root for you. You're seeing blue collar. So it's like, I don't, I wouldn't mind. All those blue collar comedy tour shows were private. They were private jet shows.

Ron Wright owned his own jet. Yeah, he had a pirate's flag painted on the bottom so people could see it from underneath when he flew there. Yeah. So, like, it's just a matter of, if it seems like you overcame something, then people are proud of you. If it seems, if Carl flew in a private jet, it would be like that he doesn't. I mean, I'm sure he has. I bet when he goes to a gig, he just goes to an hour.

Well, I don't think he does the size, and you said you do. So it's like, he doesn't, so it's like with lose money. But you're right. If certain people, it looks more fun. People always resented me because they were like, when I started doing sand, it was after spousal, so they were like, you're flicking right. And it's like, first of all, I got it from comedy. And that's a, and shit, I only got it because you bought the DVD

I didn't get it like I mean did you make a lot of money on? Not as much you would think like give me a ballpark. No. Give me a ballpark. Riggly field Okay, because I remember shepelle got the $25 million deal that was like it was technically 50 It was a bit of advertising 50 and I remember I remember, Chappelle got the $25 million deal. That was like, it was technically 50. It was at 50. It was advertised at 50. And I remember hearing people go in, I remember hearing comics in the club,

going fuck that, where's my 50? Right, and I was like, and I remember going, it's a little different. Like there's, there's, It was because we made money that they couldn't hide. Yeah. It's it, we made money that they couldn't hide. Yeah. That's it. We made the DVD sold so many copies that they, if you go, wait, that times $15 a pop is,

I mean, now, I don't know how many that have found seven million or something. So you just end up going like, wait a minute, that's what, so they could, and our contracts were up. So it wasn't like, it was perfect timing. So it wasn't, but the first season, the second, like, it was, we made, like, cable money. Yeah, what was your first, what was, tell me how much you made your first season? I made a hundred grand.

Your first season. Yeah, it's pretty good money. Yeah. But like it was I was making $7,000 an episode on travel channel. 7,000 an episode? Yeah. How much did you do? We do roughly 26 years. That's good money. I was so my deal my deal my first deal at travel channel was $400,000 for two years. And I was, but so it was weird because it was 7th, it broke down to $7,000 an episode so they had to work that off of that deal. So in a weird way, it's like, imagine if I said, hey man, here's a hundred bucks, but just so you know,

you have to earn, you have to watch windows. Yeah, every time I need you to watch the windows and then you're only making five bucks a window. So just and then I said just you know if you watch 20 windows every window you get after that I'll give you a 10 bucks. Yeah, and so then all of a sudden you're like well fucking put me on the road. Right. So you'd go on the road and you'd work off your money quickly but then you had to then you'd part of you they'd be like I get a call in there but like hey man can you go to Hawaii next week? I'd be like, I get a call on them, like, hey, man, can you go to Hawaii next week? And I'd be like, fuck yeah. Cause I knew that was like $14,000. Yeah. So then you'd, by the way, I'm sure people

travel the channel, they're all gone now, but they'd be the living if they heard me talking like this. But that was my deal. And then the next deal was a three year deal. Why would they be living? Cause it's more than other people way more got it. Like, I mean, I remember, I remember a person got hired. By the way, this is down the line with Discovery because they would find talent and they basically would be like, hey, man, we'll give you $1,500 an episode. And that's a lot of money, you know, for $2,000 an episode, $3,000 an episode. That's a lot of money. When you think about it, I had a previous history and television, so I kind of Predicated getting paid a little more, but um, and then you got guys a kind of rich man for man versus food

Who you know his deal ran out and then he got a fucking yeah like fucking he got love. Well that was we coming central was Dave not lucky. He's very talented. I didn't mean that ladies. Yeah, but yeah, they were smart, or Dave was smart in that, because he was like, they would run half-baked all the time, and Dave was always pretty hot. He could say, I'll do the show, but only for two seasons. Because normally it's like, you're picked up for six. Yeah. So he said, I'll do it for two, and then our last show

was the highest rated one. Was that, when was Charlie Murphy? That was the fourth episode of the second season. And that was, that was, that was too date. One of the funniest things, one of the best things I've ever seen on television. Ellen coming out of the closet in the airport is number one. The funniest I've ever seen on television

Great, I've been blocking on that with the mic fucking killer like killer. I've stolen that so many times doing radio How You're doing radio and you go all right. I'll tell you how much I'm making this weekend, but don't tell anyone and lean over to the other guy Say it and the microphone. Oh, that's really'm done. I've stolen that $1 million. I'll give you my phone number. But I'm going to say last four days to her. Sign felled's the the bet. The about your funny. I've watched maybe four or five episodes of sign felled in my life.

Sign felled. I see quotes or I'll see a meme on on Instagram. Be like, boy, that's a fucking funny show, right? Like literally, like, everything Kastanda says seems funny. Everything Kramer did, everything Kramer did, everything when he drank the beer with the cigarette in his mouth, it's one, pull up, pull up, this is the funniest thing. This is one of the most talented, brilliant things

I've ever seen on television. Does he say the N word or not? Go ahead. He does it at the beginning and the end. Have you ever seen him kill the beer at the fucking, with a cigarette in his mouth? Just watch this. And you're like, he's, by the way, watch, he's puffing the cigarette as he's drinking. He's puffing the cigarette. I mean, this has got to be a trick you learn somewhere.

Yeah. And then... And it was probably in plot also. Yeah. Like, they figured out a way to do it. It was such a good, I wish Jerry Simon for was more approachable. I know it can't be.

I'm lucky in that I, he'd seen three mics and I we did a commercial and then I ended up doing Comminges and cars so he is approachable In that he's not approachable. No, I It's I can I can talk to him like I whatever I don't really is approachable. Yeah for sure Rogan's approachable. You can you see Rogan at a club in your comic. He might say hi to you first. Yeah. And you'd be like, what's up, Joe? Yeah. And I love that. That he taught you. I mean, I know what you think about that. Jerry is not that he knows. You're absolutely right. Like I, I, yeah, like, but I, because he's so funny, he was so fucking prolific, so epic, such a part of so much of our lives, you

feel like you know him. Yeah Some way of podcasting changed the game with like intimacy with comics. I mean, Jerry was one of the first ones where I was like, I know that dude. And he's a comic. And so like, I'm watching it as a comic and the few interactions I've had with him have been, is the word, Kurt.

Yeah, yeah. Frosty Kurt. Yeah. Very nice, not a dick, not a dick at all, but I wish he was like a guy you could, like Colin Quinn. You know, or a town. Who he's very close with? Yeah, Jerry directs a lot of Colin.

I bet he, and I understand he can't, but I mean, you know, whatever, it's whatever, as a comic you go, yeah, you could. You could. Yeah, I know. Yes. I mean, I've never, I've never run into Dave. I don't know if he's approachable.

Imagine he can't be. No, Dave's approachable. Imagine he can't be. No, Dave's approachable. But what were we talking about? Okay, the funniest things I've ever seen. Yeah. Those two go down as things where you're grabbing onto the thing next to you. Two things in a Chappelle show were the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.

Dave shippel as George Bush and when he grabs the the boom mic, he says, and we're killed by all the. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's the yes, it's so brilliant. I don't need to tell you why it's brilliant because you know you but here's an interesting thing I wasn't that into that sketch going into it like I was Yeah, so I wasn't that into it in that I I was like what it what it what's the premise?

What I didn't on what I underestimated was how fun it is to watch Dave do kind of anything. Yeah. And but as like a writer, director, whatever the fuck I am, like I was like, I don't know, dude, like it doesn't seem like much of a premise. Once, but once he was like, we're doing it, I was like, okay, and I wrote as many, what I find amazing about that sketch is, the shit when he's saying, he says, cofian, because I had watched it when I was doing that speech, he says, he's doing a speech and he goes, cofian on, why don't you,

you should be in Timesquare selling fake hats so fucking racist in hilarious he also like did a thing about all the people that were helping like stankonia is saying that yeah yes thank you somebody said uh... stankonia is willing to drop bombs over Baghdad.

He's just like, it seemed like he was, it seemed like it was very loose, channeling it in a way that it was like our last shoot day. We're both so tired. You can't, I'll never be that tired again. Yeah. Like it's like if you were, you were in labor for a year and a half. Yeah. That's what that, like that's how tired

Daysed and then you got done L next to them going. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was yes But the bril can I tell you what I why I loved it? He grabbed the boom mic. Yeah, they can grab the boom. Yes, it was like it was the fuck it man I I was so I used to watch the show, I just had Georgia, and I would sit with my leg, I had my leg like this. He grabbed, he grabbed our mic. He grabbed the production mic.

The production mic. Yeah, so he's, and I would put Georgia right here, and I would watch Tough Crowd, then I would watch the show. Every day I get off the road, the day I come home Monday I'd fly in Tuesday morning I'd wake up with Georgia let Leanne sleep and I'd for my morning I'd I'd feeder and then I'd let her take her nap and I'd watch all of the tough crowds and all the spell shows

it was my favorite moment I remember a separate well that that even that thing of that that's the big one. That to me is the clearest part of the premise is the if a black guy said, he tried to kill my father. That's where it just gets like, but George Bush said it. So you're like, I guess we should invade. If a black guy said he'd be like, what kind of Giddo-S president?

But so you just have a guy say it. And it was so great, but you just have a guy say it. And it was so great, but but Charlie Murphy and Charlie Murphy's got like four in my book. Yeah, but Charlie Murphy when he told that that fucking rick it was it was like it was so insane. The whole thing is so insane because the way it happened was me and Trevor were eating just at crew lunch and like somebody said some about Superfreaker Rick James and Charlie goes, I'd to fight them on the fucking like four times and I was like, what's that now?

And then we were shooting the time haters of sketch we didn't know what it was. And then I was like, what's that now? And then we were shooting the time haters and sketching, I'm not what, like what, and then I was like, huh, and he's like, did, did motherfucker do it, tell him, and I go, come on. Come on, and I literally just walk him over the day and I go, say to him what you said to me. And he goes, I had to fight for a change for a time. And Dave just looked at me and I'm like, yeah.

So how did you guys come up with the, how did you, like, how was the more, I more I hate that like this is like but it's such not I mean it's like top I know honesty. It's gotta be top Top 100 things ever ever done on television even sure I'd say I didn't want to go Go top 10 you know obviously you should have I mean again. It's all it's all just like taste But it's it's insanely funny But so how how was the making of that like what was the making like the making of it? There's a well first of all the making of it was Like did you shoot so did you do stuff and then go it's not working the original I had an idea where we would shoot

Charlie doing his version and then Dave plays Rick and Charlie doing his version and then Dave plays Rick and Rick and Dave plays Rick and Charlie plays himself and then I had another and then I was like maybe we get a Rick tell his side of it and Dave plays Rick like I had to like wait so then we ended up just doing I be Jean-Champ's who's really a friend of mine and edited Chipel Show and he just edited my new one for Netflix and, and, uh, good news, new special. My new special, yeah, November 8th. Neil Brennan, I come.

Hey, this will come out right, this will come out right then. Oh great. Yeah, it's coming out when I'm, so good you did two bears in a broadcast. Oh, fucking tight. I mean, it's like throwing it away. Doing a broadcast is just like practice

for a better podcast. Okay, that was the thing. That was the thing. That's fun. No, that's fun. So I shot Charlie. I filmed Charlie sitting down doing his interview. And Bijan watched it and he was like, he just is low energy.

And he's like, you might want to reshoot it. And I was like, fuck. And I felt in Barisca it was like the first thing I directed for the show. And so I was like, I went to day, I was like, I think I gotta reshoot this Charlie and everyone. He's like, really? So I reshot it with him standing up. And that's so much better. So it's like, B-john tells me, I'm embarrassed,

but I'm like, he might be right, go to Dave. Dave's kinda like, are you sure? I'm like, yeah. And so shot it. And then Rick came in and we did his side of it. And then then we then we did the reenactments. I think we might have done the reenactments the day before Rick got there. Dave at one point says it's a celebration.

I'd never heard anyone say that before. Charlie then goes, Rick used to say that. Like just weird shit like that where it's just like, I don't, I don't fucking know. Yeah. Like Dave could just channel shit sometimes. The funny thing was, so we used to edit, I'd have to edit for like two days straight to get, because we had to, we had these tapings that were like scheduled audience, that's gonna be the episode, and then we had to like get it ready for. So you had your production schedule was

shoot, shoot, edit, edit, and then cram it in. And then shit episode. Oh, fuck. And then air, and they aired 13 weeks in a row. There was no like three on, one off. Yeah aired 13 weeks in a row. There was no like three on one off. Yeah 13 weeks in a row so once we start It's you're just like it's like the Lucille ball thing where you're just trying to get shit and like eat shot like Lucy in the chocolate factory is my favorite can't very right analogy of things. Yeah, Kim mayor belts going. Yeah

so my favorite analogy of things. Kim Mayer belt's going. Yeah. So we, the first episode was like of that up, that season was like racial drafts. The end word family. And so, but so we had the audience there and sometimes we'd show sketches that weren't done. And, and I told David I was like, I might be able to do a cut of Rick, like I'll do like, I'll do like a quarter of a pass. I'd been up for two

days. So I look fucking like Wiley Coyote. I look like the, I look like Wiley Coyote with like, soot explosions. And we show a version of Rick James. It does okay, but it's really shaggy and it's kind of doing okay and Dave, this is his favorite story. He looks at me and he's like, this is this is good as you can get it. I go, sorry man. Like fuck you that I just stayed up two days straight to try to get this in any kind of the thing that was in that version Cocaine to hell the drug I had it in twice and it got a big laugh the second time so I was like We should probably do that. That's the best four times. Yeah, that's the best cut back to them again

He's like yeah, okay. So like it was in twice Yeah, that's the best cut in back to him again. He's like, cookie-jump-jump-jump-jump. So like, it was in twice, but I was like, so that was like in form of in terms of like, all right, that's a like a refrain and the rewind. They just made it like, all right,

we can just fuck with this more. Yeah. And then it, you know what's funny in the Kanye documentary? I don't know if you watched it. Of course I watched it. So, and by the way, I could talk about that for fucking five hours. It's like you ever be in one of those like things in your life,

like where it's like the Chuck Berry and back to the future. Like it's Marvin Berry. Yeah. So like this thing, this historical thing. So Kanye's album came out the day before Rick James. Me and Dave are in it, are in the documentary. Like Dave's, there's a kind of way, I'm in one of the background. So were at that, at that premiere concert, Kanye had maybe filmed for our show the day before. He's not famous.

Yeah. I remember when he did that thing on the boat, I was like, I know who he is, but how the fuck, like I was like, God damn it, they have their finger on the pulse, I was like, I know who he is, but how the fuck, like I was like, God damn it, they have their finger on the pulse of culture. That was just somebody he produced, most deaf's album and comments album and he was there with common. I discovered, I mean, like, I feel really bad saying this, by legit discovered most deaf

and teleb quality through fucking a shabell show. Yeah. I mean, that was their biggest, like, press thing. That went that too close. Yeah, yeah. Don't touch me. Yeah, great. It's, I mean, that is, that for me is like, when I watch those, I would go, that's the

thing, not that I'll ever be a rapper or be able to do, but I go, that's the thing I want to do. I want to make things that feel like that felt. That was such an authentic moment of catching lightning in a bottle, for lack of better berry cats words, but like catching lightning in a bottle where you go, and dude, no fucking lie, I went out and bought a fedora the next day, because they both had fedoras on

and I was like, dude in my head. I was like Dave Chappelle and I and for lack of better terms at the time knowing how much creativity went into that and how much Like how much of that blue that blueprint was was a collaboration now. I think everyone knows that more I was like Don't get let's not get ahead of ourselves you go ahead, but uh I was like, didn't say. And I don't get, let's not get ahead of ourselves, you go ahead. But I was like, that Dave Chappelle has his literally holding the pulse of America and he's telling it faster or slower because I'm watching, I'm discovering, most of his album came out and I bought that album and it was a great fucking album.

Kanye, I see Kanye, I don't even know who Kanye is. And he's wrapping on a boat in a fur coat. And I was like, and I go to the store and I see his thing up and I'm like, shut the fuck up. So I get cars drop out and I'm like, mother fucker. Well, like this is 13 excellent songs out of 15. Excellent songs out of 15.

What's crazy is when you see that documentary and you see him playing it for people and people not getting it. You're like, wow, like Scarface. I don't know if Scarface didn't get it, but he was like, he was like, yeah, Scarface didn't get it when I love Scarface. But, that's, this is happening in comedy.

Haven't you ever seen somebody and been like, yeah, and then next, okay. Not once, not once. I think what happens, it goes back to that thing we were talking about I think people have bias in the way they perceive things So I think when when Kanye went into that record executives office the female and played the song the one part of the song That's so applied to black women in America culturally about

Gucci yeah, whatever. I think she was, I don't think she has a trained to look and say, let me hear what you're doing. When it comes to comedy. Apparently, the back story on that was like, he would do that all the time. I was, I was thinking. And it was just, he just brought a crew that day. Yeah, but he had done it multiple times. It was just aggravating people. Um, but I, I, I would argue that I have a non-biased eye when I go. I by the way, I say it like it's never, but are there, are there people that get laughs and you're like, I don't think that deserves that big laugh, but they're doing something to the crowd that isn't

on the page, so to speak, like it's more like... I've seen Cheats, right. I've seen... So like, I'll tell you, there are people that people love that I go, I get it. Right. But that's what I'm talking about. I've been doing it long enough right now. Yeah. I know the Cheats.

I'll tell you what they're doing. Yeah. My favorite one is when you see someone, someone tell you they're doing crowd work. Yeah, they're just asking you the premises to their doves. Yeah, that's like old school. That's like how you survive at the Miami improv. Yeah, that's so fun.

Yeah, and so, and people are like, dude, he's genius. Have you seen his crowd work? I go in bag does crowd work. Yes. In bag. In bag's greatest crowd work guy. The greatest crowd work guy in the fuck. Yes.

Ask questions with no direction. Speaking of which, I watched Howie Mandel last night. Do a show. Us. Jeff, my finder's show. Yes. Did you do it? I knew it.

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew you did I was it it was not bad I mean it was like a kind of weird but how he did how he did a crap it was this weird thing where the crowd was super like heckily and it how he did crowd work and he was as good as that fucking HBO special from 1980. Who's sharpest fucking? Are Sineo told me a story about howie, where Kinesyn was afraid to follow. Kinesyn was like, who the fuck is this guy from Canada? Who the fuck is he?

Like, because he couldn't follow him. He would crush that hard. And he was about that good last night where I was like, dude, that shit was excellent. Howie is the quickest fucking brain. Yeah. I cut you off a million times, go back to, Excellent. How he is the quickest fucking brain. Yeah. I Cut you off a million times go back to so the end of chip tell me the end of how Rick James. Okay, so

So you play it and the thing it gets a shy. It's kind of a shaggy cut. Yeah, it gets a lukewarm Recession but the but I'm like all right. I know how to I think I know a way this. And how important is that when you do those cuts, how important is showing, how important it, I think a really good question to anyone who's really into this. How important is it to, what's the difference when you show it to Dave the first time versus showing it to a stranger for the first time?

It's more important to show it to the stranger and where do I? Obviously, most of the time we wrote it together, that one we didn't really write, so it's just like, what are you going to use? It's more, I mean, obviously he'd be like, this changes, changes that, but we would go to Caroline's and show them. We went to the seller, we went to the seller and showed racial draft and it kind of ate shit.

And she was like, this isn't really the crowd, man. It was like 1230 at the set. Really? But, yeah, we would show, that was the, that's the secret sauce of the show was like, show it to a crowd before you show it to the crowd. Yeah. Like a literally a test audience.

And that's how you tell Mike Myers used to edit his movies, Wayne's World and I think more so Austin Powers audio with the crowd. Really? If it's bombing, he would just go just do it to the crowd. Really? If it's bombing, he would just go, just do it to the laughs. If that scene bombs, goodbye. Yeah, we'd literally take the audio from the test screening to the edit.

This is how bad I am at giving notes on anything I'm in. When we screened my movie, the machine over at Legendary, yeah, first time, I sat in the front row and I cried from the beginning of the movie until the end of the movie. And the next screening they asked me not is it in the front row that I affected everyone. Of course you did. I said they're solving it. Did you point? I was melting along my lines.

And on my machine. And the end, Leanne's like the next time to kill him, Leanne and everyone's like Peter was like, Hey, man, can we put bird at the back? Yeah, because he's a really affecting like the way everyone else is in the movie. They were like, unless we want to travel him theater to theater and have him cry with his own movie, you can't have it. But I'm, I love everything I do.

I cannot see any note, any cut I get. So I need a stranger to watch it. And if I watch myself in front of a stranger, then I go, oh, shit, that's not good. Like, if it's just you, it's just me. Yeah. Fucking gold. Dave's kind of like, like, he would come, he would have to just not, he would come to the edit and then be like, he would just watch him. He was like, play it again.

He would just watch him. He was like, play it again. It's like probably like, yeah. And then at one point, it was funny because he'd come and it would be like three different hymns yelling from different rooms. Like, how are we gonna do that? And he's like, oh, and like Rick, and he'd just be like, this is fucking insane.

Like I gotta get out of it. But like, sometimes he would just watch it. Like, it wasn't, he was like you in that way. But once he saw it cut together, it was like, and with an audience, it'd be like, yeah way. But once he saw it cut together, it was like, and with an audience, it'd be like yeah. Yeah, once you see it with an audience, like when we did screenings, I was like,

oh shit, that's not working. Yeah. I mean, there was one thing I did in that movie that I was like, it's brilliant. It's like the best acting I've ever seen in my life. It's the best acting I've ever seen in my life. And I was, and I was, and I was, what do the audience think?

They didn't catch it. It's so good. And I was like, and I just was like, oh, that's like, I kept thinking, this is so full of fucking you, I'd say, but I go, that's like a, it's like real feral level. Like that's like fucking amazing. And it was, and edit this,

you can't edit it out, never mind, I won't, because the novel just play it. But I'll tell you after the thing, what I did, and it's not on paper or in scene, it's not funny, but I'm so proud that I did it because I could see that that was me being in the moment. Right. And so I was like, oh, and and but I was like, they're gonna love this. But no audience, they don't give a fuck if you're in the moment.

It's flying past me. Yeah, it's really, and then like, you could watch people go, hey, what am I? And I'm like, don't talk. You're just gonna know. Yeah, I'm missing everything. Yeah. So wait, the end of Rick James. I have a question about, well, what do you do with Santa editing?

so Great question Number one, I have to feel it on stage. It has to feel on stage I Edit I record every episode every every set and then I'll go through and I'll I I really only record to know when I can move more when my movements and I can like I can turn like like I if the movements are selling things a little better I go oh I need to move a little bit more because I can't feel that on stage I never feel those on stage. When I watch video for the the most part, I look for my lazy writing.

And so like, I have a lot of... Okay, well, what are you doing? You're editing a special. At Leanne does it. And you just... I see you watch it. I go in with two bottles of wine. And we have a great guy that edits all my specials. And we... At Leanne comes in, Leanne's a brutal fucking cunt. I mean she is she is so fucking and she's so like

She believes in 100% honesty all the time. Mm-hmm, and so she'll be like well, this is stupid This is why did you say Cleveland? No one wants to know with a fuck your tape just Just can we edit all this shit. She come to many of your shows? No, okay. And when she does, she's never been good. She's, she's, she came in, I saw you, when I saw you at the store in the last month, she was there. Yeah, and she likes those. So she likes watching me on stage when I fuck around

and I'm in the moment when she watches. That Rambo story is fucking really funny. Are you doing that? No, I'm fucking, no'm fucking no putting that down done. That shit's funny dude. So she you're like I told you your lines killing yeah, great. The so she goes to and once I can get my heart the hardest part of a special the place I'm by the way I am a little bit of a snob when it comes to specials, meaning I watch them all

and I'm very open-minded. Allie Wong special changed my life. The last, the most reason why she did. So I went, what the fuck am I doing? This is real inside baseball. I go, what the fuck am I spending 80 grand on a set design for when it's all in this fucking right here? It bow burn, I'm saying the greatest thing about that, which is like he goes, you

know what production sign on a stand up special comes down to? You're sure. Or not. That's 80% of your of your production design. Yeah. Because you're he. It's like there was a the I worked on Ellen's last special and I was making fun of the director Joel Gallon. I don't know. I don't know. He kept cutting to the reverse to shit, which is like just directors do that to show the theater. Yeah.

And I was being an asshole on the email and I go, guys, I saw Joel at a party over the weekend and someone was telling a really funny story and Joel got behind them and bent down. Said, this is the best place to hear this story from. But yeah, it's fucking, it's right there. Do you want to hear a story? And I got to be honest with you. And Ali Wong, Ali Wong's special,ad Lady Special, she has the greatest, the backdrop is very conducive to focusing on her.

Yeah, and I went, oh, so when you design a set, I need to make sure that whatever's in the background isn't distracting enough that you don't see me. Like, and then I thought, so really, honestly, when you design a set, and hers was an orange, layered background, I think. When you design a set design and hers was an orange layered background, I think. When you design a set design, like we're doing for the next one,

I'll show you my, I'll, I'd love to see it. My is, my new one is the one that's coming out in a memory eighth is. That orange, I love that orange, and you have black lines in it, and it really pulled me into Ali, and I went, and I know, I know she had an input, and everyone has an input on what their set looks like,

but yeah, I, I don't know how we got to, oh, so, so, that's Bill Cosby himself backdrop, by the way. Is it really? That orange, or Bill Cosby's got, it's the best low angle. It's not really. And he'll still Cosby himself. If you look it up, the backdrop is, it's like reddish orange, it's fucking excellent.

The, the most, most comics. Yes. Lose people. That's a fucking background right there. Maybe I'll do that. Just all red. Yeah. Berk Chrysler himself. Yeah. Berk Chrysler. They self. Yep. Yes. Better. That you're gonna get the critics. You've heard what I said. Yeah. Uh, that first five minutes is. That first five minutes is where, that first five minutes is where you make it or break in a special, in my opinion.

And that is always where I have the hardest time watching myself. That first five minutes, that first seven, cause it's an awkward point. By the way, I wanna say my backdrop is, I literally, it's part of the show. Like I'm moving these blocks around, whatever. I don't think anyone expects anything less of you doing something a little different

than I'm gonna ask. Yeah, yeah. So, but it's awkward because it's like, you need to get the live people, you gotta get the crowd and you have to get the people at home. And it's like, it's a bit of like the first part of fucking. Yeah. Or like, uh, like you're figuring it out and like, yeah, you gotta get it in.

There's a lip over the side. Oh shit. Yeah, maybe I ever. Yeah. Volvo. So, but so that's my hardest part. But what Leanne's really great at because I'll watch it. They send us a cut.

He does a, like a line cut and then sends it to us, we watch it and I cannot physically sit through the first five minutes of a special of my specials. And Leanne, it just goes, oh, it starts there. Right. And then you go, huh? She's like, it starts right there, just do that. And then you do that. And then all the sudden, for me, once I get into it, it's and once you know, obviously it's me watching me But I end up melting my special with myself and if I can mouth along with it and nothing distracts me

Then I'm good and so for the most part, but Leanne's really good at like For the last one. I have this bit about my dog for the hey big boy. I have a bit about my dog's for some reason We shot four shows first show bombed bombed Second show really good really good set, but I had mustard all over me I was like, wow dude, I'm doing something I Finish sorry third show Third show Killed four show murdered so they take the foreshow, but the foreshow, towards the end, I am having so much fun, I

get a little Lucy Goosey. And Leanne's like, Leanne, and, uh, by the way, I wouldn't have noticed it, but Leanne's just in the middle of the thing, and goes, boring. And I'm like, what? She goes, this is taken too long. Like just, do we have a shorter version of this? And I was like, baby, it's the bit. And she goes, nope. She's really, I mean, aggressively good at notes.

Great. And so she pulls a bit from the mustard stain pants. And you don't notice the mustard in the pants if you're doing one bit. If you watch it especially, you're really good. And also if you just stay. Yeah, stay up there. All right, yeah.

And so we do it and it's a minute 30 shorter. A minute 30, I don't know it and it's a minute 30 shorter a minute third No, granted everyone my stories are a little long, but uh, and so and I was like holy shit I was blown away and I was like you noticed that she's really good at that and then I have a hard time watching myself because I'm like Why are you so dower looking? I?

because I'm like, why are you so dower-looking? I literally like, I watched the first kind of this one. I was like, we have to, I was like, like, inconsolable because I was like, anytime I smile, cut to a close-up. Just we're going in, get a smile from this fucking dower-ass motherfucker. And I got a little man of my director, Derek. I directed this special for somebody and they go,

they'd never watched themselves for that long and they go, don't cut to the right side of my face. Because it's very hard to watch yourself. Oh yeah. The things you see are like, I look at my specials and if they do a shot like a side shot All I see is that all my beard hairs stick out and I go I go why wouldn't I take care of that? Yeah, cuz it no one care like I've never thought about your beard once ever

I ever I remember Netflix did a billboard of my stomach Mm-hmm, and they've sent it. And they sent it. And I actually thought they Photoshop someone's stomach on it. And I was like, that's not what I look like. Now, where is the real billboard? Yeah, yeah, I was like, where did you, who is that? They're like, is you? Is you have the picture?

It's, it was like, it was when, it was the moment when I realized, let, no, I've had this, it's one of the moments where I realized, let the people that do the things they do for a living, do them for a living. Yeah, this billboard, that billboard was so fucking great. That's interesting, because I would actually think

that that's not your stomach either. Thank you. It's definitely my stomach. Were you sticking it out? No, I was talking in the special. That looks bigger than I would think. I could, and by the way. By the way, the guy, none of these,

these, close, these mediums look like that stomach. No. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm with you on this. I mean, yeah. Yeah, it's, but... Did you do that?

So, this is what I want to tell you. So, you know how when you, I forgot to say a line during the show. And so, you just think of ADR where you just record like... And then I went back there or whatever. You just like take the line. My line was... Never thought about ADR, I'm never ADR, especially.

And I've taken one step closer, one step further. So my line is, some of us have felt that way our entire lives, right? That's the line. I recorded post-production supervisor, Aaron, champion, the great Aaron, champion says, you know, we can deep fake this. I was like, what's that now?

He goes, we can deep fake it. I've got three deep fakes of myself in the special. And Netflix is like, wait, what? And we're like, yeah, we're just going to deep fake it. It's my likeness. I said it. I can show you the second, it's not finished. I'm dying. But by the way, it's how far are we from people deep faking their specials? And you could make a new Rodney special today. and you could make a new Rodney special today.

Do you follow? Like, because Rodney's jokes are, they're not topical. You wrote an hour of Rodney jokes. I was thinking like you wouldn't want to do prior because it was so like autobiographical and current. But you could do Rodney. You could do somebody like Rodney. Gilbert Godfrey. Yep, you could do so many But they say but they were saying Bruce will a soul does likeness to a day. Yes

This is gonna fuck it. Oh my god. Oh my god That's not even the good version yet. So as I was doing this, I was like, I don't even know shit. Yeah, you could, we technically never have to do another special. Do you know what I mean? Like, because it's going to get cheaper, okay, then okay, soft pitch. Yeah. What if me, you, Jassel Nick and Tom decide to create a comedian?

Mm-hmm. We'll write all his material. Mm-hmm. We'll have an amazing voice actor do it. Mm-hmm. And we deep fake his face. And we just, we put out specials every six months. Hey, yeah, this is the new one.

He's the script. Yeah, it's like the band guerrillas. Yeah. You could one million percent do that. It needs to, the technology needs to get cheaper. Is it expensive? It's still pretty expensive. It's like not like insane, but it's like, you know.

It's probably, I'm gonna guess like at this point around a thousand bucks a second. What? Did you see the Brian Monarch video of Eddie doing prior? No. Dude, it's bringing up. It's a look up, it's on Instagram, but just if you go to Brian Monarch,

it's Eddie doing the bit about. There's gonna be a moment where you have to hold a benuse paper as you do stand up. It's there's no way to get around it because you could say that's deepfaked. Keep scrolling. You'll see Eddie Murphy, bottom right there, right side. Here, do I have one go ahead and set it on?

All right, all right. You're rich, Bill Cosby just called me up and told me I was too dirty. And Richard said, next time I'm a fucking call, I'll tell him I said suck my dick. Oh my God. Oh my God. I don't give a fuck.

Whatever the fuck make the people laugh, say that shit. Say, do the people laugh when you say what you say? I said, yes, you said, do you get paid? I said, yes. It will tell Bill I said have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. Oh my God. Oh my God. Matt and Trey own a company, a deep-pick company. They were making a Trump deep-pick. Oh my god Matt and Tray own a company a deep fake company. What they were making a Trump deep fake

Oh shit, it's crazy Is Brian Mark do bottom monarch doing these by himself? I think he is I think he just learned the technology and and did it because he's done them and he sends them to me And I always go. Oh, this is amazing man. Thanks thinking he found them. No, I think he makes them. Oh my, that changes the game. Yeah. So yeah, so I've got, I'm deep faking myself. Cause I just was like, that line should be on screen. But it's, it just makes you go, that's,

well Tom deep faked me. In the, in the dance video at the end. Oh right. He took my face and put it on a much skinnier guy. Yeah. But that is mind boggling. And it turns, it takes a guy who can do impressions. If you're doing impressions. But it almost makes the impression worse in a weird way.

I'd rather see just Eddie. The thing about stand-up is part of it is you imagine it. It's like you let them do the CGI. And it's more amazing if you're doing it the full time. The weird thing now is, I'm like, are you a deep fake? Like that's, it doesn't take long. Once you go, Tom deep fake me and I go,

wait, am I Tom? Like very quickly. People are gonna be nostalgic. I had this on the other day. People are gonna be nostalgic for reality. Yeah. Like man, it was just, we were just there and we just walk. And it was me and him and we'd walk and we shook hands and it felt like something and

Because the thing you realize about like VR and zoom and all this up Somebody was telling me they have a kid. He's like the amount of behavioral issues. There are for like six and seven year olds now they think So he's like my daughter went to school for two years. Her first year's a school were on Zoom. Yeah. They started school this year in person, and she doesn't understand that this is reality.

And that Zoom is fake. Oh my God. And you're like, what? But I know he's right. Like I don't think the doctors in anomaly. I think it's like, yeah, that makes sense. And I don't know. Like does to the formative brain. Yeah.

Because my nephew has only lived in, uh, in, in he's, he, well, he was, he was actually didn't start school, but he only knows what it's like to live with his parents. And so sometimes he got a behavioral issue. Yeah, because they're not used to dealing, they don't, the kids aren't gonna negotiate, they're just gonna hit you or scream, or bite you or whatever. And his sister was born towards the end of the pandemic

and now is going to school right away when he could wasn't allowed to go. And it's fucking, that is insane. I stopped, this is, I mean, this is the smallest version. But I wore, for the longest time, I wore the Phoenix Sapphire 6. It was a, it's a runner's watch. And I wore it because it kept my heart rate,

it kept my, all the stuff. And I also would wear a whoop, but I like to see what I was doing on running. It would alert me when I got a text. It would alert me, you know, if I'd get messages, someone came in the house, I'd get a thing, oh, okay, so if I'm laying in bed and someone walks into the house,

the next camel come up and it tells me. And then I bought this watch, and I realized how detached I got to be, and how my brain wasn't thinking about all that shit, and I was like, fuck, like that, it forces you, you get an Apple watch, I've ever been talking to someone and they're just like, this, you're like, are you late for something, and they're like, no, I'm getting texts.

And you're like, and being in the present moment, I think there will be a time where very soon where people get nostalgic for like analog life. There will be like analog like parks or like resorts or like your phone up. For real, I think it will be there kind of are now but I think they're people always say when you go to shit do you like fun to yeah, I don't yeah, well, I'm so so are a lot material is. But people say when they go to like Dave shows or whoever, a big phone, they go, it's more fun because I don't, it's like, I don't wanna have to worry about it. It's, these phones are great and amazing.

But at the same time, it's nice to not have, it's been nice to not really think about my phone talking to you. That's what's funny is people, I was joking with somebody. I was like, the only relationships I can manage anymore are on podcasts. It's, I can't friendships and I hurt feelings and podcasts, this is perfect.

I had, I haven't talked to Mochakasher in probably, I'm not even joking. I'm probably six years just like hung out with them or done anything with them or even texted with them and he came on and did something's burning with Kurt Braunholer who once again I haven't talked to and probably six years and we had so much fun yeah we left so hard and then I haven't talked to him since. And then this morning I was like, I texted him. I was like, hey man, I had a great time with you.

And then I was like, what am I gonna, and then what do we, should we hang, I was just, and then I was like, do you wanna, do you wanna, do you wanna, do another podcast or something? We should probably monetize it. I remember Joe saying that to me one time. I was like, what are you doing?

And I was like, I'm gonna go, we should do something. I was like, hang out, he was going to the podcast, and I was like, I are you doing? And I said, I'm gonna go, we should do something when I hang out. He was going to the podcast and I was like, I don't know. He was like, I mean, why not, right? I'm gonna talk, we should record it. I was like, yeah, I'm good call. He's like, tomorrow, I was like, yeah, see tomorrow. And we hung out, got high, got drunk, did a podcast

and I was like, that was a fucking blast. Yeah. I mean, you just get in there and get drunk. No, there's value to it. The thing, you know, because the guy was talking to about his kid was talking about porn. But I would argue, okay, so you and I started having sex before the internet for sure. If this is taking out a context, it sounds like, no, you and I were having sex. I have to take it out kind of.

Yes, yes. And then once the internet started, we stopped talking. I started having sex before, before around the time of car phones. Like when a phone went into the car. And an actual phone went known. 80, I was 17, so 80, sssss, 89.

I started 91. Okay. And, but I don't, I mean, I guess we're not the right but did porn have an effect on how you had sex. So I had seen tape porn and I would do so there were three moves I knew. I knew you could do a missionary, doggie style. And then, and then, and then, and then blow job and going down. Yeah, those are the moves.

And that was by the way, you can learn nothing from going down on a woman looks like nothing on video. Yeah, they, they, you can't, it's unfilmable. Yeah, you should, they should, you should be able to click subtitles and it tell you what he's doing. You can't, it's unfelmoable. Yeah, you should, you should be able to click subtitles and it tell you what he's doing. You're right. So that you can go click click and then he's like, oh, it's gentle circles, gentle circles. Yeah, yeah. It's a hard, hard, hard, hard, hard. So I definitely, those are my three moves. Those are my three moves for a very long time.

And then I dated a girl when, uh, in my senior year of college where some of us were watching porn with her because she was very fucking advanced. Yeah, like the first time we had sex, she was like, do you want to come on my face? And I was like, can you do that? And I was like, well, now I do. I mean, I never, I never even thought about it. I don't want to. Yeah, I don't want to.

I never even thought about it. I guess I was what everyone does when they're here. Oh, I guess I said everyone does when they're here. Oh, I guess. And so and then by the next chick I had said, but the time I got to my wife because I haven't been with a lot of women, but the time I got to my wife, I was like, oh, I've been doing research. And so the I, yes, I would argue that a certain amount of it is training. Yeah. Like, it just in terms of like, there's this, you can do this, you can do this, you can do this.

I remember seeing, and I missed this, I remember seeing a new move on porn, and it would be like the flutter of a heart, like a first kiss, where you were like, you were like, whoa, what are they doing? Whoa, what the fuck is that? What the fuck is that? Like I remember watching, I remember this one.

Well, you're a moment in the machine movie, where it's like, it's really something happened. If I was in a porn, if I video took myself, I remember this one from your moment in the machine movie, where it's really something happened. If I was in a porn, if I video took myself, I almost took a picture of my wife making the song last night. The, I, but I remember moving in New York and buying a porn, putting it in and seeing a move where I went, whoa, okay, I'm jacking off to that.

Like that turned me on. And I haven't gotten that feeling. I think I've always been searching for that feeling, but when it comes to watching porn, you get so inundated with so much stuff that you're like, they're like, the next time it happened again for me, this woman, Mistress Isabella gave me,

like bondage porn, and I'd never seen any of that. And I was like, whoa, and that was probably 99, 2000. And by the time I started having sex with the aunt, I was like, all right, like when I started, Whoa, and that was probably 99, 2000. And by the time I started having sex with the aunt, I was like, all right, like when I started, I was like, I got nine moves I gotta try. I had a joke in my special, the first time I saw reverse cowgirl, I was like, I'm trying that with her.

And she was such a regular person. She's like, wait, I'm just supposed to look at your feet. And I was like, yeah, I like that you gave her a Southern accent. That she's a red neck. Wait a minute. How long? Wait, wait, wait, what now?

Do what? You want me to look at the wall? Well now she's black. Shit. Motherfucker. God damn it. That is, but I would argue, like porn been interesting for women because you probably haven't.

I've seen, I've slept with women before porn and after porn. And the stuff they want is significantly more. There's another good book that I read called Everyone Lies, where it just went over the porn searches and it's fucking fascinating. What percentage of men do you think search for violent sex versus what percentage of women search for rough sex? Oh, I would guess way more men. I would say 50% of men, I'm just guessing that based on statistics I've heard of being an ally.

50% of men versus I would say 15% of women. 4% men. What? 25% women. Shut up. That's what I quit. I was like, it's like a staggering thing. Or like, wait a minute, what?

Women, did, I, because women never saw porn before. No. So they were like. I didn't know never saw porn before. No. So they were like, I didn't know they even watched it. Yeah, so then it was like, oh, I want to get choked a little. Yeah, it looked like, it looked cool. I had a buddy, I had a buddy when we moved out, we're so bumpkins from Tallahassee. When we moved out to LA together, he was with a chick and she said, I want you to choke

me. And he goes, nah. She was like, no, that's what I'm into. And he goes, not falling for that. I'm out. And he stopped talking up with her. A buddy of mine, professional athlete, you know, a fucking, and the girl was like, choke me. And he was like, so he choked or any,

it went like, like a little bit with the camera. That's how you choke him? No, no, no. But if you're a fucking, if all you do is exercise all day and you're fucking over six six and Blake Griffin has big hands. It wasn't him. That's a good, that's a legitimately good guy. Yeah. Reprock. I mean, yeah, he'll, he'll murder like he's just fucking toss you through a play last

one. I mean, yeah, Hillmarty, like he just like and Toshy Throat play glass window. But, but yeah, like men, so the, the rough sex thing is they're women are sponsoring that. Cause I don't, but that's the thing, guys are not like, I don't go into it wanting to choke. I don't go like, yeah, some guys do. And I, I think it's small, but it's small. And you think because if they're searching for it anonymously, it's 4% of guys are into it.

That's fucking insane to me. Yeah. That can you, do you have a racial preference? Like if you say like, white, yeah. I'm kidding. No, but like I can't, this, I made this sounds horrible, but I'm not, I can't watch a black dude fuck a white chick in porn because then I start but like, I can't, this, I made this sounds horrible, but I'm not, I can't watch a black dude fuck a white chick

in porn because then I start going like, Germain Fowler had the best joke about this, which is like, it'll be, it'll be like, white woman, white man, like babysitter, whatever. I need to fantasize myself as the guy. With black guys, it's a black man versus white woman. He's like versus. Why is everything so like, ugh.

I don't, yeah, no, you're right. It's like, who do you? Cause by the way, if we're talking about, there's something incredibly gay of wanting the guy to come as a straight guy. Yeah. Like I wanna watch watch another straight guy. Well, there's a lot of gay, there's a, like,

I would argue even watching blowjob videos, like a girl's second guy's dick is pretty gay because like, like, you're just going like, oh yeah, I hope he's liking that. Yeah, like, I hope that boy likes that. Yeah. I watched, I watched one blowjob video. I watched Savannah Samson, one night in Paris or whatever,

with Savannah Samson, and her blowjob scene was so aggressive with Rocco's reddies that I was swallowing. That I was like going, I gotta get it. I gotta get it. I got to see her mouth's upside down. Jesus Christ. Have you ever seen that?

It's aggressive. You would remember. Rocco is all aggressive. Rocco's fucking. Yeah. I can't watch this stuff. It's like, it's more like X-game shit. Yeah, it's like what? Well, that's one of the things when girls want rough sex. It's like, all right, you know how much fucking work this is for me? I've been doing a joke recently about like girls don't understand when guys don't want

sex and it's like, because I don't want to do a planks class at 1.30 in the morning. Like, you guys get to just float on a pool, whereas we're digging a pool. The difference in the amount of shit we have to, ah, is staggering. How long have we been going, Holston? All right, Nidal job's gonna kill me. We should have done two episodes, Jesus. Let's see if I left anything off.

Trevor Noah, most beautiful man in comedy, bigger than Kevin Hart. We never really talked about death, but I'm glad. David Chang, you're gonna be on an episode of something's burning, motivational, god damn it. I'll bring that up when we do something's burning. Great. What's motivational?

It's a, I have a take on motivational speakers versus autobiographical books. Meaning if you read a book about a guy's, a person's struggle and overcome in their struggle, it's more direct than a guy's seven healthy tips to living in. Oh, I agree with you, man. And so I think, so then this begs the question, where as you look at these guys who are killing it

in the motivational space, like, I'll put Rogan because he's a friend, but like Rogan and the guys that come on that are like, here's how you got to change that. That military guy. Jocco Willink. Uh, yeah, there's a David Dawgans. David Dawgans, yeah.

Like, like, Jocco is a great guy. So like, this is my thoughts at him. I was pulling around. I was, I think you're smarter than me. So I thought I'd go throw it your way and see what you came back with. Um, is Jocco's thing is once that alarm rings, you get out of bed. Four and 30 and the morning you get out of bed,

you go to the gym, these are victories. I, more importantly, I wanna know their motivation of what happened to you as a kid, where you get out of bed, so that I can find the thing that happened to me, so I can access that emotion to get me out of bed, cause whatever, I'm not accessing the right thing. Does that make sense?

Yeah, no, I was thinking about in this area yesterday. I was watching somebody, you ever be watching like, you'll find yourself tearing up. Oh yeah. And you're like, what about this is making me tear up? Yes, that's the thing I'm talking about. When you're like, what about this is making me tear up? Yes, that's the thing I'm talking about. When, when, like, how do you see yourself? Like, what's the, like, you literally made

an autobiographical movie? Yes. What's the Bert movie arc? Not, but I'm talking about the whole, the rave, like the Ray Charles biopic version. What is the is the what did you who were you at the beginning? Who did you become yeah? I'm the kid Shepelle and I once again It's the things people say sometimes resonate with me and I never forget him

Shepelle says one time do you remember going to first grade and feel like all these kids knew each other? That is me that I that when he said that I went Like I that space in a conversation he and I have one, he said that I went. That's based on a conversation he and I have one time, which is like, I couldn't believe how big their personalities were. It's like, yeah, this is crazy. How fucking big first grade. Yeah, like, yeah.

This motherfucker's good. How's this guy? It was just, and I'm like, it was scary. Yeah. I started crying in first grade. I cried first day. I cried first day. So've cried first day so bad Mrs. Thomas had to sit me at the front and a desk and hold my hand and I kept looking trying to tell kids like

What if our parents will come back like I was a mess and but that is I My arc would be a guy trying to figure out who he is and and and I think to figure out who he is. And I think not getting it until the end of his life. Like, do you feel like you made it late? Oh yeah, and I'm so glad. Well yeah. Because, no, I'm so glad because the guy that was supposed to succeed early

would have not been a great guy. Yeah. I would have been, I would have been every, I would have been an eg guy. Yeah, I would have been, I would have been every, I would have been an egomaniac, I would have been, I would have been buying nice cars. I wouldn't be the guy that doesn't look at his bank account and just goes, just put in the work, just work hard. Bust your ass, show up, eat shit, cash checks,

fucking, hey man, if they need you here, fly back there. If you're gonna do the specials, you're last special you're ever gonna do. Like I think I would never have, I would have been, I would have been a hard core flash in the pan. Like, I would have been, pfff, yeah, because I am so,

I, and I think the older I get, the more I know who I am, the more I'm getting to like, like myself, I don't think I've ever really, I think I've never really liked the, the guy that shows up at the party and says the more I'm getting to like like myself. I don't think I've ever really, I think I've never really liked the guy that shows up at the party and says the things I say. Sometimes I get in the car and I'm Scotty J from Boogie Nights. You're fucking idiot, you're such a fucking idiot. Why are you fucking goddamn it?

So like I think that would be my arc, I guess. It's not like an interesting arc. But what is it? What's the arc? You didn't know who you were? I think it's my whole thing is trying to... I feel like I've always... Just like we talked about, like,

Chappelle Rock, all these big names. I know in my heart of arts, if they saw me in a mall, they wouldn't be like, Oh, hey, what's up? Like, I just know that. I, I can, I bet money the opposite. I, I can guarantee you, I, I will find out where Chris Rock is and I will walk past him at a hotel and I doubt I, I would put, I put $10,000 down that he doesn't go, hey, Bert, it's Chris. I'm not gonna say anything about Chris, but I'm just saying, I'm not.

There's a difference between, hey, Bert, he doesn't really intro himself to people, but he would absolutely know who you are. Let me put things in perspective. I still say I'm Bert to everyone. Good, like I said, I did it to someone the other day who came backstage, she was like, I'm Bert, Chris, I know I'm burnt to everyone. Good. Like I'm practice. I did it to someone the other day who came back stage, she was like, I'm, Crystal, and I'm burnt. She goes, yeah, I know, and I went, sorry.

That's who I am. I just, you know, I'm not, but I think my journey is, I think my arc is, I don't know, it sounds crazy, but like I've always felt like an underdog. I've always felt like an outsider. I've never felt like I belonged. Even when I belonged the most, like Florida State, I've never felt like I belonged. Even when I belonged to the most,

like Florida State, it was like the last fucking year. And then I was like, God dammit, just when I go, I got this place dialed in. My freshman year didn't know anyone in the relationship. Sophomore year didn't drink, didn't really, by the time junior year, or second junior year, get involved with this Russian mafia, come back, girlfriend cheats on you.

I feel like everyone thinks I'm a cock, right? Like never, I was the guy to this day, I was the guy, I remember this so distinctly that would go to the bar and I was telling this something the other day and go, I hope I fall in love tonight. Like, I mean, what fucking guy in college is like, I hope I meet someone who understands me and gets me.

My whole thing's been trying to get people to like me and get me. So I think, and I think in that process, you don't really, when you're that guy, you don't really get to, and if you're that guy and you're honest about it, I think there's a lot of guys that aren't honest about it. But I'm very honest to myself about going like,

I want everyone to like me, I want everyone to enjoy me, but in that process you break a lot of eggs making that omelette where you leave a party in your life's like, so you really think you can beat every Asian and a foot race and you're like, I don't know, I was trying to get them left.

I was like, what the fuck? Do you do less of that? Now more, way less. Like, so the party that like desperately, we'll go, I'm just bored, some shit out. Or the shit that's embarrassing, you do less because you feel differently about yourself. I don't feel differently about myself.

I feel like I'm, no, I'm just as bad. Like there'll be, there'll be there'll be someone someone will say something and go We'll be at a at the store Someone will say something and I'll hear a voice of my head go. It's that's their story You don't need to prove this to anyone do not tell everyone how much you spent on your car do not say the exact price that you spent on your car Do not I know exactly what you're talking about on your car, do not say the exact price that you spent on your car, do not. I know exactly what you're talking about. I just got a car, like, and I'll be like, what the fuck are you doing? And then I'll just get in the car and be like,

God damn it. And then, and then you, you punched the number up by 5,000. Anyone can Google that and go, you definitely didn't spit that on my car. It's like, I like that whatever that is is I always say. So you haven't, it sounds like you haven't changed. You haven't learned anything. Not at all. Same guy. Same guy.

Well, I mean, that's its own arc. That's a different movie. It's a funny movie though. Yeah. Like the guy who learns nothing doesn't change just got wealthier and more famous. You monetized. You monetized how fucking you're pitching a movie that is my life

Like achieved a ton still drinks like a fish Still drinks the no no only yes only stops only changes one month a year Advertises the whole thing monetizes it makes videos about it But if there's fucking that's a really funny story I mean that's a funny arc for a story like Learn nothing. I think those are the characters I loved and my Arthur is like that we disarther It's running the end of catty shack. It's Rodney at the end of Backscore. It's Bill Murray in fucking Ghostbusters. Yeah.

It's every, I think I idolized those characters and I just was like, and subconsciously just became one of them in real life. Yeah. Well, a lot of those movies are a fight for your right to party. A lot of those 80s comedies are a fight. Even old school is just, it's not worth saving the senior center. Yeah.

We're saving the frat so we can part, like we gotta protect our ability to party, which is your kind of your thing. I've been throughout my life. I've been every character that you love in Cadyshack. I've been Bill Murray. Yep. I've been tie trainer and now I'm Rodney Dangerfield.

Yeah, hey everybody we're gonna get laid. Hey. And in the TV version, we're gonna take a shower. Take a shower. Rodney's got the funniest line. There's some Rodney audio on like Apple music or whatever Yeah, he has a bit that's like a long bit called Southern Comfort. Yeah about a airline like a Southern airline That's it's an airline but so it's a little hacky. Fucking funny and good writing, not no respect. But he has a line that fucking makes me laugh where he goes like, Oh man, what a crowd.

You know me, I love crowds. You love crowds. You love crowds. The fuck are you talking about? You know me? You know me, I love crowds. I've never heard anyways that Ronnie, no one really loves crowds. I sat my car one time and listened on Series XM

to one of his hour specials, one of his albums. And beginning to end, I was crying laughing. I was like, so fucking good. And even the bad ones have an integrity to them. Like I know why you thought it was gonna work. Yeah. And I love you for thought it was gonna work. Yeah. And I love you for, I like love you. Yeah.

I love you more because the joke, it's like a, didn't quite work or it's like the logic is obvious. It's like, I don't give a shit. The crowd doesn't give a shit. It's like more fun. Everything about that guy, the fact that he would do Vegas and he'd be in a robe naked in between shows. He'd take off all his clothes and just sit in a robe.

The fact that he, you know, Bob Sagitt had Rodney's joint box. I wonder what he did with that. I guess he, oh. Yeah, something, nothing. I think his wife has it now. I think Bob's wife has it. What could he have done with it? So I hope he sold it.

He told it to me. He showed it to me on the, we did a podcast, Zoom, and he pulled it out and he showed it because this is Rodney's gift basket. If I could deep fake anything, I'd have I'd have someone deep fake Brian monarch. Can you deep fake Bob Saga going, Bert? And I want to give this to you. And so then I go, you know, he said it in the podcast. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think that's legally binding legally binding So just you said it. It's gotta be true. Did he say I want to give it to you? No, he just he just showed it to me That was So many comics are dying. It's hard to even remember. Oh, so many comics are dying that I got I started getting Inundated with calls there were I got like four calls. I meant we're worried about you.

I was like, Norma cancer. Yeah. There's something like you fucking, I think because it happened so immediate, like no one knew about it, that everyone thought, you know, that, oh shit, it was his life, you know, like something like that. I also don't want to jinx you, but most people in Philly are built like you. Yeah. And they don't die young, necessarily.

Like they, it's, I think I mean, some do. I think sadly my destiny is to outlive everyone I love and every funeral I go to, people look at me and go, I should have been you. Yeah. Like if I'm not lying, I'll be like, just learn nothing, give them the thumbs up. I've learned nothing.

Hey, we're all getting laid. He basically, I'm not gonna lie. Just learn nothing, just give them the thumbs up. I've learned nothing. Hey, we're all gonna get paid. You basically, that's what you know. This has been a great podcast. Thank you for doing it. You're special, November 7th. November 8th. November 8th. Called Neil Brennan Blocks.

Neil Brennan Blocks. Yes. I can't wait. And then obviously, let's see if we can do something as important before that. Yeah, please help promote it. Thank you for doing that, buddy. Bert, Tom, Tom and Bert. One goes top Yeah, thank you for doing that. I'm ready.

Bird time, time and bird. One goes top and swat the other. Wares the shirt. Tom tells stories and birds the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean. Here's what we call, two bears one cave. No scripts to bid a booze amateur, patology. Dirty jokes, rony humor, no apologies.

Here's what we call two bears one cave.