2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Happy Women’s Month | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

SPONSORS: - Visit https://kettleandfire.com/BEARS and use code: BEARS to save 25% off your entire order. - Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code BEARS at https://Manscaped.com -Go to https://liquiddeath.com/BEARS to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer. - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert and Tom are celebrating Women's History Month by listing off history's greatest women of all time. They're also making lists of history's most evil women too! From serial killers to dictators and pilots to queens, the bears are diving into all the great women who left their mark upon the world. The Bears also discuss the insane ways MMA fighters are built, couple code words, Bert's bloodwork, fat girl energy, eavesdropping, the American Nightmare documentary, and the TV series Feud: Capote Vs. The Swans. Happy Women's History month to all who observe! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 228 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Amelia Earhart no, she's amazing. Okay, she did crash That guy fucking is a ride-or-die for his check yeah, he I think he should get a vote I think we should take stebbing over Oprah no national women's most as women yeah But he does kind of play the part a little bit This episode of two bears one cave is sponsored by Kettle & Fire Bone Broth. Made with all organic ingredients and bones from 100% grass fed cows and free range chicken, Kettle & Fire is available at almost any grocery store in the country. It is the cleanest and highest quality bone broth on the market and it's great for fasting

support. quality bone broth on the market and it's great for fasting support for a limited time you can save 25% off your entire order when you go to Kettle and Fire dot com slash bears and you'd code bear use code bears at checkout that's Kettle and fire dot com slash bears with code bears at checkout for 25% off your entire order you were pulled off stage last night and I said you wanted to say something to the audience. I just want to apologize. You never know what's going on behind the scenes and I don't want to get in details but we're dealing with some real tragic news and I was trying to process it my way. Your family. You got to family. That's it. That's it.

You gotta have a good fucking out. You gotta have a good. You gotta think of your excuses. Can I tell you, I think my anxiety gives me powers. And I'll tell you why. I think I have superhuman powers because I was on the flight. So does my eight year old. Keep going.

He actually really does. I really think I do. I was on the plane yesterday with Leanne, didn't drink on the flight, definitely drank at dinner last night. Let's talk about my blood work later. Okay. And I was feeling movements in the plane

that she wasn't feeling. And I realized- Big plane, small plane. Big plane. Delta, I don't like flying Delta. The actual, the airline gives you- I don't like flying Delta. Can I tell you what's crazy?

Really? You know, Japanese airlines called Japanese airline But that's probably not what they call it. They probably call it like something. They probably call it the airline Yeah, and then I was like it's kind of cool that we forced them to say Delta like in their language They have to go to Delta Delta So I but I noticed that like that's your that's your problem airline Delta. like, I mean, I grew up flying Delta. I just find that everything looks very Swedish. Like everything's like ergonomic.

Okay. Everything's like very format, very like blue and red. And I missed the Delta days when they had that fucking hot lady. Redhead? Oh my God. Yeah, I DM'd her one time. Doug.

Did you? You DM'd her one time. Yeah I was like you do good work. Can you pull up a picture she was the hottest. No I'm sorry it was public it was public I messaged her. She is so she changed fucking yeah I mean she was. first. But you know what it is? It's a nod back to the way flying used to be. Which. You could smack them on the ass. Yeah, where the airline was like, you know what people wanna look at?

Attractive people. Yeah. So, you know, it was the good old days where they would weigh them and they'd, you know, make them dress up. Or they would weigh them. Yeah, they did. They were like, you better not be over 125.

So now, you, now you can only get that internationally. Like when you go, when you fly Cathay Pacific or, or, or Emirates or Japanese airlines, like, uh, they still enforce that they're like, yeah, you will hire you. Stay hot. Yeah. And then here you got big old Sally waddling down the fucking hitting you with her hips and she's a, you know, it's, she's,

she's in a mood and you're like, I got to deal with you. This is, this is what it used to be. When do you think the first mood, Hey, happy women's month, happy women's, when do you think attitude showed up with flight attendants? It's definitely been, like, it probably, you know, there was probably a couple that gave it a shot in the 70s or 80s that got, they were like, that's when they used to like, yeah, you're out of here.

And then, you know, fuck, you tried, they probably tried to sue and they're like, get the fuck out of here, you know? And then it's probably like shifted for real, I would say in the 90s, probably in the 90s into the early 2000s, when it became like, it's a, you know, you don't have to look a certain way.

That's when people started to go like, oh, but you're only hiring hot people here? Because we know somebody also that, for a totally different business, that only hires attractive women to work there. And... Is that me? Huh?

No, but it is fucking hilarious. All right, I'll say it, but you gotta cut it out. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. business you take note of it and then like I don't know everybody seems to like not complain just like oh okay yeah what it is there's no flying the ointment no there's it's just that's so funny yeah I I I would love just one throw they should do throwback flights one throwback flight where it's 1950s where they but they advertise it You can smoke on the plane and you gotta wear a suit That's another thing you gotta you have if you don't get one or the other you gotta do it all you gotta do it all Yeah, God, I would love to do one of those people had like self-respect on those fights

That's when planes went down all the time, too Did they yeah, I mean I've been watching a lot of airplane crash videos. Why? You hate that shit. I know, but I got cocky. I thought my anxiety was good and then I got on the plane yesterday and I was noticing when the plane was moving, Leanne didn't even notice it and I went,

I wonder if I'm like more tuned in because I have my anxiety. I have flown in so many situations where, there's real malfunctions and I don't even get a little bit of anxiety. I thought of you on my flight coming in, because it was really bouncy coming into Austin yesterday, and I don't have a problem landing.

Bouncing landing doesn't bother me, it's always takeoff. Takeoff. Takeoff. And the idea of having to sit for two and a half hours fucks my head up. In a tube. In a tube, and that I just start going like, what am I gonna fucking do? And that's why I almost drank at takeoff and then I was like I don't want to drink on a plane. I'm healthy right now. I'm the healthiest I've ever been and I was like I know this is what will kill me is

drinking all day on a fucking plane and then going out to dinner and drinking at night. So you didn't drink on the plane. Did not drink on the plane. And it was turbulent? It was turbulent coming out of LA and it was turbulent. So you didn't drink on the plane. I did not drink on the plane. And it was turbulent? It was turbulent coming out of LA, and it was turbulent, it was fun, the whole flight, turbulent coming in. But you weren't anxious in the turbulence, or you were? Not landing, because I feel like we're already on our way down.

But I'm saying, on the way up, you were nervous. And I, I mean, it was really bad. I started sweating, and I was shaking, and I go, I looked at the end, I go, this is fucking physical. Like, I'm not, I go, I'm not gonna drink. I'm not doing this as a put on. So like, hey, look, I should get a drink.

I'm like, I'm not drinking, but look at this, this is real. She's like, so funny, I don't even feel it. And I was like, yeah, I feel it. It's coursing through my fucking veins. But I wonder if that, cause I wondered, I wonder sometimes if I'd be able to dodge a punch. I've dodged a couple punches that I saw. Dodge a punch?

Yeah, because my anxiety is so high. I wonder if that's like a superpower is if like, Like you're just. Yeah, like if I always, like when I, I regret speaking like this already and I haven't even said it. But when I hung out with Nate Diaz, Shane Gillis said he was gonna fuck me up.

He was like, just so you know, they're gonna jump you. Jump you? Yeah, and I was like, Gillis, I don't know, he likes heightening the fucking anxiety too. And so I was really nervous. I was very terrified that I was gonna be, that I might get jumped. And then I thought, now's the time I find out

if I can duck a punch. I was like, how badass. If I'm gonna get a slap in the face, and I just go, and I duck it, and I go, oh. And I find out if I can duck a punch. I was like, how bad ass, if I'm gonna get a slap in the face, and I just go, and I duck it, and I go, oh. And I find out then. Well, here's the thing. They're definitely gonna do that now. No.

Now that you put that out there, you're gonna get slapped. No, Nate and I are buddies. You're still gonna get slapped. Nate and I are buddies. I believe you, I believe you. Nate and I are buddies. Okay, I think you're gonna get slapped.

I'm not getting slapped. I don't wanna get slapped. That's why, I'm done talking about MMA fighters. Oh, are you? Yep Nothing, but respect good and you know what I cuz I always thought It's it's all jokes, you know, and I told Nate that I go every I always make jokes about the guys who get it The guys who get comedy I make jokes I made jokes about Connor and Nate and Izzy. Yeah, and but then there are a couple guys that don't get the jokes Yeah, they really don't get jokes.

And so I would never, so I was like, I'm gonna just stop talking altogether. And now you're watching all these YouTubers get fucked up by MMA fighters, and you're like, oh. I could totally see you talking some wild shit to Shawn Strickland and then being like, haha, right? I would never say anything to Shawn Strickland. I would never say anything to Sean Strickland. I would never say anything to Sean Strickland.

Oh, so you learned your lesson. Actually, Sean Strickland's a no-fly zone for me. I actually have nothing but absolute respect for Sean Strickland. No, I'm being serious, because I know that Sean Strickland, if you said something even misinterpreted, he is a guy that has no problem slapping you

in front of everybody. He is alpha male. He is the dude in school that you either friends with or you in front of everybody. He is, he is, he is alpha male. Like he is the dude in school that you either friends with or you're not friends with and I want to be friends with him. I like Son Strickland. His interview with Theo is fucking amazing. I like everything about him. He always has a gun on him apparently. Like do you see him at the surprise party? His wife threw him, they threw him a surprise party and he pulled a gun out. At the surprise party? He was like whoa! He walked into his house with a fucking ton of people just pulled his gun out. I was like

Sean Strickland is Fucking old school. Yeah, old school man. Mm-hmm. It's like it's like that Chris Rock joke Yeah, but can you kick my ass? Yeah, can you kick my ass? Yeah Sean Strickland is I am I love you Sean. I have nothing but respect my ass. Yeah. Can you kick my ass? Yeah. I love you, Sean. I have nothing but respect for you. Let's get, let's wait in a whole other direction. Let's go. Let's go. MMA fighters that we have nothing but respect for. Fucking all of them, dude. What are you talking about? Like, like, uh, like you, like, I'm like, I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. Yeah. I remember saying,

it's just like a wild cat exhibit at the zoo. That's who they are. They're just fucking pumas and panthers and tigers and lot. You just gotta be like, oh, it's cool to watch from over here. That's what it is. It's cool to get close to them sometimes, but I'm like- Yeah, yeah. It can always turn.

It can. Like we know when somebody goes like, no, they're cool with like a tiger. It's cool. I work with it every day. And you're like, yeah, no, no, I see. That's cool. Over there is fine. And I think you forget how big they are. Like, like even just shaking Nate Diaz's hand. Like I remember I was, I said, when I was in Ireland, I was like, let me see, like joking, you know, trying to sell tickets. Let me see Conor McGregor.

Yeah. And then I saw him and I felt his shoulder. Yeah. And it was like, it was like, you know, reminded me of Rogan's shoulder, just this fucking lump of boulder. Yeah. And it was like, you know what reminded me of Rogan's shoulder? Just this fucking lump of boulder. And I was like, fuck. That hand thing too, when we were in Vegas and we were together when we met Johnny Manziel. This episode of Two Bears, One Cave is brought to you by Saatva.

I want you to go to Saatva, S-A-A-T-V-A dot com slash the shit for $200 off any mattress of your choice. I have heard from so many of you because I have been an authentic and genuine user of Saatva products for over a decade. I love them, it's all we have. I have it in my room, I have it in the kids' room,

I have it in the guest room. I've tried them all and I can't say anything, but're gonna sleep better and be thankful you're gonna send me the message Thank you for helping me sleep on something amazing instead of this ridiculous dog bed that I've been sleeping on go to satva saa TV a dot com slash the shit and get $200 off any mattress of your choice a A traditional mattress, a memory foam mattress, a mattress that vibrates and moves up and down. These things are almost talking to you and I'm sure that's next in the lineup for them.

Go to Sapa.com slash the shit and get that $200 off. This episode is brought to you by the Spring Cleaning Champions, Manscaped. This season, make sure to groom your carpets and the drapes with the leader in below the waist grooming. Clear out that winter bush with Manscaped's Lawn Mower 5.0 and watch your confidence bloom like the springtime flowers. Embrace the season and join in the 10 million men worldwide who trust Manscaped with our special offer. Go to manscaped.com and use code bears for 20% off plus free shipping.

Trust me when I say the only thing I will take downstairs to my junk is the Lawn Mower 5.0. I do not trust other ones. I have cut myself before and I'm promising you this thing is amazing. The Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra is their fifth generation trimmer with feet which features two interchangeable next-gen skin safe blade heads. A standard one for taking a little off the top and a new foil blade to go smooth wherever your heart desires. It also features a dual LED spotlight to guide you through the darkest winter debris. Navigate with confidence in your delicate areas. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code bears at manscape.com. That's 20% off and free shipping with the code bears at manscape.com. Nothing like a little spring cleaning in your pants. And like he's not a big guy,

but his hands like a baseball mitt. You mean Baker Mayfield? No, Johnny Menziel. Wait, when did we, was he Johnny? God. We met him at the slap fight. Oh fuck, yeah. Oh shit, yeah, I totally forgot that. You sat down and talked. We were cowboy Sironi. Cowboy Sironi's someone I'd fuck around with. Sure, well he's very funny.

He gets it. I would make jokes like, cause I think he knows it's meant as a joke. Yeah, he definitely does. He has a good sense of humor. But he's also a fucking man. Yeah, no, I wouldn't fuck with him. I'm saying he's funny. He gets jokes. Yeah. He was funny that night. He was hilarious. He was talking shit.

He was talking shit too. Like it was dead silent. And then there he was like, it ain't shit. And I kept going, he said that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he was a lot of fun. God damn. Yeah. Those guys are fucking. He was a lot of fun. Uh, but yeah, but Manziel, yeah, yeah. No, he was a lot of fun. God damn. Yeah, those guys are fucking he was a lot of fun But yeah, but Manziel You clearly don't remember I do I do now but that that's a fucking bears paw on him and then you're like, oh that's That's definitely that there's just different builds to these people. He's doing really good. I Know I now that I remember running into him,

he's doing good and he's playing great golf. I've been talking, I talk about him on stage. I know. And Sean, you know Sean who I work with? Yeah. I've been talking about him on stage for a few months and the other day he goes, dude, Johnny Manzell's white?

I was like, yeah, he goes, you've been talking about him, I just assumed he wasn't because you said how good he was. I was like, yeah, there's a few. been talking about him. I just assumed he wasn't, because you said how good he was. I was like, yeah, there's a few. There's a few outliers. Johnny Manziel's like Big J. He likes the fun of the spontaneousness of the sport.

Like if you tell Big J, hey, you're gonna have to write a Conan set, he'll be like, I don't wanna do it. Johnny Manziel's cool as fuck. Yeah. I think all, I think, did you see Jason Kelsey's retirement speech? Yeah.

Yeah, it was emotional. Some cool watching a man cry. Yeah, about what, like something that's meant a lot to him. Yeah, because. Something he's been dedicated to for, you know, his entire adult life. He's 36, man. Like that means like he's been playing ball since he was a kid.

So it's like. 13 years in the NFL. The majority of his life has been this one, you know, profession. I love that. I always thought he was just the greatest and to hear that he was an underdog was kind of fucking cool. Yeah. That's a big man too.

In person you go like, oh okay. And then he's undersized, that's the crazy thing. When you meet him, you're like whoa. And then you realize for the NFL, he's an undersized lineman. Yeah. These dudes are fucking monsters. Ah, fucking.

He said that What's-His-Name has a big dick. I don't know. Carson Wentz. Was it Carson Wentz? He said, I posted it in my stories. Look at my stories on Instagram. He goes, the big Hail Mary play they threw. Yeah.

And he goes, and the guy, I'll say this with the biggest dick on our team. Yeah, yeah, Nick Foles. Nick Foles had the biggest dick on our team. I love that he brought up his dick size. Well, that became a big folklore thing in Philadelphia. Oh, really? It was like Nick Foles' dick, yeah, yeah.

Big Dick Nick is what they would call him. And I guess he's very kept to himself, the total opposite personality that you imagine. Give me a big dick. Nah, you'd be insufferable. Dude. But I don't know if I'd be me. I don't think I would be me.

I think I needed my dick to establish my personality. I think we all do. I was saying the other day, I'm so glad I was fat. Because I don't think you really appreciate your health until you've once been fat and out of shape and unhealthy and then you get healthy. It's almost like being rich. Those kids that just have been rich their whole life,

it doesn't mean anything to them. But if you've been poor and then you make some money, that money is so much more fun for you because you remember what it's like being poor. I wonder if that's how people that go through plastic surgery are like, I used to be ugly as fuck. I remember the, there's, so there's always see people that like overdo it. But I remember just, uh, I knew a couple of girls who just had crazy, terrible noses.

Oh, whoa. And then they'd come back from summer break with their new nose and they were gorgeous. Yeah. You're like, oh shit, this is what was, this is all you needed. If you go crazy, then you look like a fucking goblin. But if you just fix a bad nose. Yeah, some of those noses, I kinda think a big nose is sexy.

I do too, I'm talking about, these were not beautiful noses. With like big beaks. Big beak. I think there was a chick that was, Buh-caw! Like one of those. There was a chick that was. Fuck! Like one of those. There was a chick that was fat as fuck.

Yeah. Our freshman year. Just, I mean, a house. A big tub of shit, yeah. And then she went, like, and I was. Happy Women's Month. Happy National Women's Month. And everyone wrote her off, and I didn't write her off,

but I definitely wasn't like mean to her, but I was just friend. I wasn't like, I wasn't like. You didn't beat her up. I didn't. I just was like kind of nice to her. Yeah. Like just a regular person.

Sure. And then she came back a fucking dime sophomore year. She goes to all girls Catholic high school. I went to a boys Catholic high school. So the word got out. Has anyone seen? This person, yeah, yeah. I don to a boys Catholic high school. So the word got out. Has anyone seen? This person, yeah, yeah. I don't wanna say her name, edited out.

Okay. Okay. And they were like, has anyone seen her? She came back, I guess her parents sent her to a fat camp and she came back the hottest girl and she was the coolest. Right, cause she had fat girl personality. She had fat girl energy.

And so she came back with fat girl energy with hot chick body. Yeah. And she was like, what's up, Bert? And I was like, ah. Remember I wasn't mean to you? I never hooked up with her. Yeah.

I remember she went for the guy that was a dick to her, too. Of course. Of course. So fucking, she could have. It's a life lesson. She learned. She learned. National Women have. It's a life lesson. She learned. She learned.

National Women's Month. National Women's Month. Wait, let's talk about my blood work real quick. Okay. Perfect blood work. Can I get a bone broth? This is my new health system. Fasting, I am not a doctor.

I am not a doctor. I'm saying, thank you brother. This is, I am not a doctor. Listen to me right now. But I will tell you, I have been doing, who'd get Kettle and Fire? Kettle and Fire does this bone broth and I do bone broth every day. I fast and I try to do 16 hour fast and I've been keto, if not carnivore. I mean, swear to God.

But this bone broth, I swear to God one cup and I feel like I'm done eating. It staves off my hunger. I'm just going to murder this real quick, hold on. Here, take it away, it's done, I'm done. I don't even need anymore, that's it, thank you. Yes, perfect blood work. Clean bill? Top to bottom. Across the board?

Top to bottom. I wanna say this, I'm not a doctor, I'm just giving you my stats. Carnivore for roughly seven months. Carnivore. Keto, a hundred percent. I would say 85 percent carnivore. Meaning rib-eye steaks every night. Eddie V's, anytime I'm in Austin, both nights I went to Eddie V's. I got their carpaccio, their yellowtail, sashimi. I got cream spinach and I got their fucking rib eye steaks. Every fucking night in Austin. Okay.

Cholesterol's better than it's ever been in my entire life. Jesus Christ. Sounds like a chelorio dense meal. Perfect blood work for my liver enzymes. Perfect. Really? meal. Perfect blood work for my liver enzymes. Perfect. Really? Perfect, perfect. And I went, I did the blood work Friday at like 1.30

and I was like, I won't get it till Monday. Unless it's bad, they call you immediately. And Saturday, Friday night, we went out, got fucking wasted. Yeah. Don't forget, let me forget to tell you about the code word The code word. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, so Get home get up at like four in the morning and my blood work showed up in the middle of the night

Don't have my glasses on I'm gonna panic because I've gotten blood bad blood work. I'm fucked up at this point I'm hungover. Yeah, look at it Everything's in the green, everything's perfect, right down the center. And I went, shut the fuck up, eight in the morning, my doctor texts me, did you see your fucking blood work? He's like, this is fucking amazing, whatever you're doing, stay on it.

Dude, carnivore 100%, I drank 57 times in the last 210 days, I've counted them. 57 times? 57 times, but it's more now, it's probably like, fucking 65, since I got my blood work. But 57 times in the last 210 days, and I am staying on it. I'm staying on it. I feel like health is one of those things,

just like I had to be as fat as I fucking was, to understand how good it feels to simply tie your shoe, to simply be able to do, to get on a treadmill and jog Without pain to feel good to get up and look in a mirror and not hate mirrors imagine how she came back sophomore year She was so fucking pretty yeah She and I know that all the other girls were like fuck and they were always cool to her because she was like the Fatshark. Yeah, they were always cool to her. But then when she started out shining them, you see the bitterness

Of course, she never really made it into that center clique. She was always an outsider. Yeah, it's interesting Anyway, perfect blood work code word. Here we go. Okay code word Leanne's been getting drunk lately She's gonna be fucking livid when I tell this story. Okay, she is in the lobby. She's drinking with you lately Or on her own lately when Leanne drinks and she gets honoree She is in the lobby listening. She's drinking with you? Lately. Or on her own. Lately when Leanne drinks, she gets honry. Okay. It's like a bull. You can see the smoke come out of her nose.

Just. Yeah. And so one night, we get into a fight. Leanne's a little drunk. I don't think I was drinking. And the next morning I said, hey, you know I was on your side last night. Like we were on the same side.

She goes, I know, but what was it? And I said, well I think when you drink, sometimes you get honry and I notice it. I can pick it up. Yeah. And even the girls can pick it up. Cause like, it's like a weird honry. Like just have a drink and then go,

and that's why all that laundry's on the stairs. Ain't no one taking it upstairs but me. And it just starts coming out. So I said, there should be a code word. She's gonna walk in this room and make me stop talking. There should be a code word that we use when we notice the other person's drunk. And then when we go, hey,

cause for me, you know mine, I get sensitive and I think everyone's teaming up on me. Okay, she goes. Okay, so the code word will be For you if I notice that you're getting in your feelings because you've had alcohol. I'm gonna say hey blue eyes Yeah, and then you'll know that'll pull me out and I go and if I you notice it for me, huh? You say hey brown eyes. Okay, and then all you know is you hear that you go. I'm centered the person I'm with loves me We're a team nothing bad can happen We go to dinner With Whitney Cummings at her boyfriend. Mm-hmm. I won't say her boyfriend's name cuz I don't know if they're out in public, okay, and so

The end has a martini then another martini and Whitney asks an inside baseball question about like as a martini, then another martini. And Whitney asks an inside baseball question about business stuff, and Leanne, just kinda talking shit, and Leanne just goes, let me fucking tell you about that bitch. And I go, hey, brown eyes. And then it's supposed to work where she goes,

you're right. She goes, I'm getting code worded already? He pulled the code word out. I'm getting code worded already? He pulled the code word out. I'm getting code worded. Can you believe that? And I go, hey, that's not how code words work. She's like, no, this motherfucker, we have a code word. If someone's drunk and they're talking shit,

we got a code word and he's already code worded me. I only had one drink. Oh, our code word. Now everyone knows our fucking code word. I'm like, I was like, this is not how it's supposed to work. I could not stop fucking laughing. I go, Whitney goes, this is not how it's supposed to work. I could not stop fucking laughing. I go, Whitney goes, what is she saying? I go, I just finished her statement on their brown eyes.

So I fucking wrap it up. This is two martinis in? Two martinis in. We haven't even gotten our appetizers yet. So we had to change our code word. But apparently a lot of people have code words that they, a lot of couples have code words. For that kind of thing?

For like, like if you're, if, if you're saying something you're not supposed to say, like you and Christina have a code word, because she likes to tie one on. Yeah, she'll, she'll, she'll get a little loose, but no, I, I don't think I have a code word. No, it's usually like a look or, A look. It's a look or an under the table squeeze.

That's usually the code word. The code word is like, yeah, just like a little leg or a hand squeeze, like hey, Jesus. What are you doing? It's one of those, but I don't have a code word. But code word's a good idea. Yeah, we have a new code word. Also, no, I don't think it would work though.

I think I would say, hey brown eyes, and she'd be like, what about him? And I'd be like, that's not how the guest goes. I was code wording her last night at dinner. Yeah. Cause she, I love when she drinks. Cause it is the chick that I, it is the chick that I never got to date.

It's the fucking redneck who doesn't mind pushing someone into their, like, it's, I love that energy and man, she got, Leanne got lit last night, we all went out to Eddie V's and she called our daughters and was talking shit. I loved it, I was laughing so hard. George is like, mom? And she's like, ah, fuck him.

And just, oh, I love that energy. Wow. Yeah, she's like, ah fuck him and just oh, I love that energy Yeah, she she's been getting she's been getting loose and sounds like it. You sounds like you have multiple stories, dude I have so many good lian stories right now. We went to we went to philip lee's Sushi by scratch. It's great It's great and it we had So much fun and there were two girls that were getting hammered down at the end of the bar and they were just like, they got drunk quick. And Leanne was just, Leanne's eavesdropping on every,

it was, we had such a fucking good, good eavesdrops are the fucking best. It's a good time, yeah. The fucking best. I almost think they should make a thing on your phone where you can eavesdrop better on somebody. You know, like those things they have on the sidelines for being coming around it?

Like spyware. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure that's available. I don't think they're gonna, I think you have to seek it out. Perhaps you've noticed a coworker cracking a tall boy in your 9 a.m. meeting. You could have spotted a group of kids

drinking them at soccer practice, or maybe you caught your own Designated driver downing one while driving well may look like a beer or some crazy energy drink But it's not liquid death is actually a healthy beverage brand that makes mountain spring water Low sugar sodas and low sugar iced teas to why is it called liquid death? Because liquid death will brutally murder your thirst and their infinitely recyclable cans are helping to bring death to single-use plastic bottles. Liquid death also donates a portion of profits from every can sold to help kill plastic pollution. We literally have them around all damn day and they are delicious. I have I drink this I drink the sparkling water

I drink the flavored waters It is my hands-down favorite water on the planet You can get free shipping of liquid death mountain water flavored sparkling and iced tea eight packs With Amazon Prime or grab a can or a case at your local 7-eleven target Walmart whole foods or instacart Go to liquid death comm slash bears to check out all their healthy can or a case at your local 7-Eleven, Target, Walmart, Whole Foods or Instacart. Go to liquiddeath.com slash bears to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer. That's liquiddeath.com slash bears, liquiddeath.com slash bears.

The thrill and excitement of March Mania is here and DraftKings Sportsbook. One of America's top rated sportsbook apps, is giving new customers a shot to turn five bucks into $150 instantly in bonus bets with any college basketball bet. Dude, when I was in college, all I did was bet on basketball. College basketball, in my opinion, is so much easier to navigate than pro basketball. and it's the funnest way to spend a Saturday afternoon Or like a lazy Thursday night, North Carolina listeners. Don't forget DraftKings Sportsbook is now live in your state Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code bears new customers can bet five bucks to get $150 instantly in bonus bets only at DraftKings Sportsbook with code bears.

The crown is yours. Gambling problem call 1-800-GAMBLER or in West Virginia visit 1-800-GAMBLER.NET. In New York call 877-8HOPENY or text HOPE and Y 467369. In Connecticut help is available for problem gambling call 888-789-77777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boothill Casino and Resort in Kansas. call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boothill Casino and Resort in Kansas. 21 and over, age varies by jurisdiction.

Void in Ontario. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. See dkng.co slash bball for eligibility and deposit restrictions, terms, and responsible gaming resources. I love other people's conversations more than fun. Yeah, it's fun, it's really fun. Yeah.

Yeah. We play games, like when we're at, we guess people's lives, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like you start putting, you start assuming, like, oh, that guy, he's a fucking, he's a, you know, he owns a shipping company. That lady, she's probably like a Pilates instructor.

You start building their life and then you ask them. You see if whether you guessed well. Oh, hold on. Can I tell you my two favorite eavesdrops I've ever had? Sure. The girls and I took a cruise from California to fucking Puerto Vallarta or wherever you take that cruise from.

Yeah. And we are sitting having dinner, and there is a table of eight black women. And they are fucking shitting on one of their girlfriends' boyfriends, one of their friends' sister. I think they're all related. So there's family.

Why'd you have to bring him? She goes, he's cool. And I'm not doing the accent well. And they're like, he's annoying. And they're lighting this guy up and there's one seat available. And the girls and I are just, no one's talking at our table. We're just eavesdropping. And they're like, he's disgusting. He smells. He gets drunk. He talks shit. We did not want him coming. And you brought him. And she's like, I love him. And they're like, he's not right for you him coming and you brought him and she's like I love him and they're like He's not right for you And we're just waiting and waiting and waiting all of a sudden Isla starts kicking the table and she goes oh

He's coming and it's better than I thought It's a skinny white dude with like a chin strap beard. He's like yo, yo, what up? It was the best reveal yeah second best eavesdrop Leanne and I are at the beach. This guy's going to hear this. He's going to know I'm talking about him. He is? He has to.

I introduced myself to him. He was that interesting. We're sitting in fucking in, I might have even told you this. We were sitting in the Cayman Islands. And we're in our cabana. And the cabana next door is a bunch of Canadians. And I hear the words. And that's how my first wife almost died.

And I'm like, huh, and they go, and then everyone goes, on your honeymoon? And he goes, who knows? You could get frostbite and bamf in the winter. I took her horseback riding for our honeymoon. We, she almost died. My second wife, now she died. And I'm like, oh, I'm like, Leanne, stop talking.

I'm listening to this guy. He was so interesting, I went over and introduced myself to him. I was like, I need, stop talking. I'm listening to this guy. He was so interesting, I went over and introduced myself to him. I was like, I need to know more about your life. And he was like, I'm a lawyer from Ottawa. Oh, how many wives have you had? I was like, he's like, I'm on my fourth. And she was like, I'm not dying, he kills them all.

And I'm like. I know somebody who's had three spouses die. Yeah, and then, I know. And then I found out that four girls who's had three spouses die. Yeah, and then, I know. And then I found out that four girls that I have at least dated for a few weeks are dead. Isn't that crazy? Four? For real?

Yeah. Like either someone, one of them I dated for like a month, one of them I dated for like a month. One of them I dated for a summer. One of them I dated for a year. And the other one was more like a, you know, fling. All four are dead. How'd they die? One of them died in a car accident.

One of them was a fall. As Xanax. Yeah. One of them was an illness. One of them's missing. So I guess we just assume she's dead. You sound like the guy from that Netflix documentary. Yeah.

Have you seen that Netflix documentary? Which one? The one where they go, so they could show up in scuba suits. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, American Nightmare. American Nightmare, that is the best fucking night. Also the guy though, when he's telling the story, he's like, and she's gone. And you're like, that's your sad face? It's like, I just wanted to help her, you know? Anyway. Yeah. You're like, this is not, you're not

really emoting well. What time did you wake up? And he's like, you're like 11? Yeah. And you waited to 1.30 to call us? Well, they were watching me. They were watching me with the camera up there. And the detectives are like, okay, so we. How about he goes, one detective's like, buddy, what I do is I tell who's talking shit and you're talking shit.

Like this is a lie. And I know you're lying. And then the one guy that did the fucking polygraph, by the way, if you haven't seen this doc, it's so fucking good. American Knight, it's so well done. I still think though, okay. Don't even spoil alert.

No, let's spoil it. Yeah, we'll just spoil it now. Let's just ruin it. Let's ruin it. Let's ruin it. If you haven't seen this, and by the way, we're gonna talk about Spaceman next. But when you watched it, okay,

episode one focuses on the male victim male. Yes victim. Yes suspect When you watching the episode one, aren't you like hey man and something's up with you. He killed her Yeah, because your sheets aren't on your bed anymore But also waited till everything there were three guys in scuba outfits But don't you feel like the way that his emotions read you're like these don these don't feel like. And then the thing is, he's present day, like for the documentary, but then they show you the interrogation room, and it's exactly the same. He's like, yeah, and then they came in and like,

oh God, I just want, I want her. I want her back. I want her back. And then they're like, okay. So you watch that whole thing and you're like, this guy is definitely full of shit. And then the second episode starts with the girl and she's like, yeah They took me and she has the same level of

Emotion where you're like this does it I don't you don't believe her until the end of episode two You don't start to go she goes. Okay, you're walking into her parents house casually on her cell phone. Yeah You're like in her nursing outfit, I think it looked like, and you're like, this is fucking horse shit. And then to learn, in episode three, is when you go, wait, wait, they're telling the truth? The only thing crazier than the two of them is the guy who kidnapped her, who's like,

first of all, she's not lying, I did kidnap her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you better not accuse her of lying again. Yeah, you better not, or I'll start kidnapping your kids. Yeah, he's fucking, and he's giving advice. He's like, first of all, you have terrible locks. You need an alarm system. Get a bigger dog.

You should get a dog. Like it's the most banana story. I, him breaking into people's house about people and then stopping and going, yeah, you're right. I fucked up. That's the wildest thing in the world. Yeah. He broke into that lady's house and then was like,

and then no one believed any of the fucking women. Yeah. No one believed. Now that we're celebrating National Women's Month, we should just step up and say, all those people that work at fucking Vallejo police disp- That was horrible.

They should be fucking fired. And they- The FBI guy was fucking his ex-wife. He had such a conflict of interest. Like he should have recused himself from the case. And then when he gets the lead, like the groundbreaking lead, he's like, eh, we'll look into it.

She's like, aren't you like flipping out right now that I gave you this? And he's like, I don't know. We need to do an autopsy test. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get some sodas and talk this through first. Yeah, it's very bizarre. The only thing that kind of goes over most people's mind

though, is that when you're watching the detectives and how shitty they handle themselves, you have to remind yourself that you actually felt that way about this guy too when you started. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, I never thought. So funny.

Yeah. So like when you're watching him, you're like, this fucking guy is full of shit. And then you're watching the detectives and they're like, yeah, you're fucking full of shit. Yeah. So you actually are aligned with the detective and you don't realize it. Oh yeah. I never realized that because I, because I at a certain point have the foresight to know exactly that they she really did get a

They've caught the guy but they just went so they leaned so hard into their full of shit that they blast them on the news The chief of police is like burn that bitch. It's fucking and then they questioned him in the depth and he's like, I don't remember saying that Doesn't sound like my vocabulary. Let's go through history to celebrate national women's rights and we may be the wrong podcast to do this. Maybe. And also to the women that I've known that are dead, they were great.

Let's take a moment of silence. To all the women you dated that are no longer with us. All mine are still here. Okay. I don't have a big list. No, neither do I. That's why it's kinda sad. I wonder if they're all here.

There's one I can't find. Yeah. Nice girls. Let's celebrate women for a second. Okay. Let's start with the top five bad bitches in the world, meaning in history, we're talking JFK status, Martin Luther King status, but women. They're not there, they're below obviously. Well, yeah, they're women. They're women. This is going to be tough because

there's some bad motherfucking women. They're women. So. And this is gonna be tough because there's some bad motherfucking women. And when you think about, if you're talking history, not the current ones, we're not doing Kamala Harris, right? We're talking ones that had to do, she doesn't make the fucking list. No. No, not even remotely. Nothing, I mean, I would even say.

So we start, we start Amelia Earhart. No. Why? Can't dohart. No. Why? Can't do lesbians. Why are we taking them in? Because because they weren't- They have male traits? We got it, no, yeah, yeah.

They were so focused on pussy, they were like, that's what I wanna do. But she's amazing. Okay, she did crash. That's a good point. Yeah, it's like, no one talks about the people that didn't get to Everest. Yeah. Like he was one of the best climbers. What is he doing now? Well, he's up there still. Yeah, it's like, no one talks about the people that didn't get to Everest. Yeah. Like he was one of the best climbers.

What is he doing now? Well, he's up there still. He's still there. Everyone's like, I mean, yeah, she had some good runs. I mean, there's better pilots than her. There are. There are better pilots than her. There's one, the first female to fly.

But think about the tits it had to take back then to fucking solo solo fly across. Dude, bitches did it before her. Who? It was a chick Googler. First female to fly. She set the record flying from England to Australia. Really?

Yeah, and she did it way before Amelia Earhart. Amy Johnson. She flew solo from England to Australia in 1930. Well then she's on the list. No, she's not, she died too I think. Flying? Yeah, you can't, see if Amy Johnson died,

you can't listen in order. Well she's definitely dead, it's from the fucking early 1900s. At 37 she definitely died in a plane crash. That's a plane, it ran out of fuel, that's not her fault. Really? It's just like a woman not to fill it up before you leave. Yeah, that's true. And then go, hold on.

And then go, how down? We still got 23 more miles. I go, yeah, but we're getting on the interstate. The incident was initially claimed on poor weather, but it was later claimed the plane was down by friendly fire. Shot down is definitely not. Yeah, but we can't really be sure about that. Really?

Yeah. And I think I will stand as the foremost knowledgeable person about Amy Johnson. And so, and listen, by the way, I doubt we're gonna get any blowback from her. No, we're not. She looks beautiful in that picture. First of all, it's got, look, okay.

So you gotta take, these are the rules for the baddest bitches in the world. Okay, what's the rules? And I hate that I'm saying this, but I'm gonna say, this is our game, so we can do whatever we want. They have to be straight. Jesus.

Okay, well no, cause then, here's the deal. Back in the industrial revolution, they only hired women and children because they were subservient, and so they could tell them to do whatever the fuck they, they only hired women and children because they were subservient. And so they could tell them to do whatever the fuck they said they can do. So now what we're looking for is bad bitches who push back against society, still dated men,

so still liked men, right? But pushed against the societal norms. So when you look at someone like Margaret Thatcher, the Iron Lady, she was a bad bitch. She was the first one, she was a groundbreaking woman. Like Rosa Parks, bad bitch. Rosa Parks, no one's got what Rosa Parks had. That's a very, do you understand what I'm saying?

Like Amy Johnson, Amelia Earhart, dime a dozen. Rosa Parks, not. Rosa Parks did something none of us would have the balls to even stand up adjacent to her. So like that's what I'm saying when I say bad bitch. Like really bad motherfucker. Okay, so. Harriet Tubman.

She's on the list? Fuck, yes. And by the way, I don't want to start with two women of color because I feel like I've already blown all of them. Yeah, it's also, it's like, how many are we going to have? So I mean, there's a fucking bunch. OK, I pulled Maya Angelou off the list. I wish she was on my list originally.

I pulled her off. I saw an interview of her on Sally Jessie Raphael that just turned me off. Oh, really? What did she say that upset you? It's just the way she talked to someone. It was like a Bill Cosby thing. Oh, like kind of lecturing them?

Yeah, it's like, you need to be relatable. Okay. All right, so Gloria Estefan. Do you say Gloria Steinem? Estefan. Gloria Estefan. Yeah. Okay, all right, I'll listen.

All right, I mean like, Cuban had to, you know, deal with the, it's, I'll listen. I mean like Cuban had to deal with the, it's a male dominated business. Boom. Became a huge, huge pop star. Okay, Gloria Estefan bigger. Okay, okay, I like where we're going. So now we're gonna. Straight.

Straight, straight. Which is part of your credentials. Yeah, because we can do a lesbian list. We can do a lesbian list. Okay. It's a different list. Billie Jean King, fucking yeah, right? Okay.

But she played a different thing than like. The straight ladies. Yeah. Gotcha. So, okay, so if we're gonna do Gloria Staphon, so then let's name the people in her field that she's better than. Is she better than Madonna?

I mean, you're looking at it now, right? because like there's a time when it was a I think more of a now I think it's without question without question because Madonna's a white chick Gloria Stefan person of color had to rise above but also Madonna's fucking Don't do Madonna Madonna now. Don't do Madonna now Well Madonna in her heyday was the biggest thing in the world. And the biggest thing in the world. But I would say.

And also definitely, here's the thing, though, definitely sexually fluid. So maybe doesn't that not cut. Yeah, she's definitely ate a lot of box. She's definitely. She did. Gloria Estefan did not eat box. No.

I think Gloria Estefan is in that list. And in a bus accident, broke her back, came back, still had a fucking thriving career. Incredible, great business woman too. I think, I will say this, had Selena lived longer, it would be a run, she would have given. You think so? Selena was a bad motherfucker.

Okay. Selena, I just saw the one movie on her, but Selena was pretty fucking dope. Okay. Okay, Gloria Stefan, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman. I say, I say we do this. I say we got to, we can only do, uh, I think we got to pick Rosa Parks or Harriet Tubman. I mean, Harriet had a fucking harder time for sure.

Yeah. Yeah, she definitely did. Yeah, She definitely did. She definitely did. God, I have like a thing for Rosa Parks. Well, we can't let your sexual feelings influence the list. I think it has to be a... No, it's not sexual. I just, I got obsessed with Rosa Parks for a period of time. Yeah.

Yeah, I got really obsessed. You know, she was like the fifth person to sit down on the bus and not move? I learned that in later years that she wasn't the first one. She wasn't the first one. It was just that it had the biggest impact. Yeah, it had the biggest impact because of who she was, church going lady. One chick I think was pregnant at like 15 and they're like, no, we can't let that one

be the fucking face because it's going gonna, and so they overlooked a couple. Did you know that Marie Antoinette did not say, let them eat cake? No. She never said it. Well then what's the, It's just one of those things, it's like everyone thinking Sinbad

was in a movie about genies. So it's just never happened. Does everybody think that? Yeah, type in Sinbad Genie Movie. Sinbad Genie Movie. Non-existent film Shazam has been allegedly to start in by Sinbad as a genie. Everyone just remembers it as their collective unconscious.

Type in Marie Antoinette, let them eat cake. Okay. Marie Antoinette, by the way, a little insight on her. Let me. Is the most famous quote attributed to Marie Antoinette, the queen of France during the French Revolution. As the story goes, it was the queen's response upon being told that her starving peasant subjects

had no bread. But she never really said it. Or at least that's what a podcast I listen to. Oh, okay. Because. Did she ever actually utter those words? Probably not. Doesn't exactly translate to let them eat cake. It translates to as well as let them eat brioche.

Of course, since brioche is a rich bread made with eggs and butter, almost as luxurious as cake, it doesn't really change the point of the story. More important though, there's absolutely no historical evidence that Marie Antoinette ever said let them eat brioche or anything like it. So where did the quote come from and how did it become associated with Marie Antoinette? As it happens, folklore scholars have found similar tales in other parts of the world although the details differ from one version to another and a tale collected in 16th century Germany for instance a noblewoman wonders why the hungry poor don't simply eat a sweet bread Kossum Essentially stories of rulers aristocrats oblivious to their privileges are popular and widespread

legends What's more amazing about this is an ad for your tour was at the bottom of the page. Yeah, it was. That's fucking bizarre. That is crazy. That's fucking bizarre. That's weird, yeah.

It's like getting a pop-up ad for dick enlargement pills when you have a small dick and you're like, how do you know? How is this? Marie Antoinette, Prussian, right? She gets given to King Louis at like 14, he's like 15. Jesus. And they take her to the Prussian border You know what they do to her they strip her nude at 14 and they go. She's yours

Take all her clothes off her send her over. There's like the custom back then they didn't dress her in the like you're ours These are our clothes and had to dress like a Prussian. We want to fucking Paris, baby. Yeah, okay Queen Elizabeth I'm putting Queen Elizabeth on this list. Why I love her Really? I love Queen Elizabeth Queen Elizabeth does not want to be Queen Yeah, her fucking coward uncle denounces the throne for some fucking high society slut. Yeah the By the way, bring up Truman Capote the have you seen this Truman Cody swans thing? I'm all over the fucking map. Yeah, you really are. It's these fucking I switched over to Lucy's Lucy's are the shit and they have these little breakers and I love breaking them

I know someone's let me get one boom the um Hold on stop with true micropod. Queen Elizabeth does not want to be Queen her dad Dies no male heir. she has to be queen. She won't even fucking do it. And she was queen, she let her husband go around and fuck island hopping. Dude, how crazy would that guy,

that guy like lives on a fucking bachelor party on a boat for like five years, he's going island to island and he's like, if they get pregnant, we kill them. Pretty cool, pretty cool. It's pretty cool. I put Queen Elizabeth on the list. Okay. Out of all the queens, you gotta put a queen on there.

You do have to put a queen. So we got Harriet Tubman, Queen Elizabeth, Gloria Sutherland. Yeah, and you wanted Margaret Thatcher on there. No. There's two Brits. Nope, nope, nope, nope, Queen Elizabeth over Margaret Thatcher. Really? Margaret Thatcher on there. There's two Brits. Nope, nope, nope, nope, Queen Elizabeth over Margaret Thatcher. Oh, really?

Margaret Thatcher was kind of a cunt. She, I mean, from my understanding, like the Falkland Wars was all her, the fucking, the big coal mining iron ore thing. She kind of fucked those guys. She fucked everyone. I mean, I know I'm gonna get pushed back, but Margaret Thatcher wasn't like the hero.

Pretty cool what she did. But I'd take Condoleezza Rice over Margaret Thatcher. All right, so we have. Do we do athlete? We should do athlete for sure. Now that's tough, because so many great ones are gay, and you do not allow them in this list. So who can we allow in to the great athlete debate?

It's a no brainer. To no brainer? Yeah. Venus Williams. Straight. Venus, not Serena? Serena Williams. Okay.

I take Serena over Sena. Sena, Sena, you know what I mean. Yeah. I take Serena. Sena. Sena, Sena, you know what I mean. Yeah. I take Serena. Serena's unbelievable. Best female athlete ever? You absolutely have that ammo for that argument, yeah. Let's quantify her in the bad bitch list, ready? Yeah.

Woman of color at a young age playing in public courts on Compton with her dad as their coach, right? Not set up to succeed. Her sister, arguably, is better than her. At that age, yes. At that age, 100%, still goes on to, and then push back from society,

that's the other thing we need, is a push back from society when they're telling her what to wear on the court, and she goes, no, fuck you, I'm wearing this. And she just dominated the sport. She dominated the sport. And she dominated that sport more than any woman has ever dominated any sport ever in ever, ever, ever.

Yes, she was super dominant. Okay. So now you got Venus. Venus. Sorry. Gloria Estefan. Yes. Harriet Tubman. Harriet Tubman?

Harriet Tubman. Okay. Queen Elizabeth. Queen Elizabeth. Jesus Christ. This is a weird orgy. One, two, three, four. So we need one more.

We need one more. Okay. So wait, what's the world we're gonna pick from? Cause we have an athlete. Yes. We have a musician. We have a humanitarian gonna pick from? Because we have an athlete. Yes. We have a musician. We have a humanitarian. The humanitarian.

And we have a princess. So a politician. Okay. Queen. So we didn't take Explorer, because they never really panned out. They die doing their thing. Do we do actress? by doing their thing. Do we do actress?

Who would get, like Catherine Hepburn would be a fucking. I mean, does she push back against what? All the. I'd have been gay though. Oh. I think she was gay. Cause they can't just be great.

They have to be straight and they have to. Oprah. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. watch hers. And then finally she was like, okay, I'm on that pic. Oh, really? Yeah. What does she look like right now? What does Oprah look like in 2024? Let's see. Images. Oh yeah.

She still looks good. I would have sex with Oprah just to lay in bed with her and hear her talk in the morning Really? Yeah, she's still with that guy that guy Stedman. Yeah Probably I don't think a guy like that goes anywhere. I Don't think Stedman's got options he's got options. Whoa, that's what Stedman looks like fucking Al Sharpton Go to that picture on the left, is that Steadman now? Yeah, no, it's back in the day.

Oh. It's 30 years old, man. Oh, Steadman's a good looking man. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Steadman's a good looking man and he's a great side piece. That guy fucking is a ride or die for his chick. Yeah. I think he should get a vote.

I think we should take Steadman over Oprah. No, this is women. For National Women's Month. This is women. Yeah, but he does kind of play Stedman over Oprah. No, this is women. For National Women's Month. This is women. Yeah, but he does kind of play the part a little bit. Yeah, that's cool. So we have Gloria Estefan, Stedman. Venus, Harriet, and the Queen.

Yeah, we have a lot of people of color on this list. What about like- We just got the Queen. She didn't even do anything, she just got poured into it. Yeah, I wanna remove the Queen, but. Top put in, let's just see how our list compares to the internet. Top 10 greatest women ever.

We'll see what a list says. We should have put Jenna James on our list. I was gonna say. We should have had a porn star. Millie Kelly. Oh yeah. Who was the first chick you jerked off to in porn? Marie Curie.

Marie Curie you jerked off to? Yeah, I was like, pasteurization. Who was your first porn star?ed off to in porn? Marie Curie. Marie Curie, who you jerked off to? Yeah, it was like, boom, pasteurization. Who was your first porn star? It wasn't a porn star, it was a chick in Vogue magazine. Oh yeah, no, I jerked off to the Sports Illustrated issue for sure, but I'm saying when you saw porn, who was the first porn? I wouldn't even be able to tell you.

Seriously? It was a chick that put her foot in another girl's pussy. That was your first one? Caught me off guard. I'd never seen anything like that. I was like, no, God, I'm gonna know where this is on that tape.

And you didn't make note of who that was. I don't even know who she was. That's a good move. Whole foot going? Just toes, but it was so fucking hot. I didn't expect it, that's what caught me off guard. That's what I like in porn is when you go, whoa, what's that?

Like I love that. There's something, now there's no new moves left. There's nothing. It's hard to surprise me. Rosa Parks is on there, number two. Wow. We should have fucking kept her. Where's Harriet Tubman?

Wait, hold on. Who's this bitch? Emmaline Prankhurst? A leader of the British. Oh, suffrage. Yeah. Get out of here pass pass Ada lovelace sounds like a porn star keep going

Was the first person on record to acknowledge the capability of what computers could do and worked with Charles by which the father of computers To translate an article which is considered to be the first instance of computer programming That's you know what that means. You know, it means she basically did all the work and that guy took all the fucking credit. Yeah, yeah, which is actually the fucking move. So Rosalind Franklin. Is that what you do on your mom's house? Yeah, of course. Of course.

Rosalind Franklin, she was into, okay, keep going. Oh, there's Margaret. Margaret Thatcher, god damn it. But she could cut her off our list though. The Iron Lady was the first female prime minister and came to power in 1979, 61 years after women got the right to vote. Yeah.

Oof. Angela Burdick-Koots. Not on our list. Sad, you look sad. Philanthropist, one of the wealthiest women in Britain. She co-founded whatever, scroll. Mary Wollstone craft That's back in the day a British writer philosopher and advocate for women's rights. It's nightingale

Oh, we didn't think about fuck. I didn't think about Florence nightingale Okay, scroll we know what she did Mary Stokes. Wait, what did she do? I don't know what she was a nurse. Oh Really? Yeah, she was like a secular nurse. I thought she was a Days of Our Lives actress. Marie Stokes. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho By the way, we're taking those. It's National Women's Month. We should celebrate her. I know. Made tea. I don't know what she did. She doesn't, okay. This is before makeup, I guess. Yeah.

Go down. Go down. She founded the first birth control clinic in North London. Okay. Great. She was an abortion doctor. That's cool.

Eleanor of Octane. Octane. Ooh, that's back in the Dizze, middle ages. The Virgin Mary, mother fucker. We coulda had her on the list. We coulda had her. Jane Austen? Jane Austen?

Shit. I was thinking of a different Jane Austen. All right, all right, let's pivot. You ready? Yeah. Let's do now, top five most evil women in history. Okay. Like we're looking for Hitler's equivalent. All right, Amber Heard. Now, top five most evil women in history. Okay.

Like we're looking for Hitler's equivalent. All right, Amber Heard. Ooh, oh that's, hold on. Right? Hold on, hold on, no, no, no, no, no. She's not gonna make the list when you think about like a Mel DeMarcos, like when you think of like the bad bitches.

You think Mel DeMarcos was not nice? I don't know, yeah, I don't think so. Type in Mel DeMarcos, I don't really know anything about her other than she had shoes. Lots of shoes. So but nobody you got like Eileen Warner. Eileen Warner. The serial killer. Who's the girl that Casey Anthony?

Casey Anthony, yeah. Griselda Blanco? Yeah. There are some real bad bitches. Look at her. Look at that expression on her face. That's, get the fuck out of my face. This is what made me think about it.

I was watching this thing on Vice about the Korean, there's like five Korean families who own everything in Korea. One of them owns the Korean Airlines, or yeah, she owns a Korean Airlines, her family, and they're getting ready to take off and the flight attendant brought her a bag of macadamia nuts and didn't put them on a plate and she had them turn the plane around and fired that person and had them escorted off the plane and then

goes now we can take off yes this is the owner of Korean Airlines? Type in Korean macadamia nuts, airlines. I guarantee you it comes up. What? Nut rage incident. Okay, the nut rage incident, colloquially referred to as Nutgate. That's not the right name. Which is only in 2014 occurred in JFK to New York City

onboard Korean flight where the Korean air vice president Heather Cho dissatisfied with the way a flight attendant served nuts on the plane, ordered the aircraft to return to the gate before takeoff. Wow. All first class passengers including she were given nuts bagged in their original packaging in keeping with the airline's procedures.

However, Cho had expected them to be served on a plate in first class. She questioned the cabin crew chief about the standard procedure of serving the nuts. After a heated confrontation, Cho assaulted him and ordered him off the plane, requiring a return to the gate, the length of light only about 20 minutes.

When the incident became public, Cho and Korean Air were heavily criticized, and in the aftermath, Cho resigned from one of her several executive positions. She was subsequently found guilty in a South Korean court of obstructing aviation safety and given a 12-month prison sentence, of which she served five months.

The flight attendant and cabin crew chief had returned to their positions by April of 2016. That is... That's bad bitch energy. All right, so I guess Heather Cho. Heather Cho, I think we put her on the list. Of one of the most evil women in history. Do you have any Korean dates coming up?

Oh, Jesus Christ. So you got like, so you got like, there are a bunch of serial killer women that you don't know about. Yeah, there's a lot of them. And so, so I don't know if we go all serial killer. Yeah, cause that would fill up a list real quick. Yeah, but like I heard Winnie Mandela was pretty bad.

Really? I heard Winnie Mandela, Winnie Mandela by the way, came in late to the game. I gotta tell you, just for the optics, I think I'd live her off the list. I think you give Mandela's wife a pass. I mean, might be be on birth personal list, but maybe for the show winning

She she first of all, okay, maybe she did deal with some shit. I don't know if you know no No, she just she married him when he was in prison, okay? She married him like like 1997. Really? I think. Okay. Like she wasn't like his OG chick when he was doing all the civil rights stuff and then got put on that island.

No. She wasn't that chick. Winnie Mandela was like the new chick. Is that right? Please say that's right. Well, here we go. Winnie Mandela. Met lawyer announcement in 1957

when he was still married to Evelyn Mace. Oh yeah, okay, so home wrecker. Mandela was arrested, jailed in 63, not at least the couple separated in 92, finalized their divorce in 96, with an unspecified out of court settlement. And then when asked in 1994 about the possibility of reconciliation,

I'm not fighting to be a country's first lady. This is what she's saying, okay. Go to controversy. There's gotta be controversy in here. Because if I'm not mistaken, like he had to do a lot of cleaning up after he got out of jail because of her. Really?

I think I... Okay, let's just leave her off. Okay, she endorsed the practice of necklacing. Okay, she's on the fucking list, Tommy. You know what necklacing is? When they put a tire around your neck and light you on fire. Oof. Okay. That's an execution. She endorsed the practice of... okay, you're right.

I should not say a fucking word about Winnie Mandela. She was a great person. Okay. Okay, let's leave her off the list. Leave her off the list. Maybe even edit that out. I don't know. Okay.

So we definitely have Eileen Wuornos, but that's just because she's gonna represent all serial killers. Also, she's the worst. Or she's the most famous. Most famous. You got Griselda Blanco. Yeah. Did you see that show?

No, but I've seen the docs about her. Yeah. You get, who's like an evil woman American politician? Oh, that's pretty subjective. Well, I mean, yeah, you can probably make a case that they all are They're all fucking self-serving assholes and this is all in celebration of National Women's Month. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah you guys it's all about you I'm sure there's a podcast with two women

No one's probably listening but two women who are doing the same thing. I'm national white men's Awareness Month Is there a national white men's Awareness Month? Should be we've done a lot. I mean, let's be honest. Nothing would work without us. Can we even air this episode? Yeah, it's fine. So Griselda Blanco, Eileen Wuornos, Heather Cho.

Heather Cho, the Korean air executive. Who's like a mogul, female? Oh, it's the Thanos girl. Oh It's Elizabeth what's her name Elizabeth bro no Smith no Elizabeth The turtleneck I think it's Holmes. Huh? I think it's Holmes. Is it Holmes? Yeah, there you go. She's on the list. Yeah. Yeah. Evil. That's evil. It really is. That is. You know, it's evil how and she's completely zero emotion about it. Like,

and she's completely zero emotion about it. Like just nothing behind there. This will be a good one. Put in evil female dictator. Yeah, okay. What's the Latin girl that cut up her boyfriend in the shower and like cut his dick off and stabbed him like 50 times? I have no idea.

You know what I'm talking about? Jodie Arias. There you go. Oh. She should probably. Jodie Arias, oh. She is, you she should probably. Jodie Arias. Oh, put her. You could easily argue she's more evil than Eileen. Casey Anthony's up there. Yeah, yeah, of course. Casey Anthony's up there, fucking Jodie Arias, Griselda Blanco, and then tell

me about this Hungarian bitch. Is this the search you just did? Yeah, who is the most brutal woman in history? You say it. Elena Cuscu. The wife of dictator Nikolai Cuscu was the most hated woman in all of Romania. For over 40 years the couple ran a double headed tyranny. Yeah, Romanian. That was a brutal rule. Top 10 most evil female rulers in history. Okay.

Let's see. Before, okay 280, I don't know, 80, keep going, I don't care, 2080, keep going. Keep going. Give me someone today. Oh Jesus. That's also super old. Yeah, these ones don't count. No one not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Medici's yeah. Okay, that's her, she was friends with Michelangelo.

Yeah. In Florence, Italy, what did she do? Make that a little bigger Zolo. Can we close this ad? It's not to mistake or define Catherine, the next one of our list, most evil female users in history. Pretty ambitious mom considering that three of her sons were kings of France and two daughters were married to one.

Not to mention she had five children more in her marriage with the Duke of Orleans, later known as King Henry II of France. Hold on, what did she do? Just during her three decades of power, she ruled through her sons as regent and their closest advisor, the Nostradamus and the Ruggeri brothers were her pals. Therefore, some associate her suspicious acts with the occult, although responsibility for starting the French Wars of religion in 1562 cannot be attributed to her The huge enol massacre of st. Bartholomew can despite despite what some historians are saying in her defense The woman was in charge through her son

Charles at the time more than 3,000 Protestants were killed that week starting the night of the 23rd and 24th of August. The prosecution was spreading through France late into the autumn to make things worse. The massacre started only a few days after her youngest daughter's wedding. It's not hard to imagine that a vicious mother planned all this and thus lured Huguenots to come to her doorstep.

So there's nothing left to be said except that she was a product of selfish ambition, a cold and calculating woman who used her children as a tool in gaining power and legitimacy and now let's see who else we have. All right, so. Because that's just, she's just a mom being a mom. But she was very calculated is like what this story is. Isabella of Spain.

Oh wow, she fucking, she killed all the Jews. Did she? Yeah, or the Muslims. Self-proclaimed purifier of Roman Catholic faith. Dude, she was a cunt. With her husband responsible for the expulsion of more than 40,000 Jews who refused to convert to Christianity.

I mean, you guys, you guys, get on board. Of course, they had the Pope's blessing since they were given the title the Catholic Monarchs. More suffered the same destiny, considering in 1492 the fall of Muslim kingdom of Granada to the Catholic Monarchs. Okay. I think she's gotta be up there.

She was a pretty evil fucking chick. Look at that face. Whoa. No Spanish accent's Look at that face. Whoa. No Spanish accent's gonna turn that face. Nah. God damn. Yeah, that's real. You know what that is? That's a product of being inbred.

Is the inbreds all look like that? Well, you see that in these homogenous societies, which usually are islands. That's why you see it in the UK. Really? Yeah, sure, because you're like, you're isolated, right? So like if you're Ireland or you're England, you know, even when you're meeting somebody who you're like,

I don't know this person, it's like you share so many genetic traits because nobody leaves, right? It's not. They're like bulldogs. You just keep reproducing with the same bloodlines. Oh my God. Okay, go to the next. So what you're saying, wait, Jing- Jing-tang.

I don't know if I said that right. Oh. Uh. I'm gonna take the under. Uh. Most celebrated Chinese actress. Oh, she was Mao's chick. Oh, Madame Mao.

She was Mao's chick. They fucked. Oh, she was mouse chick oh madam mouse chick they fuck oh she was hot as fuck too she was mouse chick and she was a capital cunt like yeah yeah oh she got oh she killed herself she did yeah she killed herself in prison she wasn't gonna be put to death after she she supported the murder of countless people. The only thing better is when they try to kill themselves and they don't, and then they go get hung with half a jaw. Because that's what happened to Rob's Pierre. At the French Revolution he was like, Fuck that, you'll never take me alive. And they're like, you missed. And he's like,

And then they still cut his head off. You know what they did to Marie Antoinette? I'm going through a French Revolution thing right now. They were trying to get her, find out where she was. The only reason she lived as long as she did is all her friends took care of her. So they took one of her friends, beat her to death, cut her head off, put it on a pole, and then hung it outside the castle where Marie Antoinette

was, and they're like, give your friend a kiss. Wow. That's what people were like. Wait, let's see the rest of the, I gotta finish the list and then we'll just, yeah. What's the rest of that list look like? Mouse chick. Is that her? Who are we at now? This is the same one. Okay. Okay. Go next one. Let's see. Cause now we're going in timelines. This is the top two. So we're going to get. Okay.

Rana Valona, the queen of Madagascar. I saw that movie, it's not that bad. 1800s. Okay. Let's see. Oh, she's saying, okay. She had people, 10,000 people die

due to starvation disease. In addition, let's see, next to the line is some pretty gruesome method of execution that involves flaying your skin off while you're alive. Other messages which were equally horrible, although it seems that she didn't have a good relationship with her in-laws, including her husband, considering his death at age 36 and shortly after her coronation, one can assume that she has done her dirty work as well. Her former lover is neck speared because he didn't want to do

the ridiculous test of faithfulness. Holy shit, which included swallowing and throwing up chicken skins. Yeah, okay. And she lived to 83, she lived a full life. Ha ha ha. She lived to 83? Yeah.

Oh, this is old school. No, we don't care. Yeah. If it's AD, we don't care. Yeah. Well, I guess she was. I guess everything's AD. Yeah.

Oh, she's the number one. She's number one. Wu, Seitan. Yeah. Cruelest female ruler on our list, Empress Wu. Oh, I saw a fucking documentary about her. You did? Yes.

She would get the feet bound. They were all about feet binding back then. Well, she did the things that you expect a dictator to do, that she had a secret police that carried out interrogations and tortures and killings of potential rivals. She's even responsible for the death of her son, as well as her daughter who was strangled, believe it or not, by her. So she killed her own kids.

Yeah, that should put you up there. Yeah. Sadly, she doesn't get the press that Eileen Ornos gets. That's what I'm saying, Eileen's just famous. Why don't they make movies about this? This is a pretty cool movie. Yeah, like there's so many movies about evil dictators.

They should do, because I'm telling you, this is what made me think about this, is I'm watching the Truman Capote doc. I started watching it, I can't watch it. It's not a doc, it's a movie, it's called Swans or Feud. It's on Hulu. Swans or Feud? No, it's called Feud, but it's called Feud,

but it's, Swans are all over it. He had five women, four women who were socialites in New York high society in like the 50s, 60s, and he wrote an expose on them. He was best friends with all of them. They all were getting cheated on by their mans. They all had all this drama in their lives. And Truman Capote didn't have any real inspiration anymore.

So he decided to do a Vanity Fair article, not using their names, but telling their stories. And it destroyed his relationship with them. It ruined him, and it ruined a lot of their lives. And one of them is fucking one of the hottest chicks ever. Really? Oh my God. Her name was Babe Polly, and it was his best friend.

I started watching it, because I was like, this will be cool. I always wondered about Truman Capote and Cold Blood and I knew he was a socialite. He had this like Andy Warhol thing about him. So wait, this is also- Babe Pauly, look at her. This is a different movie than the Capote movie

that came out a few years ago? Because there's a big, it was a famous one. They did like five- Really? Yeah, they did, but this guy that plays Capote is amazing. But I started watching it and then I realized I can't watch it anymore because I don't like Truman Capote.

I don't like him. He makes me really uncomfortable. I hate his energy. His energy was like, they trusted him and then he sold them all the river and then he played the victim because they didn't want anything to do with him anymore. And they were all just chicks that were bad bitches who were married to powerful men who they all got cheated on like in crazy ways. I mean, scroll babe Pauly. Her husband was fucking the

mayor's wife. I know her husband ran CBS. He was fucking the mayor's wife and No, her husband ran CBS, ran CBS. He was fucking the mayor's wife and the mayor's wife wanted him to get caught so she rolled in and let him fuck her on her period and bled all over babe Polly's bed and then was like, good luck cleaning it up bitch and left. Jesus.

And so who were the swans? Look at how beautiful babe Polly is. Oh, by the way, this is what I was thinking. So this is my thought. So all these women are fucking amazing actresses. Demi Moore's in it. Demi Moore plays one of the most, the pose.

She's great. Plays one of the most evil women in history, Anne Woodward. Anne Woodward shot her husband in the face. Truman Capote outed her in an article and Anne Woodward killed herself, took cyanide, because she didn't want to deal with the pressures of high society.

But Demi Moore's in it. I didn't even realize it was Demi Moore. Naomi Watts is in it. Isn't that Chloe? Chloe Sauvignon. All these women are just amazing actresses, and they do such a great job. And in a weird way, and I say this

because it's National Women's Month, but you have all these great actresses that aren't getting the hot sexy roles because they're aging and none of them have had work. None of these women have had work. Yeah. But they're so fucking good in this. I was like, yo, what are some great women in history that these women can hit out of the fucking park because they're great at?

They do it for men. Like Sean Conner was acting until his 80s, but for women, they don't. So then we get one of them to do a fucking bad bitch movie. They did it with Aileen Warnows. It was a great movie. More bad bitch movies, I think. Bad bitch movies. All right, well, that's a good way to wrap up women's,

our salute to women. Our salute to women. Listen, we wouldn't be here without you ladies. Thank you for everything you've given for us. You look at great moms, like Kelsey's mom, raised two fucking great kids. You look at our moms, our moms, our wives are moms, our wives are moms. We love women and we just wanted to celebrate you in the best way we know. And we did it in our own way. Yes. So we'll see you next week. Bert and Tom, Tom and Bert One goes to the top and swallows the other wears the shirt

Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean Here's what we call, Two Bears One Cave