2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Ep. 93 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: August 9, 2021

SPONSORS: - Get Bud Light Seltzers delivered right to your door by going to https://budlight.com/delivery. - Go to https://saatva.com/theshit for $200 off your order. - Sign up for your trial at https://Noom.com/BEARS. - Get three extra months free at https://EXPRESSVPN.com/CAVE. - Go to https://WHOOP.com and use code “Bears” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. - Subscribe today and you’ll save 35% by going to https://beamtlc.com/BEARS. - Go to https://TommyJohn.com/BEARS for 20% off. - Go to https://BlackRifleCoffee.com/BEARS today to get the new Cold Brew Packs. Today on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert tells Tom about getting weird haircuts in Serbia and ordering 100 cheeseburgers from McDonald's. Next, Tom talks about doing shows in Las Vegas again, meeting Justin Bieber and taking pictures with TikTok superstar Addison Rae. Afterwards, they discuss how terrible Bert is at keeping secrets, his special relationship with Will Smith and Britney Spears' conservatorship. Last, Tom and Bert talk about celebrities who have gone broke, Johnny Depp's spending habits and Magic Johnson's vacation pictures.

Dean's brother was taking his money and was not paying for it, right? Or is it a safe place? And that's the question I have is, I would love to be in a safe conservatorship where someone, you know, I don't even know what a conservatorship is really. Like, you can still drink, right? 100% Thinking about ethnic cleansing? No, just that surgery wasn't that bad that's surgery, wasn't that bad. Oh, that wasn't that bad, huh? Yeah.

That surgery was like super good. And you can't see the scar at all, can't you? No, no, no. You can't feel it when I do that. I feel it. You feel it tighten up, yeah. I haven't gotten my surgery yet, guys. We, we, whatever, I don't fuck off.

Yeah. If you can't figure out why this is, you've already seen pictures of me. It's called banking episodes. Yeah, it's called banking episodes because someone's going to Making Georgia to sweat his test goes off. Yeah. How long will you be there one month? God damn it. Oh no I know I know and then when you go from there to the road Yeah, I know I have a month off. I will legit month off legit mother and I'm and

You're coming to see me. I know and and I kind of want to bring Eilah. Bring her. I want to bring Eilah, because I think she would. I went, because I told her I said, you know I got Tom Aseidu. She goes, yeah, you know I can go try those, right? Like, oh, I don't think you know what goes riding in Sala.

Can you walk on water? Like, how the fuck you go riding a Seeru? She goes, what's it called when you swing it out? And I go I Don't know she goes Tokyo drift. I Tokyo drift those And I go yeah, I'm sure that's what Tom wants you doing and I'm talking about the time she almost killed me on a seat on a waveruner, right? You can get Worst hurt than this on a seat you way you can get so fucked up And you know can I tell you I should try to write a joke about that. The definite definition of white privilege

is a fucking wave runner. Like one of those C-cats. I'm just kidding, really? Yeah, because you don't really need any talent. You just hop on and think you're killing it. Yeah, you do. You just hop on, you're like, I'm fucking great at this.

That's what it's like being white. You just hop on, you're like going, reeey, like, hey, I got a job at the bank. How did I get this easy? My dad got me the job, reeey, reee a job in the bank. How did I get this is easy? My dad got me the job. Real, real, real. That is actually a really good analogy. Meanwhile, people of color are on the old school jet skis

where you got to try to stand up on it. People of color on kayaks. They're like, come on man. Dude, no, it's yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The fuck is fucking swimming with birds. It has an engine, the sucks and he's just watching a white guy in the center do circles I am a lawyer my dad was grandfathered me and make yours do this. Yeah I used to try it's easier to write jokes when I have someone to write Maybe I'll run all my jokes that I wrote in Serbia by you and then you can punch them up

Okay, so many fucking jokes that are like, that are like, can I tell you the funniest thing that happened to me in Serbia? What? I'm not to keep hashing over this, but at one point they started cutting my hair weird, like they were cutting it and coming to the side. And I was like, and they were trimming my beard odd. There you'll see, there's a,

there's a week period in this movie where you can see my beard's trimmed odd and my hair's combed odd and I said to my hair stylist I said I say hey why that my hair looks kind of odd and she goes yeah I go it's funny and they're doing my stunt doubles hair next to me I go my hair looks like Kazumi's she goes yeah he's your stunt double and I go so you make my hair look like his and she goes, he's your stunt double. And I went, shouldn't his hair look like mine? And she goes, well, it's easier to make your hair like his.

I go, but he's not in the fucking movie. And she goes, oh yeah, good point. And then just does my hair, no, I'm like, oh, what the fuck are we doing here? And then I was like, are we trimming my beard? She goes, I've been trimming your beard a little short here, a little grow it out. So you know, that guy's grown here a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she starts growing out. She's like, oh, it looks like you have a chin, like a fake chin. And I was like, I was like, that's how we say it.

Thanks, Xana. Xana, by the way, it was the best thing in the world. Trimmed all my ghosts. You know those hairs that stick out? Yeah. Just went through with scissors and clipped them all. Oh, that's the best. So you have a flat beard.

Oh, that's nice. So there will be scenes in this movie where I'll be like, that hair is weird. There will be scenes in this movie where you go like that. And I'll be like, hey, he looks odd. Like, I'll tell you the next thing. But then the next thing. By the way, I should do a live podcast of the movie

where I can tell you things. Definitely. And tell you go, okay, that of the movie where I can tell you things. Definitely. And tell you go, okay, that's the day. I had 12 G's burgers. Yeah. I get there's, I mean, the behind the scenes of this is fascinating because I was completely out of control of times.

Like I found out that McDonald's there and I went fucking ham. Me and Isla watched the founder last night. Have you seen the founder? Yes. And so I told Isla goes, what is this? The founder and I go, I go, it's good, you like it. She's like, really?

Cause Isla loves McDonald's. Love McDonald's. So we start watching it. You know, she's like, is it about milkshakes? She's telling local things. I go, yeah, it's a movie about milkshakes, Isla. She was, what's it about? Like, go, just listen.

So then, If I didn't know Isla and I just listen to you tell stories about Ila I would think that she lived outside and and like Would just bring in roadkill for you to fucking she's a wolf She said I swatched her sniff something the other day. She sniffed it and her nose went like this And I went what are you doing she She goes, I tell you sniff. You gotta move your nose around. It catches all the smells.

I went, no, that's not how that works. And she goes, try it. And then I'm like, yeah, kind of. Yeah. Yeah. So we start watching the founder. And she's literally petting the dog. She named after the big Mac.

She's petting Mac, going Mac. All of a sudden she goes, oh this is about McDonald's? I go, yeah, she goes, Mac, this is about your daddy. And she's like, yeah. And then she realizes Ray Croc wasn't the best guy in the world. There's kind of a little bit of a shit. Yeah. And he fucking stole the idea. And then, and then she goes, oh, I fucking hate McDonald's. And I was like, oh, I just ruined McDonald's for her. Now she can't, now she's like, oh, never going to McDonald's again. Mc Donald's is this shit. McDonald's is so good and it's consistent.

Yeah. You go to McDonald's in Serbia, you order 100 cheeseburgers, it's the same thing you get here. By the way, you want to talk about American glutton. They couldn't get the idea wrapped around their head, Tom. They couldn't get the idea wrapped around their head. When I said I need 100 cheeseburgers, the PA was like, I don't think, so the right thing, I said, no.

In America they just go, a hundred. Yeah, and 10? And I go, no, a hundred cheeseburgers. And I go, I'll tell you what, we'll be there all day waiting for cheeseburgers. Give me 40 cheeseburgers, 10 big Macs, 10, just and just make it rain. Yeah. And they just were like, huh? Is, just and just make it rain. Yeah.

And they just were like, huh? I mean, it was like mind blowing that someone would eat like that. How many did you have? I had. By the way, this is the day Mark and I legit bonded. Legit bonded. You guys bonded on that day?

The legit bond. I would think that was the beginning of the day. He was like, I can't talk to this guy anymore. Mark's sitting in the car and I ordered, I think I ordered like 10 big Macs, 40 cheeseburgers, 100 nuggets, a bunch of double cheeseburger. I was like, I ordered everything. And so I just bring a big Mac.

Obviously I brought one to him for me. We're doing the scene in the car. And I just said, and Mark goes, oh, you want big Mac and I go, I brought it for you. And he goes, you got me a big Mac and I was like, yeah, and he was like, I love big Macs. He was having a big Mac in forever. And he's like, you can't tell Mary Lou, this is wife.

And I was like, don't tell Leanne. And he was like, ah, and then we just murdered big Macs in the back of a car. And then every time I get McDonald's, I go, Mark, and you know it, you know it. He eats really clean, but man, he will fuck up a big Mac. So wait, how many did you end up eating that day from the McDonald's?

10 cheeseburgers and two Big Macs. I was out of control. I was out of control. And you can see it on my face. You'll see it on my face. You'll see it. I'll tell you the scene and you'll see it. I'd be curious to see you guess the scene. And you'd be like, this one? No.

This one? No. This one? No, they all look like it. But yeah. And then no fries? No, they're not good for you. By the way, I love oat milk. Oh yeah. I really love oat milk. What were we talking about at the beginning? I feel like we were on a good path and then we...

Yeah. I forget. Hey, I want know about, I wanna know about, so one of the things that was really like, like making me like homesick, was when I got to see you guys do the coolest shit in the world, like fucking Vegas with Chappelle. Dude, that was the best.

Okay, start at the beginning and let me know. Every time my name came up. That was the best. I, Pfft. Pfft. So, Joe had called me a couple months ago and he goes, Hey, I'm doing Vegas with Chappelle at the MGM.

This is a kind of a Gregor fight. Kind of a Gregor fight too. When you and Donald Trump got to hang out. Exactly. You were sitting how close to Donald Trump. I'll get it. Okay, hang on, okay, okay, cuz we got Issa Rae. Donald Trump.

First, I'll tell you this, first I'll tell you this. The weekend before was my, was the first time back in Vegas since the pandemic. It was July, I think second and third. You, Bill Burr. No, this was, oh yeah, my poor people. Everyone was there and everyone sold out. Everything sold out.

So my shows were sold out in advance. My October and January shows are sold out at the Maraj. Like the, like people, once they announce shows are back, it's like demand. I still have, through the roof. A few tickets left for Red Rocks, September 8th. Red Rocks, September 8th. Well, that's outside Denver and that's a 9,000 seat amphitheater.

And we've got about a thousand tickets left. Yeah, it's gonna clean up, it's gonna clean up but go ahead and get your tickets. Get your tickets now. Yeah, okay. I mean, we got a thousand tickets left but clean it up. Let's clean it up, let's clean it up guys. So I get there and you can feel the energy is like in the city. You know sometimes you just someone you're like you can just feel it. So I'm at the Mirage

uh burr is at uh park uh whatever it's called parks. I forget the name of the whatever. No park. I forget the word park is in the is a casino name there. So uh right what's what is the parks? This should be good. This should be good. good parking lot. There's parking lots in Las Vegas Well, I can't go the fucking name Park MGM see oh well, so now here here's my question park MGM is I'm immediately guessing Koreans bought it I have I have no idea educated guess That's an educated borderline racist guest.

Parks a big Korean name, right? Yeah, it's it's a, well, it's Asian food. Hold on, hold on. Is that kimchi? Is that kimchi? Is that kimchi on the front fucking page? Is that an Asian? Is that Korean lady?

That's a good, dude. Well, we do know something about the Vegas. Jamie Foxx, they love Jamie Foxx. We do know this about Vegas. All casino designs, aesthetic choices, everything caters to the Asian community. All of them. Like, that, I don't mean like in a general set.

I mean, specifically, they go, they are our biggest customers and anything that would disrupt or offend the Asian community, Las Vegas, Casinos are like, fuck that. Like we just do, and you can go to most, Casinos, the nice ones, all have like a legit Asian restaurant in there, at least some Asian cuisine, colors, number, everything to cater to the Asian community.

Anyway, I'm there that weekend. It's my first weekend back. It's everyone's first weekend back. Burl is down the street in the park. He's sold out. Chappelle is at the arena on his own. Two nights sold out. Bruno Mars is down the street.

He's sold out. The circus shows are sold out. A couple other big acts also. Everything's sold out, right? And you feel it in this. You're walking through this and you're like, holy shit. It's a lot.

And the staff, some of them, it's like their first, one of my, my, the person who takes care of the talent there, it's her first, she's like, I just got back yesterday. Hey, everyone's really good. I've had a year off, you know? So I'm doing the, the, the, the Mirage and the shows are, but like you walk out, it's bananas. Yeah.

And there's so fun, it feels so fun to be back. And I have a, I have a great two nights there. Like I said, friends, come out to the show. It's a great time. And then I go from there, I think I go here. Yeah, I come to LA, do podcasts then I fly to Texas and then I fly with Joe and his family to Vegas and That's what family want. Yeah, that's cool. They all went and then that's a that's a market difference from when he first started doing MMA fights

Oh, yeah, I'm Eddie Bravo Joey Diaz. Oh, right. I know, it's crazy. So the whole fam is there. And what's so dad like as a girl dad? Is he like a legit girl dad? Yeah, you know, he, what I've noticed is that he talks to them normal. Dude, that makes me so happy. Yeah. I feel like I've always talked to my kids

as if they're adults. Yeah, he talks to them very, like a, oh fuck yeah. Like one of his kids is very, and then they go, oh fuck yeah. Like one of his kids is really funny and then like she'll say funny shit and then she'll repeat it a bunch and he'll be like, it's not funny anymore because you keep fucking saying it, you know?

Like, she'll like that. Like, which is I love, I think. I'm like, that's exactly what I would say to one of my boys. But anyway, we're hanging out. We get there and it's the first night at the arena at the MGM Grand Arena, which is such a famous, of all, you know, arenas and vagas, like that's the one concert fights if you're a fight fan.

I think that's Tyson Holyfield. That's all these legendary fights. And we just walk in, obviously, in the tunnel and Don Elz on stage. So the show's already started and you're showing up? No, I get there just before and they're like shows. And I'm like, when does this shit start? Are you nervous because it's so big?

What is it? 15? Yeah, about 14,000 plus. I'm more nervous, not just the size of it. I'm like, I wonder how I'll be received. Because I've done shows as like a special guest. Yeah. And we're people, like one time I did the grammar scene

in New York, which is a 500 seat venue with Dave and Chris Rock. And they were like tonight's special guest. And you can see people are like, how did you get on that? They loved me. So they. Wait, for real? How did you get on that pool?

Because I know if they're doing 500 seats, this must have been 15 years ago. No, no, this was a, this was like 2016-17. What were they doing a 500-seater for? Because Dave likes doing those too. You know, he, he actually, from what I've gathered, he actually prefers small venues, but you know, the business is there for him for the big venues. Yeah. So, and I did the shoreline with Dave, which is 22,000 seats we did. Jesus.

And that was with like a bigger lineup. But anyways, on that Grammar C show and they go special guest, you can tell the audience is like, is it John Stewart? You know? Yeah. And then I was like,

they were like, Tom Sager and you hear like, like that kind of shit. And I was like, I was like, if it's that for 14,000, it's gonna be like, oh man. So that was my only thought. I was like, all right.

So they call me when he introduces me, it's like, you know, I wouldn't, it's like pandemonium. Yeah. Like full minute of applause, screaming, and I was like, oh my god. And I have a crazy set set like a great set. Then I'm done Joe and then Dave and then to lib quality closes out the show and then the next day they switched it up right and the next day I'm more comfortable because how funny is the lib quality? He's got a great hour. He just did an hour. So, guys just got it.

I've never even heard of him doing this. I know he does a podcast with Joe, who are Dave? Yeah, no. He just did a music set. Oh, he just, oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, that makes more sense. Yeah.

My God, I can't, yeah, that makes a lot more sense. So what we did, the next day, by the way, it's not far off from most deaf doing the fucking thing. Most deaf used to do stand-up. Yeah, okay, so like most deaf, yeah, like if you said it was most deaf, I would know he did stand-up.

No. Maybe he'd, I don't even think he sings anymore. Well, he doesn't, and all he sings, but, Raps. Mr. Yasin Bay. Yeah, I've uh, Raps. Mr. Yasin Bay. Yasin, uh, fuck. It's just dead named him. So the next day, the next day I went like this, the next day was, was,

was Tron, DJ Trama and Talib opened the show. Would you go up to him and be like, Hey, I felt playing basketball. I've had my trauma, I've had my trauma, I've had my trauma. And he's like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, serious drama. And he's like, I want the blue team. Are these the jokes you wrote in circles? Yeah, yeah, do you want to run through them real quick? Yeah. So these day drama and you were like, eh. Drama?

Uh, no, so when Talib opened the show, that was the way to go. Place goes crazy. Then Donna, dude, I get a crazier reception, the second night, because now I'm ready. Oh, so you did, you did two. We did back-to-back nights. Oh wow.

And then Joe annihilated. Then Dave, and then Dave, and then Dave, Dave is like an event. So like, there's just, you know, celebrity, and then there's an after party, and the after party, you know, action-broncin'. He looks great, buddy. He looks great.

Erkle was there. Is it Leo White? Yeah. He was there. He was a lover. Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox. They came to the show, and then they're at the after party.

Then she's gonna Kelly looks 20 years younger. It looks like he's getting younger. He looks like a teenager. Yeah, last time I saw him, I thought he was like fucking 40. And now he looks like he's 22. I'm gonna take whatever the fuck he's taking. I guarantee you he's on Pep Tile.

He looks super young at this thing. Look at him. He's, by the way, he's one of the best live shows I've ever seen. Really? 100%. I perform with him live at, at, um, Rover Fest. And I've never been blown away by a guy who put out more on stage. I mean, he fucking, he, I've never seen someone fucking lay it down the way this guy did. Fucking 100% of worth the ticket price. That guy. We're at this after party and Drake is at the after party.

Which is huge Drake fan. Of course you are. My favorite song these things is the one, let's take it off. Whatever, I don't know. By the way, I was talking to Jimmy Taitro and he goes, the fact that you don't know who Drake is, it's kind of sad.

It's a little like, it's kind of nice. It's like not knowing about the coronavirus and living in a fucking hot on top of a mountain. I think it'd be like, somebody being like, you know, I saw this LeBron James highlight and someone going, who's that? And you're like, how do you not? Would be nice to not know about that shit though, wouldn't it?

Really? Yeah. Like, I mean, but you'll love this one. I don't know how to tell you this one. So, shows are, and I mean it, like, I can play you audio of the shows where you'll be like, oh my God, it sounds crazy. It's that many people and they're all going nuts. And it's like, it's part of it's just like the energy

of like, shows are back, you know? Yeah. Everybody had great sets, shows are crazy. So I'm at the next day, I'm at the Connor Dustin Porier fight, and it's a scene. All everybody that was at the shows and at the after parties now at the fights, like... Oh, so that's...

Oh, so your first night's fun, but the second night after party is all the people that are now going to the UFC fight with Conor McGregor who also were at the show. Yeah, wow. So I'm walking one time, so I get to sit behind Joe. Like, so there's the cage, there's Joe and, and, uh, Cormier, and, and then I'm sitting behind him. Like, it's the bet. It's the best seats in the fucking arena.

And I gotta go pee, right? So I get up and it's mehem. I can tell there was rumors about Trump coming, but I could tell he was coming by one of my pee breaks. Because when I got into the tunnel, I tried to make a right. And so he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, where are you going? I was like over here. And he looked at my badge and he's like, you can't go over there with that said he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, where are you going? I was like over here. And he looked at my badge and he's like,

you can't go over there with that. I was like, really? Like, because I'd been back there before and he was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you gotta go that way. I was like, all right. And then I go pee and I come out and I see a bomb sniffing dog like, you know, with like a cop when I was like,

oh, this thing for a fighter, you know. And then I turn up my head this way and I see a hundred Las Vegas Metro police officers, right? And I was like, oh, shit, like this is deaf. I come back and I go, Trump's coming. Oh, you need to eat there were rumors, yeah. There were rumors days before. But I was like, when I saw that, I was like,

that's not normal. Yeah, there were rumors days before, but I was like when I saw that I was like that's not normal. Yeah Then I'm coming back and I feel a tap on my leg and I turned and it's Justin Bieber and he go I swear to God. He goes on big fan Okay, this is a fucking Jenna Brandis. It's not this is a general I swear to God. Why you really fucked yourself with the general Brandis I this I swear to God Listen, I swear okay. I the general ranters. I, this, I swear to God. Listen, I swear. Okay.

I swear on my boys. Okay, okay. Where's the picture of you and Bebes? Keep going. Okay, all right. Tell me about this fantasy. You were, so they put you on an anesthesia and you meet Justin Bieber.

I swear to God. I swear to God. He's actually on like, hey man, I'm a big fan. He goes, I'm a big fan, and he extends his hand, and I go, oh, thanks man. And then I ask him, I go, how was your show? Because the day before I'm riding the elevator in my hotel, and this guy goes,

oops, girl, I'm a huge fan. I go, yeah, he goes, yeah, I go, you come in the show, he goes, yeah. I go, all right, man, I'm gonna get over there. He goes, for the beeps, and I go, hey, dip shit. You think I'm going to my show. And he was like, oh, now I'm going to be back. I was like, you're not a big fan. So, he's not a big fan.

So I knew he'd had a show. He was so thankful that I asked him how his show went. 30 seconds. Does he follow you on Twitter on Instagram? I don't know. He should. So, okay. So, you and Justin Bieber and Donald Trump are in a...

No, no, no. The Bieber story is 100% real. I swear on my children. Okay. I swear on my children. Get them on the horn. I can't get them on the horn. Does Bebes follow it?

Bebes doesn't follow any of them. Anyone we know. All right. That doesn't mean that this didn't happen. Okay the horn. Does Bebes follow it? Bebes doesn't follow any of it. Anyone we know. All right. That doesn't mean that this didn't happen. Okay, okay, so keep going. So, so wait, so tell me about Donald Trump, so they walk him in. Bebe only has 185 million followers.

Wow. Do you realize what he could do? To your tour dates? If he was like, make sure to go see this guy a lot. By the way, you realize how many people would be walking out of your shows a lot? They're like, just a beaver sent us. I can't wait to see what kind of f***** in front of the,

what the f*****? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and they would have ruined them. But how much fun would your fans enjoy watching Bieber's fans walk out? I have to say, I have to say, it was a very nice celebrity interaction. Oh yeah. Like, for, you know, I don't tap people's shoulder a lot, the fact that he did, it was very nice. Do you realize there is not a celebrity alive that I wouldn't tap and go, hey man big fan. Oh I know.

Oh, you know who I did it to though? I did it to somebody who I didn't know because I thought it man big fan. Oh I know. Oh you know who I did it to though? Who? I did it to somebody who I didn't know because I thought it was funny. Who? If you go to my Instagram? It's a Ray. Addison Ray.

Addison Ray. Who's Issa Ray? That's an actress. Addison Ray. Who is Addison Ray? She got in trouble for like a TikTok dance with someone in the background or something. Did I tell you the Addison Ray story though?

I don't know who Addison Ray is. If you scroll down you see me with having a picture with her right there, right? So, here's the story with this. This is at the weigh-ins. This is when I believed you got hair transplant. So fun. He hit me up from Serbia. I go, you got hair, I was sitting with Jimmy Teatro and I go, he goes, man, Tom's a big hot guy.

And I went, oh my God, you got hair I was with sitting with Jimmy Teatro and I go he goes man Tom's big hot guy and I went oh My god, you got hair transplants anyway what we go We got off first get hair transplants and and Tom so come up on it He they put them underneath his hair transplants at the same time. I go cuz he's a double up motherfucker God damn it and then you like don't tell anyone. I told everybody. I told everybody. I was like fucking He got hair without me. You're the worst secret guy in the world. You can't keep, I didn't do it, but you still are the worst. Do you wanna hear how bad I am?

Do you wanna hear how bad I am? God, can you imagine telling him something of substance? You're like, I need you to keep this secret. You'd be like, I told Leon and my agent and the six friends that were in my car. I told someone, I'm trying to be very vague. Someone told me a some told me a secret and I didn't realize it was a secret. Say how did you not realize it was a secret?

I don't know. I it was pretty private and I and I told and I started telling everyone, right? I didn't realize it was a But I wasn't one even bad secret it was like it was like imagine if you said um I'm trying to make it bland so that the person would know but not everyone knows I'm saying for this abortion, but no no no imagine if you said hey, we're going to Christina's dad's getting remarried. We're gonna go to that wedding. Yeah, I was like oh, okay cool I go he's getting remarried like yeah, fuck and then gives was like, oh, okay, cool. I go, he's getting married. Like, yeah, fuck it.

And then gives me a little bit of like the drama and I go, wow, that's crazy. So then I go around and I go, yeah, yeah, Tom won't be here next week. He's going to a wedding. And then you come up and then you go, and then this is the exact scenario. I'm doing it with you, but that's someone else.

And then I go, so hey, man, you seem like you're in a bad mood. Today and they're like, yeah, like what's going on? And then this person goes, I'm afraid to tell you. And I go, so hey, man, you seem like you're in a bad mood today. And they're like, yeah, like what's going on? And then this person goes, I'm afraid to tell you. And I go, why? And they go, because you tell everyone everything. And then I went, I said, no, I don't. They said, I said, you said, Christina's dad's getting married. We're going the way you told everyone.

I didn't want everyone to know that. And I went, oh, I didn't know. And then they tell me what's going on. And then I get in the car with Andrew. And he goes, what was going on with that, that, oh, I didn't know. And then they tell me what's going on. And then I get in the car with Andrew, and he goes, what was going on with that, I don't, and I go, man, did you believe that I, she said, this person said I can't, can't keep a secret. And he was like, yeah, you can't.

He's like, you're someone you need to establish boundaries with very quickly. And I was like, really? He's like, yeah, you're a bounty breaker. You don't know you're doing it, you're just fucking pulling the Chinese off. And then I go, yeah, they said I can't say it was't know you're doing it, you're just fucking bowling a Chinese shop. And then I go, yeah, instead of can't say it was here, anyway, there's what's going on there.

And I told him and he goes, you just told me, they're second secret. And I went, oh my God, I didn't even know I did it. And he goes, burn, he goes, you just, and I was like, in my head, I was like, I didn't, and I think what it is, I think this is a way secrets work. Secrets are only as valuable as that person is to you. And I think what it is, I think this is a way secrets work.

Secrets are only as valuable as that person is to you. So, hear me out, hear me out. So this is my theory. If you tell me a secret, okay, I told you a secret, hold on, I told you a secret in the car for Starbucks. I told you a secret in the car for Starbucks. Tell me a secret. Yep.

I remember the secret. Please cut this out, okay? I- Okay, okay, okay, yeah. So please cut that out, please cut that out. So I told you a secret in the car for Starbucks. Right. Okay.

See what's up. Here's how this works. Yeah. You are more important to me than the person that told me that secret. I got you. So I will tell you all my secrets. And this is why. So now, ultimately, you tell more important to me than the person that told me that secret. I got you So I will tell you all my secret and this is why so now now ultimately ultimately you tell Lee Ann everything Yeah Yeah, no, but no, but now here's a difference

Certain secrets I couldn't I like certain secrets. I can't tell the angst. I know I can't trust her with them Oh, like so like if you'll, so if, so like. She'll wait, we'll shit. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on. Me and you have a secret, okay? Do you remember the time, me and you have a secret and you looked at me and you said no one knows about this.

Do you remember that? No. Can you fucking write it down or something? Here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you look at me and go, no one knows about this. I go, that Leanne never gets a secret. Okay, I got you.

So that's how my brain works. Right. So like you're the most valuable person to me. So a lot of times you'll get all my secrets. Okay. And so that person that I told you the secret a lot of times you'll get all my secrets. Okay, and so That person that I told you the secret about people below him don't get his secrets, right? But people above him get his secrets, right? That's pretty shitty that I think that way. It is. Yeah You know what? I think it's best if you don't tell me a secret

Yeah, by the way, I want you to know something. I operate basically if I go like, I have a secret, I go like, who can I tell this secret to? And one of my first thoughts is always definitely not birth. Yeah, yeah, I'm a good person not to tell secrets to. Because I'm, and I'll tell you, don't tell me your secrets. I'm not good at keeping them. Yeah, I'm bad at it.

But why do you think, why do you think that you can't keep the secret? That's what's interesting. I have a relative who's similar. And my theory on this relative is that the person cannot resist the attention they get from revealing secrets. Oh, that's a good one.

So, I don't know if it's, I don't, I don't, I'm not saying that, I'm not putting that on you. I know that about this person. No, no don't know if it's, I don't, I don't, I'm not saying that, I'm not putting that on you. I know about this person. No, as soon as you get attention. Yeah. Because I love telling a good story. Today I was backing up my car, and I was, I'd sprayed water to get the dirt off of it.

Yeah. And the hose exploded in my hand. Didn't really explode my hand, but it just broke in my hand. Okay. But as I was telling the story to me, backing out my car to you, I heard me say to you, the phone exploded,

the phone was exploded in my hand, and I got soaking wet. And then I realized in telling you that story, you were gonna see that I wasn't soaking wet, and you're gonna go, did it really explode? And then I got to an argument with you about how I like to tell a story, backing up my car, and I thought-

By the way, we've had this argument many times. Yeah, and I said, and I said, I need you to know how I felt in the moment. And so, and so that's why I, that's why I'll fluff you up because I need you to know where I was. And so I think sometimes with, with a secret, it's never out of the blue.

I never go in like divulge, but if you start talking about something, I got a secret that leaks into that. I sometimes spill the secret. Yeah. I'm bad, I'm really bad with secrets. Yeah. I know this. Like, do you remember Ari told Ari told me a secret one time. This Ari was really hurt by this. He told me a secret in my car, in our car going to do Rogan with you. He told me a secret getting onto the 101. I walked in the door and I told you enjoy that secret in front of him and I didn't even realize

I did it. By the way, that's the other part is I don't even realize I'm doing it the majority of the time. I don't even know I'm doing it. And Ari said to me, I'll tell you one, I'll tell you one, I'll never forget this. And it's because it's not a big deal. Yeah. That it didn't affect our friendship or anything. Oh God, which one's this? This is like, this is so many years ago, but you're living where you lived where you had the rooftop apartment.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That like, that street. Yeah. Street. I don't know if you want to keep that, but we're in there and I had just had like a, I had a little argument with Christina.

Oh. And I told you like when we were like hanging out, like we're having wine like on the roof or something. And I was just like, yeah, I don't even remember the date. I was like, yeah, you know, she says this and she says, and I was, it was just venting. Dude, the next day, we're just at our place and just like bullshit and then I think she's about to leave and she goes oh by the way if you're gonna complain about me to birth just know that he'll tell you and she'll tell me and I'm like what and she

goes she goes yeah he told her and she told me. I was like, okay. All right. And it wasn't a big thing. Thank God, it wasn't like a big thing. Oh. And I was like, to the part, Jimmy, Jimmy Teatro told me a secret that I, I mean, this is so bad.

This is so bad, we're in the pool and we're having a drink. He told me a secret and I called someone and told them his secret in front of him. And he went, what are you doing? And I go, huh? I was oblivious and he goes, I told that to you. And I went, yeah, I'm telling them. He goes, I didn't want to him to know.

I would have told it to him. And I went, oh my God, I don't even know I'm doing it. But like it was pointed out to me. It's like it's impulsive. Yeah, I, it's really bad. And, and it's also the part of what's, I think is, ugh. You know what it reminds me of?

What, it reminds me of telling a kid a secret. Yeah, yeah. I think, I think. Like a fucking toddler. Yeah. Where you're like, hey, and then the kid goes, I don't know, I just say stuff. By the way, here's a real problem with me,

I don't also know how many secrets. So like, I'll tell everything. I'll tell everything. And that gets me in trouble. Like that gets me in trouble is I tell everything. And sometimes you're supposed to like, the way the world works is you should not tell everyone everything.

And when you tell everyone everything, sometimes it makes people uncomfortable. Right. And I don't know. Ah, fuck, I don't know. I'm really bad. Like I use everyone's real name and stories. I mean, when I wrote my book, when I wrote my book,

I remember there was this girl who texted me and goes, hey, I heard I got a shout out in your book. And I was like, my head was like, I can't be good. And I was like, and then I just, it was like, I pray to God, she never reads the book and I wrote back. Yeah, yeah, nothing but good things.

Because if by calling me loose in high school and a slut is a good thing, then thanks a lot. And I was like, but the best is sometimes, and I think this is like Dude, I think sometimes Hardcore people that party is one of my buddies is like fucking legit alcoholic frog addict Almost I'm almost dead Almost dead almost dead And I was with him. I was with him when I got the text and he goes, ah fucker. That's who she was in high schools

No, she is today and he was like, what? And he's like, have her text me. I fuck her and I was like, I was like, yeah, cuz part of me is like Yeah, like like that's fucking horrible. I'm doing it again Like I should I don't know I wish I could wish I could be better at it See that's why I don't get invited to like fucking, I could, do you realize like, I would be like, and then I was backstage and Drake was snorting Coke. Right.

And it would be like, people like, Bart, you can't tell everybody that shit. That was a big problem with that Tracey Morgan story. It's like, at a certain point, I was like, I remember being like, I don't wonder if he didn't want everyone to know that he smokes. Or he'd,

he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd,

he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, Once I fully fucking happened like I can't make that story up. It's too good. It's too good if I can make that story up I wouldn't even need to put a name in it. Yeah, put someone else's fucking name in it

Fuck but I was then I was like there's a there's a fucking big black comic our party with like one of the one of the biggest And I've bit my tongue to not tell these party stories. They were so fucking hilarious Will Smith I tell the story about Will Smith taking me a fucking movie, that's where I met Bismarkey, RIP to Bismarkey. And I'm sure Will was like, hey man, that's my private time. Like don't share that with everyone. Right, but it's a good story and I go, how's that was the secret?

Yeah. Now you thought your dad thought he was gonna fuck you? My dad thought he wanted to fuck me. Yeah, cause he was like, you wanna go to the movies? And I was like, huh? He was like, yeah, let's go to the movies. I'll see it playing Hollywood at 7. I told my dad and he's like, yeah, buddy This is called the cast and couch a lot of these celebrities are so tired of pussy

They just want to fuck young boys. It's all the turns of on anymore. I was like really and he goes I mean I don't know what do you think's more likely? You're so talented. We'll Smith wants to go to a movie with you Or that he's gaining what's the fuck you? I was like I'm getting fucked. And by the way I'm sure you're getting fucked. Big Willie style. Now, what are we talking about? Addison Ray at the U.C. Who is Addison Ray? Okay, so this is the best.

This is what I do love stupid shit. So, I'm at the UFC weigh-ins, okay? And I'm in the second row. That's the second row in the arena, where the fighters get on the scale, you know, and they just flex and they... And Addison Ray is... So, hold on. I'm trying to guess.

She is in a professional athlete of some sort, I'm guessing. Oh, okay. Well, you're gonna find out here in a second. Okay. So she's in this like green dress whether she's in a beautiful dress. She's cute. She's cute, young, hold.

I'm guessing mid-20s or something? She's young. Okay. She comes in, 33 my age. 33 my age. That's what you'll, That's my age, I'm determined it.

You'll fuck a 33 year old? It was 35 and then I'm a 33 year old, and I was like, it's 33. I'm a 33. Hahaha. Okay, so she sits down in front of me with who is clearly a security guard with her, right? And we're sitting there. I don't think anything of it. My initial thoughts, I have no idea who it is, is that this is a fighter's wife or girlfriend.

Okay, that's what it should be. That's what I thought. Right? Because she's like very pretty and she's sitting in the front row. Great teeth. Got great teeth. Good eyebrows. Put together. So as we're sitting there, a couple kids walk up and they're like, can I take a picture? And you know, they a couple pictures are taken and then by like the fifth person, the security guys like after the weigh-ins. So we start sending people away. Oh, this is weigh-ins? This is the weigh-ins. Oh. So, Damon or Marlin?

Dad jokes all day today. Dad jokes. So I see all these people, I see people get a couple pictures in the row that I'm in, like over her shoulder, young people, kids. So then I go, I tap her on the left shoulder and I go, hey, what about me? And she's like, where's your kid? And she's like, what? And I see her security guy and he's like, and she's like, okay, like she's like, yeah. So we, she takes this picture, right? She takes it. She takes it with my phone. She takes the picture and hands me back my phone. And then she goes back to me and then Joe's wife is at the

Wayne's and she goes, do you know who that is? And I go, no, so she starts laughing. And I go, who is that? And she goes, that's Addison Ram. I'm like, who the fuck is that? She's a TikToker. She has 86 million TikTok fans. And 36 million Instagram fans. What? Followers.

And I go from TikTok. Pull up her page, click her link, or link keep going yeah click on her page right there we're up to 38.6 is it my seeing that wow okay give me like a real picture over over oh you know it's so funny oh go go to that that box that kick the the box yeah yeah yeah yeah it's so funny. Oh, go go to that box that kicked the box. I know what you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so funny. I just saw this on my newsfeed. Or maybe click the next thing.

I just saw this on my newsfeed. I just saw this on my newsfeed when I was in Serbia. Okay. That's so funny. I saw that exact thing and I was like, so this is this called famous for doing videos with people behind her? I have no idea.

I think she's famous for doing videos with people behind her. I have no idea. I think she's famous for doing videos with people behind her. Here's what I know, what ended up happening. I just did that super picture and posted it and I was like, it's always good to see my good friend, Addison Ray at the Wayans. I was tagged in, like, I don't know how many accounts that are Addison, like,

because you know when you're that famous, there's like Addison Ray News. Addison Ray fan base. Addison Ray, like all these accounts were like, Addison Ray and Tom, there's like Addison Ray News, Addison Ray fan base Addison Ray Like all these accounts were like Addison Ray and Tom's here at the Addison Ray and I was like I have no idea who this is and from what I understand it is just like the origin of it is TikTok It's you know, I'm gonna take a I'm gonna take an opposing view of of What would be you call Instagram models or Instagram celebrities

Ticks off celebrities is You know, I think everyone used to think go back to Addison Ray's page. I'm curious about her. There's one girl I we used to talk about all the time. I can't remember a name, but um So is She is she's pretty famous, right? Who? Addison Ray? Well, I mean, you saw the amount number of followers.

Or she's that famous. She really pretty. But I used to shit on it. She was flirting super hard too. For real? No. I used to, I think people used to shit on it, or people do, do still shit on it, like,

TikTok famous or whatever and you know I I don't Because I don't if that person gives you if Addison Ray gives you the same thing that say like a David Goggins Gives because I mean I'm not David Goggins takes this as a common David Goggins is a an Influencer really. I mean he's not a pro athlete, he's not, he's not, I mean, he's an author, but he's famous for being on Instagram and on podcasts, right? Like, I mean, that's his brand is where he builds his fan base.

As he goes and works out with, he clabs with like Cameron Haynes. They do a collab. They're grown men, so you wouldn't call it a collab, but that's what Addison Ray does, is she does. Collabs, she meets another TikToker, they collab, they share their each other's fans, and they're broaden their bases.

And that is what, you know, Cameron Haynes got a book out. He does? Yeah, I pre-ordered it today. I pre-ordered it, and I like Cameron Haynes, and he's also super inspirational, and I like his mentality, same with David Goggins, but... Goddamn. Keep hammering, man.

What are you doing? What's that? I'm fucking, Tom, just give me a sec. Anyway, she's, I'm watching... Like an autistic co-host, go ahead. But it's kind of, it's like whatever you, like you can't shit on things that don't, they don't give you inspiration because it gives other people inspiration.

That's wisdom is what you're actually spewing right now. That's actually wise of you to say. Because it's true, it's the argument I learned this years ago about movies, right? You'd see a movie poster out. You're like, fuck this piece of shit movie. Who the fuck? And then you learn or realize that not everything's made for you.

That, and then you go, oh yeah, that's what going to like the movies was. You go to the movies, let's say there's 12 movies out. There's a couple comedies, a couple dramas, there's a thriller, there's a kids movie. You know what I mean? It's all these different things because it's appealing to different audiences. And just like, celebrities, you can make that case in the world of what we do. In stand-up comedy, we're basically... We're all like a movie. Celebrities. You can make that case in the world of what we do and stand up comedy.

We're basically... We're basically... We're all like a movie. You know what I mean? Like if you want to use that analogy where it's like, do you want this type of experience? Go see this type of comedian. And so we're all appealing to different people. Bo Burnham special.

Amazing. While I played it for someone and they were like, I don't get it. It's stupid. And I were like, I don't get it, it's stupid. Ah, that's amazing. And I was like, hold on. And in my head, I was like, you're my friend and I know you like good stuff. So give it a second shot.

Like give it another shot because it's really fucking awesome. It's really awesome. And it's like, it's not good, it's not funny. And I was like, no, it's a different type of funny. It's like, it doesn't have to be like a fucking like, ah, it's just, it's fucking really good. And by the way, I laughed out loud in that type of way watching it. And the same thing goes with like, when you talk about movies, I'll never shut on another movie ever again.

It takes so much to make a movie, you think to yourself, the fact that people just write off a movie, you don't, I mean, the amount of people that work on a movie, the amount of time that goes in a movie, the amount of money that goes into a movie, the amount of blood, sweat, and tears going to movie, I'll, you'll never touch me shitting on a movie. I changed my tune a little bit after doing a movie about that, where I was like, you know, everyone here's trying to make something good. No one's like going like, I hope this pisses people off. No, and you also realize, and hope this pisses people off. Wow.

And you also realize, and you're realizing it now, and you'll see it when you go see a cut, and you're seeing it after it gets colored and mixed, and before audiences do, is that you're like, we all put a huge effort into this. And you also don't know, even if you're watching, you're like, wow, this is great. You still don't know how it's gonna be received.

You still don't know. You still don't know if audiences will respond're watching like, wow, this is great, you still don't know how it's going to be received. You still don't know. You still don't know if audiences will respond to it. You can't, you can't tell any of those things. No, that's why I, that's why I, that's, it was why I said this last week, but I, well, the only thing I can affect is if I have a good time, I want to make sure that I have the time of my life. Yeah. This is an experience meant for me to love every fucking dripping second of it.

But, but at the same thing goes for Addison Ray, is like there are people I'm certain not a ton, but there are people that would be cynical to her success. And what have you done? You've taken hot pictures and boots. But they're dancing on your TikToks. Yeah. By the way, I think she, I, so far, can you be part of her TikTok?

I know her TikToks, but I thought she was famous for dancing in front of people. Wait, maybe that's how the TikTok thing started. Hey, will you? Because she's famous from TikTok first. This is secondary, right? So type in Addison Ray, dancing and... Well, let's see, let's see here.

Let's see the TikToks. Because I know that this 82 million people and I mean, now, scroll down. Because now it's like like she's famous already you know I mean like scroll down to like no no it was just recent she no no I'm saying that like these all have multiple goals go up go up go up go up go up go up go up go up oh no I'm sorry so I so one of the things that she million and her disdancing was on, yeah. Is that guy like, he just dropped it to the floor. That right there?

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. That's got 38 million stock views. Hold on, hold on, we can recreate that for 37 million views. Oh, we can definitely recreate that. I'll put on that top, you can wear that. Wait, which was wearing what? I don't give a fuck, I'll do it naked

and suck your dick doing it for 37 million views Wait hold on what let hit the audio on this. Let me hear what are they saying something like are they doing cheat codes to a video game? Or is the guy known is the Father's day Monty it's wet ass pussy Okay, who's Monty Jay look is that her dad? Monty Jay Lopez maybe Jay, is that her dad? Monti Jay Lopez. I understand. Maybe? Oh, that's her dad. Okay, that makes sense.

Yep. Yep, husband and share, yeah, that's her dad. Wait, how old is her dad? I don't know. He's got five and a half million followers. Husband and Sherry, dad to Addison. Okay. Now do what I said and scroll all the way down for a bit.

Let's see if like what got her famous because these are all like, I'm already. I've got makeup tutorials. Well known. Well maybe it is makeup. It's gotta be, that's like a hot thing. I know the girls watch them.

Watch makeup tutorials? Yeah. And Georgia's makeup games better, I mean, she got pretty good makeup game. Yes, it's a lot of makeup stuff and then. Can you tell, let's see how far back you are right now like do you know when that was posted? It's got 71 million people And I doesn't say huh Hmm

Yeah, I don't know man. I guess it just exploded for, I don't know. That looks like it's, she looks definitely different here. Younger, you know? Hey, I know that dance studio. Hey, that's where I did, hey. Yeah? That's where I did my dance, hit that, click that video. Okay, go back to, go back, can you type in Bert dance video?

I think that's where I did my dance video. Probably is. Go start it at the beginning. Yeah, that's the same fucking place I did my dance video. Well, you and I have a lot in common. That's crazy. Yeah. I wonder how many followers she has.

Look at that. That's, by the way, by the way, I'm just a TikToker. I'm just a TikToker. You wanna be used as she get on this video. And they're all in masks. So we're gonna rob a bank. 3.4 million, not that many more than you. Not that many, that's how I could teach you a few things.

That's her. Well, who are the biggest TikTok stars? She's got to be one of them, right? Do you think she's probably one of the biggest TikTok followings? There's cheat codes when you think about it, right? She's number two. Charlie Demio.

Di Amelio. Dumbass. Crazy, is I don't know anybody. Like, I wouldn't have known her name except for Will Smith. Who fucked you in a movie theater. Number eight. Will Smith's got 47 million.

It's crazy, huh? Yeah. I don't know. Yeah? No, I mean, I don't know. What? I like Will. I just, I don't know.

There's certain things I'm, I don't know. I don't know. I wish you could be more vague. I didn't there's certain things that I that I haven't liked the way the universe has done him. Like I didn't like the antviv thing we had to apologize to antviv I didn't like I didn't love that. Okay watch out. No I mean I remember the the actor switching thing and I think you know I don't have a apologizing. Oh, yeah, oh, it was a big fucking deal and it bothered me that he had to you He had well, I don't he wanted to I think he wanted see here's what happens to me sometimes is I go Will Smith not they have apology I go did did he want to did he really want to or did was it one of those things where you like

You like fuck. I don't have to I don't have to deal with this. Um, yeah, go right to yeah, right there, which one preview though you, or you can watch, you can have the whole interview. Oh, he actually talked to her actually talked to her and then she basically chastised him. I'm gonna, by the way, I'm gonna be unfair about this. So, realize that I watched it a long time ago. I watched it once, I'm a fan of wills, I'm a fan of his, I'm a fan of his.

So I got a little defensive of him having to apologize for what was childish behavior when he was a child and he was brand new famous. And no one had done, like I defended him on the the across the board for like, no one had set the fucking, the life plan of how can you be a young African-American black kid in Hollywood who was a rapper, then transition into TVs into movies,

blow up, be the biggest thing on NBC's Monday night schedule and then, and then real actors who have, or like, you know, trained actors have problems with you. I got defensive and I didn't like it. I can't play the interview, I'm sorry. I didn't like it. And then, and then I just felt like, I just felt, I feel like lately,

like I feel like, will gets, maybe sometimes attacked when he shouldn't get attacked. And then maybe I'm attacking him right now, but I go, but I just didn't like it. I didn't, I don't like. Well maybe I'm not talking about it right now, but I go, but I just didn't like it. I didn't, I don't like it. Well, there's something like, it's change, and that is that he used to be

in the media landscape, was like, you put it out, I show you, you put it out on a movie, movies a big hit, that's all you need to do. And then he's actually adapted, you can give him credit in a way. Oh, 100%.

He's like, doing the social media stuff, doing that big YouTube and Facebook stuff where he's like documenting you But when I see him on tic-tac, but he also I'm a man There's a thing to say there's a country thing to say you ready. I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna say it It's a really country thing to say okay. Yeah, come I paused everyone that's on that list but none of you deserve to be on a list with Will Smith in my opinion it's Will Smith. Hold on, let's pull up the game tape. Pull up the game tape, Tom.

Give me some fucking, give me a Will Smith highlight reel, okay? Now listen, nothing against Charlie, Addison, Zach, Bella, Spencer, Lauren, or Dixie. You guys, I think you guys are killing it. I think you guys will have huge careers ahead of you. I think you can all acknowledge though, that Will Smith was a trailblazer for young black men in entertainment across the board. You're talking about a dude who took a chance

and made out with another dude when homophobia was running rampant in the hip hop culture in a fucking movie six degrees of separation, right? You're talking about a guy who literally changed the landscape of summer blockbusters, right? He did. And you're talking about a guy that started in fucking West Philadelphia, a born and raised.

Mm-hmm. Got some trouble on the fucking basketball courts, right? Mom moved him out. He changed network television. And he also spoke to people about how, you know, like kind of we all agree that our parents don't understand, sort of they just don't understand it sometimes.

And so I get, I take umbridge. When I see him on that list, I go good for will. I just personally, I just, I put him on a different level. I put him in a different category for me. Good for will, good for will. But I don't I put him on a different level. I put him in a different category for me. Good for will, good for will, but I don't want to see him on that list.

Good for will, but I'm fucking, I look at him differently. Because TikTok's so great, I saw the one where he was diving in the deepest pool. I follow him, dude, I watched him jump out of a fucking helicopter, but I watch, I love will. I just, I don't know, man. I get a little bit offensive of him because he was the first guy that introduced me to the entertainment business He taught me at a pitch of movie. He was the first person to find me first class like everything about will I get defensive of yeah, because I go I was fucking will goddamn Smith man. Yeah fucking happiness. Pursuit happiness. Yeah fucking movie dude

Is that the name of it? I'm bad with name movies. I don't know, I never saw it. You saw it right? Fucking amazing, correct? Is that the moment the sun? Yeah. Yeah, I don't wanna see that. Oh dude, it was amazing. He's a great, can I tell you something?

Yeah. That's called a black bummer. Normally, normally white people make white bummers and it's just to bum you the fuck out and make you cry about some cancers, some shit shit and that was a big old black bummer and let's take it let's take it let's take it one step further all right okay here we go if we're gonna if we're gonna do Monday morning quarterback for how we behaved in the in the early 2000s to Paris Hilton and, and to all of them, right, and to Britney Spears.

Oh my God, that poor woman, what is happening? Hang on, stop, let's stop right there. How about a fucking, let's do a big me a cop of her Lindsey Lohan. That girl got butt fucked by the media and all the celebrities in Hollywood. That won't, that, and she is legit talented. She is probably one of the most talented actresses of our generation

I will stand by that day in and day out dude mean girls Is it not a fucking great goddamn movie I don't know Lindsay low-hand and by the way fucking drum line drum lines of fucking banger bro Drum line is a great fucking movie Great fucking movie dude great fucking movie Lindsay Lohan got trashed by a lot of those Hollywood kids. They all fucking fucked with her I think they fucked with her. She was too young and she is first of all. She's gorgeous Yeah, she is pull up a picture of Lindsay Lohan today

Gorgeous. I mean, beautiful body, all natural, beautiful body. Let's not, yeah, pull up a hot one. Go to her Instagram, there we go, there we go. Fucking media does you shitty. And they're not gonna hold themselves accountable. Gossip.com, isn't gonna hold itself. Gossip scoop, gossip, coup, gossip, copy, gossip, fuck. What the fuck is that say?

Gossip copies are gonna hold itself accountable, but they're gonna get a ton of clicks off of Britney Spears needs to get litigated. She likes cute, man. By the way, I'm gonna take another of the popular opinion. I'm not going to on this one. I'm gonna be your way.

About Brittany. You got it. Do you think she's doing well? No, I don't. She doesn't seem like she's doing very well in. And I haven't seen that. I heard that there's a documentary that kind of shows, like gives you a bunch.

They tell you a lot without telling you like what her psycho vows say or obviously like that. But she looks unwell. Like she looks unwell in her Instagrams. Like she looks like somebody who's like, no, here's a question. Is the conservative leadership controlling her Instagrams and making her look comfortable? No, no, no. So maybe she should, if she's trying to win her Instagram.

I agree. I would hop off Instagram. But if you're not well, you don't know that. Why would you know that? I think the whole arguments being made is that're not well, you don't know that. Why would you not? I think the whole argument's being made is that Brittany is 100% fine to run her money. Well, I understand what you're saying, but since she doesn't seem well,

I will speak on behalf of a person who should be in a conservatorship. Okay. You. Me. Yes. I shouldn't be in control of my money at all. I should not. I would sign that petition. I've spent recklessly before not realizing what I'm spending on. Really?

Yeah. Like what? Go to a bar and actually know it's $6,000. You're like, ooh. $6,000 at a bar? I'll show you a picture. It was a fucking fun night. It was a fun night.

You want to see a picture? Where was it? It was a survey of whatever. Wait, who gave you the call? Was it about $6,000? No, was there a call, an accountability call, like the next day? It was like a little bit like, you know, it was just kind of tax to the group, just giving your heads up.

You got those bills coming in, just giving your heads up. It's not a stolen credit card, it's burnt. Like, every time, do you realize how often, and I mean, how often I buy something and banks go, has your card been stolen? Like in fucking, in Atlantic City, in Atlantic City, the end goes, I'm gonna get out money with the buffet, a buffet, and by the way, this is my brain works,

I'm gonna pay for everyone that's with us. I'm not gonna let anyone pay for themselves. Everyone's gonna put, you know, it's my trip. You're also working there. I'm working, making money. Pay for everyone, I go, I don't know how many cash for a tip. And the end's like, oh, it has funny. I thought you had money.

I said, nah, I'm out. I'm just like, just a craft stable, you know. And she was like, I will get money. And she was like, that's funny. Well, let me get money out. And I was like, really? What's our limit? And she was like, we don't have a limit. And I was like, yeah, we actually do. She was like, that's funny, well let me get money out. And I was like, really? What's our limit? And she was like, we don't have a limit.

And I was like, yeah, we actually do. She was like, how do you know? And I was like, I tried to get money out last night. And I fucking ran the limit. She was like, how much money do you spend? It's only $1,000, but you shouldn't be taking out $1,000 in cash. Now, here's a deal.

The question I have is Brittany's conservatorship safe? Like, is it a safe place? Is her dad a villain? And he's hoarding her money away. The question I have is is Brittany's conservatorship safe? Like is it a safe place? Is her dad a villain and he's hoarding her money away, the way like, Danes' brother was in it, was taking her as money and was not able to do it. Right? Or is it a safe place? And that's the question I have is, I would love to be in a safe conservatorship where someone,

you know, I don't even know what a conservatorship is really. What, what, like you can still drink, right? Yeah. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Hold on. Let's start over with what's a conservatorship. Because if they're like, yo, they just drop off five, seven bottles of wine for a week. It says it in the first sentence.

You can... A conservatorship also known as a guardianship is a legal mechanism set up for people who are unable to manage their affairs. So, okay, so how many pro athletes... how many pro athletes you think should have been in conservative shows? At this point, thousands. Okay.

Let's start with who should be in conservatorships and then work our way back and see if Britney should then be in a conservatorship, okay? If she falls into that group that should be in a conservatorship. So, let's Google famous athletes who went broke so that we'll be like no. No. Yeah. A van der Holyfield is broke. He made nine, nine figures well into nine figures. So is it fair to say that a van der Holy should be able to never have been involved in charge of his legal. Well, I guess you can, in a way, you can make the case

of anybody on this list, right? But I mean, if you get punched in the head a lot, maybe you shouldn't be in charge of your finances, right? That's a very first statement. Tyson, we all know that he met so much money and then went through it. He saw his ability to make money. I mean, he's still making money.

Right, he's making money now. Mary and Jones, the sprinter, was making $100,000 per race. Yeah. All right, let's go actors. Johnny Depp. Should Johnny Depp be in a conservatory? Yes.

Yes. Okay, all right, so hold on. If we're saying Johnny Depp, should- The boy Bert Reynolds. How about this? This one's okay. Yeah, and now I don't know about Saka Suflet here.

Saka Suflet. Larry King. Oh my God. Larry King went broke. I don't know. This does not do it, he's dead now, but late 70s he was paying through the nose to a list of creditors. Even when he was given his own talk show, the money didn't last considering how many times

he was married and divorced. Well, that'll get you. If you're married seven, eight times. Maybe his dick should have been under a conservatorship. No, that's not a dad joke. Uh, meatloaf, Tony Braxton, Sinbad, T.M. Maxx. See what hers was though? Despite her awesome voice, she continued to spend even the royalties on her songs started

to trickle and then they finally dry up. This led to two bankrupt season less than five years. There might be a third on the way. Rumor has it she was still allowed to purchase a $3 million home. Well, he's on her song, started to trickle, and then they finally dry up. This led to two bankruptcies in less than five years. There might be a third on the way. Rumor has it, she was still allowed to purchase a $3 million home while she was 50 million in debt. Okay. Sinbad's was really famous.

What was his? His was that he wasn't paying taxes. So he was always on that, like, L.A. times would publish. Well, it's probably a difference between getting a good business manager and as being in a conservatorship. Here's a question, and it's a little sacrilege because he's passed, but do you think DMX would have

benefited from a conservatorship? Of course. Right? Of course, because he also had a real drug problem. Anybody with a real drug problem, anybody with a real drug problem. I don't think Brittany has a drug problem. I don't know, I really wouldn't know.

I didn't know about Pamela Anderson. What was that about? Oh yeah. Looks like she was a failure to pay taxes. She's actually actually. Yeah, I'll catch you every time. Gary Busy. So we're looking at a bunch of famous people

who should have been a conservatorship. Michael Jackson, should he have been a conservatorship? Definitely. He was fucking out of his mind. Yeah, yeah. So he was also like, I wanna get monkeys, you know, like let's get some chimps for the house. That's when you need someone to be like, no, no.

So the question is, does the internet, the internet just jumped on Brittany's side going, you need a free Brittany, right? Right, you know who knows this answer? Whitney Cummings, should we call her and see if Brittany should be in it? Conservativeship? She's gonna have a real strong opinion, I? Right. You know who knows this answer? Whitney Cummings. Should we call her and see if Britney should be in it? Oh, okay. Conservatorship?

She's gonna have a real strong opinion, I'm guessing. Yeah. Watch this. And Nick Cage ended up buying like, he had like 10 homes at one point. And they were trying to get him to sell a house, but that's like depth. Depths, if you look up Johnny Depp, Rolling Stone article, it is so fucking captivating. I stayed in one of his houses one time giant Eps. Yeah spent the night there dude up on the upspending is

That's probably that's probably the one right there trouble with Johnny Dup. Yeah That's the one make that bigger the trouble with Johnny Dup by the way, I'm fucking Maybe part of being a brilliant artist is being able to tear through your money and then being stopped to recreate right yeah Fucking Whitney's not gonna answer She must know we're back By the way at FaceTime my Face timing is an aggressive. I do it to everyone That's why you should be in a conservative shit. I should probably be in a conservative shit

Well, there's just some highlights from this I remember I flipped out when I read this article is amazing He is made $650 million in his career at the time of this article. It's not impressive. I'll tell you why in his career at the time of this article. It's not impressive, and I'll tell you why. Let's think about, right? So, that's pretty big, yeah, that's pretty big. I was just trying to do the math,

and I was like, I base everything on what some batch and makes like, because the fashion made like, $20 million one year or something, right? Yeah. And I was like, okay, so then, like, I figure I just work it from Sebastian and I go, how long has he been working, right?

Yeah. He's been working since 21 Jump Street. Long time. Okay. And then, you figure, when do you think Johnny Depp, how old's Johnny Depp? Gotta be close to 60, I'm guessing. Start of when he was 18.

Is any close to 60, am I wrong? 58. Start of when he was 18, right? Right. Let's say he started making millions when he was 25. Okay. So 25 years, like 30 years basically. 30 years. It's not that, I mean, you know, you mean, that means consistently every year you're making like 20, 30 million dollars a year. But really only parts of the care and being with the big, big paybanks. Well Well, let's go, no, go where we were.

By the way, and I hope none of this is coming off slanderous to Johnny Depp Lindsay Lowe and, or, Britney Spears. Scroll just a little bit, so here's some highlights, okay. Oh, by the way, by the way, I just realized, I'm sitting here going, like, trying to lobby for a conservatorship. I have a real hard time with anyone telling me what to do.

I could never do a conservatorship. I had a hard time with holding anyone telling me what to do. I could never do a concertorship. I had a hard time with holding my arm in an MRI machine. Oh yeah, no you would be able to do it. You'd be at night. Someone goes, hey Bert, you're done. And I'd be like, meh. You'd be, you'd be, but check this out. So in the suit, there's at the time there's a suit going on.

His sister, they find that sisters of Johnny was given $7 million. His assistant, $750,000, without his knowledge, and that he has paid the IRS more than $5.6 million in late fees. Scroll down more. That's fucking ridiculous. So the suit suggested that debt has a compulsory

two million a month spending habit. So he's spending $25 million a year, spending. That's out. Well, what? Well, this breaks it down. It's gotta be small things. You're gonna collect a year spending. That's out. What? Well, this breaks it down. It's gotta be small things. You're gonna collect that much stuff. Listen to this.

Scroll, scroll more. Because they list some of his things and it's outrageous. Scroll a little more. Oh, look how gorgeous he is. He's a good-looking man. He's a very good-looking man, of course, Johnny Depp. Cruise ends in the car,

so Jeff tried tying, trying to pull his own tooth and restaurant while dinner with Stella McCartney. Yeah, I bet he's, so yeah, he loves smoking, he loves wine. There's a whole thing in here about his wine habit and like how many homes and things that they tried to get him to get rid of. And he was like, no.

But maybe that's the, maybe that's the, how the sauce is just made. That might not be good. If you wanna get part of it. If you wanna get great actors, you gotta let them be crazy. Like we haven't heard any good songs from, like new songs from Brittany, right? No.

So maybe that, maybe this conservatism stopping the art, and then here's question, is the art more important than the person? Like, do we care more about a good Britney Spears song that's fun to dance to and brings you a smileier face than her well-being? Well, because now I don't think you can have both. Great, well, in that case, you mean?

Yeah, I mean, you mean, it's like, look, some artists, in order to create the art, they heard other people, right? Well, you're Harvey Weinstein as an example, I know he's an artist, but you get what I'm saying. Some artists hurt other people to get their art. That's how they do it. That's how they operate, that's their thing. You know, it's funny.

And then some artists hurt themselves. They hurt themselves to make the thing they need to make, right? Yes. What's more important, the art or the artist? Well, because you, I mean, candidly, 95% of the people don't really care about Britney Spears. They don't care about her. They just wanna, you know, tweet about her.

They care about, they honestly care about the music that they first cared about. It's the music. And that's not the artist, that's the music. That's the art. Okay, so here's some other stuff here. Uh, okay, Depp accused his management firm of taking 34 million in loans in his name as a result of mismanagement with the final result, strawberry being a $12.5 million hard money loan engineered to his long time attorney in 2014,

at 10% interest. He has been hardly paid any down scroll more. More. I wonder if this is the same article that I was referencing. Because they also said he was a big fan of, what's the 100, 100 S Thompson? Yeah, he spent like $3 million

to shoot him out of a cannon. He says it was 10. Well, I mean, you're looking for a write off, I'm sure you say it's whatever. Yeah, what's that next picture? I just wanna see more pictures of Johnny Depp. Honor S. Look at how good looking he is.

He's a handsome dude. Look at those cheekbones. I mean, I mean, really. Do you think Hunter's fucked up there? Jesus Christ, man. Suicide? His suicide, Hunter's Thompson? Yeah.

Shot himself in the head. Okay, extravagant lifestyle. Too mean a month, the suit claims depth did give. It's three million to shoot as Pall 100, it's Thompson from the sky can. As everybody says? 75 million for 14 residents. Jesus Christ.

Amir's 7,000 of bias daughter, a couch. He bought seven D guitars, 200 pieces of art. He owns 45 luxury vehicles and spends 200,000 a month on private air travel. I mean, he's just going, he's going. 200,000 a month is in that bad. I mean, considering what private air travel is, it's a lot of money.

Where's he flying? I don't know. Europe. Maybe. He flew Stanhope over first class to London to meet him. Really? Yeah. Him and Bingo. He spent 1.2 million to keep a doctor on call.

Oh, I do that, I do that. And I know that. Let's find which of these I do. Jesus Christ. I'll tell you which one's ready. Scrop to the top, I'm gonna tell you which one I would do. There's gonna be more here. There's gonna be more. Okay.

Keep scrolling, I'll tell you which one's I would do. It's insulting to say that I spent 30,000 a month on wine because it was far more. And by the way, it was not three million to shoot Hunter into the fucking sky. It was five million, so I was wrong. I'd spend five million to shoot you out of the sky. I would do that for you in a second.

Yeah. By the way, I already have your next birthday present. It's a flying motorcycle. That's pretty cool. $300,000. So we got to get there. Okay. Yeah, and people are gonna go, Bert spent, well, obviously you're on his friends' birthday. I go, hey,. So we got to get there. Okay. Yeah. And people are going to go

birthspin. Obviously you're on his friends birthday. Go, hey, you don't know what it meant to me. Yeah. Uh, wait, which of those would you do? Uh, by the way, there's a lot of them. You would do the wine. First of all, private. Oh, no, you're talking about, I'm not talking about the money I have now.

So I don't have that kind of money. But if you're talking about, I have fucking his money. Yeah. $200,000 a month on private air travel. That's done. That's done. The wine done. Three million a shoot of front of that canyon, done 100% without a doubt.

How many homes, he has 10 homes, I said? 15, I probably do a third of that, but it makes sense. It makes sense. I can see collecting homes. Yeah. I don't want one, okay, okay. How many homes, that's what I'm, it's great call.

How many homes does he have? Scroll back up, it was further up. 15? Is that what it said? No, that was 14 home, a little bit further up. There, you're right, 14 residents. Okay, 14 residents. $75 million on 14 residents.

Okay, real quick, I'm gonna bang them out. Okay, I got two in California. I'm gonna have one in Malibu and one, I gotta keep the stupid one we have now. Okay, actually, three houses in LA. One in Malibu, the, I gotta keep the stupid one me up now. Okay, I can actually, three houses in LA, one in Malibu, the house we have now, and then rental property. That's gonna be three in LA, okay?

Mine, you have $650 million. I'm gonna get one in Austin, so I wanna be by you. Thanks, man. Okay, I'm getting one in Florida, so I'm gonna get one in Tampa. Maybe get one in Florida, one in Tampa, one in Miami, because I'd love a fucking cool. I think it's South Beach, man. So now we're at five houses, one in Miami. Cause I'd love like a fucking cool. Like a South Beach pad.

So now we're at five houses, correct? Right. No, we're at six houses. Oh, okay. Six houses. I'm buying a house in Croatia. Bam. Croatia.

Yeah, just to have one people like, you got a bunch of mine in Croatia. I go, you know I do. Right on the beach. Okay. You gotta have a New York place, right? Oh, you've got a New York place. Not a doubt London place.

Okay. Girls are gonna want a Paris place. We're at 10 already and I am in started picking doubt London place. Okay. Girls are gonna want a Paris place. We're at Tana already, and I am in started picking places I want. Right, I want Hawaii. Hawaii for sure. Right. And then don't you want to like a specific Northwest,

like a Montana or Wyoming place? Oh, you gotta have a Zach Galafineck is getaway house. Oh, he's in Carolina though. Oh, okay, that's funny. But do you wanna do it in like, that's what I'm saying, Wyoming Montana? Oh, place in Montana, place in Aspen, Aspen right wow, but too okay. Yeah. Well Montana's more for hunting aspen is more for smoking weedens and so already I'm at 13 houses

Yeah, I'm in like I land a pick one So 14 does not make where does she where do you think she votes for you bowed and George Gonna buy the house on the corner of dot road Where do you think she votes? It's working bold and you're gonna buy the house on the corner of Dot Road. It's the fucking house we've driven by. It's this old fucking. She's like, I want that.

We almost bought it. I think it's like $15,000. Oh, yeah, I don't know why we didn't buy it. And so, yeah, we're gonna buy her lake house, we're gonna buy her lake house, buy out her dad. Yeah, 14 houses is not, like you start looking at it. You're like, yeah, that makes sense. And by the way, you gotta remember remember it's $650 million dollars

It's a lot and then you got 14 houses right so you're telling me 200,000 in private air fairs a lot not all Yeah, I'm gonna visit a lot of these fucking houses Yeah, and and how much does he have an art go back to art because you got to put paintings up in these houses Yeah, you got to buy a guitar for each house how many guitars? He has 200 pieces of 70 guitars. 70 guitars, 14 houses. You got five guitars a house. That makes sense. 45 cars, which is not spread out about 40.

45 guitars, 15 houses. You got to spread them out, man. This guy's actually living his best life. And he's being quite frugal if you ask me. 7,000 to buy his daughter a couch of she's a fan of keeping up with the Kardashians, ask Lori Loughlin if she wouldn't buy her daughter a couch for $7,000 to buy his daughter a couch of she's a fan of keeping up with the Kardashians Asplory lawfully and if she wouldn't buy her daughter a couch for $7,000. I asked for a Chrysher would you buy your daughter a couch for 7,000? Yeah

Today like today my daughter was like how about this couch? How about this couch? I mean what is it she goes? It's from Easter or a Addison raised living room I was like who the fuck is Addison right now? Depp please I want it so bad, I want it so bad. I take that back, Liam would kill that deal. She would? Yeah, because I la wanted this.

You knew her. Now, do you ever go like, I, yep, we're doing it and then you don't talk to Liam about it and then it gets done and then afterwards? No, never. They never have them. Never once done it. Are you serious?

You have never once. Nope, yep, we're doing it. I say that, I say that and then I judge her reaction and then based on her reaction, we do it or not. Wow. Like. I say that, I say that, and then I judge her reaction, and then based on her reaction, we do it or not. Wow. Like even my car, I was in, I was in making when I got my car, I was about a year ago, and I was like, I'm getting a car.

And she was like, which car? And I was like, this one, and she was like, why? And I was like, okay, how about this one? She was like, eh, I was like, I'm getting this car. She was like, that's a cool car. I was like, that's the one I'm getting. Like, first one. I'm on her. Well, the first one, pull up the first one. It was the, I think getting this car. She was like, that's a cool car. I was like, that's the one I'm getting. Like, first one. I'm gonna-

Well, the first one, pull up the first one. It was the, I think I talked to you about it. It was the Porsche, the Porsche Fordora. Panamera? Panamera, pull up the Porsche Panamera and Leandro's sister's a stupid looking car. And I went, okay. Okay.

And I was like, it's a good looking car. I was gonna get the Porsche Panamera. Yeah, they're dope. They're fucking sick. And then I sent it to her and she goes, eh, or Tom's more the Porsche guy. You're not a Porsche guy. And I was like, what do you mean? She goes, you're more sedan guy. Like, I go, it's a sedan. She goes, it's a Porsche. It's don't forgets a Porsche. And I went, okay. So what kind of car should I get? She goes, I don't know. Get whatever you want. But if you were going to buy the girl something, then it was like a few thousand. you'd ask, you'd check with her.

Yeah, okay. I, because I tried to get Georgia one car that I liked, because I thought I could drive it also. Yeah. And Georgia and Leanne's like, and I talked to our guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was like, it seems a little pricey for a 16 year old, and I go, yeah, but it's one I don't mind driving.

Right, right. And he was like, okay, let me run the numbers. And then he said about to Leanne, she's like, nah, take all the shit off of it's one I don't mind driving. Right, right. And he was like, okay, he's like, let me run the numbers. And then he said, if I could lean, she's like, no, take all the shit off of it and maybe then. And so yeah. And so I literally, and then I went back to Leanne and I said I wanted to range Rover. And she was like, we already have an SUV.

And I was like, okay, she's like, you're more a sedan guy. So I said, I know the car I got, and she goes, that's good looking car. And I was like, that's what I want. Okay. I think she, after two. So I was like, that's what I want. Okay. I think she, after two. Sounds like she, if I can pull those strings. Oh yeah, yeah.

Fuck, hilarious. Johnny Depp's not doing that bad. And can we be the ones to start? Let's be, do this how we go viral. You ready? The people to go viral, the people that start a movement, right? Okay. Start a hashtag, start a movement, right? Okay. Start a hashtag start a

movement. I think we should be the ones to get Lindsay Lohan back in a major motion pictures. Wait, speaking of you really want to try that? Yeah, I want to show you something first. Okay. Instagram pull up Magic Johnson on Instagram. I just because we're talking about spending crazy. So he has roughly the amount of money that Johnny Depp should have, which is like over 600 million. Wait, his Instagram is magic Johnson. No, that says.

Magic Johnson. Oh yeah, that's yeah. Wait, what's going to do you pull up? People are like, mm, Johnson. No, this isn't magic Johnson. He's only got 2.5's go down further further further further further further further further further further further further further further further further further further further I've seen this is he's still on vacation. Yes, that's my point. Yes. Okay, stop stop stop By the way, I'm a little bit I'm in love with magic Johnson's son up a little bit up a little more right I love with Magic Johnson's son. Up a little bit, up a little more. Right, there, on the right.

This is like basically when it starts. And all? Yeah, kinda like, yeah, my first day in Greece. And all his posts are like, I ate a fish today. Click, click dude, let me see the rest of the pictures. That's the way he's fucking yoked. He's enormous. Okay, so he's out on a yacht in Greece

and you're like, oh cool, it's Magic Johnson, yeah. He's probably the pink palace. He's a, okay. Then it's like the next day, he's like, I'm working out on vacation. I'm officially on vacation and I'm working out. And you're like, that's cool, man. Like, love it, you're having a great time.

Go to the next one. Then he're like, that's cool, man. Like, love it, you're having a great time. Go to the next one. Then he's like, last night we had the most unbelievable grouper. And. And, I love the, can I tell you, this is what's adorable about Magic Johnson. Come back to that big fair.

It's super sincere. It's super sincere. This is what's adorable. You're never gonna to take like Magic Johnson and Engrove with money, right? Right. But now he's one of the richest men. Oh, yeah. So loaded. But what's so great is that he wrote his own caption.

He wrote, last night, we had the most unbelievable fit. There's like a dad post. Yeah, a totalist. And then he wrote, fresh grouper caught the same day, not realizing the vast majority of people in Greece are eating fish that are caught that exact same day. A lot of people that are on a yacht will catch a fish, and then that's not the most amazing part of that. Like that's not noticeable to be like,

it was caught, we caught it, and then we ate it. Like that's what makes that place. I just noticed by the way that somebody, the first comment underneath that says, what are we supposed to do with this information? Who is that fucking person? What an asshole. Who is that fucking person?

I love that guy. I might start following it. I might start following him too. By the way, a good sniper fucking comment. Click his link. I wanna see his page. It ain't like this. I'm a private.

Of course. All right, keep going. Go to the next one. Okay, a beautiful day. And it's like, okay, go to the next one. Okay, there's a list. Go change that one. And then, so he starts bringing out fans.

Goosey with. Well, this is a wife, and I think maybe... Two friends, two of their good friends. Keep going, if you would. And then it starts to be... Sam Morel's there? Hahaha. Okay, he has, yeah, Sam Jackson.

Is that LL Cool J? Yes. And Samuel L Jackson. And it looks like, wait, Sam Jackson. Is that LL Cool J? Yes. And Samuel L Jackson. And, and it looks like, wait, who's the other guy? The light skin dude. Who's that guy right in the middle? Sam Jackson, LL Cool J, and who's that guy?

Click on the picture as he if he's tagged. Bo Cow. And there's Rodney Pete, Holly Robinson Pete. I don't know who that is. But anyway, dude, so this is like, that's July, what does that say? Third? Third, dude, he was posting three weeks late,

like it's the best vacation ever. And people are coming and going on the vacation. He stays on it. They were in Greece, then Italy, then he's in France, And people are coming and going on the vacation. He stays on it. How do we become a friend? They were in Greece, then Italy, then he's in France. Keep going. Now you can kind of page through them. Look who we ran into.

Like it's just, it's one awesome now that they're in Capri-Italy. Right? Friends shopping. He's like, we went shopping. Samuel Jackson. Happy July 4th. It's Happy Birthday.

That's the guy that's the guy he were asking for. It's his birthday today. Just me, Sam Jackson and LL Cool J. What do you think they talk about? How fucking good the grouper was? I don't know. Look, he's like, hey man, we got a grouper again. Yeah.

And it was caught the same day. The same day. And then he's like, I found these white people. Still in Greece. He's in great shape. I mean, for a, yeah, dude, he's, look at this from the outside. If you were seen him in person.

No. I saw him on a restaurant person. He's six, nine. Oh, wait. Yeah, and he's gotta be like two. Is that you? That's what I thought. Ha ha.

Is that you? It looks how much does that look like you? I mean, that's the comment there. It looks like Tom Segura. So. It says that. It does look like Tom Segura. Yeah.

And really, I really thought it was me for a second. But anyways, this continues, man. So keep going. It's the best. He's a superhero. Hey, his son is my favorite. Oh, he comes on the vacation. Yeah, just keep doing that.

Keep clicking. I love the confidence. His game farting. Yeah. Yeah. And who's that other guy? Now just keep going. He keeps working out.

Was his daughter, I think. Killing, it's all going to fucking hot. No offense, but I was like, Cookie, is that Cookie? That's Cookie, yeah. Man, Cookie's a good chick. Yep. Everyone should be looking up to the sun. I love his sun.

By the way, what's that outfit? Zoom in on that outfit. Looks like it's maybe, is that Gucci? Yeah, I think so. I love his son, his plus son's a big dude. Big. Big man, I mean, magic six nine. He's six five probably.

Yeah, maybe. Dude, I love, I don't know what it is. You know what it is, this is gonna come off, I'm sure it's gonna come off that. But it's like refreshing to just see like, someone live their life like that, you know? Like, cause I feel like I do that with my life's like refreshing to just see like someone live their life like that. You know? Like, because I feel like I do that with my life.

You know what I mean? And to see that that is becoming the norm is that you get to just do what the fuck you wanna do and people celebrate it. Bad test, I say to me else, I love about this. I do appreciate somebody who just goes, I embrace and love you. Embrace and love my child no matter what. I think it's fantastic too. I also love somebody who's a huge success magic who's living up a vacation. I love yes. A vacation where you just go, I'm all

in. Let's go for it. Love it. I'll tell you what, man. I'm gonna give magic a, so this is not gonna make sense a little bit. Okay. But the fact that magic completely accepts his son of being who he is, is so hard as a dad. And it's gotta be harder if it's that within that. And you're so famous. And you're so famous.

And you're so famous. Because I know for a fact, like Georgia and Iowa were close that I don't like. Yeah. And I'm like, and I'll catch myself saying stuff, like, what the fuck are you wearing? And it's like, and it's just like, like, you know, they both dress like hippies.

Like they dress like really baggy clothes, like combat boots, and like just outfits that I go, just like, I go with the fucking wearing. And I catch myself saying that to my daughters, and I go, the fact that Magic Johnson is just who the fuck he is and let's his son be who the fuck he is and celebrate him and put some all of his, I mean, I'm saying pictures with Island, I was like, yeah, fucking, change fucking clothes. You look like, yeah, you can't fucking, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't change fucking clothes. You look like, you look like your homeless. And that's fucking hard as a dad. And that's fun.

I bet Magic Johnson would love us. Yeah. Yeah. Did he, I bet he'd get our sense of humor. You know, like more like a gallows humor. I bet we, if we just said, don't hey magic. My thought, yeah. He'd click more with you.

You think? Yeah. Why? You can't, you do bigger broad strokes, you know? Oh, yeah, I can see magic being like, you're more Larry Bird guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm more magic, you're more Larry Bird.

I think so. Do you think if we went to dinner, we went to dinner with magic shots and we went to dinner with Larry Bird together? Do you think we'd just start pairing up with them and you'd see us just be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I was like, fuck him, right, magic. And he's like, yeah! Larry Bird is a savage.

Is he really? All the stories about, are you getting more phone calls? Americans, Samoa. Why are they from international numbers? They're all international We were in the car you got it. Yeah, by the way, that was the funniest fucking phone call That was very funny. Can you can you someize it? So we went through the Starbucks drive-through and when we ordered our coffees We went to pay and Bert wentthrough and when we ordered our coffees, we went to pay,

and Bert went to pay with a hundred dollar bill, and the guy goes, I was his kid's name? Brandon. Brandon. And he goes, the kid goes, you know what, it's just too big, you have anything smaller. And then he goes, by the way, and he looked in the car, he goes, I'm a big fan of you guys. And Bert, of course, goes, who do you like more, right? And the kid goes, I like Bert, I like you, he says that he goes, I like you. And then I go, who the fuck answers that? Yeah, who tells the person? Oh, yeah, but like, oh Chuck Lidell and T-Nortis, I'm a big fan, who do you like more?

Oh, Tito, obviously. Yeah, and you're like, hey dude, what? Yeah, so I, you know, I was just joking, but I'm like, who says that? And then we eventually we pay, you give him a hundred dollar tip and he's like, yeah, thanks. Have a good day. And then he's like, oh my god. Oh shit. Yeah. But then we're in the car and we see international phone number ring on the, you know, on the screen. Serbia. And you answer it and you're like, hello, and the guy goes,

Tom, and you go, no, it's Bert and he goes, oh, I wish it was Tom, he's my favorite. Yeah. And that's it. And the guy hung up. And I go, what the fuck was that? And you go, a lot of people have my phone number

and they watch my Instagram story. Yeah, post Instagram story. They're like, oh, they're still in the cardio, they'll just call them. I've got, I've got, I've got to, I've got to change this fucking number. I've got to change this number. All right, we gotta run We got a run we got a lot to do here. Oh shit. I gotta read all those. Yes. Yes. I bet I have to read a bunch of ads

You are Let's answer let's answer one phone call Hello What's up Hey man. What's up? Okay. All right. That's a lot of fun. Love you. Love you too. Love you too. Okay. Bird time. Time and bird.

One goes top to swap the other. Where's the shirt? Tom tells stories and birds the machine. There's not a chance and hell that they'll keep the clean. Here's what we call, two bears one cake. No scripts to bet a booze amateur, for toology. Dirty jokes, ronchi humor, no apologies. Here's what we call, two bears one cake.