2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - The GREATEST Comedies of All-Time w/ Judd Apatow | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Episode Date: October 21, 2024

Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/BEARS and get on your way to being your best self. Visit https://forthepeople.com/bears or Pound LAW - Pound 529 - from your cell. Thanks to Equip Foods for sponsoring today’s video! Head to my link at https://equipfoods.com/bears and use our promo code BEARS to get 20% off your first order, or combine this offer with a subscription and get 35% off your first subscription. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears, all lowercase. Sponsored by Formula 1 Las Vegas It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Burnt Crystals being joined by guest bear, Judd Apatow! Judd is the producer of every great comedy from the 2000's and he's got some insider stories behind some of those hits to share. He reveals to Bert why he likes writing about dumb guys and stoners, shares a cute story about writing to Steve Martin in his early days, and Bert gives us an update on Tom and Garth. Judd and Bert also talk about Adam Sandler's clothing style, rich guy stuff, F1, being recognized in public, Steely Dan, 80's comedies, Mulaney, Garry Shandling, and why nobody runs to see comedies in movie theaters anymore. Check it out! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 259 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tickets are available now for my upcoming November shows. November 27th, I'm in Hollywood, Florida at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. And November 29th, I'm in Tallahassee, Florida at the Donald L. Tucker Civic Center. 100%. It sucks about like writing a new hour is, I'm assuming, totally different than writing a new movie. Where you just go like, you get an idea and you go, I'm inspired, totally different than writing a new movie. Where you just go, like, you get an idea and you go, I'm inspired, let's fill it out. Whereas, opposed to you get a new hour and you're like,

especially where I'm at, I'm dying to talk to you about this. But, especially when your life changes, and you're like, okay, now I gotta write comedy and I'm a new person. Like, that's, you know? Like, who's this, and is this a funnier version? Like I've been talking a lot about how I think at this age, your comedy, it gets really harder to do because all your jokes become about decay, you know?

Like my kid's been out of the house for a little while now, and so all fun stuff is about being young and trying to meet girls or getting married and having babies and as soon as your kids are fully out of the house, all your jokes become about, like, isn't diverticulitis funny? Everything is about injuries. I got diverticulosis, the first stage of diverticulitis. Fuckin' yeah, I had a joke about my colonoscopy.

No, your whole act is just about that. And so, and then you're like, is this just a shitty stage of life that no one wants to hear about? And then should you not talk about like, you know? Oh, I did a rant that was, I should do an intro. I got to do an intro because I feel like, I feel like people sleep on how much you gave us.

Okay. All right. This is gonna take some time. This is... This is what you're about to read is more like a mental breakdown. It is, can you name your movies? Yeah.

For real? Yeah. Can you think you can name them all? Yeah. Go ahead. No, I'm curious at how accurate you'd be. Like from the very beginning? No, no, well, I start with, I always feel like Cable Guy. Yeah, but there was one before Cable Guy.

Heavyweights. Heavyweights. Celtic Pride. Celtic Pride. 40 year old virgin. Fun with Dick and Jane. That's right. Knocked up. The Hills, what's that one?

I never saw that. That was just a short film. Okay. A's right. Knocked up. The Hills, what's that one? I never saw that. That was just a short film. Okay. A friend of mine. Walk Hard. Yeah. You Don't Mess With a Zohan. Pineapple Express.

Funny People. Hold on, these are just as a writer. There's a producer list. There's a producer list. There's a big set. There's a producer list. Pop Star Never stop stoppin'. Never stop, never stopping.

Never stop, never stopping. Train wreck. Anchorman. Anchorman 2. Get him to the Greek. I mean, year one, Pineapple Express, Step Brothers. Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Which one?

Superbad. Wait, like, do you ever feel like, and I'm just wondering. Stopping, just stopping? No, do you ever feel like, like when you see a negative comment online that you wanna write back, hey man, you meant to say thank you.

Well, I, you know, I'm always, you know, talking to, you know, my kids and friends about anybody can find the most vicious thing about them at any time of the day or night. Yeah. You know, Tom Hanks right now could go online and find the most vicious attacks. I mean, him maybe more than anybody

because I'll just chuck him into conspiracy theories and things like that. So, you know, the discipline it takes not to dip your toe in those waters because I love the idea of talking to everybody and mixing it up with everyone. But you know what, in the old days, I always think that people weren't supposed to like everything because we didn't share everything.

So if you like Metallica, you didn't pay attention to country music. But now because it's all in a big soup, people attack the thing that they normally wouldn't like anyway. It's funny, I never thought much about Fugazi. Yeah. Like I just, I had never thought much about them.

Like I knew they were a band and I knew that they were popular, some of my friends. And then last night I got into a Fugazi kick and I was like, I was like watching this epic Fugazi picture and all of a sudden I become informed about Fugazi and no effects and then all of a sudden I'm like, wait, maybe I should never have learned about this. But it's interesting because people get involved in stuff

maybe isn't for them. Yeah, but why wouldn't you want to get involved in it? I have a theory that if you are, almost like it should be state mandated that we take an IQ test and then we get a certain amount of information sent to us by the government that is within our IQ range. That we shouldn't get stuff that is out of our IQ range.

Because then you all of a sudden, you become this informed person when you really aren't. You're just regurgitating facts at a dinner party that you never learned. You just heard Andrew Huberman say them. And now you're saying, here's the benefits of cold plunging. You're brown fat. And you're like, did you learn that or did you read it?

Or are you reciting it? There's a difference between an original thought, I believe, like a truly original thought, and then someone who's reciting an original thought. And then discerning the difference is wild to me. And what's crazy also in that same breath, because of those movies you've made, you kind of birthed a bunch of us.

Isn't that wild? Well, I feel super birthed by the people that I was in love with. I love James Brooks, I love Cameron Crowe and Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Todd Salons and Nicole Holliff Center and Barry Levinson. And then before our movies did well,

Jim Carrey busted through with Ace Ventura and things like that and the mask. And I think all I thought was, is there a way to combine terms of endearment and Ace Ventura? Can you do both? Can you be emotional and get to hard comedy and have it not be bullshit

and have the switch in tone not be weird? Like you found a style where it could be really silly, really broad, but when it goes to feelings, it still feels like it's part of the same movie. But that's really fascinating. You've done that very well in that, in movies, in all of your movies. Some of them are just fucking, just like,

the Doobie Cox is just fucking. I mean, it's just like one of the fucking, there's a new thing that's now going around about him singing a Bob Dylan song, where it's just him, and it's so fucking hysterical, because, and I don't think I saw how funny it was at the time, but you really did cut that line of like, like Forgetting Sarah Marshall is one of the greatest movies.

It's one of the greatest movies. I would say that about so many movies you've worked on, or I mean, 40-year-old Virgin, Kevin Hart's scene when he starts, this is one of my favorite scenes I've ever seen in a movie. How much of that was Kevin Hart and how much of that was you guys? An enormous amount of it was Robin Malco

and Kevin Hart just going hard. I mean, I had met Kevin when he was like in his early, early 20s and we did a pilot together with Jason Segal and Amy Poehler and it didn't get picked up. But I just loved Kevin. I'm like, this is going to be the guy when he was just a kid. And then I couldn't break him because just the projects didn't get picked up.

And then he did a bunch of spots on Undeclared and was hilarious. And then we were doing the 40 Old Virgin and he came in to do this scene and it was supposed to be Rami Malekos emotionally falling apart, and instead of schmoozing a customer, he starts fighting a customer. And believe me, there's a lot of riffing there. There's a lot of language there that I certainly would not have pitched to the two gentlemen.

But we used to always do like the extended version of the movie, so we would put out a director's cut. And I didn't realize you weren't supposed to add that much. So when we did the extended cut of the 40, so we would put out a director's cut. And I didn't realize you weren't supposed to add that much. So when we did the extended cut of the 40-year-old version, I added 17 minutes. And so that scene, a lot of people know that scene as this long version of the scene, because I added like another minute and a half.

It's one of my favorite parts of the whole movie. But it's so interesting, you did happen, you did find a way to create, I think what they're doing now is more action comedy, whereas you did emotional comedy. Does that make sense? Exactly, now everyone wants things to be like a genre thing, like a superhero movie with comedy.

Barbie's a comedy, basically. So I keep telling everyone, the world really wants comedy. All these movies that make a billion dollars, they're basically comedies, but usually with another big genre element where I was always into, you don't need any genre element. You could just have Seth get someone pregnant. Like the smallest things in life is a whole movie.

Just, you know, Jason Segal, you know, wrote Forgetting Sarah Marshall just about what if you tried to escape your breakup by going on vacation and she was there and that's just the whole movie You know, I like the low concept and I think we're in a little bit of a high concept era now I think so there's so much shit. There's so many shows There's so many movies and so this idea that there can be a subtler concept It I think they think it's harder to bust through the noise that way. I don't necessarily agree with that, but to me just two people trying to get along is enough.

Yeah. It's, I have so much stuff I want to talk to you about because, and I have a list that Tom sent me of what he wanted to talk to you. It's all stuff that, Tom was supposed to be here and he got fucking deposed by, because of this whole Garth Brooks thing. Oh, he's somehow part of that. Well yeah, because he was an early adapter to like calling him out, and so now the courts think that.

They think he knows something. Yeah, he's been talking about it for four years. It's like, listen, if you predict 9-11, even if you have tin foil on top of your head, when 9-11 happens, they're gonna be like, yo, what did you know? If you were listening to that much Chris Gaines, you must know something.

That's the part you don't know is like, Tom was obsessed with Garth Brooks before this year. Yeah, no, I know. Before the whole fucking. And when you do a Chris Gaines thing, where the world is like, I don't know if you're joking, it seems like you're serious, it makes you just wonder what's happening in that mind.

All right, where do we start? So I wanna get back, I wanna start with early you. Okay. Because Leigh-Anne told me this story last night. You know Leigh-Anne's obsessed with you. Like you know Leigh-Anne's a huge fucking fan. She goes, did you know that he sent a letter to Steve Martin because Steve Martin was a dick

and Steve Martin wrote back. What did Steve Martin write back? Wait, what did you write to Steve Martin? Tell me the story. I'll tell the story. I always feel bad telling it because it is a perfect story. So I've told it so much and I always think it must annoy Steve Martin how often

I get asked about this story. But it is a weird perfect story, which is I was visiting my grandmother when I was like 13, and she lived in Beverly Hills. So I went from Long Island to Beverly Hills, and I knew where Steve Martin lived. I just knew his address, his house had been in a magazine. So anytime we went anywhere,

I said, we have to drive past Steve Martin's house, even if it was out of the way. Just anytime we left the house, let's drive past Steve Martin's house. Even if it was out of the way, just anytime we left the house, let's pass by Steve Martin's house. And I couldn't believe that he was in there. Cause it was like a cement house. It almost looked like a prison. And there were no windows or anything.

And like, he's in there. Like the jerk is in that building. And I just loved him so much. And then one day we drive by and he's out in the front yard. In my head, he has like a hose and maybe he's washing his car or something. And he's got a dog covering his dick and a robe on and a little lamp.

He's got a paddle. The remote. But so there he is. So I grab a piece of paper and I jump out of the car and I say, can I have your autograph? And quite reasonably he says, no, I don't sign autographs at my house because then everybody will come by my house.

And by the way, he's Beyonce at this point. Oh yeah. He's Taylor Swift now at that moment. And so he says, sorry, I can't sign autographs at my house. And I said, well, will you sign it in the street? Which is pretty good for 13, right? And he says, I'm so sorry, I can't sign autographs in my house. And I said, well, will you sign it in the street? Which is pretty good for 13, right? And he says, I'm so sorry, I can't. And then I started begging, like, I'm from New York.

I won't tell anyone where you live, please. And he goes, really, I'm so sorry. Nice to meet you. I'm so sorry. So I get back in the car and we drive home and I'm like 13 year old furious about it. And I take out like a legal pad and I write, dear Steve Martin, I am your biggest fan

and you wouldn't live in that house if I didn't buy all of your albums and got all your movies and bought all your books. So if you don't send me an apology, I'm gonna send your address to Homes of the Stars and you're gonna have tour buses passing by 24 hours a day. And then I put it in his mailbox, no stamp, stalkery. Just put it in the mailbox, placed it in there.

With the red lipstick on the back. Now, if somebody walked up to my house, I just call security people. As an adult, you're like, yeah, that's the last thing on earth you want. There's people knocking on your door, especially when you're at that level. And by the way, no gate, you know, now everyone's got a gate.

Do you still know where that house is? Yes, it's on Bedford in Beverly Hills. I don't know if it's there. It may have been. Torn down. Torn down. But yeah, no gate, no security. So I put it in his mailbox. I don't think anything of it.

And then like maybe like five months later, like a long time later, I get a package, I open it up, he had a book called Cruel Shoes, which was funny short stories. And in it he wrote, to Judd, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was speaking to the underlined three times Judd Apatow, your friend Steve Martin. And that was in 1980, 44 years ago. So what I always explain to people when I tell that story is, first of all, I thought I must've made him laugh with the letter.

Yeah. Because the letter was meant to be funny. Yeah. And he wouldn't have sent those books if I was just mean. Because I probably forgot half of what the letter said. Yeah. I've kind of reduced it to like three jokes. So the idea that I made him laugh enough

that he would send me the books to me was like, come into my world. Like you can touch this world. Cause you know, when you're a kid, you've never met anybody. Yeah. You don't think you have access. There's no way in to that place you dream of being in.

So I just thought I made Steve Martin laugh. And just unconsciously, maybe the dream is possible. When I started podcasting, an online store was absolutely the furthest thing from my mind. And today, today, I'm selling shirts, I'm selling hoodies, posters, and it's so easy all because we use Shopify. Shopify is the global commerce platform

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Visit BetterHelp.com slash Bears today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Bears. That's the, I would argue that's the hardest part of standup is realizing that the dream is possible. Yeah. Because it's, it really seems unattainable. Even, I was at a Holiday Inn in Tallahassee on Monroe,

and I saw a dude on stage, and I was like, how do you become that guy? Now, I look back and I go, that's a sad recipe that doesn't work all the time. Sometimes it's better not to be that guy. Well, it's a miracle. I think a lot about being young, it's a, you know, it's a miracle. I think a lot about being young, you know, it's very different now I mean, you know pre internet pre cell phones

Not much comedy out there when I decided to be a comedian there were maybe 50 comedy clubs in the whole country and It felt like there were maybe 200 comedians total like That's not so many I could I could become a part of that group. It didn't feel imposing. It also didn't feel like you had a shot at being a big star. It really was just, can I be a comedian?

And that was it. There was no dream beyond that. And then when I lived with Adam Sandler after college, now I look back and go, how weird that we thought that we might pull it off. That there's an insanity of youth of, I'm gonna go to this improv every night. I'm not accepted at the improv, but the manager, if someone doesn't show up,

will let me take their spot. And if there's still people there at the end of the night, he'll put me on at the end. And I did that for years. I just wait there. Never got paid for years before I got accepted. Because Joe Drew, the manager, liked me enough to let me go on stage if someone was late.

And you just have that weird belief, like, it's gonna happen. I just have to do stuff like this and be committed. It's funny, what plan do you like more? Now it seems like there are so many comedians. Or back when you were, and I think I would relate myself more to your generation because I didn't know you could make money doing stand up.

Like I knew you could do stand up, and I knew you could get famous, I knew those were like things, like Tim Allen, Roseanne. I didn't know the arithmetic of how that worked. I did know if you moved to New York. And sadly, I was like you, when I got to New York, I saw people doing things, like Judah Friedlander got a Snickers commercial, where he sat on a recliner

at the 50 yard line. I remember he's like, I got $125,000 for that. I was like, dude, that's all the money I wanna make. If I make that, I'm set. Yeah, yeah, Santa had a Visa commercial where he was like buying stuff to impress a girl for a date. And I don't know, I think he made like 30 grand,

but that was mind boggling. I remember getting paid 50 bucks at Eastside Comedy Club to host an open mic night the first time I got paid. And to me, if it ended there, I was good. Like I just paid 50 bucks for the thing I would do for free for the rest of my life. I just tried to, I'm gonna tell you the craziest thing. Yesterday, I decided I was gonna take $20 million out

of life insurance on both my daughters. I was like, $20 million on both of them. Who gets the money then? Me. If they die, I get the money. Why not the other kid? No, fuck that. The whole point is, if something happens to them,

I want the money, because I'm never gonna work again. Oh, I see. So I was like, yeah, I'm gonna kill myself at the bottom of a bottle. You're never gonna see me again. No more podcasts, no more anything. This is like a Dateline episode waiting to happen.

Yeah, well they said number one, you just can't take $20 million dollars out of somebody. I'm such a child that I was just like, line it up. Have you ever inherited money? No, and that was my big plan. Yeah. Like that was, I was like, I was pretty set on being an heir. Like didn't know where the money was gonna come from. I was like, I was pretty set on being an heir.

Like didn't know where the money was gonna come from. I was like, it'll show up somewhere. I was like, that was what I'd be best at. I never had a plan on working. I never thought I'd work. I never thought I'd have a passion for working. I never knew how to take notes in class. Like I never understood how to take a test.

I never understood how to study. Like I'd go to study with a girl in college and we'd sit down in the library and I'd be like, what is she doing? Are you supposed to be reading the book? Like every word? How does it work?

I went and got a brain scan years ago and they scanned my brain and afterwards I sit down with a guy and he's like, you ever been a car accident? And I'm like, yeah. Like from behind? He's like, I'm like, yeah. He's like, you see that little mark there? That's brain damage. And I'm like, well. Like from behind, he's like, I'm like, yeah. He's like, you see that little mark there? That's brain damage.

And I'm like, well, what would that do? He's like, well, do you have trouble kind of like processing information? And I'm like, yeah. Like, do you have like attention stuff? I'm like, yeah. He's like, yeah, it's probably from that. And I realized like, that's why I'm so dumb.

You know, cause I always joke, like the reason why everyone is dumb in all my movies, like no character is like a genius, is I can't even fake what a genius would sound like like I can't even write a doctor the way a doctor talks It's always like Ken Jeong and knocked up like I can't even do it And so there are certain things like I can't like you can explain how a camera works like the f-stop and the aperture a Like you could explain how a camera works, like the f-stop and the aperture, a hundred times to me, it will fall out of my brain every single time.

So that's why everyone is stoned in all the movies. And then I'm like, that's it. 1992, I got hit from behind. It's a weird story. I was stoned and got hit by a drunk driver. I'm driving, we had a party because the Ben Stiller show got picked up, the sketch show. And so we have like a little party.

I always remember it because it was the night Leno made his first appearance as the host of The Tonight Show. Wow. And I'm driving home and I never smoked pot or drank, but I did like smoke pot. So I'm driving home and I'm going like 27 miles an hour down Santa Monica Boulevard. And as I very carefully drive home in front of the police station on Santa Monica Boulevard, a drunk driver going like 60 miles an hour, as I slow down for a yellow light, just drives

straight into me. So now I'm like, you know, I'm on, it's like a GTI, a Volkswagen GTI. It is completely accordion. And then the car runs that hit me, like speeds off, hit and run. And so now I go to the side of the street and I'm like, kind of like, oh, Jesus Christ. But I'm also stoned, but also thrown by the accident.

With a traumatic head injury. With the, yeah, and then these people see me and they're like, are you okay, are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, I'm okay, and I don't know if I'm like trying to not act high or I am freaked out from the accident. And they look at me like, oh, he must be drunk. Yeah.

The truth is I may not even been high, you know, who knows? But then the cops pull up, because it happens in front of the police station, and they go, we caught him. We already caught him. Get in the back. So now I gotta get in the back of the cop car, stoned to find the drunk driver who hit me.

And they drive me to this this car and there's these guys like handcuffs on and they're like, is that the car? And I'm like, yeah, trying not to act stoned. Yeah, yeah. And. Smells like it. Yeah. And then I got $5,000 for the car, you know,

to the insurance and my mother stole it from me because she just needed money then. So I'm like, did that check come in? She's like, no, it hasn't come in. Like two years later, I'm like, what happened to that money? Yeah, I needed it, I had some mortgage bills to pay. I'm like, I almost died in that car accident and now I have brain damage.

Okay, let's go back to this. Chicken and the egg, okay? Is there, I'm gonna argue that Jonah Hill is the funniest actor I've ever seen on camera ever, okay? I think he is absolutely brilliant. Chicken and the Egg, is there a Jonah Hill without Judd Apatow? Do we get Jonah Hill if we don't get a guy like Judd

who allows him to figure out how to be a great fucking actor in all these movies? I mean, so it's like, obviously Jonah is great, and was gonna be great no matter what. Would the right opportunity have lined up for him to show how great he could be? And you never know because, like just being an actor, do you ever get that audition

and do you nail the audition on the right day to get the part? And there certainly were other people when I met Jonah who were beginning to go, who is this kid? So I certainly don't take any credit for that other than as a young person who felt like I wasn't part of the culture in a lot of ways. A lot of the work I did back then was how come

there aren't people like me in movies or the lead of movies? Like I always thought John Candy should be the lead of every movie. You know, I used to joke, you know, I'd prefer the Bourne identity if it starred George Wendt. Like that's what I was trying to do. He was 35 each year. He was 35 in Cheers.

He was 35 in Cheers. So there was all these people that were brilliantly funny. Seth Rogen at 16 was crazy, crazy funny, but it was a thing that, would they have done it anyway? No, Seth Rogen wouldn't have, and I'll tell you why. This is, and I have to tell you, your children, and I put Steve Care you, your children, and I put Steve Carell in that group, I put Paul Rudd in that group.

The people that you directed, produced, helped spawn, Jason Segel, all these brilliant, brilliant, brilliant actors have been in other stuff. Seth Rogen was in Donnie Darko and did not pop. No one gave him the air to breathe. Like, and that is the biggest problem with, I think with auditioning and acting, is you don't get directors and producers who go,

let's be yourself, let's be as wild. And you gave that, and I use Jonah as an example because in that, like I'll just say super bad as an example, the scene with him and the teacher where it was like him just fucking riffing, that is the Jonah Hill we have today. People saw that and then that allowed him to become who he is today, I believe.

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and get 35% off your first subscription. Thanks to Equip Foods for sponsoring this episode and these jacked ass muscles. I mean, I think like, there's always like a ton of people involved in that. Greg Metolla directed Superbad and he had done an amazing movie called The Day Trippers. And we're like, what if we got a great director to direct this movie?

Like not like your classic comedy director. What if we got like a real director? And that raised the game of everybody and the quality of the movie. But I certainly was a champion of a certain type of person and a certain style of behavior. And a lot of it came from, you know, I love diner. Like to me, like diner and fast times

were pretty big templates for a certain kind of comedy style. Who did you see yourself as in Fast Times at Ridgemont High? Like the nerd who worked at the movie theater. That, you know. Not the cool guy who sold the tickets, like the guy with him. Yeah. That's kind of more what I was relating to.

I saw myself as the guy that worked at the fucking, I saw myself as Judge Reinhold. Yeah, yeah, maybe. But I think, I didn't even think of myself as cool as Judge Reinhold. I thought he was a d yeah, maybe. But I think I didn't even think of myself as cool as Judge Reinhold. I thought he was a dork. He had caught jerking off.

Because he had the energy to tell the boss to fuck off and stuff and I never felt like I had that energy. I wanted to be Sean Penn. Yes, yeah. I've always wanted to be Sean Penn. I mean maybe, I'm trying to think who I related to. I mean there are things that I liked that I didn't feel like I was like them.

I loved John Cusack and Say Anything was a big movie. I loved Welcome to the Dollhouse, which is this great Todd Solan's movie about this girl in junior high school gets like bullied and it's just really dark and funny. But so, I championed people and then there was these huge collaborations where, you know, Jason Segel wrote Forgetting Sir Marshall

and so the thing that I did is like, I believe in you as a writer, even though you've never written a script, but he was a genius in what he did and that's the case for everybody. It's more like creating collaborations, like little groups of people, like here's the group for Superbad, Seth and Evan had worked on that script

since they were like 13 years old. So my main thing was like, this is worth us pursuing vigorously over many, many years. This is worth our time to keep improving. And when everyone says no for half a decade, let's continue to fight to see if we could ever get anyone to make it.

But it's their greatness that is the reason, because what I noticed is that in retrospect, a lot of people try to get more credit for these things. And as I get older, I'm like, no, the best part is that we created these teams and pulled this off, these little families. That was your brilliance is you seem to have this great coach energy.

And I keep getting stuck, like I was always working out this morning, I'm with my trainer, and he said, dude, he's the reason my sense of humor is from Judd. And I was like, what? And he's like, all of us, like all those movies we all watched when we were kids, like every one of his fucking movies, he defined comedy at that time.

And I was like, oh, I forgot. And then I printed your list and I was like, all of them? Like, it's wild. Yeah, it's like a mental break. You know what I mean? Because I think what happened was no one wanted to do our stuff for a long time. So we kept writing as if one day they would.

And then when one of them hit, the first one was that I didn't work on it, but old school was a hit. And Will Ferrell was in old school. And that opened the floodgates and that made them wanna make Anchorman, which Will wrote with Adam McKay and Adam directed it and I produced it.

And then because that did well, they allowed us to do the 40-Year-Old Virgin. And then suddenly all those scripts that we couldn't get anyone to make, like Superbad and Pineapple Express, they said yes to all of them. So now suddenly we're really busy because we had this backlog of rejected movies.

And then they said, okay, what if we did all of them? And people were so passionate because each one was the person who wrote its most passion project. Forgetting Sarah Marshall was the obsession of Jason Segel. Seth and Evan were obsessed with Superbad and Pineapple Express. Me and Jake were obsessed with Walk Hard. So yeah, so that's what that run was based on.

It was based on having too much rejected stuff and then suddenly the floodgates opened. Like, do you want to try to make all of it? They're still rejecting my stuff. Yeah, well, me too. I mean, now it's different. It's a different time. There was certainly economics of the industry

where everyone was buying DVDs and everyone was buying the DVDs of these comedies. And so the bar to get them made was much lower. I'm saying this for the listeners. I think the movie industry is, I find it fascinating, but I think it's also confusing. Like when you say you produced, forgetting Sarah Marshall, what does a producer do to the average person listening?

What do they do? Well, like that was something that Jason had this idea for a script and then Nick Stoller who directed it said to me, if I help him by overseeing the writing, I'd love to direct it and he had never directed before. So as a producer, you know, I got the script sold, I got Nick approved to be the director. So you're taking it to the studio.

To the studio. And you're saying, and you have a connection with the studio, you're saying, do you have a deal at the studio? I have a deal at the studio, which is basically just to show them things I believe in. And so you walk in, you have a connect, like a person you talk to,

probably on a daily basis or once a week Yeah, and you go. This is a script with Jason Siegel. I know you don't know who Jason Siegel is, but he's awesome He was in freaks and geeks. He's all they know him from knocked up at that Oh, yeah, he had been knocked up but he hadn't been the lead in a movie and It is one of those situations where because no one knew Steve Carell when 40 old virgin came out That in that environment they were like, oh, people will go see movies starring people they don't know

or that aren't big stars. And so because those movies did well and Seth did great with Knocked Up, they were like, oh, so this is an interesting formula. You can expose someone to someone new, make a movie at a reasonable budget and we trust that you guys are doing a decent job, but it's all the script.

And so Jason, with Nick's help, came up with an incredible script. If the script didn't blow your mind, they weren't gonna let you make it. That part of it was, it was an incredible piece of writing. And also Jason meant it. Like everything he was talking about with heartbreak, he was being very personal.

And that's why people love it so much, because they can tell it's not just a fabrication. These are his feelings. That's the reason I like him is, and like I never watched the How I Met Your Mother. Whatever movies he's done, the one with Paul Rudd. I loved it. I love you, man. I love you man.

I love you man. The reason I like him is he seems overly sensitive. Like he seems like he probably doesn't go online, he probably doesn't, and I feel like, like I heard one time about John Candy that he was, Steve Martin was saying he was a very, very sensitive guy. And he could almost, it was almost a problem

how sensitive he was. That is 100% me. Like I am, and I identify with sensitive people, I can see it in people, and I feel like that's Jason Segel. I feel like he's like, I don't know. And I think he's got a big dick, so like I can't understand why he's so sensitive.

Where does it come from? Where does it come from? Where does it come from? I mean, that should kind of balance it all out. I mean, I used to love writing for Jason, like freaks and geek scenes where he was a nightmare to Linda Cardellini. There's the scene where he sings lady to her to tell her how much he loves her,

so he sings lady, or Lady L, then he rewrites a song of Lady L about her. Like kind of the cringiest, I love you so much, but you, and then where the girl clearly doesn't reciprocate, which is how I always felt as a kid, like I'm trying to show you how much, and they're just like, oh God, this is a nightmare. And you're telling me how much you like me.

And the same when we did Undeclared, this college show. I remember Undeclared, Kevin Hart was in that. Yeah, and Siegel would be the long distance boyfriend of Carla Gallo, and he would always just be on the phone, are you cheating on me? And he could improvise it all day long, like crazy long distance boyfriend. Is James Franco, is he as funny in person

as he is in movies? Like is that a character he's doing, or is he really funny in person as he is in movies? Like is that a character he's doing or is he really like kind of like goofy funny? You know, he was always very funny, you know, because we improvised a lot on Freaks and Geeks. And then he didn't do comedies for a while, he did a lot of very serious movies.

He's a great, by the way, he could, I think he could have been our next James Dean. Yeah, I was at this film festival and I saw this movie that he directed that was really experimental and hilarious and we all hadn't worked together in years. And I was like, you know, we're gonna do this movie, Pineapple Express, maybe you should talk to Seth about it.

And then they reversed the parts, I think. That's what happened in Neighbors with John Candy and Jim Belushi, John Belushi. And I always feel like it was a mistake, but it worked in that. Yeah, well, I mean, I always loved Neighbors. I know people remember that movie. Corey Feldman's in it.

Really, a young Corey Feldman. By the way, don't ever listen to a word I say. I had a teacher that loved me, loved me. It's the fucking coolest guy in the world. He passed away during, when I was in college, but he brought up Sam Cooke. I go, shot while I'm a woman. And he went, really?

I said, I wouldn't listen to me. I don't know. And he- That isn't true, by the way. It is, kind of. I don't think that's what they think happened. No, no, that's what happened. That's what they, they framed him.

They framed him for that. They framed him for that. Yeah, there's a documentary on Netflix about this. For real? There's like a full documentary about that case, because it's a really weird murder. Well, I know what I'm. Because he came out. There's a documentary on Netflix about this. For real? There's like a full documentary about that case because it's a really weird murder. I know what I'm smoking pot and watching tonight. That is, I was obsessed with Sam Cooke.

I was obsessed with Sam Cooke because of Moonlighting. The TV show? The TV show, that character, Bruce Willis' character, listened to Sam Cooke. And I was like, I want to be cool like him, so I to Sam Cooke and I was like I want to be cool like him So I bought Sam Cooke albums and I put them on I got tapes I would mow the lawn listen to Sam Cooke on I will get into Sam Cooke. That's how I got obsessed with Al Jarreau Are you sure? Some go by night

Some go by day Moonlighting strangers. Wait, that was the theme of the song. That's the theme to moonlighting. I used to listen to Al Jarreau records as a kid, make out with my girlfriend, listen to Al Jarreau records. And then I was so bad because there's this scene in Knocked Up where Seth and Paul are talking and Paul's like talking about bands he likes because he's in the record industry and they talk about Steely Dan, and I love Steely Dan, but

Seth keeps talking about how much he hates Steely Dan and Paul's like, no, no, the early stuff, the early stuff. And Seth goes, if I ever hear Steely Dan again, I hope someone cuts my head off with an Al Jarrell record. Fucking obsessed with Steely Dan. I love John Mulaney. I love John Mulaney. When I first met him, I was like, I get it.

He's smart. He's an SNL guy. He's like a Harvard kid or Georgetown kid. Nick Kroll, John Mulaney. It's like, it'll be cool. He didn't drink on anything, so I was like, never was my speed. I was like, I'll probably never get into a conversation with him. He was friends with Amy. I was like, but he probably never get into a conversation with him. And he was friends with Amy.

And I was like, but he's funny, you know? I like nice guy. And then I heard him say, yeah, the reason I don't drink is because in college I got really into cocaine and Steely Dan. And I went, I fucking love John Mulaney. I was like, he's the sexiest comic we've got. No one knows the fucking danger inside that

because I've been there. I'm fucking obsessed with Steely Dan. Yeah, no, I go down these wormholes where I watch documentaries on YouTube. It'll just be like a 15 minute documentary about the guy who did the solo on Peg and just explaining how they recorded the solo. I find that in these times that are so stressful

with the world and hurricanes and politics, the only thing that makes me relax is short documentaries about why rock bands broke up. You know, here's why Fleetwood Mac broke up. Here's why foreigners mad at each other. That is my sedative. I'm fascinated by what your Instagram algorithm looks like. I'm fascinated what everyone's algorithm looks like. Like what is offered to me. I'm always by what your Instagram algorithm looks like. I'm fascinated by what everyone's algorithm looks like.

Like what is offered to me. I'm always hitting that button, stop recommending. It's more the YouTube algorithm. Oh, I'm fucking, I am very precious with YouTube. YouTube is my go-to. My YouTube algorithm is history, history, history. Really? That's it. Mine is just interviews with P. Diddy's bodyguards.

It's just a lot of Vlad TV. Oh, you do not listen to watch Vlad TV. I'm deep in all of those shows. Are you serious? Where they talk to like former bodyguards and you know, gangsters and Italian gangsters and rappers and. Are you into Vlad TV?

Jaguar rights, you know, I'm going deep down the well of... I like these long form interviews. You know, what happened to Diddy's party? I'll do time with that. Sweet, are you like a cinephile? I'm not, you know, I didn't get into it, like movies, because I love movies. I just wanted to be, you know, Jeff Altman or Seinfeld,

you know, when I was a kid. And so I liked movies, but I didn't watch them like, I'm gonna study the angles of the cinematography. I just liked, you know, meatballs and stripes. And that was it, you know, the little Serpico. So it took me years later to try to figure out, like, cinema and the technology of it because I paid no attention whatsoever.

I was just a Ghostbusters guy. Oh, I always say like a long time ago, I put up a tweet, I was like, what are the five comedies that defined you? And then mine were all Bill Murray. Like they were all Bill Murray. It was like Stripes, Caddyshack, I mean John Candy, Bill Murray,

not even John Belushi, and I know I'm a Farley Belushi guy, like those are my heroes, but like man, Bill Murray just, gotta find my sense of humor, it's so funny. I look at so many of my friends, so many of my friends in comedy that are spawned from your movies.

Their sensibility is still, like mine will always be Chevy Chase, Bill Murray walking into a bar, you know, with a one-liner, a thing, a drink, and I can still, you know, like a little Rodney Dangerfield to it, and theirs is still like, they're still quoting super bad. They're still, like they're still, I don't even think most of them realize it.

You know, I think, I think that's something that we realized because movies were so precious to us. Yeah. Like they were so big. In 1984, the movies in 1984 were the biggest movies I've ever could imagine. I just did it the other day. I did a post of like the big movies in 1984. I just posted this the other day.

And because the songs in 1984 were fucking epic. 1984, Beverly Hills Cop, Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Gremlins, The Karate Kid, Police Academy, Footloose, Romance in the Stone, and then Star Trek, Search for Spock. Compare that to this year. Wow.

Right? We pull up the biggest grossing movies. It's gotta be Marvel, Marvel, Marvel. Yeah, it's just a very different thing. But don't you always think like, but like everybody thinks that, like every like older person's like, in my generation we had Cary Grant, Barbara Stanwyck.

I heard that was excellent. Inside Out 2, Deadpool and Wolverine, people love, The Spick, Wove, Me, part of the series, Dune Part II, people love. It's just very different, right? It's like big, Godzilla, King Kong, Pogorius, successor, Bad Boys writer. I see it's a very different tone of the lists.

Now say the list again, the 84 lists. It's Beverly Hills Cop, Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Gremlins, The Karate Kid, Police Academy, Footloose, Romancing the Stone, Star Trek III, The Search for Spock. Romancing the Stone is out of that whole, I mean, these. I would say there's a big difference, charm.

Yeah. I think that those movies kind of, there's a warmth and a charm to them. Michael Douglas and Romancing the Stone, that's one of my favorite movies in the world. I think more movies should be made like that. And he is just like charming as fuck in that. Well, there's a lot of chemistry in those movies

and also their lower intensity. Like everything has just gotten more intense because we're in a world where everyone is obsessed with completion rates and pulling you through the show on the streamer so you never shut it off. So everything must be intense every second. It'd be either turning you on or scaring you or violent so that you won't shut shit off. You know, things don't calm down. And that's the whole thing when you hear about shows,

like what was the completion rate? I heard a lot of people just watched for 17 minutes. You know, oh, people just watched the first four, but they didn't get through all eight of that show. And we didn't use to talk like that before. You know, there was a sense that people had some patience and they would finish it. But, you know, I've been thinking a lot about,

you know, the need for comedy. In the old days, you would wait all week to go see Ghostbusters, and you wouldn't see much during the week. Maybe you'd watch MASH or something, but you're excited to have that entertainment. But now, I mean, if you're just scrolling through TikTok and YouTube,

you've seen 1,000 of the best jokes of all time. Like I could just right now look at cat videos and people falling and pranks and they are great. Not all of them, but enough of them that it might make you go, I don't know if I need to see a movie this weekend. Oh, we were so deprived of entertainment. My entertainment was riding my bike around our neighborhood.

Yeah. Like that was my, that was like a, like I got nothing to do, I'm gonna get on my bike and just ride around the block. Yeah, and then Indiana Jones is coming out on the weekend. So what would that mean to you when you've just been circling the block out of boredom all week, and now it's just like the need for that break

and how exciting an exciting movie was, was very different when when right now, like at any moment when you're online at Starbucks, you're gonna watch a freeway chase and then you're gonna watch like a eight year old girl play Led Zeppelin on the drums and then you're gonna watch a soldier return home to his family that didn't know he was coming home

and it's just like, ah, ah, so much enjoyment and dopamine. Why are you gonna watch a stunt with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon when you clearly can watch some overweight chick try to do a rope swing and eat shit? And it's so much funnier. And then you just go next. It's crazy. Three of those movies that I mentioned,

I did not know a thing about them as I walked into the movie theater. Because you can go see everything. Footloose, I did not know a thing about them as I walked into the movie theater. Yeah, because you can go see everything. Footloose, I walked in, Eric Knubbell's mom dropped us off in a tan van, they had a tan van, and I remember she dropped us off, and she said, what movie are you guys seeing? And Eric said, Footloose.

And I said, what is it? And he goes, it's about a town of kids who can't dance. And I started laughing hysterically, thinking, oh, this is gonna be good. I didn't know nothing about it. Karate Kid, I mean, I assumed it was about karate, but I was at tennis camp, it was my first day at tennis camp.

And- I went to tennis camp. Yeah? Do you still play? I do. Really? Yeah. Like, how good?

Casual. If I warm back up, but no, not like vicious. I gotta warm back up too. Do you play with Steve Carell? I haven't played with Steve Carell. I hear that he has like a great tennis game. I bet he's been consistent. Yeah.

He looks like someone who practices. Yeah. Right? Like he's got a weekly game and he's kept it up. He strikes me as a guy that I'd have breakfast with him and he'd stare out of the side of his eye the entire time and try to figure me out. No, he's not like that. He'd be like.

That's not what Steve is like. There's a lot of that side of comedy. Yeah. I always feel like I rub wrong. Like when I see your shows at the... Largo. Largo, I always go like, I bother so many people in that green room.

I'd be like. I don't think that's true. I think that's a funny kind of like thought out there that that is the case, but I don't find it to be true. I definitely feel like I get talked to by the manager. They'd be like, I understand that you're a thing in other comedy scenes, but here, we don't say that word. And I'd be like, oh, my bad.

But don't you feel like one of the things that's missing in comedy is like when I started doing standup, it was like Kinnison and Goldthwait and Dice was around. And even like crazy people like Lenny Schultz who used to just like throw food in his face. They were like characters. Yeah.

You know, people were like taking crazy chances. They were just like more insane people. There were more insane people. They were like taking crazy chances. They were just like more insane people. They were like truly insane people, like where you're like scary people, where like the club, there really was danger. I think there's so much money in comedy right now that everyone's like trying to manipulate things. I don't like that.

I like the, I like go up there because you're broken. I like that. I don't know something about that. One of the best sets I ever saw was Paul Rodriguez going up on stage like in 1990 and just looking miserable and was frustrated in his career and just complained for 20 minutes. In the most honest terms.

It was one of the funniest 20 minutes I've ever seen. It was just like, you know, when you see someone like one in the morning, Dangerfield used to do that too. He'd get up on stage at like one in the morning, wouldn't do the act and just be depressed. And the crowd would be shocked because they think he's gonna do Dangerville and he

would just be like, oh yeah, oh yeah, life makes perfect sense and then you come. Then he looks at the lady in the crowd, he's like, oh yeah, you'd be different, you'd love me for me, you'd just love me for me. And it was so funny but so dark. But real and raw. Like there used to be more of that, I mean I think before the internet and social media, people would let themselves kind of do things on stage because they didn't think anyone

would talk about it anywhere. And that was different that you could go into a club, do something really crazy, and there was no part of you that thought anyone would ever mention it to you for the rest of your life. Two questions. You have a show coming up in Atlanta on November 3rd. I have one, yeah, Atlanta on the 3rd.

I'm doing some hurricane benefits. I had some shows, so I just made them all hurricane benefits because it's so brutal. So the one in Atlanta, I think it's the Variety Playhouse. The Variety Playhouse in Atlanta, Sunday, November 3rd. All proceeds are being donated to American Red Cross for Hurricane Relief. And then you're all, are you doing,

the Beacon one, is that a benefit too? That's a benefit for you. So the one in Atlanta is for Georgia. The one at the Beacon Theater on the 9th is for North Carolina, and then I'm gonna be at Largo on October 15th for Florida. Okay, nice. I'm doing a benefit November. I was supposed to do one Saturday for Tampa,

but it got pushed. So I'm doing mine November 15th at Ruth Hecker Hall in Clearwater. Now it's gonna be two hurricanes. But it's gonna be two hurricanes. It's crazy, I'm gonna ask you a weird question. And we'll wrap this up, I know you have a busy day. I have nothing to do. Great.

The- It never wants to be wrapped up less. I saw a interview with Bill Gates last night, and they asked him, should we have billionaires? And he said, absolutely. And Bernie Sanders says, absolutely not. And I wondered to you, I don't know how much money you have, I'm assuming it's a lot, right? You don't have fancy stuff,

like that was one of Tom's questions. He was like, ask him what his favorite Rolex is. I was like, Tom, I'm not gonna ask him that. He's like, I don what his favorite Rolex is. I was like, Tom, I'm not gonna ask him that. He's like. I don't have an interest that costs money other than I might buy tickets to see something. Yeah. But I don't really, I don't like,

like I bought a Porsche after the, no it was a lease, I leased a Porsche after 40 Old Virgin was a hit. And then it drove shitty unless you were going like 80. And it scared me. And I put it in the garage, I didn't drive it for two years until the lease was up. Because it just scared me.

Because it really forced me to go very fast. It was just not fun to be like 30 miles an hour around town and I don't really drive long distances. So I'm mainly in just like traffic with a stick. That was Tom's second question. Does he like driving a stick and a Porsche? Yeah. He was like, he was like,

cause Tom's obsessed with Porsches. I mean, I understand why people like that stuff. I just, I never had that interest, but the idea that I could go, oh, if the Mets play the Dodgers, I could buy tickets last minute and get in. That's really the only thing that- Car services?

Like, do you like Ubers? Like, I won't get the cheap Uber, I'll get the nice Uber. Yeah, do you buy your own clothes? Like, do I have people do it? I would've, no, I was assuming your wife. No, she doesn't have that much interest. She'll consult. But I think I've worn the same James Purse shirt for about six years at this point.

He makes great shirts. Yeah, I mean like- By the way, this is James Purse. Yeah. And by the way, JP is a friend of mine. Yeah. I DM, my wife texts with him. I mean, the amount of JP I'm wearing,

the fact that I haven't gotten one free shirt out of him my entire life when I literally don't think I wear Anything else so yeah, I don't Like anything like like I don't want to know what time it is I'd also don't like expensive things like where you're like Oh, I shouldn't wear this because someone might murder me like yeah That's a problem and scary right now is that my favorite place to eat, they had a robbery. People were waiting for the car and the guy pulled the gun.

And I was like, what the fuck? I was like, so we're I gonna take jewelry off before I go to eat dinner? Now do you have nice jewelry? I like watches, but I don't like every watch. Does Tom like watches? He does, is that his thing? That's a bo-bop-a-dick.

Yeah. Tom got me to watch his, and I just like getting into shit. Like I love getting into shit. Like I just got into, it's when we talk about music, I just got into F1. I never, I'm gonna fuck about F1,

and then all of a sudden, here's the thing, it's like if the majority of the world's right about something, you can't also be right by shitting on it. It's gotta be good. And so I got into F1, Tom's always been in F1, I was like, well I'm not gonna be in, I don't really care. I don't watch NASCAR, I'm not gonna get into F1. They've got that drive to survive thing on fucking Netflix,

have you seen it? Judd, Judd, here's what I'd like to say, Judd. You're about to change my life? I'm about to change your life. Check out Drive to Survive. First of all, it's just like the quarterbacks. It's like the new one with the wide receivers, the track run. It's the live golf guys.

You're following a group of guys, who by the way are beyond passionate about anything. I think you will understand passion begets passion. And when you watch these guys talk about driving their life, they're guys that have been dedicated to driving their whole fucking lives, and they're at the top of their fucking game. And you get to see a slice of what their real life's like,

what the teams are made up of. It is fucking amazing. Judd, here's what I'll say to you. Judd, I want you to get into Drive Survive. Just try it out. I'm gonna check back in with you and tell you how it went. Nope, nope. And then me and you are going to Vegas.

To watch F1. I will get a, I me and you were going to Vegas to watch F1. I will get up, I will buy us tickets. We will go to F1. But wait, so you sit in one place and you just see him go by? Zoom. Because you know, I worked on Taladag Unites and we shot, you know, races and stuff.

And that, but then I didn't ever really start following it afterwards. Really? I'm trying to think, like I've warmed to soccer, football. I don't know it well, but I've kind of watched some matches and I did like the tennis Netflix show. We've got a hookup at Netflix. Why can't we, like, first of all, get, I want to get back in the track. I want to be with, like, I want to see all of it. I want to smell the cars. I want to with, like, I wanna see all of it.

I wanna smell the cars, I wanna smell the oil, I wanna see people passionate, I wanna see people's trailers, because their trailers are fucking sick. Judd, we go to F1 in Vegas. Will you Google when F1 in Vegas is? How many cars does Tom have? Is he building a Seinfeld Leno type car collection?

What date is it, the one in Vegas? Can you find out? Tom is, what date is it? The one in Vegas, can you find out? Tom is, I think he would be mad if I told you what he's doing. So I'll tell you. Okay. He has dug out a basement for cars. He has the lifts put into his garage

where he can put cars up on things. So I think he has nine cars. He is, I think he does. And those are just ones he keeps in the garage. He has a couple more over at his office. Him and Rogan are really into cars. It's like, I guess you could shit on people into cars, but I'm into stuff, but it's not really cars.

Does Seinfeld laugh at how few cars he has? Oh, I'm certain he does. Seinfeld's like legit, almost autistic about cars, right? And then everyone else sells one for so much money. Like he needs room, so he sells them. Wait, are you close with Seinfeld? I know him, yes. Oh, like do you text him?

I could, I don't. You don't? But I have the number. I'm trying to see, if we get four tickets, I bring Tom, me, you, number. I'm trying to see if we get four tickets, I bring Tom, me, you, and then who else? Jerry, we'll get Jerry there. I'm gonna go to the Grand Prix. 45 days, seven hours, 39 minutes, until the...

November, I think, Judd, I hate to say this. It's Halloween, I mean, it's Thanksgiving week. No, I think me and you are actually shooting that week. Oh yeah. Are you think Ted can get us tickets to this F1 thing? I feel like Ted Serenos has access to tickets generally. I feel like when he wants to go places. I'm gonna hit him up.

You can go. Leanne is dying to know. I think I've done all Tom's questions. Your favorite Rolex, your favorite cars. Are you excited for the new line in Gucci? Yes. Okay. So you guys buy that?

You guys will go, you'll buy some Gucci? Tom is a hardcore Gucci fan. Like that's all he wears is like the most ridiculous clothes. I've never been able to have a style, like a fashion style. Like would I be Euro trash? Would I be kind of country guy? Would I be modern indie guy?

Like I can't. You're so deep into your style, you don't even know your style. I like, I can't get a style. You are a Hollywood writer. Yeah, but I like that people do, like I like that, you know, Tom's like, I'm gonna fucking be stylish right now.

And you know, Jonah is very into like kind of style, and he loves fashion. But like for me, I think I still feel like such like a 10 year old nerd, that the idea of like dressing up feels very embarrassing to me. Well, it's your, in all honesty, you're putting on a costume.

Yeah. Like you're deciding who people will see you as based on your exterior. And you're right. My daughters tell me I dress like a 12 year old.. And you're right, my daughters tell me I dress like a 12 year old. They're like, you wear oversized hats, you wear sneakers or flip flops, jeans and a t-shirt.

But do you have your version of when you're getting dressed up? Nope. Yeah, so you're like, you're like. I legit have to have a stylist pick clothes out for me because I cannot, like if I have to go to a premiere, I can't, I don't know what to wear. It's even like Sandler who has like a no style style. It is a style.

It is a style. And it evolved because it was always that, like Sandler's gonna wear like a winter coat with shorts. And I don't think he thought anything of it, just kind of comfort, never thought of it. And as the years have gone by, like people have identified his choices to the point where I hear there's a day at schools every year

where everyone dresses like Sandler dresses in life. He dresses, he dresses like he's blind. The fact that Adam Sandler can wear red sweatpants with just off-the-shelf Nikes, like the ridiculous ones that still have the pump in the front, with a collared shirt and then a trench coat, is like, it's so fucking next level fashionable that it's a flex, because if anyone else tried to wear that,

be like, you can't wear that in here, but then now they're out of. But is it, the question, and I know him really well. Pull up Adam Sandler's. Like, is it a flex if you have put zero thought into it? He has to put a little. On some level. Do you think in his mind it looks fantastic?

Or he's just like this feels nice to wear these shorts? That's it, red pants. Red pants, yellow shirt, that's it. I saw him in that outfit. I have those, that's Adidas. I have those, They're very comfortable. They're so comfortable. He's naming golf shirts. I bought these golf shirts too. They're like these golf shirts made out of some sort of chemical or plastic that you can just sweat in and they're

comfortable. It's a very specific, I think people our age type of golf shirt, which I found myself when I was shooting a movie in North Carolina, it was 100 every day. It was the only thing I wouldn't sweat through was this kind of shirt. But this is like, I wouldn't wear that on a plane. Like, no offense to him, but like, I would never, I would never think to put that on unless I was doing laundry.

So he's alpha dogging by wearing that. It's a fucking, like, anyone else goes to do, what is he doing, Kimmel or Fallon? The only reason why I don't think it's a flex, I guess, is because when we were in our early 20s and lived together, that's how he dressed. But I guess at some point, people start really begging you to dress up

because you're gonna go to Beyond Letterman, that the moment you refuse to put on the suit, is at the flex moment. That's the flex, that's where we all wanna be. You know, I said when I did- Here's my fashion. That's as fashionable as I get. Oh, you got a Pearl Jam shirt on with Eddie Vedder?

That's such a kiss ass move. That is so lame. You got a Pearl Jam shirt on with Eddie Vedder? It's like, hey, I have this shirt from your concert. I kept it. But look at Adam Sandler's outfits. They are- But that's 1989, basically, on the right there.

That's 89 Sandler. And you can't really slam them for what they like. I remember I was doing a thing. Look at his wife and his daughters are all dressed up. And then he doesn't look bad. You know, you have to respect the commitment to- Casual. The casual and to be happy.

You know, when I look at that, I just think it makes him happy to feel that way and this is who I am and it's, you know, there's nothing in this business that encourages that. In any way. When I was doing press for the machine, I was like, I don't want to wear a shirt. I don't want to wear a shirt because I couldn't fit in shirts. I was doing Press for the Machine, I was like, I don't wanna wear a shirt. I don't wanna wear a shirt

because I couldn't fit in shirts. I was really fat at the time. But I was like, and I just, and like they weren't, I just felt uncomfortable in a shirt. And I was doing like, I was doing some show and the guy was like, just so you know, you can def, you're definitely in a place where you can not wear a shirt.

Yeah. Like you're known for that. So like if you wanna wear it opened, no one's gonna have a problem with that. And so I started wearing shirts opened and I was like, have a problem with that. And so I started wearing shirts opened and I was like, wow, I feel good. And then I started realizing my style really is black dude. My style is- What year?

Probably this year. Anything black dudes wear right now, I love. Like a little bit of flair. If you go to those, do you know the shops that sell black dude clothes where it's like suits and hats and then they'll have their shirts where it's like a bedazzled giraffe?

That's what the clothes I'm actually, that's what you should wear. That's what I'm most comfortable in. Like I like those clothes. Could I pull it off? No. See, I need to find a type of dude. No, but your style's your style.

Your style is Hollywood writer. If you put on a hoodie and some New Balance. I'm like 1993 Simpsons writer. Yeah, exactly. You're 1993 Simpsons writer. It's John Vede. I'm John Vede or John Schwarzwald in human form. But you guys are in shape now.

Like you and Tom, you decided to exercise. You decided to get in shape. And see, I haven't taken the leap that you guys have taken. You guys work out, I hate working out. So it's always a struggle. The second I walk in, I'm like, I hate this, I hate all these people, I hate the people that work out,

the people who try to train me, I wanna punch them the second they start talking to me. Like the chatter with the trainer is like, I can't handle like the small talk, and if they count, I hate when they like start counting like five, four, three. I'm like, I can count myself like, because they're so bored.

And all I think is how fucking bored they are at watching me. Like just a guy watching me like do squats, that makes me uncomfortable. Like everything about it, I have so much trouble with. So I, right before COVID, I'm like, I'm gonna join the most expensive gym on earth so I feel guilty if I don't go.

And it was like this place and they had Cairo and massages and it was just so expensive. And I go, no matter what, I'm going three days a week. And then I did it for like a year. I go, I have to find a way to not hate this. Can I do it so much? And I slowly stopped hating it and I was like almost looking forward to it.

And then COVID hit? And then COVID hit and the place went out of business and I have not been back. I now only work out if I have a massive injury and need physical therapy. So wait, does your wife, I'm assuming your wife works out? She does, yes.

Yeah, she's, how did you get her? She's beautiful. Prayer. She's beautiful, and like you met her, like you guys are, like it's an interesting couple, but she's like, it's like, chicks like that, like Leanne, chicks like that, where the woman is so much prettier than the man.

Or just better in every way. What's that? Or just better in every way. Yeah's that? Or just better in every way. Yeah, in every way you're like, you're like, oh, they must have, there's something real about them. Where people don't think it makes sense, like they wonder what's wrong that it happened.

Yeah, like it's every chick that dated Pete Davidson. You're like, oh, because I know Pete's a sweet guy. Yeah. And I go, so you- He's very charming. He's cool. He's smart, very charming. By the way, same style as Adam Sandler. But he is stylish.

Like, Pete is trying to do the stylish. Pete is trying to do the Sandler 2.0 with style. That's how we might, that's how we might define it. But do you like working out? I love it. Like, so you get like, endorphins and- I get hardcore endorphins after. If I don't work out, I have depression all day.

So if I have to work out every day, I can take days off. Like if I'm flying, I can take a day off. I try to work, I do a workout in the morning. How long is it? An hour, every day, an hour. I do four, I do, and then sometimes I work out twice a day. Like today I work out twice, I'll go back and I'll jog.

But I think I'm just conditioned for that. I think I enjoy it and it really, it lets my brain, it kind of unclogs my brain a little bit. But you just kind of find like, it's really- I just have a panic attack the second I get on the treadmill I'm like, fucking 19 more minutes of this shit. Fucking 18 more minutes of this shit. What are you gonna do?

I used to get on the treadmill with a box of wine and watch guys' grocery games or diners' drive-ins and dives. And drink wine on the treadmill. Drink wine, I'd drink a box of wine and walk, and I'd just be like, I'd have fun. Or I'd, I love the idea, there's this great, I'm not, they're a podcast sponsor and I'm not plugging them because they're a sponsor.

There's this great thing called Tonal, which you put on the wall. Oh yeah, I just looked at it the other day. I gotta tell you why it's great is that you're doing it with a person, it is very guided, they don't let you cheat, so like once you do your strength part of it, then everything's set in, dialed in for you,

and you can take that off. If you stay still, you can take that off. But the other thing that's great about it is you can find like a, like if you're just like, I don't really have the time today, but I got 12 minutes. You can find a 12 minute workout in there. You can find a 10 minute workout.

Or if you get like balls, or you're like I can do a workout, and then later in the night, you know what, I'm gonna bang out arms real quick. That'll be fun. I'm gonna have a, I know we're going out to dinner, she's getting dry, I'm gonna go bang out arms. Toner really works.

If I agree to do a, toner? Toner? Toner? Yeah. If I agree to do toner and do like a before and after, where before I'm like hairy and fat, and then after I'm like, there's not a hair on my body, I'm like ripped, like when you see those like 70 year old

guys with their like ripped stomachs. I follow him on Instagram. You think they'll send me a free one? Yeah. I promise right now. By the way, like Oprah, like Oprah with Weight Watchers, I promise to get ripped. I'm 100% certain that Tonal's listening to this going,

we would love to. And by the way, I haven't even, the Tonal's listening to this, going, we would love to. And by the way, I haven't even, the best one's a spray tan. Just get a spray tan and you'll feel so fucking sexy. I get spray tans all the time. I love them because you feel so hot. You feel so fucking sexy. Well, the thing is I have to get lasered. Like last summer I knew I was going to be

like on a beach a lot. I'm like, God, I'm so hairy and my back is so hairy. I gotta fucking laser this shit off. I mean, I've never done it, but some hairs are like 11 inches at this point, like where you pull one and you can't believe how far out. I'm gonna get rid of, I'm gonna just laser it. So the lady's like, okay, well you gotta shave.

You gotta shave your whole body, like tight shave to do the lasers. For real. You know, which I have to like get help. And shaving me is like shaving like that. Wait, how hairy are you? Pull up Judd Apatow's shirtless. Yeah, it's not up there.

You know how hairy I am? You ever see like in a sitcom, if somebody was hairy on the beach, like that's the punchline in like a sitcom or a movie. I'm always hairier than that guy. Like the hairy guy on the beach. So you won't find it. You won't find it.

I would not allow it. So there it is. That's maybe the only time on the top left there where I did a photo shoot during Forty Old Virgin where they wanted to shave a V into my chest and I didn't realize that I was allowed to say no. You know, like you're young and you're like, okay, I guess, and then I had a V for like two years

waiting for it to grow back out. Oh, because all the other hairs are so much longer than they were in your whole lifetime. You'd have to trim it all down to get it back to that level. So did the laser work? What happened, so the first time I was shaved, so I had to have a family member shave me, it was like, you ever see like a dirty sheep

that has like five feet of filthy, matted hair, and then they just buzz it off, and then it looks like a tiny cat when they finally get it? Like that's what happened. And then so they lasered me me and then I'd have to keep getting shaved, lasered, like, they're like, it takes like 12 times. After three, like, it's not working at all.

And then she's like, well, we could go back to the older laser, because we've been using this new kind of laser. She starts doing it. It hurts like it's one flow of the cuckoo's nest. It's like, so much, and I try to let her do it, try to let her do it. And then I'm like, I can't do it. It just hurts too much.

It's like you're torturing me. And then now I have stripes. Like, so that is the one area that worked is I have like a stripe, like a racing stripe. And now I won't go back as it hurts too much. Like now even the rest of it out. I would love to get my back laser. Oh man.

I've gotten hairier since I used testosterone. Yeah. It's gotten aggressive. Cause I realized that like my Instagram ads kept like pushing back hair shavers on me just cause I talk about it so much. Dude, my Instagram, all it sends me is people celebrating sobriety.

Really? Because I'm doing Sober October, so I talk about being, I say- So it is listening. Oh, it's 100% listening. And do we know this, but like, it's formally, like Instagram has admitted we listen, and if you say something, we know it and we send an ad.

Like, is that like a confirmed technology at this point? 100%. There's no way that my algorithm, it never shows sobriety stuff, ever. It's always people partying, people shotgunning beers, and then every October it is sober this, sober life, sober, and suggestions, and I'm always like, what the fuck? And what's sad is I kind of enjoy them,

because it's nice to see someone get their life in track, but it's also going like, yo, what are you saying to me? I got my shit together. What the fuck? It's totally listening. Yeah, that's so weird though, isn't it? I think I would really like to get my back shaved, or just lasered.

I want my back lasered or waxed. I think I'll get my back lasered. We'll, we're about to find out. See, have you ever done that full test? I used to try to change it, you know? I used to do a joke where I said, about trying to change my Amazon recommendations, you know, because everything on Amazon,

like you buy one book about how to get your dick hard. Every day is like, how's your dick doing? And so I like, I want to change the algorithm because I fucked up the algorithm. So then I just bought like every single Kathy Griffin album just to see if I could switch the algorithm. And then, you know, but, uh, I just saw her in the, in the men Menendez brother. Was she in it? Oh, because they use the clip of her talking about it back then.

For making fun of the Menendez brothers. In like 1992? Yeah, and then, and now you realize that the TikToks changed the Menendez story. Because TikTok's very trauma positive, is the right way to say it. And so they're a little more empathetic than maybe the justice system was in the 90s.

They're definitely more empathetic than men were in the 90s. So apparently the men on that first trial railroaded these boys and they're like, no, they're fucking 18. Who molests an 18 year old? Who rapes an 18 year old boy? I remember watching it at home and, you know,

I was very young, so maybe I was 20 or 21, but thinking, I don't know how you could act this well and improvise these answers like this. And I guess now that I'm older, I do realize that that happens. But as a young person watching every minute of it, for weeks, I just thought, who could make up the specificity of this

and be so in the moment that if it was not true, it is one of the most incredible acting performances of all time. Without a doubt. And Lyle Menendez, his testimony is like, and David, they just came out, Netflix just came out with a documentary about it, which is fucking crazy.

And then you see what a fucking unhinged lunatic the prosecutor from the first trial was. She literally at one point in this documentary is like, these TikTok kids think they know the justice system and guess what, come after me, I got fucking guns in my house. And you're like, okay. You're like, come after me, I got fucking guns in my house. And you're like, okay. You're like, Jesus Christ.

Well, I guess probably now the whole world goes after her. Has to. Right, or at least the people who believe. And I guess that's scary for all those people and all those jobs. It used to be you would just do your job, and now even normal people have to deal with millions of people who are all worked up.

I mean, look at the, I mean, not to like casually, but like look at the hot to a girl, just casually says one thing one night drunk, and then her life changes entirely, and she's gotta put up with all the love, right, and all the fun, but then all these haters that are like, you're nothing, you're nobody, what, you know. Where do you stand on that?

I love her. I mean, I thought about it when she was on Bill Maher. I was like, what do I make of this? Right, and I thought, okay, so the culture like embraces people instantly, right? So things just explode instantly, like a girl, like I tried to, even as a parent and someone who makes things, and in a weird way,

my work competes with a hock two girl, right? In a weird way, that is the profound state of the joke. So part of you can be like an old man, like I don't like this, new things. But then I thought about it, I'm like, well, what is wrong about a joke about sex where like a young girl just cracking up who isn't like inner head,

isn't all conservative and concerned, like is that wrong to just be loose and happy and not weird about your body and what we all do? And then I just was like, gave myself over to it, like, well, maybe it's, I mean, we'll see what else a person like that can do, like, do they have anything to say? But is it so terrible that we all decide

that something is kind of a riot? Oh, it's wild because I think it's cool. Here's what's crazy, it's like, I watch people go on Kill Tony. Kill Tony is by far easily the biggest, biggest comedy event in comedy for a very long time. It's really blowing kids up. But I look at those kids that have been doing it

just once, they did stand up once, and they explode and people recognize them, and they get the Hak tua treatment, and I wanna say to them, just pull back a little bit and really develop the craft, and give yourself 10 years to fail. The hoctua girl's different. It is someone who never cared about this business. I just like that girl, and I identify with her,

because I do, because when I was in college, I had written up in Rolling Stone as the number one party animal, and my life changed. And so I root for her. But you had more than one funny line, though. Nope. I shit on Judd, I shipped on a pizza box to win an election.

I had never done stand-up, I tried stand-up after the article came out, and I liked it, and I was like, I moved to New York, and I thought it would just happen for me, and it didn't, it didn't. It took me, god, it fucking took me almost six months. Well, it's also, Well, it's also like, what is she willing to put into it

to actually have something to offer? Like you get an opportunity, but like, do you have any vision for yourself? I think that's the beauty of her is it's like, literally, it's like a Viking funeral. You're like just sending her out to sea going, does it light on fire? For me, I like to go deep, you know?

Like I, you know, mentored under Shannon, and it was always like, how deep can you go? How much can you reveal? You know, so it's a long form thing. At the same time, like I can like appreciate a six second thing. Like I used to do a joke on the stage about, you know, to my kids, you know, like,

to my kids, like Fainting Goats video is the same as Knocked Up. And the truth is like, it may be better. There's an argument that something is more innocent and it's better, but like I've been built like, no, we're trying to like touch you in your heart and be deep, but you are in a world where that stuff, if you just go, I wanna go home and just watch serial killer interrogations

for the next eight hours. My kids got into watching interrogations for a little while, like years ago. They're fascinated. My daughter Isla is obsessed with that. She wants to get into solving, she goes, I think I wanna be like someone who solves murders.

And I was like, maybe just cause the podcasts are interesting doesn't mean that life is the one you wanna live. Yeah, it could be hard. I mean, cause when I was a kid, if I was interested in something, cause I was like a nerdy kid, so I had all the Hollywood magazines and stuff.

But like when I wanted to know more about Jimi Hendrix dying, I remember just going to the library, getting out the microfiche of like his obituary. And like reading his obituary, then hunting down Lenny Bruce's obituary, and then trying to find every article ever in the New York Times about Lenny Bruce. So if when I was like 14, YouTube and all this stuff existed,

I don't think I would have ever left the house. I would have been so fascinated by the information and the entertainment of it. Because I was trying to create it myself. Like when I was a kid and I would interview comedians, when I was like 16, I went and interviewed Steve Allen and John Candy and Howard Stern. It's like I was hungering for the content that didn't exist.

Do you still have those interviews? Oh, yeah. Are they up? No, no. I should put some of them, some of them up. They're embarrassing because my voice is so high and it's such a New York accent. Really? So it's literally like me with Howard Stern going like, how did you first get into radio? Like, it's just, it's, I sound like Eric the actor. But yeah, I should put some of them.

I would love to hear those interviews. I want to talk, I want to hang on, gotta talk to you about Gary Shanley. Oh, let me tell you one Gary Shanley, adjacent story. Gary Shanley was a really good friend of Warren Beatty and had been in a bunch of his movies. So I was around him a couple of times. I just remember him saying, it's over. Movies are over. He's like all this

reality stuff. And this is before like TikTok. This is just like reality television, like the simple life, things like that. He's like, it's kind of more interesting. Like looking at real people. He's like, I's kind of more interesting. Like looking at real people. He's like, I don't know how you ultimately compete against it. You know, and it blew my mind, right? And he was fascinated by it.

Like, this is really gonna change everything for what we do. That's wild. Do you ever see the movie, what was American Made? What type of American Made? Do you ever see that movie? American Made. It was a documentary. Oh, about Made? Do you ever see that movie? American Made. It was a documentary.

Oh, about the plants. No, the filmmakers. Oh, American Movie. American Movie. Incredible. Chris Smith directed it. I remember, who did? Chris Smith directed it.

He's the best. This might be one of the most fascinating. I gave Louis Anderson. Mark Brichard, is that his name? Mark Brichard. And what was the other guy's name? His friend on the right, Mike. Yeah.

I did, I gave two movies to Louis Anderson before he died. This one and Made by Jon Favreau's made. Great movie made. It was fucking amazing. With Vince Vaughn and Diddy. And I didn't know how to get them back from his estate. It's like, hey, does he, I know he's dead. You can't get things back from an estate.

I was like, I know, but can't you just go through and grab my movies real quick? But what was that? Gary Shanling is one of my favorite in the world. I loved Gary Shanling. Did you meet Gary? No. No, I'm glad I didn't.

There's a lot of people I'm glad I didn't meet. Well, Gary, like some people would meet him and he'd be the nicest guy ever. And other times he would just be in a weird mood and they would feel very like, like iced by him. Just because he might just be strange and in his head. Like I don't think he meant to ever do that. Cause then other people like he'd be like this riot

to hang out with in the moment. Was he, cause he, he seemed like the guy that was like, like Norm MacDonald I always felt was always on. Was Gary that way? No, not at all. Really? No, not at all. Really? No, not at all. Because he was a real observer of people

and he was fascinated by like what your thing was. But when he wanted to be on, like when he went into the mode, just so crazy funny. Like Gary and Saget hanging out, doing filthy jokes back and forth. Like nothing funnier than that. Like when Gary was in the mood to do that.

But you know, he was a real artist. So I mean, a lot of the time when I was around him, he was deadly serious. Like, you know, we're writing the Emmy Awards and he really wants it to be good and he's gonna grind so hard to get it right. Like in a way that's like like he's making Oppenheimer. Like the level of care that he's putting into it

and how much pressure he's putting on himself is just so massive and insane. Because like when he hosted the Emmys, he didn't want to just host the Emmys, he wanted to reinvent the entire show. Gary Shanley and his career was like, I remember watching him as a kid in the 80s on Carson. And then all the way to like the Gary Shanley show was.

Yeah, that changed everything. I mean, Conan, was it Conan or it was, you know, some of the Simpsons writers said, they saw that show and said, oh, you can do this. Like, I didn't realize how much different television could be than what it is. That was everyone's pitch was, it's like the Gary Shanley show,

but it was crazy because things would get hot and you'd watch people go, it's like the Gary Shanley, and they're like, well, they already did that. And you're like, it still fucking worked really well. Yeah, and he would do shows that was a musical. I remember there was an episode of the, it's Gary Shandling's show where he had to leave town, and so then they still did the show,

but they were all replaced by like red buttons and old time comics, and the whole episode was just a different cast with all old time comedians. I'm bummed that the Friars Club doesn't exist anymore. Yeah. Because that was like the only thing when I first started is like, that seemed like the coolest thing in the world.

Who would we have though if we started, restarted the Friars Club? I think I'm the old guy now. I think also like the world was different that everyone was kind of, didn't travel as much and you know, they were all willing to ignore their kids. You know, so like things guys will hang out at the club and drink and get a shit. travel as much and they were all willing to ignore their kids. You know, so like, these guys will all hang out at a club

and drink and get a shritz. No, but they're cardiologists. Yeah. Mel Brooks is still alive. Yeah, I'm doing a documentary on him right now. Really? Yeah, he's 98. He's 98, what's the documentary?

It's just like a two-part HBO deep dive. Taking him out and filling him up with his bucket list of things, skydiving, horseback riding. Exactly, yeah. I just did like 10 hours at his house with him. For real? And it's just so funny. Really?

Like so funny, like couldn't be sharper. I said, Mel, you're always at these memorials giving speeches about all your friends who died. You're so good at it. I'm like, do me, I'm dead. What do you say? And then he went into like a five minute memorial speech of me.

Really? He's like, you know, Judd was fine. He was okay. He did what he did. I mean, like as funny as ever. Yeah. You know, when he wants to be. God, I never fucking realized.

I guess I'm the old guy in comedy now. Like I'm the fucking Mel Brooks of our generation. God, I should retire. There's people older than you. There's plenty of people. There has to be, right? Yeah. Oh yeah, Jeff Ross is.

You're younger than me. Yeah, but only about like two years. Yeah. There's comedians in there. I should have done more in my life, Judd. There's comedians in their 60s out there and 70s. I mean, it's pretty amazing that the people that are still out there and still good.

Gilbert's gone. Wait, who is older than me as comics? That's still working? Still touring. The generation of like Seinfeld and New York, they're all still working. And George Wallace is amazingly funny. And there's a lot of people

like late 60s, early 70s. Seinfeld's older than me, what the fuck am I talking about? Yeah, so you don't gotta worry about that. There's a bunch of people, I'm trying to kill my ego. I just see myself, that's all I see is me. Yeah. What are you gonna do about that? Judd.

This is the biggest conversation. I don't know if you know this, but when your kids leave, you spend a lot of time with one person. Yeah, and she tells you what's wrong with you. Oh, we sat in bed crisscross applesauce yesterday and was like, I have, the fact that I have, that I'm noticing it is good, apparently,

but I just, I have plans on becoming more empathetic, more grounded. How famous are you out in the world? Jen, I wish I wasn't the one answering this, because I don't know. But how much are people walking up to you out in the world? I walked to work today and three cars honked at me and everyone I walked past knew who I was.

I'm pretty, like right now I'm probably, it's interesting, I think I know I'm more famous than Tom, like way more famous than Tom. That's clear. Because we went to, and it also could have been where we were. But Tom has two different looks. Yeah, he has fat Tom.

If you combine both looks, he's probably more famous. I think he just looks like me. I'm so famous, we were. Are you guys meaning to look the same? I think we were in an elevator one time, and Tom never gets recognized, ever. I mean, especially when I'm with him, and this dude's like, holy shit,

and goes right up to Tom, he's like, dude, you're my fucking guy, I fucking love you. And Tom's like, thank you, and he's like, the machine, and Tom's like, even now? But it's like, we went to NASCAR, and I got recognized so much, he goes, he was like, I'm, he's like, this is wild. Like, I do get recognized a lot,

but also I have to be fair, I'm very loud, and my voice is distinct, and I, like, I am the person in Target that will go, Leann! Like I'm a loud person and I just, I cast a large wake. And you want it on some level. I don't not want it. But some people just have a look.

Like I was with Jim Carrey in the mall in New Jersey once during In Living Color. And we were at a bookstore and like someone recognized him and then someone else recognized him. And then slowly we felt the entire mall running towards the bookstore. This is before the thing took off. And because he's tall and he's Jim

and there were certain people, I know when Jonah got famous with Superbite, he said literally the next day, because he's also, you just notice him. And there are some people, I know when Jonah got famous with Superbite, he said literally the next day, because he's also, you just notice him, and there are some people I know, like they never ever get recognized. I get recognized, I get recognized. And by the way, I can almost tell you

where I'll get recognized. Like if I go to a dispensary, hardcore. If I go to any liquor store, like definitely, yeah, there's like, if I go to any liquor store, definitely, yeah, there's like, if I, anytime I go through security at the airport, I'm almost like, especially if I have weed on me, I'll make eye contact with the dude. But you like it.

Yeah, I like it. Nothing's anything wrong with liking it. I mean, you know, Sandler gets recognized more than anyone I've ever met. He's, yeah, well he's, yeah. It's like the president is coming to, and also everyone, and I'm sure it's the same with you Thinks it's okay to walk up like he's Adam. Yeah, he has no energy of

You're not allowed to say hi and he's old school. He's like You know you pay the bills you made this happen If you see a celebrity the best thing to do is be like like go Judd Fucking love you, dude. That's it, that's it. And that is not one celebrity will not like that. Just the second you go, this is the thing that I know turns Tommy off. I don't wanna be that guy, and Tom, I hear him say it,

then don't, then don't. I usually have people who don't think I'm worth stopping for but will say something nice without stopping. I get a lot of like, like your shit. Yep, that's it. And I'm like, that's all you want. That's all you want. It's just, dude, you're the fucking man.

And Judd, you are the fucking man. Thank you for doing this. I've had you now for fucking so much longer than I know you thought committed to, but you're the fucking man. And I appreciate it. I have to say this, and I have to say this, for everything you've made,

everything you've ever been a part of, everything you've touched has brought me so much joy. And all I can say is just thank you. You're a fucking awesome dude. Thank you, Barrett. Appreciate it. Happy to be here. And like I said, everyone, November 3rd,

all proceeds are donated to the American Red Cross for Hurricane Relief at the Variety Playhouse in Atlanta on Sunday. Beacon Theater is part of the New York Comedy Festival Saturday, November 9th. Go check them out. Is it just you? You bring out other people?

Surprise guests? Jeff Foxworthy is gonna be in Atlanta with me. No fucking way. And I have some cool guests at the Beacon in New York and then I'm gonna be at Largo next week on the 15th for Florida Hurricane. Nice. Thank you, Judd.

Thank you. Bert and Tom, Tom and Bert. One goes to the top, the other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep clean. Here's what we call, Two Bears, One Cave. you