2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 59 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: December 7, 2020

Become a paid channel member of YMH to experience an AD-FREE version of the show here : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg/join SPONSORS: - You can try ShipStation FREE for 60 days when you use offer code CAVE at https://ShipStation.com - Go to https://Kamikoto.com/CAVE and use offer code CAVE for an extra $50 off - Get your first visit absolutely free at https://ForHims.com/bears - Go to https://Vuori.com/BEARS and get 20% off your first purchase plus free shipping on U.S. orders over $75 - Get 20% Off and Free Shipping at https://Manscaped.com/BEARS - Go to https://NoDaysWasted.co/BEARS and use code BEARS at checkout for 20% off and free shipping in the US. - Go to https://Whoop.com/bears to get your first month free - Go to https://Zendesk.com/bears and see for yourself why the best customer experiences are built with Zendesk. Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave by discussing Bert's new love of canned water and Tom's recent colonoscopy. They talk about Diego Maradona's passing and the resemblance he bore to Bert, how to get chloroform, Ari Shaffir's experience with salvia, and Bert's new tomahawks. The Bears take a look at abscess draining, fat deposit popping, and salivary stone removal videos, and wrap up by discussing their favorite life hacks.

And then she said, I'll do everything. I'll clean your teeth. I'll check for oral cancer. And I was like, I'm out. Oh, as soon as she said that. As soon as she said that I went, I was like, eh, I'd rather just find out I'm dead one day. Like, I just, that gives me anxiety.

And I, will you rather get hit by a bus? Then actually take care of the things that might be a bad result? That's a good question. 100% All right welcome to another two bears one cave bird you're gonna chug people are gonna be really surprised to find out that that isn't beer. By the way, I was in therapy. Yeah. I was drinking one of these and I'm putting them down like that and my therapist is like, holy shit, I go, oh, they're water. He's like, he's like, you're water

and I go, yeah, they're water. And he like, he was like, he was like, you're water and I go, yeah, they're water. And he was like, oh, that makes me feel a lot better about it. Yeah, so I can drink these so much, but you guys have always done this joke about the water champ, right? Right, right. And I just was like, I really was like, like, who's drinking water?

Do you remember, do you remember when we did the weight loss challenge? Yeah. There was a point, the last two to three weeks of it, because we had like a time period we were doing it, where I went to only water. I dropped coffee and I just did water only, dude. Like your skin changes.

Like my skin, like the tone and blemish, like any blend like goes away, you smooth out. It is it's wild to do only water Which I mean, you know not not everybody does that but I did it for a few weeks and you feel and look notably different It doesn't take that long to deal with like the withdrawals of other beverages really okay because I was having withdrawals last night. Yeah. Like I was having major, I thought I was having, that's normal. Like I was like, I was like, I was like, all of a sudden I felt like my head was heavy. Yeah. And I was like, I was like, Jesus Christ man.

And I actually wasn't gonna drink bottle of wine, but I opened a bottle of wine so I was like, I was having panic about it. Yeah. But I had so much water, I'd have like, I think almost two gallons of water that you've been crushing since you got here. And you said because they're in cans. I do, I cannot fuck with bottles.

Like those plastic bottles. Yeah, I cannot drink them. It's the same beverage. I know, but it's for whatever reason, the delivery system. I want to try it, because you walked in with this, and I definitely thought you were just coming

into binge drink today. So, I've been drinking, we had a parent teacher conference with one of my daughters. Teachers and I'm just murdering these at 10 in the morning. So what is this? Liquid death?

Liquid death, I don't know how I got involved with them. They sent some to our tour bus. I think they're... It actually says murder your thirst. I murder these fucking cans. I'm gonna try this, I'm the water champ liquid death. I'll tell you what I think. Here we go. Yeah, I'm the water champ liquid death, I'll tell you what I think. Here we go.

It's really, yeah, I mean it is just water. It goes down faster, right? I love this, this makes me so happy. Yeah, right? It does go down easier. It goes down so much easier than a bottle of water. Have you ever drank in a 16-ounce bottle of plastic bottle of water that fast? Never. It takes so long. That's really good. Yeah, it's great. And they have they have seltzer water, which is what I've been that's what I normally got turned on to. But these cans of water? Yeah.

Dude, I just can kill them. I don't even, it doesn't, I think it's strange. I know. And I'm telling you, man, I take a box of these out a day and I just drink them. You drink them. I go through them all day. Just to inform the audience, the kind of texts I get from you.

You hit me up and you go, I stopped drinking a gallon of coolate a day and started drinking just water over 160 ounces a day. I no longer have joint pain in my knees and shoulder and my blood pressure is next to perfect. My blood pressure, my blood pressure. It's like a foreigner who just lived like in Siberia was like, you are right, the water is good for you.

I'm, oh my God, I'm the guy from fucking that idiot nation movie with that, in theocracy, where I'm like, wait, the plants don't grow on our aid. Yeah. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've been having knee problems, right? Like, because I'm also running a thousand miles this year. How much, how much are you up to?

I'll tell you right now, I love this question. You gotta be in the home stretch. I should be. I, and I, I've been having knee pains, right? To stop running and I was like, fuck man, I may not, if my knee keeps up like this, I may not be able to see right now my heart rates 44. Yeah. That's really low and I think it's the water.

I think I live in a sense of dehydration. And when I start drinking water, my heart's like, I had a column ask of me yesterday and when they wheel me in the heart's like I had a columnoscopy yesterday and They wheel me in the room they hook me up to everything and the anesthesiologist goes whoa your heart rates 40 Right now and I go yeah, it always is and the other doctor goes You didn't know you're looking at a world-class premier athlete This is like As a joke. Yeah. And I go, yeah, I run marathons all the time.

And I say it like that. And the NSCZ all just goes, what? And I go, I'm joking. And I just turn my head. I just put me out, man. I wondered if, by the way, my favorite part of that that is I go were you conscious for it? You're like now they put you out. I can't imagine if they you had to do one awake No, no, it's the first question you ask you're like I'm out and they're like yeah, you can't do this

Do you feel it when you get done? You feel like someone fucked you in the ass and also they also fucked my throat And then the guy goes you know I fucked up and I put the thing in your ass and then I put it down your off fire. And then the guy goes, you know, I fucked up and I put the thing in your ass and then I put it down your mouth instead of doing it the other way. And I was like, what? So hold on. So wait, did you get nervous? See, I'm automatically.

A little bit. What happens is this is crazy. I've had two medical three technically procedures during the pandemic. Yeah. Because I had to bisect me a hernia operation. And so I was just in this type of setting like two months ago So I go in there and I was like, you know, the thing about a colonoscopy is the prep so you've had one, right?

I've never really definitely have one. You're 48. Yeah, you should definitely have one So you don't get need one until you're 50. They moved it up to 45. Okay That's that's what the American Medical Association recommends now So I had mine done because I'm like I have too much. I want to know if something's wrong like digestively My dad had digested problems. How far do they go up? I thought they just did your asshole They go into your colon and like into the like sort of a little bit of your small intestines. So They reading is back immediately. No, they said, it should be some pictures immediately and he goes, he goes,

everything looks normal, but I'll do some, you know, a bunch of biopsies from the top and the bottom and check everything. But the prep is obviously you fast for a day, which I feel like gave me some perspective actually. Fasting for a whole day,

I haven't fasted for a day and I don't know how long, but like I actually, it sounds weird, but I started to go like, man, I really appreciate the fact that I never't know how long. But like I actually, it sounds weird, but I started to go like, man, I really appreciate the fact that I never have to go hungry. I started thinking like that because I didn't, I only did was drink water and a little bit of, thank God, I read the fucking prep sheet last second. I was allowed to have gatorade, but only lemon lime because red or purple will look like

blood while they're doing the colonoscopy and they'll be like, this guy's dying of stomach cancer. So, so I- Why are you so responsible? Like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I have a tooth issue and I refuse to get it dealt with. Yeah. And I just, because, because the guy said, because my back teeth are really fucked up, or so one that I had to, I had problems with at the beginning of the pandemic, that's how long ago.

But I have problems with it eight months ago. I would just want to not suffer, don't you want to not suffer? No. No? Uh-uh. I want you to not suffer. The dentist said to me, he looked at my tooth and he goes, oh, this is bad.

And I went, I know it hurts a lot. And he's like, you're gonna need a root canal. And then when you come back, it's gonna be a long haul. He's like, we're gonna have to have a skin graft and take skin off of your... Jesus. Thank you. That's what I said. And so I was like, in my head, I was like,

oh, cool. I'll do everything with this. But you realize what'll happen is the things that he'll need to do will be more longer you put it off. Or, or you'll die. Before I need to get this done, and then I'm thinking about that. What if I just die?

What if I do some dangerous shit? That's a great way. And then on my death, but I go, at least I never had to get that skin graft. Yeah. I put back my cardiologist appointment because I was stressing me out. It was in a week of, it was in the week of,

I just got off tour, but I was going back on tour, and I had all this shit doing press for the cabin. And it was just stressing me out, and I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna put my cardiologist just appointment off into the middle of December when I can take a break and relax and focus on it. And then I'm glad you're doing that. And then, so yeah, so I have to get a CT scan and then,

but I feel very comfortable knowing I'm being preventative. Like that's the number one thing is be, get preventative. But like I would never just straight up, I'll do it right now. Let's do it right now. Do what? I'm gonna have Leanne get me a colonoscopy, can you? Yeah.

Do it. I think it's a good idea. I'moscopy, can you? Yeah. Do it. I think it's a good idea. I'm gonna do it and this may save my life. It could. We could actually have her send it to the same doctor and then compare our assholes or something. Ooh, what was your doctor's name? I'd probably just say it off the show.

Oh. Hi, babe. Hi, Leanne. This is Bortkreicher. I would like you to get me a colonoscopy. What? A colonoscopy? Yep. I would like you to get me a colon and ask it to be. Yeah, okay, please reach out to Tom and find out his doctor or reach out to our doctor and see if we can get one scheduled before the new years.

I will forget that because I'm about to walk into a podcast. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. We'll talk about it later. Okay. All right. Love you. Bye. Well, I'm off the hook into a podcast Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. We'll talk about later. Okay. All right. Love you by well I'm off the hook no problem. Oh my god That was a close call She almost did it. I'm irresponsible and that's all you got to do I'll text you guys together the same number and everything maybe I'll do all the things you did. I'm sure I got a hernia I'm certain there's a hernia under this fat fucking fucking... By the way, can I tell you something?

Yeah. Why don't we do, see it, for like, in a positive way, we have a busy month coming up January, let's do another weight loss challenge. I would love that. I would love that. I think you're the only person that can get me motivated enough. Can I tell you what my brain goes? This is how broken my thought process is.

What is it? You said in January, we should have waited a while, John, and said, oh, we are parting our balls off in December. We're going to gain so much weight in December. You want to do that? You want to do how fat can we get by two years? And then start. Oh, oh, challenge.

I can't, dude. I'm, I, I've been more active in the pandemic than I've been in 20 years, and I don't lose weight. I've been playing tennis two to three days a week. I lift weights three days a week. And I'm not losing, I'm not losing. I need to be days a week. I lift weights three days a week. And I just, I'm not losing, I'm not losing. I need to be like focused and do it. I'll tell you very honestly, I'll tell you my weight. I have been floating at 250, this whole fucking, I was two in my 240s on tour. And then when I got home, I go balloon up to 250.

And I could not, I can't get a hold of it. I can't get a hold of it to like every morning, I get up, I get on the toilet and I go, all right, today we're starting fresh. We're not gonna eat until noon. We're gonna eat clean, we're gonna eat lean, and we're not drinking tonight. And then what happens is I, like yesterday I said,

I go, I go, all right, I'm gonna have three eggs. So I made three eggs, I put some cheese in there, and then I got this old hot sauce, and I put it on there and I was like, oh yeah, I was like, and then I got this old hot sauce, and I put it on there, and I was like, oh yeah, I was like, and then all of a sudden, it's like my brain just starts, it really is what it when a crack addict goes, oh, it's just, it's like your dick, man,

like that feeling. I'm like, I'm going, I'll suck your dick into the fridge, I'll suck your dick, and then I made an egg sandwich with two eggs, two eggs. Two more? Yeah, two more eggs, and then cheese all over it, and then I, and then I got, I was like, well, there's one more bun in there.

Let's have a veggie sandwich. And then I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? Yeah. I'm so out of control. Yeah. And then last night I go, I'm not gonna drink. And then I start, I start, I feel like, I feel like I'm, because I've never had water,

I've never, I've lived in a state of dehydration. I think that's, I think. That I believe. I think that's, I think. That I believe. I think that's why my blood pressure has been high is that I don't drink water. I just don't ever drink water. That is, I'm so glad you found these. Because it's so good for you.

It's so much easier to drink these. And this is better, you might not believe me. This is better for you than Kool-Aid. I mean, no, I understand that. But I can't, you know, I keep telling the line, is that it's not stir it with your hand cool-aid. Like it's a cool way. No, I know, I know.

Okay. But, here we go. The funny, I don't know if you know that you don't have to do that. Like I get doing it once. It's the only way I drink them. That's the only way I drink them. That's the only way you drink them. That's the only way I drink them. It's the only way I, I want water to flood my system.

Yeah. I wonder what it's doing for my body. Wait, what's a good goal weight for you, you think? Uh-oh. I mean, about a good, a good... According to the internet, 185. Oh, not that. How about a...

70 pounds lighter than I am right now. What's a realistic walk around weight that you think you can make? How about a 70 pounds lighter than I am right now? What's a realistic walk around weight that you think you can make? Not like, how low can you get to? What do you think you can get to and go like, and I could live here? 220.

If I could get to 220, I could live at 220. When we did our first weight loss challenge, I got down in the two teens and then lived at 220 for a full year after that. For a year, I lived at to 20 and I loved it. I loved it, but I really feel like I've lost weight. I'm down today, I weighed myself and I was down to 247, which I was having a hard time getting to 240s,

and I think it's because I'm going to- You're going to love a colonoscopy because you lose so much weight that day. Really? I mean, it comes right back, but you clean out your system and then like, it lost like nine pounds. But you know what sucks is that it's the fear that you have right now that you're dying

and they're about to call you any minute and go, Tom, you have cancer. No. Okay. I did nothing that at all. I think that non-stop. I think that's why I'm getting my teeth cleaned. Is I'm afraid that I was, one night I'm in Dayton

and I said to the girl I Met meet these girls after the show and we're talking and the girl goes you have the nearest and as I do I said do you work at a dentist office and she goes I do I said what are you doing? She goes I just do teeth cleaning and I was like hey, can I get my teeth clean by you tomorrow? She was like yeah, I go have a flight. Why don't I just go in tomorrow morning? I'll get my teeth clean by you and then I'll'll fly out. She was like, I can do that. I won't even charge you. I'll just bring in clean your teeth and then bounce.

And I was like, oh, fuck yeah. Now, did you do it? And then she said, I'll do everything. I'll clean your teeth. I'll check for oral cancer. And I was like, I'm out. As soon as she said that. As soon as she said that I went, I was like,

eh, I'd rather just find out I'm dead one day. Like I just, it, that gives me anxiety. And I, would you rather get hit by a bus, then actually take care of the things that might be a bad result? That's a good question. I'll tell you what, I wouldn't mind a mix of it. I wouldn't mind hitting hit by a bus and then being in the operating room, and like, oh my god, you have oral cancer. And I'm like, right, I'm like, what? And then like, don't worry, we can fix it.

Like, I wouldn't like the, like, it's not as bad as all the shit the bus did to your body, but we'll get to that. Like, sometimes I think about that, like going, like when two-pock guys shot, did they bring them in, they're like, oh, you also have lung cancer. Like, how many times do you think people have a tragic thing happen, and they get stabbed, they bring them in, they're like, oh, by the way, you're diabetic,

and they're like, oh, like, it's not a bad way to get bad news. It's have something horrible happen to you, and then be in the doctor's office, and they're like, is that makes sense? I really have a fucked up way of looking at, It's have something horrible happen to you and then be in the doctor's office and they're like Is that makes it? I really have a fucked up way of looking at at tragedy. I had say you'd rather be like They're like you can't walk anymore. No, no, no, no, no, I don't I don't want I want fixable tragedy like fixable Trailer I guess shot me arm and then I get in there and they're like, oh my god. You have stomach cancer. No, not that bad.

I don't know stomach cancer. So there's all these rules that are changing as we're laying it out. I thought it was pretty good. I don't wanna think about death. This is why I drink is I don't wanna think about death. And I know one day, one day, I will be dying. All right, fucking freaks me out, be on belief.

It actually, a lot of people mentioned you today and the idea that you would die, you know, surprisingly, or like- You're shocking death. Why, why, why today? Because Maradona died. And he partied so hard. Yeah, but he was 60, that's a good fucking run.

It's 12 years older than you. Yeah. I can do a lot in 12 years. By the way, I'm gonna live past 60. I'll definitely make it to 65. How do you know that? Because I didn't, I don't do Coke. Maradona did Coke.

He did lots of Coke. He drank a lot too. Yeah, and he was, by the way, he also was super cardiovascular fit for his whole life. Well, that is whole life. Ro, let's see some pictures of Maradona. I don't think I know what I'm talking about He's in the front he's wearing the hat like that's two

Yeah, he's just a security guard. I think he's the head coach of a soccer team right there I know he doesn't look great. Oh, wait, I want to hear what he said. Is that him? Yeah, that's him. His team scored. Just like you would react. Okay, Seek, and I tell you what freaks me out immediately, is I would use the fact that he got that excited and to mean that he was not going to have a heart attack.

Yeah. Like I keep, I feel like I won't have a heart attack because I run so much and I'm always, I mean, good, I can run. Yeah. But then I go, and then there's Jim Fix, I think, his name, who just died running. He had a heart attack. Yeah. I'm going into, well, it was always surprising that this dude was alive. This guy. How hard did he party?

I don't really know what my god Re-wrote the book on party for real. Yes. Yes big time big time So these are my canary in the minds like I look at hard for so then what's the option? Okay, be real What's the option? Do I shut it down? starting what I mean like what and and just never a party again? Is that, I mean, is that like, is that even realistic? I mean, some people would say so, but I,

who wants to be that person? Yeah. I mean, in real life, like, do you wanna be? Also, what is like, what would you, trying to picture like your existence if you were like, I came into town and I did my show. And then-

Hello, Sammon. And then- I read a book. Yeah, and I went to bed and I got up early the next day and I looked online for some cool pillows. And then I got on the bus and we drove to the next town. Fucking boring. Yeah. Like I don't, Then we and then I got on the bus and we drove to the next town fucking boring. Yeah

Like I don't It's it's a fine line between do you do you actually cuz I know we joy Do you get the speech about your partying a lot like the mean? I don't mean from like fans. I'm saying from people close to you like your so like you don't get like You know, I don't know like Leanne or your dad doesn't Definitely not Liam. She doesn't go like, definitely not Leanne. She doesn't. I mean, I would argue to a, to a fault.

Like, she has never said anything to me. She's like, but I think that's also, it's interesting. I remember Barry Katz one time told me, we did a pie. I'm sure I told you, I know I told you about this. We were in Montreal. We did a podcast. He's like, are you ready to admit you're an alcoholic?

And it was like really I don't know what kind of got you journalism He was trying to do or what I'm sure he's just trying to get views. I don't know what I don't know why he was doing it But I felt like going I Get notes from people that don't know me like Barry cats. I've used to work with him I feel like he you know, he's a friend and whatnot But I had not spoken to him on the phone in like a year at least and then he said that and I thought I wonder what what his Personal assessment is or what issues he has with that yeah, he puts them on me because I go he's not with me now listen if if I've never gotten anyone

I go, he's not with me. Now listen, if I've never gotten anyone, personally, Joe has said, Joe has said stuff, but I go, I mean, I'm like, you're not, that's like me saying something to someone that I only see when I'm partying. Yeah, yeah, I get that. No, he also does that. Like, he really, I don't even know if he's, if he's consciously aware of it, but he, you know, he has like, optimal human performance code in his head. So whoever he runs into that's in like his circle that he sees an obvious thing.

He's always going to address that. Like if you were smoking, he'll be like, what are you doing smoking? And then, you know, why would you do that? If you're eating something, why are you eating that? Like that's just like, because his wiring is like, by doing that, you're not gonna perform the way I perform. So I wouldn't do that, therefore, you know what I mean? That's kind of his brain, I think. I think also there are parts of my lifestyle that are, that I don't think people,

I think people think differently about me. I do, I have ran so far, 935 miles this year. So you only have, 70s, 65 miles left. You can do that? Oh yeah, I'm definitely gonna do it. Yeah, I mean, I have a whole month to do, I normally average around 100 miles a month.

And so, so like, if you compare the fact that I ran 1,000 miles this month with the fact that I party and I kind of, I kind of Level it off and I try to take care of both But then I add something like water into my life and I go, oh, man I really wasn't taking care of myself like that. Oh, I swear to God my knees stopped hurting just stopped Yes, I'm drinking water and then and then I Google it and it's like, oh Water helps with inflammation Like if you drink water it helps with lower your blood pressure like all these things

I was like I'm having issues with that. Mm-hmm. So and I am in front of it meaning I see a doctor Cardiologist every nine months But I my lifestyle but my lifestyle if you if if I was gonna have an intervention it would be for food It would be really for food. It wouldn't be for alcohol. I got one for us to do. What's that? What if we go see hypnotherapists about eating? Okay. I'm fucking love that. I would love that. I would. About overeating, you know? Oh, oh, oh, yeah, they'll love that too. Well, that's what I'm saying. I thought if he was like, here's like, this is gonna be

orgasmic. Every time it goes in your mouth, that's not what I meant. That's so he was like, this is gonna be orgasmic every time it goes in your mouth. That's not what I meant. So fucking good. No, no. I would love to be one of those guys that like, they dive into a pie when they get, when things get stressful, they're just like, oh, I could go to a room and just eat like a fucking lunatic

and then it gives them highs. Yeah, I would love that. Yeah, I think we're both already there with food. So. Let's do, let's definitely do that. I would love that. Is there any more Maradona stuff? Or is that it?

I was just wondering. Because. I want to see a picture of him drawing. So, look at him. Here he is, right here. Oh, I thought he was snorting Coke. Face in the cake. Oh, no!

No! No! Okay, here already. He's the fun guy. Here's my question with Maradona, right? Yeah. I mean, and I and this is probably, but does he go to a cardiologist?

Does he have a doctor? Wait, doesn't have anything anymore? He's dead. But he does. Like that's my thing about it. Like whenever I hear someone, I don't think he took care of himself. He heard something having a heart attack or a stroke.

I go, but were they seeing a doctor? For sure not. And that's where I go. Well, I'm definitely seeing a doctor. I actually texted my doctor today, so I was like, I was like, my heart rate's so low right now. I wonder if that can't be based on water, but every time I have a low heart rate,

it's because I'm not partying and I'm just drinking water. And I'm drinking like, I last night at a bottle of wine, watched the in-laws. That's not a lot for me. Like a bottle of wine's not a lot. That's weird. Oh, I got it. I mean, you know.

Yeah. I mean, I tell you what, super addictive, like I could, would really get into this if I could. Being put under anesthesia. Like, I remember when I had the hernia

and they gave me like the fucking good stuff and like you just black out, like it's just time travel. And then yesterday I was like, hey, so how long will I be out? I mean, like one of the procedures about an hour and then like 30 minutes of recovery, I was like, oh, that's it.

And they were like, what do you mean? I was like, I mean, you turn it up. If you want, I wouldn't mind being out for longer. Oh, and then you just scheduled how long you'd like to be out. Oh my God. And then you come out of it. And you're kind of groggy.

And I just go home and I nap for a solid 90 minutes, maybe maybe two hours. I was like, oh man, this feels so like I really like being put out. It is fucking like the best is to is like, I'm laying on that bed and at the medical place. And then they're like, all right, we're turning it up. up and he goes, you're probably gonna feel your eyes flutter here in a second and I was like, oh yeah, and he's like, you feel it and I was like, what do you think?

And I was like, this is what I can put out. I wanna get put out, but I think I'm excited about getting put out. That's why I don't want any procedures. You know what, I didn't have it this time of the time before when they were gonna do the hernia of a sack to me. I was just a little nervous.

I was like, I know this is a routine procedure, but I'm a little nervous. And they go, oh, we'll give you something to take. We'll give you. They just put it in the IV. And I was like, oh. And then they're like, you feel better? And I was like, yeah.

And then they just wheel you in. And then they'll like, time to go, bye-bye like. They'll eat an edible today. Time to go, bye bye. Maybe I'll eat an edible today. There you go. I was, this was my game plan. Cause I got up and I was like, my heart, my heart was super low, my blood pressure was high. And I was like, oh, I haven't taken my blood pressure medicine.

Maybe that's it. Maybe I need to take my blood pressure medicine for it to keep my blood pressure lower. And I started having panic about it. And I got on the treadmill and I felt fine. I was like, oh, I'm not, I don't feel weird. I don't, in my heart rate was so low, it still is low. And then I got done and I lifted weights,

I got in the shower. And I was like, I was like, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna do two bears one cave, and I'm gonna treat myself. I'm gonna take a Xanax and go to bed. That was for today. Today. So you're gonna do it later? I'm gonna just tap out.

I don't wanna be here today. And all this talk about you getting put under it later. I'm gonna just tap out. I don't want to be here today And all this talk about you getting put under I was like yeah, fuck everyone do it. I'm out I like it. You don't get hurt today world Try to attack me see what happens put your hand out you get smacked smacked down. Yeah, I'm fucking done Smackdown by a full milligrams and ex pow no half a milligram half a milligram half a kilogram kills me I actually would only do a quarter of a milligram because I, I'm, I, like, I'll be drooling all night. Then I'll open a bottle of wine around eight o'clock.

Not a nice. And X and X is passed through my system. Mm. But then you got residual effects. You have one glass of wine. All of a sudden it just kicks back in. You go, Mm.

That is, there is something really cool to be put out. Oh, it's the best. I wonder Michael Jackson's just in heaven I mean, that's what he's probably like finally finally. I got put under forever It's got to be the best. I wonder if you're in I'll tell you right now if I was it you know We should get for New Year's Eve Laffing gas oh Laughing gas. Let's get a dentist here to administer laughing gas to us. I don't know that they would maintain their license

But I'm down. I remember one time I was getting put under and I watched the dentist do this Like crank up the levels and I went And I started dancing my head was still attached but I was dancing Underneath and I was like, this is fucking awesome. Drugs are the best. How hard is it to get laughing, guys? See if you can get a tank of nitrous oxide. Oh my God, you know we should get,

we should get fucking chlorform and chlorform each other on. Hahaha. Nitrous oxide, see if we can buy, nitrous, target sells nitrous oxide. I don't know that that's the kind we want. Maybe not. Target. Oh, they sell wipits, probably.

I don't know, I don't wanna do wipits. That's not. I think I'm a little, I aged out of wipits. All right, go to chloroform. See if you can buy some chloroform. How funny would we be if we just prank chloroform each other? Yeah. See if you can buy, Lord form. How funny would we be if we just prank chloroformed each other?

Yeah. See if you can buy, you can buy it. That is definitely for sale. For $24. Jesus. How are people not chloroforming more people? I don't know.

But we definitely have to, if we get this, we start with Nadav. We gotta try to see how much you need. Wait, did Lacey Anderson, Lacey Peterson, what's the girl who killed her kid? Not Lacey Peterson. Who's Lacey Peterson? She got killed by her husband.

Not that one. Who's the hot one who killed her kid in Orlando? Oh yeah, Lacey Anthony. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Did she chlorform her kid? I don't know. I think she chlorformed type in chlorform Searched 84 to wait You hear that they say Anthony used chlorform to render her daughter unconscious before putting duct tape over her nose and mouth The suffocator and left Kaylee's body in the trunk of her car for a few days But sport before disposing of it Jesus Christ That is really intense and selfish It's a little selfish.

Fucking just because you want a party. Yeah, it's pretty selfish. It's pretty selfish. I would say that's a very kind way of describing chlorforms. God, man, how are people not chlorformed? They've got people. Is chlorform work the way it does in a movie? Hey, type in video of a person getting chlorformed. Oh, yeah. Is there a YouTube video of that? movie. Hey, type in video of a person getting chloroformed. Oh yeah, is there a YouTube video of that? Yeah, hey, this is unboxing. I just got chloroform, I'm gonna chloroform my wife.

Making chloroform? No, no, no, don't want to say making it. I want to see it being administered. So yeah. That might be a little too old, maybe like, let's look for a more modern version of it. There's gotta be, there's gotta be, there's gotta be. The problem is, you on YouTube right now?

Yeah. It's gotta be, there's gotta be a... There we go. Chloriform does it really knock you out. Tested. Tested. What is that racist picture? I think it's just a man from a Sikh Indian man. I think that's a white guy making fun of a Sikh Indian man.

I don't think so. There's no Sikh Indian man that looks like that. Back out right there, back out right there. Looks like Mickey Rooney from Practice at Tiffany's. Really? Am I not seeing it? Clearly? That one right there.

I just can't, I just can't. I think you don't fake teeth in. I think I need, okay. All right, put that down. Get chloroform. Manacuse is using chloroform to sexually assault. I know, but they got a guy knock himself out with propyl-o. Oh, that's different, but God, that's the best.

How is that YouTube TikTok kid not given himself chloroform? Which kid? Like, how does some TikTok kid not do? By the way, this is we are not proponents of the use of chloroform. We just gave a horrible idea to every fucking viral video kid who's like, my name's Johnny and this is the chloroform challenge. Don't do that.

Definitely don't do that. Have you ever seen Ari Smoke, Satvia? Satvia? What's the one that Miley Cyrus smoked? Soutva? Salvia. Have you ever seen Ari Smokes Salvia? No.

There's a video of Ari Smoking Salvia. Yeah. What did Salvia do for you? I don't know. Type in Ari Shafir Salvia. So what does he, he smokes it? it and he goes and he goes crazy. It's really disturbing and okay. Um, that's him talking about it.

It looks like there's an actual video. Yeah, I saw an actual video of him doing it. It's a really shitty shitty shot. It's a it shitty shitty shot. It's on YouTube though. The time Ari used to condom is a video. Oh my god. Ari trips on a salvia. But that's him talking about it. We want to see him actually smoking. Ari smokes salvia. Okay, let's try that. Jaffir, smokes, salvia. I guess they're there, they're there, they're there, right there.

Oh, is that right there? I think this is it. Oh, Jesus. Can we play this? I'm sure we can. Let's see. I thought it was in a bedroom for some reason. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is it, this is it, this is it.

Oh my God. This is it. This is for real? Yeah. How old is this? This gotta be really old. This is on you stream. Yeah.

And Sam Tripley's holding him like a child. Yeah, go back, go back. I wanna hear it because it's, he makes like crazy noises. Oh man. By the way, this is, why would you smoke salvia? Does that do anything for us? I don't think we're gonna play the lot for it. We can't play the audio. I don why would you smoke salvia? Does that do anything? Because you wanted to play the lot for it. We can't play the audio. No, I

not. Why not? I want to hear it. Well, because it's going to get us flagged. Look at him. Look at him. Yeah. He's fighting him. Oh, no. Is that red band? And Jen Kirkman, it looks like. That's not Jen Kirkman. Who is that? I don't know. Oh my God. It's super upsetting. Yeah, that doesn't. I remember watching it and going, but I guarantee you, you know, who would fucking definitely be a part of the chloroform challenge?

What? Legion of Skanks. Oh yeah, yeah. They definitely don't have a problem. By the way, you just planted that seed too. Hey guys, head up Lewis J Gomez, R.H.F. Big J.O.X. And Dave Smith.

And tell them you can buy chloroform for $25.4 on eBay. There you go. There you go. They're gonna be chloroforming the fuck. I love this shit. You can find online. Yeah. Stuff you find online that just goes, huh? Yeah. Like, what? I started buying Tomahawks. Tomahawks. I bought four Tomahawks last night. Is that throw? Yeah, I just throw them around my backyard. This is, and I put one in each of the girls' bedrooms. It's so crazy that like everything like that, I go, man, that will, my kids will kill

each other or themselves with anything. Oh, your kids, definitely. My kids are a little more timid or girls, I think, and they're running into Tomahawks. I bought Tomahawks from really nice ones from spider co like like a plastic like fiber Composite handle so it's not wood yeah and sharp ass blades and I You can find out my Instagram stories. I think you find out my Instagram stories. It's a really pretty one boys

They're so destructive and I just put them in my girls bedrooms I said someone ever breaks into your window Tom hawk their fucking head Had they respond to that they loved it. They have knives everywhere like I have knives all over the room I'll have a sword next to a bed dude Yeah, if you did this in my house it would just be a blood bath. Let go back go back go back It's I think I'm in the keep going back. That's the push that's because of your bathroom there. Look at this look at this Yeah, take a take a look at this Tomahawk. Jesus, man.

So good looking Tomahawk, right? It is. Yep. It's a badass looking Tomahawk. It looks cool. And then I showed this bathroom to push. I think she would love this bathroom. Bathroom?

It's a bathroom that has a kitchen attached to it. Where? So, because not to tell too much your business, and you get edit this out if you want, but push like, right by your bathroom push, has a coffee maker. She loves it. Yeah, she has coffee, and it's really smart.

It's kind of brilliant. Why don't I upstairs to make coffee when you're just gonna be upstairs? Have your coffee be upstairs, right? Get your shit started in the morning, have a little sitting area, and this woman Tamard Day, who were obsessed with bargain mansions, it's her show,

and she is, kills it in bathrooms. Like, I'm telling you, this is how obsessed we are with this woman. We reached out to her to like, go, hey, can you help us give us some ideas for what we're building? Yeah. And she had a bathroom where she had a,

like a, like a, a kitchen, a morning kitchen. Yeah. In the bathroom, like a little area where you made coffee. It's the best. And, and, Leanne's like, oh like a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, agent was like, oh, here's this and you was kind of like walking through the, and she pressed a button in the bathroom. Remember that and this drawer opened. I was like, what is that? And she was like, oh, it's their coffee setup.

And we were like, up here. And at first I was like, why the fuck would they have that? And she goes, so that you don't have to go downstairs to get your coffee, just wake up in the morning here. And I remember looking at Christina and she was like, so she started doing like the makeshift version of that. So every morning, you know, she'll be like, do you want a coffee

and just like make the coffee right there in the bedroom. I love you guys, you guys have turned me on to certain things that I can't unsee now. I remember, I remember this, it's funny how you can remember something that a friend tells you and you almost never forget it and Anytime I'm driving on the 405 where by your old old old old like house now you remember the one that was over in the hills over there. Yeah, yeah I remember you saying

Push looked at you and said we have money now. We can buy chargers for all our plugs. Oh my god This is a that was a game changer. That was a game changer. That was a game changer for me. So I started going go buy a bunch of outlet like a phone chargers. I bought the other day I bought like five phone chargers. Yeah and they started plugging them in everywhere. Yeah. So anytime you sit down you're like, oh part chargers are here. As opposed to owning one. One and we used to be like, oh, I guess I don't get to charge my phone today. Yeah. Yeah.

That is it. So dumb, and it's like 30 bucks. Yeah, we should do it. The greatest is the greatest thing you've ever, and I remember going, I remember at the time, we had a phone charger over plugged into the wall, but it was, and your phone just sit on the ground. Yeah.

And I was like, why do I have? And then I found out they made like six foot cords. And I was like, oh, so I don't have to be in bed on my phone like this. I can just go like this. Right. Yeah. Like it's so funny, those little work around.

There's little things that you go like, why did I not allow myself to think that I could just buy another charger? Yeah, and it's because you're trying to stay, but like when we got in the car after coming dinner at your house and Leanne goes, push has a coffee maker in her bathroom. And I was like, what?

She was like, yeah. And she was like, that's crazy, right? And I was like, yeah. And then we lay in in bed and she was like, Leanne's like, should we put a coffee maker in our new bathroom? And I was like, I think so, because we're not gonna wanna go all the way out

to get coffee. It's great. And she was like, I wanna get a coffee maker. And then we saw this on bargher mans, and I was like, holy fuck, man. Like if you really change the way your brain thinks. Exactly, it really is. Like it sounds, it does sound, I'm so, holy fuck man, if you really tend to weigh your brain things. Exactly, it really is. It does sound, I'm still used to it now,

but the best thing is you wake up, and you're like, oh, right, and it's early, take your leak, and people like me brush their teeth, and then you go, you go like, you're gonna brush them today. You're gonna brush them today? Well, I waterpick a lot.

Yeah, that's good. But then to be like, okay, and have a coffee right away, right there in your room. And then slowly, sit back on your bed, you just drink your coffee. As opposed to getting your whole morning routine going, then go downstairs, then make it, I don't know. I think it's a great way to start today.

Finding a cheat code for your life is there should be a TV show called Cheat Codes, where you find out people that are doing it right and then do it a great way to start today. Finding a cheat code for your life is there should be a TV show called Cheat Codes where you find out people that are doing it right and then do it as certainly as a way. I love this. I love it. I want more of those insights from people where they go, have you thought about doing it this way?

And you're like, no, I did not. By the way, you just said you go, you've shown me certain things that I'll never forget. And you know how you go you've seen you've shown me certain things that I'll never Forget and you know how you love pimple popping. Yes, okay. This is a an intense one, but I think Because you love pimple popping. Yeah, that you'll appreciate we showed this on our live show I did you watch the live show you haven't watched it. But this is like a, it's kind of like below the belt, right? It's below the waist,

so that's why we can't show it to the YouTube audience, but it's pretty intense. I think you'll see it. That is in a vagina. Yeah. Right. A vagina? Yeah. Right. Tell me how satisfying that is.

Oh my god, is that an abscessor of her planar? Yes. How did she get that? I don't know how she got it. I just don't know how she's taking care of it. She has no problem squeezing the fuck out of that. And it's so much. She's kind of skinny. Yeah, and that thing is... It's kind of...

I bet it smells so bad Oh, she's got to see a doctor. Oh, yeah, I wouldn't have done any this on my own I certainly wouldn't a videotape that But I certainly wouldn't have wouldn't have posted it. Yeah I mean Just uh and like just bare fingers squeezing it Also, I feel like whatever's coming out of it could infect her. I definitely could it definitely could She's gonna get a bottom effect. Oh

Your hands trembling. I wanna see what she looks like. Oh, her asshole isn't good enough for you. Oh my God. That's an enhanced one. Makes me want to brush my teeth. Oh my God. Training and abscess.

Yeah, yeah. I remember my dad woke me up one time. He was like, buddy, you gotta see this. And I was like, what is it? And he was like, come here. He was like, remember that lump I had on my back? And I was like, yeah, and I wasn't paying attention to what I was looking at.

And he goes, take a look at this. And he just, it's like two in the morning. Two in the morning. He wakes you up for it. He woke me up for it. And he's just, it's like, I was like two in the morning, two in the morning. He wakes you up for that? Woke me up for it. And he just starts squeezing it. And I realize it's been spraying all over the mirror in his bathroom and his cup, like he's just going,

and it's just squeezing and I was like, holy shit, diver tell you about the time I popped a pimple in my nose and a hair came out. This is like the most amazing thing that I've ever done and no one ever witnessed it but me. So it's like it's like hitting a hole in one when you're playing by yourself and then no one believes you. Yeah. I had, you know when you get like a lump on your pimple on the inside of your nose?

Yeah. And it was killing me. It was killing me and I was in, I was a sophomore in college and I was in my bathroom and I was like I'm just gonna try to pop it. It started showing up on the other side, like it was red on the outside. So I was like, I'm just gonna try to pop it through this way and I put my finger in my nose and I just squeezed

as hard as I could and a fucking hair just went sunk out of my nose. I went, oh, like, almost like, thick ex-caliber. That's what was creating this. And it was a hair in there and I was like, I pulled the hair out and as I pulled the hair out, plus just started pouring out of my nose and I was like, oh my-caliber. That's what was creating this. And it was a hair in there. And I was like, I pulled the hair out, and as I pulled the hair out, plus just started pouring out of my nose.

And I was like, oh my God, squeezed it, and hose the mirror down. Just, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr dude what is it what is it no like some type of like growth like some type of sister pocket you know I thought of you immediately I was like Burke's gonna love this he seems so calm is he sedated Come on, fucking piece of shit! And then he gets pliers Oh shit! Oh shit, that fucking hurt! Look at that!

And now I got a gaper! Look at the size of that hole! Ooh buddy! Oh shit mother fucking I Don't know what the fuck what is it? Oh my god. It's like I it looks like a just a cyst that he pulled out entirely That is so fucking rewarding You go back to I want to see the second it comes out oh My god, what is it? How do we get a hold of this guy? I want to find out what it was I want to find out what it was too

I would love to get a hold of this guy Look on his face. Yeah, that is a whole okay now here's what we need we need research on this guy who is this guy? I don't know how we found the idea It was just sent into the YM a Gmail we should try to find them. We need research on this guy. Who is this guy? Do you know how we found the video? It was just sent into the YMATG email. We should try to find them. Okay. If we can.

Find this guy. I want to see what his face looks like. I got pissed. You need not need to piss. Not yet. I've been pretty dehydrated for the last 48 years. Listen, hang on a second. Have you ever seen salivary stones?

Type in. God, how do you find all these things? Salivary stones? Typing. God, how do you find all these things? Salivary stones. Okay, okay now, now go to, hang on. So, so wait, hold on, go to YouTube and type it in YouTube. Okay. By the way, I'm like, I'm swallowing aggressively. I think I don't know what's going on with me.

Salivary stone, type in, Burt Crincter. Look at this, dude. Hang on. Okay, go down. Fuck. All these come up when you type in Burt Crincter Salivary stones. You look really skinny right there.

Where, where? Makes local news of funniest ever. Oh, I was really skinny there. By the way, I was really, I was. No, what, go, there's a skinny there. Yeah. By the way, I was really, I was. Um, no, what go there's a guy this is that removes one. All right. Let me pee while you find it. Just find it and I'll find it. All right, I'll find it.

Go to a type in Saloverstone. Uh, what's the name of my open tabs? Open tabs. that's it. So hey, go to that and scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll until I show you, until you see Salivar Stone removal and then we'll, I should do open tabs again. That was a good show. I wonder, what's the legality of that? I can't play these slips away, I was. There it is, there it is.

Find out what that video is. Find out what that video is. Can you see that video? Zoom in and read the copy in it. I see it. Yeah. Okay, can you find that video? Salivate gland, yeah. Okay, yeah, that guy, that guy, that guy, play this for Tom.

This makes my dick hard. I love this, this fucking, I don't know whatever that is. By the way, I need you to send me that clip of that guy pulling that thing out of his face. I want to, I need to watch that over and over and over again. For whatever reason, that feeling, when you see it come out, that makes me so excited. All right, you ready for a fucking banger? Okay, sit down.

This is maybe something I've watched a million times. Really? I've watched this so much. Hold on, hold on. And what, wait, what led do you discovering this? times. Really? I've watched this so much. And what wait, what led do you discovering this? I have no idea. He wrote removing my own salad, Salah very glanced on. I have no fucking idea. And by the way, I thought I had one of these recently. I didn't, but I, what it happened was I had a problem underneath my tongue.

And I thought I had one of these Isn't that little white? No, no, no, no, you just watch just watch. Okay, okay. Can you play audio? Yeah, I guess not okay Okay, hold on this using a needle there. Yeah, it's a little white thing. It's that little white thing Okay, by the way his haircut hair cut always caught me off guard. Cool, what part of it? The fact that it's combed part over. So he's got, so for everyone.

What is that, a scalpel? No, this is a Xacto knife. Okay, so he's got an Xacto knife, he's got this white thing and he's trying to cut the skin around it so we can get this out of his mouth. Why would you not go see someone? He is left handed, obviously. Why are you doing this yourself?

Why are you doing this yourself? Because you got online and you found out I can do this. It's not that hard. Hold on, here comes the fucking money shot. Okay, so I've watched this so much. I've watched this so much. Okay, I've watched this with my daughters. I've watched this with my wife. I've watched this with, I've watched this with my daughters. I've watched this with my wife.

I watch this with, I've watched this on open tabs. I, can I still do open tabs or is that illegal now? Okay, now he's got tweezers and he's just trying to get it and it keeps slipping, it keeps slipping and he's drooling. That's the hard part about this. So he's cut the skin around. What even is a salivate?

Wait till you see what he takes out of his fucking mouth? Oh, my God. Wait, do you see what rib is removed? By the way, I would love to talk to this guy. See, these are things that I, like, if you said, you ready? Hold on. Yeah, okay, get a hold of it, buddy.

You gotta get a hold of it. Yeah, I think this is the one. It's definitely got it now. I think he goes back in with the knife. Oh, really? I think he does. I think he has to cut even deeper. Do you understand what a celebrate stone is?

I don't, but boy, do I know what one is. Like, yeah, I think that's something we should put up on another page and be like, see, you can almost see that there's skin all around it. And he's, and all that part right there, I think he's got to cut it one more time. Watch yeah he goes in and he goes I just got to get under it buddy. Yeah I got to get under it. Yeah. By the way I would make out with this guy if you let me take one out of his mouth.

Oh let's get someone with fucking a dilated pore. Let's do some pimple popper removers on our live show. Yeah. Oh we're doing a live show by the way. Oh yeah, we should tease. Well, because we don't have the, we'll talk about it here in a second. Let's finish this. Okay, you ready? So now he's going around. He's drying the area, getting it dry. So we can grab Tom, get ready. How much time's up to this video? Okay, use your scroller to make sure we're getting close.

Go, yeah, yeah, go to there. Go to there. Okay, here we go. A little more of a cut. Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay, use your scroller to make sure we're getting close. Go, yeah, yeah, go to there, go to there. Okay, here we go. A little more of a cut. Oh my God. This dude is cut out of his mind.

A little more of a cut. Is he American? Yeah, he is. Yeah, he is. He doesn't have an accent. Nope, I think he's from Wisconsin as a matter of fact. He's got four and vibes. He's got four and vibes. In fact, he is an exacto in his mouth.

Yeah, exactly. He's like, this is what we do in Syria. Oh my god. That just came out of his fucking... No. Yeah, look at that fucking... No. Oh my god.

What is that? I have no idea. What is a salivary stone? Salivary glanced stone. Typing in, what is it guys? It's got to be from like like too much coolade or something. Oh my God. Look at that.

I came out of his fucking mouth. And they're rock hard? They're rock hard. They're rock hard. I thought I was getting one too. Salivary glans, salivary stones also called the Cialo theasis are hard and mineral deposits that form in the salivary glands.

The condition is more likely to affect people age. 30 to 60 and men are more likely to get salivary stones than women. I still don't really understand what it is. It's just a, like, it's like a collection of calcium. Do you ever get tonsil stones? Tonsil stones are, like, it's just,

What does it say there for how you get rid of them? Like that, that, that, Oh, you take it in the exact zone, I'm going to go and get it App with your roommate and have them film it Your doctor or Dennis may suggest sucking on sugar-free lemon drops and drinking a lot of water Okay, the goal is to increase saliva production and force the stone out of your duct. Oh my or you could take a fucking exacto knife Into your mouth Jesus Christ man, and put that is so crazy what I just saw

It is fucking crazy. How much of you drank today? Right now or I think we're coming up on under gallon we have had six I've had six total I had one this morning when I woke up. I had one before I walked in here with you guys and then these are four so I'm at six what six times 16 16 and tell me where I'm at? Yeah, by the way, I can have two more before we leave. Really? Yeah, I like water. Yeah, water's good.

We shout out to LiquidDeath. Thank you for sending these to my house. So you've had almost a hundred ounces, I think 128 is a gallon. So you're right there, you're almost at it. I'm right there, I'm right there. It's like 10 in the morning. It's a little later than that.

Like early in the morning. Let's talk about our live gig. Okay, so it. It's like 10 in the morning. It's a little later than that early in the morning. Let's talk about our live gig. Okay, so we're going to do, this is the pre, because we're not, this is not the actual on sale. Yeah. But this is just the pre-announcement. We are going to do a New Year's Eve because look, I mean, who are you going to party

with this year? You can't go to big parties. You can party with us. Here's what we're trying to do. I don't know if we'll, we'll survive. We're trying to do new year happy new years in every American time zone. So starting just before Hawaii. Good point. We're trying to do start just before the East Coast, get then go to Central Mountain and then Pacific. And we have. and do horrible representations, a stereotypical versions of what we believe you,

you look like if you live in those places. And each of those time zones. We are going to party hard, lots of booze, lots of edibles we're talking about, maybe, chloroform. Chloroform. Besides partying, we are,

and we've already got the ball rolling on making horns for each other. We are hiring companies to make porn and see what porn. Who can make the best porn? Do you remember when we had this horrible idea one time? Which one? We thought about this, we said we should do

drag to each other's porn. And then we forgot about it, and the dog came out and he goes, hey, you guys are gonna make porn, so we're like, you're safe. We also do have a competition going that we're gonna be doing, and we have some special guests, surprise guests, and treats for that day, so I believe. We're gonna be edging the whole night.

Until we become goons. Until, yeah, we're gonna edge all the way up till New Year's Eve, our time, and then we're gonna blow our loads. It's gonna be a lot of fun. Happy New Year! Ah! So, Salaberry Stones.

Yeah, Michael Stahl, message us both about a new article he has, Mel Magazine, about that, you see that top left one there, the psychedelic science of gooning. So that's this whole thing. I love that finding out is deep, weird, layered stuff. So edging is obviously, it's pretty popular.

It's in Norton edges. Yeah, edging is like... I've never done it. I can't bear you kidding me. You see the way I drink water. You think I get edged? I've done it before. You think I've ever... Are you serious? Yeah, yeah, I've done it. Yeah. So what do you do?

You just basically go up to the... Right before the point of no return, let's say as a man with orgasm, and then you taper off, right? And then you keep doing that. So you're building the anticipation, and you're basically in that, like that 90th to 95th percentile.

Is it kind of like, like I remember a couple times when I was single, I'd be hooking up with the chick, and I'd be so horny, I'd be shaking almost. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's sort of like that. And you're basically just prolonging being in that really erogenous zone, and then you go up until you decide to.

But this gooning thing, I learned it from reading this article. And gooning apparently is when you take edging to the next level and go into an almost hypnotic semi-meditative mental state where you're vibrating. And it takes like, some of these people do it for hours. I've been gooned then. You have? Yeah, yeah, I've been, I remember I hooked up

in this one chick and And she kept playing with my dick but not like just playing with it a little bit and stopping that's different And then no but I was like I was like getting ready every time yeah Yeah, and then she's just stop and I'm like motherfucker these guys are do you know what these guys are doing for gooning? They're setting up multi cams like oh Pull up. Oh, no, no, so like there's one here if you there's one hyperlink here if you scroll through the story now go go back to that story And it says like about somebody's Set up It has a hyperlink to it. So like scroll through the story

And it has it says that that see how it says a nine screen monolith right there, next paragraph down. It's right there. Yeah. So like, dudes who are gooning are doing shit like this. Whoa. Like, they're, they're, they're going into like porn overload. You know what I mean? Like, they have tons of porn going

and they're getting into a masturbatory super state. And they're basically doing this for hours and hours till they're consumed, their body is just like in a trance. And they can sometimes go for like three, four, five, six hours. No way. Yeah, it's a whole, I mean, even says it in the article that it kind of, you go like, there's a wild factor to this, and then you go, it's like a dangerous,

in the sense of like, super addictive state of like somebody just consuming nothing but this. You know what I mean? Like, to your mind, and you can get really warped and lost in it. But yeah, these are called... Holy shit, goons man. Gooning, because goon is such an, you know,

it's so interesting. I gotta obsessed with the word goon. Goon's a good word. Goon's a good word. And if you type in on pop by, there was a goon. And then that's also like, I mean, I always heard in hip hop, goon is like a, like thug basically. Like I got goons in every city, you know?

Type in the word, let's Google the word goon Cuz goon is also a hockey term Mm-hmm There's a movie Sean William Scott Anderson. Yeah, let's go to Webser dictionary here. Let's see what what they have for the definition a Goon a stupid person that's the first definition. A man hired to terrorize or eliminate opponents. See, I think that's like enforcer.

So that's where I think the, like where I heard it in like rap songs and shit. Type in pictures of Goons. That's the- I got with glasses shut up. Oh, it's all skies somewhere. Are you right hockey the best of hockey people? Yeah, it's all hockey because of that movie There we go look at that the goons. Yeah Look at the good squad the goons squad what a good word goon squad, but now there's a new definition I wonder if we should call our fans goons. I mean, it could happen. I mean, we're a little late to to call our fans something. Yeah,

yeah. Like like 50 some episodes in the slipknot. They call their fans maggots. Yeah. And I think it would be weird to right now name them. Yeah. Well, especially, honeypots, we're telling them too. Like, oh, you guys jerk off all day to us. I mean, we just learned a new definition. But look at this guys, set up. I'm gonna start using the word Goon.

Goon to great. I like it. Goon. Can I tell you a phrase that I, well, I just call my dad. Stop. Can I tell you a phrase that I liked, I'm watching this documentary on Ronald Reagan? Never expected that sentence to come out of your mouth.

His son said, his son said, his dad gave into low effort thinking. Low effort thinking. That's what his son says about. He said, he goes, nah, not to be disrespectful with my dad, but at that point when his dad became more conservative, he said he just gave in to low effort thinking and just said, you know, conservative politics.

White man needs to be above a black man, like, you know, low effort thinking. That's what he said. Well, apparently at the time the parties were saying, the party's kind of shifted. I think he was a Democrat and then Democrats started elevating everyone. And I think back then, in the old school, old school Democrats,

we're like, no, white man's definitely gonna be about the black man. Like just giving you guys up, elevate them, but not to our level. And I Ronald, by the way, this, I have no idea if what I'm saying is accurate at all. I half-list into this. I half-list into this and then started writing down quotes that they were saying, but Ronald Reagan said his, he didn't quit his party, his party quit him. And so,

he, and then his son said he gave into low effort thinking, which is basically just, just like going like not thinking about things and just going, yeah, fuck them, you know, low effort thinking. I, I love that phrase low effort thinking. Yeah. Low effort thinking that was the other and then I'm going to try to slide these into paragraph and the sentences. Not to put a fine point on it, but that's I want to that's the phrase. Not to put a fine point on it. Yeah. I want to be able to slide that in. What does that mean? Not to put a fine point on it. Not to put a fine what does it mean to say that? Like when you say she said not to put a fine point on it and then kept saying and I was like, it's such a good phrase, but what does it mean?

It says to speak bluntly. So if I was like not, how do you use it in a sentence? Well it says right there not to put, not to put to find a point on it, your Emily is a liar. Wow, oh, so it's, oh, so not to to, oh, so it's like, it's like, I don't wanna tell you exactly the truth,

but you're a whore. Yeah. Not to do to find a point on it. To be completely direct and honest, I think she's wrong. I love it not to put to find a point on it. So you say that right before you slam someone. Yeah, you like that. Oh, hey, that's not to put

to find a point on it. You're a fucking goon. Yeah, that's a great challenge guys. I would love to see your videos of you sliding that into something with some low effort thinking. So like, say to your wife, like, not to put to find a point on it, but you've gained weight. I put that in a video. Yeah, put that in a video. And then you should be like, wait, no, I'm trying not to put too much on it. I'm doing it a bit. Yeah.

All right, here's the other one. What's good for the company is good for the business and what's good for the business is good for the employee. And I thought, oh, and then, you know what, phrase I haven't used, ever. Mm-hmm. And it's interesting. Send your videos to two bears, one cave at gmail.com. You know what phrase I haven't used? Ever? And it's interesting.

Send your videos to two bears1k.gov at gmail.com. And what's interesting is that it's all older people talk. Like no one talks like this because people say it's words like dope. You know, I'm so dope and you're like, I'm never given into that. I've never given into, I'm obsessed with original thoughts and original ideas.

There is a good point to be made that modern day slang, that you know, you usually are drawn to or and you use more when you're young, really actually limits your descriptive ability and like when somebody goes, that's cool. Cool, we use a ton, but really, it doesn't really, cool can mean so much. That it's better actually to hear somebody explain what's cool about it.

Because what do you mean by cool? Like that was cool. What was cool? Like you can mean that like I enjoyed it, it was different, it was creative, it was a new experience. Like it's so much better to actually describe it. It's then you use a limit, like one word that you guys dope. Yeah, that's dope, that's lit.

Like, I really have a problem. But we all fall into that trap. I actually don't, I don't say dope. I try not to say phrases that make, I know you do, I know Joe does. And it's interesting, because you guys are both grown-ups who speak for a living. And it's interesting. And you guys are fucking morons. No, but it's interesting when you guys lean into,

I remember when I stopped doing it. I stopped doing it when I moved to New York, God-free, would say phrases that were popular. I can't remember exactly what one is, but like, he would say like, like, mad, that's mad, crazy son. Yeah. And it was, I remember hearing him,

I'm not just slamming God, I'm not slamming God for you, but I remember hearing him use a phrase that I had heard people use and I had previously heard him use and I thought he just adopted that. And I remember thinking, I don't ever want to adopt anyone else's speak, I don't want to adopt group speak, I want to have my own speak. Now I'm certain I do it all over the place.

I'm certain I do. But with words like dope, I've never said that before. And so, or hella, that's the hella. Hella, yeah. Some of those things become like regional. Hella is regional. Hella is like. Northern California. And so I just never did it.

And then today I'm watching this documentary on Ronald Reagan and I'm like, oh, they're using beautiful words to express their things that at the time were probably dope and lit and hella. That's put to find a point on it as opposed to real talk. You're a whore. You know? Oh, yeah.

I mean, you're making the point though, that I mean, those are essentially, essentially you're saying the same thing, real talk and not to put're making a point though that I mean, those are essentially, you're saying the same thing, real talk and not to put too fine a point on it. It's just phrasing adapted by two different cultures, really. And I was trying to say today, I wanna come up with phrasology from my next special

that is my own thoughts of ways to say real talk. Or, and so I was like obsessed with that. This is what, by the way, this is what makes me crazy as a comic. Is I now am sitting on the treadmill this morning trying to come up with phrasology to replace dope and lit because my daughters do it. My daughters would be like, that's the content I'm here for. I go, don't use tired speech. Don't use meme speech in your real life. That lowers you as a human.

That lowers you into the commonality of everyone of like, oh, I don't have real ideas. Right, you're only so far removed from that's what she said when you start doing that, right? Like you're basically that's why I love this podcast. Yeah. I did not have this idea fully thought out. Yeah. And then I bring a half bite baked idea to you. And it is that's what she said. Yeah. And then I bring a half-by-baked idea to you. And it is, that's what she said. Yeah. It's that's what she said.

Yeah. And the thing is, in the last year, I feel like I've been a part of a couple conversations where someone unironically said that, and I wanted to die, and I wanted to hurt them so badly. You know, like when somebody actually just goes, that's what she said and you're like, uh-uh, this is really happening right now. I have a bus driver who's obsessed with that's what she said. Hey buddy, you're not hiding who it is. What do you do that?

Ron, Ron says that's what she says so much to the point that I now find it hysterical. Well yeah, that's because it becomes ironic then. And so it's fucking fascinating to me. I mean, this was more when I had a day job, there was a group of guys that I worked with. I don't know if you've ever met these guys and they were so obsessed with pause and no homo

for anything, like anything if you're like, that seems hard and they're like, pause. What? What do you mean? And they're like, you said that hard. Guys, we're fucking 26. Like, can we? It's elevating your speech to just so you don't sound

like the 15 year old on the internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it has the tick to it. Come on, man. Like, it's, and I tired speech. I just go, I want to challenge my daughters to have independent, brilliant thoughts on their own as opposed to having their personalities be defined by tick tock. It's so difficult that I really think that in the future you are gonna get really genius people who walk away from social media and create fucking brilliant ideas. I told you about the dream I had with Matthew McConaughey where he was like he was telling me something and he was like,

this is what I'm also obsessed with. He was telling me something and I said about existence and time travel and all this stuff. I was like, I'm not that smart. I can't really, I don't care follow you. I don't I don't like read books or whatever and he goes He goes, I you're not I'm not that smart. I'm just telling you stuff. I read in a book I'm just repeating something I read in a book right you're smart because you have brand new thoughts that no one had before and The I woke up in a fucking spiral trying to wrap my head around thoughts no one ever had before. Like a totally original thought. Totally. Have you ever had a totally original thought with no, like even original thoughts that I've had someone actually did before? A lot of them. And so to have complete original thoughts,

what an interesting question. Borderlines on crazy. Crazy people have original thoughts. That's true. That is true. Same people think like the rest of us. Right. That's true.

That's actually a good observation. And then when you hear crazy thoughts that somebody has, that are original, but crazy, you're normally the reaction to that is you're fucking crazy. That's a crazy shit. I've never heard anybody say that before. Right, cause you've never heard anybody say it before.

This goes back to push having a fucking coffee maker in your bathroom, and you see original, like when you first saw that original thought, the way we did, you mock it cause you're like, what the fuck and then you're like, and then you're in the car. And that's what this we come full circle. We want two bears one cave at Gmail.com.

Send us your best original thoughts. Yeah, it's the number two bears, the number one cave at Gmail.com. I want original thoughts. I want someone who goes, I remember one time, do you remember Harley from Epic mealtime. Yeah, Harley one time goes I don't know if you said original thought. I'm sure that's too convenient right now But he was original thought and he had two toothbrushes and he goes quick way to brush your teeth And he brushed his tops and his bottoms right

Yeah, I keep saying I want a water pick in my shower. Yeah. Like I want to. By the way, toothbrush in the shower is a really good one. Truth pushing the shower. Shitting in the shower. Original fog. Nope.

But makes you look crazy. Let's skip that altogether. You don't want to do that. So EDS used to do that. And that should summarize that whole idea for you. It's like, and then you just stop it down. And my wife saw me one time. And I was throwing it and I was throwing it

I was throwing it to the toilet from the from the shower. She saw me throwing the shit in the air and she said Joey That's enough. All right. That's when I stopped doing it. That's an insane thought. Oh You threw a log from the toilet from the shower of the toilet. I'm trying to think of my best original thought. Oh My best like that that I applied in my house that I go, oh yeah, that's like, like I, I don't know, I'm gonna have to really think about this. I'm dying to hear your original thoughts on what is this? What is this? Life hacks? Oh, life hacks, okay. Oh, I love these. I really do love these. By the way, frozen grapes are gangster. I had them at a resort one time. It was a land by the pool and they're like, would you like some frozen grapes?

I'm like, what do you mean? And they're like, we just, you know, just try them. And you start sucking on a frozen grape and then it kind of softens a little bit. And if it's hot out, that's such a treat of frozen grape. If you've never tried it, I'm telling you, it's better in the summertime, but it's an incredible treat. I like keeping it a refrigerator. It's a crazy thought, but then you go, God damn it, it's refreshing, it's fuck.

To be like, God, that's ice-coach-exact there, I want to do it for a little... Wine ice cubes? Wine ice cubes! Hold on! Hold on! Oh, for cooking with wine. Pass. Alright.

Okay. I love you on an ice-cubes. How much could... You can Pass. Alright. Okay. I, because I love chewing on ice cubes. How much? You can- I read with my teeth. And also, somebody would be like, Hey, Bert, did you just eat six trays of ice? I love chewing on ice.

Ooh, drinking wine on the treadmill. That's an original thought. That's a very original thought. What's this one? Pen spring protection. Adding a pen spring around your cords will keep the ends from fraying. Oh, just what you need to take. I know.

Okay. Okay, I got it. Keep going. Post it note on a keyboard. Yeah. I've seen that. Keep going rubber band on around a paint can. For what?

Check yourself in while house hunting, what does that mean? You make it a little bigger. Make sure you've got cell service while you're house hunting. You wouldn't want to move into a place where you couldn't take calls. Really? You moved into a couple of those. Every house. Every house.

Flipp flops. If you've ever had a flip flop out, pop out a place while you were walking. You're going to really enjoy the simple hack, but you'll probably be a little peeved. You didn't think of it sooner. So what do you do? You take the bread thing from the bread and you put everything in the thing so it doesn't go through. It's like the tie from the back.

Yeah. Oh, that's actually very clever, okay? Or you can just go to freewaters.com and get the new Bert flip flop. Yeah, go. Summer, the winter house shoe. Cut perfect cinnamon rolls with floss. Oh, easy way to slay out.

Yeah, you know what else you can do with floss for? This is kind of to remove, you know, people sometimes on the back of a car, it'll say it'll be the badge, like Mercedes S5 100, right? You can heat that up with a hair dryer and with floss, pull it and remove your badges. Like some people want to clean back. Really?

Yeah, hair dryer and floss. I love that easily poor dressing Oh, that's interesting Yeah, poke holes in with the fork and oh right so it doesn't pour all out at once I'll tell you what Leanne did when I for when we first started dating is she would buy butter and then put it on the counter So it's soft butter really and it was like soft butter is a game changer. Soft butter is a- When you get to a restaurant and they go to hot bread and then they give you ice cold butter. Yeah, you're like, look,

and then they rip your bread or apart. But if it's soft, you're like, hey, can you bring three more loaves of bread out? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Um, easily dispensable snacks. That's a good one, okay. Aloe vera ice cube. Ice cubes are making a real,

but what else can we freeze? I know Oh, what if we could freeze come what you can but what would you do that for? So you can throw it at people Come fight you throw ice cube. Yeah, but it's it's frozen come so I got you twice These tabs, okay. And can I tell you the one that Jay Larson and Ryan Sikler used to always fight over who created it? What?

Was taking the code hanger out of the closet in a hotel room and code hanging your blind shut, taking the little pressors for your slack. And I remember hearing them on, tube on crab feast, fighting over who came up with that first. I was obsessed with every way of closing the blinds. What I used to do, the best thing that I found would be, when you go to a hotel a lot of times,

there's the pillows you sleep with, and then there's the decorative pillows. So I would pile up the decorative pillows to use as like a support on the blinds So the blinds are apart so the blinds pull them together and you start laying the shit pillows on top and they just lay on On the blind so they don't separate. Yeah, I used to push furniture against them The best one though is when I was staying one time in a hotel in Canada and I go yeah, you know I need something,

can you send tape up to close the blinds because I need it black out to sleep. And the guy goes, yeah, we'll send up the engineer. So the engineer's like, so explain to me again. I go, it's too bright in here, man. I need it totally dark. And these are not closing. So he brings out a staple gun.

He goes, I'll just staple it. I go, hey, hey, hey, hey. Like, isn't that going to come on me? That, like, it's going to look like I stapled the balance. Yeah. And he goes, no, no, it's fine. And I go, is that going to ruin the blinds? And he goes, it's fine.

And he goes, and he just stapled them shut and left. And I was like, OK. Dude, for road hacks, if we're talking on the road, because I haven't gone on the road like this in a long time, I used to bring an extension cord with a power strip so that you could plug into the wall and then take everything over to your bed and have all your shit on the side of the bed.

That's a good one. That was a big one. I used to bring duck, I still bring duck tape with me everywhere. Duck tape? Duck tape would come in so handy. Yeah. And that and Carabiner's, can I tell you

the best life hacker in the world? That and what? Carabiner? Carabiner's, can I tell you the best life hacker in the world? That and what? Carabiner's. Casey Neistat is a vlogger, but he used to do a daily vlog. And his life hacks for traveling were like, even just organizational. Like he organized his office in a way that was so fucking sexy

that you were like, I, I, like, what, organized his office in a way that was so fucking sexy that you were like, I, I, like, what, travel packing secrets? He had so many life hacks that I was like, I'm obsessed with it. You know what's gives me a lot of anxiety? What? That I fucking, it bothers me so much that I do this. And I don't feel well until I deal with it,

but I keep putting it off, is I hate when my nightstand, my bathroom area and my desk just get overrun with shit. Oh, oh yeah. And I feel so much better whenever I organize and clean it, but I always put it off. So like right now if you go to my mirror and my bathroom, there's just too much stuff there and I fucking hate it And I don't feel well. I don't feel like satisfied until it's cleaned up, but I keep extending it. Oh my

my side Table has been so bad and now all we have in there is just catcher eggs. It's just Things to wipe come with really yeah, that's what we that's where we as grab one of those little hankies Yeah, I have a lot of hankies. Yeah, I love hankies. I'd rather blow my nose in a hanky I saw this tick-tock and I was like I bet Bert would jerk off to this too. What is it? Go ahead? Just played it on your mom's 20 bucks. They're really sweaty They're really sweaty

That's it that guy just bought her socks for 20 bucks By the way that It's the little things right right the little things you like play it again Play it again. There's somethings. 20 bucks. They're really sweaty. Just on the side of the road. Oh man. That's so smart. Yeah. And you're like, I'm gonna pull over today. Oh my god. I do it. That's fucking, I mean that's like that dials into like a weird I used to tell you one of my analogies of of a one night stand. Yeah was a waitress who's been on her feet too long and

She's got smelly feet, but they're not like gross and she's got thumbs that compact bowls with yeah Yeah, there's a there's a type of her the server like yeah. There's a type of a server, like a, there's a sexiness in like, in like a woman, paying her way through life and being on her feet and being able to pack her own bowls. I think it's so hot when a woman smokes a bowl. Type in chick smoking bongs.

I used to, that was like the biggest thing on, not TikTok, not what. I dated a stoner once like a stoner chick dude And I know exactly what you mean women smoking weed. It's so hot when a girl can take a big Bong rip. Yeah, and just goes like Just play the one that's play all hit play Let me see this look at these two fucking... Yeah.

The hemplants. The hemplants, they're super cute. They're adorable. Yeah. Oh, and they're just, yeah. But there's something cool about a, like, when you see like Doug Benson do it, it's not sexy, or when Joey.

No, I didn't think, I, like, I wouldn't like to replace them with Doug and Joey if that's what you're asking Yeah And here's the thing these are low stress checks to be around Right very low stress, right? So it's like they're like you're like you want to watch something funny They're like yeah, you're like so what is it about me liking these girls or strippers, or I was gonna say prostitutes? Sure, what's wrong with that? Or porn stars.

Like I have an affinity for them, right? Like I connect with porn stars, and we're kind of like work way where I go, yeah, I feel like that too. I feel like a porn star sometimes. Yeah. And I think I've always been that kind of a kinship. She's like smoking two joints. These girls are awesome.

Can we follow them on Instagram? I'm sure we can. What is it? The hemp princess? Yeah. Which one's the hemp princess? The hemp princess and M plants. Yeah, there you go. The hemp princess. An M underscore PLA and TZ. Is this her? Probably. No, that person's African American.

Okay. There's a lot of hemp princesses. I bet there are, but you know, we can find them. We'll go back to that account. Follow back. Follow back. She follows me. There you go. to that account. Follow back. Follow back. She follows me. There you go.

Kitting him, killing. All right. Now I got a piss. Should we wrap this up? We should. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm looking for original ideas. Original ideas, send your emails, and then also next episode, we'll announce the more details

and the link for our New Year's Eve live show. But you know that it's coming. It's gonna be a lot of fun. Looking for New Year's plans. I hope you make them with us. I can't wait. Happy New Year's to everyone. It's gonna be a fucking blast.

It's gonna be fun. All right, great episode, man. Love you too. It's gonna be a lot of fun. Love you too. other wears a shirt Tom tells stories and birds the machine there's not a chance and hell that they'll keep clean here's what we call two bears one cake no scripts to be the booze amateur photography dirty jokes ranchie here no apologies here's what we call two bears one cake

Two bears on cake.