2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - The Crazy World of Steve-O | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 211

Episode Date: November 13, 2023

Welcome to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. This week, Bert Kreischer is joined by guest bear Steve-O. They discuss Steve-O’s new special, the start of his entertainment career, his Jackass co-stars, his time in rehab, what it means to be happy, and much more. They also talk on the phone to Mike “Cowhead” Calta, and Dr. Drew Pinsky.https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/tourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com/

I can do it. Easy. Hey, man. Can we show you what you're doing wrong? Tank tight. I'm gonna get that board. Okay. Hand it over, pops. Really?

Yeah. Do you want this? No. I'll be fine without it. Oh, okay. Hey, Hawk. Welcome to the Eagles Nest. Wait, go!

Oh! Oh! Call that one! Yeah! Call that one one! Why'd you let me do it,? I'm not even wearing a helmet. Hey guys, my new tour come together. It starts December 30th in Honolulu, Hawaii.

This is the first leg of tour dates. So many more to come. You can get tickets. At Thompsagura.com slash tour. I can't believe I did it. Man, I'm gonna need another nerve transfer. What's your blood type, Tony? Not yours. I could see my dad. Of course.

This week on Two Bears 1K, he says on an alcoholic edit the cell. Yeah, Drew. Look, Timo, what's happened, buddy? I haven't seen porn that has more intensity than that. It has all the breaks, you're cool. that It doesn't break, you get knocked unconscious You were mean done, no, to do with me 100%

Hey guys, brainwaves episode of 2 Burrs1 cave Fan favorite steveos with us today Fuckin' and he's got a new special. What is it? What's the name of the special? I didn't even. It was bucket list. Oh, that's right.

Holy shit. It is insane. It is insane. You know, a long time ago we talked about, a long time ago, we talked about, was it this special? Now, it's my one before. That was my gnarly special. The one that you came over to the house to watch.

Yes. And you consistently are changing the genre of standup, you're doing it your own way, which I think is so cool because you got to stand up late in life and you were making it your own, which is so impressive. So many of us, and I say, oh, it's just comics, like so many people, and I just had a long conversation about this the night.

See the path in the forest and they walked down that path thinking well that's why you get to the water realizing if everyone's going to the same lake the water is going to be low. If everyone's walking down that exact same path you get to the water everyone's drinking out of the same fucking water sometimes people are pissing in it. You've taken a new path in the forest every time. And I think that's so fucking impressive, dude. Thanks, man. Yeah, dude. We had... Like, it's multi-meeting the way that I did my comedy.

Yeah. And that was a gradual thing. My first special... I did some fucked up shit on the stage, but it was just me and a microphone and what happened on the stage. Let's talk about the origins of your of you as a live entertainer because I think this is interesting. You had during jackass when you were partying, you would go to bars and light your ass on like light yourself on fire. Wait before jackass.

Oh, jackass. Yeah, mean, my entertainment career in a professional sense started when I went to Ringling Brothers in Barnum and Bailey Clown College in 1997, which was in Sarasota, Florida. That is, uh, a P.T. Barnum is a game changer. Oh, yeah. I mean, man, you know know how to story about him? There was the, there was a giant, someone to disprove religion, buried a huge stone giant in their backyard, and then had people dig it up.

This is like in the, in the, in the turn of the century, where P.T. Barnum was big. And it was called the Brightling Giant or something. And they dug it up and then everyone thought it was real. They thought that the Bible was real, that there were giants that walked the Earth before and he put it on display. PT Barnum offered him $50,000 to buy that giant so he could put them in his museum in New

York City. And the guy said, no, and PT Barnum simply built a replica and then said, I've got the original one, that one's a fake and people just bit. And they end, and then because of P.T. Barron they found out his was fake. That guy's a fucking, do they, when you go to clown college, do they do take classes in promotion in P.T. in, is there like a history class? I mean, it was considerably more akin to boot camp than college.

It was like eight weeks. It was a big tax write off for the circus. For the course of those eight weeks, with the exception of Sundays, six days a week, we trained 14 hours a day. Like, unicycles and stuff? They would break up the day. It would be in the, like, whatever,

the, you know, there's been a big theater of the Cirrus Heart Opera House. We'd be in there at 8 a.m that it's been a big theater the service or the opera house. We'd be in there at 8 a.m. we'd do like a morning workout like stretching or whatever we would have like hours broken down for like acrobatics dance improv skills circus history you know and then makeup. They didn't make up. They didn't teach us any makeup. They on the very first day of Cloncology, they gave us all makeup kits.

And they said, you will receive no instruction. Just like, that would be against how it works. You just gotta figure it out, no instruction. You figure it out today and then you do it again tomorrow and you do it again Then by the time you're done you will have arrived at what your makeup is what the way that you do it. Oh, well And I picture a view with your makeup. Oh, yeah, there's a million of them and The the thing is the grease paint it like a little goes a long way and nobody's gonna respect like how so like they they're there There's almost a ritual It like a little goes a long way and nobody is gonna respect like how so like they there

It's almost a ritual. The anal sex It was like an absolute Ritual where when everybody gets done with their first try they're waiting with cameras at the mercy walk out of the room They take your picture and everyone just a goddamn mess really but after the eight weeks everybody's top notch and so and So the I think people forget, there's a clown, if I'm not mistaken, I think his name's Mr. Nudel. He was on, can you please Google Mr. Nudel?

He was on, he's like, he's got a scholarship. He's got a MacArthur grant, Mr. Nudel. He's like the world's greatest clown. Oh, is that Bill Irwin? Yeah, Bill Irwin, he went to clown college. My daughter made me laugh. He was a graduate of clown college. He's one of like, I want to say four people who became the

Bill Irwin, Bill Irwin, Penn Gillette is a clown from clown college. Yeah, and me. I'm not sure that there's anybody else that has, you know, people really know them. But yeah, Bill Irwin's the most talented fucking dude ever. My daughter made me laugh so hard when she was like three years old, maybe just old enough to barely talk. She said, you know Mr. Noodle? And I said, yeah, she goes, do you know what his

brother's name is? I said, no, do you know his brother's name is? No. Mr. Nudel. It made me giggle. So I, every time I think of Mr. Nudel, his brother's name is Mr. Nudel. Yeah. So wait, so, so you're in clown college and I just find this interesting. Obviously, I don't, there's so much I want to talk to you. I want to talk about your animal sanctuary.

I want to talk about sex sobriety and food sobriety and all the different sobriities you have. Sure. Oh, yeah, that's the one where me and the right is my first ever attempt. You know, I'm apologies for alienating people who are only listening on audio and don't have the visual

component. It looks like a chick who got a train run on her by the Wu Tang clan. No, it looks like a guy who just went down on a woman at the worst part of the month and like, like with a world record flow. Yeah, yeah. Is that used to? Yeah, that's my graduation photo from a clown college. There were like, they designed my deal as a kind of punk rock clown. I saw a pad. It's pretty cool.

And so I have a fear of clowns, but that doesn't bother me. The, What do you think of Insane Clown Posse? I met one of the guys, Scary Jay. I'm like, violent J. Violent J. Violent J is in town right now to shoot a music video with me tomorrow for the song that

we recorded because I'm resurrecting my rap career. Not resurrecting it, I'm redeeming whatever that is. But when I first decided I'm going to be a, like Ed Jim's gonna be like comedy gangster rap, there was a good idea. I didn't remember that phase. I remember you took a, I remember, is that the same time when you, which I have a visual of all the time

when you wrapped your dick in duct tape for Howard Stern? That was one of the million things I did for Howard Stern, but the idea was a good idea. The problem was at the time I was just so deep in the grips of drugs and alcohol that it had all the quality of the funny just was lost. When you guys sober, was there a part of you that looked back and goes, man,

did you look back, go, I wasted a lot of years or do you have to look at some of it and go, it's crazy that all that got me to hear and I'm really happy to. Well, yeah, it's just back to the future, bro. You don't want to mess with the space time continuum and fuck up what you got going right now. Yeah, because I texted you the other day

you were posting a picture about aging and I was like, dude, you are not supposed to be here. Yeah, I get it and that meant a lot to me too, bro. It really did. Well and I was like, dude, you are not supposed to be here. Yeah, I get it. And then it all adds to me too, bro. It really did. Well, you're special, dude. You really are. First of all, I've been a fan for a very long time,

for a very, very, very long time. To have you as a friend is insane to me because it speaks, I just never thought that would happen, but more importantly to see you deal with some issues I'm dealing with in life. Like aging is a motherfucker and getting older is a motherfucker. And the fact that you've been said that you have, like we were talking about food earlier and the fact that you even,

because you're in great shape. You've always been in great shape. Oh, I fluctuate. I fluctuate. You fluctuate? Yeah, but now I'm doing the rap thing properly. Like writing like, you Like writing like funny songs. And about one, with I did with Violent J.

It's, you tell me what I want to make the title. It was gonna be called, I love my girl, but it's a song about how wonderful she is except for that one week a month. You know, when the demon. I was just titled like, ****. Yeah, no, maybe if one man's the hook and then I know and then that's the that's the the play on words

Is you're really talking about the blood coming out of the but I mean I want to find out the bleep this it sounds pretty Fresh. Yeah, that's an aggressive word for you'll get maybe demonetized You want to definitely believe that one word and everyone will think it's the end word and everyone will think it's the end word. Yeah. But yeah, it's just fun and funny, you know? Yeah. And, I mean, I'm just excited. But violent J, man.

He's great. I met him in Detroit. Yeah. He came to a show very sweet, dude. No makeup. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah, that's, I've still never laid eyes on him with that makeup.

But I'm imagining that this week, I will. He he's got a he's got a clerks vibe to him He's the best. Yeah, but you should get him on here. I would love to he was just at a skanks fest Yeah, he did a episode of skanks fest and I watched clips and he's fucking hilarious That's epic man. Like I can link you guys up or please please I find guys like that. I find in St. Clown, Posse, legit insane. They have a hardcore fan base. Like you look at insane clown, Posse. I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I'm simply correlating them to other groups

that I find that have die hard fans. You wanna talk about marketing and the genius of Mark, these guys revolutionize the music industry. Because if you whittle everything down, you look at the way like, Tom's always done thing on a very, things on a very big level, you know, like he always does things. He wants it to feel professional, look professional. You were someone that always, I always felt like, did it yourself. You wanted to, you were, you wanted control of it.

I feel, I'm a little bit that way and I feel insane. Clownpasties got that. Like, they've got this like, dude, we you wanted to control a bit. I feel I'm a little bit that way, and I feel insane clown pals, he's got that. Like they've got this, like, dude, we know how to talk to our fans, and that's what we do, and don't tell us. We're drinking fego. I understand that it's hard to get, but it's where we, it's what we like. I love fego, by the way.

I fucking love fego. I love fego. Fego with Shasta are my two favorite sodas. Without a doubt, I've been drinking a lot of Dye Shasta. Do you drink Dye Drinks? No. Not at all. Serda's just a no-fly zone, man.

Well, it's just stupid. But it's so good. Yeah, it's that man dude. Dude, I drink liquid death. The liquid death is fucking good. I mean, dude, a wise man once said that water is the only beverage. Water is the only beverage of the wise man period.

Who said it? I don't know. Somebody is smart. Like, uh, there's literally no reason to drink a fucking drink other than water. What about coffee? Yeah. I mean, okay. What about, so let's talk about treats.

When you have, so I'm certain you have my brain. And I know like, what are your treats? Like what do you? I mean, this depends. You asked me before we were starting recording. Um, what's my diet like? And, and it's like basically polar extremes. You know, there's me like when I, when I'm in a good place and me when I'm in a bad place. You always seem like you're in a good place to me. I mean, with my diet, like, you know, dead. Give me a meal.

Give me a meal that you're proud of and a meal you're not proud of. Okay. And I'll go a dead. Okay. I'm pretty proud of Taco Bell. I think that's the best. That's one of my unproud meals. I think of Taco Bell. I think that's the best. That's one of my un-proud meals.

I think the Taco Bell's actually, like when it comes to fast food, like the healthiest, because like when I'm ordering there, doesn't have like the, you know, the me, I don't know, I'm not gonna eat the meat. Sorry, are you vegan? I eat seafood, but.

Okay, so what do you eat at Taco Bell? Okay, they're bean brewers, pretty fucking legit. Veggie Power Bowl, but okay, so what do you eat it talk about? Okay, they're bean burritos pretty fucking legit veggie power bowl, you know, right there It's like vibe like it's it's I mean all or bean burrito fiesta veggie burrito flowers like not something I'm super proud of like but but but it's not like deep fried, you know, okay minds for be for Mexican pizzas. I fuck up Mexican pizzas. I fuck up Mexican pizzas. And then my favorite thing they have is,

they stop making it, but you can get it. It's a beef Mexican melt. It's basically a beef soft taco with just cheese. Beef Mexican melt was like the fucking shit when they had it. The day they discontinued, it's funny. I remember the day two popped, died and the day they discontinued Mexican pizzas at remember the day two pocket died and the day they discontinued Mexican pizzas

at Taco Bell. What's the same day? No. You would have seen me at a fucking AIDS viral. I would have been fucking hurting that day. I went out and I bought a ton of Mexican pizzas. The snack food, like fast food for me, is always bad. I can't find any good snacks. Snack food like a fast food for me is always bad.

I can't find any good snack. Oh, dude, you're not going to the right part of the convenience store, dude. There's, there's these like kind of healthy, like a protein bars kind of thing. Like, I think they're all bullshit. When I'm in a good place, like that, like what are they called, uh, like one, uh, oh, oh, quest, quest bars.

Oh, quest the fucking legit. Quest, I'm good. I don't know how it's so good and there's like no sugar in it. It's, I got, it's got a- That's a very cobbler one, it's insane. Quest bars. Dude, they've got, quest has a maple. And then there's-

Sugar one. Then there's this barbell, brand that has like cashew, you know, it's like kind of healthy candy bars Yeah, and I'm down with that when I'm in a bad spot I'm just wiping out the Reese's peanut butter cups. It's the best feeling in the world I've never been I've never been on like a full-full drugbender But dude when I wake up from a nap and I'm in a bad spot I will suck down whatever candy bars are around until I'm physically ill.

Right. I mean, I've never even come close. I couldn't even imagine like a number of Reese's peanut butter cups where I would like tap out and be like, oh, I can't eat any food. I will eat them until they're gone. Can I tell you the lowest my daughters have ever seen me, like the lowest. and I'm talking drugs, alcohol, fucking any addiction. Leanne one time we were in Alabama and Leanne made two plates of cookies.

It's cow head. Isn't that crazy? Calton? Yeah. Fuck yeah dude, answer him man. I fucking love that mother fuck. Yeah. Your body is together.

Dead. He came to my show and I had the same pictures of us to go on stage. He's got the same tattoo as you do. The Rinder one. We matched them because we're really good friends. All right, I'll call you later. All right, let it be.

I love you. Yeah, dude. So Leanne made the mouse watering telling you the story. I want... But Leanne made two plates of cookies, one to take out the next day, and then one for everyone to share. And I ate roughly 24 cookies.

I ate the whole plate, and I was physically ill. And I la walked in and said, where did the second plate of cookies go? I had woken up from a nap. I'd been drinking during the day. I woke up from a nap, and I said, I ate them. And and she looked at me and she went oh, buddy. You don't look good Like I was on my face with fucking me. She took a picture of it She goes this is the lowest ever and then she went out and told everyone daddy to play the cookies and Leanne came in

She's like are you okay? And I was like I couldn't help myself hot chocolate chip cookies. I couldn't I couldn't I It's I've cheated on women. I've never cheated on the end. I've cheated on women. You know that feeling when you're like, oh, this is fucking happening. That was, that was the only feeling. It's like being out of control, completely out of control. That's right. I remember, um, I grew up mostly in London, England. That's crazy. You thought you mentioned that in the new special. I was born there left when I was single. Everyone's getting stevo special as stevo.com. Get stevo special as stevo.com.

How much is it? Do you know how much it is? It's behind the paywall. It's worth it. It's fucking worth it. This is, I wanna say this is a stuff. But imagine if Jack asked me, Jack asked, but Paramount wasn't included.

Well, it's stuff that would not be allowed to happen for Jackass. No, it is, it is every, there's surgery. There's, you didn't even see the part yet where I get the general anesthesia in my vein while I'm riding a bicycle. And then if that's not fucked up enough, you know what an epidural is?

Yes I do. Yeah, four inch needle into your spinal cavity and they inject a drug to paralyze you from the waist down. I found a mother fucker willing to give me that four inch needle in my spine and paralyze my ass while I was in a full sprint. So a epidural fragrance. My assholes tingling.

I, That's why I was in a full sprint. So the epidural footprints. My assholes tingling. I have a visual that I can't unsee, and that is you refusing to go under in Mexico. I, yeah. And I think of that every time I go to the, I had a colonoscopy recently, and I just thought of you going You have the most insane digital footprint But wait, I keep skipping all of my way so I'm a little kid in England and in England

They didn't have Reese's peanut butter cups. They just didn't have them. So like my friend who's father worked like at the US Embassy, there was this like US Embassy like canteen and like going there. And like he would get me like that was where I would get my hands on him, you know? And I would have like just an absurd number of packs of Reese's peanut butter cups. And this is how I would do it. Like I wouldn't like open up the pack.

And I was like, I'm gonna, I opened up every pack. So that like I said that I wouldn't have the annoying, like ripping open the wrappers to interfere. I just got all the opening wrappers out of the way and then just stack them like fucking, like towers of, and then just stack them like fucking like towers and then just fucking like god and then there's no there's no limit.

Oh I would I would have these fits with with Girl Scout cookies. Let me let me tell you about what was my god. Oh my god. I think I'm going to relax while sugar. I got sugar in 74 days. Oh, damn. I got sugar in 74 days. I don't tell you my rock bottom

We've got me into the food program for the first time my mouse actually fucking watering Yeah, okay, this is why you're not allowed to talk about party and stories in a. Hey, huh? I mean, it's not you're not allowed to Keep going, okay, um my rock bottom at one point one of my bottoms I went to go see that Joker movie, the Joaquin Phoenix one. By the way, sidebar, that's a great name for a special, Steve's rock bottom. And you just tell all your rock bottoms, that's fucking fast.

Yeah, I dig it. Now, at the concession stand going into the Joker movie, I just, I knew I wanted a Caramel popcorn and they have like the plastic tub, like the full fucking, a little mini bucket of Caramel popcorn. But I also wanted the red vines and they only had the fucking jumbo pack, like a jumbo pack of red vines and a bucket of Caramel popcorn. And I just sat there and I would take a handful of the caramel popcorn, fill my mouth, and then take a fistful of the red vines

and chew it all together in concert. You know, like, just, and this combination of caramel popcorn and red vines as I chewed it all together in my mouth was just so fucking delicious. I hate the hoppins. I hate the hoppins. You know, someone introduced me to fucking

to Hop popcorn with M and M peanut M and M's inside it. And then all the peanut M and M's get soft. And by the way, Carmo popcorn, Carmo popcorn sneaks up on you. You forget how fucking good it is. You forget Carmo popcorn is like a handshop from a dude. You're like, oh wow, this is better than I thought it was gonna be.

You're like, fuck, every time we would have people deliver us, we have popcorn, we have Carmo popcorn is like a handjob from a dude. You're like, oh wow, this is better than I thought it was gonna be. You're like, fuck, every time we would have people deliver us. We have popcorn, we have Carmo popcorn downstairs right now that I've been looking at. That I've been looking at. I haven't had sugar in 74 fucking days. I haven't had sugar. I'm proud of you man. I haven't had alcohol filled with sugar.

I haven't had alcohol. Oh, black. I'm serious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're just like white knuckleing it? No, no. I'm not sober. But like, I'm so you're smoking weed.

I'll smoke weed if I want to. And if I've always said, I wish Xanax worked for me on a flight. It only works for me at home. And I don't find a usefulness for it at home. It's so funny, man. Like I remember when I was in rehab, and by the way, so far I've interrupted you twice. I'm really trying to be a lot better about that.

By the way, don't worry, I'm interrupting you not to stop. This is what we do, keep going. If you don't like it, I'm so sorry. I care about improving my... I do too, but I can't help it. Yeah, keep going. Okay, when I was in rehab, right?

Like, By the way, always interrupt me if you were gonna tell a story about rehab. Okay, in rehab for drugs. Like, this is right around the time when, it's so crazy that I was in psychiatric ward, like, like, the day or two after my intervention. And I was like, man, like, like,

it's like blowing snottom and it's like, like, like, it was weird. And, and I was trying, man, like, it's like blowing snottin' and it felt like it was weird and I was trying to figure it out. That was when I discovered that I have the huge hole in the wall, in between the center. In the center. Yeah, I don't even know if it's not a septum. It's a septum.

Yeah, it perforated septum. Not a deviated septum, perforated. Meaning there's a whole fucking hole that's going through my septumum the wall in my nose and Knoxville Knoxville came and visited me rehab with with bam and I was like Yeah, and I was like I was like I did I you know, I got this is fucking hole in my nose I'm pretty sure like let me see if I can fucking stick something through it.

You know, I don't know where we're going to do it. So Knoxle took the shoelace out of his conference chocktailer. And I literally just stuck there, the little plastic fucking nut and rubber then, up one nostril through the fucking hole and threaded my nose with the shoelace. You still have the preference of them?

Oh yeah, it doesn't go away. Oh for real? Yeah. It doesn't grow back like your liver. All right, does it just not grow back? No, and I ask you. Why did rehab work for you? I was just ready, man.

You were ready? I was ready. Okay, here's the thing, because I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing. I mean, I'm gonna drink again one day I don't know when I think I'm gonna do it on my cruise, but Is I would have I would have already of drank if you're watching this probably I'm guessing considering it's my birthday I'm gonna be in the Cayman Islands if you're watching this I probably already drank and by the way

I'm I'm no attachment to sobriety because I am smoking pot if I want to so it's not so bright for me California sober dog California California soap, yeah. I don't even, is that a real thing? I mean, I don't know. Not in your programs. It's not something that has a particularly good track record that I'm aware of. Yeah, well, it's because the thing I think was sobriety is it's nice to be clean and be like, you know, I got something I'm holding up. It's kind of nice to have like a record. It's the same thing with the diet. I'll do that.

I find dieting similar. I'm eating pretty much caveman since for 74 days. And so with a diet and not drinking, it's just really keeps staying away from sugar. But I don't know, I don't know, like the treat thing is the thing like, do you, was alcohol ever your thing? I mean, I could never even fathom

going a single day without it. Really? Yeah. And then all of a sudden you went, not cold turkey, you just, were you really just going, I'm done with it. Well, it was their times you were like, who is Debo? Like what is what am I without alcohol? I was it was it was gnarly and I think the difference is I just was effectively humiliated into willingness.

You know, like I could not control my behavior. Like I couldn't get through like any given day without perpetrating some bullshit that would make me feel so ashamed myself that I were wished that I could conjure up the courage to commit suicide. For real. And I couldn't, yeah.

So I was just like loser at life Loser at death just trapped in in misery Yeah, and I didn't even know it like I didn't even know it until I'd been like kind of sober For a while. My days you're doing rehab what started in The Psychiatric Ward. I was on California's 5150 law, which means... The Cigarette in the... Exactly, yeah. 5150 law and Baker Act, or Marchment Act, I think, in Pennsylvania.

It means that they can hold you locked up in the psychiatric ward against your will for 72 hours, which is three days. But when they got me, and Knoxville was the one who brought me in, you know? Yeah. When they got me to the hospital, this guy was like waiting for me at the car

as it pulled up with like a wheelchair to wheel me in. I was like, I don't need a wheelchair and I was like, spit on the guy. You know, like that was just normal for me at that time. Dude, that should be, by the way, I would love to see, I've had a lot of friends going to rehab that's kind of the deal when you party, you have a lot of people go through the 12 steps, I've had a lot of apologies, I've had a lot of those things.

Adapologies, amends. Amends, I say it, yeah, yeah, my bad, or my amends. And so, so, and so, but one of the things that I find the most fascinating is even the people with willingness going to rehab, there is a moment of panic where they decided to fucking burn it to the ground. I would love to find that Instagram feed of just one orderly who just doesn't look like he deserves respect, who gets destroyed every time people check in a rehab.

Well, I'll tell you, I spit on the first guy. And then I was pretty convinced that I was gonna calmly talk my way out of it, but they had me dead to rights. There was no talking in it. And when I kinda got the fact that I wasn't gonna talk my way out of it and just be with, let go, I started to get grumpy.

And I was like, oh, you know what? Like, now I wanna smoke a cigarette. Like, we're gonna do this thing. I'm gonna smoke a cigarette. And they were like, no,, oh, you know what? Like, no, I want to smoke a cigarette. Like, we're going to do this thing. I'm going to smoke a cigarette. And they were like, no, you're not going to, and I was like, no, I'm going to smoke a cigarette. Now! And that's when I, like, I go to grab like a chair

and pick up the chair and just throw it, right? But I don't even get that chair into the air. Like, orderly is it just come out of nowhere and just grab me. Yeah, like, once you're going to go and throw a furniture in Yeah, like once you're gonna go and throw furniture in there, like that's where they draw the line. So I just get like, I just get neutralized by orderlies and they pick me up and carry me over

and put me on a stretcher. And who's with you, is Knoxville there right now? No, no, no, no, now I'm on my own in the guts of the Cedar Sinai. That will give me, I will tell you, I've joked about going to rehab a lot and I often fantasize about how nice would be to tap out for a month. Yeah.

And just no phone, just really focus on myself, work on myself. The thing that pulls me back is the panic moment where I realize I can't leave. Well, here's the thing, when they slay me down on this stretcher, and I realize now that they're gonna strap me to it, and I'm like, I'm like, kind of claustrophobic. And I don't want to be like strapped down to a stretcher.

I just want the reasons I drink. And I'm kind of like, oh, I'll be good, and they're like, or doesn't even, I'm like, I didn't even matter, because then they put a needle in my butt cheek. There we go. It's called booty juice. Oh, please.

And the needle just knocks you out. I'm taking this in the next thing I know. I'm waking up from a nap. And now I'm in the part of the hospital where the doors don't, they don't, the viewers locked in, straight up locked in. And because of my behavior, they've now changed my status from 5150, which is 72 hours, 252.50, which means they've got me for two weeks.

And thank God because had it been just 72 hours, that wouldn't have done it. I would have, if they let me out at 72 hours, I was straight back to the dealers. How many days until you until how many days until you broke? It's about seven days. Seven days you're like and and the first like the first five days were like me negotiating with myself in my head like, you know, like I know what they want to hear I know what they want to hear and I got to tell them what they want to hear to get out of here And if I'm honest I probably should not get off with the ketamine and the cocaine and, you know, the nitrous and the PCP and, you know, the aluminum head cleaner.

Like just like, but, but like I'm not going to, like, ever stop drinking. And, and for the love of God, I'm not going to give up weed. You know, so I'm like negotiating this patchwork of what I'm gonna consider my sobriety. But I knew even then that my weed bones connected to my booze bone and my booze bones connected to my Coke bone and my Coke bone, you can't not eat. I thought my weed bone was connected to my booze bone.

I really did. And that's why I was like, when I stopped partying, I went. I mean, do you get caught in my house, you're thirsty. You need a drink. Oh, no, no, no. As soon as you have a drink, then you need to snort cocaine and as soon as you snort cocaine, then you need to take pills. I did a podcast with Dan, um, uh, dance order. Okay. And I thought, and I thought I didn't I didn't quit drinking I didn't quit drinking for any other reason other than I wanted to lose weight. I dropped like 15 pounds and for me my old burr was like we're good. 15 pounds is good. Let's go back and let's get back on

the horse and and I'd be I'd be lying if I didn't say that at certain times, I feel like alcohol has helped define my personality. I'd be out of my mind if I didn't acknowledge that. So I would always lose some weight and get healthy, get back on the horse. And I thought I was gonna with Dan. We did a podcast here if anyone goes back and you can see the bird cast of me and Dan. And I wanted to party with him, so I wanted to be fun.

I wanted it to be fun when I was loose. And I said I'm gonna drink. I said to myself, him so I wanted to be fun. I wanted to be fun, I wouldn't lose. And I said I'm gonna drink. I said to myself, I'm gonna drink today. Today's the day I was to go back to drinking. It's very easy to start drinking again when you don't have like a ton of like not drinking under your belt. And then he said, well why don't you just smoke pot

and I said if I smoke pot I'm gonna drink. And he goes just don't. And he goes better yet. And by the way, Dan is no therapist. I love him to death. But he goes, you've already pot I'm gonna drink and he goes just don't and he goes better yet And by the way Dan is no therapist. I'd love him to death But he goes you've already said you're gonna drink so if you have to drink you can drink But try not to just see if you can smoke weed because he goes weed can be fun because Dan sober But he's California sober. He's he's a big drinking problem and so I smoked weed with Dan and I I had a really good time And I and then I got tired and I went to bed and I slept.

And then the next day I tried it again. And so I've done that throughout, however, I can understand the very, very slippery slope that everything is connected, like even with sugar, because the second I have a cupcake, it's when I am not good at moderation. I'm not a moderate guy. I like having rules.

I love having rules. I do and I love living inside the rules and I like breaking the rules. Like I was talking to someone the other day. I forget I'm sure it was on a podcast. I don't feel like I talked to anyone if it's on a podcast. Why would you? No shit. Oh my god. What? You're not that good at texting. I'm horrible. Yeah, like how many people like get really buttered over that? Tom Sager and I had a fucking seeker time. Tom Sager is like very thoughtful

and a lot better of a texture than you are. We had a, I wouldn't say blow up, but a huge meeting, a big fucking thing about me not replying to people because I don't reply to anyone because what happens to me is like I've did just answer two phone calls which is crazy but normally I don't normally I don't. But like look here's I mean these are just that well that's you you just texted me. This woman has mushrooms in Seattle I don't really fuck with mushrooms. I like them like your dose, but that's for me is like, I get to introspective on mushrooms, man.

Would you ever do Iowaska or is that that's pretty much the way you do? Maybe I would back in the day, but I'm good being sober. You know, I put out my second book and the final chapter, I think you're gonna really relate to this. The final chapter starts with that question, in quotes, are you happy? And then I say that question has always fucked me up, man. It's offended me. You know, like it feels very like invasive.

It feels very like personal. Like, you know, because it upsets me so much because my gut instinct, like, am I happy? Like the first initial reaction when I contemplate the question is, fuck no, I'm not happy. I'm gripped by anxiety and stress. Like, I'm in this default setting. If everything's okay right now,

it's probably not. It's definitely not going to be okay for me. I'm screwed. I'm going to lose everything. I don't know why it's just in my courts. It's what I believe. I've got to do something, I got to frantically hurry up and hustle to try to set myself up so that maybe I'll be okay, but I know that I'm not. But I got, you know, it's just something about like I'm defective, I'm not going to be okay, like, and that's kind of the fire under my ass. And the more I chewed on it, I thought about it. Like really where I wind up at it, you know, where I wind up in that chapter is that,

you know, what is happy, or the words I mean, you know, are you happy? That sounds to me like kind of synonymous with content. Yeah. And content sounds dangerously similar to fucking lazy. You know, like we're what's being happy gonna get me. The fuck is it like like what's the benefit of that? Like, no, no, I'm like and I arrived at my conclusion, which is if I had the choice of being happy or being just this gripped by anxiety and stress.

Just fearful person. I choose the hustle bro. I don't have fucking time to be happy man. I want to fucking hustle. I want to accomplish. I want to strive. I want to fucking kill it. I had a really hard time when I started not boot.

When I wasn't boozing, I had a really hard time finding motivation to work out. It's my motivation always has been, you owe this to yourself. You fucked up last night. Let's get in there and let's punish ourselves. And so I had a hard time finding the motivation. I think I've always had a, I feel like, I know, I edit his name out or don't, but like,

has this just edited his name out. So he didn't have to deal with the comments. But like, sh** has this, he's always feels like the shoe's gonna drop. Like the f**king, everything's gonna f**king fall apart. When's comedy gonna stop? Sh**, even more than that. Dude, edit both their names off so that everyone

doesn't get into their comments and be like, because I know that, but it's like crazy, because I have a thing where I go, I'm sometimes afraid that if I'm too happy, that means bad things are right around the corner. Like if I celebrate too much, or if I don't pay the air flight, the anxiety, if I don't pay the tax of anxiety, then that's the day I die.

Like it's a weird, I understand what you're saying. And I'm not, and I will say this keep the name in. I'm not Malania or Alliwong who they are just so undeniably talented in everything they do, everything they touch, everything they grace us with their, or Chappelle or fucking Chris Rock. I'm burnt. I got a fucking hustle. I got a work hard. I got a fucking spend time working on my act. Not that they don't work on their act, but God damn it I could watch Ali Wong eat crackers and I'd be like fucking entertained. Tell you this.

Shoot. Netflix said that my bucket list special is too much dicks. Yeah, oh, Steve, I can totally agree with him. I'm fucking, I've never seen more eye to eye with Robbie Prawn my entire fucking life. By the way, I'm shocked, I'm shocked you're releasing it online. I'm shocked that it's allowed to go online. I haven't seen porn that has more intensity than that. I mean, that would get flagged on Pornhub.

By the way, great promos. I would put all these on Pornhub. I would put all your fucking stunts on Pornhub. I mean, it's aggressive. Yeah, it's fucking impressive, dude. I love that you're multimedia. I love that you see things differently. I love that it's, I love the way you're doing your business.

And to go back to your, you're not, there was a point in your career where things were gifted to you. And then I would argue that you messed enough of those up where you had to start earning them. Ah! Like Dr. Steve O, right? Was I, that was like, you probably didn't even know,

you know, I bet you would be, I would be shocked if you knew what you made for episode on that. I think I made 30. Yeah, and but like, and you, 30,000 bucks, and but you probably didn't do much pre-production. You probably weren't sitting through posts. You were just showing up, getting hammered.

I was, well, I actually kept it together while we were filming, but on any day that we weren't filming, I was unreachable off the grid. And so like, but so those that moment of Call Steve O given 30 grand an episode, that went away. You go to rehab and then you had to earn it back. And that's what I think, that's why I'm so impressed by where you are and what you're doing. And that's why I think this specials so,

in fact, a special. So many people are doing specials these days. That is a special, but you didn't, it wasn't gifted to you. Does that make sense? Yeah, I'm really proud of it too, man. Like, my first special, like, man, it did more harm than good. I wasn't ready for it.

You don't think? Yeah, I wasn't. But here's the deal, none of us are ready for it. There's a lot of people making them that still aren't ready for it And I was not ready for mine. I did mine on Comedy Central comfortably dumb Comfortably dumb. Yeah, and to this day I've had people ask to buy it because they look at the catalog and they're like I want that one I won't sell it. I won't let people see it. Oh, I want people to see my first one so that they can see how far it comes since then

Yeah, I sometimes it's like so that they can see how far it comes since then. Yeah, sometimes it's like watching a chef, it's like watching a chef who goes, I love basil. And then you're like, and then you see his, and then you watch him cook with basil a ton, or garlic, garlic's a good example. And then you're like, wow, and then when you try his later recipes,

you're like, it's just garlic. And you're like, yeah, but if you didn't see the first thing of me telling you how much I love garlic, you'd never know how much I love garlic. Now, like, if you watch my early specials, I think you, I think it, I don't know. I'm not, if you listen to my album, my album, albums used to be what specials are today.

Like, once we all figured out how to make an album, everyone released their albums, we all sold them online. And now that's kind of the same thing, album everyone released their albums we all sold them online and and and now that's kind of the same thing is now you realize it for fucking 30 grand you can shoot a special put it up on YouTube a lot of people are doing it that was what albums were you listen to my fuck so much more than that oh that's well there's a dude in Chicago that's making for 30 grand, he's really fucking good. That's, I mean, I paid that just to, the one guy that we know. Yeah.

Oh, I paid it to him too. Yeah, he's worth it. He's worth it. You're a special beautiful man. Where did you shoot that in England? At the Hackney Empire. Really? Check it out, that wall of TV sets,

70 tall, 24 feet wide, not even including the wings, which were more mountains with television sets. Backdrop is impressive. Yeah, that was my girls idea, she's the production designer. Really? It was like well over a hundred old school TV sets,

all like built together in a wall. So I went back to my college recently and I ran into a lot of people who were at FSU. FSU. FSU, yeah. A lot of people are like, I can't believe you've become who you are. I told you the FSU joke. What's the difference between the Atlanta Braves, Tomahawk Chop and the Florida State Tomahawk Chop. What? At Florida State you get three credits for doing it. That's pretty good. That's a good joke.

We have a good clown college at Florida State. I've heard about it. Good circus. So, but I was, there was a couple people when they said it, it meant a lot. Like I was like, yeah, you actually mean that. Like you didn't see me doing anything after college. I'm like, I'm there with you. But who are those people in your life that are like, like when they go like, I'm really, like, is your dad still alive?

Yeah. And when your dad says, I'm proud, like, is your dad still alive? Yeah. And when your dad says, I'm proud of you, that must be a new. Oh my God. And my dad came out of retirement. He's my business manager now. For real? That's why you're so smart.

You did, you've done things that business wise that I've watched from the outside, that Tom and I have texted about privately. Oh wow. That were like, well, fucking. Yeah. I mean, you beat me to liquid death. Mm-hmm. You know, but you're, but you're, you're, it's one of the things that no one knows about you

is you're a pretty slick businessman. I mean, I try to certainly try. My dad and I made this documentary and I put it, it came out in 2004, 20 years ago. It was called Steve O'Hour, the early years. It was like my way of finding a home for like low-level video footage that I started out with. It just wasn't that bad as on its own.

So I was like, let me tell the story of how I got to where I was. And my dad was interviewed for that documentary. Dad said, the world is full of stupid people who try to look smart and they fall in their house doing it. But Steve, I think, is actually, actually his smart. And he does a great job of looking stupid. I'd rather under promise and over perform. Oh my God, that's the mantra that my dad gives. If I have a motto outside of, if a little's good, a lot's better, that

my dad instilled in me. It's never over promise and to under deliver. Have you ever talked to this? It's a weird question, but like, talk about under promising, but just delivering the exact promise is Chris Ponias. Like, he really seems, ever since you saw first saw his cribs, he seemed like a guy who didn't need much and was really happy and content. And, but I always wondered if there's something like,

I've always wondered a bunch of things. It does give a good bunch of things. It does have a good sense of humor. Like does he watch like the same comedy you watch and get it? Does he? Why haven't you guys ever started a podcast? I mean, like the fact that he's not on your podcast, he's great on your podcast. But like, but like I've always wondered like if you ever talk to him as a friend and be like, Hey man, you should, you know what you should do? Cause he just seems like the quintessential California fucking beach, fucking smile dude. First off, he just did start a podcast.

No way. It's called The Pontius Show. He does it with his wife, May. And my episode by this time, I'm sure, will be up. Really? Yeah. And the answer to that question, like what's Ponious like?

I think he's so just naturally funny. You know, like when Jack has started, there was a guy named Brandon D. Camillo. I remember that guy. I remember that guy. I met that guy. Yeah, he came from like Bams or Polo Friends. Yeah. He was a part of Jackass in the very beginning, but he just kind of like you didn't

want to be a part of it. And Brandon D. Camillo, plus Chris Ponyus, I thought were the two most naturally talented guys. I was so jealous of them because they could just spin gold. They could make the most funny, like, entertaining picture of Brandy Camillo. I remember that guy. I remember them and there was they didn't have to get hurt, they didn't have to take risks, They didn't have to be in horrible pain. But you feel like, do you feel like, do you feel like that?

Because I probably understand like I, a good luck spelling brand and decommend. It's not there's no apostrophe. It's a DIC D. Yeah. It's D.I. D.I.C.A. D.I.C.A.

There you go. His freestyle rapping. Oh my god. There you go. Um, his freestyle rapping. Oh my god. Like, it's just like, I was just like me and these guys, these guys just naturally have it. Like for me to, uh, make entertaining footage, like I had to, I had to break myself. I had to like, you know, like, and, uh, I was just jealous of those guys. Him and Ponyus.

But like, they, they're naturally funny. And, um, you know, like, naturally funny and um you know what I was doing now what's Brandon decamel type in what you see go to the question you know I think that Brandon decamel out is is bartending now and and he um oh I had somebody reach out saying hey Brandon's thinking about maybe getting back in the spotlight. Like, you know, and I was like, wait, what? Wow. Well, hey, Brandon, open invite to come do my podcast. I'm pretty.

Brandon Di Camillo, like, he's singularly the most talented person that ever had anything to do with Jackass. Really? I would submit that he's more talented than all of us put together. Really? So talented. Dude.

That guy is the most genius, but, you know, that movie Road Trip, Tom Green's character, and how he's just never left the town. Like, you know, Bramley's kind of a little bit like that. That was kind of the beauty of all of Bams Crew was that, I mean, I could really get into the weeds about Jack asks. It's like, I had emotional attachment to all you guys.

But the beauty was, the beauty of Ryan Dunn was that he, same beauty that Chris Pontius had, is that he was like, I'm cool here. Like, I'll go out to LA, I'll do a minute to win it with Steve O and Guy Fieri, I'll do it. But like, I'm also really cool, Just going to the bar here and having dinner and hanging out with my friends. Like there's a real nobleness to someone who,

and if we're going back in the weeds, it is what's sexy about Tom and Rogan is that they don't give a fuck about fame at all. They really don't. Like Tom genuinely does not want to be famous. He has no interest in fame. He wants to be an actor. He wants to do creative projects. He loves podcasting. He wants to build an empire. He wants to make a lot of money, but he does not care about fame. Where I don't mind it and I kind of enjoy it and it makes me feel nice. Like if a guy's like,

dude, I love your movie. I go fucking thank you. That means a lot to me. Like it means to me. If you tell someone, if you are looking, I dare you, this is a new challenge. The two-bearers challenge. Go up to Tom and tell him that he is the funniest part of two-bearers and watch his face not move at all. He'll go, cool.

And just walk away. Do it to me, do it to me. Watch my look. I go, go for real you really think so It's the difference of us, but those guys. That's what they had Ryan Dunn didn't feel like he ever needed to leave Pennsylvania, you know, yeah That for sure so Pontius He like he's like that. I mean he just He's so talented man. He's so that. I mean, he just, he's so talented man.

He's so naturally funny. And like back before Jackass, when they were doing like the big brother thing, like he just couldn't get him to go on a trip or the way he wanted to wrestle and allocate it. But he just didn't, he's just like a motivation factor, you know, like a hustle, muscle, you know, like I think Pontius would love to be like, I was telling Pontius for the longest

time, dude, you gotta get in, like start creating content, man, you can actually build your own audience, you don't have to like get green lit or you know a approved budget like whatever you don't need permission for anybody to work it's just work and I launched my YouTube channel in 2013. First video I mean I uploaded two videos together one was the the condom prank where I took this uh dishwasher detergent that looked exactly like CNN, and I squirted that into a rubber. So it's like dish washing detergent in a rubber, but it's...

It's so funny you say rubber. I've never said that word. Like I've never used that term for that thing. Okay. And I've just said it, but like today, I heard Jay-Z say it in a song with meek mill, or with Memphis Bleak, and I went, that's crazy that he said it in the cover.

I had that, so it's just like, and I put a bunch there, so it was just looked like the most massive load. Tried it and not, put it in my, my, my prop pocket, you know, and then I just go wall-sing out on Hollywood Boulevard, so people come up to me and they're like, oh, do you, can't get a photo, I'm like, hell yeah, you can't. And dude, check this out.

Pull it out of my pocket and like swing it. And people are like, the reaction to it, you know, it's just like, was always, they're the two of me care. They want to get a picture with you so bad. You know, by the end of the prank, like I'm like laying it on people's heads, like I'm, you know, swinging it into their faces,

like, it is incredible. And the other video I made was, like, a ponious breaking a beer bottle over my head, like a real one. Yeah, a real one. That's crazy. That's crazy, empty. No, full.

No, empty. I'm empty. I'm empty. I'm hard to break an empty, pretty good. As long as you follow through enough, it's only like it's like the breaks here. Cool. It doesn't break. You get knocked unconscious, not unconscious, but, but and I put them up together. So you got to go hard enough. Yeah.

And honestly, the only person I trust to do that. Really? Stern, but fear. It's got you know, I bet I bet bam from what the video is I've seen I bet he'd take a swing at you right now. Yeah, maybe. But that's the two way side more he does look good today like today he look good. I saw him he's doing a big Comic-Con thing and and I follow him I follow him he's when you talk about.

When you I'm careful with my words, I'm a fan. Sure. But when you talk about someone's head to be... I'm blowing it. When you talk about blowing it. Like someone said to me the other day, it's a shitty thing, but people go, if you quit drinking, you'll lose all your fans. And then I go, no, I'm definitely. Absolutely. Yeah, I definitely, I think that I don't even see me drunk.

I mean, there were people. I don't know how many of them there, there still are, but like I would see people's comments, you were funny or on drugs, man. You were way funny. That person, that person's a fucked up person. That that that person is just playing wrong. Yeah, and you wouldn't be here Yeah, I was like Chris Farley was funny around drugs. No, I would still love him here Yeah, yeah, and so and I say that to bam is like I'd I it is a weird thing is I don't you know

It's all bam the same thing man dude like create content man like yeah, bam same thing man dude like create content man like you're the the bam just like decamilla and ponies like bam could bam did it all like you want to talk about I was $300,000 episode on fucking people of the band I mean that was the budget for that's a pretty standard standard budget for a lot budget wise to piss away I mean when when it's the total budget for you know a basic cable show I mean, when it's the total budget for, you know, a basic cable show, I mean, I don't know, I would guess that we had a $300,000 budget for wild boys.

No, but not prep, prep, so? I would guess, I mean, imagine it is. I, yeah, I'm sure it is. I think it was 150 for fucking trip flip. Like, and like, we didn't have to do anything. So I'm sure you, I bet your budget was 150. Did you guys buy first-class one, Wild Boys? Sometimes.

Really? Who did you buy? We started out with a sponsorship for the show with Virginer. How quick did you lose that? Like after the first trip, I think. We were, what was it? We were trying to like see, we were going on some trip and we went and bought as much taning

lotion. We tried to put the most tanning lotion on ourselves to try to get the craziest tan that tanning lotion could possibly get us. Maui babe is what we use to use. And we were just naked and covered in tanning lotion and just frolicing in the first class lounge. And that was it. I think it was one trip. Wait, does Pani his party?

I think that he tells me that he hasn't had a drink in a long time. I have no reason not to believe. Was did he use to party a lot when you did wild boys? He uh, oh yeah, we drank a lot. Really? Oh yeah, we drank a lot and there was a lot of dry goods. Like not like powdered goods, but like just pills and stuff.

Really? Yeah, I talked to Tom about it the other day about drinking. And he's, I was just, we were just casually talking. I think it was even longer. I said, you think you could, we were talking about Huberman. We had Huberman on two days. I do.

He's a great guy. He's a great guy. I want to get him on my thing. Yeah, he's, well, he's, he's fucking awesome. He's awesome. But he, he was saying having one drink a week is normal and I was like, well, it doesn't compute to me.

So I even have one. Just don't, it just don't say the calories or like, it means one doesn't do anything to anyone. Are you doing it to shit? What is it like a formal thing you're doing? I just see everyone, I don't have a, like I don't know why you're doing? Like I just see you know everyone, I don't have a, like I don't know why you're doing it. Right.

And then Tom, I was said to Tom casually we're talking and I was like, can you, can you imagine? Like, what's the longest you could go without a drink? And he was like, I don't know when the last time I had a drink was. I was like, wait, what do you mean? I was like, what was the last time you smoked weed? And he was like, I don't know, like a couple months ago.

And I was like, that for me was like, like a really? And that's right. Like I think I don't, I wasn't drinking at the time. And I was like a game changer. I was like, sweet. You don't like have a drink at the end of every day. And he's like, no. And I was like, how do you like dial down?

And he was like, just sit on the couch. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. Because I think the majority of people listening right now, I would argue, I put it on my social media, the majority of people probably have more than one drink a week. I would think or they don't drink at all. You know, I mean, yeah, I think that the, the difference is like a normal person doesn't think about how many drinks they have. A normal person doesn't think at all about it. Yeah, yeah, it doesn't, it never even interests their mind.

Someone told me they went to... Like only an alcoholic will ever even wonder or think about if they're an alcoholic. Because that question would never even have an alcoholic. People have asked me that so often and I go, no. And they're like, really? I think you've told me directly that you think you have a problem. No, I have a problem with everything, with food, with sex. Like everything, I have a problem with everything.

That's just my personality. But yeah, and I've been I think Dr. Drew kind of been and analyzed me and he was like you don't you're not an alcoholic, but you definitely drink too much Dr. Drew try to tell you that you're not an alcoholic Dr. Drew would call him right now give it a shot By the way Heardman's got to be disgusted with you By the way Huberman's got to be disgusted with you You were mean that no to do with me

But Huberman lives like he lives he's a scientist. He lives in Malibu. He's a scientist like you like what do you expect? It's like it's not I mean not like He's I Don't think he's the guy that you introduce to someone and don't give like a little kind. A condor. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think you're giving a...

He's a scientist and you're a science experiment. Yeah. Human means like, he's an anomaly. He's an anomaly. There are how many human beings do exist in the world? He's in the 1% of that brain, right? He's a tenured professor at one of the biggest universities in the country. And he's only talked about his longevity. And so like, yeah, if he looks at any of us, he's going to see problems in all of us. Dr. Drew.

You know, Dr. Drew is... Face time, him? Yeah, please. He's, um, Dr. Drew is... Face timing? Yeah, please. He's, um, whenever I go to a doctor, is it there like... By the way, if he says I'm an alcoholic, edit this out.

If you go... Whenever, I, you know, I want to tell him that, so if he picks up. Okay. Whenever I go into a doctor appointment, they ask, who's your primary care physician? And I say, Dr. Drew Pinsky. Whoa.

Yeah, I do. Really? say, Dr. Drew Pinsky. Whoa. Yeah, I did. Really? Yeah, because at one point, at one point, I tattooed a fan and I wasn't wearing gloves. Didn't even occur to me. I was just like, you know, I was kind of choked up on the tattoo machine. Like it was just like, I like tattooed your mama's name

on a guy's butt cheek. And so you could say, I got your mama, I like tattooed Yo Mama's name on a guy's butt cheek. And so you could say, I got Yo Mama's name tattooed on my butt and that's what it says. And I showed my girl the video of that and she's like, you tattooed somebody with that wearing gloves? I'm like, you know, she goes, we're not having sex without a condom for the next six months until you, you know, it's to clear the window for like HIV risk. What? I'm like, well, you can, so maybe like,

we're rubber. And I went running to Dr. Drew to go get an AIDS test. Like, he has those on him. Yeah, I mean, he's a practicing. No, no, I met like in his pocket. He's like, get here. No, I went to his office. He's like a physician.

He's like, office? He's a doctor with a... I thought he was one of those like, Dr. Cosby doctor. No, I went to his office. He's like a physician office. He's a decent doctor with a I thought he was one of those like doctor-caused be doctor. No, he's a real doctor. He literally has a medical practice patients. I think he's got I think you're confusing him with like doctor J No, doctor J and the same doctor doctor. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding I know he's a real doctor, right? So I'd say he, he, he, he's my blood test. I didn't have AIDS. And I was like, can I get a couple extra tubes in my blood?

It's to fuck around with. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, you bet. So no, uh, uh, wait, what were we just talking about right before that? Um, Huberman. Yeah, like I see there, there's, there is, and as, uh, you know, he's, he's a legit. He's not wearing gloves. Well, uh, yeah, I don't know.

But yes, so, uh, yeah, no, Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. about my drinking before you're out of your fucking mind. I also have a theory. I also have a theory. You're not gonna like this theory. Okay. I believe everyone who is an admitted alcoholic sees everyone's drinking problem.

I think it's like they're hyper aware of everyone's drinking problem and see everything as a problem. Like, it's really hard talking to anyone that's in recovery and them not convincing you have a problem. The same way that like when COVID was going around and everyone was like like, is that a cough? You got COVID. And like it was like contagious. I think recovery is contagious. Okay. I'm I don't know. And whatever my view on it is that it's like

People who have diabetes, they're not mad at sugar and they don't like what I think they are You don't think people want to eat sugar. Well, sugar is not a bad thing. It's just that they can't have it Yeah, but I think they live a life where they go who loves we'll eat cake at a birthday party Like talk to a child who's got diabetes, they would love to have cake like everyone else. Do you think they want to sit off the side and have an orange? Probably not. Yeah, but they know they can't have it.

Yeah. So it's not that sugar's bad, it's just that they can't have it. Like I just can't have it. Yeah, no, I'm not. Alcohol's not bad. And if you're getting away with it, I love it. Like I'm not even saying it's a bad thing.

Yeah. And maybe you're not. I'm not going out on care. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not going to figure it out on two bears on a cave. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I don't want you to think that like, I'm, you know,

no, I don't think. I don't have a judgment around it. I don't think, I don't think, I don't think you ever have. I don't think I've been able to party in front of you and you've never said anything I've I also I think the one of the cool things is like Is I like talking to people that are that are have been through recovery because I like to hear Everything I like hearing opposing opinions even of my own because I talked to Tom about it today We were talking and he was like, are you drinking

for your cruise? I was like, I don't know. I was like, I have no fucking idea. I don't really want to. Like, I haven't, the only drink I can really have on this diet is tequila and I haven't wanted a tequila. And that's the one thing that'll keep you in ketosis. The last time that we had you on my podcast,

you had just discovered tequila soda. The tequila is good for you or what was it? My recovery was through the fucking roof. Oh yeah, now that I've switched to just tequila. Tequila soda with Lawn. My sleep was like 97% every fucking night. It's the sugars are lower in that than like beer and everything else and especially like a mixed drink. How great is whoop dude. I fucking love my mouth. What was your sleep recovery last night? I'm like through the roof sober.

I'm yellow, I'm yellow today. I was, I was just, I couldn't fall asleep. How do you sleep? Do you sleep well? I get sleep apnea. I'm on the sleep. Okay, don't get me started. I think sleep apney is a fucking,

I think that's Big Pharma. I really do. Maybe, I mean, it's- I think they tell everyone they have Sleep Abney on because the machines cost money. I'm telling you. Okay, right. Because you know, they do that with everything,

with all the pills, with all the pills. I'm not back in the Big Pharma. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna tell you how it came up. There were like, the twice I'd been diagnosed with it, but it's just my girl. I sleep with my girl and bed every night. And she's like, yo, you, she's, it freaks me out.

It freaks me out. She's like, I don't like it. You're sitting there and like, you don't breathe for, and then I'll send you. And that's what it says. You got witness, where you go? Yeah, yeah, like you don't breathe then. And so she fucking made me. Yeah, yeah, like you don't breathe in and and and so she fucking made me. Yeah, you know, I

Where was sleep apnea did like I'm just curious like so like where was sleep apnea Before did we just lose people cuz I heard diabetes. I heard before diabetes got discovered you people just died right Like they didn't they just died. I think that sleep apnea If I'm not mistaken, it like there's your heart attacks. For real? I think so. Yeah. I think that I think that it like over the long run it weakens your heart. Speaking of humor, I'm losing his mind. He's listening to us, talk about all this going like I need to get on Steve's podcast and correct these. Yeah. Like good. I went to one of those doctors where you get ready

for a TV show. Who are we gonna call next? That's gonna not give a fucking blossom. What? Drew must be with a patient. What? We could call him. Remember how funny it was when you showed me your take.

That really was a hit of an episode, man. It was back when we were we cared. I mean, I don't know that this was a bad one. I mean, we were a little bit all over the place. A bad one. I mean, yeah, I was telling great stories and you fucked it all up. But it's, you know, I thought it all. Well, because I got there, I was, I remember I was talking about it a bit in the psych ward.

That was the juice he should ever and then you derailed it. Don't you. I just fuck with you, dude. The, but dude, when I was in the, when it said something in the psych ward and then like a weekend, a weekend do it and I'm like, okay, I gotta, I gotta go.

Okay, I'll say something fucked up. That when I finally was like, okay, I'll go to rehab. I went to the rehab where the director of the chemical dependency unit was Dr. Drew Pinsky. No. I showed up there and I was like, dude, and I don't even know that I've ever even said that at a public level. He doesn't work there anymore, but he was the director of the company.

He ran the rehab. And I got there and I was like, true. I know that most alcoholics like don't get it. They don't like, the substances six are very bad. And I was like, I want to give myself every advantage I can. However long you recommend I be here in this rehab, I want to stay significantly longer to give myself a better chance, which is like, here's a blank check for this expensive rehab. You know, it's a crazy move. And he said, wow, I like to hear that you're so committed, but I don't recommend you stay here

more than 30 days. What I do recommend if your series is going to a sober you're so committed, but I don't recommend you stay here more than 30 days. What I do recommend if your series is go into a sober living, you know, like a halfway house. And so I did, man, I stayed in a sober living, like a halfway house until I had been sober for an entire two years. Yeah. I didn't know that.

Two years? Yep. I was shooting JackS3D. I had to get like, hey, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna miss curfew tonight because I'm getting catapulted into the sky and I'm poured a potty full of shit. All right, okay, well, we'll give you permission, you know, but make sure you get back and scrub the toilet in here. You know?

Are you serious? Yeah, I don't really mind. Dr. Drew. Yeah, there he is. Hey, Drew, you're saving my life here. Okay. Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew. Hey, Drew. You're saving my life here. Okay. Yeah, Drew.

Oh, Steve, what's happened, buddy? Hey, do they need to edit out that I said that you were the director of the Chemical Dependency Unit at the rehab that I went to straight from the psych ward? Do you need to edit that out? Yeah, I'm asking you. Not from, it's up to you. You're the patient. All right.

Next question. Um, like, uh, when I go to, uh, doctor visits, they said they always ask me, who's my primary care physician? And I say, Dr. Drew Pinsky. Yes. I've been receiving some of the, uh, stuff, the GI doctors. I've been reading carefully. And so I am happy to take that role for you. Did you get one from the breast augmentation surgery consultation that I went to? I did. But I look forward to reading about it.

I do know what that one's actually in jeopardy. My girl might be getting through to me that getting double D-tits, I is disrespectful and unfair to her. I see. You make her feel diminished by having your big tits. I understand. I think you guys have always had an interesting dynamic. Yeah. At a player, thanks. I know. I'm not calling it off. I'm just not getting my boob job on December 1st now.

I'm kicking it down the road, doing one step at a time. I'm gonna get the big dick tattooed on my forehead and keep that for a few months, see what comes out of it. And- You got a big dick tattooed on your forehead? Yeah. I had to love that.

He did my dad's head, will love that. And I've just gotta find out how long do I last before I get it lasered off Yeah, yeah dad dad dad's unretired. He's my business manager now. Wait, which ones are you getting lasered off? Are you getting any other ones laser? I got shit and fuck laser off my knuckles. Did we have another question for Joe? Oh, is burden alcoholic? Well, you know we have a thing in the program, right? You spotted, you got it, so I'm curious what you think.

Hold on, that's actually my argument. I think everyone in recovery only sees alcoholism because they couldn't, yeah, what do you fucking know? The literature tells me that it's not my role to diagnose another alcohol. We just say, hey, if you find that once you start, you can't stop. We have a solution.

I'm not pushing it on you, but we're here when you're ready. And I see too. Steve, that's what I say too, right? I'm like, look, it's on you. And you know, it's hard work. You used to tell me that for that matter. You always told me, you would say, I'm not ready, but when I'm ready, I'll go all in.

And you did. You were as good as your word. And remember, I remember when you reached out to me for a season one of Celebrity Rehab. I'll never forget my response. And you said, hey, I've got this show celebrity rehab. You know, maybe like it can be helpful for you. And I said, Drew, I have far too much respect for the recovery process to make a mockery of it on television. That was my way of smooth.

Like, I remember that, but the one I was thinking of is when you smashed that table. And I was backstage with you saying, dude, we're going to have to do something. You're like, fuck you. I'll let you know. Yeah, yeah. I remember two you had another show where it was about quitting smoking.

And I said, Drew, I will smoke cigarettes through a fucking hole in my throat until I'm dead. There's no way I'm quitting and look at that I quit more than 15 years ago but back to bird bird has a binge issue for sure whether that's real deal stuff I can't it's hard to tell he gets it under control on his own so it's hard to you know I mean he actually does get it under control right so when people can do that it's hard to, you know, I mean, he actually does get it under control, right? So when people can do that, it's hard to say, well, you got to follow me. We've got some ideas. We'll say, you know, what if he wants help, this help available?

Do you go? I love it. I'm good. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, Drew. Yeah, well I look forward to... Oh man, I reference you in my new comedy special. I'm dying to show it to you. Okay, I can't wait. I talk about how I met this guy who said he could put a four inch needle into my spine, injected drug into my spinal cavity which would render me paralyzed, and then rip out the needle so I could take off and see how far I could sprint before I collapsed Paralized on the ground and you said wow do I hate that idea?

That fits yeah But my both you guys you guys you know both you guys do this to me to what? Scared me you're my friends and you yeah, first of First of all, first of all, my blood sugar is at 82 today. My fucking blood pressure is better than it's ever been. I'm down almost 40 pounds. Like, I'm proud of you. Yeah, I know. And you look, and you guys, look,

Steve goes, years into recovery, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, is a inspiration. Very much so. I sent him a text of. So I sent him a text of that. I sent him a text of that. And he's still staring to talk about sticking needles in his spine and doing danisthesia and riding a bike and scare the shit out of me all the time. So good times. I'll talk to you later, Drew.

I love you. Yeah, dude. I love that guy. Yeah, dude. Who doesn't? It's good to have him in your life. I trust them. I've talked to Drew a lot.

Well, I'm allowed. He's telling me that because we were friends, he wouldn't be my doctor. Oh yeah. But now he's violated his own rule. Do you wish you had done the upside with Tom? No. You sure? I mean, I would like to have that experience at some time.

Wow. Do you know Tom? I know him, not quite as well as you. You, you, you put the right one. I know. Trust me, our friendship, me and your friendship is, I, I, I'm interested to see you do two bears with Tom. I would love to.

He's the best. I think he checks up. The last time Tom was on my podcast. Yeah. So we started off. And with him saying, you know how much I love you. He says, I'm here. I just canceled an MRI appointment for some MRI

that he was like, there's like a very difficult to get that appointment and he's in the any finally got it and he said I love you so much that I put you Over that Tom I'll tell you man Tom doesn't fuck around He doesn't fuck around. He will not be your friend. He will not talk to you if you don't like you He just won't he's he's very very very different than me and you his boundaries Yeah, I mean and I He just won't. He's very, very, very different than me and you. His boundaries. Yeah. I mean, and I meant so much to me. And, you know, on your mom's house, I've been on there a couple of times.

Always the best time. Yeah, why I love, I think your mom's house is such a great fit for his brain because it really is. It really is the way what makes him giggle. What makes him giggle is that shit. That fucking he loves. He loves, yeah, he's what makes him giggle. What makes me giggle two different things, but what makes us giggle together is the same thing.

Okay. He likes really violent, disturbing stuff. I did, I do not. He's going to love my special. not. He's gonna love my special. He's going to absolutely love your special. You will buy it behind the paywall at steveo.com. He will watch it over and over again, and he will have you on and tell you his favorite parts.

Your, your chick talking about shit is will be one of his favorite. He loves it. I mean, he's gonna love it all. He's gonna love one I'm actually simultaneously falling out of an airplane and ejaculating all over the place. That's the one part I wanted to see. I'll show it to you. I have a meeting that started. I have a meeting that started two minutes ago. The buddy, I love you to death. I'm so proud of you. And I say proud and I have no attachment to that pride, meaning I didn't do anything

to watch you succeed. I just watched you succeed from afar as a fan that has known of you the entire time I've been in this business. And to see where you are today is inspirational. And don't think I don't take anything lightly about anything you ever say to me life wise and health wise and director wise. I'm kind of just like fuck with you. I know. I'm not like that. I know, but I wanted to know you're an inspiration.

There's a lot of people I draw inspiration from where the things you've done are, their mountains are not everyone climbs. I'm not gonna even argue with that. I have no idea how I was bestowed with the willingness to become what I've become. argue with that. I have no idea how I was bestowed with the willingness to become what I've become. It's impressive.

And anyone who doesn't see all your accomplishments for what they are is lying to themselves and or ignorant. So, and I'm, I'm, I'm congratulations on the new special. It's really fucking good. I hope it's really fucking good. And I hope all our fans go out and support you number one, but trust me, it's something you guys will fucking like.

And your mom's house fans, this is up your alley. Let me tell everybody this. I taped my special two shows in one night. The first show, five audience members passed out. One of them on their face. Dude, I think I saw that one. Yeah, you saw that one. That's fucking, that is the,

that's just the promo, is that promo right there of you, of that guy fucking taking a header. The late show, I think, only three people passed out. But like, I went around the world and made audience members just pass out. But like, I went around the world and made audience members just pass out. And the worst is when people, like, they'd think, oh, I don't feel right.

You know, after I saw that video, I don't feel right. And they get up and while they're walking, they fall down. So many people in ambulances with broken noses and all the rest of it. I've never heard of a jackass movie making people pass out in the audience and literally like... This is bigger, I mean, this is more intense than jackass ever has been. In my opinion, and I, I want every jackass there is.

Like, it's like better when it comes to comedy and stuff is very subjective, but it is objective. Black and white. Like, you can't do on jackass what I did for this not at all Not at all because you can't break the law. You can't Will it ever go to you to no one go can't go anywhere. It's it's gonna either porn hub or that or you or go to stebo calm Yeah, I'm really proud of You know I did 11 years in comedy clubs before I graduated

to the theaters. Now I'm 13 years into comedy. And like finally I kind of got that, that craft, like to a place where I just like I'm comfortable doing it. And my world's converged. So it's Jackass meat stand up and at a level that is like Literally the bar has been raised and it's a natural progression for you It really is and I think Like I said, I saw the one before this and I thought I fucking love what you're doing I but you're a multimedia dude. This is the natural progression. It's like if Mike Tyson was dead a one man show But then showed you all the shit he's talking about. And but you you to for lack of better words for two dudes who've

done it their entire life you under promise and over deliver and that's it's a fucking great special dude. Thank you man. I appreciate it brother. I love you. I love you too. And uh yeah dude you're not now cocked dude. Hey, who cares? Hey listen we all die one day. Hey, yeah. Bert, Tom, Tom and Bert. One goes top to swap the other. Where's the shirt? Tom tells stories in Bert's thum machine.

There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep clean. Here's what we call. Two bears one cave