2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 25 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: April 13, 2020

In this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss how they're spending the quarantine, Bert's weight gain, and Drake. Bert graces us with his singing and freestyle abilities, and discusses his Adam Sandler interview mishap. The bears also talk to comedian Ian Bagg, 90 Day Fiance producer Dan Adler, and sports analyst Pat McAfee. How are YOU passing time during the quarantine? Let us know in the comment section below!

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It's not something to glow. Stop. Just stop with the bit. They are disproportionately severing. It's not something to glow with. Let's stop, just stop with the bit. Okay. Okay. The, the, by the way, if you are someone that is like,

if someone's looking to cancel someone and they're like, Berkgriger says something they could literally pull out the intro to every single one of these. If you did not know the joke and be like, the guy literally says the most horrible stuff to his friend. Yeah. They always edit it out.

Just wait, I said something to you earlier that you didn't understand and I was like, can I scoot in? Yeah. Is that better? How's that? I said something earlier. You didn't scoot in.

They went to the chair, they'll have to move. Yeah. How's that? Is that better? That was like an animal moving. That looks like a walrus trying to find his way over to a mate. Are you?

I'm gaining weight. I'm working out like crazy, but I'm just eating like, I mean, I found, so like sometimes when I used to- Wait, what was your pre- what was the thought you were about to say that before this? I could, I could not stop laughing at the preposterous suggestion that white America was telling black men to start wearing masks. Like I said that to you I was like it fucking made me laugh so hard that they're like hey black guys can you please cover half your face and walk around the city. We've only been shooting you uncovered. Like we're

not big fans of you wearing hoodies but go ahead and cover up all the way. Yeah cover up and then can you guys bring flashlights and then kind of just flash them into our windows. I just found it so preposterous that it's like tone deaf did you see Drake's new mansion? No I did it's if it's you can pull the pictures up it's fucking city Toronto which I don't know what our lives there he's from there. Oh yeah it makes sense I was like why the fuck would he look like Toronto like oh my god that looks like Versailles yeah it's fucking ridiculous they sent they sent uh look at that I mean is that a house or is it like a resident imagine I think it's I mean it's it's not a building you know like a like a crazy penthouse apartment? I don't know. I don't know.

I've always wanted to buy a full, like, like one of those beat down warehouses. Look at this basketball court. Oh my God. Does it say he lives by himself, I think. He's got a kid now. Oh, he does. Oh, he's got a girlfriend?

Yeah. And a kid. I mean, does it say any specs up there? It does. His master bedroom is 3200 square feet. That's pretty big. It's big, it's bigger in my house by 1,200 square feet. Fuck. 44 foot high ceilings.

In the great room. 44 feet high. Bro, you can shoot a gun in that room Crazy Drake is I don't I was I was saying the plane that he got last year no does he may I he must make money What does he do what like what is he like I know he's Drake, but like what does he do is he like The producer or something Like, what does he do? Is he like a producer or something? Yeah, well, he's a singer's song to me.

What's his song? His song is, Hey, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go a $250 million plane. And they see it as like a co-beneficial. Oh, by the way, I'm willing to do whatever the fuck. I'll shoot. Porns were dudes fuck me in the ass on that plane. Like whatever you think is a co-sponsorship. 767. He got a 767.

It's crazy. Dude, I don't even know what he does. Does anybody like it's I guarantee there be more Something really cool and then let us film him getting fucked in the ass By the way my quarantine is going the way that I think that might be interesting So you you said you've been gaining weight though. I've been gaining weight like I'm just eating like crazy Sometimes when I used to drink I would and I would when I used to drink well back in the day I used to drink. I was been fucking months now.

How long has it been 20? Uh, I'll tell you I have an app on my phone. You have a most people have this app. Why do I wasn't going to be able to? It's called a a a a a a a two a's. I don't know. I all. Uh, all the ex a number. No, it has been 25 days, three hours two A's, I don't know. I drinking times within this 10 week off. Wait, when?

If I can do, I'm allowed to drink if I don't drink five days before or five days after. So, have you had a drink in the 25 days? I've only had two drinks with Joe in this 25 days, two drinks at all, in 25 days. So when's the next drink coming up? I can do it whenever I want, but then I gotta go five days after

before I can have another drink. Yeah. And then if I gotta go five days after before I can have another drink. Yeah. And then if I can go five days after, that doesn't count as drinking. Does that make sense? Makes a lot of sense. Yeah, and so it's been 25 days, 20, it's almost a month. By the way, I wanna see if I can go over.

You know something crazy? Yeah. I've had a drink. Well, that's not crazy. And I haven't thought about it even. You haven't even thought about it? No. Edibles. I have an eating edibles. I would love to be eating edibles. And I haven't thought about it even. You haven't even thought about it? No. Edibles.

I have an eating edibles. I would love to be eating edibles. But I'm eating mild edibles. I do it at night like an hour before I want to go to bed. And you're already tired? No, I'm not tired. No, that's the thing is I'm not tired. And so it's like, I take it, I start watching a show, and then I just kind of feel it.

It's so mild that you feel the shift go through. I love that feeling when a drug kicks. Yeah. Like Xanax, when all the sudden you're like, it just hit. It just hit. This is what normal people feel like. It's pretty good. Wait, what kind, what kind is it?

Is it the Kiva Bar? It's, no, I have a few of those. I get cheap at shoes, 10 milligram. Really? But you know what, Josh will tell me, Josh has an insane tolerance potter to edibles. Insane, he's like, I've given him, I'll be like, oh, here's a few.

10 milligrams, oh shit, it's been a hundred. It doesn't affect him. He has to eat so much, he's like, your tolerance is gonna go up, but I was like, I've been eating tens for a while, and then I feel like it just shifted. Really? Yep. I would love to start eating.

I feel like 20 milligram times gonna make an appearance pretty soon. Really? Yep. Slow increase. And then next year we'll do this podcast. I'm like, I ate 200 milligrams last night. Leanne is, Leanne had a problem sleeping, so she got these edibles, but she thought they were CBD. She did another THC in them. Oh, yeah.

And she ate one. It was 10 milligrams. And I said, I said, do you sleep all of a sudden? She goes, I, every time I close my eyes, I see fireworks going off. And I was like, was that comfortable? She goes, no, it's just aggravated that I wasn't falling asleep. Christina had, she did the CBD droplets. Yeah.

And she was doing it for a while. And then we got the one-to-one THD and she took like a full, I think one or two full droplets. Shut up. Dude. She was like, ah, something's going on. She was, it's the middle of the night. I was like, what?

She was like, I feel, I think I'm having a stroke. And like, I could see in her face. Like, she was really panicking. And I was like, what are you talking about? She was like, I just feel, yeah, something's wrong. We had something's wrong. And I was like, nothing's wrong. What did you take?

As soon as she said CBD, I was like, let me see that bottle. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I want to be able to do it. The problem is I don't have the tap out day where I get to try it Because I'm with the girls every single day so like do it at night. I know but even still I go If I do it tonight and I go if I do it tonight It's not gonna knock you on your ass man really no you'll get you'll get a buzz if you have the I like smoking joints more Do that then I know but I don't want to smoke because of your fucking coronavirus the coronavirus wait Do that then I know but I don't want to smoke because of your fucking coronavirus the coronavirus wait Because I go I don't want to be do the edible then I know I'm going back and forth I have them sitting on my desk. What's a little uh do it the little mince yeah, there are only two point five milligrams

Oh, you're gonna have to pop a few of those really yeah two point five's really low really yes I'll pop one two point five tonight and then we're doing you will not feel that we're doing a prank to the I'm doing a prank to the girls But it just started last night. I realized it so we watched I tweeted about it I'm gonna dose them. I like this is the prank by the way I was thinking about giving them a Zanix the other night like in their drinks so that I could fuck me in just take I'm tap him out for a little while. I wish I could do it to my fucking toddlers Do we used to do not we used to do our... Stop breaking shit. Uh, suitified. Give him a little suit of fat.

Oh, really? Yeah, a little night night candy. I need some daytime night night candy. My fucking 20 month old just opens every drawer, throws shit across the room. Dude, you had a laughed hard. I wish I had this on video for you. What? Like a movie I had this on video for you. What? Like a movie I went to chase him and I was really trying to chase him and I was wearing socks on hardwood floors and I went up in the air and landed on my ass. And like, hard.

Because I saw him, I was talking to the older kid and I saw him run by a- I was talking to the older kid. Yeah. And I was talking to him and I see and I'm wearing socks and boxers and a t-shirt. And I see my little one run by, and he's holding a slice of turkey with mustard on his hands, and he's running towards my couch.

And I go, don't fucking touch my couch! And as I run, I push hard, you know, I'm really trying to chase him. I get one, two, and he's like, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, bam, and I'm like, aww. And they both turn to me and they're like, they look, that little one just looks at me

and my older son goes, are you okay? And they go, yeah. Wait, do they realize that they live in a different house now? I, yeah, I think so. Like do, are they asked like, where's my old room or something? No, no, that's crazy. Yeah, George and I did not want to move

when we were there were babies. No, not at all. And then I told you about the time that Georgia, when we started renovating our house, we had to get George and the movers shit out. This is the, I mean, the hardest I've ever cried in my life. And so I said to Georgia, I said, I said, come on, baby, we need to get your stuff out of here. We're starting demo tomorrow. And so I said to Georgia, I said, uh, I said,

come on, baby, we need to get your stuff out of here. We're starting demo tomorrow. She's like, I know, I know she was maybe like going into fifth grade or fourth grade. And so we bring her in and the lian's like, she's still not doing it. So I go into the room to talk to her and she's sitting on the bottom bunk on her bed. And I go, I sit down and go to Georgia, honey. We got to get this done done today and she looks at me and goes daddy when they tear down this room my child will go away she goes all my memories from being a kid or in this room just give me one more day and I went oh my god and she then she looks at me she goes I don't I don't want to grow up daddy and I start crying and I'm like holding it together I'm

like baby it's gonna be okay and then she looks at me and goes it's okay you can cry daddy I fucking started sobbing I was like holding it together. I'm like, baby, it's gonna be okay. And then she looks at me and goes It's okay. You can cry daddy. I fucking started sobbing. I was like fuck this renovation fuck your mom She's an asshole. She wanted something else. I don't like she married me. Oh my god I was fucking melted down. Hardest I ever cried Hardest I ever cried was sitting with my daughter on her bed. Just fucking like oh my god my toddler my four year old He asked me if I was a fag. Okay. Do that was almost the second spits you were gonna get. What is it with these words that make me laugh so hard

when I hear them? Did he say it like, what are you a fag? Yeah, he's like what are you a fang? Yeah, he's like are you crying? No, he's like no. He's like you fell you don't cry are you a fang? Oh. We should team our families up during this quarantine. You got enough room.

Why don't we just move in with you? I'm over. Yeah, I would love. I'm fucking so bored with my family. Of course. I tell you the prank I'm playing on them is I randomly watched we watched this is the end, right? Now they didn't know that all of those guys are movie stars. So they saw it the first time not knowing who Seth Rogen is. Really? Not knowing who Jonah Hill was. They didn't know who any of them. They never seen any of their movies. They didn't know any of them.

So then I had to explain. I go, oh no, no, no, no. These are all movie stars. Now, the little caveat is Jay Berryshell, who plays Seth Rogen's best friend. He's not technically a movie star the way Seth Rogen, and all those other guys, that's the plot of that movie. This is the end, is that he's kind of like a working actor and writer and and they're just all

movie stars and he doesn't fit in but they I told them they're all movie stars so then they go Jay Barishel is a movie star so then randomly we watch Tropic Thunder and they're like aww there's Jay Barishel which is an odd person to point out when you see that cast right then like oh it's Jay bearish Shell and I went oh yeah and then like God he's in everything so tonight we're gonna watch a million dollar baby with Jay bearish Shell you're gonna be like this guys just playing Jay bearish Shell movies I'm gonna play all his movies I love it this that you think this is a prank we're at the end they'll be like so that guy works a lot, I guess. And you're like,

Right, he's in everything. So the next five movies we're gonna watch is just Jay Parrish. I mean, my daughter's gonna be like, fucking Jay, and then in a month, they're like, whatever happened with Jay Parrish. Did you see... Did you see the Burdus interrupt this promo? Oh, it is is so good these guys did it. You should play it. Yeah play it

It's really good. It's on my Instagram right now. I don't know what's better birdus and a rapist or birdus ignoramus Which is when I interview Adam Sandler. Oh, that's coming up. Oh my god. Oh Oh, that's coming up. Oh my god. Oh, is that a Corona fucking face mask? Yeah, are you selling that? Yeah Jesus Christ. I started a drinking game called Bertis interruptus We have a drink anytime he touches his face knows ears any mispronunciation Asked a question then changes a subject to a story about himself any utterance of Mickey Mantle. If he interrupts anyone, two drinks. Anytime he tells a story, only interrupts himself, and then tells another story and forgets the first story.

Two drinks anytime he touches his toes, or smells his fingers. Anytime he answers a question with a story that has nothing to do with the question. When I was working for FX, yeah, I had a five to nine. Who would you not want to be quarantined with? Born-Tweened with? Do you have any left?

People have asked me a lot. She knows dick was that big? Then I went in full stamps. I wrote my first joke. Full stamps. Looks at me and he goes, all right. Are we playing the game yet? Let's go back to what?

Let's go back to what? I haven't had. I drank with Judd smoked with Joe, but I haven't drank all quite a lot. I really touch my face a lot. Jesus. I'm like, oh, I'm trying to think of this is a drink category. You'd be hammered.

I haven't done any of those yet. Really? I don't think. I probably touch my face a couple times. I know I touch my face a lot, so I've been sanitizing my hands as much as I possibly can. I touch my face like I'm a dermatologist. I touch it non-stop.

I've been trying to write that joke for a while. I bet. How many times I touch my face? Touch your face a lot. I touch it non. You clear your throat, you get your face. I burp. You burp, you just smell your fingers.

I smell my fingers, non. If I find something new on my body, I smell it. Wait, let's go to, let's go to, you can get the sandwich stuff ready, but do you think, you can, tell me what you've been eating, say you've been eating like crazy? I've been eating like fucking crazy,

M&M's, crazy, M&Ms. And M&Ms, just like, I mean, I took, we found Reese's Pieces and I poured the whole thing on my mouth and just let them sit there. The whole thing, and I thought to myself, the whole bag, the whole bag, they're pretty small. Like what the doctor recommended serving of Reese's Pieces?

They don't have doctor recommended servings. The ones that are like not extra supersized, just like what they'd sell in like a store. So like 50 Reese's pieces or something? Yeah, yeah, I just put them all in my mouth and I went, that went quick. And I was like, and I know I'm not done. I've been eating a bowl of cereal

with two different cereals in it every day. What cereals? I don't know, they're my cabinet. One's grape nuts and the other one is like a bunch of nuts, but it's got honey in it. Oh, honey bunches of oats? That might be it, honey bunches of oats. That was my shit in high school, man.

I love honey bunch. I've been going through cereal like I'm fucking fine. You think about honey bunches of oats that I loved was that it gave you the illusion that you were eating healthy. Oh, it's not healthy? I don't think so. Yeah.

It was like, you're like, oh, it's oats. And then it's just like just covered in, like clumps, like sweet clumps in it. Oh, so good. And it's especially if you let it sit there for a while. I start off breakfast good. I'll do two eggs. When I do this, I've been doing one egg with a,

a Dr. Prager's burger as the hash. So I'll crush a Dr. Prager's burger and then put it to Dr. Prager's burger. Oh, it's a veggie burger. Oh, okay. Really good. So use that as like a hash. I'll crush a Dr. Pregor's burger and then put it to Dr. Pregor's burger. Oh, it's a veggie burger. It's really good. I'm really good. So use that as like a hash. I've been doing that, but then the wheels come off

at like lunch, I start eating candy. Like I ate a whole fucking... It's part of the the mindlessness of being at home and having nothing to do, right? And you put chocolate in your mouth and it just feels like you can feel things shoot into your brain like, yes, yes we're winning, we're winning.

He's breaking away from the back. He's doing it by himself and you're like, God, this is fucking good. I did it workout this morning. I did a Zoom, like a trainer, you know? My trainer trained me. Leans were doing, Kiwi, Tweet, how did it, is it work?

Well, it's the, here's the thing. I've been working at home, and I was like, he's like, yeah, we should get a workout in on zoom. I was like all right So I put the laptop in the room and then he's like we'll just do body weight workout You know like you don't need the weights or anything like okay? That's it. I was really close to throwing up. I mean it was so much fucking I would it reminded me of Hard workouts. I was like oh I haven't been working out. I'm texting this to the dog

We had to do Georgia's workout yesterday. New data, okay, new data coming in. The virus that I don't understand much is from Korea and China. I really have to review the primary data. Hospitals are seeing a 50% drop in heart attacks and stroke patients. Huh?

Where are you reading this from? It's a text from somebody somebody I don't know. Oh, you just randomly started reading it. By the way. That's a new category. You had no context. You were just like, the architects are down. Like what?

It is. What are you talking about? This guy texted me today, he goes, Hey man, Rally scheduled for tonight, making sure you haven't bailed on us. Don't know the number, right? So I went, who's this? And he went, Jay, head of the committee. You't know the number right. So I went who's this and he went J head of the committee you and I spoke last week and I went really and he goes regarding the March remember elephant walks six

feet apart city all as a screw you to the current lockdown positions and I wrote don't remember that. Sounds hilarious probably won't be attending best of luck he goes no worries mate now. Now I know he's Irish. We're not Irish, Australian. If you don't shrink before, let me know. We can really use the troops. Movement's going. Let's shift this entirely to something else.

So, that was holy shit. What were we talking about way before this? Candy? Candy, what you've been eating, you've been gaining weight, you said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you weighed yourself? I haven't weighed myself. I'd weighed myself right now, Nick, and I would guarantee over 240.

And I'm run, by the way, I'm running legit a lot. I'm running non-stop, but I can't stop fucking eating. I'm like, I cannot. The other day, I went into, you know what, it's granola bars, these types of things. I have six granola bars. You ate six kind bars. Not, I ate their baby kind bars.

They're only like this big, but they're. Let me see that. I'll tell you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Ah, ah, ah, ah. 200 calories. But, no, no. What is baby ones? Okay, let me see this. The baby ones are not as much. I have baby ones I've been eating the nature valley ones with the coming in two packs. Yeah.

Dude, I cannot stop. Okay, this isn't so bad. I mean, it's got five grams of sugar. That's not so crazy. Coffee's not working for me, and I'm not drinking, so I wake up. You said that you've been, you got 15 grams of fat fat you should eat six of these

But the small ones are only like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not bad Wait, what did you just oh, cock? Do you think you don't drink after noon? I try not to I'm drinking a Red Bull die Red Bull right now because I want to run tonight. I haven't run today Okay, so I'm gonna get on the treadmill and run. I've been doing at least four miles a day Do you I should send you this workout that I did this morning. I'll do it tonight in Filio Tape. Really? Yeah, send me it. I'll do it tonight and I'll videotape it.

So, by the way, I want to apologize. I got to publicly apologize to the people from funny dance show. Okay. Because they... Okay, what did you do? All I know is I got hit up with a couple tweets, a blue check mark on a lady that I've never seen going, real nice to have you shit on me. I was like, what?

I don't, Nandalab, do you remember what we said? I don't know that we said anything, because I know that Brad Williams was on the show. Okay. And I know Brad and Justin Martin Dale, and I know them and I wouldn't shit on them. And I don't know what I said negative about the show, but all I know is that she received it negative,

and I probably did shit on the show. You did? I'm certain I probably did. But I don't, I wouldn't. But she's the creator. She's the creator of the show. And she sent me an email and I was like, I was like, I don't really know what they're gonna say.

I'm gonna tell you. Her name's Heidi, he's let. Heidi, he's let. And her tweet was something the fact of real nice to know. And then apparently someone in the industry asked her to take the tweet down. And she was like, real cool. I guess I've made it in Hollywood.

They're asking me to delete this tweet. And I was like, and I was like, don't delete the tweet. I was a fucking asshole, I guess.'ve made it in Hollywood they're asking me to delete this tweet and I was like and I was like Don't delete the tweet. I was a fucking asshole. I guess I wasn't she I think she's a comic I'm pretty sure she's a comic right by the way I'm still talking shit and I won't mean to I'm not trying to talk shit. I'm trying to apologize for him I was a great fucking dancer. Yeah, he's a great fucking dancer. This is her. This is her I'm not fucking dance her. Yeah, yeah. Because I great fucking dance her. This is her?

This is her. She does stand up, she's very funny. I'm assuming she had had a couple drinks when she sent that tweet because I didn't really understand all of it, but I wrote back a wrote, I'm not really sure what I said, but I sincerely apologize, my friends. We're on that show, I watched the entire episode

of my family, which is true, and then I wrote, I definitely wasn't trying to trash you or my friends. I'm sorry I came out that way. I feel horrible. I'm sorry. Look, the thing is is that like I, I'm sure I shit on Dax, shepherd and Christina Bell. I'm all last week. I'm sure I shit on whatever, whoever the fuck we talked about last week. I don't know what I'm saying on this show.

I'm just talking to Tom and then it comes out. And so I'm sorry if I, I did not mean to show on the show. I watched it with my daughters. So what does she do? She hosts the show? Yeah, she's one of the dead choreographers. She's a dancer? She's a dancer. She's one of the hosts. So she choreographs it and then she wrote, hey, going off my emotions, like whatever. I think we're cool, but my point is it's so hypocritical of me to shit on anything because some guy fucking I put some video up and he goes Hey, man, just let you know your special is trash It's nice and I was like and then I wrote why would you tell me that of course?

Why would you even share this fucking shitty opinion just listen if you don't like either just keep it to yourself Yeah, and by the way, I don't, by the way, I loved Tom's special. I don't want to hear your negative opinion. Tom, neither do I. More Taylor Tomlinson's or anyone, like, just keep it to yourself. But then here I am on this show, Trashing this woman's project. And I'm like, I am a fucking hypocrite.

I sat there going like, here I am telling people to shut their fucking mouths, but then I try to get to the bottom of why people criticize things. Like what is it that makes you feel that you get offended? You want your reaction, I think you want your reaction to be validated, right? Like, when you watch something you legitimately don't like it. You first you try to express why you don't like it, right? Yeah. Like so you go like, well this sucked.

Why? And then you, you, you, but what I think right? Yeah. So you go like, well, this sucked. Why? And then you, you, you, but what I think is crazy though is to go like to go to that person and tell them. I think it's such a, yeah, I would never telling thing that somebody would go like, you know, I watched a movie and I didn't like it. I'm going to find who directed it. When I go to his Twitter account and be like, hey, I saw your movie and I hate it.

What the fuck is wrong with you? I go out, I will go to people's things and tell them I like stuff. I like, I love telling people I like stuff. Like there's a movie where the guy was obsessed with Bruce Springsteen. Yes. And he moves to America or whatever.

I hit him up. I hit him up. I hit him up and he replied, he's like, oh thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. And then I wanted to be like, hey man, check out let me follow you. I hit him up. I hit him up. I hit him up. I hit him up and then he replied. He's like, oh, thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it. And then I wanted to be like, hey man, check out Let Me Follows app. I'm kind of a big deal.

Like maybe DM me on this, you know? Yeah. Maybe come and ask me on my podcast. Whatever. No, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I didn't say it. I thought it.

I definitely thought it. And then DM them. Everyone's like, everyone's like, I'm all about it. But I wasn't trying to shit on a funny dance show. And by the way, I have noticed myself shit on things in my head and go get offended that I don't like it. It's such a weird...

Yeah, but it's normal to shit on things in your head. And it's normal, I think, to shit on things with friends and in private. It's a different thing to publicly target somebody for what their song or their... I did it to Drake already. To Drake?

I'm sure Drake's gonna be like, hey man, I'm a fucking, it listens every week, he always, he texts me. But you also, I don't know, you shouldn't him so much as you're unaware of what he does. Yeah, but that's even, that's even like, you know there's people going, who the fuck is this burnt Christher?

And you're like, and then you're like, why did you even need to say that, man? Just don't, like, I, but so here's what I was my point was, is I was, I noticed the hypocriticalness in myself of where I maybe came on and was like, not glowing to this TV show. And then I was like, why am I representing anything negative? Why don't I just find,

do you think it's because you're attracted to her? She, she's pretty. But you think that plays a part? No think it's cause you're attracted to her? She's pretty. But you think that plays a part? No, it's definitely has nothing to do with it, but she is pretty. Yeah, but yeah, but like a perfect example, the, this will transition us nicely, is like, is like, oh my God,

I wanna share something so bad. Sure it. I won't, I'll just share that I caught it. So if that person knows that I caught it, but like what? What? I, what made me decide to call this out was that there is a person,

you know who I'm talking about right now. There's a person who has a fake Twitter account, I won't say the person's name, fake Twitter account, like a burner account, and what they do is the person's name. Fake Twitter account, like a burner account. And what they do is they then tweet really negative shit about me. And then they tweet it to themselves. So funny, pathetic.

It's so pathetic. And then that person replies to that fake account and goes, oh my God, I didn't see it, what happened? And I caught it this week. Yeah, because they accidentally- They were drunk and they did it from their own account to themselves and then replied to themselves. By the way, this is gone, this person caught himself

and then deleted it, but not before I noticed it, a bunch of fans noticed it, and a ton of fucking comics hit me up and noticed it. And so I shared it with you and I thought, I thought to myself, that guy is a loser, I don't wanna be a loser. And so I shared it with you and I thought, I thought to myself, that guy is a loser. I don't wanna be a loser. And so I don't wanna be, like I would never have a fucking burner account.

No, but that is so sad. You don't wanna be that guy. I'm never going to. But here I am, maybe being shitty about this woman's dancer, then I watched the whole fucking episode with my girls. So whatever part of me that came out negative, I was like, I'm gonna fix that in me. Yeah, okay, but first of all, I don't think that you said something to outrageously critical

because I can't even recall. And if you had like like really bulldozed it, we're definitely guilty of this. Like remember when we lit up the fucking the comedian. And fucking yeah. And do you remember? And do you remember we got the thing we're like and then and then both of us both of us take each other like what did we say there's a kind of a difference though like we we are professed we are shit talkers yeah so we're gonna see things we make fun of it I think there's a difference between riffing goofing around being like this fucking thing blah blah and like find like going to that person.

You know what I mean? If we like, we're goofing off about some comedian or an actor and we're like, like, this guy's a clown, you know, about your talking shit, it's different to do that than to be like, hey, pull up, pull up his Twitter and be like, hey man, I saw your thing and it sucks.

That's totally different. So bizarre. Because that's like, I would never do that. That's a deliberate attempt to like, demean and hurt, criticize them for that. Even with Garth,

like we do, we do, we want him to release hostages. And we, we, we have encouraged that, but we never say that he can't sing and we never put down his art. We just want the families to have closure. It's different. want the families to have closure.

Different. People want to see their wives, their sisters, their mothers again, let them go. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Wait, so this is a perfect segue into this.

You can have this read because you always get really enthusiastic about. Oh, wait, who's that? Yeah, about anything you like. You don't just go like, I like that. You're going, I like the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life. And so this comedy gives back thing.

We were all comedy at Lafayde. So the whole idea was they, I don't know who organized it. Baldinger, did he organize it? Baldinger came up with the idea. And then it was like reached out to a bunch of comedians who... Jody, Zoe, and someone, I forget about this. And they produced it.

Yeah. And they basically, this is, the idea was to raise funds for... For comics out of work. Out of work. And like obviously, you know, there's a huge sliding scale. We're all out of work, but the people who are coming up are like really in a tough spot. And that was the idea.

And I know, by the way, you know, you put this up and I think tweeted something and someone was like, well, we're all in a tough spot. What am I supposed to do? I'm like, well, then don't donate. I mean, don't donate. By the way, it's just, it's just our field and we're just trying to help people.

It's the only thing we can do. And by the way, lots of people were like, this wasn't this supposed to be funny. I was like, I don't think any of us really, originally, I think Zoe and them were like, they'll do stand up. Dude, I'll tell you this. I did, I did my segment. Yours was awesome.

You were. You were hosted by Roy with Junior. Yeah. He had me laughing legitimately laughing hard. I watched yours. Yours was great. You're like, I'm at my side-ticks house. Well, I was just like riffing off of what he said,

but he had that, he went on, he was talking about what's going on and it was like he was doing a stand-up, but it was so genuine and authentic. And he was like, if you meet someone and they can't say COVID or corona, they got that rona. Like he was doing that like before we brought me,

I was laughing really hard. But yeah, that was just a fun, we did a fun 10 minute thing. So before I went on, I didn't, by the way, I was in the, they put you in a virtual holding room. Yeah. And I'm like, just waiting and everything was running behind. And that was my fault. Yeah, I'm sure.

It was definitely my fault. There's like a a there's a segment host and then they bring on people and they talk and so I'm waiting and I see Whitney on camera. I just I'm seeing her on the screen and she's like close to it. She looks amazing. She backs away. She did. She looked really pretty that day. I gotta say that. She might call host. Okay. So she backs away and I didn't even know where you were gonna be, but I see you there, you're there, I'm like, oh, and you guys have like

tape measure, so you're staying six feet apart. And I'm just, I'm like, oh, there's Bert, and you guys are talking and then they're like, oh, sandlers coming on, I was like, oh, sand, oh, cause he was in my waiting room. We're in the virtual waiting room. But could you talk to him in your waiting room? Yeah, yeah, yeah. oh, because he was in my waiting room. We're in the virtual waiting room. But could you talk to him in your waiting room? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did you talk to him in your waiting room? No, I said like, hi. Did he know who you were? No, dude, he started talking. I, you know what, I do around people like that. I just go like, they know what I talk. I wish I had your fucking energy. Yeah.

I wish I could be, do you know how many times I've said that? That I wish I could be like you, where you can go into a room with a bunch of famous people and just not say anything and leave and go that went great. Yeah, well I need to say stuff and then I think it went great and I get in my car and I find out it didn't I also Bombs in front of samler Wait when like a year ago over real hard. Yeah, a legit bomb David Spade said David Spade said after this he goes I saw what you did and I texted Sandler to say he's really a cool guy like he's funny and he goes don't like think bad about him you should check out

a special it's good and then he said just so you know you know it's Chandler Sandler checked it out and he'd like to he'll call you and I was like I wanted to say I didn't gonna call and he said he tweeted it was funny, but I didn't get a call He did tweet it was funny. Oh, yeah, we'll get into that. Yeah, yeah, okay, so yeah, we'll get into that So anyways I'm watching this thing. I'm in that way virtual rating with Adam. He goes on and then it's with you and Immediately I'm like, oh man, because I,

Oh, you know me so well, you're like, I know you so well. What I could tell is that you're really on one from the beginning because of your introduction, because your introduction, you're like, he is the reason of it, like you get into this, really build up all the superlatives. I fall in love quickly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I was like, because one thing I know about really famous people is that they're so accustomed to a lot of flattery that they're either embraced the flattery or they're put off by it. Through either myself or Bill Burr. Yeah. You try to compliment Bill and he goes, eh, you know what, enough, enough.

Yeah. You can tell me that. And I'm like, oh, thanks, really? Tell me more. Yeah, yeah, of course. So you're just rolling the dice on what's gonna happen. We have footage of it here. Let's see. I think this includes it all. You missed so much, Sal.

Berkreicher humiliated himself in front of Adam Sandler for the better part of 10 minutes. You have that, please? Yes, yes. He said everything wrong you could possibly say to Adam Sandler. You want to hear a cool story, Adam, he said everything wrong you could possibly say to Adam Sandler. Do you want to hear a cool story Adam real quick? Also, wow! Also, why are you that close to talk to him to the screen? Why you look like you're looking over someone's fucking

uh, fence in their yard right? Sir, I'm so fucking excited! I was like a squirrel Okay, go ahead of Sandler who we everyone could agree was already less than interested in being here to begin with For Christchurch call all of his movies the wrong title. He called it happy Madison But I showed them happy Madison. He said he's gonna watch with his kids precious gems. We're gonna watch your movie precious gems soon watch with his kids precious gems. We're gonna watch your movie, precious gems soon.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And he already knows he's like, this guy is a fucking jackass. Yeah, yeah, yeah, buddy. Okay, pal, that's like. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Adam just being polite because he can't publicly be like,

shut the fuck up, man. It's called on Cudjams fuck face. Keep going. By the end of that, C crusher sounded like an Adam Chandler character. He was like, what movie was the final issue that you issued every single day for the rest of your life? No way. It's a for that. I got no idea.

I never thought about that. I never will. And I hated that question. That's what it's going to be. It's a vertical night long. When we talk, I got to go. I got to go. This is not going to be watching a big boy tonight.

No, I will, I'll watch that, but that's it. Uh, did you, did it hurt a little bit when he said that? A little bit? When you did, did you feel like cold inside for a second? I felt numb and then I, if you watched it, I then took out a flashlight and I flashed it at the screen. I panicked. I panicked so hard I had this flashlight

that shoots 10,000 luminums and I just hit it at the screen thinking it would make it turn off. Like, make this go away. Oh, Paris. And so, but here's the worst part of all of it, right? Is I realized that question and go, well, by thought it was a good question.

But- I gotta be honest, I love you stepping in shit and everything like that. I watched that live and I thought it was what you always you you come up with like These sometimes outrageous, but really fun ideas and same thing goes for questions I thought it was like a really interesting So when I'm watching it live, I was like that's such a birth birth thought. Like if you can make one day, the day that was, which movie, I thought he was gonna be like, oh man, it's, you know, and just, because I know for a fact that like, there are shows I've worked on where the set,

so much fun, they're just showing up to set cheer me up. And I was like, if I, and I thought, I think everyone who's a Sandler fan goes, what movie do you think about it? Like think about it. Yes. I thought about it. I thought it was a good question.

And he had, it actually threw me off watching it when he was like, I don't like it. And I've never thought that. And I hate your, I was like, oh my god. But like it threw me off. It really did. I was like Whitney just wrapped this interview up right now. Just wrap it up with a bow. And then I left Whitney's and I was like Whitney just wrapped this interview up right now. Just wrapping up with the bow.

And then I left Whitney's and I was like, and she was like, that went great. I think that went really great. And I was like, yeah. And I was, Tom, I was like blind. I was like, yeah, went great. And like in my head, I was like, it was great. You know what?

That one question? Is it like when you bomb a show and people were like, good set, you're like, yeah, you know, I think there were like a lot of people in the back that liked it. It wasn't, it wasn't even that. It was that I thought I heard laughter. Yeah. And I didn't know that I didn't do well. And I people in the back that liked it. It wasn't, it wasn't even that. It was that I thought, I heard laughter. Yeah.

And I didn't know that I didn't do well. And I got in the car and I left Whitney's. And I'm driving down, I'm driving down where you can start get reception. And my phone blows up like just. And I was like, oh, it's odd. And the first one's Jay Ocarson. And it's a text, it's a text.

I'll read exactly what it says. It's Jay, that's the first one's Jay Ocasin and it's a text. It's a text, I'll read exactly what it says. It's Jay, that's the first one I read and I'm like, oh, that's odd. Like, I guess Jay didn't think it went well, but I was like, oh, cool. Because you still don't know how it went? I still don't know how it went. Because when I called you, you had the face,

I faced time, you had the face of someone who was really well versed in it by then. He wrote, damn, dude. We gotta talk about everything you said, everything you said went wrong to Adam. Holy shit. When we go, we're going on now, LOL, and then I went, it went bad.

And he wrote, you were hilarious and adorable. I just think it's so fucking funny. You said every title wrong, and I read that, I went, huh? You didn't know yet? I just think it's so fucking funny. You said every title wrong and I read that. I went, huh? You didn't know yet? I didn't know. So then how does your brain work? It just goes faster than my mouth sometimes.

Because you always, you miss day, you miss pronounced and miss saying. Stop. But happy Madison's kind of forgivable. It's the name of his production company. It's the combination of two names of movies, right? Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison. But I so I I'm driving and then my phone rings and it's my

Gibbons my Gibbons was the writer on my show on Netflix. And it was the producer of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the producer of this segment. And he texted me he calls me and he's laughing hysterically. Yeah, and he goes, dude, that's sad. I'm that's Sandler interview was fucking classic. And I was like, right, it went, well, right? Because I'm like, Jay's off, right?

It went well. And he went, dude, you asked him if he had Netflix. Yeah, that's what I was about to ask you right now. And I was like, yeah, right? And he goes, Bert, he has a $200 million deal at Netflix. Like, he definitely has, like they throw it in. And I went, oh yeah. And then in my head, I was like, oh yeah, okay.

And then, and he was like, Bert, I go other than that, it went good, right? And he was like, you, you called all his names, movies by the wrong name. And I did not know I did that. Precious gem. I went, I did. And he went, Bert, you called it happy,

gill, happy Madison. And I was like, okay, in my head I was like, whatever. And then he's like, and you said your daughters and you guys are gonna watch Precious Gems. I go, it's not called precious gems, it goes. It's uncut gems and I went, all of a sudden, I got cold, like real cold, like I had fucked up. But I feel like, do you go, do you go,

I feel like you say things like, there's probably a turnaround this corner, I'm just gonna start turning. Yeah. And then maybe there'll be a turn there. Yeah, and yeah, like it's almost like, it's exactly like that. And I know we gotta start turning, like I'm driving a race track track blind.

Yeah, going like, here we go, this will be kind of right. It's like driving, when you felt that cold, was it? You'll get this analogy. It's like driving in the rain and Florida when the rain's so hard, all you know is you think you're still on the road. Right, right, and you're like, I'm going, maybe I'm going too fast.

Yeah. And then you're, Oh, dude, Right, right. And you're like, I'm going, maybe I'm going too fast. Yeah. And then you're, Oh, yeah. Dude, I, as soon as he said you call it precious gems, that's what I was like, I did call it precious gems. That's not the name. He's like, it's uncut gems. And I was getting on the 101 and I got cold.

And I went, oh, I fucked that interview up. And he was like, dude, he wouldn't answer your last question. Yeah. And then I was like, oh my god, like I really, I like, I went home and then I was like, block out and I'm not drinking. So I'm like, you know what? It's probably was like for him though.

You ever do like radio call with a host who's like, I did it. All right, we got a big stand at Queen Dude. This guy is so fucking funny. I just saw, hey girl, you're new special and you're like, I did Collins Monday morning. Yeah. I did Collins Monday morning Yeah, I did Collins Monday morning and the first one I called into is the guy goes

We got Brent Christian they're on the phone and I was like, and I'm like motherfucker And he's like he's got a new special called hey Hey boy big boy, and I was like that's not the title But I was like whatever and then I was, this fucking idiot didn't do any research. He couldn't even just read it right. So maybe there's a little bit of that for him too. I then talk to, he's like, this guy's our word. It's interviewing me.

Hard. And my head, I was like, I just don't want Sandler to think I didn't do any research. Like that I was like, I was like, I do you imagine if you're like, I actually don't know who you are. And he's like, what? And you're an actor?

It's so much better of an interview. Yeah. I was like, so how long have you been in standup? Yeah. So, since you've been in movies and you're a popular guy, I said, I said to Leanne, I go, I did not do that interview well. She was like, well, I'm sure it's fine. I go, actually, babe, I think it's the worst interview anyone's done.

Like, like so bad, like, she goes, it can't it's fine. I go actually, but I think it's the worst interview anyone's done like re like so bad like She goes it can't be that bad and I go no and so I started playing it for her and because it was on all things comedy's thing and I said the intro and she goes, oh babe this intro is too much and I went that's not the bad part She goes that's not the bad part and I go no and then she said whoa Why are you so close to the screen? And I'm like, baby, it hasn't even gotten bad yet. And she watched it, she watched it, processed it, and she goes, okay.

I know you, and you were overexcited. You were way too excited. And that's cute. She goes, I think it's a- I'm daring, it is. And then she goes, here's the deal. You were like Chris Farley in that sketch where he interviewed Paul McCartney,

except you weren't playing a character, you were really that moron. And I went, okay, and she goes, well, you know he liked Chris Farley, and you know he liked that sketch. So he's got to think you're okay, like, it can't be that bad. And then I just sat there,

Mike Binder texted me, and he was like, great fucking interview with Sandler, ha ha ha, and I was like, motherfucker. And then, like, everyone. And then like everyone. When I face time, you go, what? You were already laughing and I was like, fuck, I gotta call you later. Yeah.

I was, cause I was like, it's funny because like you do, all I could think was, I legit, like I was like, everyone's gonna be, I just thought everyone's gonna be like you fucking suck You like all the internet because it's the biggest star on the whole platform Probably the number one interview they have for the whole thing and then I Wasn't even invited to be on Whitney's thing I fucking bum rush it and I ruined the interview It was like oh my god and then that night I'm sitting there and

And I I'm scrolling through my mentions and I see one from at Adam Sandler and I was like, oh my god. And then that night I'm sitting there and I'm scrolling through my mentions and I see one from Atte, Adam Sandler and I was like, huh? And he was like, hey, I wanna thank Burton Whitney for having me on Laugh Aid. Check out Bert's special, hey big boy, I'm watching it right now, it's fucking hilarious or whatever. And I was like, all of a sudden I'm like, okay, fucking,

all right, and then I'm like, so that paid off then. Hit the movie on pause, we're watching, this is the end. I go, hey guys, I'm gonna work out, everyone figure out how I'm gonna retweet this. Like, my daughter's like, what? I go, I'm gonna retweet this, I'm gonna, I need a comment, so I'm gonna run a few ideas of how I comment on the retweet, like, made my year,

I don't wanna bring up coronavirus, right? All right, right guys? And they're like, dad, just retweet it. And I go, no, no, no, no, I'm gonna quote retweet it. Like, and they're like, like, dad. What'd you go no no no I'm gonna quote retweet it like and they're like dad Would you go with my daughter is like who the fuck's Adam Sandler? I go the fucking guy from happy Gilmore And she's like huh like they mix confused that with like a ace Ventura Yeah, I'm gonna go no and so then I just went just made my year

It was like that it's the best comment I could ever get from the guy. I'm in dude Adam Sandler By the way story I told up to them, this was like, you want to hear a cool story? Oh my God. You're like, do you remember that show? He's like, yeah, of course. You're like in 1995. You did a show in Tallahassee.

Do you remember it? And he's like, mm-hmm. I want to do, I want to kill him. And then you party and somebody was like, do you want to come party? And I didn't and I regret that and he was like All right, yeah cool buddy. It's to the other time with that story This isn't this is a story that I'm telling that he can't reply to yeah reply There's no you're like it's not a question. Is it hey one time you're in a city that I lived in yeah, and I burn I didn't go to see you

He's like, okay Yeah, and I didn't go to see you Do you remember that that was the end of oh my god That is the far these kids Show there and then I was awesome Yeah, I've done a few things since then, but I do remember that night in Tallahassee 25 years ago My buddy Alan I remember that Do you remember doing Happy kill happy Madison and he's like I remember that Oh man, well, I want to say that take your memories intact and I had a great interview

I don't see any signs of dementia Oh man, I want to say that I think your memories intact and I had a great interview. I don't see any signs of dementia. I hope you have the best. Oh, so last week. Oh, you felt like flexing your singing muscles. And I think, is it our good friends at Grass Kingdom? Wait, what? So you sang, remember the Ariana Grande song?

You sang. Oh, no. You just decided to sing less. I thought I wrapped, I died. What did I sing? No, you sang first and then we wrapped. What did I sing? And Ariana Grande song.

Oh, and so they... I thought it was I for her too. She probably would want one if she saw it but he laid music to it and like kind of made it a song you know I mean. Oh does it look good? Let's check it out. It's more about hearing it but you can... I want to be like all the time I think I'll go to a test ride So I'm picking it up, picking it up I'm picking it up, picking it up, oh yeah I'm picking it up, picking it up Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Look, we can get up. We can get up. We can get up. Oh yeah. We're off here. We're off here. We're off here. We're off here.

We're off here. We're off here. We're off here. Awesome That's fucking awesome. Well, what we should probably do is shift careers I mean, why don't we just rent a studio and start making music hold on is that what her real song sounds like? I have no idea. And I'm gonna because that sounds awesome. I'm gonna go ahead and guess no. That's not. That is awesome. That is awesome. I dance to that. Like that's like a legit song. Yeah. And it's I know that they're her lyrics. Thank you, Grass Kingdoms. Grass Kingdom. Fuck yes. Grass Kingdom a chick. No. No. Interesting profile picture though. Is it?

Is it a long-haired hippie? I can't see. Oh yes it is, a long-haired hippie. Great job grasking them. Young grass boy! What? It was just funny. I'm vibing.

I'm vibing. That sounds fucking awesome. Yeah. We should do a music video for that. For for that I want to sing the rest of the song Now it's that good I think we do another song and then and then and let them cut it together whatever you want man pick up a Drake song Okay pick up a Drake song. That's a great idea. It's a fucking brilliant idea. Yeah Drake number one a Z play that one Yeah, um Drake number one AZ play that one

Intro no Money looks like a good one. It's a remix one. So it should be easy to remix Southerns smoke is southern smoke baby Frank. My name is Nicholas F. Oh, it's Drake Southern smoke is Southern smoke baby Frank. My name is Nicholas F. Oh, it's Drake Southern smoke Money, so you say money in those Oh, I'm sure this thing is just talking. This is just talking. Yeah, it's just talking Oh my god, Lyrid! Oh my god! Mother and... Smoke! Wait! Do you impression?

Let's both. Because I wonder if we get taken down for just playing the talking part of the intro to this song? Because I think we should both do impressions of what we sound like. His talking into the mic. That's like before the mic's music starts. Yeah. And it's my impression of Drake. By the way, I know Drake's from Toronto. You know now. I know I know now he's from

an hour ago. You're like, why is he moving to Toronto? Wait, is he like a raptors fan big time. Are you serious? Yeah? They gave him a ring wait what he has a championship ring for the raptors. Yeah Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Toronto Toronto Toronto Toronto Toronto. How do you spell it? How do you spell Toronto? It's TORR Oh, it's Toronto not Toronto, but that's like you hang out with the lone ranger the Canadian say it like that They say Toronto they say Montreal and they say Shit, let's call Canadian right now. They say Toronto bullshit call. Okay, call. I'm calling a Canadian right now What's your Canadians name? I think I'm just gonna call them and you I just typed in Canadian Let me check out a different name

Here we go Canadian Okay, who is it? I by the way, I would love another diet Red Bull. I'm getting jacked on kid Red Bulls tonight Get on the treadmill. Who are we talking to? Hi, hi, this's Bert Christy here. I'm with Tom Seguro. Are you familiar with Tom Seguro? Nope, never heard of him. OK.

How do you say the word the city in Canada that Drake is from? Toronto. How did you say it? Toronto. Is it Toronto or Toronto? Toronto. Fuck. Now, do you know who this or Toronto? Toronto. Fuck. Now, do you know who this is yet? No.

Oh, let's play 20 questions. Tom Siger does not know who I'm on the phone with. Tom, you get to play 20 questions or try to guess who this person is. Okay. Here we go. Go Tom, first question. Where do you live now? Long Beach.

It's Ian back. Goddamn it. Long Beach. Hey, Ian back. God damn it. Long Beach. Hey Ian how are you buddy? How are you? Good I'm missing you I love you. Do you sound far away from Berk? That makes me happy. It's six feet it's six feet we'd like to keep our distances. Okay good are you guys doing are you guys doing two bears in the house or whatever it's called? Two bears's one cave yeah we're talking about drake do you know who Drake is uh... yes he is uh... he is from the tv show the grassy junior high there you go really

uh... bird asked me who he was and why he was buying a house in trano are you serious you didn't know who Drake was i know the name by don't know he's like uh... he's like it's like a name like uh... like uh... will you have buckley i know. He's like a, he's like, it's not like a name like a, like a William F. Buckley. I know that that's a name that's a name of person. What? But I don't know what he does. Do you have no idea who he does?

No, or like the guy William Barr, the guy that he's in does something in politics, bar. Does something in politics? I don't know what he does. I don't know what he does, but I know the name. He's the attorney general. I don't know, by the way, I don't know what an attorney by no the name. He's the attorney general. I don't know by the way I don't know what an attorney general does Because I raise them right and listen to country music

Go ahead and clip that out. All right, let me ask something wait wait. He had Tommy was asked something Ian Yes, so it is Toronto correct. That's how Canadian say it. Yeah, yep Try and see and then it's also Montreal Montreal, yeah, wow to try and see and then it's also Montreal Montreal. Yeah, well how does Bert say he says Montreal Montreal and Toronto Montreal, you don't have to you don't have to force any of it out just let it flow. Okay. It's kool-grey It's not cold-grey I'm gonna call I'll call you after this, okay? We'll go over some more Canadian things.

Hey, ask him if he has any dates to promote. Oh, do you have dates to promote? Yes, I do. You dick. I'm so happy I don't have a bus parked in my yard. Are you lining up that fall? is the fall getting full free? All right Go to e and bag calm and look for his fall dates

All right, I got his name comedy out on play with the bag a little bit Yeah, two bears in the house got a house. Yeah, my boy He's the best. He really is. So Toronto, Blake, not that Toronto. Toronto, Blake is from Toronto. Let's see. Let's see. Can we play just the talking part of the song?

And we'll do both of you impressions of the talking part and see who gets it closest. I don't think we can play the talking part. Okay, I'm going to do mine. This is my, okay, give me the, and This is just a talking part. Now, I want you to listen to this at home and tell me how close my talking part sounds to Drake's, okay? All right, so pretend there's a beat. Give me like, can you give me a beat?

Because you know a beat's playing and then he goes, he's talking over it. Yeah, that's true. What's this song called? Money remix. Money. Okay. Money remix. Money. Okay. Money remix. Here we go.

You got me a beat? Bo-ch-de-bo-ch. Hey, thanks, Corona. Bo-ch-de-bo-ch. Okay, bo-ch-de-bo-ch. Here we go. Bo-ch-de-bo-ch. I'll be right, here we go.

Bo-ch-de-bo-ch. Hey. Southern smoke. Bo-ch-de-bo-ch. Southern smoke, baby., southern smoke baby. Puch, puch, frank, puch, my man Nicholas. Puch, puch, ho, it's Drake. Puch, puch, southern smoke.

This is the remix ear, hey. Puch, yo, so, so if you got some, put your hands in the air, southern smoke. Is that what Drake sounds like? That was so accurate. You do your impression to Drake. Does he sound like, I don't, I mean, does he sound like, like, like, like, he got like, streetin' his voice? Like he's like, oh, son of a smoke son.

You've never heard him? I've never heard a fucking Drake song in my life. I've never heard, you have you heard a Drake sing a Drake song? You don't know one. I know he's super famous. I just know I'm not really certain for what? It's a lot of songs. For real, exact songs that you hear like Cardi B.

I don't know Cardi B. But you know, like you hear a song and then your kid will be like, go dad, that's Cardi B. Yeah, same. Same into a greater extent. For real? Definitely. Really, he's got a lot of hit songs.

Lots. Okay, so let's do this. Let's do this. Hit songs, let's got a lot of hit songs lots tape okay so let's do this let's do this hit songs just pull one of its hit songs that we've never heard and let's sing it and we'll have you Southern young black okay you definitely heard hot blind yeah you've heard that never heard hotline bling I've never heard hold on we're going home God's I've never hold hold on we're going home That's not how it goes, but that pulled up pulled up. I'll sing it for you I've never heard Marvin's room that looks like a movie that some kid that's some blind

Star from the bottom now we heard that started from the bottom now at the top. No, but that's Hold on we're going home. Okay, this is a very popular song. Oh a Oh A a a am I being racist towards Canadians? No, oh, oh, a, a, a, a, a, Am I being racist towards Canadians? No, no, no, it's good. Keep going. I got my eyes on you. Okay.

Everything is okay. I got my eyes on you. Yeah, yeah. Do it. I got my eyes on you. Everything is okay. Okay, here we go. All right.

I got my eyes on you. You're everything that I see. I want your hot love and emotion. And let's see. I can't get over you. You left your mark on me. I want your hot love and emotion and Leslie. Because you're a good girl and you know it. You act so different around me. Because you're a good girl and you know it. I know exactly who you could be. Just hold on, we're going home.

Just hold on, we're going home. It's too hard to do these things alone. Just hold on, we're going home. I got my eyes on you. You do the second lyric. I want you to hold your heart. I want you to hold your heart. I want you to hold your heart. I want you to hold your heart. I Got my eyes on you

I want a hot love and a love emotion And let's leave You left your Where I want your hot love and emotion And let's see You actually different around me cuz I'm gonna pass out he ends this on with cuz oh no it keeps going. Yeah, I think we're probably good on that Song you now you nailed it

Poppa song. I know pull up the one pull up like the most famous that's not a famous song you said you know So I have a best I ever had you know that song. I never heard it. Okay By the way, I want people to be honest if they've ever heard it too Wait, you said you want to pull up a song you do know I did but like that you go back to that list again You've definitely heard this okay, you don't know passion fruit I've never done the motto. You know the model. That's with Lil Wayne. Nope. How about you said you know He was famous in 2012. Oh, he's five best ever has an oh nine. Um, that was huge man. Best ever had. Yes. He's had the one I just sang on. I hold it. Hold on. We're going home. Hold on. We're going home, which is probably I think

year before or year after hotel hotline bling must be the number one song ever. It's a big one. But no, you said you know that you knew started from the bottom. Where's that one? Jump man? No, right there. Third row, top. Started from the bottom.

Now, okay, I do that. I can do that. Yeah, pull it up. You know that song though? I know, I've heard people say that. Well, okay, that's different. Oh. I can pray, I can pray much.

By the way, I think I can probably, because these songs all kinda write themselves. Yeah, and the thing is, you figured that last one out, well. Really? It sounded a lot like- Have we heard that song before? I've heard all these songs. You've heard all these songs.

All these songs. Okay. Definitely. Starting from the bottom, now we're here. Starting from the bottom, now we're a whole fucking team here. Starting from the bottom, now we're here here started from the bottom now we're here Started from the bottom now my whole fucking okay I'm definitely not singing that word why it's a song you gotta do the song okay

Can he say it he's from Canada. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine. He's a lot of say that's permission for you. Okay, he's Canadian Let's go for it. No, I'm not gonna say the end word. It's Canadian. Uh, I should go for it. No, I'm not going to say the end word. It's in a song. No, I'll say a different word. You bleep it. Like I said, the end word. Okay. We're all say the end word. Just bleep it. Okay. Promise you'll bleep it. Yes. No, you got it. No, I'm not. I'm not gonna sound all weird now. Is that all weird? It's gonna sound all weird. Just sing it. Don't say it.

There's a lot of Edward's in this song. Just sing it. Don't say it. There's a lot. I done kept it real from the jump. Living at my mom's house, we'd argue every month. Tom, I was trying to think alone. Working all night, traffic all the way home.

And my uncle's calling me like, where you at? I gave him the keys told you bring it right back Tom I think it's how funny how it goes now. I'm on the road have a million shows and we started from the bottom Now we're here started from the bottom now my whole team fucking here started from the bottom now We're here started from the bottom now my whole team started fucking here Tom Okay, I think I think you definitely, yeah, you did a good job. Boy, it's telling stories about man. Say I never struggled, was hungry, yeah, I doubt it.

I think the audience just got a, they're full, they're filled with Drake songs now. Do I like it? Yeah, by the way, how hard it's so easy to write lyrics like that. Do write some more right now. It's super easy stuff. I'm definitely, I'm gonna do a Drake freestyle. Can you give them another beat?

Cause your freestyle is what was blowing everybody away last week. I'm gonna do a free, put up that song to those lyrics, right? And I will freestyle match that so that you can plug it in, just start it from the top. Now we're here, okay? Start it from the top, now we're here. Yeah, yes, and I'm gonna go, I'm gonna start it from the top now we're here okay start from the top now we're here yeah yes and I'm gonna go I'm gonna start it from Florida now I'm here and I'll write my lyrics to that song okay so pull up the

lyrics so I can just match it oh I got like it's oh yeah yeah I got what you're saying start it from the bottom now we're here right now start from the middle now I'm just a little bit higher start it from the middle now. I'm just a little bit higher. Start from the middle now. My whole family is a little bit higher. Um, okay. So are we waiting on a beat? Or is the beat gonna play? Okay. Uh uh uh. Southern Smoke.

Southern Smoke. Yo. Southern Smoke. Yeah, yeah. Starting in Tampa now I'm here. Starting in Tampa now I'm a whole team's fucking here. Starting from Tampa. Is this the actual beat to the song?

Sounds like it. Yeah, wait, where are you going? Okay. Here we go. Huh, huh, yeah. I don't like keeping it real. Lift up my mom's dad's house until I didn't. Okay, I'm not really gonna be able to do this.

Okay, okay. It's gonna be a hard one. It's gonna be a hard one. Was that one that Shema said? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, Kwa, could you just freestyle off the dome? Yeah, no, no, that skill.

That's very, it's a... How about put one of your bits to work to the song? Put one of my bits to song. What do you mean? Yeah, let's do a song. Let's do, you ready for this? This is gonna be a fun game. Give us a beat and you gotta do one of your song.

One of your bits, an older bit, but to to the beat okay, I don't get it still okay play when I'll do it Give me a beat Yeah, uh-huh You know what cops hate When you touch the mother fucking faces Got pulled over the other night real close cop walking up looking at my nose. He said son, roll down your window. You know I pulled you over I said hey man, do I look like a dog? Is my name rover? He leaned in close and said license registration. I said you talking the wrong

motherfucker masturbation. That's my middle name. That's all I like to do then I touch his face real talk and smooth. He didn't move his fucking mouth He just there riding me when That's when I put my foot for the metal and hit the floor and I took off going as a man 84 I hit the interstate go it like this. I should know Yeah, you know what that was actually your best work That really was by the way I wish that it was you were being honest because I feel so creative in the moment No, that was I feel so creative in the moment you should that was creator. Give me another beat. I'm gonna do I'm gonna sing the machine song

I'm just I'm trying to oh yeah You're not this one this one this one this one is reminds me a Drake those are the only two I have give me the other one I like the other one the the other one's a little more, yeah. So you're gonna do the machine song? I'm gonna, please not the whole thing, give us the previous version. No, no, give me the whole song. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Oh. Here we go. When I was 22, I got off off with the Russian Mafia, robbed a train.

That's not, okay, I lost, I'm already out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's figure this out. But you gotta appreciate that I'm trying. I think you are trying, and I think the game that you just put together, do your lyric, do like an old bit over a beat and try and make it a rap. I think it works if somebody can actually do it, you know?

If I could rap. Yeah, like there's hints of it being something in there. Ooh. Do you think we came up with a new contest for quarantine? Maybe a new show. Why don't you hit up your friend, the fucking hate your guts, the dance lady and say, what do you think of this idea? I like that.

You put your bits to beats. Yeah. That's the name of the show right there. Bits to beats. I just pitched that at 11, at one hour, 11 minutes and 11 seconds, bits to beats. Bits to beats, man. Bits to beats.

I love it. I love it. All right, next week we're gonna go back to that. I would never watch it, but it's funny. Next week, I'm gonna come back with one of my bits to beats. Bits to beats man. Bits to beats. I love it. I love it. I love it. Alright, next week I would never watch it, but it's funny. Next week I'm gonna come back with one of my Bits to beats. Okay. Oh, it's like, you know what it's like? It's like the fresh prince. How's it like the fresh prince? Because he would be like a parents just don't understand. Like it was always, it was all comedy. Like like a, okay.

Like it was like, sometimes I have to reach for what your thought is. Like I go away with it. Bits to beats, that's so fucking, I love it. Bits to beats. All right, tell me what joke you want me to work on that I'll work on for next week. I love this. Bits to beats because what the, my problem with freestyleing is everyone can see,

is I don't have an end to the beat. There's more than just that. There's more than that. There's other problems. Let's be honest about all the problems. Bits to beats. Yeah. I am going to work so hard on bits to beats.

What do you want to bet you give up immediately? I bet. I just got to go through all my old bits. Yeah. You know what I think? I'm trying to think of like, what's an old good story? Oh, you know what you want I liked liked what really funny story you probably forgot this one that when you had

Georgia as a baby you had a neighbor that was pounding on the The two gay guys. Yeah, it's a good one. Is that in a special? No, I never told that on special. It's really funny I remember that that was a special? No. I never told that on a special. It's really funny. I remember that. That was a, they were like, and you said, you better be teaching a horse how to say its name. You better be teaching a horse to tell you how old it is up there. Yeah, I was trying to remember that. I remember, that was a true story in the two,

those two gay guys, they were in a diff, it was, we had another gay guy in our building, and one of the guys that was in that apartment, we had another gay guy in our building, and one of the guys that was in that apartment, and the other gay guy in the building, the three of us got stuck in an elevator. Do you remember this story? The three of us got stuck in an elevator, and I said,

That one of those guys? One of those guys, and another gay guy that lived in our building, and myself got stuck in the elevator one time. And I said, it's too bad I'm here, huh? And they're like, what? And I go, you guys would be ripping the skins off each other's gauks and they're like that's not how it works. I was like well that's how I do it.

I wish I could go back to just how ignorant I used to be. Like just how like oblibeous. I said, hat wait, how informed do you find yourself? I am so informed. I'm super woke. You think so? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, like, like, Leanne said that she was, she was telling the girls they were part Native American the other day. I go, Hey, let's not say that.

She was like, what? We are. And I was like, not really. Wait, what he, who's part Native in America? Don't even get me started on this. Leanne believes that she had, Leanne believes she's part native American. That's why she has brown hair and I was like I know something tells me she has a different let's call her up real quick you call her. I'm not calling her Okay, oh, by the way

This has been a fight we've gotten into cuz I go stop saying we're native American. That's what got Elizabeth Warren Not elected to president is that she went out said I'm Native American Michael. Yeah. Yeah Hello, hi, Leanne. I'm on a podcast with your husband He says that you are don't put it like this. Don't put it like he says no the children into thinking their Navajo And like he said that He says the children into thinking their Navajo. And like he said that he said what are you? What are you? You guys are a rap a hoe or something?

What is it? He said that he's like, that's why she thinks that she's a brunette because her great-grandfather was sitting. Tell her to just tell her, let her say it, let her say it. Okay. He's so full of crap. Really? This is a new discovery for me. Tell me what what exactly No, I was I was being facetious, but what what exactly is going on with the ancestry and why is he so upset about it?

That would be the guy I know. I'll be the guy I have to. I don't ever do this, but I'm going to call you so you can do this. It makes no sense. So no. Hang up on her. Hang up on her. What are you saying? He's saying to hang up on you, and I will not hang up on you.

When I was saying to I was, I was asking me something about she has a, she, okay, Georgia, and I have a lot of freckles right yeah with faculty people right and she's not right yeah she has very tan in the summer just like my dad and I was saying you know by dad's dad was also very tan and way back long long long time ago I have a great great great grandmother who was full-blooded Cherokee on my Dad on my grandfather's side and on my other grandfather's side. I actually have photographs of her and My great great great great grandfather and I was like I think some of the genetics just keeps filtering down Yeah, everybody else's Irish everybody else's Irish and Irish people definitely, my dad had stick straight black hair, always not until he turned white, you know, it was always stick straight

and black. And he always said, really dark black eyes and really high cheekbones. And I went, those are physical attributes of Native American people. And you have that in your heritage as part of our heritage. It brought to me never to say that because Native Americans get offended by that. But I'm like, but I actually have photographs of them. Yeah, he actually, my family. He, he, he likened you to Elizabeth Warren and, no, I, yeah, he said, did that to me too and I was like, what, what?

I'm, whoa, I'm, whoa. He's actually was like, I guess I married a Pocahontas over. He was doing all those, you know, comments. No, I love one time, I married a polka harness over it. He was doing all those you know No, I love one time I love one time was giving us bread and she was doing it like a dealer She was like and place your bets. Mm-hmm. We're like, what are you working at casino? She was like Let's try to make a native American joke and it failed Yeah, I know I think I just was the racist one in this racist tirade Clip that out guys Hey

I think that's something to be proud of Yeah, I guess you need to brag about it right also the reality is real it is what it is right? So if that's your genetic makeup that's what it is and There is I didn't make that up. No, I know I'm saying like it's your genetic makeup, that's what it is. And there's- It is, I didn't make that up. No, I know, I'm saying like it's your genetic makeup and I just don't know why he's not proud instead of being, like why is he being so reluctant to embrace him? I think it's awesome, babe. I love you so much.

I'll talk to you later. Hahaha. Oh, good to know. That's a jerk. He's so hard to live with. Oh, believe me. I think the world that knows him agrees. Hahaha. You're a saintly aunt. Thank you. All right. I'm going to live with it. Oh, believe me. I think the world that knows him agrees.

You're a saintly and thank you. All right. Talk to you later. I mean, oh, no, no, no, no, no, bye bye. She didn't tell me all that. That was great. How's this been for you and push? Have you guys been getting closer during this?

Yes. Really? Yeah, it made me realize, God damn we are. I mean, like you, I'm on the road a lot. She goes on the road. So we're just like together and it's been good, man. I really have to. Do you ever think like, I thought,

and I know there's people watching this feeling the exact opposite. I go, thank God I'm married, Leanne. Like I get along with her. She makes me laugh. Like I get along with her. Yeah. She makes me laugh. Like I'm having a blast married to this woman as opposed to like I can't imagine. Oh, yeah.

I've heard a lot of people say that I think there's gonna be a big spike in divorces after this. A hundred percent. Yeah. And a lot of babies. Yeah. What? They said take a shot. One hundred percent.

One hundred percent. One hundred percent. One hundred percent. I say that a lot. Yeah. That a lot. Lug shit. No, but it does make you appreciate when you're in a good relationship. Oh, I say legit too a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It does make you appreciate it. I think like, I've totally lucked out because I've been home with my wife and two little kids. And it's, I mean, you know, you go crazy with little ones, obviously, you know? Yeah. So there's moments where you're like,

what the fuck, man? They're going, you know, they're breaking shit, throwing things all over the house. But ultimately, it's been thus far a really great time together. What's the end of your day look like? Like, like, our end of the day is the same. Leanne will walk into the,

is this one of those drinking things where I ask you a question and then answer it? Maybe. Lionel walk back to the man came and go, what do you want to make for dinner? And then that starts the end of the day. We do like a blue apron and then, and then I'll go into watch a movie.

And we go to sleep around 10, 30. What's the end of your day look like? It's similar. The chef will come back and he'll say, like, I'm making this, it's like a six-course meal, and I hope you like it. And, no, we'll have a dinner plan. We feed the boys right around five.

Oh, you have to feed the boys separately. Well, sometimes we eat at that time, but sometimes you're like, I'm going to eat in an hour or two or some things because it's so early, but they have their dinner. We do baths, and then we usually each take one kid after the bath. She'll take the Julie and the younger kid,

I'll take Ellis, and then you do PJs, and then they fuck around for a while. And then, Oh, I miss those days. It's really fun. Run around in your room. Yeah, and they do naked baby run around, and they just tear up the

Tears shit up like get it out of their system younger one stood in my bedroom and just pissed and looked at me and he was like I'm video of I love one time. I go baby. What are you doing? And I just she goes nothing and she's sitting behind my My treadmill and I couldn't stop laughing Yeah, they're maniacs. And then, yeah, we put, I always feel like the clock, you see the countdown clock. When five comes, we're having dinner, I'm like, all right, in two hours, it'll be time to breathe. Yeah.

Because yeah, it goes dinner, bath, get them dressed, put them, you know, put them down, read the books. And so when I finally put Ellison, and he's like, he knows games now, like psychological things. So he's like, he'll go like, I'm hungry, I'm like, no, you're not. So I'm falling for it. He's like, I'm really hungry.

My stomach's making noise. I'm like, shut up. Do you just had dinner? Because a couple times he got me and I went and got him like crackers. And I'm like, shut up. Do you just had dinner? Because a couple times he got me and I went and got him like crackers and I'm like, here you go. He's like, my stomach hurts. I'm so full. Like, because you're not hungry, dude. So, but he's just trying to extend the night because you know, little kids just want to extend the night. Another feeling? Yeah, he's doing that my whole fucking life.

He's just like, can I see something on your phone? He's just playing all these fucking games. But when I finally get him, what was it like the first time you did Conan? No, then I, there's that feeling of him being like, I go good night, I love you, I give my kiss, and then when I walk at it his room, and I'm walking down the hall towards my room, it's like, I'm glowing, I'm like, I'm gonna lay down, watch TV right now. You guys watch TV in bed? Yeah. Oh, for real? Liam won't do that. Why? She won't watch TV in bed. She says it's a bad place to have your TV.

I know a lot of people that think that. I think they're stupid. I think she's stupid. I think she's hardcore stupid. She won't, she goes, I don't wanna associate my bed with watching TV. When I met her, she didn't even have a TV in her bedroom. And I was like, I feel like telling most people like that,

like what the fuck is wrong with you? When I met her, she didn't have a TV in her bedroom and I feel like telling most people like that, like what the fuck is wrong with you? When I met her, she didn't have a TV in her bedroom and I was like, how much does this check fuck? Well, there's people that think that like the bedroom is for sleeping and fucking, that's it. And nothing else should happen there. I mean, I don't know. I like having, you know, TVs in a bunch of rooms.

Ooh, it's my aunt's birthday, I got a collar. The, whoop. The, whoop. I don't even realize I'd do it. Yeah. So wait, so then you guys, what, get in bed, what are you guys watching?

We've been watching before the 90 days obsessed with that. Before the 90? Oh, yeah. 90 days, yeah. That's it. But before the, their series is called, they have a separate series called Before the 90 days, where the Americans go abroad to meet for the first time the person they've been dating online. It's fascinating.

It's just a fun, ridiculous show, TLC show, you know. Would you be considered doing a mystery science 3000 for behind the 30 day or Bob for mystery science? for Mr. Fjall. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Just go ahead and tip the whole bottle back. You know what I'm saying? Yes, I would. Really? Yeah, yeah. I am so fascinated.

I'm fascinated by human beings, human behavior. And, you know, I get it like everybody wants love. And that's kind of the origin of why this takes place. Everyone wants companionship. But to watch the way people behave to get it is it's possible. It's not, but they're not getting love, right? No, they're just, they want, but they want it.

I thought everyone said, I thought in every relationship, one's a scammer and one's a sucker. There's, it's not in every, that is definitely a, a through line in this, in the series that you that you keep running into. That's a scammer for sure. It's a sucker. Yes, but not in every single case. What I'm saying is that exists.

There also exists the person, the sucker who's just truly once loved. There's also the guy who's just 60 and he's like, there's a 22 year old girl in the Ukraine that wants to love me and you're like, okay, like he's just on a fuck mission, you know, and yeah, so that scam thing exists. But I don't know, at the same time, you realize some of them really, really want companionship.

So what is it about the show that you loved? Is that the one my buddy produces? I don't know. Hey, will you see who produces 90 day fiance? I don't know. We can get the executive producer on the phone right now. Really? Yeah. Oh, shit!

I'm calling him right now. You ready? Your friend makes this? Yeah, my friend's show. Oh my god. You ready? Yeah. Dan Adler.

Alright. We're getting the executive producer of 90 Day Fionsay on the phone. By the way, everyone answers the phone in the quarantine, huh? They do. They're like, please talk to me. Please. I'm done with you. You just to go?

What, you want to talk a little longer? My dad just did it to me. Really? I was like, I got it. He's like, alright, he's coming back. I think he's just- I do my dad answers the phone immediately, except for Dan Adler. What the fuck? Where's Adler?

He's a guy who created birth conqueror and members food. He did yeah, this shows amazing Your call has been forwarded to an automated you can hang up probably nope Please record your message when you finish recording you may hang up or press one for more options. Damn, it's Bert. I'm sitting with Tom Sager, we're talking about 98, tonight. We're talking about one of your shows. Give me a call. He created what shows for you?

Bert Conquer. He created Bert Conker. Yeah, hang on what's this? We're talking 90 day fiance on two bears one cave. Is he texting you? Yeah. Um, what's he doing? I, I think he's probably late there.

It's, where is he? Seven New York. That's not late. He's probably, it's probably with his family. Oh, that's fine. Yeah, he's gonna call. Okay. Um, he, uh, he's gonna call okay. Um He

He created birth conquer he created man versus food too. He's created a lot of shows Is that Adam show? Yeah, yeah his biggest one the biggest show we ever created was called pumpkin chunk What type in pumpkin pumpkin chunk in pumpkin chunk in wait, you're saying different words Pumpkin punk just type in pumpkin. pumpkin. But what's a pumpkin? Pumpkin, a pumpkin. But why are you saying pumpkin and pumpkin? Pumpkin, pumpkin. Pumpkin, pumpkin?

There you go, pumpkin, pumpkin. That's what it's called. That's the biggest show he's ever created. Do this show is fucking massive. What are you talking about? Every show, do you ever been pumpkin, pumpkin? No. It's so fucking crazy.

Go to pumpkin, pumpkin world No. It's so fucking crazy. Go to pumpkin chunking world championships. They shoot pumpkins. Wait, pumpkins? Pumpkins. A pumpkin. Is that how you say it? He makes that big.

Look at this. All right. I went to one of these. Well, describe what we're seeing. It is a catapult. Is it a catapult? Yeah. And they throw these pumpkins like miles in the air.

Really? And it's fucking so insane. Damn, that thing is, that's quite a contraption. Dude, and they do this, I think they do it in Colorado. And they, every year around Thanksgiving, they do this huge whole footage. Could there be worse footage to show you what's going on? A trebleshay.

A trebleshay? Trebleshay? A trebleshade trebleshade? Is that how you say trebleshade? Look at this and the pumpkin just goes miles, but why don't they? They don't like so I was with the one we did we were terrible footage. They're such assholes. They're not showing. Go to the next one where they... There has to be great accident footage from this. So we were doing one one time. Like where the pumpkin goes straight up someone's assholes. We went to do it one time with them in Colorado and do not type in pumpkin accent.

Yes, you should. Oh my God. There's a few results by the way and we're watching all of them. Don't even think we're wrapping this up. So. Okay. We were at one of them one time and it shot the pumpkin and it but it shot it straight up in the air and everyone's like, ah, and you're like, oh,

fuck, there's no saving yourself. If this fucking goes sideways, there's no saving. Just scoot forward for the accident. This always gives me anxiety. Well, you see the helmets run. There you go. Let's see what the accident is. Is this thing gonna fire?

Oh, he's like, I think you gotta pull this. I can't watch this. I can't watch it. Arm goes off. Oh my God. Well, that one, I'm not sure what the accident is. I'd by the way, I don't know, there's like legit ones. This, the pumpkin chunking is...

One critical. Why are we watching this? This is not what you need to see before you go to bed. Pumpkin chunking. Pumpkin accidents. Oh, and of course they don't show us what it is. Well, they're gonna show you on the news. They cut to her.

I saw a pumpkin chunk in event canceled. I just saw that on the... Dude, I bet they don't do it anymore. They've had a few accidents that have been pretty bad. Really? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dan can tell you about that. He produced the show.

Oh, there you go. That's gonna... But yeah, they would send these out in the fucking air. And you just, it's such an insane experience because all of a sudden there is like tons of energy. Okay, there we go. Taking off. Yeah.

These are like air cannons. The treble shades are ones that where it's like, all of a sudden you hear, whew, holy shit. Did you see the fucking footage on Pat McAfee's Instagram today? No. The treble shades are ones that his house and then all the sudden he's like oh fuck and he realizes it's a tornado dude put the sound up yeah this is insane Tom he's joking around right now yeah I think great. You can tell it's a dark, kind of scary setting, right? There's lightning striking. You see the lightning peeking through the trees?

Uh-oh. Oh, he doesn't know what it is. He doesn't realize it's a tornado coming to him. Whoa, it's fucking spooky, man. Yeah, and then look it starts the lightning starts picking up and you hear the fucking wind. Let's call Pat McAfee He posted that today. Yeah, he posted that last night. That's the tornado came last night.

And this is him and look at it. You should see all the hell. God, why is no one answering my fucking calls? Yeah, it's kind of scary, man. All right, let's see if we can get Pat McAfee on the phone. Yeah, look at all the little bit of hell I say a little bit Let me get a hit Pat McAfee you're on the phone with me and Thompson girl on our podcast two bears one cave. What's up, Pat? What a fucking honor Tom how's it going? I enjoyed ball hog bird obviously your legend great to be here the last time I Podcasted with Tom Sagora. He said I was gonna be on his big show. It was a show that didn't even get released

Are you safe now? Are you in a good place? Are you in a good place? I'm currently at my house right now. Yes, sit on my couch. Everything's good. What's up? Tell me about the tornado Yeah, we were watching the footage man Dude, I've never experienced something like this before bird. I've never at my first weekend in Indiana Immediately after getting drafted you have like a rookie camp where you fly out the next week We say my hotel everybody's in a hotel That first weekend, I was in my room. It was probably like 10 at night or something like that. We get a call from the front desk, you know, like, did you hear that siren? And I had heard it, but I thought it was like a fire drill. It was a tornado sign. They're like, you have to come down to the lobby. So, I go down to the lobby. Everybody in the hotel is in a lobby. And when I was growing up in Pittsburgh, if the tornado drove,

as you go out and sit in the hallway, like you sit down, you'd like, sit Native American style in the hallway, and the, in the, in the blockers would, you know, you're not supposed to be around Windows.

This fucking lobby was just all Windows. It didn't make any sense to me, but the Doppler, the Purple never hit where we were at. Yeah. Last night was my first time in the to me but the Doppler the purple never hit where we were at yeah last night was my first time in the purple section of the Doppler let me tell you it was fucking wow I thought I was in a movie twist or there for like you lost some trees I didn't know cows are flying but all the animals in my house it was fucking wild where did you go Pat where did you go because did you have like a bunker or a basement to go to no seems like I should get one of those escape bunkers though that after what happened last

night yeah I would say so I went out of the basement okay yeah that's what I just said that was probably the right move but I have some friends out here that were there like the third fourth floor of a fucking a cop apartment complex. What are they just dead? Is that how that works? They probably are, man. That video of you in your backyard, and I knew, and my head, I was like, that lightning means there's a tornado coming. And when the wind picks up and you stop singing, you go, oh, shit. Yeah, that was.

Yeah. It's a real moment I had. You kind of you kind of shift it out of that Phil Collins pretty quickly you know you were you were hitting it but you stopped every every fucking NFL stadium for a night game the home team always plays the I can feel it Yeah Because all their fans are like yeah we can feel it Yeah we can feel it Yeah we're gonna fuck beat the cops

Or like yeah Like every home team does it So I've heard that Phil Collins song No last time Can I ask you something? What? Music wise in the locker room Did you guys take turns or was there always like a dominant music?

You know what I mean playing like did Peyton go guys fucking Clint black That's what I'm into or what or how did who chose what played in the locker room? Okay, so that was a big deal back in the day So when I got drafted 2009 that was before social media really was taking off you know It was like the last couple of years before Twitter controlled everything. And the OGs in the locker room,

that there was normally only one speaker in the locker room. Somebody would come in and they would have the back in the day, you know how the trunks of cars used to have boom booms, and they're like 2, 12s or whatever. One person in the locker room would have a massive speaker, and they would be given like the free reign to play whatever music they want. So it would be maybe Reggie would have it for one season and it'd be a lot of you know rap but every once or a while there's white boy Wednesday,

you know white boy Wednesdays that deal in the locker room because in older white will then get in charge and there's country where I're all getting, you know, everything. Can I make a guess here? Is Jeff Saturday not in the hip hop? I don't recall Jeff Saturday. To be honest, that was like seven years, eight years ago. And I've smoked so much vitamin since then. I think Jeff Saturday was pretty open minded.

I think he was pretty open minded. But as the years went on, you know, it started to just become a little bit out of control. There was like competing speakers in a locker room. You walk through one section, like the boss is fucking selling drugs. And then you go two lockers down, and you got fucking Toby Keith singing about America.

And then you go three lockers down. And you got two chain selling drugs and playing basketball. It just, it became a bit of a conflict of interest in a lock room. Here's one. Wait, is that your flea market? Pat. Yeah.

One of the reasons I retired, I just couldn't talk. I didn't want to the reasons. Wait, so the one music thing I realized, who I, there's no hint to the general public of what this guy would listen to I have Absolutely no guests and aside from classical music something weird. What did Marvin Harrison listen to? I was not okay, so I could probably put a guess out there, but I was not in the locker room with Marvin. He retired I think the year before I got there.

Oh, God damn it. I bet him though. By the way, I met him a few times. And he was very, very nice to me, very, very nice to me. And that's great news, by the way. He's very, very nice to me. He was nice to everybody. But I would assume he fucks with the Philly rappers

if I had to get out. Because I think he's a king of their Philadelphia very nice man Great a football. Great a football something in those eyes those man something in those eyes How are you guys not best friends? What's that? How are you guys not best friends Pat never fucking Hey, Pat who are you closer with me or Tom and he won't reach out to me. He won't have me on He no, it's it's fucking ridiculous. Oh good good good. Burn him. Be honest. I love you, man. This Tom died, you know, he's just, Tom is just, he had me on that. You've got to remember, he had, I felt like it was such an honor because I was a fan. I was

going on a show. I'm like, yeah, here we go. I'm getting a chance to talk to a legend in this thing. I do his whole entire interview. We talked about being in the shower and the NFL. Like a lot of stuff. I felt good. It was pretty good. And then I never seemed to like the day. Nobody ever heard it. Is this your football show? Yeah, it did come out. It just it came out on a on a different feed. Oh, hey, I'll never reach out to me ever again. I never heard from the guy. I am a master. I was heart broken. I was heart broken. Hey He's more of an a j hot kind of guy Hey Pat what's your favorite Drake song?

Oh, you know back in it. Let me get the name of it. Oh, you don't know it, you don't know it, right? No, I just want to make sure it's the right name, hold on. I didn't know, I was trying to think of Drake songs, I'd never heard a one. The wrong, I don't know. He got rich, he got big the same time, I got money for the first time in my life. So I felt like he was potentially speaking for me just at a 2000 times X what I was. Yeah. That first that first mixtape that he put out I was a big fan of before he started at the bottom. Now we're here. Wait. Now Pat, Pat, can we be friends or what, man? What's that? Can we be friends? I would love to, like honestly, it'd be pretty cool to say Tom scores friend of mine. Alright, let's start, let's start a chat thread. Me, you, Tom, and

AJ Hawk. I am pumped for that group that's changed. Let's do it all right, all racial memes, okay? That's how we got to get it started.. Okay. I'm starting now. I'm starting now. I love you. Stay safe man. Hey, I love you guys too. Have a good one. Thanks for the call. Tom can't wait to be friends. Alright man. Take care Pat. He's fucking great. He is great. Oh, it's so improbable that it worked out for him. It's amazing. Yeah. Like, he was, you know, he was like legit, an amazing punter. And when he, when he was like, I'm retiring to get into like broadcast, I was like, this guy's fucking crazy, you know? And it has gone in the best direction. He's a natural. He's a natural.

He really is. I'm very, did that funny, like a bit for his announcing his retirement where he had a press conference, but it was like a sketch. Oh, I never saw that. It's fantastic. And I was like, you know,

the sky's really funny, but I just thought it was crazy that you were gonna retire. As a punter, I always imagine as a punter, you want to- Yes, like, fucking kick the ball on fourth hand. Yeah, why did he retire? Was it- I think he started to have knee problems. Oh, yeah So, you know, like you have to be able to have like obviously an explosive leg

Exposivity. Yep, and I think that's what you have 100% yeah, and I think if we were to maybe go to Indiana at some point And do like maybe a punting clinic. You're obviously I think a natural, you know, I've done pop kick to this compound. No, but you know what he does he does so well is that he's funny, but he also knows that like you ask him a question like the locker room. There's so many people he would ask that too and they'd be like, Oh, no, I mean, some guys like rap, some guys don't. You're like, All right, man, good talk like who know how to talk to people. Yes, so he knows that like what's, that you know, it's the most popular sport in America.

We all want to know all these little details. He knows that. He knows how to access that and make it in a way that, I just explained that to the Antony where I was like, I did a podcast with someone I was telling you about earlier, where I'd ask them the question and they would give me almost a little bit less than the answer I was looking for. And I was like, okay, and then I'd have to ask another question. So it was just me asking a series of questions as opposed to, I feel like the, I feel like

the, like, I know it's annoying, but like I will give you the answer that I might pivot and give you a story and then give you another answer to a question you might not ask, but I'm hoping that in all of that in an interview, someone hears that and then goes, oh, this is interesting, let's go there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he does that great. He really does do it great, man. Yeah, it's like sometimes we get asked things

in like about standup and I always try to, I always try to take the question genuinely and give them like the real, and then sometimes people ask that and they're like, oh, I was just thinking you were gonna give me a joke answer. I'm like, oh, I fucking thought you wanted to know. You kinda ask me a question, I can do the answer, right? I can do the answer, right?

Someone did an interview today the other day, I do those call-ins at like five in the morning, till 10, I've been doing them a lot lately. By the way, I actually hook you up with who I'm doing them with, because the ones that they have them set up, they're 30 minutes, 30 minute chunks chunks and they're fucking fun. Really? I did one in Tulsa, Oklahoma

I wish I could remember the name of the station right now. I remember his Tulsa, Oklahoma And it was a fucking 40 minute interview and I it was so much fucking fun You just says 30 minutes and then 40 minutes that one was 40 went over but um But I forget what I was gonna say. Oh, but that's, I forgot what I was gonna say. That sounds like a perfect ending. All right, thank you guys for listening. Watching, I got an update on the hat. I got an update on the hat.

Okay. I get asked about this hat more than I've been asked about anything, like any piece of merchandise ever. They moved up the production to May. So we're gonna have them made and shipped in May. That's all I got. And they're coming out of Wuhan, China, so there should be clean.

They're clean, because they spray them with lice off. How about back going, we asked this to sit Native American style. I think that makes it worse. That he is woke. Uh, Dan Adler. Okay. You ready?

Yeah. Dan Adler is Bert Christ. You're on the phone with me and Tom's who grew on our podcast, Do Bears One, gave. Oh Jesus Bert. Tom is a girl on our podcast do bears one gave Tom is a huge fan of 50 day fiance Dan you only watch this half of the show hang on I'm gonna pass you over to Tom okay Dan Dan how are you I'm doing very well nice to talk to you too. I'm such a such we are obsessed with

every spin-off and all of these amazing people that you find for this show currently Really really deep into before the 90 days the current season Oh, yeah, it's a good one. There's a lot to unpack there man Yeah, this is one of our better cast is okay is the does Larry live in assisted living or is he doing this all on his own? Wait, Larry from which season? Isn't he the name of the guy in Vegas who going to the Ukraine? David. Oh, you're right. does David have somebody feed him or is this all on his own

he put me in such a spot but he knows he's doing it too he knows he's doing it today hey I gotta show to pet you you did this for the audition for birthday conquer is this second time he's done this today what is going on with David man watch the whole season now? I can tell you watch the whole season fucking diplomatic answer Dan Where he talks about the axon because we had to clear and I actually thought about what I was watching that clip I watched it as somebody who has some production experience. I was like, oh, he had a license this for sure. This is a whole custom conversation.

The whole conversation. Big Ed is obviously beloved by everybody. I actually thought the first time I saw him, I thought when he said that he hadn't been with a woman in 28 days, that his shoulders were up from like pent up orgasm. You know, that he just had so much common as shoulders and that he needed to let it out but then I learned it's a natural old genetic thing.

Yeah, that has pert even seen what he looks like. I don't I think didn't you see the Mayo in the hair? Oh, yeah, that's big. Oh, yeah, yeah, you mean I don't know guy. Yeah. You mean the, I don't know guy. Yeah, he's like, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. He is, he is adorable.

But I just, we were actually talking about it on my other podcast the other day. And we, we were talking about, what is it, Jeffrey and Varna. Yeah. Yeah. And we were just talking about them, pulled it up. And I saw that Jeffrey got arrested,

sent my recently, actually. And this stuff for sure, I can't talk about it. No, I just, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's but it was just it was funny because he was like you like I tell about my past and we're like fucking January That's not really your past Hey, you know what I did last month. Oh god. I got a couple felonies on a Thursday Okay, if you watch to the end you'll see some of the okay the timeline issues there for sure I know see some of the okay the timeline issues there for sure Yeah, it's it's a great show man. We're we really are so into it and TLC I love that man. I love that you're a big fan of the show and big fan of yours. Oh, thanks so much I'll pass you a party. I got this show. Here's the show. I want to pitch you okay?

Everyone's looking for content and we want content based on old material What if Tom me and his wife push, watch 90 day fiance together and they introduced me to the show. And so it's almost like they're like, they're fans of the show. So they're telling me what to pay attention to, but I get to ask questions. Yeah. So let me, let me, I think it's a great idea. We have a series of times's probably familiar with called pillow talk

Which is like our version of goggle box or people's couch where old cast members watch the show. Oh On Sundays, there's been a couple instances where you've had celebrities be a role on that So let me talk to TLC and see if we could do something. Oh, just get Tom on just get Tom. He would he would love to do it I would love to do it. I Would I bet they be down for that. Oh, yeah Christina, I would love to do it from their house. They have all the recording equipment. It'll sound and look professional. That would be awesome From their house. Yeah, well if you have any ideas to pitch me and Tom we're looking for shows that we can shoot out of our Oh, by the way wait, Dan Has anybody told Soja Boy that Soja Boy's pretty big here? When he's like, I'm gonna take over the rap game in the States where like,

Hey, there's a Soja Boy's kind of done a thing already. He's not aware at all. Oh good. It's the best. It's the best is when baby love gets off the plane and his, him and his friends are like, yo, Maristamik is big dog. I know, I know. That's the world we're in, I know.

It's very hot right now because Kristi Tegan changed her profile page to be her assistant Kristi Tegan loves her love who Lisa is very happy loves Lisa Lisa. Okay On Christian Tegan's like handle now whatever it is for Instagram. It's it's Lisa baby baby girl Lisa's personal assistant. So Lisa's pretty happy right now. That's awesome. Okay. Yeah. She's She's a lot a lot to A lot a lot a lot Yes, I'm gonna leave it there and there's a lot there's a lot more to come We'll appreciate a lot of it. So wait at the end when the season's over will you come be a get like will you be a guest on the show and

I would probably just face in the nature of what I do and the people I answer to have to run that up the flag. Okay. Okay. A bit of a further moment thing that put me on but I would love to have honored that I have to check it. Okay. The towers that be at Discovery. Just check now because we know that we want to do it. Okay. I will check it out. Start checking now Dan. All right. Thanks buddy. All right and Tom and I are looking for television products week projects we can

shoot out of our house or out of our studio. Yeah, I'm all for it. I'm bird. I was loving man. Yeah, I'll text you afterwards. Alright, I'll talk to you later. I love you, Dan. I can't talk. You love it, brother. Bye. He's great. He's a fucking... Okay, he's an interesting guy. Uh, thank you guys. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye.

Bye. Bird. Tom. Tom and Bird. One goes top and swall the other wears a shirt Time tells stories and birds the machine There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean Here's what we call Two bears one cave No scripts to bet a booze amateur for topology Dirty jokes, ranchy humor, no apologies Here's what we call Two bears one cave

Shots, ronti, hammer, no apologies Here's what we call Two bears, one cave