2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 77 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: April 19, 2021

SPONSORS: - Go to https://Watchgang.com/BEARS and use code BEARS for 20% off your first purchase - Go to https://us.Pandora.net/Bears and if you shop online or in-store between 4/22 and 4/26 you will receive a bonus gift with your $150 Pandora jewelry purchase – a limited edition, sterling silver bangle. - Get 15% off your order at https://BuyRaycon.com/bears - Get 20% Off and free shipping at https://Manscaped.com/BEARS - Get 10% off your first 3 months at https://Ritual.com/BEARS - Go to https://Whoop.com and use code “Bears” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. - Go to https://MillerLite.com/CAVE to find delivery options near you. It's Miller Time. - Go to https://SkylightFrame.com and enter code BEARS to get $10 off your purchase. Today on 2 Bears 1 Cave, it's Tom's birthday!! And Bert surprises Tom with a special present to start off the show. Next, Bert talks about his "dad stories", taking a drug test and how he thinks he would enjoy a conservatorship. After that, Tom and Bert discuss their interest in starting a 2B1C winery and talk about their favorite types of wine. Then, Bert proclaims that people are bad at telling their own stories, admits he loves making brown and how much of a floss guy he is. After that, Tom and Bert discuss Lance Bass' upcoming gay bar, other popular gay clubs around Los Angeles and the idea of tennis players like Maria Sharapova and Anna Kournikova as strippers. Last, Bert proves his love of Enrique Iglesias before the boys talk about the latest on Chet Hanks and his White Boy Summer movement.

I think about shitting a lot. You still have a lot of explosive shits. Not anymore. I lemme rephrase that. I have a lot, like I will have midday I have some like parts that shit goes out with them. Yeah. So I just go to the toilet to let's go out. 100%

Happy birthday, Tom. No, thanks, happy birthday, Tommy. Happy birthday. I've been waiting on this day more than you have. Really? I have been thinking about this since my birthday. I have been thinking about, I've had big plans. I have had big plans. And I wanted to get you, because everyone should be there. Let's remind people that I had a pretty fucking cool e-bike

Delivered to you as a birthday present $3,000 bike. Yeah, it was and you spent some money and we made a vow We realized at that point that gay men must give the best presents. Yeah, and then we got a list of presents And we know who gives the worst presence is women women is women women. There's women. And that's because they're dumb. Yeah. And so I stepped up, I stepped up my game. Really? I wanted to get you a present. I thought to myself, I wanted to get you a present.

Now I had a bunch of different ideas and it's amazing how hard it is to buy something for someone. And so I just did what you did and you thought, what would I like? Yeah. Right? What would I like? And so I know that you're moving to Austin. Yeah.

And I also know that you probably not prepared for the life out there yet. And I, and one thing I know is that some of the best times I've ever had with my girls was on the lake. Just one in one, giving them a little independence teaching them had a like be on their own But but also guiding them and I thought of Ellis and I thought of the perfect gift For you and Ellis the first day you get there, okay, so my present is already in Austin really? It's already in Austin. It is waiting for you. It'll be at your house when you show up.

Okay. Pull up my present. What is it? I got you a 2021 C-D-D-E. Really? That's fucking awesome, man! $14,000 What? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Awesome, I got that is awesome and they're so hard to come by right now Did you hire a model that looks like me to display it? I figured you get to Austin you get on the lake and you guys wouldn't have a boat or anything yet But you want to experience the water so I figured I would jump the gun. I will get you this

Amazing fucking seecraft to be at your house waiting for you waiting for you Blian is so fucking pissed. That's how I know she's so angry. She's so angry. Yeah. If a wife gets pissed, it's a good present. She said, you have never spent this much on me on a birthday present. And I said, quite honestly, I don't love you the same way on the top. And also, did your mind immediately go to the fact that I'm definitely spending 40 grand on your president here This one is coming back my way holy shit, man, dude. It's got the big engine. I literally I it's got everything a fucking Music dude, see these are the shit. They're the fucking best Thank you so much. Happy birthday. Thank you so much. You and you and the boys are gonna fucking love this thing They're gonna you're gonna have so much goddamn fun on the water. Oh my god

It goes fast. It was like 65 miles per hour It's fucking look at this guy flying Jesus Christ flying. I thought I thought when I get down there for the first time I get back and I get to go to your house. We doing two bears one cave in Austin. Yeah, yeah, when I get there Me and you I gotta get a second one. I gotta we ride to these so it's together He's doing 62 miles an hour. Oh Holy shit. Oh, it's got everything all the bells and whistles. I got my I got my I got my I got on the phone row Thank you. That's so fucking cool. Oh, shit. Shit.

That is ripping. And it's ready for you when you get there. And by the way, if you wreck at 62 on a C2, your life is over. I know. Over. Over. Look at how confident this guy is.

Whoa. There's so hard to get right now. They're so hard to get because during the pandemic, everyone got one. Speakers, you can play music. It's gonna be fucking awesome. You killed it. Hey, thanks, man.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Happy birthday. That's really cool. Liam was so fucking mad. Oh, that's awesome, man. Dude, I just talked to one of my good friends about this. A real?

Not about this, about he was like, I listened to the podcast and he was telling me he goes man You don't my wife got me a painting for our anniversary I got so excited so initially so, so it just will work, we'll tell you how this all panned out. So my first thing was I'm buying time a boat, okay? Okay. So I reach out to my ex-girlfriend from college. I was like, hey, can your, her dad used to work at Skino Teeke.

Like, who can you dad hook me up with a boat? She was like, I don't know. I mean, they usually just give them to like professional athletes. Yeah. And I was like, okay, and I was like, can you maybe set it up. She was like, I don't know. I mean, they usually just give them to like professional athletes. And I was like, okay. And so I was like, can you maybe set it up? She was like, sure. And then I reached out to her dad

and someone hit me up and I'm like, hey, just so you know, like ski boats these days are really expensive. Expensive. I did not know that. They're like $600,000. Well, you know, yeah, it's good. Well, when I was looking at,

that's insane. But when I was looking at, and I was like, we'll let Joe buy one of those and then we'll go ski over to Josel. He probably already has. I think you at, that's insane. But what I was looking at. And I was like, we'll let Joe buy one of those, and then we'll go ski over to Joe's house. He probably already has that. I think he'd like, yeah. By the way, I told him I was like, I think I'm just gonna fly straight into Austin

that first week and just go hang out with you guys before I go home. And just we'll do some two bears. I can talk about all the experiences. It'll be fun. And I was like, I was like, I'm gonna be there a lot. And Joe got so excited. He's like, hey man, if you need a car, I got cars. And I was like, okay, I was like, I'm buying I'm gonna be there a lot in Joe guy so excited He's like, hey man, if you need a car. I got cars and I was like, okay

I was like I'm buying a motorcycle. I'm keeping it in a Joe's house and so So I was gonna buy you a boat and there's a way to expense them So I pull it back and then I was like, okay I was like, why I want to get something for the water, right? Yeah, yeah And so then I looked here is one of the options and it was just it wasn't enough It was a paddle board, which I was like, I'll get Tom a paddle board that had a motor on it. And I was like, for when him and put,

I go, him and push, you're never gonna fucking paddle board. Paddle board together, she's sitting Chris Cross, Apple saw us with a glass of wine, and you're on an edible. And I go, and the boys are gonna be like, faster, and as soon as I heard, I was going faster. I had a visual of,

Ellison front of you, you driving and going, all right buddy, you take over and him just going, and I was like, oh, I gotta get him a fucking seedoo. So I called down to Austin, I reached out to all the places, called down, at first I was like, maybe I'll do a promo, I go, no, it's not fair, it's not a gift. A gift is when you spend your own money.

I'm really obsessed with this gift thing. Because it feels so much better to give than to receive. And so I call my business manager. It does. It feels so good. Your idea of taking friends out on the road with you? The best. It's a genius idea.

I'm gonna incorporate that big time this year. So I call my business manager. Yeah, I just had that conversation with a tour manager, I'm hired a tour manager already to start booking everything. Oh, I was like, How did you get a tour manager? Because I knew that things were gonna get taken up and that touring's gonna be,

like I'm booked right now through for the next couple of years. And so I'm like locking things down. And then they're like, who comes on the road? And I was like, well, be it opener and this person and I go, and then different friends just all the time, you know? I have them so far behind the A-Poll and that. Well, you got other things going on.

And so I call my tour manager, my business manager, and I said, I'm gonna run this by you first. I said, I got this guy on the phone. It's so hard to get ahold of these right now, but everyone in the pandemic got one. And the guy's like, listen, I got one in stock right now. I'll put a tag on it, it's yours. This is the one I got.

And he goes, it's got a bigger engine than you need. And I was like, that's what he wants. I said, he goes, what is this guy want? I said, he goes, he a big guy. I go, you know, not for Texas, but yeah. I mean, you know, it's a fucking big mother. Big mother fuckers. Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Haas. Yeah. And so I go, he goes, you want to go to Fast? I go, he wants you to go real fast. And he's like go real fast and he's like perfect perfect. I got the right one So call my business manager my business manager was like a I mean you get it for Tom they got a better one and I go fuck it get the better one So it's fucking you're gonna have so much fun on this. I can't wait I haven't I haven't ridden one now in like years. I was so fun. I wanted to get it wrapped dude

You know I wrote one of the ocean one time and jumped away and went like 20 feet past thing and then and then when they're looking for you you see them, but they don't see you And you're like, don't kill me please Because there's waves coming up Those things are so much especially on the lake in the morning. Oh, we're just fucking And you can I've almost kill me on one of those. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

She was like, Dad, hold on. And I was like, no, she was driving, cut it, and I went fucking flying. Oh, yeah. Head caught the water, fucking Jetsky hit me in the hip. And she thought it was fucking funny. Of course. And then when we pulled in, she goes, we pulled into the little thing, and I'm in pain, I'm going, running.

And I was like, like I said. And then he goes, wow, you guys are back fast. And then I'll pulled in she goes we pulled into the little thing and I'm in pain I'm going running and I was like I said and then he goes wow you guys are back fast and then Ila jumps in She goes dads about to tell you one of his dad stories And I was like bitch just getting front of this And then I had no like to stand up because Ila's everyone's like Ila was there sure That's about to you one of his dad stories Oh, I'm so excited. I'm excited. Thank you so much, man.

Of course, happy birthday. I can't wait for my birthday to see what I get. Oh, wait, hey, how mad. Just put this out there. How mad would Leanne get if it were a motorcycle? Oh, she would not, I don't care. I don't want it so bad. I don't care.

What if that's... I love it. You have questions and I can't care I love it you ask questions and I can't help but be real and I go Just what I just took a full drug test last night you did yeah, how'd you think you passed? I passed I took I pissed piss in a cup I got a good idea you can't you can't test positive from marijuana even no no no I know I don't know about that, but I just, they had one that had all the, for like 37 bucks, you can get tested for opiates for for methamphetamine, cocaine. Oh my God, I wish we would have tested me like two months ago.

Oh, like right out of the hospital, and you'd been like, wow, there's a lot of positives. How long does marijuana stay in your system? I haven't really smoked to a month. To me? Like that. I think it's different like like, wow, there's a lot of positives. How long does marijuana stay in your system? I haven't really smoked to a month. To weeks? Something like that. I think it's different like hair, blood, and urine, like urine, it leaves quicker.

I think it stays in your hair the longest, right? Up to 30 days. It's up to 30 days. Up to 30 days for urine, 90 days for hair. That's what I thought. And then four hours for blood. Is that why Britney Spears shaved her head? Is that why she shaved her head?

Oh, no, no, that was just like a kind of a break. Like freaking it. I thought it was because of drugs. Well, it may have been, but not because she didn't want to get her hair tested. It was just like she was freaking out at like, you know, the overwhelming pressure and attention and everything. It's actually like one of the tells they say that like if you have hair and you go to

like people kind of psychotically break sometimes, one of the things they do is shave their heads. For real? Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Me too. She's so, she was so pretty. See? She still is very pretty. Yeah. But she speaks really strangely, you know? Yeah, what is, she's in a, I mean, I watched the free Britney Spears people, but like a conservatorship, I should be in a conservatorship. I mean, I should, I think I am kinda.

Like, do you think about it? I don't really have access to my money. I got your birthday present, I had to call someone and get it. Like I could, the guy goes, I said, yeah, I'll take that one and he was like, great, let me get, hang on, I go, oh, I don't do this.

Like, why don't I have another guy call you and take care of this? And he was like, sure? I was like, yeah, he's like, who, your dad? And I was like, no, this is what he do. You'll Leo, he does this. I was like, I wouldn't know where to start.

Like, I have to give you like an idea or something. She hasn't lived for 13 years. How, I let's pro-encon a conservatorship. Because I think I would enjoy one. So what's, let's, give me, walk me through what the legalities of a conservatorship are. Okay. And then, maybe that's not the, is it an appointment of a guardian?

Or a protector by a judge to manage the financial affairs and or daily life of another person due to old age or physical or mental limitations. A person under a conservative, you can't conserve a tertiary, is a conservative tea in terms of that can refer to an adult. You could be a conservatine. Conservatine.

Yeah. So you would have somebody manage everything for you. Yeah, I do have someone manage everything. Yeah. I am kind of a ward of everyone else. I've been a ward my whole life. Oh, okay. Is they ward? Yeah. I mean,

You think if I said I wanna take out all my money, like I remember when we got $10,000 in cash. Oh yeah. Everyone was like, is they worth, yeah. I mean, You think if I said I wanna take out all my money, like I remember when we got $10,000 in cash. Oh yeah. Everyone was like, is everything okay? Yeah, yeah. I couldn't just get it. They were like, hold on, let's call again. Yeah, yeah.

Wait, am I conservative? Yeah, yeah. Well, she definitely is one of the checks in line there to make sure for you. Yeah, I don't think I'm allowed to do, I don't make any decisions. You do make decisions, but everything gets like, double checked, right?

Yeah. And also, I mean, there's times too, like if I can't get a hold of you, I call Ian. Yeah, I wouldn't yeah. I don't respond well to texts or emails or calls. Phone calls, I get, it gives me an anxiety. Yeah. Which I'm sure I can serve it to you. I get, it gives me an anxiety, which I'm sure a conservatine. I bet I have a lot in common with, put in famous conservatives.

It's just going to be a bunch of old people, man. Famous conservatives. Okay, I know what a book is for any spires, of course, there are a variety of different, the most common, which we'll be exploring in this blog. So in that blog there, I know the book is for me, Spirit of course there are a variety of different, the most common which we exploring in this blog. So in that blog there, I think. Amanda Burns. Binds. She was, she, okay, five other celebrities, okay, there you go.

There we go, let's click that. Okay, here we go. Amanda Binds, she's doing good now, by the way, she had like a break. She did? Yeah, she had like, she had like, it was like pierces all over her face. Some, I'm maybe, I thought she was. What was she from again?

She had a traveling of the sisterhood. Hoodpads? No. Maybe. All that. She was like a big Nickelodeon and... Okay, Nickelodeon's the rest. What he watches when he gets home. Fucking Nickelodeon. When I was a kid, yeah. Now. She now creeps you if you walked in. He's watching Puppy Dogpals. We'll just pass up. No, no, no, no, that was what you think.

There, she had like a break. She had a break. But I don't really know who she is. Okay. All right, well there's one. Scroll down, let's see who the next one is. Beach Puzz, Brian Wilson. Okay.

No, that was like, I'm heavy booze, heavy drug. I am literally Angling myself for a conservatorship like I'm in lot I got to make a billion dollars first if I made a billion dollars Yeah, guarantee you they'd be a conservatorship on me. Yeah, you know when we let me touch that they'd be like hold on There's a lot of people that are pulling paychecks off this. Let's pump your brakes big boy. Yeah, I think you're probably right Johnny Mitchell had a conservator. Oh, after a brain. But that's, yeah, that makes sense. So yeah, you could like, I don't know, how long till you get into a conservatorship, you think?

I gotta make, I gotta really, I gotta, we're gonna make billion dollars. I have a lot of plans financially for us. Like, and there, see, this is why I'm gonna get a conservatorship is that I have big ideas that everyone goes, that's fucking ridiculous. I'm gonna get a conservatorship, is that I have big ideas that everyone goes, that's fucking ridiculous. Mickey Rooney had a conservatorship.

Casey Kasim. Oh, there must be because there were so, oh, they had dementia, Louis bodies. Oh. Ooh. Later discovered Kasim had dementia. That makes sense. I could probably get dementia.

Yeah, so they said mentally incapable physically. Yeah, I could, I'm leading myself up. They just gotta make enough money in the next, I'm gonna give it 10 years. 10 years is a window to give a make a billion dollars. Let's break that down. That's an average of 100 million a year. Okay.

Mm. It's gonna be tough. Yeah, you gotta step that up. I need some things to pop. Yeah. I mean, I really have a lot of big plans on, on a two bear sports management. No, that's gonna be huge. Two bear sports management is gonna be big.

And I also wanna do like a, I think, I think if we dabble our toe into music and we use both our strengths, and I'll tell you my, I'll tell you my angle. Okay. Okay. I'm a thinker. Yeah. Yeah? So I'm on you my angle. Okay, okay. Okay, I'm a thinker. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm on the treadmill today,

and I'm thinking how do Tom and I make a billion dollars? I think of that so much. I think of that so much you have no idea. Really? I think of that. You're always thinking of that figure, billion? A billion dollars. So crazy.

I just want to be on the cover of billionaires. And just being like one of those poses. We should get those poses. I mean, I literally was like, I sent you the Mark Wahlberg Montage video. Yeah, yeah. I know we need one of those. That's a pretty, because Mark Wahlberg's,

see, all we have to do is follow in Mark Wahlberg's footsteps. Yeah. Or the rock, right? Yeah. I got to, I don't know if I told you this, but I got a vineyard, we're gonna have a wine. You called me about this.

We're gonna have a wine set up. We're gonna do two bears, one came wine. We're gonna figure out what kind of wine. By the way, a bunch of ventiners, that's what they call be blue make wine. A bunch of ventiners, I just found this out when I decided to buy a ventiner. I might not be right on that.

Okay. What is that girl's name? Maybe we could probably... She is a... She is a semolye. I did her podcast. It was really fun. I ended up crying at the end though.

Why'd you cry? This guy called up guard and I was drunk and mixed in, you know, I'm sobbing and... sobbing? Oh, sobbing. About what? Who knows? About this great wine that I had.

Beat Namize's iced coffee, Vigo Mortensen. Vittner? What's this say? Wine merchant, yeah. We just gotta figure out, what kind of wine would you like us to do? I mean, the one that I liked the most, I like Pinot Noirs.

I love Pinot Noirs. Yeah. Pinot Noirs. And then, you know, if you're drinking, if you're sorry, if you're eating like a steak, something that I like to go with a cab. What do you, how do you feel about rosé's? I mean, not my favorite.

Okay. I think we stick, I can murder a ball of rosé. I, hey, guess what? I believe you. I suck those down so fucking fast. Like a rosé is in bad shape if it's in my hands. Yeah. I never had a rose in my life.

And one day we're wine tasting, this beautiful place, Dimitria vineyards, see if that's it, Dimitria vineyards, in Solvang, just outside Solvang. Oh, Solvang. And to check out this place, this place is fucking awesome. I ended up getting subscribing to their wine, and I just get the Rose A's sent to me. The Rose A, the guy, I go in, they recognize me, and they're like, what's up, machine, I was like, what's up?

They're like, oh shit, what do you want? And I was like, I don't know, tell me. And they're like, do you like Rose A's? That name, it really looks like it says dementia. I think it's hard to get it out of your head. You have dementia. Go to the fucking pictures. Look at their 2000 Rose Day.

Yeah. That's the one I had. And so, 2016 Rose Day, it's go to the pictures of their vineyard. The vineyard's beautiful. And they bring me out of Rose Day, and I said, I never had a Rose Day before. I enjoyed their Rose Day so much

that I get subscriptions to it. So I get a case of it sent. And I just, never had a rosé before. I enjoyed their rosé so much that I get subscriptions to it So I get a case of it sent and I just every now and then like on a Sunday, right? Yeah Hey, let's open over up all our rosé. No one says no to it rosé is like a sneaky drink where you can green It's like the Moses no one says no to him. I mean, I'm sure like people say no, but Yeah, okay, Pino no more. Let's's do a pinot noir. I love it. What are we gonna call it? Oh, just two bears. I wanna know.

Do we get sneaky with it? Now here's the thing. So like, Tom Brady has TB12, right? That's his thing. And I saw it one time and I was like, what's that? I was like a new fitness thing and then I was like, oh, it's Tom Brady 12.

So I was wondering. Yeah, do we do to to to be one C Pino or I we like do we up our brand? I think so. I don't think you write two bears one cave one Two bears one cave wine. I think you do it like that like a to be one C like a little more stylized little stylized Yeah, yeah, like a big two with an upcase B, but smaller, a big one, and a C. Yes. I would look cool.

I got, let me get this, I want to see if I can get our, let's see if I find this, Amanda's her name. Amanda, are you calling her? Yeah, we're calling her right now. Face timer? Sure.

Super aggressive. It's aggressive when it, like, on the show, because of my face is so close to it. She's a great podcast, I forget the name of it, but she sent me like, Amanda, what's up? Hi. Hey, how you doing? I'm sitting here with, hello, I'm Tom.

Oh, hey. How are you? And you're on two bears, one cave, okay? All right. So let's talk about the 2B1C Pinot Noir 2021 that we're coming out with. Let's talk about it. What do you want to talk about?

How, okay, what kind of a financial commitment do we need out of us? And how quick can we get to a billion dollars in sales? Ooh, billion dollars, unclear, but quickly, as far as like getting a pinot noir going, that you guys Oh, $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 to talk with the, like, the wine access team. Yeah. They're the ones that organize all that stuff, but like, I don't know, I'd say, like, depending on what you guys wanted, timeline could be, like, you know, a few months away. Well, I like that. I like a few months.

Well, a few months. Yeah. Quicker the better for us. Amanda, you guys thirsty? Can I ask you something? Yes. Do you feel like a FaceTime call without a heads-up is really aggressive mood? I mean, it was like slightly aggressive,

but I actually, I was like just doing a thing. I'm sitting here like getting ready to go to the airport and I was like, for a crazier FaceTime, you know? Yeah, you're not. Fucking crazy. Don't worry, you'll deal with me more often. So it'll be a little more normal. Okay, she sent me some of the,

but what were the two wines we had on your show? You got to do her show. Love her show. She sends you a box of wines. Great. Not a box of wines, but a case of wine and then you drink two of them and just bullshit about wine and then end up crying at the end. And then what was the, what aggressively crying am I am I underselling that at all, Amanda? I mean I wouldn't say underselling but definitely you had a moment like a couple of them in a row. So wait Amanda, what prompted it? He doesn't even remember. I do remember I just't say underselling, but definitely, you had a moment, like a couple of them in a row. So, wait Amanda, what prompted it? He doesn't even remember it. I do remember, I just don't wanna talk about it!

Daddy issues, always daddy issues. So, oh, by the way, what were the two wines you gave me? One was fucking awesome. The other, they're both great, but one was expensive, I think, right? Yeah, the 2010 Lark Needs Salari. So it was like a vintage wine. It was carbonated from Napa Valley. It's delicious.

And then we had the other Portuguese wine, the kids at Anaval. Great. Awesome. I want to try some. So look, I'm going to get you Tom's info. You guys can do a podcast, but more importantly, let's get our Pino rolling.

OK, please. Pino and Pino and Cal, or just Pino? Oh, let's get our Pino rolling. Okay, please. Okay, Pino and Cab are just Pino. Oh, let's do both. For real? Yeah. Okay, let's do both. Is Cab? Which, which you make more money on?

Pino or Cab? Probably Cab. Yeah, Pino and a Cab then. Pino and a Cab. Okay. Okay. I don't know if you make more money, but you can charge more for a cab than you can for Pino. There you go.

Yeah. Amanda, please enjoy your trip wherever you're going and we'll be in touch. Where are you going? I'm not going anywhere. I'm taking I'm taking away for the airport. I'm asking. Drive safely. Tell them to have fun. Aspen is probably going to do coke and just so you know if he comes back a little jittery, but enjoy yourself. Tell them to have a ride. Amanda, I'm sending a three-way text to me you and Tom about our wines okay. I look forward to it. Thank you. All right. What is it like to be you? You know right now she's like I don't know the

fucking guy. He just I did a thing with him once he just FaceTime me. I love a good FaceTime. You know I FaceTime I FaceTime the wrong person. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm fuck is alive with you? I brought number. He's like, all right, cool. I answered a wrong number, FaceTime, and the guy was like, hey man. I was like, who the fuck are you? That was fun. It was fun. And then I blocked him. Yeah.

I blocked him. I had a dude call me. The other day, I'm walking to this grocery store and I got a phone number from like George. And he goes, I go, hello, and he goes, oh shit. And I was like, hello, he goes, is this Bert? I said it is. He goes, I can't believe you answered.

And I go, that's how it works, man. I go, you call and I answered. And he goes, I just got your number online. And I was like, cool. I go, what do you need? And he goes, I can't believe you're being cool to me. I was like, no, we're talking. We I was like cool. I go what do you need me goes? I can't believe you're being cool to me. I was like no, we're talking. We're on the phone like what's up? He goes oh, I got so many questions. Oh, so many questions. You're an alcoholic, right? And I'm like, okay, you just called me to insult me I was like whatever and then he was like who's the guy? Who's the guy who killed himself? I go Brody Stevens

He goes now the white guy I went yeah, okay, and killed himself? I go Brody Stevens, he goes, now the white guy, I went. Yeah. Okay, and then he, and I go, I don't know, man, I'm walking to a store, I got a calculator. And he was like, oh, it's a calculator. And then I was like, and then he texted me, texted me, and he was, Robin Williams. The white guy?

That's the white guy. Okay. Let's pick up that conversation with that kid. You're gonna call him? Let's call him. No. Why not? Let's face time. No, no, no, no, let's not, no, let's not.

Hold on, if I find Robin. No, no, no, no, don't, don't. I don't want to fucking meet this guy. He sounds terrible. This is like the equivalent of when you meet people after the show and you're like, hey, and then one person goes, hey man, you got time for a quick story.

And I'm like, and then they start the story and like as my eyes glass over there. It gets good Tell you amazing. It's amazing that people like when you watch people who cannot tell a story. Yeah, don't know Like that you can tell that they didn't know they needed an end to it. Oh my god I'll tell you if you're gonna tell someone a story and my wife should listen to this too I'll tell you if you're gonna tell some of the story and my wife should listen to this too. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. As a story has a beginning, middle, and an end. I do this to Christine all the time too.

She'll start telling somebody a story and she'll be like, he tells it better. I got it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha like a kid. Like, whenever she is jumps in and goes, like, actually, that's not what happened. Then she does well. Yeah, and like. But if she starts it, if she starts it, and I cock block her, she explodes. It just, I don't know where to go from here.

Yeah, yeah. Oh. Yeah. You add a lot to a story though. I make a story good. Give a little rattle. I've told you a story, and then you've immediately told it back with shit that wasn't in the story.

I love doing that. Yeah. When someone, I love and you get a good story and then what happens? Someone will tell me a story like my buddy John Mans has this great fucking story. But he doesn't know how to tell it. He just fucks it up. I wanted to do a podcast called Let Me Tell You Your Story. I did that with, I did that with,

that is a good idea. If you didn't already have multiple podcasts, that's a good idea. Well, I did it with edit this name out. Ooh, my OCD is cooking. Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm,, I did it with, right? So I have the audio, I actually give you the audio. So he comes, he's getting ready to do a show and he's gonna tell a story.

And he just was unsure of how to tell. And he's like, I told him on stage, but I just, I need some help. I know you're good at storytelling. I'm like, all right, come on over. So we come over and to the man cave, I hit record and I said, tell me your story. And so he tells me the story and it's like 28 minutes long. And I go, tell me everything. Tell me every detail because there's certain details. Like,

I get attached to certain details and then I go, that's a good detail. So then he gets done. And I go, alright, let me tell you your story. I'm gonna tell it as if I'm you right now and I told him a story back and he is crying fucking laughing And he's like that's so good that really happened and I went yeah, no, yeah I go you just told me stuff. I didn't need to you didn't you you're Attached to certain aspects because you believe that's important right when you when you just do stand up for this long You know this you can you don't need to tell everyone everything. Right. You just need to tell them things that are important. And sometimes if you take out of an information or you pump up an information, it changes the

aspect of the story. All of a sudden, the stories, it was such, and I watched him tell the story on the thing. And it was fucking awesome. And I was like, I wanted to high five of them, like we murdered that story. Yeah, yeah. My buddy, John Manson is the, got the best stories. He's traveled the world, like fucking seven times over. He lives everywhere. He's got the best stories, but he fucks him up.

He has a great story. I've ever tell you the story about the spinning cobra. No. He goes out, by the way, this, if John hears this, he's gonna, that's not how it happened at all, but he's a cameraman, right? He tours with me when we do those tours. He does all my footage.

Oh, so I've met him. You've met him, you've definitely met him. He was, was he at the Rose Bowl? Yup, yup, okay. And, and he, he's with a couple other cameraman and they are gonna go videotape the 10 most deadly snakes, right? So they have 10 of the 10 most deadly snakes. And then what they're gonna do is they have handlers,

they take this Jeep out into the into the desert They're gonna let them go and get them in like almost like they walked up on them, right? Yeah, so they Jesus Christ. So one of them is a spitting cobra. That's one of the snakes they have. Okay. It's not on there right now But but that's one of the ones they have is a spitting cobra. So they do like eight snakes and so But that's one of the ones they have is a spitting cobra. So they do like eight snakes. And so then they go, all right, we're gonna get the spitting cobra out. So they put the spitting cobra and they're like, listen, this is the spitting cobra. Everyone be careful. If it spits in your eyes, it will kill you.

So everyone's got face shields on and they're like, all right. So we're putting out the spitting cobra in the middle of the desert, like four hours away from anything in the middle of the fucking desert in Africa And they empty the bag and the spinning cobra Takes off over the Jeep and climbs up inside the Jeep They're only Jeep and it's up there and they're like did anyone get footage of that? They're like no and they're like fuck they're like all right We got to get this spinning cobra out of the Jeep and they're like okay

Like does anyone want to look and see if they can see it? And they're like, fuck that! It's gonna spin our eyes! So they're like, okay, so what do we do? And they're like, I guess we wait to see if it comes out. And they're like, okay, so they sit in the desert from noon until seven o'clock at night, what?

staring at a Jeep and the cobra never comes out. And now it's dark, and they're like, are we just gonna spend the night out in the fucking desert? And we have a four hour drive in. We still have fucking nine of the most deadly snakes in a bag, and the guys like, listen man, I'm making a call, everyone in the Jeep are driving home.

John Mann said it was the most terrifying four hour drive of just bouncing in a jeep through the desert. Anytime anything hit your leg, he's like, Motherfucker! Like just eyes closed the whole time so it doesn't spin in his faith. They get to the camp and it's so late. They just park the jeep by other tents and their tents are open air and then I get everyone going to sleep. He's like, the cover's still in the fucking jeep.

He spent the night in bed, covers over his face, he's gonna go home, he's gonna go home. He fucks that story up so bad. Did they ever find it? No, they never found it. But he has such great stories, cause he's lived such an amazing life. Like one time, one time, this made me laugh so hard.

He grew up at like 13,000 feet, right? Like that's where he, like. Where'd he grow up? In Denver. By the way, if you do the facts of fact check this story, I'm sure you'll find out, you probably can't live at 13,000 feet. Anyway, it was high altitude.

Okay, so like, he was like, where was this? I'm not okay. I was like, okay, but 13,000 feet, right? Yeah. Him and his dad, his dad, used to. Oh. Oh. How was I? He could live at 19,500 feet.

Okay, for two years. So his dad used to collect honey. And I was like, it seems like an odd thing. And man, it just goes dangerous too. I said, what? And he goes, I remember waking up one morning and there was a bear chasing my dad around to our house trying to get his honey. And I said, really?

And he goes, yeah, and then it got it. And my dad started chasing the bear. And I could not stop laughing because all I thought was Benny Hill music. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da You're looking at a winner and you see a bear chasing a guy and then the guy chasing a bear. He's such a fucking interesting guy but he can't tell a story and Leanne cannot tell a fucking story. Does Leanne tell bad stories? The problem is people get married to things that don't fucking matter in the story. Yeah, that's true. She has this great story.

She has a scar on her chest. It's a great story about how she got the scar. And it was this whole evening of, it's just such a great story of her moving to a new city in Tampa in Atlanta, being the new kid at school on Halloween, going as like roller girl, but then she gets there and the pencil was like, I can't where roller's get to school. So now she just is a kid in her socks.

Yeah. On Halloween, I was like, what the fuck are you? She's a brand new at the school, doesn't know anyone. Yeah. Get somebody to a slumber party. I'm skinny in this story up, because it gets, it's really great. Get somebody to a slumber party.

They decide they're gonna go toilet paper house in that night, which is Halloween. So these girls are like barely, and you know, Leanne's a little bit like, I'll show these motherfuckers. I'm the new kid, I'm gonna show them. I'm gonna throw it over the fucking house. She's gonna know, I'm gonna run around the back of the house.

Throw it from the back of the house over. They're gonna see a piece of toilet paper come over, land at their feet, and I'm like, who the fuck's that? And then I'm gonna come around and be like, it's me and I'll be the coolest kid ever. She goes around the back of the house, gets her toilet paper, goes to throw it and hears, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- She's 10 years old. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. It's a fucking barbed wire fence in the chest That's where she gets her scar hits the ground and the guys in his truck driving around looking for she's 10 years old

New kid at school fucking freaking out covered in mud a four-hour journey through the woods four hours She gets back to the house to this girls house and thinks okay Finally opens the door and they're all having hot chocolate watching a movie and they're like, hey, where have you been? She's like, where have I been? She's bleeding, covered in mud, socks have holes in them. She's like, fuck you assholes. Such a great story, she fucks it up,

when she tells it. I don't think she tells it like that. That's what she does. Because all of a sudden she goes, hold on, I was 13. And you know, that doesn't fucking matter. I Guarantee you if you called her right now she go well. I wasn't brand new. I was like it's better if it's your first day Let's be your first day Do you just that matter other kids are gonna hit you on Facebook. Hey, man. You'd been there two weeks Why would you lie I love it

bothers you so much entertain the people don't get stuck on like I know I got to take a shit for real yeah okay let's take a break I really don't like shitting away from home but I do it you know know. I love it. But I love having, I have a, you know, yeah. Yeah. It's hard when you're feeling that clean. You know, you feel so clean. Yeah, when you go back to just wiping,

I feel like an animal, man. It's funny, we do a reads for it, and they're like, and when you read it, it doesn't sound, but then when you do it, you're like, yeah, what am I just spreading shit all over my legs? Yeah, it's so fucking gross, man. And that, that Tushy, I mean,

this sounds like I'm not saying this has a, but it's like, it's like a fire hose. So you feel like, oh, I'm so, like, you're so, you just pat dry, like there's nothing there. I let it, I let it break the seal sometimes, go in there, do a little work on the inside. Excavating, you know, loosen up for high tide, and then fucking flash flood.

Yeah, feels good. I love shitting. It's great. It's also like such, it is such a, I think that like as a dad and you know, like a career and all these things, you're like, it is really a time to like get away and unwanted. Like I love shitting at home when I go,

I'm going upstairs and I'm gonna take my time. I'm gonna pull up something good to read or watch and really just sit there and enjoy it, especially if it's like a healthy glider, you know, just comes out. I had a good one of those today. Yeah, we're kind of just, if I drink a lot of water,

yeah, all of a sudden my shits are really nice. Yeah, but if I'm dehydrated, it's like I'm, it's like I'm birthing a fucking, a nest of snakes, like little squirty ones. Yeah. I think about shitting a lot. You still have a lot of explosive shits? Not anymore, and well, let me rephrase that.

Okay. I have a lot, like I will have midday, I have some like, farts that shit goes out with them. Yeah. So I just go to the toilet to let this out. Tough fight. Yeah. But I haven't, I've been shitting pretty regularly.

Like first thing when I get up and then, and then in the middle of the afternoon, Georgia, and I love both shit after school. So like the first thing they do when they get up and then in the middle of the afternoon, Georgia and I love both shit after school. So the first thing they do when they get home from school is go take shit. Really? And I'm like, so wait, what were you doing at school? Were you just holding it in?

Ellis shits at 8.30 at night, like every night. Yeah. He comes in the room, he's like, I got a poop. I'm like, well, get started, man. Is he having too many meals? Like that's his clock. And then he brings things to the toilet and sits down like, hold on. What are you doing, man?

He's like, I gotta go over these things. He brings like, toys. Yeah. And he goes, I wanna talk about things. And he starts just asking me like, the crazy, like how do light bulbs work? I'm like, I don't fucking know. Light bulbs, I'm a comedian.

Light bulbs work. He's like, what the fuck do I look like? I'm like, you hit the switch and they go on. He's like, I don't fucking know. Light bulbs, I'm a comedian. Light bulbs work. You're like, what the fuck do I look like? I'm like, you hit the switch and they go on. He's like, how do they work? I'm like, I don't know, a factory fucking makes them. I don't know. Light bulbs work. Yeah.

To the five-year thing I am. Yeah, and then he like puts his ass in the air for you to wipe him. He gets like, he reaches down and like grabs his, like it's like a yoga pose. It's like, this is a perfect way to get wiped. Yeah. He reaches down and grabs just like it's like a yoga pose. It's like this is a perfect way to get wiped. That can take shits that look like a 300 pound man. Look at this shit.

He stands up and there's logs in there like this huge lot. I'm like what are you eating man? It's like a perfect, I guess it's just like a new digestive system. I wanna go back to when I didn't know how to hold my shit. Like there was a time, like, there was a time where your body, wonder what happens? Do you think like cavemen just shit their pants and just couldn't sleep in a bed?

You know, a lot of it. I think everybody would just like pop a squat anywhere and shit, you know? It'd be cool if we could have like a child that you just let be wild. Like just, they should do that with one kid. Just let him, just let him like don't teach him anything. Don't, what is that?

There's gotta be one of those, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're all, the kid didn't totally neglect a child, yeah. We're like, you never taught him how to live. There you go. A feral child. Yeah.

I wanna see a feral child raising the wild. Oh. Yeah, I want to see a feral child raise in the wild Oh That's not real. That's a that's got to be a make-believe picture sure seems like it kind of hot Oh, it's real. She's real She's real. Yeah, that's 1991 Oxama Malaya Beautiful disturbing at the same time in images. She was just, her parents were alcoholics one night.

They left her outside, looking for warmth. The three-year-old crawled into the farm, kennel, and curled up with the mongrel dogs, an act that probably saved her life. She ran on all fours, panted with her tongue out, bared her teeth and barked because of her lack of human interaction. She only knew the words yes and no. She now lives in a clinic in Odessa working with the hospital's farm animals.

Yeah, she got super fucked up by that for sure. Is it another guy? Yeah, in India? I guess you just turn into an animal. Like you just like, yeah, and dogs don't hold their shit They just shit when they want a shit sure they don't other one Grow with no name. Oh my god. This is a real

mood booster man Yeah, there's a bummer That's the difference between like a fun idea and the reality of it. Let's let a kid live outside. It's kind of crazy that like did you guys teach Elastatia and the toilet? Did you do it or did push to it? Everybody was like, it was a group effort, no toilet. Did you do it or did you push to it? Yeah, everybody was like, you know, it was a group effort, I guess.

We were all like, you know, placing them on it and like, Julian, now let's just walk up, sit on that and be like, I poop and they doesn't do anything, you know, so yeah, it's a whole thing. We have a video of George's first shit. Who am I lying to? She did it more, of course. Yeah.

Oh, I didn't, I actually unpotty. I got called in. Hey, check him out. Hey, way to go. Here's a toy. All right. We have video of Georgia's first shit. I'm going to play it in a row.

We have it. We have it. Yeah, yeah. Was he crying? No. Oh, Georgia was crying. And then, I didn't know scared and then crying. And then she changed a subject.

And it was like like watching a person, like watching a feral child go through all the emotions. Yeah, yeah. He was, Ellis was so proud. And then I got him on video, and he was like, I pooped, because I'm a big boy, like he did all this,

like he was really excited about it. And I was like, and I was really into it. I was like, fuck yeah, man. I was really, gonna take shit everywhere. I was like, all this shit in McDonald's,

I got toilets there. Yeah, he was so excited. I everywhere. Oh, it's gonna shit in McDonald's! He got toilets in here! Yeah, he was so excited. I could fuck up to McDonald's today. Yeah? I'm not supposed to eat. What are you waiting? Oh yeah. I'm waiting backwards today.

Yeah, let's check it out. I love your system. The backwards way in. If it's below 244, I'll be shocked. Can I see for you? Yeah. We're within this morning backwards. Latest measurements.

Yep. It is below 244. It's a below 240? No. Oh. Is it 243? No. 241.7. Ooh, we'll take it. Hey, how's a 243. No, 241. 0.7.

Ooh, we'll take it. Hey, how's my muscle compared to what it normally is? 36.4% fat mass. And is that upper down from where I've been? Um, cause my clothes are fitting better. You there? Look at this, I'm on the last buck, buck, buck a hole on this one.

It's nice. That's good, man. I went, I see the the last buck, but buck a hole on this one. It's nice, that's good man. I'm wet, can I see your previous stuff? I'm gonna see. I'm going to this, okay, body fat is down. There you go, yeah nice, body fat's down. Muscle mass is the same. So you lose weight.

No, muscle mass is up. Like it was at 60%. 60% and now it's at 60%. BMI is the same body water fluctuates. Why is your fucking flosser on the table? Is this how I was picking out my teeth? Why are you taking this shit? Jesus Christ. I love it So the two people I'm closest to are just absolutely disgusting with this. Oh, I'm a floss guy. Yeah, I got it

I floss I got it. I saw the I saw the pictures Jesus Christ I can't believe when like I was talking to Chris to Stefano and he was like said something he was yeah I don't floss and I went that's crazy I was like, but you don't probably, yeah, I don't floss. And I went, that's crazy. I was like, well, you don't floss. He goes, I'm not like a flossing guy. And I was like, what do you do? You just brush your knees, shovel the shit

between your teeth. He was like, kind of. I love flossing. I remember one time I was flossing, and I popped a crown off as I was flossing I popped it off and I went oh Fuck and I like goes and that's why I don't floss What what's the you said that the gay bar lance bass is opening the world's biggest gay bar in boys town Where boys town's west Hollywood? I didn't know it was actually called Boyz Town.

It's actually called Boyz Town. I thought that was like a slur, but he's opening. Mega nightclub. Mega. You know how much money that's gonna make for him? It's a, by the way, all we should do is just open gay bars in neighborhoods like West Hollywood. I don't think we can.

Why can't we open it? Because we're not gay. We can still open one. No, because then we would put stuff in and That gave people like um we don't do that. No, we just we put demos on all the seats You just all you do is my question is what makes it a gay bar? Is it the name? Well, because like do they know what it's gonna be called?

I said it says own website up already so there's gotta be some website. Let's check out Lance Bass's website See this is something big is coming. I would have spilt that with a you in the USA The biggest gain nightclub in the USA. We should see a lamp This one's up to do it. It's gonna be like a fucking casino. It's gonna be fucking in the Hot what happened was all the gay bar now all the good But all the big gay bars a lot of them close or nightclub. We went one time Do you remember I was so much fucking fun? We went to a gay nightclub with our gay trainer. Yeah, and What dude when was that? I we met that's got to be fucking 2009. It's got to be, it's dad's a long time ago.

And we went, we went to, he was Australian, he was Chris Thai Walker. I don't think we once that out there. Sure he does. He does? Yeah, why not? Okay, I had him on my podcast one time. Oh, okay, sorry, I didn't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Chris Thai Walker, he's a great trainer. He's still his great trainer. Yeah, yeah, he's great. He went to Barry's boot camp. He was our trainer. He's gorgeous. And we were like, you're such a stud. He was like, I'm fat and I'm slow right now.

And we were like, oh, I guess we have body just more for you. Yeah. He was totally yoked. And he was like, I need to get on my shit. And we're like, we're about us. We're at the end of the night. We were wasted. And he was like, you guys want to get pizza? We look at each other like, well, for trainer was gonna get pizza.

Yeah, he's like, one piece isn't bad. We're like, okay, I get free. Yeah, yeah, we mean one pizza for each of us. We had so much fun that night. Yeah, that was like, that was like, that seems like a different lifetime. He called me. It was so long ago.

We did the class and then he was like, I, what did he say? He's like, he's like, so what do you guys so long ago. We did the class and then he was like, what did he say? He's like, so what do you guys or friends? And we're like, yeah. He was like, you guys wanna go out with us? And we were like, yeah. Yeah. And so we went to the Abbey.

Just like the famous. The famous. You see if the Abbey's still open. It was so good. I remember though that I was holding on to you. Best gay bars in Los Angeles. Yeah, yeah, Abbey's fucking awesome. But I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember. I remember. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you.

I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you.

I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you.

I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. I remember though that I was holding on to you. that up. Yeah, it was really fun. He typed in the Abby WeHo. Yeah. Like super specific. Yeah. And it showed up right away and he's like, click, click, click. Now he's already on their site. Yeah. If we ask him anything else, he can't find it.

Yeah. But the, I think we just found out something about Nidov. Yeah. That he is connected to the scene. Okay. Let's go. The Abby WeHo. Have you been there?

Uh, no. Is Nidov gay? I don't know. I am not. He's not prove it. Suck my dick and tell me you don't like it. I don't like it! I want to see the look on your face when my dick goes in your mouth and I'll tell you. This feels like a good gay sight.

Like with just smoke and the drink pouring. Yeah. And if they could just come up and just abs we'd show up behind there. That's what it's missing. There was one, when I lived in Silver Lake, remember I lived in a, on Hyperion, like down. So there was a big gay bar there.

And they had like, what was it called? Like finger my ass Tuesdays or something. And like, there was it called? Like finger my ass Tuesdays or something. And there was a large, Christina went and met somebody there for a mid afternoon drink. She goes over the bar. There's a huge mural of a guy's spread butt cheeks and his asshole on the bar.

See, that's a kind of gay bar I would open. That's what exactly. Like I'm not giving Lance Bass notes, but if he wants to take him he can. Okay. But like, how, what is he gonna do to make his bar feel gay? You don't think he's considered this? No, like, I'm not, yeah, I'm kind of curious though.

Like, what would he, like, what would you do? Like, just make things shinier or cleaner or like. Yeah, I mean, style wise, they're gonna go, they're gonna have it. But like, what, wouldn't straight people like that also? Oh, yeah, I think that like, it's probably gonna be more slick, you know, like sleek sexy, like the lighting, like your, like, lots of glass mirrors.

I think I would like a gay bar also. Like, I love the acid. I thought the Abbey was cool as fuck. Yeah. And so, but like got what is he do, what do you do when you're open in gay bar? Like, I get it. If you open like a, I don't think you can open a straight bar.

I think that's, you know, I love to do that. But if you were gonna open a straight bar, you don't just put flags outside. I gotta remember the name. I don't remember the name. Of the one that was by the Silver Lake House, I gotta remember this and I don't remember. She told me, hey, hey, so we're doing the podcast.

What was the name of the gay bar on Hyperion? I know. Oh, my MJ. MJ's, and then what was their special night? It was like, fuck me on Tuesday or something? Yeah, hold on, fuck, it was, it's like, fucking every fucking Tuesday yeah but there was like a them right and didn't you say there was a picture of

a guy's asshole over the bar yeah it was like fisting Tuesdays and it was a guy with his assholes really was i thought you were joking no man i guess she you went and met somebody there one time for a drink i did i met a gay guy there yeah for we were just chatting about some job we had. Wait, it was called, Oh, these guys.

It was at every fucking Tuesday or so. Yeah, mail menu. Yeah, hello. I just found it. It has to be a T-word. Yeah, I know, it was like, it's like, this thing. This thing Fridays?

No, it was Tuesday. It was Tuesday. It was Tuesday. It was literally that crazy. And it wasn't in a predominantly gay area. It was just this one hyper gay place. Like you'd want to be fair. 17 iconic gay places in LA. To be fair, the gym on the street that I went to

was hyper gay also. All gyms. Oh yeah, no, this was different. All right, I gotta run. Thank you. I'm gonna remember it in a second. I'll say it. Okay, all right.

All right. Um, where are the iconic, the shaman? The shaman. I love gay bar names. That's a good name. Gay bar names are the best. If you got to town and you're gay and someone's like, oh, you're going out tonight and you're like,

where should I go and they go? I'll meet you at oil canaries. You know, you know you're gay and someone's like, oh, are you going out tonight? And you're like, where should I go? And they go, I'll meet you at oil canaries. You know, you know you're getting fucked that night. Like, for sure. Meach up at the soft pretzel. You're like, what's that? Castita del Cąp, or that could be... That could be... I don't know.

Atkbar is on the east side. I don't know. I've been at Eagle LA. That could go either way. I like when it's really like the spike latent, you know, revolve rage. That's super gay. Rage. Yeah. That's when you know you blame your daddies fault line. That's pretty good. Yeah. Fizzers. Yeah. That's pretty good. The Abby. Yeah. The Abby we know. Silver platter. You're getting fucked there. Jalisco bar. Holesco. Is that what it says?

Yeah. The new Holesco bar. Union. Maybe I'm the these one. What's he gonna name it? Yeah, I don't know. Rooster fish. Yeah.

Rooster fish. That's a lot of ripples. Just sounds gay. I love it. I'm gonna go to club ripples. Yeah. Jumbo's crown room's gay? It wasn't. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I love it. I'm gonna go to club ripples. Jumbo's clown room's gay? It wasn't.

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I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. I've been there a while. It's gotta be like, some shit. Somebody's like, you might go to Jumbo's clown room and I was like, what's that? And they're like, you see some fucked up strippers? And I was like, oh, that feels like big city stuff. You know, it was, and you go and it was like, people would joke and say it's a stripper that you wouldn't want to see at a strip,

but then it would be a show. It would be like a cool stripper actually. I've only gone once and I don't really remember it. Oh, well, yeah, okay, Burles Club, but there would be, you know, I thought they were naked, yeah. That remember when that was a thing, Burles Dancing. Yeah.

And you'd like, I just find it frustrating. Yeah, I'm like, take them off. Yeah. Fucking rub your ass all my cock. Yeah. Like a fucking stripper. Yeah. What are you doing?

I don't wanna see your fucking dance. I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, there are like Taunting and teasing no spread your legs. I'll tell you what you want to go see fucking great dancing go to a black strip club Yeah, dude. Yeah, what's the one what's the one in Atlanta Atlanta stars? Fuck It's it's it's in Atlanta and we went we went for a batch of part and we all are so black and yeah, urban strip clubs. It needs it. It's a black strip club. Uh, go to the, uh, yeah, that result. Man, you see magic city, magic city. Yeah.

You see the jit dancing. Oh, yeah. Like those those women have chops like you go to like a fun Also, you you have to arrive with game like that otherwise, you know, you got impressed. Yeah, it's yeah It's totally like it's other level. There's one is stars the one here. I don't know Is it check is there is it stars? Los Angeles strip club. I swear that's the one. We went for a bachelor party and it was a fucking blast. I mean, I remember girls just, you'd watch a chick climb to the top of the pole

and you're like, what is she doing? Time to top pole, flip upside down and then... Zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid-Zid- I wonder if like, like Mary Lou Ratten could just fuck off a stripper pole. It's a good thing to put out there. Like, it's a gymnast out there? Yeah, just fucking, how impressive do you think Mary Lou Ratten would be? By the way, I'm sure she's Christian. And isn't she, what is she like, fucking 55 now or something?

I'd still pay for it. Really? Would you pay to see Mary Lou Ratten? How great would it be to get a lap dance from Mary Lou Ratten? I'd be like, to get a lap dance from Mary Lou retten? I'd be like, but you got to talk to her. I think I'm going to let you keep this fantasy. I love Mary Lou retten.

She saw, oh, Maria Sharapova. But she, she would have that snarky Russian attitude and that makes me dick hard. Who's Who's the best guy to sign up for that? Oh my god. Yeah. And like her disdain. She is intense too. Oh yeah. Her disapproval, I'll be like, I'm gonna come now.

Yeah. Oh I guarantee you, if you premature ejaculation, be raged. Oh and then I'd be like, oh here comes the second load. Maria Sharropova. Is she plays in like celebrity tennis matches now, right? Maybe, I don't know. Yeah, she's not an active pro anymore.

She was, I mean, I don't mean this respectfully, but she was like, never like top 10, right? I know, I don't know. I don't know her highest ranking is. I actually don't know. I remember that, oh, she played a full match with the US Open last year. Oh, shut up. Yeah, I don't, uh, oh, she played a full match with the US open last year. Oh, shut up.

Yeah, I don't think that was for five. Three weeks ago, three weeks ago, she just played it. No, that's, you know, that's, you know, it's one of the six. So we type in, uh, oh, and that other one is also uploaded, mate, May 3rd. That doesn't mean that. Yeah, let's go, let's go hottest female tennis players. Let's go. What's the hottest one?

Also this finite, what was the highest Sharapova was ever ranked? Like highest ranking Maria Sharapova. Yeah, it's gotta be, let's see. Yeah, she, she's only 36. She was number one. No, no, no, no, she's not. She was number one.

She was number one. Yeah, August 2005. She won, she won the Australian Open, you know, eight. Okay. Yeah. Who was who am I thinking up? Anna, I'm not thinking of Sherpo. I'm thinking of someone else. There was another on a corner. Coba This is a corner. Coba is the one that was like a smoke show, but wasn't a great tennis player, right? I don't know. She is gorgeous. Oh, and she was with and reek egg glacis. Yeah, and we can't glacis is gorgeous. What was her highest ranking? He's good looking guy. He is a good looking guy Is he a good singer? He's pretty popular. I had number one number one

She was a big double the doubles play at 9902 Jesus Christ. So she was good. Who is the one that sucked? I don't know In America the glaces is gorgeous. Did he ever write any songs or sing these songs or do we just know him from his dad? No, no, he had he Right, I don't know what is he saying he had huge songs yeah for real? Yeah, yeah, yeah, like English He probably had the yeah, he had the one of the biggest songs at one point hit it But I never heard of it. You probably did. I love not hearing of things famous American songs By Yeah, yeah, by Lamos. That sounds like a ripoff of the rhythm divine

You remember this song. Yes, you do you know you like it like that Yes, I like it like that. Is that one? Is that the song? I like it like that. I like it like that. A little hotter. I like it like it's all food. Flip it over one time.

I like it like that. Okay. I like it like that Okay Loporti Loporti Loporti Yeah, okay, there we go look he's already about to dance yeah, it's about 10 favorite songs and Rika Eglace this is ever sung Number one be with you. Oh, yeah, that was huge, man. Be with you.

If we could play them right now, you would recognize all these. Play once where I can hear it. So I go, oh, that's in reggae, glazies. Yeah, get your, yeah, you'll definitely recognize it, man. 29 million songs on by-lama songs. Some of you's, oh, I love this ad. Doesn't Ben Ascreen, if you say it quick enough, sound like a medication? Yeah, Ben Ascreen. Yeah. Have you been on Ben Ascreen?

Ascreen. I asked you a doctor about Ben Ascreen. Ben Ascreen. Ben Ascreen. Yeah, it does. You're at you know it? By lambs It's I know tonight we're gonna dance. I Like to ride horses also. I don't I've never heard this song Really? Let's see. What does he say? You remember this? Really?

I've never heard this song. For real? Do you think I would where would I stumble on this song? It was like these his songs were all pop hits These what the English-speaking ones are all get to the get to the part Okay, this is the hook coming. These, the English-speaking ones are all. Get to the, get to the part. Okay. This is the hook coming. Oh, I've heard this. For the rhythm, big hit open by Lamos. Okay.

At the rhythm, at the bottom by Lamos. There you go. That's good, man. He's got like 10 like this. English-speaking hits, yeah. That's it. Oh yeah, that is English. I was it's you know, it's I guess it's crossover. I wonder if they've got a wonder if they've got the same thing in Spanish speaking. Like if there's a...

An English speaking person who does a Spanish version? You know, yeah, just maybe I'll be ahead. And they just like totally butcher it. And then I do all the things in Spanish where I sing all the lyrics but the choruses and and we dance That's good idea What do you think of, by the way, because I saw this the other day, and it's, you know, it's a few weeks old now,

but still, it's just interesting. Do you think that Chet Hanks deserved all the backlash for his white boy summer comment? I'm gonna take an unpopular stance here. Okay. And defend Chet Hanks. Okay, let's hear it. Now, have you enjoyed? Maybe we should, for the people who don't know,

just play them the clip. Yeah. It's set up. Yeah, you want it, you want it, just to like refresh. Oh, I've seen it a hundred times. Well, I believe you, but I'm saying there's people listening who are like, I don't know what you're talking about. So let's, you know, let's, is there a copyright problem?

Yeah, we'll figure it out after the fact. Okay. Yeah. Let's see. Is there a copyright problem? Yeah, we'll figure it out after the fact. Okay, yeah. Let's see. Hey guys, look, I just wanted to tap in really quick. I just got this feeling, man. There's a lot of stuff. There's a summer is a...

It's about to be a white boy summer. You know, take it out, you want it. I'm not talking about like Trump, you know, take it out you want, I'm not talking about like Trump, you know, NASCAR type way, I'm talking about, you know, you know, me, me, I'm John B, Jack Harlow, type way boy somewhere, you know, let me know if you guys can fly with that. Okay. Alright, you're ready for all those things. So, since we're not going to play that at all, to refresh people who don't know, I mean, you can look it up if you want to,

but Chet Hanks is sitting in a car and he says, I think we're about to have a white boy summer. Take it how you want. But it goes, I'm not talking about like Trump, like, mega pickup trucks. He says, I'm talking about like me, somebody else, Jack Harlow, there's gonna be a white boy summer. And then the internet exploded on this guy. Who he seems to get himself into these things. You mean when he was talking in Patois?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was a big one, white boy summer. Did he release his own? Okay, yeah, well hold on, what you don't know is he had already made the merch. Oh. When he is doing this video, he's like, dude, this is gonna be insane. Oh yeah. A merch coming.

You know he's sitting on a song. Yeah. So this is, so I hope you're ready for this because this is how we're gonna be billionaires, okay? Yeah. That's how we're gonna be billionaires. Oh my God. I'm gonna defend Chet Hanks first.

Okay. And I know no one on the internet wants to hear any defensive Chet Hanks, but I can do it very simply. Okay. Tell me. Do you enjoy the movies Tom Hanks has made? Yes. Do you enjoy them enough to maybe understand that Chet Hanks is how the sausage is made? You don't get to make all those great movies and not fuck up at least one of your kids.

Okay? Yeah. Did you like cast away? Yeah. He had to lose a lot of weight for that. Sure. He had to be on an island for like fucking three months. Yeah.

Chad Hanks was probably playing literally baseball at that time. Wondering where his dad is. Yeah. And his dad was doing that for us. Right. His dad was doing that for us so we could enjoy a night out with our girlfriends watching a movie,

maybe finger fucking in the back of a jettah. Yep. Tom Hanks did that for us. And now we have to understand that that's the tax we paid for all that enjoyment is Chet Hanks. That's true. So if you enjoyed the movies of Tom Hanks, then give Chet Hanks a pass and say, you know what, I love your dad this.

I love your dad so much, I'm willing to just giggle at White Boy Summer and not let you up. Now, if you do not like the movies of Tom Hanks, if you are like, got lost on Joe in the Versus of volcano and you're like, I can never forgive him of that, then you can light up Chet Hanks. But if you like the movies of Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson have made, and there have been some fucking bangers, pull up Tom Hanks' movies. Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson have made and there have been some fucking bangers. Pull up Tom Hanks' movies. Tom Hanks is just a regular dude.

You know, the people put a lot of shit on this guy, he's a regular dude who had a dream about being a movie star and he has made amazing, amazing fucking movies. Sully, what's it, he did all the fucking, all the movies from that guy wrote the book about, the guy wrote the books. The Vengeee Code? Yeah, he wrote, he did him furno, the Vengeee Code. He did. All the movies from that guy wrote the book about the guy wrote the books The ventricot. Yeah, he wrote he did him for no the ventricot He did Dan Brown. Dan Brown. He did the book He ever see the movie where he is the gangster who kills people and him and his son What's that movie?

Who who Tom Hanks was in the movie wrote the tradition road to tradition such a great movie Yeah, it's such a great movie. That's with um, uh,'s with one of his last movies, right? What's the Paul Newman? Yeah, it's so good that I could ignore Chad Hanks going boomer cloud boy, a guy boy, a guy me Chad Hanks. Hey, welcome to white boys summer. I I'm willing to you got that down pretty good. Yeah, boom, a guy boom. Yeah, there you go. He's he's that good of an actor that we have to forgive Chad Hanks. I'm with you on that. By the way, Christina just remembered and she's right. It's rim job Tuesdays is what it was at MJ's. I'll take a margarita salt.

Oh, yeah. And they had signs in the bathroom telling guys not to fucking the stalls. I bet that stops people. You're like, oh, yeah, it says not to, oh, fucking. So that's my point. That's a pretty good defense. Is it, that's how you make the sausage.

Is that you're gonna, look, he got one great kid. Colin Hanks is a great fucking kid. Got his head screwed on straight. Yeah. Good actor too. Good actor, great producer. I like this documentary about fucking tower records. Yeah. He seems like an all-around amazing kid

You're not gonna hit it out of the part out of the park with all your kids Do you feel like you feel like the same is gonna happen to you and me? You're one good one. Yeah, I got one good one and then I got a DJ I Got it. I got someone who's gonna want to do dad. I got an idea. Can you get your drone and film me doing DJ stuff on top of a mountain Yeah, but like okay, I love you Georgia. Can you work your drone and film me doing DJ stuff on top of a mountain? And I'll be like, okay, I love you. Georgia, can you work the drone please? And she's like, Dad, I've got work. And you're like, you have a job?

Yeah, you get a chat, Hank's. And you just gotta forgive him. Now, look, I think White Boy Summer was a, maybe not the best idea. Yeah, that's why he didn't have a bestie to workshop. You're thinking run stuff by Colin. Colin's gotta say it's great. Yeah, hey, Colin, you think it's good to have White Boy Summer? Yeah, I was like, nah, that's not gonna be received well. You're thinking run stuff by Colin Collins gonna say it's yeah, he's good to have white boy summer Yeah, it's like nah, that's not gonna be received well current climate

You know he has all that merch. Oh, yeah, and you know that he went he was not like let's pre-order and see what comes in He's probably like yeah 10,000 units He's got a fucking hey, a container full of fucking white boy summer merch. And he just said, check it. Here's where we make a million dollars. Okay. We write a song called white boy summer to help him.

No, no, no, no, we pivot. Okay. And it's all about what would a woke white boy do this summer? Oh, a lot of listening, a lot of volunteering. A lot of volunteer work, a lot of being an ally. Yep. And then, and we just talk about our white boy summer and we become allies in it, and then that'll be a fucking smash hit.

He should have thought, he should have thought of this first. He needs our us as friends. He definitely needs us as friends. Honestly, if Ted Hanks was like, here's, this is my thing. I told you I'm a fan. All you gotta do, I'll get your numbers, hit us up, I'm sure your dad can get our numbers. Very quickly.

Remember, remember, we're not also never gonna knock you on the side of Tom Hanks. That's his kid. How much would you pay for the fucking audio recording of Tom Hanks calling chat going, the fuck did you just put this bud? Come on. What the fuck is white boys summer chat and he's like dad. I'm doing my own thing. Yeah, he's like yeah But I just I just paid a bill

To this merch company if chat for a hundred thousand What is sweatshirts sweatshirts hats and t-shirts fox that looks like Nazi memorabilia Hats and T-shirts Fox that looks like Nazi memorabilia Wait, can you uh What? What? What? My bad shit. I bet we hit type. Wait, can you, uh, can you go to that? I thought you just, not good. Can you go to the store for it? Like, can you actually place the order? Oh, we are done.

Yeah, I'll buy us some merch. Well, like, like show us the store. Oh, please. So, I find the store. Yeah, get, here's our pitch, chat. We're gonna get, your dad's gonna get our numbers every time you have an idea You just gotta run it by us and we'll say good idea bad idea just all universe pie is with emojis thumbs up or thumbs down Yeah, yeah

Or maybe it's Yeah, there we go. I wonder if he follows me on Twitter You think he might I don't know what fucking praying he does He's I like Tom Hanks that much. That what, that you would defend, Chat. Fuck yeah. Yeah, he's great. Tom Hanks is the greatest.

Yeah, he's great, he is great. You know, it's like, you realize we're away from our kids a lot. We're gonna have fucked up kids. Yeah. I already have one. You think he's just fucked up though. What? I don't know, but I'm not I'm not

I can't imagine I just I don't know I don't know. I don't know. I'm I'm just saying you know Tom Hanks has to defend his kid fucking I would love to see a mashup Fucking I would love to see a mash up White boy summer, I wonder if he I wonder if it's interesting that all the ads for white boy summer or the royal family That's a white boy summer. There you go. Chad Hanks with an X. All right. Here you go. So how much are these so we got $75 for the hoodie 25 for the T-shirt. That looks like prison fucking letters. That just looks like you got there and you're like,

guys, I need to be protected and they're like, we're gonna tat white boy summer on you. And these letters, there's some guy entering prison right now and they're yelling white boy summer man. Tank top leggings. Women's leggings? By one of everything. Maybe hold on for a second before you place the order.

Where can you wear this? Like you can't wear it to like the Santa Monica Pier. I mean, because without getting stomped. It feels, what's the other collection underneath it? BQS collection? What's that? It feels like black queen summer. He threw that shit up after.

He's like, oh yeah, oh that's a big pivot. That's a big pivot. Stop hate, same letters, black queen. It seems like he's delivering two messages here. Definitely get black queen Summers merch. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah, I don't think there's a lot of Black Queen's

are gonna be buying those. I tell you man, check, all you need are besties. So are we getting into outside of our two bear sports management? We're gonna get into like music and talent management? I guess. Okay. We just, it's a big umbrella.

We've got a vineyard now? Yeah. We have a vineyard? We've got a wine we're coming out with. We're selling it. Let me tell the story. Okay. Okay.

Liam. Yeah, we have a vineyard. We got to do fucking photo ops in a vineyard. That's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. We'll take the chicks out, go up to some vineyard, take a bunch of pictures of us picking grapes. Whoa, yeah.

Drinking, having, and then white boys on my wife's side. Right. I can tell you the pureness in his innocence is so engaging. Like, I don't really just look at that kid and I go, I don't, I really just look at that kid and I go, I don't think there's any hateness art. Yeah. I just don't think he thinks things through beginning to end. Yeah.

And just goes like, this is gonna be a white boy summer. Yeah. And his car and he's like, and by the way, he doesn't drive an expensive car. You see the interior of it? No, no, it's like a regular car. So he's, you know, he's not like milking his dad for money.

Well, hold on. He could be in a friend's car. It could be one of six cars. I mean, that doesn't mean he doesn't have a fucking crazy car. Just take a look at the interior. I think it's like a sion. Okay. And so, yeah.

I'll see you in some of these videos. What is he? He's been, here's a lot of white boys on Merced. He's got some wild ink, dude. Go to, go to, he does finally he's been here's a lot of white boys summers. He's got some wild ink Do to go to he does have some wild ink. Oh, let's see his workout video. Oh, wow He's a good-looking kid he is yeah All right, I'm doing day 54 105s. Yeah, that's like a love everyone's just going when does white boys summer start? Yeah By the way, that's like a- I love everyone's just going, when does my boy summer start? Yeah.

By the way, that's it. For Inclin, that's a lot. Yeah, that's- He's in great shape. He looks like he could be related to one of the Paul's. Logan or Jerry? Oh, right. Jerry?

What, Jared? What's his name? Oh, yeah, I think it's Jared. Jake. Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, my bad. That's a kid's fucking strong. Yeah, I feel like his's fucking shoulders about the rip out. He's a gold gem. Yeah. Oh my god Okay, it's interesting. I'm always shocked that people decided to wear like golf hats Really? Yeah, I don't wear a lot of golf hats like Nike or Callaway, but I'm a golf you do golf

He's in good shape. Yes, keep go up. I want to see his white boys on her pitch. I want to see no other way All the way To the top there we go. So black queen when I hit listed that yeah, 186,000 views So yeah, man got the black queen shirts and what I really want to see is I want to see some white boys and some black queens wearing each other shirts, but I think I like this one even better man. I don't know about you But I'm just gonna keep rocking this one. Okay, tag me. Yeah, that's That's a six that's totally like I'm definitely not like the black queen Kind of post by the way

Secret time I think you just got beat up by a black chick. Really? Yeah. Like this morning. I don't know, it just came out on TMZ. I was watching it when you were taking a shit and he was bleeding from the face and he says,

you tried to stab him. Stab him. Nice girlfriend. What? His ex, I guess their exes is 47 minutes ago. What? He's 30? He was granted protective order just days after he accused her of attacking him with a knife and a bloody video. What the fuck? Hey, wait, Chad Hanks lives in Texas? By the way, she's gorgeous. Really? Yeah, I saw her in it. She's gorgeous, you gotta

fucking... So that looks like the order of day to January 14 was issued just days after Hanks claimed he was attacked.'s claim. He was attacked Oh, so he was attacked a while ago. Okay. I think maybe the video just came out right Yeah, plus the video you got fucked up. Yeah, yeah, it's on TMZ. You got a TMZ. Oh Yeah, oh man That's pretty serious. It's pretty serious and She looks like she's about like in the middle of swinging right there.

Yeah, I think she hit him with a pan. Fuck! I was it because of the merch idea? Oh man! And is this the work? Yeah, watch the video. Okay. What's an ad coming? yeah free Britney okay this is

just a colored letting his hair grow out that's fantastic good to know all right and then four three two one yeah one Pomp of Pomp of You gonna be with the knife? Shit You're threatening me with the knife? Oh, she fucking smacked him That's a pan sound for sure She's just attacked me with the knife No I didn't

Just attack me with the knife Just attack me with the knife Did I attack? No No No Not at all You push me What? Who's house is you? Did I tap, no, no, no, not at all.

You push me. What? Who's housey? Wow. Now you try to flip the story. Hold on. Wow. There's a lot of people.

There's a lot of people. Wow. She just attacked me with a knife. You want to get out of my face. She just attacked me with a knife. There's the proof. She's mad because I caught her stealing. Stealing my face. She just attacked me with a knife. There's the proof. She's mad because I caught her stealing. Stealing my money, taking my credit cards and charging her rent to them. Oh, this shit like that.

This breaks the point. He needs friends. Oh, man. He needs friends. That's all he needs. Man, I've bummed me out so much that you're in a situation where you, oh, that just bums me out. But it bums me out for a human. I know most people find that absolutely hilarious cause it's chat hangs and it's like an easy shot. It just bums me out that anyone would ever be in a situation where maybe people will be taking advantage of you because your Tom Hanks on.

Right, right. Do you, will you wear white boys' summer gear? I don't think I will. What about black queen summer? Yeah, I will. Yeah, I will. I will black queen summer. Yeah.

Is the watch is just to see, just to be checking out at galsons and just watch the catch your look at you and look at your face and go and be like You're like you're my queen. Yeah, you just walk out like me summer. Okay, like me summer All right Let's wrap up. Okay, all right. Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. I'd be birthday. Thank you. Love you Thank you so much. No, thank you so much for that. So it's so much today. It'll be waiting for you in Texas. Can't wait. Thanks buddy. Love you love you Bird time time and bird one goes top the swath the other wears a shirt

Tom tells stories and birds the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean Here's what we call There's one cake No scripts to beat a booze amateur, Pertology, dirty jokes, Rancho Hibri, no apologies. Here's what we call two bears one cake.