2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Tom Poops The Bucket, Bert Shit The Bed | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Episode Date: June 29, 2026

SPONSORS: Look for American Dew limited-time packaging or find it in stores near you at https://mountaindew.com Don't sleep on @‌ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code BEARS at https://takeultra.com! #UltraPouches #ad New DraftKings customers, sign up with code BEARS spend five bucks to get two hundred in rewards within 21 days. https://dkng.co/bears For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BEARS. Get up to 60% off at https://Babbel.com/BEARS Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer dig into the wild, unexpected Black audience response to Bad Thoughts Season 2, Tom debuting his "out of your control" philosophy on how comedy lands, and a hilarious accounting of which comedians did and didn't text Bert about his new show. Bert opens up about getting nastier and setting harder boundaries in sobriety, comparing himself to the A-Rod and Rafael Nadal documentaries, and Tom reveals his ongoing health investigation that involves shitting in a bucket for a lab test. The Bears also spiral into a debate on regional diets and genetics, plan a mushroom trip with an actual shaman, get Bert's dad on the phone to discuss his own legendary history of public accidents, and revisit boys' locker room culture versus Gen Z's aversion to male nudity. Plus: a Mountain Dew summer sizzle reel callout to fans, a celebration-of-life merch drop business plan for when they die, and the most detailed bowel movement breakdown the show has ever produced. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 332 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/tourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com In Partnership with DraftKings. The Crown Is Yours. Bet with DK Sportsbook: Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MY-RESET. New York: call 8778-HOPENY, text HOPENY. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://CCPG.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. Twenty one plus. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Bet to get Bonus bets that expire in seven days. Trade to get fifty dollars in Predictions Dollars that expire in one year, issued every seven days via click to claim for twenty-one days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Predictions offer void in New York. Ends July 19th. Terms at http://dkng.co/audio Chapters00:00:00 - Intro00:00:14 - Bad Thoughts' Black Fanbase00:07:28 - Mountain Dew Summer00:11:31 - Healthiest Guy at the Party00:16:33 - The Subconscious Mind & Nasty Bert00:26:17 - Setting Boundaries & the A-Rod Documentary00:30:25 - Black Graduations, Bert's Identity Crisis & the Rafa Nadal Doc00:40:43 - Merch Plans for When You Die00:46:12 - Mushroom Trip & The Gut Health Investigation00:52:10 - Bert Shit Himself in His Sleep00:55:58 - Locker Room Talk01:00:33 - Breeding Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

100% All right, welcome to another episode of Two Bears One K We're here at Studio Burt. And guess what I've decided to do? Celebrate the success of your hit show that only black people like. Isn't that crazy? Dude, it is dominating, like, online socials

with, like, black people only, and they don't know who I am. They're like, you've seen this wild shit with this crazy white dude? Dude, but it's so weird. How much don't you love that? Of course. Isn't that bizarre?

You would have, you absolutely, you don't make anything for anyone, and you absolutely did not make this show for black people, but the fact that they are responding such in droves is got to make you so excited. It's so excited because I see, my favorite is when they video the TV, so you don't see who it is. And then they're like, hey, man, they're like, look at this. crazy shit right here. You just hear them and they just laugh or they're like, I don't remember an old boy name. I'll look it up, but y'all got to watch this shit and they just play a clip from

the show. It's the best, dude. Yeah, you never, I think that's a perfect representation of what it is actually like to make. Like for people that don't know, when you make a show, a movie, a special, you literally do just throw it out there and you go, whoever responds, responds, whoever likes it doesn't like it is, it's out of your control. To see the outpouring, of black support for the show is so unexpected and so fun. I'm so thrilled. When you write a joke, you have no idea the feedback you're going to get. Like, there's no way Shane and Tony could have known that black people would be upset about that George Floyd and lynching joke.

There's no way they could have known that. They don't know. You never know. You never know what someone's going to say. Can you believe? I'm just saying it's still going on. They're still talking about the roast. And you are still, dude, you're, congrats on trending.

in the top 10 for as long as that series has. That is, isn't it crazy that you made it in less time with less preparation with technically a smaller staff and it's doing even better than the first season? Which is unheard of. Well, it's crazy that post for people that don't know, we made season one of bad thoughts, we shot it in October into the beginning of November

and then we debuted in May. So you have essentially like six months of post. this time we shot all of February into the beginning of March and we debuted in May. So we had two months of post. Really, really crazy schedule. And it's a huge credit to like our post team and our directors and producers that made it happen. It definitely wasn't because of me, but it was an insane schedule. I think it made, it inspired me to make things.

Really? Yeah, 100%. I mean, obviously we have a brand that we are very, very, proud of that we that I'm wearing full-flaced on my head but but I started thinking like dude you're so good at sketches you're so good at parody you're so good in acting as characters like you are the Eddie Murphy of our generation oh thanks thank Hercules I wonder if he'd like me to tell him that story hey Eddie you know what people say about me you're like what's that can you quantify, can you quantify the reception? Does it feel good? Yes, it's felt great. It's felt

great. I was like, I really do subscribe to that. It's out of your control idea. And what I've gotten from people is amazing. Always, and you'll relate to this, it's the same when you put out a special. It's great when you see, you know, people message you and stop you and talk about it. It's been happening to me for the last couple weeks. Yeah. But there is nothing like. comedians reaching out to you about your comedy you put out and what I've gotten from people is it it's like a comedian telling you that they liked what you did feels like 10,000 people telling you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah it feels amazing you actually told me I by the way I um yesterday we were talking on the phone about business stuff and you're like and I

said you know congrats I think this is the best season I this season for whatever reason had me laughing out loud harder than the first season. I think there was a lot of black shit. I think that's what I really respond to. I mean, you know, in the screening, when they just showed the plantation field, I laughed uncomfortably out loud. Oh, I could hear you. And there hadn't even been a joke yet.

There hadn't even been a joke yet. I know. And so, and half of those slaves were in the room. Me. They were in the room. And I was laughing and they were like, the funny part hasn't started, Bert. But I knew where it was. was going. Yeah, yeah. And so, but we were talking and you said, and I just want to, I just want to

be clear about this, Shane reached out and he told you how much he liked it. Yes, yes. And I thought that was really cool because I've known Shane longer than you have and arguably I'm closer with him and he never said a fucking word about my TV show. Wow. I know. I know. And actually, I didn't think about that until last night in the middle of the night. I got to up to piss and I was just and you know how just randomly a thought goes in your head and I was like yes I'm glad Shane liked Tom's show that's cool and then I was like wait he didn't reach out about my show and I was like yes not once did he even ignore and I actually talked to him when I was going into production he's like hey congrats on the new series it's going to be fun you know let me know

if he was like let me know if you need any acting tips and I was like okay wait are you serious He was like, I can coach you. I do coaching sessions or some shit. I forget what he said, but I was like, he's like, or the other dude, the guy who plays the boss. I was really, I was really impressed with your acting in both things that I, in the show. I never even got an offer to be in Wheels. Wheels is fucking, yeah, I know. You should, well, you should bring that up.

Maybe call them and bring it up. So, but I'm glad he liked your show. That's all that matters. Robert Kelly. Wow. Yeah, also did not reach out about my show. He said the nicest thing about it. Did Justin Timberlake did Justin?

Did Justin Timberlake reach out? He sent me a DM. Yeah. No, are you being serious? Yeah, he loved it. Are you being serious? That was my one flex. Oh, no, I was kidding.

He did not see us. J.T. hit me up. J.T. and J.B. They love the show? They love the show. J.T. loved it. He was like, it doesn't feel as good as a comedian, though. No, it feels better.

No. Does that mean, Shane just got into the business? JT's been in Mickey Mouse Club. I mean, Shane really kind of barely knows what he's doing. JT is JT. This Shane thing seems to like really... It bothers me so fucking much that I may have to reach out to him. He didn't even...

The Stephano was the first person that texted me, and the very first person, and I was like, wow, that was really cool. Because you don't see it from those guys. I didn't get a message from Bobby Kelly, but that tracks. And because I'm... I'm leaving out other people.

It was a bunch of a bunch of comedians. Who else fucking texted you, Tom? I feel like we should stop there. Okay. I feel like we should stop. There's other comedians. Can I tell you what I want to do? Yeah.

I want to take your skill set and I want to double down. Okay. With my favorite brand. My favorite brand. My favorite brand. And very seldomly can I say that? Yes. And mean it.

Mountain Dew. And it's summer. This one is not diet. Oh my God. This is the Mountain Dew. This is American Dew. Wow. This is incredible.

I can totally taste it. This is how much I drink Mountain Dew. I can taste when it's not diet or zero sugar. I've seen you, by the way, come up to my house with a 64 ounce cup of Mountain Dew. Dude, it's my favorite thing. The delivery system for a Mountain Dew is as equal as he as important as the Mountain Dew itself. What's the delivery system? A good looking cup.

If you have a good looking cup, fill with ice. And that's why this is what I'd like to do. And obviously, there's going to take a little work from the fans and from Tom. But you live by a lake. I will be near a lake. I remember the first Mountain Dew commercial I ever saw. And it was a dude. I watched it the other night.

It's not what I remember when your memory fades. It was a dude on a rope swing swinging into a lake, and he caught an eagle with his hand. Yeah. And it just, and it was so American to me. It turns out it was another rope. I thought it was an eagle as a child. You put eagle in there, though. I remember thinking like, oh, you got a fucking eagle.

Well, there's the thing is some things do hit different in the summer. Like, they just do. Mountain Dew, ice cream, like fresh fruit, you know, like watermelon, mango, chilled, like iced grapes. Certain things in the summer just hit different. And for, like, as long as I can remember, the best thing about, like, the best beverage summertime is now. My favorite thing, by the way, that I'm doing this summer, and it's like my favorite memory of just growing up and, like, as a young adult, is fishing, like going fishing in the summertime and going just hanging out with the boys, fishing, having a great time, sharing stories, having laughs. I'm taking my boys fishing.

That's what I'm most looking forward to this summer. I remember Mountain Dew had, they would grab the drink out of the river. It was like you'd see the drink come out of the ice cold river. Just, Mountain Dew. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to make a sizzle reel. We want this to be as bizarre and unique as Tom's show.

So we aren't going to write it ourselves. We're going to take submissions from our fans. From you guys. From you guys. Right now, all we need you to do is sending things you'd love to see in this sizzle as our fans. And then we will create the sizzle. Meaning. But tell us.

Tell us, though. Tell us like your most, like your wildest American summer story or tradition, whatever your idea is that's rooted in American summer, send that into us at two bears, one cave at gmail.com. The number two, the word bears, the number one, the word cave at gmail.com. Send those in. And then we will make our own memorable summertime, mountain dew, sizzle reel that we will play for you. Now, we want your ideas to be as fun and bizarre. And it's out there in a budgetary fashion. Don't say I need Elon Musk on a jet ski. That's not going to happen.

But we can probably get a jet ski. We can probably get girls in bikinis. We can probably get things that resonate as American summer to you. And then we will make that. And it will be like Homer Simpson's car. Do you remember when they gave Homer Simpson's a license to make his own car? And he was like, there should be a bubble here that feeds donuts. We want it to be that fun and bizarre.

All right. Perfect. Send it in and we'll make it. Can you grab me a diet one? These, I really do. I really genuinely drink Mountain Dew. You look great, by the way. I feel fantastic. Tom, can I say something?

Yeah. And I, you know, I don't know what our podcast is anymore. We don't fall into the influencer, like fitness influencer. I don't know if we fought. I mean, I feel like every comedy podcast right now is like a political morning show, you know? A lot of quotes you just did. So many air quotes. I don't know why I'm doing this.

But I feel like sometimes I just tell secrets, you know? Uh-huh. Yeah. I want to tell you about experience I had this weekend where I felt very proud. And I'm putting this out there for anyone listening. When you're in your 30s, like you're, what are you, you're, what are you 37, Tom? Exactly. Yeah, I turned 38 in a week.

When you're in your 30s and you hang out with parents. Uh-huh. only thing you can judge each other by status-wise is is job and money and how they're doing that way right and then at a certain age that all kind of disappears and then when you get in your 50s the currency is health right and I will say as someone who never had money like when we were young parents we never had like money and I we always went to someone a nicer's house than ours and I was always insecure about it and going like, God, how do they have this house? How do they have cars like this?

What does a post-supervisor even do for a living? Like all those questions I had. I went to a party this weekend. And I was the diamond. I was the princess bride. I was the debutante because at 53, I was in the best shape, Tom. There were dudes getting hip replacements, guys get with stints in, guys that all were like chasing money and chasing that dream, which I chased too, but I just could. It was, it was weird race.

But all of a sudden, I was like, they're like, God, you look great. And I was like, thanks. And then they're like, are you working out? I was like, yeah. And it's so crazy. And then I looked at my wife and I went, God, she really got a penny stock and shined it. Like, yeah, I mean, she could be married to the guy with the hip replacement or could be married to the guy that can't have to watch his, but instead she's got this beast of a savage that still brings it into the bedroom. Still brings it, yeah. I know. And, and like he's about to fucking go off the rails when he goes back to drinking.

Dude. Must be exciting for her, too. Be like, what's this animal going to do next? She got me listening to a book about, she was like, you're not doing any work. What do you mean? She goes, you're not doing any work. You're supposed to have figured out what you're going to do about drinking when you start drinking. And you haven't done anything.

because you're going to start drinking the way you drank before. And I think we all agree that that's not what we want out of this journey. So what's the book? You don't even know. It's an audio book and it's so horseshit. This woman is trying to tell everyone she had back pain and then she convinced her brain she didn't have back pain anymore and then she didn't have back pain. And I'm like,

not fucking real. And then she's like, the same thing happened to Howard Stern. And I was like, bullshit. And that you're supposed to apply this as like for drinking? Yeah, your conscious mind versus your subconscious mind. If I talk too loudly and it'll come up and start calling me out on it. But it's like your conscious mind versus your subconscious mind. And so, because like what I've noticed is that everyone, I fall into the category of all those social media influencers that monetize their sobriety. There's all those people that are like, they're like, they're like, Like the best medicine, vitamin D. The best protein of steak and eggs.

You don't need supplements like those guys. I've been sober for seven years. I haven't sucked a dick outside of, you know, those guys, they're all broken. They didn't really get sober. They just, they stopped drinking. But they're not, they're very fucked up people. All of them, almost all of them. If they're on Instagram and they're touting their sobriety and they're monetizing it

with some plan or some program or follow me, watch my workout. They're very, very, very broken people. Why don't you get into like methadone or something? Why don't you get into like Kratom or something? They've got, dude. Yeah. That's all I follow are dudes that are kicking Kratom. Kratom is not good, man.

Oh, I don't know about that. I think they were sponsors for a while. Yeah, I think you could take that on a ride and see where you go. I think it would help you in workouts. I think it would help you wind down. You took Kratom before, right? Yeah, it's fucking awesome. Dude, what does it feel?

It attaches the same opioid receptors. You know? Yeah. It's how you get off heroin. You should try it, dude. It's fucking cool. Don't worry, you already came up in a meeting. I came up in a meeting?

A therapy. About your DMT use. Oh, what'd they say? Not to do it. It wasn't good. Really? I was like, Tom does DMT because we were trying to talk about, like, maybe I should take mushrooms before I start drinking or maybe that's an interesting one time does DMT and then

someone's eyes lit up like DMT and they're like wow how many times is he done it so I was like I think five times and then like in his life I was like in a hotel room and Leanne's like what's the empty and I was like it's fucking cool dude I tried to downplay it I go it's like a psychedelic and the lady's like it's way more than a psychedelic yeah it's rad I'm a huge proponent how did you get what did you got the pen? The first time I had the raw real deal and it was sprinkled in weed and it was

like a certain level but it was also mixed with weed. The next time was the... Where did you do it when it was mixed with weed? Arizona. It was just like a retreat? Yeah, like I buy a campfire. Yeah.

You're being really like who were you with? Just a buddy of mine. Yeah, who loves it? And he brought it. And then he was like, try this. And I was like, oh, it was fun. Like it didn't feel that intense.

It didn't feel intense at all. And it felt like, oh, you also felt like the mix with the weed. But then the pen was just like, whatever. It's just the pure extract or however they, I don't, you know, I don't know how they make the pen. But that one got way, way more intense. So wait, because I'm curious. Okay.

I don't mean this as an insult. But I feel like my intense. would be more overwhelming than your intense. Your intense is like you saw an Asian dude in a couple numbers. No. My intense would be like I was turned into a frog. I would live as a frog for five years. It wasn't like that.

It wasn't, it was like at first like your entire vision changed completely. Like you lose all perception of vision? No, I just saw everything became a sketch, like a sketchbook. Everything was black and white. Everywhere you looked. Really? Everything. Yeah.

And that was kind of terrifying because of the, thought go through your mind that this is the permanent way you'll see things it was fucking terrifying the idea that i will only see sketch for the rest of my life bro and it wasn't like an idea of seeing sketch it was what i saw in front of me and everywhere it was nuts and that was that i was like oh my god so that was fucking really mind-numbing and then the next phase of it was just shelved thoughts coming in front of you trying to resolve your own issues. And did you relax into the sketch or did you?

I was so scared at the sketch, dude. I was so scared of the sketch that I closed my eyes and I was like, oh my God, that cannot be what's happening. And then I opened my eyes and it was all, everything was sketched. That was scary as shit. But that started to wane and then other ideas came to examine that that was more rewarding.

Yeah. But I haven't done it in a long time now. What was your takeaway? Did you have a takeaway? I feel like the takeaway that was just that. And also you should know that it doesn't last very long. How long? So that whole experience for me was like 15 minutes.

Oh, wow. Yeah. And then it's gone. And it's over. Just to be fair, 15 minutes on a salt bike feels like forever. Yeah, there's points where you're like, oh, my God. And then when it's over, you're like, that wasn't that long. you know, but I think it was really good to do some self-examination on.

It was rewarding in that sense. So the takeaway was just like, oh. What are you examining, though? I mean, it was, you know, I thought a lot about purpose of life. I thought about death. I thought about deaths of people, you know, like my dad, things like of that nature. And then, you know, processing grief, things of that. nature that like maybe you don't examine that often so you just it kind of forced you to to take like

the shelved thought and look at it and that that that I thought was rewarding I liked it yeah you know because it's something if you don't people have a tendency to shelve things they don't want to deal with that's why it's it's a value yeah I think I shelved stuff I don't want to deal with I've turned into a much nastier person now that I'm not drinking do you think so yeah less of a people Pleaser. I start being a little nastier on texts. I know that. You can ask people at your office about that. Yeah, no, I've heard. Yeah. Is your sleep score lower than you'd like on your whoop or your or Apple ring, watch, whatever the hell you wear? Do you currently have sleep aids that you're taking that are too strong and you feel like you want something healthier or need something healthier?

Sleep is such an important part of our lives and health. And getting good sleep is an absolute gain changer. I'm telling you, I watch the metrics on my whoop and good sleep makes the difference on whether or not my resting heart rate's good, with my HRV, with my V-O-2 max, all of it. It can be life-changing and can increase motivation, productivity, and overall well-being. But here's the thing. Mostly sleep solutions have terrible side effects. Melatonin gummies are way overdosed and don't work fast enough. Over-the-counter medications like sleep zizzazzukil or whatever it's called cause next day brain fog. You're not there for the entire day. And I built up tolerance to those. And I started to have to take more and more every time. That's why I recently started using ultra sleep pouches. These

are not the sleep pouches. These are the focus pouches, which work for me. My trainer brought them into our gym. I had to write. I put one in. And this was cleaner and better than coffee. And that's why I started using their new sleep pouches. And they've been a complete game changer. or I trust this company. The idea behind this is genius. Everyone uses pouches for increased focus and energy, but ultra took that idea and flipped it. These pouches are there to help you unwind,

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And July 19th, terms at dkng.com slash audio. And but you think that's related to sobriety? I think it's 100%. I feel like, I feel like when I was drinking, people looked at me and they were like, oh, just don't worry about Bert. He'll do it. He's fine.

get him a drink, you know, that kind of like, you know, whatever, like, it didn't take me serious. And then when I've been sober, I've noticed that that energy still permeates. Like, they pat me on the head. And I was like, hold on. There's no, there's no patting me on the head. I'll, I will decide. I will decide my path and my journey. And this is something you, you see everywhere?

I've been very short with a lot of people. And I very quickly, like I'll give you a perfect example. So we're going into, let me, I'm going to say the right way to do this. We're going into season two and someone said, you know, but I'm just flying in to do a show in Atlanta. I'm just flying in and then I fly back out and I'm moving some stuff into my apartment in Atlanta. And on the day of the show, and you know how kind of like, if you have a show and it's an arena, it's my last show of the tour. It's you kind of want it for your day. You want to focus on your show.

And the, the email was, they need you in the office to do some camera test for just like 30 minutes. And I went, no. And they were like, it's just going to be 30 minutes. And I went, yeah, no. And they're like, but I don't think you understand. And I was like, no, I do understand. And I'm not asking.

I'm telling it's no. And I think old birth, they would have been like, well, I have like a 12 pack of beer for you. You can come in. and I and I and I and I and I I'm a little quicker to be nastier than I've ever been in my life and I and I don't know if I like it I well do you have to be nasty or just be I feel like I feel like it's I feel like what it is Tom is pent up years of of me realizing this is the way they've always talked to me and and now I'm like oh no no no no no one talks to you like that no one no one talks to you sideways ever and it's and it's and it's and it's and it's I I respect that, I respect that like, that you hold a standard. I, I, I, I, not emulate that, but I would like to emulate that. Like, I hold a standard and this is my boundaries and I'm going to push back on boundaries.

You've always been like that. You fucking left your screening after 15 minutes. Like, and I loved that. I love that, Tom. Like, I, you know, because I, I, I'm starting to understand that a little bit. We went to, 15 minutes is an overstatement. I'm only to be fair to Tom, but we went to the screening of bad thoughts, and you went in, and you said hi to everyone, and you're like, I'm going to bounce. And I, and everyone was still there

drinking and partying. And I was like, I want to bounce. And you're like, leave. And I, but I would, was a people pleaser where I would stay until the last person left. Yeah, I think you also might be conflating, um, being nasty with just having boundaries and, and holding ground. I don't think that's nasty. You can, people can be nasty and you don't have to be harsh or rude, but like just having your own boundaries and saying no is not nasty, dude. Yeah. Like you're not being, I don't consider that to be bad behavior by just, I think you're on the right track, man. Well, it's so funny, we talked about this last time. Um, and, and, uh, and we, we didn't really go into it. And we were, I was wanting to talk to you about the A-Rod documentary because A-Rod is such an interesting,

guy. And I say this as if Arod's going to watch this and I know he's not. But like the documentary about him is absolutely fascinating because you deal, you're watching a child grow from like 17 to millionaire to the wealthiest played at paid athlete in major league baseball to a wild unruly narcissist and in in the bad way. like in the really bad way. Like a guy that really leverages his Hall of Fame opportunity to do steroids. Like he really did that and he made that choice. And then he goes into therapy with this guy and he starts to break down all the shit about who is A-Rod.

And even his kids are like, there's two people. There's dad and there's A-Rod. Yeah. And you relate to that? I did in a wild way. I related to him and Hulk Hogan in crazy ways. Yeah, that does seem like it's kind of on brand. But it's because.

But less of it now, right? A hundred percent less of it now. Like it's so funny. I relate to, can I tell you what I relate to the most? And this is going to sound crazy. Why? Black graduations. Hmm.

And why is that? So have you been watching? I mean, I've seen them before. I'm not like in the season right now. But you know, like, they graduate and then the girl does the dance. Mm-hmm. And then, I mean, like, the white people are outraged. And then black people are like, that's how we are.

Yeah. And I see both sides of the fence based on me. Like, I am 100% racist, but the kid. Oh, is that what you're going to say? No, it's not what I'm going to say. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Go ahead. You're 100%? The kid who dances and has their moment. And also, you're the white person that's like, hey, guys, pull your pants up and stop with the jibber jabber.

Is that what you're saying? Now I know why they love you. You talk to them real. I'm 100% the girl, or I say, because it's only girls I see doing it. Just give them a tip, all right? They're working for their, what's the other thing you do? Turn your fucking music down. I get it. I 100% am the girl who dances after graduation. And I also, and that's me.

That's Bert all the time. That's Bert. That's Bert. And then me sober, Bert, realizes that that bert is stealing everyone's sunshine. Right. Soberbert realizes that I'm making this about me when it's about us, that there is, as I'm dancing in the corner, and I only saw this because Kevin Hart's kid graduated high school and he ran up on stage and hit like a popper thing, right?

Like a thing that exploded. And he did it. And I don't know if exactly that was, but there's a kid who's name they're also announcing. Like they can't allot time for everyone to have a celebration. And they got to get through names. There's like 500 bucket names to go through. And they've got some crazy names, right?

Stop doing this. Is that what you're going to say? You're like, how do you even pronounce this? Quintavius? Go ahead. So I realize that I am both black people. I am the one dancing and then I'm the one whose kid is next, who you didn't hear their name because this one's dancing.

Got you. So like I, and so that's what I'm coming to is like this real thing. You know what's crazy about you is that in these several last several months? All of your insights and self-reflection and and observations about self-in-sobriety are all so fucking incredible and you still are like and no one will tell me not to drink every marker

that is possible in your life to observe and note is a thousand times better and you're just like I'm fucking drinking you're like my health is better my thoughts are better my sleep is better I'm physically better

I have more insight about myself I'm a better person I set boundaries I will fucking drink as much as I want I'm sprinting back to the old me. I know, you're so funny, dude. That's so funny. It's fascinating to watch. You should watch this Arod documentary.

I started the Rafa one. I just started the Rafa one. Rafa one's really fucking interesting. Dude, can I tell you what's crazy? As I remember him, I think it was in the French Open in 2004, because we had just had Georgia. And I was playing tennis all the time. And I was watching him.

And he was up. He was usurping, I think that's the right word, Roger Federer, around that time, 2006, 2004. And I was like, I remember going, wait, wait, Roger Federer's getting old. Like Roger Federer and now Rafa's getting old and you're like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, I don't think in 2004 Federer was old, though. No, but he was, but Rafa was better than, he was the young gun taking down, taking down Federer. Yeah, it's a fascinating. It's so cool, dude.

I mean, that guy's, he's unbelievable. I just started it. Do they talk about his OCD? I mean, I'm only into the first episode. So I don't know if it gets into the OCD. Obviously, like, they're talking, they do a lot of, like, flashback to how he came up and, like, just his level of, like, the injuries he's dealt with

and just how discipline the guy is and obsessed he is with the sport. It's very cool. He would, when he was playing, he would get, to the sidelines and he'd take his water bottle and he'd turn it like this and he'd open it and he'd turn it like this and he was he was i was because i'm a little obsessive compulsive i identified it with him when he was when i'd watch him play in wimbled in and the french open i used to love playing tennis i used to fucking love watching tennis when you i knew i i knew you hozed me you sandbagged me on that fucking tennis thing oh i remember the first time i caught my reflection and realized i was

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special limited time deal for our listeners right now get up to 60% off your babble subscription at babble.com forward slash bears get up to 60% off at babble.com forward slash bears spelled b a bbb bell.com forward slash bears rules and restrictions may apply. This is the best vodka in the world. You're talking to a man has put 10,000 hours into a couple things eating pussy and drinking vodka. I'll bring my wife and if you want I'm pretty good at the first one too but this is better than pussy. This is the best vodka you're ever going to have. It's clean. I sleep court. My sleep scores through the roof because of it. It tastes clean. Everyone I've given it to loves this vodka. Tom, tell them. It's absolutely

fantastic. We have a proprietary distillation process. And listen, we are winning competitions. We have gold medals in various competitions. And honestly, you, the people, are the ones telling us how great it is, too. This is not just smoke that we're blowing here. We're telling you because you're telling us, this is now your favorite vodka. So thank you. And if you haven't tried porosos, get out to the store. If they don't carry it, tell them you want them to carry it. Tell them, request it. When you go to the bar, you say, hey, do you carry porosos? And if they say no,

you go, you should. It's pretty freaking awesome. And then walk out. You know what I do? I go, do you carry porosos? And they say, no, I bring out a bottle and give it to them. I go, now you do. Can I get a bottle of glass of porosos? That's awesome. That's awesome. You're like, I don't know. I think when I was a kid, I played. Fucking liar. Go ahead.

Dude, I fucking Rafa's a badass. Dude, I'll tell you what. Did you see the Vinny Jones documentary on Netflix? We don't have a deal with that. We do have deals with Netflix. But the Vinny Jones show on Netflix is insane. No, I want to do. I saw the little teaser.

I want to see it. Do you think you have any plans on making a documentary on Thompson Girl when you die? When I die? Yeah, well, I mean, no one wants to see it when you're alive. That's called Torgasm. Well, what do I do? Just be like, hey, when I die, make sure you do a thing about me? No.

You have to do it. I'll do it. Oh, you'll do it when I'm dying? No, when you're dead. Oh, so, I mean, I think it's too late. It would be too late. Oh, you need to have it ready for the day you die. Well, I just think that like, I mean, assuming I, what, let's say I die at 71, right?

It's like it's too far removed from like any significance. You'd have to do it in like the next 10 years. Yeah. So I guess maybe you could hope I die then. Can I tell you, I've been thinking about doing a merge drop for the day I die? and my buddy died and they did a merch drop and he moved so much

fucking merch. Who? My buddy, Jeff Mercer, we went to his Mercer Fest. It was a celebration of life. By the way, celebration of life is not as fun as it sounds. It's not? I thought it was going to be a lot more enjoyable and it was a little very emotional. And he was just, he was a great guy.

He was a great guy who, all he did was serve others. That's it. He was a great guy. And by the way, can I tell you what I loved, I shouldn't say this out loud. The thing I liked most about him is that he liked me. Like when- That's a cool, yeah. When not a lot of-

You know who does that a lot is Trump says that a lot. He'll be like, he likes me, I like him. He doesn't like me? Fuck him. He liked me when no one liked me. Like when I first started dating Leanne, no one liked me out of that friend group. And he did. He was like, he got a kick out of me.

And not a lot of people liked me. He had merch set to drop? It was fucking brilliant. He did a celebration of life. There was probably 700 people showed up. 700 people. Dude, for a celebration of life, I wish he got to see how many people came to his celebration of life.

700 people. It was packed. Packed. That's how much he affected people. 700 people showed up. And they had Mercer Fess shirts. I couldn't. The line was so long to get them, Tom.

he must have moved at least 700 shirts. We're talking a trip to, that's like a trip to Hawaii. That's fucking awesome. Would you do, because I think a funny one for you would be a shirt where there's like an empty like carafe of Kool-Aid and they have the X's over your eyes and your tongue out. So it's like like that, you know? Yeah. But like and then your body's limp and there's like a drop, one last drop coming out of the jar.

That'd be a fun, you know? Yeah, will you drop you, will you do a merch drop when I die and then give Leanne? And I think because I was, because I was saying to Leanne, I was like, what do you do with when you do a merch drop? Like, what do you do with that money? I mean, I guess ultimately, you know, you pay bills, but ultimately you really should if you can do something fun. And by the way, everyone should do a merch drop when they die. Because you have friends and family who are going to want to remember you and going to want to remember you and going to want to get shirts and be like, you know, I'll wear this and it reminds me that I'm still alive

and I need to work out and I need to get my shit together and, you know, and then you have that extra money and just put it aside for a trip to Hawaii to like take some time off, you know? Yeah, yeah, I like that. That's a really good idea. Yeah. Can I take a cut? I mean, I'm as to do the design, the production, you know, can I just like, no, just take it. Leanne's not going to do the books. Just take it off the top. Okay. But just we have an agreement. agreement. But I can skim, right? But we're Leanne and I were talking about. She's like, oh wow, $1,100. I'm like, yeah, it was fucking really expensive to make it.

We just have Heather call Leanne. Lian loves Heather. Yeah, cool. Heather will be like, hey, we got a MERS drop money for you and Leanne won't question it. She'll be like, oh, okay, thanks, Heather. Just then mo it. Um, the, Leanne was talking about what if, because, you know, we go to the celebration of life and we got really emotional. He was such a great guy. He was like a principal of a school.

He was like, he was just a great fucking guy. And I, Leanne and his wife, Noel, who we've known for, you know, 25 years, was, she was really strong. And, you know, we were crying. And then she started crying. And she was like, I wasn't supposed to cry today. And we're like, we got to get the fuck out of here.

And then Leanne was like, was like, if I died, would you have a celebration of life for me? And I said, yeah, and she goes, no one would show up. I go, people would show up. She goes, you think? And I said, yeah. She goes, would you be as strong as Noel? And I was like, no. I'd be walking around going, you're fatter than her.

Why are you dead? She never fucking liked you. Get the fuck out of here. That would be mean, Burt. I would be so miserably fucking toxic. Well, hopefully you'd be under the influence, a little nicer. I would be I would be like fentanyl

yeah dude yeah I would be there for that I would love to see that part oh you know you'd have to fucking you by the way I think you should do the mushrooms uh we have a friend we have a mutual friend who we talked to on the phone the other day and I said send them to me and I'm waiting

for them and I'm going to do them you should definitely do it I'm excited I I'm not going to do like a the child's dose I'm going to do like a hero's dose. Oh, go for it. Yeah. It's not that crazy. It's not that crazy. And I'm going to just do double of a microdose just to go like start. And then I'm going to ride it out. But I, but I, you know what I need, Tom?

I need like a shama. Shama. Shama. Shama. Shaman? What do they call? Yeah, shaman. I need a shaman. You can get that in L.A.? Tom. Tom. We should do it two bears where we eat mushrooms and have a shaman guide us. I'm down. 100% down. That would be fun as fuck. I have a thousand percent down. Are you?

Yes. A thousand percent, yes. And then we'll do DMT also. No, we're not doing DMT. Why, dude? No, we're not doing DMT. Hey. Who was I talking to the other day?

They're like, I wish everything performed like ecstasy. And they're like, someone was telling me, they were like, you know, every time you take mushrooms, there's always like that first 30 minutes. You're like, God damn. and I hope this is fun. They're like, you never have that on ecstasy. You're always like, this is fucking awesome.

I think we should all be on ecstasy all the time. I would love to try ecstasy with me, you, Leanne, and Push. Well, yeah, and then you get that serotonin dump. This is the fucking, you know, the love drug. I never noticed the hangover the next day on ecstasy when I was in college. But man, the last time I did ecstasy, I was in a spiral. Really?

For like three days. Afterwards? Yeah. Probably from the depletion. Yeah. I didn't realize how much the depletion was. And I was sober. Yeah, that can really throw you off.

They could really throw you off. Yeah, I think you're supposed to take something after that to... Roll on, roll off, remember? Yeah, yeah. So I didn't tell you from the very beginning, guess what I'm doing? I don't know. What? I've decided to examine what's going on in my guts.

So I have to shit into a bucket and then scoop that shit into little vials and drop it off at a lab. And I have to refrigerate some. I have to put some in the freezer and some are room temperature. And then I'm going to give it to a lab

and they're going to tell me why I shit the way I shit. Wait, how are you shitting now? Well, it's just so unpredictable and nothing makes sense to me. So I'd like to you to guess, you should guess what the, it's going to like reveal because like I could eat like chicken and rice and a banana and just have like a crazy shit and then have like a cheeseburger and have a normal shit. Like none of it makes any sense to me. Wait, do you ever eat like like sometimes I'll eat like a marker meaning like a jalapeno just to track where where my stomach is?

No. Oh, I do that all the time. Eat a jalapeno. What would that do? And you know where you know what's before and after it. Oh, I see what you mean. So if you eat a jalapeno, then you know, like I'll eat a jalapeno and then won't eat anything. And then when I feel the fucking fire shoot out of my ass, I go and there's nothing in front of that. Wow. No, I definitely have something going on. But I'm wondering like, do I have Crohn's disease? Okay, hang on. Okay. How often, like, so tour buses, fucked up my shit in that because in a tour and I live in my tour bus but you can't just shit in the morning you gotta get up and go shit and sometimes if your day starts early you have to swallow your shit

meaning hold on to it and then you ride it out until later in the day and then sometimes you break up your shits in two and you have a little one in the morning and a little one at night I used to be just one big one in the morning and that was it now what is your and right now I'm like

usually I'm a little one in the morning, a little, or like a medium one in the morning, a medium one at night. And so, but what is your shits like? Like, once a day? No, I would say I'm good. I'm, I'm usually twice a day. I'm usually twice a day. Evening and morning? Yeah, always in the morning. And then the rest of the day, I could have an afternoon and an evening or I could have just one other. But I think I'm good for twice a day usually. Okay. Okay. And then, and. There's no consistent. to it. Now, hang on.

The second you feel a shit coming on. Yeah. What is the percentage of, of its touching lips, I'm touching toilet? What is the percentage? Like, meaning like this morning, I'll give you a perfect example. This morning, I sat up in bed and I was like, I, or actually, I went to the bathroom to go take a shit. And Leanne came in to talk to me.

And I was like, I'm not going to shit right now. I'm going to get up and I'm going to sit in the bed. I'm going to stop what I'm doing. and I'm going to listen to her. And then I went back to shit and I shit afterwards. But I wish I had just gotten up and shit right away. Like the second I feel I got a shit, I want to go shit immediately. Yeah, I try to do that.

I try to do that. But sometimes I, you know, depending on the circumstances, sometimes you end up holding it more than you want to. Yeah. But I would say most of the time I'm like, I got a shit. I got to go. Okay. So what is the, are you worried about the representation of what you eat and what your shit looks like?

and they're not the same? Well, no, I'm worried that, like, I'm like, I have too many wild shits that are not, you love that? I'd love that. What do you mean? I shit my pants in bed and I slept through it the other day. What?

Yeah, I know. How? I thought it was a fart. How much shit was there? Enough that was all my cheeks and I worked out in it. And then I took a shower the next morning and I was like, what is that? and I thought it was like lube or something

and then loob and I was like literally I was like what is that that's crazy I didn't even think anything of it and then I took the towel and I took the towel and I took the towel and there was shit on both cheeks and I was like oh wow I shit my pants last night and then I looked at the pants I was like no idea and Leanne came in my room and she was like it smells like

balls in here and I said to her I go it's not balls I shit my pants in the middle of the night and were the sheets covered in shit no just to my pants wow but it was just you know like probably more more of an amount of shit than you'd want to sleep in, but not enough to wake me up.

It just reminds me. I remember one time my dad, he farted in bed watching TV, shit shot out of him onto the comforter, and then he flipped the comforter over. And I was like, are you going to just sleep like that? He was like, it's just a little bit of shit. See?

And I go, that's insane. There's shit on your bed. Can I tell you there's, I grew up with a dad who shit himself all the time. My dad shit himself. Yeah, he would, we would get a phone call and be like, hey, I need help. I'm at a 7-Eleven. I need you to pick me up. He did shit all over himself.

Holy cow. We would find him in Orange Grove where he had shit himself and he'd run out of the Orange Grove covered in shit. I mean, he shit himself so much. I'm going to call my dad. I guarantee you, if I said, dad, how many times do you think you shit your pants? He's going to say over a thousand. A thousand?

I have to be. Hold on one second. I mean, my dad, and so I grew up in a household where shitting your pants was 100% normal. Does he have any, like, digestive issues then? He's still alive. Hey, dad. Just give me a record. You're on the podcast with me and Tom. That's very nice to know.

Okay. And we're talking about shitting yourself. Now, I said that I grew up with a father who shit himself fairly commonly. If you had to ballpark. Thanks a lot, but I'm glad. I'm glad you don't listen to your podcast. If you had to say a number, how many times you think you've shit yourself? What do you think that number would be?

Two or less. Dad, shut up. Dad, how many times do you think you've shit yourself? No, you mean running? Any, dad, any shitting yourself count. Maybe three times. Dad, bullshit. How many times did you hide in an orange grove because you shit yourself?

When I said running. How many times have you shit yourself? Just in New York City alone. Oh, never in New York. That bullshit. You didn't leave the hotel because you were shitting yourself. You know, I did have it depends on, bud. What character are you doing right now?

How many times have you shit yourself? I think this conversation's ending. I think you should call Tom's mother. Does he have any digestive issues? Do you have any digestive issues? Oh, none. Do you take any medicine? I'm perfectly healthy.

Do you take, Tom's having shitting issues. And so he's going to take, he's going in to get all his shit examined. Oh, I never did that. Maybe give it a shot. Jesus Christ. I mean, no, I ain't what his results are.

I will, I will. All right, I love you. I'll talk to you later. I love you too. Bye-bye. He has shit himself easily 2,000 times. You spent from 1 to 2,000. Dude, I can't tell you how often it's happened.

He shit himself as a child. there's two things that like my assistant Kyle is not comfortable with male nudity neither was my other assistant Peter but like I grew up in locker rooms. The naked shit covered day. My dad

walked around naked. I saw my dad naked and I saw other men naked like you go into a locker room and men would be naked and no one was like hey does this bother you you they just and if you had a problem with it you were gay right and so

Yeah, yeah, man. They're like, what are you gay? Why can't you look at my dick? And you're like, I don't know. Why don't you open your mouth, pretty boy? Yeah. I remember going to high school and being like, them being like, take your clothes off. And we were in ninth grade.

And then get in the shower with 180 other dudes. And you're like, maybe not that man. Maybe like 50. But you're like, and you went in with dudes that were seniors. They were 18 years old. They could vote and go into the military. I was 13. 14, 14.

And big dicks. Big swinging dicks. I remember trying to get my dick just a little hard to go in there so that it didn't look small. Yeah, yeah. You tug it a little bit, smack it around. But like boys these days, like Kyle, my assistant, my old assistant, Pete, if they even see you in their underwear, they're like, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? Really? Oh, my God.

I have to say, hey, I'm getting naked in my room so that they don't walk in on accident. Yeah. Who said it? What did any say? And he said that's not weird. What? Seeing a guy's dick? No, he likes the other way.

He likes guys being like, give me a warning. Whatever. I don't want to salivate when I see it. He's very like. Yeah, I think that's gay. I think the fact that these boys can't be around dudes who shit themselves. He also doesn't like to see guys kiss or like he's always, he's weird, man. It's so fucked up, dude.

I love watching dudes kiss. I mean. Me too. I'm also you don't like talking about dicks yeah like who's got a nice piece on them oh i mean can i tell you that's my favorite subject yeah mine too man when i think of p davidson's body of work i just think of his dick yeah famous dicks they're fun to talk about i'm blown away that this generation can't just be naked dude we didn't have there was a period of time in our fraternity house, we didn't have doors up on the toilets. You had to shit next to a dude on a toilet,

like you were sitting at the airport waiting for a flight. That's rad. I remember in ninth grade going to a friend's house and them just taking a shit with the door open and being like, this is normal. This is what life is. Yeah. And like the showering, I remember like, oh man, like the guys who had like thigh slappers, we're like, whoa. We're in high school. I remember... Crazy. I remember being a freshman and one of the dudes

is like, is the water warm enough for you? And I was like, yeah. And he was like, are you sure? And everyone was laughing. And I was like, yeah, it's fine. And he's like, really? And it's like two dudes

pissing on me. And I was like, oh, cool. Oh, this is fun. Yeah. It's fun. I'm getting pissed on. I got you. Now that I say that it's a little more traumatic,

it sounds a little more traumatic. It's a little bit more traumatic. It's a little bit. That sounds a little traumatizing. I have two, 18-year-old's pissing on me. It's crazy, dude. That's crazy. It's so fucking bad.

Dude, do you remember a swirly? No. Did you ever have a guy jack off in the shower with you? Yes. Yeah. But a joke jack off. Like a joke jack, they get their dick hard and they jacked like this. And they go, oh, you think I'm gay, don't you?

And then you're like, that's a little guy. It's a little gay. And then there's eye contact. And they're like, I'm going to come. And you're like, okay. All right, got it. That happened up until I was 24. 24?

It was the last time I saw a dude jerk off in front of me. But joke jerking off? Yeah. Yeah. Like joke jerking off. That's why I'll do it to Leanne sometimes. Like I'll be sitting on the couch and the recliners and I'll just take my dick out and just start jerking it. And then she'll be like, what are you doing?

I was going to come. I'm going to come. I know you like that. What is your predictor? I want to know now, like with the information you have, what's the results of my shit exam? Just so we can go back on this. Is it a chronic issue? Am I going to be on meds?

Is it a simple diet pivot or is it nothing or is it like death terminal? No, it's going to be your breeding. I'm sorry? You're breeding. You're going to need high altitude foods because you're going to need high altitude foods because you come from a high altitude culture. So it's a diet pivot. It's a diet pivot.

I guarantee you it's a diet pivot. You've gotten too much. Here's a deal, dude. You are not dark enough for your breeding. Like you forget your mirrors should say Peruvian on top of it because you're half Peruvian. You're half full-blooded Peruvian. Instead, you're a half-breed, that comes out wrong.

You're a half-peruvian. But you're, but you, but that's the deal. Like Sandra, who works in her office, you saw her coming in, the Asian chick. Haffy, yeah. She, no, she's full, full. And she can't fuck around with a lot of different foods. Doesn't smell, doesn't have body hair. That's breeding.

That is like, that comes out really eugenics. But like, but you think the doctor's going to talk to me this way? No, but he should. Dude, they did that thing where they're like, yo, you should be eating a Mediterranean diet. They say that to people from the Mediterranean. I am German-Irish. I should be eating potatoes and bread and Bratworth. I really think that the generations of how your body ate, your people ate, does affect how you move forward.

You can't just give, is it black people are lactose intolerant or is it Asians or lactose intolerant? Maybe Asians, I think. Well, 70% of the population is some degree of lactose intolerant, which is kind of crazy. I think what happened is, and I don't, this is going to come out really fucked up, but I don't really care. But like our country is a big melting pot. And that's what happened to our food, is our food turning to a melting pot. And now we're eating from all over the world. But the truth is, our stomachs are still based in where we were born.

It's our DNA. It's our DNA. And so you can't just eat crazy shit and then go, I wonder why I can't eat raw fish every single day. Well, you're not Japanese. You know, you. And so I guarantee you it's going to be a dietary change and it's going to be high altitude, low fat meats. It's going to be what – pull up – pull up what Peruvians eat. I guarantee you.

It's like – it's like when you go to the south, when I go to the south, where Leanne's family is, their salsas are all so bland. And they can't eat anything with spice in it, but they're all Scottish breeding. and then you go to Mexico, they don't even notice spice. Here you go, buddy. A vibrant blend of indigenous staples like potatoes and corn. But even still, you got to go back to it. Heavily based on rice, legumes, various proteins, lots of potatoes. The potato comes from Peru.

Choklo, which is giant corn, quinoa and grains, or as Joey Dia says, Quinao. Quinnau. Yeah, chicken, beef, pork, fresh. You should try eating, like, this for one week and I bet your stomach goes right. Now pull up what a German should eat. Yeah. Like yeah. What's the typical German, German, German diet. Put German diet. And that's probably what I should eat. Beer, right? Pretzels.

Hardy filling comfort foods. Pork, potatoes, dark breads, various cabbage cabbage kale. I fucking love dark breads. Meat and see pork is by far the most popular meat. Dude, I love pork. Yeah, dude. We should, all right, let's try this experiment and see how it goes. Find out what black people are, if they're, see if they're lactose intolerant. I think they are lactose intolerant. And so, like, because they didn't have, wait, was it? They didn't have cheese.

They had cheese in Africa. No, they didn't have cheese in Africa. Yeah, 70 to 80% of black people will have lactose non-persistence. So like. Meaning their bodies produce lower levels of the enzyme needed to digest lactose. Oh, man. Type in what do black people like eating? that's going to not come out right.

Never mind. Don't type that. No, type it in anyway. But here's the deal. It's like I think we've ignored based on on generations and generations of what typically our stomachs were used to. We've ignored it. This is a good theory. I think that's a good theory.

And I think that's what's going on with you. I think you might be right. I'm going to go shit in a bucket. I'm going to go scoop it out, put it in vials, drop it off. And I will have a report for you very soon. I want a shit in a bucket. Now, how much you pay in a shit in a bucket? I don't know.

The doctor just gave me, they're like, pick up this stuff from the lab, and I got all the stuff, and now I just got to shit and scoop it. I'm so, and I told the doc, I was like, oh, I'll wait for a good shit. She was like, no, give me a nasty one. Give me a bad one. I was like, ugh. Oh, yeah. Okay.

You should put, you should put, like, like a crayon in it. Ugh. And just be like, just to, just to fuck with her. Like, put a crayon and hair and a tooth. And then she's like, and then she's like, Okay, this is a very funny prank. I need you to do it again. Okay.

I got to run. I love you. Thank you guys for watching and thank you for listening. We'll see you next week. Bert and Tom, Tom and Bert. One goes top of the swall the other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean.

Here's what we call. Two bears one cave.