2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - Why Ice Cube Stays Mad in Every Movie w/ Funny Marco | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Episode Date: October 13, 2025

Attention Hanover, MD! Tommy Buns is coming to The Hall At Live! Casino, Sunday, October 19. Get tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - Upgrade your wallet today! Get 10% Off @Ridge with code CAVE at https://ridge.com/CAVE #ridgepod - Stop overpaying and start saving with Ownwell. Sign up in 3 minutes at https://Ownwell.com/bears - If you’re 21 or older, grab 30% off your first order plus free shipping with code BEARS at https://indacloud.co - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Bert Kreischer sits down with YouTuber and social media personality, Funny Marco for one of the most effortlessly hilarious and unexpectedly deep conversations on 2 Bears, 1 Cave. The two dive into everything from guessing celebrity ages and debating who the sexiest comedian is, to the weird psychology of fame, strip club etiquette, and why Ice Cube has never smiled in a movie. Marco opens up about his viral interviews with Nicki Minaj and Orlando Brown, the surreal side of fame, and what it means to stay grounded when everyone treats you like a brand instead of a person. Bert shares behind-the-scenes stories from The Cabin and The Machine, his friendship with Katt Williams, and what it’s really like when fame takes away your freedom to “just go.” Funny, sharp, and full of quotable moments, this episode swings from gut-busting comedy to surprisingly real talk about authenticity, anxiety, and why being “D-list famous” might be the sweet spot. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 310 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In New York, call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369). In Connecticut, Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit https://ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (Kansas). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in Illinois. Twenty-one plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Bet must win to receive Bonus Bets which expire in 7 days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see https://dkng.co/audio. Limited time offer. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:17 - What's My Age Again? 00:14:14 - Interviewing Celebs & Getting A Lambo From Nicki Minaj 00:20:14 - Orlando Brown & Bert's Cabin 00:29:31 - Top Black Comedy Movies 00:40:40 - Fame 00:50:20 - Strip Clubs 00:55:55 - NBA YoungBoy 01:00:25 - The Art Of Not Giving A F 01:05:00 - Animation Domination 01:08:55 - Black Phrases 01:15:25 - Lying 01:19:46 - Chappelle, Kevin Hart, IShowSpeed, & Kai Cenat 01:28:12 - The Entertainment Of Watching People's Lives 01:36:42 - Closing Thoughts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, everybody. This Sunday, October 19th, I'll be in Hanover, Maryland at the Hall at Live during my Come Together tour. Then next week, I'm coming all across Indiana. Gary on October 23rd, West Lafayette on October 24th, and Fort Wayne on October 25th, and Bloomington, October 26. Get your tickets right now at tomsgroro.com slash tour. 100%. You're 32? Yeah, I'm 32. How old do you think I am?

If I had to put a silent age on it, you told my silent, or like, not for what I guess was solid. If I was getting paid. If I was getting paid. Who do you think is older? Do you know Tom's girl? Uh-huh.

Who do you think is older, me or Tom? I'm going to give you. And it's because I see you so much. Yeah. You know, the longer you see somebody so much, they start to look older. dude is that what's happening with mirrors yeah because I saw a picture I saw and we can definitely lower the AC in here a few fucking idiots growing spores Jesus Christ do you ever

notice how hot it is near I try not to think about it for real you don't think with your body you just got to think with your mind wow yeah I think with my body yeah I see body your whole crew. That's your thing. Look, you came here, you got your tities out, right in the wall. I think with my body. Yeah. Yeah, I think. But your body has gotten you far. You're the only person I can say that's got like this, like the, I'm trying to say it like in the best way, but you got like a, the sex appeal that nobody wants, but you didn't make so much money off of you, you just being you, and they love it. So it's like, you're like, you accept to you are so it's a great idea like i'm like white druski yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah he should

just got you for this kid it's funny because druskey is like someone who can fall uh-huh and really hurt himself yeah yeah and laugh it off and you know he's walking to the other room going no i think i fuck yeah yeah yeah yeah but it's it's for the joke yeah yeah yeah yeah your old generation i think is so fun for me like your your whole like i think there it's uh it's funny because you forget how old fuckers are. Yeah? Like, yeah, like Tom's, I think Tom's 47. Theo's 45.

Hold on, Theo. It's like 45. Yeah. He looks, he, well. No, Theo is not 45. 100%. Google it. How old's Theo Vaughn?

Theo Vaughn's been in the game for a minute. He's 45. No, he's not. Yeah, he is. He actually, he's 32. I've known Theo for 20 years. This is hysterical I wish I had his new number

I will call him I have his new number Can you call him? He's really 45 How old did you think he was? Not that He's got to be 50 He's a

But it's a But it's okay to be 50. No, it's, it's okay. It's a catfish because... It's a catfish. You're close with you. You have a friend. He's 45? Yeah. I think the world don't know that. No, I don't think the world knows that. I don't think he, yeah, I don't, I mean, I don't think he goes out and tells people his age, but he doesn't hide it. He's been in the media for his entire life. Yeah. So is freaking Orlando Brown. He's not 45.

Who's Orlando Brown? Orlando Brown, the guy that sold Sprites? No, that's from Disney Channel. That's a raven. I mean... Who am I thinking of Orlando? No? Yeah.

Orlando Brown's 37. How old's Chris Brown? How old's Chris Brown? Chris Brown's 36? Wow, I did not know that. Shut the fuck up. I'm blown away that you thought Theo was... Chris Brown is sexy, though.

Who? Chris Brown? Yeah. Chris Brown's so talented. Yeah. I was sexy, too, right? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What else age? Let's see, this is the guest of age. Let's see somebody else to receive. How old do you think Rogan is? Oh, Steph Rogan. No, Joe. Oh, Joe Rogan. Theo's older than Seth Rogan?

58, 60? He's almost 60, yeah. Do you think the more money you get, it helps you, like, not look old? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. How much money? Do you think I have more money? or age?

You got more money. Yeah. You definitely look your age. I look my age, yeah. Wait, are you 63? 52. I was close. That's not close.

52. But that's amazing. You still look good. I look good for 52. Tom is, how old's Tom Segura? He's 47, I think. 46. Tom's a year old and Theo,

but he looks old as fucking better than Theo. Oprah. How old's Oprah? That's good. Let's guess. 63. 71. 63.

71? Oh my God. Fucking nailed it. Oh, my God. This is really... Wait, how old is Drusky? He's got to be 27. No, no.

It's 33. 34. 31. 31. Okay. Kevin Hart. Hang on. Kevin Hart.

Hang on. Hang on. Don't do it yet. Kevin Hart. 47. I got 47. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. Don't do you. I'm doing the math. That was 26. He was probably 21. You fucking cheating. Oh, no. I'm doing the math.

When I met him. I was 25 when I met him. 21. I'm guessing he was 21 because I think he was drinking. No, he wasn't drinking. Lil Keb is what they called him. I'm going to say he is 46. Did I say?

What did I? What did you say? I think I said 46. 46? Yeah. 46. God damn. He's done a lot of 46.

Yeah. Oh, let's do this one. Oh, wow. He's been all my life. Samuel Jackson. Oh, he's got to be 82. Yeah. 82. I'm going to say 85.

85. He's so old, he married his niece. Wow. Are they together? Morgan Freeman. Okay, we'll do Morgan Freeman next. Sam and Jackson's got to be 81. I'm going to do 85. They don't have it. 76, 76. He's been old all my life.

Yeah. He has been old. Do you remember, do you remember, Jungle fever Jungle fever, he was in Jungle Feber, right? He played the Crackhead? Probably so. Oh, Chris Rock. What about Chris Rock? Oh, he's got to be, I bet he's 57.

57? I bet he's 60. I bet he's 60. I'm with two. 60? 60. Boom. Chris Rock.

Okay, out of everyone with his name, he probably looks the best. Who do you feel like the sexiest comedian is? Male? Yeah. Male comedian. I mean Now hang on Do we quantify

Don't type it before we've said it Do we quantify Like do they have to be You have to know who they are right No no Just even if I just had to agree with you Like oh wow I think one of the best looking comedians

Out there God It's all funny All comedians are funny looking No Jeff die is good looking Let's look him up Jeff die is attractive

Okay Wow Wow. Yeah. I'll tell you, I'll tell you, Jeff Dye's a good-looking dude. I think it kind of hindered him when he was younger because he was clean and he was good-looking. I'm trying to think out of New York who's good-looking. There's not a lot of good-looking comics. Yeah, that's what I say it, yeah.

But with black comics or are, Chris Rock's a good-looking dude. Matt Rife, Matt Wright, Matt Wright, Matt Wright. Yeah, Matt Wright. Oh, yeah, Matt Rife is number one. By the way, if Matt Rife is listening to this, you know he was in his bus with his headsets going, it's fucking me. It's fucking me. I'm number one. I'm the number one best fucking comic out there.

Dane Cook was a fucking sex pot when he was at it. Wow. Now, how old do you think Dane Cook is? Dane Cook, 53? Yeah, he's probably 52. 53. God dang.

I know him. He was definitely, was he a comedian that just came out with a Netflix special but did all the drugs. Who's that? He, from between two friends. Zach Alf and that?

No, no, no, no, no. He was, he just had, he got a Netflix documentary. We say he did a lot of drugs. Charlie Sheen was sexy, too. I know yet. Charlie Sheen was. Yeah, Charlie Sheen was. Wait, did you see between, you said between two friends.

What was the show called? It was called two and a half men. Yeah, same thing. But there was between two ferns. Yeah. Did you ever see between two friends? Yeah, yeah, I love it. Did you ever see the original?

No, I don't mean original. And I mean, I don't mean this like, because you can't really say anything on the internet. Yeah. Say pull it, clip it, make you feel like you're talking shit about a guy you love. Clip for me. Yeah. I love Zach. Between Two Ferns is an original.

I think Caleb Pressel is original. I think you're an original. I think everything's, what you do, when you make something, you can be a student of the game and learn from other people. But when you make something, it's your thing. I think it's original because it's you doing it. Yeah. But again, that's like LeBron James and Kobe. They do the same thing, but they're original because it's their personality.

Yeah. You know, and they both, you know, I just got into a deep dive on yesterday was a mellow ball. Yeah. And I was like, oh, he's amazing. And then someone texted me. They're like, no, it's just highlights. Like his team sucks. No, he really, he really is good.

Is he? Yeah. He knows how to play. Like, he knows how to dribble. He knows how to shoot. He's so fun to watch. Yeah. Yeah.

And then it's just Charlotte. Sometimes it's not, like, who you are, is where you at. I just feel like he got to change. He got to go to a new team. Is it like crowdwork? When you watch somebody do crowd work, you're like, God, that guy's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you're like, oh, it's material sucks.

Yeah, yeah. Like, he can't do the easy stuff. That's what I said, material. Look at that. Okay, let's see. He's so fun to watch. Look, he drivel, look, he drivel so. And he knows how to pass without looking.

Like, look, look at that is nice. You want to know who your mommy of, like, Patrick Mahomes. Yeah. Of, like, how he plays. Like, the young Patrick Mahomes. He was going crazy. I love his fucking long three-pointers where he kind of steps away from it

with one foot. That's how Patrick Mahomes was in his primes. I think he's still in his prime. It's kind of, it's... He wasn't last night, but... It was a good game. It was a great game. Yeah, it was a bad loss for me.

But that's what I... Did you bet? I almost did. Little Duvall almost better, though. Thank God I didn't. Little Duval, how old was a little deval? Oh, Lord Duval. He's got to be older than me.

He got to be 60. He's got to be 63. Little Duval got to be 60. He's been at it, 48? Wow. Oh, my God. All right, well, let's guess how tall he is. Little Dubal is.

I'm guessing 411. Five feet. I'm going to go under five feet. I'm going to go under five feet, and I'm going to say 112 pounds. Oh, five, two. Oh, wow. How much does he weigh? You wonder who's aging right in front of me?

Mike Epps. Really? Yeah. The last ball. I had was busting at the seams by the time I was done with it. I could forget sitting down with it in my back pocket. That's why I switched to Ridge Wallet and never looked back. It's such a cool design. It has so much room for everything you need without being bulky. Ridge Wallet uses premium materials like aluminum, titanium, and carbon fibers for a sleek and modern design. You can

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Learn more at amex.ca.caps. I know my gaps for 20. You know what's so funny is when you meet someone, like when you're not, like you, you, I know that there's a period where you weren't famous, but you pop pretty quick. Right, right. When you aren't famous and you meet someone who then becomes famous and then you know them like for 20 years, but you've seen them blow up. up, you wonder if they still remember you? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That happened with me and, like, Craig Robinson and Mike Epps.

I saw my gaps at a party. He was like, Bertie Bert. And I was like, I was like, you remember me? That's like, it makes you like, yes. Like, what the fuck. Yeah, it makes you. And he's like, yeah, fuck yeah, I remember you. But you, you know you had a moment with them. But you just go like, I, it was, they must

have that with millions of people. Now you got to me, Cat Williams at? Yeah. How was it? Can you talk me through the experience? Can you use his voice, too? shit you a rock star motherfucker uh-huh he had a white uh bacclova on the or kelly mask what's the bachlaba is it a bachlaba type in type in cat william's white bachlava i'm almost certain you'll see the exact same one he was wearing what's it what's it called what's the thing black dudes wear so they don't get their ops uh oh uh ski mask uh uh oh yeah ski mask Balacaba.

That's it. That's the actual one. Oh, he had that on? He came up. I mean, I knew it was him, obviously. Yeah. Yeah. He comes up and he's like,

Burt Chrysia, you're a fucking rock star, N-Wir. And I said, oh, thank you. You know, I literally was like, you know who I am? He was like, fuck yeah. You are a rock star taking your shirt off. I've been trying to take my shirt off for years. And words won't let me. I can't even wear a vest on stage, Berk, Christa.

Uh-huh. Keep doing you, man. I love it. And I was like, fucking, I was, I was through the roof. Can you tell me a time that you asked somebody for their number, like a celebrity? Where you was like, damn, I want to get his number. And you got it? And I got it?

Yeah, or you got turned down. Oh, oh, oh, I just did a good one the other day. Fuck, I wish I could remember who it was. I did a good one the other day. And, uh, I asked for trick daddy's number. Oh, wow. Uh-huh. I was like, you should keep up.

And he's like, yeah, call my people. And he's walking. Wait, what about you? You've interviewed everybody. Yeah. You've interviewed, you've interviewed people I know, and I go. I'm still laughing after a trick to anything. That's funny. He's like, yeah, call my people. Yeah.

You got them. You got me. Yeah. You got me, right? Like, the way he did is like, we're here right now. Yeah. This happened. Do it again. Yeah.

That's funny. But you've interviewed people that I go, like, that I always, that I like, I don't know anything about. Uh-huh. And I go, I want to know what they're really like. Right, right. Because, like, if you said to me, like, people always go, what's Joe like? Mm-hmm.

Like, for most people, I just go, he's the sweetest guy, you know, whatever, dot, dot, dot. But I feel like he to type, he is who he is on the internet. He's intense. Yeah. I feel like, listening to Joe Rogan,

I feel like, um, no, Nicki Minaj. Nicky Minaj. You interviewed Nikki Minaj. Yeah. She's fucking.

When I tell you, let me tell you what Nicky Minaz did to me. I never talked about this story. Nikki Minaj and right there, and right there, that, right there. I asked her for a Lamborghini, and she said, okay, I'll get it for you.

But the interview comes out, you know, my life is changing. I, like, cut off my grandma, cut off everybody. Oh, and that interview came out. Yeah, because my life changed. Yeah. I let go on my family. Because you interview Nikki Minogue, your phone blows up. Yeah.

Your podcast drops when? Yeah. On Mondays? No, it was random. It was because she had to approve it. And I pissed her off because I did a preview clip and I posted it. I was so excited. And she said, by the way, I didn't improve this.

And I'm like, oh, my God. I'm like, fuck, I didn't take it down. And then I'm DMLA. I'm sorry, Nikki. I was so excited. Like, thank God it didn't, like, go out of proportion. But around Christmas time, it was 1 o'clock a.m. I'm sleep.

And I'm getting calls. and then I check your phone and I go I go I go on Instagram Nicky Bernard says I got through a Lamborghini

and I'm like all my and I'm sitting outside and I'm like I hope it sounds like and I'm praying I'm like before I look out the window

I'm like oh my gosh she really got me a limogany like I'm at the shit on these holes so and I'm like I'm so excited

you don't understand I'm at the window like 1 o'clock I got woke up out of my sleep and I look outside nothing there so I'm like all right okay maybe it's

and I go outside I'm in my boxers I'm looking and my heart was so broken and it was just like it was like when did she start

joking like that why she do that to me you know what I'm saying like I'm like why 1 a.m. she's thinking to my meat because I thought it was real

I'm like Biggest gift to appreciate you yeah I was mad at that look outside you right now surprise and I so said

you see the biggest appreciate you no L or nothing I was so upset like biggest great appreciate And it was like, why is she thinking about me?

So I thought it was real. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, if you did that to me, I'd be like, damn, like, he really fucks with me. Look, we had a good time. We smiling and selfies. I was like, yes, I'm like, I'm a barb. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that shit made me feel like shit.

And nobody understands how that is for somebody. You know, when your daddy say he's coming back? Probably not. No, I know. I know. Can I tell you when you said that? I do know what that is, but only because I'm friends with Donnell. Yeah.

And he's told me what that feels like. Yeah. And immediately I went, I know that feeling is sitting on the stoop. My dad's coming, get me. Yeah. It's like, he came back, but he came back with more kids. And presents for them. Yeah.

It's crazy. And was that the interview that popped? No, Orlando Brown. Really? Alendo Brown, it was him. He was, he was, when I tell you, he was like over the place like Orlando Brown clips where like look like I'm on the mic he sucked the mic

randomly for people who don't know who Orlando Brown is tell them who he is he's from that so Raven oh yeah I remember him yeah so and he's just iconic like there's that whole generation of like Kiki Kiki Palmer yeah Kiki and they're all from those those Nickelodeon shows I don't know Kiki Palmer I don't think Where did Kiki Palmer blow up from? She was on... I don't think she was there on the TV show.

Because I remember for a long shot, she's been acting for so long. By the way, she's a good person, too. Yeah. She's done so much stuff. She has. She had that new movie on Instagram. Don't that feel good that you can Google and say the list going? I would never have that.

Yeah, you will. I mean, it's too late. No, son. How old are you? What? 30, 32. 32. I'm 52.

I've been in two things. Let's do your list. Come on. Let's see. Oh, my list sucks. Burke Chrysher. See? Oh, hold on.

It's all specials. It's all specials. But that's good. That's... Is that you? Yeah. Who's that dude at the bottom? Go all the way at the bottom.

That's not you. History of the joke. It was a... It's just everything I've ever been in. Okay, okay. But why didn't they have your picture? Because it's not... I was just like a talking head.

I know, but it still would have just been better. It would have been nice. It's Lewis. It's Lewis Black. Trip of a lifetime. Trip flip. This is all the Cinderella's I produced myself.

Best in Town was a show. What was your mom? Which one? Then you know all this is like I'm like this is all this is fake. Bert the Kong. I mean, not fake, but it's just like stuff I was kind of in.

Kind of. Yeah. So you got like a shot. Like hey. Yeah, like nothing really big. And then, uh,

I, right there, uh, hurt Bert was my first. That's wrong. That's actually, Bert the Conquer. That was my first TV show.

where like they put marketing budget behind it and then after that the next thing is specials it's the machine it's comfortably dumb it's hey big boy it's razzle-dazzle it's secret time and then and then the big thing and then the cabin was like the first thing I ever

made that got traction that like people watched and liked and that was on Netflix and it was during the pandemic I took you know honestly to be dead honestly it's a show that you could easily do is we're supposed to be scripted about me and comics going to a cabin in the woods and experiencing things

and we couldn't get a cast in time so we couldn't script it because we couldn't write because we didn't other people. So we just went to a cabin with comics and we just did live podcast. Why don't you still keep going? What happened? Just the time?

I'm speaking out of my ass but I think the way Hollywood works is when you have a hit and then you leave the network, No one wants to bring your hit back because it's not theirs. They want to create their own hits. So I always wanted to bring it back,

but the guy that created it left, and he's in the UK now. So the guy that he, there's very complicated, but it was a spinoff of a French show. There was a French call called Le Cabin. And I know that sounds crazy, but we got the rights from them

because this guy had done this great thing called traveling with my father with Jack Whitehall. And he loved the Le Cable. Cabin, which is a French show. They brought it to America. They brought it to me. It was supposed to be scripted, but we couldn't come up a script, so I just brought comics,

so it was really a podcast. So the guy was crazy, is the guy who created the show, Le Cabon. Am I saying it right? How do you say Le Cavan? La Cabin. Okay, Le Cabang. He came to see his show, his show. He was like, I want to see you in production.

I met him. And he was like, what the, so how do you do you? do today? What do you do today? And I said, I have Bobby Lee and Donnell Rollins. And he's what will you do? And I was like, well, Donnell, Donnell's homophobic and Bobby likes to get naked, so we're going to have a good time. And he was like, huh? You got them two together? Yeah. Oh, wow, I got to watch that. And so we started the episode with Bobby sitting naked in my lap and Donnell walking in and then walking immediately out. And he goes, I don't get why that's funny. And I was like, well, because Donnell doesn't like naked shit.

Yeah. The next thing we did was we put a tube up my asshole and we put coffee. We did a coffee. We did a coffee. Hold on. Hold on. Let's just sit.

Like, just sit in a moment real quick if we could just sit in, like, silence for a little bit. Of course. So let me know when you're ready. And what happened? We did a coffee enema. No, no. What did you play? Let me see if I heard it right.

So you put an enema. So he put a tube in my asshole and poured coffee into my asshole. And it goes into my body. And then I laughed and I shit it out all over the place. And the dude who created this show that was a scripted show walked off the set. He goes, this is not to my show. He just walked off. And I was like, hey, thank you, man.

It was going to meet. you the next thing as he was walking off Bobby and Donnell were pretending to be each other's fathers in scream therapy and Donnell was just doing a horrifically racist

Korean accent and Bobby was doing a or a racist literally black accent sorry I'm in jail Donnell I can't raise you Donnell and he's like oh Bobby you are disappointment and so the guy walked off but yeah but that's the reason you don't want to do

So, or maybe I don't know, I don't know. And then the machine, I made the machine movie. I have to see that. It's still on Netflix right now? Yeah, it's good. It's really funny. Like, you'd like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no. Because I think you have a, it's interesting because I heard, I watched your podcast with Theo. A lot.

I do love Theo. And I, and I think his podcast interviews with guys like you are really fucking good. Yeah. Really good. It just happened about open. And he's really good at that. Are you sick of edibles that taste like lawn clippings and hit like chamomile tea into clouds. into cloud makes THC that's legal, delicious, and actually does its job.

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Yeah. How come? I feel like where our funny is is our trauma so it was something I always think like our movies

are things that we go through and we make fun of it like Friday was about two guys getting put out not being able to pay rent that's a sad situation we hear but they made it funny so it's like

and then it's like I had to think of another one like I just broke down the best black movies. Like girls trip. Like them. It was like two girls,

like they all go on a trip and it goes wrong. And they all start falling out with each other, but they made it funny. So I can say our culture, we go through things and we, in real life,

if you just heard it, you're like, damn, it's fucked up. But we make it funny. And when you think about super bad, it's like, what the fuck is that movie about? It was just a lot of awkward

McLevin, fake IDs. And it was funny, like, it was awkwardness because it's no, it's no real situation for real. But it's funny. Like stepbrothers That's not a bad thing

You're like oh I got stepbrother We don't like each other That's not all But they made it funny So it's like in our culture I feel like we learn to go through things And we make it funny Because it's like y'all can relate through this

That's really fascinating Because yeah When you look at super bad It's basically about two guys Trying to lose their virginity Or one guy trying to lose a virginity Another guy lying to his buddy saying I'm not going the same college

Yeah it's like a cluster up Yeah And it's awkwardly funny So like I feel like And you know And in the culture it's different like our culture. We make fun of our pain.

And then when you look at movies like Super Bad, it's like, it's random shit, super bad. What's that? I still don't know what this movie about. What's that called? Pine Up Express. It was like weed getting high. Like, yeah, like, and it was just like,

but. And speaking of movies. Yeah, wait, I don't know what Pineapple Express is about. I don't know what a lot of White Movies are about. That's so funny. But it's like the storyline, it's just like, you don't, it's not a plot or end. It's like, it's drunk.

dealer, he runs with his drug litter, he's seen a murder. I don't even know what his job was at the beginning. For real. Yeah, that is a really convoluted script. So I feel like some, like, you know, in the culture. But it's a fucking brilliant. Yes. In a script like, when you're reading it, you're like, what the fuck is this? So wait, okay, this is a really interesting conversation. So what happens in in white movies is they make funny scenes, funny sketches, and what they're looking for is like almost like... Can you type it

top black comedian movies and I'm going to break down like I want to go through top black black they were scared to type that yeah okay so look all right let me go down

some of these all right like Friday right Friday was that's ice cube and smoky right there right that was about him Friday oh my God Friday was him and his friend he got fired on his day off and his friend Smokey which is Chris Tucker

comes over and he puts him in another situation he like since you got fired let's smoke this weed man they smoked the weed but he smoked Chris Tucker like the weed man plugged the which he's supposed to be selling it now he got to him in another problem now they're trying to kill both of yeah so like that was like some shit that like that was some fucked up shit to do like

describe Medea for me Medea. Like, you know what? Is that basically just breaking down a black family system and saying, we've all got this? Yeah, like that grandma that just keep the family together, but like, but it's a lot of sad shit going on. Yeah, not all of these are black movies.

All right, CB4. CB4 is probably the most relatable. Oh, I heard that was when he played the cranky. I never got to watch it, though. But early Chris Rock as an actor was, I think, is really fucking good. Although his top five movie is an amazing fucking movie. Type of Ice Cube movies.

Let me tell you something about, Ice Cube. Let me tell you something. I'm going to point this out. Yeah. Every Ice Cube movie, he has played himself, nobody else. And I'm going to tell you, look, first fight, look, let's, all right, let's go down to the bottom. Boys in the hood. He was mad. Yeah. Friday, he was mad. Indicondas, he was mad. Indicondas, he was mad. I got the hook up as like a smart, look. Players club. He was a pen. He was, yeah, he was mad. He got two fights. Yeah. Friday at the next, he was mad. He was mad. He was mad. He was mad. He was mad. He was mad. all about the Benjamin he was mad

barbershop mad like the shop was shutting down again Friday at the next mad again barbershop mad again or were there yet

didn't fuck with the kids mad first Sunday mad at him for that mad with Kiki Palmer he was mad

Jake's promoters he was mad he was a Jakey promoter right along mad at the own he didn't like Kevin Hart mad

it keeps going up first fight He didn't like him mad. Oh, he didn't like no, his second cast that he was. He never liked him. Wait, do you think, do you think Guy's Cube is really like an angry dude? Shit. Boys in Hood.

It was like mad. He was mad in there, too. He does not, like, it's not no movie where you see him like, yeah, man. There's no one movie, right alone, too. Lottery ticket, lottery ticket. Is that the one where Mike Gaps gets a lottery ticket? Yes. No, no, no, no.

He was in that one. That's bow wow movie. But he's in there. But I'm saying every movie. All about the Benjamin's is where my cap's guess. Yes, that's where he was a bounty hunter, mad, trying to get. Yeah. Every co-host that he was next to, are we there yet?

He did not like them kids. One thing about Ice Cube, he always had a part two of the movies, these mad movies. How much money do you think Ice Cube is? Ice Cube got to be 71. But he's a genius because he made it through Hollywood will be in itself. 56. He's younger than Joe Rogan I know that's fucking

Sorry cute But what I'm trying to say He's a genius To be able to Go through Hollywood It's say I don't need no script I got it I don't like him

Yeah He didn't like Kevin He didn't like Kevin Hart He didn't like Mike Epps He didn't like Chris Tucker All these are legend And it was so dope How they played off each other

Yeah But he just came in Like I'm not gonna like you And like 21 jumps It's such a good It's such a comic Great comic trope is the goofy, crazy, loose, silly, fun versus no.

Yeah. It's such a good comic trope. Yeah, it's a good, it's like a duo. That's fucking awesome. Yeah, and he just been like, and I said, nobody ever called this out, but Ice Cube don't be happy. And even look at the covers of the movies. Look at him. He's mad on the covers.

Click on Ride Alone. Look at the cover of Ride Alone. like first fight mad like he's never like look at like he's mad through all that who okay if you had to replace let's do this if you had to replace that with white actors who would be the mad white actor oh that's a good question i bet bill burrow would be a great ice cube uh yeah bill burrow would be a great one sebana scalco yeah look him up let me see rogan would be ideal step rogan yeah no joe rogan yeah oh shit sorry if joe rogan's if joe rogan's still acted. Yeah, I can see him

being that one. Because Sebastian's got like a, not to like, not to quantify but like his whole thing's like, who does that? Yeah. Why do you do that? What the fuck's wrong with you? Yeah. He'd be good, Sebastian be good.

How do you feel about, how do you say his name? From Superbad. What's his name? The main character. John Hill? Yeah, John Hill. His career has, like he has been so many people He has changed. I think he was Jonah Hill.

Yeah. John on here. Jonah, Joe. I feel like he got to a point where he was that person, where everybody thought, he just wanted to change his image and his whole character. Like, he was that goofy guy, and I feel like he wanted to say, it's a different version to me. See the one with the glasses and like when him losing weight. I feel like, if somebody you can get him on Spiker, I feel like he got a story to tell.

I feel like he wanted to get away from this character where he was known. and I feel like he started to, you know, be something else. That's just me being a fair looking in. I'm a real fan. Like, I'll tell you what. But you feel like it didn't change, like, how his movies changed. Oh, yeah. And I'm glad it did.

Like, when you look at him, I said this, when I did my first movie, I said, like, who do you want to work with next? I said, I don't give a fuck about working with anyone. And my director was like, or my producer was like, no, like, if you could work with someone. I think every white guy's answer is always, it's always going to be Danny McBride or Owen Wilson or what's the Vince Vaughan. Jonah Hill, in my opinion, is the best improv actor that's ever been out.

Every take he does, and I don't, I've never worked with him, but from what I hear is a little bit different than the other one, and he comes in with so many options. And when you watch Super Bad and you watch the outtakes of him doing that rant that is all improv. It's like Drewski. Yeah. And so when you're that good and it's got a.

sock to be typecast as and then we'll have this fat guy and you're like well hold on I'm actually a brilliant actor yeah and like nobody I know I know I know but and because Hollywood doesn't write brilliant actor they write fat guy like trust me I've gotten a lot of Santa Claus scripts wow yeah a lot and and I can see it so can Hollywood but like the scripts I get are like are pretty much one thing because that's what they're doing and Jonah was like I I don't need the money anymore and I don't need your description of me. I want to be who I want to be. And I don't want to be trapped in this body.

Dude, when I lost weight, the first time I lost a ton of weight, people like, you ruined your career. 40, 50 pounds? And I was like, I remember some of my best friends said, you just fucked up your stand up. I was like, what? They can't take your shirt off anymore. I was like, why not?

And they're like, because you look at your shoulders. Some of my best friends were like, you do. Or they expect you to get bigger? They just want me to be fast. Yeah, yeah. And I think they want me to be fatter, so they're happy. Yeah, yeah. I don't think they want me to be fatter. So they know the money, so they're.

I guess. I don't know. But this is me at my skinniest on the right, and that's me on my fattest yesterday. And then, but like, and I think Jonah Hill probably was just like, yo, I'm going to make my own path. Yeah. And it sucks. It's like people go, people may say to you, like, yo, we're looking for like someone just to be deadpan and just sit there and be quiet. And just be funny that way. They don't know how you're funny. They can't quantify how you're funny

They just know it works And they go, yo, we need someone to do this, this, this Hey, you come in do this And then they tell you, do your thing And you're I didn't know my phone was on Did you just take five pictures? Yeah, you look, look at him

Who's that? Look What's up? Hey, what's up? What? How you doing? I'm still trying to figure out.

What's that? And he said, what the hell will he see you? Jesus. You see him? And he said, what the hell to you? Who is that? No, what the hell, man. What the hell?

He got my number one time, and I didn't know. He was like, oh, he was like, what the hell? Like, he called me on accident. She called you and goes, what the hell? Yes, and then he calls me all. the time. Did anyone see what he looks like? I don't.

I'll try to call him. Two rows of teeth. One there and one here. Am I right? The camera's right there. And then he picks up what he won't. He doesn't pick up for what you call. Oh.

What up? What the hell? What's up, man? What the hell? Okay, all right. That's all he says. What's up? What the hell?

He calls you at 7 in the morning all the time. What the hell? Where's he from? Minnesota. I start really talking. Do you like being famous? See, this is my thing. I feel like when I, and this is like something I talk about in my stand-up where it's like

people don't really. realize that they're famous, people make you famous. And I don't think, and I'm using the name, I don't think, like, Beyonce woke up one day and said, look, I can't go to Walmart no more. I can't, or I can't go to Target. I feel like when you go do what you normally do, they act like you shouldn't be there. And that's when they make you famous. Like what?

Like, I go to T.J. Max. I'm in there. And they're like, what are you doing this motherfucker? Yeah. And I'm like, I'm trying to get a discount like you. Yeah. and then I'm shopping with my daughter like, what's you doing here?

And I feel like people make you feel like I can't go to these places no more. Yeah. And they develop the word famous to treat you differently. Like, I feel like we're all the same. I'm good for my talent. You're good for yours.

But people like, I'm at the airport. Like, what are you doing here? I got to get on a flight. Yeah. Oh, you sit and coach. Don't use the bathroom. He's like, what you're doing in here? And you hold your own dick?

You sit and coach? You're like, you're sitting in coach? Yes. Oh, shit, it's not going good for you? Oh, God. And then the kind of car you drive, what are you doing that? Like, and that's why I said, people, if we understood it's okay to be known for your talent and just like, I love what you do, keep doing it.

Yeah. Hey, man, keep going. It's cool. But when you, like, sitting back and they filming you and they, this and that, what you're doing? I just feel like I'm thankful to be this and I'm thankful that you appreciate what I do. And I love, thank you. And I want everybody to know you can chase your dreams. That's that.

But I don't never feel like I'm better than nobody. but certain people make you that way. And that's like young jock, he was doing Uber. Like, what are you doing Uber? What if he just wanted Uber one day? So I feel like people develop the word famous owner people. That's interesting. Yeah, like, you can't just go do nothing.

Like, you can't just walk down the street. Well, I was about to say with your shirt off, you could. But like, if I was walking down the street, my shirt off sweating and it's like, well, he on drugs. What's wrong with him? Like, I can't just do what, and it takes away, like, I couldn't live. Like, bro, I'm watching literally Michael Jackson. can you look at Michael Jackson

creates he created the own store he bought a grocery store he rented out of a grocery store and rent it out of a grocery store and put pay actors in there so he can go shopping for the first time

and I'm watching it and this was like he had to do that because he never been shopping before and that's what I said it's like imagine seeing Michael Jackson anywhere at Walmart

they're going to be like what he's doing look who it is and he's not going to be able to shop and this is crazy to say Look at this. He really was happy. This 2003. And he was like happy.

He rented out there and bad pay actors in there because he didn't want grocery shopping before. They were shopping so I felt like, you know, it was a real environment. Had people in there that I knew pretending as if they were shopping. So I felt like, you know, it was a real environment. And my cousins just, like they were bag boys and I went, I went shopping.

It was great. They planned everything right down to the music. All you want to do is go to the grocery store. Now people will know who you are with your stuff to put the glove on. Wow. What would be your version of this? Like, let's say, let's say, every dream you've ever putting in your journal comes true. This year, by this, 2006, you're in a movie with Ice Cube called, man, that guy's angry, right?

Right. And it's the hit movie, and you got everyone's, like, you're the shit, and you can't go out and do the things. Like, what would be your thing that you love doing? Oh, that get taken away? Yeah, got taken away. Oh, that's a good way. Getting up and going by myself. I get up and go a lot by myself.

And it's taken away now where it's like I had to have somebody with me. I feel like I can't be. Like imagine Day Chappelle by itself anywhere. It's impossible. Like, so imagine when you get that famous, because I'm like D famous, like, damn, he's still going. Like. keep going see

yeah it's not like A like we accept you like A list is like we accept you like we love you here like you know C is like you know like catch up

like catch up the A what's B like bitch you on the way and I'm D you know but with me being D famous D list it's like

I I can imagine certain people that's on a level to where their presentation, it's everything and they judge you. Like, it's people that's going to have bad days and it's okay. Like, you know, it's like everybody's still going through normal things. And I learn not to treat people like what I see them at.

I understand it's a person behind that. Just because I see a cashier at McDonald's, I don't treat you like that. I understand you still a personality. I feel like some people just still don't know you still are a human being. You're not a robot. You know, so I understand people judge people for their jobs. It's like it's something behind that. Like, Beyonce still has to, you know, go take shits.

You know, she still got diarrhea. You know, she still got family that she loves. She still might have, like, a bad day. So when, you know, problem is up, but you at the airport, you got to, you can't let nobody be like, yeah, not pictures right now. I'm kind of, you know, my grandma just died. Who goes to fuck? Like, I need this picture now.

Oh, I was with the, I was with the, I was with the, I was with my daughter. She was having a moment. She was crying and we were having like a parenting moment. We were, I mean, we were standing in public and someone just came up and said, hey, man, can I get a picture? And I was like, I'm trying to deal with something. He goes, all right, when you're done? And I was like, I'm not going to be done for a while.

She's crying. He's like, oh, then let's just bang out a selfie real quick before I go. And it makes you feel like shit both ways. It's crazy because my daughter was livid. And I was like, I understand. I understand this guy. I get his brain. Because I've seen famous people and not known how to interact and going like,

hey, can I get a picture? Like, I did it, I did, I did the thing that I hate the people do to me to Big Boy from Outcast, where I got a picture. And then we got on the plane, we were sitting in front of each other, and I asked for another one. And I was like, I already got, and as I did it, I went, I already got the picture. I hate when people do this to me. Why am I doing this to prove I was with him in two places? And so I understand that.

But it's crazy when you say that. To get up and go is, I was, to talk about Theo one more time, I asked Theo the other day, I was like, hey, do you travel alone? He travels everywhere by himself. He goes everywhere by himself. He has no team. It's him. He gets on a plane by himself. He walked by himself. I was talking to my wife. We were talking about the possibility of infidelity. She wasn't accusing me anything. But we were joking. And I said, I haven't been alone in seven years. I haven't been alone. Somebody's in your business. Someone's been next to me for seven years. If not one person, seven people have been with me for seven years.

Yeah. And that's interesting you say that because it would be nice. Not me, I mean, you know, obviously you get what you want because you work for it. And then you want the team and you want to create and you want to make things. But I see what you're saying of like the old school college days for me of like getting up and just disappearing. Yeah. And no one asking where I was and not caring to check in with anyone. Yeah.

No one going like, well, I'm worried about you. Where did you go? Yeah. Because of my brother, he was like, yeah, it's like, it's a place where you going there. It's tities and ass everywhere. You got to pay to get in. You can't pick who you want. I can't go in there.

No, you can. Man. But he's like, it sounds fun, no. Do you remember the first time you got that you ruined a strip club for your friends? Yeah. And that is because I threw a lot of money. Yeah. And every time we go or they, they seem with me, they're like, all right, he's here.

He's back. Yeah. And it's like, I just want some chicken today. Are you talking about magic city? Blue Flame. Okay. Because Magic City's got the best wings in the fucking world.

Yeah, they, yeah. You said chicken. I was like, wait, Blue Flame's got good chicken? Yeah, but let's, you know, Magic City got it, though. But I was just in Blue Flame because it's like, it's bigger. It's a bigger space. Really? Yeah, yeah.

I went to a strip club with bread or not the comedian. When you go to a strip girl, do you strip or you keep a club? No, they asked me to take my shirt off all the time. Yeah. All the time. They're like, hey, come on. What's the difference between, like, the white girl strip club and the black Girl Strip Club.

It's a power dynamic. A black stripper conducts yourself with more power than a white stripper. White stripper comes from a place of, of, and I hope I apologize, it's just my perspective,

and I just thought about this because we were at Magic City with Pac-Man. A white stripper comes from a from a punching down place. When you get a lap dance from a white stripper, you almost feel bad for her. Yeah.

You're like, ugh, what happened to her life. Yeah, yeah. You get a lap dance from a black chick. She is in control. She's in power. Yeah. She's directing the narrative.

She's got a hell of jury on. Oh, yeah. She's like, there is, you don't ever, I mean, as a white guy, just as a white guy. Like if, and I'm just saying like ballpark rules. If the rules are you can't touch my ass, you don't touch a black chick's ass twice. You touch a white chick's ass twice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if you drive, if she goes, don't do that.

You know, yeah, sure, right. Well, one more time. And then, but you would don't do that with a black chick. Yeah. Black strippers, the first. The first black strip club I ever went to was Magic City and I was on ecstasy and I was blown away at how much more fun it was. Yeah. It wasn't sad.

It wasn't like, like, it wasn't like a rural. It's a different world. Yeah, it's a, it's a party. Yeah. And everyone's a part of it. And yeah, it's, I mean. And they still dance, even if they ain't getting money. Yeah.

And it's just like, like, you know, the white girl's school, they dance like, Like, that's the white girls They just like, hey, like, you know, we want to dance And it's like, oh, you know And then the white girl's like, you're going to take this fucking dance Like, you want a shot, give me a shot, motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Take me through there, take me through there.

Open a bottle of champagne. We must spend so much bottles, so much money on champagne. So I order another, and then start ordering shit for you. Yeah. Get a 6A bottles over here. The fridge isn't open. Have them opening it. Yeah.

Open this the fridge. Like, you're, like, let me tell you the first. First time I went to a strip club. We should call Pacman and hear his different. between white strippers and black strippers. I bet he's never been with a white stripper. Right. Oh, yeah.

But let me tell you, the first time I went to a strip club, I'm in there. And I see all the women I like. Black strip club? Yeah, it was all, everything. Everything. Okay. I see all the women I like. And then it's one that come.

I don't really care for it. She come up. And she's like, we want to dance. And I said, I was like, oh, I ain't. got no money on, man. Let's get my debit card. She says to A. ATM right there. I'm like, what the fuck? That was my excuse, and I did not know

this is my first. So I'm at the ATM, I'm getting the money. She's still right there. And I'm like, I'm going so slow. And she's like, and she's like, and she's looking like, I was like, yeah, she's like, you can take out how much ever you want. And I'm like, please get away. And I didn't know, I didn't know, like, and I, that was my first lie.

Yeah. that was like that got exposed and it was like damn and she got the money and you know it just made me for like shit yeah

you know and it was just like you know I gotta come back in here but not I'm not looking at you it's a weird you gotta say no it's a weird energy to not make eye contact with people yeah to be like oh fuck don't look at her

because it's almost like have you been to New York uh huh the first time you walk through Washington Square Park and people are trying to sell you weed. Yeah. If you don't know, if you're from the South, you don't know that like people going smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke. It's like,

I think, I thought they wanted cigarettes. So I was like, oh, no, I don't have one. And you just don't start the conversation. But those, that strip club energy is like, it's crazy. It reminds me of YouTube. When you're watching your favorite show and ads keep popping up. Yeah. So it's like, you can skip when you want or you can watch it. It's like, skip the ass ad. Here come an ad. That's what

like our little phrases. Like, even when I'm all with my friends, right, here come an ad. And somebody come up like, hey, man. So it's like, let's try to skip over this one. If you started a strip club, what food would you serve? Well, I would try to... You know what?

I would serve... I would serve pancakes. Pancakes, and I would serve pancakes with, like, pancakes burger, pancakes chicken, like the pancakes. Because, like, you know,

cakes. And I'll call the club cakes. That's a business. That's a brilliant business model. I don't know why they don't make more pancake tacos. Yeah. Because it's all just a sweet thing.

Yeah, definitely, yeah. I remember the first time I ever had chicken and waffles. What's that looked like pancake tacos? Pancake tacos? I should make those. I can't wait to get all this mucus out of me. Get an IV today. Get an IV.

You want to know who got me my first IB? Who? You got to look him up, listen to him. He's a dope person and he got, like, people look at him as image, but be a young boy. I wrote his name down. I don't know anything about him. Yeah. I don't know.

I know his name, but I don't know anything about him. Him or NBA Young Thug? Is there another guy named Young Thug? Tell me about him. I feel like that's the thing when you get older. All of a sudden, someone shows up and they're super hot, and, like, everyone's talking about them, and you're like, well, fuck, I don't know who that is.

That's Young Thug. Go to NBA Young Boy. Yeah, and when I tell you, he's so chill. In Korea? Like, yeah. Where's he from? Louisiana. Okay.

And he's like, right now he's on tour. Look at his tour right now. It's like they calling him like the Michael Jackson. Yeah, I saw that's how I saw him. His tour is crazy right now. It's going like where it's stadiums. God. What are they doing at his tour that they were all, everyone's talking about?

Oh, it's like raging. His tour is where they go. The cheap seats come down to the expensive seats. Yeah, they're taking over. And they're taking over. And it's just videos of people going like, this person paid $9,000 for tickets. I paid $15.

What are you doing? We got to go to one together. I'll do it. I'll do it. We'll pay for expensive seats and then watch everyone flood us. Yeah. Go, wait, go back. You got one in Atlanta coming up.

Atlanta's going to be fucking sick. Yeah. State Farm Arena. Yeah. October 18th. I'm on the road. Are you on the road? On a Wednesday, I may not be.

Am I on the road, October 18th? Oh, fuck. That's a Saturday? What does it say Wednesday? They all say Wednesday. He got two shows there, right? Or only one. Yeah, on the 15th, October 15th.

Yeah, and then he got the 18th. Fuck. And then the 18th, too? Who opens for him? It's different people. Yeah. So if you want to go to his show, can you text him and be like,

you can you get me tickets? Yeah. Yeah? Oh, you get you backstage? Mm-hmm. Really? And then do you get intimidated in the backstage? Because I'm sure there's a ton of people.

I get, when you go backstage in Atlanta to an NBA young boy show, it's got to be the who's who. Yeah. Everyone's got to be there. The thing is that I tell people, when you're around people that got big names and you're excited, it's to always be you. I feel like we, like in you, you can speak for experience. You've been next to where this is naturally, like Donnell.

When you meet him, it's just him. Like, I feel like. When you be you, people can accept who you are. And also, don't tell yourself, don't be weird. Be weird, be you. Because if you stop yourself and being yourself, it can be weird. Like, okay, like, you know, so that's what said. And it determines, like, your friendship.

Like, you know. Yeah. I always tell people, if you come backstage at one of my shows, have a blast. I want you to have a blast. What about how you got to meet? I think y'all do good together backstage. Like, post Malone. Hey, y'all got to, like, kick it.

Yeah, I ran into him one time. I mean this out of respect I don't mean this shitty but like he has so much going on on his face that I did not recognize him yeah you can get we first started off

it started getting a lot of tattoos and it was like we were in a group and also he was in me and I once again just being careful with what I say he was in my space he was at the backstage at the comedy store

so he was in my space so I saw a guy with like gold teeth all the tats the big beard smoking a cigarette and we almost bumped into each other and he was like hey man huge fan. And I was like, and as soon as he said that, I went, oh, thanks, kind of directed eye contact and walked away. And someone was like, yo, Post Malone knows who you are. And I was like, what? And then like Post Malone, I had to go back and go, I didn't recognize you. Yeah. And he was like, really. But he has so much going on that like, it's a lot. And so if you're getting recognized, yeah, you can get caught off carb. He was very sweet. I took a picture with him. Yeah, that's like me. I used, like, I had my braids. So like, like you, you lost weight. You had it. So sometimes people. People do change their image a lot.

Do you like, did you like when he was doing hip hop? Did you like Post Malone then? Yeah, I like when people be comfortable with themselves and they live in their truth. Like, and I'm learning, I don't care to point fingers. I don't care about all this and that because, like I tell people, don't match ugly with ugly. Even if you feel like they're doing, like, it's okay.

Like, let them figure it out. Let them go through it. So don't match ugly with ugly. I learned, like, not to get people, you got me fucked up. I feel like people pass those out so much, like, when are you going to really use? You got me fucked up. And, prime example, somebody can go to McDonald's get their order wrong. You got me fucked up.

Somebody can cut them off on a road. You got me fucked up. It's like, why do you care so much that somebody can get in your brain to say you got me fucked up? Like, how many are you going to pass out? Yeah. So again. Yeah, like, it's like how many, I don't get that many you got me fucked up. I got like two of them a month.

And when I use it, I really use it good. It's going to be from my wife. Kids. My kids. That's what I said. But other than that, I understand that this is normal. It's okay. Like, I don't have to live in this moment forever.

Yeah. And once you ask yourself, do I got to live in this moment forever? It's all right. Like, if somebody cut you off, I get it. Beep, I'm not about to follow you home. I don't have to live in that moment forever. Yeah. The strongest thing is the most powerful thing is not giving a fuck.

Yes, that's what I said. If you deal with someone young in the service industry, and they don't give a fuck and you give a fuck and they don't there's nothing more powerful when I worked I used to work at Barnes & Noble I remember one time this lady asked for a magazine you had to take the escalator up to get to the magazines and usually if I took the escalator up I was going to where the coffee was yeah so she got behind me and I took up the escalator and I walked past the magazines and I forgot she was with me and I got in line to get coffee and she was standing next to me.

She was like, what are we doing? And I went, oh, shit, I forgot you were here. And she was like, what? And I was like, yeah, I'm sorry. I go, I guess my head's just not into this. I go, they're over there. And she was like, no, you need to take me over there. I was like, oh, I'm getting a coffee.

She was like, no, you were helping me first. I was like, oh, yeah, I'm going to get a coffee. Like, I didn't give a fuck. If I got fired, I didn't care. Yeah. She was so livid. Yeah. And I did not care.

Yeah. And me not caring was so much more powerful. Yeah. Then anything she could have said to my manager, Dwayne. Yeah. She. Duane, he was black. Yeah, he was.

Yeah, he was. He asked me if I wanted to be a manager and I was like, no. Right. And he was like, I'm a manager. And I was like, exactly. And he was like, it's benefits. He's like, you went to college. You're an English major.

And I was like, I don't think that partner's in my own, doesn't exist anymore. So I thought I made the right call. No, that was good. That's like, that you like, and that's what I said. And guess what? She went and she told a lot of people, that story and you went on about

your life and she probably talking about that story to this day yeah like oh I remember him he's that fucker they walk past what if they made a pill called I don't give a fuck how good I guess that's called weed no that's cocaine cocaine yeah cocaine

yeah that's right yeah I never see the cracker that gives a fuck about shit what they dress what they do how they steal that's what that is yeah they don't give a fuck I'm in my own world that's ultimately what all drugs are is a dose I don't give a fuck.

Yeah. Especially you drink it when you're drunk. I don't give a fuck. You go to jail. You go to jail, you wake up, like, what the fuck happened? That's the only thing when you come down from the I don't give a fuck. Like, you're like, fuck it, I need another one. I give a fuck next morning. Like, drunk people are so cool.

Like, they'd just stay at home. Like, I had a drunk uncle. He just stayed at home and he got drunk and he just got mad at when he ran out of beer. And it was just so, his name was Uncle, And it was just amazing and relaxing to know that you can drink your own shit and sit on this couch and watch football and watch and just stay out of the way. There's no, there's no better feel. I know the feeling Uncle Rob had. There's no better feeling than having a plethora of beer in your fridge.

Yeah. And knowing all you got to do is get up and get another one. And then that sound reflection, that crack and open sound? The, this sound of a, this sound, when you're, when you got nothing to do. Uh-huh. And it's like, the best is when it's on a Sunday and you've got a flight on Monday. And you're going, I'm going to pack my bag. I'm going to fucking watch them YouTube.

And then you got a six-pack for the club. And it's in the fridge. And you got four left. This sound is so fucking. And every time I heard it, I said, he about get drunk. And that way, when they wake up in a der Rine, it was that. You know, I just thought about this, because my mind is so random. They should get you, it's a new season that King of the Hill.

You should go get you a character on there. Okay. You need animation. Carol, King of the Hill. That would help them. It would be big. Yeah. Yeah.

If you could reboot one franchise and make, like, one animated franchise. Pull up animated franchises that you could reboot. Which one would you reboot? Well, a lot of people, I'm going to probably get hateful saying this, but they said the boondocks. I never watched the Boondocks. I never watched the Boondocks. I knew a couple guys that rode on it. Yeah, the Boondocks is one of the stuff.

Good, like, animated franchises, Universal, type in Universal. Universal's got the kind of the best ones and the old school ones. Click that. Make it bigger? I know none of those. Child's play, that's Chucky. Wow. Animation.

Chuckie is considered animation. I don't think so. It's Child's play. Woody Woodpecker would be a good one. I love to Hulk. Tell it. I don't know any of this. You don't know Ted?

Who? Ted. You mean the... Wait, the teddy bear? Yeah. Oh, yeah, of course. Let me ask you this. That's so funny.

Can you go to Lion King Toy Story? If you had to get rid of one, which one? Lion King. I said the same thing. I asked the world that. And I felt like Toy Story I learned a lot. Yeah. It was a group of friends, toys that stayed together.

and Andy was loyal to them. There's a million types of Lion King stories out there. Yeah. Like Bambi's the Lion King story. The Jungle Books are Lion King story? But who would you say is the main character on tour story? Woody or Buzz Light Year? It's Woody.

See, people will say Buzz Light Year. Who got paid more? I'll tell you. I guarantee you Tom Hanks got paid more than Tim Allen. Let's see. Who got paid more and Tom Allen? But they would say Buzz Light Year is the main character. No.

Because Buzz Light Year got his own movie. though. Woody don't. They got paid $50,000 each. See? Are you shing? They got paid $50,000 $50,000?

That's the crazy thing. Let me ask a question. I'm going to ask. See, look, I bet. Hi. Who is the main character and toy story? Buzz Light Year or Woody? Buzz Late Year. All right.

People are saying Buzz Lightyear. I said, see. That's a white chick. Yeah. Let's do. Who, type in who's, look who's right there. It's Woody. Yeah, but that's like.

Look who's up front. It's Woody. See, everybody. Buzz Light Year's smaller. Let's do Tristan. Tristan's black. Okay. Type in who's the main character and.

It's funny. This is where this conversation led into like nothing. But it's so dope. Hey, Tristan. Hey. Told you. He was on your podcast. Yeah, this, yeah, this, this trick, look.

What's that, brother? How are you doing? Who is the main character, Tour's Story or Buzz Light Year? What? Woody, oh, Woody and Toy Story, Woody or Buzz Light Year? Neither. They're both are. See, everybody got their own idea of what everybody's saying.

And why do you say that? Who's the lead character in Star Wars? Who's the lead character in Star Wars? Hans Solo or Luke? Skywalker. It's Luke Skywalker. It's Luke. On the good supporter, but it's Luke.

It is. Okay. It's Luke's story. It's Luke's story. You're right. I don't say bye no more. You don't say we buy? Yeah, it's rude. They tell somebody buy? Like, that's forever.

Like, I want you to live forever. I like that. They just hang up. I like that a lot. All right, real quick, before we wrap up. I gotta get you out of here. I need black phrases. Oh, no, I'm out here wrap up. I'm thinking like... No, no, I'm not saying bye. I'm not saying bye.

Oh. What, I mean, you taught me type shit. Mm-hmm. One year ago. Take me through there. Take, you're making these up. No, I'm... I'm trying to tell you, look, what you call it?

Watch this. He's going to finish it. I don't know. We're going to do this. Finish it, finish it. Take me through there. Take me through there All the way in it No, okay I'm sorry

That's a phrase that we got in it Like that's take me through there Take me through there Like take me through there It's like Like take me through there Like if you're telling me through like what you want to talk Like if you tell me through there

You got to go man I went on a date last night You go take me through there Take me through there You got saying like that though You got to say take me through there So it's like the story It's the story It's the story

Take me through there See y'all talk, look, it's a thing, it's a song Hey, let me let me try it with my daughter okay See if she knows it yet All right, let's see All right, you ready I'm gonna tell me if I use it right Mm-hmm

I was just call Hi, sorry to an answer God damn it She says sorry How was your daughter? My daughter, my oldest one is 12 Yeah, how's your youngest? You're youngest one

I got three kids and then I met the youngest A year ago So, I got different races of kids. I got the Mexican, the black one, and then I got the white and black one. Oh, nice. I'll go for Asian next. You're going for Asian?

Yeah. Yo, Sandra. Oh, no, I'm not just saying. Sandra, what would be a good black Asian name for someone? This? This is different. This is different. Yeah.

Yeah, this. Yeah, this, like D-I-S-S-S-S. Want you to meet this? Yeah, this. It's like, like this. Like, what do you mean this? But you have to say, you got to say the D loud, this. This.

Yeah. Sandra, what's a good, like, give me a good black Asian name. This is good. Like, yeah, Blasian name. Yeah. Have you read a Harry Potter book before? No, no, not at all. My brother, he said he can read one in the day.

I'm like, it's impossible. Ico. Ico. Isn't that, uh, in that, uh... Genea, Ico? Yeah. That's a good one. you don't having kids

you have one more I want to adopt though I want to adopt for real I'm gonna do I got a whole bit on foster kids oh you like bed

what no I'm gonna try tonight like you say bit like putting in a bit I gotta do two spots tonight can you tell me something

in life what is that thing I always seen in those movies when people used to like going for 50 50 like it was a crowd of people when they used to bit

on like how much something go for what was that sounds like slavery oh no No, it was like, no, it was like a movie. They had them in movies. Remembering white chicks?

When he was like, when he was like betting the scene, he was like, it was like going for 50. White Chicks said, can you go to. An auction? No, go to White Chicks. I love that you references, white chicks. Bidding, bidding, bidding, bidding, bidding, an auction. It's an auction. What does that mean?

What was that for? I never understood that. I'm bidding. And they had girls, like, it was always on TV show where you can bid girls and stuff. This is, this back in the day, you'd be able to take one of them out on a date. They do a bid. They still do it in some places, but you, sororities would say that this is not done anymore. But in like the 80s, it's a little bit of a trope in this.

But you could take the hottest girl out that you'd bid to take her on a date. So like someone would bid. And does she get the money? No, no, no, the money goes to charity. Oh, wow. So they do it, they do it with celebrities now, like, an evening with Burke, And I think I did one actually. I did one and I went to dinner with a family.

But they got to bid on whether or not they and so you raised like $10,000 and the idea is they want to meet you. They want to spend quality time with you. And then they bid. The money goes to charity. I've done it before. I've done it. I love auctions. I fucking love auction.

Yeah, that's what I said. I knew it. I knew you or no. And by the way, just to be clear, that is exactly how slavery went also. Wow. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. I've seen it like in a Deschapel skates and shit. I mean, it's fucking insane. Yeah.

But, yeah, those auctions, it's an old-school thing. They used to have kissing booths. Yeah, I never understood it. It ended up being on my mind every time I see it. No, no. Think about that, though. They had kissing booths. Yeah.

Think about that. I remember that growing up. And then where you go, and you go line up and everyone would kiss the chick. So they'd be a girl. And she'd kiss everyone. Yeah, I remember, like, these are all. I just remember seeing these in movies. Yeah.

Isn't that crazy? Kissing booth. And another thing before we go to, I went, do you know what Cheers came from? No. All right, so look, before I tell you, I want you to look it up. Cheers came from two liters.

They was on a boat, you know, back then. And they had beer in the glass, and Cheers came from, they wanted to trust each other, not to poison me. So my liquor getting yours and mine getting yours. That's where Cheers came from.

For real? Look it up. I can't read. It doesn't say that at all. I don't think she's on the wrong one. No, it says cheers. No, no, it's, trust me. Cheers, again, as a French word meaning face that evolved being joy.

No, cheers with beer, cheers. It's like, yeah, see, like, cheers, like, they take that. Yeah, yeah, beer origin. It still says the same thing. Wait, how about this? How about this? Clinking glasses. Clinking glasses, that's the right one.

Yeah, yep, that's what you meant. Yeah, yeah. The tapping of the glass. Yeah, and there's cheers. That's crazy. I love the little shit like that. Like, do you know those guys that are on Instagram where they're like in 1952? And then they tell this story.

And then they go, and that's how we got, let the cat out of the bag. Yeah, yeah. I love making those up. Yeah. Give me like, well, see if I see if, give me something and I'll tell you how it happened. Okay, okay. Oh, that, what is the saying out there? I know I got a good saying on there.

Oh, what did that If your friend jump off a bridge Would you drop off a bridge too? Why was that a big sin? That's so crazy It's because When they built the San Francisco Bridge The guy that built the bridge

He had a twin brother Take me through there I can't wait to use that I can't wait to use that The guy that built The San Francisco Bridge His name was Ricky Armand He had a brother named

Dickie Armand. They built, they each started on one side of the, on the, of the river, of the, the straight. So once started here, one started here, and they started building until they met in the middle. And when they got in the middle, Ricky said, whoever gets their first jumps off. Whoever gets their first jumps off. And it turns out, when they got to the middle, they met. They couldn't tell who got there first. So they both jumped off. And we lost both guys who built San Francisco Bridge. And that's how we got the phrase, if your friend jumps off a bridge, would you jump too? Because then it ruins everything

and now no one builds bridges anymore. Right, and we needed them too. Yeah. Right. And you just made that up? Yeah. You know how to lie so good to be in a relationship. That's scary.

I'm not going to lying like that. You be ready. Watch this. Ask me where I'm going to ask, almost get Leanne up here. So one time, Leanne found a pair of jeans in my bag, a pair of women's jeans in my bag. And she goes, who's are these?

And I was like, I don't know. No, I wasn't lying. But I get so uncomfortable that I start, laughing and it looks like I'm lying. Right. And I started going, I don't know. Right. Or it could be you don't know because you don't know which chick it was. I don't know. I really honestly

didn't know how they got in there. And I was like, I don't know. And then she started going to stop laughing. I go, no, I really don't know. Yeah. So when I, and I am so bad that I start giggling and laughing. And then it turns out they were her friend Julie's jeans. Do you remember that story? Her friend Julie, they didn't put them on, wore them. And then her friend Julie goes, whose jeans are those are my jeans? Then he goes, he's the ones in Birch bag. And Julie, the whole time was like, fuck him, he's a liar.

He's a liar. Divorce him. Take his money. And I was like, so did she set you up? She's here? No, she was a friend of ours. Is she so around? Yeah, I think so.

She lives in Missouri. Oh, yeah, I'm from Kansas City. You got to watch out for people out there. She's from, like, old school Missouri, too. Yeah, me too. Really? Yeah. I thought you're from Kansas City.

Yeah, Kansas City. Yeah. Are you from outside Kansas City? Like, yeah. So you got Kansas City, then you got Kansas. Wait, are you from Kansas? No, Kansas City. Because that's the...

Don't get that fucking. I learned that when I was 13 years old. Yeah, don't fuck it. You never fucked that up. Yeah. Why is it different? I don't know. I just found out that Louisiana and Baton Rouge are two different things.

Don't fuck that up. I thought that was. I'm performing in Baton Rouge. Is that bad? Just don't say, was that Louisiana? Like, make some noise, Louisiana and say Baton Rouge. For real? Yeah.

Why? Because it's just, it's a respect thing, and it's like, this is where we come from. This is from... Yeah, you need game on the show. I got... Dude, I'm obsessed with him. I did a deep dive on... I mean, I don't know if this is real,

but they said there was this... So, one thing... Is that the internet thing? We can't do it on a podcast. It's talking about what you heard. And did you hear the first senses that you said? You listen to what. what the fuck you was about to say.

Anybody could be next. Just stop. Me or you. I couldn't hold that one back. Yeah. So your favorite cereal is what? I never understood Captain Crunch. And why?

Tricks are for kids? It's like, why they never let him eat the cereal? I never, like, a lot of serial characters was very weird when you look back at it. Like, silly rabbit, tricks and for kids. He's like, is it his cereal brand or what? You guys got to... And then, like, Fawson Flakes.

Like, Fawson Flakes was weird. They have no more cereal... Look on your face, you go... Look what you just said. I'm not a street guy, but I know the street rules. I'm sharing... I'm not a street guy, but I know the street rules. Have you hung out with Chappelle?

I never got to. seal me, like, you're like, this guy. And he just said that. And it's like, what? Tell me more. And he goes on about his day. But I think he does that to everybody. He's know how to like make you feel good. He does, man. Yeah, he knows. He really does. Cat does too, I think.

Yeah. I think they're both like those guys. I think Cat will probably be nationalized. If he didn't get nothing to say, he's not going. He's like, okay. Like, I ain't got nothing to say. I ain't going to say. But Dave will go out as wave. Oh, like, oh, like he could. But oh, yeah, you remember, you see my video. Like, yeah, you see my video. Like, yeah, I said, I love it. Keep going.

Like they didn't go about day Never seen your shit But that's like You know This is the goodness What about Kevin? Kevin Hart Is somebody

that got a big lingo And he knows out of talking He will lose you in the conversation Kevin Hart got so many words But let me tell you something And he got so many different versions to him And it is so Like he's so intelligent

I see why he is Where he at And then it's like What's they called If he could be animal The Armadilla Where he can just Blaine Dan, what is that?

It's a chameleon. Yeah, same day. No, not at all. Yeah, it is. Same, same, you're right. Yeah, armadillos. Armadillos and chameleons are like, they're like, alligators and crocodiles.

Same, same. So, wait, can you explain, can you explain? I don't mean this shitty, but like the I Show Speed and the Kaysanat, do they stream? Do they, are they streaming all the time? I'll tell you the backstory. Kassanet is somebody that started streaming from New York. And when he blew up a rat, you could do rap, Kossinette Rat. He was in New York, and a rat ran across his room, and that blew him up.

And he kept one, and he kept, he felt embarrassed because he was in New York, and he wanted to stream. Look, you see it. And that was him, that was his room, you see how? Oh, my God. And when that blew up, everybody in the chat was like, oh, my God. And he felt embarrassed. Oh, my God, oh, my God. And that moment made him, like, from what I know, it made him feel bad, but he kept going.

Because he was like, I wanted to stream, but the environment I am, it was bad. I didn't want to, like, and his family was loud. He said his brother and sister, so he kept going. And that moment him going through that pain made everybody walking. just glow up. So that moment kept going. Iso Speed is somebody that was streaming that was blowing up shit in his house. Blown up shit, like

fireworks, everything. It's blowing shit up. So I Show Speed is really fast, right? Yeah. And he, and it all started gaming, right? No. Oh, really? They do it. Like, do Eyesospeed biggest moment. I think he put his

it just like kept Uh Uh oh Uh oh but He just go in that room I just like a tent behind there And he just Oh you could just put house on fire

But I think his house got on fire When he did the fireworks Really? Like Yeah he just put it on fire like Yeah He just did shit like this in his room And he also is very fast, right?

Yeah Imagine hearing your kid in there doing that And then walking in and seeing this Yeah, he... Oh shit Oh shit! Can you imagine watching this live? Yeah. Nets with that. Look at the comments. You see the comments?

Holy shit. Oh, that had to catch this room on fire. Yeah, it did. Where did it go? Where did it go? Mom. Those are all fireworks. Yeah, he's going to do it. Light them all up. He lit like where stuff started getting on fire. Yeah.

And that was like moments. So he was just. Oh, that's the fucking fire department? Yes. So hold on, hold on. Can I ask the dumbest question? Uh-huh. Like if I, if me and you had done this live, streamed it.

Yeah. And then I had planned to like bring in a cobra. Uh-huh. Then that would go viral? It's not necessary like, because certain people. But if I brought in a bunch of poisonous snakes. Yeah. When stuff like that, you can see the organics where I just want to do what I want to do.

And then you can see people that want to force it. It's like you. You took your shirt up because they feel good at you. You know what I mean? They're probably trying to do what you do. And it's like, I see him make it. But you just, you was just, that's what we call the original. So I feel like the real understand, and it's the energy in the air, the original.

Oh, the original. Okay. It just felt original. That is, that felt like I got excited watching that. He just wanted to see it. Yeah. All right. So this is him running and Tom Brady can't believe all.

So he really is fast, right? Yeah. Uh-huh. Wow. And so now, do they walk around? Because I forget who. He's on tour. But do they walk around with, like, backpack and the camera and batteries and it streams live wherever they are?

Cossinette did a 30-day straight live and invited guests over. But you could see him does it. It was 30 days. And he did it three times already. He does it, like in October, I believe, or last month. Wow. It was the marathon. Because they do the sleepovers at Kevin Hart's house.

Yeah. But overall, it's just respect to them because they created something and it's letting kids know that you can do this behind the screen. Remember back then they used to be wrong to be a geek on a computer. Remember when I grew up, it was like knowing computer stuff, you were just like a geek glasses. So I love what they're doing because it gets people to like, if you don't want to get a 9-5, you can be entertained behind a computer screen.

Wow, that's really crazy. And it's opening the door for people to, you know, not be on the streets and, you know, trying to get a job. and you can actually get by so consonant and speed has made the younger generation get more into less through the internet. And they're not getting fucking wasted and smoking weed.

They're just going out and doing. Like I watch, it's so funny how they showed up and, like, I say this about Nikki Minaj. I remember when Nicky, or no, Cardi B. When Cardi B came out. Like, look up the longest girl streaming. She's still streaming right now. I think she's been streaming for like three years.

What? Longest stream ever. I think it's still going on Twitch or something. She's still streaming right now. I think you can click on it. You can look it up, Twitch. So she sleeps and stuff, right? Yeah, yeah.

She just, like, her live. And you watch her sleep? Yeah. Yeah, they will. Yeah. Right here, I think she's still live right now. Yeah, she's still live right now. I don't know what she's here right now.

Holy shit. How long they say she'd been on stream? It's like four years. So I don't know where it says. She probably stepped out, probably took a shower. But yeah, she's been streaming. So then is that something like... And that's the comments over there.

How many people watching her right now? You can scoot over. How many? The red. The red body's right there. The number I can't see it. Yeah, so 189 people are. So it's different than Instagram Live.

Yeah, yeah, it's different. And so, and it's on Twitch? Yeah. So then you get a Twitch account. And then I saw the dude who just came over and was like, this is, who? Oh, yeah. Nate Jackson came over and he had a backpack and a fucking thing. And then I saw someone doing it.

And it was crazy. They had a camera and a phone. here and they're falling the guy around. Yeah, he was like... He's streaming, watching it live. He started streaming. Nate got so much fucking money. Does he? Yes. Really?

He used to be gifting people like $5,000 on there. Because you can give people. Like, constantly, he's just gift. He just, like, he's Santa Claus. So, Kaisanaat, you go on and you might get... People paying him, yeah. Like... But it's entertainment. A brand is paying him.

No, no, no. Kids are giving him money. Subing up. It subs. But it's entertainment for you to show us your life. Just imagine. Imagine if we could just watch your life all day. It would be boring as fuck. It's no different from Netflix. You know what I'm saying?

How we pay that monthly and we get to watch. So the fact that you're entertaining. So if I was like, so if I was like, yo, I'm going, okay. So theoretically I was like, I'm going to go streaming. Who's that part? Who's the first person? Look at that 57. He got 57,000 people watching him.

I don't know who that is. But he's live right now. He's just watching. He's watching plans. soccer. You got 57,000 people watching them. You know how many people there is for a show? How long have he been live? Four hours? So can I ask me? He didn't probably made like $10,000. Can I ask a really like remedial boomer question, but like, why would someone, like, are they why? Is he funny?

It ain't all about that. Just imagine, it's no different from YouTube when you put your interviews out, but they get to see, imagine your interviews are funny. I'm saying you, it ain't, everybody got their own definition of what they like. Because I ain't like If I could see Day Chappelle live I'll watch his stream Because I'm like What the fuck

He does outside of this Yeah, I probably would Just imagine your favorite place If Chappelle would stream live Out of his barn Yes You were watching And you would watch

And you would watch Erica Badoo go up And play music Yes Oh yeah Chappelle would never do that Because it would It would ruin

It would ruin his The thing that makes him Dave Yeah Some people feel like that too Yeah God dang Just imagine if fans could watch Beyonce live for a week.

Tell us with. Just imagine if you got a peek into Beyonce's life where she was, she'd wake up and they're like, listen, we have a, we need to look at jewelry today for the fucking gold globes. She's pulling in like a million people just watching. That's all like, you know, and that's why you got to appreciate everybody that's doing something. You know what I'm saying?

Because right now my buddies in Saudi Arabia, Arabia performing for a bunch of princes. And the guys that started 9-11. and how cool and he was with a lion the other day they drugged the lion as Peter would be through the roof about it but

was a friend of mine I won't mention his name I don't want to get him in trouble but he but if he was streaming live hanging out with those friends oh fuck yeah and then so

and then Kaisenot and I show Peter so big that people go I want to be on his live stream so like yo can you come Yeah moment yeah it's called I got a thing called

clipforming and clipforming is where like right now I would say some crazy shit and I know somebody from this interview is going to take that moment and make it look bigger than that I was like I'm like what's your problem with me you got an attitude

yeah and then they're like they're going to take that moment like Marco crashes out on you and they're going to see on TikTok and they're not going to watch so full interview they're like oh yeah I always thought he was weird why would so they just going to start comment instead of watching the full interview

oh that's so people do stuff when they walk up on speed and they'd be like man like come on man you want to fuck my sister or what Because she's been DM in you, and they're going to clip that moment. Stranger walks up on speed and say, you want to fuck his sister. And that moment is clipped. Whoa.

It's like clip for him. So you got to just trust the guy you're watching. Look at where is he there in Spain? I don't know. He's everywhere. Like, speed is really. Have you met, I showed speed? I met him, but I feel like it's one of the ones where he's got to respect.

Like, I understand how your life is. And I'm just thankful to say, hey. What about Kai? Yeah, I got to meet him. Yeah, I did Streaming University. You're a car's a good guy, yeah I feel like me, everybody's just good in their own way, so yeah.

But he's great. I love that he's sharing his power and a lot, like from you, Kevin Hart, when you can share your platform and be able to create, like even with the YouTube. Who's the white streamers? Aiden Ross.

Aiden Ross. Oh, Aiden Ross was on Breakfast Club. Yeah, yeah. No, no, that was the other guy on Breakfast Club. I forgot his name. They were shitting on Aiden Ross and he backed up Aiden Ross. Yeah, yeah.

No, Aidan Ross was talking. It was another guy on there that they... God damn it. I forgot his name. I've seen him on a bunch of clubs. You could do Breakfast Club, Aidan Ross Breakfast Club. Yeah, him right there with the glasses. Him.

Yeah, that guy. I know that guy. Yeah. It was like an incident that happened on there. Neon, neon. I knew it. I knew it as soon as you said it. Yeah.

And so Neon's a streamer. Neon started off. I remember Neon. You see, with the green screen, I remember that neon. Whoa. And he's just been going and going. and look how big he is now. It's like you never know

when your moment is. It's like it's no different from basketball. You just got to keep going and putting it in the work. Your life could change. That's so crazy. I'm like, I'm like,

I wonder could my wife become a streamer? How old is she? 54. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Like we streamed her. You saw her life

and she went and got like a full body cat scan and all the fun things that menopause women do. Yeah. Like she woke up early and talked to the animals. Yeah.

You know, everybody got a fan base. So the people watching. So wait, how old are the people watching? By the way, I love that I'm interviewing if I was dreaming going like, wait, how old are the people watching? Oh, you just never know because so many people are you bringing so many people to this new app? That's like you. Like you can bring your older crowd of people. Like, you know, from 78, they'd be like, that was kind of rude.

My dad, no, my, my, my, my, my demo, I looked at my crowd the other day and I was, I actually wondered, I don't think they used the internet. Yeah. Like, I don't think they're on TikTok. I really don't think they're on TikTok. I think they use Facebook a lot more than Instagram. And I think they don't care about Twitter, X. I think X is dead. So I started looking at my fan base and I was like,

and then I was talking to someone, I was at the airport. And I'm talking to this guy about some shit going on in comedy. And he was like, and it was like the hottest shit. It was like, it was all over, it's all over Instagram. It's all over Twitter. X or whatever. And I was like, yeah, you see that?

And he goes, no, I don't fucking look at that shit, man. Yeah. He's like, I'm a fucking, I put roofs on. Yeah. He's like, you know, I don't have time to be on my phone looking at shit. And if I do, I'm looking at like boats. I want a boat. Yeah.

And you're like, wow, that's crazy. The thing the business we're in is so about us and personalities and stuff. The average person, the average person doesn't give a fuck. They don't want to tap out and watch. I show speed to a backflip off a high dive. You get to see it live. And I think about seeing something live, you don't get to see the edits. you just get to see it live.

Like, just imagine, like, you know, in streams, it's starting to affect some brands. And, like, that's why Netflix, they stream more. Like, when something do it, it's big. Like, oh, let's stream it because you're going to pull it in instantly. Oh, like the Tom Brady rose. Yeah, like, yeah, you get to see it live. Oh, shit.

It makes it feel like I'm there. I'm seeing this shit live. Oh, okay, that's the business model. Yeah, so it's like, just imagine if you get to see this live right now. Yeah, like, it's the same as like a sports game. And that's, like, the same setup they got, them, the cameras that they got. they got it live and they go live. And not only that, they're doing it live and they still dropping it on YouTube and still

getting a million views because some people didn't catch it live. So you're getting that. So if I ain't started streaming, you need to say what up. And when they come here and catch the moment. And then what's good about streaming is that they're clipping it right then and there and put it on the internet. Wow. Because people are getting paid from clip pages.

And how do they get paid? How do they get paid as streamers? Walk me through that. So we're getting... Okay, so, like you, Constanette streams. And when he streams, you can give like $10, $8, $50, $500.

So, Consonette, shot to everybody. Like, oh, shout out to, you know, Blake for the 50 gifted. And he just getting him to say your name, like, fuck, yeah, I'm going to send him another 50. So it's like the recognition. Like, imagine Dave Chappelle saying your name on a stream full of all those people.

So people... Oh, man. shout out to Burt, man. His fucking special is awesome. Oh, I'm going to do that to Kaisenat. Yeah. So I can do that and be like, yo, Yo, Kai, it's Burt Kreiser.

Here's $150. Yeah. Mentioned my special. And then, like, and then fans are like, who is he? Like, who is he? And then you got a fan-based center. That was Burry, right?

Yeah. I don't know if their fan-based fan-based. No, no, yeah. Be like, who's this fucking boomer in here. No, no, no. No, no. No, that definitely not. I mean, if anybody, I will say so.

Just one. It'll be one person. And he's a fucking legend. He's killing it. So, you know. You didn't even notice that I said walk me through that. Oh, yeah. Take me through there.

Oh, fuck, I said it wrong. Yeah. See? Take me through there. You know. All right, take me through there. Anything else real quick? No, I just want people to realize that your time is never over.

And it's just, it just take one person to be a good person. So I just want people to realize that to receive good. you got to do good and appreciate bad days to appreciate good ones. What was the other thing you said is don't let anyone be in control of like your give a fucks

your mindset, your power because it shows sign of weakness that somebody can come and like put you in a mood nobody can put me in a mood but my kids and I had them

so if it ain't nobody you create it it's all I don't have to live in this moment forever. Pull up his tour days real quick are you on tour right now? Yeah so I got that I got my show launching relaunching.

Do you do seasons of your podcast? I think it's that link right there. I need to get, is it that one? I got some new ones coming. Oh, no, that was, okay, let's get off that one. All right, just look on my Instagram page.

Funnymarko.net. Yeah, so I think I got a show in Texas coming up. Yeah, see, look, it's all over. I got to get that together, right? When you search it, that's why I get together. It's okay, y'all. You ain't got to look it up because it's all over. At minute, she's going to end up pulling up.

Go with your Instagram. Funny Marco. Okay, go find him on Funny Marco. I'm so glad I met you. You know, like a year ago, I'm so glad I met you. And I always say I'm not comfortable with, like, in the interviews like you or Caleb, or like, I'm always uncomfortable. And I had so much fun doing it. And I think about you so much because my daughter's day type shit so much.

And then when this got set up, I was so fucking excited, man. So there you go. Is that you? Yeah, that's me. I was James Brown for a little bit. Yeah. Tacoma Comedy Club. Yeah, so I'm almost done.

I think I'm at St. like right there. I don't even know how to say to other state. West Nyack? Yeah, I don't know. West Nyack. Is it Brookfield? That one that's next.

San Jose Improv, I'm assuming. That's the one I came to. Where's Brookfield Improv? Yeah, I think that's Dallas. Is that Dallas? Oh, they move it? Yeah, I'm not sure. Syracuse, Funnybone.

That's a great mall. Bring your kids. I get anxiety with knowing dates and all that. I just show up, like knowing dates and where I'm going. It's a lot. Oh, Milwaukee? Yeah, Milwaukee. Oh, fuck, yeah.

You're going to, have you been to Milwaukee before? Yeah, I have. Yeah, I have. That's a great, that's a great club. Yeah. It's new. It's newer. I just did Milwaukee the other day.

Oh, it's nowhere? I didn't do that nowhere right there. It's newer for me. Yeah. Oh, okay, okay. I'm an old man. Yeah. Hey, I'm not going to say bye.

Look at my meet and greets. Click on a girl. Look at how many people we can. Look at, let me show. Look at the girls. Look at the girls. Holy shit. Do you just have girls coming to your show? Yeah, I got a lot of girls.

Oh my God. There's your Asian one. Yeah. Well, you have a lot of fucking women coming to your show. Yeah. Yeah, a lot. Show my meeting greet. A lot of shirtless dudes.

We wore them now. Hey, thank you. Thank you, too. I'm not saying goodbye. Oh, yeah, don't. Just end it. I don't see in you a lot in life. Yeah.

It's just in it. Guys, cameras just going to cut off. It's a new thing. We just don't say bye. Yeah. Bert and Tom, Tom and Bert. One goes to top us while the other wears a shirt.

Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call. Two bears one cave. Thank you.