2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Trump LOVES Bert w/ Lil Rel Howery | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Episode Date: July 15, 2024

SPONSORS: Head to https://acorns.com/bears or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today! Visit https://NetSuite.com/BEARS and get NetSuite's one-of-a-kind flexible financing program for a few more weeks! Go to https://bluechew.com and use promo code BEARS. We're back with another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are joined by comedian and actor Lil Rel Howery! Rel talks to the Bears about the new age of comedy we're presently in and how the rise of the internet changed the game completely. They also talk about their individual lifestyle changes and how easily vices derail those choices. Bert proposes a question about sex with non-English speakers, before they talk about Waka Flocka Flame's newfound love of Donald Trump. This leads into a discussion about how old men need to quit being politicians, how Donald Trump is "ghetto", and the absurdity of modern American politics. The trio also chat about dangerous neighborhoods, Denzel Washington, Eddie Murphy's comedic influence, Michael Jordan, comedy specials, the original ending of Jordan Peele's "Get Out", movie stars, and much more! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 245 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

100% It's interesting how segregated Chicago are we rolling Halston? Okay. Yeah. Hey guys bring up said Lurel Hey before we go any further we should point out that Harold in the purple crayon comes out all you say August Yeah, and that your your festival the what's Funny Comedy Festival is in September in Chicago. That's what we were just talking about. We were just talking about that.

We were just talking about the festival. That's going to be funny shit. I'm so like, if I can explain to y'all like this crazy idea I have for this second half of my career, which I've been calling it. I'm dying to hear this because that's all I think about. My second half, an OnlyFans page. Yeah, it's just, it's kind of thinking from an executive perspective about things. So like, doing a comedy festival, want to direct a gang of comedy movies and write them

and green light stuff. So I've been thinking on that, like just being a very hilarious George Lucas. Yeah, that's a really, yeah. I think we're all thinking along the same lines because that's the dream I think. And it's all very possible too. You know what's funny? We can actually, as the comics thinking like that,

now be the first generation to do that type of stuff because it's funny, me and Gerard Carmichael had this conversation. We always talk about how like comedy still is kind of a new art form. everything is like like these the first richest comics We've ever seen like people being like legitimate millionaires. Yeah in comedy like this just happened Just so everything is still kind of new for us, you know And so just it's really interesting because I do believe that we should start putting ourselves in more executive positions

Like to have people who greenlight specials that never wrote a joke or understand none of that shit is fucking weird. And you really can because this is the generation because of technology that you have a direct to fan-based relationship. That didn't exist before. Yep. Like, I mean, you know, when people like are doing this, putting out their own specials, like I think about when Schultz did that, like that was, and he marketed it so well, and it was just like straight to, that was unheard of. Literally, you could not, it didn't even,

the platform didn't exist for it. And now there's nothing stopping, like specials have been done. The next step is, I I think features and shows where people just go we'll just make them ourselves. Well that's my point too like like at some point are you comfortable when it's just not you? Yeah. And so right now everything's still like self, yes, self, self, self. So it's like, all right cool, are you comfortable saying hey I can do your special, I know how to do this, I

got you, where you can actually really make some money from it. And I'm just, I'm the exec that you will go to at Hulu or HBO. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, for real. I think it's some really interesting. I think about that all the time. I started thinking about like, like how Robert Townsend and King and Ivey Wayne's name was asked to like run a studio. Or run head of comedy. After they've done stuff, literally use credit cards to pay for it so they know how to do stuff from not having money and to really having a budget. And nobody was like, here take all this.

You should run our comedy. Yeah, a thousand percent. Yeah, well the only person who's gonna think like that is another comic who gets it until you prove it, right? Somebody's gonna, cause they'll always follow the money. If you're successful at that, they're gonna be like, we should hire 50 comics to do this shit. Yeah, somebody has to do it first.

Gillis is doing a, what he's doing is, cause I'll tell you, I was in meetings maybe 18 months ago where I was like, yeah, I got an idea. I just want to shoot it. I just want to make it. You did that. You did that with Netflix. He did, he told me the same thing.

He goes, I'm not going to run through notes. I'm just going to make what I want. And then I'll show it to you. And then if you want to do that, we can do that. But that's what I want to make it you did that you did that with Netflix. Yeah, he did tell me the same thing He goes I'm not gonna run through notes I'm just gonna make what I want and then I'll show it to you and then if you want to do that we can do That but that's what I want to do. Let me tell you this while you over there So you too far so I have five you but that's one of the you know Reasons why I'm doing my special at the festival. I had like one meeting with a studio or network or whatever recently and I get off the phone like Why the fuck am I taking notes from this motherfucker? Yeah.

Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? You don't know. What are you... What are you... First of all, you're not going to tell me I can't do the material. Right. Because I've seen the other specials, so you let people do what they want anyway. You just want me to send you this shit just to be sending you some shit.

Definitely. That doesn't make sense to me. I know. I know. I know and that process is, it's antiquated. I mean like, so I had this idea for a show and like you could go the traditional route where they were like, all right, take it in and pitch it. And I was like, let's just shoot it.

So that's what we did. We just made it. And then now they ended up buying it after seeing it. But I was like, that just eliminated like a-long process, you know, like to be I've been in a 19 month development deal. Yeah Same time you made that I said all let's do a deal. Yeah, I'm still in that 19 month right see like it's there is nothing as painful as

mobile TV and feature painful as well but a TV and feature it's just waiting for fucking assistance to line up people's schedules I had a call the other I had a call yesterday about a movie I'll tell you about it after because I think but uh yeah I think is yeah yeah why don't I don't move and I was like and I was like like you know what we'd like to do we'd love to get you know I went no no no no pull me out of it I'm a yes to everything get everything moving forward I agree I agree a hundred percent I went, no, no, no, no, pull me out of it. I'm a yes to everything. Get everything moving forward. I agree.

I agree 100%. I'll agree with everyone on the page. You don't need my notes. Get it going. Let's go. When do I move? I'm fucking, I'm like, dude, the majority of a movie is figured out when he goes action. I don't need to fucking sit with a writer.

I go, I got you. You're good. You're good. That's so crazy you say that. I think it's such a waste of time, man. It's like, especially now, because Hollywood is kind of weird, so stuff is taking even longer now.

And a lot of times it's a dick contest in a way, where it's like, my stuff is so much more important. Like fam, are you gonna do it or not? If not, let me go. It's almost like going like, yo like to be the fucking chick at the bar that just goes hey I'm not gonna fuck you yeah yeah thank you for the heads up I was gonna waste some time with you yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah for sure I had a chick do that to me once at a bar probably more than once I'm not gonna fuck you you don't know why you're Probably more than once. I'm not gonna fuck you.

You don't know why you're wasting your time on me. I'm not gonna fuck you. That's really... Considerate. Cool. That's really cool. I was like, hey, can we be friends? Will you find out what other chicks don't want to fuck me? Really skinny up my hour.

It's also like when men could just start being honest too. Like, yo, I'm not gonna satisfy you. Like, as soon as I'm cum, I won't care about whatever you got going on. Just just being nice. You're gonna have to be pretty special in bed for me to want to listen to you after. Like I won't please you. I'm going to sleep and have hard really fast. I can't imagine sleeping in bed with a stranger. Yeah, I've done it. in bed with a stranger. Yeah, I've done it. It's crazy that Renee snores. Well, basically, yeah, I'm engaged, but yeah. This is my second time around, so

like I would have ringed and everything now. I'm out. I'm so happy and comfortable with my one. I'm so happy with her. I'm in a really interesting part of my life with like just making all these second half of life decisions. It's even like, you know, when I came in early, he's like, oh, you look smaller. Yeah, I like, I'm a lunatic. I work out every fucking day. Like some lunatic. I've been doing this like 2019. Bro, how much are you down? I don't know.

You don't even know? Nope. I stopped weighing myself like three years ago. Because I didn't want the pressure. Because sometimes, you know, you're a shooter movie and you're gang stuff. And you like, I don't want to do that. But you're just like super healthy. I just feel good. That's all I care about is feeling good.

It's great. Yeah, scales like Twitter. I don't need to see what's on there. Me neither. That shit go up and down all the fuck. It literally depends on what you got going on. If you take a vacation with the family and you guys just eating bullshit all week, then you're going to be irritated.

Like, I'd rather not know. I didn't look after I got, I just got back from vacation, I didn't look. Really? No. I didn't wanna see the damage. You don't wanna see the damage, man. All them fucking kebabs and fuck it.

Here's the, okay, here's the question though. Let's talk about dieting for a second and eating right, okay? So I get, I just did my special and I was eating very clean for two months. For two months I ate perfectly clean. Protein, oh, drank, I drank. I'm not a fucking pussy months, I ate perfectly clean. Protein, oh, drank, I drank. I'm not a fucking pussy. And you ate perfectly clean?

I was down in the 220s for my special. I was eating perfect. And I noticed I didn't have any stomach problems. I didn't have anxiety. Like I was just doing really well. Then I see my special and I'm on Instagram and I'm just looking at cheeseburgers going, I'm fucking food up.

I'm fucking food up. And I went to a Italian restaurant. Not only did I got pasta, they had a pasta pot pie. They had baked it into a cake. Wow. Pasta and a cake? And a cake. I was fucking in the middle of the night,

I'm throwing up my throat. I'm like, the fuck is wrong with me? I was feeling perfect six hours ago. I can't help it. I can't. You gotta pick and choose what you're gonna do. Like I know, I mean I eat as clean as I can, but I do eat what I want and that's why I work out a lot.

That's that. I had a friend who's always been in shape and he eats what the fuck he wants since I've known him. And that was the goal like, you know, I want to be this motherfucker. He looks great and he literally eats Whatever the fuck he wants cuz he's this what he do. What's your vice food wise? It's Chicago shit, but that's why I love living in LA cuz they don't they don't sell none of that shit here Yeah, yeah, you know but when I go back home which when we get to this festival. I'm not waiting

I'm I'm right to bring a trainer with me like fam're gonna have to fucking, because I'm gonna eat at least two Italian beefs a day. Okay, okay. Fucking, Italian beef is one of the best goddamn sandwiches in the, by the way, Portello's? Portillo's. Portillo's is fucking- Now, it's one out this way, near Knott's Berry Farm. I've been to that one.

And like, the kids are fucking weird, because they're like, why the fuck we gotta go to Portillo's? Like, we go to Portillo's in the morning, we'll go to fucking Park Open, and I'll eat a fucking Italian beef for breakfast. Wow. I can't f*** for it. And I'll have heartburn for the rest of the fucking day.

Oh, all the hot peppers. All the hot peppers. Yeah. Dude, I'll tell you I've never once in my entire life gone through Chicago airport and not gotten a Chicago hot dog. The Chicago hot dog is the best presentation of a hot dog. Out of all hot dogs, there is to be presented. Chicago has great pizza. Luminati's. I mean, Beggars is my favorite spot. Really? And

most people don't even fuck because they you know you know New York got the flat fucking sausages. Yeah. You know fucking the real Italian sausage is in Chicago. That motherfuckers on there. Yeah. God damn. I just had an avocado for breakfast. I want cheeseburgers all day. That's like literally my favorite. And you know we got like in Austin we have, not a damn chant like Phil's Place with Neem. That place is, wow I'm going to Austin this weekend.

I mean I leave tonight actually. Do you know Neem Williams? Is it Neem Williams? Yeah. Do you know Neem Williams? Yeah, Neem. Yeah, skateboarder? Yeah, yeah.

Gray shape? I was the dude, I hit him up every time I come down and I go, let's work outem. Yeah, skateboarder. Yeah, yeah. Gray shape. I was a dude, I hit him up every time I come down. I go, let's work out together. I want to work out with that guy. He's a fucking beast. For real? He's a beast. Dude, he's someone, if I'm not mistaken, he used to party and then got sober and was

like, I'm going to fucking, I'm going to take care of my body. I stopped drinking too, which is crazy. When did that happen? I haven't had a drink since December 1st. Really? I ain't even thought about it, I ain't wanted it. You feel much better? Yeah, it's like honestly, I feel like it was the last step of,

like I kind of got a six pack now because of it. Wow. That's ironic. And I didn't realize, it's so funny, like as soon as I stopped drinking, and it was like, I was like, damn, I've been working. Cause sometimes I'll be like, I go so hard, why the stomach don't look the same? And then like literally when I stopped drinking, Just gone. It was like, oh shit,, damn, I've been working. Because sometimes I'll be like, I go so hard, why the stomach don't look the same?

And then like literally when I stopped drinking, it was like, oh shit, the sit ups work for real because I'm not drinking fucking a million double Tito's. Yeah. Was that your drink? That was my shit. Dude, we just. And we talked about that and a shot of Casamigos.

Like I could do it. When I think about it now, I'm like, I was fucking crazy. Sometimes I think about even when I'm driving, I'm not being honest, even when I'm driving sometimes, and I'm like, how the fuck did I like do this for real? This is crazy. It's funny you think that and then you get back into it and it's very achievable.

Yeah, yeah. I was sober for a while and then I got loose. I love when you do this. And now I've been really loose. Like I've been really loose. Like the kind of loose where you wake up a little depressed in the morning. I like when Burt goes, and then when I got sober,

so everyone's like, oh, so you're sober. He's like, no, no, I got sober for a couple months. I did that. Just to get healthy. Yeah, yeah. Investing can feel intimidating and people usually don't know where to start. Many people think you need a lot of money to invest.

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It's so funny. I've enjoyed, like, only thing I drink now is like a Heineken Zero. Really? I still like to taste the beer, but yeah. You smoke weed? Nope. So what do you do to go to sleep? That's funny you say that.

Like, I try to tire myself out as much as I can. That's the best. Because that's funny you say that. I realized that was helping me sleep was drinking. I realized that like, sleep is definitely a thing, right? Where I struggle with it. The only time I'm like, man, I slept like a baby, is when I do a two a day.

When I do a cardio session and a weightlifting session. So my body's kind of literally depleted. And then I get in bed and it's like, oh wow, I slept like a baby tonight. You know what makes me sleep really well? This goes sound fucking weird and I don't bed and it's like, oh wow, I slept like a baby tonight. You know what makes me sleep really well? This goes sound fucking weird and I don't give a fuck. It's like watching some good tennis. Really?

Yeah. Tennis, Wimbledon? So I'll be up watching Wimbledon. You know, it's like the rhythm of it. It starts like three in the morning. Yeah. And it's like, yeah. Can I give you a code for this?

I'm about to change your game. Watch Wimbledon or golf, but watch it in Spanish. Because you don't listen to what they're saying, you just hear it and it turns into like white noise and you hear the fucking ball and you hear the thing and you know the rhythms of it because dude, if it's English, I'll listen to what they're saying. But if I can get it in Spanish, I'll listen to what they're saying, but if I can get it in Spanish I can watch soccer Just it's so fucking relaxing. I found that out. They were doing we were redoing our house in our old house You gotta pick the right language looks like German or Arabic you're like fuck so so aggressive

and you're like, God damn, this is fucking hardcore. Spanish is a siesta fucking language. It wants you to go to sleep. It's so fucking good. You wanna fuck, you wanna drink, and you wanna sleep. Wow. Look at you. That's fucking, wow. They were doing reconstruction of our house,

and all they had was, we had like louvered doors, and so it was like open-daired. I mean, it was open-daired. And you could hear the guys talking and they would relax me so much. They'd just talk and they'd be like in Spanish and they'd play the ranchero music. Yeah.

I think you need to hire some full-time Spanish speakers around you. Or just get a Spanish sleep aid. Or just get a Mexican side chick. That's what I'm saying. Who doesn't speak any English. Mexican side chick. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking sleep next to a redneck. That'll's what I'm saying. Who doesn't speak any English. A Mexican side chick? Yeah. Yeah.

Fucking sleep next to a redneck. That'll keep you up all night. Oh Jesus. Oh, it's cold in here. That's so fucked up. It's like, yo, have your cleaning lady like, just tell her about your, tell me about your day and then you go to sleep.

Tell me about your day. Real quick, make my bed while I'm in it and tell me about your day. Yeah, in Spanish. In Spanish. Do you speak Spanish? No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah, no. Because it wasn't that, it just wasn't good English. Broken English. It was broken English. Yeah, I met these.

Were you like, did you trick her into like, you'll get a green card? No, I met these black girls from, They had to be from like Germany or something. I don't even know what the fuck they were speaking. In a lobby of a hotel. I think this is so specific, but I was doing a show with Felipe Esparza. He probably didn't even know this. And it was after the show, I just sat in the lobby and met these two random... They wasn't at the show or nothing.

They were just cool as fuck and we had a great time that night. Nice. So you had, wait, you had a threesome? Well, I don't know if it was a threesome. It was two beds. It was just me kind of... I mean, it's a true story. I can't believe they even told you this. So you'd go back and forth between beds?

You know, sometimes you had stories. You're just like, I'm going to keep this shit to myself. You're jumping back and forth like a young kid getting into a new hotel just jumping bed to bed. It was like I was being ran, but then like when they were talking in their language, I didn't know what the fuck they were saying. Like it was almost like, it's my turn, maybe. I don't fucking know.

Wow, that happened though. But it wasn't together, it was in a separate bed. Did you ever have sex with a non-English speaker? Girl from Liverpool. That's English. I know, but not really. Not really, and I've said this a million times, but this is true.

I was a big, I still am a big hip hop fan, but much younger, much bigger hip hop fan. And she drank kvassia and smoked cool cigarettes. And I thought this is what it smells like to fuck Tupac. That was your thought? The whole time. I was like, this is what it would smell like to have sex with Tupac.

I couldn't. And she was tongue tied, you know what that is? Where it's where your tongue doesn't leave your mouth, because it's connected at the bottom of your mouth. So she got on and told, what the fuck did you meet her? Comedy club. Comedy club. Her and her sister needed a place to stay and they stayed at my place one night and

then we went to Great Adventures or something that next day. And we did stand up again and then they came back and in the middle of the night they were on the couch and she came into my room. Comedians, we are fucking crazy. I remember like I did a college and I stayed there for extra week. Extra week? Yeah like like this fucking sorority house. Oh cuz you were having a good time. We were having so much fun. But that's a drinking move too. That's a hundred percent a drinking move. It was me and two other comics and I remember them talking shit about us They didn't know we was listening and so we started cleaning up his shit

Just this comedy is so fucking like we literally they was just being nice and we just stayed for a week We had shit else to do to the next weekend. Wow best. That's when you can tell the comics off the wagon Like when I text someone they're like, hey, you had, I'll say the real name, but then you gotta edit it out. You had this weekend, and they're like, hey, he's staying in Omaha. And you're like, okay. Is he, what is he, he got meetings?

Staying somewhere is definitely a point. Just staying, just fucking not going. Just literally just hanging out. I've had those weekends where I was like, you know what, I'm on the, it was the worst on tour doing theater, so I'd do Sunday and then we'd have shows Wednesday.

So I'd be like, fuck it, let's do, why am I gonna fly home Monday to come home at back out Tuesday and we just stay. And those were like the best days. Days off on the road, if it's not a lot, or mate, like I've had a few runs where they're like, just because of the routing. They're like you got show Wednesday, Thursday off, and then a show Friday.

I'm like this is the greatest. To have a full day off. Do you do the road different? Like I feel like now it's so funny you say because I'm even just telling these old stories. I'm like now I'm boring as fuck. Like I just do my shows. I go back to the room, maybe watch a movie or catch up on some highlights and shit and go to fucking sleep.

Get up and go to the gym in the morning, have breakfast, take a fucking, I get some of my best sleep. Now that's when I get a good sleep is when I'm not at home sometimes. And I don't have to answer the shit. Your midday nap, the kind of thing? Man, until the show.

I just lay in that fucking bed. I don't wanna go to sleep, I don't need to answer the shit your midday nap the kind of thing man until the show. Yeah Fucking big. Yeah, I don't want to go to I don't need to see the town It's almost like cuz I did all I did I feel like for like the first 15 20 years of comedy I did a lot of crazy shit. I don't even know how it now. It's just like look I just want to do my shows I get them all I got on that stage Yeah, I kill it and I just go, I be like done. Yeah. There's a good- You want to party?

I'm like, no. I know I was hilarious and I gave you the energy. Yeah. That's all I got. That's all I got. That's what people, some people, like friends and family, sometimes they come on the road. They're like, what are we doing today?

I'm like, no, what are you doing today? Cause I'm not doing anything. Cause I have to conserve energy for that, for the show. Like I can't, I don't want a huge outing, you know what I mean? When they're like, it's not that bad, you drive like a couple hours out of town, you see them, I'm like no dude, you can go do that.

What are you, you start cutting out, I cut out the drinking, right? And then like, and then also let's just be real, like I don't, I'm happy in a happy relationship. So that's not a thing no more. Meeting, you know what I mean? I literally brought my daughter to my last road gig with me because we was already traveling. And we just hung out. We went to the mall.

I love a good mall on the road. But she's a teenager, so teenagers want to sleep all day during the summer. So she just wanted to chill. I'm like, you are fucking perfect to be on the road. Yeah, she's a great comic to have around. Dude, we didn't do shit. Yeah. You're like, what a great day. Shopping one day, that was fucking it. I mean, we ate at like this random Italian restaurant. I forgot what city we was in. Indianapolis. That gave us the most food I've ever. I thought I had to order the kids' shit. I'm like, take this back and give me kids shit.

And that shit was still big. I was like, what the fuck? You ever go to a restaurant where you feel like they just got too much food, so they just want to give it to somebody? Yeah. It's like, what the fuck going on? Crazy ass portions, yeah. The portions, it didn't...

I didn't believe the weight. You know, he's like, these are big. Like, yeah, okay. Sometimes they tell you that. They're big portions here. Especially in LA. They'd be like, oh, these are big. And he's like, what be like oh these are big. He's like the fuck you mean these three meatballs. Fuck out of here Yeah, but the portions really was I was like oh shit

You really was Midwest is different though when they say it you gotta believe them man someone in Indianapolis tells you it's a big portion They're not fucking around they they they eat there dude They they because people like there the person going out is like what am I getting for this? For my money. Yeah, it's different. Yeah, like in New York. They want to have it present We went to where do we go during the soup in Vegas where they gave us a butterfly? The we went to a restaurant they gave us a butterfly for our appetizer. Yeah. Yeah a butterfly That was a butterfly. That was a crazy like, But you're like,

You know like one of those like Michelin present. That shit wouldn't fly in Indianapolis. Yeah. They gave us a fucking, Avante Garde. Fucking one butterfly. There was also a lady playing violin in the room and the walls were, you know what I mean?

It was a whole, it was a thing. It was a thing, man. Like Yamakasa sushi is fucking amazing, but I need to go with someone who doesn't like sushi so I can eat theirs too. There's nothing worse than when someone's like, oh we have sushi, and I was like great, and they laid out four pieces of nigiri,

and I was like great, and then they brought out the next thing, and I was like, is there more sushi? And they were like, no, that was it. See, I hate places I gotta eat before I go to. brought out the next thing and I was like, is there more sushi? And they're like, no. That was it. Just like that. I hate places I gotta eat before I go to. Yeah, yeah. How has your eating changed though? Since you're, like are you,

cause you said you eat what you want, but are you eating less food? I think, well, LA helped that to be honest with you like living out here. Because once again, the portions are, and it's not the same type of food and so I actually had to like first LA changed my eating habits. Yeah. You know what I mean? It really did. Yeah. Like okay I'm not what the fuck is these little fucking portions and everything and then you if you start being around people who own it's so many vegans out here now and so it's

like all right man. Did you try that? I have like cause JB Smooth is a vegan. And so if you out with him and his wife, Shai, like they... They're both vegan? Yeah. Damn. They be vegan up man. You go, if they throwing a dinner at their house, you like, alright man. Let me go ahead and eat whatever shit they telling me that's like that shit. Bunch of yeast on shit to make it taste like parmesan cheese. I thought vegan meals. I hate they name the stuff like regular stuff. Yeah. Like vegan Italian sausage.

And like what the, why would you say that? Like what the fuck is the point of that? Yeah. It's like a dildo. Just take the dick. Yeah. Do you want this vegan dick? Waka Flocka Flame was, by the way, Waka Flocka Flame is a large motherfucker.

That dude is fucking easy. He's like 6'7". I did a podcast with him and Desi Banks, the spades thing. He's an interest. Waka Fokker is fucking an interest. It's so crazy because I liked him a lot and when we hung out and met and then like recently I didn't realize he was like a huge Trump supporter. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, Waka Fokker. Yeah, it's a whole thing now. It's been like viral for the last week or so. And I was like, it's shocking to me. I'm like-

A huge supporter? Like a huge, he's like, man, if you vote for Joe Biden, get the fuck out my show. He literally told people to leave his rap. That's hilarious. Which is a rap concert, like. I mean, most people who love rap is Democrats, I thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah, probably.

So if you vote for Joe Biden, get the fuck out. Yeah. And that's in the hood. Everybody's like, I ain't voting at all, so what the fuck do you mean? Like, I ain't going nowhere. Looking all, so what the fuck does that mean? Like, I ain't goin' nowhere. Looking for a tasty, hassle-free snack? Look no further.

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It's like, it's really no difference between anybody. We just really voting for two really old, ass, crazy, grandfather ass people. That totally, but like the craziest thing to watch for me right now is like, Biden is clearly out of it. Like he's clearly, he's not. But he's not the first one. No, he's not the first one.

No he's not. When you think about it, it's like... He also has a whole party. Like the whole party is basically like, you look man, you need to go. And he's like, nah. And guess what? He has a right to say that because at the end of the day, if we really want to change this shit, we really got to change the age shit for just politicians in general.

Term limits, everything. Like for real. Like a lot of these motherfuckers been way too old. That's why it still be like the same shit. No abortions! It's like, motherfucker, come on, man. Yeah, when the fuck did they get chicks pregnant? Yeah, it's like... They're not like us. No, they're not.

It's just all that's... It's just stupid. It's like nothing... Like it's like whatever they thought about when they first were still having the same mind. Yeah it may be what year that was is what they still think the shit is going on now. It's fucking weird. They're burning bras But I want to like it feels like that the pressure for him to bow out is ramping up like every day It's a it seems like it's a little more and he is like, nope, I'm not going. But I feel like there's gonna be a real tipping point here

like in the next month or so. I'll tell you how fucking hot this election is. I have never once watched a debate in my fucking life. Never? No, I don't care. I don't care. Donnell said it's because I'm white and I don't have to care, but which is probably a pretty.

I mean, that's very real shit. Yeah. He was like, yeah, man, none of those laws affect you. He was like, you're going to be fine no matter who they get. And so, but this year we were on, we were doing Fully Loaded and everyone got on the bus and watched the fucking election. And I was election and I was high and I was like oh this is I might have to pay attention for the first time

in life like this is kind of heartbreaking like this is I really what you think I broke my heart that they let that happen to Joe Biden that they brought him out there like that just rolled him out was like because they did it as a sacrificial lamb they're like we need to let everyone know you can't talk so that we got we can bring in Kamala Harris or Gavin Newsom. They did that to him. That's what's so scary about being a president. I remember when we watched Obama age, right?

Like, he looked really young when he got in office and he looked older. And it's like, what the fuck you think will happen to an old motherfucker? Yeah. The job of a president has to be so fucking strong. It's shit we don't even know they got to have answers to. They probably didn't even know that was part of the job. Which, that's what makes Donald Trump interesting, because he truly don't give a fuck.

He is the ghettoest fucking person I've ever seen with any job like that ever. Like he is, he's so fucking, I hate that we associate ghetto sometimes with black people in hip hop, but nah, fuck all that. Donald Trump is ghetto as fuck. He's so fucking ghetto, man.

And it's scary to watch. He don't give a fuck. Like he bully, like you watched that debate and you're like, damn man, he just roasting this motherfucker. And he goes, I don't even know if he. And when he goes, I don't even know if he knows what he just said. I don't even know. We were doubled over in the fucking bus.

We're like, shut the fuck up. And you get mad because he's killing it. You're like, man, I ain't supposed to be laughing at this crazy motherfucker. He's funny. But it's fucking hysterical. There's no denying that. He has said a ton of funny shit.

I bet he'd be so fun if you're sitting at a bar and he just sat down next to you. He's like, you doing a shot? And you'd be like, hey, I bet he'd be so fun if you're sitting at a bar and he just sat down next to you. He's like, you doing a shot? And you'd be like, hey, I bet he'd be wild. Never drinks though. He doesn't drink? Not at all, not a drop.

Donald Trump doesn't drink? Never had a drink. I explained a lot. So he just fucking just, this is off the dome. Yeah, he's wild, dude. God damn. Yeah. That's crazy, he just been a sober man this whole time.

Sober man, diet coke, and well done steak. Pussy was his drug. Yeah. Pussy was. He just been a sober man this whole time. Sober man, diet coke and well done steak. Pussy was his drug. Yeah. Pussy was his drug bad. Yeah, yeah. Which he don't seem like he's good at any of that shit. Fuck it. You know what I mean?

Like, it's just like a thing. It's like he's just, he just, I don't even know how to describe that. He's a tall dude, right? I think he's like 6'2". We went, I got invited to the Republican National Convention. They wanted me to go as like a influencer. And I was like, fucking absolutely.

And Leigh Ann was like, absolutely not. You are the Billy Bush motherfucker that'll get caught going, yeah, grab her in the pussy. Like, I just can't help it. I don't like confrontation. So whatever anyone says, I just agree with. Yeah. And I'm just like, uh-huh. So if you would have been like, yo, grab a bite of pussy,

like hell yeah, easy. Wait, so wait. He would have yes-ended that shit. Yeah, yeah. I would have been like, I'll tell, cause I tell, if you tell me a story, I try to tell a better story. I'm like, I got a better story than that, Donald.

Like I fucking, I should not, that's why I shouldn't watch politics. He'd love you. He would love me. Yeah. He would have you on a roll with him, like, dude, I don why I shouldn't watch politics. He'd love you. He would love me. Yeah. He would have you on a roll with him like, dude, I don't know what you're doing. I need you with me.

Yep. He'd be like, join my cabinet. Do you know how much crowd I'd be? Join my cabinet. He goes, just bring me up on stage. I go, I got you, buddy. You would say yes to that. Yeah, yeah.

Dude, I'd bring Kim Jong Un on stage. You'd be shocked who I'd say, you'd be shocked who I'd say you'd be shocked where I draw the line Like I would have been the guy hung out with fucking Mo market offy going like hey, let's put on the robes So where would you draw a line? Peter Peter yeah Peter asked me to do some stuff for them and I was like, you guys are... Too polarizing? Yeah, they're too polarizing.

NRA? I do, I fuck with the NRA. Yeah. I fuck with the NRA. I like guns. That's interesting. Do you have a gun? Yeah.

A BB gun. That's it? Yeah. God. I have a couple. I mean, I'm leaning towards it, honestly. It's just, I've had like, you know, I live in, I've had my crib broken in a couple times. Couple times? Yeah, this year. In LA? Yeah. It got me, well, the first time they didn't

take anything but some Jordans, which is fucking weird. Because my assistant showed up before they were still in the house when she was in there and I was like, yo, you got to get the fuck out of there. I think they hiding. You know, and then the second time I'm literally at a screening for one of my movies and they broke in my media room, broke the glass and shit. No. For real. The police, now this is weird about the LA police, the LAPD.

They see this motherfucker in the house. Helicopters, they didn't cut the streets off. One asshole they couldn't catch. One motherfucker. For real? For real, for real. And I was just so fucking annoyed by that shit. I'm like, I got these helicopters

and you just cut the street off. Does that mean like your house thing is a target if it's been hit twice? I think so. The second time, but this is weird. I'm like, man, look, whatever you just took, because the only stuff you took was like the other, I like other watches and stuff,

but I had it out because I was getting ready. Yeah. So the stuff you took was the stuff I already had out. You know what I mean? Because I got everything in there is like regular big shit. You know what I mean? Are you going to walk out of there in there is like regular big shit. You know what I mean? Are you going to walk out of there with a TV?

Motherfucker no. Or chairs. Like, leave me the fuck alone. We can't rob this house for chairs. You got to find people who had like money for like centuries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. They've been passing pearls down and all that shit.

Like I don't have all that, none of that shit. Oh, these are Travis Scott's. These are great. Oh, we're the same size. I'm telling you, the first, it's so fun watching a video, uh, cause you could tell the dude took my Jordans off. I'm like, we gotta get something out of here. Cause they didn't get shit cause my assistant showed up.

And so they walked out the front door. I had to watch all this footage to even see that shit. And you could see his mother would repair it. I just bought those fucking Jordans. I have a shitload of shoes, first of all. Which I thought, when I came in, I'm like, yep, they got my shoes. And I'm like, huh, they didn't take any of these shoes.

I got like racks of shoes. And they took like just one pair that was near the door. Wow. Wait, how many shoes do you have? Man, I can't even, I don't know. Like what's your go-to shoe? The one that you can't help buy? If it comes out new, you gotta buy. I'm a Nike Dunk SB guy. That's, I don't know bro. Like the kids was just talking to me about this. My shoe, I'm a real, I have way too, I have a lot. Really? Yeah. That was one of my like hood things, you know what

I mean? Your parents buying you pay less shoes your whole life. And as soon as you get some money, that's what I did was buy Jordan. But you're a Chicago kid too. Come on. Oh yeah. I know it's Jordan. I mean you were there during the 90s. I mean I watched Last Dance at least teared up at least eight times.

Yeah, of course. We did about eight episodes. Anytime I get on the treadmill, I put on Last Dance. I watched Last Dance for no... Now I can just... You know how you watch it so many... Like I could just... I could watch it out of order.

I don't need to watch them shits one... No, no. I could go to nine and then go back to one. I've noticed shit that it's literally... If you look at the first episode of Last Dance, when Michael Jordan first get to the bulls and he's walking on the court and these two girls are like, ooh. And there's one drug dealer looking motherfucker pissed at the girls. Look at Michael Jordan.

It's the funniest shit in the world. He's about to kill Michael Jordan in 1984. It's just a guy like, motherfucker. He just looks so fucking angry. It makes me laugh, so I rewind it back a lot. This guy just watching Mike walk on the court, and he like, then fuck y'all looking at. Because the girls are like, ooh. First of all, he like, then fuck y'all looking at? Cause the girls like, woo.

Yeah. First of all, why is this dude in the stadium? He look like a guy that shouldn't even be in the motherfuckin' stadium. Look who you selling drugs to on this team. Is the whole, like this is a weird question, but is the whole checking in thing like a real thing? Depending on where you at, that's a real thing in LA. That's a real thing here and it's a real thing. Chicago is not like LA. LA is a different level of that shit.

Which is why you can't go around here just stunting and talking shit and walking. Which is why, you know, unfortunately, I think some of these rappers tend to like think shit is just sweet and they'll go in these neighborhoods and places that they don't know the people like that at and you know, people getting robbed and all types of shit. So it's not like, I really, I don't, I heard about the check in in thing, but like, so like, is, can you age out of it? Like if, when you get to like say 40 years old, like you don't really need to check in anymore.

No, I mean, it's movies. You can't shoot certain movies in certain places. If you look, it's a, it was a guy named Bone, which everybody knows in LA. If you look at like Training Day and all these different movies, he's in a bunch of movies because they had to put them in those movies. Really? Or you won't going to be able to shoot on that block. Oh, wow. Really?

Yeah. So you're doing this movie, he's in the movie. If you shooting that shit, and depending on what neighborhood it in, he makes sure everything is cool and you gotta put him in that shit. I saw that happen with like music videos was big. It's like I saw a video of someone going in

and someone saying, just standing there go, yo, you didn't check in. And they were standing outside his car and you could see that it was a very fucking real thing. Yeah. And I was like, wow, that's wild No, it's it's uh, it's a real thing man. Like which is you know, I Mean like if you grow up somewhere, you'll know you'll know the right people to whatever talk to but like man

LA don't play about that shit Which is why like people got to respect people hoods man. Hey, you know people come from all these different places like now Like people gotta respect people hoods, man. Like, you know, people come from all these different places. Like, nah, the LA shit is some next level shit. So like if you, say if you were like, for training day though, that's kind of crazy, right? Cause you're like, that's a massive production and they still,

You still, cause you shooting in the hood. But that's what made Denzel fascinating too, cause Denzel could go to any hood in America and people is gonna embrace him. I've seen videos of him just showing up. Me too. It's the best. The most gangster motherfuckers losing their shit.

Really? Over Denzel. Denzel cool as fuck, like yo, what's up, what's up? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's like such an icon, and I think especially in black families and neighborhoods, he's like the chosen one. He probably could go literally any black neighborhood,

any community. Yeah. Denzel Washington walk in, like we talk about the Jewish people with the, he could walk in and just be like, what's up? They'd be like, hey man, what's up? Yeah. Yeah. Ain't nobody gonna think twice,

everybody's gonna be excited. Yeah, Denzel's here. Denzel's here, man. She's up? Yeah. Yeah. Ain't nobody gonna think too, everybody's gonna be excited. Yeah, Denzel's here. Denzel's here. Denzel's here, man. She's walking around the corner. He's like a throwback to movie stars, like Paul Newman and where people were just like, you're just beloved.

You're just beloved. It's like, it doesn't really exist today, I don't think. Aside from like him, I don't know if there's really. Oh thanks. Maybe like him, you know, I don't know if there's really. Maybe like him, like we're like also like transcontinental. Like I think you could put him in a village, you know, in Africa, you could go to Europe, Asia, and like they're all gonna flip out, they see Brad Pitt,

you know, like people like they're just like, yeah, we fucking. I can't believe I got excited about seeing Brad Pitt one time. I was doing a show with Chris Rock and he came backstage and he was like, man, you were funny. I was like, I shouldn't be this excited about meeting this motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it wasn't even like, it was like inside excitement. Like, I was getting goosebumps and that's what made me uncomfortable.

You know what I mean? It was like, oh shit, Brad Pitt. But it was like, why the fuck do I care? He's like, you're funny. You're like I mean? It was like, oh shit Brad Pitt. But it was like, mmm. I'm like, why the fuck do I care? He's like, you're funny. You're like, really? Yeah. It's like, I couldn't, because he's, I'm like, I wanna have a feel to be that good looking.

Like, you just walk around and people just like, that's a good looking. And he's got, and here's the thing, is it puts it in perspective because there's a lot of famous people where people go like, oh, this person's like really good looking, right? But then you kind of go, yeah, you're kind of saying that though,

because of their talent. And because, you know, like a really good actor, you go, it's just like a really talented musician. They become more attractive because of their talent. And then you see somebody who is just objectively really good looking. Not shaving, just whatever he does. Whatever he does is just like it works.

This is what it is. It's not the same. They put Brad Pitt in AI to make him more attractive. And it wasn't more attractive. He was less attractive. He looked kind of cheesecake. Like kind of. Like I always see people like,

that one of the it guys right now is Pedro Pascal, you know? Yeah. And all, anytime he posts something, if you look at the comments, women are like, oh, I'm like, this guy looks like he changed his tires. Like what the fuck? Yeah, yeah, it's certain people you don't get. Yeah, I don't get this at all.

Owen Wilson, Owen Wilson. I was just about to say Owen Wilson. Owen Wilson. But he's mesmerizing to look at. Like he's just different. Like you remember those chicks in high school where you're like ugh, and then you go to college, you're like what the fuck, what was wrong with me?

So Owen though falls into the like, there's something interesting about this guy. Interesting about him. And then the interesting morphs into, there's an attract, people go this guy's attractive, but you're attracted because of like the weirdness and the talent and that he's unique, but like Brad's in that other category where it's just like yeah, he's a unique

You know it's interesting because it's like because I look at like even sometimes I look at the who women do like they're so handsome And then I look at a picture of myself like well I mean, I should be called fine today Yeah, but it is like but then you know what you you hit it on the head too. If you get the right roles, which is why I think like comedians sometimes, like most, the comics, like I saw Martin do it, I saw Eddie do it. Where they'll do a movie like a Boomerang or a Thin Line Between Love and Hate to make themselves look cool. Like, fuck that shit.

I'm going to be the fine motherfucker in the movie. Ain't nobody else go wear the cool clothes. They did that on purpose. Like, just so you know, like, you're going to gonna and I can't wait to do my movie like that man I'm gonna do one with any Eddie Eddie Eddie is the outlier though You know you're not supposed to be considered that funny and that cool You know I mean like if you're that funny by most people's accounts You can't be that cool and he And he's been able for fucking 40 years to be that funny.

Like you're the funniest guy. And that cool, it's a real anomaly. It's not normal. That's a real thing. I think we've had people try to emulate that. Yeah, a bunch. And it's impossible because he wasn't trying to be something, he was just doing that shit.

He was just doing his thing, yeah. Eddie went out, Eddie went out. I mean, if you think about this. You seen the new one? Do you see it? Yeah, Beverly Hills Cop. I haven't seen it yet. I saw it, yeah.

Eddie, it's great, yeah, it's great. It's great, especially if you grew up watching Beverly Hills Cop, you love it. It's fucking, it's awesome, it's awesome. I watched it high as fuck and I just smiled the whole time. And I thought, I'm still a kid. I'm still a kid, Eddie's still doing it. But I'll tell you what's wild, as Eddie did,

I mean, this is before, this is when he did Delirious and he came out in that fucking outfit. He was 21. He was 21 and he came out in a leather fucking outfit with gloves on. And you think to yourself, what a big swing. No one was dressing like big swing no one was dressing like that no one was and that was that was authentically who he was.

You know why he did that right? Because he's a huge Elvis fan. I was gonna say he's a big music guy. Which is so crazy he's a huge Elvis Presley fan and when I heard him say that I'm like that is exactly what that fucking look is. You like a fucking Vegas Elvis. Yeah, but that's, no, I would argue. Elvis in like 72. But you would never think that kid, this little, the little black kid,

which is why he was able to do it because nobody saw that, it looked like just some cool shit. Yeah, but that was, I think that was the thing I was more drawn to, and I don't have it, but I like it. When you'd watch black comics in New York, there was a swagger on stage that white comics didn't have. White comics had the hoodie and the notebook

and the New Balance, everyone dressed in a uniform. And then you'd see dudes come up like, I mean, I watched Chappelle on stage the other, probably a month ago, two months ago now. I don't even know what kind of pants he was wearing with the tank top and jack shoulders and zippers all over with space shoes on. And I was like, that's fucking, every,

Cat Williams, Cat Williams, when he did Pimp Chronicles, came out dressed like to the T. No white comic does that. White comics are like. I mean that's what made The King stand out, right? You remember when The King's comedy went. Suits, fuck, yes. When they did that shit.

And honestly, just even coming from that circuit of things, you had to look nice. Even if you did, when you did Comic View, back in the day, where you was gonna come be on TV. You were like, oh, we gotta fuck. Everybody was dressed like a fuck up. Big cultural separation in that. Because I remember when I started doing stand-up,

I embraced looking like shit. Like, if a shirt had a hole in it, I'd be like, I'll wear this tonight. And one of my friends was like, you know, people want to like see something nice. They're looking at you. Like, you look like shit up there. And I was like, oh yeah. But I also thought it was like, oh that like that's kind of what I was emulating around me because like other guys who had been doing it longer, yeah they wear like the clothes they slept in, you know? It was

like it was a total separation where like yeah, black comics always were like... We felt like we had the... I mean, like, I remember, like, the first year I did Comic View, and this was, like, the era of the jersey and the headband. Yeah. And so, you know... That really dates it. When you see certain things, that jersey era, you're like, oh... I had one pants leg up on my first TV appearance.

That's when we was at hip-hop, you know what I mean? And so, like, just my first TV appearance would be with a fucking headband. There was also black comics who part of their, like their set was their towel. Like the towel was like a prop. Oh man, people were sweating. And they would, but they needed it. Like some of them were like sweat,

like big dudes be sweating, but then they're like rest it here, rest it here. It would be part of the act. It's so interesting, like, is, cause then we went through a shift, right, where that was happening and then, you know, the newer groups kind of fell into just like, alright, fuck it, we don't give a fuck. And then it was like a weird battle between, I don't remember what it was, like weird beast,

like, oh, you want them shoulder pad jacket comics. What the fuck do that mean? You know, it was a weird but then like I feel like you know interesting way because I think even for my next special I'm thinking about like wearing a tuxedo and just having to untie it and just sit there yeah and not even just I don't even want the stage to be grand I just want to look grand. Yeah yeah I've told you this I've told you this every time I see you. Your special in the gymnasium shot in late afternoon is my favorite special. That's one of my favorite specials

It's so it broke every fucking rule It broke every fucking rule and it was so fucking good The material was so great that you didn't care that the sun setting and that they're fucking it was just I fucking love that special I love when you start to watch special and you go, oh, this won't work. And then you just go, oh, it's working so good. It's working so fucking good. That's Gerard Carmichael, man. He directed it.

He directed it when he told me he wanted to do that show. So me and Gerard have been friends a long time. So he introduced me to a lot of random stuff that I'm like, I'm a little bougie now because of him. But I remember when I first came to LA, I would only eat at Roscoe's. I would try to, he's like, man, let's go to Jar. I'm not going to a motherfucking place called No Jar. It's too fancy.

And so like he got really, he would talk to me, I guess like he would talk to his parents to introduce shit to me. Because like when we did Carbacca Show, me and Loretta Devine, we were still kind of hoods. So he's like, we ain't going there. He trying to take us to this fancy place. You know? But he called me, he's like, look, real, hear me out before you say no. I said, oh shit, let's not do a theater, let's do a gymnasium.

And I'm like, you want my first HBO special to be shot in a fucking high school gymnasium. Fuck you, man. Yeah. You trying to fucking Kanye Drake me? Cause always, the first Drake video was terrible and Kanye directed it. I think he did it on purpose. So I was like.

And so I was like, you're trying to do your job. But then we went to the gym and I saw that window. I was like, we shooting this shit and it's going motherfuckers. Fucking so good. Wow was like, we shooting this shit and it's going, motherfucker. Fucking so good. Whoa, we can do that? He's like, yeah. I'm on board.

I don't know if I ever told you, I haven't told you this, but I remember he was always like light years ahead in like confidence and composure. So like, I remember one time I'd seen him do a spot and I invited him, I was doing like a weekly show at Embraer. And so he came out, I was like, I still didn't know his age. I was like, how old are you?

And he was something like, I don't know, like 25. I was like, you're 25? Because he also has that like ambiguous look where I was like, I don't know if you're 25 or 58, like, you know what I mean? Like with the mustache. I was like, I didn't know how old're 25 or 58, like you know what I mean? Like with the mustache. I was like, I didn't know how old he was. I was like, how the fuck are you? You know, he was like so composed.

And then he had his first special coming out, it was right at the store. And I saw, he had no juice yet. Like he wasn't, I saw it was directed by Spike Lee. So I was, I saw him and I go, you have Spike Lee directing your special? And he's like, yeah, I go, how did you get like, you know what I mean, like just like,

how did you get that to happen? He's like, just reached out. Like you reached out to Spike Lee? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, and then he's like, and he said yes. And that was the story. And I was like, okay, I guess, yeah, you have to have the, you have to have the audacity to ask, right?

And like he was- That's my big little brother, man. I'm older than Jirard, and I, you know, he'd lean on me sometimes for big brother shit, but honestly, I've learned way more from him. It's crazy. I was amazed by that. He's just so fucking, like you say, he's composed.

Yeah, from a young age. He takes big chances. Man. He takes big chances. And it's not a big deal to him. It's not like... That to me, I was like, my thought, like me at the time especially, I would have been like, I would be cool to get Spike Lee to direct this.

You gotta talk to him about that whole experience. But then I'd be like, I'm definitely not gonna ask. You know what I mean? Like at that age, like that time, I would have been like... It's the funny thing that makes it crazy. Like you guys should talk to Gerard about it just because it's such a generational gap. Yeah. Of what Spike Pink comedy is. Yeah. Oh yeah. And Gerard's comedy. Sure. Oh my god, it was Bubba Heads. Really? Really. Hell yeah. That'd be a good story to get. It's so fucking crazy. It's really funny too because it makes sense. But I'm like, did you do that just because you wanted the conflict or something? Yeah. Maybe. I bet a guy like him probably goes the conflicts, what's the thing?

What about working with Jordan? Jordan Peele, I think is almost like him probably goes the conflicts what's the thing that what about working with Jordan? Jordan Peele I think is almost in a weird way the same way is like What I love about Jordan is is one less with movies too and it spoiled me a little bit because I was like my first feature film that was yeah get out was and Well first real feature I mean shout out to all the people I did the independent shit with. Real movie guy. What about my shit? You don't remember that shit Lil Red we did for $15? No, but yeah, he was just, I love the fact like, he did something that I wish all the

directors did was like, gain my trust and was cool with my process. You know what I'm saying? Like he knew everybody's different processes and went with that. He didn't ask us all to do one thing to make it. He just came in everybody's world to get the best out of us. Yeah.

And if, more or less for me, he was like, all right, give me, you know, what I wrote, whatever, and then give me a real take. And because he was going to give me a take to do whatever I wanted to, I'd do whatever the fuck you say. Yeah. Because I know you're going to let me have fun. And then when you watch the movie, I forgot that what I was saying. So most of the stuff, we was doing a panel one day and he was like, yeah, rail, that's not, I know you give me props, but like, I use most of your takes. Yeah. I'm like, wow. Oh shit.

Did you have any sense when you're making that, is it possible to have any sense how like impactful that movie was going to be? I had a feeling about that shit after I booked it. After you booked it? Yeah. I'll never forget. I've told this story a couple of times, but it's a real shit. Like I was doing my last callback and it was with Jordan.

And it was for the original ending, which was the sadder version of the movie. What was the original ending? Well, he went to jail and I was trying to help him tell me what happened and shit like that and he just was like, fuck it, man. I'm a black man. Nobody's going to believe me. And this is what it is. I'm a black man. Nobody gonna believe me and this is what it is So it's just dark

But Jordan was like we can't in this shit like that people already know that could be a reality. That's this movie Let's make people leave the theater happy and excited, you know And we did that though. We did that read and I was waiting on my uber and that's when Jordan came out I was waiting it was literally six other people that I even I was waiting on my Uber and that's when Jordan came out while I was waiting. It was literally six other people that I even, I knew they had to read with him. He was like, yo, it's yours. Right then.

Right then. That's exciting. Wow. I was like, oh shit. But I just, and I just walked down the street crying. Wow. I just watched it a month ago. It's just, you just, I think we all knew after the trailer though,

because we did reshoots. I remember, I remember seeing that trailer. People were so excited about it. You know what's crazy about seeing the trailer? I saw the trailer in the theater when I was watching some other movie, and it was a mostly empty theater. Like it was like a daytime, I forget the movie I was watching. And the trailer plays, and there's like 15 people watching this trailer, and people were like hollering.

I've never seen people react in a trailer, especially 15, 20 people. I was like, this is nuts. Like the energy for a trailer to go like that was pretty crazy. I'm gonna always be you know it's weird because you have some actors that be trying to like say they in something like that they like I don't want to be associated with it they only known for this or whatever yeah but man I feel like it's like historic and beautiful. I like I still I still get goose bumps when I watch people watch it yeah Like it was one of the craziest experiences of my career, of my life. Just like the night and day of what happened.

You know what I'm saying? It was crazy because even like Tiffany Haddish and my good friend, like we had Get Out Girl's Trip back to back and we were still doing Carmichael's show. So that year was just crazy to be on set and how supportive Jirard and and we don't do that shit without Jirard okaying it. Right. Oh yeah, he's got to let you get out. Yeah. Oh wow. Wow. That's crazy too because everything you hear, everything you hear especially when you listen to that Cat Williams interview, is there's so much animosity and gameplay within that and then you hear someone going? Oh, no, man

I want you to blow the fuck up and it doesn't sound like I'd say the one thing I love and this I don't know This is gonna sound horrible, but I just love the way a black director shoots black people It looks different and it's just like I hate it, but keep going Like I go back to I go back to One of my favorite movies ever and and you know this, is Belly. Yeah. Ooh, the lighting in that is crazy. The lighting is so fucking hot.

It's a Hype Williams two hour music video is what it is, man. To this day, I'm so attracted to dark skinned black women because of that fucking girl, the fucking assassin. I mean the way the sweat looks on the fucking arm. You know, that shit. That's some of the best lighting. Well yeah, but that's like, people, if they don't know, he was the music video director, right?

Hype was that guy. Hype Williams was that guy. And he was known for like these beautiful, incredible, like visually stunning music videos, then you give them a feature and he took that same aesthetic to it. I can remember in Belly, just the frame of a car passing down the street, you would just go like, this is gorgeous. The way that the light's reflecting off of the car because he took that eye from music videos

and just put it in the movie. And so every, I mean the opening is iconic, right? Walking through the strip club with the eyes. That opening, I don't give a fuck. Well, let me say this. Before I came here, I watched, I watched the new Tyler Perry movie, Divorce in Black, and what I'll tell you, one of the craziest openings of a movie I've ever seen is what I fucking just saw.

Really? Really. Yes. And it's not that it's bad, it's not even, it's so entertaining, but it's fuck, I called my fiance, she was like, babe, just describe it. I said, I'm not doing that shit. Yeah, hang up the phone with me and just watch it. She called me back yelling. I'm like, yo, that's the craziest shit you've seen. Really? Where did you see it? Is it on the stream? It's Amazon Prime. It just came out today. It's called Divorce in Black.

That shit's so crazy. I was trying to watch the rest of this movie, but I can't stop thinking about the fucking craziness. Hey, we're gonna go watch that. It's like Tyler Perry's a fucking lunatic. Dude, I got the best black experience ever. I went to David Lucas' house in Macon, Georgia, and his mom and his uncle and his whole family came out and they did a fish fry for us. And maybe I'd say 20 of his family members,

and then me and like four people on my team, you know, we're doing a tour. And then his mom looks at me and goes, you seen the new Madea movie? I was like, no. She goes, you wanna watch it? I was like, yeah. And so I sat in a room with 20 black people,

four white people, and we watched Madea. I have never enjoyed a movie experience more in my life. Oh, well, let's go and add it again. And I went, fucking, it was so inclusive, and like, just, it was wild, but I was like, I'm gonna start watching Madea movies. I mean, that's when I knew I was, almost could be a hater, right?

Cause I was like, the way I look at film and TV and think it should be this and this and that and I will go home in Chicago and they'll throw on either a play or a movie from Tyler and the whole... I feel like I show my special to my family and it's like a few chuckles. Man, I tell you motherfuckers was whining shit back. They was running around Pausing to go get snacks and shit So you motherfuckers like and obviously I feel like the biggest hater cuz everybody in tears up this to the light why why But no and it's so but then that's why I think he's a I think he's a genius because it's kind of what we talked About earlier too. I could respect somebody to say hey, this is my eye

This is how I see it and this out of fuck. I'm gonna do it. Yeah, fuck with you was talking about earlier too, I could respect somebody that say, hey, this is my eye, this is how I see it, and this is how the fuck I'm going to do it. Fuck what y'all think. I mean, he essentially was the guy that, to go back to the beginning of our conversation, took that whole thing of like, I'll just do it myself to the limit. Amen. Yeah. Which is why I always get, I only think I get get frustrated with like I think sometimes what's scary about that

Now it's so funny because I think about this all the time. I was talking to one of my friends who's a who's a music is that And we were just talking about when when a lot of the big ones became evil, right? Like yeah, cuz most like the feel like music figured out what we're trying to do, right? Yeah, like well musicians became the label owners. Like, the people who really love this shit. But then once they got whatever that other part of the power shit was, then that's when all the crazy shit started happening.

It's like, damn. So I think about this shit all the time, like, dang, I really don't want to become. I don't want to get whatever the secrets of being powerful is. Don't be evil. Don't be evil. But I guess it's very tempting.

It has to be. It's like Star Wars, right? As much as, look, I love Jedi. Well, Darth Vader and the Dark Side do look cool as fuck. They don't give a fuck. They don't go by none of the God damn Jedi rules. If I feel like choking this motherfucker for fucking up, that's what I'ma do.

And then hire the next person. That's some crazy shit. It's fucking dope. Vader chokes somebody like, you're next. And they go right to the new job, knowing that he might choke them too. They don't understand. And I think that's what they're telling us too is that we each can be, everybody has the opportunity to lean one way or the other, you know? You can be more Jedi-mindsided or you can just lean into the dark side, man.

But that's where the Jedi, I mean we can get into deep conversation about this, I'm a huge Star Wars fan. But it's like, yo, y'all, you know, you're trying to tell people not to care about these people that murdered their mom, or like, so they can't be angry about that shit, wanna fuck them up? Where's the balance of the force in that? It's like, either you don't do it, you say, man, it's okay. What? They killed my mama! And I got all this power and shit, I can't go fuck these people up? Don't make no fucking sense.

Real quick, MJ or LeBron, who's your favorite? MJ. Okay. I know. Kendrick or Drake? Kendrick. Really? I just listened to that song for the first time.

I didn't understand it. Which one? Not Like Us. Oh. But you got to listen to all the songs. I think what Kendrick did that was beautiful, especially if I'm a hip hop fan, he just did every aspect of a rapper. He did a West Coast song, he did a Southern song, he did

one of them songs that just got a sample playing and you just spittin'. It was just like, dude, you just hip hop. Like, who would battle this dude who probably just walks around with a blanket in the studio in his house, kidnapped his energy, and I told my brother, I said, I think he kidnapped his engineer. This guy's like, dude, I gotta go home to my family. And it's like, Kendra's like, no, I'm still making me. Just showing up with a blanket, and he's like spitting and walking out and going back to bed.

And you miss shit too in his lyrics. Like you go back and you actually realize that there's more than just double meanings. He loves to fucking rap. Yeah, he does. You don't battle somebody that just wanna keep rapping. His raps are like the New York Times call it a puzzle. He don't wanna hang out,

he don't wanna fucking party, he just wanna fucking rap. Drake wanna hang out and do shit and have a good time. He's like, you can do all that. I'm not gonna stop rapping. What's your thoughts on TI? Because I remember I was with Snoop when TI wanted to challenge 50 and to the verses. And TI said to 50, you are New York's Nelly.

Do you remember that? I think that's what he said. I just remember it distinctly, because I remember Snoop's reaction to that was just like, oh, like it was just, and TI is like, I ran into TI much bigger than you think. Physically bigger? Physically large, man.

Like I was like, hi, I just thought he'd be like a smaller dude. We worked out with TI, we was doing vacation friends, the first one, like he would come pick up me and Bach, King Bach, and yeah, we would just, yeah, we'd go work out with him, man. Like, he, TI runs Atlanta. Like, he really is the king of that shit.

Like, for real, for real. I have a picture of me, TI, and Tiny, and Leann. I have a fucking big gulp in my hand. So you don't post it? No. I didn't fucking realize. You should do it now. Where did you get it? Wait, so you just randomly had a big gulp? I was trying not to drink, but I need something to drink. Like, I like to drink. You just stopped at a gas station? I stopped at a gas station, I was like,

I'm gonna get a big gulp. And I fucking got a big gulp, and I was like, can I get a picture? And he was like, yeah. We're posting it on this episode. Yeah, yeah, we'll post it. And he was like, I geeked out. Like I said, I was a big, I still am a big hip hop fan,

but I'm just more of a fan of like everything now a little more. But at the time, I think I geeked out. I think I freaked him out. So I was like, you know, we used to listen, I used to listen to your albums with my daughters. And he was like, really? And I was like, you don't know me.

I was like, I used that song to talk to Ilo about bullying. I told the 85 South guys this. And they're like, that's not a bullying song. I said, kinda is. Cause like you say to a kid, they're saying stuff about you, but they don't know you. And if they see you in the streets, remember they don't know you.

They don't know you. Yeah, and I remember T.I. was like, this, it's about bullying, sure. He's like, Tiny, Tiny, give me a... That dude is such a smart businessman like like he owns so much real estate real I saw that yeah I didn't know that's fucking smart man there's even just like even the way he looks at entertainment and investing his own money he just a smart guy yeah I called him I called him tip yeah yeah

like that I was like what's up tip and he was like okay what's up, Tip? And he was like, okay. Hey, everybody calls him Tip. Yeah, but I don't know the guy. I called Big Boy Daddy Fat Sacks. That's a weird thing. That's a weird one. That's a weird one. I called him off guard. Tip is what people call him. You were like, hey, Daddy Fat Sacks, can I call it any man daddy?

I yelled it at an airport, daddy fat sacks. I met him the day before and I was like, I'm a huge fan. And then I saw him again and he was like, okay, I guess you really are a fan. I freaked out trick daddy. Like I was, I was like, you know, when you feel you're a real fan of something, you listen to like you, when you really get into an album,

you feel like you know them. Like I remember when I met Trey, I said, yo, what ever happened to Money Mark? And he was like, huh? He was like, he's like, you, he's like, that's really interesting. I just talked to him the other day for the first time in a little bit.

I went, for real? He's like, yeah, we talked about Money Mark. Yeah. But like, it's crazy because you get into something and when you really really like with Star Wars like if you ran into Mark Hamill, I bet you'd have like a million things and there's certain people who are generous with their time. Mark Hamill is very generous with his time and he would he'll indulge you in that moment

and yeah, big boy TI. I'm actually, I get weird when I see people that like, especially that I've watched, I'm obsessed with Star Wars. So like I've seen Mark, I've seen, what's his name? Christensen, the one up there. Hayden Christensen? Yeah. And I just looked at him.

Yeah. And it's like- Well, because your brain also is like, where do I go? Where do I go? Because I have nothing else to do but fan the fuck out. Yeah. I love it. You don't want to have no conversation with me about specific things.

Yeah. Yeah. You're an actor at the end of the day. Yeah. I love it. You don't want to have no conversation with me about specific things. Yeah. Yeah. You're an actor at the end of the day. Yeah. Like I'm obsessed with George Lucas right now. Like that's my like I've been watching. Take a general. It's people, it's certain people I'm scared I'm gonna tear up when I meet. Buddy, but that's the coolest thing. It's Eddie Murphy. Oh yeah. And his fucking George Lucas. Yeah. I'm a, if you watched the movie Malcolm X when Malcolm X meet Elijah Mahama for the first time, he's emotional. That is how I'm gonna react to Eddie Murphy or George Lucas. Yeah, I can see that. I mean like I... I'm so... I like so look up to the video so many... Like it's just like I'm gonna lose my shit.

Have you met Jordan? Would you lose your shit? Mike Jordan? Yeah. Oh, I've met Mike. Oh really? I remember the first time I ever saw Mike and it was in a club and Every it was a club full of fine-ass women But when Michael Jordan walked in that motherfucker every man in that club became a groupie

it was literally so you saw the club shift from all the men just standing there, Mike and VIP, and just women standing by themselves. That's hilarious. It was the crazy- In Chicago? In Chicago. And then where did you, did you meet him then or no? I met him, I ended up meeting him at a sports bar. I was able to speak to him and shit.

How was it? I don't know, I mean, I guess if you Mike, people always speak to you. Yeah, for sure. It's not like I'm a special, like, hey Mike, you know, they're like, hey Mike, you're funny, man. Oh, okay. Yeah. Anyway, it's like, hey, cool, man.

Yeah. That's why I got my lined up from Mike Jordan. I got an interview. I want to interview Mike. That's what I want to do. That'd be fun. If they do a last dance too, hire me to be one of those random motherfuckers just in there asking questions with a sheet of paper.

Cause you heard the story, the last dance story, like you remember the episode where he's like, look, if you want to play like that, don't play like that. And he says break. They said that was the first fucking question they asked. Yeah, it was the first day. First day, first question. They didn't even talk about anybody taking a break. He just said that shit walked away and they was all just sitting there like,

okay, is he coming back? Because he was just like, break. Like that's the first shit he said. That's why I skipped through the episode, because I like watching it, because I'm like, damn, whatever the fuck they asked you, that one answer fired you up up. Yeah, he got emotional It had to take a walk about people that plan that they didn't even get it to the other shit yet. No No, Isaiah Thomas video No, you're in pain talking shit about gardening that shows you like how that Mindset is all like he's he probably was holding that shit in for decades decades yeah what are

you gonna say to mike go okay uh you be michael jordan and then you introduce me to michael jordan but give me like a like a like like blow me up a little bit oh hey mike oh mike what's up good seeing you hey this is my boy bert uh i don't know if you see, have you seen the movie The Machine? The what? Okay, no, great movie. Bert tours all over the country, it's hysterical, but outside of that, he's actually really, really good people, man. That's good. All right, what's up, Brent?

It's good to meet you, man. What do you do? I said Bert. Oh, Bert. What do you do, Mike? Yeah, all right. NASCAR. Did you guys grow up together?

Yeah. You know who else got that grow up together? Yeah. Yeah. You know who else got that energy like that? It's Charles Oakley. Yeah. Like that kind of... Yeah, like especially they together. Shit, man. They're intimidating, right?

100%. Charles Oakley don't give a fuck. Yeah. He's exactly who he is. Yeah, I just heard that story with it. Cause you know, he was like a bruiser, like in his playing days. He's still who he is. Yeah, I just heard that story with it. Because you know, he was like a bruiser, like in his playing days. He's still a bruiser. That's what they say.

He was a coach on somewhere, on some team, and they were like, he got into it with one of the players and he was like, I'll knock you. And they're like, yo man, you're a coach. You can't punch him. And you're like 75 years old. You can't hit him. Alright, we should run.

Harold and the Purple Crayon comes out in August. August 2nd. And the Comedy Festival in September. September 16th to the 22nd. And What's Funny Comedy Festival. What's Funny Comedy Festival will be in Chicago. The great city of Chicago. And any other things you want to plug?

I mean, that's it for now. I mean, I got like, you know, I'm always got some movies and all that other shit. But like Harold and the Purple Crayon is very important, but this comedy festival is my baby. Nice. And I'm excited about it. September 16th to the 22nd. Congratulations on that. Thank you so much. And thanks for coming, brother.

Thank y'all for having me. This is, I watched this, so like, this is even cooler to be here, so. Awesome. Fuck yeah. Tom and Bert, one goes to the top and swallows the other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call, Two Bears, One Cave.