2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Tom's Dad STOLE Dynamite & BLEW UP A Bridge w/ Barstool Big Cat | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Episode Date: June 2, 2025

Check out the newest podcast from YMH Studios "Not A Damn Chance"! Hosted by pro skateboarder Neen Williams and Michelin-starred chef Phillip Frankland Lee https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihy5odp5G9A SPONSORS: - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! And we’ve got a special deal for our listeners: Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code BEARS -- just pay $5 shipping. - If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, download the free e-book “Navigating Global Trade: 3 Insights for Leaders” at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS. - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tim Segura and Bert Kershire are LIVE from the Barstool Chicago studio and share some stories of their latest shenanigans in the Windy City. The Bears also talk about bombing in Hawaii, jokes about slurs, fathers, women fading, whatever's going on in Bert's mouth, plus the internet hate for WNBA player Angel Reece and alleged royal Meghan Markle. The Bears are then joined by Big Cat who talks about stuff his kids are into lately and his favorite hobby aka gambling. Speaking of which, he also teaches the Bears about Dana White's infamous Tunnel of Chaos, before they pivot to the series "MobLand", and Tom shares a story about almost buying Dr. Dre's house. Bert also trash talks Tom's home base for some reason and compares us...I mean...it, to an abortion clinic or a dentist office, which, let me say is totally an exaggeration....I love working here. Enjoy the episode! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 291 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:36 - Chicago Shenanigans 00:16:06 - Mouth Stuff 00:19:39 - Bombing Hawaii 00:29:01 - Friends 00:36:51 - Internet 00:43:28 - Women 00:49:04 - Big Words 00:59:18 - Mandela Effects 01:03:51 - Kids Stuff With Big Cat 01:12:09 - Gambling 01:20:42 - MobLand 01:24:17 - Work From Home 01:30:37 - Big Cat's Other Interests Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I love that I started the Not a Damn Chance podcast with just the nastiest story I have. Part of the idea of this podcast is how you can become successful as living as just a regular human. I went to culinary school and I only went for a few months and I dropped out. Look at that kids. You can drop out of culinary school and get two Michelin stars. I do what I can do so I can come back and do it all over again. Not a damn chance. Not a damn chance. If you see yourself somewhere, take all the necessary steps to get there. I just don't know how to quit. That might be my superpower.

You can all try and stop me. I hope you do. Consistency was exactly what life was all about. Don't be genius here and wild there. There's a beautiful moment where obstacles become opportunities, messes become messages. I got shot in the face. Jail was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I did put my head in a noose. You heard 300 people dying.

Nobody can tell me like, you're breaking the rules, you're doing this wrong. There's no right or wrong. Don't care what it takes. I'm doing this. We have a phrase for that And my people you're like a white, you know, yeah fixture like people look at you like Hitler, you know They're like we love this guy you like Hitler, you know, they're like, we love this guy. Guten Tag Bert. Welcome. Uh, big shout out to bar stool to big cat.

Do they own high noon? I think, I think, uh, does bar stool own high noon? Isn't Dave on it or no? I gotta tell you, Dave, Dave does, I wonder if people, we're gambling people, would you put your money on Dave Portnoy to succeed when you met him in high school? I think I'd have to know that guy. I'm gonna say no. I'm gonna say no. Probably not. I'm gonna say no and I'm gonna say the same about Big Cat, I'm gonna say the same about

me and you. I was gonna say, I mean I think if I met you in high school I wouldn't be like yeah, this is gonna work out Well hold on we gotta say thank thank you bar stool for giving us accommodating us and Letting us do an episode here. We're both we've been we're fucking idiots, dude We should have done this yesterday morning not the day. Yeah, why didn't me what cuz I don't know It was dumb. God. Yeah, we did a I'm so hungover. We did a bar takeover and we got fun Tom This is the beauty belt owning a vodka company with Tom is fun

Tom shows up every time we do a bar takeover every fucking time Every fucking time Tom ends up on stage. I mean, I just want to tell you how beautiful the women of Chicago are. We walked into the Old Crow Smokehouse last night. In Wrigleyville, yes. In Wrigleyville. And a woman behind the bar, in front of the bar, handed me a remote control and said, press the button.

And I went, okay. and I pressed it and she went Huh? I said what she goes. I have a vibrator in my vagina That turns it on and I went let me get my friend real quick Yeah, and then you just handed it to me you go press it and I did the same I was like what you go press it then I said Ladies ladies I was like, what? You go press it. Then I say, oh. Ladies, ladies. That's the move. I'm telling you right now, you want to own a man's inner dialogue for the rest of the night?

That is the move. If you are a party fun girl, you do that and you go to a bar, you're in college, you find a guy, give him the remote and say, I'll see you in like 10 minutes. And that guy will do nothing but think about you. I woke up thinking about her. I woke up. I'm pretty sure her boyfriend was with her. Yeah, she had a boyfriend. And he was just like, cool, right? Like he was one of those guys. Fuck yeah. Yeah. He might be into watching or something. It was. Oh yeah. I mean, I've been thinking about her. Yeah, I know. She be into watching or something it was oh, yeah, I mean I'm thinking about her

Yeah, I know owns real estate in my head. No it's because when we left there You were like dude. Can you believe like you it was I? Was and I kept thinking it's a real here's the thing. It's a real power fucking move right to be like hey She's basically saying your hand is inside my panties right now. You know what I mean? Like she's like you're touching me right now is basically what she's doing I all I could think about this morning is how do I convince Leanne? I was gonna say you got to get one No, cuz I cuz I think we've been with each other too long. I just do it right as the guy goes

Yeah, what can I get you to drink? I'd hit it. She like I'm gonna take a, hold on, cold beer, cold beer. Dude, I wish I had those for guys, like, so if. They do. They do? Yeah. No, not, I don't want to make my ass.

No, not in your ass, I mean for your dick. For real? Yeah, and you can give her the remote. I'd be like, just turn it on. Uh. Yeah. Uh, no, no, don't touch it, uh. I'd be like just turn it on She'd be like wow that's so sexy, but so glad I got you that sitting here watching you just not aggressively so fucking

arousing That was one of the worst things I've ever seen. Cause you did, you acted that so well. Fuck. I feel like I just pressed the button and you did it. Oh my God. Are those linen pants? Yeah, I'm switching to linen.

It's good for summer. Do you want to wear it? Except my asshole sweats. And so I have an ass sweat stain in my asshole. So like if I sit down for too long, you just see like a wet mark. Dude, it's real sexy. It is, I've shit so aggressively today.

Oh, I haven't shit yet. Oh my God. I have nothing but just violent puree coming out of me. It is so gnarly. And I've had like four already. It's absolutely the most disgusting. And by the way, this place is massive

and really impressive here at Chicago Barstool. I think there's three bathrooms and there's 80 guys. It's the craziest thing. I walked into three bathrooms and three guys were there. I'm shitting them. Like I have to shit and they're like go to the other one Okay this I mean Let's let's talk for a second about Barstool Chicago. This is This is competitive with Rogan setup in my in my opinion. I'd argue. The facility?

This is better than Rogan's setup. Well, it's a totally, I mean. Very different, Rogan's one guy, so it's his thumbprint. It's just him. Yeah, it's just him. But like this is like, I mean, High School Bird is like going, what can I quit my job and just work for you guys for free?

Oh my God, I know. I would be, I'm blown away. They have a basketball court, they have a golf simulator, they have a gym, they have fucking, by the way, it's like something about the chicks that work here, they're all pretty and cute, and they got little sister energy, and they're like, what's up?

Hey, you want an high noon? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, you know, I mean, I fucking love this place. I feel like I fucked my life up. My studio is like, it looks like we sell knitting supplies out of it. There's so many fucking women. There's so many women.

Why do I have so many fucking women working for me? Why can't you get some more dudes in there? I can't, I fucking can't hold on to dudes. Really? Yeah. I lose dudes quick. Fucking, I think it's a den of snakes dudes. Really? Yeah. I lose dudes quick. Fucking, I think it's a den of snakes, those women. Yeah. They're just all fucking little fucking just.

Eee, eee, eee. Like women, they're mean girls. They're like, and so when they decide they're gonna do something, they do something. I gotta fucking have a coup d'etat. Do it. I'm gonna start sexually harassing them. I would pivot from that.

Whatever you plan on, you should stream it live. I would love to watch. By the way, I ate shit and someone's gotta have the video. It's gotta have video. You took like a epic spill on the stage last night. So, and by the way, it's what woke me. I set my alarm.

I didn't need my alarm today. Really? Because my knee fucking woke me up. So we're on stage. We're pretty lit. I mean, I'd had an edible. I don't know how many shots. I don't know how many drinks. I don't know how many drinks,

and we're saying good night basically, and thank you for everyone coming out, and we're on a stage, and there's a DJ set up there, but the floor is black, his table's black, it's not... I mean, he was black. He may have been black. That might have affected it too.

But the thing is, dude, he had like a two-foot subwoofer on the ground that like you just don't see. So I walked over this way and just completely ate shit. You fell fucking hard. I thought you blew out your knee. Well, I was joking about it and then this morning I was like, oh, what if I really didn't? Because like it hurts to put it up like that. For Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it kind of sucks

I got some cool bruises, too. You got bruises on you. Yeah Fuck it. It hard man. It was hard. Oh And I was I joked with you. I was like I tore my ACL and you're like wait I'm just kidding but I go with me you probably believe it and you're like, yeah I'm in this morning. I was like, I tore my ACL and you're like, wait, I'm just kidding, but I go, with me, you probably believe it. And you're like, yeah. And then this morning I was like, I think I did tear my ACL. Fuck.

I'm gonna be so mad if I did. And then I got back to my room and I fucking smoked DMT. I hit the DMT. What is it with you and DMT these days? It's the best fucking vape pen I've ever had in my life. But you disappear. Dude, I was fully hallucinating last night. Like, out of my mind.

Wait, how did you get a DMT vape pen? Just cool guy. Wait, how does, I wanna know the breakdown of this. I've been given a few. You've been smoking DMT more than I think you're supposed to smoke DMT. Doing DMT is like anal sex. You're supposed to do it once a year.

Yeah, until you find out it's the only way you come. And then you go, I'm gonna do it all the time. Yeah. I kind of want to do DMT. You know what? Here's the thing. You go on a, first of all, like you can't lift your head up, you know, like you're kind of paralyzed. And then, and I like it, because I feel like just give up, just life end right now. And then you go on these crazy, like crazy visual shit happening, right? You're seeing shapes and colors and all this shit. And then like a door opens

and you go into some life path realization and you're like completely lost in it. You're in an alternate reality. And you know, you and maybe you're resolving something or maybe one of your fears is coming up or maybe you're just like processing something and then all of a sudden it's over and you're like, oh, how much time went by?

15 minutes. That's it? Yeah, sometimes, but then you hit it again. You're like, let's do it again. Yeah, it's pretty great. It's crazy. We, me and you do drugs and alcohol for different reasons. Yeah.

Like it's, it's so fun to watch you get fucked up because you, you, you, you make a decision. Yeah. Yeah. Like I never make the decision. The decision just shows up. Right. It's like, it's like. It's like lunch for you.

I'm like, I'm like with civil rights in Europe. They like, yeah, they're black people, they just let them do whatever they want. In Europe? Yeah, in Europe, right? Isn't that how that works? And then you're more like the United States, where you're like, all right,

now they can use our water fountains. Right, right. Like, but like, you made a decision to get fucked up last night. You're like, you said something. You said something like, all right, that's it, it's over, something. I went, oh fuck.

Well yeah, because whenever I go to any of these things, I feel like the, you know, you have like this balance. Like, are we just at this thing, and you have a drink. Yes. And then you go. I don't, I don't know that balance, but I've heard of it. So for me, I'll be like, is it just a drink and then we're leaving here? You know, it's like one is fine. But then like the atmosphere there was so fun.

Everybody was so nice and like, it felt like we were actually at a celebration, like somebody's birthday party or something. And the music and you know, our crews together just like hanging out. So after I had like a couple I was like, oh this is like right now I'm standing on line. Like you either are going forward or you stop now. So I was like, all right, we're in, let's go.

You know what's so funny, Tim Dillon once said. And then I drank by the way, about a gallon and a half of water Have better sex with Bluetooth is the original brand offering Truable tablets for better sex and starting now blue shoe is offering a combo so strong It might knock your socks off and your neighbor's socks off and you might have to actually purchase new socks. BlueChu Max has arrived that combines the active ingredients of Viagra and

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So much water. Oh, the fucking bartender last night comes up to me and she goes Water bomb I said what she was water bomb. It's our trick kill it and she's kept handing me like a not a full glass Just like a little glass of water. Mm-hmm, and we kept killing water and I was like nice Yeah, and that's how we stayed hydrated. Wait, what was I gonna say before that? Wait, what was I gonna say before that? God damn it. No, but you, we drank a ton of vodka. Like we were doing, we had our heads back on the bar

and they were pouring shots in our mouth. I'm so jealous right now of you. I found my girl last night. Who? So I gotta share this. And I said this last night. So every night, girls, when gotta share this, and I said this last night. So every night, girls, when we do this, girls put their heads back and we pour shots in their mouth.

Yeah. I am astounded at how great dentistry is in America. Dentistry? Yeah, like I'm just amazed at how many sets of perfect teeth I look at. Perfect teeth. Now I have a thing, I have fucked up mouth. I got hit in the mouth of baseball bat when I was a kid I have like 26 fake teeth Like posts and then summer or bonded summer crowns

My my molars are shit like it's like I have a real fucked up mouth I often think the day I die I'll go well, thank God I didn't have to get down to work. You know? And so. That's a really cool outlook. One of the craziest things I have is I have these bumps at the bottom of my mouth. They're like, I can show them to you

but they're kind of crazy. And I know I have them, and I kind of, I don't hide them, but I've never seen anyone have them. I always- Under your tongue? Under my tongue. I'll I have them but I and I kind of I don't hide them I've never seen anyone have them. Oh under your tongue under my tongue. I'll show you them It's kind of creepy and my mouth is fucking sucks, but oh Yeah, so what are those okay, so I've never known I've never known they showed up in College is when I first noticed them. I had like a bump I was like I played with it and I was like what the fuck is that and I was dipping at the time I was like fuck it's cancer and then another one showed up. I was like goddamn. It's really cancer and now I have four

And I've never and I've and I'm and and my sister with she has them my My sister my sister has them my sister Cotty has them Say it's yeah, and I've gone to Dennis and I've asked them about them. Yeah Cotty has them. Same? Yeah, and I've gone to Dennis, and I've asked him about them, and he goes, yeah, some people have them. That's it? It's just, I'm sure it's a condition or whatever,

but Dennis have never said anything. They don't affect anything. They don't affect anything, but I have these bumps. Well, I have always looked when we pour shots in girls' mouths for someone that has my bumps. Like, I've always looked for it. Last night, girl fucking, I think it's a girl with a vibrator. and girls mouths for someone that has my bumps like I've always looked for it last night Girl fucking I think it's a girl with a vibrator

She puts her mouth back and I see my bumps and I go I got same mouth you do and she immediately knew what I was talking about and We started talking her boyfriend jumped in he's like easy. That's my girlfriend. I go no, no, no, no No, I go, you know, I'm talking about my shoulder and she went I've never seen that I was like that's me and you we're like fucking like what if that's the way That's the way we're the Highlanders or the outliers. Whatever. It's so crazy I've never seen anyone that had them and I'm like god damn it and did she share anything about them or just it? No, it's too loud. I wanted to talk to her about them and go like they're just benign. They're just fucking bumps

Do you know do you? Have you seen these? They're really crazy. Yes crazy. I had no idea. That's what you meant. That's really crazy I'm so jealous that you get to nap. Oh I'm gonna fucking I'm tying one on Are you yeah? I'm done. I had a really great. I had a really great run of not drinking How long? eight days I had a really great run of not drinking. How long?

Eight days. Get on a plane for Hawaii. I have two drinks, four takeoff. Fly sober, land, no booze. At the hotel, no cocktails. Sleep, wake up, feel amazing, work out. Amazing. Comedy is the reason I will be alive is because of comedy. Do two shows in Hawaii, two nights in Hawaii. Oh, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm working on. I have usually when I build an hour there's I usually have something really great when I'm building it something really great that I can go this will at least they got that and then I got two things I'm working on and I go at least they'll see that they'll know that that was what I was working on. I don't know I'm like I got I got one story that's I got a couple stories that are okay, but like...

When did your special come out? March? Yeah, and I took... I made a mistake. I took 11 months off, and I should have never done that. No, I think you did the right thing. I think I'm so far removed from stand-up that like... It really is the first time in my life where it's taking a minute to get the rust off. That's fine, though, that's good.

And the people in Hawaii were awesome. I opened with a fucking, I opened with a James Cook. The women of Hawaii joke. How'd that land? Not well. What's the angle? As soon as I said it.

Like I wish I was James Cook. No, I said, you know one Like I wish I was James Cook? No, I said, I said, you know one of my favorite stories about James Cook and everyone's like, we're not huge fans of that guy. And I was like, this isn't gonna go over well. I was like, you know, I mean it is a funny story. Yeah. They pull up to Hawaii, right?

Yeah. And James Cook's like... You don't have to whisper anymore. Okay. James Cook's like, well this is ASMR. Okay. James Cook's like to the guys on his boat, he's like, all right, listen, we all have syphilis

and we all have rickets, okay? So no one, I'm not letting you guys on this fucking island and they're like, but we need fruit and he's like, okay, fruit and water, that's it. I'm gonna send two you fucking people. I have one rule, don't fuck the women. And they go, what about the fruit? Okay, two rules, bring back fruit, don't fuck the women. And they go, what about the fruit? Okay, two rules.

Bring back fruit, don't fuck the women. Two rules, that's it. Two you go. You understand me, two rules. And they go, yeah, boss, we got it. He said, great. Sends them in a boat, they come back in the boat, and he's like, how did it go?

And they're like, well, you're not gonna be happy. Like what? And they're like, we fucked a couple women. So now they have syphilis, so we might as well just go fuck them. That's what I opened with in Hawaii. And they were like, yeah, we know. Yeah, yeah.

I was like, fucking shit. And you're like, that's one of my favorite stories. I just think it's so funny that like, I just thought, when I heard that story, I thought it made me giggle. They didn't like it. And then I, by the end of the week you know it's like you get the rust off your saw this I opened my first show Thursday with that

and then by the end of the week I was like I was like fuck James Cook and they're like yeah and I was like do you know that you want to know crazy thing about James Cook he couldn't swim seriously he couldn't swim he's out navigating navigating the world and Navigating the world. And apparently that was like a, that was a tactic to keep your sailors, like you didn't want sailors who could swim. You wanted sailors who couldn't swim

because then they really gave a fuck about, no one abandoned the boat. Right. And so, yeah, they, he tried to take someone hostage and then they chased him in the water, bludgeoned him to death and he couldn't get to the boat. He couldn't swim to the boat. That's how he died?

Yeah. But that was, and then I started getting, I don't know if it's pandering, but there's an island called Ni'au. Do you know that island? It's privately owned by a white dude. And he has not let anyone on that island, there's like 80 indigenous people, like real Hawaiians.

They sound different, they talk different, and they live on that island. It's the furthest island west in Hawaii. And it's just, they bought it for 10 fucking grand back in the day when you could. Well I know they're not big fans of Zuck. He owns a lot of land there. Zuckerberg, Steve Case, they all own,

Steve Case owns, Larry Ellison. Larry Ellison owns, That guy's. Lanai. Yeah, he owns 98% of Lanai. Yeah. And by the way, looks like a villain.

I mean, honestly, looks like, you know when Schultz does his thing with his mustache, it looks like that guy. Like the, mm, mm, mm. Well that's what the, what's it called? Iron Man kind of facial hair, it's all based on. Do you think Schultz knows that he's doing the villain thing when he rolls his mustache like that?

I don't know, it's probably. It's like, I always wanted to ask him, because it is the villain thinking Yeah, and he does it so much. I think it's probably unconscious. It's like it's like I was just like anyway You know what I'm saying? Like just it's like Hold your thoughts. Yeah Yeah That's good. Maybe I'll start to do you should start doing that That would be perfect. I have a question. Yeah. Yeah

That would be perfect. Wait, I have a question. Yeah, yeah Dude your opener there that reminds me of the hardest I ever bombed in Hawaii No, cuz I was there for one of those. Oh, yeah, that's right. Tom's a girl This is this is a game from James Cook rules. Okay, we have two rules guys Number one do not mention Pearl Harbor number, do not make fun of the Hawaiians. Tom goes on stage and he goes, I got bad news. He goes, opening joke. They said island life is slow.

I didn't know they were talking about your metabolisms. Wow, you guys are fat. I got lost walking around Pearl Harbor today. Lucky I ran into a couple of Japanese folks. They really know that this this space like the back of their hand. Then I said, I know that Mahalo has a bunch of different meanings. Is one of them extra cheese? You guys are so fun.

Yeah, that was fun. God, man. And then they also were like, and don't curse. And we were all like, okay. And then we all just cursed anyway. It's so crazy. We're teaching these guys to kill. Yeah. Like, ultimately, we go to the military, we're like, yo, I think the rule was, and correct me if I'm wrong, I am quoting, they were taught, if it's brown and it moves, kill it. That was one of the things we heard. Yeah.

But don't curse in front of them. Yeah, don't curse. If it's brown and it moves. Russell Peters came on late. Yeah. He was the closing act. Yeah, we're like, you're brown. Tom leans over to me and he goes,

Russell Peters is closing this out and they are taught if it's brown and it moves, kill it. And Russell Peters is walking way too much on stage. That was so fun. Well, the funny thing is you make a good point because it's all such a charade right like they're like don't Don't say anything not nice. Don't and you're like for what like the Admiral's wife is here. You're like so what? There's fucking eight thousand people out here like we gotta do a show for her

And then everybody and then when our organizer was like you guys just fucking ruined my life The guy that booked us was like, thanks for your- Are we talking about Charlie? Well, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. That was, you know what? This is an ad by BetterHelp. Men today face immense pressures to perform,

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Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash fairs. That's BetterHELP.com slash fairs. The beauty of having, I'm bummed I didn't make more friends long ago. You know? Like I left all my Tampa friends when I moved to New York and when I moved to New York I have a bunch of New York friends like you know that I started comedy with but we never

really kept in touch the way. Yeah. friends like you know that I started comedy with but we never really kept in touch the way yeah like you're probably my closest friend that I've been in touch with you know that hasn't drugged me or yeah like but like even like Joe I've known Joe's long enough where I can't like but I've known you longer than I've known Joe and the funny funny thing, the great thing about life is when you're experiencing something and you giggle about something that happened a long time ago and it makes you smile

and you go, God, memories. It's a cool thing about having kids. When we were at this, we were in Justin Hawaii, obviously, and we stayed at the Four Seasons, which used to be the, Oholani? I don't remember. It used to be. A Marriott property.

A Marriott property, that's where Leanne and Christina met. And that's where Tom and I did these shows. Whenever you ever did the Pearl Harbor, you stayed there, it's really nice. It's amazing, it's got little lagoons that are manmade, and they made them in 1977 before the government would be like, yo, you can't do that.

Right. Like all the coolest parts of America, the government got in the way of. Like all of Coral Gables, like where it's just like these beautiful canals and everything, that was just, dudes going like, you get dynamite, let's just make fucking rivers.

Yeah. This guy, the guy that owned all that property, he still, I think he still owns a piece of that property, he owned all the west side, and they were like, you're never gonna, or the leeward side of Hawaii. They were like, you're never gonna, no one's ever gonna build here because it doesn't rain here,

it's dry, it's bullshit. You know, there's no waves, it's the leeward side. And he was like, eh, I'll see. He was like, I bet they'd like it if there were lagoons. And they're like, what are you gonna do with that? And he goes, get some dynamite. And he dynamited four lagoons. And then on the fourth one, they were like,

yo, you gotta stop, this is insane. He's just blowing up terrain. And he's just making these amazing, they're gorgeous. They're so. Did I ever tell you about when my dad was a kid, he told me this story me the story like just just like something that could only happen in a different time There was you have to do a show about your dad. I know I know you have to do a show about your dad Just that I didn't mean I meant to interrupt. Yeah, but no be just that I keep that my favorite my out of bad thoughts my favorite Episode my favorite thing is that the fucking talent show?

We thanks but Sarah's got a new special and she talks about her dad a lot Yeah, and it's there's man. There's something especially when you've lost that parent The reminiscing about that parent I watched Sarah's special. It's so good I want to see it and but I love hearing stories about your dad. I love it cuz it's like I Don't know. It's like keep going out. Well, he was a he was a kid and this is in I think it was in Louisville and I guess this would have been like probably the late 50s right like

There's an army post and he's a kid him and a couple guys post and he's a kid him and a couple guys like walk onto the base and they steal dynamite and and then they blow up a bridge so they set off dynamite and blow up a bridge and then a police officer picks them up and is like You can't be doing that and then called my dad's dad so my grandfather told him and my dad was told by his dad like You should not do things like that like that was like that type of scolding and then he was like I'm sorry father And then that I was like is that all your dad told then he was like, I'm sorry father. And then I was like, is that all your dad told you? He was like, yeah, you fucking blew up a bridge

with dynamite? I miss those days. Yeah, dude. His dad was in law enforcement too, so he got like, you know. Oh, for real? Well, my grandfather was an FBI agent, so he was just like. Oh, we met, we met FBI agents. We met FBI agents.

We met the guy that arrested Jesse Smollett. That's right, yeah. I don't know if we should. I don't care. I don't care, all right, it's fine. He gave us his card. Hey, wait, wait, wait, what, wait. When, what?

Oh, I asked him, I go, because he handed me the badge, you know? I was like, okay, how cool of a flex is pulling this out he's like it's pretty good no what's your favorite memory of somebody being like hey fuck head and then you go like this and they're like oh I'm sorry and I think he said it was at a show like it was something with entertainment you know like he was like I'm going here and some some people were like you can't go there and he just pulled it out and they're like I'm sorry and they just move out of the way

I was like yeah like you got to have like the some type of fun of pulling that out. There's so Leanne's Leanne's not She's not a city slicker no shit She's not a city slicker. No shit. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Leanne's what they call a rube, right?

Like if you take her to the big city, she's gonna lose majority of her savings in a shell game. Yeah. So like, and that, that's the country in her. But it shows up on the internet. So like Leanne is the person on the internet that goes, hold on, have you seen this? And he shows you and it's clearly, it's like a stage video.

And one of the most staged videos I've seen is a cop pulls over a black woman and he's just fucking, license registration, he's being a dick, right? And the black woman's clearly is like, just going like, okay, okay. And then, but it says, cop pulls over federal judge. Have you seen this? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then she, he goes, get out of the car. And then she's wearing her judge's gown. As it's on, let's just say, as a dude who grew up with a lawyer father who went to court on days he was sick, I would go to court with my dad. They don't walk home in the court and the judge outfit. They leave it in the court. It is something they put on.

They don't fucking. That's like pulling over a doctor and he pulls out his stethoscope. He's like, excuse me. I'm so sorry. What were you saying? And Leanne goes, you say this? I pulled over a federal judge, and I was like, baby, it's not real.

She goes, what do you mean, it's not real? I go, it's not real. She goes, I'm looking at it, and I go, no, it's staged. Why would they stage that? I go, there's so many staged videos. I was cut to outrage you. And she goes, what? He just did it because she's black.

And I went, no, baby, that's. It's not a real thing. They know what you're thinking in bed, that you want to see someone misbehave and then get called on his shit. And in the dialogue too, cause she's like, you're gonna find out. He's like, why are you wearing that?

Why are you wearing a judge's outfit? But you're black. You're, hang on, you're black. You shouldn't be a... hold on you're a female. You're black and female. It's so... and she's like you're gonna be hearing from me and you're like okay. Yeah I mean I have to say if it's like we've all been taken by a really good stage job like I'm sure you know I've I've not won that one on the airplanes Not one what no, I'm so I'm a production guy Tom

It's my third high noon Hey, like it. It's really good. They're very tight. I don't even feel buzz yet. I Feel like gambling It's like what barstool is about yeah, it's fucking brilliant. This is fucking brilliant. I hate that they figured this out before me It's like I'm fucking stunned that like cuz like I'm I mean this with respect, I hope this comes out with respect, but like I'm a meathead Mm-hmm, and I'm more of a meathead than that, right? Like I'm the ultimate fucking meathead

White privilege. I got it all, I got it all. They outdid me at my own game. I didn't even know we were playing the goddamn game. That's right. I'm so fucking stunned that like. Yeah, but you, you know, you still were able to. I've done good for myself, but like to see what they've done, this facility. I keep going back to that

Let's go back. Let's talk. You know, can I keep going because I hate that the the internet kind of like it encapsulates What we all feel yeah, it's almost like they're like it's tarot cards like they're going like Like they feed you shit. They're like, hey, do you feel like black people are a little mouthy? And you're like, huh? And like, watch Angel Reese. What do you think about that? And then you're like, what the fuck, man? She can't even make, like, I was talking with fucking

fuck-faced and numb nuts last night, Pete and Kyle at dinner, and they're like, did you see, this is what made me upset. Did you see all her air balls? She has angel Reese. Do you see all her air balls all her misses like a guys? Everyone's gonna you could do that for any athlete. You could just show every time they miss Yeah, someone just put that together and they go no she misses all the time. I go No, she doesn't obviously she's in the WNBA she must be pretty good like she has to

Sink one or two to be in the WNBA. She must be pretty good like she has to sink one or two to be in the WNBA I mean, I don't know if that's a rule. I don't know anything about WNBA Well, like but but like they just made a composite compiled video compilation video of her Mrs Yeah, you can you can make a miss video for anybody and I go but I go I hate that the internet does that cuz they go You kind of racist yeah You know like black women right? No, but guys you're racist? Little racist, is this what you're like? Like black women, right? Black guys are cool with, but the women, right?

Check this out. And then they feed it to you, and then it serves an inner dialogue to you. Yeah, you're right, you're right. It's like, honestly, this, and here's the thing is, I really like Caitlin Clark. I really like her, but I know the way this works It's gonna it's gonna reshift Like the angel Reese versus Caitlin Clark thing. Mm-hmm is like Apollo Creed versus fucking rocky

It keeps going to and and I want to tell Angel Reese. Shut the fuck up. Stop talking. Stop talking. Stop talking Don't don't say a fucking word go Marshawn Lynch on them Just don't say a fucking word and just cuz it cuz everything she says they fucking take and use against her and I'm I bought an Angel Reese Jersey she plays for the Chicago Scott fucking bought a jersey yesterday you did yeah fuck yeah I'm not gonna wear it but it's an XL fit oh there's a lot that was a lot like they did it with Meghan Markle. Oh, Meghan Markle's kind of out of her mind She's kind of crazy dude the second I talked about Meghan Markle all my feed was was Meghan Markle. Yeah You watching that show amazed me I can't I can't stop I watched it on the plane when she correct dude she corrects like

Mindy Mindy Kaling is our name Mindy Kaling. What's her name? Yeah, Mindy Kaling, is that her name? Mindy Kaling, is her name? Yeah. Mindy Kaling, Kallig? Kaling? Yeah. Is like, she's like the most woke person in the world, right, she's never done anything wrong.

She's a woman, woman of color, she's like, fuck it, she's overweight, she's skinny, she checks all the boxes of like, can't offend you at all, right? Yeah, and she fucking offended Meghan Markle by calling her Meghan Markle. What do you mean dude is so good? It's did you see this? I mean she says something simple like I can't believe I bet no one would think Meghan Markle likes peanut butter and jellies And then Meghan Markle goes you still call Megan Markle likes peanut butter and jellies and the mega Markle goes You still call me Markle. It's I'm suffix

And you can see me Kelly like what the fuck why are we doing this? Like yeah, I didn't say the n-word like what the fuck you bitch like what the fuck she It's so good chastises her for she's not joking joking? No, and it's, and by the way, I'm a ride or die for H&M, right? H&M? That's what I call them, that's what they call each other. Oh, Jesus.

It's so good, Tom, it's so good. Like, I honestly, I think that people are, I think I might be the smartest man in the world, and I think that I can transcend Fucking what I think I can transcend things and enjoy misery. I think I can enjoy the fucking Horribleness of some of projects like this show is So rewatchable because of is it's a disaster. It's is it a hate watch You can't you can't it see that I would argue. It's not even a hate watch you can't you can't it's see that I would argue It's not even a hate watch. It's it you just got to get into it. You got another characters

It's like the office. It really is like the office. I'm being serious. It's so She cannot get out of her way. Yeah, and I and I've I've watched a Ricky Gervais character like like that, right? Like it's but you got to be you got to gotta go you gotta get out of the internet and go I'm not gonna just hate her because she was on scrubs or whatever suits and then suits Yeah, she was on suits of married a prince and and I don't believe a lot of her I don't get out of that get into the fact that it is the office It but it's for real life. It is real life if Ricky Gervais created this character you would laugh hysterically.

Right, you'd be like this. And I really, and I'm joking myself, I'm the smartest man in the world, but I'm not really, but like, but I really think I've transcended it and I've enjoyed, I enjoy, I watched it again on the plane. Again. And I giggle, I giggle. Alright, you're gonna make me try it. What's it called? I don't know.

With love? With't know With love with love with love she's trying to be Martha Stewart, right? I Mean it makes me want to rewatch old Martha Stewart's clips cuz you know Martha Stewart was a little bit out there Like they used to do parodies of her on SNL. Oh They were so good. Yeah. Yeah. She's a badass though, actually. Fuck yes. She really is.

Dude, can I tell you what sucks for women is that they fade. Just. It's like watching Superman get locked out of his house. Women specifically fade? Yeah. What about guys? Nope, we get better. I told this to Leanne

we're taking a walk I noticed like I know it's like well I'm famous but I noticed people looking at me like when we were walking I noticed like these young girls saw me and then they giggled and then they were like oh my god and then they came ran over and they're like are you and I was like yeah I'm like oh my god and their energy was in then I noticed like man it sounds a little shitty but like no it's like not a lot of young boys are doing that to Leanne I said I said to Leanne I said I said it's kind of crazy like it's kind of crazy that like And we just seen the conclave. I said Isabella Rosaline. I was stuck on this

Isabella Rosalini we would have cut a finger off to fuck. Mm-hmm And now you look at her and you go But ten years ago, 10 years ago, we'd punch our wife in the teeth to have a chance with her in bed. 10 years ago, she's still beautiful, she's still beautiful, but it is inevitable with women at faith and with men,

we kinda, our stock increases, especially if you make money and you're, you know, a little gray, looks sexy and, you know. I got jocked by these, I got jocked by these young girls in Hawaii. This is right when Leanne left. Leanne left and I was only leaving two hours after her. But I went down to the beach, I had a fucking cocktail.

I was telling Pete this last night. And these girls came out and wanted to talk to me. And they're like, are you here by yourself? And and I was like I was like oh my wife my wife just left and they didn't know I was leaving in an hour they were like oh what are you doing for dinner tonight I was like I don't know I should have been like I'm having it on the plane but you know I don't know like you should come with us and I was like oh no I'm leaving in an hour and they're like okay and then I was like that's it's just so odd. Now I'm buzzed.

It's so odd that like, for women, it's just, it's inevitable. It happens to all of them. Right. Well, they're the ones pursued, right? So like, guys pursue women. So you have like this biological thing happening in you too, right? Where you, like your DNA is seeking out the youngest, most viable, you know, reproduction person too.

And so like, you actually have a signal in your head that sees somebody that's older and goes, this is not a reproductive person. You know what I mean? Like, that's like on a on a real base like, you know uh The purest level of attraction is really like our body's telling us Reproduce or don't reproduce. I almost envy ugly chicks. Mm-hmm, because they never had it, right Yeah, like what's what's better to have it and lose it or to never have it and never know what it was

did you ever did you ever like do like a? You know like a charity Fuck when you were younger no, I've only fucked I only fucked who would fuck me No, I'm sure that you would not love my list, but no, but did you ever like I won't have sex with six chicks Right, but was one of them. you know like no hey you're not that attract you didn't say it but you fell in love with all of them I was like I love I said I love you to all of them

even the one I stand I said I love you like what fucking only fuck people I love I'm broken I'm the reason that's the reason the internet hates me at times because I've said everything I'm broken. I'm the reason that's the reason the internet hates me at times is because I've said everything I'm just broken I'm sorry I never even made out with an ugly chick. I don't think really I don't think so But it took me so I

It took me so much to kiss a girl that I was like, I don't wanna fucking deal with the fucking rejection. No, I'm gonna say, oh God. I'm like envious of Buddy in college. Let's just call him Chris. And he just kissed everyone. He tried to kiss everyone.

Like every night, just He tried to kiss everyone. Every night, just leaned in to kiss everyone. I was like, what are you doing? And he was like, hey man, you swing a couple times, you're gonna hit a home run once. I was like, yeah, he goes, try to kiss them all. I mean, literally, he just. And I was like, I wish I could do that.

He must have had some responses. He was, I gotta say this. I wanna say his last name so we know who we're talking about. It's Chris who lived with Steve and Eddie, just so we're all clear. You guys get it. Yeah.

Good looking dude. Really good looking dude. Never really had like a girlfriend. I think if you focus on looking for the home run, you forget what it's like to hit a nice base hit. Yeah. And I was always like, give me a base hit for the summer. Someone I can fall in love with,

someone I can like order pizza with, watch movies with, someone I can tell secrets to. Yeah. I don't belong in a bar stool. Fucking, I'm a broken boy. That's right. We're all broken. No, I don't belong to Barstool. I'm a broken boy. We're all broken. No, I'm so broke. You think I could have these conversations with the guys here? What would they say?

Huh? Are you betting on the mayor's game? What are we talking here? Are you gay? It's cool, there's a lot of gays now. Even at Barstool, we have gays. It's crazy how gay almost disappeared, you know? And then it came back like strong. Like I hear so many people calling shit gay that I'm like, I remember when I stopped saying it for a while.

So the only critique that was valid that I heard, like you you have to like listen to When you go that's gay and you mean that's lame was that People were saying what if a young kid? That's gay like actually homosexual Hears you saying that something that is shitty is gay and they kind of associate that with themselves and I go Oh, that's a valid critique and then I was like, yeah, deal with it.

You know, that's gay, it's fucking, like, you should. It's fun, it's a fun. You got in trouble for saying retarded. I got in trouble for saying retarded. Isn't that great, like, that's so wild. That the, go ahead. Not only that, hold on. So, also.

Do you remember they wanted you to do the retard challenge? Dude, please, it's unbelievable. I went to the Special Olympics, dude. Not to the event, to the headquarters. Wait, what did you compete in? I probably actually wouldn't win. But, yeah. First of all, let me just say this.

The most comforting thing, like the thing that I enjoy the most is when I'm around somebody who is gay and they use That's gay the same way that we do then I go. Oh cuz like they're like, no, no, yeah, of course I should I think that's the best the retarded people you got in I This is I think this is glossed over. Oh You got in a lot of trouble. I'm going to say it. You don't have to say it. And so if everyone knows, according to my dad, I don't know what the truth means, but I'll tell you my truth. I always tell you my truth.

You made a joke about the word, the word and the usage of the word and how, you didn't just call something retarded. You made a joke about the word and it got so out of control, they wanted you to take your special down and you don't have to answer any of this, I'm just gonna tell you my side of the story. They were legit thinking about it and you commented with,

hey Netflix, if you took my special down that would be retarded. And then Netflix is like, that's not the post we were looking for, Tom. Yeah, that wasn't Netflix. And then you had to go meet with people and now it's almost like watching what's happening today makes me outraged that we could have just done that then. Well, I'll tell you this, man. It was a very, I don't think a lot of people realize how shitty of an experience it was.

I told you that, I said when I went through something, I don't forget what my thing was, but I said I felt bad that I'd never reached out and said, hey man, I hope you're going through, you know It was it was bad. It was really bad. I actually thought that my career was kind of gonna end like when you're in when you're in it You really feel like you're in like a little bubble and you know, all I got every day was just crazy people like threatening to kill me You know send me messages. I'll beat your fucking head in with a hammer like crazy shit And then like I keep getting these calls, they're like, hey, you know,

they want you to go meet with the Special Olympics. I'm like, what are you talking about? And I'm like, who's asking? And then finally they're like, it's Reed Hastings, the CEO of Netflix, wants you to go do it. I'm like, what? He wants me to go do it? And they're like, yeah, I guess I'm gonna go do it.

So I went down there Say no to well, yeah the guy that started it I don't remember what we did. I don't remember what we did. Netflix is an interesting family to be a part of because there's a couple guys that could have their way with me. Keep going. Well, here's the funny thing. So they're all attacking me.

And one of the things that I figured out pretty quickly is that I'm an attainable target because there's all these other Movies and shows and comics who have said retarded right and I'm like hey, what about Tropic thunders on there at the time and they're like, oh, yeah, they're upset about that But like, you know, they can't really get a hold of Ben Stiller so they can find you though, you know they got you I'm like, oh cool. And then I go down there and Special Olympics people were like, hey, you know, we watched the special and you know, you're actually like you're funny guy I mean it made us laugh and I'm like, okay, and they're like But you know that word is so problematic and they're explaining, you know, I'm listening like we're having an adult conversation and after we speak they're explaining, you know, I'm listening like we're having an adult conversation and after we speak they're like

you know, you're really you're a nice guy and you're thoughtful and I go thanks and you know, they're like I Really, you know, I didn't want to laugh but I did laugh at your special I go thanks man, and then the guy's like I just want you to know that you know I appreciate you coming down and I go thanks He goes I'm gonna still do everything in my power to try to have your special taken down and I go what? And he goes yeah. And I go, what? And he goes, yeah. And I go, okay.

And then I left there. I don't know what number on the call sheet I was on the call list, but I got a call in the car and you were confused and you were like, I do not know what just happened. But the thing, I was in my pool, because I remember I was staring at rocks, the hardscape of my pool.

And you go, oh man, what the fuck? I was like, what? And you're like, they actually got the joke. They said the joke, the joke makes sense, not a hateful joke, but they're still gonna take, they wanna take my special down. And I was like. And they tried. And I remember you saying, they want me to do the R Word down. And I was like, and I remember you saying,

they want me to do the R Word challenge. And I started laughing so hard, I go, they want you to do the retarge challenge? And you go, yeah, I go, Tom, Tom, you need to tell them. The internet's not gonna fucking like what they think. It was so insane. Then they told me, so, obviously the special, they didn't take it down.

And I have to defend Netflix, because Netflix stood up for not just me, but they're like, you know, our comedians can kind of do what they want. Like, you know, you don't have to like it, but we're not gonna take it down. Take a look at Bad Thoughts. Take a look at Bad Thoughts.

Take a look at Bad Thoughts. If you have not seen it, go watch it right now. That is Netflix. That is, and it's Tom's, but that is the boss we have. It's like, sure, what do you guys wanna do? But here's what's funny, because this all started when you're saying, people are saying shit's gay again, retarded.

So for a minute though, after this whole shit went down, first of all, one of the high ranking guys got fired because he was referencing my special, and then in the reference to my special, he said the N-word in a meeting, and then people were like, why are you saying the N-word? He's like, no, I'm talking about words, and then he did it twice and they fired him.

Right, that was a huge story. I'm not like- I remember that, I remember that. Yeah, no, no, I remember that, I remember that. This is all in the trades and in New York Times and everything. And then there was kind of a policy for a minute that they were like, hey, you cannot say that word

in specials. So like they stopped Jay Okerson. Jay Okerson, yeah. Well then I got a call on my follow-up special. They were like, hey, if you talk about the last special and everything that went happened, they're like, you can't say, like, retarded again. That was really bad, right?

Like the fallout was bad. And I just kind of accepted it. And I'm not critiquing, I think language and stuff, there's cultural shifts. Things happen, you go, so okay. Here's the funny thing. It has been five, six, seven years. And now say everyone says

retarded again and it's in shows, it's in stand-up, like it's just back. The people will just kind of were like no we want it back we're gonna say it again and and I don't mean like in the malicious way to like I'm just saying like when we go like dude what are you doing this is retarded you keep drinking like it you know like people are but like that version is like back in is like acceptable it's I gotta be honest with you I'm I end up going old school where I go yo I had a period where I didn't say any of these words and I understood it and I got it and now that I hear them so casually and callously said like just whatever I go whatever, what ever happened to you guys?

Did you guys get beat that easily? Yeah. Like what, we were on your team for a second. I mean, I never really used the word, I never really, like, I'll tell you what, I never made fun of anyone with Down syndrome in my entire life. I've never, it's not my thing.

No. And by the way, to the point where like, I remember. Making fun of somebody like that. It's fucking, yeah. Like all the word, I understand why somebody goes, you know, this is hurtful, it's not like it's lost to me. But I'm saying, you have to accept the way that language works is if enough people agree that a word has a second meaning,

then it has that meaning because people are agreeing on it. And with that word, we all, to use it to somebody with a disability, that is cruel. And it's completely unnecessary. It's not funny. But people say it for like... Same with gay. That's what I'm saying, yeah.

I mean gay or, you know, it's like both those words, I just go like, I don't know, I've never made fun of gay people. I've enjoyed them. You never beat up a gay guy in high school? No, never. You're not that much of a fucking barstool guy. Yeah.

That's one of the things Dave looks for in a resume. He's like, did you get? True. Yeah, he's like, did you pummel somebody for being a queer? Hey, is Big Cat here? Can we get him to step in for a second and just say hello? Yeah. I just wanna give him flowers and tell him

how fucking great. This has been a great podcast man. By the way, did you know that Tuskegee Airmen did not have syphilis? I hadn't even, I didn't know. So can I tell you what I learned? Yeah. Tuskegee Airmen are different than the Tuskegee Experiment. My whole life I thought they gave a bunch of pilots syphilis, and then let them have syphilis for like 30 years to test out, to find out what the degree of syphilis, what happened when you left syphilis untreated.

I mean, it kills you. Are you aware of the Tuskegee experiment? Where a bunch of guys, a bunch of black dudes got what they called back in the day syphilis, but they called it bad blood. And they got syphilis. Syphilis was, it ruined your life. I mean, you went blind, you-

Yeah, your brain rotted. Your brain rotted, your fucking, Al Capone died of syphilis, I think. He did. And so, that was the Tuskegee experiment. The Tuskegee Airmen is something totally different. That was a bunch of black pilots during World War II. In whatever happens, what's the thing where everyone thought

that Sinbad was in the movie Shazam? What's it called? What? The Mandela Effect. I thought they gave these pilots syphilis in World War II. That'd be a crazy experiment to do. I know. And I get up there and fly down

with your brain fucking melting. In my head I'm like, the whole, my whole life I've always been like, but they were flying for us, why would we give them syphilis? And then I would. What the fuck was the Sinbad thing? I don't know. Mandela effect.

Which is? It's when you think you know something happened, like oh, hold on, this is a Mandela effect Luke Skywalker in Darth Vader in and Darth Vader says Luke. I am your father, right? Yeah, he never said that He never said that his words were like search deep into your truth. You will know it to be true Luke He never said Luke. I'm your father, but we all believe we heard Luke. I am your father For what it's a Mandela effect. It's the same thing with why is it called the Mandela effect?

Because Nelson Mandela I was really big into movies. I don't fucking know It's gotta be why is it called the Mandela effect? Are you looking on your phone for an answer for me? What's Mandela effect? Do you like how I immediately became your boss? Who would you rather who would you rather? Sit on a 10-hour flight with big cat or Dave Portnoy That was that didn't take that did not take long. Yeah. All right. He's nicer, too Oh people go he died in prison so people were telling that story because they think it's a are you serious Well, so it is Nelson Mandela. Yeah

Makes sense because people okay What oh What? Oh. Oh, so it's not Brent Krishner, it's Bert Kreischer. Hey, that's the Mandela Effect. That's the Mandela Effect. Do you know how often my name is mispronounced? Well, I have a collection of videos in a folder, if that's what you're wondering.

I got two things. Ready? And by the way, I don't know if I know the answer. Oh, I know the answer. I, I, I got two things, ready? And by the way, I don't know if I know the answer. Oh, I know the answer, I know the answer. I almost guarantee you that Tom doesn't know Big Cat's real name. Dan Catz?

God damn it. Fuck. Is he Jewish? Really? One of the big ones. Yeah. He's a real outlier in that world. Really? One of the big ones. Yeah. He's a real outlier in that world.

They only get one or two like that in a generation. Look at this fucking guy. Good looking. Strong jawline. Yeah. Big dude. Great hair, big guy. He's a big fucking dude.

I think 6'2 is the threshold of big dude. Yeah, legit. When you're 6'2, you're a big man. When you're fucking six foot doesn't do it. Six foot, you might as well be 5'10. Right? No one can tell the difference between 5'10 and six foot. No, you wanna be, like you said, 6'2, 6'3,

that's where it's at. I think we should. Oh, look who just showed up. What's up, boys? What's up, man? We've been having the best time here for the last, whatever, how long we've been here. And we just wanted you to come in,

because thank you, first of all, for letting us do this. Also, congratulations. I know you've been here a while, but it's super impressive. Thank you. Are we live right now? Yeah, yeah. Oh, OK. I was like, oh, this is really nice. I was thinking thinking maybe you're gonna say all this before we started taping. No, man

So we've been recording for an hour. Um, yeah, it's awesome. Happy you guys got to see it. It's really cool, man It's uh, it's a dream. It's like we've I work in a fun fact. You actually really do this. It's the the Rob Dyrdek I was such a huge fan yeah of him and Robin big yeah and I remember when he like built that whatever it was 20 years ago I was like this is like skateboard park and all that shit yeah that's what I want to do for a living you did it yeah yeah I can I say one one funny thing though so I so we we built this in November 2023 is when we moved in and I take my kids here all the time. Your kids?

Yeah, three of them. Are you serious? Yeah. You guys are good at keeping secrets. No, I mean that's not a secret. They're very much, I mean I don't put them online. Oh you don't do any specials and talk about their periods? Yeah, no I don't. I don't put out their pictures or their names because I know this is very smart Pretty fucked up very smart reckoning when they get to like me when they go to college and some guy walks up to her

Party and goes I'm gonna fuck the famous right out of you. Yeah, fuck you kid. I know who you want I'll find you say his name fucking Yeah, I got three little kids. So I bring them here all the time to run around on the weekends. I have the little toy trucks and stuff. And then so they love it. They think it's the coolest thing ever.

It is. They fucking love it. This is. Then maybe it was like four months ago, Dude Perfect opened their new office. And my son watches Dude Perfect and ago, Dude Perfect opened their new office, and my son watches Dude Perfect, and he watched their tour of their new office, and he was just like, where are your go-karts?

Where are your go-karts? Yeah, why did your shit suck? Yeah, your thing sucked. Why the fuck? Wait, can we deep dive into this? You know, so Dude Perfect, I think they do, I think they're like Deep State Media, because they did a,

they did like a fun run at my son's school, he's in kindergarten, and all you had to do was compete and you get a prize. The prize was Dude Perfect Backpacks. So every kid walks out with a Dude Perfect Backpack and they're just like, this is awesome, and then boom, they're hook, line, and sink. We gotta do that with porosos.

Do kindergarten parties where they get balls of porosos? Porosos sippy cups. Sippy cups. Get them real young. porosos. Yeah, that's a good call. Do kindergarten parties where they get balls of porosos? Poroso sippy cups. Sippy cups. Get them real good. Oh, hold on. That's actually brilliant. That's actually fucking brilliant. That's really good.

That's really brilliant. We should do lunch boxes while we're at it. Dude, and Lucy. You guys with Lucy? Yes. Lucy, you should come out with a candy that you put in your cheek and slowly release a sugar. Or Robe.

This is fucking brilliant. All right, what was the deep dive? put in your cheeks and slowly release his sugar. Or Robe, dude, Robe can do it. This is fucking brilliant. All right, what was the deep dive? Okay, oh. Oh, first of all, are you Jewish? I am non-practicing. My dad was or is, my mom is not. Your mom is not, so you're not officially.

So half. Yeah, but I mean, because we were saying like, man, he's a real outlier. Look at him, he's like big, strong. You and Gary Goldman. You and Gary Goldman could carry on the race. I was one of those kids when I was like younger I hated all religion like I've gotten more mature where if you think that religion is important to you and your relationship with God is important to

you I'm not gonna touch some he hates Palestinians right I was that like shithead kid who's like this is bullshit Yeah, like why are we doing why are we doing anything that was told to us? You know three thousand years ago. Yeah, so and I've kept that pretty consistent throughout my life It's funny how how non-religious like I was brought up You know like a kind of religious household and how I have kids now and they have Virtually like just no yeah yeah my kids are not part of yeah or their upbringing yeah yeah yeah be a good person yeah yeah that's the thing is like I understand religion like can instill those type of foundational

things morals and everything but like I hope that I am able to do that on my own without religion I hate it also like I had to go to you know Sunday school and we went to mass every Sunday and all this stuff And it's like oh my god my kids like you know Picturing them going through that they would be like dude. I fucking hate you man Yeah, right if I made them do that now, where's the iPad? In Georgia Church once and Isla is this I mean this kid staring at me I go what she goes Why are we here and I go we mean she goes you like this, I mean, this kid staring at me, I go, what? She goes, why are we here?

And I go, what do you mean? She goes, you like this? I go, no. She goes, well, why are we here? I go, I go Nana and Papa. She goes, we could leave, right? Like, we don't have to stay here. And I'm like, where was that brain for me as a child?

Now, I'm gonna push back. I'm gonna say, I just watched Conclave. Do you watch Conclave? I did. Spoiler alert, it's a check. Didn't really love the ending, yeah., it's the ace venture of religious movies. Yeah The buildup was fantastic Because you just ended the movie being like we picked you know

This is like my favorite genre of like of films are like thrillers sometimes suspense You know like and it's all about building up, and then the reveal, the reveal, like, who killed, or what's the thing, and so you're waiting, and you're like, oh man, this is building, so well, the actors are phenomenal, it's well directed, the tension, you're like, oh shit, what's it gonna be?

And then I gotta tell you, when it's revealed, I was like, you gotta be fucking kidding me. They should've gone full-edged Ventura and had all the priests go, ugh. You remember Dan Marino? Dan Marino was like, ugh. Oh, it's like, dude, ugh. Ugh.

Ugh. I mean, what a great, I watch that with my daughters. My daughters are kind of woke. The first thing they say is, they see us Ventura and they're like, are we laughing at a special needs person? And I go, no, no, it's different. And they're like, no laughing at a special needs person? No, no, it's different. They're like no dad. That's yeah, and then by the end He's just a transgendered female My boys watched it last week a spring tour is your yeah, they're six and nine and they're like

This is the greatest fucking thing of all time. I can't wait to get to like actual movies I'm still in like the despicable. Yeah Patrol yeah, they love lost their minds. Yeah Kids what trips do you want to take with your kids? How old your kids? About to be six four and two man boy girl boy Three is a lot three's a lot three's a lot. You're outnumbered It's a lot. Yeah, man. I just we just came back from Hawaii and

I went to a resort that I've taken my girls to like ten times and No, I mean that's that's over. It's probably five times and and We had so much fun at this fucking resort that I started thinking, the podcast move, and I always think like, how do you monetize it, whatever. It's like planning trips for families, like doing family trips, like not this like, we're a family, we're gonna live in a van and we all work out and we all eat liver, you know, whatever.

But like planning trips for families because man There are some fun family trips. Yeah, and then there's some that aren't worth it that you go Maybe I my kids don't need to see Bali right, you know, like Dave this Hawaii's just as good as Bali. Yeah I we go to I haven't I take my kids on some trips some trips They're not invited to because it's like, you know, what's too young man A two-year-old is like When we go anywhere near a pool. He just tries to kill himself of course you know also every time I do the road people like you bring your kids I'm like we're in four cities in four nights right like to have little guys right eventually. I love that

Yeah, I'm gonna take my the final fours in Indianapolis. I'm gonna take my son to that because it's a drive You know yeah, you gotta be awesome. son to that, because it's a drive, you know what I mean? That's gonna be awesome. That'll be awesome. But no, there is a place we go to in the Bahamas, Bahamar, have you guys ever been there? No. It's the best, and I say this because I'm a very easy guy.

If you give me a pool and a casino, I'm in. So it's a full resort, but there's a full casino, sports book, there's like 20 restaurants on the resort There's also a free water park Attached to it and it's like I do this without my kids I've asked you a version of this before but like for like like that vacation. Do you go in with like a number? Yeah, so you go. I'm just gambling this yeah, and then I'll probably hit the ATM again, but yeah I actually did well this trip.

Really? Oh, good. So can I ask you as a person who, I have the things I like. Yeah, Bert, you text me every now and then being like, is this a good bet? I'm like, dude, you're like, I know I gamble a lot. You saved me like 10 grand.

I think you wanted to bet like Baker Mayfield on the MVP. No, no, no, no, no. And by the way, I'm so excited for the fucking box. Shiloh Sanders is gonna be a Jersey I'm buying okay and then what are you gonna do when he gets cut fucking he's not getting cut god damn it listen where you think she's gonna end up I have a really good question yeah what about Shador haha I don't think he's gonna I think it'd be a good backup somewhere

for not including maybe in Cleveland a long time. Not in Cleveland. Maybe in Cleveland. Maybe he'll stick around in Cleveland. He's okay. He's just like, you have to have incredible arm talent in the NFL. You have to have something that's elite. But maybe he can make it as a backup and that's a pretty good life.

Chase Daniel made millions and millions of dollars. I think someone did a breakdown. He made $300,000 per pass attempt. That's pretty cool. Because he was in the NFL for so long and he just, he would get in every now and then. And his brain still works? Yeah, right, right.

That's kind of cool. Yeah, yeah. Now here's my great question, because I'm a journalist. So like when I go on vacation with the girls when they were younger, there was always like a, I monitored my drinking because I didn't wanna get out of control, but there was a little bit of where

I got loose. Do you do that with gambling so that your kids don't see the gambling? No, no, they know. So like you go to the Final Four, he's getting dad and a little bit of big cat. Yeah, well, in my house, there's, in my house there's specific times where the game's on and my kids will be like,

who are you rooting for, like what color? I'm like, we're rooting for both. We have the over, we want, when this team has the ball, we want them to score, when this team has the ball, we want them to score. So they probably don't really understand how sports work. They don't get it at all. No, I, yeah, it's, I mean, it is, I've said it before,

I maybe even said on this show, like.'re going to have a real funny conversation in school. And they're like, we like all teams. Yeah, right. Yeah, it's like, we like points. But yeah, no, I've been lucky enough that I can gamble. Are you guys racist? No. Black people make dads smile.

We need points. Can they score? Can they get can they score? Can they put the ball in the hoop? But yeah, really, my only hobby is gambling. So I know that it's probably a little bit of a shame. Points can they score can they get can they score can they put the ball in the hoop? But yeah, I'm really all my only hobby is gambling so yeah I know that it's probably I never try to think about how much I've lost in my life Because that would make me sick, but I also know that I've been lucky enough to make a lot

So yeah, just keep it kind of balances out that kind of I need to get to a point where like I've talked to my financial advisors like about retirement and I'm not gonna retire anytime soon, but what's the point where I have enough money that I can just lose it all? For the rest of my life, you know what I mean? Because that's what's, because I'm not gonna retire and not gamble.

So I gotta figure out, I gotta figure out how much I can have that I can then be like, all right, we're okay with losing all of this, and then you just die with nothing. Well the problem with gambling for me. I'll speak for Tom too. I've seen Tom gamble Tom gambles like you gamble, but like I'm not the only time it's interesting. It's like fucking cheating on your wife. Who's gonna wear a condom, right? It's like if you're cheating on your wife fucking raw dog, right? That's the way it works Yeah, like if you if you cheat on your wife and she goes did you wear a condom?

You're like, you've never heard about cheating apparently. So but that's what same thing with gambling I actually totally disagree with that. But go ahead you'd wear a condom. I well first of all, I wouldn't cheat on my wife I wouldn't cheat on my wife either No, I'm gonna sell for a real reason I've like I Come way too fast to like it would be like 45 seconds to ruin my entire life You know, I mean like fuck like a porn star then you'd be like, oh we'll consider it But like I think about like the embarrassment in the 45 seconds and been like your life's over now Can I can I miss you a bar stool challenge?

Me and you wife a wife love that explanation by the way Well, she also loves it because she always asks like, you know, the hypothetical is you do with your wife You're like if I died, what would you, like would you remarry? I'm like, listen, if you died like tomorrow, high end prostitutes rest of my life. That's love. That's love.

That's love. That's love. I don't want to put the time into fucking, it's like when you get a new dog, I don't want to potty train him. I'd like the old dog to follow me around next to my heels. Right.

God, those fucking great dogs, man. The, what were we talking? gambling gambling gambling gambling I'm a little drunk the 1130 in Chicago yeah the Thing gambling for me is it only works when it hurts. Oh, yeah, like it does Oh, yeah, you can't you can't go in oh, yeah, and go $100 and then it matter. That's where that's that's the whole thing It keeps going on. That's the right. I had a run this

Spring in March. I won 16 straight bets and I was just going up and up and up I didn't lose a bet until like March 10th. It was like the biggest thing people were waiting for my pick It was incredible. But the problem was, every bet got a little bit bigger. And then when I finished, when I finally lost, I was like, well, what do I do now? Like, I gotta kinda stay at this level. So it probably fucked me up in the long run. I learned it, like, the emotional part of it,

with Blackjack, because I love Blackjack. And there's this thing where you're, you know, you go to a table, let's say, and, you know, people have different approaches, but typically I would start like small, right? Right. Like just kind of like, oh, let's start. So I'm like, here's a small bet,

and I'm winning, and then next hand winning. And you're like, I'm not feeling anything. Push it, yeah. Yeah, because, but like there's no charge. Right. So then you go, you know, whatever, here's a thousand dollars. Then you're like, you know, and then if you win, you're like there's no charge right so then you go you know whatever. Here's a thousand dollars Then you're like you know and then if you you when you're like yes, yeah, you finally go

Oh, here's the emotion yeah, but if you lose it You're like fuck you don't want it You don't want to sit at a blackjack table for two hours and be like I won't I won 50 bucks No the if you guys been to Dana White's tunnel of chaos Didn't wait seen it so he's got his casino. He goes to Red Rocks. Yeah the You win that money, then you get up and go. And so like you, I literally said, I want to win $15,000. Like, OK, gambles it. Like, I think I played three hands, won $15,000, stood up and left.

He's like, get out of here. Yeah. And like, but it's it. Will Compton sat down. I think he was down like 300K at one point. But it's like, and it's like that feeling of like, is this my money or Dana's money? I don't really know what's going on.

But then you just he just fought back and fought back Dana keeps going so you guys gotta go to the tunnel But what but what is the what is the? Allure for guy like Dana or Michael Jordan. I think he likes watching other people win, too Well, he that's fun. He likes to win right the the the appeal to him is that he is an elite Business man. Yeah, who has had Massive wins right like we're talking The appeal to him is that he is an elite businessman who has had massive wins, right? Like we're talking like billion dollar sales. And like, he goes to these UFC events,

you know, the gate is fucking 6.8 million and you know, there's this many people doing pay per view. Like it's just, it's a charge, right? Because he's devoured success. And so when he's not in that environment, he's just like, this shit's lame. Yeah, right. Sitting around sucks.

Right. So I'll go here, I'm gonna bet $400,000 on that hand. And then if he wins that hand, he's just like, fuck yeah, there it is again. There's that feeling of like, I just won half a million dollars in two minutes. Yeah, winning. He wants to win.

That's Jordan too. Yeah, exactly, right. Like he doesn't have a gambling problem in two minutes. Yeah winning. Yeah, what's the win? Yeah, that's Jordan to yeah It's like you're right like he doesn't have a gambling problem. He's a competition problem exactly Yeah, so it's a compete. He wants to compete dude. All right. We should where you guys next on your tour Tom's on tour right now. I'm going I'm flying to Springfield, Massachusetts right now Albany and Rochester well, I was like there's a lot of Springfield's huh? Oh, there never mind Albany and Rochester. Well, I was like, there's a lot of Springfield's, huh? Oh, there's a few Bitch when he drive Shit about you last night Massachusetts wait, so realize that no you thought of Springfield

Foxy flying for why are we on such a tight schedule? I don't like driving. I gotta watch your new show too. Please do. Yeah, I've been watching Mobland. Have you guys watched it? Hold on, don't talk about what happened on Sunday. I haven't watched Sunday's episode. Hold on. Have you watched Mobland? Let me just give you a pitch on Mobland. It's basically if they speed run Sopranos and like every episode is its own like action movie that it's not really a lot of depth but it's cool shit it's almost as good as mega markel show really hold on we're not done with you i know you have to go hold on mob land's fucking amazing yeah real quick real quick tom hardy hasn't slept have you noticed that yeah he hasn't it's like two weeks in the show where's

my late was in london uh and it's on uh paramount paramount yeah it's like two weeks in the show. Where's Mobland? In London. And it's on? Paramount. Paramount, yeah, it's like a weird one to find. Yeah. I had to buy a fucking Paramount account. I always forget it. Yeah, I just take great pre-tricks. Can you just sell it to Netflix?

Yeah. We're done. Anyway, Mobland's great. Tom Hardy has this weird thing where he kind of does one thing. Yeah. And I'm there for every time he does it. I don't even think he's acting. I don't think he's acting on it.

I think he's just like, hey, Tom, just be a fucking badass. He's uh that movie that havoc came out. Yeah entertaining movie. Yeah, like yeah No, everything he's entertaining. Yeah, it's like he's just a badass. Do you think if I? Looked at a house with Colin Farrell one time. Okay, look we were looking at the same house No, we were looking at the same house at the same time. Yeah, man. I could fucking that's a sick brag I could listen. No, it was not a nice house. It was for his sister. He was looking for his sister.

Were you looking for yourself? I was looking for me. Okay. I tore Dr. Dre's house one time. Are you serious? Yeah, I almost bought it, but then I was like, I don't want this house. It was in Woodland Hills.

He lived in Woodland Hills, in the same house that he bought in like 93. Little fixer upper. Well, it was weird. It looked like a castle and I didn't know it was his house. And I pull up and I'm like, this is a weird fucking house, right? And then the guy is giving us the tour and he's like,

yeah, you know, the guy's in the music business. I was like, oh, who is it? He goes, oh, you know, I can't say who it is. I was like, oh, okay. And then there's like really old shit, like you know where you go, this data, this needs to be totally renovated. Then you turn a corner and something's

totally state of the art. I was like, what happened here? He's like, oh, they did this room. And you're like, okay. And then the kitchen looks like it's 200 years old. And then the theater is like state of, and you're like, and then outside by the pool, they renovated a section

that had like a fire pit. And I was like, dude, this is the most crazy, like just piecemeal kind of thing. And he's like, yeah, his daughter, she's going to college in the fall. I go, oh, it's Dr. Dre. And he was like, fuck, yeah, it's Dr. Dre. Because I had just read an article about it.

I go, this is Dre's house? And they're like, yeah, I go, this is terrible. And then he moved from that house to the one that Brady had built in Brentwood. So he went from this house to a $40 million Brentwood estate. But it was a weird house in Woodland Hills. And you'd see him driving around, because for a gym, instead of having a house gym, he got a commercial gym

in like a strip mall. Yeah. As a personal gym. That's awesome. So you would see you'd see that. We're looking at your flex. You have a gym. Yeah, I know. You have a crunch in here. Yeah, it's a planet fitness. You have a fucking planet fitness in here. Basically, it would be like if he bought though a Planet Fitness and left the name Planet Fitness

and he's like, no one's allowed to come here. Yeah, right, this is your place. Yeah. That's awesome. And so like they would have like the, he would always get mad at people parking in the gym spaces, because they're like, there's no gym members. It's just you.

Do you look at this, Tom, and do you go, this is what YMH could be? This place? Because Tom's, have you ever been to Tom's studio? No I haven't. But it looks a lot like an abortion clinic. Like it looks like people just, when they walk out no one's smiling. They're like oof oof.

But this place is yeah, I mean the one rule I made too of this place is like everyone has to show up. Everyone has to show up to work. Because like there's a lot of times where you don't, you know like if you're blogging or you're doing, you come and do your podcast and you leave. I was like, everyone has to show up because the magic is. Can you cut to my face? Cut to my fucking face?

Hey guys, at Birdie Boy Entertainment. Huh? The fuck work from home? You don't work from home, means? You don't work from home, means? I'm not working today. I know you're not allowed to say this, HR. This is fucking bullshit.

You show up to work because being there is the fucking creative part. Well in our in our line of work like the you can't do it on zoom No, you can't it sucks can't zoom sucks to you have to you have to be in the mix together That's where everything the magic happens. So I'm getting a it's too bad. You guys came now if you came a week later I just bought a industrial soft-serve ice cream machine We're gonna upgrade some shit. That's my I think we have we have some fun at our dude. We have an come on. What are you talking? No, it's cool. It's like going to the dentist. It's not like you walk in scared and you leave

No, it's can you throw a ball around? Oh, well, first of all, we don't have the size No, it's can you throw a ball around? Oh, well first of all we don't have the size Well, I'm just asking can you if I came to your office? I was like Tom. Let's have a catch. Oh, where yeah, we could Over any said no Into the You having a you know, I'm gonna do as As soon as I fucking get back, I'm playing catch and I'm sending you the video. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he is, Tom is, they call them liars. Tom, if you go in, Tom has,

I'm gonna really break apart your studio. First of all, you can't walk in the door like you could here. No, you can't walk in the door. You gotta go, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, It's called security, Dan. We have security, guys.

And then a twink comes out. What's his name? Dan. Tanner. Tanner comes out and he's like, oh hey, oh hey, cool. And you're like, hey, is Tom here yet? No, he's running late. You want coffee?

Reed's got you coffee. And you're like, cool, Tanner. And then all the branding is so that you know Tom isn't racist. It's just black people painted everywhere. Like it is, it is. What is it? Kobe Bryant? He's never watched a fucking Lakers game in his life.

He's got a mural of Kobe Bryant in the fucking studio. And then some Latina chicks, right? It's like Tom grew up in LA as like Cholo. And then, and then you, and then, and then everyone's scared. You ever go into a like a rescue? Everyone's scared. You walk into a rescue place where they rescue puppies, and the puppy's like, grr, grr.

That's Eni. Then you see Chad. Woof, woof, woof. Zolo's like, I don't wanna touch, I don't wanna touch, I don't wanna touch. That's the whole fucking place. And Ryan's place. Ryan's is right by the door.

Sounds pretty true. I mean, there's a guy, he works there too. Yeah, but he's right by the door so he can leave, and you can get drinks in his office. Ryan, could we have a catch? Absolutely. Where the fuck could we have a catch Okay Multiple places

Hey guys, whatever tennis ball I want a catch of all sort. I want a lacrosse catch Frisbee catch baseball catch I want all these catches. And then I'm going to show you what it's like to work in a fucking den of snakes. Okay, first of all, you know what his fucking place is like, right? I mean, I assume it's just his house and he makes everyone go there. Well, it's a house that- Not far off. It's a house that is like like we're yarn collectors get together

Such a fucking shit If they even visit They would they would basically sue you guys for S.A. Just for existing. They would exist sue you. It's the complete polar opposite. It's a bunch of broads just sitting around being like, you know, I think it's a good idea. And like, uh oh.

I'm like, how do you fucking do this, dude? You need to hire a couple Barstool people, man. I have to fucking bring Minci out here. We got a couple we could throw your way. They will ruin your life. They will ruin your life. I have none of, what's old Canadian? Oldie. Oldie?

I have none of that energy in my house and I want it. Flapjacks? Flapjacks. He's got side pockets. I want that energy in my house. He want it. Flapjacks? Flapjacks, yeah, he's got side pockets. I want that energy in my house. He's a gem, a trash man. And we just like, we had him on one streamer like this guy we have to have.

And he moved here. No, he still lives in Toronto. He's got a wife and two kids, but whenever we need him, he comes down. Holy shit. Dude, I got it. You can edit this out if you need to, I got it. What?

You know how I've always wanted to adopt a Down syndrome dude? Right. I don't, I don it. You can edit this out if you need to. I got it. What? You know how I've always wanted to adopt a Down syndrome dude? I don't, I know. Yeah, I want it cause, cause That's not oldie by the way. No, I know, but He's Canadian. Yeah, which is a little, but yeah.

You're getting confused here. I'm gonna hire, I'm gonna hire an intern, a Down syndrome intern just to break up the female energy. Dude, right? Dude, fucking positive as fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Break up that female energy. I got too much female energy.

I got too much. Maybe we go for like an autistic guy. No, fuck autistic. We got it. We got it. We got it. We got a few. Take that out or keep it in. But no, but I'm like, take it out because no one will take it out. God damn it. But no, but like but I'm so tired of these fucking grown men

saying they're autistic, and you just gotta deal with a rude dude. No, that's not. And you're like, oh, so I'm on your page, you tell me everything, and I just can't disagree. No, hold on, you know what I'm talking about too, don't you? No, I know a few people like that.

Yeah, it's fucking exhausting. Yeah, no. Enough. Anybody who has any social quirk that is not positive Yeah, yeah, he's autistic. Yeah, he goes. I'm autistic and you're like, I don't think you are. Yeah, right You're kind of right. You just don't like talking to people. Yeah You never got into watch cars you in the cars now, what do you know just gambling? Yeah, I Dream of someday like getting some old cars. That'd be cool, but I don't know shit about cars

Um, I watch are you like a real estate guy though? Like you know, no, you don't like a place somewhere magical No, no, just As it gets I don't really change Just gamble steak or fish Steak. All right. Uh, what are we doing? Are you garbage? Oh? See chains though you got chains on you. I do I have a couple do you This actually was you guys know rhone one of one of the most talented guys we have a couple of... This actually was, you guys know Rhone,

one of the most talented guys we have at Barstool. He got me this. This is the gambling saint. Hasn't really helped, but trying. And then this is an asteroid that my wife has a matching one from they mined an asteroid in Africa. Bro, you should get a massive medallion that is an iced out actual big cat like a puma. That should that would be

Big cat that lives here. Can I can I pick you on Savannah? Savannah cats? Do you know what Savannah cats are? No, bro Sounds like a problem Sounds like a problem. Again, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if there are by the way I'm in love with mincy. You know that because you don't work with them No, because because me and him have the exact same musical taste. Oh, did you have you gone to the sphere? Yeah for dead and company, of course. Yeah. Yeah, I went lat two weekends ago. Those are my fourth time Are you a dead? Yeah big time Are you being fucking serious? Yeah, how did I not know that? I don't know Are you like are you like are you like wait? Is there anything else about you that we don't know?

There you dare me not like okay, okay Brent No, it's Bert. No Brent if that was what you're gonna ask wait no It knows Bert. No Brent if that was what you're gonna ask wait no You're gonna ask me what my favorite keyboard is is it's Brent the 80s. No, it's not what I was waiting. We are Top five favorite dead songs and and don't go you got to do it changes so much Right now. Mm-hmm Warfrat Althea Althea's crazy fingers

help on the way slipknot Franklin's Tower, he's gone and He's got standing on the moon Jesus Christ. Can I tell you what a liar John Mayer is? He says the man but watch guy Maybe the biggest yeah, maybe the biggest Last year when I went to the sphere. I just posted a picture being like, you know, this is awesome He DME is like hey come come to my green room before the show tomorrow night and hang out I'm going for like 20 minutes coolest guy ever. Yeah, just like one-on-one. It was awesome. That's awesome. He is the man He's awesome. You spoke mayor. I gotta go in four minutes. Hold on How do you do this?

We should make a trade. You get like for like a month. He's gonna sell me in a second. He's gonna sell me in a second. And then we can go to therapy together. Yeah, yeah. Well, then we do a podcast at the end and we talk about it.

Yeah, we'll tell them to go to therapy. You don't think John would sell me? Dude, do you see what I deal with? I'm like, no, you see what I deal with? No, John would sell me and I'm like, dude, do you see what I deal with? I'm like, no, you see what I deal with? Yeah. No, I actually, I think we should try that. We should do that.

Yeah. You, we should absolutely do that. You doing a podcast with Mincy and then me having to have Burch in the office. You'll learn a lot about Mincy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he'll tell you. Everything. By the way, it's no, it's no, it's not, we connected so quickly.

Yeah, I know, you guys are the same. Oh, that's who you were talking to? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I was like, who the fuck is this guy? Dude, we were going off on Billy Strings and fucking widespread damage. He's been fired, he did a live show on, he has a live show, Wake Up, Mincy, and the show landed on the first of the month and he celebrated by singing Bone Thugs in harmony

and decided to do the lyrics live. Yeah. That's a good call. So he got fired for a little bit, now he's back. It's the first of the month, wake up, wake up. He just went right through it. I'm looking for John Mayer's number. All the words. All the words.

Oh yeah. All the words. Oh wow. Yes, yes. John Mayer says Althea was his introduction song. Yes it was. It's not. It's never, I'm just saying it's too deep of a song for someone to go. No I believe it. I can't. Okay. I'm stuck on the fact that you get introduced by the dead on one of the songs we never listened to anymore. For a lot of people, it was Touch of Grey. And by the way, I'll even go deeper and say that I now rediscovered how great of a song Touch of Grey was. Oh, yeah. That's the best part about Dead is you just keep, like,

my favorite songs shift from week to week, month to month. You find a new show. You find a new song. It's the best. Are you going to the ones in the? I don't think I'm going to be able to make it because of the schedule. Yeah, it was going to be sick.

I want to go so bad. To where? They're doing Grateful Dead's 60 year anniversary in San Francisco in August. And I don't think I'm gonna go make it cuz schedule. Yeah, I was gonna go so bad where production They're doing a Grateful Dead 60 year anniversary in San Francisco in August. Yeah, Billy strings and Sturgill Simpson Do you do you do you like do you like edibles and yeah mushrooms mushrooms? Yeah. Yeah, nice. Do you like DMT? No, I can't say I've done a lot of DMT. Do you want to hit it real quick? No, I'm good. The vape pen is the best thing ever. Yeah, the DMT one. Okay, incredible. Yeah. Yeah, I'll take your word for it Oh, you want to know I'll take your word for it. That's what taking your word for it is I just I just I believe you. Here's the thing 15 minutes. You feel like you're gonna die or be paralyzed

This is great. And then you come back and you're like, holy shit, I'm still alive. This is crazy, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you guys are, I think you guys are kinda bored if you're just casually doing TMT. I did it last night. I'm gonna find something else for you.

Hey, I wanna say thank you. Yeah, thanks again, man. Thank you for letting us come here. Yeah, anytime you guys are in town, you need it. It's the coolest thing about the industry that we're in is there's like a shared camaraderie and to show us around this place. Yeah.

And it's amazing. We specifically built extra podcast studios for exactly this. Like, Brandon Marshall came with Cam Newton and then he, Brandon Marshall came back like four days in a row just doing his show every day. I was like taking a piss at the urinal and he was just standing next to me. Wow. Okay.

It's addicted. Anytime you guys are here, you need a spot. Really appreciate it man. You're always welcome. Thank you. Thanks guys. Thank you very much. Thank you guys for watching.

Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week. Bert and Tom, Tom and Bert. One goes to the top and swallows the other, wears the shirt. Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call two bears, one cave. There's a shirt, Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean Here's what we call, Two Bears, One Cave