2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - The End Of Humanity | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Episode Date: January 12, 2026

SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/BEARS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. - Sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/bears The OG Bears are back on this absolutely unhinged episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura dive headfirst into VR porn disasters, accidental virtual orgies, and the terrifying realization that Oculus might actually be ending humanity. Bert recounts a weekend alone that spirals into nine virtual orgies, soul-stealing eye contact, and panic-induced controller fumbling in a pitch-black room. The Bears also unpack loneliness, online hate comments, incel psychology, and how social media gives angry dudes a place to scream just to feel noticed. From there, things somehow get deeper: wealth guilt, excess consumption, purging hundreds of shoes and jackets, Mounjaro weight loss, beating Jelly Roll in the next 2 Bears 5K, parenting chaos, friendship evolution, Jake Paul as a “god,” and why success is always part luck. Enjoy the Bears while they're here. https://www.instagram.com/stavvybaby2 https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 323 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. New York: call 8778- HOPENY or text HOPENY. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777 or visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Wager tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus in most states. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://DKNG.co/audio Limited time offer. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:14 - Bert's First Threesome 00:05:58 - Mean Comments 00:13:05 - Hanging With The Kids During Christmas 00:30:02 - Stroke Of Luck 00:34:11 - Excess & Purging Stuff 00:44:05 - Weight Loss, Mounjaro & Jelly Roll 00:55:15 - Jake Paul Is A God? 01:01:01 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

100% New episode of Two Bears 1K Tommy I have my first three son One cave One K, what did I say? One K. God damn it

Three Ks I had my first threesome Nice Yes Where was it? In my bedroom What's his What are their names?

I didn't get their names Oh good There's on Oculus Oh fuck yeah Yes Let me tell you Oh Well I mean

Yeah It's hard to go back to one person I know dude I didn't do enough of a deep dive. My son got a VR headset and I was like, let me show you the best site. He's awesome. Dude, this takes a part of your soul. It's crazy.

It's this shit too, right? When you're like, dude, I was in a fissom. So, Leanne went out of town. And I've never been able to use the oculus. I'm afraid someone's going to walk into me like a blind person jacking off just in their room. And someone's like, he gets done and everyone just claps. And so Leancos out of town for two days. So I run over the bus.

I grabbed the Oculus. I race home. I'm like charging them in the car. Yeah. Fucking throw them on. Yeah. One girl, just me and this chick. Yeah.

And I was quick. I was, it was good. And then I was like, I'm going to probably fuck her again tonight. Yeah. Yeah. And so I get later that night, I'm like in bed and I'm like, mine as well. No, no, no. I started watching, I think it was Saturday, and there was some football going on our Sunday.

And it's rain and it's beautiful. And then I go, I should explore these Oculus. So I go and get this thing. It's called Brink, and you can travel the world. And I'm like, oh, cool. But then I'm sitting at the Corona Arch in the Mojave Desert. I'm going, I should have someone suck in my dick while I'm here. Yeah, for sure.

Like, what am I, why isn't someone sucking my dick? Yeah. If it's there, I want my dick sucked. Do you do the dual screen where, like, you see the desert and then the blowjobs over here? Tommy? Yeah. I was, I was, this is how bad. I got. I got the screen where you can see reality. I can see the screen. I'm watching football.

And there's a chick fucking another chick on the corner of my house on the dog bed. And I'm just sitting here going, this is, I know that this is the end of humanity. It is the end of humanity. We're definitely about to just, it's all about to end. I'm, and so then, and then the fucking, the devil's tongue was, I get my first, it was a two-sum. Two-sum is you and another person. No, threesome, three-sum, okay. Oh, I, I got to seven people. Wow. I was a DJ.

It was an Airbnb and they didn't want to lose their deposit. And they were like, we have an extra day. You should hang out with us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's a good story. Dude, it got, those girls should be getting stock in the company because they're giving away a part of their soul forever. Yeah. They are different than porn stars.

They're losing their humanity. This is really going to help them. This no, I'm being serious. If you are a VR girl, I have some tips. There's one girl. Yeah. She gets on top of me. She's got her two friends are working my nipples.

That's nice. Right? She's on top of me. A friend's making out with her. Another girl's playing with her tits. And she got red hair. And she looks at me and she goes, look me in the eyes when you fuck me. And I look up and I'm staring in her eyes, Tom.

And I'm, and I said out loud, is this real? Yeah. So I had like, I had like fucking about nine or you. I was texting you the whole time. I just got done an orgy. Yeah. This is crazy. I mean, by the last day, Leanne's got a flight home, and I know I'm not going to race to get one more orgy.

You got to get one more in. Dude, I'm in my room, murdered out, blacked out curtains. And they're whispering in your ear. This last one I get. Yeah. It's a five-sum. Oh, no, it's a three, four-sum. I'm a mental patient who's lost his memory, and they're trying to jog my memory back.

Oh, that always helps when you get your dick suck. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I, the last, the last, I haven't done it in over a year and a half, I had it in the VR headset in my office. And the last time I did it, I came as I walked into my desk. And it hurts so bad that it traumatized me. I haven't used it again.

This one girl, this one girl said to me, she goes, I'm fucking this one chick and there's other chicks whisper in my ear. And then I hear this girl go, look at me. And I look at me, she goes, look at me, a little pervert. And I was like, oh, and I came right away. I was like, God, I'm a pervert. Oh, God. Nice.

And then, and then Leanne came home. You're like, you're great to see you. Yes, so good to see you. Can't wait to go back to you. Hey, let's do it in the dark. I was just going to put my sleep apnea mask on. And I had to tell her. I had to tell her.

I go, just so you know, I've been like nine orgies this weekend. Yeah. She was like, what? I go, Oculus goggles. She goes, why would you? you even do that? And I was like, no, I don't know. It's the best. They do this one. They do this one move. This is just for us Oculus Insiders, where they make you eat their, I don't know, pussy. I don't know how to say it. I know, but there's, everyone says unalived now, so I don't

know what they're saying. Oh. Yeah. They make you do it. They get it right here where you're almost going like this. Oh, and it's right in your fucking. And it's like 8K. You can do it. Like, you gotta see a dermatologist. This is not. I was like, where's Leanne's labia been? And then I did research. Do you know that women in menopause lose their labia? What?

Really? I fucking found that out. How do they lose it? And it falls off, I guess. Just kind of drops off. They put it under a pillow and then they get a wish. That's pretty cool. No, but these young girls have crazy fucking labias.

And I'm just like, well, that's a lot of labia, man. I'm 53. I need something a little more discreet. It was, but I kept thinking, so this is my first. thought. You know, I've never understood, and I don't mean this to attack anyone or anything, but I've never, never understood guys who leave shitty comments on, like, women's accounts. Yeah. Like, you're a whore. Hope your dad's proud. Fucking whore. We're a bra next time you skateboard.

And you're like, what? What's going on? I never understood that guy. And then he's got a family. Yeah. And then his bio is like Christ. Christ first believer. Yeah. I love the girls that I love when women post the guy, the picture. sure the guy and his hateful comment. Yeah. I never understood those guys. I never leave negative comments.

I do leave comments, but they're always funny. I know I left one on Anthony Jesselniks the other day, and I know I'm, I didn't even look at it because I know I'm going to get trashed. Anthony Jesselnik. It's like all the smart comics are doing book clubs. That's like the big thing these days. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. But there's a bunch doing it? Two. Oh. John Mullaney and Anthony Jesselick. Yeah. And so they do it. Malaney, there's like 600 pages.

books and you're like oh okay yeah he can really read yeah yeah imagine how much he could read on coke i bet he flew through those books i bet those are all coke books just rah oh what's that a lydia i just learned about australia yeah and so jesselinick's book is called the getaway and he's like jesslemick's new thing is like in my book club i'm only doing a crew i'm doing a in my book club i'm only doing books with great fucking endings so you gotta it's gonna be a great ending and the best ending i know the get away and i go to the comments and it's like every smart fucking nerdy comic like patten oswald this was one of the best books i reread this three times over the summer and the ending is crazy and then it's another smart comic uh this is the best ending i've ever

scene i can't i can't wait to hear people's thing and so i just wrote a comment hey can someone tell me how this book ends yeah and i'm no i'm getting just by kit people that don't dude that's the whole point of the book book of course by the way i did buy the book uh are you reading it no no no no i got uh i got uh what was it uh rug rats uh you're reading diary vi vi vi vi I bought Tyra River Wimpy Kids the getaway on accident. And it showed up and I was like, this is not the one I ordered. And I fucking posted it to, I sent it to Jasselnik. I wasn't going to post it.

I sent it to Jek. Jettlenick's reply was, I'm amazed that you use Instagram to communicate with people. I'm laughing hysterically. You're communicating with me through Instagram versus like a text. I don't know, yeah, I don't have his number. So I just, I just DM them. I have video.

I don't know. Spades the same way. Spade does. That's how Spade communicates. Spade leaves only sends voice notes. Yeah, voice notes. He only sends voice notes. So I got this, I got Chessna Luxpo, I'm going to read it. I always like those guys that are smart and read.

But here's a point. Here's a point. Here's a point. I never leave comments, Tommy. I never leave comments. Okay. Negative comments. I just don't do it.

There's things I don't like. But you don't comment. I would never comment. I just, like, I'm not a big fan of the WMBA, but I'm not in their fucking comment section. Like, this is what is fucking wrong with America? Yeah, yeah. one week alone with Oculus and I thought I'm going to light some bitches up online.

Light them up? It's it's loneliness. It's loneliness not being attached to a real world. Yeah. And you know what else it is, dude? It's that you have a place to put it now. See, like before all this shit existed, you didn't have the outlet. Like, this is the outlet.

The outlet is you can go to someone's page and be like, fuck you. Yeah. That didn't exist before. You had to write a letter and put a stamp on it. Like, that's not a thing anymore. So it's a place to go. If you're a dude and probably not in great shape, right, dandruff, black shirt, shows up everywhere. Not thriving.

Not thriving. You know, I really kind of, one weekend alone, I was by myself the whole weekend. No one even called me, Tom. You're the only person I texted. No one called me. I didn't get any texts. On Sunday night, Leanne had Sandy and Tom, or friends. reach out going, hey, you haven't talked to anyone all weekend.

Would you like to come over for dinner? And I was like, I got Oculus here. I got fucking seven bitches waiting in my room. Yeah. The fuck am I going to hang out with you guys for me. You got a little taste of it. But I got a taste of what it's like to be. I guess what they'd say is like an, I don't want to say in-sell, but, you know, like a lonely dude.

It's loneliness. A lonely dude who's just like living in online and having that be your expression. And not, especially if you don't drink and maybe you smoke weed. There's no reason to go out. Yeah. And I really, like, I don't mean this like, I'm not trying to be like deep. But I really, at the end of that week, I understood those dudes who leave negative comments. Because I was like, yeah, I get it.

I get it. You didn't have something. You're not going to get noticed if you say something nice. You're right. You're right. You're not going to get noticed if you're like, dude, your special was great. Or Bert, your new series is awesome. But if you're like, Bert, that was the best.

I don't read comments, but I got. the little girl that plays Ila in my show her mom texted me she goes i hope you're okay with this but li lu's lighting people up in your comments and i was like what and she's screen grab and it was you know it's the trailer to free bert uh-huh yeah yeah and some dudes like this dude fell off yeah yeah and then liu who's fucking 10 wrote off your mom she's just lighting these dudes up and then these dudes are coming after her not knowing she's 10. And you're like, I go, hey, just do, I don't care, but I don't want her.

I don't want her to, this isn't. It's not good. She doesn't stand up for me. Yeah, that's really, it's really adorable, though. But I understand that guy that goes, he gets more attention. And now he's in a fight. And now he's got a communication. And now he's got something to do that day.

I'm not defending the guys who leave negative comments, but I'm understanding it after that weekend alone is like, you're sitting there with, with little to nothing to do. And you throw a hateful. thing out and then someone's like, fuck you, and now you're talking. Yeah, you got it to work. No one in the world wanted to talk to you. Yeah. And now someone wants to talk to you and it's a fight. And it reinforces that like if I say the hateful thing, that's how I get someone to talk to me. And if you reply or I reply, yeah. That's, I mean, that's a fucking home run. That's like, shut up. I got no fucking celebrity's head. Yeah, yeah. And the reason I don't read comments is,

is one day, one guy got in my head. And, and I, and I, and, and I, and, and, and, you know, and, and, And this guy who I don't know kind of fucked my day up. And I was like, why would I let that happen? Why would I ever allow my day to get fucked up? But then I understood. That guy's not, he doesn't hate me. He's not, he just needs someone to talk to. Yeah, he's lonely, dude.

Yeah. It was really, I'll tell you what, Oculus changed my life. Now, they're so greasy. Graph King's Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL makes every playoff moment feel bigger. The NFL playoffs are finally here. The NFL playoffs are finally here and things are heating up. Whether you're riding with your team every week or basing who you root for off of vibes,

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I think I'm done with Oculus. So that was it. Well, I've had sex with Leanne. Yeah. And when she got home. Was it better? It feels better. Oh, yeah, yeah.

It definitely feels better. To be with a human? Yeah, but she doesn't talk. Like, I want her to watch a couple of them and just be like, do some of this. And say stuff like, look me in the eyes, you pervert. Yeah. It's pretty cool. We got to get them away for your boys.

You can't your boys should not. No, no, they, they, they, they, they're boys should not have them. No, they're not. They're just, they're, they're just lobbying for more violent games. They're like, listen. Okay. I know we're kids, but these are games. Like, why can't we just do GTA 5?

And I'm like, just no. And they're like, you can't, you know why? There's this room. I went to, I went to this room. I was on Oculus the whole fucking weekend. Yeah. I went to this room. I was like, what's this?

And it's like a spaceship and you're in space. And you're like this. And I see this dude run across this, like going jogging. And I go, who the fuck is this guy? And then all of a sudden this guy comes up and goes, hi, what's your name? And I look over and it's a dude right in my ear. I went what? And then it goes, enable microphone. And I was like, no, no. I was like you could get these fucking rooms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got to get them away for your boys. Your boys. We, so just for everyone. They're doing, they have a, they don't have like the Oculus. They have the PlayStation one for the games. Yeah, yeah. But they're just like, I just want to go shoot stuff. And I'm like, yeah, I know, dude. Relax.

We, we, uh, it's funny. I've been talking a lot about, uh, our friendship to like people, like, uh, because our friendship's really interesting. Like we are business partners. Yeah. And we are friends. When you get money, your friendship, you did, you turn into different wealthy people in a weird way. But your friendship's still there.

Yeah. But just things like I was telling someone. yesterday like the first time I made good money you're like you should treat yourself that's what you do when you get good money treat yourself and you sent me a picture of this Gucci bag and I was like nice so I went to Gucci in Vegas I didn't know and bought this $3,000 bag and I sent a picture of it to you and you go oh how did Leanne like it and I go huh? And you go I got that for Christina and I went I bought it for myself and you're like I have a woman's bag and I went oh fuck but those but that's the interesting thing is like and and so but we got like

this is going to sound weird, but forget sometimes, only because we work so much together, how good of friends we are. And I realized that Christmas Eve. Yeah. Oh, because we got to hang out. Yeah. Dude. We were in D.C. We should set the stage. We were in D.C. because we were both doing press with Netflix for my special came out. It's called T-shirts. Congratulations. Thank you. It's fucking awesome. And then your series is coming out. Free Bird comes out. January 22nd, only on Netflix. only on Netflix. So because Netflix had the broadcast, which was commanders, cowboys, and they're, you know, they did, I think they had 40 promos on this broadcast because they knew so many people would be watching of all their stuff. We were there. We were both there. I was there with Christina and the boys. And then you were there alone.

I was there with Kyle. Oh, with Kyle. And then you're like, hey, let's, you know, let's, you know, this is this is when I talk about with the friendship is that I go, I hit you up old school, like the regular Tom and Burt. I was like, yo, Christmas Eve, can I hang out with you in your family? And you're like, of course. And then as I got closer, I was like, you know, I'm a lot. And I, you know, and I am. And sometimes you just want to hang out with your family in the room and not go do something or go to dinner. And maybe like everyone wants to sit in the pajamas and watch a movie.

What am I sitting doing the just drinking vodka in the corner? And so I hit you up the next day. I was like, hey, just to you know, don't, you don't have to invite me to Christmas Eve. I can do my own thing. And then you're like, I definitely want you a question. Christmas Eve. Yeah. So we pull up to the hotel and I see your boys, you'll get out of the car.

And Push is talking to the driver or someone in the back. And I go up to your boys. I go, stay please. I need CIDs right now. And they go, fat sticks. They're like, we knew you were coming. We knew you were coming. I go, I got fucking awesome presents for you guys.

And they're like, when do we get them? I go, you get them tonight. And they're like, oh, what are you doing right now? Do you want to come to our room? And I was like, I don't know. And then push on me. like, hey, and it was so fun. It's like old school.

It was old school. It was so fucking. We hung out, you and I hung out with the kids and everything, Christmas Eve dinner, and they were just themselves. Do you want to see me to choke my brother out? Yeah, yeah. I bet I can tap you out. Your oldest has so much energy. It's wild.

And your youngest is a one of one. I know. That fucking child is. Every day now, he's like, can I wear my suit today? And I'm like, I mean, we're going downstairs to the lobby of the hotel. He's like, is that a no? You can wear your suit. And then he wears a suit.

And then people go, you're dressed up. He goes, I love fashion. And they're like, how old are you? He's like, I'm seven. He's like, and they're like, and you love fashion? He's like, yeah, so did David Bowie? And then he just tells them like. That's what he said to me.

He goes, I swear to God. He goes, do you like David Bowie? And I see Christina go, okay. I go, yeah, I love David Bowie. He goes, did you know David Bowie's been dead nine years now? And I was like, I didn't know that. He goes, he died of liver cancer. And I was like, okay.

And he was like, do you know, I know every David Bowie song? And I said, you do? And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, quiz me. And I was like, what? Yeah. He loves David Bowie. And then randomly, I get home. And my favorite podcast is an hour documentary on David fucking Bowie.

I started playing it for him. Oh, my God. He was like lit up just totally. It's so funny. they're very different boys but perfect brothers yeah they're great and they do they fight you know oh yeah fucking fight like i have to physically separate and then two seconds later they're just like hanging out laughing and yeah Ellis gets on a subject he goes he goes uh do you think I tap you out I was like what and you're like Ellis takes jiu jitsu he goes I'm really good do you think I

I tap you out and I said my daughter takes jiu jitsu and immediately his shift focus and he goes what bell does she yeah I go I don't know she used to take lesson. He goes, what belt is she? Can you find out what belt she is? Do you think I could fight your daughter? Do you think I could take your daughter down? I bet I could tap her out. I'm really good. I'm quick, too. I fight the bigger kids. And you guys are like, you guys are like, he does fight with the bigger kids. And then, and then Julian's like, I didn't like jiu-chitsu. Yeah, I know. We were on the, we were on vacation and like other people would be like, you know, people see kids and they're like, how you doing? Like, where are you from? He would introduce

himself as a champion cross-country runner. Oh, yeah. And the jiu-jitsu guy. And I was like, like, and they were like, oh, okay. He's like, yeah, fucking, I'm really fast. They're like, that's nice to meet you. I leaned into the boys and I said, hey, do you think it would be cool if I went on your vacation? I don't tell your parents. I just show up and like almost like a spy.

I show up and prank them the whole time. And Ellis, it's like, he goes, is this, can this be real? And I went, yeah, it can be real. I'll show up and they won't know. And you guys will help me and we'll prank them the whole time. And Alice was like, oh, oh, oh, this is going to be great. This is going to be great. At the end of the night, he goes, are you coming on a vacation?

I go, I don't know. I'll check. And he goes, no, you need to let me know. And I was like, okay. Dude, Christmas Day, we went to the game, which was so fun. I didn't, I didn't see any of it. I showed up, did my part, and got on a plane left. It was so fun.

And they were, they were, you know, my big disappointment in life so far has been that they don't like football. Yeah. And I was like, it's the only reason I had you. guys. I tell them all the time. I'm like, that was the only reason you were born was to watch football together. And every time I've been watching football over the years, they're like, they'll walk in the room, they'll be like, ah, shit. We watch something else. And I'm like, you're out of the will. You're not even part of this family. Right. Like just, anyway, as the years have gone by, a little more interest. And then when I was like, we're going to a game,

I could see that they were excited. I was like, oh, this might be like the thing. So we get there. and they're like, you know, they're looking at the stadium and Netflix put us in a suite that they had and they were like, this is fucking awesome. Who else was in the suite? I don't think anybody... Like Seth Rawlins? No, no, no.

It wasn't anybody like that. It was mostly people you wouldn't know, really. But it wasn't like packed in there either, but they were like taking it in and they were like, they had so much interest. I was like, oh, this is great. I started to like, it's like what you dream about. explaining the game what's happening because they had zero interest before.

And so I'm like laying it out and then they're like, so like, I'm like, it's, it's Dallas versus Washington. And they're like, who do we cheer for? And I'm like, well, I don't know. I go, I mean, we live in Austin. So Dallas is pretty close. And they're like, we're definitely Dallas. And I was like, all right, cool. And they're like, come on.

Come on Texas. And I was like, no, it doesn't. That's not. It doesn't work like that. Come on. And they're like, what? I go, is Dallas. You got to be specific.

It's Dallas. And they're like, oh, okay. And they would scream out the open window. They're like, Cowboys, yeah. Washington sucks. And everybody in the suite was Redskins or Commanders fans. And they would be like turn their heads to these two little psychos. Julian in his suit, of course, and like screaming about it.

And they got really into it. So the main thing is I, you know, the season's ending. But I'm like, I got to get these guys to games more. That's what I learned. It's like, you got to get them to a game. But anyway, at the end of the day, it was Christmas Day, we go back to the hotel. And we're sitting there and it's like finally winding down. The energy of the day is winding down.

And then Ellis sits there and I see him kind of like head down. I go, what's up? He goes, I miss Bert. I go, really? He goes, yeah, he's my fat uncle. Aw. I go, well, we can see him again. He goes, today.

I go, no, he left. He goes, oh, all right. I wish I wanted so bad to go sit. the suite with you guys. I knew I knew they were asking they're like is bird coming is he coming up I was like I don't know I think he's got to catch a flight every like 20 minutes they'd be like is burke coming up now I was like well he's working right now that would have been so fucking good I told them oh I told them I said we got to do a family trip I'll take my girls and you guys come with you guys and they're like what we're doing I go safari and they're like what yeah

I was like let's go to Africa and then I told my girls and my girls are like well we have to babysit them and I said absolutely not and they're like we're in this episode is sponsored by better help. The new year doesn't require a new you, maybe just a little less burden. You. Therapy can help more easily identify what holds you back by offering an unbiased perspective to you for better understanding your relationships, motivations, and emotions. You know, if you haven't done therapy, that makes no sense to you. It really does. You go, they're my relationships. They're my emotions. What am I talking about? When you're in therapy and you have another person going, you know, I'm noticing a pattern. You don't notice your own pattern.

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I want to ask you a question, okay? And this is based off of need. I was talking to Shannon Sharp the other day. Shee-she? She-she. They come to She-She-She to promote the new show. Amazing. Yeah, I think I'm going to get a lot of shit for it.

Really? You ever do a podcast? In the second, you get in the car, you're like, I definitely shouldn't have said that. Let me get a phone call from Kevin Hart. Oh, Jesus. I know. So he just looks at me. Shannon Sharp goes, you said,

Kevin Hart needs to talk about all the luck. life. Cat Williams packed a gun in a suitcase. That's the only reason I got with that movie. And I was like, you know, I was like, who does your research?

Fucking the internet. God, that's this, a deep cut. I said that once to a fucking girl fucking 10 years ago. Yeah. And I was like,

yeah, I can't wait for this. These are going to be some viral clips. I, that was always the folklore. And then I broke it down. I said, you know,

every comedian needs, like that one stroke of luck. I go, got it. And for me, it's the machine story going viral. That one girl posts the clip that says this story's 100% true. I was in my class. He fucking robbed us. That helped me. That's the spark. And I go, Tommy, it was Tommy got on Netflix the same time Bill Burr was on Netflix. It's the only two comics. Bill Burr's huge. I don't know if I actually said this. I think I said Netflix. But you get on Netflix with Bill Burr and they go, did you like Bill Burr? Then you're going to

love Tom Segura. And all of a sudden, you're, I remember you saying, I don't need to do press. My, my stroke of luck, honestly, was really. really that Comedy Central said no. Yeah. That was my stroke of luck. That, like, they said no. And then Netflix was just in licensing stuff. They were like, we just want to license a bunch of shit.

It's like 2013. That was my, you're right. And they were like, yeah, these are specials. And they just were like, yeah, we'll take it. That was my luck. And I go, Bill Burr's luck is that Philly ramp. Oh, right. That goes viral.

And everyone's like, this guy's a fucking genius. I go, Jim Jeffries, got punched in the head of the comedy story. He happened to have a manager, Brett Vincent, who knew how to, it worked the internet. So he took the clip off the security cam, posted to MySpace, goes viral. I go, Rogan calls out Mencia. I go, listen. I mean, listen, this is, and this is my take. I'm allowed to have my opinion.

Yeah. But without that Mencia video and Rogan getting kicked out of the comedy store, losing his agent. Yeah. And all of that, the punishment he got from this team, maybe he doesn't reset and start his podcast. Right. Maybe he's not sitting there going, what are we going to do today? Yeah, yeah. You know, and then you get the...

That's an interesting take. It's an interesting take. But then the fucking irresponsible part of me is, one time I heard a drunk agent say the only reason Kevin Hart got fools gold is because Cat Williams packed a gun and his luggage to go to the trip. Yeah. And they said, they were shooting the movie. They're ready to shoot it.

And they're like, yo, we need someone who will sit, fit into a fucking medium. I don't know that that's a, offensive to because I think the thing is that like everybody gets a thing right yeah and like to Kevin's credit like what he's done is taking whatever opportunity he was given and knocked it out of the park right he's not there he's not here by accident no but but everyone has that one spark of luck yeah I see what really catapults I mean I think that's crazy to say okay good well that I mean someone's gonna act like it's real crazy to say a hundred percent of course and then all those guys on Oculus goggles

that are going to light me up. I just give you my number and you call me and we'll talk. Yeah. And then I said some stuff about Tracy Morgan. I just, it's a good interview. I think people are going to love it. But I said to Clubb, I said to Shannon Sharp, who's by the way so much bigger in person.

Yeah. He, I said, he's jacked. He's like 60 or something, dude. He's jacked. Yeah. And he's, and he drank I drank a half a bottle of Kabasse. Yeah. Which, by the end, I'm just drunk.

Yeah. And then I started interviewing him. And I asked him a question that's kind of fucked me up now. Okay. I said, what's the difference between when you had a million dollars, when you first signing, he was seventh round draft pick. Wasn't much. Didn't expect much. His first resigning bonus was for $450,000 with a $700,000 bonus, right?

So it was over a million dollars. Yeah. I said, what's the difference between now then and now when you have? have this money. And he thought about it and he goes back then I had to wait to buy a watch. And I said, yeah. And he goes, now I just buy watches. I said, which was better? And he goes, then. I said, so what are we doing? Like if it was better then, what are we doing? He was like, I don't know. I goes, I guess you want security to put your family, you know, take care of your family and stuff. And I thought about it. Now, I want to whittle it down so it's fun for everyone to do

this game if you're listening. And maybe we put it in the comments. I did it to Leanne today. and I'm curious to what your answers are are. We'll start with shoes. How many pair of shoes does a man need in his life? You're talking to the wrong guy. You're looking at the other wrong guy. I had a shoe addiction for a period, and I have a room full of shoes that I don't use,

and now I'm looking at them going, this is wasteful. Do you know that I've gone, I don't know what I told you, that what you're talking about is something that I've been feeling and dealing with. And it's not like a big thing, but it's like,

which was like the idea of excess and wastefulness. Yeah. So in the last few months, it really occurred to me what you're saying. And so I got rid of, this is grotesque. I got rid of 80 pairs of shoes. Right?

because I was looking at them and I was like, what is this? Yeah. Then I did it for cars. I was like, this is so stupid. I really did. I was like, what am I doing? The same thing you're saying.

Really? Yeah, I was like, why do I, I don't, it's like, I go, this, these are, they're just become, like I never wanted to be like a museum piece person. We're like, let's just look at this. Yeah. Like, you know, for anything. And then I also did it, I've done it for watches.

No, don't. do that. Yeah, yeah. Don't, okay, I said to Leanne, how many watches does a man need? That's how it started. I didn't want to say that because I know watches is a- And I did it for, and for- trigger warning on this podcast.

For just closed. I just felt like it's, um, it actually is more anxiety-inducing to have this overwhelming abundance of like stuff. Yeah. And then you go, what do I even really love or like? And I know it's like a boo-hoo comment. And people are like, people would be like, oh, I got too much stuff. It's true.

It's true. got too much stuff and it doesn't feel good it doesn't feel good to have too much stuff and so i've donated stuff i've gotten rid of stuff i've sold stuff so wait so wait okay so the first one i asked her is how many shoes is a man need and she said you need a pair of uh a pair of nice shoes you need a pair of running shoes and you need a pair of kick around shoes and a pair of flip flops she's that four four pairs of shoes that's a little low that's a little low that's a little low and I said just ballparking and I want to know what your answers are. I wish I could read comments. I'd love to know what people think. I said a total no more than nine pairs of shoes. Yeah. I mean, I think if you are your working person, you have a job, you like having shoes. Yeah. You got to probably got work boots. Yeah. Like let's say you have your work boots, your dress shoes, let's say a black and brown pair. Back and brown pair. Then you have your training. for the gym. Let's say if you're a runner, you like weightlifting, you have separate shoes for that.

And then for like your everyday life, you know, there's most people want some variety, right? So if you have like black ones and blue ones and great, like I do think capping it, you don't have to put a cap on it obviously, but to me it's like once you have 20 pairs of shoes. You're gone on your own. Yeah, you're like. And then what I really, the reason I was thinking about this was like I was like, I was walking. and looking at like what am I gonna wear today? And I realized that I was always pulling like the same like eight pairs of shoes. Yeah. And that the other ones were just decorations.

And the same thing for like driving. I was like, what am I doing? Like I have like, and it's fine. I understand there's people, there are car collectors and I know people personally who have 60 cars. And they're thrilled with it. And I've been to their garage and I'm like, this is insane. And I think it's awesome if it works for you. awesome if it works for you. I don't think it works for me.

Christian, how many pairs of shoes do you have? Let me guess. Three. How many? How many? Seven and eight? Yeah. In college? In college, I had two pairs of shoes. Yeah. I had running shoes and flip flops. I only wore flip flops everywhere. Yeah. I wore flips flops everywhere. Yeah. I wore yours, by the way, over vacation. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Those are great. They're great. They're great. I wish we were still in, we were still making them. Those are great. Yeah. He changed the design and the design. I liked the new design, so I stopped wearing them. I just wear all the old ones. I have nine pairs of old ones. I flip flops are bad.

Okay, how about shirts? How many shirts should a man have? I mean, I, just let's just do t-shirts. T-shirts? How many t-shirts should a man have? I think you want to have, you want, you probably want doubles at least of like. Too black. Yeah, too white. Too white. Yeah, yeah. And then if you have like, let's say, a variety of six or seven others. You kind of, like, that's what you end up wearing. How many t-shirts do you have?

Don't, don't. Ballpark it. Now or after, because I just did the purge. Before the purge. Before the purge? Before the purge. A few hundred. Oh, okay.

Yeah, a few hundred. I have my sister, Annie. She does, I don't. Jackets, bro. Oh, I remember you went through a jacket phase. It's not over. How many jackets do you have? Hundreds.

Are you serious? Yeah. But I also have been like, yeah, it's, it's, I realize, dude, that it is, it is like a form of self-soothing and like, it's an impulse thing. And like, the thing I had to like try to work on is, is to not act on the impulse to stop for a second and go, do I really want this? do I really need this? Will I use this? And sometimes when I just ask myself that for anything, just the act of asking myself that gets me to not do the impulse by

and then leave. And then I think the thing you do is you go, if this is something that sits with you and you keep going, like, oh, man, I really want these shoes or whatever. Yeah. Then you go, okay, it's been like in your head. But I've been acting off of impulse for too long. I've been acting off impulse.

I look at my shirts. I looked at my T-shirts today. I only wear the same shirt. I wear the same shirt every day. And I looked at my shirts. I realized my problem is nostalgia. I looked at my shirts this morning as I had this thought last night, this morning when I woke up.

Because, you know, Leanne and I have separate bedrooms now. Yeah. And so I'm in my bedroom. Feels good. Well, I brought only what I needed to my bedroom. Yeah. And so her closet is full of all the collector's stuff I have. Oh.

Like all the stuff I don't touch. I brought all my shit there. And then I left all my other shit in her room. And so then I was like, Jesus. Like I guess I only wear, you know, one pair of pants. I think that's really what it is, dude. Yeah. And I.

Yeah. What? It's just, it's, I, I'm like upset. Not upset, but I was like, I realized how silly I. I feel about the consumption, like about just obtaining, acquiring all this shit. And then I realized that it doesn't bring me joy. It's not fulfilling. It's causing me to feel like what the fuck?

I feel like a goddamn, like I'm on PCP. Like I'm fucking lunatic. And I'm like, this is, it doesn't feel good. So that's why I was just like, I got to get rid of shit. I almost enjoy when I stain a track suit. Because I go, what, we're getting rid of this? Yep. Like I spilled a meatball.

I dropped a meatball down my, I had a nice poloed. I went through a tracksuit phase. So I do remember this. I went through a track suit phase. And I got a poloed tractsuits in every color, gray, navy blue, black, and light blue. And when I flew to. You eyeballed me. I didn't tell you this.

You eyeballed me so hard. When I went to your room, Christmas Eve, I was in a track suit. And you sat there. We were talking. You remember we sat in your room? Yeah. You kept going. and I don't know if it was my track

and I didn't say anything to your track suit I was like this guy's like really eye pulling this so hard it was your track suit it was your track suit but I got on I dropped a meatball down my my sweats my track suit and I was like there's no way this is coming out I'm throwing this away

and I was like nice I got rid of a track suit great and then I brought it home and I put shout on it and you can still see the same it's like okay I'll work out in the pants yeah I have a hard time I have a shirt I have shirts from 2001 and you're going

By the way, how much are you down? You look good. Oh, we should do a man Girono journey. How much are you down? 30 pounds. 30 pounds. 30 pounds. Which means, and this is that you have to fucking do this, you need new clothes. You have to get rid of bigger clothes.

You have to get rid of it. I have all my pants. None of my pants fit. Like, I'm at the very beginning of my belts. The, I'll tell you, man, and I only say this not like, I, I follow a lot of fat people. I follow almost exclusively fat, fat people. Yeah. Like you know those fatty baddies that go, I'm a fatty baddy and this is what I eat in a day.

I start, I'll tell you right now, if you're a woman and you're in good shape, okay, and you're thinking to yourself, I'll never get fat. But when you wake up, you make a coffee and put four pumps of caramel and coffee creamer and whip cream and sprinkles on it, you're gonna be fat. That is the key. That is the every fatty-bady I watch. Yeah. I mean, the plus-sized park hoppers, they all get crazy coffee orders.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, your coffee should be coffee with a splash of cream. That's it. No fucking sugar. That, I'm telling you. I think it's just ladies, dude. There's a bunch of dudes. All I follow was ladies. Oh.

I follow the bad. You know, do you follow the hot? I remember I texted it. You follow your. So you follow a lot of bizarre shit. Dude, I follow these rappers from, like, Michigan. They're like five dudes, and they're always in the woods. And, like, one dude wears a Jason mask.

And it always starts with the guy jumping off the thing. And he's like, it's so good. It's good? But, yeah, but it's like, I don't know why. You know, there's this thing. There's this thing I recognize in people that I identify with. And it's the need to be. be seen. And mine's shallow. I like I get on stage to do it. I want to be seen. I want to be

heard. I do podcast because I want to be seen. My goal in this year is to be less seen. It is, is I think I think I, same thing with overabundance. I think I wanted to be seen so much that I got kind of annoying to people. It's like I was everywhere. And like people would go like, you're the TikTok guy. And I'm like, no. Like you're all over my TikTok. And I was like, I don't think I am. And they're like, yeah, you are. And so. You're the TikTok guy. But like, so that's what I identify with the people online who like, like these rappers where they're like, yeah, the guy always jumps off something in the woods and they're all intimidating.

And it, but they're honestly, they're not, this is the best it's going to get for them. I'm not getting signed by Dr. Dre. Right. They're not, their raps aren't awesome. But they're making me happy. Yeah. And so, but I understand that. Do you have, do you know who I'm talking about?

this is them. Yeah, that's them, that's them. Okay. Is that a real hand? Bitch you know who it is. Dude, this is them. Look at them. Oh, look at them.

He's reading his rap. He reads his rap. And look, there's a guy with the fuck in. Snap jaws with a hacksaw. Fast pause when I scrapboard. By the way, this is what people have been doing for generations. It's just that you can watch them now. This is five guys doing this every.

I would argue no. Like there's this girl. There's this girl I'm following. She's rowing across the Atlantic Ocean. Uh-huh. And I thought, I could do that. No, no, no, no, no.

I'm following her. And she's sharing her journey. Hey, guys, today's the first day that I'm going to jump in the water. I've been scared to do this, but I'm jumping in the water. And, you know, she jumps in the water. And she goes, hey, guys, it rained today.

There was a storm. And I needed it. So I really need to take a bath. And you know, and then I thought, just as a little thought experiment, I thought, what if, what if someone texted her and like, yo, Instagram no longer exists? Yeah. She'd be in the, she'd go, why the fuck am I doing this?

Maybe. How do I get the fuck back? Get me the fuck out of here. I don't want to be here. I'm only here so people see that I'm here. Yeah. And I literally thought that. Would she, is there anyone rowing across the fucking ocean that's not posting it?

Is there anyone getting a sailboat and not posting their adventures on YouTube? right. Is there any rapper that's just rapping by himself in his fucking closet? Probably, yeah. That one, yes. Yeah, probably. But I think for a lot of that holy shit, endurance, crazy thing, it's very few that are just doing

it for the love of it, for sure. Very few. And then... By the way, but we shouldn't forget to mention that the details are coming soon, but we are, the 5K is back for... Two Bears 5K. 2026. And jelly roll will be there. Yep. Which, by the way, now I'm like,

Like, remember how we used to be like, hold on, hold on. We got to take a knee out with this fucking guy. Yeah. What, dude, he weighs. If I hadn't started a manjaro, he'd be as skinnier than me. It's fucking crazy. Is that not crazy?

Yeah. 265. I was 270 when I started losing weight. And, dude, I can't, I can't let him beat me this year. That's fucking insane. Oh, he's going to beat you. No, he's not. If he, when he gets his skin removed, he's going to be 200 pounds.

He's not beating me, dude. Dude, he runs every fucking day. I'm running. I'm running. I run. He runs every fucking day. Does he really? Every day and he runs uphill.

He's addicted. He's a, because you know, like, Jell, you know, I love you, but Jellie does have a little bit of an addictive personality. A little?

Okay. With the food and the drugs. Yeah, no shit. He's just applied that in a positive way. That's a lot of people do that get sober. And he's, he's, he's still parties.

I know. He's fucking like. I ran four miles a day. over on the break. Yeah. And now I have to like up it because I cannot let him beat me. Oh, he beat me last year.

Did he beat you? Yeah. Well, I ran it. There was a second time I ran it. He's, I heard he's running R5K twice this year. He just did a 10K with fucking Cam Haines. Fuck.

All right. I got to step it up. Dude, he looks incredible. He does look incredible. He does look incredible. He's unrecognizable. Yeah. I love when I was with Bunny recently and she we were talking about Manjaro and oh yeah I should

say I should wrap up I want to I only want to say this for people that are like me because I follow a lot of fat people if you are having if you ever an issue with your weight and you want to lose weight I found Manjaro worked for me now it made me feel like I had the flu I still am you on it for four days for four days I feel like I have a flu like a low grade flu a very beginning I was throwing up violently at airports, but, and then the last three days, I feel normal. And then when I take it again, I get like a welt on my stomach. By the way, Jack Osborne was like, just put up ice pack on that, mate, goes away. Oh, nice. Oh, yeah, we were talking peptides. And, and, um, but it, it can jumpstart a healthy lifestyle. Because I was honest about it and not, not everyone, you know, a lot of

people, like, I've heard a lot of people that are like, oh, yeah, it's, I've just done hard work. like, okay. But because I was honest with it, people have come up to me and go, you know, I'm on a GLP1. I'm on a Terra Zeptide, but I'm on a GLP1. And dude, there are so many people that come up to me that are regular looking people and they're like, I lost 70 pounds. And you're like, what? Wow. And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, I was diabetic. I'm not diabetic anymore. That's amazing. And so if you're thinking about it, I don't know, I wish I could tell you, I don't know, I knew how much it costs, but I think insurance covers some of it. But you dropped 30 pounds. 30 pounds. my weight lifting is dropped as well um i'm not i'm definitely couldn't do three fucking 25 right now

but i'm still lifting weights uh right now i can't use my legs so i'm lifting what happened what what happened what what happened what what happened um i saw you limping so i i i don't know what happened i i meaning one day i woke up and my and my so i've had this achilles problem i posted a picture of it yesterday you pull up that paper i i don't know that paper i i i'm going to i i woke up and my my my i've had this achilles problem i posted a picture of it yesterday. You pull up that picture. It's pretty aggressive. I've had an Achilles problem since I was shooting free bert. And so I stopped running because of it because I was like, I don't want to rupture my Achilles. That would suck. And then one morning I woke up over Thanksgiving and I slept wrong and my hip was out and I couldn't use my leg. Like my, I pinched a nerve or something.

So we worked that out. And as I slowly got better and better, all of a sudden, like my calf would hurt. And then my foot, it would move. I thought it was a blood clot, for real. Like, and then the top of my right foot hurt. Then it was planar fasciitis. Then I had a masseuse come in and he fucked me up. And then ever since that day, it was inside calf, outside calf, outside here, over here, under here. I have no idea what it is, but you see this picture of my fucking Achilles from yesterday.

And I think it may be Achilles related. But, dude, I had to wrap my leg in a hot blanket. Do you think you should maybe get this checked out by someone or no? Okay. Just so we're clear. I'm marking it day by day, how much it's getting better. Okay. And every day, since it was really bad, it's getting 20% better every day.

So like today, the bottom of my foot hurts a lot less. But you don't know what caused this? I have zero idea. You were running? No, I got, well, the last time I used my leg good, I was drunk on stage with Snow the product. We were singing and I was dancing and I was jumping up and down. And so just go to my stories. It's B-E-R-T.

Look at this. Go back one. It's me and Michael Chandler. Look, can you see that Achilles? Yeah. Yeah. Looks aggressive. And your foot was hurting a lot? Yeah.

My planter fasci is hurting less. Right now it's my calf. God damn. But the more I use it throughout the day. and if I work out, it feels a lot better. Oh, that's good. So, I don't know. I'm going to give it through the weekend and if it still hurts,

I'm going to go Monday to a doctor. But, you know, but diatrias are like dentists. They're not real doctors. Right. So we have to not, we got to beat jelly. That's got to be the goal, right? Yeah. I mean, it's got to be like a war.

Yeah. It's like, I was rooting for him until he got skinnier than me. Exactly. Now it's like, hey man, chill the fuck out, bro. You know, you think, hang on, I want to do a thought. I want to do a, I did this drunk and I got, and Leanne almost got mad at me. Okay. Get ready to clip this out, everyone.

You're going to love this take. Jake Paul is, should go down in history as a god. Jake Paul, I went to the Jake Paul fight. Yeah. And I'm sitting, I'm sitting there. I was sitting with Matt Rife. By the way, probably the funnest guy to sit with. Yeah. Because you forget, you forget how quick comics catch each other.

You know, like you forget how our shorthand with each other happens so quickly. So I'm sitting there and I'm sitting in this arena. It's sold out. Michael Irvin's sitting right next to Matt Rife. He's the best. Ricky Fowler's down there. I mean, the place is packed with celebrities. I saw Cam. I saw Timberland. I mean, it's packed with celebrities. And I'm looking in there and I go, this is, and I mean this respectfully, this is just Jake Paul. I'm looking at Michael Irvin, who was given every gift by the Lord to be a physical specimen and uncompetable.

I mean, you cannot compete with Michael Irvin. To this day, he is still an amazing shape at 60 years old. Yeah. But he didn't make $90 million in a ring. That was incredible. And I'm looking at Joshua, Anthony, Joshua. Anthony. Same same.

Yeah. He doesn't have the ability. He does not have the ability to make $90 million. He had to get Jake to get him to make $90 million. Before this, he wasn't making $90 million. And they both made $90 million. And Jake Paul, and I apologize if this is crass, is not an athlete. He's not.

He is an athlete. Okay, but no, I'm saying, I'm saying when if, if coach, he is now an athlete. Right. But never in life. Did anyone pick it out like they did Michael Irving? Yeah, yeah. Like they did Michael Vick and go, this is what. He created something.

You're right. He created. Yeah. He created. That is willpower. Yeah. And that's what makes him a God is he created out of sheer willpower. If you are a guy thinking, what the fuck am I doing with my life?

Look at Jake Paul and take a page out of his book because that kid created something out of absolutely fucking nothing. And I look at Logan Paul, who, by the way, is an amazing professional wrestler. Yeah. And I look at Logan Paul. And I go, by the way, good looking kid, not the best looking kid in this room, but the fucking most famous person in this goddamn arena. Holy shit. They made something happen. These two kids are the American dream.

They are the American fucking dream. And I will always. There's going to be a great documentary about them for sure. I will take a need of them for the rest of my life because they are gods. the boys, the Gen Z boys that fucking rule the internet. My cousins, my cousins, I mean, in a chat thread right now, but they muted me because they don't want to hear from boomers. So I can't respond.

I can just read all their fucking texts, fucking assholes. And they are, they are the red pill insoles, my cousins. And they were making fun of Jake Paul. And I want to fucking talk to them and go, hey, listen, fuck faces. Jake and Logan Paul are better than any gene in our family. we fucking should take a knee you all need to fucking take a knee to these two men they did something really impressive

you do have to give incredible yes for I agree I agree dude like he made himself the kid can listen Jake can box he's not an elite boxer but he is he is a

he has skills look he's what he did do brilliantly was create the persona and and he understands something that all the old school promoters understand, which is like you have to create drama. You have to create villains. Like people are more excited to watch somebody that they hate lose than they are to watch

somebody that they love win. They want to see the loss. And he embraced that. And he got it. And then he was able to build this thing out out of nothing. Out of nothing. And it is commendable. Out of a joke. They fought fucking two YouTubers all fought. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's insane. I'm sitting in this arena going, he created this. That's the thing that blows me away. He created this. He created this. And I thought to myself, I don't think I've performed in that arena. I don't think so.

It's in Miami. I don't think I've ever done Miami. But like, I thought to myself... Was it the arena or the stadium? It was arena. So American Airlines Arena? I mean, no, that's Dallas. Am I? Whatever. But I thought to myself... Or the heat play. I don't mean this...

No slight on Jake, whatever. But I said, I do the same size venues as this. But I've... It took me 20 years to work, 25 years to work to get there to bust my ass at an art form of I'm pretty fucking high level at. And I think I knew at a very young age that I was really talented this. And that's what gave me folk. He just did it out of nothing.

It's pretty crazy, man. It's insane. I honestly, there will be a documentary. There will be, there should be a class taught about the Paul brothers in college, in college, freshman year. And I'm telling you, I really believe it. They are as important to our country as, Abraham Lincoln.

Oh my gosh. This is where I lost Leanne, too. This is where I lost Leanne too. John F. Kennedy. Leanne goes, you're talking about Jake Paul. And I was like, I know. But he's as important as fucking George Washington. Well, they will use this in the documentary.

So good, good for you on that. Don't forget watch Freebert, which comes out. January 22nd. Freebert, January 22nd. I hope you like it. My special teacher is streaming right now on Netflix. Please watch it. Two Bears 5K.

Coming your way. tell you when, but you know when we created it, 5K by May. There you go. All right. See you guys. Love you. Love you. Bert and Tom.

Tom and Bert. One goes top of the swall. The other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean. Here's what we call. Two bears one cave.