2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Testosterone Bears | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 182

Episode Date: April 24, 2023

It’s another classic episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer. Bert is trying to update his wardrobe, how much weight change affects looks, and if it has the potential to change a fat comedian’s act. Tom injects Bert with (doctor prescribed) testosterone, the discuss what tattoos they’re going to get on their newly ripped bodies, and how jacked some athletes used to be. They discuss plane crashes, health and longevity,https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/tourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com/

So you do it in your ass. Yeah. How do you do it in your ass? I'll show you. Pull up to your hips with big tits. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Do you think I'm smarter than the Malaysian president? You might be the first time you shot here.

100% Why are you guys? Hey, I'm on the boss. I'm the boss. When we're in the West Coast, I'm the boss. And by the way, what a benevolent boss I am. Hey guys, it's Bert Kreischer, the boss of Two Bears, One Cave, and there's my wife, bringing in,

the scissors. And I got next to me, West Coast Tommy, who has switched out a luxury vehicle every single day, and high-end clothes. What are we wearing today, Tom? You don't want a free palace tonight, but you don't think so. Now I got hooked up, thank you McLaren.

They sent me the... We have an hard time with our retainer today. I got a cough drop in too. Oh. Okay, okay, I have the, okay, yeah. No, they sent me the new Artura and I drove that for a day. It was really cool.

Thank you very much, McLaren. Kind of shook weather to drive it in. That's why I don't have it today Yeah, really well. Yeah, it would have been a nightmare drive. Yeah, I like the one I almost bought the car you had I didn't my friend has not my car So a friend let me that I know it's you know, I mean somebody low-camera Yo Matt the fuck Matt don't so What are you wearing today? I like your t-shirt. Thank you. This is a vintage gap t-shirt

This is I will tell you this is when a t-shirt gets its best These are polyester t-shirts and it's once it starts fraying on the inside Like this is an old t-shirt and I love this we had one t-shirt like this in college actually I love that shirt It's the it's so comfortable. It's so old Do you remember in college we when you'd you'd get a shirt that everyone kind of loved and you'd steal it from each other? Sure and our shirt was a was a I Think it was like Jimmy Jimmy had, our roommate, Jimmy had it. And it was just a perfectly gray like this, worn out.

And it was like a baseball shirt. It's had like name of baseball team on it like that he had played for in high school. And we would go around stealing that shirt. And once you got it, you'd wash it and you'd put it in your clothes. And then when you wore it, they would, that's the fun, that's what the shirt is.

I love this shirt. I love, I'll tell you what I do love. And I went and I pulled a Tommy and made it rain in New York. Did you really? James Perse. Oh, that's the bad news. And I know you love James Perse too. No, James Perse.

You did, you did a gangster move when we were at the Daytona 500. You pulled out a crisp James Perse with the tag on it. Yeah, yeah. Secret time. Secret time. That's why Leanne had scissors. That's not Leanne on it. Yeah, secret time. Yeah, secret time. That's why Leanne had scissors. That's not Leanne. Yeah. Oh, sorry.

That's why Leanne had scissors earlier. For the I had some fresh James purses. They feel amazing. Well, there's two. Look, I would love to give James purse as a guest bear. Either you mirror you, whoever gets them. I don't know what he likes to do also. Oh fuck checks probably but He buys houses and just designs like because he's got great taste. This was my idea and then he this was my idea

This was my idea. You know that right you and James purse. No, Jim I came up with it before James purse. I guarantee it don't Google James purse right now. Where the fuck Rachel? Rachel I like when you give a little bit of it Holston so I I Yeah, so I had an idea of sit with Bobby Flay and Dallas outside of in a bar. You were doing this This is a true story, okay, and so I sat with sitting with Bobby Flay and he said to me We were talking about our loyalty to scripts when we both worked

at scripts. I know what a great company it was to work for. All the dudes that ran scripts, not, I'm not, I'm not, that owned it, the COO, the CEO, all those men were some awesome fucking men that were generous and kind and insightful and they were like, they were like men and they would tell you how to be a man and how to be a better man. These are executives, you're talking about them. These are the executives and they were approachable

and they'd hang with you, they'd come up and they'd be like, have a drink with you and talk to you. I love those guys. Well Bobby Flay was really good friends with all of them. They treated him like fucking gold. Bobby was like their golden goose. He, whatever he talks with the home run. And Bobby said to me, the beauty is,

don't worry about your money at Scripps. It's your side projects. That's where the big, he goes, when I open a restaurant, I have the backing of this big network where everyone's a phantomine, and I get fans from all around the world wanting to come to my restaurant

when you're in the West of Money Move. He goes, what's your money move? And I said, he's like a bar, like is your party guy? And I was like, no. I was like, what if I opened Airbnb, Bert Airbnb's. And I set it up for Bert. And I said, I go, and but here's the cool thing. I use my research and my insight and say like a place like Costa Rica or Rome or, or places I've been, but maybe not Rome. Rome's not about it. But Costa Rica is a

perfect idea. Because Costa Rica is so big and so vast that it's going to take, you'll never really know exactly where to go. But what if I did the research? Then I buy the house, I fill it up with all the shit I love. Fridges stocked with beer, margaritas, we got the rocks to Kila, all my friends send in their shit, and then I have got like Adam Richmond, scope out all the restaurants. So basically you're getting a concierge service when you rent my Airbnb, but it's not James And then I have got like Adam Richmond scope out all the restaurants get you a so basically You're getting a concierge service when you rent my Airbnb, but it's not James person not cool and slick and hot

It's like fun as fucking shit Sure, it's a house on the beach where the waves break small I can tell you and then I have hookups throughout from all the travel channels. Yeah, so you can do all the shit We didn't on travel channel. I love it. And so it's a good idea. I know I'm hit dude if you have a hedge fund and you want to do this Hit me. I'll play I think you should be like head to toe James. You know, he's a Malibu guy That's your vibe dude. You should be head to toe James purse all the time James purse is a bad motherfucker. So I roll in In the so host store. It's a block. It's a block from someone's podcast. So, it's a roll-in and I'm like, I go, just make it rain.

They're like, what? I'm razzled dazzle time. I'm like, razzled dazzle me. I'm like, what do you mean? I go every color. I want every, because it's online. It's just you can do it, but it's just, I go just, razzled dazzle, every fucking color. I want every because you it's online. It's just you can do it. But it's yeah, I go just razzle dazzle every fucking color. I want every fucking color of shirt. And they're like, okay, they make the subtle mistake of grabbing the higher end shirt. Yeah, which is a price point and which I do not buy t-shirts. Now, if I told you how much the low end t-shirt cost, you would throw your flip flop at this screen right now It's crazy shut the fuck up

But they're comfortable shirts and they break in well they turn into they all turn into like a great fucking shirt So they probably I was like, whoa, what's that bill and they were like yeah, I did I go didn't hang on What do you have like another one one that's half that's half of that price? When I say half the price, Google how much a James Hurt, Turt, Turt, Turt, Turt, do you know what I'm saying? Shop men, just shop men's. And so they go back, they got all the other ones.

And then I got a pair, I got a track suit, a James purse track suit. And she was, and, and then I was done. You are, the track suit was ridiculously expensive. From him? Yeah. Oh God, yeah.

And by the way, if you look like Pete, so Pete like saved up to buy a shirt, of course, I was like, I'll just buy it for you. So I bought it for him. And when Pete wears it, that's what it's supposed to look like. Yeah, he has a body in there. It looked good on you. Thanks. My goal is to wear a four.

That's sure it looked good on him on the left right there. That's the shirt I bought. I'm going to go to my goal is to wear a four. That's sure it looked good at him on the left right there. That's the shirt I bought. The one on the right, the far right, that's the ones I bought. Right there. Lake, yeah. Short sleeve crew neck, and then I got some V-neck. Yeah, what is that?

That's the one though, that's the price point. What is it? $80 for a T-shirt. That's a lot. It's a lot, but here's the deal. I'm cleaning out my closet. I'm only gonna have James Perks, because I love them. You gotta get rid of them. I've had a hard time.

Me too, but I've been doing it for a while now. Yeah, but you get rid of expensive shit. I do. I have a hard time getting rid of concert shirts. I donate. I donate. It makes you feel good too. Donate to poor people?

Yeah. Do you know how fucking one of those poor feels when you give them a fucking like coach and L.E.T.? If you had follow through with when you donate to the poor's? Yeah. Well, like sometimes they wear it to the shot. Like they'll be like, no. Hold up like a jacket I get there like this shot.

You gave me this. I don't think anyone, I don't think anyone will want what I have. I have a lot of, I have, okay, if I was gonna clean up my closet, I would get rid of, I have a ridiculous amount of tracksuits, like an obnoxious amount of tracksuits. If I just cleaned out tracksuits, hoodies, and t-shirts, I'd have a normal looking closet.

Can I tell you something? If you did that, I guarantee you, you would feel so good about it. Really? Yes. It is like, have you ever cleaned up your desk? Yeah. And you're like, god damn, finally.

Like, you'll feel, it's like cleaning out a room or a car, like it feels great. And here's the thing, because you have new stuff going in, you're like, that's right. I made room for this new stuff. This new stuff's coming in, get rid of this bullshit that is just taking up space. I have four blue North Face Vests, four of the same color, the four. And when we were in Copenhagen,

there was a North Face store and I walked in, and I was like, oh, I like this blue. And Pete said, I'm not letting you buy it. I went, I turned into a patron. I go, no one tells me what to do. Yeah, no one tells me. And I was like, I'm buying out. And I said, I said, be very careful with what you say.

Because I will buy every single one of the blue ones and all the different sizes and I'll hand them out to people on the street. Don't ever tell me that. And he was like, okay, I was just saying, if Liang sees you come home with another fucking that blue, I have, and I buy a lot of the same things because I like things. Here's my problem. We're all like that.

I would have a problem. I actually would not have a problem. I'm being dead serious. I'm, I, I, today, I don't know when I will, I'll ever be home again. But like, again, yeah, I don't like it, I think in late April, I'm home. I swear to God, here's what I'll ever be home again. But like again, yeah, I don't, like, I think in late April home. I swear to God, here's what I'll do.

Now I don't have expensive stuff, but if I know it's going to someone who would love it. Meaning, this is what I did. Like, yeah, but I don't have, like, I'm talking about fucking badass shirts. Like, like, fucking, like a shirt like this, like an old school vintage shirt that like, and I want like, this sounds really scary.

Let me give you some advice though. If you're gonna give away stuff. Yeah. The mistake is trying to give away a bunch of individual items to a bunch of, it's a lot of work to coordinate, like 30 shirts or jackets or vest to 30 people. You should consolidate and give a few people multiple items.

Really? Yeah. What I was gonna do, what if I did this? Yeah. What if I made a t-shirt that says, I have one of Bert's shirts? And then if you buy that t-shirt for like what? I'm just saying I'm gonna cover it shipping.

So you buy one of those shirts, I have one of Bert's shirts. I put another one of my shirts in there. Same size as what you bought. Oh yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. They're all extra hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Same size as what you, are you on a medium? Yeah, I got that for you. You have a lot of mediums, Bert. I woke up laughing. I can't, I know this is a different episode. I woke up laughing Ellis is about two weeks I'm laughing I told it to I don't leave I told it to lace I've told it to everyone it might be my favorite thing I've heard

I don't really know I want to laugh two weeks about two weeks I've been doing this thing for a long time. I don't know. I won't know what happened. Two weeks. Two weeks. About two weeks. Oh, that's good. Two weeks is good.

That's what we're gonna do. Rachel, does that sound like a good idea? We do, I bought one of Bird's shirts. You know how much of a logistical nightmare you're just saying before. How many shirts are you gonna do this with? I have roughly a thousand shirts. Do you really wanna do that for a thousand shirts?

Alright, scratch this idea right now. I'm giving away my f**k! My underwear! Never say... You're just throwing a bag and taking it to goodwill. You're gonna fucking hate that you did this so much. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! It's like two weeks ago. It's the same thing as two weeks ago. It's like you don't know what you're talking about. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! I hate that you already have a good new hour. Like all the shit you told me is all fucking stuff for a new hour. That other thing fucking murdered. What, which one?

The thing that I did live with you, that you're like, you gotta tell that on stage. Remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I forgot. It was about him going downstairs with his drink. Oh, yeah. I have nothing new. And I fucking, that killed it.

Oh, all right, I'm gonna figure, because here's the thing, I have a vision, right? Like, Leanne's got a shirt I bought when I was in shape and I was younger, and it just says, I love Detroit on it. It's like a cool. I thought about last night, by the way. If I get thought about you on Rachel Ray,

I was like, holy shit, how unrecognizable. Yeah. And like, also how your face looked like a cartoon on top of your face. It was so big and animated. Hard. And then I couldn't stop thinking about how unrecognizable I was in the shaving video. You know what else? You don't even look like the same person.

You know what else? You look better now. Yeah. Thank God. I look fucking disgusting and skinny. But yeah, that, that shit was crazy. But here's the thing. So that was 15 years ago. You know what's crazy? I was thinking about this last night. What? That is 15 years ago and I'm recognizable. And then a few years prior to that, I'm unrecognizable to what you see there. Do you know what I mean? Like three years before that, you wouldn't recognize me there.

I would argue your comedy has changed with your looks. Really? Yeah. How so? Because I think you play, you definitely played to what you looked like then. Yeah. Like, you know, like sloppy. Yeah, and but it's so funny, I remember you looked like then. Yeah. Like, you know, like, uh...

Sloppy. Yeah, and, but it's so funny, I remember you buying like nice stuff to wear to do Conan. Like you bought like a nice shirt and issues. Yeah. And I remember it was, it's silly when a fat person buys nice things. Because like when I buy like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's almost like you gave up and you go, yeah, I'll get it.

And then, yeah, yeah. You're like, holy shit, have you seen Billy Gardell lately? Yes. Dude, you put him Billy Gardell. Talk about I'm recognizable. I love Billy and I'm happy that he lost the weight. Is it, who gives a fuck? He looks, he looks, like he looks like a different person.

Type into Oscars, type into Oscars. He said the Oscars? Or was he the Oscars the other day? Yeah, but he was there. Oh yeah, I guess. No. I mean, first of all, he looks fucking great. I mean, he looks, he looks. For people that don't know, tap one of those other pictures.

That was Billy. I mean, like, yeah, full body. Like, he's, uh, he was a big dude. That's not even him and his biggest, by the way. Yeah. Uh, that he, um, he must a big dude. That's not even him and his biggest, by the way. Yeah. Uh, that he, um, he must have lost 200 pounds. Ah, he must have lost a ton of fucking. Like him?

Yeah, yeah, look at him right there. I don't even remember my mic, I'm all like, wow. One of those photos, I was probably not photoshopped. No. I'm not getting bigger. No. Yeah. I mean, it's a significant amount.

It's a significant amount. And I mean, good for him, because who gives a fuck, he gets to see his kid grow up. Yeah. You see, meet his grandkids, like he wasn't gonna meet his grandkids on my comolecise. No. He wasn't gonna see his son get married on my comolecise.

That's a sad, I mean, and by the way, your quality of life, they're talking about, they're saying Clint Eastwood. This is why we're about to shoot up with steroids. Yeah, and we will. We're gonna shoot up with steroids because I've been doing it my stomach and I have shows

and I'm bruising on my stomach and you do it in the ass. And so I want you to teach me how to do it in the ass. I'll show you, okay. And so clip that out, would you? So, but here's the deal. They haven't seen Clint Eastwood in like, in like nine months. Right? He's like 90. Yeah, it's saying it's osteoporosis. And I argue that it's from lifting trembling. Yeah, and I was like, oh, wow. Like, we were at one point doing, I was one point doing 150 squats, 150 burpees and 150 pushups. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I was like, I'm not going to lose.

If I was really wanted that long jet, like if you were, if you could fast forward to being 80, like what would make me like have a healthy lifestyle mobility at this age? We would all be so much more dedicated to yoga, you know that that's who ends up like Moving around well at that age. Well, I'm doing I'm I'm going don't hold me to this, but I'm not gonna drink this weekend. I'm gonna go back to a sober October You are yeah, except I enjoyed it on the road. I don't mind it. How long are you gonna do it for?

I was gonna do, I was gonna do a month. I just wanna be like, that's great. I was, yeah, well, don't hold me to it. I could. One month? Yeah, my only problem is I had like, I had caveats. Like, I didn't have a problem not drinking on the road. That was, that actually wasn't a big deal. I didn't have a problem working out on the road. I didn't have a problem with any of the road. That was actually wasn't a big deal.

I didn't have a problem working out on the road. I didn't have a problem with any of this shit. My only caveat was the flying. Did you think, tell me you're like, remember that two bears were you're like, I'm never gonna drink for a flight. Yeah, yeah, I've held to it pretty much. Really?

Yeah, I mean, there's been times like, like when we flew to Vegas, we flew through like, fucking Newarker, JFK. Ier JFK and I forget where it was, but it was Absolute chaos and I was having a panic attack and Pete just put down two two T-dozen sodas and he's like just fucking relax. It's not that big video But yeah, I I've been pretty good. I could use private sweet so private sweet's been you know It's it helps with all the fucking anxiety, but I get worked up, I can't,

I don't have any anxiety right now. Right now I'm no anxiety, zero. On stage, zero anxiety, but it rears its head after this. Like after this, we'll get done, and I'll start, it starts feeling like I'm sick, like all of a sudden it's like, everything gets a little smaller and I'm like,

hmm, so after this. After, immediately after this, I have no control over it, I have none. Like my nose, this area will get tight, I'll have zero control over it and I just would be like, great, it's happening. So I don't know, I wish I could get control of that. I'm like, I can't, I've tried everything. I told, I went to therapy and said, I have a problem flying and would be like, great, it's happening. So I don't know, I wish I could get in control of that. I'm like, I can't, I've tried everything.

I told, I went to therapy and said, I have a problem flying. And they were like, when was the last time you flew and I was like, yesterday? And they're like, you're not a problem. That was it? That was their explanation? Yeah. I would get a new therapist.

What an adiption. What were we talking about before this? How? Oh, you look different. You did look different. You're act changed based on what you looked like. You think so? Yeah, but not globally, but like subtly. Yeah.

I mean, I think it's funny. I've noticed that my fattest, I definitely, I have had more jokes about my weight in it. Like, without any... But that's natural, right? Because like, you know, when you have kids, you start talking about the fact you have kids, it's your reality.

Yeah. So like, when I was at my heaviest, I had some jokes about it, but it wasn't like my act. I wasn't like, my act is being... It wasn't like, Ralphie had it, Ralphie had it, or Ralphie had like... Yeah, yeah, he saw, one time he saw me

when I had lost some weight and he goes, man, keep losing weight, you're gonna lose your whole act. I go, I'm not you. Like, I'm, what are you talking about? People said that to me. Like if you lose weight, you know, you just won't have an act. And I went, that's right, I don't, I no longer have a daughter or wife.

Yeah, what are you talking about? Yeah, I'm fucking, and you that's right. I don't, I no longer have a daughter or wife. Yeah, what are you talking about? Yeah. Fucking, and you're telling me I can't, I can't tell the machine anymore. I was like, come on, player. You don't think I'm gonna have nothing else to talk about? That Ralphie would fuck up food. Yeah.

I mean, he would do it at a just a different clip. What, let's see Ralph, what was Ralphie's, I would do it at just a different clip. Let's see Ralph. What was Ralph, he's... He had an ability to stand up. You know one of the first places, well in places I, a couple of places I worked in LA for food.

Jesus Christ, he was big. Was Chibo. You ever go to... Chibo on sunset? No. There's a place called Chibo on sunset and When it first opened we did like pizzas and Italian food it was like counter service

Yeah, I think it changed it evolved until like an actual Wait wait staff kind of restaurant, but he came in one time He ordered like a extra large pizza. And he had a, I want to say he had a Toyota four runner. And it pulled up front. And I remember I saw the four runner pull up front and I didn't know who was in it. And when he got out, the four runner raised like six inches. It was like, like this.

And he came in, yeah, he just came in and tore up that pizza dude. The big guy. It's funny that, like, the genuinely fat people, meaning like, like, obviously, I guess I'm fat, I don't really see it. I think I look fucking awesome. I actually think I look awesome. That's great.

You have a real different perspective than, like, I mean, it's, I guess, it's healthy, because, like, you know, most people who are in, like, even, like, I mean, I guess it's healthy because like, you know, most people who are in like, even like, pretty like pretty solid shape, they go like, oh fuck, and they hate themselves, and they talk shit to themselves. And you're the only guy I've been around who's like, you know what you do is like, you actually, everybody has something they can focus on that's good about themselves, and they don't they ignore it, they go, but what about what sucks? I hate this fat here on my stuff and you're like how fucking awesome are my shoulders? Yeah, well that's I mean no, it's very like it's very interesting like you really focus on what's good Yeah, I have a fantastic feet. I have great calves. I have dominant shoulders fucking awesome arms arms. Nice hands. I have beautiful hands,

beautiful hands. And my skin's perfect. Look how nice my hands are now. Your hands look skinny. I wonder if my wedding ring will not get that off. But I used to like, look how I used to bite them all the time. Oh really? Yeah, you didn't notice that. No. And like now they're fucking... time. Oh really? Yeah, you didn't notice that. No. And like now they're fucking. They're nice. But what I was trying to say was that genuinely fat people are embarrassed by, like, if you called them out on how they eat, yeah, like I'll tell you I was headed the name out, but I saw a. At a ice cream shop one time. Yeah. And I thought he was ordering for a family. As he walked to his car, he was like four things. Yeah.

And I was like, oh, I didn't even know you had kids. And he's like, I don't. And I was like, huh? And I just saw him getting the car with four things. And I went, he's keeping that for me. Yeah, but I would never say his name because I know that don't Google him. He's all for us.

Just don't show that. Yeah, it's for us. But like, I remember going like, He lost a bunch of weight. Yeah, yeah, but I would never, I would never say that, because I know that he would be sensitive about that. Like Ralphie used to hide his eating.

Like he wouldn't, there would be parts of him he didn't know what was happening. Sure. And if you called him out on his eating, like when I, we went in a sushi and he went, he made like $2,000 worth of sushi. He bothered him that I'd tell that story.

Like he'd be like, I'll play a, you don't think you drank $2,000 worth of alcohol? Yeah, of course. I'd be dead. I'd be dead. Yeah, yeah, I know too. And then if you talk about what you ate, I've done this, where I've been like, yeah, you know,

and I gain weight. And then you talk to one of these guys, they're like, you're not overweight. You don't have a problem. And you been like, yeah, you know, and I gained weight. And then you talk to one of these guys who they're like, you're not overweight. You don't have a problem. And you're like, okay. Well, it's funny you sit me next to like, I was, you know, I saw the,

I watched a very short episode, a clip of the Shultz and Akash, and whatever the fucking show is, Flagrant, too. I was watching a little clip of Flagrant, too. I'm so much larger of a man than those guys. Yeah. Like I am just like you

just look at my shoulders. Yeah. And my shoulders like my head is large. Everything's larger. Yeah, you're bigger. And so I did dream last night. I was telling Pete that I was buying spin shoes. And there is this these two Puerto Rican guys. They're behind me. And they were like, Hey, if you could just move this faster because we ain't buying spin shoes. And I was like, I was like, and there was, we were in between shoe boxes. Like, imagine if the exit line for the Nike store but it was like a whole line with shoe boxes.

Through the closet, basically. Yeah. And so I was like, oh, hang on. And I turned around to go, I meant to say, if you were a little nicer than I would be happy to help you, but with that attitude, you're not gonna get anything from me. But for some reason, my finger got under his chin and I went, like that, and they were like,

whoa, you ready for this? This was in a dream. I had this in a dream. In a dream, I said, I chose not to say something, I saw a director say to a guy. I chose not to say anything ego-wise. I asked someone to hold the shoe boxes because these guys were like, oh, it's like that.

It's like that. And I said in my head, I benched 265 pounds, stabilize your feet and throw this man across the room. And I grabbed him and I shoved him like a fucking movie. He went 30 feet like, ah, ah, ah, through shoe boxes. And everyone's like, what the fuck? I grabbed the other guy and started pounding his fucking face. I've never been that destructive in a dream.

In a dream. It was felt so good. I woke up like pissed off like fuck yeah. You got some pent up rage though. So for people that don't know, if you're listening right now, Bert has his Gucci Fanny pack. It's my gear bag. His Gucci gear bag on the table.

If you take out half my gear, let's see, let's do this. I don't ever do this right. Yeah, that's the one you want. Yeah. All right. Hang on. You got it first off.

Let me, I don't know, we're getting in trouble for shooting gear. I don't think so So So you do it in your ass. Yeah, how do you do it in your ass? I'll show you Here let's not try to everyone touch my gear cuz you're sick. I'm gonna do it. No, I'm gonna do no I'm gonna do new gear you gotta watch your hands to do your gear. I think now you don't for real This hang on hang on stop Stop stop. I don't like the way you're handling my gear stop. No, you got it hang on

You got to fucking wipe it off and stop and get like a look at it. Yeah, look at it like a good call rates good call Good call. Okay, so number one you go like this I'll go all swab there. Okay, okay, wait hold on. Let me let me do the drawing. I like enjoying my gear You're gonna tell me I could do it. I'm gonna fill it up. You're gonna I don't afraid you'll overfill my gear Okay, and then where do you shoot it in your ass? Just write in your cheek, okay hold on So for everyone wandering this is called Deca and a wind-ball top.

It's straight up. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, you don't want to do it like that. That's how I do it. No, take the air out first. That's how you want to do it. What? It's a much better draw that way.

So pull out the amount you're going to take. Okay? Leave it like that. Leave it like that. We're at 35. Okay, leave it like that. Let me see. Take it all the way down to 30. It's fine. Let's take it to 30. Take it like that. Right there, 25. Okay, leave it like that. I want to see. Take it all the way down to 30, it's fine.

Let's take it to 30. Take it to 30. And put it in. It's almost not here before. Put it in there. And now push that air in. And now pull back. It's the same.

No, it's probably flowing better. That's flowing a little bit better. So how much do you shoot? 20. Oh shit. Does that mean I'm manlier? I think it means you need more. My testosterone is really fucking low. Really?

Yeah, but there's so many bubbles in my gear now. No, you're fine. You can put a little bubble in your body, right? A little bit's fine. Yeah, I take it down to 28. Who's gonna know? I'll do it all the time. I know you do.

It is T. No shit. He's joking. He's joking. Yeah. Don't. Don't. If anyone thinks I'm fucking using anabolic steroids.

Okay, now. All right. Take it up back up to 25 just yeah you're good don't do too crazy. 25 and then pull that needle right out. There you go. All right, okay now I'll show you. I know with this you got this is very important. What? You're fine little little. I'm putting you more. Okay, so You're fine little little. I'm putting it in one. Okay, so.

Alright, here you hold my gear. Okay. And then, where do you do it? So like, right, I go right here. Okay, hang on. So you saw where I wiped? Yeah, I did. Okay, ready?

Yep. Boom. There's... How'd you do that so quick? Just popped it in and did it man. Wow. Doesn't that feel better than the stomach? Yeah. You know it takes me like a solid like...

Why don't we're done? Do you know it takes me forever to get it in? Really? Yeah. Why? I have no idea. Oh, I can feel it. Oh, dude.

Pull up chicks with big tits. Chicks with big tits and nerds. So this is the part that bothers Pete. What's that? Is that I leave these needles out? Well, that would probably bother any of the most reasonable people. Wait, so you just shove it right in? Yeah. You don't like it right in? Yeah. You don't like to slow push?

No. Really? I enjoy the process and my stomach to watch it. I don't know if I'm able to stick in my ass again because I can't see my ass. You can just feel a spot. Really? Yeah.

Hey man, how's your turn right? How's your turn right? I'm shooting up my gear. No problem, bro. Fuck you. We usually do it for each other in the locker room after our lifts. For real? Yeah.

That's what Arnold said that day when people were like, We usually do it for each other in the locker room after our lifts. For real? Yeah. That's an Arnold said that when people are like, you know, they're like, do you guys really do steroids? He was like, yeah, we all did. We would shoot each other up after we worked out. Like, they should have after they workout. That was their thing. Like, I guess back in the 70s or whatever, they would just like shoot up together after their workouts. I feel it immediately, and then I suppose to.

I mean, really? Immediately. I feel phenomenal after it. I feel so fucking good. I'll tell you, I'm sleeping better. Good. I'm sleeping so fucking good lately. That's a big one. And like, my recovery has been phenomenal

considering my pace of work has been fucking insane. Yeah, it really has been. I mean, I kind of enjoy getting on the road, because everything kind of slows down. On the road? Yeah. And you're like, oh, good. That's the big lie about getting off the road. Is there like, now you're off the road? Oh, that's when everything ramps up.

Dude, I, uh... Yeah, man, I can feel the road. That's when everything ramps up. Dude, I, uh, yeah, man, I can feel the pulse. Do you remember the first time you shot gear? Yeah, yeah. Do you like it? I mean, I had the same thing where I was like, this is cool. Yeah. It's so cool, man. So cool. If you're a young kid watching this, man, you definitely should get here. Get here. Yeah.

Especially if you're like, you know, right in that pre-adult age. That's good. Now, your body's producing so much of it then. I remember my most, I remember my most, me at my most testosterone-y. Yeah. I can almost pinpoint the day. Well, now you can also, I remember my most, me at my most testosterone. Yeah. I can almost pinpoint the day.

Well, now you can also, now you realize too when people are like, what happens as you age, it is that like when I played basketball like a month ago against that dude, you know, the adrenaline spike was so crazy, I'm not used to playing jumping and doing all that shit every day. Yeah. My soreness lasted like fucking a week and a half. And you go, the difference is like when you're 16, 18, 20 years old, you go, you do that next day, you'd be like, let's go play basketball again. Yeah. And like now, it's so much different.

It's so much different. Can I tell you this isn't the equivalent? But I can't eat McDonald's anymore. Really? If I eat McDonald's, I end up getting sick. That's probably a good to listen to, like listen to your body on that. Like if I have McDonald's at Mark Norman's Bachelor Party,

and I've got physically sick, like food poisoning sick. Would you eat? Would you have? I was out of control. Really? Yeah. I mean, I didn't have like I was out of control. Really? Yeah. I mean, I didn't have like a burger.

I talked, I would probably like four burgers and then had a big up big Mac and then went fries. And you're like, and I got sick. I ate five things, I don't know what was I got. Something happened. Shamrock Shake with whiskey. I mean, it was bad. Yeah, this fucking wrecked me.

Like really? Yeah. Yeah. The amount of of soreness, and that's like, you know, this is this gear is supposed to help with that. That's, I love it. I would love to know. I would love if everyone posted their gear dosage. Yeah.

Yeah, cause I wanna know what people are up to. Do you wanna get like, I'm a full stack though. Yeah. You wanna do this? Oh, definitely. I'm not gonna, I not do it. I know, HGH. We're not, so what's the difference of what to do this? Oh, definitely. Once. I'm not going to not do it. I know HGH. We're not.

So what's the difference of what we're on? We're just on testosterone. You're just getting testosterone. And that just goes, and then you just feel like, and we're getting, you're getting to like a, what's called a healthy, normal range level. Like there's a range, and you're, this is helping you stay in that ideal range.

Yeah. I mean, there's people that, and then they don't, I'm not recommending this. You should not do this, but there's people who take an amount that is way out of the range on the high side. And you know, you see those dudes, like in gym, some sort of stuff. They put on, put in a best anabolic steroids. Yeah. Best. Like, well, I don't know if that's the I wouldn't know the best like what I would mind I want to see what like what like yeah, we're like list of anabolic list of anabolic steroids, you know best for Jack dudes Let's see. Oh, here we go So anodrol I've heard of that. Yeah, it's draw. That's oral, and I'm not thinking of that shit. Injectible. Dekka.

Dekka. Dura Balin. Depo. Depo testosterone. Yeah. And now, oh, here's wind straw. I remember a lot of people that... Wind straw.

It's actual oral. I'll take wind straw. I know. You know where I knew a bunch of... Put a negative side effects of wind straw. Right. You know, a bunch of people who's doing a ton of steroids was FSU. Really? Like a football team? Well, a couple that were probably on it, but a dude's that with FSU. Really? Like on the football team?

Well, a couple that were probably on it, but dudes that were just students. Oh, dude. There's, I gotta be honest with you, just oh, there's shows men. New act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, vomiting, change in exkin color, ankle swelling, not bad. I mean, all things I already kind of have. Yeah, wind straw steroids. Oh, look, that dude's, look at the acne.

That would bump me out if I was that jacked, but I had that bad skin. Yeah. Yeah. So then, so then there's, what did Arnold use? I'm not sure. Yeah. Type in what steroids did Arnold Schwarzenegger use?

And this is how we'll never have a monitor of podcast. Now he would talk about it. Really? I think so. Yeah. HGH is what Barry Bond's used, right? Yeah, all those dudes. Well, he was on, they were on T, HGH.

All the players were on it back then. Oh, doing his, let's it? There's teens? You can't use them in your teens. He was known to you to take anything available. Test, debaul, Stanislaw, Primal and Dekka and Drah. He was on a full stack, dude. According to, I mean, we should say this is just a fucking, you know, an internet answer.

We don't, it's not him saying it. But this is saying the same thing. Basically, he was dianna ball, Primal Bowl, We don't it's not him saying it, but this is saying the same thing Basically was Diana ball Primable and testosterone deck of wind straw and Anna bar god damn. That is a lot of shit That's a lot of shit. Yeah, but also look at those guys. They don't have like that's not a natural dudes build as much as he worked at it You know, I always thought I really honestly always thought Arnold Schwarzenegger was natural look at that fucking body Come on, man. So I'll never look like that.

I don't know. Don't, I mean, don't forget to like, what am I saying, I'll never look like that. I don't know how about dedication. Can you imagine? I don't even know if I have those muscles in my body. Well, they're in there. Isn't it crazy that I have those muscles

should be in my body? And I'm, and I just thought I couldn't even find them. No, that's a real crazy level. That one. Yeah. That's a real crazy level he got too, man. Yeah. All those guys, all the pro body builders. I mean, but they are like, you know, most of them are on like when that tea, they're

filling up that syringe. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, their testosterone is through the roof. Through the roof. And then and look at, have you seen Flex Wheelers having a hard time walking now? Is he really? Yeah, not crazy.

I'm just fussing, of course, I can do my band. Yeah, I know some of them. So, you know, that, that sip you name, I think it's called a testosterone sip you name. So, you're taking, Did you data for do it? No, nothing.

For real? No, he didn't take vitamins, dude. He didn't take anything. Shut. He just ate steaks. But, so you're taking 75 units a week, right? 25, 50, 75. Some of those hardcore power lift your bodybuilders

are taking 200 units each time they inject. So I'm taking a pussy amount. Compared to these guys, yeah. I need to step up my feet. Look, this fucking guy with like, with sitting there with his arms, across in front of himself, sitting there forward, facing forward. Holy shit.

Is that a real photo? Oh my god, that's a real human. That's a real guy, that's not photo-fuck. That's not photo-fuck. What the, it's gotta be a Photoshop, right? Is that a real guy? You got it. You got to be kidding me.

That's fucking insane. Yeah, like that dude's not taking 20 units at a time. Good God, look at that. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. You wanna look like that? Nope. I would mind, I mean, I kinda, that's fucking crazy. You wanna look like that? Nope. I would mind, I mean, I kinda, that's not real, that's gotta be Photoshopped.

I can't be a real fucking photo. Have you ever seen the Iranian Hulk? Yeah. That guy, that was Photoshopped. Yeah. My buddy, follow this guy. Look at this guy. Have you ever seen my buddy Martin?

Martin? Yeah. Martin Ford, type in Martin Ford. Is it Martin? Martin? Yeah, Martin Ford type in Martin Ford Is it funny years? Yeah, here's in my he's in the movie. Oh, yes. I know you're talking about yeah, he is Falking he's jacked jacked. I mean jacked and the sweetest got the sweetest goofy a sky look at that We're gonna be next to the Iranian Hulk. Dude, let's get tatted up like that. You want to get tatted up? Yeah. Look at the Iranian Hulk.

Oh my God. Don't you want to get some like, what we got? Well, I mean, since we're doing gear, like I think it looks right when you get tatted. Should we do a tip, a tip, or like an arm thing? Sleeve. Yeah.

Want to get identicalve? Yeah. Won't you get identical sleeves? Yeah. You want some tribal shit? Oh, yeah. Do you want to go to Hawaii and have them do? Yeah. Uh-huh. That's what I'd want.

Yeah. Is that cultural appropriation? I think my costume's not your culture. I think as long as maybe they make us like do some shit to earn it, you know? Oh. Like walk across our earn it, you know, oh Like walk across our coals Swim out swim out to a big thing kill a white family. Yeah

Oh Like that it's bad like the Jason Mamoas shit. He's got dope fucking sick his are dope those are fucking sick. Yeah I would love that. I mean, what I'd want them to do, I bet it takes fucking forever. Yeah. Probably hurts like a mother fucker. Oh, fuck. Type in. Whoa. I love. Can I tell you why I love when the Maori dudes go full face their face. Yes, bad ass. Now, if I was going to do tats, I really do think that Hawaiian shit is the fucking coolest. Can we do Hawaiian tats? Can we do Hawaiian tats?

I don't think so, I mean, you can, the answer is yes, someone will do it because you're going to pay him. You can't go swimming on vacation on Hawaii anymore. I know. So you got to do it like on the... I do it all over my cock. You can do it there. I know, I'll be bad ass. So you got to do it like on the... I do it all over my cock. You can do it there. I know. I'll be bad ass. So bad ass. And then I get it's hard and just... And people are like,

wow. I like the leg. I like the... I'm by the way, I'm not a leg guy with with touch, but that one's Did you type in Cocdick? Cocdick? Let's see. Oh my god, look at that first one. Whoa. That's kind of what you're talking about. That's actually not that bad looking. There's keep you so in. What's the green one? Is that a dragon?

Nope. Top left, top left. And I hope that these were all in Google and these. Look at that. That's wild. I feel like. It would be weird if that was your one to two. Your one, yeah. Yeah, that was your only.

Whoa, whoa. That's a pretty good one. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. Oh, wow. How do you good. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. Oh. Oh wow, how do you pee? I don't know. I hope people are,

how do we have a link up so people, we should have a Patreon where people can see the picture. How about that guy that's doing front and back full body? Is he, Jesus man. Yeah, that's so, that's too much. All right, let's just go back to the arm. Yeah, let's go.

What's the rocks to two? I don't, I would like to see his, because he's got, he's got the tit with the arm. Are you gonna do the army on surgery on? He should. Well, that's the thing, do you just leave your scar as the thing and then tattoo the other arm?

And that's kind of cool, right? It's pretty back in, I don't know. That is fucking badass. We believe the scar is showing. Yeah. Because I tell people, you know, when they, they're like, how did no, no. That is fucking badass. We believe the scar is showing. Yeah. Cause I tell people, you know, when they, they're like, how did you get that? I go to Afghanistan.

I get two tours. The rocks are pretty badass. Yeah, those are cool. He's on major gear. Geared. We're just like the rock. Yeah, I think he's on a higher dosage. Yeah.

I got his just a little extra tea. Yeah. Didn't Joe get in trouble? Or not yet, and obviously Joe doesn't get in trouble, but didn't when they're beef that when he was like the rock needs to tell everyone what he's using. I don't know. What did he say?

Did the rock say anything? I think by the way, I'm paraphrasing. I'm paraphrasing a a Twitter twat, twat, twat, twat, twit. Tweet? I'm, I don't know what I'm trying to say. I'm paraphrasing a beef, Twitter beef, because I think they went, I don't think they went back or forth, or I think people tried to, tried to make it a thing, and it may have not been a thing,

but I think Joe said something like, he's definitely on something, and he should be honest. I mean, he's 50. Yeah. He's our age, my age. He's younger than you. And so he's older than me. Yeah, older, whatever.

And so I guess we're going to keep doing that about your age. So. Seven years younger than you. But the rock. Seven. You know, people are shocked when they say that. Of course. They go, wait, you're older than Tom. I go, yeah, the oven. Seven. You know, people are shocked when they say that. Of course. They go, wait, you're older than Tom.

I go, yeah, I know. And now that I'm on tea, they're gonna be like, wait, I thought you guys were like, he was your older brother. So he said that the rock should be honest with what he's using. Yeah, because kids should know. I think it's a fair thing to say, don't you?

I'd be, I'm just curious, I don't really give a fuck. Not okay. You're gonna be that dude or you're not gonna be that dude. No, but the reason that he's saying that is because, when you know say that, it gets people to impression, oh, all I gotta do is work out and be dedicated. Yeah. And I'll look like that.

And it's like, that's not entirely true. That's not. And his, I mean, that's why, that's why Joe's saying you should, you know, if you have a huge platform and you're super famous and you look like that, be like, oh yeah, I do work out really hard. I do take care of myself, but by the way. I am fucking gasped up.

Yeah. Yeah, of course. What's crazy is like, you saw a video of Barry Bond's, the other day, Barry Bond used to be fucking, I mean, it was in a Hank Aaron documentary. Yeah. And it really made his documentary. And Barry Bonds now looks like, like a regular, like a regular

person. Yeah, I mean, that's him. That's him rookie, like, as a rookie on the left there. Like, so skinny, 47. Yeah, so crazy. Look at that size of that guy. Well, what's Barry Bonds look like now, like a Ray-Bonds? I've been Barry Bonds now. 2023 or... He's just like a... That's him right now?

Yeah. Hi guys. Yeah, he shrunk down again. Barry Bonds has got like the like a like a the least gangster voice you've ever heard. There's this article out somebody's, I think Jeff Tates sent me about how, like unequivocally he is by far the greatest player of all time. Like the stat wise, they did.

They broke down the note, his stats and his, how one year, like his on base percentage was so astronaut, it was like comically good. So we, so Barry bonds and Mark McGuire and Roger Clemens, they're never gonna get into the Hall of Fame because it is steroids. I don't know. I mean, it seems like the, you know, the,

the, I know that the journalists and shit, look at, look at that, look at this. What is that three 76 one? That third one from the, yeah, the next one. Look at that. Look at that stat right there. In 2024. Because that's a few. You reach 2004. He reached base safely 367 times. 76. 76 times. He got to bat 373 times. Now that's got to be, well, that's got to bat 373 times now that's gotta be well that's gotta be But that mean he only had six outs Or three outs

No, I know a lot of walks that's what I was gonna say there's a lot of walks in there But that means that he only only three times he got out That's crazy. Yeah, it's pretty nuts. It was crazy when you see like dudes with legit swings. Yeah. Like it's funny. I I enjoy taking batting practice whenever I can. Like I do it.

I did it at my high school. I do it when we do fully loaded. I do all of it. But like my swing is nothing compared to dude, their dudes on the internet who's swing. Yeah, that they have videos and they're just dudes with great swings who don't play professional baseball. Yeah, they just have ink and they hit bombs.

I was watching this guy, I think it was that Notre Dame, hit him off a church. Like he was just hitting classes, like it was insane. You can see the same types of dudes. Okay. Most of queer home runs, most home runs in a single season and most queer walks. Yeah. He's the fucking animal dude. There's dudes who have those same types of golfs like their driver swings. Well, you see they don't know how to, they're, they're passable golfers. Like they have a decent game, but the real thing is they know how to drive and they swing that thing and you're like holy shit

Dude that well, you know, that's what happened with Tiger is that he fucked his back. Yeah, cuz of his torque cuz his torn Yeah, I wonder why Tiger doesn't shave his head Yeah, he lives that he leaves that like it's an interesting look Dad hair. Yeah, like it's an interesting look for a guy who clearly possibly has to have a stylist, right? Billy and air. Billy and air. Yeah, that's a weird choice. Is this an odd, I guess he's just a happy dude, he doesn't care.

I don't know. He's got great teeth. And those are natural teeth. Really? I've had those his whole life, yeah. Seriously? I think so. Typing Tiger Woods teeth. Tiger Woods teeth.

That's always been a good idea. Yeah, dude, right. They'll do it look real teeth. Yeah. He's got great fucking teeth. That hair is a weird choice. He's got fake tooth. He got a tooth knocked out. No. I'm going to spend the sex wife. What's up with the out chick? She's doing all right. She's doing all right. Yeah. That would be great. That would be fucking awesome.

Yeah. Fuck yeah. What? To be her? Yeah. How fucking great. He's fucking loaded with money. Yeah. Fucking. You loaded with money. Yeah. Fucking, you can get whatever, I mean,

just, shut up, do a thing. Shut up, do a thing. Can you imagine being rich without a schedule that started at 6 a.m., my schedule starts every morning at 6 a.m., no matter what I do the night before, it is I am up at 6 a.m. There are people either in my bedroom, in my fucking hotel room, or opening my curtain

in my bunk at 6am. That's how my day starts every fucking day. And always, I mean, usually last time I ended up fucking nine. I got married nine, I was kidding. Because of you. Because I looked at you and I went, I was like, God, he looks like fucking fresh. And I was like, I'm not gonna fucking do it to myself, and I almost did.

I almost did. You know, let's turn it up. I almost turned it up, because it's my one night home and Leanne's there. And I saw her, she went over to the wine thing. I leave the quarks and the wine thing, and then they go out of battery and you can't get the quark out anymore.

So you have to buy the wine thing. And I started doing that and I was like, here we go. We're getting wine. And then I just went, I'm going to bed. I'm getting in bed. And so I got in bed. I watched the documentary on Netflix about the Asian airline disaster. Yeah, I watched that. Yeah. MH370. Yeah. Did you finish it?

I passed out. What happened with it? Man, that is a... First of all, it's really well done. That time. Yeah. So I think it's a three-part series. Because you know how you remember...

It's like you remember these big events, but you a, I think it's a three part series. Because you know how you like, you remember, it's like you remember these big events, but you forget the details sometimes. Like you're like, oh yeah, I remember that, playing the disappeared. That's basically what I remember. Yeah. And they fucking break down how,

like in really great detail. How, well, first of all, what was the three Russian theory? Man, there's so many theories on this thing. So one theory is the pilot was depressed and filled out every one of that. Merchus, I think. The one theory was three Russian dudes turned off

the responder. Yeah, because there was also Russia at the time, this was 2014. I think this was like, right as a Crimea thing was going on, like they were, you know, taking Crimea back. I think that's what it was, like, it was, right? They were, I think that was exactly at that time. And let's see, does it have the Russian, does it say Russian theory in there down there? If you scroll down.

But it's absolutely fascinating. So first of all, the plane loses radar contact everything as it's going into Vietnamese airspace. It's going to Beijing. So when it doesn't arrive, they search the area in the South China Sea where that radar I turned off. And then a few days later, they have that ins, what is it called?

It's in the dock, but Imran to whatever, yeah, had sent a signal that the plane had actually diverted left to Malaysia and then started going towards the south Indian ocean. And they're like, what in the fuck? And there's nothing even remotely where you could land a plane down there. It's just open C.

As soon as they found out that, they were like, this is, this, they didn't live. And the other problem is the Malaysians are fucking, they're dirty. That came out wrong. The Malaysian government's dirty. They don't wanna come out, they don't wanna. They didn't release like any information. They didn't want to release any information.

Because they didn't want to look like they didn't know what the fuck they were doing, but they did not know what the fuck they were doing. And they still held on. But anyway, yeah, so was this. Do you think I'm smarter than the Malaysian president? When I watched this thing, I was like, this guy looks like a fucking absolute moron. Yeah, they did a terrible job.

They did a terrible job. Yeah, a bit of we both took the SAT. I fucking smoked it. But then they were. And they had that guy. That was mostly if it was in English. They had that guy. You haven't gotten to that part yet.

Who was like, you know, he had a smarter than Putin. I mean, he's a pretty dick. He's a sharp dude. There's a dick though. But like don't forget he was also. Oh, yeah, he's a highly. He's a dick. He's a sharp dude though. He's a dick though. Don't forget, he was also a highly KGB trained, you know. Do you think you know spy? I think he's gonna find out. Oh yeah, that's right.

I'm coming your way, bitch. Keep going. One of the machine drops. Yeah. What if that is like, what if it really, really pops off in Russia? Like they're like, you know what I mean? Like right now, there's probably some, you know, fan, you know. I don't know if, really pops off in Russia? Like they're like, you know what I mean? Like right now, there's probably some, you have fans,

like, you know, you're- I don't know if I have any fans in Russia. Well, you know what I'm saying? There's a few people in Russia. Hey, pull up Google Trends and see what, if I'm trending in Russia. I tell if they have Netflix. Okay, keep going.

But how do you tell if it's Russia? Type in BERTher bird Chrysher. Yeah, you'll see me. You'll see hang on hang on Okay, and then this is this day. Oh nice go to see United States go down and go to Russia. Oh wow, okay Go to Russia You love Google trends. I do go to Russia. You love Google Trends. I do. Go to Russia. Okay. Okay, hang on. Now go to, see what it says,

past day. Go to five past five years. Nope. Not good. Go to, go to 2004 to the present. Wow. Not good go to go to the four two thousand four to the president Wow, wow so the spike is no for yeah like there's no one in Russia that is in 04 I was I was Pretty big in Russia. Why why oh four?

What's going on in oh four there? I have no idea. I mean, that's a significant spike. Yeah. Wow. There's gotta be a different, a different, a different, a different, a different,

a different, a different, a different, a different, a different, a different, a different, different,

different, different, different, different, different, different, I like how you're like that must be it. I'm in Georgia, I guess Georgia. Holy shit, and done tell, done tell anything. Like what they were Googling. So we're talking, ooh, wait. I know I hadn't done Rogan. Oh my God, that's my name in Russian. Oh it is? Yeah.

Ooh. Uh, copy that. Copy that. Here you go. Yeah, that's it. I thought you did it, you did it, you did it. So then my name was trending in Russia in 2004. This is a rock. All right, anyway, keep going.

Well, look, one of the things of that that M.A.S.P. 70 is like, one point they're like, there's no, you know, we've been searching for, for ever now for a year, two years, and they can't find any debris. Like, you know, there's gotta be some, I mean, obviously the ocean is vast and enormous and deep, but then this guy is like, I'm gonna go find debris and he just talks to some people and they're like, it would be like on the coast of Mozambique or something. So he flies there and like day one he finds debris.

So it just adds to this whole thing, like, what the fuck, how is he? Yeah, like day one he's like, oh, I found this thing from the flap. It's just, it doesn't, you know, that guy. Yeah. This guy just like goes there and finds it. So did they ever say what happened to the plane?

Well, the truth is like, they, because of the debris that was found at first they go, okay, confirmed that this debris is from a triple seven, which is what the plane was. And then they're like, yeah, it is that flight. It is, it is a M.H.370. But like each piece of a quid debris from a plane like that has specific, like, numbers on it, you know, what's, what I'm trying to think of, I can't think of the word, like, like a serial number? Yes, yes, yes. And they're like, some of these pieces have deliberately

looks like missing serial numbers, or like this doesn't make sense. So it just adds to the speculation that, that they don't really know, I mean, obviously the plane is gone. But there was a theory that the Russians had diverted the plane into like Kazakhstan and that, you know, and people were buying that

theory for a while. By the family member, I'd buy it. Well, yeah, because it gives you hope, you know, it gives you hope. And so there was that, and then, I don't know, man, like, there's people still, some people think the pilot did it, but the thing is like, usually when people do something like that, there's these signs, you know, when they dive into it, and the thing is, usually when people do something like that, there's these signs when they dive into it. He had no actual signs of depression or being like, you know, buying into some crazy political. He was, by all accounts, like a pretty healthy, happy dude.

That's crazy that you don't even think about all the shit going on in someone's life. It's really good though. I highly recommend watching. I love you. Get on the Netflix, watch WrestleTazle. You need to go. You need to go. The, I, it's interesting.

They got some really great shows on Netflix right now. It's funny. I, the, the PornHub ones good. I watch that. I watch one on Boeing's 737 Max. By the way, and this is why I'm having a panic attack today. Because the 7 through 7 max they were like Boeing made a plane that uh where they placed the engines the plane just went

gunk. The the worst part about that Boeing max 737 max thing is that there's internal memo. I've even seen the doc but there are internal memos. They go, well the pilots will have to go like some more training to do this. And the airlines are like, we don't want them to have to go to more training. So then they were like, all right, just don't let them know that. I remember when they were recalling the 737 Max and I was on a 737 Max. And I was, and I said something to, I must have been sitting next to a pilot, but I talked to a pilot about it. And he was like, well, it's all bullshit. These are fucking, they're 737s.

There's nothing different. And then you watch the dog and they're like, oh no, it's totally fucking different. They had to put a tail flap in the thing to lower it, but the pilot's had to know it. They had 10 seconds to figure it out when this started going. They, and they talked about, dude, why am I talking about airline crisis when I have to fucking fly today?

You're flying today. I'm flying fucking today. On a 737 Max. I don't know, I don't know. I have a, our lady that books all our travel, Felicia, is a gangster. And she, every time she, again, she tries to get me sleeper beds.

Yeah. Do you hear this fucking rain? This rain isn't safe. Fucking crazy. You know trees are just falling out of the ground? That's fracking. She tries to get me the sleeper beds. Yeah, do you hear this fucking rain? This rain isn't safe. Fucking crazy, you know trees are just falling out of the ground? That's right. Because our trees don't have vast root systems, because if it ever rains,

all the fucking rains up top, so all the roots are up top. So these big heavy trees are just fucking collapsing. And we've got four of them in our backyard. How long have we been going? An hour. Well, how you feeling? You're feeling sick?

Tired? Yeah. And this rain just go back to your Xanax, go to your room, and fucking sleep all day. What do you actually do the rest of the day? I'm traveling back today. You fly back? Yeah.

Barred it? No. Okay, go a second. Was it second? No, American? What time? The flight is at like five something. Oh, really?

Yeah. Um. Oof. Oof. I mean, the burps start down here. Five something. Oh really? Yeah. Um Oof I mean the burps start down here. Yeah I let me meet order pizza last night. Mm-hmm. And I was like I'm gonna have pizza I've been doing intermittent fasting and then eat trying to eat clean somewhat. Do you do like 16 hour? I do I go as long as I mean, you know what that usually is. Yeah, it's from like eight till noon.

Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, but last night I went to bed at nine. I stopped eating at like probably seven, 30, seven. But I just see how long I can go. And then if I don't do it, I don't do it, I don't care. That's not a big fucking deal. I've tried it, I feel less hungry lately. I think it's because of my gear.

But I tried. I like our piece of last night. She goes, she goes, you know, surprise us, Dad. I said, what, she's got me something I didn't expect. And so I was like, all right. So I got, I got spinach and feta, and then supreme pepperoni, and then thin crust cheese. She opens, she goes, goes I'm like any of these

If you're not gonna fucking and she was like fine. I guess I'll have cheese and go to bed And I was like that's all I was looking for no this morning. She was oh she fucking never mind. Oh god Wait, I hope I can't wait I can't I hope I'm alive when your kids are 18. How much longer is that? It's a while you got I'm alive when your kids are 18. How much longer is that? It's a while. You got, well, you got about 10 years, 10, 11 years for Alice. Done. I'll be there. 14 for Julian.

Okay. Yeah. 64. I'll definitely make 64. 69. It's 70. He's going to be a dicey year for me. I think so. Yeah. 70. 70 will be a milestone. I think a lot of people will be like, holy shit man.

Yeah, yeah, you made 82 and 82 and Spray and Lucid and with it and still in kind of good shape. People are going to be like, God damn it, Bert. I did not see this coming. Yeah, I mean, I can't wait to go to people's funerals and be like that would be, yeah, that way. No, they thought you'd be dead before them. 82, Rogan will be 80, he'll be 90.

He'll be 90. No. He's eight years older than me. No, he's not. He's 55. Is he? Yeah. Okay, he'll still be alive.

He'll be 87. He'll be 87. Yeah. Okay. Who's gonna be, who's funeral I definitely be at? Who's funeral? Well, of like our circle of friends. Yeah I mean, um, this is not a fun game. Yeah, I just realized this is not a fun game Yeah

How many how do you think Leanne will outlive you I don't think so. No. I think it's because I think what's going to happen. Yeah, it'll be something. It'll be something. I'm brain tumor. Yeah.

And people are going to go, because I know that I'm going to get the energy at a funeral where they're like, should have been him. Yeah, yeah. I know that. Yeah. So like, yeah, I'll definitely outlipply in. Yeah. And I won't take care of her properly. When she's dying?

Yeah, I'll be, because I want you, this is really shitty, because she knows that I won't be able to, to bring it up. You'll bring it up. Oh, yeah. And then I'll just be like, hey, I gotta, yeah, you'd like look in the room, you good? Maybe I'll step up to the, I'll probably step up to the plate

because when my sister had that heart condition, do you remember when God, he had her heart rate, was like, yeah, yeah,? Maybe I'll step up to the, I'll probably step up to the plate. Because when my sister had that heart condition, do you remember when Gadi had her heart rate? It was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking, she went to the hospital. 210, dude, I delivered. I showed up. I was a fucking gangster. I got in the fucking ambulance with her.

I calmed her down. I took some selfies. And then, yeah. You think you all live your sisters? Mm. Yeah, I hope I outlive my parents. Jesus. I hope my day, my mom's got this fucking weird DNA

where she just doesn't get sick. And when she does, it doesn't hurt. And she just, I'm bedding the bull. Like my mom's got crazy DNA. And my dad, my dad, my dad, I don't know. I don't wanna get the fucking phone call. I don't wanna get the fucking phone call. I anticipate the phone call you knew you're dad was passing right? Oh, yeah, you were there. Well, yeah, there. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I don't want to get the phone call

Yeah, that's my thing is the phone call. Yeah, yeah, am I am doing this this? Do you remember when I said I don't have any anxiety and then this is gonna end the hiring? Talking about God damn it God damn it. Let's talk about some let's end off something strong and positive okay? anxiety and then this is gonna end the high anxiety. What are we talking about? I'm gonna crash in my cell. All the new names. God damn it, God damn it. Let's talk about something. Let's end off something strong and positive. Okay.

Okay. Guides. We should cleanse. I don't know. I was gonna say vacations. Okay, vacations. Like, like, like, I'm trying to think of something positive. What do positive people do?

They think about like, yeah, affirmations and like, yeah, beautiful places. It make occasions a good idea. Okay. Where do you, do you have a vacation plan next? Like cruise, I work. I know, but you gotta plan,

why don't you plan a week of vacation? With who? Leanne. Oh, I guess, good. Okay, so I'm going to New Zealand, the South Island. I go to New Zealand, the South, the world is the place to visit. Is the South Island of New Zealand? Yeah. You should go to the Cook Islands. Dave went there. My tour manager went there after I went home and he went to the Cook Islands. Type in the Cook Islands. Are you being serious?

Yes. He went there after. He was like, I want to go to the Cook Islands. Go to images. Yeah. Are you being serious? Yes, he went there after, he was like, I wanna go to the Cook Islands. Go to images, yeah. That's where he went after our tour in New Zealand. Hey, Typen, flight from Sydney to the Cook Islands. I'll green like this. I'll pull this trigger right now.

Yeah, you should do it. How long? Oh. That's a connecting flight. Is that connecting? But you're also going that way. For real? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, way. For real? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cook Islands. Yeah. I love going to the ocean. I love being at the ocean. There you go. It's five hours and 33 minutes. That's doable.

Yeah, you want three thousand islands. The Cook Islands are going back to Los Angeles? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll go to the Cook Islands. I'd love to go to the fucking Cook Islands. Sure. Show the image of a map on a map, if you can. Yeah, there we go.

Where is it? Yeah, see, so you're heading that way. Oh, wow. Then you could probably go from there to, like, I don't know, Hawaii. I'll tell you what I could do. I guess once you get to the Cook Islands, then you might as well keep going. So I was like, I'll fly back Sydney

and then take the drugs. You could do that. Because I don't want to, I'm sure it's gonna be like, Cook Islands to. Yeah, you're right. A hamburger island. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cocktail Island.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, look at that. Look at that. He went there, he said it was amazing. It's me. Maddie Smith. Who's me, Maddie Smith. Who's that? Maddie Smith comedian, she's fucking hilarious.

I told you about the time that she missed, she missed, read the label for Edibles. No. We're in the bus and we're fucking hammered. And she puts a bunch of gummies and then a bunch of weed gummies in a bowl and shakes them up. She goes, who wants to play gummy roulette?

So I was like, wait, what are these? And she goes, they're these. It's fine. They're 10 milligrams, but you got to eat whatever you eat. You got to eat now. I normally do not take 10 milligrams. If anything, I'll take five and I'll have a hard time waking up after taking five. Yeah.

So Pete goes first and he eats his gummy and he says very plainly that was marijuana. I said really, and he goes, it's extremely strong. It's marijuana. And I was like, okay, part of me is like these are shit gummies. Yeah. Because I can't taste the marijuana in a gummy. Yeah. And I definitely can't smell it.

So, uh, Mattie takes hers and she goes, okay, I got marijuana too. Moses Storm takes his, he's like, I got marijuana and then grabs it and grabs another one and he goes, and I hate to say it, but I think the other ones marijuana, I grabbed mine and I go, I got marijuana and I'm chewing it. And as I swallow, Maddie goes, uh-oh. I said what? She goes, probably she's not going to be mad and I go, what? And she goes, I miss right the label.

I said, what do you mean? She goes, I thought it was 110 milligrams. These are 10, 100 milligrams. And I'm like, we hate Pete immediately goes, I'm going to my bunk and gets in this bunk and just tries to race going to sleep before it kicks in. Me, Maddie, and Moses, Moses is on 200 milligrams.

Maddie goes, well, I can't let you do that alone. She's another one. We get fucking oh Boliterade it be like Florida I got into my butt. I guess I said I'll out drink it So I started pounding out of all Christ and I get into my bunk and I go I'm gonna be fine. We're gonna be fine. And I was for like, I fell asleep and then, I don't know if you know this feeling. I can only describe it as a searing panic attack where it's extremely clear, extremely clean

and it's hitting you dead into the fucking center of the heart and I wake up with a searing panic attack and more driving down the road. I'm gonna fucking, you ever see the movie with Chris Pratt where he's in a time capsule And they're flying to Mars, but his wakes up early and then he's got to make the decision do I wake someone else up That's what I was like at four in the morning driving down the road going do I get someone awake? Do I tell them what you do? so but but we laughed

The funnest part was as as they were kicking in we we couldn't stop laughing that we ate a hundred milligrams. It's crazy. And so, Maddie Smith is going with me. Mark Smalls is going with me. Peter is going with me. I believe Lacey is going with me. And Victoria, it's a good group. It's a fucking good group. We could go to the Cook Islands.

Dude, that's a good, you should do it. You should do it. Right now, Leanne's listening to this downstairs going, I want to go to the Cook Islands. Of course. I just named all the people I travel with. Yeah, I would love to go to the, 10 must-do experiences in the South Island of New Zealand

is fucking sick. It is fucking sick. Are you doing all in New Zealand? Just the top. Just Auckland. Auckland in Wellington. Yeah. I did Christchurch and that was like my favorite show.

Really? Yeah. No, I'm doing Auckland New Zealand and then all the places in Australia. Brisbane, Melbourne, Sydney, Perth, Adelaide. I don't know where else. I think that's probably it. That's probably it.

That's probably it. I think they're already sold out. Great. I know. I want to do more shows. I think that's probably it. That's probably it. It hits. I think they're already sold out. Great. I know. I want to do more shows. I'm doing. I love. Hey, Oropa.

Oropa. Hey, Oropa. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You're going to Europe. Where are you going in Europe? I got Budapest. Berlin.

Berlin straight. You know, I don't understand. Oslo, Paris. Yep. Paris. I didn't do Paris. I didn, I don't understand. Oslo, Paris. Yep, Paris. I didn't do Paris. I didn't do Prague. Dublin. Dublin, Glasgow.

Oh, Birmingham. Dublin. I might win you in Dublin. I might fly the Dublin to go watch that show. Uh, pull it up, pull it up if you can. Um, Jesus. I'm like fucking ridiculous. Hit, hit tour.

Let's see here. Scroll. When are you in Ireland? See look. Bubba, Bubba, Oslo, Athens, Prague, Dublin, the three arena. Yeah, three. That's where I was. Oh, that's gonna be so much fun.

May 6th, where am I may 6th? Am I here? I will fly the fucking Dublin to see that show. Seriously? Dude, that was the craziest show I did all through you. That's what you said. That might be one of the craziest shows I've ever done. That's the time I called you on stage.

I remember it. It was, I just got into Australia. I walked out with a beer with a cold beer, raised it to the audience, and they were standing and stomping on, oh, le, oh, le, oh, le, oh, le, oh, le, oh, le, and I fucking killed the beer and they were like, ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo and then intermission and then ladies and gentlemen, Tom Sagarra, it worked fine. Like I remember like honestly, not even like. How much time do you have me to do?

15. I think we have three people with us. Three? At one point, yeah. At one point we had Maddie, Mark and Shane. And so it was awesome. Dublin at the three arena. Gotta get Conomer Gregor to come out.

Okay. Gotta get Conomer Gregor to come out. Hey, everyone gotta get Conomer Gregor to come out. Okay. Gotta get Conomer Gregor to come out. Hey, everyone hit up Conomer Gregor and tell him May 6th, the three arena, he sold it out too. That was the one that when I met him, he goes, he goes, what's he doing here? And I was like, the, the, the,

the dude was stand up and he said, where? I said the three arena and he goes, just sell it out. I said, yeah, and he goes, me too. And he looks and he goes, we both sold out that three arena. And I was like, ah, I took the most disgusting picture with his mom that I've ever taken with anyone.

Why? Have you ever seen this? With his mom? I look so. I think her name is Maggie. Maggie, no, Gregor, no, Gregor,

Maggie, she comes up and she goes, I'm bad at accent. She goes, I have boy, oh. Can I get me a picture? And I was like, yeah, sure. And oh my God, she was standing. I hope to God, this is on my phone. I hope to God, this is on my phone

because you will laugh hysterically. She was standing on, she was standing on. She was standing. She was standing on a step. You got a picture of me and Maggie. She was standing on a step and she we didn't want to look short. So she's still in the step and I stood on the step in front of her. And so pulled up.

Can you? And so I look like a fucking Blimp compared to this little beautiful Irish woman I'm just right in front of her. I look massive compared to her. That's Connor's mom. Yeah, wow compared to her. That's Connor's mom. Yeah, wow. She's, they're hope, the whole group is cool. I'll tell you right now, this Black Forgin,

which I misread the name, because I'm dyslexic, and I kept calling it the Black Forin. Yeah. The Black Forgin, that steak is one of the best steaks I've ever had. Is that his, Jen? It's his place. It's his place, dude.

You gotta go to dinner at the Black Forgin. Post about it on Instagram, and maybe Conor will come in reach out to him Have do Joe reach out to him, but that but he has to come see your show He's fucking was he your show? I know he didn't come to my show. Oh, he just we just we were going to dinner there And he was there having dinner there at the same time I think All right, he was he was I mean awesome man. That would be awesome meeting was a fun experience at that. Yeah, he's an interesting video of it Night geek out because I didn't understand what he was gonna be there like they were like I'd said I'm going to the black for Jen on Instagram and then the black for Jen DM me and they're like when are you coming in and we were just day drinking in Ireland and I was like I don't know like

Later tonight. They're like well, let us know we'll have a table ready for you And I was like oh cool, and so we were kind of bored so I was like, I don't know, like later tonight. They're like, well, let us know. We'll have a table ready for you. And I was like, oh, cool. And so we were kind of bored. So I was like, I was like, oh, this is the video of me meeting Conor McGregor. Here, hit pause, hit pause. Let me tell the story. I better telling it than seeing it.

So I go, I said to the group, I was like, hey, let's just grab this up and go to the black four gin and have dinner. You guys want to go get a drink? And then I get no idea that Conor McGregor is going to be there. Don't hit play it. Don't hit play it and so we pull up and there's a fucking Maybach or like a Bentley in the front and I pull my phone out and I record it including its license plate I'm like, oh I wonder who's here joking thinking honestly thinking what a good smart marketing idea that he'd always put a

Bentley out there Maybe we'll think yeah, and I go that's guys the guys on top of shit I what I'm not seeing is I'm seeing a bunch of people ushering Like panicking as I open the door Three dudes and black suits now you can hit play three dudes and black suits literally usher me to my table quick as fucking shit and Sit me down and then this guy he's the fucking best. He's got the belt over his thing and he's like do you want to meet the champ or do you want to meet the boss? This is me meeting him. I know shit. I am geeky. Look at Mark's malls

This is great. I didn't realize it was like this. This is great. Yeah, it was fucking awesome and This is great. I didn't realize it was like, this is great. Yeah, it was fucking awesome. And so, you're standing front of the picture and he's talking to you about what you were doing there. I think you're the best comedian I've ever seen. I swear to God, it's an honor to meet you, you're better at everything than I am,

and I'm a good boxer, but you're the best. And he's like, wow, two legends, he's like, look, two legends, get a picture, give the belt to the champion. He's like, you're the best. This is awesome. And he's like, oh, there, yeah. And then, then goes, hey, you got to take your shirt off, right, buddy? I go, yeah, yeah. Tan, I don't want to. It's not my thing. But this is great. This is awesome. Yeah, we,

this is when we're talking about the three arena. Yeah. And so you look so, you look so happy to be winning. I'm so fucking excited. Yeah. And then, of course, he's like, he's like, he's like, God, you look like you're in shape. It play, it play, it play. He goes, he's like, he's like, God, you look like you're in shape, it play, it play, it play. He goes, he's like, you look like you're in shape, he says to me, and then my shirt comes off. And so, but he said to me, they brought me in, they sent me down.

Is this you guys there? Are you there? This is us there. This is like, we did a podcast the next day. Oh, I got you. In a pub and just talked about it. But the best part is when I got in, they sat me down and they're like, the boss wants to meet you. And I was, and I had just assumed,

I just assumed it was the rest not manager. Yeah, like I figured the boss of the, yeah. Yeah. And I was like, no, no problem. Yeah. And they're like, okay. So when the boss comes up, And I was like, no, no problem. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, okay. So when the boss comes up, everyone get the cameras out. And I was like, okay, in my head, I'm like, I really honestly thought they looked at my Instagram followers

and he's got 2 million, 2.7 million Instagram followers. He's big on TikTok. It's a social media moment. So let's get a picture. And I was like, I'll take a picture with everyone here. Sure. And so he's like, okay, so everyone's got the cameras out

because it's happening in here comes the champ. And then he brings out the belt and I go to the champ. And he's like, whoa, and then I was like, I'll take a picture with everyone here. Sure. And so he's like, okay, okay, so everyone's got the cameras out cause it's happening and here comes the champ. And then he brings out the belt and I go to the champ. And he's like, whoa, and then I'm like, oh shit, and I was, I fucking geeked out. And he was like, he's like, how's Joe doing? And I was like, he's doing great. He's like, telling me I said hi, and I had to just text him with Joe.

Yeah. And I said, Joe just texted me and told me to tell you he said hi. And he's like, tell him I'll see him in the ring soon. And I was like, oh, breaking news. Shit. Early old Hauani. Yeah, yeah. I'm dropping times.

Yeah. And so, so yeah, so it was great. It was a fucking awesome. But I swear to God, if I'm off May 6, I'll come out and see your show in double. Okay. Because it is, it was the most. was fucking awesome, but I swear to God, if I'm off May 6, I'll come out and see your show in double. Okay, because it is, it was the most. I remember.

Insane fucking night of comedy. And there were, I have to say this, only because what I presented is unruly. And it was at times, unruly. It was at times. Yeah. Out of things. They were, imagine they were comedy fans

that were in control of the evening, but chose the best night of comedy they could have. So they would, I'd tell a story, get a big pop, like I did the one on land, you know, with the, the song Secret Time, or on this one, and I'd, oh, that's me. Big pop, big pop. Ah, one guy go,

hoole, hoole, and the whole place will lay, hoole, and then I'd grab a beer and I'd chug it, and they'd go, ah, I hoole, and the whole place will lay, hoole, and then I grab a beer and I chug it, and they go, ah! Back to it. Then I'd be like, my daughters are fucking idiots. Boom! I mean, it was like, it was an epic evening. You told me, you go, it's like no one has told these people that they're white.

I did. You did. Did I say this? That's a good one. Alright, weeks ago. Oh! That was fun. What a great, we did. That was some great episodes. It was. It was a lot of fun.

It was a lot of fun. And we'll reconvene again, you and I in like about a month or so. We're going to get together again in Austin. I can't wait. So Joe's club's fucking sick. I can't wait. I'm doing. I'm going to do it it Let's do it. Well, I want to we down there. Why would do some co-headlining shows? That'd be fun. Yeah, okay Yeah, make tickets $270 a ticket So they can't fuck it scalp. I'm here. There's got everyone's got that. But they're $400 But the club is not accepting secondhand tickets now So you yeah, they're just like no you either get the they're not letting them do it really yeah

So don't get the scalp tickets because they they're not gonna take them I'll I'll take them okay all right Love you I Mean one goes top the other wears a shirt Tom tells stories and birds the machine There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean Here's what we call, two bears one cave No scripts to bet a booze amateur, for topology

Dirty jokes, ronti humor, no apologies Here's what we call to bears one cave.