2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Sober Bert | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 201

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

SPONSORS:- Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice.Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. This week, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss their favorite radio shows and podcasts, Scientology, how Peru lost Machu Picchu, what it takes to be an ambassador, and much more! Plus, Bert went to Jazzfest, and saw some of his favorite artists perform, and found some new favorites. Also, Bert is deciding to get sober to help ease his crazy schedule!https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/tourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com/

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave Do I look drunk right now? Change app for 20 Rick, here we go This is your place woman, make me push, push Or whatever Just someone's gonna do the... Ah, fuck Was the chair scared

Sheared the shit out of me, I was in the chair Sincerely, let me kill this so I can get rid of these fucking peers 100% 100% This episode is brought to you by Satova SAA TVA.com slash the shit Use that URL and you will get $200 off any mattress of your choice Why Satova because when you go to a store and you look at their top of the line mattresses, they charge you 10 times the price

because they're covering their rent, their commissions for their sales people, their drug habits, they're doing bad awful things, and they're not good people at the other mattress companies. Safa, on the other hand, wonderful people. And they pass on all their savings by not having so many storefronts and not having to pay commissions.

They pass those savings on to you. Get a luxury firm mattress, get a loom and leaf mattress, get a solar mattress. They're all great. You can't go wrong. You get a high quality mattress. It's environmentally friendly and award-winning customer support all by going to Satova. S-A-A TVA.com slash the shit and get $200 off any mattress of your choice. Welcome to the show.

I mean, paybars for the heat, I still have. So what an aggressive fucking language. It's super aggressive. Really, right? Yeah. What do you think, you think what's more aggressive to hear it just is like a and no no no no no you mean your natives no I'm soil on our our native soil we're in loincloths our beautiful wives are behind of us our

skins are olive brown wait describe our wives in this scenario oh but the not the ones we have I don't worry I wasn't giving us those ones. Your wife has has black locks of hair that look like they've had a Conditioner in them, but it's just the way the salt dries in her hair. She's beautiful very small nose big lips bright green eyes Whoa, her tits are perfect not not too big, not too big. They can just perfect. And she's got a big ass.

My wife's, my height. She says tall as me, her hair is jet black, straight. And it's hanging, covering her breasts. And they're a little bigger than they should be. And later in life, they'll get hanging low, but right now they're perfect. They don't speak English? They don't, we don't either.

Okay, great. We all speak our thing. And our language is a beautiful tongue. It's like this. Bulu nida da buh. Ho zanda la ta yonda, honda kanjonda. That's how we talk, right? Now we see a boat full of a different people coming at us.

Yeah. Let's rank the... Ah, okay. Let's rank the scariest languages to hear coming at us, okay? Because if it's a boat full of Germans, it's like, Oh, the nine, Sander, Svade, Svade, Svade, Shalan. Or Japanese people. And now, okay.

Now, Senaka. Yeah, okay. Or the most popular one was either wider Spanish. So give me some aggressive Spanish. That was a Yoroshko. Dumdys. That's nice to meet you. My name's Tom.

And what? Japanese. Oh, okay. Do you think we're supposed to speak the real language? I'm making it a lot. Well, yeah, I knew that. I wasn't like, oh, burp, just fucking spit out some top tier German. Okay. So I was sharing the fucking one of the six things I can

send you down to. Okay. Suzy. No, but yeah, that is. Okay, that's it. Isn't it crazy, too? That's how they say it. You can actually go to Japan and go Suzy.

And they'll be like, I know what he wants. Suzy. And then, okay. And then English and like, I know what you want. Soda! Yeah. And then, okay. And then English and Spanish were two of the most popular ones. Yeah, but for a grad, because Spanish and English. That's what I'm saying, though. That's why the Spaniards were allowed to run a muck.

Meera estos, meera estos paricones, el gordo por ahí, el otro que se me lloro también. No tienen pelo, los vamos a matar. Vamos a cortar sus estómagos a ver que si no le pingas, I'm not going to kill him, I'm not going to kill him. I'm going to cut his stomachs, to see if you're not going to fight him. Obviously, they're rascals. So they're saying all that. All right, and then I'll do...

That was very homophobic, I just want to apologize. And then it was just an example of a conquistar showing up. I'll do James Cook. Okay, so. All right, boys. It looks like we can take these two and fuck the women. I'll take them on the left, you take them on the right. No one with climiny against off the boat, okay?

And so those are the voices you hear. And then you have to do, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, I said, Jews didn't conquer anybody. That was not Hebrew. What was that? Oh, Muslim. Well, Arabic.

Arabic, yeah. Yeah. But the Arabic, I don't think they conquered anyone either. They were Arabs. Yeah, they were really docile. No. As a matter of fact, as a matter of fact, check it out, Google it,

the Muslims and Arabs got caught by the Portuguese. But the Portuguese, the Arabs went into Spain and they actually completely dominated Spain for a couple hundred years. That was by foot. What? In the Central Asia and Africa, invading the countries they passed, the Salem and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, how about Arabs conquering Spain? Cause that is...

Okay, I'll take, I'll take Arabs, I'll take Arabs. And then seven years, they conquered them in the South. The Iberian peninsula, but that's the entire reach. You have to look when the, look when fucking the seven, 11, wow. Yeah, and when did their Muslim rule decline. Oh, seven, 11. Wow. And when did their muslim rule declined? Oh wow, they did it for a while.

Fuckin'. They've been doin' this for a long time. Seven hundred years. I thought, man, I'll apologize to all the muslims. I thought you guys were the victims. I'd be swear to God. I swear to God. I thought, I thought, I'm being dead serious right now.

I thought muslims was a docile group of people that lived on the coast of Africa, and they were chill as fuck, and they saw boats, and they were like, hey, where are you at? Have you talked to a fucking Jaybird about that in a while? Those were getting in a creepy territory. Time for... Pfft!

How do you do this? I don't know. Are you think it's gonna, like, a button? It's a battle. I thought you were just like waiting for it to go, ooh, juice for a hundred. Okay. How much booze is in this Ryan?

It's a bell, right? Don't. Juice for a hundred. I'll take Muslims for 20 Rick. Okay, which group of people? Wait, which would you be the most terrified to hear of those? Germans. That Germans or Japanese are my two scariest.

Like the way the language comes out when they're angry or panicking. And super aggressive. Also, there's something about, I mean, not like we understand any of the other languages, but something about being like, you have really, like it's so aggressive and you have no fucking idea. No fucking idea. And it happens, it's having things happen quick around you. And then you know, like it's so aggressive and you have no fucking idea. No fucking eye.

And it happens. So everything's happening quick around you. And then you said, we said, we're wives, when do we have a job? When do we have a job? And that means get to the trees. Get to the trees. Get to the trees.

Tell the others, white men come. And they bring pesticides. Yeah, pesticides. No pesticides, you know what I mean? Yeah. We're not gonna be able to grow crops. I'll say smallpox for 100. Yeah.

Viruses? Viruses. Hey, guys, two bears won, gave birth crisis here. We're gonna have a drink. And for all you internet sluice who think Joe Rogan's talking about me and that fucking clip, no, it's not me, you mother fuckers. He's got a clip out there that he's like, I drank with a friend and it got sad. And I just was like, I couldn't even look at him the same way.

And everyone's in the comments. It's like, it's burnt, it's burnt. Yeah. Do you think Joe Rogan has ever bit his tongue to talk about my lifestyle and mention my name? Do you think Joe Rogan has ever been like, I have a friend who's fat as fucking shit and says he can do everything?

I'm not gonna tell you what his name is. It's not me. And for the record, I know that because Joe called me. Wait, you are the guy in the second scenario. In the second scenario. Okay, but in the one. In the first scenario, the day it happened, he called me personally. He was like, hey man, we need to have a talk.

And he talked about that person. He was, we're both friends with that person. And so it's so bummed me out, because I started getting it sent to me. And I was like, oh yeah, I'm worried about him too. And then they're me and I was like, oh, yeah, I'm worried about them too And then they're like I'm like wait it's not me like I'm fucking Do I look drunk right now? Change after 20 Rick here we go all right. Let's have a little tequila. The key was nice. It does ring. Yeah, it does you got that right

I guess I'm a little tequila The littlest amount of tequila there is. Oh. Guess we're not drinking today. But this one has more. Has less. And this one's... No, this one has more.

Yeah, but that's not enough for the thing. What's the thing? What are we gonna have a fucking... Well, I should kill that real quick. It's... Tom? Yeah. It's killed.

Okay, but have a set. No, because here's the deal. I don't want to put the head of my dick in and not fuck okay we either fuck or we fuck And if I just get the head of my dick wet and then you're like you know what I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this without Economy we don't have a condom and you're like okay, okay, okay, well guess what I'm gonna come anyway Can someone so can someone please find something to drink in this fucking dry goddamn Christian fucking County for you Fucking really good. What's the sugar killing this Ryan?

There come on Whatever Yeah, that was crazy. It's crazy when internet sleuths, like I think they've done the math. Yeah. I know he's talking about. Oh, you know what the funniest one? I have to say this, just when, and I'm not gonna say what it is,

but when I had a Hugh Rubin on, oh my god, oh my god. We cut this joke. I meant to talk about him last night, keep going. Now he's so great. Oh, that's what I'm gonna say. Okay, well, we cut out a joke. And I got so many people be like,

I know what the joke is. I'm like, really? And can I tell you that not one person has even come into the fucking stratosphere of what the joke was? And then I see people go like, oh, I saw comments or like, yep, that's definitely what I'm like,

oh, but they just assume that they know it. I'm like, thankfully, nobody actually knows. I've done that. I've done that too. Where you, I listen to podcasts, but my lucky thing is I know all of them. So I'll be like, hit them up. Who the fuck are you talking about? And then I was like, it's never who you think. It's always, yeah, it's never who you think. So on, on, on, so on my podcast, anytime I said the name Neil Brennan, I believed out his name. I just believed out his name. Why? Just for fun. Oh, just for fucking shit and get me

giggle. Yeah. So I just believe out his name anytime I say Neil Brennan. And we have one episode where, uh, we were, I think somehow the someone, uh, oh, Psypha Sound said the N word, but he can because he's fucking in hip hop, he's part of the culture and he said the N word, but like in it, like you would casually. Good to know.

And so, no, but you can say to your Puerto Rican and Dominican and there's certain rules, I guess. I don't know, I'm gonna say it. And so, and so, so he says it and I said, bleep it out and then, and so, so he says it and I said, bleep it out. And then, and then big Jago's, oh, did he say Neil Brennan? And then when they bleep that out,

and then there was an overlap of people didn't know when we were saying the, they thought we were saying the N word when we were just using Neil Brennan's name as the word. And we already established that you say the N word when there's nobody around. No, no, no, that's not the fucking truth. What, what, there's nobody around, yes.

Like in my car if I'm singing in the shower, not in the shower. Oh, I love it when I'm cleaning out. How would I use it in the shower? You know, today's gonna be a great day. It's not gonna be. No, but there was an overlap where it was, where they started saying Neil Brennan's name instead where it would be confusing if whether or not they were saying they were,

because it was all bleeped out. It was very funny. But I had to go to Neil Brennan and be like, yo, just so you know, we're saying your name throughout this episode. And so I lost my little fun game where I got to saying, I've been saying Neil Brennan's name, bleeping it out for nine years now.

Are you being serious? Yeah, it's like, what do you think? He must have thought it was funny. He never knew it was him because he knew of course, but he liked it. He laughed hysterically. He was like, shut up, but it was so big. Jay was so good at. He's such a good improv.

Yeah. Jay looks fucking good. But that's why he's also like the best crowdwork I've ever seen. He is. He is so fucking quick. Yeah. Ila. What? Nothing.

Ila is in love with Big J. Really? She's in love with Big J. I'm gonna tell the story. Hopefully Big J is cool with it. So Ila is in love with Big J. And she says to see a girlfriend. And I said, I said, yeah, he does.

The Christine, she's awesome. And she goes, cool. She looks at me real serious. She goes, does he cheat? And I go, no. And then Leant says, very casually, but I think he's in an open relationship. I go, I don't know that.

I go, they, they maybe I don't know that. And I go, what's an open relationship? And I go, that's when they know you can hook up with other people. And so they let you hook up with whoever you want. And but usually it's together like when you're a team, but I don't know. It's really confusing. Mom and I aren't in an open relationship. And I go, and I can't say that for big J. So I don't know. But yeah, he's got to go off from Christine. I love big J. So big J calls me the other day. He's

like, what's up? I said nothing. I said, just, you know Ila was just, she was just talking about him because slipknot was coming on Query Taylor was coming on my podcast and Ila got hooked up with Query through Big J. She was so excited and she goes, let me talk to him. Let me talk to him. So I grabbed the phone, I give her a tie. All right, and Ila goes, what's up Mr. Open relationship? And Christine is with him and she goes, how many people did you fuck on the road? It take us, nobody, nobody, nobody, I grabbed the phone, I go, I'm so sorry, Jay, I'm so sorry.

I like goes, was I not supposed to say that? And I go, no, that was mom guessing he was in an open relationship because he's on legion of skanks and she thinks all them are fucking dogs. Ah, yeah. And also, the cute thing about that is that she's saying that took in their way to be like right like maybe me one day Like no, no, no, no, she does she flirting. She dresses. That was flirting. Oh

Come on. This is not that kid. This is not that kid, but she does dress identically to big J Thank you mother fuck. What is that? This is This is the problem with vodka these days. What's that? I don't know I don't like I like I'm not I'm not shitting on this vodka and I'm I'm sorry if I if you that's a Not a cool thing for me to do. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is a cool vodka. That's not cool I like all vodka's I like all booze but like certain bottles welcome me, you know? Yeah. I think I'm fucking breaking that now.

But like, I don't know, I don't know. The jewel of Russia, ultra, it's a great vodka. We'll try it out. Yeah, I don't know, I shouldn't say. What's the other one? Kasa? Kasa donkeys. Excellent.

Okay, this name is too long. You're one of the people. What does that say? How would you yell that to the top of Macha Picchu? Yeah, I don't know. Zolus, Queen Ted. What? Is it racist if I tell the race that I'm talking to what I don't like about their race? No.

Okay, here's what I hate about Proveans. Okay. Do you know you guys lost Macha Picchu twice? Twice? Like, maybe you know what I'm talking to, what I don't like about their race. No. Okay. Here's what I hate about Proveans. Okay. Do you know you guys lost much of P2 twice? Twice? Like, possibly three times. You know, you lost much of P2, right? I know about how it was.

Did you guys didn't do the fucking gardening? You lost much of P2. I don't know that that's the... Correct. It's true. It's true. I don't know what I mean. It's true. When Pizato came.

The fucking white guy. The Spaniard. Yeah. Finally, like, here's the problem I know him. It's true. When Pizato came. The fucking white guy. The Spaniard, yeah. Yeah, finally, like, here's the problem with Machu Picchu. That was wild cause they killed like 80,000 Incas with like 80 people. Yeah. That crazy. Well, you know what's cool about Machu Picchu?

So like when the Spaniards first tried to fucking kill the Incas or whatever, that all the Incas ran up to Machu Picchu and got up there, and the altitude was so high, the Spaniards couldn't acclimate. So they were just like, fuck, what do we do? And so they just left them alone. Here's what's crazy, that whole colony dies,

the whole group of people die up in Machu Picchu, and then shrubs grow over the steps they made to get to Machu Picchu. Shrubs grow over, one day, farmer, by the way, I'm gonna guess 1920, maybe not 1920. grow over the steps they made to get to Machu Picchu. Shrubs grow over. One day, farmer, probably like, I'm gonna get 19, 20, maybe not 19, 20. One day, a farmer is doing his yard work, right, cleaning up his hedges,

and he sees a set of steps, right? And he's like, what the fuck are these? What year are we talking about? What year was Machu Picchu discovered? Was recently, it was like, I'm gonna say 1890. 1890. Yeah, I'm Picchu discovered was recently it was like I'm gonna say 18 90 1890. Yeah, I'm gonna it was recently founded 1450. That sounds okay. I'll take it Wait, when did when did Pesado arrive that had to been the

1500s right Francisco Pesado lands or 300s, right? Francisco Pizato lands or goes there or the you know the Spaniards the fucking uh what's the uh in the stat this uh when we let me finish my story when the spics get there so here's the story Jesus Christ so he's he's cleaning up pushes and he finds a set of steps right but you're talking about, this is well after the conquest or no? Oh, well, this is well after.

Okay, okay. This is when they rediscovered Machu Picchu. So it was not an English guy that did it. It was an English guy that did it. But a Peruvian dude is cleaning up the bushes. That's not what I'm talking about. They lose Machu Picchu. Machu Picchu disappears.

Everyone, no one finds it, no one knows anything about it. And then one day, proving dude's doing his yard work and he finds a set of steps on his land. And then he starts walking up them and he's like, fuck, it takes him to Machu Picchu. And he's like, fuck, that's crazy. Goes back down and doesn't tell anyone about it.

Really? Just goes, that's crazy. That's in my backyard. Wow, that's wild, right? Maybe he tells like 10 people at a bar. And he's like, Hey, you're never gonna believe what I found though. And so, and so then, so then, white dude shows up and is like, okay, what's cool about this place? And they're in that same bar and the guy's like, Hey, I ever tell you about those steps. Everyone's like, what steps? He's like the steps to Machu Picchu

and like, huh? Then the white dude comes up, climbs up it. By the way, I don't even think he goes up to the top. He just goes up halfway and he's like, this is cool as fuck. Right? He just goes to see the walls. He's like, wow, walls, that's crazy. I'm gonna do a couple drawings, go home

and tell everyone about it. Then it gets lost again. Then they come back. One guy climbs the top and it's like, what the fuck is this? It is a what the fuck experience is. I've never been, I wanna go so bad. Nah, now that I've said all this about Proviens,

I'll go in with disguise,, I wanna go so bad. Nah, now that I've said all this about Proveans, I'll go in with disguise, but I wanna go so bad. I've been three times, and it's fucking, every time you're like, what's the altitude? I don't remember. I know that when you get to Kusko, which is like, where you take a train from there to the bottom of a much of teacher, and you go up,

that's also, there's a day, they always recommend a day, at least, of acclimation. It's a, yeah, it's 8,000 feet. So a lot. there's a day, they always recommend a day at least of acclimation. It's a, yeah, it's 8,000 feet. It's a lot. It's a lot. That's like, yeah, but look. It's like Red Rocks, October 4th. Kusko is at over 10,000 feet.

So that's what you do is you get to Kusko and you get like headaches. Kusko, it's like the day after my show at Red Rocks, I'll be in Vale at 10,000 feet. Is that 10,000 feet? Yeah, Vale's at 10,000 feet. Is that 10,000 feet? Yeah, it veils at 10,000. Is it really? I'm doing veil with the Siphon sounds.

Really? Yeah, I was gonna bring big Jay and Dan Sotok's there doing red rocks with me, but I just, I don't know, I thought it was cool. I mean, Siphon, Siphon's a great fucking hang. Yeah. Oh my god. I didn't even tell you about fucking, okay, put it in it. No, no, no, no, let's finish this. And then remind me to tell you about Jazz Fest.

Okay. I want to tell you about Jazz Fest so bad. Okay, okay, put a pen on it. No, no, no, no, let's finish this. And then remind me to tell you about Jazz Fest. I wanna tell you about Jazz Fest so bad. Okay, okay. So, the, so yeah, how old were you the first time you went to Machu Picchu? I'm fascinated by Machu Picchu. They lost it three fucking times. First time I went, I was probably like 14. And I was like, I mean, it is, it is,

there's a fucking, that's up in the mountains, man. It's like a city up in the mountains. And it's more elaborate than you can put in this photo. And you really do go like, your whole thing is, how did something like this get built up here? This tastes so, there's sugar in this. It's good. This is a tequila. Tequila, I don't know, it's really good. It's good. This is a tequila.

Tequila, I don't know, it's really good. I thought there's no sugar in tequila. It tastes really good. It is epic, dude. And then on a clear sunny day, and then you start picturing that there were people, this whole city operated. Like, people had jobs, things to do.

And, you know, how do they get water? There's a whole thing operated. Like, people had jobs, things to do and, you know. How'd they get water? There's a whole thing of also like, how do you get stone? It's not like they just go, here's a rock. It stones that fit perfectly. You can see the seam on top of this next one. And it's not like a hundred pound rock. It's a fucking 20,000 pound stone.

There was no chance that there were rivers up that high and that all of a sudden, like the rivers descended. I don't think so, dude. It's something like that blows my mind. All right, here's what I'm gonna do. You ready for this? Yeah. What do I wanna see in this world?

I wanna see Machu Picchu. What do you wanna see? Someone said to me the other day, Andrew Schultz is playing Dubai or Abu Dhabi. Yeah. Someone was like, Derek Poston wasultz is playing Dubai or Abu Dhabi. Yeah. Someone was like, Derek Poston was like, do you want to play Abu Dhabi? And I was like, it doesn't appeal to me.

And maybe it's not saying I wouldn't do it. But it's not like on my bucket list, especially if we're to perform. I'm not certain I'd appeal to them. Yeah, you don't think so. I think it would be like Larry the cable guy doing a TED Talk. You think so? I think everyone would be like, no, no, a TED Talk. You think so? I think everyone would be like, no offense, no shade on Larry Dan, but you know.

But like I don't think, I think they'd be like, why don't you just hit your kid? And you're like, I don't know. I don't know. Okay. You let your wife talk to you like that? Yeah. It's like, you know they did what about Raymond

in Russia, did you ever hear that? They tried to reboot what about Raymond in Russia? Did you ever hear that? Oh. They tried to reboot what about Raymond in Russia? Everybody loves Raymond. Everybody, yeah, what about Raymond? No, what about Raymond? And what about Raymond? And what about Raymond?

And what were you thinking, what's the what about? What about Bob? What about Bob? And so they tried to do what everyone loves Raymond in Russia and then and then in the writers room they'd be like and then Raymond hits his wife right and they're like what he goes why would she talk to him like this he he slaps her he slaps her tells her this is your place woman make me kush kush or whatever I didn't mean that.

Look, you know, I love Russians. I'm gone over the bus. I know what the title of this one is, Bert Zino Fobick. So, um, so wait, let's go. So, Macha P. Joana C. What the fuck are you laughing at? I'm just, I don't know, I think you should stay in the States.

I don't think you're gonna be getting the call to be an ambassador. You know my pitch-out a TV show would not? You the ambassador? The ambassador bird, where I go into a small country, and I just set up shop and like pitch myself as an ambassador. Yeah. And I just fucking introduce America to them.

I didn't know that being an ambassador is such a lobbying thing that people do. I didn't realize that when someone's, especially in the choice places, that becomes a thing where like big wigs, like people who are super high achievers that have like crazy careers, you know. A lot of like kernels. Yeah, but also you see like, you know, former CEOs, executive, as people that were like high up in corporations, they, if their guy becomes president, it's like, it'd be like you and I,

like Joe's president, we're like, you know, I really feel like me and London, with your best interests, there becomes a thing where you're trying to get the appointed for that. And then, get, because it is, well, we kind of got that Joe became the biggest podcasters in the world.

We all got careers. Yeah, I mean, nice. It's kind of crazy. We got that ambassadorship. Well, this, I mean, it happens in every generation. Chelsea did it. Chelsea became the president of Colby

and then all of a sudden, Jen Kirkman, Josh, Joe Koy. For Angela, Joe Koy, that everyone's, Heather McDonald, everyone's careers just bonked. That's like the tonight show. Tonight show, that's like,

Opie and Anthony was a big one. Did you ever listen to Opie and Anthony? You know, it was a thing that I totally, I think it was just, I don't wanna say generational, cause I think it was geographic too. It was geographic, but it was because I went to,

I didn't know I went to school but I started with comedy with all those guys. It was geographic, but it was because I went to school by start a comedy with all those guys. In New York, yeah. I could really fucking, I got like every fucking mangain in New York. I have a whole thing though where I kinda like, I get like freaked out and anxious with like. Associations.

No, five people on Mike. Like, yeah, I also don't like comedic scenes like in movies or television, where it builds to chaos. In other words, I don't like, and people like yell and scream at each other. And like that's where the scene builds to. I, when people are like, that was hilarious.

I'm like, it didn't work for me. It's too, it's like being in a room with people screaming. I want to walk out of this room. That's what I felt like watching scenes like that. It just feels like chaos always is the, like what they get to. And I'm like, that just doesn't, and I feel like when I went on those radio shows,

when somebody goes, check this out, this is really funny. And you put it on and you haven't heard it before, and you hear five different voices, I'm like, this feels like too much for me. It was too much at times, I think, because I knew whose voice was, whose voice. Yeah, it was probably a thing.

I was like, oh, that's Ben Bailey. Oh, that's rich voice. Oh, that's, like I knew those voices. It's amazing. I also say that I didn't really get, like, to be fair. I sound like I gave it a fair chance. I heard it probably one day and then I just, you know. Howard, I'll tell you what, I was a fan.

I was always a fan of Howard. I liked, I don't like, I know that everyone's shitting on him because he's like woke now. I don't really care that he's, I don't listen to, I'm not gonna listen to any grown man's politics and they let it affect me at all. You can go suck a dick. If you think you're gonna influence me,

I'm fucking 50 years old. I'll make my own fucking decisions. Suck a dick about everything. That's what blows me away is when people are like, I don't like how it's politics. I don't give a fuck. Does he do a good interview with fucking Dave Grohl? Yeah.

That's all I care about. I like, I like, I like a cool, and Howard is probably one of the best interviewers there is. My opinion is great interviewer. I'll tell you Joe, I'll tell you for real, Joe Rogan is, in my opinion, pound for pound, an amazing interview with those, lighting with comics, he's a different show, but when he has someone like the like the stammets, the guy with mushrooms or like fucking Elon Musk or fucking Rick Rubin or any of those interviews, Rogan's fucking legit pound for pound my favorite interview to listen to.

Howard though is a legend. His interviews were so fucking thoughtful. I don't know if he's still doing like the radio show. I don't. Yeah, I think so. And I think the, because I don't listen to anything anymore, like, I used to, I'm saying I used to get in the car and turn that on, but I do see like everything. I hear, I see clips. Yeah. And I do like watching him interview. That was a mistake He made is that he didn't put a shit on YouTube He should have put a shit on YouTube

But would have I think it would have kept us well, I think I'm just saying it would have stuck up for a paywall show though Right, so if they give it away on YouTube, but I hope you and Anthony just posted it on YouTube They did yeah, by the way they are responsible some for some of the worst interviews I've ever heard in my fucking life that were some of the most entertaining interviews I've ever heard in my fucking life. When they would fucking bring someone on and just like openly trash them to their face. To their face? It's something you would love so much. Really?

It's so your sense of humor. Jim, Jim, Jim Norton would be like, so they'd be on the phone with someone and he'd be like, so we're reading your book and it's really great. And he'd just be ripping up the book on the thing in front of the lady and it would be, it was, it mean by the way, so cringey, but like you could not stop listening. They did an interview with fucking Bernard Getz, the subway shooter, Bernie Getz, guys shot fucking three black kids in the back. On a subway in the 80s?

They interviewed him? They interviewed him. And then they pretended to break one of his tapes and he went, but it does. Was he in studio? Yeah, he was in fucking studio. Jesus.

This is a guy and he was almost telling him where he buried the gun. It was, they would do, but it was like, but in the whole point of the interview, it was teedin' me on a great interview and then they do something to set the person off and then you would hear chaos in the studio. It was like the worst interview that was the greatest listen,

if that makes sense. I'm, wait, hold on. Can I give a shout out to these two dudes? Sure. Talking about great pods. So. It's crazy. You know what you just did? What?

You just interrupted yourself. It's real? Yeah, you usually do it to me or whoever else is in the room, but you just did it to yourself. You're like, hold on a second man. Hey, I want to give a shout. You were the one talking. You just like stepped on yourself like,

give it a second. I want to give a shout out to these. I wasn't talking. Oh. I don't know. I'm bad. And as if I drink, I'm even worse. Didn't you say that, because you went to the club,

that Joe told you that? What do you say? because you went to the club that Joe told you that? Yeah. What do you say? Well, it was it's more complicated than just that. Like he didn't just go, hey, you have an interrupting problem, which is very, by the way, very Joe. Yeah. But he we were talking about we I was with your wife and I was talking about the conversation we had yesterday and I was like I was and she just came up and we sort of very casually talking about it. Yeah. And she was explaining you and she was like, you know, you know, no one sees this, but Tommy's a very sensitive person. And I go, I think a lot of times people see us quiet and it's just like, he has like

resting bounce or face, where you're just like, and so she goes, no, no, no. And I said, yeah, and so we had a great talk. And I said, you know, it's great because sometimes I don't listen very well and Joe's off the side listening and he goes, yeah, you interrupt a lot. And I go, what? And he goes, no, it's fine, but it does become frustrating as your friend. Sometimes you'll just interrupt people

and just start talking. I go, I'm working on that. And he goes, oh, it's gotten way better. But you still do it. And I said, yeah, and I go, I do it as a friend. I do it just, I do it. I just do it. I don't even know I'm doing it. Yeah. I do that. And here's the other thing I do that I go, I do it as a friend. I do it just, I do it. I just do it. I don't even know I'm doing it.

Yeah. I do that. And here's the other thing I do that I hate that I do is if you tell me your story about swimming in the ocean, yeah, I have to tell you my story. Yes, you do. I can't. I was also going to do part two of that,

which I thought you were doing. Which, you definitely, if I go, I'm sitting in the ocean, you have to tell your story. But you also, I thought what I thought you were going to say is, if you tell me your story about swimming in the ocean, I have to tell my version about you swimming in the ocean. Because you know, if we're using that as an example, if somebody walked in the room and was like, you ever said in the ocean, be like, you would be like, Tommy, just to,

and you would tell the story that I told, but it would have all kinds of... I did that to your wife last night. Yeah. I did that to your wife last night. What do I mean? Greg Garcia said, she was doing an impression of Ellis, and she was telling an Ellis story.

I go, can I tell my favorite Ellis story? She goes, what is it? And I said two weeks. She goes, oh yeah, I can hold on, I'll tell it. And then I told her Ellis story to Greg and it murdered. She could see her in their eyes and went, that's not exactly how that story went. I can't help it. I love the story.

I love the story aspect. Man, when I hear a story, I wish I could, I wish I could just be a thief and just take other people's bits because you tell stories sometimes that are so fucking good, but you just throw them away and you just leave it. And I see all the meat on the bone

and I go, oh, I could fucking punch that up. Yeah, you just reminded me that I should tell that story more on stage. It's my favorite. I did tell, remember the one I told, and then you were like, cut that out until that on stage. Do you remember that? When we did the Vegas live thing?

Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's my closer right now. Like in my new stuff, I'm doing it. It's fucking, your Ellis material is, I wish I had a fucking new kid. Yeah. You can get one, you can get one. Yeah.

Yeah. Get one that's like around that age. I hope George gets pregnant soon. Good. That'll be great. Raise that baby like hearts are own. Would you take it? In a heartbeat.

In a, I go honey. No, no, no, no, no. You got pregnant, this shit happens. We'll send you up to Aspen. You get chill for a while, get away from the world, get healthy, we're gonna give birth, we're then gonna send you back to college, we're mom and I'll take this baby.

And it never happens. And never have to. You never have to. You don't have a baby, we have that baby. Yeah. And then you go ahead, live your life, you don't have a baby, we had a baby. I would love that.

This tequila is too sweet. How is it so sweet? What was I, oh, this is what I wanted to tell you. There's a podcast, these two guys from Ireland, the podcast isn't huge at all, but it accidentally, as I'm listening to my history podcast, they, their podcast came up, and it was a clip of them talking about David Goggins, and they were talking about how like he doesn't quit and then the one guy goes,

I quit if I don't like the song. And it made me laugh so hard and I ended up listening to a bunch of their podcast while in Rayleigh, it's a really funny podcast and they only have 8,000 followers. So check them out, I will tell you this, it reminds me, it's like this. It reminds me a little, it's like a hot, it's, it's a little bit like two bears one cave. It's called the, the bomb squad

pod. They're out of Ireland and they just, they made me giggle. I follow both of them. And but it just the idea they were making fun of, they're making fun in themselves, but talking about David Goggins. Yeah. And I was like, God, they're fucking good. So give them, check them out, everyone. All right. All right. So wait. I got to god damn it, they're fucking good. So give him check them out everyone. All right. All right so wait I gotta say in Are you flexing? No my back just froze up. Oh this tequila is really sweet. You think that tequila is doing this? No, it's like sweet. I can taste it. I think cuz I'm not like Keto's fuck right now So you know what I have to say you said if I tell my ocean swimming story.

Yeah. You have to tell yours, which is the thing you normally do. But I don't think you told your ocean swimming story. Did you? Of course I did. There's no way you're telling a story and I'm not telling my version. What was your version? I don't know.

I'm sure it was like Deniku to yours, but just a little different with Bert in it. Did he? Yeah, I'm sure I did. I don't recall that. Oh, thanks. Okay. I was wondering if you had no ocean swimming. Oh, you did? No, you did. Yeah, I just, I did. I don't recall that. Oh, thanks. Okay. I was wondering if you had no, no, no. Oh, you did, no, you did.

Yeah, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I'm in clearer. That's right, that's right, okay. I just, I'm in too far out, but no, but I, I, but I, but I, what happens is, when someone tells a story in, in, in, when I hear, I try to connect with them.

When I connect with them, I go, oh, shit, I've been there. Yeah. And then I, and then I want to share. You go, you want to have to be me? Yeah, but it's, it's better than my fucking wife. We're like, you tell the Anna story and she'll go, uh-huh. And then you're like, so do you have anything that's adjacent to that where we can continue talking? She's like, no, it's good story. Do you ever swim in your lake?

Uh-huh. I said, where do you swim in a lake? Why swim the Alabama channel? What the fuck? And then you got to draw it out of her. Oh. It's like, listen, there's two times a pool. Why does this you volunteer, you think? She wants to celebrate you and your story. It's what a real person should do, but it's also like exhausting as fuck sometimes

at a dinner party where you're like, Hey, I feel like I'm doing all the fucking talking. And she's like, let them talk. I'm like, they're boring as fuck. Yeah. Like, God damn it. They'm like, they're boring as fuck. Yeah. Like, God damn it. They're fucking Scientologists. Let it go.

They're trying to fucking recruit us. Yeah, did they? No, but they made some really good points. Did you take it for a spin? Yup. Scientology. Yup. Yup.

I think I would do now. I used to mock it so much and I'd be like, yeah, I take it for a ride. Dude, I believe in the name. I mean, I don't believe in the fucking, you know, I'm not a big JC fan, so it's like, let's see what these guys got. I, what? I believe that if you do, if you play Scientology, right, you get to meet JC too. Yeah. Yeah, sure. All right. Hey Scientology, I'm here for you.

All right, finally. What? Jazz Fest. Oh, my God. I'll say this, you know that I almost went. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. No, cause I hit you up and said, do you wanna go and you said? I meant almost that I had multiple invites. Like, you invited me, agents called me and they're like,

you have, you'll have all the access and blah, blah, blah. Should have been awesome. Well, but I was like, yeah, it's like the day before I had another trip, I don't, you know. It was awesome though, huh? So, No, like California, right? Napa.

Yeah. It's Silverado, which is absolutely gorgeous. It was absolutely gorgeous. And I gotta give a shout out to Alex, who set it all up for us. He's the, it's his event. Him and I'm blanking on a bunch of names. All the people that own the blue note in Hawaii.

You ever do the blue note in Hawaii? You probably did when you were a long time ago. I did a long time ago, I did two shows there. And yeah, it's a club, right? Yeah, it's a club and it's an awesome jazz club, but they do stand up there. And so the blue notes have like a storied history with jazz. They've got one on West third.

Yes. They know what West third in, and they've got them all over the place. And so when I was a kid, I always, we had jazz festival, jazz fest in New Orleans, and you'd always see the cool dads from like your friends group.

The cool dads would be a jazz fest with a cigar and a hat and a cocktail and like a wi-fi-veta and they'd be like, they'd be like, they'd never, you're like, oh, you hear to see Dave Matthews and they're like, no, no, no, I came to see dot, dot, dot. The loniest monk or someone. And you didn't know anything about those names when you were a kid, but you were like,

I remember going like, wow, these cool dads seem to know. And so, so we get the invite. We're supposed to go see widespread panic in Huntsville, at which it was like, it was locked. I went to Montreal, we were gonna find a widespread, watch widespread, fly home, do something's burning.

Easy peasy. And then we get this fucking call about jazz fest and Leanne goes, Mary J. Blige is playing. And I'm like, what the fuck? She's like, do you know NAS? And I'm like, what the fuck? She's like, do you know NASS? And I'm like, noz? She's like NASS and Talib Kuali. And I was like, Talib Kuali is there.

And I was like, hold on, who else is there? She starts listening off the names. Rackim, Taylor Soul, the diggable planets. Yeah, it's a while. It's a fucking DJ Jassy Jeff and Rockim. It was such a fucking insane lineup. And then she says Dave Chappelle's hosting. Yeah.

And so now here's the deal. Here's what I happen to know is that if Dave Chappelle's there, it's where you wanna be. Yeah. Wherever Dave Chappelle goes, that's where you wanna be. The party follows. Yeah. Because he has a rolodex of motherfuckers. Wherever Dave Chappelle goes, that's where you want to be. The party follows. He? Yeah.

Because he has a role adex of motherfuckers, that no one gets their number and every single one of those motherfuckers says yes to Dave on everything. So I go, I don't hit up Dave, I just go, I take a yesterday thing, don't even tell Dave, I'm going because I don't want to be one of the fucking 100 people that want to get to who's fucking space.

I, when I did, I've done a few shows with him. Like they're like, oh, you want to go to the after party? And you know, I'm not a big. And then someone's like, you should go to the after party, right? Because you have to be, you have to get like a special band. And so because it's the show, when we get to the venue, security guys just saw me at the show.

So they're like, oh, good to see you, man, you're gonna have a good time, you go in there. And there's like, you know, music, and then you're like, oh, there's a DJ, who's DJing? And it's Q-tip from a trap, you're like, he's DJing the party. And then you look over here, and there's Drake, Chris Rock, and you're like, what in the,

and now I go, this is Dave Party. And there's like, at this one, 150 people, it's manageable. We go backstage, like we get there and our rooms are ready. By the way, they got us a room. It's like, this was like, I texted Robert Langsford, who's a part of the festival as well. I texted him.

I did not text Dave, I just don't want to bother him. I did not, I texted Alex. They got us a room. So like the whole big festivals here, and then the condos for the place are here, they got us a room and a condo in like a little condominium. So we could walk backstage within two and a half minutes, front stage within two and a half,

we were like in the perfect fucking spot. They took care of everything and we get there our rooms aren't ready. They're like, come on backstage. All of a sudden, it's everyone. It's fucking everyone. You've ever wanted to meet in hip-hop. All just hanging out, I'm just looking around. I'm like, holy fucking shit. And this is like, I mean, this is a weird humble brag, but it's pertinent to the story, is it almost everyone's black, but they all know who I am. Like they're like, but I'm a big fan and I'm like, I'm blown away,

because you know, that's not my demographic, that's not what I see in my shows. And every single one of them, this is the one that blew me away, the hardcore, because like, you're of my age, De La Soul was, I watched, first of all, I watched them. Yeah. I watched them perform.

It was fucking insane. De La Soul was fucking insane. D-Digble plans were fucking insane too. It was, but I'm like, De La Soul's, like, that's fucking crazy. And then I walk out of my thing. And I see DJ Macyo walking through the thing. He's smoking a blunt, what I was gonna say to him casually to see like, I didn't wanna be like,

go home a huge fan, I didn't wanna blow up a spot. But there were two cops right there and he's smoking a blunt and he's like, it's the best. And he's got a day left, so short on. And he goes and he's smoking a blunt and I wanted to say casually like, hey man, how cool is it that we,

you know, I wanna do something that connects and it's just gonna be awkward. But I was man, how cool is it that we, do you know how I'm, I want to do something that connects and yeah, but it's just gonna be awkward. But I was gonna say how cool is it that we live in a world where you can smoke a blunt in front of cops and they don't give a shit, you know, how much if things change, cause I know he's roughly my age. But I don't say anything, I'm like,

just fucking let him be. And then he like stops and he goes, yo bro, I'm a huge fucking fan and I'm like this. And he's like, dude, keep doing what you're doing. You fucking keep pushing those limits. Keep doing everything man. You make us laugh or asses off. We fucking love you. And I was like, I'm just like, I think I was like,

I'm a fan also. That's all I said. Yeah. And he just walked away. And I went into the fucking room with the animals. Like shut the fuck up. If you had told me in high school that anyone, anyone in hip-hop knew who I was. I with the animals like shut the fuck up. If you had told me in high school that anyone that anyone in hip hop knew who I was, I would be like, shut the fuck up. It was crazy.

I saw DJ Jassy Jeff. Do you know where you're probably, do you know where we saw Macyl? Where? Take, we were together. Where? You don't remember this? No. Is that how he knows me?

No. No, no, no. Where are we? The National Championship Game, FSU Auburn. Wait, where do we see him there at the game? Who's serious? Do we say hi? I believe so, yeah.

Fuck me. Yeah, you know why he was there. His son was running back for Auburn. Oh, that's right, yeah. Oh, that's right, I do, yeah. And then you know that I used to have like, I have his phone number. Like I used to talk to him somewhat.

That's how he knows me from two bears one cave. No, no, no, I met him when I was a theater act. And then this festival was set up for you. I wish I really do. Can I tell you one of the coolest times I've ever been associated to? Yeah. So we have total access.

You can go on stage. You can you can stand on stage, which if you if you've done if you're if you're familiar with shows at that level You don't want to be on stage. It's like the worst audio you're ever going here. Yeah, so we're we're leaving our scoot around front the entire time I see see Mary J. Blasch perform no she was the day. She was the night before we were there and so um so we We We're there and so so we We get the we the one of the first shows we see together me and Liam's getting shit done I was just scooting around the whole festival by myself seeing some amazing fucking acts

And then Leanne would hear them and go I wanted to be there for that. I was like well He's too busy fucking doing the work. Yeah, go check us in baby. And so so but we go side stage the first one We go to together we side stage, she goes, who's this? And I said, Nass, I said it's Talib Kuali. She goes, who's that? I said, just listen to him, just listen to him. I go, he's like, I got introduced to him on Kanye, because I didn't know anything about Blackstar

but I did know Most Def, but I got introduced to him on Kanye's album when he did one of his, I forget the name of the fucking track, and I fell in love with him. And then I fucking did a deep dive. I didn't even know who most deaf was at that point. I got introduced to most deaf when he was, I wanna kick myself in the ass by the way,

when I tell you you're gonna go like, shut the fuck up. I got introduced to most deaf through the Chappelle show, when he'd have freestyle on the truck. And it was like the baddest, too deep. I mean, that's why I Chappelle did that. It was the introduction to people. Dude, it was, and so, we watch Tele I mean, that's why I should have held did that was to introduce the people Dude, it was and so we watch telly ukulele. It's fucking amazing He's amazing, and it's all freestyle everything's like everything's like it's because it's jazz fest

Everything's just off the top. Everything's bringing people in new people's come in and fucking rhyme and it was awesome So I get off stage and I'm like like I gotta meet telly ukulele. I gotta meet with little curly So I got I'm like practicing. I'm like Hey, I'm stage and I'm like, I gotta meet Caleb Crowley. I gotta meet with Caleb Crowley. So I'm like, I'm like, practicing. I'm like, hey, I think you're gonna remember. Where you're like, sup dog? What? What did you do, baby? Like, you.

I'm like, yo, yo. So. He's cool. The lives are super cool. But, you know what my end is, right? What? I think, I think, you know, my friend Tom, is that what you said?

I was going to. Oh. I was like, hey man, I want to just introduce myself and he's like, fucking knows me and me. He's like, Bert, what's up? Dash me up and I'm like, and then he's like, dude, I'm fan. I know Tom, I go, yeah, I know you know Tom.

And I was like, he's like, he's my guy. Fuck, and he's like, when are we gonna podcast? I was like, whenever the fuck you want. And then Leanne's like, then he walks away and he was like, I'll see you later. And I was like, and he's like, he's my guy. Fuckin' he's like, when are we gonna podcast? I was like, whenever the fuck you want? And then Leanne's like, then he walks away and he was like, I'll see you later. I was like, I'll see you later. And Leanne's like, the guy you like knows who you are. And I was like,

I was like, it was Talib, Talib Bane. Talib Bane. And so, it was so fucking cool. So then, so this is the best part of it. I'm gonna tell you two best parts. Yeah. I'm gonna tell you two best parts. Yeah. I'm gonna tell you three best parts. So, Noss destroyed. Oh, Noss destroyed. He looks awesome. By the way, you know that it's

because of the how the music business has changed so much. There's not the same level of press and there's not the same heat cooked up for new music that comes out. The only time you actually peripherally hear about new music is usually when it's like a pop star now, you know, it's like Taylor Swift is releasing something. You know, like, you don't have to be a fan, but you'll hear that. Yeah, it just permeates. And yeah, it's like, and that has to be like, because someone's gonna do like,

just, the chair, sorry, the chair, sorry. It was the chair. It was the sh- It was the sh- It was the sh- It was the sh- It was the sh- It was the sh-

It was the sh- It was the sh- It was the sh- It was the sh- It was the sh- It was the sh- It was the sh- It was the sh- It was the sh- That's better. Go ahead. Okay. Fuck. Well, good. I thought I fucking was dying. Yeah. That's scared. That's scared. That's shit. That's... Go ahead. You were saying Taylor's left? Yeah. Well, first it was...

Does that count as an interruption? No. No. It was that I thought something bad was happening. And then in my... The second, like, micro-second thought was like, do you broke the chair? You know? Yeah. I thought I did, too you broke the chair? I thought I did too.

I think I might have, keep going. I definitely did, keep going. Okay. So, you don't hear about this, you don't hear about new, you have to be really looking for it or connected to it. Do you know that in the last like three or four years, Nas just puts out new albums that don't get like all the same chatter,

also because like the music landscape has changed, it's not like in the 90s when an album would come out, there was just no way that it wouldn't be conversations about it. And I just hear about like some of you like, oh, you check out the new Nas album, I'm like, what? And then you get it. And it's like, it's, these are like masterful albums. And then you go, oh, like, you would imagine someone's just done for a while, but he is in this pocket of creativity for the last, I'm telling you, like, I would say in the last three or four years, I think he's probably put out four albums that are incredible out and he just came out with one. Someone to Jeff Tate texted me.

He's like, yeah, go to the most recent discography though. It's, can you call it? Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scroloch, Scrolo Scrolin 22 in 2021 Kings disease magic. That's this is not even this is not a full Discography Wow, this is not a full discography. I have not I have not here. I have not here. I think with I think there's two more go there It Where's the list All the way down.

Yeah, see? We're loose July 1st. Yeah, he just won't lose one like a couple of weeks ago. Yes. And then go back up again here. What? Yeah. Magic is December of 21. And then November 11 of...

22. 22, there's another one. Obviously, it's the... Obviously, these are albums, dude. And I just blown away that he's just, he's just like putting them out. I feel like I don't see anybody making, hey, let's draw attention to this.

It's almost like, Shepel puts his festival together with Alex and the guys of the blue note she's like, she'll put his festival together with Alex and the guys of the blue note. Yeah. And he, you can see his thumb print, his fingerprints all over it because he is.

So he does his set at 5 p.m. with Robert Glassford. I think I'm saying the name right. Who does the set? She'll tell. She'll come out, fucks around does a little, not stand up, but fucks around the way she'll tell does.

Brings out, is it Robert Langsford or Glassford type in blue note festival and Robert Robert is like by the way second I got there Robert came up greeted me he's in a fucking Lakers Jersey and he's like the kindest guy in the world He's like the you know backstage whatever you want whatever you need you come to us Robert Langsford and so he's like whatever you need us Robert Langsford. And so he's like, whatever you need, we got you Robert Langsford, right? It doesn't need to. He's a jazz legend. Jazz legend. So immediately like I'm watching Robert Langsford watch him with Liam and it's fucking magical. I mean, and she pells on there. So she pells fucking around. Robert's bringing out different artists. It's really like fucking.

It's like everything you'd want, right? And then I see Nas, my only thing I'll say about Nas, he looks phenomenal. He looks like he's, man, say this for real, that's how good he looks, he looks like he's got work done. But he looks, him and Dave Matthews are the only two people I've ever seen where I went, I got a fucking clean my act up because I don't want to look old, Nas looks young,

he looks young, he's got braids in, he up because I don't wanna look old, Nas looks young. He looks young, he's got braids in, he looks great, right? Right. He's gotta be fucking 52. Gotta be, right? He's gotta be. So we go to bed that night.

The next morning, we wake up, and I hear the, just fucking, I hear like fucking music, I hear everything, the festival's already a lot. We go, by the way, my buddy Omar Dorsey's there, Alonso Bodins there, like people that are cooler there. Big time blacks. Big time, big time blacks.

Yeah. Yeah, Omar is like pretty dark. And so shout out to Omar. So I go over with Leann and she goes, what do you want to do? I said, let's just go explore. And I want, because my real thing is, I have so many friends that listen to the same music, they've listened to their whole life, they haven't grown into listening to new bands. I told you, I've been getting into this band goose because I wanted to find new artists

that I love. So I go, I want to see something I've never seen. And I want to open myself up to see if I like it. So we go over and there is what I can only describe as like the ultimate jazz Experience I've ever seen in my life the guy's name's Corey Henry and he know I do not know who he is I'm sober. I'm hungover. I've had a cup of coffee. I'm sober. It's hot as fuck and he's on there with like eight people on stage And he puts on the best fucking show I've ever seen in my life

So overwhelming. I started crying like he does. I'm gonna get emotional. He did this thing at the end It's Sunday and he goes who needs the Lord in them today? It's Sunday, right? And he goes from person to person and starts almost like Prince, like getting their thing like, like, come on. And then, and he gets them playing, then base, then he goes to the drums, and he starts doing his body to them

and the drum guy matches his body, then he goes to the fucking organ, and then he brings it in, and he creates a song, and it's, I mean, it's like we were crying. It is one of the, I mean, like, sincerely, let me kill this so I get rid of these fucking tears. I'm gonna see him when he's in LA. He's doing a piano solo.

His name is Corey Henry. I'm being sincere. If you ever get to see this guy, you do not need to know any of his catalog. He puts on he's Stevie Wonder's favorite act. Really? That's that something. He's Stevie Wonder's favorite act. And I went up to him. Where are you going to see him do the solo in Los Angeles? I think he's at he's a jazz club in Los Angeles. He's doing two nights. Soon. Yeah, in August, I think in August. What night? I don't know.

What type in Corey Henry was I'm telling you, it was fucking magical. Who's at the Paramount here in Austin? That's, I would go see him at the Paramount. He's doing his solo piano stuff, but this guy is. Oh, the piano tour. Looks like I see right there. at the live streams and tour dates The drop down. Yeah right there the first one just just click the first

Yeah, he is wears when's he in when's he in Los Angeles? I think end of August It's keeps growing keeps growing. I'll tell you, keeps growing. Chicago, St. Louis, Nashville, Boston, Philadelphia, Washington, Denver. There you go. Los Angeles, August 24th and 25th. My mom, my mom, me and my aunt are going to that. And we're bringing my cousin Owen. I can go on Thursday.

You wanna go on Thursday? I can go. Done, I got it. Okay. He is fucking insane. I mean, so talented, but so improvisational. So then, I'm in it, right? I go, you're less I We had his last show when he did the church thing. I let a joint grab the tall boy and I was like I'm crying

And so I'm a why can't emotional these days? So then so then we go over to Um, actually drink so you don't get to don't worry. Get rid of these fucking tears. Yeah to make sure you drink so you don't get to... Don't worry, get rid of these fucking tears. Yeah. So then we go to this band called Dommie and Beck, please thank you. D-O-M-I and Beck, okay, Tom. So now I feel like, I'm like, I feel cool.

I feel like a cool dad, because I just saw some jazz, and I got it. And you're gonna see this. These two mother fuckers, they're fucking 17, they're out of Dallas, Texas. Bro, the kids? They're children, they're children. They're really good friends with Chappelle,

like legit, because Chappelle, and I'm speaking four days, but like, you know Candyman? Yeah. He came and grabbed me and he was like, you want to meet the kids? I go, yeah, he's like, they're good kids, they're backstage. Cause I was blown away.

Can you see if you can find a video of them playing? Because you gotta see the way they play. The drummer is a savant, a fucking savant. Shhh, that's not- Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Especially on a Glanz penis. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Who plays drums? Back. Now, who is that though? He's the blue guy. Okay. She plays a piano and they said to me, quote unquote, this backstage and all the artists are backstage are like, yo, this is the fucking band. Every hip-hop artist grabs their beats. Really? They're fucking, they're fucking, oh, I love NPR that does this thing, man. Oh, this, they are. The tiny desk.

It's so cool. You got it, just watch him play because it's it's like it's legit jazz Oh, you can play it like that. Oh Wow Look at this kid She's playing bass and piano based with left hand piano with the right hand She's from France How old are they 17 and the 19 I think?

from France. How old are they? 17. And then 19 I think? Fuck. Dude, they fucking, this kid is the sweetest kid, right? So, listen how quick his drums are. I'm just watching them both go. So this is right after Corey Henry.

And do they sing too? She does every now and then she'll sing. But mostly it's like the two of them together are just savants. I dig this. Their mentors introduce them to each other. I dig it. All right, we should probably get it right now. So, I'm putting it in my phone because I dig this. Oh, I bought their album and I got on the fucking plane

and I had a cocktail and I just disappeared in my own thoughts. Which is what I think jazz is supposed to make you do. So I go up to, I take videos of all these people, right? And I posted on Instagram, you know, to try to like share them and fucking dummy him back hit me up and they're like, go, we're huge fanzaders. And I was like, I was like, in my head, they're fucking 19, I'm 50. And I'm like, shoot the fuck up, shoot the fuck up.

And they're like, we listening to you in the bus, in the van, our tour manager fucking loves you guys. And so I was like, shot the fuck up. Really? So I go back to age, I meet them, they're like, cool-ish shit. So then, so now I've had the full jazz experience, right? We watch Robert Langsford at the end, he kills.

And now Leanne and I, I'm like, I'm done. This we're gonna kick me in the fucking dick. Chance the rapper's long. I'm not the hugeest chance rapper fan and I've had a very big experience and I go, you know what, they're telling me, you know, we're bringing us up backstage to say, hang out with Dave and I'm like,

I don't wanna ruin it. I've had such a great time. I wanna see Dave, but I also don't wanna be the nine, ninth person that has to be like, what's up Dave? and he has to give a minute to I want him to have He's fucking festival. Yeah, so I said babe. Why don't we just go back to our room? We'll see on the golf course I'll hide a cigar glass of wine Fucking done So we're listening to Chancellor rappers pretty cool and all sudden Dave's like all right and we can hear him on the fucking thing all right this isn't

fucking over ladies and gentlemen my friend Nassim oh most deaf oh I'm like fucking shut the fuck off yeah same Bay yeah same Bay my friend yeah same Bay yeah and I'm like I'm on the golf course with the end going, must have some stage. I'm fucking have some stage. And like, she's trying to kiss me. I go, get the fuck off of me, bitch. Must have some stage.

I got my scarf. What the fuck? You fucked this all up, Leanne. We're barefoot on the fucking driving fare. Got to have it most. That's what's the age. I go, I gotta go, I gotta go. I gotta go, I gotta go.

I'm fucking throw my scarf out. She looks at me. She goes, hey. You can hear them from here. We had a great night. Let's listen to him on the golf course. I was like, apparently you've never heard Black Star. I was like, you never heard fucking most deaf

and I was like, wow. So I just sat on the golf course with Leanne smoking a cigar, she was in a robe naked and I was just the whole time I was thinking about most deaf. I was like, don't fucking take a walk. I was like, fucking, then I was like, you know, everyone else is around and then I'm like, I bet this out, then the after parties were fucking crazy.

Did you go? Yeah, we went, they're crazy, they're just crazy. They're just crazy, like they're fucking crazy. And I don't wanna bother anyone, ran in DJ Jazee Jeff. That's cool. DJ Jazee Jeff and Rock him. Rock him.

Let me tell you something, do you know him? No, never met him. He, I said this to DJ Jazee Jeff, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. There's no like friendly shit, you know, like it's not even talking about. It's not like you should have been like, you know what I love about you man? You do very friendly rap and see how he he comes out. Do he guess this is how rock him is how rock him rolls ready? DJ Jazz he does puts on. He's you forget how mash full of DJ he is. Yeah, yeah. I went up to him. I said, yo, Philly, I'm a mash full of DJ he is. Yeah, yeah.

I went up to him, I said, yo, Philly, I'm a Philly, November 28th, and he goes, what? I said, I want you to open for me. He was like, huh? I said, I'm doing the arena in Philly, November 28th. I think, I'm 22nd to 29th. Brown Thanksgiving, he was on local. I said, just, I'm sending an offer.

He goes, you don't know what my quote is. I go, it doesn't matter. I'm sending you a fucking offer. And I was like, it doesn is. I go, it doesn't matter. I'm sending you a fucking offer. And I was like, it does matter, definitely does. I texted my team. I was like, the quote matters. I can't afford a lot. But I was like, I was like, dude,

how what a fucking show it, Philly. You got DJ Jazee Jeff. It's crazy. Because he did the opening. He goes, there's the 50th year of rap of the culture. Let's do a fucking, let's reminisce for a second. And he goes through and plays 50 years of rap in Five minutes and the fucking place is going next and then he goes ladies and gentlemen and you see a car door open behind stage

Rock him comes out of a car door with a mic in his hand rock him and he just comes up and he goes I ain't no joke and you're like The big dick showed up. It was so fucking sick. Rock him did not fuck around. It was, dude, you. I mean, I love my wife, but I wish you had been there. Yeah. Like, she didn't get it. She's like, who is he?

And I was like, I was like, oh, this is a rock him? Dude, when he did, when he did, uh, check the technique. Oh yeah, yeah. Or don't sweat the technique. That's like the thing. Oh, don't sweat the technique. I'll sweat the technique. Fucking dude, it was you missed, you missed a Tom Saguro show. Now that would have been so fucking fun. I knew it was gonna be awesome,

I knew what the lineup was and my Andrew texted me and he was like, I think you would love this. Dude, I was like, yeah, I would love that. Fucking DJ Jazzyef, Philadelphia, at the arena, Thanksgiving. Yeah, it's awesome. Open in the fucking show. And let me tell you something,

I will not be backstage. I will be in front. Hopefully we'll Smith will show up. That could be cool. It could be badass. I am the best thing I ever did was reach out to pre-mode to have them open those shows for me.

And it's like, it's my favorite memories. DJ Premier. Yeah. So who's, so who's, you have DJ trauma? DJ Premier. These are like the legit legendary DJs. DJ Jesse Jeff, I met a young man whose Dave's DJ, who is a white dude.

Do you know what I'm talking about? No, because trauma does a ton of those dates with when trauma can't do them. I met him. I went up and introduced myself to him because he was watching rock him. And he knew this cool thing rock him would do is he'd do his rhyme and then go and you hear fucking five thousand people just go with him. Just yeah, dude, it was like an emotional weekend for me Yeah, that's cool. I'm definitely gonna bring I'm going next year. I'm going next year

I'm gonna bring DJs to a lot of my you want to go next year. Let's commit right now. Yeah, I'll go blue note jazz festival In July right yeah, how about this how about this shout out and date? I don't know if they will hear this but Alex will hear this Okay next year We'll go not like Dave hosts and we'll host a hour every day. Let's host One of who we want to be with on stage like let's let's say like you know we like We would like because here's a deal. You're in our own show. Yeah, I mean this but like here's the thing about about these about these events And I learned it with fully loaded. Yeah.

And I mean this respectfully. I can load it up with everyone, but not everyone is gonna promote because they've got their own fucking shit going on. So when it comes to fully loaded, I promote it. I'm the promoter, I get it. I don't mind. I'll pay everyone what they want.

I understand that it lands on my back to promote that thing. If I don't promote it, no, if you, it's what happened with Oddball that last year. They didn't have a Dave or an Amy or a, you know, it's hard, you need that name that people go, oh, no, let's see. That's gonna be fun.

Now here's the thing we'd be offering is like, we are fans of hip hop, we are fans of music, and we do have a bunch of fans that would be like, oh, I wouldn't mind to see what, so it might help add tickets. And we don't need money from this. We wanna just go to do the experience. And so we'll take like one, like, three o'clock hour,

just one, like on Saturday, and we'll promote it to help get people there, we'll bring like our fans and we'll pick our artists and then they get the money from the blue note. We don't need the money, we'll just go to have fun. And it'll be fun as fucking shit. And I'm telling you the coolest thing is seeing artists you've never seen. It blew me.

I'm all about discovering new shit. I don't wanna get old. I don't wanna fucking be this old guy that only listens to like fucking Leonard Skinnerd Well, I think you're doing a good job. I'm in a fucking place right now. Can you feel it? There's some stuff going on. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna sober tomorrow. You go sober tomorrow? For a stretch. I'm like five days

Why'd you pick that I'm not five days. It Actually, I'll tell you exactly how it's long. It's gonna be. I'm going sober for 23 days. Oh, that's not five days. No, no, 23 days is the next something's burning. I got a drink on something's burning. If someone wants to have a drink with me. Why are you picking, like, what happens tomorrow

that you're going for 23? Why? I just, I've, honestly, I got all those, I mean, this heartfelt, when we started this, the sleuths who were like, they were just talking about Burt, and I read the comments and they weren't hurtful. They were like, people concerned. And I was like, if that's how people were seeing me,

that's not how I want to be seen. I want to be seen like, Nas. Like, Nas looked great. Like, I want to be seen like Dave Matthews. He looked great when I saw him. And I was like, and I have gained weight and I know my face looks bigger. I got a lot of messages of concern about you

over that you're festival. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I was like, and it wasn't just jokes. Like it was people being like, hey. I mean, those don't bother me, I understand it. You know, it's tough to live my life. It really is tough to live my life. It doesn't stop and I don't bother me, I understand that. You know, it's tough to live my life. It really is tough to live my life. It doesn't stop and I don't get times off.

But I have time the next 23 days off, where that's good, where I don't have to drink. I mean, like, when we do something's burning, if someone wants to have a cocktail, I'll have a cocktail. And so maybe those, in those episodes, they don't drink, so I won't drink. But I'm gonna start tomorrow. But so then it is because you're like,

oh, people are concerned. It's not my drinking, it's my weight. It's like no one's seen me, I'm not, no one's seen me black out drunk. That's not happening, but they are seeing me fat as fucking shit. Like fat, like my face is fat, my stomach's fat, I'm in pretty physically good.

I just did 50 push-ups. Yeah. Again, I'm not unhealthy, but I'm fat as fucking shit. I'm the fatest I've ever fucking been. I'm the fatest I've ever been. You realize then that the eating is definitely is attached tied to the drinking, right? Because when anybody drinks,

well yeah, well, here, no, here's, actually, I can eat good. I've eaten perfect for three days now, but it's pretty strict, I just eat salmon. I just eat salmon, and I drink, and it doesn't bother me, I don't need to eat when I drink, but. But if you're in like a drink like, we're drinking,

usually, being thoughtful about food goes away. No, not for me, really? Really enough, yeah. But, on tour, probably, yes. But not, you know what I got as a reflux, that's what's happening is it's just a bunch of empty calories at the end of the night. It's a couple beers, it's a couple fucking tequila's,

it's a fucking joint, it's, you know,quila's. It's a fucking joint. It's you know, and it's and it's and I cannot eat I just go to bed hungry. I cannot eat, but I definitely fucking cardiologist calling You want to get it? No, please fucking answer it on the fucking Come on, let's just see what they say no, no, no, no, I have appointment. I have appointment in a couple weeks. Please no I have an appointment with them, but yeah, so like, I'm not like, I can eat good. I turned down donuts earlier. Who did? I had salmon for lunch today,

and yesterday I had salmon for dinner last night. I'm good at turning down food. It's just all these empty calories don't allow you to get a dent in the weight loss. And so you're always at a deficit every morning when you wake up and you're also a little hungover and then I go, I'll just push it. And then I do, I'm still not like putting a dent and losing weight.

What do you want to get, do you have a goal you want to get down to? Or no, just I don't, I would, this sounds so crazy. I wouldn't mind being 230. Like 230 sounds skinny right now. 220, I would, 220 is like, I couldn't imagine being 220. I don't know what I'd look like at 220. Well, I do. 220 is what you kind't imagine being 220. I don't know what I looked like at 220. Well, I do. 220 is what you kind of were like around.

Yeah, but my body's so different. It is different. Then now like my body's so fucking, I was, when the last time I was 220, was it so broctober, so broctober. And I couldn't do, I couldn't do 20 pushups. I couldn't do 10 pushups. and I couldn't bench to 20. I got pinned.

So like my body is very different than it was then. I'm in a lot better physical condition, but I'm just fat as fuck. I'm fat as fuck like a, like, I mean, this sounds like they're gonna make fun of this, but like, I feel like a lineman. Like where I go, I'm just really overweight, and I have a lot of weight on me. You're big.

And I'm big, and I fucking just look fucking fat, and I'm now, I went to a size five in my shirts, so like, and now they balloon out, so they look big, and it's like, I stopped denying double-xl, I used to be like on the fence, like, I'm an xl, and then I was like, just give me the double-xl, it's more comfortable. Yeah.

And so, like, I just, I'm done with it. And I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, you think that structure would help you? You know, I'd done I'm done with it. And I'm not, I'm not done with drinking. You think that structure would help you? You know, I'm done with drinking. Oh yeah, I would, no, I'm not done with drinking. I'm gonna drink, I'm gonna drink throughout my life. I gotta get, I gotta get control of my health.

Meaning like, I'm certain I have a fatty liver. I'm certain I have high blood pressure. I'm, I'm on all the pills. You're getting, you're gonna get physicals, right? Oh yeah, I get physicals every six months. I know, I'm just making sure you stay on top of it. Yeah, blood work. I'm on all the pills. You're getting physical. You're gonna get physicals. Right? Oh yeah, physicals every six months. I know. I'm just making sure you stay on top of it. Yeah, blood work. I'm on it. I'm on it. I get I deal with Brigham so he does. Does structure help you? Yeah. Being home. Like I'm jealous of you guys. Like I'm watching the dog get ready for the marathon. I don't mean this like I love my life. I would never trade

my life for anything. I work at the pace I like to work at. I do it for a like, I love my life. I would never trade my life for anything. I work at the pace I like to work at. I do it for a reason. I like working. I like making things and building things. And I love all that. I'm very jealous of Nadav getting to train for this marathon at home and like going like,

it's so easy to manage a life when you live somewhere. Yeah. When you live on a tour bus. It's different. I tell you good. I don't have a gym everywhere I go. I don't have my trainer. Like when I'm at home, my trainer meets me at my gym

at eight in the morning. I'm up. I work out. I go over to the studio. I do a podcast. It's so fucking, it's amazing that like people comment about me from the outside not, and I mean this casually, but not walking in my shoes. And imagining how my life must be.

Like any time that anyone's with me for any minute of any period of time, they're like, how the fuck do you do it? Red Van told me last night, you know what you need to take some time off. And I was like, okay, I was like, sure man. And he was like, no, you do it, Red Van told me last night, you know you need to take some time off and I was like, okay, I was like, sure man. And he was like, no you do. And I was like, I was like, I mean this, I mean this as a friend, but like you have no idea what my life's like, like no idea. I don't mean that like I'm overwhelmed. I'm just saying like I got, I got a lock going on. And so like, I'm just trying to get ahead of all of this.

There is a degree though of truth that you should acknowledge in that statement though. No, no, no, I can't take it back from Redman. No, no, no, I don't love Redman. I don't love Redman. Like, let's take him out of the picture. The degree of truth that I'm talking about, that like one, we all have to have some acceptance

over this at some point, is that ultimately, especially if there's tons that you're committed to tons, you do have to remind yourself. And I'm not saying you, Bert, specifically, we all do this, that you are the one who sets the pace and the commitments. It's about the fact that like, and I think you do struggle with this, I have struggled

with this as well. It's about like having some nose, like, no to this, no to that. I think because you prioritize things that way. When you say yes to everything, you're actually saying no to some of the things you give a shit about because you're eliminating the possibility to do some of the things you care about well because you're saying yes to too many things. If you say yes to everything and we've all done this, you're saying no to some things that you care about and you're saying halfway yes to some of the things you care about

because you're too spread out, and you're too exhausted to do everything well. No, I haven't run into that yet. I mean, I'm achieving at a pretty high level. You're achieving at a high level, but that doesn't mean that it's not... that it can't be a better level of some of the things that you're that you care about most. Yeah, I agree. I agree with that, but at the same time, and I mean this, I hope that I hope people can hear what I'm saying and not just and not just hear what you're saying go because you're right. You're right. You're definitely right. I'm not saying, I'm not saying,

I'm not saying it to be right. I mean, I'm saying it just because, look, I need the reminder too. When I say this thing, that's not about giving love. I would love your pace of life. Well, no, but no, but like, hang on. Well, okay, so like, perfect example. I sign up for the fucking craziest tour.

Yeah, but my tours as crazy and I fly to Austin once a month to do a podcast. And like I, and you're right, I overpacked my schedules. Like we all have a crazy tour. You have your, I wish I didn't have a fear of flying. I wish that was the number one. We said if you're flying, I'm jealous of you. I'm jealous that you fly home sober and you like look at a paper

and you have a coffee on the plane and then you get home and you play with the kids and then you like workout. Like I would love that. But instead I get all worked up when I have to fly. I wish I could get rid of that. I wish I could get rid of that. For me, I have to have the structure when I'm home.

Like when I'm home and I don't get home often. But at the same time, it's like let me ever hang on the last thing I'll say and this is I mean this respectfully but like you have The hope people hear this right you have the luxury of Being wanted young Like you have the luxury of people wanting you when you were younger in the business. Before you guys had kids, you were blowing up. You guys got money before me and Leanne got money.

And we watched you guys, like, just like, we're going to your houses and being like, holy shit. Like when the fuck did this happen? And then you go to the next house, I'm like, you're at the fuck. And you guys were very taking it and pace and all that. Holy shit, when the fuck did this happen? And then you go to the next house, I'm like, you're at the fuck. And you guys were very taking it and pace and all that. But I think I got it later.

So when I got it later, I already had two kids. They were already in middle school. And then all of a sudden, I got all these opportunities that you got presented from say, what, 35 to the rest of your life. I got presented at say, 47, 48 to the rest of your life. I got presented it say 47, 48 to the rest of my life. So I looked at it like, okay, here's what I've always wanted. I never got to do a ball.

I never got to do it. And you knew how bad I wanted to do that. That's my dream. Someone said it to me when the US Open doing the first fully loaded show. Yeah. They're like, can you believe you created this? What was the inspiration behind creating this?

And I said to them candidly, if I didn't create it, no one would ever ask me to do it. Like if I didn't do this, no one was gonna say, hey, we want BERT. Like if I didn't force. So you created the thing you wanted? I created the thing I wanted. If I, and like, when I started doing social media

to promote my shows, it was because no one gave a fuck. And so I was like, I gotta make this happen for B Bert. I need to get behind Bert and make this happen. Whereas you have the luxury of you still Tommy has like, I have like, fucking 20 years of a career to go, that everyone's excited to see, including myself, I am on a fucking timeline, I feel like, where I go, I feel like two-pock, where I go. Well, you're like six, seven years apart in age. I know, but you had to jump on me by another 10 years almost, by like another five years.

So that you feel like you're working on a timeline, right? I feel like I am. I feel like I got fully loaded. I got, I like, specials, like you're still like two specials ahead of me. I'm like, I'm like, here we go. Like I got, I got a fucking right. I got to get on stage.

I got to do stand up. Like I feel like I, the starting one off and I didn't hear it or I wasn't paying attention So I'm like behind and so I pack myself like I watch I mean this Once again, I mean this with love but I watch what you're doing here and it in in why I'm age and it's Not just the shows the shows are fucking awesome, but what you're doing as a business is so inspiring. But you gotta remember, I'm just getting inspired. You were inspired by someone fucking five years ago that I did not see that happen for.

And so then I just started my production company. You've had YMH for fucking, I remember when you told me, I'm gonna start taking this seriously. And I remember going like, what, like the podcast? Like I didn't get it. So I'm always late to the party. And when remember going like, what? Like the podcast? Like I didn't get it. So I'm always late to the party. And when I show up at the party, I feel like, I feel like this is a great analogy.

I'm always late to the party. I feel like everyone's been drinking and I gotta catch up. And so I'm doing shots and I'm snorting coke and I'm smoking weed. And then maybe sometimes it looks like I'm out of control. But like I feel like, I feel like taking these days off. I wake up going, I wake up going, I'm not doing shit with my life.

I feel like everything that you're saying makes tons of sense, and I totally understand everything that you mean very clearly. But I think even you just saying it, part of your brain has to also understand that you don't have to view it exactly that way. Like, it's almost like you can see why you're seeing it that way. But you also get that like, if you don't do everything in the next two months,

you can spread some of that stuff out over six months and have a pace that is more enjoyable to your life and to your health. And I think I feel like some of that still has to register to you. You know that that you know that it doesn't have to be like this all the time, all the time, all the time. It does not have to be like this all the time. And to be honest with you, the reason I'm taking so much time off right now is because both girls are home for the summer.

And I'm spending time with them and I'm trying to enjoy it. I do have this inner voice that, I do have this inner voice that when I wake up, if I don't have like a semi-busy day, like I semi-like, at least like a podcast, or I feel like I'm not doing anything with my life. Where I go, I'm just wasting, what am I just gonna sit here?

Like I feel like I'm wasting my time. We're the same with the last. We're very similar. I think I'm starting wasting, what am I just gonna sit here? Like, I feel like I'm wasting my time. We're the same with the last. We're very similar. I think I'm starting to realize how similar we are the more we know each other. Cause I always thought, I always thought you were the, I don't give a fuck guy. Like just like, I'm gonna fuck.

Like, and just like, things will happen. And then I see you, bust in your ass to get deals done. And I go like, yeah, I definitely go. And I'm the same way I mean Christina is always like can you just she what did she say to me? She goes I just get home from a tour And she's like we're doing tomorrow. I go well tomorrow. I'm gonna do this I'm gonna go fly helicopter I'm gonna work out and she's like can you just be?

Like I can't just be I can't just enjoy the day Yeah, I'm gonna be the day she goes let's sit on the porch and read a book. I go, I read a book about me. You want me to read my book about me? I'll do that. In my intoms book, I'll read his book. I'm not gonna fucking sit there and read a fucking Huck Finn novel.

Yeah. I was like, I just don't get it. This is by the way, this is like my, it's like also, also, how can you say this, right? Like this is any, I'm speaking for you viewers and I apologize to speak for you. I don't try not to do that. Any one of these motherfuckers watch him would be like, you know, if you told me I was burning the candle at both ends, but I got to hang out with Tom so we're gonna like fucking four, four times

in two days every month and do a podcast that a lot of people liked, they go, yeah, I'll push it a little harder. That was my whole mindset. When you moved to Austin, I was like, I was like, man, I love the podcast. I'll push it a little harder. I'll burn it a little harder.

I'll fucking, I don't mind it. I love the fucking conversations we have. I love the fucking conversations. We have, I love the fucking creative conversations we have in that office. I love all of that shit. Inspires me. I love doing push-ups against Annie. I love that Nidolves run in a marathon.

I wanna fucking run it with him. Like you're going to? I wish I could. I don't know. I'll check with the end. I think you said you're, I'm supposed to take time off. No, not just that, but aren't you doing something like that day?

No, I'm doing a cruise. My cruise, there's a wait list. My cruise October 27th, 29th, this year, out of Miami. I cannot believe you're doing a cruise. I'm doing a cruise, I'm doing Red Rocks, I got a rena tour. I'm like, I do it, but you know how I feel. I love it, I love it, I love it, and I love all of it.

I love all of it. I love thinking of promos for the top-soft tour. I love thinking of, I love the creativity. I love the creativity. And so Leanne said, I've already texted her about it in a dove. So Leanne has a vacation playing for us after the cruise. Oh, okay. That's why.

And I was like, well, when's it at? She is like, well, technically we're just there up until you birthday. The November 3rd. Yeah. But I think we can stay until the 5th. And I went, so if we stay until the 5th, can I go to New York to 6? Okay, then the North of 6 and run the, because I know that if I have a goal like the dog does, I'll work hard towards that goal.

I know you. And then, and so she was like, well, hold on. I, what if we want to do something after that and so she was like, well, hold on. I, what if we want to do something after that? And I was like, well, you want to go to New York? She's like, for what? I go to the, the New York marathon. And she's like, hold on.

Why, why do you all suddenly run the New York marathon? And she can just see it in my head cause I go, yeah. That's good promo. Yeah, that's good promo. I'm fucking running the New York marathon. It's fun. It's fun. It's good on the Instagram. It's, I don't know. It's on November 5th, it's a good promo. I'm fucking around the New York Marathon. It's fun. It's fun.

It's good on the Instagram. It's, I don't know. It's on November 5th. Yeah. Yes, sir. Let me check my dog. And here's the other thing that I think will definitely make you do it. There's no fucking way you could do the New York City Marathon. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah. Yeah. Fuckin' fifth year old fat ass. Come on. Dip shit.

There's no fucking way you could do that. Those days are past you. Good luck, Nadav. You'll be alone. That was a great episode. Yeah, it was fun. This was fun, this was fun. All right. All right, I'm flying back to LA.

Love you, thanks for coming. I love you way more. It was fun. I love you way more. I love you way fucking more. You stop. You stop. You're the only one who's gonna be the best.

You're the only one who's gonna be the best. You're the only one who's gonna be the best. You're the only one who's gonna be the best. You're the only one who's gonna be the best. You're the only one who's gonna be the best. You're the only one who's gonna be the best. You're the only one who's gonna be the best. Alright, I'm flying back to LA. Love you, thanks for coming. I love you way more. I love you way more. I love you way fucking more. You always say this shit. Thank you guys for watching.

Thank you for listening. Bye bye. This is shirt Tom tells stories and birds the machine There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep clean Here's what we call, two bears one cave