2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Tackling The Tom Brady Roast w/ Jimmy Carr | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

Jimmy Carr returns to Netflix with his latest stand-up special Jimmy Carr: Natural Born Killer out now. Jimmy’s brand-new international tour Jimmy Carr: Laughs Funny and his double headline show with Jim Jefferies, The Charm Offensive Tour are on sale now. For tickets and info visit http://jimmycarr.com. Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@jimmycarr Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jimmycarr Threads: https://www.threads.net/@jimmycarr Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/jimmycarr SPONSORS: Head to http://policygenius.com/BEARS to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Visit https://Shopify.com/bears to sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period. Go to http://liquiddeath.com/BEARS to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer. Your summer wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off AT Chubbies with the code BEARS at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/BEARS We're back with another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are fresh off a gig roasting Tom Brady on Netflix and they tell the story of how they got there and how challenging it was being a last minute addition to the show. Jimmy Carr joins them and offers his more posh take on the festivities as well. They also talk about Nikki Glaser's performance, Rob Gronkowski, the sensibilities of being Irish and English, the joy of comedy, and getting laughs in different languages. https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 236 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

100% Jimmy Carl be here on 15. Let's start the episode. Let's start the episode. We saw Jimmy Carr. We saw Jimmy Carr last night He scared the fuck out of me Saturday Saturday Saturday, I saw him at the big Netflix party. Yeah, no this week is Netflix is a roast Netflix is a joke Yeah, yeah, we did the roast but it was it is Netflix is a joke. We're gonna talk about the roast today We'll talk about the roast because he's a roast master for sure and he was there not in the roast But he was in the audience. I was looking at him a lot always very well-dressed I'm sure he's gonna show up just sharp as can be

That's what do you want to connect before we get into the roast stuff? Can we talk about Jimmy Carr? Sure, do you know much about his story? I don't know if we're allowed to talk about this I don't know like I don't know. I don't to talk about this. I don't know like I don't know I don't know him very well. I remember you remember when we met him? When we met him in Montreal. How do you say it? Montreal. You're saying it wrong. Well that's how you say it for them. Yeah we're Americans. I know but we're saying it. And if they want us to not take it from them, then we'll say it our way. Montreal. Montreal. Well we were in Montreal for the...

Was it Melbourne? Melbourne. Melbourne. It's Melbourne. Is it Ibiza? No, it's Ibiza. Crowd loved when I did Spanish, by the way. Yeah, they did.

That was a surprise. I did not expect that. I think they thought it was like a fucking parlor trick. He's like a, we met him in Montreal. Yeah. And he walked into the room. I just realized you could also do Montreal. Montreal. Montreal.

I hate when they talk French. When they talk French? Yeah. It's their first language there. No, it's not. No, no, no, it's not. In Montreal it is. They talk French the same way you talk Spanish. They can talk French. Some of them speak poor English. Bull, yeah, because they're lazy.

That could be argued, but it's first language is French. If your sister only spoke Spanish, you'd be like, you don't get out enough, you just hang out with mom. That's true. That's who they are. Well, they're not getting out of it. They're Jane. Their city.

Their city is French. I want to party with your sister so bad. Jane and Maria. With you, both of them, with you, with you. I just partied, well, I just hung out with Jane and my mom, they came to the show in Canada. Do you know we were planning a surprise party for you? When? For your birthday. For my birthday? Yeah, we were were planning a surprise party for you? When?

For your birthday. For my birthday? Yeah, we were gonna plan a surprise party for you. And I, and cause I think Maria was like, oh, it'll drive him crazy. Yeah. And I was like, oh. Yeah, so how's that fun though?

I'm going, if I show up, it'll make him out of his fucking mind. But how would that be a good thing? Cause it was for us. Yeah, exactly. Yes. We should go on a family trip. You with my family?

Yeah, you know, me, no, I, no, I was going to take my family too. My family, let's do a cruise. My family and your family. I bring my sisters and you bring your sisters and you're, and you bring your mom and bring my dad and my mom. Oh, it'd be so much fun. For who? For me. I'd love it. For who? For me.

I'd love it. I would fucking love it. Oh my God. All right, let's get back to Montreux. Well, I'll tell you this. Jane and my mom were like, my mom was like trying to take blankets from the fucking hotel and she's like, you know, all she's like, I'm taking this. I'm like, you can't take it, it doesn't belong to you.

And she's like, can I take this cup? And I'm like, no. And she goes, can you buy it? you. And she's like, can I take this cup? And I'm like, no. And she goes, can you buy it? I go, no, it's not for sale. It's a fucking cup. It's like, it's the coffee cup in the room. And she was like, why can't I take it? Cause it's not yours, it belongs to this property.

And she was like, they have other ones. I go, that's not how this works. You sound like a fucking child. Like this is what a toddler would think. This is my impression of my mom hanging out with your mom, okay? Yeah. You talk like your mom and I'll be my mom. It's like, it's so nice to meet you.

It's so nice to meet you too. It's so nice to meet you too. Yeah, Jace. Okay. Jace. Oh, it's nice to... She's got a funny accent. That's what your mom would say?

Yeah. She's done that. She's done that before like we went to an Italian restaurant and the guy goes, Hey, would you like a little of it? You know, my dad, my mom goes, I'd like a little spaghetti. I go, Mom, what the fuck are you doing? She goes, they like it. They like it. Sure. I feel like we've got more comfort I told you the story about the Italian guy right at the restaurant. No, I didn't tell you this

No a few months back. I never told you this no When I walked in to this Italian restaurant the guy it was in Jersey and he was tan Black hair spiked with gel like up here, it looked like real Jersey shore shit. And he looked like a Southern Italian guy, right? And he was like, and I was like, oh, Jesus Christ. And he was super theatrical. And so we sit down and he cuts And he was super theatrical. And so we sit down and he cuts fresh, uh, Pecorino and he puts it on the plate and he's like, prego, prego, bravo, prego. I was like, this fucking guy is just off the boat, you know?

And he's like, we have this most amazing bucatini and la marciana. Today we have a spaghetti a bolognese is going to make your fucking asshole shit is so good in Branzino. it flies in from the Mediterranean, it's incredible. And so he walks away. You're in this character by the way. Well, I mean, it was so dramatic. He walks away, we're like, this fucking guy is amazing. So I had been at the time doing Italian on multiple apps on my phone for like, I don't know, probably nine months

or a year. So I mean, super elementary, but like, you know, I have basic things down. So I'm like, I mean, I'm nervous, but I'm like, I want to, you know, the one thing you miss with apps is like conversation. So like he walks up and I was like, he comes back and I was like, yeah, I'm going to get the bucatini and then I go, uh, oh, family. He goes, I go off off on the EO or family. And he goes,

and I was like, I'm hungry. And he goes, but I will. And he like walks away and I was like, what the fuck? So then I look it up. I'm like, maybe I said it all wrong. And I said it completely right. So I was like, that's fucking weird. So he comes back and I was like, huh. I go, so where are you from? And he goes, Salvatore.

I go, Salvatore. I go, is that like a village? He's like, no. And I go, where is that? He's like, no. And I go, where is that? He's like, in Central. I go, Central, like Central of Italy? He's like, no, Central of America. And I go, are you from El Salvador?

And he goes, yeah. And I go, oh, so you're not Italian. And he goes, no, prego. And he just walks away. I was like, it's a fucking full Italian act that he does. Can I tell you, we talked about this on a podcast and it's, it bothered me that it's something we talked about on a podcast that I can't figure out why I do it. What?

Is I would have never tried to call him on it. I just would have let Santa Claus be real. Oh yeah. I would like, and there are certain people that call, that go, hold just would have let Santa Claus be real. Oh yeah. I would have, like, and there are certain people that go, hold on, what the fuck's happening? Well I didn't, I didn't humiliate him. I just was like, I was perplexed at why he didn't understand my simple Italian phrase. And I was like, this is, and I wasn't guessing that he wasn't Italian at first. I was just like, oh I must be saying this like a fucking moron.

You could have spoken Spanish more perfectly. Yeah. But the best is that when he came back, after I had done that thing, he stayed 100% Italian. He spoke English with an Italian person's inflection. You know, he didn't say it like a Spanish person. He kept saying all the, yeah, you want this, this, this lovely and bellissimo. Oh, it's like the way Schultz starts to stand up. Love you, Andrew.

We're talking about The Roast. We were with Andrew last night. We love Andrew. I love the best. I love that. I won't want to out the dude, but one of the guys we were with was like, who is that guy? I said Andrew Schultz. He's like, oh, he's the white guy the old black guys love.

It's true. Yeah. It's true. He had fucking 50 cent at his MSG show. Unbelievable. I mean, and you know, he didn the white guy the old black guys love. It's true. Yeah. It's true. He had fucking 50 cent at his MSG show. Unbelievable. I mean, and you know, he didn't pay for it. No. 50 cent showed up out of love.

50 cent loves him. That's fucking wild, man. So he was fun. He was fun to be fun with. Like he celebrates things. He was great. He was great. So this is what I know about Jimmy Carr.

Okay. Yeah. We meet him Jimmy Carr, okay? Yeah. We meet him in Montreux. Yeah. And he's doing a guest set on one of the shows we're showcasing on. Or no, me and Push were. You were doing other shows. Me and Push were.

You were backstage with Push. And Jimmy Carr goes, can I just hop in and try some jokes? And they're like, yeah, of course. And you said, Google his net worth. I did? Yep, and I Googled his net worth, and as it was on my phone, you leaned over and he goes,

he's still hustling to do guest sets. He does not need to do any of this. He has a show, Six Out Of Eight Cats. That's the name of the show? Go look at Jimmy Carr real quick. He's got a big show, he's got a big TV show. He got in trouble for getting, he got canceled for a fucking joke.

Did you see his response to the joke? To people getting canceled? Listen, this guy always has the sharpest, wittiest, darkest jokes. He's the fucking smartest, funniest, darkest. He's a really, really funny guy, man. We had him on Your Mom's House. Oh, for real?

Yeah, he was fucking incredible. He was great. Jimmy's the guy that you can bring up any topic and he's going to know something about the history Go to his Wikipedia his he's got a show. Okay, it's a very most popular show in Britain right now. Yeah, it's been forever. It's called Eight or nine cats or something eight or nine cats. We don't get it here So I don't watch it. Okay, but it's like a very very popular show All right, can you just find the name of the goddamn show? It's right there, eight out of 10 cats. I was right.

That's since 2005. Well, yeah, I think the pandemic probably shut down production. But he is super, the cool thing, I don't know if he'll say this on the podcast, but I'll say it and we can never bring it up. I was at the party, I was at the big, I was at a, I don't know, maybe I can't remember

if my memories are real or not, so like, but someone was getting ready to do the roast and they had their set list, all their jokes, and he said, let me take a look at that. And he grabbed their list, I don't know why, move this, and he took his pen and he changed their set and he goes, there you go, and it's the set they delivered and it fucking destroyed me. Because he just went set and he goes, there you go. And it's the set they delivered and it fucking destroyed.

Cause he just went through, he's a fucking tactician. He's a fucking smart guy. Very, very sharp dude. Do you feel like he grew up wearing knee high socks and like short maroon pants? It sure feels like he should have, yeah. Would you be shocked? He's the kid who I picture saying when he was a kid,

he's like, mommy, if I do it right, can I have some more porridge? And then she's like, you may. And then he does the thing and then she gives him like another bowl. And then he's like, Jimmy has another bowl of porridge for himself. Mommy, can I take my tea to the meadow? Exactly. I'll have my tea in the meadow today. That's exactly what it feels like.

He said he had a great joke. I want him to say what he did, but he had a great joke about, oh, so you can understand that I didn't mean that. Have you seen his defense of that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really brilliant of like, he's a real like freedom of speech guy,

which is crazy in their country. I don't think they have freedom of speech. I don't know the laws. Well, we'll find out soon. Yeah. We should do all our interviews like this Well, we'll find out soon. Yeah. We should do all our interviews like this, where we do a pre-interview to me and you, and then they come down and people are like,

And we listen to all your assumptions about them. Yeah. And then we check if any of them are true. I felt like he grew, he, when I think of Jimmy Carr, I think of oil rigs, I think of Saudi Arabia, I think of him talking to sheiks and brokering deals.

And then him going, this isn't for me no more. I think I want to try stand up. Definitely, that is very good. He's got a posh accent. Yeah, that wasn't though. No, that's not? What you just did was not posh, no. All right, all right.

Yeah, that's kind of like the dock worker. I kept saying to him I kept saying to him This is the best. I hope we talk talk about this. He was with Leanne. Leanne was fucking wasted last night Yeah, and I was trying to he couldn't understand her totally because she was so drunk and redneck and Shane Gillis kept going You do not do a bad accent of her on stage. You're doing a very accurate accent. I go, I fucking know. She's like, shut up, Shane. He's a bully. And then I go, Jimmy, do you sense a little bit of Scottish?

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And you go. I said, yes, we're both in. And I go, no. You said, absolutely not. I go, no. You were like, there's nothing we can win out of this. Yeah, I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, we've never been on roast,

we're not roasters or anything. But then they said, we're trying something different, where we want you guys to do it together. And even then I was like, you mean like, just go to the podium together and roast together? And they were like, no, we wanna do like, we're thinking of like trying something that we've never done before.

I think they wanted a sports center thing first. Yeah, yeah. And we were like, no, I gotta give flowers. I gave them to you last night. I'll give them to everyone. Yeah, well, everyone. You said no, and you said, you called me and you said, we're not saying yes yet.

We're gonna have a meeting with Netflix. We're gonna talk through with the writers. Yeah. And with the producers. So we got on a thing, and in a 30 minute Zoom call, I spoke zero, which I think everyone will find shocking. Yeah, that's true.

And you talked the whole time and you had a million questions of things, angles you liked, angles you wanted to do, things you were cool to do. You liked the multimedia presentation. You liked it being different than everyone else's. Yeah. Cause you're like, and you can't really draw a comparison cause it's apples and oranges.

So we can succeed on our own or fail on our own. Yeah. And then at the end you were like, bird, do you have any, do you have anything to say? And I said, I said, yes, Thursday. Yeah. That's exactly what you said. I said, yes, Thursday. I said yes before we had any idea of what we were doing.

Yeah. Then you wrote a script. Yeah. You pitched your idea to me and Mike, I think. Yeah, that's true. And maybe I gave a couple ideas, but not a ton. And you came up with a script, you wrote a script, sent it over to Mike and me.

I read it, loved it, talked to Mike, kind of punched it up, gave it to the writers. The writers punched it up a little bit. But writers punch it up a lot, I gotta say. The writers on that, and the writers, Ray, Pat. Sarah Tiana. Sarah Tiana. Mikeiana, Mike Lawrence, Mike Gibbons, Jeff Ross, all the people that worked on that roast, and I'm sure I'm leaving people out,

were fucking phenomenal and with us every step of the way. And they were pivotal in some of our favorite moments in that roast. So the way we looked at it was like, we were kind of doing almost like a weekend update thing where we comment and we have Images which was I thought a fun way to do it. It was and it turned out it turned out really fun Let's talk about the drama going into it. Well, yeah, well, let's talk about this

So then that they were like, well we have you have to be at the rehearsal Saturday and I was like I have a Cincinnati show Saturday like a big-ass show. I can't move it. Well, when can you get here? I'm like, fucking after the show. They're like, well, then you'll miss rehearsal. And I'm like, I don't know what to tell you. So I zoomed in, I would watch the feed and then I watched you with a stand in go through rehearsal and we had changes in that, changing images. It was, but it was, I gotta say, it was very exciting. Ladies and gentlemen, Jimmy Carr. Jimmy Carr, my redneck wife. What'd I tell you? Sit down right here. Good, buddy. Thank you.

Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. He was, well, we were just getting to that. First of all, he was, he just did an amazing impression of you Yeah Yes, thank you, um, yes, I might you're not one of those cuck thing is this gonna happen Thank you to what else I enjoy? These two last night drunk were fucking awesome. Yeah. With Jane Gillis in the mix, it was the fucking craziest night.

That was one of the kind of legendary, that's one of the best nights I've ever had at the Comedy Store. And I've had some great nights there. Yeah. It was such a brilliant, like in the OR, John Mulaney went up and just killed. And then Mark Norman went up, Chappelle went up. It was then me. Wow. Yeah. Pretty great. Then this guy. Yeah, and you. Yeah. We were just talking. We were giving you a lot of props. Ladies and gentlemen, let's calm ourselves

down. Yes. With this guy. Yeah. No. What did you want to do? Your impression of Jimmy for him? No. What did you want to do? Your impression of Jimmy for him? Hello, mummy. I would like to take my spot of tea at the Meadow today. Right. So you've not watched a lot of Downton Abbey, but quite a lot of Guy Ritchie films. I have, I have. I've only watched Guy Ritchie. Yes. No, no. He's like, he goes, he said, he goes, Jimmy has a bit of a posh accent. I go, that wasn't posh. What you just did. No.

I mean, who thought it was going to be? It's the craziness. Yeah. What are you craziness? So wait, let's talk about the roast for a little bit. Okay. I am dying to deep dive you. Because like, you are one of the most elusive, mysterious...

More lube. Yeah. The mysterious and elusive. Yeah, because when we met you, how do you say the city that they do the festival in Canada? The comedy festival. I forget the name. Montreal. How do you say it?

Montreal. Okay. It's Montreal. Montreal! We'll take it. It's Montreal. It's Montreal. I gave him the Canadian pronunciation, which is Montreal and he got very upset. So you know. Okay.

You'll both sound exactly the same to me, but fine. Montreal. So we first met you probably seven years ago, eight years ago in Montreal. And we were fascinated that you were a person who had already accomplished things in life, but were still hungry to get on mics. Like you were still showing up and going, can I get on the stage? And I remember both of us were like, he doesn't need to be here. Like you were elusive to us.

We were all broke kids trying to get money, and you were someone that was not looking for money. You were looking, you enjoyed stand up, the artist stand up. Yeah, it's the, I suppose it's that thing of like, there's no equivalent for the gym time, right? Right. You only learn on stage. You only, you know, you can sort of, you, God, Jerry Seinfeld did a thing the other

day. It was like, he did the blocks thing with Neil Brennan. Yeah. It's like a masterclass. Really? But I mean, he was kind of talking about the idea that you get paid, you work during the day and you collect the money at night. Yeah.

I think it might be Chris Rock's line originally, but they, you collect, so you work and kind of on these things and then you have to try them in front of all these, you just don't know what's going to hit. And because your stuff is so methodical, calculated, like it's all very crisp and pointed, you know, the setup, like it's very, very sharp. I imagine that you are a pen to paper person doing this, right? Like there's no way that it doesn't feel like loose when you do it. Yeah, but it's weird when you start in comedy, like all the stuff that I loved was really

loose storytelling. Yeah. And then I can't, I don't have that. I've got a fastball and then I'm trying to expand. The thing that I've been doing the last couple of years, the last special, trying to expand that kind of slightly longer bits. Because I love it when other people do it. Sure.

Thank you. But I do. I mean, you know, I love that thing of like going, the idea of going out there with, you know, one story and doing an hour. That'll last me 20 seconds. I have one story and I've done 25 years. That was the best joke. I tell you what I loved. The improv, you know, that history, the improv thing where you did the original set that you did the foot when you got Past yeah, how is fantastic? I just loved it because you could sort of see the written Yeah, kind of the origins kind of that thing of like when you see someone the great thing about our job

Is you kind of get better as you got like no one that I love in comedy Everyone does the best work in their 50s Many times isn't that And like some guys. That's inspiring too. I think so. Especially if you're looking at your 50s, you go like, oh that's when everyone's at their best. Yeah.

And it's that thing of like you go, you kind of, you get better at the craftsmanship of it. Like being good at something and like working at it and I don't know. It's like, it's really fun to get up. I mean, I found that the roast last night, I had such a brilliant time. Did you? Because for me, I was trying to reverse engineer anything about American football. So I was going, Tom Brady's like, nothing to me. I mean, he's very handsome, but I'm not a gay guy, despite being European.

And he's a footballer and he's one of the quarterbacks. Oh, fabulous. It didn't mean anything to me. So I'm trying to reverse engineer the jokes in my head and going, oh, that must mean that guy was a counter. I could do it. What was your favorite joke from the night last night? Nikki Glazes. Nikki Glazes, to you, I really, I'm a huge fan of your joke. Made me laugh for, I would say, I'm still laughing at it now. It's so good.

Yeah. It was really good. But I mean, there was a few incredibly good lines. There was so many good lines. Her set, I thought was just a... That was a master class set in roasting. Yeah. Like it was perfectly done.

I wouldn't change the lines, the cadence, the pot. Everything, it was just structurally, everything was perfect about it. It was fantastic. Tony, I had this thing where I was like, we've been around Tony for so long and Tony basically lives in roast mode. He's somebody who, a lot like you, where the jokes just keep, so you sit with Tony in the green room or you go to lunch with Tony and he is like, he's just always roasting people, right?

Like when I was in Montreal, when I first met Tony, he was like, it was roast battle. It was that year. Yeah, yeah. And he was just like hanging out, like pitching ideas constantly just being around. Like we've been around him so much. I think it's often that thing though with your friends where you're around them and you see them and then suddenly they do something like that and you go, well, I knew he was capable of that.

Yeah. But I think America just found out. That's exactly right. Even the Kill Tony thing is like, I mean, it's selling out Madison Square Garden. It's doing great. It's amazing. But I think like the name recognition and the respect, I think it just happened last night. I think so too. I mean, when he sat down next to me, I was like, this is so cool that we've

watched you for years be great at this and then you just got you had an opportunity and you just knocked it out of the park like everybody saw the brass neck of him to make jokes about being short the brass neck. What is he four foot two? Yeah, he's not a big man. His joke about me. It looks like the liver King met the burger king and has the liver of Rodney King got beat up by Martin Luther, whatever the fuck, I came and did his joke.

I was like, God damn it. That was amazing. My only thing, my only take back, and if you watch this special, it's super enjoyable, is I read everyone's jokes as they were doing them because I was reading the prompter so the whole you're saying this because you think we don't know that oh no no we saw it oh seriously yeah oh no I was going to inquire as to your reading age when I got here I think you're really coming along I just saw the clip of Bert and with Tony doing it Bert's going yeah It looks like he's praying. It looks like he's quietly praying.

Hope it goes okay. Hope it goes okay. Cause I would say like, I was watching and there's a bit of you that watches and you know, from the audience there's a comment going, that's good. That's good. That's great line. Okay. You know, you're kind of, you're kind of analyzing. I think I wish it was up there and I was thinking, oh my God, it must be so hard when you're sat there and someone's just eviscerated. And then you kind of, we've got another half an hour to wait. We said that. We said that. When Nicky was up, it goes, Kevin, Jeff, Drew Bledsoe who fucking murdered, Nicky destroys. And Tom and I looked at each other and Tom goes, we're going to bomb. And because our thing wasn't what everyone else was doing.

And people don't know that. They didn't know that we weren't asked to like roast traditionally. We were asked to do this different thing and I was like, I don't know if this is gonna be well received. Like the monitor. It was great because it's like, as you're watching it as a punter, like in the audience, you go, yeah, it's like a different speed. And it's a very long show. So actually doing something that's a different, and you know, like, so you're watching the roasting for like, you know, an hour and you go, well, everything's been hit on. We understand his wife has gone and he lost some money in Bitcoin.

And then you go, it's nice to have a little, okay, there's another thing. Like a little palate cleanser. The great line, it's really helped me understand my wife. Oh yeah. Psychopathic. That got a really big laugh. Not from your wife, I would imagine. That got a big fucking laugh.

She liked it. You know who got no, you probably didn't see it. You know who did the best job of the night? And no one knows? Alonzo Boden. Really? Alonzo did the warm up. I was sitting with Shane Gillis and we both kind of went, this is an impossible gig.

There's 20,000 people in the arena, everyone's up and chatting and no one is, the room is so unfocused. And he came on and he did material and he, I mean, he's such a pro. He just got them. He's a beast and it's all new stuff. The stuff I know, but I know him very well. But like that was before they even started doing the thing. But like the setup was so right.

Yeah. And I got to say like, you know, when you host the thing too, you can kind of be personality versus material. I thought Kevin fucking killed. You know what I mean? Like he had great material, he had great energy. He always kept it fun and funny. He would kind of- He's just a very generous always kept it fun and funny. He would kind of...

He's just a very generous laughter as well. He's got that infectious... He was great. And he's a legit goddamn movie star. Yeah. Not like one machine movie. That didn't count. Like a proper...

Yeah, yeah. No, proper general release. Like people went to see it, they bought tickets. Yes, yes. It's like a real movie. Yeah. Not... Real revenue.

Yes. Not like... Whatever. You made a thing for YouTube. Not that. Yeah. Not real revenue. Yes. Not like whatever. You made a thing for YouTube. Not that. Yes. A real one. Yes. It was a real deal.

I was reading his prompter and he would go off. Yes, we know. It was on television. I know. He would go off book and I was getting nervous for the prompter guy because you'd see the prompter guy scroll and then scroll back Yeah, scroll back and back and back Kevin would come back and hit the thing that was on the screen. He was Kevin murdered He was great. He was really great. But when when Nikki went up, we thought we were gonna bomb and then God bless Kim Kardashian

Yeah, I didn't understand that first I thought like were they booing the concept of Hollywood they kind of were it's It's what they were booing, because this is one thing we figured out. I don't know if it registered to you, that that audience, they were football fans. They were Tom Brady and professional football fans. When comedians walked out initially, you know, at most comedy events, people know the comedians. Comedians got like nothing. Yeah, mostly when they do a roast. It's in a hotel ballroom, not an arena. I know. Like on a Sunday afternoon.

They were there. I mean, this Tom Brady guy is pretty famous. Yeah, he's pretty famous. They were there for Tom and for Patriots and for football players. And so that was like a thing that I picked up on. I was like, oh, they're... And also like the way they reacted to jokes. And I think she symbolized everything that fan base kind of hates. Right? And so... I thought she did pretty well. I've got to say, like, I think she's good news. This is why, this was something that I kept noticing too, because in seeing Promptr and

watching all the acts, one of the things that you pick up on was the people that didn't do well, and there were a few that like, it was, I'm saying like the regular roasting, was it wasn't because of them or the material, it's that they kept going off script. Cause we would read with them.

Trying to make it casual. Yeah, commit to the bit. They would read like the top line and you're like, okay. And they don't realize, see we know how important economy of words and like you gotta say this before, this is the connective tissue to that. And they would go first line

and then I would watch them like riff on that and then try to pick up and you're like, yeah, it doesn't work like that. You have to stick to the whole thing for the thing at the end to pay off. Yeah. I thought, I thought Kim Kardashian did a great job. I mean, that joke about the, I wouldn't have told anyone. The reason, the reason I think she was able to, because she ended up getting a big couple of big pops is because she stayed in the pocket. So to get booed like that and to just sit with it. Yes.

Okay. And then to do it, the confidence. Yeah, yeah. Like to get booed by that many people, it's like most people would crumble. Of course. Most people would athleck. Which is where, it's an industry term, it's where you get dry mouth and you can't, your veneers stick to your lips and you can't

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I was convinced. I was ashamed going, I'll tell you what's going to happen. He's going to do this bit about a guy talking shit online and the guy's going to be Matt Damon and he's going to be in the audience and then they're going to do a bit together because otherwise this would be insane. And then he walked off and I went, well, I was wrong about that. Yeah, yeah. But that's more to my point is that he was completely jumping off of that script, man. Like, he would stay, he would get the gist of it and then just, we were like reading it.

We're like, why is he jumping off? And then it would go worse and then he would just jump ahead to the next thing. So he, I don't know if it was nerves or like, or the fact like we're so used to do it. Maybe also he passed on rehearsal and didn't want to come to that or something. But that's why... I think he probably didn't want to come to rehearsal because he didn't want to be roasted. Maybe. So it's that thing. Did they tell you Kim Kardashian was going to be there?

I knew it because I went to rehearsal and I saw her face on a picture. You rehearsed because watching it you wouldn't think. That doesn't come across. Can I tell you, I killed it in rehearsal and then when we did our rehearsal that morning, I stumbled on a couple lines and I was like, mother fucker, I've done this. I've hosted so many TV shows. I'm fine with Promptor, but I was like, what the fuck? And I realized when we started the bit that there were so many laughs in between that you didn't have to run through it. That you could take your time and say the sentence. And I was like, oh,

when we got our first laugh, I went, okay, I don't, I have to wait for the laughter to end to say my next line. And it's a, it's a long laugh in that room as well. Cause it's a big room. I don't know if you used to be groomed, but it's a big room. I did think like as an event, it was such a great thing to be at. Yeah. It was just kind of. It was a fun thing. It was long as shit, Jimmy.

When we were like, wait, okay. And then when I found out we were at least front load, like we were in the first part of the show, I was like, great. But then sitting there for another two fucking hours. Also you go, Ron Burgundy's just been on. Oh man. Who's going on after that? Yeah.

That's... Bill Belichick. Yeah. And he kind of did follow that. He murdered. He's not the only patriot that murdered. Again, I had to properly reverse engineer. Oh yes, the man with the, yes, he was a bit murdering. He was. Yeah. And that's frowned upon. Yes, it is. I was wondering if you, what, because some people mug when they say jokes, some people don't, some people are very dry.

And Bill Belichick was so dry that I was like, that is a comedy style in and of itself. He was like- He was as dry as Mickey Glaze's vagina. He was like Bob Newhart style. Yeah. Like he was like, all right. Someone told me a thing about Bob Newhart style. Yeah. Like he was like... Someone told me a thing about Bob Newhart recently that kind of blew my mind. The button-down comedy of Bob Newhart.

He was working in an office. That was his second time. I think it was his first time doing comedy as the recording of the album. What? Yeah. He'd never done comedy. He wrote this thing. He went to a place and performed it. They taped it and they put it out. It blew my mind. Like it's like... Is that not insane? I mean people probably don't... It's a weird thing. I always think like everything goes back into the pop with comedy. Like people don't particularly revere or remember people from a bygone age, but Bob Newhart was just fantastic. Fantastic. Really?

But that first record apparently had that look before. That was just fantastic. Fantastic. Really? Yeah. But that first record apparently had that look before. That's really amazing. Yeah. That's amazing. Well, I should post my first time doing a stand up. Maybe I'll... Yeah.

Man, it was so bad. No, that's... My first joke that worked was about jerking off in a cheeseburger. Into one? No, with one. I put it around my dick and jerked off with a cheeseburger around my dick. Okay. And that was like a big cheeseburger around my dick. Okay. And that was like a big...

That was my closer. That was your closer? I was just... I didn't know what stand-up was, so I just was like telling the most revealing stories I could about myself. Yeah. And... Did they make you leave in and out? No, but I took...

They shouldn't have called it in and out if they didn't want people to do that. Hahaha! Dude, you talk about animal style. Hahaha! You're so good. None of these are in my bit. Yeah. I said no, Mayo. I mean, how much of a problem do you have with food before you fuck a burger?

I mean, I'm not a psychiatrist, but that feels like this is the conversation before the intervention. Right? Oh, I love food. No, no. You don't understand. Maybe I won't post it. Wait, what was your first set like? It was, it was all right.

I mean, it was a weird thing where you go, I think before. Set the scene, set the scene. Because I know you were a corporate guy. Yeah I was working kind of in an office. I kind of fell into this job in marketing for a big oil company. And I was kind of really depressed. Yeah but you also like you were the runner of the company. No no no but I go when I think of Jimmy Carr I think of big oil rigs and Saudi sheiks and like BP and like fucking handshakes and Veraris and nice watches and then is that real? I mean, I always think that thing in life, like the good is the enemy of the best. I had a good job and it was fine and it was like what you were supposed to do next.

The good is the enemy of the best. The good is the enemy of the best. That's like a great fucking. Yeah, but it's often that thing of like if life is good enough, sometimes you don't take the risk. Sometimes you can't, you know, it's when you got nothing that's kind of an advantage in life. If you're listening to this and you think, oh my God, I've just got, I got nothing. You've got nothing to lose. It's like you can, you sometimes when things are kind of okay, you stay in the okay thing. And it was, it was certainly okay. It was an okay life,

but it was that thing of I was maybe mid twenties. So it kind of finished university and like got this corporate job and it was all going great. And you could see, I could see it's such a clear path. And then I left to join the circus. It was like, you know, yo ho ho, a pirate's life for me. And this thing of like, I started going to comedy more and more because I was a bit, I wasn't depressed.

I was like sad. You know that thing of like depression is the serotonin imbalance in your brain is very serious medical condition. Sad is when it's circumstance. And when it's just circumstantial, it's your fault and you can do something about it. It's good news to be sad. And then I just kind of started going to comedy, liked it. And then you know that like almost like the reverse of your career?

You start seeing people in like really big venues doing two hours and they're great. And then you start going to clubs and they're doing 20 minutes and you go, oh my God, I could never do that. And then you go to tiny like little call in places above a bar and you go, I'm not going to do that. And then your career is finding your way back to the big venue. Yeah, yeah. So the first time I was one-liners, I just could write one-liners. I could think like that.

So it's a version of who you are, right? Like first time was still reminiscent of what we know as you. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think it was like little wordplay things like, yeah, I was, lots of stuff about being kind of very middle class. Lots of stuff about, you know. But you're middle class? I'm kind of, I perceived as being middle class. What's that?

I'm confused now. In Britain, we have class like you have race. We have like a big kind of class system and it's slightly odd. I'm perceived as being quite posh. Yeah, that's right. Like upper class. Yes. But actually, my parents are Irish immigrants to Ireland.

So we only came over in the early 70s. So for work. So it's that thing of like, I know what I am, but I also know how I'm perceived. We think you kind of need, and that's really helpful in show because it's a no Brits are so in tune with the class system there Do most Brits? Perceive you as posh or know that you're middle class. No, they would they would perceive me as being posh posh Yeah, okay, because I'm over educated What if you went to that university if you've got that thing because it used to be I mean

It's not so much anymore because university has become like a luxury item. It might as well be a Louverton handbag now or a Porsche. But it used to be, it was a kind of a meritocracy and there was social mobility in that. You could sort of change your class by going to a certain school and hope for a better job and whatever. Yeah, it was good. Is there a part of you that still has an Irish immigrant mentality? I think there's something about like the Irish, there's something about the, there's a Morrissey song, Irish Blood, English Heart.

There's something about that where there's a lot of, there's a lot of us that have gone into the creative thing and it's, I don't know if there's, there's something to being other, because you see things in a slightly different way. Yeah, I think that can be perceived. I always felt other even though I probably fit in. I always felt other. I've always felt other. I even, when we went to that party the other day, I said to Ted, I go, I don't belong here.

I felt that too though. I asked security, should he be here? But that fitting in thing is like, Alan Havy gave me the best name. Do you know Alan? Old school, he's an amazing comic. But you know, comedy, we're out for ourselves, but in it together. That's good. It's just like the opposite of being an actor, right?

If you're an actor and you're getting the part of James Bond, one guy can get that role. And what's our job? Well, we escape competition through authenticity. That you absolutely, you are yourself. No one else could be you or would want to be. But you know what I mean? It's like you do your thing. And even though you guys are very different stylistically on stage, and it's different styles, it's

different. Yeah, there's a crossover of like fans, but actually very different styles of comedy. Like we're all doing our little thing. Who would I see last night? Mark Norman was at the store. And he's one line guy. I'm a one line guy. We can kind of, but it's so different. It's like whatever you's whatever you bring to that, it's like your thing. It's yours, yeah. It's kind of that thing of like just being yourself. It seems like that thing of like the world that we live in now, like the podcasting thing is huge because people are just being authentic. And where else do you get that? You watch the news and people are speaking

in this weird language that no one speaks like that. What are you talking about? Yeah. What, can I ask you a weird side question? I'd be amazed if you didn't. How do you feel about Oliver Cromwell? What in terms of? Like, I have someone with Irish parents who was horrific in Ireland, but yet they have a statue of him up in London and And he's all about this. I'm curious. I'm obsessed with Oliver Cromwell right now.

Really? You know the phrase warts and all is for Oliver Cromwell. Yeah, he had him on his face. Yeah, but it's from the painting. So when you used to get your portrait painted, that was the, if you were an important person, you'd have your portrait done and they would always make you look a little bit more beautiful than you were because you're paying them and whatever. So everyone was and when he was painted, he famously said, warts and all. I want to look how I look. Oliver Cromwell is the guy he killed King Charles because he was, he was, they were

all about, he's actually considered a dictator because he had the military rise up against the King who I think King Charles is was, but he was dodging him, and then Oliver Cromwell got him and beheaded him, got rid of the monarchy, and then, but it was horrible in Ireland, and he was very pivotal. They put up a statue of him, and I think in like the 70s or maybe the 80s,

in London, everyone felt one of two ways, like fucking Winston Churchill hated Oliver Cromwell, hated Oliver Cromwell, hated Oliver Cromwell. And it was an old prime minister that paid for the statue. He commissioned the statue. So he loved Oliver Cromwell. I was curious as an Irish person, what person of Irish descent, how you felt about Oliver Cromwell.

Because Oliver Cromwell is a curse word in Ireland, correct? I mean, I don't think, I think it's like most people are kind of through that now in terms of like, you know, I mean, they call it the troubles, but there was a civil war. I mean, it was like, it was, it was awful and they managed to find a piece somehow. So it's kind of, it's, I think most people are, there's a generation now that are kind of, have never really seen that. It used to be so, it was like, I mean, you know, things were blowing up in London when I was a kid.

I remember my mother, my mother had a very strong Irish accent and I remember like we went into a store, like the local store to buy newspapers and candy or whatever and the guy behind the counter said these Irish, there'd been some bombing and the guy said oh these Irish, they should be killed along with their children and My mother and I'd never seen it before just fucking eviscerated the guy really just like in front of a bunch of people just Crazy the guy Wow That's it's something that we don't really understand is that whole like I don't I think if you ask most Americans is that whole, like, I think if you ask most Americans what Great Britain is, they don't know what that is. I don't think they know what London is, the UK or England.

Oh, Great Britain and UK is different, yeah. All of that is so, it's amazing that it's like the same way you feel about football, we feel about the rest of the world. Yeah, but I mean America is so huge. You've got so much going on here. People often do that thing of going, oh, Americans don't have passports. You go, yeah. But if you had Alaska and Texas and Florida and Hawaii and there's a lot of places to

go before you need to leave. There's a lot of boxes to take before you've got to get to Europe. It's a weird thing with the statues thing. I would feel fine about it. I think statues are good. I think history is a good thing. I think if it reminds people then great. And you just need to, you know, everything's in context.

Yeah. When you started doing comedy clubs, because we both started in comedy clubs and you would, I was not good at recognizing morons. Like I would tether up to morons quick. Tom is really good at picking out morons. Like he's like, fuck that guy. He's an idiot. He knows he's like, fuck that guy, he's an idiot. He knows you're saying this, yeah? Yeah. Why, what am I saying? But like, but like, were you, because you were like, you came from a different world. I still don't think he knows you're saying it. Okay, okay.

So, would you- So you're saying Tom's good at picking out morons? He's really good at picking out morons. Oh, no, I'm not saying that. And there you saw the penny drop in perhaps the slowest of all motions. The fact that you didn't get a joke about being a moron. You have to make me another drink. So wait, did you suffer? We take two drinks away. Is that the? What's the phrase?

Suffer fools lightly? Suffer fools gladly. Is that what it is? Yeah, but go on. What's the, what? What do you mean? Like other comics that were? Yeah, when you go back.

I was convinced everyone was a genius. Really? Because you'd see guys that were doing 20 minutes that they'd, I didn't know they'd be doing the same 20 minutes for 10 years. Sure. And they were working on a sitcom or they were writing a movie and I was going, I need to work a bit harder, I need to do a bit more. These guys are on it.

And then you don't realize they weren't doing anything. They were talking a good game. There's a lot of people that talk a good game. And then you go, yeah, but you don't kind of, you're doing the same thing. Or guys that had one trick. Like they could write one type of joke, but they couldn't write the other type of joke. They could write a pullback reveal, but they couldn't do anything else. Yeah. I would think that you would walk into a green room very comfortably.

I walked into the Comedy Store in London. I've been doing stand-up for like probably 14 years, 15 years. And those guys got in my head so hard about like, because I because there's, I guess the Comedy Store in London is like the place. Yeah, I mean, not to the same, I don't think it's, it's not as good as, let's be honest, the Comedy Store in Los Angeles and the Comedy Cellar in New York. It's, that's quite a unique thing of like, people turn up to work on stuff that are huge comics and it's every single night of the week.

It's they're phenomenal places. And I guess mothership is becoming that. Yeah. You've done spot on there. Yeah. And then your podcast with Rogan was amazing by the way. It was really good fun. I loved it.

I get stuck on things where like, and they get stuck in my head where I think about it a lot and it's, you know, you said something about that I can't stop thinking about a lot of people play the guitar a Lot of people love music and then they also play music for fun. They have fun. They really enjoy it They're not gonna be a musician They're not gonna be doing but no one does that with comedy and you were saying there should be an accessibility to comedy people love Comedy, they should do comedy. They should learn comedy the same way you would learn the guitar Why wouldn't you want to learn comedy? I thought it was really a fucking profound statement.

Well, I'm working on a thing at the moment, my friend Amanda Baker and Abbie Grant, we're working on a book and maybe a course about teaching it. Because I do think it's like, there's a lot of mystery around comedy. Like in green rooms and things, it's like, that guy's just a genius. And you go, well, he's not a genius, he's doing something there. And if you break it down, and sometimes I think there's slightly the, there's an illusion that people go, well, it just comes to me on stage.

You go, no, you're writing, but that's where you're writing. That's where you're writing. Yeah, I've always resented the, when people talk about, like, they're like, this guy's on another level. I'm like, no. He's on the same level. There's a level of proficiency that you get to, and then it's kind of like it becomes what your taste is.

When they start talking about, like I just feel like after a certain amount of time, there's a number of people that get to a very proficient level. And to me, I see everybody at that level as essentially the same. I just, I kind of, you have your taste where, but it, I don't feel like that person is a genius at stand up. I think the genius thing is a bit overused as well.

It is. On like that thing of like you go, there's, there's pure genius. There's, you know, I don't know, Bach or von Neumann or something. And then there's hyper accelerated rationality, which I think is what comics have a lot of the time. When we're on stage, I think the bit that works, sometimes you think of a joke, but then when you're on stage in front of people,

your mind goes at a weird speed, and your subconscious just throws something out, the little tag on the end of it that you go, oh, where did that come from? Or you're chatting to an audience member. It's like it comes that quick. But again, I think it's like being in that in that state. I do think that thing of like teaching it because kids, what do you get from stand up

comedy? You get to speak in your own voice. The tragedy that so many people live and die without ever hearing their own authentic voice. The kids, this is really big in the United States. I don't know if you have, you must have a version of it, but like the kids that would do borat impressions and then that would become their personality. Yeah. It was like an Ace Ventura impression in high school

and then that was their personality. Alrighty then. Like then, and they never learned comedy. They learned how to be funny by watching a movie and emulating that as opposed to Finding your authentic voice is so fucking cool. It's almost like a first step, right? I mean those kids that were doing that like when you look back you go Oh, they're kind of like toying with how to do comedy and they're drawn to the joy of it Yeah, you know because it's the the joy of comedy is like I think the reason we all do it

It's it's a it's kind of a fact that people come and they need it. I think that's something that we don't really talk about much because we sound very, you know, up ourselves. But the idea of going, some people come to comedy and they've got a tough life and they've got a tough job and a tough family situation and then they need a couple of hours off from that to just laugh at this guy and this guy is like the freedom to speak and to say what you want. Yes on stage is kind of oh, I Felt it with you the first time I saw you to stand up

But I remember Tom had said you've got to see him he's so fucking good and it was that Montreal and and I the joy of Seeing something you've never seen before seeing seeing someone do it proficiently, and it being comedy and being really surprised. I love that so much when you're like, oh shut like and it's and even being a comic you're like, this is fucking next level. I mean you had your clipboard on stage in the roast battles. You were destroying people and I was like, God, I know how the trick's done, but I don't know how he's doing it.

But isn't it a weird thing with the, there's a perfect mix of standup where you go, especially with storytelling, I think even more so than what I do, like the dopamine hit of you don't quite know where the laugh is coming. I mean, you know there's going to be a laugh, but you don't quite know where it's coming. And then you get the serotonin, you know, the joy of the serotonin is great. So it's like that thing of it's real joy. As opposed to, you know, there's so many things in our lives that are like, you know, drinking drugs is kind of a proxy for joy. But you go, no, he said reaching.

The thing that I live for in comedy, in a feature film, in any type of storytelling that I consume, I just want to be surprised. That's it. It sounds small, it's a big ask because your experiences, your mind, other things you've consumed, fill your mind with like expectations. So to get a surprise, whether it's in a joke or a twist. But isn't that, I mean, every joke, when you break it is. Every joke is the sudden revelation of a previously concealed fact. Yes. It's like you tell two stories and in the first story it's going to go this way and it goes another way and

the rug is pulled. And you know the most simplistic someone falls over. Yes. Or someone should be wearing a shirt and then not. Yes. By the way, this is how good Nikki Glaser did last night. Ready? Yeah. Georgia's been calling me all day. Georgia's friends watched the roast and all they said to Georgia, you know Nikki Glaser? Really? And they're like, that's how good, and Georgia called me this morning. I was picking up Isla from school.

She called in sick. Georgia goes, hey, I hadn't watched a roast. Nikki Glaser murdered, huh? And I was like, it's funny, my daughter speaks in comedy terms, that's how close she is to comedy. I said she fucking destroys. She goes, tell me some of her jokes. And so I was telling her, and she was like,

yeah, all my friends, all my friends were like, Nikki Glaser this, Nikki Glaser that, and then they saw a picture of me and Nikki Glaser, and they're like, you know her? And she was like, I had to keep on the DL dad, like it's, but Georgia, all her girlfriends are obsessed with Nikki Glazer right now I killed and that crazy. I love that thing though Like when it pops for someone yeah

I always think that thing about like you can tell when you've got like friend friend of me's or real friends Yeah like is this some people in comedy that you're like sometimes maybe a bit too close to and there might be a bit of jealousy and That thing of like the you know comparison is the thief of joy, but when it happens for someone and you go, yes. Yeah, it's awesome. I mean, the last one probably before this, I mean, hopefully Tony and, and, uh, uh, and she get, get Nikki get to that kind of next level because of this. And that's why we were, but Shane Gillis was the last one where the whole industry went. Yes. Yes. It's the weird thing like the upside of the down. I was chatting to Neil Brennan about this of going when you get canceled or when you get dragged online

There's an upside and the upside is the people that are your people. It's a chance to root for you. Yes It's a chance to go. No, that's my guy. That's what happens for Shane. It's like he's like everyone's like everyone's Shane had a different Shane had a different because he was no one's guy yet. He was no one's guy, he was so young, he was no one's guy. And Shane had to get the people to like, he got canceled before he had the people. And so then he had to get the people, and as they got the people, then they started, I mean it was a really crazy way to be canceled

before you were even famous. Like you dealt with shit. You got it out of the way early, didn't you? Yeah, you dealt with shit, which I gotta be honest with you. It was like, it's like, you know when people say racial slurs from other countries and you're like, like you get edited out, I know you can't say this word, but I don't get it, it doesn't bother me.

Oh, I could say it, I don't care. Okay, yeah, I don't care, it doesn't bother me. But you know, I know you can't say it in like certain places, but that's the thing, when you got canceled, that was like hearing a racial term from a different country because I was like, it's a great fucking joke. And then people got upset and I was like, what the fuck? Wait, hold on. Then you know, he's a comedian.

Like that was the most bizarre one. I go, you people that are doing this are just about to make him a million times bigger because it's a great fucking joke. It did, it did, It did bump up the figures. Fuck, it was like the Netflix special had done well and then there was a big controversy and it kind of went back into the top 10 again. It was that thing of like you go, yeah, there's going to be, and you know, you get dragged for these things every now and then, but you have to, you only have to answer one question

when you get canceled, which is who are you? You know, did you say an error? Were you drunk? Were you high? Did you make a mistake? Or did you, yeah, no is who are you? You know, did you say it in error? Were you drunk? Were you high? Did you make a mistake? Or did you, no, I said that 400 times on the tour. And then I put it on the Netflix special. Yeah, I think it's a really good joke.

Yeah. But the idea that a joke isn't a joke, it's a statement of fact, is the trick that they, that's the switcheroo that the papers do or the people that are outraged. But you know, it's all- Your response, I was trying to tell Tom and I didn't articulate it well, shockingly, but your response of, so you understand that I can say something that I didn't mean.

It's gone viral recently. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Oh yeah, the bit where, yeah, it's like the next time I get canceled, what I'm going to do? I'm going to say, I'm going to make a public statement on the day I get canceled. I'm going to say. I'm going to say, I'm going to make a public statement on the day I get canceled. I'm going to say, I'm sorry. And the people that are offended by the joke will say, you don't really mean that apology. And I'll say, so you're saying I could say something and not mean it. Now you're getting it. It's great. It kind of

sums it up though, right? It's like that thing you go, you're pretending you don't know what a joke is, but you do. Gervais said it very nicely. Gervais said, I think it's on his last special, he said, you're laughing at the wrong thing because you know what the right thing is. And a lot of what I do when it's like, you're talking about those issues that are really fun to talk about though, aren't they? And it's a release.

That's what you go to the show for. It's the fun of finding a place where for this time in this space you get to do that. You get to go say things that you can't say out on the street without somebody going like, why would you say it? Because you're not saying it on the street. You're saying it into a microphone. There's context to this whole thing. I don't think people, I don't, you know, I think sometimes when it only causes trouble when it escapes the lab. I always think the thing people don't consider is being in a comedy audience.

Like last night, I really felt it last night. It's a performance being in the audience. The audience are performing as well. Yeah, you're together. If someone said to you, if you went to see, I don't know, ACDC live in concert, right? And someone says, how are we doing in Los Angeles? Everyone goes, yeah. No one says that in Starbucks. How are you doing? You're insane. You're a lunatic. There's a performance to it. Yeah. I'm going to start doing that. How are you doing? Oh God.

Where are the black women at? Starbucks the Starbucks, that would be great. Keep it up, keep it going for our fucking soldiers. But is that thing of like the performance of like being there and laughing, you're signaling to other people that you get it. It's like, I think people desperately want to feel part of something. They do. And when you've got your sense of humor so personal to you, right? It's like when you've got your guy and we've all got our guys that we just love. And it might not be our closest friends, but the idea of like

guys that we go and see or we watch and we just go, I'm just going to belly laugh my weird weird laugh at this. I'm going to honk at it for an hour because I love everything about the cadence of this. I love it. And it's really, it's just fabulous. From where I was last night, like sitting up there. I know you were very close, but did you feel like, because to me, I was like, man, just being up here watching this, it felt like such a fun vibe for a roast. Like I thought with few exceptions, everything- Even the exceptions are important.

Yeah. I think you have to have a little break for- if everyone kills, it's one note. So some of the footballers didn't do as well as the others. I thought that Julian guy, I don't know who he is. I thought he was fabulous. He was grand. Gronk was fucking amazing. The Gronk thing, it strikes me that there's an opportunity for- someone's having a discussion today, I bet, because it's the same thing.

Remember Snoop did a roast with Martha Stewart and then they went off and made TV shows together. It strikes me that there's a grunk show where we take him and we send him to the Vatican to look at the art. That's what I want to see. I want him to go and yeah, what are we sending him? Well, we're sending him to the Middle East. We're going to see if he can sort things out. It was...

Grunk no like. It was great. Who was Gervais' buddy? Yeah, the... Yeah, Carl Pilgrimton. Carl used to be my producer on my radio show. He was? Yeah, he was the producer at XFM before we were at the radio show.

There's like a feeling almost like, put this guy in this situation, just watch him. Yeah, he should be, yeah. Set him off into the wild. Like one of these. Yeah. One of these. Gronk and I could be brothers. Yeah.

Gronk and I get along. Well, he's famously good at spotting morons. So. Gronk and I have a lot of similar thoughts. Yeah, no, I was watching you guys. I got into a room and I got to sit in the middle and then I had Gronk here and Bert here and I got to tell you man, it was, it was like watching. And they were both fucking burgers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gronk, I met Gronk at a dinner one night and we went to dinner together with a bunch of people and- Did the others get anything to eat? No. with a bunch of people and did the others get anything to eat? No, we fucked food up, we fucked booze up, and it was the fucking wildest night and it ended with Gronk going, yo, Pauly Short's upstairs, can you introduce me? I was like, Gronk, you can introduce yourself. Everyone knows who you are.

He is everything you... This is a beautiful thing and I wonder what your thoughts are. When you meet a celebrity, you want them to be everything you think they're gonna be. And Gronk delivers, 100% Gronk, across the board. He is everything you want him to be. Sometimes you meet a celebrity and you're like, Ah, fuck. Guy's kind of a dick or whatever, but like he is...

Rogan's that way. When you meet Rogan, he's just as bizarre and curious as you think he's going to be. Yeah. I think it's probably with maybe actors that you get that. Yeah. Because you go, wow, he's so cool because he played a cool guy in a movie. Yeah. But he's not that guy. He's not that guy.

But he said all those cool things. Yeah, but he didn't write those cool things. He said the line. Yeah. So it's often like that thing where you go, the musician who's a rock star and you think he's super rock and roll. But yeah, but he's an artist. He's sitting there writing the songs and getting the melody and stuff. It's a different thing. You're only seeing the performance bit. You're not seeing the artistry bit. Who's your generation of comics? Like the guys you came up with. Like we know our generation.

I'm curious in your scene who your generation of, who like your class is. Well, the guys I came up with, it depends where you draw it. Like there's people that would be known on, I did my first ever Edinburgh show with Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant. We all went up together and did 20 minutes each. What year? Uh, that would have been 2001. 2000, maybe 2000.

And when did you start? I started about 2000, maybe the year before. I was in Edinburgh in 2000 with Patrice O'Neill and Rich Voss. I got, oh wow, I mean that is a... We bombed. Huh? We bombed every night. Did you?

Horrifically. So poorly, 29 nights in a row, 25 nights in a row. Wow. And it was silent. I remember Patrice threw a check, check's passport out of the room. He's like, get out of our country. It was so uncomfortable. And I remember Patrice getting into it with Eddie Izzard or whatever, you know, something else. Edd is still acceptable. Yeah. Okay. I didn't mean that disrespectfully.

But just getting into them with them. I remember being with Patrice, I only met him a couple of times, but being in, I think it was like Toronto, we're doing some nasty show thing in Toronto. And I never met him, didn't know anything of his reputation. He so delivered, was so rude to the people backstage. And like, as funny as he was on stage, like he was absolutely like, not just roasting, but like mean roasting. Yeah. So good. Oh, he was on stage, like he was absolutely like not just roasting but like mean roasting. Yeah. So good.

Oh, he was. I mean, what a guy. Yeah. It's so lovely that we've got like that thing of like if you love him, if you like that comedy and they've got the, it felt like he knew when he taped Elephant in the Room. Yeah. He even makes the joke about I'm like, I'm 70, effectively. Look at, I'm so great.

He was great. It was great. He was amazing. He was committed to spending a lot of time over in the UK when we did 2000. He was like I might spend more time here. I might keep doing this in Amsterdam and all those. Well Amsterdam had a thing for a while. I did it a couple of times where they were really into I think it was a deaf comedy jam was their thing. So they would book mainly kind of black American acts to come over, but they would book a couple of British guys as well. So I'd kind of get booked on the show, but that was really their thing was they were into a deaf comedy jam.

So it would have been, you know, I guess, uh, Ridgefoss did that in the day. Yeah. That was, it was kind of, it was cool. It's cool thing. I mean, there's a big market over there. It's just difficult to know. You've only got a certain. It was a cool thing. I mean, there's a big market over there. It's just difficult to know. You've only got a certain amount of time. And there's, I mean, I play everywhere around the world, but I think a lot of people just go, America's so huge. By the time you finish touring it, you've written a new show and you're ready to tour it again.

That's kind of true. You have to make an effort to leave. You know, like a real effort. And financially, like this is, I mean, you guys, you're playing stadiums. I just think that thing, it does make it feel new again. When you go and do the Tokyo Dome it let you go well this is hang on half the people are just local guys that found me on YouTube and into this and it's just it's fun for you you tore do you tore very internationally yeah I mean I'm like 24 countries deep this year I think really

yeah I did a lot of far east. You must murder in South Africa. Everyone murders in South Africa. They do. South Africa is like fucking wild. Yeah it's pretty wild. You can see crazy shit on stage and they're like ah. It's good fun yeah I did um Joe Burke in Cape Town this time they were fantastic. How long are you touring the stage right now or are you just here for the? Just here for the festival at the moment I'm going to do a show but because the Netflix thing dropped like three weeks ago. It's the new show. Great special by the way. Thank you very much.

Great special. Great fucking special. But you've got to do new stuff immediately. So the next tour date like I went okay I'm doing the new stuff. Are you how long you sticking in the city for? I'm like here till Wednesday. Got a show Wednesday night in LA and then I'm going to go and do the tonight show on Friday. To New York. Yeah because I think it's the 90s and it might make a difference.

I think if I can do four and a half minutes of funny stuff clean, I think I might get a sitcom deal. Okay, I'm pulling for you, man. I'm really hoping that works. Yeah, we're gonna have to explain to some of the listeners what sitcoms are. Yes. It's like a long TikTok, I guess. Yeah, it's a very long TikTok. A long TikTok with some ad reads in the middle.

Wait, what is your white whale? Cause I'm kind of lost in that right now. It's like, what do I want to do? I think I've done everything I ever thought. I did way more than I ever thought I was gonna do. Like what do you, like someone comes, sits you in a room in Hollywood tomorrow and they go hey Scott, Netflix, Ted says I'm sure he's actually said this. Hey anything you want to do what do you want to do movies,

sitcom, more specials, man on the street, eight cats. Are you in this now? Are you thinking about this? Because I'm quite stoic at the moment. I'm like do less better. Everyone just write jokes. My thing is do more mediocre. Yeah. How's that working out? I'm taking nine months off in July. It's hand out. You're taking nine months off in July. It doesn't understand how calendars work. You can't do that. It's just a month. A month is the longest you can take off in July. So what you're going to... I don't know what I want to do. Well I suppose it's that thing of like you go, there's a fancy term for it is the hedonic treadmill.

You get used to your life being amazing. But that thing of like nine months, go and have some adventures. Go and I don't know, try some things. Yeah. Get on a train, try and upset some mafia people. You know the drill. But that thing of like going and having adventures and going and living your life. I think it's great that you're doing it because there's

no there there. You never arrive, right? And what's this about? Hopefully we all get better. Hopefully in five years time we look back at the specials we made this year and go, okay, well it's good, but you know, I can see it, but this one's better. This one's got better jokes in it. There's better structure. There's all you're ever trying to do. Yeah, you're trying to get better at it. And it's always like you're looking up to these masters. You know, I don't know who it is for you, but like you look up to some of these. You're one of them. You're one of them. I look at the way you were. I think this is going to be the

most fucked up thing I've ever said. I watch your specials and I go, God damn it. If I had his brain, I'd be such a good comic. Because you're like all my lazy parts are none of yours. Like all my lazy parts are the things you excel at. And I go- But it's so sweet of you to say that and I genuinely, it's hard to take a compliment, but that's so lovely of you. But again, escape competition through authenticity. No one can do what you can do.

It's so the opposite of like no one in Hollywood was going, I'll tell you what we need. An out of shape shirtless guy. But somehow the world wanted it. And the energy you have on stage, that performance, you fill a fucking room and you carry people along. That storyteller thing. The grass is always green, right? You're always kind of looking over at what other people can do. And it's like, but you forget your gift. The

world ordered this. And they did. They opened the bag and they're like, this isn't my order. The secret is you got to honor it. You got to honor that thing that you bring to the party. You know, it's great. But what's your white whale then? Well, what the thing you want to do. Like you, for you. Like what's your white whale then? Well, what the thing you want to do. Like you, for you. Like what's your thing?

Like is there anything you want? Host the Oscars or you know what I mean? Like is there anything that you ever go that I would love to do? Yeah, I think there's quite a lot of that stuff that you kind of, you could reel off. But actually I think just doing another, I think it's about special, I think it's about touring. It's doing good shows, delivering. You know, I don't want to sound like a hippie, but it's an act of service, isn't it?

It's that thing of like, well, I'd like to be good at this and I'd like to deliver on it and deliver on that potential. All the other stuff is like slightly hosting the Oscars. God, it'd be incredible. A chance to get slapped in the face. But you go, well, that's not really, it's not about the host. That's about giving the awards to... Yeah, that's true.

Was there a part of you last night? Because I know my energy and I'm honest with my energy. If I had been sitting in the audience, I know Shane said he's like, I should have fucking done it. Was there a part of you that was like, God, give me one fucking, give me four minutes up there. I fucking own this room. Was there a part of you that was like, I would.

I really wanted to do it. I really wanted to do it. But it's that thing where you go, you're in the audience. I was saying afterwards, like to a couple of people, I went to the store afterwards and had to do a show. Because there's a part of you that goes, this is a fabulous show, people are destroying, a lot of my friends are killing up there. Why is this not more about me? But there's a bit of you that's a performer, you know, you have to be respectful of that. Okay, well, you know, the ego kind of, well, I could do that. But, you're fucking amazing.

Look man, you are among the best of the whites that we know. It's a fucking... It is such an honor to sit with a high end white. You are. Like it's really cool. It's great to see that. As far as overseas whites, you're... And you're like a Confederate statue to us, because like you're an old school white.

You're like the authentic first one. Yes. You know? We all have white bodies. Did someone push the cancel button on the... Quick! We're going to need some clicks on this. Say terrible things.

What's the name of the new special? Natural Born Killer. If Quentin Tarantino is watching, I don't know what you're talking about. Natural Born Killer. Not killers, killer. You are, no, you're fucking absolutely an amazing comic to watch. So for anybody listening or watching, if you get a chance to see Jimmy live, that's where it's at. Are you touring in the States at all?

I'll do it next year. I tell you what, has anyone listened to this in Canada? Yeah, of course. You know I'm doing a thing with Jim Jeffries. No. Me and Jeff are doing an to this in Canada? Yeah, of course. You know I'm doing a thing with Jim Jeffries? No. Me and Jeff are doing an arena tour of Canada in September, October and we're doing a double header. So it's me and Jim.

So it's, if you like funny jokes, you're in luck. If you like funny stories, you're in luck. That's everything. I think it's going to be fun. I love Jim. We've known him for a million years. I think it'll be fun. He's a monster, man.

He's a fucking monster. Get tickets. Go see Jimmy Carr, Jim Jeffries together and watch the new special. Dude, seriously, like it's always fun to see you, bro. You are, and I have to say this is that we met you, Googled your net worth in Canada. Tom's like, Google his net worth, he's still doing stand up. And then I ran into you on the lot at, I think, somewhere in the valley, Universal. Oh yeah.

And you were so kind. And you were like, but, but. And I was like, and I was so impressed going into a general meeting. And I was like, he's a fucking monster and he knows who I am. He was like, but will you fill up this, my car with petrol? My keys, make sure it's clean. Thank you yeah that was our we're not all chimney sweeps not all of us can you do American accent yeah

no I'm doing it right now this is this is how it should have been things went badly in Boston but we're coming back this isn't even an accent this is just how things sound when they're pronounced properly. Vitamin. How do you say vitamin? How do I say vitamin? Yeah. Vitamin.

You don't say vitamin? Vitamins. Yeah, I would say vitamins. How do you say to to? It's to to. See, I told you I was saying it right. The tattoo. You do?

Yeah, tattoo. Maybe I'll go tattoo. And then it's, what's the one? Aluminum. The tattoo. You do? Yeah, tattoo. And then it's, what's the one? Aluminum. Aluminium. Aluminium, yeah. Are we saying that wrong? Well, the one that would be, I would say trousers, you would say pants. I would say pavement, you would say sidewalk.

I would say I'm an arm, don't shoot. You would say oops. And then if we were like, ah, it's a bit of a conundrum, you'd be like ah it's a bit of a conundrum you'd be like it's a bit of a whiffle isn't it something like that yes if we've had a head injury yeah yeah he would say that yeah you and Gronk. Welcome to civilization. We can't send the two of you out though. There's got to be somebody different. There's got to be. If we just had you.

You're both wearing helmets. It's got to be like Jimmy and Gronk. What they should do is they should do a show called Jimmy, Jimmy hosts Gronk and Bert living together. And Jimmy's at a desk hosting and just as we live, oh, they've gone to the beer again. They're drinking again. Well, they're both in speedos. You know what?

You guys, you guys in a house, cameras everywhere. And David Attenborough, the wildlife guy just comments on these, on these guys. It's like we find the real Sasquatch. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to pitch out to Gronk. Neanderthals walking through the hell. Yeah, that would be great.

They're showering in the pool. You shower in the pool? Shower in the pool? Get in the pool, wash off. Wash off, shower in the pool. He showers in his pool. I shower in my pool. He jumps in the pool.

I mean, I know you're doing great in life, but I imagine you still have an above ground pool. We had for a long time, we did. Everything about you says above ground pool. Look behind you, look at the poster behind you. Yeah, that's me in an above ground pool. Yeah, and that's celebrating, that's he made it. That's I just showered.

I was supposed to do that show with Jim Jefferies and he backed out because he was having a kid and I ended up doing Red Rocks by myself. Changed my career. I love Jim Jefferies. He's awesome. You're the best brother. Thank you, Jimmy.

You're the best. Thank you. Great to see you. Thank you so much for having me on. No, thank you brother. Anytime. You're the fucking best. You're the best dude.

Bert and Tom, Tom and Bert. One goes to the top and swallows the other. Wears the shirt. Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call, two bears, one cave. Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call, Two Bears, One Cave. Shopping for Mother's Day is usually a challenge because I always wait until the last minute but Macy's Gift Finder makes it an

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