2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Raygun Deserved The Gold Medal | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Episode Date: September 21, 2026

SPONSORS: New DraftKings customers, sign up with code BEARS, spend five bucks to get $150 in rewards within 14 days - includes all markets. Get your free quote at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Let’s eat real. Head to https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year, while supplies last until 10/31/2026. See website for more details. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears.  Start learning a new language TODAY with Babbel. Right now listeners can save up to 60% off at https://babbel.com/BEARS. Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are on separate sides of the country, but still together in our hearts. Tom's about to film a movie and Bert's been running his takes through ChatGPT before he says them out loud, which still doesn't stop LeeAnn and his daughters from destroying him over The Pastor's Wife. Bert explains how Last Comic Standing edited him into the villain, and how much public misrepresentation a person should take before they swing back; Michael Jackson, Shane Gillis, Johnny Depp, Joe Rogan, and Bert's "how many bees until you start swatting" theory. From there, Bert delivers the two greatest analogies of his life, Tom demands the production Bible for Tenet to understand it better, and Bert turns his garage door into a guillotine. They also get into Kyle Forgeard of Nelk Boys running seven marathons in seven days, Bert's daughters hijacking his couples therapy to tell the therapist he only feels emasculated at Lowe's, and Bert's case that Raygun should have won the gold medal and that Jackson Pollock was a shill. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 340 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-426-2537, 1-800-697-3738. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit http://ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Predictions offer void in New York. Bet to get Bonus bets that expire in 7 days. Trade to get Predictions Dollars that expire in 1 year. $50 in rewards issued every 7 days via click to claim for 14 days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Terms at http://dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:38 - ChatGPT Approved Takes & Death Of The Pastor's Wife 00:07:17 - How Many Bees Until You Start Swatting? + Purple Doritos 00:15:02 - Tom's Movie Beard & Revisiting Tenet 00:28:44 - 365 One-Minute Episodes & Bryson DeChambeau's Hole In One 00:34:08 - Mountain Dew Sizzle 00:38:01 - Football Segue 00:39:19 - Kyle Forgeard's Seven Marathons & Andrew Schulz's Miami Era 00:43:50 - Bert's Tom Impression & Couples Therapy With The Girls 00:51:03 - The Honey Deuce & Bert's Return To Drinking 00:56:16 - What Olympic Sport Could You Actually Get Good At? 01:02:50 - Raygun Deserved The Gold & Jackson Pollock Was A Shill 01:12:15 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hey Tom, I chat GPTed a bunch of my takes today, so they should be like not controversial. Oh, cool. Yeah. Chat always says what's up. No, chat really does. Because I feel like, I feel like every opinion I have is absolutely against the grain of the internet. Is it? I feel like it.

Maybe it's just in my head. Dude, I am doing so much work in therapy right now. You have no fucking idea. Are you really? You have no idea. Like, I am doing all the hard work. But let's get back to my bad takes. Okay.

Have you seen The Pastor's Wife on Netflix? I have not. Is that a doc? It's a hit job is what it is, but yeah, it's a doc. What is the, wait, what's the premise of it? Is it a crime thing? I got. fucking destroyed by my daughters and wife.

What did you get destroyed for? So it's a documentary about a pastor who's overbearing, cheats. He's not a great guy, clearly. His wife... But he's a man of the Lord. He's a man of the Lord, but is questionable because he's been cheating and, you know, it's, I don't know, he's not the greatest guy in the world. Okay.

Allegedly. I guess I'm just going off what I saw on this doc. Sure. His wife has a mental break. It's his second wife. He cheated on his first wife with this lady who was also married. They have an affair. She gets on to pills, not the pills on to meds because she has a mental break.

And then throughout the story, she kills herself at the very end. Spoiler alert. I guess you're supposed to say spoiler alert before you said the thing. Before you talk about the thing. She kills herself, spoiler alert. Okay. That would upset me if I were listening. And I was like, oh yeah, that's queued up for tonight.

Okay, really cool. I just came in you, spoiler alert. Spoiler alert, you're pregnant. Spoiler alert, you're pregnant. So people don't use spoiler alert enough, I don't think. Yeah, they usually, they say that, and then they talk about the thing. Cops, you should do that and just go, spoiler alert, you're getting arrested. Yeah.

Or you're under arrest, spoiler alert, yeah. So, so they don't interview the dude. Now, it's just an interview of the girl's family. The girl's got a tragic history. And it's an interview. This is the second wife. This is the second wife. She's like, I think she's an islander or something.

And so I don't know, Tom. I barely paid attention. Brown? Yeah, brown. Brown. Okay, she's brown. Doesn't sunburn. Good hair.

Good body. And so. The whole documentary is told from her perspective, from her family's perspective, about how this guy is responsible for her suicide. However, they just take excerpts of his sermons as in using him that for his interview. So it's really, without talking to him, it's almost like this is what made, what triggered me is like, I've seen them do it to Joe. I've seen them do it to you. I haven't, I know they're doing it to me. but like when people do like content on us

and just use clips from our podcast out of context. Yeah. And you're like, and you're like, wait, I didn't say that. That's not what that was about. Because you can shape a narrative you want. That's how like skilled documentary makers. I mean, honestly, I had experience in that a little bit in when I used to work in reality TV.

Yeah. Like in post. And I worked in the story department too. But the really talented people at that, they shape a story based on things you've said and they can create a whole thing yeah dude last comic standing too they made it look like i hated aunt because he was gay and i was and i was like dude this is national television i mean yes i didn't like his lifestyle choice yet but i never said that out loud do you remember aunt was he the little short guy he was like yeah rogan called him

out because he stole a joke boxing's gay uh you're it's a prize it's a prize five He called him out on the show. On the show. That's right. Yeah. On the show he called him out. And then I, Aunt was a, look, I've since talked to Ant, so I'm not bringing up old beef with aunt.

I don't even know if he's, I don't know what he's doing. I ran him to it at an airport one time and we're good. But he was aggressive and he knew how to play the document. He knew how to play the reality show game. So he, and he was kind of fucking with me. Like everything he did was like a jab. And I was like, wow. What is this?

And they're like, so it seems like you don't like aunt. And I was like, I don't. And then they're like, can you say that in a sentence? I was like, I don't like aunt. And they made it about him being gay. And I was like, wait, what the fuck? But I like how you're like, they made it seem like I don't like aunt. And then you were like, so I said, I don't like aunt.

Well, I didn't like him. I didn't like him. But I didn't like him because he was gay. I just didn't like him. Right. And so. Sometimes the two line up. Yeah.

Yeah. And so I watched this documentary as if it was a reality show. Yeah. They formed this guy's narrative. without interviewing him and I just said casually and there's two sides to every story my daughters lost their

fucking mind. There's not two sides to any story. This woman killed herself, Dad. This is what happened to Lindsay Clancy. Dad, you have to understand and I'm like, oh my God. But did you tell them they were just being dumb broads? Like, for getting that emotional about not having all the information? Well, Tom, we're working

on it in therapy. I'll tell you that much. Oh, nice. Because I feel like it's me against the world sometimes. Yeah. And I'm I'm backed into a corner and I start pulling out guns and shooting people. It doesn't matter who the fuck's all my team. But you really can't actually believe when it's a story and a documentary. You can't believe whatever the version fed to you from that doc. You can choose to, but that's never the whole story.

It's never. It's never. And you know, I think there should be some sort of. And they fuck with you. They fuck with like, did you watch the Jesse Smollett doc? Yes. It's so clearly what like his plan and he did all that. He did everything that he's accused of.

But you watch the doc and you catch yourself going like, oh yeah, maybe it wasn't all him. And then you like you have to snap yourself out of it. Can I tell you the one that I'm upset about that I don't know if I should believe now? What? I know this. I can't believe I'm going to say, hang on one second. Let me just ask CHAT what my take should be. Oh, boy.

Hang on. Let's just get this in there. I remember you used to be big on 9-11 was the Jews. Is that what you're talking about? Nope. Oh. Maybe you evolved from that one. Did Michael Jackson, children?

Okay, let's see. ChatGBT's T is telling me right now that is genuinely contested. So there's factual record rather than a verdict. But like, but like... But he did settle for a lot. I know, but I wonder, at a certain point, like, if they... Here's what's crazy. It's like, I'm gonna...

I can't really speak of, like, personal instances, but, like, I can speak of outside instances. Like, like, let's do Shane Gillis. It's a very simple one that is, you can manage your head around. So when the stuff comes out about the, the, the, Asian stuff, the very, very beginning of his career, right? And it comes out. And it can get as big as it is going to get, or it can go away if he settles.

Even if he goes, I'm not that guilty. Wouldn't it just be easier to settle and be like, dude, I'll play reparations to all the Asian people. Just, I don't, I want this to go away. I see what you're saying. Like, and so at a certain point, I, I remember my dad saying, we had one of our friends got accused of one of our friends got accused of sex stuff and I was like I called my dad I go I was like um why does it why doesn't he just fight it and he goes buddy it's so much easier

just to like in life and anything just to shut the fuck up it is it is easier and it is easier to settle that part's true but then there's certain things where you go there's I'm just not fucking doing this like I'm not going going with this like with Depp, right? When Amber heard acute, he was just like, no, no, I'm going to go to court, I'm going to spend the money, I'm going to do all this, spend the time. But was that the right thing to do for Johnny Depp? Because- I think so, 100%. I mean, I think so, I think so, but I was always on his team. Yeah, I think a lot of people were, but he was like, I'm not going to stand for this.

Because he, in his heart of hearts, was like, no, this is not true. You're lying. So what's the, what's the amount of bees where you start swathing? at them. That's the point, right? So like, that's a God, let's take a minute for a brilliant analogy. That's a brilliant, I just gave a brilliant, I've given two brilliant analogies this weekend. My daughter's boyfriend came to visit, Ila's, and he had never had Thai food. And he was like, what is it taste like? And, you know, Mr. B, what's this shit taste like? Like that? I never had some shit like that.

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Times may vary. Rates may vary. I don't fuck with raw shit. He didn't he never had time. Yeah. Cook? You cook that shit? I'm in Atlanta.

And so I said to, I said it was Georgia Island, Leanne, and no one knew how to explain it. And I said, have you ever had purple Doritos? He said, yeah. I go, that's Thai food. Georgia looked to me.

She goes, that was genius. Yeah. That was the best way to explain it to a kid was if you ever had purple Doritos. But the best analogy I've ever said in my life, and I've hit some bangers out of this fucking park lately. It is, I'll tell you another one. I said, another great analogy, Tom. I said the other day, reading Instagram comments is like going on WebMD, finding a disease, and then going out and actively trying to get it.

Yeah. It's so, it's so I, how many bees until you start swatting? Like, like, and that's the question. Like, Rogan, when it was like he took ivermectin or didn't believe in the vaccine, at first it was like, just a couple bees by his face. and then CNN goes out of him and he's like, god damn it, here we go, we're at it. Yeah, he could have made that even a bigger thing if he wanted to.

Yeah. He could have. Dude. Like, he could have, he could have, like, actually gone after them in a more intense way, for sure. It's crazy because I've talked to a couple people now lately who have dealt with being misrepresented in the media. And it's so fascinating.

Because there's no repercussions. There's none. There's none. There's none. And social media has made it that anyone can misrepresent you at any given time. You just have to roll with it. And that's the thing is you do until you reach something that you don't, which is back to your analogy. Yeah, until you go, all right, that's too far.

Like, I got to be honest with you, I've had friends going through stuff, and I've wanted to respond to what they're going through online because it upsets me. and I end up, because I don't really look at anything about myself, but things about my friends will come up, and then I'm like, that's not accurate. That's not fucking accurate. And I will argue with someone who says something about a friend of mine because it upsets me. Oh, thanks, man.

I appreciate that. You're welcome, Tom. You're welcome. I have lost fucking sleep about things people have said about you. Thanks, buddy. I love you. Why are you going to say anything about my movie beard? I love it.

I love that you really leaned into like the Eddie Murphy style of acting. Like you really are a clump. Like you like, yeah, you're like, I'm not just Tom. I'm a Tommy. I love, I love, uh, what is the movie you're doing? It's Santino and you were redoing Broke Black Mountain or something? Something like that. Yeah, it's like we're in Atlanta and we, um, we can't pay rent and we're in this black housing complex.

And then they just pass us around. It's crazy, though. Like, we negotiate to stay there. Can I pitch you an idea that I think is a brilliant idea that we should do? Yeah. It's called Get Back in the Closet. And we go into a celebrity's closet and you don't know who that celebrity is. And we go through their shit in like 10 minutes and you have to figure out who that celebrity is.

And at the end of the video, did you get hit up to do that fridge show? What fridge show? What's her name was like? A Celebrity. was like, can I look in your fridge? That was her show. No. Who is it?

What was the girl's name? I'm trying to think of. Tori Spelling. No. Can I tell you a great Tori spelling story? Great. We're going to edit all this out, aren't we? Oh, yeah.

Never mind. Okay. By the way, speaking of movies, last night for the sixth time, I watched Tenet, the Christopher Nolan movie. And every time I feel like I maybe grasp another. percent of this completely non-linear storytelling and I'm kind of like is this the one where you assume your audience is too smart because I feel like a fucking moron watching this movie and it's so cool so like the cool factor is like mission impossible born level but

following what's going on I'm like what there's so much new information in every scene and I'm like I don't understand what I'm watching. I have. Am I the only one? I can't be, right? I have the greatest thing. I'm going to see if I can find it. If I can't find it, I'll re-get it for you.

So when Tenet came out, it was during the pandemic, right? It may have been. I think so, because Isla and I, I would say to me, do you want to watch it again? We watched it maybe 12 times. Now, our buddy produced that movie. Our good, good friend produced that movie. Really? Yeah.

And so after like the sixth time, Ila and I called him and were like, We really don't understand this movie. And he sent us, for lack of better words, their Bible. Please, dude. And it was a way for the people working on the movie to understand what the movie was about. So they knew what the movie they were working on. I had the thought today, I think because I watched it right as I'm about to shoot a movie, I had the thought that I was like, when these actors got this script,

were they like, what the fuck is this movie? What am I doing? Like, how does this make sense? The craziest was watching our buddy have to clear locations. I mean, this is, I think, what holds me up. Will you please track this down for me in this Bible? I will. It is fascinating.

And by the way, Ila and I still watched it six more times and never understood the movie with the Bible in our hand. I have to have it, please. Can I tell you what I love about? What's his name? Not Patterson. Nolan? Is he?

He uses all the same people, kind of. Yeah, he does, he does. And you know what I caught last night, obviously, because I hadn't watched it in a while? Towards the end, when John David Washington is talking to the Indian woman, she brings up Oppenheimer. And she's like, and she references him several times.

Yeah. And then you're like, oh, shit, this was like he, this must have been like laying the seeds, at least even if he didn't. even know, obviously he had an interest in this. Like he was, she talks about it in depth a little bit. Christopher Nolan, I mean,

once again, I don't know what I can say and not say, because I know too much about, like, because our buddy does all his movies. So he's, you know, casually said things. But like, Christopher Nolan, I'll leave it at that. But he is a really fascinating guy. I think I had

dinner next to him one night. Nolan? Yeah, but he's very like unremarkable. You know, he's just like a tall white dude. Yeah, and he doesn't really talk He's kind of, you know I wouldn't say spectrum-y, but like pretty regular You know? Yeah

Like he's like, I think he's a quiet guy He's not like, I'm Christopher Nolan Do you have any questions about any of my movies? I saw him walking on Franklin Just on for a walk, yeah Really? Yeah. Yeah, he's a

It seems like he's the only one out there doing it Like making movies for a large budget And making his money back Well, he's like also, he's somebody with like a perspective and wants to tell a certain story. Like I was just watching for a few minutes this Galgado movie that came out. And I was like, I was taken by how bland and boring the shot selection was. Because you look at it, it looks like it's a made for TV like show. And you're like, oh yeah.

And then I looked up the budget. and it was $264 million. And you're like, how do you make it look like an episode of Law and Order, though? Like, it's so fucking bland and bright and fucking flat. It looked like shit. I'm fascinated. I'm fascinated by, yeah, by the way, yeah. You just ask that that.

As you go into production. As you go into production on a movie. Yeah, I should probably dial that back. Hey, let's tone that down a little bit. Hey, you know, it's just like I just was wanting more. Well, it's so funny. but right after I made the machine, I came home and you had seen Gucci. Oh.

And you were like, fuck this piece of shit. Fuck them. They suck. And I was like, I remember going like, it's really hard making a movie. I know. I have a hard time right now. I just watched a series that I won't say the name of. But like, it was I couldn't get past the woman's acting.

It was so over the top and so disconnected. It was a series. Say it and we'll bleep it. What is that? It's, by the way, now that I've said, bleep, bleep, bleep, everyone's going to go, oh, I want another one. Well, we'll bleep the shit out of it. It's, but the woman plays like a mom.

And it's clear she doesn't have a kid because her acting around her kid is so over the top of like a first-time mom. It's almost like of a divorced mom or like a second wife, like a step-mom That I'm like, it doesn't know. how to talk. Doesn't know how to talk.

Everything is, and it was rubbing me so wrong. And the one thing, like, that I was, like, really married to when we made our show is that my reactions with the kids were the same. Like, that, the way I've always treated kids. Because I didn't want to, like, like, overdo it. But, like, yeah, I get, it's almost like when I started doing reality television, not reality, but, you know, hosted reality. And then I started watching Bar Rescue.

And then I knew the insides of television. And I was like, hold on. How are we hearing audio? on any of these people. They have to have mics on. And then I couldn't enjoy any of those shows. Because I was like, no one's got, there's no way to hear this person unless a sound guy said,

here's a mic. My name's Bill. I'm going to reach up your shirt. Put this on. Now we can hear you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. You're right.

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That's Babel, B-A-B-B-B-B-E-L-com slash bears. For up to 60% off, rules and restrictions may apply. How prepared are you for this movie? I feel prepared. I mean, I feel like I've put a lot into the preparation. So do you, because I've never really prepared for anything, do you read sides the night before and get ready the night before for your scene? Or do you kind of just figure it out when you get there?

Well, I try to memorize everything before production starts. So like have the script memorized. Yeah, kind of. And then, yeah, but like pretty good. And then the night before I read everything again, obviously I go over everything for the next day. Yeah. Really? That's an interesting way to do it.

How do you do it? I just figured out when I get there. You just day of, like in the morning? There are a lot of people to do that. Yeah, I'm a really, I'm very quick at remembering. things. So I just get there the morning of and then I'll take a look at it a couple times like why I go through hair and makeup and then whoever I'm acting with will come over and we'll kind of run it a few times. But all on book. And then once I get in the scene, I can, and I know where

I'm standing and I can figure out my motivation. I can then do it. For me, to sit and memorize something is useless work because it all changes the second you get there. It changes a lot. And you're like, oh, you're going to be like for you. And it's like, oh, you're coming out of this room with a lot of energy. Then all of a sudden you've been like, oh, I got to say it totally different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's interesting, man. I can't wait to see this movie.

I can't wait to see your fucking movie where you play the choppo. I know. Me too. What are we doing with your goddamn movies, Tom? I mean, I don't know. You probably have a better answer than me. I mean, I think we'll have a home for that one relatively soon. Really?

I think so. I think so. I'm ready to see that. I want you to see it. I really want you to see it. I could just do a movie about the dad in the black fraternity. Dude, we talked about that with them. Can I tell you what?

Can I stop, stop, stop. Don't tell what you're doing, but can I tell you what I'd like? Yeah. I would like you to shoot. Here's my pitch. 365 one-minute episodes of you with the black fraternity as the dad. So that every day I get a story told to me throughout one year so every morning I can go on and click it and go, ooh, I can't want to see

what happens today. Today with the white dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I was talking to Bryson Des Chambo the other day and I was saying, you remember he did the whole and one challenge over his house. And he said, what was your favorite part of that? We were just casually talking about. I said, I loved it. He said, what did you like about it? And I said, I liked that I found it on day eight. So I got to go back and watch day one through eight. And then I got to follow it every morning and be like, oh, I wonder if Bryson gets it today, and I click it. What was the challenge? Oh, dude, it was.

Can you pull it up? Is that possible to pull it up? It's so good. It's worth talking about. And I want to just, I want to make it global so that you understand why it was good. So Bryson is, Bryson's one of the reasons you watch professional golf. And there's a lot of reasons, Scottie Shepleard, like there's a lot of reasons, Brooks Kepka, a lot of great reasons to watch professional golf.

But Bryson is a big hitter. He put on 40 pounds of muscle, increased his swing speed, also that he could just have crazy drives, right? And then that's the reason, guys like me, tune into the PGA. Now, Bryson also came, and the media kind of did a hit job on him, when he went over to live. So the media kind of attacked him and made him out to be like this scientist that no one could understand and this, you know,

and it really wasn't him. And in this moment, Bryson kind of took back his narrative. and I apologize if I'm speaking on behalf of Bryson. He can negate all of this. This is my perspective. He took back his narrative, much like the fucking pastor did or Joe Rogan or any of these people where the media decides to take over your narrative.

He took back his own narrative and he made it, he showed you a side of himself who he naturally is as a fun, lighthearted, goofy guy. And he decided, him and this guy Hogan decided to do a hole in one. He had a hole in his backyard, so he'd hit from his front yard over his house to see if he'd get hit an all in one. And he did it every single day. And it was light work. It was very easy shoot. And it was fun.

Do you have one of the ones or the hole in one? Just show any of them. But it's really great content because he does it every day, right? So you have something to post every day, much like a crowdwork clip or whatever. That seems like it's somebody else, though, right? Yeah, yeah, that's definitely not Bryson. So Bryce has got the beautiful house. you guys are going

so you're looking up the Bryson D. Shembo challenge which a lot of people replicated Bryson if you go to his page you'll find his he did it himself I guess maybe you don't need to see it but it was really

brilliant and I loved that because he took back charge of his narrative and now he's got his own YouTube channel is massive his YouTube can you scroll up to the top of that It's the gorgeous house. It's the gorgeous house.

That's probably him, right? Yeah, that's him. Hole in one over my house. Since it's day 16, I get 16 shots. He's got such a pretty swing. Damn. Rock! Oh, go, go, go.

Oh, bro, you almost dunked that. So he gets a shot for every day that it is. Yeah. So it's, it really... Boom! Oh, rock. Oh, that might do it. Hook in there. Damn.

I know, right? Yeah. Just going. That's it. Just do it. I would break every window in his house. I broke a window. I broke a window. You did? Yeah, I tried this.

Be good. I can do it. Be good. I don't have that kind of front yard. Huh? It's it! Let's go! Go!

But that's why you watch it. That's why you watch it. That energy, that energy we've been waiting 16 days for. You wait 16 days for it. That's why I love you doing something to a challenge of, you know, like 365 days for me. And you shoot a bunch, do a month of shooting. But then release it every day and let the story get wilder and wilder and wilder and wilder. That's fucking rad.

Yeah. I think that's the, I mean, look, I don't know. I've been trying to just stay offline as much as possible. because I feel like I find, I just found this out in therapy, I'm finding worth in other people's approval as opposed to inertly finding it in my own life. Like finding like being present and finding worth in my own life. So like I post and I look at likes and then that judges how I feel about myself for the day.

Which is crazy, Ron. It's so bad. It's so bad. And so that's why I'm staying offline. I've been offline for a while. But then it's a necessary evil because you have a vodka to promote, a tour to promote. You're doing anything.

thing with this company and so it's it it really is speaking of things with the company yeah can we talk about mountain dew the do i'm so proud of this we took so many of your suggestions so many we had to we had to run it up the do pole and um bring them your guys ideas and then we took one and I don't want to say too much. We shot it. We haven't seen it yet. I am so excited for this. We know what we shot.

We know what we shot, but we haven't seen the full edit. And by the way, this is with our partners in business, Mountain Dew. This is with their applied notes. So we took some chances. We don't know if they've been accepted. Yep. But this is your idea. Your fans, you guys picked this.

We shot it. We put our little thumbprint on it. And Mountain Dew put their thumbprint on it. We hope you like it. Let's see it. Hey guys, it's Bert. And Tom. And we're making the most out of our last days of summer.

Well, we're trying. It's a pretty hot out. Well, that was pretty fun. Was it? It's so hot. Oh, come on, Tom. Let me cheer you up. Oh.

What are you boys drinking out here? Just a dew. It's a do. What? Hell we get. Mountain Dew, an American Original, tasting great since 48. Love it.

It's great. My only note is it's about six minutes too short. Yes. Yeah. It really flew by. It was like, geez, man. Can you guys make this longer? Well, we should say to get out there and enjoy the outdoors

with Mountain Dew in American Original, tasting great since 40. And thank you Mountain Dew. And we had so much fun making that sizzle. And thank you to the fans because that is your idea. You said, just Tom and Bird are sitting in the back of a truck, drinking Mountain Dews, cop coming up and goes, what are you guys drinking? And you're like, drinking Mountain Dews.

Yeah. And we took it a, I do want to give props to our editors, though, for throwing it, like, cutting it like a cheesy 80s, 90s commercial. It was really good. Dude, I think that was bespoke. Well, you know, it was intentionally what it was. It was so good. I think that added to it so much. I was so pumped.

And by the way, shout out to Kelly who played the cop. She did such a great job. She was so cool. It was hot as shit. She was in the most clothes out of anyone for the day. And she was awesome. She was a great attitude. Fucking brought it.

Congratulations. Thank you for doing it. And here's a little transition for you. the bangles beat the bucks which means per our bet you are going to do a solo jerking video on twitter you're going to post something on x of you stroking your hog all right i can't wait you're ready to post that yeah yeah just do you know how viral that would go if you did that today dude i think about that a lot if you went who day And you just

Who day? Who day? Oh, who day. Can I tell you I was kind of let down in Cincinnati for the amount of people

that showed up at the stadium for opening day? What do you mean? It was kind of empty. Oh, was it? Yeah, and I have to tell you, and I'm being serious,

the Bucks really won that game. I mean, the Bucks played a better game than the Bengals. In my opinion, Baker was better than Joe Burroughs easily. Two accidental fumbles.

Yeah. That's kind of how the game goes, isn't it? Yeah, but it's like crazy that like the Bucks outplayed the Bengals, in my opinion. No, that happens. That happens. I mean, that football is like you can play the better game, turn the ball over, and lose. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. The, can I talk to you about Kyle? Yes.

From Nelk Boys. Oh, I thought you meant your Kyle. Oh, my Kyle's lost cause. He the other day, he said if a girl, he said casually, he goes, if a girl, what did he say? If a girl wanted me to fist her on the first date, I'd do it. What? And I was like, Kyle, that's a wild thing to say. And he was like, well, if she brought it up, I think I asked him, I don't know, I forgot out what it went down.

I'll send you the video. But Kyle from Nelk Boys is doing one of the coolest things I've ever seen. And I'm jealous. I'm jealous that I didn't see it or know about it or think of it first because it is incredible. He is running seven marathons in seven continents in seven days. In seven continents in seven days? In seven continents in seven days. How's that even?

Starts in Antarctica, then goes, can you pull up Kyle from Nelk Boys? Starts in Antarctica, then goes to Africa. Then he's on to, I think Brazil, where he runs one. I mean, he goes, it's really. It's seven days? I think seven days. I literally he's running So he lands and runs

They charter a jet for you A big plane everyone does it It's pretty expensive Yeah And everyone gets on the plane And everyone Goes to the places And like you run in Antarctica

And there's a time limit on the marathon It's like seven hours If you're not done The plane leaves without you And you gotta get on the plane and go You don't do the problem Yeah That detail

And so It's really crazy and they're getting their recovery on planes. That's incredible. Are they all doing it or just him? It's just him. He, you know, like I said, I don't know the Nelk boys personally. I've never really talked to them.

But he's a runner. No, Kyle got in like incredible shape. And by the way, I'm saying this casually. I'm just saying from what I've seen online, he's got an incredible shape over the last year. I think everyone's trying to get in better shape. It feels like everyone's getting in better shape. I mean, for Christ's sake, the fucking, I was with Red Clay's Trays the other day.

Everyone's in better shape in that band. Like everyone. And so, like, I feel, and so Kyle, pull up Kyle. He's like Jack now and he's shredded and he's running seven marathons in seven days. Look at it. Look at the body transformation. Click that. Damn.

Look at that. Dude. Looks great. I mean, he lives that life. I think he, I don't know much about the Nelk, boys, other than what I've seen online, you know, for the happy dad and stuff. But, like, they live in Miami, I think. They're friends with all those guys that are, like, kind of locked in, but also party balls.

I can't believe you didn't have, like, a Miami era to your life. Dude. It's the one thing, like, when Schultz during the pandemic moved down to Miami with all his buddies. Did they? Oh, yeah. I was so jealous. I was so jealous. I'd never wanted to scorn my family more

and just leave them. And they all lived like on a fucking, on like an inlet and just took a boat out every day, although they rented, they didn't buy a boat. It's like what the fuck kind of New Yorkers are these? They wore shoes on the beach like fucking New Yorkers. They had socks in their shoes. I mean, whenever you see a New Yorker on the beach,

it is comical. They think they're cool because they have a Yankees jersey with the sleeves cut off. And they're like, yeah, this is how you relax, man. And then, by the way, Schultz has a crazy movie coming out. Have you seen his movie? It's the Street Fighter one, right? Dude, that is going to be fucking huge.

Huge. It is going to be fucking huge. Cody Rhodes, I think, now look, there's a lot of stars in that. Cody Rhodes is going to take away. I think he's, I think it's going to change his life. His performance in that, from what I've seen is through the roof. I think it's going to be fucking huge for him. Future governor, man.

For sure. He texted me the other day because I guess I talked shit about him on. I didn't talk shit. Whatever, I'm so tired of defending the fact that I'm trying to make a joke. This is why I don't do good at roast. Every time I make a joke lighthearted, everyone thinks I'm being serious. Yeah, that's not good. I think it's because you don't laugh enough.

Me? Yeah, it's your fault. It's not my fault. 100%. This is, you ready? This is my impression to you. Say something wild, and then I'm going to do an impression of you, okay? Go.

She said she wanted me to fist her on her first date. Now, ready, this is how I want you to react. Okay, do it again. And so I fisted her on the first date. That's what I'm talking about, Bert. You got a fist, bitches. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. There we go. That could change things. Can we bring my couples therapist onto two bears to do a couple's therapy with me and you? 100% okay I think she'd do it yeah you think she would oh she fucking loves me she loves you oh yeah oh yeah tom I mean there's times when I'm I'm look I'm gonna tell you this I don't know like I'm gonna I don't care I'm sweating right now so yeah both the girls are home and and the girls say casually can we go to your couples therapy and what yeah I know

So we're like, yeah, of course, we don't tell our therapist. We just bring them. So my therapist is a little like blindside, like, who the fuck are these two bitches? Island, Georgia sit down. First of all, they fucking roast me. I mean, they're like, like at one point I said something about Leanne amasculating me, and Eila just goes, that's not real. That's not real.

He makes up a lot of stuff. You got to know what stuff's real and what's not real with him. And then we get out. And I'd never seen this. And then George, we all get a dinner. Georgia Island, Leanne. It was a fun time. It was really fun going to therapy with everyone. It was fun. And by the way, I got to say this, only because I know that, like, Leanne and I go to couples therapy because we want to just make sure everything's good.

We're not in, I know a lot of people think because we're in couples therapy, we're in decline. We're not. We're just empty nesters and we're making sure we connect. So, um, we go to dinner, the whole, the two girls in Leanne and Georgia just goes, wow. your therapist is team bert all the way huh and leanne goes i know and eila goes it is so clear she is a big fan of dads and i was like what and then the next therapy i just went in and i started flexing it i was like oh yeah i could fucking smoke leann in here did you oh yeah destroyed her because we and what if oh i i lit her up what does the therapist do when you light her up i'm going to give you an example of like one thing

Okay. By the way, I really hope my therapist does not see this. Yeah, it's impossible to find. I don't think she's Googling me. I think that's against that. No. To Google your client and then go. And then she comes in and she's like, so, uh, Doug Stanhope.

Like, what? Chris DeStefano, when you hang out with him, you cried one time doing a podcast with Chris Stefano. So that would be crazy if she did watch my podcast. and then just assessed all the things that I talked about. And then as I sat down, she goes, let me tell you where we're going to start. Yeah, yeah.

There was a thing about emasculating. I'm going way too deep in our therapy. But, like, it was very simple. Leanne grew up around tools and cars. So if it's ever a thing about tools or cars, Leanne just takes charge. But I also have opinions. But because I didn't grow up around tools or cars,

my opinions are discarded. So then I said casually that emasculates me. And Ila just goes. And by the way, Ila fucking Georgia brought it up in therapy. Dad feels emasculated sometimes. I'm like, that was a fucking secret, Georgia. And she was like, no, no, no. He said it to me at Lowe's.

When we were buying a drill, he said, mom emasculates him. And Ila goes, that's not real. By the way, these two are running our therapy right now. Yeah, of course. And then my therapist just goes, just so we're all clear. Your dad's very masculine.

And all three of the women just looked at each other like, hmm, we know whose team she's on. And I went, thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Appreciate that. Yeah. So, but it was fun.

It was fun being in therapy. But let's do a couple's therapy with me, you, and my couple's therapist. I love it. I love the idea. I think it would be great. I have so much to tell her. Oh, never mind. This is a horrible idea.

Fucking you go in and McCarthy era of me. I'll just be like, listen, whatever he's been telling you, I have the truth. It's not like that. He's not being emasculated one bit. He makes so much stuff up. I don't know if I could be married to a woman that was like a female. I'm sorry? Like, Leanne's not a female.

She's a man. She's like a bro. She's like... That's got to feel good for her to hear. No, but she's like, like right now, like I, I, we are, I fucked up our garage door somehow. I don't know how I did it. And so what I've been doing is I've been pulling a lever and then pushing it up.

What I didn't know is that coils a thing. So the other day I went to do it and it guillotined and smashed all the fucking windows in it. Whoa. And I just called Leanne. I was like, we need to get that fixed. And so Leanne called the guy, met the guy. And right now they're fixing our garage door. I don't, I can't do that.

I'm out, I'm out. Like I don't, I don't, yeah. So I like being married to someone who I like being emasculated. In that regard. In that regard. And when it comes to like, like our big thing is that Google this, if this is real, you know what a reticulating saw is? A reticulating saw? Yeah.

I don't think so, no. Thank God. Do you know what a saw's awe is? Yeah. Oh, fuck, never mind. Why? That's our big fight. Never mind.

about nothing nothing drop it I can't stop okay I think I lost did you bring up any more to Ila about Jiu Jitsu with Ellis yes yeah yeah yeah yeah she goes I'm not getting into this

you guys are gonna post it online and then I'm gonna have a little fucking 12 year olds coming up to me trying to fuck me up in in the streets she's not wrong you're gonna have to you're gonna have to dial this back for her for her safety she's gonna have fifth grader just jumping on her neck.

She goes, Dad, I'm not posting in a video of me challenging 10-year-olds. I'm going to get fucked up in the streets. She's not wrong. What did L.O. say? Dude, he was just, it was exactly, he was just like eyes open. He was like, how old?

What rank is she? What does she weigh? I'm telling you, Dana White, that's the fight. A 10-year-old versus a 20-year-old woman. It's fucking a great idea. It's so great. Nelk boys, get on it. Such a good idea. It's such a good idea.

Did you see the drink they're serving at the U.S. Open? No. Can you pull it up? We need to do a version of this for porosos. Can you pull it up? It's called the melon, the melon ace, melon ball, melon face, melon flas. Melan flas. Melan juice.

It looks so good, Tom. Oh my God, my drinking's back to normal. You're drinking normal again? Not like I did. So I got to say that when I decided to quit drinking, I decided I didn't want to go back to the way I was where I would like never be able to catch a buzz and just drink, drink, drink, drink, and then be like, oh my God, now I'm blacked out. Okay. So the other day, I was with, I was on the golf course and I had two beers.

Then I went home, passed out. Didn't, didn't drive home, obviously, but like had two cold beers and then was like, I'm done. And then I went home. And like, I'm drinking like a regular person all of a sudden. Mm-hmm. And I love it. I love it. I'm going to drink tonight.

I'm going to an Emmy's party for you. I'm representing bad thoughts. We lost. Oh, okay. But the Emmys already happened? Yeah, because we're in a special category. For us, it was the week before. Oh.

Yeah. Oh, I was going to go in and just tell everyone else Tom's a girl. That'd be awesome if you showed up and you're like, bad thoughts going to win. No, I'm going. I'm still going. I told everyone I had my people reach out and I was like, I'm going on behalf of Tom. Oh. And they're like, because I can go because I work at Netflix.

I have a show at Netflix. And then I was like, but I'm going half a Tom. So set up the red carpet so I can talk about bad thoughts. And don't tell them that I'm Burke Kreiser, just see if they think I'm Tom. That would be, that's so funny. I know. And then. It'd be also funny if you bring it up.

And then they're like, someone's like, that already happened. And you're like, wait, what happened? Did I win? Like, did we win? Did you pull up the melonase, the melon deuce? Yes. I saw it. How good does this look?

What's in this? Honeyduce. It is. I can't read. It's too small. Hold on. One wedge of honeydew or melon, at least two inches wide. Three ounces of store bought home or homemade lemonade.

One and a half ounces of vodka, preferably poor osos, half ounce raspberry liquor. Wow. That does sound good. It sounds really good. Dude, the number of units. So I got it. I think this is cool. I saw a video about this.

What's interesting is the people at the U.S. Open had gone to the Kentucky Derby. And they noticed that everyone had a mint julep in their hand. And they were like, wow, that's pretty crazy. Everyone's got a mint julep. They move a lot of mint juleps. The numbers are interesting in this. And so they said, we should have our signature drink. You know, like a lot of these venues, like at Wimbledon, I think it's Prims.

I think that's what it is at Wimbledon. But they have like a signature drink that everyone gets at the thing. You know, it's kind of like at the Masters, everyone gets their pimento cheese sandwich. And so they said, let's come up with a signature drink. So they hit up this storied chef and they say, can you do a thing? So one day he's making a fruit salad. And he's scooping out honeydew with his melon scooper. And he goes, that's crazy.

They kind of look like tennis balls. And he goes, boom, I'm going to make the honeydew. And so he creates this drink in he uses gray goose. I don't know why they use that garbage liquor, but he uses that. And they moved Tom. If you can find this stat, it's astounding. They move something like 700 million drink. That can't be real.

That's not real. Seven. What? Will you play the link? It's really fascinating. to see how much they moved in this one cocktail, in this one cocktail at the U.S. Open. They sold 738,000 of them.

Yeah, that's the number I meant to say. Roughly 17 million in sales. Dude, isn't that crazy? Yeah. But I just love that someone went to the, it's all from them going to the, that's the beauty in experiencing life in going out and going to the Kentucky,

Derby and seeing that everyone has a mint tulip. And then I love the brain that then goes, wait, we should have one of those for the U.S. Open. And then they had it, and it went through the roof. I can't wait to talk to. I saw all the people that were there. Tim Dillon was there. Tim Dillon was there. It was like a who's who of like the Hamptons, you know?

Chelsea Handler, a bunch of people. I can't wait to find out how that drink was. I might make one tonight and see if I enjoy it. Yeah, that's fucking awesome. With porosos. Yeah. I'll make that. Yeah. Let's make them in. We'll make them with porosos and we'll post it online. Fuck yeah.

Okay. Here's the question. I have accessibility to come down to Atlanta. We're trying to make it happen. But if I come down to do an episode of Two Bears There, can you get me like a walk-on roll on your movie? Probably, yeah. Okay. Okay. When are you thinking of coming? Like a guy jacking off in the corner or something. Yeah, yeah. When do you think you're coming? I don't know. We're trying to figure it out with Solo.

Okay. Zolo, who has no idea what a fucking map looks like. Fucking guy. Zolo the other day, he goes, he goes, you're going to be in Reno. Tom's going to be in Vegas. Can you just swing down to see Tom for, to do a podcast? And I was like, sure. How, like, it's a big flight.

It's like an hour and a half flight. And he was like, oh, you have to drive? You have to fly? I was like, Reno's in a different, they're, yeah, they're both Nevada, but they're totally different parts of Nevada. And he was like, oh, I thought they were next door to each other. Thanks, Solo.

There you go. It's a 7.442 miles. 7-hour drive. It's like the first time, the first time I booked a flight to Los Angeles, I got, the takeoff was 8 o'clock, and we landed at 9 o'clock. And I was like, wow, it's only an hour to Los Angeles. I was like, this is going to be fucking. I was like, why don't I go there more often? This is an hour flight.

I was like, this is great. So I got on the plane thinking it would be an hour. And so we take off. And I'm like, why haven't we landed? And I was like, this is insane. And I said to the flight attendant, how much more? She goes, oh, about four hours. And I went four hours.

I said, I think I might have gotten on the wrong plane. I said, I'm going to Los Angeles. She said, yeah. And I said, it's an hour flight. She goes, no. She goes, not unless you're on a fucking supersonic plane. She said, are you thinking about the Concord? And I was like, God, I was like, I should have booked the Concord.

It was the same price because I thought it was an hour flight. And then I realized there's a time difference. Yeah, there's a pretty big one heading that way. Yeah. You can do that math, man. Yeah, so. Yeah, I'll get you a jacking off part. Yeah.

So you're not staying with the rest of the cast? You're staying in a mansion? No, everybody's staying in different places. Oh, for real? Yeah. Andrew Santino looks like he's living this goddamn best life. He fucking loves golf. He loves golf.

He just texted me fucking, he texted me from a golf course yesterday. Yeah, he's playing so much golf. He's the happiest man. And he really is an amazing golfer. He's so good. He's... I went out and played with him. He's so good.

Wait, how's your game compared to his? Absolute horse shit. Really? Yeah, but he's so good. He can also like... coach you. Yeah. Yeah.

We played a scramble for Netflix is a joke during the Netflix The Joke for Will Ferrell's TV show, The Hawk. We played a scramble and we won. Did you? Yeah.

Or we came in maybe second place. But it was all his score. It was all his score. Yeah. He's fantastic. We played with David Spade. David's played quit at eight holes. Is he that bad?

No, he's got a bad back. Oh. Yeah. No, apparently, I mean, I was talking to somebody who's known him a while and they were like, oh, 15 years ago, he was just like so-so, but like he's really good. Santino? Yeah. Are you shitting me?

Yeah, they said like he was just like mediocre. He's got a really good game now. What sport do you think is the hardest to achieve greatness in? Meaning, let's say, okay, how about this? Let me remember. What sport is the hardest to be massively proficient in? Meaning like other people go, dude, he balls out at dot, dot, dot, dot. Okay, I will let you know that if you're looking to become a professional in any sports, I looked into this, bowling is the easiest.

Is it really? If you're looking to become a professional, bowling is the easiest. Apparently, there's zero threshold to becoming as a professional bowler. You just need to just sponsor yourself. Well, just sheer numbers alone, because that's interesting. If you wanted to be, yeah, if you wanted to be in the NBA, that'd be real. crazy. Okay, but let's just say proficient, meaning

you go out in the court, like, you know, people go, like Adam Sandler can ball? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's had years and years and years of playing basketball. Now I'm certain at a certain age, it'll start declining and going the opposite direction. But, like, to the point where, like, you get on the court, or you throw

a football, or you hit a baseball, or you golf, or you tennis, or you jog, what sport do you think it would be the easiest for you to be the most proficient at where everyone's like no he's actually really good the way we talk about santina with golf like other pros would say santina's a great golfer yeah cornhole yeah i feel like you could get somewhere not too it wouldn't be too crazy if you dialed it in got high cornhole or darts what do you think you'd be get better and quicker for me i think it'd be

easier to do cornhole yeah yeah i think cornhole would be do you think if you focused and you dedicated a whole the same way Gina Davis did, you could become an Olympic archer. Do you remember Gina Davis did that? She did do that. Pull up the Olympics. Pull up the Olympics, Olympic, Olympics. What do you think we could focus my energy to get me in the Olympics for? Summer Olympics sports.

Okay, we can do it this way. Aquatics, no. No. Track and field, no. No, no, no. Yeah. None of the ball sports, no. No.

Combat sports. No. No. Racket and precision. There we go. No. No. Badminton, no.

No. Archery? Maybe. Archery? Archery is the, okay, keep going. Shooting? Because you get to use a shooting? Shooting is something that I, I mean, here's the thing is I'm disqualifying all these people that have spent their life shooting that are fucking amazing.

Like, we have to check off things that are absolutely no. Keep in shooting and archery. Okay, here's some new ones. By the way, by the way, hold on one second. Hold on. Cam Haynes said I was the best first day archer he's ever seen in his entire life. So maybe that is for you. I'm paraphrasing, but yes. I mean, you're definitely not going to do skateboarding.

Nope. Not cricket. Break dancing. Break dancing. Did you watch the Raygun doc? It's genius. It's genius, Tom, because the... Here's my take.

Okay, I'm dying to hear your take. Basically, she's so... She's in many ways the victim of living in Australia and having enthusiasm about this type of dance. Showing up, if she had showed up to the qualifiers in the Bronx, she wouldn't be in the top 1,000. And because you have to pick people from different countries, she showed up where there's a small. smaller pool of people to pick from. And then they're like, yeah, it's the equivalent. I think it's the equivalent of you're the strongest guy in your gym, right?

You go to like a small gym. And they're like, hey, you're the, you can, holy shit, you can deadlift 400. And you're like, yeah. And you go, you go to the lifting thing in Papua New Guinea. And they're like, well, guess what? You're the strongest guy here. You're going to the Olympics. And then you go there and they're doing a thousand pounds and they're like, what the fuck are you doing here?

And you're like, I mean, they picked me. I don't know, dude. Like, they just picked me and I like this. But they're like, you're not supposed to be. She was never good enough to be high level. But by this mix of circumstances led her to being there. Like, she just shouldn't be there, you know? Can I say this, though?

So if now all art is Subjective correct? Yeah And if art is subjective Everyone's got a big dick in a certain room That's what you're saying right? No no no yeah well no no If all art is subjective

And I would defend a lot of my Critiques of Of movies or art or comedy this way If all art is subjective And the point of doing an art Is to have people talk about it and reference it. You're looking at the gold and silver and bronze medalist who in that competition,

no one knows their name. They all did roughly the same derivations of the same moves within different sequences. She did something completely out of the box, which stood out as an art form, stood out and became the most talked about version of that art that art that were all. talking about. So I would argue subjectively she was better than everyone because she stood out. She was the most memorable. Now, yes, stand up. If we do fucking, if 10 of us go on stage and do stand up and I take a shit on the stage, that's one I'm going to remember. But when you talk about dancing, dancing is interpretive and it is, it is subjective. And she stood out.

She stood out. So why wouldn't she get the gold medal? Because she's the one we talked about. She did a kangaroo. She put her own thumbprint, Tom, like a child making a painting. She said, and I, because she goes, I can't compete with them. I'm not physical. I can't do any of their moves. I'm going to do a kangaroo and then roll it on the floor. It's so fucking brilliant. It's funny. It's like, it is all through the eyes of whoever's comment. Like, her husband was like, it's the most fucking brilliant thing I've ever seen. Like, he describes it like it's a masterpiece. Dude, and I gotta tell you, we talked about, just to be like very vague, I commented on a movie I really liked, and I liked it because it broke all the rules, because it wasn't formulaic, AI-derived screenplay. And I...

Right. And I... It is the... Her dance is the bus boys of the break dancing at the Olympics, for sure. It's out of... They're like, what the fuck is going? What is this? Her dance is the busboys.

It is. And I'm defending her dance the way I defend the busboys. Is that it's so, look, man, it's so different that it becomes great in that it doesn't follow any of the fucking rules, any of the rules. It's so insane. It just looks like somebody who they just saw someone online and they're like, I like this kind of shit. I can do this. It's so good. It's so good.

The person watching his. dancing better than she is. But it's so good because it's like, it's like watching your child in the living room. But she is, she has like, she has no swag, like no real swag. Yeah.

Like, they mocked her for her outfit because, like, it looks, it looks so. She did a sprinkler, Tom. She did. She was like, this is Australia. She was right. It is Australian. Now look at this.

You want to see what hack is? Look at this. Yeah. Yep. Someone taught me this. I know this move. This is hacky. Yeah, this is what I've seen other people do.

I didn't create this. I didn't create this. I didn't create this. I watched someone do this and I'm replicating it. These are all moves I'm replicating. From based off of other people coming up with this move. And the day you come up with a move, I bet you look silly to everyone. But then you become standard and you become base headspin.

Come on, man. We watch Michael Jackson do that. with Alfonso Ribeira in 1982. What are we doing? Yeah. And then go back to fuck. I guarantee you in 10 years, they're dancing like Raygun. It's so.

Look at her. Look at her. She's so confident. That confidence is something like, look at this. Look at this. Kangaroo. When she got dusted by someone, she went, like she would yawn. I'm bored.

She's getting smoked. I mean, listen. and you can hate my take. But just try, just try for a second. If you're listening to me, you're going, you're out of your mind, Bert. Take a second and try to see the other side of the fence. That's the beauty of life.

I think. I love that. The chin grab our kangaroo. Kangaroo. I love that. She really put her thumbprint on it. Australia, baby. I did the kangaroo.

Yeah. That's so crazy. It's like you ever seen like there's, like, you know, some people say Andrew Dice Clay's best album is the day the music died. Or the day the laughter, the day the laughter died. I don't know if people know what that is, though. You should check it out. It's like, before you, before you, this is all I'll say.

And by the way, I would argue I fall into this category. Before you think the same way the masses think, take a second. Don't read a comment. Don't read anything. Don't go to your knee. Just take a step back and let it sit with you and see how do I feel about it? Like how do I like, you know, how do I feel about it? And when I watched Ray Gunn initially, I was like, this is silly, it's crazy, it's so stupid.

And then when I watch that doc, I was like, you know, man, with AI coming out, if you typed in AI breakdancing moves, you'd come out with a lot of the people that did exactly what they did. you would never come up with AI saying you should dance like a kangaroo and then a koala and then lay on the ground and run in certain like AI would and if we're going up against AI these days that's what creativity should look like I mean it's creative it's I mean I think what it is is it's a creative choice for somebody that has the limitations they have so it's like if you were in you know a kind of where you had to paint and you were going again and you were painting a guy hang on hang on you made your choices like stop right there hang on do you understand that that's the reason we got Jackson Pollock that I mean this is a theory obviously but the reason we got Jackson Pollock is because there were so many great European Russian painters and we didn't have one so we took Jackson Pollock this is obviously a little bit conspiracy theory we took Jackson Pollock and then we priced up his paintings

to say they were genius Jackson Pollock I mean for all the tons of purposes just threw paint at a thing, right? He was an alcoholic who threw paint at a thing. That's it. We all can do it. Everyone can do it. I mean, theoretically, everyone can do it. However, we priced it up. It's the whole thing about cryptocurrency and NFTs and all of that. We determine what the art is.

The second, we decide that it's art, it becomes art. And why not us collectively, NFT the fuck out of that lady and make that dance? That is the weird thing about this, is that all art is subjective. Jackson Pollock should have died alone no one knowing who he was but because we needed to fight the fucking communists we created Jackson Pollock

Google it someone fucking Google it I know I'm out of my mind that's a wild That's a wild wild You never heard that? No Oh by the way I

Let me tell you that The pastor's husband The pastor did nothing Jackson Pollock was a shill And Raygun's a genius And by the way check out busboys There you go check it out Please give me that Bible, dude.

I'm going to get you the Bible for, by the way, inarguably the best director of our entire times. Inarguably, no one can question how great Christopher Nolan is, and I will get that to you. Hey, have fun tomorrow on your first day of filming. I love you. I hope you have a blast, and I will see you soon. Okay, I'll talk to you soon, bro.

Bye. Bye. Tom, Tom and Bert, one goes top of the swall, the other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories and birds the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep them clean. Here's what we call, two bears one cave.