2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Tom & Bert's Brutally Honest Odyssey Review | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Episode Date: August 10, 2026

SPONSORS: Don’t let your mind get in the way of a good time. Discover your options at https://BlueChew.com Shopify: Turns out you don’t need a real job. Build your own business with a free trialat http://shopify.com/bears Head to https://acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to get started. New DraftKings customers, sign up with code BEARS spend five bucks to get one hundred fifty in rewards within 14 days, includes all markets. Over at https://dkng.co/bears. For a limited time, our listeners get 50% off FOR LIFE, Free Shipping, AND 3 Free Gifts at Mars Men at http://Mengotomars.com. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back in the cave after eight weeks apart, and they open with a full review of The Odyssey, Lupita Nyong'o as Helen of Troy, Matt Damon's rogue Boston accent, and why Jon Bernthal is Hollywood's most legendary napper. From there, Bert unveils his billionaire rebrand (Sabah shoes, LBJ Stetsons, and the top five shoes billionaires wear this fall) before getting real about sobriety, anxiety attacks, and self-diagnosing 12 terminal illnesses in a single month. The Bears also spiral into the movies that blindsided them, Primal Fear, The Sixth Sense, Memento, Fight Club, and why the DIY hits like Obsession prove Hollywood is in another pivot moment. Plus: Project Hail Mary vs. the 15-hour audiobook, Bert's theory that this is the funniest (and most jacked) generation of comics ever, college football weight-room PRs, Jason Kelce showing up for a 9 AM bench session, and a meet & greet at MacDill Air Force Base August 14. If you missed the Bears, this one's for you. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 335 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Bet with DK Sportsbook: Gambling Problem? Call 1-800 GAMBLER, 1-800 MY RESET. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit http://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Predictions offer void in New York. Bet to get Bonus bets that expire in seven days. Trade to get Predictions Dollars that expire in one year. Fifty dollars in rewards issued every seven days via click to claim for fourteen days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Terms at http://dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:26 - The Bears Review The Odyssey 00:10:34 - Bears At MacDill Air Force Base 00:11:15 - Project Hail Mary & Bert's Cute Shoes 00:23:37 - Bert's Drinking Again 00:33:36 - Obsession & The New Hollywood Pivot 00:39:00 - The Best Twist Movies Ever 00:52:33 - Everyone's Got Abs 00:56:02 - College Weight Room Energy 01:00:44 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A hundred percent. Brand new two bears, one cave. After almost eight weeks apart, Tom and I are back. Back. And it is safe to say a lot has happened in those eight weeks for myself, which we will ignore at this point. Because I'm curious, Tom, I say I don't read comments, but I've been all in the comments. I can't help it. The internet is fucking divided.

And I would just like to hear it from you. just set the record straight. Have you seen The Odyssey? I have not. Here's the thing. I have attempted to. I was in London and then I

was in D.C. And I was, I had my show days and then I had off days. I tried to buy... You did shows in London? I did spots in London. I did shows in Baltimore and D.C. I saw that. Did you meet up with Tony Woods?

No. And they were like, he's here. I was like, great, send him back. Never came back. But in D.C., I tried buying tickets five days out, which I was like, that's plenty of time. Sold out. And I mean, I checked like four or five theaters in the area. Everything was sold out.

Let me tell you. The daytime shows was, yeah. I've seen it twice. Did you see an IMAX? I saw it in IMAX. I saw it in a regular movie theater. I have a lot of notes. You should let Nolan know.

I have access to Nolan. My buddy produced a movie. He produced The Odyssey? The Odyssey, yeah. And when you say I have access, are you thinking of maybe crafting an email and sending it to him? No, no, no, no, no. I have to say, I genuinely liked the movie.

Good. I genuinely liked the movie. Okay, now, here we go. Elliot Page, that's the big what everyone wants to know. Not distracting, in my opinion. I thought Elliot Page is, first of all, a great actor, always has been. Everything Elliot has done in Elliott's career has been fucking phenomenal. Great actor.

Such a great actor. You were bothered. I remember when the trailer came out came out, you were like, I cannot believe they have a black woman as Helen Detroit. How did you feel when you actually saw? I was outraged. You was this. I remember. I remember.

No, I got to, can I tell you, I think that's the best casting they've ever done? Really? And I'll tell you why. Yeah, I'll tell you why. Helen of Troy is such an important character in that, in that, in that story, that, and I don't mean to sound whatever, but if they, if they had just cast a regular white, yeah, it would have never stood out, never, you just would have been like, huh? I know. Whoever starred in anything with Adam Sandler, all those women.

Okay. It would have been like, oh, they're telling the Troy. Yeah, she'll be, we'll never hear from her again. You know, you needed a name. Now here's the thing. You needed a name. And the fact that it was Lupita and Lupita, I think, by the way, for the record, if I'm going black, that's the direction I'm going.

Again, she will be thrilled to hear this. By the way, I have access to Lupita. You have access to her? Have access to her. Do you have the same producer or somebody? Wait the same trainer. Yeah. And by the way, you could slip a note.

Dark, dark. Dark. Oh. Dark, dark? Are we describing her? Oh. I love dark. I love.

Oh my God, she is absolutely fucking gorgeous and gorgeous in that movie. And so kind of stands out in that cast that I kind of went, oh, that's Helen of Troy. I didn't go like, oh, Helen of Troy is black. Now listen, listen, I'm going to tell you something, okay? Very clearly. And I apologize if this is going to sound not woke. But I get distracted sometimes when I watch a little house on the prairie and they have a black doctor in the 1700s that I'm like, hold on. Are we not going to address the facts?

You out of the scene. Yeah. Are we kind of like when I watch the remake of Greece, they did on TV and they have just white kids and black kids at school together in the fucking 40s. And I'm like, hold on. Where's the fire hoses? Where's the German shepherds? Like I go like I get this. I do if it fucks with the story, I get caught up. I was, listen, I want to say this. And I was fucking famous for this. And I got shit fucking seven years ago, Tom. I got shit on for this. And I'm right. I also. Okay. And these are. Bad takes. These are not my greatest takes. But I would get distracted when they'd hire British, black people to play American black people.

It bothered me. It bothered you. Like Idris Elba? Yeah, Idris always plays like Edris, right? No, but I mean, like in The Wire, he was famous for, you know, he was, I didn't see that one. But no, but I didn't see the wire?

No, I didn't see. I saw bits and parts, but I didn't, it never, yeah. I didn't. It's whatever. He's gorgeous. He's great. He's great, right? Yeah.

Now, I got to tell you. Yeah. And I don't, I get he's an actor. You're allowed to do a couple, uh, regular American black roles. Yep. But I, I want you with the accent. I want you with the accent. Well, he nailed it in that.

He nailed it in, in the wire. That's the thing is most people didn't know it was a British actor at the time. Yeah. Oh, and so when you watch, when you watch the like, stringer bell. That's the character. And then Drewski did it. Yeah. Drusky did it.

And everyone was like, yeah, that is fucking egregious. And then I was like, I was like, I was like, I said this long. two bears and got lit up in the comments. And you also were like, we should, you said like, what was it? You said? You said like, we should flatten Palestine and everybody was like all up your ass. You said that, I remember. And then now there's a lot of people that agree

with you. Keep going. But my, but my point being is, uh, I don't mind, like when, I don't mind, I don't get distracted by crazy diversity casting. I do get upset when they didn't let Scarlett Johansson play a trans male. I was like, I was like, but she's an actress.

But then all of a sudden I'm like, yeah, but I need an American black to play an American black guy. Like I don't want to be like, all right. How does this track back to Helen and Troy? I liked her. Oh, you just liked her. I liked her. I liked her. Now, I know you have a comment on this.

What? How much were you just like licking your lips over Matt Damon's body for you into it? That feels like you really have a. I thought I was looking at a mirror. It was good. I look exactly like that. Yeah. Or like twins.

That's what I said. I liked Matt Damon. Can I tell you it also didn't distract me and I think this is a part of me growing up. The fact that they all had different white accents. Oh. No one had like usually when I watch a period piece like this, I need everyone to have the similar British accent. Yeah.

It's like when when fucking Brad Pitt was like, the guy the kid says when he played Achilles and he's like are you scared and then Brad Pitt who by the way pulls off I don't know it actually goes that is why they will never remember you you're like what accent is that but at least he was trying you know Matt Damon's got a straight up Boston accent in the movie in the movie he's got a hint of Boston hint of what is he's supposed to be doing British so he's like rode about you peckheads is he speaking in a British accent throughout No, he speaks regular MacDame.

Oh, just right. Okay. And then John Barrenthal, my favorite napper, he is regular John Barrenthal in this. Is it Barrenthall? Isn't it Bernthal? No, it's Barrenthol. It is? It's Bernthal.

Barrenthal. It's not Barrenthal. It's Barrenthal. You can't keep saying it's Barrenthal when we see that it's not. No, it's Barrenthal. John Barrenthal. It's not Bernthal. Wait, you're, we see.

what it is. John Bernthal got was he's doing some play or something with another guy from the bear and uh and I think it was like the odd couple or something and uh they and his guy called him napping and he posted it and I fucking put it in my stories and shout out to Johnny B. Yeah he fucking saw it. I tagged him in it and he saw it. He knows. He knows what it is. He got caught napping. He knows it. Respect game respects game. I think he probably looks at my acting and he's like he's like I wish I could get there. Yeah, your napping is legendary. Yeah. Look, he's napping all the time.

I got nothing against you if you nap. I feel like you probably do have something better to do than nap, but I'm sorry. Yeah, I don't trust people who take naps. Yeah, that's napping. He's straight up taking a nap. Yeah, he's a full, full blown napper. Anyway, the, but yeah, so the Odyssey was great. I say great.

Now listen, now hold on. And this is what I want to say to you. And I'm just putting this out there as, As something you guys can fight about in the comments or you can, or you're listening, you can argue with us in your head. Is it that no one goes to the movies? No. I feel like people are showing up for The Odyssey because it's like finally mom cooked a good dinner,

you know? Yes. I mean, this has been an amazing year for the box office. Like what we've seen is everybody was talking about movies are done, movies are done. And it was like, the only thing that was, doing well was franchises and like superhero stuff and everyone's like that's what the theater is for now was like kind of a bummer for a lot of people and so this is your this is your big ticket one that has really panned out like it was a 250 million dollar movie it's like over 700 million right now

and it's going to project it to do like 1.3 billion which is phenomenal. Let's just be clear. Their budget was like I think there's budget is like a billion dollars. It's a lot, but it's not a lot. a billion. It's like, dude, pull a fucking Harvey Cormack. What's the kid's name? Harvey Cormack who did Obsession?

Curry Barker? Harvey Barker? Curry Barker? Curry Barker? Who did obsession? That was made for $750,000. $750,000. And by the way, if I talk to a man to man, I'd nudge him and go, I caught the $750 a couple

times. Well, yeah. I mean, he did what he did what he did. I was like, I watched it. The movie's incredible. The kid's a fucking genius. Yeah. He's a comedy guy too. He's a comedy guy.

But like at a billion dollars, I nudged him. Oh, before we forget, before we're going to be at McDill Air Force Base. 13th, 4th, we're doing a meet and greet, August 14th at 11 a.m. at the MacDill Exchange. We're bottle signing. We're doing a meet and greet with our servicemen and women. Just to say hi, they say thank you. Just a, it's great to be in that environment. It's been super fun in the past.

So we're doing it again, McDill Air Force Base, and we will be at the exchange August 14th at 11 a.m. Burt and I together. And by the way, if McDill Air Force Base wants to throw in a workout, I'm ready to work out with the boys. Okay, good. That's good. I saw, I saw, I saw, I saw, um,

Project Hail Mary. Yeah, it's great. I thought it was great. I only saw, I only saw the first, and up until he meets Chunky or whatever. Chunky? I was on a plane.

Oh, it's great. By the way, I tried to read the book. The book, like, okay, obviously, if you wrote the book and you're watching our podcast, which I doubt very highly Andy Weir. Yeah. I just want to say that, like, I'm not a reader. Like, I tried to read the books.

Everyone said how great the book was. The movie did such a better job of cutting to the chase. It's great. I thought the movie, I was so surprised. I just heard everyone saying it was good, and I was like, all right, I was really impressed with it. I thought it was a part of movie. I'm halfway through. I'm going to watch The Rest Tonight. You will.

But, like, Leanne and I got the audiobooks, we were going to do a road trip. Yeah. And I was like, Project Hill Mary is really great. Four hours into the road trip, he still hasn't figured out who he is or what he's doing into the audiobook. And then Leanne looks, it's a 15-hour audiobook. We're like, we don't have time for this shit. You gave it four hours, though? We gave it four hours, and he's still like,

Two plus two. Uh, who are the dead people? Like, is it the same voice in the audiobook? One voice does it all? Yeah. It is. Okay. Well, it's only one person in the whole fucking movie.

Well, I don't know. I didn't know how it. I mean, there's more people in the movie, actually. Yeah, but, oh yeah, yeah. But technically, I also started, I read the book. Like a year ago, I started reading the book. Hold on. You did read the book?

I tried to read the book. I got like 50 pages in, and it's just one dude talking to himself. and I'm like, I can't just sit and listen to one dude talking to himself. Why? That's what you would do. Right. Don't think I didn't put myself in that movie about how fucking what I would do. Yeah. Fight Night is here and Draft Kings has you covered.

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Acorns Advisor, LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View, important disclosure at acorns.com slash bears. What kind of shoes do you have on? Ooh, thank you very much. These are Saba. Yeah. I told you I knew what they were. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

How do you know? So we got into a fight. We got into a fight, Leanne. Not a fight. Not a fight. An argument? We got into a disagreement. About?

I started wanting to wear billionaire shoes. Okay. Because I feel like, I feel like my wardrobe is arrested. Like my wardrobe is what I've mentioned this before, by the way. You've mentioned this several times that you think you dressed like a juvenile. I dress like a juvenile. I wear the same jeans, the same shirts. I wear the same hats.

I wear and I wear flip flops. By the way, the flip flops I have right now are the best flip flops. I got to give a shout out to these. Harry Mary, Harry Mary. Harry Marie. I don't know how to say them. I wish they had a different name. They're the best fucking flip-flops I've ever owned.

They're the Nekona flip-flops. And I have like eight pairs. I love them. But I can't wear flip-flops everywhere when I go out to eat and stuff. And so I bought these in Atlanta at the fourth. And Leanne was mocking them. Because she goes, you look like you're trying to be a rich guy. In those?

These are rich guys shoes. Are they? A hundred percent. I saw, this is how I know about them. I saw a, a thing online about Saba's and just that the people who have them, it has like a cult following. Like they keep them for like a decade.

They're comfortable as shit. They remind me of Tom's. I loved Tom's. Like great walk around shoes, right? Yeah, they're really comfortable. And I really enjoy them and they're nice leather. Yeah. And I bought them as a joke because I put them on and I flew home.

And then I walked into the house with them on yesterday. I just got home from Atlanta yesterday. And I walked home in knees and Leanne goes, George and Ila were like, I like, I like, I like, do not tell mom. And then Leanne's like, you bought those stupid things? You look like trying to be a rich guy? Yeah, well, because I went through this phase. We went to Naples.

Are they sweaty? Are they sweaty shoes? No, no, no. They're, I mean, they're absolutely perfect. Really? Okay, what was your phase you went through? Rich guy shoes. I went through phase.

I was at, we were in Naples and we were at a really nice resort for my birthday this past year. It's when I started using Minjaro. So the week I started using Minjaro. Can you hit the one that says, why are rich guys obsessed with the, and you far left? Oh, sorry, the one with shoes on it, I thought. Is it the same article? Oh, yeah, it is. Okay.

So I was, I went to dinner one night and I had Nike SB dunks on. Because that's the only shoe I had. Yeah. And I looked around, and there's a really nice resort. And I just kind of stuck out. And I was like, what's everyone else wearing? And everyone else had, like, it looked like the shoes you'd buy in a gift shop, right? Mm-hmm.

Like, you know, like how rich people kind of just shop at the resort they're in. Sure. And then they wear that. And I was like, well, shit, maybe I've got to step up my game. So I started looking. That's where I learned about ons. And now they're my favorite running shoe. Yeah, those are great.

So that's the number one billionaire rich shoe is the on. They like those. Okay. They wear, it's the one you're not supposed to tie. You just slide on every billionaire. Pull it up. Every billionaire wears Ons. Okay.

And I went into an Ons store after I learned this. And I was like, how are your shoes for, how are you running shoes? I do like running. And I ended up buying. I end up jogging in Ons. I love running in these shoes. And I got the carbon fiber plate, the cheat shoes. So I'm running crazy right now.

Springy forward. Let's not even talk about fitness and drinking. That is, that is a, that is a, that is a fucking. totally different podcast. Okay. But, but, um, I love running in these, but I learned about ons because billionaires,

type in billionaire on. Because that's their shoe, that's the shoe they wear. And then there's like a, there's top 10 shoes billionaires wear. And so I started looking at them. There's top five billionaire shoes worn. Let me see,

let me see, let me see. Oh my God, I think I saw this article. Oh, it's on TikTok. It's not an article. Yeah. Okay.

I love when I tell people I read a book and they're like, I saw that on TikTok also. Here he is. These are the top five shoes billionaires are wearing this fall. Number one, the Laura Piano Summer Walk. The billionaire's default setting, soft suede, hand-stitched, and silent on marble. You don't buy these to show off and buy them to disappear in the right crowd. Number two, the on-cloud fives.

When a yacht owner goes for a walk, there you go. Check billionaires and retired hedge-run guys, they're all rocking these. That's the one. Apparently is a power move. Number three, the Zania triple stitch. For the man who still takes calls on vacation, That's what I have on right now. Are you fucking serious?

Are you serious? Yeah. Next to the phone that never rings. Number four, the Todd's Camino Lofer. Every Italian billionaire wants a pair or five. Pebbled souls. See, I want to look like that guy. You want to look like him?

I want to do all that shit. Old money energy, polished leather. That's not you. No noise. The loafer is not you. It's a bloodline. So which one of these? You got the perfect, you transitioned from.

from SB Dunks to the Ons, which is great. And then you have your Sabas now. This is good. Yeah. So wait, is it more than just shoes? Are you trying to change your whole appearance? I have, I've actually, I've actually reassessed a lot of things in my life. Like you're talking like, you're like, look?

The hat seems pretty, you know, up elevated. Yeah, but I've always worn hats. This is. Yeah, but sometimes you were based. That looks more elevated than a baseball cap. Yeah, I bought. I bought a couple of the LBJ Stetsons. I watched a documentary on LBJ,

and he was kind of a fucking badass. Yeah. And he had a certain Stetson he wore, so I bought like all his Stetsons. And then, because you know, I kind of get into like a celebrity and then like an older celebrity,

like a historical figure, and then deep dive their shit. I've been, I mean, no one's going to like this conversation, but I kind of have gotten into, I'm not even going to say because it's so fucking arrogant. But yeah, like I think it's minimalist.

Like I'm trying to go more minimal for me to be more grounded. Okay. So like I'm not trying to go as fancy as I. I think I would buy fancy things like watches or somewhat jewelry to make me feel better about myself. And then I realize that doesn't make you feel better. You should feel better by yourself. This is all going through sobriety.

Sobriety really fucked me up. Are you drinking? No. And so no and yes. I mean, yes, like a regular person, but no like Bert. And so, okay. So I can have a couple glasses of champagne. I can have a glass of porosos. If I can't drink like I used to, it fucks me up. I don't know. But is that, but you're still on medication. I'm still a medication, but I don't know if that's it. Because everyone drinks on blood thinners. I didn't drink for seven months on blood thinners because I want to. the medicine to work and then at a certain point the doctor's like you know but blood cut's gone you know if you want to have a drink you can have a drink so i've been pushing through trying to get to drinking but i've also embraced not drinking a lot and and not drinking on like a monday night is like a crazy new thing really yeah yeah but you know you you know sober people die too like sober people die just as much as drunk people and you feel like it would suck to die sober

Well, no, it just, it's like I've had real anxiety about health. Okay, I'm unpacking a little bit and I'm not going to unpack a ton. So I didn't realize how traumatic the blood clot getting into my lungs and in my leg. And I didn't understand how traumatic that really was for me. I think I just got through it. And I launched, you know, free bird. I had the special launch, I think, or maybe I don't know. I feel like I had a lot going on over the last seven months.

And I also was focusing on not drinking or smoking weed. and then when all of that kind of calmed down, I dealt with the fact that I went through a really scary thing and I had faced mortality for the first time in my life. And then out of nowhere, this last month, I've had really crazy anxiety attacks. And crazy anxiety attacks without drinking are terrifying because you don't have an out.

Like you just got to deal with it and sit in them. and and I and I was angry I was angry at sobriety because I was like this is stupid if this is what sobriety is I'm fucking done like this is not what I signed up for if I'm like I'm not saying like sober sober but like not drinking 12 days and then maybe having a glass of champagne at dinner that's what I was doing and so wouldn't drink maybe 14 days and then have a couple of glasses of or like a beer at dinner And then Cotty called me and she was like, stop with all of this and just go back to drinking. Like just like, just go back to being regular. Like this is not.

Like Tom, I got so in the weeds that like Leanne could not. She was like, I can't talk about this anymore. Like I was like. At what point? This is seven months in? Oh, you mean so recently? Very recently. This last month.

Talking about you. just about anxiety and about and about health. Like I got really crazy about working out because when you're sober, and by the way, I'm not like sober, but for me it's sober, right? Like for anyone else, it's like regular for you. It's just regular, Tom. Yeah. But for me, it's very sober, drinking very minimally.

And my happy place became the gym. And my serotonin dump of working out became my joy. And when that would run out, I would be like, so then what's left in life? And if this is all you get is the best part of the day is at five in the morning, when you crush chest and tries, get on the treadmill, run four miles in 39 minutes because you're trying to beat your time. And then I got so neurotic about it. I was like, I don't know who I am.

I don't know what I'm doing. And also I was really stressed because we were shooting the show. And I wanted to be present for the show. and I wanted to be the best. I didn't want to get hammered during production, but I'll tell you what, I haven't gotten hammered for every production I've ever done. Yeah.

Every time, and I loved it. I was, I was like, everything was joyful. So, I don't know. I'm dealing with a lot. I'm trying to figure out, I'm trying to figure out like some sort of middle ground, but like I just, I can't. You mean, and you don't think the continued sobriety we're doing

is like just for how you feel about it is fine. So like I know it's not bad. I know it's good for me. So I'm doing it because I know it's not bad, but there has to be a middle ground. And I think I've gotten very teetotally where like when I'm in drinking mode, my favorite thing is spontaneity

and how life just kind of moves and is fluid and anything can happen. Yeah. And I go, oh, this is going to be a fun fucking day. We're getting after it. And then when I'm sober, I end up becoming very neurone. about alcohol. Like I end up going like like I look at it nice like and that's

what's exhausting like for Leanne to hear. Yeah because I go she's like let's let's get on have dinner and I go great and then they go can you get something to drink and Leanne's like I'll have you champagne she goes burnt and I go no you're talking the same stuff that like other people who go sober say it's exactly the same I definitely have a lot to work on internally so we're doubling up on therapy right now good to try to figure out what is going on with me because Because here's a deal. I will not quit drinking.

I want to drink. I know. I know, but I want, I like it. I like that life. I like a cold beer and I like a fucking tall vodka. And I like, I like champagne and I like, I like, I like, I like,

Tom Collins. And I like, I like, I love, I love it all. I know. I love it all. Yeah. This episode is sponsored by Bluechoo. And they're not just sponsoring the podcast. They're also backing your bedroom performance.

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check out. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them two bears, one cave sent you. But where my brain's at right now, it's like, it's not, I don't think my brain's super healthy. Lian wants me to go on meds. What, like

SSRIs? Yeah. You think that'd be bad? My anxiety is through the fucking roof. I mean, I can create. I had no joke. Within one month, I had 12, confirmed. confirmed deadly illnesses.

What? Oh, yeah. What are you talking about? I believed I had 12, no less than 12. Terminal diseases? Terminal diseases. In a month? In one month.

Yeah, that sounds exhausting to deal with. In one month, I had skin cancer twice. I had blood clots again. I got them every time. These are just in your head. In my head. I had a mini stroke. I had a heat stroke

I had a sty that was confirmed I have I've gone septic sepsis what's it called uh huh yeah I'm pretty pretty sure I've got some internal problems

I'm like but I would just Tom I mean get on those meds dude anyone that anyone that is can I tell you can I tell you what I say do what I didn't I wasn't like this when I was drinking I think this is the therapy is good and so is the potential meds. I will be drinking in Tampa. I know. I'm still Air Force Base. I will be and you will too.

I will. Yes, I will. And we will. Yeah. And I bet you out drink me. I'd love to say that'd be the first time ever. I would love to dabble with weed a little bit. But I'm terrified. I'm terrified with my brain. I can't trust my brain. Yeah. My brain is like this fucking asshole who did not, never has liked me, but he's stayed close to my family so he can fuck with me. Okay. So, Jesus Christ, I see what she's going through. Hey, let's get back to, can we just, I want to talk about movies. Harvey Cormack, yeah. Because I saw, go ahead. Have you seen an obsession? I have. I've seen it twice. I have? I have, yes. And I, I really like it. I really like it a lot. I, I think I mentioned

why one of the reasons I like it so much is that story wise one of the things you'll you always hear this when you talk to any writer you'll hear it from producers who are looking for movies and I think it's a great thing for somebody who's out there who's like I want to make a movie I want to is that this guys forget like the ups and downs and the twists and turns of it but the story is so clear so this is kind of a spoiler alert right so I'm giving you a spoiler alert, for those of you had not yet seen it. So don't get mad. But frame one of the film, frame one, you understand that this guy really likes this girl. He's rehearsing for what he wants to tell her. And you set up that, you know, his friend's like, dude, fucking this is embarrassing.

Like he's like, he's like, I, but I want to tell he wants to tell his friend. Basically, in the next couple scenes, you understand. that like everything is like how he feels about this girl. Then you're at a bar again. I already give you a spoiler alert. You're at a bar where he's with the girl and his friend and somebody else. And he's like nervous to be around her because he wants to tell her how he feels. Right.

And then this is probably like within the first 10 minutes of the film, the turning point of like why it's called obsession happens. And then you're on the ride. So just from like a storytelling point of view, everything is very clear. I think it's one of the reasons it's done well worldwide is that everybody can relate to this story. You like somebody a lot. And then the fact that like the hook is the hook of it is also very easy to understand.

A lot of times you watch movies and whether you're five, 10, 30 minutes into the movie, you're like, what is happening? What is the story? What's happening in this movie? And you can feel any way about this movie, but you can't feel like the story isn't clear. Like the clarity of the story is something to really think about when you want to tell stories. You understand what is happening from the minute this movie starts and you understand the ride you're on 10 minutes in. It's very clear.

That's one of the things about the movie that I think lends itself to its success. Of course, there's, it's a psychological twisted movie that like has all these, you know, twists and turns, I guess you could say that, that come from what happens. But it's very, very clear what you're watching. It's very, the story is very clear. It's shot beautifully. Beautifully. For that budget, too, it looks, it looks great, man.

It's shot beautifully and it is, the actors are really great. They're great. I think it was cast really well. It was cast very well. That young lady who plays the fucking... The girl. The main girl. I mean, there's a moment.

Big time spoiler alert. Sandra, close your ears. When she says, kill me. Yes. I was, it was like, whoa. Yeah, yeah. Why she's to sleep right now? Oh, my God.

That was fucking... It was great. Now, here's the question, okay? So like a blast off hit Everyone loved it I think in part also the young Generation likes it because they haven't You want your thing to rally around

Like you don't you don't want to like your parents movies You know you want your thing Yeah you want to have your own And this is their TikTok movie This guy's a TikTok star He did their thing It's the same thing as the other guy who did Iron Lung Like he did it

Iron Lung apparently Even Better Iron Lung Yeah it's just So there's three movies that came out. Back doors or something or trick doors, slap doors. Back doors. Back doors, iron lung.

Backroom? Is that the back rooms one? Back rooms, back rooms. Back rooms. Back rooms. Back rooms. What's it called? Backrooms casting couch, I think. Yeah, backrooms, right?

Backrooms casting couch. And that and Iron Lung. And those movies have done great because they've gathered. You know, a lot like Theo and David Spades did is they gather. a fan base that loves them already and gets them to the theaters. Yeah. I mean, I don't think

the backrooms guy had a huge YouTube following. I know that. That was a big YouTube for backrooms, yes. And this guy, Iron Lung guy, was a streamer and he had a huge follower. Was this, is Iron Lung the one where he had them follow along like his whole path

of making the movie? I don't think so. I think he did. I want to say he did. Yeah, so he previously played on his YouTube channel, stated that it would be self-written, self-financed, star himself, and he brought them along on that journey of like, I'm going to be making this movie. Now, here's my question. Tell me. What is a movie that you saw, that you knew nothing about, that you said, because I have a couple versions. I have the morons version

and then I have a version you haven't heard of and then I have the version you've heard of. Right? I don't know what you mean. Like a sleeper movie that was like came from out of nowhere. You watched and you sat up and you're like that's one of the greatest movies I've ever fucking seen.

Oh, Jesus. Because that's what everyone's saying that about this obsession. Well, yeah, I know what you mean that like this came out of no. Well, there was the one that was so crazy years ago where it was supposed to be handheld camera.

Oh, Salem Witch Trials. Yeah. Was that, was it called? Blair Witch. Blair Witch. Blair Witch was one where it was like, have you heard of this? Have you seen this?

Yeah, that was 99. For those of you that haven't seen it, it was like, the whole thing was like, it was supposed to be, like the audience feels like they're watching handheld. Found footage. Yeah, found footage. Exactly.

It was the first found footage movie, I think. I don't know, if that's true or not. but it was a it was a huge surprise success right it was can i can i come out and say that i thought the movie was i like when i watched it i was like there's one terrifying part but i was like it's i okay i said that i you said that i yeah yeah can i tell you a movie that's even better than that that i bet you haven't seen and i think is i walked out of a movie theater and i was like this is one of the greatest movies i've ever seen in my entire life what's that run lola run Oh, I've seen that.

How great is that? It's a great movie, yeah. It's great. Fucking incredible. There's also, what was the one, Hannah? That was, is that what it's called? Oh, is that about the little girl? Yeah.

Oh, Hannah was fucking awesome. That was great. I don't think that's, I don't know if that's, I guess it's kind of a sleeper when it came out. That was really good. But run the one runs great. Can I tell you the moron choice? Yeah. This is the greatest movie I've ever seen.

Okay. That as I say it, everyone's going to go, are you serious? Mm-hmm. The butterfly effect. That's your favorite movie? That movie fucked me up for like a week. I love time travel. I love Ashton Coucher.

Oh, I'm thinking of a different movie. Is that the one? The kid wrote it and directed it and self-financed it and got Ashton Coutcher because they were boys to do it. And I want to see what did the, The budget had to be low. But that was the one that came out and everyone was like, oh, this is going to be... 13 million.

Oh, that's not a low budget. In 04. Yeah, that's not that low. 17. I was thinking of something else with a similar name where the guys in a wheelchair the whole time. That's Butterfly Effect. No. That's Butterfly Effect.

No, no, he's in a wheelchair. He has no arms and no hands. Really? Yeah. He's, yeah. It's so good. And it's super depressing? No.

yes it is. I was thinking, there's something another one though where a guy's in a wheelchair. It's not, it wasn't a famous act. It wasn't Ashton Coucher. Look for their paralyzed movies.

So we go, go into movies, name movies that you saw, that you knew nothing about, that you sat down and you, and you witnessed and you went, holy shit.

Now, I'm going to tell you the first one I ever saw. I knew nothing about this movie. I knew nothing about this movie. I'm 11 years old. Maybe, maybe 12. The Karate Kid.

Oh, spies like us. I didn't know what that was going to. And I was up, fuck. You know which one fucked me up? My fucking friend was like, all he said is you got to go see this movie. And I like that when they're like, you don't know anything.

And I went to see primal fear. Oh, with Edward Norton? Yeah, and here's my fucking asshole friend, Steve did. He sits next to me. We're watching this whole movie. I don't know anything about the movie. and I'm into it. And then you know the big twist in this movie, right?

I mean, it's been... He's gay. No. The twist is that the Edward Norton character is playing like a moron, right? Yeah. And he's actually... The doctor. He's actually this sadistic psychopath who knows what he's doing.

And he's pretending to be dumb. It's such... Every one of those, Tom. Every one of those is the best. This guy does. He's, we're watching the movie. Steve got me to go to the movie. He's sitting next me.

He's already seen it. And I'm watching the movie. And as it's about to be revealed, he's like, dude, you're not even going to believe what's about to happen. I go, what the fuck are you doing? He's like, this is so fucking crazy what's about to happen. And I'm like, bro, you're taking the air out of this right now. So I get, I'm watching it.

And then instead of like discovering it, he's in my ear going, how fucking crazy is this? And I'm like, shut the fuck up. Wait, I've got the exact. I know I've told you this, but I'm going to say it again. This is my favorite movie going experience. I'm 26 years old and six cents comes out. Oh, that was another one. That was another one.

I go on a date to like 27th Street and like Park Avenue or something. I go on a date. It's a sold-out movie theater. So we're sitting next to people. And I'm sitting next to a black dude with dreadlocks. It's roughly my same age. and me and this black dude get that he's dead at the exact same moment.

Earlier than everyone else? No, no, no. No, we got it later, I think, ever than everyone else. Oh. So we got away later. But it started with the black guy goes, he's like, he's like, oh shit, oh shit, she's cheating on him. And I was like, she's cheating on him.

He's like, that's why shouldn't have his wedding ring on. He goes, wait, he doesn't have his wedding ring. on. I go, he's cheating on her. And he's like, no, no. His stomach, he's, oh my God. I go, wait, no. And he goes, I think. And I was like, is he, me and this black guy, I never met this guy. Yeah. We figured it out at the exact same moment. We shared that moment. And then we left the theater and we sat on the corner of the street breaking down the movie together. We had never met each other. We didn't know each other. We were both on dates. And then he said to me, what are you doing now? Do you want to keep talking about this? Go have a drink. And I was like, I would love that. And his girl was like,

you want to date and he was like oh i got to go man i got to go i remember the surprise it was again that was around the time too where people were like you just got to go see this movie i remember also not that this was like a sleeper hit but i didn't know what i was going to see with pulp fiction you know i mean it was just like people were like you got to go see this movie so the experience of like i don't know what this movie is it's what is this 93 i think yeah or 94 lived in the fraternity house. So yeah, I was just like, I mean, I'm whatever. I'm like 14 when this movie comes out.

Oh my God. And yeah, and I go to the theater. And I was just like, you know, you know what it is. But that experience of like, there's nothing like this was fucking amazing. Yeah, that was amazing. Usual suspects. Another one. Usual suspects.

What is the best? What is that called? Like, what is that like a reveal movie? Yeah, I mean, usually thrillers. You know, the thriller usually like that's under the idea of a thriller is that there will be some twist or turn. Yeah. I want to know the ones that were really bad where the, we're like halfway through. You're like, I'm pretty sure it's him.

Have you seen the prestige? Oh, that's another Christopher Nolan movie. It is. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. Yes. That's great.

I want to do the prestige in comedy. Like the Scalar brothers, they should do a prestige. What do you mean? I don't know. Okay. That's a great fucking movie. Okay. What is this?

The best twist ending movies? Yes. Oh, I love it. Oh, wait. American Beauty. Okay, keep going. Usual suspects. Memento.

I saw Memento in the movie theater. Yes. In the movie theater in L.A. knew nothing about it. And I was like, shut. What a great fucking movie. By the way, can I just say this? And I'm just putting this out there.

The average 22-year-old, the average person that went to obsession, hasn't seen any of these movies. You're probably right. At least a lot have not. Memento for everything said about what Christopher Nolan's done over the last 10 to 15 years. If you have never seen Memento, you're in for a treat, man. That is such a brilliant movie.

Whiplash is great. Fight Club. White Club. Dude, saw Fight Club, knew nothing about it. Saw that in the, in this, what is it, the Arama Dome? You know the one on Sunteramadome? Yeah. Saw it in the Cinerama Dome, knew nothing about it.

By the way, I just watched this the other day, a clip on something online, bombed in the box office, trashed by critics, and Brad Pitt, your boy, said to Edward Norton in cons, they're booing the greatest movie I've ever done. Really? And to this day, it made its money back on DVDs because the DVDs had all the extras. Here's one other thing I want to share. I saw this really brilliant documentary. I'm going to send it to you.

And it was called The Rise and Fall and the Rise and Fall of Hollywood. And I think everyone right now is like trying to figure out what's going on with Hollywood. People aren't showing up in the box office the way they did. Hollywood's always had this problem. And it started with television. This guy, this guy is documentary. I'm paraphrasing it. But before television, people went to the movie theater like three times a week.

Yeah. 90 million people were going to the movie theater every week. And then the second TV showed up, they just serialized all those stories. And then all of a sudden, 10 million people are going to movie. theater. So Hollywood said, let's put more money into our movies. They did that. Went great. All of a sudden, you know, fucking, and I'm paraphrasing again, VCRs show up and it fucking destroys Hollywood. But Hollywood pivots. They start making better. They start making sequels and big summer blockbusters. The first summer blockbuster was Jaws, where they put it

in theaters nation. It was a wide release. Yeah. They put a wide release on jaws so it was everywhere as opposed to they used to just put movies out there see what hit but Hollywood always pivots and i think hollywood is in a pivot moment right now and when you look at things like iron lung and you look at what david and and um theo vaughn did and when you look at what you and already did with uh with the storytellers yeah yeah yeah you're right people are getting their entertainment different like direct-to-market stuff is a huge thing i want to keep going through this list Reservoir dogs, Birdman. We got Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Wild Tales.

Oh, is that the Argentine one? Is that what Wild Tales is? Yes. Dude, this is great. What is it? I've never seen it. I'll watch it tonight. Six short movies in a movie that have great twists.

It's fucking great. I don't know. I know nothing. I won't tell you anymore. Wild tales. It's really good. Relato salvage. suggest everyone watching go watch wild tales yeah and we'll all watch it and we'll talk about it the

next time we come back keep going it's really good man yeah wild tales i'm watching it tonight it's really good um the imposter what's that what's that i remember this one i don't remember this one what's this i don't know i've seen that that's one to watch all right the imposter i i want to someone grab this list I'm going to go through and watch these. Can I tell you one of the best time tribal movies? Shutter Island. Holy shit, Shutter Island. Primal Fear.

Shout out to Steve. Primal Fear. Beautiful mind. Beautiful mind. That was a great one. Identity. Mr. Rivers, were they a kid or something, right? That's part of the story.

Seven. That was a mind fuck. That was an awesome experience. That was another one that I saw in theaters. It was at that age where it was like, yeah, let's go to the movies. And you go and you see that. and you're like, holy shit. That one was so fucked up.

That's such a fucked up ride, especially the first time you see that. You're not ready for it. Hold on. Don't look it up. Just see it. How about old boy? Yeah.

That's on the list too. Holy fuck. That was a crazy. Can I make an argument? And I want to plant this seed. So when I watch, Kiss me Deadly, The Departed was fucking great.

Yes. The departed was so great. Inception. I have not seen Inception. You've never seen Inception? I've never seen Inception. I might watch Inception tonight. You're definitely going to be like, the fuck is going on. For real?

It takes a few, I think, a few viewings to even wrap your... Will you send me... Will you... Zolo, will you send me this list? Yeah. This is crazy. Can I make... Can I put out an argument? Leanne and I were arguing over this today. Yeah. Okay. Now, I'm going to start with...

I think the reason there's so many comics, and by the way, so many very good comics, I mean, there are more good comics right now than there's ever been in history. There's people that I've never heard of that I see online that write great jokes, great jokes. And I think the reason there's so much great comedy is that comedy is way more accessible for everyone. I think people can watch great comedy, and when you watch great comedy, you can find your voice quicker. And I think my generation, and I'll incorporate you in that, and like the gym, Thornton, Bobby Kelly, me, you, Pete Correlli, Godfrey, you know, Joe Rogan, not Shane, not Tim. They're younger. They're too young. But I think our generation, we kind of came by comedy.

Like, it was almost like a real, like, lunch pale way to come by comedy. And I don't mean that, like, you know, but like you had to find your sense of humor through your friends. And you usually got your sense of humor like at a job or at or at a lunch table or watching movies with your boys and i think this generation and i'll include Shane McCusker who i think are just so wildly fucking hysterical but like that generation i think they're the top limit of it they were the first of the meme culture where comedy was on their phones at a young age and they could read comments at a young age and go through comment sections and laugh hysterically and kind of see how comedy was workshopped and done whereas my generation or joe's generation or or that older generation we didn't have that

like comedy is a weird thing like not everyone was funny when we were kids yeah you can see more people being funny you can see a lot of people being funny I know more people are funny and I would say more like I was thinking this generation of kids and I and like I said I think Shane's at the tail end of it I think he's like the very top of that that, that, but this generation of kids, and I was just judging it against my generation, everyone has abs. No one had abs when I was a kid. Where is this going?

Like, everyone has abs. Everyone's fucking funny. Everyone's got a full head of hair. Everyone. Everyone, like, you go in line, man. These kids are fucking crushing it. Whereas, like, my generation, we were a bunch of fucking slouches who, like, at times, we were very not funny.

Everyone's got abs, dude. I mean, that's the name of this episode. Everyone's got abs. Everyone's got fucking abs. I don't know about that. Do you know how hard did this get abs? Yeah, I've tried. Yeah.

It's impossible. It's hard. And everyone's got fucking abs. I don't think that's true. Do you see Little Wayne's abs? I saw Little Wayne's abs. But everyone's got abs. I mean, part of it said he weighs like 140 pounds, but yeah.

I fucking, I know. I, so far from abs. no. Not close to abs. I have abs if I lay in bed and I try to get up real slow. Yeah. You can see and you're in bed with me and the lighting's right. You can see abs.

You can see the, like, you're like, oh, they're there. On the outside. Not on the inside, on the outside. And then you get up and it's like they're gone. And they're gone. The second I stand, you cannot find them. Yeah. They're like fucking chupacabra.

They are not real. Maybe that's what this whole next year is about for you. See your abs. No. This whole next year is to find, my whole next year right now, is to is to find out find my middle ground there you go with fitness with drinking obsessive compulsiveness with anxiety with alcohol with marijuana okay yeah and cigars I mean I went I was smoking two cigars a day to zero cigars a day Jesus are you still

smoking cigars now or no I just brought a box over yeah I got I got cigars too um all right well look we got to run we will see you guys at McDill Air Force Base at the McDill Exchange, August 14. Cigars and alcohol. 11 a.m. And I'd love to work out with you guys in the morning if we can. If anyone at the Air Force Base wants to like a colonel or a sergeant or an admiral, wants to do like a crazy fucking circuit training with me, high intent.

I'd love to do that. I would love that shit. I got so fired up. Hold on. Let's just end on this. Can I tell you what got my dick hard as fuck? Sure. is as like a straight meathead.

Dude, two weeks ago was like first reporting back to camp with all the college kids going to fucking football camp, football, you know, like getting ready for the season. And they were all deadlifting in the gym where they're setting PRs and they're losing their fucking minds. Dude, I got into- Where were you? Everywhere. Oh.

Texas, A&M, Florida State, Florida. Oh, you're watching these. I was watching them online. Dude, I followed the Florida Strength Coach Because I watched him. I think he cleaned like 485 pounds or something. Like, dude, I got so fucking rocked off on these dudes. Just fucking the energy.

I saw a coach, a coach somewhere do incline dumbbells with 170s. Just easy peasy. Do you know what I'm talking about? No, no. Did you see Matt Liner do it? No. Type it real quick, real quick. I know we got to wrap this up.

Type in Matt Linerd's bench press. Tom, I got to tell you right now, all I want to do. Not Linerd. Matt Liner. All I want to do is go to those colleges when they PR. That's it. And just be a part of that energy. Okay.

Is this it? Okay. Yep. Okay. Okay. Matt Linerd. He's doing bench press. Okay.

And he's like, I go that. And they're like, dude, that's not how you do a bench. He's just going like halfway down. And then this guy's instructing him how to do it. Oh, I see. Okay. Yeah. All right, Dean.

Look at Matt Liner. Yeah, he wasn't going down the way. I got it. But yeah, dude, that energy at colleges, that's what I'm hoping McDill has for us. If they're like, yo, you want to come in and fucking PR your squat? PR a deadlift. I would, I just like that energy of that all guys in the gym. Everyone's wearing the same shit.

Music's blaring, smelling salts, chalk, and a bunch of fucking meathead energy. Do you know what I tell you? Jason Kelsey, when I did the bench press of 325, Jason Kelsey was said to me, he goes, what time? I said 9 o'clock. He goes, I'm there. I said what? And he goes, I love that shit.

Of course. And I didn't understand what he was talking about until I did it. But it was fun for me. Of course. Now I'm watching these videos going, dude. Look up on Instagram. Andre Boyd, 19. 1881, B-O-Y-D, Andre Boyd, 1981.

This is a coach. This is a grown man. Those are one-70s. Those are 170s? 170s. By the way, he didn't warm up because he's wearing a collared shirt. No, he's in his work clothes. Yes.

He's a big man. All right. Still. I can't think anything. It's catchphrase the same. There's an incline, by the way. Not flat. Inclined.

Okay. Oh, my God. Oh, I want that to be my alarm clock to wake up. Bro. Hey, that's the bell. We y'all win tomorrow. Holy shit, Tom. Yeah, he's just wrapping him out, dude.

That dude will throw you through a fucking wall, man. By the way, I got to tell you, I don't know if I could lift 170s up. Like with one hand? I don't know if I could lift 170 off the rack. That was impressive. It's like method man. Method man's fucking jacked. He's jacked.

He's doing fucking hundreds on incline. He's super jacked, yeah. It's inspiring. It's inspiring. All right. We're going to run. See at McDill, and we'll see you back here soon. Awesome.

That was great, man. Great episode. Fun episode. Hopefully Mountain Dew is happy. Oh, I think we have to shoot that just non-commercial. It's so funny. That ended up being so funny. I like the Saba's, dude.

I like them. I think they look good. I like them too. Yeah. Leanne just went to we're getting our puppy this weekend. Yeah. So Leanne went with the girls to get a RV and I'm wearing the Saba's all weekend. Fuck yeah, dude.

Yeah. All right. I'll talk to you later. Okay, buddy. All right, love you. Love you too. Bye. Bert and Tom.

Tom and Bert. One goes top of swall the other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories and birds the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean. Here's what we call. Two bears one cave. Thank you.