2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Important Message To Fans | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 163

Episode Date: December 12, 2022

It's another episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer! This week, the bears talk about scamming dentists and address fans that don't like hearing the bears talk about nice things. They also talk about how awesome the movie Belly is, how jacked Method Man is, work out competitions and confrontations they've had with people in public. They talk about scary flights they've been on, and Bert demands credit for bringing Aaron Rodgers into their circle of friends.https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://bertbertbert.com/tourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com/

Hey, if you missed the YMH Live a very cool Christmas, you can watch it right now and you can watch it over and over and over with your friends and family. Go to livestream.YMHStudios.com and join us. We had Bobbi Lee, a bunch of hilarious, original shorts and more. Check it out. Go to livestream.YMHStudios.com. You know, whoa. And fucking, I noticed that on one of the episodes. Fucking sickler put his goddamn stupid Baltimore hat up there

and took down my FSU hat. I did not know this. Oh, you didn't with that baby head? You see how big that head is? Yeah. And it smells the way a guy from Baltimore wear hat all the time. 100%. A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a Hey, it's another episode of Two Bears One Cave. I'm Tom and joining me is a guy who's got a few opinions of his own about the Jewish

controlled media. It is Bert Kreischer. I'm on Molly. Nice. Nice, bro. Dude, I get, my blood pressure is so fucking low. I'm using, losing feeling in my toes. My blood pressure is so low, Tom. It's so effective.

So I'm still taking my medication, but I haven't been drinking and I've been working out. I lost weight and I'm just like, what is life? You know, you look at the guy that's selling boats in Orlando and just isn't in love with his wife anymore and he just kind of looks at life and goes, huh? You know? That's how you feel.

I don't know. I really should have been in therapy this month. You should have. I should have, because I, uh, which by the way, you can still do that. Yeah, that's too late. Why is it too late? I don't trust them.

They, they have mortgages, Tom. Therapists are broken people. If you hear one thing I've ever said on this show, know this, your therapist has a car, that car has a payment that's due every month. As long as that motherfucker has a car, you're going to have problems. That's how that works. That's how they make the fucking sausage.

You think he's ever going to solve all your problems? If you were a therapist, right, say you're a therapist, you could charge $1,200 an episode or whatever a thing. An hour. An hour. And Dan. 1200. And so you're my guy, right? So you could charge $1,200 at an episode or whatever a thing an hour an hour and Dan 1200 so and so you're my guy right and so then I and then I you come in and you go Here's my problem dot dot dot and I can fix it right now or

fix it into Like the next time off. I'll you and then I can get $2,400. Yeah, we're better yet I got a line of beach house Right, yeah, I could keep going I could get it I'm gonna lie on a beach house. Right? Yeah. I could keep going. I could get it. Like, that's how that works, right?

I don't know that that's how that works. Pretty much. Dennis is that way. Don't ever fucking trust it. God damn Dennis. They're fucking hacks, dude. They're hacks. Dennis, Dennis, dude, I, Dennis, I've been

the fucking car mechanics of the fucking future. But I still think things with every... And there are people going, fucking preach, Bert, it's true. You know it. I have told the story. I've told the story of the Dennis who completely... I went to see this Dennis that was offering this free thing to the staff of the show was working on.

And then they did it cleaning, and they did a whitening, and they go, do you want us to just check you out real quick? And I go, sure, and then they go, come back, they go, you have 17 cavities. I go, I have 17 cavities. And they go, yeah, do you want us to just check you out real quick? And I go, sure, and then they go, come back, they go, you have 17 cavities. I go, I have 17 cavities. And they go, yeah, do you want us to do that right now? And I was like, no. And then I went to another dentist,

and he was like, you have no cavities, right? He said, you have none. But that also shows you that there's two, like, there's still a decent dentist. Yeah, once in Latin America. Well, this was, if you get a Latin American dentist, because to them it's still witchcraft, right? Like it's still a little bit of witchcraft.

They fix your teeth and it's a big fucking deal. Also, you're presentable to the village, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, but, so when you get, I'm being discharged, I only fuck with Latin American dentists. Okay. My dentist better be like, inner the deal be guy.

I don't know what accent I'm doing right now. That sounds a little like a guy. Hey, my dentist right now, the dentist I have right now, is a miracle worker, a pretty sure he's proven. Okay. And he did Georgia's teeth, my teeth, Iless teeth, and he just gets it. And you needed real dental work.

I needed legit dental work. Three white dudes, you know what they said? No. You don't have to break your jaw. One other white guy, oh, you know, I didn't take out all your teeth. Take out all your teeth, it's gonna change you. It looks like, oh white guys, you Oh, you know, I didn't take out all your teeth. Take out all your teeth, it's gonna change you. It looked like, oh, white guys, you know why?

Those white guys didn't appreciate being Dennis. They want boats, they want status, they want status. This fucking Peruvian Dennis, he, you know what he wants? He wants to make miracles happen. He feels good, his soul is what he's taking. It's because he's Catholic, I think. You believe in Catholicism, you're a better Dennis. Yeah, that's what I always say. It's because he's Catholic, I think. You believe in Christ's Holinesses, I'm here to better do it. Oh yeah, that's what I always say.

Yeah, it's the miracles. He thinks they'll be ordained one day. Well, I thought you backed me up cause your mom's prubion, I bet she has gorgeous teeth, right? They did him in the village with some sugar cane. Ha, ha, ha, ha. She's got some gold ones,

she's got some old school. Your mom's got a high grade. She's got just thoughts against white people, right? Against white people? Well, she thinks she's white some old school. Your mom's got to have gold. Your mom's just thoughts against white people, right? I guess white people? Well, she thinks she's white. She learned that like a few years ago that she wasn't. She was like, what do you mean I'm not white? We're like, you're not white.

You're not white. You're not white. You're not. And she was like, I'm not white, what am I? I'm like, you're a Latin lady. You're, you're all of them. And she was like, I'm not white. And I was like, no.

You're not like a crocodile thing, like, I'm not white. And I was like, no. You're about to get crockin' on all things that's an alligator. Yeah. Yeah. She does look white until you get close. Yeah, she's got her prejudices for sure. She's 78, man. She's 78.

She just turned 78. She looks fantastic. She looks all right. She looks fantastic for 78. You think you'll look that good? I don't think I'll be alive at 78. Oh. Yes. I think, can you think you look that good. I don't think I'll be alive at 78. Oh, I Think Can I tell you I think your skin looks beautiful mine? Yeah, I'm jealous of your skin. You're being serious me dead serious

my skin is a shit. What are you talking about my skin? It's just I've gotten so much Sun damage you look travel channel you look actually though this, in the, I see you like every few weeks and stuff. Yeah. You look much better than the last time I saw you. I'm not as inflamed. Yeah. I think really.

I think my, like there's rosiness, the town of my cheeks and my face looks skinnier. I'm gonna bring some clothes for you tomorrow. Please. I have to buy all new clothes. Oh yeah. So I have some good stuff. Yeah, there's high water, short jeans are in now too.

Yeah. Sure. That is the end result where well the time. Yeah. I, uh, I mean, that's what the boys do. They wear like, like, like jeans that go higher. Yeah, I've seen that. That's not really what I wear.

Yeah. Yeah. You know what I, you know what's interesting? Me and you dodged the, by the way, uh, thank you. I'm really excited. And I definitely, all your watches don't fit. Bring those over too. Any car you can't put in.

Oh, can I just say this real quick? Yeah. I just, every time we talk about like a watch or a car, I'll get us like a bunch of messages from losers that try to tell me that I'm making them feel bad about their situation. You're in control of your own situation and your own feelings. So don't put it on me that you feel bad, that I have something that, oh, but I'm struggling with rent this month.

Figure it the fuck out. Okay? Like, don't make my life be a problem for your life. Oh, but I'm struggling with rent this month. Figure it the fuck out, okay? Like don't make it my life be a problem for your life. If you don't like it, guess what? You're not gonna be able to control what people talk about. People are gonna talk about things that you don't have for the rest of your fucking life. So you can decide like, okay, I won't let,

fine, don't listen to me, don't listen to that person anymore, but you have to control your own feelings, okay? It's not on other people to make sure they don't talk about a topic that makes you feel bad, all right? Like, I lost 20 grand gambling this weekend. Go ahead. You get to choose to be one of the two people. You can be the person that sticks in the fucking hole

and goes, what was me? Or you can be the person that goes, oh, that's cool, I want that shit. Sure. I want to work to get that shit. Dan Cook is my example of this Dan Cook got cool shit. He had cool. Should I just talk to him about it? I remember I got into his car. He had the Land Rover the big Land Rover with a cell phone inside there when I got in his car Now look there are no their comics that saw him pull up to laugh factory back in the day and then like fuck him course I saw it. I went. Oh, that's cool man. I thought that's possible I thought that too and I will tell you as someone that witnessed fucking

Touch that the touchdown of this man Tom Segura Did not always have money You think you were short on rent Tom went through a P camp high epidemic where he was eating P camp eyes left and right and spending his money on P camp eyes living in Koreatown in the sketchiest fucking neighborhood in the world.

That's a great speech man. Because the truth is, you can't look, I understand, I understand if, you know, Hey man, if you, like, I understand if, you know, Hey man, if you got like physical ailments and we're making fun of physical ailments, that's fine. But achievements, you should look at people achieve and get inspired, I think. The main problem that I have with the actual

with the issue is somebody saying, you having a conversation makes me feel bad about my situation. Therefore, you should avoid that. It's like, dude, you don't live in the real world. If that's how you think the world works, that you can let people know that a conversation about something makes you feel bad about your situation.

Good fucking luck. Okay. You're establishing yourself as powerless. You're absolutely. You're taking no ownership of your own feelings. Like people have said to me before, you know, this joke you did, it made me feel bad. And I go, no, I didn't do that. I'm like, no, no, it did. I go, no, no, no, no.

You are in charge of your own feelings. Yeah. You are. So you can't put it on me that the joke made you feel bad. You feel bad. You chose to feel bad. It's not my responsibility to control how you feel. I don't like horror movies. I don't. I don't watch them.

I don't watch them and then complain to Rodrigo Regira's or whatever the guy's name is. Robert Rodriguez? Robert Rodriguez. And then go, hey man, your movie bothered me. You can't be making those movies. No, of course not. There are people that hear, I love talking about watches. I really do.

Because I just got into watches. I, of course, people like it. There are people that hear, I love talking about watches. I really do. Because I just got into watches. I don't have a ton of watches, but I like, I like, when people talk about them, I can't afford every fucking watch. And I love, I talk to Kevin Christie the other day. God, that guy is getting so much. We were talking about the Watch Magnum PI war.

I had fun googling it. Hey, look, I also googled dogs. Not because I want to fuck them, but because I like dogs. I can't googling it. Hey, look, I also googled dogs, not because I want to fuck them, but because I like dogs. I can't buy every dog. We had a major interruption at my show this weekend because your name came up and as we're moving on, this guy goes, he fucks dogs.

And I was like, I'm sorry. And then he was like, Bert, he fucks dogs. And then people were like, what do you say? And I was like, God, damn it. So I had to, like, because there's people who didn't know and they're Bert, he fucks dogs. And then people were like, what do you say? And I was like, God, damn it. So I had to like, because there's people who didn't know, and they're like, he fucks dogs. I go, no, he doesn't fucks dogs. I did this thing.

I had this bit about you. Is it going in your special? I don't know. You don't know? I mean, I had to skinny up. I had a whole fucking 50 minutes on you. Yeah. And it was funny shit, but then... I have a short thing about you.

I think it's staying in. I have two short things about you that I think. Well, I know one's staying in, I know one is. But I had one where, uh, I never mind. So wait, there are people in this world that when they see fancy things on screen. Yeah, they feel it's there. Yeah, of course. Oh, good. Oh, you're talking about a nice car. I don't have a nice car. And I'm struggling right now. It's like, all right.

You, even people should stop talking about cars. Yeah. One more thing I got to tell it to people who are like, because I was thinking about this too. Like, I love this party. You, I love this party. I, I was the same way that you were when I was broke. I never got mad at somebody who was like, here's my 9-11 or here's my role at whatever. I mean, I'd watch those other people. That's awesome. I hope I can get that.

Or I wanna work to stuff. I hope I can get. Here's the thing, if you're still mad about this, just know that it's your mindset and you're thinking like a fucking loser, but you don't have to. You can change the way you think, but you have to accept the way you're thinking right now.

It's not going to get you anywhere. You're being bitter, you're being petty, you're insecure, you're not confident, and you can change that, but you have to be proactive. If you just sit around and you know what, you only have what you have because of fans. So don't talk about it like that. Yeah, but you're still a loser if you're thinking like that. So you're maybe, I'm lucky to have you as a loser fan, but you don't have to be that way. You could be a winner.

You know, you just got to change the way you think. I live one year, came in. I got to the iPad with the pen. Yeah. And it was like it was it was a while back. It was right when I was selling tickets at clubs like legit selling tickets at clubs. $30 tickets too. And it feels good. Which is a big bump. It's a big bump from $20. Anyone can sell $20 ticket. A $35 $30 tickets of fucking. That's when people start fucking leaving you as a fan. Yeah. Uh, too rich for my blood be man and then it hurts.

You read that and you're like, fuck. Am I fucking my, I should go back to $25 tickets, $20 tickets. So I like came in one year and she comes in, she goes, hey, uh, thanks for the iPad for Christmas. I say, yeah, she goes, how many shows did you have to do to get this iPad? And I was like, probably just one. Like I could afford it in one show. And she goes, how many people had to come see you

for me to get this iPad? And I was like, probably like maybe 10, 10 people. She goes, how long did those 10 people have to work to get that ticket? And I was like, well, some of them had to work all day. She was like, so 10 people had to work all day so that I could get an iPad. And I went, you're fucking me up, I la. Yeah, I go, don't do this.

She was like, and then she was like, you should tell the machine. Story echo, I did, she goes, okay, good. It just walked out, I was like, and then she was like, she should tell the machine. Story echo, I did, she goes, okay, good. It just walked out, I was like, that put perspective on like, I put perspective for me, ongoing, I better, prefer, I better be prepared every fucking night

to fucking put on a show. If they wanna hear the machine, the machine comes out. If they're young flying dildos, we're gonna tell a part of flying dildos. Like I remember that, she was young, her little broken fucking brain, she's because she's dyslexic and dyslexic people think sideways about things.

They say the majority of billionaires are dyslexic. Island's little fucking broken brain, brought that back to me the Christmas day. And I was like, fuck. It's a big, I mean, the thing that still, you know, gets to, like, this still wakes me up. So this has been a daunting tour for me as a, I did my 200th show of the year in September.

So I'm gonna be at like, 250 for this year, at the end of the year. And like, sometimes you're just worn out, like you get backstage and you're like, fuck an A, this is the eighth show of the week and the sixth city of the week, you're like, goddamn, anytime I go to Instagram and I see stories of people,

like they're out, like, hey, we're about to go in. It immediately wakes me up if I'm exhausted. Or like if I see them going like, you know, I just, you know, we've got a babysitter and we're at the part, I'm like, oh man, you got to put on a good show, you know, it changes my whole. Oh, yeah, because I mean, look, here's the deal, you know, the flip side of this

is there are people that, you know, hard on their times, like, there was a couple that came to my show, they weren't like, country, they last night they came and they were like, they just wanted to get a picture. And I was like, oh, cool. So you guys are showing like, oh, we're in, we're having rough times financially. We're not, we're kind of making it to the show, but we thought we'd come down and just, you know, say hi and get a picture.

You're, we love two bears. And I was like, cool. I said, I want to, I'll just copy guys tickets. And they're like, what? I was like, well, yeah, your fans, I want you to see the show. Yeah. And they fucking lost it.

They came at the end of the night sober, by the way. They didn't drink. They, they were on hard times times and fucking had a blast. And I was like, oh yeah, for some people you see in those stories, you remember that? They're spending a lot of money to come see you, you gotta fucking put on a show. You gotta, don't just go and phone it in,

I've always been blown away by the comics, I won't say their names, did do a tour and then just kind of fucking phone it in and they don't work on the material. And they, like that has, I want to say names so bad. I want to say names so bad. But you go, what the fuck, you don't care about the words coming out of your mouth

and that people got a sitter and got parking and fucking, that blows me away. You know, sorry, I just remembered this. Yeah, go back off on poor people. No, no, no. I hooked up a couple poor whites that sent me messages about wanting to come to the show. I was like, you know, give that to them. Um. I was on, you know, Colbert a few months ago. Yeah. And I told the story, which is true, that, uh,

that Ellis was still asking, like, to have his ass wiped, right? Like a couple of months ago, he was like, I pooped, you got a wipe, and I'm like, come on, dude. Like, you got to wipe your ass. He's like, I'll do it when I'm older. And I'm like, how old? He's like 16. I was like, there's no fucking way I'm like, come on dude, you gotta wipe your ass. He's like, I'll do it when I'm older. And I'm like, how old? He's like 16. I was like, there's no fucking way I'm wiping your ass

to your 16. And, damn, yeah, I'm like fucking A, and I'm not getting you a car. So he saw that, he saw that video. And like, he was like, you know, trying to figure out the hell's going on. He was like, what are you doing? Where are you?

Talk about me. Yeah. And then I got home last night. And I was like, hey, do you know what I do? He was like, what are you doing? Where are you? Talk about me. And then I got home last night, and I was like, hey, do you know what I do? He was like, yeah, you tell jokes, you're comedian. I was like, that's right, he goes, you're like, I was one wipe his ass, but I do wipe my ass.

That's what I do. That's what I do. That's what I do. That's what I do. But I do wipe my ass. I'm doing those things of change. Yeah, he's like, he's changed on your red tour. Mom, tell this guy I wipe my ass down.

And she was like, it's true, he doesn't need you. He's like Joe Pesci and good fellows. It's been a while, you've been gone for a long time, Tommy. Yeah, you've been gone for a while. What'd you get your fucking shoe backs? Your shine backs, that's what it is. Yeah, go get your fucking shine backs, Tommy. You've been gone a long time, things are different.

What a great, I just heard someone say, Ralph Machio had something he said about Joe Pesky working with Joe Pesky I forgot it. You know it was insane. Well, this is nothing My father would mispronounce so many fucking words for real some and he would say hey, you know that actor Joe pesky And I'm like who where have you ever heard that? Who ever said Joe pesky? But you kids you're dizzy was it because he'd read it and then mispronounced it? Because I, he said all kinds of shit. I thought her name was Duolapita. Yeah.

And I've been calling her Duolapita for a while. She's Albanian. I know that because I've been joking about Albanians and my special. Yeah. And I've been calling her Duolapita. That's a real Joey Diaz move.ians and my special. Yeah. And I've been calling her and do a La Pida. That's a real joy D.S. move. Do a La Pida.

Yeah. And it's because I know who La Pida is and I know who do a Lepa is. So I mix them into one person, do a La Pida. Okay. Do you know who La Pida is, right? Yeah. Big pop star, is that?

No, no, no, type of La Pida is beautiful. La Pida, I think I'm saying the right name. Where's it do a Lupita? Lupita? Yeah, I Can't read what that is, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Yes. Yes, she was in she was in Is that the name of the movie nope not nope This movie. Shh. Okay. But movie is that us, us, us, us, us.

She was in us. Yeah. Yeah, she's very pretty. It's beautiful. I've always been more attracted to darks, Kim Black women. As opposed to lights, Kim Black women? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I just, I don't know. Okay. It's like the girl from do you remember the girl from belly? Yeah, oh Yes, like I'm talking fucking dark. Yeah, the darker the better of my opinion and DMX just fucks the life out of her. Yeah, I remember that That was such a great. Okay. I can't believe DMX is dead. It sucks You he was there that's her right there No, no, no, no, no, no, that's fucking what's her name? No, no who I like is the fucking murder type in hitman belly

Hit me hit woman hit woman hit woman Yeah, okay the one with the fucking hit woman. Yeah. The one with the fucking, she had the feathers in her hair. Oh yeah, yeah. She came in and killed him in the middle of the night. Oh. Cinematically such a fucking,

cause you got hype Williams directing this. How cool is it that you had a, this is what I thought was cool about that movie. Yeah. I, maybe that I'm an idiot, but you're a black man, cinematically putting black people on screen. Right. So it had a different field than any other movie you'd ever seen

because he lit it for black people exclusively. Well, that, you know, he was the, hype was the hottest music video director in the, in the age was the hottest music video director in the age of the hottest music videos. You see black hype? Yeah. What's he look like? Hibolians.

What's he doing now? He made all the fucking best music videos. His music videos were the fucking just insane. So yeah, you're right. He did, I mean, he knew how to light and shoot and but here's the thing, every shot, every shot of that. Like if somebody was like looking out the window in a car, it looked like a music video was about to start. Yeah. Like it just that the angle, the lighting, the cinematography, everything was like, you felt like every shot was,

it's, it was so cool. It was like the coolest looking movie on top of, you felt like every shot was so cool. It was like the coolest looking movie on top of the soundtrack. And method man and that was awesome. Methoman, yeah. Clifford was one of his name in that crazy, that his name's Clifford. Yeah, he doesn't look like Clifford. Yeah, Clifford, he looks like Earl.

That's where I got my nickname, right? Clifford? No. Oh, yeah,'s where I got my nickname, right? Clifford? No. Oh, yeah, of course I do. Yeah. Yeah. There's, oh, this is, I'm about it, about it. Yeah.

Oh, uh, our role's dolo state from state. I remember this movie so fucking well. Yeah. We have to drop it down. Here's my fucker, right? He was eating banana. I love it. I remember banana, I guess.

Yeah. What's the science? Knowledge love it. I'm a banana. I guess yeah. What's the science knowledge? Yeah, he was great. Why didn't he? Well, I would love to know more. I would like to see a bio I would like to read an autobiography on method man. I'm sure that's out there. No, no, but you have a not I don't want to read the one that fucking his agents and managers put together. Oh right like I fucking that's exhausting I want to read the one He's a pretty accessible dude. I bet you have you seen fucking Deadlifting like 500 oh, this is what wild. Yeah, I love that he did that like he's getting stronger shit

Yeah, time in method man naked what he can take Whoa looking at me go to his IG. Jack. Yeah, his uh take it. What? He can take, whoa, look at him. He's falling. Oh, jacked. Yeah, his, his, his, his, like, he's posting this stuff all the time where he's like really getting after it in the gym. Look at that second.

Oh, look at these, he's actually deadlifting right there. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh, he's got 86,000 likes on it. Whoa, how much is he deadlift? That's 4.95. No, no, no, no. Yeah, man. No.

Yeah, so he's 51 or two, right? He's got to be on testosterone. He's in his 50s and look, this is not that hard for him. Yeah. Tikow. But you know, he's always had, he's, look at that. That was light weight.

Yeah, man. He's way buffer than he used to be. I mean, he was always like a, you know, big lean dude, but he's putting on muscle. Do you mean the, give me, I'm gonna ask this. This is gonna be a little fall. He's benching right there. Look at the two over.

Bench, yeah. Oh, what's he benching? Look right there. What look at the two over bench. Yeah. What's he bench head? Look at that. What is that? That's two. Five reps of three 15. Seriously. Shut up.

Yeah, dude. Nothing man. Five reps of three 15. That's what it says. Holy cow. He's, he's a fucking. It's impressive, man. All right.

I'm going to. He's in his 50s, dude. I'm gonna ask a somewhat, let me see this, five reps. Whoa, that looks like tone. I mean, that's, that wasn't an easy one right there at third. He's gonna get two more. I don't know, man, I'm impressed. Oh, look at third he's gonna get two more. I don't know man. I'm impressed. Oh

More you got more in you one more god damn hang out with method man Should let me be the first to say mr. Hot Nichols that was very impressive very impressive Light one up. Yeah, do you think, I don't think he's still smoking weed. Really? I don't think he's like, I don't know, he's a really fascinating guy. He's one of the ones sure.

There's something, it sounds as a wrong thing to say, but there's something sexy about the way he ran his career and that you didn't know everything about him. He was kind of private. He, you know, you knew he was a good dad. His son's name was Dudu. Dudu? Yeah, I remember watching this on Method Man's son's nickname.

Okay. All right. What is his son's nickname? Okay. Oh, it's not. But I only know that because he was, I was watching. Methamann has a glass eye. No, he'll put that in like as a stage thing, you know?

Oh, but he was on Dan the life on MTV a long time ago. He went and got his haircut with his son. Yeah. And I just remember him calling like, do do boy or something. Okay. But his, with his son. Yeah, I just remember him calling like, do do boy or something. Okay. But his, he's, you know, here's the thing, not to, not to Rayquan Smith.

Oh wow. Here's my question, right? Yeah. The hip hop community has always flashed watches and cars. Right. What would be the, what, no one has ever given any pushback to a hip hop artist about a watch or a car? Why would you get pushback?

Like, what is this a white thing? No. Is this a white dude fucking, not achieving their privilege? No, there's like, there's a lot involved in like white dude fucking not achieving their privilege. No, there's like, there's a lot involved in like the hip hop community showing like watches and jewelry and, well, it's, but I mean, that's kind of, and I'm not to say, I'm not to say that, but like as a big fan of hip hop,

I know for a fact, so it's been the joke, like, you know, if you like get a nice car, the joke is to pretend you're a rapper like, oh, shit. Right. You know, like for us. Because rappers do. Yeah, because that's what rappers do. But there is still a thing about like, but the reason, the reason why rappers do it is

a lot of times, you know, they're coming from poverty. Yeah. So it's a way to establish like, I've made it from nothing to look what I have now I was you know they're if you're coming from a community of like real poverty and then you make it out It's like you're showing that I have made it out. There's a way out. Yeah, and I do think people just think oh Tom I always had money because he's white. I don't I think that's what it is I think they forget that you struggled, but I also like here's the thing of course I struggled But like I mean some of that party is part of I also like, here's the thing, of course I struggled, but like, I mean, some of that party,

part of it is probably like, you know, if you're a comedian, they're like, we don't, you know, showing what, but I also am not sitting here being like, look at all the things. I don't sit there and like, flash things all the time, right? Like, I mean, I don't know. If I have, I'm not even wearing a watch today. Like, I don't know.

Why would happen? I don't know. I don't know. Wait, why are you wearing a watch, we robbed. I don't know. I just, I mean, it's a thing is that I don't feel like. Wait Wait, why aren't you wearing a watch? We robbed. I don't know. I mean, it's the thing is I don't feel like. Wait, real why aren't you wearing a watch? I just, I went for, I did the workout this morning

and I took a shower. I don't know. How many push ups can you do in a row? Forties my limit. I can't do more than that. I haven't tried really to do more than like, I think I can go 40 to, between 40 and 50. Yeah.

I don't think I can do more than that. When you see someone do a hundred push-ups in a row, you realize what supreme physical condition they're in. Yeah, that's also there's a really interesting thing too about, you know, the way people choose to work out, like muscle endurance. You see these guys, people watch movies and stuff. They think of Navy seals and green berets as like these six, two, six, three, two hundred and twenty-five pound guys.

And like virtually never are like that. Those guys in those special forces a lot of times are 160 pound guys. You know, they're light lean dudes. And they have smaller frames. Which is obviously helps them to do these great endurance things. And I've seen guys like that do incredible amounts of pull ups and push ups and stuff, right?

But the body is like a smaller contained, super lean body, which is you're gonna have more of an ability to have endurance. These big, big dudes, you know, a lot of times can't do those things, but those guys that are huge can do like that big lift, that 400 pound bench. That's what I did. I did, I posted a video where we were finding out who could bench the most on our boss. Yeah, I was impressed with a Peter, Pete, to 245. Yeah. He got his hand at 255, but that's, I mean, that's what you expect when you're a little boy like that.

But would you get 245, do 55, but it was funny is I didn't read the comments. Yeah, but They were reading the tables read the comments because Dave was go up. Dave was definitely in his feelings about not getting Two fifty five office jobs in the middle below No, it's the wall. Yeah, it's that one. Yeah Yeah, um, and there was a comment, I'm not gonna get into the comments. I honestly stay away from him. Yeah. But he was in his feelings though.

Dave was in his feelings. So Dave, you put up 245, I guess not. 245 was pretty light. This is Peter who's 180. This is Peter's 180. Yeah. To a 145 Dave. 245.

It gets pinned at 245. He's like, oh, aw. And then it kind of bothered Dave, right? It definitely did you see that defeated look on his face? He's so pissed. So he's so pissed. So we read all the comments I love it like he read all the comments and Poor Peter got 255 man, but he was on he almost had it he almost did and then for me it was easy I do this I do this all day You did 255. Yeah easy. Look at you like method man. Yeah, and so

Some the strongest person on the bus so Dave was reading the comments is what I love about the comments Right and I wish I read comments more. I just don't I don't because There's no positive benefit for me. Yeah, I even positive, comment. I think it's a healthy decision not to. Like I'll read the top two. Usually it's poopies and like fucking, they're sending it up from Jackass. I guess it's just like cool people, oh, you know, the other day was Brandon Novak,

one of Ben Marjero's friends who sober, he's like, oh, that's cool man. You know, whatever. Dave was reading all the comments and he was giggling. I said, what? And he goes, this is fucking great. And I love when this happens. Some guy's shitty and then another fan attacks the guy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That is fun.

And the guy, because you don't realize what you're saying when you throw a rock in the glass house, the guys like, Oh, great. You can bounce two, five, five, fucking stomach ears. And then this guy went and I just went to his profile, requested the follow, the guy accepted it. Your wife's ugly shit. The worst one I know I've told you, this is my favorite slam I've ever done on anyone is on Franklin Boehrhard Over by Beachwood

Dude pulls off the 101 on the Franklin and he almost hits me and the rule is usually you know not to cut in If both lanes aren't open you get you that's how that works and he just cuts in and I honks he almost hit me then he Then he gets upset that I honk. How dare you honk at me? He's in a van and he pulls up and he's like, the fuck, what the fuck do you want? And I go, nothing, I'm with the end of the girls. I go, nothing, he's with his chick.

I go, you almost hit me and he goes, I didn't. And I said, yeah, I know, just so you know, both lanes need to be open for you to merge. And he goes, it's not true. And I said, yeah, I know, just so you know, both lanes need to be open for you to merge. And he goes, it's not true. And I said, it actually is. And then I looked at this girlfriend and I go, why don't you have your fat mom Google it? And immediately it destroyed that woman.

She went, I'm not that old, like, and this guy was like, what? And looked at this chick and you destroyed everything they had. Their night was over. They weren't to have good time because you wanted to fuck with a pro. That's what you get, buddy. This is all I do.

There have been days, there have been days you know you've done this too, where you thought, what would be the best thing? I'm a comic, I'm gonna just explore my brain. What would be the meanest thing I could say to someone? The meanest thing I could say to someone. And then I came up with it. Oh, and I heard him. I lived by that. Oh, yeah. I remember one two time I got a dude to spit at me and his car and his

window was up. He spit at me in his car. You know, I did. I went like this. He was yelling me. I went, Oh, check, please. Anyway, and spit on his own fucking window. That's a good feeling. Yeah. I miss. I miss it. I don't really get into road rage anymore. Now, I make them feel like they won. Because I know that if they feel like they won, they will continue that behavior. And one day that's going to bite them in the ass. Oh yeah.

I'm not going to get choked out by a pro. Yeah. Exactly. I go, got you're getting, got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got you got God darn it! Do it! Do it! And then they take off, I got that! That's what I do, motherfucker! Yeah, and then the one day they'll run into Eddie Bravo is gonna fucking...

Alright! And joke him out. Fuck it. I kind of try and think of the last time I really went off on somebody. Hmm. Hmm, that's... Do you get a lot of road rage?

You just... No, not really, not really. I'm not an angry driver. I mean, I also let, like, it's funny. When you drive, like, a car that can... There's people are always trying to race you in their shittier car. They come up to you and they're like, whoa! And you're like, no. And then they, you know, try and I'm like, yeah,

I'm not, I'm not racing you in that man. I had a Corvette, I had a Corvette for a week. Like a legit nice Corvette. It was, Chevy gave it, let me drive it for a week. It was really fun to drive. That's the best. But I was amazed at how many people looked at me and disdain.

They were like, ugh. Yeah. And you're like, wow. So when you get a Corvette, you get that. Like a Corvette, a Corvette's kind of an obnoxious car. Like out of all the sports cars, you can get Ferrari, Lamborghini, Corvette. Like a Porsche is like, almost like,

like you're getting in there. Like people allow it. They're like I was gonna go to the car, you know Like a fucking Lambo. Oh, that's obnoxious. Oh, that's the most obnoxious one. It is it is literally like you're farting in line Brochery story people the fuck are you doing in the did you see the the The Corvette i had for the day with me yes yes yes that was fucking nice that was nice fucking that was the old school right like a sixty six or something what was that fifty six fifty six okay fifty six corvette and that was cool man it was so fun you know though when i saw you in it

man it made me feel like shit because... I got to pay my life insurance bill. And my... I had a guy pull up to me in that car and he goes, is that thing electric? And I went, and he goes, yeah, I know. And I went, okay. And he goes, it's a girl looking car.

Those things destroy the environment and pulled off. And I went, okay. And then one guy, you should tell him to come to my garage. I got some real fucking, one guy I was driving down, I was driving down Lowell K and I was shirtless at this time. Because Leanneanne in her infinite wisdom gets me the car for the day because it would be fun right? Yeah, yeah, let's go to the beach and it's cool fucking drive around.

It's fun. She didn't say that until she showed me the car. She showed me the car. I was like, look what I got you. You're like, oh, god. It's hilarious. I have the full edit of it, because obviously they're gonna videotape to it. Yeah.

She says it on the steps. As I walk out, if you watch the video, I said, she says it on the steps, I rented you this, and I went, wait, wait, hold on. Like, but it was like, hey, can I show you a birthday? I got here early, and I was like, oh, early. And I walk out, and I'm like, holy shit. And then on the steps, she goes, I rented it for you and I was like

Wait and I my reaction wasn't good. I thought she bought it. Yeah, of course I was like you mean you almost did the first cool thing ever for me. Oh, I was like I gotta be honest with you. I looked ridiculous in the car. I looked so big in the car So they didn't make humans that big with a car Yeah, I see that. Yeah, yeah. And then she was like, and then in her true infinite wisdom, she was like, I thought that would be cool, you could promote your tour, your top-salt-for-world tour.

And I was like, oh, but it, everything took me a second to process. Now mind you, it was like two weeks for my birthday. So I did it on out of there. That looks pretty fucking cool, man. I looked ridiculous in it. I really did look ridiculous. I couldn't tell him, I couldn't see through the windshield. I had saw over the windshield. Like I was looking at like look where my head is. I'm looking at the fucking I'm looking right at the watch and we'll call it.

Yeah, but I'm driving shirtless. I look pretty good in this next picture right here. Look at my chest Look at that arm. Look at that arm. Look at that arm. Yeah. But here's the deal I'm gonna make. I've already thought this through a lot, okay. From here on out, unless I'm flying to Europe, okay?

Or it's a vacation with my family where I'm not going to drink in an airport, at an airport, at an airport. At an airport I will never drink. I will allow myself the caveat because I was on a fucking bump, the bumpiest flight of my life in the Minneapolis the other night. And I was like, I almost broke. I was like, if I had a double jack on the rocks, My fear would go away and I could relax.

I will allow myself that in moderation on planes, in scary like bad turbulence. Okay, but I am never going to drink at an airport again. That's a claim you're making. Yeah, because I, and I, I remember one time, you know, I said my prayers before I fly. I remember one time I was saying, I was a, am I always saying to myself, am am I gonna down this plane and then my hell shake now

And I go am I gonna live and I go yes? I remember one time this brain goes my my brain goes But if you keep drinking like this you're gonna die because of these planes and I went oh fuck yeah That's the problem is I would have been you know how drunk I would be right now Yeah, and I would have had drinks in there and I would have been like hey What are you doing after this you'd be like I'm going with the kids I would have had drinks in there and I would have been like, hey, what are you doing after this? You'd be like, oh, I'm going with the kids. I'm gonna come by. I would love to see the kids.

But you know, ultimately I would be like, I know push them open bottle of wine with me. And then hey, can I come hang on with you guys? Oh yeah, sure. And then next thing you know, tomorrow morning it's me and you here and I'm like, well, fuck, let's have another one. I've been drinking all night last night

and we're going over to Rogan. We might as well get fucking lit there. And it's like, that's the part I'd like to get rid of. I don't want to, I do not ever want to quit drinking. Because drinking is such a fucking beautiful way to connect to people. It allows you an opportunity to see, either I was someone you would never talk to.

I might do a show, I might do a show where I travel around the world and drink with the most obscure, like drink with Hezbollah. Like go in, that's my thing, Nidob, you know those people. So I go in, I go in to like the biggest terrorist in the world, right? And then I go, I go, instead of doing the interview where I go, so tell me about your thoughts. I go, hold on.

And then I pull out some prune wine or whatever they drink over there. Yeah. And I'm like, would you care for a glass of this? And then the guy goes, oh no, in my country, we don't allow that. And then I go, maybe a little bit, and he goes, no one's looking. Yeah. And then me and him have a little sip.

And then he goes, I love strip clubs. I'm like, I love strip clubs. We should go to a strip club. He's like, I just learned that on fire playing or whatever. Yeah, sure, sure. Yeah. I just, you know, it's funny. You get like I just learned that on fire plane or whatever. Yeah, sure sure Yeah, I Just you know it's funny you get scared on those flights. You're saying terrible and I had two flights recently where

one one of them the visibility was so bad that the pilot said we're gonna do an approach and if we can't see the runway, we will do enough fly around and attempt the second time. And if we can't see the runway on the second time, we will then go to another city, because we have enough fuel to fly to another city.

As you're saying this, there is a guy who pulled me aside, I don't know where I was, but he goes, I need to give you a message to give Tom. He needs to get his instrument ratings. I don't know what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know what you're saying. You can say it.

Give Tom. It's a process. Yeah, okay. So we are, we're on this approach, and I had told these pilots, because they were like, visibility is not great. And I was like, oh, bullshit. And they were like, well, it really isn't.

We can depart, but they were like, this will be the plan. Like, we might not be able to land. So I'm like, okay. So we start getting close to the destination. And we're starting to descend. And you can't see anything out the wing when you're looking out the window. Oh wow.

Where the fuck are we flying into? Into Halifax. Sleepy Hollow. So the visibility is like, I think the ceiling they allow to approach some place is 200 feet, right? And then- That's 20 stories.

And but anything below that, they're like, When am I wrong Am I wrong? Why is he laughing? It's just a funny type of measurement. That's how I measure everything in stories keep going Story teller motherfucker We started approaching and this fog is like unbelievable. We're descending, right? So we finally break through and also and I see a little bit more. I'm like, oh, we're cool.

We're still like, let's say, you know, 10,000 feet in the eye. We're still, you know, we're just descending. I think I'll work cool. I can see a little bit out there. And then we hit a new layer of fog. And this one is even worse. Now, I can lean and see out the front cockpit. You can't see a fucking thing.

So they turn all the lights off because light bounces off a fog, right? It just looks like... What time is it? It's late. It's late. It's like midnight. Oh, shit. So I'm like, it's late, it's like midnight. Oh, shit.

So I'm like, oh, shit. So we're continuing to descend. And as we're descending, I just get this feeling. I was like, I don't think we're gonna be able to land. And then I go, we're probably just gonna crash and die, right? Like I think that in my head. And then I go, I guess I'm gonna die right now, you know? And I don't get nervous about it.

I was like, I guess we're just gonna die. We drunk. Not at all. And. Because I've had that feeling when I'm drunk. I'm like, I think we're dying today. I was like, they were gonna die. And drunk, I just go, I'll survive it.

Ha ha ha. We end up, we look out, dude, do you know when we actually see the runway? Like three seconds before we land. It goes like, you go like, oh, and it's like, and you hit the, and you hit the, and I was like, holy shit, and everybody on the plane was like, you know, and the pilots came back after they taxi, they came back into the cabin and they were like,

they're like, I haven't done one like that in a long time. And I was like, you wanna do it again? And they were like, no, no, we're getting out of here. Yeah, everybody was like really like, another one where the turbulence was so bad that on the approach to land, the plane went like this. And then when they went to correct, they over corrected, so it went back the other way.

And I was like, over definitely crashing. That's what I said out loud. We're definitely crashing. I love that you just show. So next to me is like, don't say that. I love that you just think then that's to me is like, don't say that. I love that you just think then that's how that works. See, that's the problem with me on a plane.

As I go, I'm not ready to die. Gabby Rees told me, you're taking care of. Do you're not going to die on a plane? And I was like, great. And then I got on that flight. And it was the worst turbulence I've had. And even the flight attendant was a gated and just his reaction was like, whole and I was like, motherfucker, I was, and I was, I was stressed.

I'm holding on like this. And he's just looking at me like, whoa, all this whole time. And then this black dude next to me, kid in Balenciaga covered Ted to toe. It had to be a rapper. Kid, kid, I fucking Balenciaga. I don't even know what it is, really a Balenciaga. I know it's expensive. It had to be a rapper. Get that fucking Balenciaga. I don't even know what it is really a Balenciaga. I know it's expensive.

It's Tim Dillamore's it. Yeah. Head to toe, head to toe. And he put his hoodie over his face. He didn't want anyone seeing his face. I thought it was Tyler the creator. Cause he didn't want anyone seeing his face. The whole time is what he was like this.

You think it was Tyler? I don't know. Yeah, it was a bigger dude. I mean, I look at like rappers like, hey, do you know who I met the other night? Who? Freddie Gibb. Yeah, I know Freddie Gibb.

He's a really good rapper too. Yeah, I'm the guy. He was a very sweet dude. I shouldn't say that. Was that your show? No, no, no, he just, he was at the comedy store with Brian Moses. Oh, you know, a bunch of the Packers came to my show

in Green Bay. I heard. That was really fun. I heard. Is that, and it's interesting that no one says thank you. Not you, not Aaron Rogers, not Joe. For me being the conduit for which we all know Aaron Rogers. I befriend Aaron Rogers.

I become best friends with Aaron Rogers. And I introduce everyone to him, including everyone. He'd already been texting with Joe. But, but interesting, interesting. No like, text from Aaron, he was like, thanks for introducing me to Tom. I really understand.

He told me how, he was like, man, you look really good. And I go, oh, thanks man. He goes, what are you down to? And I'm like, thanks for introducing me to Tom. I really love his standoff. He told me how he was like, man, you look really good. And I go, oh, thanks man, he goes, what are you down to? And I'm like, you know, and then he goes, what about Burr, what happened to him? And I was like, he's getting there. I was at my fattest one. I pull up the picture of me in Air Rogers.

It is the worst picture you'll ever see of me. Really? It is so bad. And I went for a jog that day. It is so bad. See, look at this. Look at this fat. Just zoom in on that fat fucking smile.

Yeah. Yeah. Someone, someone hit me up. They're like, in Rogers and six, too. Wait, did he go, did he go, did he wear the same thing to your show? Is that him at your show? What do you mean? Is that picture with him in the white hat?

No, no, no. Oh. So what was he like? What am I saying? What was he like? I meant, too. But what was he like? Was he cool? Oh, the coolest.

He's the coolest, right? He's a cool fucking guy. You know what really stands out is that Aaron's only like four years younger than me. And you're like, you're in the NFL still, right? And then you realize he's in his 18th season in the NFL, which is fucking bonkers, like to play any position, but you're like, you're just like an elite player at that age. If he said to you, if he said to you,

Tom, I'd like to do a boys trip. Just me and you, go down to Costa Rica, do Iowasca, you guys like doing Iowasca, whatever the fuck you guys do. Would you take off a weekend to go hang out with Aaron Rodgers? Yeah. Really? Did it go to do that for sure?

Oh, okay. You wouldn't? No, no, no, no. Aaron can come to my house and spend the night, but that's about it. Who do you think you'd answer? Is he the first number in your phone? No. Did you put his number in your phone?

No. Did you get his number? No, we just follow each other on Instagram. Here, let me give you a call. Okay. Alright. Look at this. The first number in my phone.

Yeah, that's a good one. Smart. That his parents did that. His parents are smart people. They were thinking about phones. A-A-R-O-N. I want to spell my name, B-B-E-R-T. There you go.

B-A-E-B-E-R-T-O. A bird. I know aT. There you go. BA. BA. A-B-E-R-T. A bird. I know a bird. Oh my god. Oh my god. Jesus. Um, no, but here's the other thing that stands out.

So like the whole offensive line came and they're like 22 to 25 years old. Tom just asked if I could give him your number. Stop. Don't tell me you're sending that. You're not sending that. The first thing I'm going to do is send him your number. Stop. Don't tell me you're sending that. You're not sending that. The first thing I'm gonna do is send him a clip of this. I'm gonna give him a clip of this.

Are you okay with that? Send me this. He's such a wreath. I can hate you. He had such a great time stop stop He's all air in this air shut up dude Yeah the worst Oh, this is fucking so much fun. Yeah. Send me that today.

What are he? He's, who's his best friend? Who's Aaron Rodgers best friend? I've done it. We should do Boy's Trip, his best friend and our best friends. Let's see if we can gel. Okay.

Who's Aaron Rodgers best friend? Oh, it's Miles Teller. What? Oh, David. Bring David. I bet he makes Greek food. David. How do you say that last name. Bacchari. You're just saying, is it? Yeah, he's a lineman. How do you say his last name? Is it Bacchari? Bacchari. Aaron Bacchari.

David Bacchari. Okay, let's see a picture of him. I think he's more like the Bert and then Aaron's the Tom. Let's see. Yeah. I'm almost certain. He's a bigger dude. Like looks more muscular.

Yeah. Oh yeah. He looks like Jason dude, like looks more muscular. Yeah. Oh yeah. He looks like Jason Mamoah got stung by a B. He was at the show. He's a big mother fucker. That's my guy. All these guys though. Me and Jason, me and David.

They have fucking baby fake. That's the thing is you look, you feel so good. Oh, they're children. Yeah, they're like 20 something years old. He's a kid. I think the thing is that when you're a kid, you always like, you go like these pro, they're like men to you. And then when you become like a grown man and you're sitting here, you're like, well, you're 24 years old. Like you

feel like you're talking to like a kid, you know? And then you realize they're like, they're kids in these ridiculous. There was one of the guys was there was six, nine, three, 25. And they're like, oh, yeah, he lost 80 pounds the guys was there, was 6'9'325 and they're like, oh yeah, he lost 80 pounds. I was like, this guy was playing at four fucking O'Fine, Jesus Christ. What a fun. What do you think would be your favorite part

about being a professional football player? I'll start. Getting the end to go into the equipment room and pick whatever shorts you wanted. That's the fucking most fun. Oh, yeah, I love practice shorts. Dude, I think the most fun part about being a professional football player is the same thing that's the most fun about being a high school football player. It's the fucking hanging out with your buddies. It's the camaraderie. That's the most like these guys, you can tell

like when a team clicks, when they have a bond or have and it reminds you like Oh, yeah, I remember like doing that as a as an amateur and that's the thing that's the most fun Probably getting paid to his fun, but like it's actually like I bet I'm much it money desire Rogers make. Oh my god. He got you don't remember the what happened in this all season Oh, I kind of do he like had a big deal or something and we he was like I don't know if happened in this all season? Oh, I kinda do. He had a big deal or something. And he was like, I don't know if I'm not. How much money did he have to do with the hair of his makeup? And he got a new deal.

Oh, 42 million. Look what he's making in 23 and 24. 59 million in one year? Yeah. This is not including endorsements. Oh, then we're just definitely salary. We are definitely making him pay for it. Yeah, you got to see where you're wanting to take us.

Oh, I mean, let's just be fun to go there and Rogers. Okay, let's go to Asia. We should do what we should do. We should explain to our wives. We're going out with our buddies, David and Aaron, who are single and it would be weird if we all of a sudden like showed up like as if we had wives. Right, right.

So we're gonna go do a guy's trip in Monaco, right? That's a very cool place to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do put David Bakertari in a fucking suit. Sure. We gotta get a yacht if we're going to Monaco. Right, we're gonna try to get him on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Aaron.

We don't cater it, we'll cater it. It's not being cheap, yeah. David, me and Tom are going to make sure Aaron has a blast, okay? He's gonna put the bill. Okay, he's definitely going to put the bill. Yeah. 59 million, that's fucking crazy.

You hear what I said? This is not including endorsements, you know? What is he endorse? Well, you remember the state, if he's like the state farm guy. Oh, shit, yeah. You know, he's got, that's one of them. I'm sure he's got like a dozens.

Yeah, we need indoors. We should tell Aaron to call state farm. Should we do some state farm commercials on spec? On spec. Yeah. Yeah. That's a farm. What does state farm do?

I don't really know. Insurance. Yeah, I know, but we'll kind like. Oh, look, he's got Adidas. Oh, Adidas. Previous healthcare. I- Oh, it's on.

Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut we could do. Yes. We gonna fuck up a pizza Hut endorsement. And you love pizza. Yeah, we should do a commercial with Aaron. That'll be like the one of, let's do a Super Bowl commercial with them.

Okay, either edit this out or don't edit this out, but I'm gonna put it out there, okay? We should do a commercial with Aaron Rodgers. Okay. We should do a series of commercials. You do, you do the Natalem does the best, right? Make it look awesome. Aaron is the face of it.

Let's do it. Which product are we gonna endorse? Pizza Hut. Well, what's the sponsor that we could, we could kind of resurrect like they did GameStop. Oh, like bring back, bring something back. What's the thing that hasn't been around in a while that would be like, holy shit, we got Aaron Rogers,

Berk Kysher and Thompson Gerard doing a commercial for us. What did we do to deserve this? And why don't we do it for play in parenthood? Do we get woke points, right? Yeah, we'll be like, we love killing babies. And then Aaron's just spiking babies. Just bam. Oh, take us football with babies.

Yeah, there's a little we care about life. That's a good one. Playing parenthood could have a good tagline, you know, whoa. Fucking, I noticed that on one of the episodes, the fucking fucking sickler put his goddamn stupid, fucking Baltimore hat up there and took down my FSU hat. I did not notice that. Oh, you didn't with that baby head.

You see how big that head is? Yeah. And it smells the way a guy from Baltimore wear a hat all the time, like he has one fucking hat. Fucking sickler. Don't think I didn't notice that. I noticed it. Smells the way a guy from Baltimore where I had all the time like he has one fucking hat Fucking sickler don't think I didn't notice that I noticed it and I forgot to fuck with it Well, I'm glad you did we do woke shit. Here's we're gonna do woke shit. Okay, we'll do a shit Okay, so we got we can do Plant parenthood

We could do something about oh we'll do a fucking vaccine vaccination so I was vaccination. Yeah, and it'd be, hey, so I got it. We all get vaccinated, right? Like, we're like, oh, we got, and we keep our, we put our masks on, and then when we take them off, like we can't talk, and you can't add anymore. And we can, we start performing abortions. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then we just say, it's the right thing to do. portions. Mmm. Ah. And then we just say it's the right thing to do. That's the tagline. What if we do, what if we do the, okay. This, okay. Okay.

Soft pitch. Okay. What if we do a mashup of putting pop vaccination commercials where it's bill cause be giving you vaccinations? Like you don't know. Like he's roofing your vaccination. Then you're putting pops and then Kanye and Jackson you go, I don't even know what's going on with Kanye is why I'm really on him. It's not been fall. He's actually doing really well. For real? No, he's having a rough go right now.

What is he, is he doing it on purpose? I mean, I don't know. Is he really, is he really, I don't, I really don't know. I mean, I only know is what anybody else knows. You watch this thing unfold and you just form your own opinion about it. I bet we get Kanye in there. Me, you Kanye, Aaron Rogers,

doing a commercial for vaccinations. Yeah. But vaccinations, this is gonna sound, I know I shouldn't even say this so we'll get taken off YouTube, I bet. Are they still recommending them? I believe so. As far as I know, I mean, as far as I know.

I haven't heard much talk about it. Why don't we do a free one for Pfizer? Just give them a, yeah. We'll do it. And then we'll do the. And then we'll leave Pfizer. It's great. Why don't we, okay, me, you and Aaron and Rodgers and Kanye are at a bar and this guy comes up

and he's like, hey, what's up? I work for Pfizer, you guys want shots? And we're like, good. We're just tequila. We're like, ah, and then we take it and he goes, I put it in the tequila and we're like, ah, and then it just time lapse, come and come. And then we see Kanye, he's going like put it in the tequila and we're like, and then it just time lapse, come and come and see Kanye,

he's going like the banks, the media, they all work together. The Rothschilds. The Rothschilds started all this. I don't even know, I know the Rothschilds were of the guys who created banking, right? I don't know that the Rothschilds created banking.

Yep. Created banking? Yep. I think banking's a pretty old concept. Mm-hmm, before that egg goats. Yep. Created banking? Yep. I think banking is a pretty old concept. Mm-hmm. Before that egg goats. Okay. And then the Rothschilds came in and made it gold-based, gullion, bouillion. Did the Rothschilds create banking? The Rothschilds invented the banking system. Okay. The Medici bank was in 1397. Yeah, the Medici's are friends with the Rothschilds.

That's true. 15th century. The Medici's are the ones who they were big proponents of Michelangelo, right? They started banking in the late 18th century the Rothschilds did. We should start a bank. Yeah. There's a lot of things. We should start a bank. Yeah. There's a lot of things. We need to, we need to have a business meeting.

We got a lot of things going on. We do. That we haven't really, we got a lot of loose ends in our business. We can, yeah we can have one today. We need someone to come in and clean us up. Wouldn't Aaron or Roger's retires? Yeah.

Should we offer him a job? I think he probably would need one. I mean he's gonna be retired. He's gonna need a job. Yeah. Oh. I'll tell you right now, you know that guy's good on fucking air too. Should we offer him a job? I think he probably would need one means gonna be retired. He's gonna need a job. Yeah I'll tell you right now. You know that guy's good on fucking air too. Yeah Pymography has about all the time. Pat and AJ fucking awesome. That's true. Yeah, yeah, we should podcast Yeah, I hope I want to live down in Austin

Maybe if he moves off said I'll down in Austin. Maybe. If he moves off, still moving to Austin. Really? Yeah. Can't let you become best best friends with him. You gotta fucking slide in. And this will be an all go. Joe, right? Oh.

All right, look, let's wrap this up. We gotta take a break. All right, let's see if Aaron Rodgers replied. You're so crazy. He wrote, Tom Hoo. All right. Let's see if Aaron Rodgers replied. You're so, you're so crazy. He wrote Tom Who. Very crazy. Very crazy. Kidding.

He didn't reply. He wrote, I'm in practice. Can I call you later? Okay. And I wrote, I wrote back. Yeah, just tell Coach, I said hi. He was like, Coach, what's the know how you're doing? I was like, sure.

All right. He said, did you mention that you're going to be performing in Milwaukee or in Green Bay for your top soft world tour? And I said, no, I've only been focusing on my European portion, but yeah, did you mention that you're gonna be performing in Milwaukee or in Green Bay for your top soft world tour? And I said no, I've only been focusing on my European portion, but yeah, I will be this is your new tour Tampa Tampa way this is your new tour that is different than the tour you're currently doing. Yeah, when did you write the new hour? Right now you're writing it right now written it throughout doing this hour I get bored and I just write new material Yeah, and so then I've haven't in skinning this up,

I just go, all right, time to build a new hour. I'm gonna do it after I'm done my hour. Okay. Oh. Well, there you go. Ladies and gentlemen, we are two bears, one cave. Aaron, if you're watching this, we love you big guy. Yeah, it was so fun. Aaron, this Aaron, that.

All right. See you next time. and hell that they'll keep clean. Here's what we call, screwdriver's one cave. No scripts of bed of booze, amateur, photography, dirty jokes, rancher humor, no apologies. Here's what we call, screwdriver's one cave. you