2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - The Dark Side of Internet Fame w/ Marcus King | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Episode Date: December 1, 2025

SPONSORS: - Go to https://HelloFresh.com/bears10fm now to Get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life! - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com This week, Bert Kreischer sits down with musician Marcus King for a wild, emotional ride—naked ocean stories with Navy SEALs, cocaine confessions, microdosing mushrooms, Southern rock rankings, and why internet comments haunt grown men at 3AM. Plus: TikTok ruining music, therapy drunk, and Bert accidentally following people who hate him. Check it out! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 317 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:30 - Southern Rock & Creating Your Own Lane 00:07:01 - Marcus' Process, New Album, & Otis Redding 00:14:55 - Cigars With James Earl Jones 00:17:47 - Sobriety, Microdosing, & Losing the Sparkle 00:29:52 - Loving Yourself While The Internet Hates You 00:42:43 - Ranking Southern Rock Bands 00:49:44 - TikTok Ruining Music & Comedy 00:54:55 - It's Raining Tom 00:57:00 - Authentic Relationships 01:02:23 - The Most Realest Artists Out There 01:13:49 - Back To Top Southern Rock Bands 01:20:31 - Eulogies & Final Thoughts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

100% His new album, Darling Blue, is incredible from the second you started. This is your third album? Fourth. Yeah, it's like the seventh. Seventh? The third album I bought.

Marcus King. Good to see you, man. Good to see you, brother. So good to see. Every time I see you, I like, smile. But every time I see you, I sometimes wonder if you go, oh, fuck, it's Bert. never no remember the last time i saw you was that at the uh flora bama no no that was

that was fun that was so fun and you had to explain to me how singing on stage worked yeah we ran it go ahead you tell everyone how it works i mean it's it's a lot like this you know it's just you just got to project a little bit more and uh what did we do we didn't love light yeah it was a lot of fun It was so fun. Florida is on the border of Florida and Alabama. It's called the Florida. They're big known for our mullet toss every year.

And we had done fully loaded that night at the whatever the stadium was or the amphitheater, the wharf amphitheater. And then the whole, everyone went down. It was our last night on tour. I ended up naked in the ocean with the Navy SEAL. My daughters were there. My daughters were blown away. I mean, my daughters are like, one daughter really likes music.

The other one, the other one I think likes the culture of music. Okay. Does that make sense? That does make sense. Neither of them like Southern Rock, though. Okay. They're both into like, Georgia is just discovering it. Yeah.

Why Southern Rock the best out of all the rocks? I'm partial to it just because, you know, I think the best Southern rock bands are the ones that aren't trying to be Southern Rock. They're just rock and roll bands that happen to be from the South. So it just kind of adds a little extra gravy to it, you know. Yeah. It's not overly complicated. You know, it's really just rock and roll. There's nothing really too different about it other than just the region from which it comes from.

Because it's not country. No, I mean, it's a pretty close relative to country music, you know. It seems like kissing cousins. Absolutely. Or kissing brother and sisters in country. Because, like, Lainey Wilson slides on so seamlessly. And then someone like Billy Strings,

who is traditionally bluegrass, fits on so well. But at the end, is it your voice, or is it the chords? Man, you know, that bluegrass thing is just, it's really interesting how popular that's become. Because that was such a niche style of music for so long. And now we got, you know,

bluegrass artists acting like they're the rolling stone and it pisses me off because i'm like you guys were you guys were real nerds in high school and now you're like these big rock stars and it's frustrating but i mean bluegrass is like rock and roll now there's stadiums being sold with bluegrass uh which is interesting to me but um yeah i guess rock and roll is more in your personality i reckon yeah it's more it's like uh I remember someone told me, no one's going to understand this. Someone told me I had a hard time clicking with alt comics. Like no, the alternative scene, the more, I guess now you just say,

now it's just conservative and liberal, I guess the two. Well, the alt comics are like no physical comedy, right? They're like really against any kind of tropes. Yeah, they're very against any trope. And they want what they're doing to be different to be against the grain, which, you know, I always enjoyed. And I, you know, and I always felt like Louis C.K. was an alternative comic. And I felt like Mitch Hedberg was an alternative comic. Genea Grawflaw is obviously an alternative comic.

But it's, it's, I remember someone saying, I was like, why do they dislike me so much? And they, I mean, they really, it would be aggressive. If I went to a green room, no one would talk to me. people would say weird things to me and make me feel uncomfortable and someone said it's because you're doing what they do but better because I am a storyteller and in essence they all wanted to be

storytellers and I wasn't doing traditional stand-up I still don't do traditional stand-up I don't know what I do. To be dead honest with you, I have no clue what I do on stage and I'm but I was and I wanted to say the same about you because you can get in with any band and kill it but when you do your own thing

it's really hard to put its finger on it's you really just start almost destroying all the genres and make your own thing yeah and I think you kind of rightfully so you know you did kind of create your own lane and I think

that's the people that history kind of remembers and I said this like when we did Austin City Limits a couple weeks ago or a week ago I said you know if you don't know what kind of band we are we don't either and, you know, we'll play some jazz fusion in Cowboy Hats. We don't really care, you know, as long as it feels good and it feels right.

Like, it's like what, you know, what Eddie Murphy said. If the people laugh, when you say what you say, say that shit. Yeah. Fuck it. Yeah. I had someone compliment me the other day and said, you know, it's not like you're a comedian. By the way, I just done an arena. He's like, it's not your comedian.

You're just telling like, you're almost like telling us stories. your living room and I go yeah I guess I don't know I try to write jokes they just come out horrible like if I write a stand-up joke it sounds like a dad joke well there's a comfortability to it you know it's uh you just make people feel welcomed and and you know at home so it is like that i'm fascinated by your process because I've read a bunch about this album so let's let's backtrack a little bit. Yeah. The last album you put out, you sent me a pre, you sent it to me ahead of time, and Leanne got a hold of it. And then all of a sudden, Leanne became obsessed with you. And I'm telling you, she listens to you, there are three people she listens to.

You, Sturgeon, and the Red Clay Strays, that's it. That's it. And, well, thank you, Kyle. Come on in. And thank you for your service, Kyle. Thank you for your service. Yeah, what was, what was your military outfit? The one, the one, the, what, six, what was it? Not that. 6-7. ASUs? O-C-Ps? All of them.

Nice. Bert was telling me his first name, Zique. Zeke. Zeke. Kyle, that's great. So, but I want to get to like, because I am very familiar with how my process works. And as silly as this may sound,

it is just hanging out. out and kind of waiting for it to show up. Like if I journal now, starting on my 53rd birthday, I'll journal every morning. It's not incondusive for me writing stand-up. I don't, my journal is a little, God forbid anyone to refine this, they'll have me committed. But, and I can't journal to music. I have to journals a silence. Yeah.

And writing a joke is silly. Like I was listening to your album on the plane. And I said, I want to listen to it a few times. And sometimes with an audio book, you can hit times too. So I was like, oh, I wonder if there's a times two. And then I was like, oh, and then I'd come out and going, I listened to your album on double speed. It's not that good. You know?

But so then that's like a silly joke I wrote in my head. So that's my process. I got to wait to be silly for it to happen. You were talking about how important this engineer was in an interview. I forget what you were where I got it. And I'm curious, I'm curious, like, we don't even have any of that. Standup, it's just you. So, like, what does an engineer bring to the table?

and where you recorded this whole album was important, right? Yeah. It was at Capricorn? Yeah, recorded it at Capricorn Studios in Macon, Georgia. And, you know, an engineer or a producer's job is really, for me, is to come in and to almost artificially create an energy in which you can be your most vulnerable and honest self. Wait, where is Capricorn?

Is that in downtown, downtown Macon? Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. Allman Brothers recorded all their stuff, or not all their stuff. I mean, this is where they first got together and performed as a band for Phil Walden, who started the company. And before it was Capricorn, it was Red Wall. So it was Otis Redding and Phil Wall.

Otis Redding is from Making Georgia. Yeah, him and Little Richard from the same street. Are you serious? Yeah. How about Kodak Black and Lamar Jackson went to grade school together? Wow. Yeah, and it makes so much sense. Small world.

I love when that happens. Like when Jason Williams and Randy Moss played basketball together, I love that. But Otis Redding breaks my heart. Yeah. The story of Otis Redding, do you, do you know, are you, how familiar you with Otis? Very familiar. So do you want to tell everyone how he basically just put out one album. He was like 26 and then dying.

I mean, he put out all this wonderful music and he had the first posture. number one single, which is kind of a big deal. You know, he was the first one to have a number one hit, like, after he'd already passed away. His plane went down. Where was that up in... I think it was in a frozen lake. It was a frozen lake. And it was before, like, you know, they had laws around, like, being able to photograph.

Like, so there's photographs of him, like, being pulled up out of the lake. And it's just really awful stuff. And, you know, he wrote sitting on the dock of the bay. after he did Monterey Pop Festival in San Francisco or Monterey, rather, he did that festival, blew everybody's minds. You know, he had Steve Cropper, Al Jackson Jr., Booker T. He had Booker Tee in the MGs as his back and been. He's a Macon, Georgia guy, recorded all of his stuff down in Memphis, Tennessee,

and they found that sound. And he went out there and sitting on the dock of the bay, you know, he didn't finish it. That's why he whistled the last, you know, a little, refrain. So he whistled it because he was going to sing something else there, but he died before he had the chance to do so. So they put it out like that. And it became one of the more memorable parts of the song. Yeah. It's a part everyone can sing along to. Yeah. What's your favorite Otis Redding song? My favorite Otis Redding song is probably cigarettes and black coffee.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great one. I like try a little tenderness. Oh, man. And can I tell you I feel like try a little tenderness is I can't listen to the Jay-Z remix. I love it. It breaks my heart. Yeah. So I go, don't touch it. Yeah. Like, don't touch it.

That song on a Sunday morning sitting in a pool before your kids are up with a cup of coffee, cranking on the stereo, evokes church to me. Oh, yeah. Speaking of which you're working with Corey Henry tonight. I am. Wow. Yeah. You know, I had like an emotional. moment with him. You may have heard of Hello Fresh, the number one meal kit in America. They are

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Head to BluHu.com for details and important safety information, and we thank Blue Choo for sponsoring the podcast. Oh, yeah. That's right. I did, it was a Sunday morning in San Francisco, and we were at the Blue Note Jazz Festival, and I think Chappelle had invited us up. Me and Leanne went, we were supposed to go see why. widespread in Alabama, and Leanne was like, fuck that.

Let's go to Chappelle's Festival. That's a hard pivot. Right? And I feel like you and I, we're pretty kindred spirits. Like, I get prepared for one thing, and if we pivot, I'm a little out of sorts. You know how she tricked me. How? Come on.

We'll get drunk. See? And I was like, okay, I had a man. Because if we had gone to widespread, it would have been her, probably not drinking, watching me drink. And then I would have been like, motherfucker. And then I'd be like, let's smoke wheat. I don't like, oh, make me sick. I won't throw up.

And then, but we went to that and I woke up one Sunday morning. She goes, let's get a cocktail and go see what's out there. Corey Henry held like a mass at like noon, 1230. And we ended up, I mean, it was the coolest event. And you can edit whatever you want out of this, but this is so interesting. At that, I'm sitting. I light a joint. I have a cocktail.

I think it was the first time I ever had a buzzball. And this black dude sitting there in his recliner smoking a cigar. And he looks at me and I said, Matt, I wish I had one of those. And he opens up. He goes, take one. And I was like, yeah? He goes, yeah, and just give me a cigar next time you see me. And I go, I don't know when that's going to be.

He goes, come find me. And I said, give me your number. I travel a lot. His name was James Earl Jones. It's not the one you think. It's a different James, Ronald Jones? It's a different James Earl Jones. And me and this guy started texting, Marcus.

And we've been texting now for like three years. And he didn't know, like I said, hey, I'm in here. I shouldn't say where he lives, wherever that area. I said, yo, I'm in your neighborhood. Why don't you come have a cigar with me? He's like, great, where are you at? And I was like the arena. And he was like, huh?

I said performing. And he's like, you're famous? And I was like, yeah, come. So we sat by my tour bus and had a cigar. And now we keep in touch. He texted me. He hit me up one day. He goes, he's saying, man, I'm following you on Instagram.

You're, like, losing weight. I'm going to the doctor for the first time. You inspired me. So we've kept in touch. That's awesome. Yeah. And he's just named James Earl Jones. Isn't that crazy?

Is he younger or older than... He's my age. Okay, so he's younger than the other James Earl Jones. That's really interesting, man. Look at this. It's a very burnt situation. Oh, look, it's just him. Every day he sends me whatever she's smoking.

Isn't that great? That's awesome. We have a friendship and we just, and I text them when I'm smoking. The cigar community is a good community. They're pretty chill people. What's better? So are you still sober? I am sober.

How long? I mean, the broad answer is probably the last time we podcasted together. I fell off the wagon like the night before, just to clear the air. I was in San Diego, fell off the wagon down there, rolled it into L.A., came here, and that's the first time we met each other. So this is like two years ago, maybe almost three. I was like, I'm hurting, buddy. And you're like, I got you.

I was someone was like, dude, you're getting negative comments. You were drinking with Marcus, he's been sober. I was like, I don't get a fuck. I was like, I don't really, I was. It was such a great thought. a cathartic experience and it was needed, you know? I mean, it's an unpopular thing to say, but, like, I do feel like being completely drunk with a good friend and person you can talk to.

I would have preferred our conversation would be, would not live on the internet, but that conversation needed to happen for me in my heart, and it's just easier to have those conversations when you're, you know, in a bag a little bit. It's a little, it's a little easier to be audited. drunk. Absolutely. I told our couples therapist, I may come a, I might come drunk a couple times. She was like, do you need that?

And I was like, no, but just giving you a heads up, I'm not really great at therapy, but I was like, let's not forget who pays the bill here. So if you like your job, I'm going to show up in the bag a couple times. Yeah. And you're going to get a different side of me. You're going to get a little more honest side. I don't know. I don't know.

Do you struggle with wanting to drink? it all? Because there's a pill I'm taking that'll take that away right away. Yeah. I'm taking that Mangaro shot. Oh, yeah. I saw your post. Dude. It does this. Everything, everything. It just goes like, ugh. Yeah, I mean, nothing's fun. Yeah, it takes your sparkle away. It does. I mean, you know, it's just like. You're not supposed to drink champagne and go, I know, man. Everything fun in life. I just can't, I can't do moderation. I know. I don't have a problem, you know, not starting. I just. have a problem stopping. So I encourage everybody what's helped me stay sober as long as I

have, which is this is probably the longest I've been sober in my life. And I did it because I love my wife. And, you know, I thought when I met her that I could learn how to drink like a gentleman. I was like, I'm happy. I don't need to drink to forget things. I want to enjoy my life. But there's something in me that, you know, comes to life when I've had too much. and it wants to destroy everything good in my life because I don't feel like I deserve it. So that's what alcohol does to me. And it was a lot of time discovering that and realizing that and realizing I don't want it. But I like everyone else around me to have a good time because they can do it responsibly.

And really, like what we were talking about, like alcohol just kind of lowers that social barrier, that uncomfortability of like social interaction. You have that? I absolutely have it. But now, you know, instead of me having a few cocktails when I go somewhere so I can be more loose and have more conversations, I allow everybody else to kind of have a few. And I just look at it in that perspective. Everyone else has let their guard down. So it allows me just to be me.

It helps me. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. When was the last time you wanted to drink? You were like where you were like like, like, like I do sober October every year and I just finished it. and getting back off the wagon is really difficult for me. Having that first drink is really difficult.

Yeah. I usually never want it. And every time I've done it recently in the last couple of years, meaning a chunk of sobriety in that first drink, it's been almost like court-ordered type thing. I had a cruise. It was the first night of the cruise, and they're like, you're going to have to drink on the cruise.

Right. And then I was with my daughter, Georgia. We were at Parents Weekend. She was like, yo, you'll have a beer with me, right? And I was like, absolutely. And then, but then the second I start, it's like, all right, we're back. We're back in the game. Like, there's no, like my moderation, I got to, I have to do, I have to do chunks of not drinking and then chunks are drinking.

And chunks are not drinking and chunks are drinking. Yeah. And then until I took this Manjaro shit, now I'm like, it's like, it's, I mean, I got on a plane yesterday wanting a drink. and I was just, I wanted to throw up when it got to me and I went, I can't take it. I know, man. Like, when I started this album, like, I actually, because we started the record, gosh, like three years ago.

Really? It's an interesting album for me to listen back to. It's an interesting album for me to listen to you. Because I'm wondering what songs are about your relationship, what songs are about addiction, what songs are just stories. Like, it's a really interesting album. And I can't even, I can't even, like, there's a line.

I think it's, I can't remember, every time I put it down, it gets heavier or something. Oh, yeah, it gets heavier every time I put it down. Yeah, and no wonder you wrote it. The way I said, it's dumber. But, yeah, and I go, and I, you know, that's for me, that, I know what that means. It's the bottle. Every time I put it down, I go, maybe I'll never pick it up it. You know what I mean?

but I'm curious to know about that, but you were saying, the question was last time you wanted to party and you were like... Right. Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, the record's interesting because there is this kind of dichotomy of like my creative process. Like half of the record I did when I was still drinking heavily. And I remember those times and all those times were really fun. My buddy Brent Hines was there and we were doing mushrooms and drinking a lot. And then the rest of the record was just microdosing and being healthy, being sober. So when I listen back to it, I can kind of see which moments, you know, and just really kind of analyze them. But the last time I really wanted to party, I guess, I mean, it's hard to say, man.

I mean, the moment that comes to mind is probably the Floraabama because I wasn't drinking then. And everyone was having such a good time. But there comes a moment like around 1 or 2 a.m. where I'm like, I think I made the right call. Yeah. You know? For me, it's at home. It's at 8.30.

Once I hit 8.30. If I hadn't had a drink by 8.30, I go, oh, yeah, it's not worth it. No, I haven't. If I can get to 8.30, I call it the witching hours when the sun sets and it looks beautiful outside. Yeah. And everything seems perfect. And you feel like you earned it. Because there's got to be times where you're like, yo, man, I'm one of the hardest working motherfuckers out there.

I mean, my wife gets on to me because, like, you know, I like to have my morning smoke. I like to have my morning cigarette. And some days, I'm like, I'll fucking crack a Hanukin' Zero, you know, with my cigarette. So I'm having a beer and a cigarette technically at like seven in the morning. But it's an N.A. And I'm like, this is the price I have to pay, you know. Yeah. It just means that this day would have been off the rails because I woke up wanting to have a drink.

You know, and it could have gone off the roads really easily. But, yeah. That's good. Yeah. NAs have never gotten done it for me. I never was an N.A. guy, but like, I guess a year or two ago, I don't know. Something about them, just that placebo effect, I guess. Wait, can you microdose?

Mushrooms? Yeah, absolutely. So, okay, then if you can microdose mushrooms, how come we can't microdose everything? That's a good question, Bert. I would love to microdose alcohol. I think it's, you know, an interesting conversation to be had. What they need to do is it needs to be a certain amount of alcohol to just get me to that. All I want to feel is the sparkle.

Yeah. That's all I want to see is that and then and then let it go away. And then just get there. They should do like a... I do feel like mushrooms kind of do that. That's what they say. I can't, I'm never microdose mushrooms. also only use mushrooms to trip my balls on.

Right. You've only macrodosed. If you take a microdose, you might be surprised. It kind of gives you that sparkle. It gives you that like, all right. Really? Yeah. So, so then like, so here's my problem with Xanax. I can never take Xanax on a, I love Xanax. I think Xanax is one of the greatest drugs in the world. I haven't taken it. I haven't taken it in probably three years. Okay. My cardiologist told me, so I was explaining my, I was explaining my lifestyle to my cardiologist, and he was like this. I was like, yeah, I like to get off.

I get after it on the weekends and then. Tore out the frame. Yeah. And on Monday, I take a Xanax around 4 p.m. So I don't have the, I take half a Xanax at 4 p.m. I don't have the, I don't want to drink. And then I take, I sleep great. And then I don't drink Tuesday.

I don't drink Wednesday. I head out on the road Thursday and I'll drink Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Xanax on. And he was like, stop, stop with the Xanax. He's like, it melts your brain. I was like, really? He goes, never take Xanax again. I'm never going to let you take Xanax again. So I've taken Zanax since.

But my problem with Xanax on a plane is I couldn't, I couldn't manage it. You know what I mean? I took it and it was there. But I like the taking of it. Oh. I like the, I like the drinking. I like the actual, I like measuring it. I like the being the scientist that's working this thing.

Do you know? Yeah. It's like with cocaine, I would love to be the guy that does one line. But the fun of cocaine is having it in your pocket. It is fun.

And then you want to get rid of it. Yeah. You know? I used to get rid of a lot. Yeah? Oh, yeah. I enjoyed it so much, dude. It was, I mean,

my dad told me when I was like 17, he said, never try cocaine because you'll love it. And I did, boy. And it delivers. It does, every time. I mean, can you imagine being the first guy in the jungle that discovered cocaine, and you're like, I think I figured

out God. Yeah, I think I discovered. And I'm him. Yeah. I mean, hell, like, in its original state, like, the Coca-Leaves, so, like, it was in Coca-Cola, you know. But now when you see them, like, even if you go back and see, like, how they process it with the gasoline and stuff, it's a little sketchy.

And for years, like, the baby laxative and stuff that they would cut it with, like, when I found some real uncut stuff, like, I think the first. first time was in Jamaica and I was like 19 and yeah I was doing a lot of this like really pure you know coke and it was it was a crazy time but um when the fentanyl came in into play I was like yeah I think I'm gonna bow out and I met my wife like the next night for real yeah I ran out of cocaine and I was like I don't think I want to fuck with that anymore because I wasn't gonna be home for a while and the dude that I got it from he like meticulously tested it and like you know he would always get me really clean stuff and um you know I was like I don't really want to try my chances out here

on the road to find it you know and then I actually met my wife's the next night and I didn't want to do it well I wanted to do it but like I just didn't want to take the risk because I had something I wanted to live for you know wow Is it tough growing up, for lack of better words, like a prodigy? It's kind of interesting, man. I don't know. I just, I wanted to do anything I could to make myself feel like people loved me. So I would, I put all my eggs in that basket.

I play it all the time because that's how I would experience love. did you feel like when you were a kid did you feel like you didn't deserve love? Absolutely. Really? I still struggle with that. How? You're so loved.

I know. You're like, you're actually in the group when I think of it of the like most lovable people. Thanks. I feel the same about you. Well, I should check the comments on this episode. Be shocked how many people hate me.

And you know that, really for a period of time, that really affected me. I don't know. Me too. Because you go, I'm my only goal, and I wasn't a prodigy, I was just,

and I'm, my only goal was to get, was approval, you know, that's why I got into stand-up is I could tell if they liked it. And if they didn't like it, I tried something different

to get them to like it. And the only currency in my business is approval. And, and negativity, people that didn't like me, I, it made me,

so confused. I was like, I'm trying everything to get you to like me. Yeah. And then they could just be like, yeah, fuck you. You're, you're corny or whatever. And you'd be like, ugh. But someone like you, you are undeniably, like as I, whenever I bring you up to anyone, the base thing they say is there's something different about him. He's special. And you, you've heard that your whole life, but even you still say, I got, I, I don't feel it. yeah it's something that I'm still chasing down you know with therapy and it's hard like you know my therapist called me the other day and I forgot we had a session and I had something to do so I answered the phone spoke to it for like 20 minutes I was like I'm sorry I got to I got to jump off here

but like prioritizing you know physical and mental health that's been a big one for me just trying to discover the root of why I don't feel like I deserve love you know And there's something in me like when I drink, it really comes out. For real? And I feel like I need to destroy anything that does give me love or affection because I don't deserve it anyway, you know, just. When you're in good shape, like you're in pretty good shape right now. I'm okay. You look good.

Thanks. Does that make you feel better by yourself? Yeah. I mean, if I can feel physically like I'm, you know, losing weight or. You know, it's actually hard having, like, a really hot wife, too, because, like, the internet comments, again, people are like, you know, what's going on here. Like, this woman does not care about this guy. And it's like, I know, I really think she does, you know? And it can, it could create, like, insecurities within your own home, just people throwing bullshit comments out there, you know?

And sometimes they're funny. It's like, they look like every SEC couple. that's hilarious you know if people are funny in an internet comment and they're being disparaging I give that a hall pass like if somebody calls me biggie strings that's fucking hilarious yeah but you know if you're funny in a comment yeah I'll laugh but if you're just like super mean I mean it really does get to me um what's crazy is it even the really mean people and I hate to like try to get meta about this they're more like us than they think they're struggling for love too.

That's why they're coming with hate. I mean, I can't imagine it. I understand that I would love for someone to explain why hate is fun. Like, I would love, you know, those people that put out, like, mean videos or, or I would love for them to really break it down and go, this is what I get out of it. Like, because I'm curious because I can't get, I can't, when they do them about my friends, I can't watch those. Yeah. Like, I can't, and I have friends who, like, send me clips about me. And they're like, do you see this?

This is hysterical. And I'm like, oh, no. Dude, I know, like, my wife has friends who will, like, send videos and be like, can you believe what this person said about you? And I'm like, you have to stop doing that. Because Briley and I are really similar. We kind of go through these, like, and we're much better about it now, but we'll go through these patterns of, like, I'll be, like, really down on myself

because I've read the wrong shit. And then she does it, and we just kind of help each other out of that, you know, that cycle. But, yeah. It's so funny because I was with Briley Jelly Rolls Roast. Oh, yeah. And we were talking in. She brought something like that up. It's interesting to me as an outsider.

I watched her, for anyone who doesn't know, Briley's absolutely gorgeous. And I watched her go into a club with us. And I looked at guys, look at her. and I watched her. She is a lot like Leanne. She has singularly focused. She has no interest in talking to anyone. She was there to hang out with me and Leanne, I think, and Bunny and Jelly.

And just in a group, she was not like going around and trying to get drinks or meet. It was, she was a married woman. And it was interesting to see that because I, she's standing next to Leanne the entire time. The two of them were like inseparable and just had married chick energy. And I know a dude hit on her, she went like this, the fuck. And then looked at Leanne. She's like, no. And then both them rolled their eyes.

And then she randomly brought up one of the things she had read online or someone had sent her online. And I'd never seen that. I'd never seen it because I don't read the comment. And I said to her, it's not real to me. Yeah. And then I realized, oh, but it's very real to her. And whatever's real to me, it's not real to anyone else.

It's not real to the people I'm doing. projects with. They don't read it. They're like, oh, what are you talking about? Like you just said, I think you're loved. And I go, oh, you know, one of my favorite human beings in the world is Theo Vaughn. I think he's a precious guy, meaning I think he's special in a lot of ways. He's very, it's a lot like me and you. There's, you know, stubs and his problems and very sensitive, sweet guy. All he doesn't have a fucking negative bone in his body. but I but you know it's I when it's when I look at you I go you're like Chappelle to me like you guys were just giving a gift and all you're doing is you're

sharing that gift with the world and how can anyone say anything but thank you well that's I mean that's a really nice way to put it um I've never seen a nasty comment from an attractive person and maybe it's the ghost accounts maybe that's an attractive person but i doubt it i've never seen an attractive person you know willingly without you know a private account or like a ghost account say something disparaging it's always you know just dog-ass ugly people yeah so do is there are there comments that and use it for what you want are there comments that live in your head because i have like there's like one comment

that one guy wrote when i was still doing clubs and by the way wasn't selling tickets at clubs and i think about that comment so often at one comment he goes it was like i'll be at the i was i was i can tell you where i was playing i was playing minnesota at house of comedy i think it's called acme house not acme it's uh the one in the mall it's the one in the mall uh jimmy sister, Jill Kimmel opened me for this weekend, that weekend. That's how, this time, it's so bizarre, still on Travel Channel. Really? Yeah, and someone wrote, this guy sucks.

All he does is take his shirt off, get drunk as fuck, and tell one story. And I was like, yeah, technically. What's wrong with that? Yeah, but I was like, but clearly I do more than that. You do way more than that. That's all you see. I think of that, I think of that comment. And there was another comment, I just.

I got on to a live stream, like a football game or whatever. Yeah. And I was like, oh, this is awesome. And someone was like, oh, shit, Bert Chrysler is in here. And someone was like, Bert Kreiser. And this dude goes, oh, cool, a 50-year-old guy who smokes weed. And I was like, oh, what the fuck? What's wrong with that?

I can't even just go in here. It does the fucking, they get you sometimes. And then there's just hurtful ones where you're like, oh. what like there was this there was this yeah and then they say don't even talk about them because it gets you know that what they want is the attention but you know I wish we just make the world a better place I've never left a negative comment ever I've replied to a few of them you know just I like to do it I don't really do it anymore but for a time there I would reply to to one every few months just to kind of remind people that I'm looking at this shit you know because I feel like they do kind of of remove you from, like, being a real human. They look at you as a brand, you know? It's like, if you say something shitty about Pepsi or Coca-Cola, you don't think about one person being upset, you know?

So if you look at Marcus King or Burke Crusher as a brand, you're like, this guy fucking sucks, you know, you're thinking about it as a brand. You're not thinking about that person looking at him and getting upset by it. So every now and again, somebody will say something really shitty and I'll message him and be like, that was really hurtful. And they almost never reply. But I just want to scare a little Jesus into him, you know?

I got a good one. You want to hear it? I want to hear it. I was on Instagram. And, you know, sometimes I get, my fingers get fast and I get ahead of myself. Yeah. And you get having fingers. And I think, I know, I think the guy's a friend of mine now, and I can't really remember everything.

But I see one of the guys on this podcast. and he's a comedian and he's got a podcast with his best friend who's not a comedian I don't know and he goes Bert Kreischer

and the guy goes Bert fucking Kreischer and I went ooh nice I'm about to get a little love so real quick I checked that comedian and I go

oh yeah I know him I follow him already I go let me real quick follow his friend follow their podcast and like this video now what were they saying about Burke Kreischer

and they're like fucking Bert Kreisher is the most annoying person alive. I am done with him and his laugh. It's like he's never been funny. Joe Rogan made him famous. I'm like, uh,

I know, I've already liked everyone and I've already followed everyone. And I'm like, oh my God, now I got to unfollow. And then I was like, so I just texted them and I was like, guys, I'm really sorry I followed you. I didn't know you hated me. I'm really sorry. I liked the video about you hating me, but like just letting you know that.

And then the one guy who grew back. Holy fuck, I never thought you'd see this. Right. And I was like, well, you tagged Bert Chrysler in it. Why wouldn't you think it would come across my page? Right. And he was like, we were just talking shit, man. And you're like, okay.

So then I write half of it off to just talking shit. I write half of it off to being contrarian. They see a lot of love. They want to go, this guy fucking sucks. I write half it off. But then I wonder, you know, does like someone like fucking Chris Stapleton get negative comments and does he get upset? Chris Stapleton looks to me like this untouchable.

mass of hair. Yeah. You know? Or like Zach Brown. Yeah. Like fucking just when, I'm not saying that I think we're artists who wear our, are everything on our sleeve. Like when I listen to your music, you're very vulnerable.

Your, your albums aren't a, I'm not, try to find the right way to say this. Your music isn't, isn't branded to sell a whiskey. Does that make sense? Absolutely. Like your music is about, like my favorite song in this album, I've listened to the whole album. Dirt was the first song that caught in our house where Leanne just played it on repeat. It's on and repeat. The on and on was the one that, and I started crying when I was listening to it because I realized why I love you so much.

And it's that you sound so much like one of my favorite artists ever, Shannon Hoon. Oh, wow. And I didn't, it's not until the very end of on and on when it's just you, kind of acapella. And I went, oh, my God, this is, I love, your voice is so, so honest. I had one other person tell me that, somebody I used to work with. For real? Yeah. You fired them?

No, no. It was, no, they're very good people. It was from, like, my first management team. She worked with me. But she always told me I sounded like Shannon Hoon, which is a really high praise. He's, I mean, I think he is so underrated as a musician. Yeah. Now, knowing what I know about music now, you know, I, it's, you know, your artistry is,

I have a weird time talking shit about one of my favorite music. musicians. But all of a sudden, I listened to on and on, and I went, oh, my God, it's like your favorite artist passes away. And now all of a sudden, it's like I get, I get two and one, because now one of my favorite humans is, it's almost like a mashup. And I was like, as soon as I heard that song, then all of a sudden, I was like, I was, I was just diving into everything. This whole album is so incredible. And the people you chose to work with, are so interesting and so and add so much to it this album is just incredible what um what what did you ever think and i i'm just saying this because we're talking about artists taken away too

early i watched this documentary on jeff buckley you ever know anything about jeff buckley not a great swimmer how we can get that out that that that fucking that fucking Guy. No, he was fantastic. Yeah. He was a sensitive dude. Or do you like sensitive artists? Or is there a part of you that looks at like Leonard Skinner? And I like, I do like attitude.

I like attitude. You got attitude on stage. It's, it's foe, yeah. No. I mean, it's real. Like, I got to pump myself up a little bit, but you go out there and you got to be confident. It's like charming a snake, you know. We're talking to a girl at a bar.

The whole audience is just the girl at the bar. and like if you go out there like they'll smell the fear on you yeah and there's some nights where like I know you can smell the fear on me and you know I just got to lean into that but um you know I try to go out there and be as confident as I can and that usually makes for the best show yeah but when you like let's rank southern rock bands and then tell me what you what you liked about them okay okay so let's say let's do top five southern rock bands Leonard Skinnerd Norman Brothers, Marshall Tucker Band. Let's go someone a little newer.

Can we, what, where can we quantify Southern Rock? Give me two more that you would name and that. I think you could throw the Black Crows in there. Oh, 100%. Yeah. And I think you could throw, I think it would be good to throw, you want like a newer band? because they kind of cover like that 90s portion.

So like Blackberry Smoke, I think, would be... I don't know, BlackBerry Smoke. Man, they're fantastic. Really? Yeah. BlackBerry Smoke? It's my buddy Charlie Star. They're in Atlanta band, and Charlie's been one of my good friends for years.

A wonderful writer and human being. They're definitely on that list for me. Okay, so then let's do this. So we'll take these bands. say their best song that exemplifies the band. So for Leonard, what song do you think exemplifies the band? Leonard Schenner, it exemplifies the band. And I'll throw out some ideas, okay?

Give me three steps. It paints a perfect southern rock picture of a concrete square bar that's dimly lit. Yeah, dimly lit with a sticky bar and the right kind of, and there's cigarette smoke everywhere, and the door opens up, and you feel that, right? Simple man is, simple man is a porch. It is, it is hot. It is an unbuttoned shirt. It is the South.

Give me three, Tuesday's gone. Oh, my God. I mean, you start getting into it. Jesus Christ, what's the best Leonard Skinner song? Best Leonard Skinner song. I mean, my favorite is a song called I Ain't the One. Motherfucker, how am I not listen to that? It's so heavy.

Give me back my bullets. That's a great one. I Ain't The One, like that first record pronounced Leonard Skinner, Ed King, he actually, because Leon Wickleson, like, he left the band really temporarily, just enough time for them to cut this record, and Ed King played all the bass parts on that record. So if you listen to the first album, it's a guitar player playing bass, and, like, there's some really inventive stuff that happened on the bass guitar on that first record. And this song's a great example of that.

I ain't the one? I mean, I don't think I've ever heard I ain't the one. It's great. So I'm really, because I used to make fun of dead fans when they're like, I'm a big dead fan. They're really easy to make fun of. It's Orthodox Church, man. I can't get in it. I can't get behind it.

For real? Yeah, dude. Oh, I love the deep cuts of the dead or what I love. Like, you're a great, Grateful Dead fan because you get. can do it casually. Yeah. You know? And we're both

addictive personalities, but we can do the Grateful Dead casually. What does that say? You know what I'm saying? It's something that we don't have to do all the time every day. God,

how do we just find a way to fucking transition that into drugs and alcohol? I'm just saying, you know? So wait, so, so what would you say that is the, so you say,

I ain't the ones the song, but what's the song that exemplifies this band? Is it Freebird? Is it Freebird? best song? I don't know if it's their best song. I'd say that in Sweet Home Alabama.

Sweet Home Alabama. I mean, it's on the state sign. Sweet home. I got to be honest with anything, I think Adam Sandler ruined Tuesday's gone for me. Oh, really? All I think of is Happy Gilmore. It's such a perfect song for that movie.

It's such a perfect song that it's like, you know, it's so funny, that's what music's happened a little bit is it, because of the easiest way to get a song popular is get it on TikTok and then it becomes a TikTok song and then what would could have been an anthem for a generation now is just like like a dance move dude it it pisses me off so bad like and i think i'm i'm definitely just sour grapes about it but like i got on stage the other night and i was really feeling just kind of i don't know just down in the dumps because we were tired and like we're going on to play in this like sea market and like we had a hard time

I'm filling up the room and we're just like, it's a fucking Monday night and like, who wants to go to a concert in Corpus Christi on a Monday fucking night and we're tired and we're up there and like I was playing a song. I'm like, this is a song I wrote and I went to a recording studio and I recorded it and then I released it on a record like an adult. I didn't put it right on fucking TikTok. And it's because I'm sour about it and I get pissed off because there's like kids out there that are like, you know, going to have me open.

for them and I've been just like with my head in the fucking dirt for 10 years and they haven't left their couch and you know and people are like they're in high demand yeah people are losing their fucking minds and I'm like this is what's wrong with our country bird this is what I was you know yeah no no I listen I'm I am I am I am I am I am biting my tongue because I'm watching the decline of stand-up comedy yeah I'm watching it with my own eyes and I'm like and I'm like I and I've said it to people I've said it I was like we had a we had a boom and it's but I don't I think started the decline like crowdwork clips wow I'll tell you crowd work clips didn't help because it turned comedy into it it it

introduced comedy to a bunch of people that didn't know about comedy as in this is how it's done You yell at them, and then they'll defend themselves. And that never was something anyone wanted to do. What you want to do, I mean, the art form in essence is getting a bunch of strangers. That's a very important part, strangers to laugh at your idea and come together and celebrate funny ideas that remind them that they're all the same. And then, you know, and I've had people yell out at my shows, you know, and it's tough. because you're in a big venue so I don't know I don't you can't even fucking hear them right and then but yeah it's crowdwork clips and it wasn't just that it was like crowdwork clips it was that

a couple guys did it and they did it pretty well like I'll tell you real quick uh Mark norman and Sam Raoul are brilliant and so good they're so good and but they're not even I got to let everyone realize that that's not technically what they're doing what they're doing is they're writing on stage faster about topical issues than anyone else could. And so they're really brilliant comics. They got a rap as crowdwork comics. When it was, that's not what I'm upset with. Matt Rife's crowdwork special is very fucking artful.

I mean, he is very talented to crowdwork. Big J is the greatest. Big J is in bag, Big J. They are insane crowdwork comedians. And I bring it up only because I've heard other people complain about crowdwork clips and like when I see like big jays crowdwork special they them I'm like this is some of the greatest of all time I took my whole like family like the night before I got married to see big jay at uh zanies in Nashville and like my super conservative like wife's family

was just you know he almost walked him a few times oh yeah it was great yeah it was fantastic by the way I have to say this big j when we took when he went out and did fully loaded with us, he would get on stage and not do crowdwork for 15 minutes and destroy. He's sitting on a stool. Yeah. But if he decides to do crowdwork, you will not move until he decides you're done. Yeah. He is just brilliant.

He is. But then a bunch of people thought they could do what Big Jay did. And then it's just them going, where are you from? And the guy tells him, he's like, oh, wow, that's crazy there. And then he gets four million views and you're like, wow. And then, I mean, you know, but once again, it's like, it's like there's a guy I was talking to, and I, and Jeff Okiria is his name, and he was like, I'm a big crowdwork comic, and I kind of rolled my eyes at it. He's a very nice guy, and he's very talented. But I was like, I wouldn't say you're a crowdwork. Don't say you're, but he's known as a crowdwork guy, you know? And I was like, and I was just like, that, you know, when we were kids, crowdworks what we did to get out of a bad spot. Right. That was when you were failing. Yeah, you got to, yeah. Nick, you know, you, and so, but then I watched his videos,

and I was like, well, he's pretty fucking amazing. Nice. That was fantastic. Tommy. What's up, dude? I'm on the podcast with Marcus King. Oh, what's up, Marcus? What's up, dude?

We were just talking about you. Oh, okay. Hey, what do you think about crowdwork comics? I mean, it's a, you know, to what level? It's like it's the skill you should have. If it's your whole set, you ain't shit. But, I mean, it's definitely something you should be able to do. Okay.

We'll call you later. We just, I didn't realize I saved your ringtone. It's raining men. Yeah, scared the shit out of them. It was great. That's perfect. Yeah. So who you trash in in particular?

I know you're going to go for somebody. No, we were just, Marcus and I are having a very emotional two bears right now. And so we're talking about negative comments and not feeling worth anything and trying to get people to like us on stage and confidence and should we feel love. And then, and then Marcus was talking about how musicians are TikTok kids and then all of a sudden they blow up. Yeah. And he's like. And it's kind of the similarity being like crowdwork clips going viral to like kids like, you know. that that was the kind of the similarity there we were discussing yeah i mean you know the one thing is

don't forget that we all feel the same dude we all fucking feel the same it's everybody's the same we all wish we were liked more we all want more respect it's all we're the same yeah well clip that out everybody because i can't believe i've ever heard you say that you're you're the most confident fucking person i've ever met yeah that is not true that's not true okay okay And I love you. And I love you too, Marcus. I love you, man. I love you, too.

Bye, bye, brother. Okay. Do you know how many times? You know, it's so funny, when we started talking about this, it's like, I have an authentic relationship with you. I have an authentic relationship with Jelly. I'll never have an authentic relationship with Zach Brown. And I like Zach a lot, but because I met him when he was famous.

So I'll always look at him as like, that's Zach Brown. Yeah. When I met you, first time I ever saw him. you was on your mom's house and you just come out with your first album i think not your first obviously yeah i can't but yeah but i was like who is this guy and then i was like oh cool well he's like this sounds weird like he's attainable i can touch him because he's did tom's podcast no i know what you mean and so and then with jelly i knew before he was famous so i was like so jelly's never going to be i'll never call him jason you know like i'm like you know like you know does that make sense he should

Jason But Tom is someone I've known I knew Tom when he was just fat with hot sauce in his back pocket Yeah But then he also is this Tom That I have Try to wrap my head around

Who he has a podcasting empire I mean it's I think he has the biggest podcasting network Right now I think it's the biggest one out there He is in production In like two movies And another TV show

and he's producing other movies and then we own a vodka to get he's outgrown me business-wise I'm just still you know a couple podcasts and and doing some TV and movies like he's huge I forget sometimes that he's my friend does that make sense I know what you mean where it's like and so when he says stuff like that like I never I've never I'm like when is anything it humanizes him a little bit I forget that he's human yeah The cape comes off. Yeah, like when we talk, yeah, like, you know,

even just that conversation, like, what's ever shaking you, Tom? Right. Who do you think is the most unsh- Well, let's go back to how well, who do you think the most unshakable musician out there is? Unshakeable.

Probably Chris Robinson, because he's an asshole. And he doesn't care what anybody thinks. And, like, part of me sometimes is like, I want that. But then I'm like, no, I don't. Because there's like no empathy connected to it. You know, I think that like completely unshakability is usually connected to probably some really deep-rooted issues that you haven't discovered yourself.

Yeah. You know? So I hate to answer the question because it really is just so aligned with just a personality type that I can't stand. Yeah, you know. I want people to be shakable. I'm the comics that... Artists. I mean. Enjoy bad,

bad comments. I'm not a big fan of their comedy. No, I mean. The ones that are like, I fucking love when they give me bad comments. You're like, I think you're doing this wrong.

Yeah, I don't, yeah. You can't thrive off of the negativity. Yeah. And people that say that they do, it's usually a farce. They're usually saying it because, you know, it's like sometimes you can tell people's confidence

is really just, or people's ego is really just a mask for their deep insecurity and you can't hide that from me anyway I can see somebody's bravado or like confidence

I'm like this is a fucking mask it's a shell you're an insecure little man you know and I've seen it a lot especially in the music industry boy you know musicians aside like people that work in the industry

there's a lot of short angry little men with big confidence coats on. Dude, there are guys in our business. I'm not just talking comics in our business that, I mean, they fuck with you in a way that's so unfair and unhealthy that you think, at least I know he's never going to have a good relationship

with a woman because that's who he is. Yeah. Like, if you're going to treat me like that, a man, and you're going to try to fuck with my brain, then I know that that's a woman. a controlling issue you have and you're taken into your marriage or your relationship with your kids there's one guy who i approached because he was fucking me over and uh he had his baby with him and he said what did you say to me and i was like i got to say this you know i'm standing up

for myself and he gave me his baby and he goes i didn't hear that say it again while you're holding my baby and i looked at his baby and i went you're fucked you're fucked you're so fucked It would be better if I dropped you on your head right now And you just had a brain damage Then you never had to understand That who this person was Wow You are so fucked

You are so fucked That's gonna seep into that baby's subconscious I think about that moment That's amazing And I was just You know That Also that's a hardcore

You know Say that to me while you're holding my baby That's crazy I mean It's insanity. It's insanity. But our business welcomes insanity. It's true.

Yeah. It welcomes the insane ones get, you know, so all of a sudden the insane ones are like, I was just having a conversation. I was like I wish I was a little more insane because I feel like dot, dot, dot, dot would pay more attention to me. Because I know that dot, dot, dot, dot, dot works with dot, dot, dot, dot, and the second dot dot dot dot dot's out of their fucking mind. And they just want to put out that fire so they take care of them a ton. Yeah. Well, the insane people now, like the crazy rage.

Like, I've been out here during Grammy week. Like, none of the artists can really let their hair down. You know, we are all such an image. We can't be out on the streets, you know, at Lil Nas X, you know, and his wasn't drug-related, but, like, somebody's going to recognize you and they're going to take a video. He just had a mental breakdown, and I hope he's okay. I'm a really big fan of his.

But I use that just to say, like, somebody's going to recognize it, they're going to see you. But, like, the music industry types, they can get as fucked up as they want with like no repercussion because nobody recognizes them nobody says oh man you're the you know attorney for UMG that's crazy you're fucked up right now nobody knows that they have complete anonymity so they get completely housed and they have all these artists who are like playing outlaw like it's a fucking you know cops and robbers but they're you know really choir boys and they're not getting fucked up and they're not doing the shit that they sing

about you know it's like when i say like morgan wall and throw a chair off a roof i'm like fuck yeah yeah you know you probably shouldn't do that but like that was genuine he got i don't know why he did it but that's awesome keith moon joe walsh uh keith richards do you think that they could survive in today's musical climate they could not no because the industry has weeded these types of people out you know the um you know the backlash that you get like if you're drunk on stage. Like, even for comedians, you know, it's just artistry, you know, you have to be good all the time because you don't have any anonymity. Dude, I got backlash for being drunk on stage in arenas and I've never been drunk on stage in an arena. They just, someone just said, that's what

I bet he does. And then the internet just took off of it. They're like, he's talking about burp, it's always fucking hammered in arenas. And I'm like, never. No, never. Not once. Not once. I did actually this weekend, but not once, Thursday night in Lafayette. I apologize. It was an amazing show. I was a little buzzed. But I did have a drink on stage and drank it before I would normally have started drinking.

But never, I've never fucking blackout drunk. And you know, that's what sucks about all of this, is that all these fucking bands we just named are legends with stories that were like, I don't know. It's like if the internet it was around, there'd be, I'm certain that Roddy Van Zand at one point

jumped off stage and started a fist fight. Oh, yeah. If you did that today, they'd be like, he is. Marcus King crash out. He's problematic, you know. And then you would become an issue in the industry. It's like Axel Rose jumped off the stage, beat the shit out of some guy. That was awesome.

And he did it in like compression shorts and a cheetah jacket. Yes. Yes. That was tight. Axel Rose refuses to go on stage and starts a riot in Toronto. I've always said like, dude, would you want to read an artist's book if he, It was like, we all followed the rules, we went to bed on time, we ate our greens, the end. Yeah.

What kind of fucking story is that? I want to hear some dirt. But here's the thing, is that like... An artist don't really have that anymore. You can't. Who's the, who's probably the realist out there? The realist? Like, the realist.

Like, meaning like, you just said Morgan Whalen. I don't know Morgan Whelan, but I have a feeling I would really like him. But I have a feeling I'd be really bad for him. someone like I feel like I should never meet him that's a fair assessment like there's there was someone someone just said to me the other day they're like you know who you'd really get along with uh it was Nate Barcazzi he goes do you know he'd really get along with and I said who and he said Justin Timberlake and I went oh fucking love Justin Timberlake he goes I'm going to make sure you guys never meet and I went why and he goes trust me he is not you are not what he needs in his

life right now. And I took that as a compliment, but I was like, that makes me like Justin Timberlake. Yeah. Makes me go, oh, I fucking like a dude who, I don't know. But who's like that? Like, who's the, like, the real deal? Well, I kind of, like, people that are real, like, the way I kind of quantify that is just the people who are themselves on and off the stage.

Lany Wilson seems to me like she is. Oh, my gosh, she's so genuine. that she doesn't turn it off. No, she is like that all the time. She's just the sweetest person, and she was like that when she didn't have any money. She's like that. Now, she's one of my favorite people.

Jamie Johnson is super real. Jamie Johnson's on that song with you, Pity. Is that, which songs? A song called Here Today. Here Today, yeah. And I wrote that with Lainey and my friend Meg McCree. Meg McCree is on this album. Yeah, Meg McCree.

She wrote with me on the record. and Jamie Johnson and Caitlin Butz sang the song with me on the record and those are two very real artists Jesse Wells is on the record he's very he's very real you know and I really I like what he does yeah

because he's like he gets compared to Bob Dylan and then he like invites Joan Baez to sing with him he's like fuck it I'm going to lean into it you know it's almost like a trolling bit at that point it's like everybody's compare me to Bob Dylan I'm going to invite Joan Baez to sing with him me you know he's awesome jelly's pretty real like when it's hot when it like there's very few guys I know that have a dab station at a 5k he's pretty fucking real he's yeah he's uh Shane Gillis

is the realist he's super real he's man I love that guy he is he is there's things people don't know about him that I would never share because I don't think it's what he'd ever want people to know about him. I mean, they're not bad. Just like, they're just soft boy stuff. Soft boy stuff. And I love it. It makes me love him so much.

But when it comes to like, dude, he just wants to have a good time. He just, I mean, he's the fucking, the pitying me of a comic for me. Like the day I met him and I made him do, this must have been like 15 years ago. And I made him do fireball shots at like 9 in the morning with me. And he was like, oh, is this what we're doing? You know? It's like, and it was like, I got to call my girlfriend.

I was like, I was like, dating this girl named Big Tuna. And I was like, really, he goes, she's a big girl. I was like, no shit. And he was like, gosh, plays like rugby or something. And I was like, yeah, I guessed. Wow.

Or field hockey. And then I was like, wait, you have a, and then the next day, he emailed me oh I hope I have I don't have this email I'll get the email he emailed me it's so funny

because it is who Shane is hey Bert I thought me and you got along really well yesterday if you're looking for someone to take on the road with you ah so earnest but he attacks all the time the sweetest the nicest things in the world

and he's like the epitome of one of the real ones by opinion and then there's people that aren't people that change your act based on what they feel like the temperature of the community is. You're like, yeah. Yeah, and I don't really have time for that.

Like, I like to hang out with real people. I think you're one of the realest fucking people I know. I try to be, man. I just like to be honest. And I wouldn't say anything about anybody that I wouldn't say to them. You know, I just, and I don't like to talk shit about people. I just, I like to make my observations and, you know, I don't keep them secret. I just, I just see a lot of things happening.

A lot of weird shit happening right now. You should do, you should do like Chris Gaines album. Yeah. Yeah. Where you, where you just write it for his TikTok. Yeah. Just a TikTok album? Just writing a TikTok album.

Dude. And just, I mean. It's not a bad idea. And just, but don't release it under Marcus King. Yeah. Released it under Chris Gaines. And just, uh... I just use that name again.

Yeah. Actually, write it under Burke Chrysher. And then I'll say I released an album. People will mock it, but it'll be so. Catch you, they'll be like, these are all the trends. Yeah. And then it'll go fucking viral. Dude, how funny would that be if I, like, went under a false name, but it's obviously

just me singing, like, they love to see a white boy singing in a field. Those videos go crazy viral. Like, acoustic guitar, woods, they love it. So I just go and do a bunch of those, just singing in the woods, you know? I'm going to do it. I was going to take, so, like, I'm really, I mean, I don't know, I'm going to pause my, uh, my applauding myself I'm working

okay I'm really good at like seeing the thing that's sexy that people don't know is sexy like the white boy playing in the woods is fucking so it's like especially like that early Oliver Anthony shit where it's like and he's singing about oppression and white oppression and and the internet I love I love Oliver Anthony but like

you shouldn't use a cape I want a dough bro that's my hot take I love him though So wait, but I saw that. And I went, wow, that's like, that marketing wise, that's just brilliant, you know? Maybe there's a part of me that should never have gotten in front of the mic. I should have stood behind stage and worked with talent. I don't think that part of me still may come out in the next 15 years.

I don't know. My wife thinks she wants to start a fucking management company. But I am doing an only fan's model for us. And I had ideas that I was taking to create a backstory. for the woman we got to make her more desirable to the guys that are going to support her only fans. And as I was doing it, I was doing it the same way you look at like those TikTok, where you go,

that's exhausting. And then I go, oh, there's tricks that are out there. They are. That I see them use. And I go, I've got a game plan for this. And I called Tommy. And I told him about it. And he was like, this is like borderline manic, lunatic ravings.

and fucking mad scientist. He was like, if you pull this off, it would break the fucking internet. And I was like, I really want to try it. But I always, I always think that there's a way it's like I'd watch, I started by playing silly songs on guitar.

Like, my big claim to fame is I do impressions of different artists playing different songs. So I do the lead singer for the B-52s doing Jane says. Jane says, you know, like, and then I'd write funny songs about always to John Cougar or John Mellencamp because it was easy for me to wrap my head around. So when people started doing guitar music, I was like, oh, I'm going to jump into that real quick. And the second I did, I was like, this isn't what I want to do. Yeah. This isn't what I want to be. Wait, let's go back to our top five so we can, we can round out here. And then, guys, if you're interested, we're going to do a

podcast today. You can go over and listen to the burqcast. But now we got our, it's got to be, Skinner, Skinnered, it's got to be Sweet Home Alabama. Yeah. Okay. Marshall Tongger Band. Can't you see? Can't you see? That's the one.

You've been playing with him, haven't you? I've been working with the original drummer. Okay. So what happened with that group was Tommy Caldwell, he was kind of the band's leader, the bass player. He died in 1980 in a car accident. And after he died, you know, the creative force in the band. the band just kind of, it just wasn't one.

So in 1983, when Paul Riddle quit, the band just kind of fell apart. Doug Gray kind of bought the rights to the band's name, because there's not a real Marshall Tucker in the band. So he bought the rights to the name. The Marshall Tucker was like, that was the name on the lease for their rehearsal place. That's how they got the name. So what we're trying to do now is like rebuild the legacy. of the Caldwell brothers

and me and Charlie Star from Blackberry Smoke O'Till Burbridge from Dead and Company O'Till Burbridge O'Teele's a bad motherfucker He's so great He's a bad motherfucker

He plays bass for the dead Everyone this Yeah but he's a bad motherfucker And he's got a podcast If I'm not mistaken He's got a podcast with He does Yeah, you're right

Yeah, keep going Yeah But yeah he's in the group And we're just We're playing Marshall Tucker band music And it's called Toy Factory which was the original name for Marshall Tucker band

before they named it Marshall Tucker Band So, okay, so it's Kansas Tea by Marshall Tucker Band And then And then what was the other band we named? We named the Black Crows Black Crows I mean Remedies, one of the greatest songs all the time Sometimes Salvation would probably be my favorite

Black Crow song She talks to Angels was the one that you've got them that was the one that was like their entry into the universe i remember when that came out i mean yeah they they blew up like remedy is probably the okay let's go remedy and then what were the other bands we named two other bands one was blackberry smoke uh feel a good one coming on i'm gonna name that one just because my wife and i's friend courtney coble who's one of the most hilarious people ever she's a massive Blackberry Smoke fan and she met Charlie at our wedding

and she's like I feel a good one coming on and Charlie like didn't react at all and I just thought it was the funniest situation of all the time so I text her that all the time but that's a great song well they got so many good ones did you have a line in this album that said living life in the mirrors

or in the river mirrors yeah it hit me so hard today it overwhelmed me it overwhelmed me and i and i was like i wonder sometimes if you put song lyrics in and then we interpret them in such a deeper because i just thought i thought you can't really drive if you're looking at your mirrors yeah you don't know where you're going and i was like oh fuck and then i was like and cocaine yeah that's a crazy mirror to look into yeah it is it's a pretty jarring it's a different guy it's a different guy the lean down is like, is who you are.

That is who you are. Yeah. You've never had a more down to earth moment with yourself than staring at yourself in that mirror about to do Coke. It's pretty honest. But the come up is like a brand. It's like who you want to be. You're like, oh, this is the fucking man.

I could rip a tree out of the ground, but I'm not going to because I'm smart enough to know that everyone will know I want to go I do. Yeah. It's, yeah. And then what was the last? We had Leonard Skinner and Marshall Tugger Band, black crows

and then we named one more Alman Brothers Alam Brothers yeah Alma Brothers man I'd say Rambling man

it's probably that was their first number one Dickie Betts wrote it and it was it was like their first number one hit after

Dwayne passed and Dickie really had to step into that leadership role in the group because Dwayne was the leader

of the group and he passed away on a motorcycle accident in 71 and um yeah rambling man uh if i'm not mistaken i think they might have cut that at criteria in miami but brothers and sisters they cut at uh capricorn it's unimportant to the story but you really are a little bit about melissa yeah was it Melissa's like there's this chick Melissa in high college had huge tits yeah and i learned that song

And I was like, I'm going to fucking, in my head, I was like, she's never heard this song. Yeah. I'm going to play this song. She's going to think I wrote it about her. Yeah. And I'm going to get both of those tits tonight. Nice. And she came into my, into my room at ATO.

And I was like, here's the time. A lit a cigarette, put it on my string. So it was wiggling, you know. It's really artsy. And I started playing Melissa. And she goes, oh, the fucking almond brothers and got up and left to it. Oh, no. damn

I hooked up with her sister as you do yeah yeah I used to see a girl named Melissa and I did the same thing for real yeah

yes sir will you write a song called Leanne and then I'll give you the lyrics yeah and it's like it's called O Leanne

but it's not oh Leanne it's oh Leanne right now as a comic one of the things I'm working on is getting all her laughs

So she's got like three different laughs or four different. I'm getting down to five. But so like all I'm doing is trying to make her laugh so I can learn all her laughs. And then do them to my daughters. Because my daughters, I did one to my daughters that. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. And my daughters are like, is that mom's laugh? And I was like, yeah, it's mom's laugh.

And they're like, shut up, do another one. And I was like, I'm working on them. It's so weird. My job is so different than yours, but it's also this playful world. Yeah, you've got to be Yeah, receptive. Yeah. Yeah.

What do you think people will say about us when we're gone? You first. Do you want me to eulogize you or you want me to eulogize me? I think you'd be good at eulogizing yourself. I should do my own eulogy. You should pre-tape it. Oh, that's great idea. I'll do it right now.

Okay. All right here we go. please play this at my funeral I would like to thank everyone who came and curse everyone who didn't Bert Kreischer myself was a great man

he was better than you think but this is not going to go well I'm already like dude I'm fucking angry that people didn't show up at my wedding or my funeral I want to know who I outlived look to your left look to your right is Tom there

God damn it No, I think all you need to know about Burt Kreischer is he tried so hard to make you happy. That's all you need to know. His only goal in life was to make you happy. And he's going to miss this life so much. God, man, I'm going to miss life so much. Yeah.

I'm so bum that I don't think I die because it hadn't happened yet, you know. but like I kind of think like fuck I'm gonna miss it so much I kind of wish I like I don't mean I don't wish I told Tom this one time but I was like if I had a button

that could end the whole world I'd press it as I died and be like no one gets a liftink and he goes I can't believe you just said that out loud I said you wouldn't do that and he goes no I wouldn't do that I want my kids to fucking have kids

I was like I want mine to die with me I want everyone to die with me I don't want anyone to get to live If I don't get to live If I get to live If I get to live everyone's going to die Oh what Oh man

What would you say about Marcus King I mean honestly You said it I love that I love that sentiment You know I was You know

It resonates with me Because all I really want to do Is make you happy All you I'm telling you When I I'll tell you I'll tell you

About you As a fan of you for all three of your seven albums. How don't I get so late to the game? The first one I got was 2020, and then 2022, and then the one that had Delilah on it. It is, I mean, to be fair, it is kind of confusing because I put out three solo albums

because I thought it would make sense because my band wasn't on them, you know? Yeah. And. I got, yeah. So, like, Youngblood. I got El Dorado. El Dorado was the first solo album.

I got a Grammy nomination for that one. And then Youngblood was the next one. And, like, Youngblood, I was so fucked up making that record. Like, I'm so surprised that it even got made. But there's a beauty to it, though, because I kind of just leaned into what I was comfortable with. And then Moot Twings was the next. Yeah, I got El Dorado, Youngblood, Mood Swings, and Darling Blue. That's the ones I have.

We've got to update that album artwork on there on Google. But I'll tell you, your music, for anyone who doesn't know, and I guess this could be played at your funeral, you have lived your life out loud, opened up, and you shared all your scars and your pain and your joys and your quills and your quills. questions and your loves and your fears through music with possibly the biggest gift we've gotten in the music world, which is you as an artist, and you've done them selflessly for people to hopefully people sharing them. And from someone who struggles with almost every one of your vices and one of any of your insecurities, I thank you because your music, I can listen to it on a plane and throw on some sunglasses and cry and feel it and uh and your voice is just like so so so warming it's like it's like it's like it's like your voice is like when it's a cloudy

day at the beach but there's one hole in the cloud and then sun shoots down on the ocean and you watch that sun creep to you as the clouds move and that hole stays there that's your voice your voices are like a ray of sunshine thanks man i love you to death man love you brother bert and tom tom and bert one goes top of swall the other wears a shirt tom tells stories and bert's the machine there's not a chance in hell that they'll keep clean here's what we call to bears one cave