2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer - WILD Conspiracy Theories! w/ Yannis Pappas | 2 Bears, 1 Cave - Ep. 162

Episode Date: December 5, 2022

This week, Tom Segura is joined by Yannis Pappas in Bert Kreischer’s place. They discuss how Yannis got talked into softening his water, how Tom feels about meeting fans, Chris Rocks current material, chartering jets vs. flying coach, weird ways people get aroused, the SNL writer who threatened to boycott the show over Dave Chappelle hosting, annoying politically correct terms, Kanye West, the Ukraine situation, the wildest conspiracy theories, Donald Trump, Herschel Walker, and more! https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://www.bertbertbert.com/tourhttps://store.ymhstudios.com/

I don't know why the panic of others gives me comfort. You know, we're seeing someone scared, makes me happy, like, super nervous. So the same thing that comes, Jeffrey Dahmer, comes you. Yeah. Yeah, that's 100%. Good news. Burt's not here.

He's still alive, though. Where is alive? It's a bummer. He is alive. To bummer. But so great to welcome. Janis Powell is back to the show. Thank you for coming. Thank you very much. Yeah.

I didn't tell you this, but I'll tell you now, I fucking regularly, like, I'm just, because I, like a lot of people, I waste my life many times scrolling Instagram. And your clips from your shit, I watch almost every single one. It's so exciting. You're so good at your show.

And there's people, because there's comedians that I feel like, you know, now having a podcast, like having a website, you're like, you have to, you know, what are you doing? But then there's people, you're like, oh no, no, you shouldn't have one.

Like, the skill set doesn't translate for everybody. Like there's awful podcasters. Some of them are very successful at stand-up and you're like, you watch some podcasters and you're like, wow, your dog shit as a podcaster. And then there's great podcasters and you watch them on stage. But like, you translate. Like you're able, you're one of the few guys. So I think the hardest thing is to fucking sit

at a mic by yourself and you can just talk. I tried that one and I was like, never do this again. It's not for everyone. No, it takes a second. Yeah, I'm sure I've had some episodes that are just dog shit, but the more you do, the better you get. And yeah, we're totally at peak podcasts. I had my, I got scammed into cleaning my water.

I don't even know what that's. Cleaning your water. Yeah. Like I live my whole life in New York City in Brooklyn and now I live in the country and these all these new things I'm learning about and some guy comes by and he's like, your water is hard. Oh yeah, you need to soften it.

You got to soften, yes, soft water. And me being like from New York, I was like, what do you mean? I got it soft in my water. I thought water, I kind of get softer than water. Like if someone splashes water on you, like that's the soft water. Have you felt soft water?

So I have soft water at my house and it makes you feel like there's like a guy's coming. Like there's just, it's just 20 guys jizzing on you. It's all luby and you're like, you feel like you're still wet and you're like, and that's considered so I didn't know what that was. So you didn't know either. I got in and actually, I think it was Bert came,

he stayed over and he was like, oh, you got a soft water. I thought you meant pressure. I was like, we can dial it up. I thought he was like, I took it personally. Yeah. And he was like, no, no, you have soft water and he was right. Like, you feel like there's still soap on you. That. And he was like, no, no, you have soft water. And he was right. Like, you feel like there's, you know, you feel like

there's still soap on you. That's what it feels like. You're like, oh, there's still, that's soft water on you. I just kept washing and washing and washing and washing. And while trying to get it off and then rinsing and rinsing and rinsing and rinsing and rinsing and rinsing. So hard, hard water just feels like, hard water feels like it's cleaning you better.

Yeah. Like I feel like I'm getting out of the shower. So now you get soft water, you're like, I want the hard water. Yeah, I want the hard water back back dude. I want that gangster water back I don't want this like Poly by water. Yeah, I don't want this prep school water I want the real what this real hard core public school, you know, yeah, nobody's getting busted into that school water Yeah, yeah, I want get a water sure and

Yeah, but anyway the want get a water sure and Yeah, but anyway the guy cup so I guess there's no way they're going to the projects me like you guys water's hard You guys want to soften the water. Yeah, they're not doing it. Yeah, cuz I'm like fuck you talking white on my water Now we want hard water man. You don't know who my water, my water comes from. My house. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I guess it is, so it's a real thing is what you're telling me. Yeah. Okay. So how did they know that you had hard water?

Because, like, did you shower when I wasn't here? How do you fucking know? Right, I was like, how do you know? He was like, he tested, he pulled, he came out with like a testing, and it was like purple, as if I know what that means. He's like, oh, your water's got too much titanium or whatever it is in there, sulfur,

I don't know what element. I thought water was just H2O, I didn't know there was other things in there. But he's like, yeah, well water, there's other stuff in there. So you need that. I was skeptical, told him no a bunch. Then finally said, yeah,

because he said there was a risk of pinhole leaks. Oh, pinhole leaks in the pipes. Okay. So he did it, and then he comes back to check, just talking about peak podcasts and how many podcasts there are and some people not being good at it. And then he goes, he comes and he checks it, he shows me how to change it, which I didn't pay attention to. I was just like, I'll just call you when I need to fix that.

And then he goes, do you mind if I, you mind if I do a little content, I was just like, I'll just call you when I need to fix it. And then he goes, you mind if I, you mind if I do a little content? And I was like, excuse me. And he goes, yeah, my boss is 65, he doesn't get it. And he's like, I got a water podcast. And I was like, what? And he was like, you mind if I just get interview a little, I'll cut it into the podcast

if I just interview you real quick. And you just talk about what it looks like, what you learned. And I was like, you mind if I just get interview a little, I'll cut it into the podcast. If I just interview you real quick, and you just talk about like what it looks like, what you learned. And I was like, first of all, I wasn't paying attention to one word you said when you were teaching me what to do it. Second of all, I'm not gonna be on your podcast now. No.

No, no, I'll get to work out. You're on this podcast now. Thank you. You're just good. And then he did a story, and then he did an interview with me like it was crazy. He's going, here we go, another saddest by customer.

You're on the way. He's going right there. You see the bypass valves going and then he's turning to me and I'm like trying to get out of frame. I mean, I don't want to be on, you know, Mick Volik and company water company podcast. The Waterflow podcast. Yeah, that's so funny.

You know, I think I've established? I have established this, I guess I didn't realize it, almost public persona, where people who want to talk to me, look at me, and then they're like, I guess not. Like I look at people like, don't you fucking dare. And they usually start talking to me. I look at people like, don't you fucking dare. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like it's just, if I can be completely honest, maybe it's just a huge insecurity, where I feel like this is not gonna be what you want it to be.

So I just shut it down before it happens. Right, you know? Right, right. So you're basically telling them, like I'm not gregarious in this situation. Yeah, whenever you think this is gonna be, it's not gonna be. Yeah, so let's not start.

Yeah. What do you usually do like when someone approaches Yamafan, Yeah, whatever you think this is gonna be is not yeah, so let's not start. Yeah What do you usually do like when someone approaches you? I'm a fan you just fake it you go. Thanks man. No, I always am nice I haven't always nice I and people go and and I get asked Can you pick or they go I they start they go. I know you don't want to do this Right. Do you I go of course you take a picture? I guess what I hate is chit chat You know I hate chit chat. I hate like course, take a picture. I guess what I hate is Chit Chat. You know, I hate Chit Chat. I hate like, hey, so, do you like it here? I'm like, at the hotel?

Yeah, it's nice and they're like, yeah, they have a place on the roof. I'm like, yeah, no, I'm staying here, I saw it. Yeah, my cousins saw your show in Spokane and I'm like, cool, and they're like, yeah, like that shit. Where I'm like, yeah, I just rather get to, you know, I just have it like it quick. Yeah.

And I'm, but I always look, I've signed anything you want to ask me to sign. I've never said no to a photograph. I've never said no to like saying hello. I'm not like, get the fuck out of here. I just genuinely get uncomfortable at awkward, small chat. The small chat just seems like it's, yeah, I'm just like, uh, yeah, yeah, I don't know.

It's weird, it's like, hey man, I'm a fan and that's good, here's a pic and then, I think I also see, like we're not gonna hang out. No, yeah, we're not like, what are you doing? What are you doing after? And then I'll go like, come on. Come on. Come on.

But like I see someone, like, you know, because I'm so close to Bert, I see his like, he's like a guy that's running for fucking mayor, you know? So he walks in and he's like, Hey guys, like to a room and I'm like, oh my god, you know, and he just like takes it He embraces it and I'm just more like you know, yeah, that makes sense with your two personalities Yeah, I mean when we go out together. I'm always the whole time I'm like this

Cuz he like he walks into restaurants. Hey, I sit over a double T-dose like you'll do that like across a restaurant around like Yeah, yeah, you know, like he crowdsurfs, he just crowdsurfs even when he's not crowdsurfs. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just like a dude, big hey, hey, hey, but I love you. He just will try to get on the guy. You don't. Okay, there's no. I've always said I love attention when I'm on stage, right? And I can have none when I'm off stage

and be perfectly content. Right. Perfectly content. I feel the same way I'm very awkward off stage. Yeah. Like when someone comes up to me, I sway a lot. I start swaying.

Yeah. People sometimes interpret that as like, oh, you're mean or you're a tear. No, it's just you're just uncomfortable. Right. I'm not like, I'm not actually addicted people in those situations. I'm just literally am like, I don't know what to do.

I'd really like this to wrap up so I could keep walking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's kind of two types of comedians, right? There's like that extreme extrovert. Yeah. And then the strangely kind of shy in private, but then you're all in extrovert with a microphone. Yeah. You're introverted in every other situation.

So you're like that too. I'm very much like that. My first time on stage, I had a massive panic attack. I've had to work through social anxiety to get to perform. So first off, I got on stage. I remember my arms just went numb and I just kept repeating thank you because I forgot my act. I was so nervous. I just go and thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Like this guy's on the spec.

And then when I heard that first laugh from the amount of thank yous for some reason that made them laugh, it just relaxed me. That's always been. And I did my shitty five minutes. Yeah. The laugh, because I also couldn't, people think that comedians, I can all do public speaking well. And you're like, if there's laughter involved. Yeah.

Serious public speaking is terrible. I mean, I got asked to speak at a wedding. Yeah. Not at the, I'm talking about during the ceremony, to read from the, dude, I had to lump in my throat, I was, heart was racing. I had to like, say a line from the Bible, look up and look at, give the audience a look,

and they laughed. Yeah. And then I was able to read the rest of the passage. Right. I couldn't do it. You couldn't do it without a beat of comedy. I had to just to be able to breathe. Right. I felt like I was on the verge of being like, I'm sorry. I can't do it. You couldn't do it without a beat of comedy. I had to just to be able to breathe. Right. I felt like I was on the verge of being like, I'm sorry. I can't do this. That's

Yeah, I gave speeches at funerals and I just cried the whole time. Yeah, I couldn't get through it. I was just like, I was like, you know, a kid. I couldn't get through it. Yeah. I spoke at my father's comedy. Don't wait. Well, that was a thousand percent. I spoke at my father's memorial service. And shit on my mother. And that was what made me get through. Get through. I said, dude, that my father's memorial, and my cousin had just spoken, he was crying about my dad, and I was like,

look, for sure my dad is in heaven right now. I think anyone that spends 15 minutes with my mother let alone 45 years to service to go to heaven. And everyone's starting to lie. My mom was like, like, flicking me off. But it made people laugh. And then I was able to speak without like having a nervous breakdown, you know?

I actually was like pretty emotionally disconnected because I didn't want to break down. breakdown. I actually was pretty emotionally disconnected because I didn't want to break down in front of everybody. But like, shitting on her and getting a laugh, made it possible. Yeah. She was probably not happy about it, but you were like,

hey listen, I had to get through this. She was like, later on, I was like, hey about that. She was like, I have no recollection of anything that happened at that. Wow. She didn't remember any of it. Like, not just me, any of it, the whole memorial service. Because she was like, more in another space.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, oh, she goes, what did you say? I was like, I'll forget it. It wasn't that bad. You find as like comedians, we're just constantly having to apologize to family members, friends, people.

Yeah. And then we're just members, friends, people. And then we're just like, I'm sorry. If you're telling a joke about a family member, you'll try your best. You'll be like, I had, there's this person I know who's also calls my parents, parents. You tried to disguise it. Yeah, I mean, there's so many apologies. And I think now too, though, they just kind of can like, yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah, there's so many apologies.

And like, I think now too, though, they just kind of go like, you know, after years, they're like, oh yeah, you're doing this. This isn't like when you first start, and you're like, is this, you know, what the fuck are you doing? Like now they're like, oh no, you literally, dude, my mother called me and she goes,

she goes, you know, who knows how long I will live, but I'm sure you'll be happy when I die because you can talk about it. And I was like, what? And I go, what? And she goes, you can do your thing. You can say, oh, I couldn't help. This was her own original. I couldn't help undress my mom to like, to dress her for the funeral.

I couldn't help undress her because her death us were so big they were in her stomach and I couldn't pull this shirt off. I was like, the fuck are you talking about? But I'm laughing as she's saying that she's like, oh, and I start laughing and you go, seeing that you can tell your, your father, oh, my mom is dead.

You're like, finally you get it. You get what I do. Yeah, I go, actually, I will have a new five when you die. Yeah, you get what I do. I don't know what I do, you get what I do. I totally prioritize my whole life as material, no matter what's happening. Yeah.

And I use everybody for material. Yeah, yeah. Told my wife I was like part of the reason, you know, when I married her, I was like, is she a good material source? Sure. That's a big part of it. A totally is.

And there's also even, you know, I'm married to a comedian. And there was even a part early on where like I shit on her and she saw it at a show and she was super offended by it. Really? And I was like, what? And she was like, is that how you feel? And I was like, I was just, you were like, yeah? I mean, I was like making a joke up there, you know?

Yeah, and she was like, yeah, but is that really how you feel? I was like, well, no, it's an exaggeration. It's just like we exaggerate all these other things on stage. Right. But it took like a while, and then now it's like, we both say terrible things.

Right. About each other, but it's, you know, all these years into it. But, you know, there is like, well, that's when the feelings are like not as secure. Right, right, right, yeah. It's like, was that true? Was it not? Now, you guys, you're locked in.

Yeah, and then now you're just like, you can be honest, it's like, please die. And she's like, that was a good way. Yeah. died. And she's like, that's a good way. It's such a way to get through everything comedy. It really is just a way to deal with everything from like the most deep is philosophical query to just like the most mundane, yeah, you know, giving a speech at a funeral. And really, it just gets you through. And then you see, you see like how, how it really, I mean, it sounds super lame,

but how it really actually helps people who, like, we're used to, like, we are comedians, but we're around comedians. And you see how like, cathartic it is to like, sit with a somebody and they make any comment, whether it's on their personal life or culture or the world, and you go like, ah, like it just feels so good. And somebody who's not around that all the time

and then gets a dose of it from you or from one of your friends, you're like, oh, it really does diffuse and help get through the moment or the day. It does, yeah. My favorite, I think the sweetest messages I've ever received, like the ones where I go, are the one people are like, this helped me,

like whatever you said on a standup or like helped me get through this time, I used to be like, but now I feel like I kinda register it more. I'm like, oh yeah, they're not exposed to that. Right. No one around them is saying the shit that you say. Yeah.

I've gotten messages too like that about, oh my family's sick or whatever, and your comedy helped me. And you totally, you get to touch them. You're like, you know, I've gotten messages to like that about my family sick or whatever and your comedy help me And you totally you get the tattoo of you like oh really? Yeah me talking about you know Ass or whatever yeah helped okay, yeah sure man. Yeah, it does it really does It does and you can tell when you're I Ever see an audience walk in and then walk out of a show? Yes, they like walk in and they're like, their body language is all like carrying

with their boss said. Yeah, how somebody smelled on the subway. It's like all on their disposition. Sure. And then they leave and they just look like, loose, they look loose. People used to have messaged me all the time. I mean, you still see them sometimes,

they used to go like, I got laid after your show. You know, I was like, what they used to go like, I got laid after your show. You always were like, what? And they're like, yeah, like, you just kind of like made everybody, you know, relax. Yeah. We laughed and then we went home and hooked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's cool, all right. Probably helps with the game too, like, you know, he's not a stiff, he's coming with a little bit more of a loose happy vibe, yeah, definitely. Yeah, I mean, you did the work for him, just be honest. You should get a little tug more of a loose happy vibe. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I mean, you did the work for him. Yeah. Just be honest. You should get a little tug too.

Yeah. That's not like the guys that fucking good. Yeah. Hook me up. Yeah. Speaking of game, I went and saw Chris Rock. I saw you post that. Yeah.

I just thought he was still on his game. I mean, I think it's his best set in 20 years. Wow. Yeah, wow. It was like the Everything that you fell in love with about him as a comedian. It was that. I mean he was he was just fucking Hitting home runs and it was everything it was like pop culture, politics, race, sex, personal stuff, you know, just boom, boom, boom, and you did a super long set and you realized this can be cut down

to say it's going to be fireworks, dude. He was really the guy that made comedy hot again, dude. Like it's really like people, you know, forget. I mean, back, it just seems like people forget about how important that bringing the pain was to sort of. I talk about it all the time because it's just, for I think it's our A, because you're, I think we're the same A, you're close. It's like, I was, I think a junior in high school.

So it's like, you think about a male forming his sensibilities and that comes out, it like never leaves you. You'll never forget. I mean, I've liked so many comedians since then, but like that is like always gonna be like the foundation. And dude, he, I mean, you know, I obviously can't repeat what I, I'll tell you off mic, but there were so many amazing bits.

Like he really crushed it, crushed it. That's what it was, was like his takes. You always remember his takes and his insights. And he has this, like, if everyone has their style, their formula, you know, and his is like statement, repeat the statement, and the repetition of the statement, so the premise is explicitly clear.

And then sometimes that statement is an unfavorable one. So everybody goes like, ugh. And then joke and then break down of the, so then it's like joke, joke, joke. So then he breaks down a complicated statement with logic, so it's always like an insightful smart thing and just so many jokes and he had, man, he had like at least 10 members.

He didn't hour 45. Wow, yeah. It was wild. I always eat, like as you get more successful, is it harder to do comedy? A thousand percent. A thousand percent it is. And I think you know, you watch careers,

like even like his, have like ebbs and flows and like he's always highly proficient. But this feels like really, like just really dialed in man. It was like, it was really good. I couldn't believe I was like, this is the same guy that did that special 25 years ago. It's fucking crazy.

That's inspiring. Yeah, it is. Back at it. And actually I think it's fucking crazy. That's inspiring. Yeah, it is. It's back at it. And actually, I think it's as inspiring when you're a comedian, because you go, oh, he's X number of years older, it means that you can continue to, you know, it's not like,

we're not athletes. Right. We're not models. That means you can get better into your fifties. Right. And then when you think about it, I think kind of like all the best comedians are over fifties. That's really when they hit even their best shit.

Is they're in their fifties, which is kind of crazy. And as long as you're fucking focused and not delusional and not swayed by your fame, to your point about like getting, I think if you get famous, you can easily lose sight of how to do the work. And we've seen that happen to people. But I think if you don't mean, you know,

you look at like Burr, he just fucking goes, works, works. I think he makes a conscious effort too to sort of like I think he flew, you know, he flew commercial for like till it got ridiculous. We're like, all right, come on, dude. And yeah, cause you have to remain the perennial underdog in some way.

In some way. Yeah, you can't be like, oh, my private plane was a little late today, guys. You know, that's like, right? No, a lot of times I'll talk about flights and I'll pretend I fly commercial. I'll be like, the pilots came back and they're like, the pilots come like, wow.

You try to make a joke from your memory of what it was like. You're like, I opened the door and set a load of the pilot and people are like, you can't open the door. You can't open the door. Wow, he's been flying private since 9-11. He's been flying private since 9-11. That is so nice. You know I made a, you know who I sat right next to at a rock show was Michael Dell. Who's a Dell computer?

Oh yeah. So one of the, I don't know, 20 richest guys on the planet. And he was having trouble finding his seat, right? And I see him. He's like looking and I go, Hey, and he turns and I go, do you need cash? And he goes, what? I go, do you need cash? And he was like, no. I was like, okay. I was just on the plane today. I got on and I was in coach. I was in the last wrong coach.

And I'm so sorry. As yeah, as I got on, as I got on, I saw this comedian very funny, Mateo Lane who I'm friends with. Oh yeah, Mateo, he's so funny. And he was just sitting right up there in the front row. And I'm like the last on the plane. I'm sweaty, you know? And it was just like right up there in the front row. And I'm like the last on the plane. I'm sweaty, you know?

And it was just like, I wanted to explain, like part of me. We, I saw it in his face going, oh, because his career is going amazing. Mine's not bad, but it's not like is. And I could see in his face kind of like, oh, this is uncomfortable. Yeah. Like we're just gonna say a quick hello

and then you go by and there was just, and I was tempted to like just start explaining it and rationalizing it. I was like, I just wanted to know. I got re-booked. I was gonna fly on the 7-a-amp. What had happened was, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

You know, I'm doing Tom's podcast. He scheduled it last minute. So I transferred off my private jet because it was the only way to get here in a certain time. I want to be clear about something. I flew at least half a dozen commercial flights this year. So don't think it's that fucking all the time. Right, right.

Yeah. One time I flew in that situation you're talking about, and I was in first, and Bobby Lee boarded, and he was like looking and looking, and I go, hey, where are you sitting as he boarded? And he was like, I don't want to talk about it. I'm talking about it. And he went back to a company.

And I asked the flight attendant to bring him a cup of water. So you see her go back and he said that guy. And he was like, thank you, thank you, thank you. I also, by the way, I have a video. We did a tour in Canada and we had a private jet, a charter flight. And sometimes on these flights, what will happen is because of the way that the company's book, these planes, the charter, the plane that you book, which is a nice jet, is unavailable

and they upgrade you at no cost. So in other words, they send you a better plane than you should have. And they did that on one of these. So they're like, you book this, and we're sending you this fucking crazy jet. So we tell the flight attend, so the jet is has a capacity of like 16 passengers

and it has like multiple cabins. It's wild. I tell the pilot and the flight attend, I go, can you go up to that small Asian man and tell him that there's a weight issue and that to balance things out, we need him removed from the plane. And they were like, okay.

And then I recorded him and you see the pilot being like, I'm sorry, but you have to leave. Did he do it well? Oh yeah, he did it actively. And Bobby's like, okay, okay. And he grabs his stuff. He goes, no, no, no, no. And then we all start laughing.

And he just goes, apologize. Apologize to me in front of everybody. And he turns to the pilot pilot, I was like, I'm sorry, he told me to say, I don't know, I'm sorry. I had eaten breakfast in the Delta lounge, like I was totally full. And then the way the stewardess was coming around, like, selling food and I bought the food. And tracelling food, and I bought the food.

And I think part of the reason I bought the food was I wanted to like prove to myself. I can, I can, yeah. I almost was gonna be like, can you just go tell Mattel that I bought some food back here? Can you give him this on top of his food? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Jesus Christ. Yeah, because you know, I fly, I mix it up. I'm at that mix it up stage Yeah, I'm at the mix it up stage where where I I'll splurge if it's like a long one Yeah, but if it's under four I'll save a couple bucks dude and I'm a crawling coach I definitely any place that like the Chartering is for the crazy tour that I did like when we go like oh, we're doing green Bay to Cheyenne to fucking Topeka to the you you know, like all this shit, you're like, we can't even do that week commercially.

But anytime I fly, you know, like Austin LA, commercial, and even then I'll be like, yeah, but I do fly, I do charter sometimes. I'll tell people that I charter. Yeah, it just feels, I just recently got TSA pre-check. I don't know why I waited so long. Yeah, I waited. How did you wait?

I don't know, maybe my tour schedule wasn't strong enough for me to consider it. Have you done greeters yet? What's that? I was doing clear. And then I was just dealing with being online and taking my shoes off. Please, let me set you up.

Okay. Greaters will meet me set you up. Okay. Greeders will meet you, curbside. Ooh, and they'll take you to the front of TSA. So everyone who's like, pre-checked, clear, will be like, we're in the special line and they'll be like, stand back. And then they'll take you in front of them. And then they'll walk you through.

So you'll skip the TSA, pre-checked. You'll go through a side door. Ooh. And then they'll walk you through. So you'll skip the TSA pre-check. You'll go through a side door. And then they'll walk you to the plane and then they'll go, do you want to board first or last? Does anyone say last? I mean, I don't. Yeah, who would go to the last? You know, fucking first. And then you'll tell blind people to fucking wait. Like people with dogs, you're like, sit down and then they'll put you on the plane first. A couple of veterans just on crutches and like hold up, buddy. And you're like hold up. I got greeters.

I have a few hundred dollars. I'm going to get it, but you're on the plane. It only cost a couple hundred. Yeah. Oh, I got this shit. Yeah, yeah. Cause I had to go get TSA, you have to go and I went to a staples because that's where they do it.

And the guy had seed me on podcasts there. So that was awkward. Yeah, that was really awkward because he was giving me that same vibe like, don't you fly a lot? Yeah, yeah. It was in, you know, it is so worth it. Yeah, it is. It's a game changer. It is worth it. And you realize so many people will go like, whatever, a couple hundred bucks, not worth it. And you're like, you're insane. Yeah. And then you just, you get the benefit of that. The problem with clear now though is like everyone has it. Exactly. So then you get on the line

and you're just on another line. Which is why you're gonna spend. And then you just see everyone on the crew line doing the same thing on what the, everyone's looking at each other going, what's the point of this? You're gonna spend the few hundred for the greeter. I'm going greeter.

You're going greeter's all the way, dude. Do I have to go to a staples to get it done again? No. No, no, no. You know, okay. I'll give you the number. All right, great. You're all to greet us all the way, dude. Do I have to go to a staples to get it done again? No, no, no. You know, okay. I'll give you the number. All right, great. You're all set. Yeah. All right, I'm doing greeters from now on.

Big flex. You walk through there. Yeah, I can't wait. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, it's great. It's the best. I'll still do a coach here and there. Yeah, here and there.

Yeah, sure. But, you know, also on a hectic, crazy morning, it's worth it. You know, like when you're flying out of like a really, like you're flying out of Orlando, you're like, fuck this. When it's always chaos there, or if you're doing vacation, your family or something. Yeah.

It's so worth it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. It's just worth it just, yeah, less anxiety. Exactly. That's the whole thing. Yeah, and that's why sometimes I'll spring for like a first class is just so I can feel like I got a little more room if I want to fall asleep of a little more room because

there's been times, has this ever happened you where I've fallen asleep on the plane that I woke up and like I feel like I'm dying? Like has that ever had like I have half my arms will be numb and I'll just feel like I'm not getting oxygen. I know. Like a serious panic thing. Yeah, I don't know if that's panic or if I have a heart problem. I have woken up on flies being like,

I think we're gonna crash. And then I go and I accept it. Yeah, let's just die. Yeah, let's just die right now. Dude, that happened to me once. A bad one. I had a bad one once where we were flying into a small airport and my plane the plane there was so much wind that as we were coming down the plane kind of went like on

its side like completely did like a like the plane was listening to fat Joe lean back like it kind of just did like a. And then there was this everyone on the plane started freaking out. And this girl next to me started going like you can tell she did like a... And then there was this, everyone on the plane started freaking out. And this girl next to me started going, like you can tell she was like a type of girl who'd never been through anything in her entire life. And she started going, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, and she looked at me,

and she goes, what's happening? And I was like, turbulence. I don't, I don't fuck it. I don't, I'm sitting in a middle seat on a jet blue flight. With you lady. Yeah, I don't know what to, we're about to die. I guess, I don't know. I don't have any. I'm sitting in a middle seat on a jet blue flight. With you, lady. Yeah, I don't know what to, we're about to die. I guess, I don't know.

I don't have any answers for you. Yeah, that's it. And I don't know why the panic of others gives me comfort. Like if I see people freaking out, I just go like, yeah, like, I don't know why. Yeah, it kinda, it has the opposite, it doesn't know. It calms you. It calms me down.

Seeing people lose their shit makes me relax. You know of, it has the opposite, it doesn't know. It calms you. It calms me down. Yeah. Seeing people lose their shit makes me relax. You know, we're seeing someone scared makes me happy. Yeah. Seeing somebody, you know, like super nervous. So the same thing that calms Jeffrey Dahmer calms you. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it does. It does. I like seeing somebody scoop. Yeah. I see somebody go, I don't like this. I like to do something like this. I see something going on like this. I'm like, this is pretty cool. Yeah. And then we landed, right?

When we finally landed. I always, like, in that moment, I always pictured, like, if we were all going to die, I figured, like, because she grabbed my arm at one point at a fear. And so in my mind, I always imagined what happens next. It's like, I grab her pussy. Yeah, yeah. And we just keep going. Yeah. Cause I don't want to die like being the last person in such my deck. You know, yeah, exactly. But that that didn't it didn't happen that way. And also like, can you imagine like the the turbulence part where you're like,

just do it. And she's like, do what? You know, you know, we're all thinking the same thing. Yeah. Let's just start hook it out. That'll be funny though, if everyone did that and then the plane just land safely and everyone's just like, Oh, correct. That was weird. And it's right as you come. Yeah.

You're like, you did it. I don't know. The thing is, as can you get aroused in that situation? That's really, well, I know you can. I can. Yeah, you become as a cucumber. And I get super aroused on flights. Yeah, you know that's the thing?

Yeah, I have hard ons like most flights. With a thing to do. Well, here's the thing, look up sexual arousal on flights. And apparently there's somebody sent me an article on this. There's theories on, I mean maybe that, I don't know. I used to get aroused by the stuartuses, but I don't think they hire anyone under 60 now. Now they're fucking dogs, but back in the day.

But there's all these, you know, it could be the adrenaline rush that comes from a flank and also mimic the feelings of sexual excitement. So you're just sitting there rock hard. A lot of times, yeah. I've even had not what I wanted, but I've fallen asleep, very aroused,

kind of napped, wake up, fully aroused, and even had like the male flight attend go, did you have a nice nap? Like that where I'm like, huh? He's like, yeah, he saw it. Yeah. And it's a lot of you just sleep at a point. Well, what do you, yeah.

Some, this article actually broke down too that maybe it's a lack of, in other words, you're flying. There is no inhibition, there's no control. You're out of control completely. So maybe that does something to you psychologically. You know what I mean? Where like, you can't control anything that happens over the next couple hours however long this flight is, and so that that might contribute to it

But apparently it's not completely It's not a rare thing that some people do this. So I've always had this where I'm on Look put this in a novel environment breaks us out out of our regular routine this heightened state of Generalized arousal, but this is a thing for me where I'm always fired up on flights. And it literally, I can be at a zero pre-flight and a zero afterwards. It's just when you're up there.

So it's the out of control thing. I think maybe you ever thought about looking into getting kicked in the nuts and seeing how that goes. That might, this might be like the marijuana to you. I have sensitive nuts though. I like a light graze. You like a graze. Yeah, I like nails and a gentle flick.

Yeah, I don't like, I don't like those. Me neither. I don't like, I don't like what you do. I don't see how guys can take the stomping without vomiting uncontrollably. Yeah, I mean, you could like hit it like that and I'd be like hold on and how guys can take the stomping without vomiting uncontrollably. I mean, you could like, hit it like that, and I'd be like, hold on, and I'd be on the ground.

How do these guys take full kicks? It just shows you the power of like human psychology that the feeling of being out of control or being like, uh... Doesn't that physically take you out? It's got to. I don't know. I mean, I've watched it. I've watched it. I could take, you know,

there's things that I'm open to a pinch spank slap where you go. Okay, go on the butt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, six inch cock and you're not something that's different. Yeah, but I mean a fucking like a full I've seen those full kick or stop on the nut and the guys like thank you. And you're like, are you not sick right now? Yeah. Like, I don't know. That's the one where I go. I have no idea how you're able to.

I understand big slap. Like even the full paddle spanks or whipping, you're like, I get it. I get it. I mean, that might be too much for me with this guy, but I get it, but the nut stuff, I'm just like, I mean, I guess it's because my own physical tolerance for it is so low. Yeah, but you would figure every guy's physical. I would think so.

That's the thing is I thought that was universal that all of us, even MMA fighters who are the toughest guys, double over, double over with that happens. And there's guys out there who are like, well, I would like to come. So if you don't mind, just stop. Double over. Yeah. And there's guys out there who are like, well, I would like to come. So if you don't mind, yeah, stop on my balls. Yeah. It's funny that an MMA fighter will double over in pain and gets five minutes, but like some CEO of GE will do it again.

Do it again. Do it again. So I can feel balanced. Yeah. Yeah. It's always like the richest guys, most powerful guys to because that would just be mean kicking like a poor guy in the nuts. You're like, life's already doing that. You're right. That is a little bit of it. And that is a total like the psychology of that adds up, right?

Super rich and a powerful guy is always in control. So he goes, I surrender the control to what you want to. Yeah, you know. Yeah, I think it's to get balanced out. I think we're like always seeking some sort of. Well, it's also balance. I make like a guy like. CEO. His life is I make every decision. Everybody goes, how about this? And then he has to decide, right? And as soon as that person walks out of the room, two power people come in. We need to know what to do with

he. And so he's just decision to decision to decision. So what you're doing in that situation, is you're really saying you make the decisions and I'm just gonna go along with it. And that person goes, I'm gonna kick you in the fucking balls. Just crazy. And he's just like, okay. So yeah, yeah. And he likes it.

He loves it. Yeah. So something overrides the physical. But maybe it's that. It's exactly what you're saying. It's not that he loves the sensation of getting kickedides the physical. But maybe it's that. It's exactly what you're saying. It's not that he loves the sensation of getting kicked in the balls. It's that he loves that someone decided to do it.

Right, I think so. That's where it's tied in, right? It's that somebody's going, I have decided something and you're fucking going with it. Yeah. Because I make the decisions around here. Right. It's almost like a break.

It's like a vacation from having to make all the decisions. Yeah. And that's what they always talk about. It's the most extreme. The most extreme. They always talk about a sense of like a release that at the end of those sessions like with doms and stuff that they're like, like they're just, you know, they're just completely spent. Yeah. With, um, oh my God, I, I didn't have, I didn't have to make any calls. Yeah. It's like going with spa for them any calls. It's like going to a spa for them. Yeah, it's like getting kicked in the nuts. Fuck, is the way an ordinary person would feel after a nice massage and a facial.

They're like, no, dude, I took 27 hard stilettos to the Franks and Beans. Dude, I've seen those and I'm like, how are you able to do this? Yeah, I've seen the ones where the videos where she's stomping on them. Oh, yeah. We have them. Yeah, and the guys just rock hard like this.

You go, Jesus Christ, man. I saw one we watched on your mom's house where this lady was lining up and it was like, it's the fourth quarter and if she can make this 53-yard field goal, we're going to Super Bowl. She lined up and fucking gave it everything. And this guy's like, and then she's like, back up, and he stands back up. His legs are shaking. And then she's just like, look at this blood. Yes, yeah, like bleeding.

Bleeding, bleeding. And she's just like, and he's just like, right back up. Like, yeah, do it again. Yeah. Sexual pecadillos are, there's just like right back up. Like, yeah, do it again. Yeah. Sexual pecadillos are, there's just. It's fucking fascinating. Fascinating and funny. It's really, yeah, it's funny.

I remember one of the first things me and my buddy filmed was this video called Slaver Size. It was this dominatrix trying to make an exercise video. And she used her real slaves, but they all wore masks. They were all like CEOs of whatever. And yeah, she had them like, you know, like ballerina outfits. Yeah. And you see these guys like pull up in like a Lexus Jeep and they get out with like a

kitten mask on. Yeah. And then a ballerina outfit and then they would exercise and what she would do is she was just like, they would obviously exercise wrong on purpose so that they could get the discipline and that was the point of her slave- That's very funny concept. Yeah, it was like, yeah.

I was like, I don't think any of them were gonna want to get in shape because they're just gonna want to do it wrong. So you come over and whip them. I would love to misbehave for my, you know, for my dom. So I'd give me my punishment. Yeah, yeah. It's very, it's backwards. So many of those things are unexplored for people too, which is really fascinating.

They'll, I don't want to open those doors. I know, but it's like people who, you know, you're living into your 40s and 50s and then like never trying anything, you know, you see people that are so... It's the point of freedom without it. Yeah. Yeah, man, like fucking leave the country if you're, you see people that are so... What's the point of freedom without it? Yeah. Yeah, man, like fucking leave the country if you're gonna be like that. Yeah, go do a communist country,

if you wanna be told what to come to. Do tell her what you like, man. Yeah, and there's just so many things I can open the door for you now on the internet. You can just, if you get a little too curious, you ever go to something and feel a little tingle and then you just turn it off real quick, you're like, ah, ah, ah, and then you go just go back

and you just, let me see something missionary, male, female. Yeah. Clearly male, female. Yeah, that's clearly a male and a female. Wait, let me see. No, yeah. Cause transport blurs the lines. Yeah.

It blurs the lines a little bit. Yeah. Some of those ladies are like fantastic looking. Well, you've seen those you ever get sent the it's like a Little like a gift or meme where it shows this absolutely dropped Ed Gorgeous woman who's like looking into camera Right, and she's like super and you're like god damn. What is she and then like camera pans down? You see like perfect tits Navel and then she like has like a little wrap on, she opens it, and there's like an eight inch dick.

Yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah, and they're like, this like gorgeous, gorgeous woman with a huge cock. Yeah. And you're like, what is this supposed to do to me? It's why I took the vaccine so many times. Because I'm like, yo, if science could do that, I trust in science.

I took a guy. And then you see those before pictures, like if you see their high school pictures, and it's just some guy named Steve with braces, and he's just a guy, and then you look at it, and you're like, science did that, they could come up with a vaccine that works. If it makes me want to fuck Steve,

then it could definitely give me a vaccine that could protect me against COVID. This is the first time I've heard this point of view. I'm really into it. People don't think about it enough. Yeah. I mean, science did that, dude. They create women out of guides,

which is the opposite of a woman and where they can fool you. That's the thing is when you're full completely, when you, when you know what you're like, sometimes when you see a trans woman, you're like, I'll be respectful. Like, hey, it's cool that you did that. Yeah, you try to pretend like you don't see certain things.

It's your, yeah, you're just being polite. It's just the same way you talk to your friend's grandmother. You're like, hello. Yeah, you're just nice. Yeah, you know? And then it's like, it's just being nice. It's like we talk to some with special needs. Yeah, you're just like, like it's just being nice. It's like we talked to like some with special needs. Yeah, you're just like, how's it going?

Yeah. So, you know, they're like, I went on the wrong position and you're like, I don't know. That's good. How's it going? And then you see a trans woman who you're like, oh my God.

Yeah. Like this is like, what a spectacularly beautiful woman. And you realize that it's a trans woman. That level is mind blowing. Yeah. And it's usually Asian. Let's be honest. Yeah, they are so much better at it.

There's a sweet spot of like Asian to Latino. Yeah, yeah. Kind of in there, if it's like too white, you're like, ooh, or if it's black, you're like, ooh, but there's like something in the middle that just kind of works. Like the middle of the equator, you go too far north, too far wet, they can't pull the transition off.

The right tone. You can be the right tone. Yeah, you'd see this. I know, and I wondered too, if like in that environment, you would just be like, yeah, I switched, man. That's all I do now. I live in Rio and I just fuck trans women. I don't care.

It's look at the beach. You just change completely. I just wonder how it works in foot locker, you know, when they gotta go by shoes. Yeah. Is it like, where do they, you know, yeah, sure, like if you're true, because that's the one thing, the foot, a woman's 12. Yeah, yeah, like if you're true because you have the foot a women's 12 yeah you know women's shack size. The they give it away they have to go to the men's that's the thing here's the thing you're you don't transition your hands or your feet right that's the thing everything else right

like I mean you really you know you'd have, you luck out on like neck on facial structure, right? Like, you know, there's some facial structures that like help with the transition and you know, neck's, things like that. Obviously like shoulder width and all this. But your hands and your feet stay with they all. They stay the gender you were born. Yeah, so does your cock.

You're talking a lot of times. Cots will also be the same as what it was. Yeah, that's a dead giveaway for male to female. And I think the dead giveaway for female to male is that they're still like five one and their voice. Always, like some guy will come in. Stature, yeah. And then with the voice starts starts you're like, you know

It's like hey, you know, he says that like where we represent the lolly park like hey has a guy my name's Tom What's going on? Yeah, yeah, and you're like hasty or five one one thirty. Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm a barely guy played a yeah high school football. You like did you did just what Kelly? Yeah, what's up dog? Yeah Hey, what's up dog? Yeah, they's up, dog? Yeah. Hey, what's up, dog? Yeah, they always have that. Speaking of trans, did you see the, uh, uh, the SNL writer has, uh, said that they're boycotting Chappelle hosting because his transphobic jokes are equivalent to murder. Yeah.

And like, they're just sitting this one out, and you know, you get to do that? Yeah. That's wild. Y'all, you get to make that leap in logic too. It's equivalent to murder. Okay, now this says that that's not happening. I don't know, okay.

Well, I read a very clear, a fucking thing today that said, very much the opposite. So let me see. This is on. Yeah, it's not equivalent to murder, but when Dave Chappelle does put out a new special, the trans community does get prepared.

They really do. Yeah, they're like, okay, here we go. I sent it to your Zolo. Yeah, I saw this today and I was like, huh? I would have sex with a trans woman. I would just pretend like, do you imagine me on a flight sitting next to a trans woman?

I wouldn't be able to say no. You, yeah, you'd be ready to go. All you gotta do is pretend like your dick is so big that it popped through to the other side. Total. And that way it's not gay. Okay, so just, that, just to be clear, this said,

Saturday night there are reports that some writers are boycotting in protests. They're not doing the show, but none of some writers are boycotting in protests. They're not doing the show, but none of the actors are boy. And then oh, and then this is a Instagram story earlier this week. Right, so she posted on her Instagram. She posted on her Instagram that Celeste Yin said, transphobia is murder and it should be condemned. Right, but go to that, there it is. I'm trans and non-binary. I use they then pronouns.

Transphobia is murder. It should be condemned. That's the, I guess that writer, who the report said it was boycotting the show. But now, did you use it pronouns? Did I? I think you said, yeah. I think you said, the report said

it was boycotting the show. My bad. Well, I mean, it has in the report. Right, right, right, the report, the report said. Because she's they them. Not got it. Yeah, I got it. Those guys were protesting the show and just point at them. Not got it. Yeah, I got it. Those guys were protesting the show

and just point at them, which is her. It's like a game of who's on first, really. And by the way, totally logical. Makes sense, everybody should be doing it. Yeah, everyone should, yeah. So, but the newest thing is that that's not happening. Am I right? Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

So all the reports are like, that's not happening. Okay. Well, my whole thing was actually more amazed than somebody saying I'm boycotting, because so and so is the host, is that you're allowed to. Right. Like, if you were allowed to, if you could be like, hey, you know, I don't like the way this guy talks about Greek,

so I won't be writing on this week's show. Like, are you allowed to do that? Yeah, apparently it depends on... If it was Greeks, they wouldn't allow you, they'd fire you, but if it's trans, yeah, I think they killed Dave Chappelle or something like that. Yeah, they go, okay, we gotta kill him then. We have to kill him. Yeah, that's what we gotta do.

Yeah, there's protected groups that no jokes are allowed. You're not allowed to make a joke about them, And you must, you must call them plural pronouns. Yeah, if they, you know. Yeah. Because like, all right, you wanna be a he, or you wanna be considered he, or you are a he, I don't wanna get into it. You are a he, but there's still only one of you standing there.

Right. So why do I gotta call you a bunch of guys? Right, they. Yeah, why am I going day? You know, it's like, there's one of you. Isn't there another pronoun that somebody could use that is not plural? Annoying.

They know it's more of an adjective. But you know what, if we're playing games with grammar, why not just go with the truth? Annoying would like us to keep working on it. There goes annoying. There goes annoying. Yeah. Jesus.

Yeah, there's a number of they, thems out there. Yeah, it's really confusing. Like if you're, you imagine being on set, like if you're booked on a huge movie and they're like, all right, day one, we're just gonna go over some pronoun usage here. And you'd be like, going back to my podcast. I'm like, quit.

Yeah, imagine having like explained to someone if you have someone, you're picking someone up in your car who has they them pronouns. And you're like, and they're like, are they coming? And he's like, man, we don't have, we don't have a room in the car for them. There's only one seat, you're like, trust me, they'll fit.

They'll fit, yeah, fit. Yeah, we got. What is that first one? Faye. Faye, yeah. Faye, fair. Faye, fair. Fair.

That's a pronoun for a non-binary person. Faye, okay. Actually, I think the ZZimzer thing actually kind of works. It also works if you're warming up for improv, remember? Yeah, ZZim Zer thing actually kind of works. It also works if you're warming up for improv, remember? ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZZim ZZim ZZZim ZZZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZim ZZ Zizai, her, her spelled HIR. I talked to the head of the psychology department at one of the countries. I am not identifying the person,

just because they haven't said I could. Right. But they are the head of the psychology department at one of the premier academic institutions in the country. Like if I told you the school, you're like, oh, that's a top tier school. And we're talking at this dinner about this whole phenomena.

And I was like, you know, I was kind of embarrassed because I was ready to just be told, get dressed down that I'm a fucking dinosaur, you know, I was kind of embarrassed because I was ready to just be told, get dressed down that I'm the fucking dinosaur, you know? And I was like, oh, fuck. And I was like, yes, so like, what do you think of all that, you know, the pronoun stuff? And he goes, well, on day one of classes, I got our school, you know, students write their name

and then their email. And then right next to it, they write their pronoun and I don't know what he's going to go yet and I go, so what do you think of that? And he goes, when they write like they them and I go, yeah, he goes, it's nonsense. Wow. Really? And he goes, yeah, but I have to go along with it. Like, I can't tell them that it's nonsense, but it is nonsense. And I was like, oh, that's so cool. But also so sad that he has to be quiet and be like, oh, I don't want to get, because academia is the place that really that shit thrives

the most. Academia is the place where they go. Every thing that is worth ridiculing, we will act like is completely logical here. In this pretend bubble that doesn't represent reality. That and Holly was another place or show business where people are like, oh, let's do the whole fucking charade. Academia and show business. The two most make believe places. Well, we will completely make believe that what you're saying. I'm Latin X, so. Yeah.

Yeah. Sure, buddy. Yeah. It's weird. It's gone, and it keeps going. It never ends, so it's like, because they never get satisfied. It's like their appetite for it is insatiable.

Yeah, it's insatiable. So now you got, instead of pedophiles, minor attracted person. It's unfuckin' believe. that's the other calling them maps. Maps, yeah. And instead of, because pedophile has a stigma. Yes, for the second time.

Yes, I think it should have a stigma. I think that's an earned stigma. I think we can switch it maybe to kid fuckers. Yeah, but maps. Yeah. Yeah, there's a couple maps over there. Don't, you know, don't make them feel weird. Yeah, they're just dope.

And then they got now inmate to incarcerated person, which incarcerated person. Yeah, because it has less of a stigma. Yeah, it also implies that the person maybe shouldn't be incarcerated, you know. Right. There's a tone to that. That suggests that's what they're going for.

Like not really culpable, not accountable for what led them to be an incarcerated person. That's the problem is there's no end to empathy. That's the problem. I did social work, you know, when I first started doing comedy, I did you? Yeah. And the problem is like eventually, you know,

only people who have done social work, no, you get cynical enough to know that like, hey man, sometimes there's just no solution. Yeah, like empathy's just like, all you end up doing as a social worker is just checking medications. You just go, hey, let's adjust this. Okay, we'll change that with that.

Like people don't always want to be better or can be cured. Like I was working with a formerly homeless population and a lot of those people, they were taken up the street in the SRO program in New York and then they just would willingly go back out because they were more comfortable on the street. You know, it's like that's what they wanted.

And you can't say that, but. You know what the real thing is about, like it shows you the balls of these fucking people the people that are always giving you the lectures on how to speak and Is that with like with latin X or Latin X 98% of the Latin population Does not use or want to use that term. So you're talking about 2%, you're saying 2% of a group wants to say something

and 98% don't, but you're telling them, no, no, no, this is what you are. It's like, literally it feels like colonialism. Like it feels like a people landing and going, this is what you'll say, here's what you'll worship. And you have literal Latino people just going, we don't use that, we don't want to use that. And they go, we're going to tell you to use it.

And you should accept this. Yeah. 2%, the 2% is probably teens, people that are growing up in this generation, they go, no, no, we want to be, and you're like, yeah, but nobody else, I mean, 2% of the population fucks dogs. We don't change all of our fuck, you know, rule, to, like, how about the whole thing

where we go with the majority? The majority of people have said, we don't want to use this term, who are those people? It's not white people voting for them. It's actually Latin people. And by the way, Latin is gender neutral. You don't need to voting for them. It's actually Latin people. And by the way, Latin is gender neutral. You don't need to add the X. I always wondered that. Yeah. Latin is gender neutral. You say Latin America. Right. There are Latin people here. And the language that

they speak is a language that you must use masculine and or feminine words. All words have this variability to them. And they're like, no, no, no. Well, ex that out. I'm just like, huh? This is how they speak. You're putting on them a whole rule that they have not subscribed to. Right.

It's so arrogant is what it is. It's just, it reeks of arrogance, and it's why white women are the worst. They're just the worst. You know it's a good example of how ridiculous it is is people of color, right? So yeah, remember when color, like you can't say color anymore. Like color was bad, but now it's like back as good.

Right, people of color. Yeah, people, you're like, I thought that's not what we wanted. And most black people you may go, I'm black. Yeah, I'm black. Yeah, I got, you know, I'm a color. I'm a color. I'm a color here a bi-p I'm black. Yeah, I'm black. Yeah, I got no, you don't go. I'm a person of color. I'm a person of color. You're a bi-pock.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're going, why are we, why can't people do this? This is a, this is a, black community. I'm black, my dad's black. Yeah, it's like, yeah, we're black. And they're going like, why are you doing that?

Yes, don't call yourself that. It let me tell you. Somebody who has no idea what you've gone through. Let me tell you. You're the first black no idea what you've gone through. No clue. You're the first black person I've met. I mean person of color. Person of color. Yeah.

I know that really like, I don't know what they think it accomplishes either. Like, it's just softer and it's vague and it makes you go which color. So, you know, just fucking lead with black. So, I know what color I'm talking to. Yeah. You know, person of color. Which fucking color? Yeah. Yeah. It's somebody can go, well, I'm talking to. Yeah, you know, person of color. Which fucking color? Yeah, yeah.

It's somebody can go, well, I'm olive. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Yeah. And even if you were on the phone with someone and you know they're black, you have to pretend like, you know, and you don't, yeah. Because you clearly can tell.

You could tell in seconds. It about a half a second. Yeah, you could tell. Customer service. You could just tell. They have a different, like, you can tell it. Yeah, customer service. You could just tell. They have a different, like, soulful way of talking. It's just kind of a different rhythm. Right away.

Yeah, right away, right away. Right away. Yeah. Can I help you? Yeah. And you're like, oh boy, it's just going to take a while. Yeah. Oh, you know, or you, if that, that if you get the if you get the one from like a million miles away in India

Mr. Papa we are very happy for you commitment to our company You're like I can't shit. I'm gonna spend half the time just trying to figure out your friend there. Yeah and have to time just trying to figure out what you're saying. Do you have a friend there? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's rare. It's usually, usually Indian. Usually you get the Indian. Yeah. Yeah, you get Indian. Yeah. I don't know. Sometimes you're, I mean, then sometimes it goes so smooth and you're like, hey, by the way, way to go. You're really fucking nailed it on this moment.

Yeah, it's really a pleasant experience when it goes good. Yeah, really. Yeah. Yeah. You could make anyone appreciate the smallest thing when it it goes good. Yeah, really. Yeah. Yeah. You could make anyone appreciate the smallest thing when it usually goes bad. Yeah.

That's how you can, you know, that's how you can control people. Doesn't this make you feel, by the way, that like you'll never leave podcasting? Absolutely. Yeah. You can't talk like this. Talk about this stuff.

Yeah. Anywhere else. Yeah. And it's all I want to talk about. Yeah. Because you live in the real world. Yeah. And it's all I wanna talk about. Yeah, because you live in the real world. Yeah. And you imagine, like tomorrow you get hired by some, I don't know if like an NBC show or something.

And they're like, hey, yeah. We were listening to your thing. Yeah. Could you not? And you'd be like, I think I'd rather just do that. Yeah. They're like, okay, first episode. We want you to lead with your pronouns. Yeah. And you're like, I think I'd rather just do that. Yeah, they're like, okay, first episode, we want you to lead with your pronouns.

And you're like, okay, he's so pick him. Yeah. And he's like, all right. I'm gonna go with he-ha. Is that work for you? Yeah, I imagine like, I think like, that's why I would love to see like a real Jimmy Fallon show. I'd like to see the real Jimmy Fallon show.

Oh, the real Fallon? Yeah, like if he was to do it, it's like the way he wanted it. Where he has a couple drinks before? Yeah, where he just plops a couple of Jameson's and shoot like chases him with Guinness's and then some actress comes on and he's just like takes his dick out.

Yeah, he's like, I can't. I can't do the J-Lenno thing. I can't drive it. I can't do it anymore. And he's like, I can't pretend to act like what you said was entertaining. Yeah, he's can't do it. And she's like, and then I, I didn't think I was gonna

get this dress. And he's like, who gives a fuck about your stupid dress? She's like, what? He's like suck my, he changes the egg game. Instead of just cracking eggs on each other's head, he just takes them and just starts fucking pelting them on them. You suck. I'm only I throw in these at people a color Agon people

It's all pet W Balan yeah, that would be a great show that would bring it back that would that would bring 25 million viewers Yeah second, right? Yeah, everyone would do it, but after a week He's just like totally hung over and strung out He's just fucking drunk He's just cursed like my wife left fuck you the whole show's bleep That's in his heart, you know fucking hate it. There There's so many goddamn Arabs in this city and they're like, whoa We'll be right back The bad just plays

Rooking roots just are playing There's a Christian country Just pours himself a drink Yeah! Yeah! Just pours himself a drink. Yeah. It's in there. That would be the best fucking tonight show ever.

And it would happen because he has to stop him. He can't say anything he wants. Nothing. I don't know how you could live like that. He's like, he's like, dude, he's a kid. $100 million, you know. You go and get your wife, you're fine. Bounce yourself out.

$100 million. I'm sure he's got it. I'm sure it's like, I wonder what it is. He's wife, you're fine. Bounce yourself out. $100 million. I'm sure he's got it. I'm sure it's like, I wonder what it is. Like, he's got a lot of money. So he figures out another way. Maybe he gets kicked in the balls on the weekends, you know?

Just to balance himself out. He gets 16 million for hosting the show. Okay. But that's also every year. Yeah. That's the thing. I thought it would be more, but I guess that's not what it is anymore, huh?

Yeah. There's also so much competit, right? Because there's him, there's Colbert, there's Kimmel. There's all, there's, it used to be there's fucking 25 channels. Yeah. So the viewership would be, yeah, through the roof.

I wonder who's gonna get Daily Show? Now that Trevor Noah's going. Yeah. I don't know where, what they do. It seems. Seems like it's gonna be someone not American again. Maybe. I mean, he's great, he's very funny, he's charismatic and everything, but it always made me wonder like,

do we not have? It's not gonna be a white guy. No, that can't do that. There's too many white guys. No, can't do that. It'll be like, who could it be? Maybe somebody from the show? Not Michael Costa.

No, maybe like Roy Wood Jr. He'd be very asked and they just laughed in his face. They were, are you kidding me? Yeah, please. Haasen used to do it. He did, he's a good like host. Yeah. He's not manage. Yeah.

I don't know. But he's straight, right? Hossin? Yeah. So that's no good. Well, yeah. Cal Pan would be good. Yeah. Oh, how about Ronnie? Ronnie could be good. He's on the show. I don't know. He's still on the show, but he's very fun. I think, yeah, very funny. That could be a whole different perspective. He could be good. He's on the show. I don't know if he's still on the show, but he's very funny. He's still on there, I think. Very funny. That could be a whole different perspective. He could be really good. Yeah.

I think they'll host from, I think they'll hire from within. You think so? I mean, it's my guess. I think it makes sense for what the show is now. I mean, it's such a great brand. And those guys that we just listed are all, you know, highly proficient, funny dudes. I think it makes sense.

I think what they might do is just give it to Zelensky. Yeah? Yeah, another comedian, just another comedian, but he's Ukrainian and that right now is as hot and oppressed group we can get. Every day he opens with it and you're like, come on. He's like, we need more money.

Yeah. Come on. Probably's like we need more money Come on, but what happened to that thing? It's like a show that's still on yeah So go wow, I thought it went off the air What season are we in? Six seasons in. It's like the bachelor, you're like, what? What? You're still going? Yeah, I think it's still on the air. I think ratings are down. Ratings are way better.

I think ratings are down. Yeah, people are even like, you know what, I guess the Russians have a point. They're kind of swaying. Yeah, they're like, I don't know, it's their border. Yeah, at this point they're like, all right, guys, figure it out. I met a guy, give me a full pro Putin speech on it.

Oh, that's fun. And I thought he was doing a bit. That was fun. Yeah. Because it was at dinner. And I was like, he was like, I brought up the fact I was like, it feels like it's not even like covered that much anymore.

You know, it's an act of war. They just fucking leveled a school. Yeah. And he was like, yeah, I mean, he goes, and like Putin always being portrayed as the bad guy. And I was like, what? And then he did this whole, like, five minute monologue. And at the end, I was like, oh, this is real.

I was like, oh. And I was like, yeah, man, let's get here. Let's get another drink. Yeah, I didn't know. No one knew where to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, everyone's always like making poo and out to be his kind of fucking dick.

And I was like, yeah, he goes, he could have leveled that place. And I was like, oh, he waited. Like he could be, yeah, he could really dial the pack. Yeah, he's really holding on. Yeah, I was like, yeah, minus some of those hospitals in schools. He fucking, he took it easy. Yeah.

And he left a fucking pathway for the ref, like to get out. He's a good guy. He's a fucking solid dude. Yeah, good lawyer. He's also good at like, with critics in Russia, they usually don't last out a lot. They fall out of windows.

Yeah, they go poison a lot of the journalists or just gone. They just eat the wrong food all the time. It happens a lot of the journalists, they're just gone. Yeah, they just eat the wrong food all the time. It happens, I've been to a lot of restaurants like that. You fall out of a hospital window, that happens. They're always so close to the bed. And then when you try to go like, where, it's happened to me.

It's open easily, you just go. It's so easily. And like sometimes you get up and you're like, where's the bathroom? I've made that mistake. I've felt out of window once. It's like, oh, this was a bathroom. It, yeah. Yeah, this dude literally talked at this dinner

like the Kremlin sent him to our dinner. Right. Like he was like, what is he supposed to do? I mean, they're on the border. He's like, what are you doing? I was like, yeah. Let's get more color, Murray. I don't know, man.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe the Kremlin did. Yeah. Yeah. I like how his Putin's reasons just on the Murray. I don't know, man. Yeah. Yeah, maybe the Kremlin did. Yeah. Yeah. I like how his Putin's reasons just changed a lot. At first, he was like, we're getting the Nazis out. And he's like, all right, all right. I didn't buy that one so much.

All right, how about this? NATO. NATO. NATO, I want them here. It's our border too. Yeah. And he's like, all right, fine. It's because of the Kardashians.

Does that work? It just keeps fucking just trying stuff. Trying stuff. It's because of the Kardashians. Does that work? It just keeps fucking, just trying stuff. Try it. Which one do you like? He's just throwing up prepses. Yeah. I mean, that one could be a bit. People are always trying to call him

like a fucking psychopathic dick that he's not. He's a good guy. He's a great guy. He changed the constitution so he could keep running. But he need to do. He needs to do that. It's not ego. It's not him being a control freak.

He's a totally sweet human being. Definitely. He really is totally, he's not him being a control freak. He's a totally sweet human being. Definitely a cool guy. He's totally, he's being misrepresented in the media. Much like Kanye. Kanye is a great guy who loves the juice. He's having a real interesting fourth quarter. I hope it doesn't stop him. I'm gonna join it.

Q4 is really something. It's fun to watch. Yeah. It's fun to watch him just double down every time. Wild. Yeah, he's just... Can I tell you the thing about him that's actually, I think, is almost unfair about all this?

It's just putting it up. Promote, in other words, most people who have some type of bipolar and are out there just saying wild shit are not famous, right? But everything that they're saying during that time, you just be like, well, he's kind of going through a manic episode right now. But when you're famous and you're going through an episode and you make it news and you're making people respond as if you are of normal faculties or whatever, like that's really what's unfair about it to him.

It's like, you just stop interviewing him, right? Like he's gonna say while shit, because he's out of his fucking mind right now. Yeah, and I thought everyone's trying to be very empathetic now, but they'll burn him to the ground. When he's clearly off his bed. He clearly do, and he's clearly, and I'm not even saying,

you're not accountable, you are accountable for what you say. And I clearly, they're making him accountable. Is it wrong though that it's entertaining? No, it's sort of like that friend that you have who has a drinking problem, but you kind of don't want him to stop because it's fun. You know he's gonna die, but you're like,

God, it's too fun. I don't have anyone like that. I set you up for that one. It's fun, remember when I felt bad about this later, but it's true, remember when Mel Gibson did the drunk voicemails? Oh yeah. And it's like, we played them and we laughed.

And then later I was like, you know, we played somebody at their worst moment who just happened to be famous, leaving a drunk voicemail that was wild and inappropriate and crazy. But we played it because it was entertaining. You're entertaining to hear somebody talk so crazy. Nothing's off limits now. If no. If someone could get a story or yeah, it's just off's off limits, but Kanye. Yeah, I mean to me

I think that's the that's the Narrative you see the least is that he's off his meds and people go like well that doesn't mean that You know you can say whatever you want. I was like well no one said that right, but we are saying you should at least acknowledge Right that this guy is not of sound mind. He's not of sound mind. He's saying, wild shit. Yeah, you know? I am torn over it because I don't want it. It's good.

When he goes, that one point where he goes, I too now understand, he goes, I understand, I want to apologize to black community. And you're like, finally, he's gonna, you know, he's gonna, he's gonna make it okay. And then he just doubles down, he just pulls a reverse and he goes, because when Adidas took my money,

they essentially put their boot on my neck. Oh my god. So I know what how George Floyd felt. That's it, what you're like. And you're like, whoa, I felt the same way he felt. Yeah, and you're good. I couldn't breathe as my shares went out of the window. And you're like, oh, shit.

I lost like $3 billion that day. You're like, stop, just stop talking about that. Stop. Yeah, you know, they messed, they tried to tell me I was crazy, tried to mess with my medications, my doctor, I won't say what religion it was. That was a good one too. Yeah, or is like, I won't say it.

Yeah, and you're like, I think you said it. I think we know. Yeah, I mean, yeah, they don't play when you start fucking, saying shit wild like that and you talk about corporate mean Chase bank stop being his bank. Yeah, they were like for all his business like that They were actually I think first of all the people that like backed out. Yeah, they were like you need a new bank Transactions with which is pretty crazy. Yeah, and he was probably going see see what they do. Yeah, yeah told you Yeah, yeah. I told you. Yeah, yeah. Everybody is like out of business with him.

And then Kyrie. Yeah. Not the same degree, but it's also like Nike dropped him. I never thought you could be that level athlete with an endorsement and have someone like a Nike's usually stood behind all their athletes during, you know, turmoil, but they were like, nah, you're done. Yeah, I mean, it, you know, they didn't take away Kanye's money when he said the slave

was a choice. No. They were like, you're like, when he said that, you're probably like, this is probably going to keep going. Mm-hmm. Like when Kyrie was like, I'm a flat-erther, you're like, it's not gonna, he's not gonna figure it out tomorrow. He's a flat-erther.

Yeah. Who's the other thing? He had another one. He was a super anti-vax. He was like the only guy. Super anti-vax. And now he's like in his real life as well. So you just, no, it's gonna keep going.

I wonder, the next one's gonna be, he's got another one coming. Those things don't stop, you know? Yeah. You know, people who are into that, they don't stop. I think flat earthers, I don't want that to stop either because that's fun. That's one of the best. Yeah, that's one of the best. And also like when you're yelling at them, it's almost like yelling at retarded kids. Yeah. That is not, does anyone, how come nobody's advocating for them? Yeah. Like those guys are not smart. Why would you yell at them?

That's like yelling at a guy with Down syndrome. That's mean. It's super mean. It's mean. And their logic is always they're like, I look out the window, I don't see a curve. Yeah. I'm like, I've been on planes, I don't see curves.

Well, one guy's solution was, he was like, there's one solution to this, because I looked into this once and I was dying, laughing there's one solution. If we put a surveillance camera on the moon to watch the earth, he was like, cause they can't Photoshop it. They're gonna slip up at some point.

Yeah. At some point, they can't Photoshop it 24 hours a day. Yeah, I just need to be able to see it 24 hours a day. You do, yeah. You do Tim. Yeah, Tim needs to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, for them it makes them like James Bond now. 24 hours a day. You do. You do Tim. Yeah, Tim needs to. Yeah. Yeah. But for them, it makes them like James Bond now. Totally. There's also that great.

There's these videos on YouTube. You can see of this too. And it's in one of the big docs about flat earth. It has the most prominent flat earther. And I'm not smart enough to know the experiment. But apparently there's experiments you can do that are pretty simple, right? Where you line up, I don't know, something over here,

laser light or something, and they're like, if this hits this, you know, it would prove that the earth is round, and that's not gonna happen, and then they do it, and they're like, oh, hold on, let's, let's change, hold on, I don't know, this is kind of fucking me up right now. And then they get like, oh, they're like, yeah, you just ran the experiment.

They're the proofs that it's around. I know somebody who thought that he's a flat-erther, and he thinks that I go, what about like all the, like the NASA footage and his answer is like, yeah, that's all Photoshop, that's all. I go, all the images that ever are released are based on. How about the ones from before they had Photoshop?

They're like, those are all they did that by hand. You're like, all right, okay. What are you getting out of this? I just don't know what the, what would be the point, who's benefiting? Like why would they lie about the shape? I tried to buy flat out. It was artwork and it was all sold out.

It was sold out. Like one of the prominent flat earth. Artwork people, I was like, shit. Sold out. So good. It's just a shape. Like, who's making money on that? What's the, but what do you get out of it being flat?

That's what I'm trying to figure out. Like, if you're like, all right, it's flat. Now what? I think if you did that, they would go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't do that. Because then you take their font. Yeah, they take their mission. It's the fun. The fun is being combat. That's the fun of like every conspiracy theory.

Is that somebody goes, no. And you're like, I have a secret. Yeah. I think this was actually exciting to conspiracy theorists, is that like, I have information. It's like the same as knowing a secret. I know the truth.

Yeah. You're such a fool that you haven't looked in, and it's exciting. It's exciting. And I get why it's appealing. I just, I can't help but look at the majority of them, even when they're my friends, has just so stupid, just like extraordinarily stupidly. You mean accurately, yeah.

You can't look at what it's like. God, you're so fucking smart for me not to see this accurately. Yeah, I mean, like all these theories are so fucking stupid. When you, you know, if you just, because what you do is you bring up one point that disc, and they go, but ignore that. And then you're like, well, no. That's the point.

Right. The point is that of, you know, you really think this was a made up moon landing in 69. I wonder what it was. You think everybody that worked on that was in a conspiracy together? Right. And they all kept their mouth shut.

Right. But you know what the funny thing is about Flat Earth is that at least has a motive, right? So they say, oh, we wanted to beat the Russians and make it look like we were stronger. So there's at least a motive I can understand, although of moon landing. Of moon landing.

But with the flat earth, you're going, what's the moon? What do we get out of this? What do we get out of it? Well, like, you know, who's, I just know that they're lying to us. Yeah, yeah, who is lying to you? The powers that be, man.

Yeah, yeah. We should do that. Like the whole world should just appease them and go, you're right, it's flat. It's flat and watch them go, wait, don't do that. Hold on, what are we gonna do? Yeah, they're like, no, dude. I don't wanna go back.

I don't wanna go back. I don't wanna go back. If you agree that I'm just a guy who goes to Panera Bread now, I don't have an exciting, I'm not James Bond anymore. Right. Cause now, that's who those guys are. And makes them feel sexy. That's what it does.

It's real sexy. It's sexy to know the truth. Yeah, right? And nobody else does. It's real sexy. It's sexy to know that, like, to know the truth. Yeah, right? And nobody else does. Yeah. Like, what do you do? It's like, I work at, you know, AT&T, that's not sexy, but you're like, what do you do?

You're like, well, actually, I'm the vice president executive on the executive advisory board to the flat out of society. And let me tell you a few things. And it's not just that, just so you know. Yeah. And then, we got a couple other things up our sleeve. Yeah And then you know you get some kooky broad. What are the other big ones? We got flat earth. We got moon landing We got 9 11 as an inside job. We got

9 11 has some weird things as weird things for sure. Yeah, yeah Those are big ones JFK is a big one. Epstein. That's a, that's the latest, most sexy one. He's that everyone's like, the guards left cameras were, you know, just so happened. But I mean, they also leave out the fact that he changes will a couple days before and left everything to his brother. Yeah. Because he knew he was going to be dead. Right. Whether he was going to be him doing it or someone else built in. Yeah. Yeah. Choke him out. But there's people that won't even entertain the idea that he hung himself.

Right. Like, okay. I mean, I understand why it's appealing that he was murdered there, but it's also completely plausible that someone in his position realized it's appealing that he was murdered there, but it's also completely plausible that someone in his position realized it's over. I'm gonna die now. Yes. But the weird thing is he was on Suicide Watch. He was, and they did leave. And they did leave and the camera did,

yeah, just like malfunction. It's sexier to think he was murdered, yeah, that a hitman came in, or you can just go with the truth. He used his magical Jew powers to turn off the camera just by going like that. Off. He made it rain outside, so people were distracted.

Yes. And then he killed himself. Totally true. He did have that high-oid bone break, which you see more commonly in a home aside than a suicide. But it can happen. It can happen. Yeah.

Whatever. Some people believe that research facility at Moscow is mind control lab. Oh yeah, there's like, there's also people that believe that weather is controlled by powers that be. Yeah. That's another one that, yeah. We won't say, we won't say the religion

of the people we're having to have in mind. Yeah. They do a lot of bad things. Yeah, that's another one I'd understand the motive. Like, all right, so what do they get when it rains or sunshine, what's the, what do they get out of it? Yeah, when you get out of it, chemtrails, that's a big one. Big one, chemtrails.

When you just see condensation in the sky because of the temperature up there versus the temperature of what's coming out of a jet. Yeah. Shape shifters, big one. The reptilian people, that's another big one. They believe people in power are reptilian people.

This is one I didn't scroll back at. What is this? The safeguard complex in North Dakota was built during the Cold War, something related to the Illuminati. Okay. That's fun. That's a general vague one. That's kind of vague.

The sightings of Bigfoot is fun. And then the funny thing is you bring up something like Bigfoot and maybe somebody who's into some of these goes, well, yeah, of course this is nonsense. You're like, okay, but again, you're discrediting your people, right? These are yours. There's a giant active volcano under Yellowstone Whim.

If it erupts, it could wipe out the US conspiracists. We'll leave the government knows when the eruption will. Oh, okay. It could wipe out the US. I'm sorry. That's what it's saying that this volcano might. And then why would the government be like, well, do they all leave at the same time?

I mean, do you know how fucking stupid this is? Okay. I wonder how that one came to be. How did that would even catch on? Because that's a boring one. Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, if you're sitting at the conspiracy, imagine you're going there every day

to look at the ball, can you? Yeah, I know something's weird here. Something's happening here. But if you pitch that idea at the round table of conspiracy theorists and they're all going like reptilian people, the earth is flat. You know, they're all this cool stuff. And then you go, hey man, I think there's a volcano

under Yellowstone, you're going like, this dude's lame. That's some believe that Truman Capote wrote Harper Lee's famous novel to Kill a Mockingbird. I've never heard this. Never heard that. They grew up in Alabama where childhood friends. They went on to each become celebrated authors. Capote wrote his crime story in cold blood lead the great American novel to kill a mockingbird.

When Capote went on to write numerous books, Lee published only one other book in her lifetime leading some to believe that Capote. I mean, why that's the theory just that he wrote a bunch of books and she didn't. No, the bored one. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, there's the, what's the guy who wrote, what's the one that we all read in high school? JD Saliger, Catcher in the Rye. He wrote that in like one other book too.

That was it. Yeah, but usually if you write a book that becomes absolutely iconic and they don't necessarily write many. They're weird fucks that write these books. Yeah, yeah, you know, weird minds. Yeah. And then also they're like, hey, this book will never stop selling in your lifetime.

You're like, all right. Yeah, I'm good on one. Yeah. Some people just need one hit. That's it. I watched that Salinger documentary about how he actually wrote more and it was unreleased. And then at the end, they're like,

it will be released. And then of course,, they're like, it will be released. And then of course, I don't think we've seen anything. Right. So by the way, you know, I think we should actually publicly execute these. That was a hard turn left. It is, but I was thinking of great works. Yeah.

Are these environmentalists who their form of protest is to defame like masterpieces of art? And they threw tomato juice on a monee or a van Gogh. And then somebody else just did it for another one. They went to another museum, go up to some fucking masterpiece and glue their dick to it or whatever, and they're like, we need to protect the earth.

And this is your way of doing it. It is, I mean, I literally think they should put a bullet in your head. This is, look at this shit. You fucking piece of shit. I think all it does is make people who are on their side go, let's just let the planet boil just despite you. You fucking scumbag.

You know what they should do is they shouldn't kill you, but they should like break your arms and legs. You know, like do like some real Saudi shit, or like they just humiliate you, sever your limbs or something. It's really dumb-fear-ating. You dumb fuck. It is so, I mean, that's how you get your...

And I realize that what they're... Somebody watching this will go, well, you're doing exactly what they want. You're talking about them and bringing up their cause, but it's like you have to have another way than defacing and destroying like masterpieces of art to make your point about climate. There's no other way that you can do this than by,

it's, you're turning people off. You're actively turning people on them, I mean, it's just, they're pricks. I agree, they should be executed. We need it, do we need a little bit of a purge? To look at that gathering right there, was just people watching them get executed? Yeah.

I'd pay for sweets, like if there was like a sweet, and I even watched this with food and, yeah, drink. If somebody put it on their Patreon, I would join. Would you like to get catered while you watch them die with? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, it's just ridiculous.

It's absolutely, it's self-defeating is what it is. Oh yeah, that one right there, that's in Spain on the far right there. That looks like it's at the Reyna Sofia. If I tell me if I'm wrong. The one that you highlighted, yeah. Why activists are... I'd love to see more celebrity. This is Australia. I don't know what the fuck is that. Those two guys are still doing shit.

Celebrity IOU, huh? Two activists. Well, it's Pablo Picasso's massacre in Korea. So it was in Australia, but yeah, it's Spanish art. Climate chaos equals war and famine. Is there a banner that they put up? They highlighted the connection between climate breakdowns and human suffering. Now you go on, you go on, going to get a destroy masterpiece to do this. I mean, so I don't know if that's the most salient

thing about climate change. I mean, I think people were mass-scoring people before they knew that the climate was off. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think that's what causes it. I mean, where can we give these guys an idea? What else could they do that doesn't have to destroy

some of the greatest works of art? Kick CEOs in the nuts. Yeah, in public. In public. Yeah. Yeah, I'd record it. Yeah. And yeah, that'll bring attention.

Right. What do people love porn? Sure. Number one, always. So do a porn. Do a porn and talk about climate change during it. Do a blow bang and everyone that switches out, you go, the earth is being destroyed. Do you think there's anything to the conspiracy theory that maybe some

of these, some of the Mickey Mouse stars that were in the Mickey Mouse Club were made by the government? Like, you ever notice they don't have parents, like, where's the parent? There's no interviews with Justin Timberlake's parents. Yeah, you know, it's always a little weird. Kristi Nagy-Larrow, who's, I never see her parents. By the way, how about that voice? I feel like it's not talked about how,

it's incredible. Incredible that voice has been. And that's what makes me suspicious. Yeah. She's like four foot seven. Yeah. But she's got a voice like. Yeah. She's like four foot seven. Yeah. But she's got a voice like a 400 pound of wreath of Franklin.

Like a black woman, like an older, fatter black woman. Yeah. How did you get an old black fat voice? It's gotta be in a lab, dude. Maybe a Petri dish or whatever. They make her, like they can do that now. Yeah, her voice is completely,

that's one of those things you realize when a voice is put into it. Like somebody put that in. Somebody put that in. Even some of the athletes, like Shaquille O'Neal, no father, you know, fills my father. You know, you're like, who's the real father? And he's going like, we got to say, it's government.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. LeBron James. You know, I'm 71330, you know? And run like that. Yeah. LeBron James, 6'8", size of Carmelone.

Yeah. With that agility. That's 38. Yeah. Makes no sense. And no dad. So you know what I'm like. I, with that agility. 38. Yeah. Makes no sense. No dad. See, I can buy that. Oh, you mean the CIA? Yeah, the CIA is my guy. Yeah. Yeah. That one, you're like, hmm, that's

interesting. That's a can do that. So I would get behind this theory 100%. Yeah, you might have just unlocked something in me. Yeah, there we go. I'm going to start talking. I'm be like, Oh, you mean when LeBron's dad, the CIA director, made him and Langley fucking 38 years ago? Yeah, please. It's a good word. It's a good one. It's underserved. Nobody's talking about it. Yeah, you're right. And there is, you know, it's suspicious. It is. It's a little suspicious. Ryan Gosling was also in the Mickey Mouse Club. All right. Who's his parents?

And supposedly is Canadian, but then all of a sudden he's here. What are you doing here, man? Yeah, like what's going on? Yeah. How'd you show up here? They overlooked all the American kids and they just plucked one.

Some of these athletes, too, like yours, like those guys, you're like, I've never seen anybody like you in 43 years walking around. Yeah. The fuck is that all about? Yalming? Please CCP didn't make him? 72 Chinese guy. Yeah. That doesn't exist. No. Yeah. I've seen a lot of Chinese guys. I haven't seen anybody Chinese with Down syndrome either. That's kind of interesting. Where'd they go? See a bunch of white kids with their tongues out, but I don't see a lot of fucking

Asians like that. Never seen it. Nope, interesting. Now we're touching on some ones that have a little bit more weight than is there a volcano under Yellowstone? Yeah, that was so fucking boring. Yeah, that's... You gotta get into it. It's gotta be something going on like that. They can clone people.

Now, yeah, you can, you can do it. You can pay 25 grand to get your pet cloned. You know that? Yeah. It's not that crazy. You could be like, I love this dog. And I know he's gonna die. And they'll get one another one, just like him.

Okay, 25 grand. It's not that much. It's like choosing, do you want this fucking Ford focus or do you want another dog? Yeah. You want Scruffy back? Especially if you can put a down payment and then pay it off.

Yeah. Yeah, pay the new, same dog off. Yeah. Will it come back like Koo Jo or like pet cemetery? Probably, it's not gonna be the same personality. It's gotta be evil. You gotta get them while the older ones do a lot. You're like, start teaching yours.

Act like him, right? Yeah. That would be creepy, right? If they just gave you a Tom Segura to raise. Fuck. Yeah, dude, that would be weird. He would not, man. If they're like here, they gave it to you

and think that's you as a kid and it's you. And it's just looking. You guys would look at you and try to trip outpped out yeah and the thing is he'd be so different yeah he wouldn't be wouldn't go through any of anything that I went through right I would so not like him every day I'd be like I fucking hate you man it'd probably be a better person That's a big conspiracy that we didn't talk about. No, you're right. Yeah, COVID. Yeah.

Was it created? I mean, there's a lot of evidence that points to the fact that this escaped from a lab. I mean, I think that's a big conspiracy. I mean, I think that's a big conspiracy. I think that's a big conspiracy. I think that's a big conspiracy. I think that's a big conspiracy. I think that's a big conspiracy.

I think that's a big conspiracy. I think that's a big conspiracy. I think that's a big conspiracy. I think that's a big conspiracy. I think that Was it created? I mean, there's a lot of evidence that points to the fact that this escaped from a lab, right? I think it's pretty, and they would ridicule you, especially initially, and they made it, they associated the discussion of the possibility as flat out racism, xenophobia, like you are being hateful towards the Chinese people for even discussing this. And then as time went on, they're like, well, this was generated in this lab.

Yeah. Whether or not it was willfully released is what the discussion is. Right. Yeah. I think the Chinese are capable of horrific things. Oh, you know, just like they're just absolutely down. So fine, wipe us out. They're not fans.

They're not fans at all. They're not fans. And Fennel, it was originally from China. Let's be honest here, the Chinese are going to be the downfall of America. They're coming. They're coming. They're coming of America. They're coming. They're coming for us.

They're coming for us. They're coming for us. They're coming for us. Yeah. They own the real estate. We're Jordan on the Wizards right now in their Kobe. Oh yeah. It's their time.

It's their time now. Yeah. And you just gotta let it happen. Well, this empire is ready to fall. Yeah, we are. I mean, you see what some of these candidates look like. You're like, oh, yeah, we're done. Jesus.

That guy's got a stroke and that guy's a fake doctor from television. And that's one of those. That's supposed to be our best and brightest. That's it. And then you got like, Marjorie Taylor Green, it's really wild. Hershel Walker.

Hershel Walker. They have a fucking runoff now. Yeah. Did you see the stats on who voted for who? It's so crazy. I think it's all white guys went for Hershel Walker. Yeah. Like 89% of eligible Georgia white voters on who voted for who? It's so crazy. I think it's all white guys went for her to walk her. Yeah, like 89% of eligible Georgia white voters were like,

Herschel. Yeah. And then like 92% of black voters in Georgia voted for, was it were, what is it? Were like, were like, wereic? What is his name? That's the problem, sorry. Because that other guys together,

so I don't know his name. What is it? War knock. War knock, sorry, war name. What is it? War knock. War knock, sorry. War knock. So black voters chose War Knock, white voters chose Walker. And they literally were like, great running back. Yeah.

Uh, I'm a dog. He's a dog with dogs for life. Guy can't string together. Can't put together. Fucking Pete. My youngest is in together. Can't put together something. Fucking Pete. My youngest is in PK pre-Kindregard speaks more coherently than Herschel Walker. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I swear to God, if you gave them something to say, I'd be like, well, I understand Julian. Like, yeah, I mean, like, I mean, the kid was just punting babies off of cliffs. I mean, the amount of abortions he had, he was just fucking, but he's also, he's, they match his stats. He's, you like, did he have more rushing yards or he? Abortions. He's, it's not, you can't understand what he's saying.

Yeah. Like I literally have seen clips where I'm like, what is he actually saying here? Yeah, he's not. Yeah, CTE's in there. That was back in the day where they just let CTE happen. The holes in his brain. I mean, you could drive a truck through the,

like they're, he must have just huge gaps in there. We're like, oh yeah, Cortex is not connected to the front, like it's like all, you're like, there's doing fucking parkour in his head. The word's out, he's just like jumping from one thing to the other, none of it makes sense. No. Have you are you familiar with his son? He's like we don't climb a chain. See the trees and it's raining outside. Going back to COVID. Don't let the lips win. You just say. Yeah, they just

go. We're not gonna let the lips win. This is only point. Yeah, part just going to Trump. the lips win. It is his only point. Yeah. Part just going in Trump. Yeah. Are you familiar with his son at all? No. Christian Walker. It's the best. What does he like? So his son is like very hardcore Republican. But really like flamboyantly gay. Awesome. So he's just and now he hates her show.

Like her show came out. That's him? Yeah, when Herschel was like, I'm pro-life, and then the lady's like, we're like, hey, well, what about the 10 abortions you paid for? And then he finally came out, and he was like, okay, I've had enough.

He's like, daddy, you were a shit dad. You know, family values, you were never home. My mother was one of 100 women, and he's just like, it's really funny. But he, it's funny because he's so liberal, but his talking points are so conservative that it's just fun to watch that. That's hilarious. Just like to hear the right wing talking, talking points out of the most left wing voice. He's just up to me.

I mean, because he have, who knows, dude, him and Sean Camp, who knows. Okay. Let's see he has that one stealing one listed huh the other ones he aborted that's true okay children he married us they have a son Christian, social media influencer. Okay. September, okay. Abortion allegations. I never asked anyone to get a board, I never paid for an abortion he said. I gave money to people all the time because I'm always helping people.

That's fucking, that's when you're really into politics. You become a politician when you've started spinning it that way. She had another child with Walker at years after the despite Walker saying that it was not a convenient time for him to have a child. A sentiment he also raised prior to the abortion. Yeah. I'm not saying she did or didn't have an abortion. I'm saying I don't know anything about that.

Okay. He acknowledged the possibility of giving his accuser a get-well card and a check for other reasons. God damn, that's the best part. He said to get-well card. He said to get-well card. After the abortion? Yeah.

And she's saying that was for the abortion. Right. Hope you feel better. Here's 600 bucks. Here's your bucks. I wish. Well, yeah. He has spoken probably about being diagnosed with disassociative identity disorder. What the fuck is that? He dissociates. What is that? What is that disorder? I mean, this is what we're rolling out for Senate now, man. For the Senate. For the Senate, yeah.

Previously known as multiple personality disorder. Characterized was the presence of at least two distinct and relatively enduring personality states. Does one of them speak English from this guy? Holy memory gaps. Yeah, that's that adds up. Holy shit, he's a fucking mess, dude He's the the fact that that guy could be can you imagine when he takes the floor at the US Senate?

And then they're just gonna be like this really has just completely Completely collapsed. It's a parody at this point. Yeah, it's like it's you It's hard to do comedy now because you it's you can't add comedy to comedy. It's already funny. If someone was pitched, this would be a sketch. What a partial walker. Right, like shit. It was funnier when the sensible smart person is in charge, because then you get to ridicule.

But when like, that was always the thing about, people like, do you do Trump stuff? I was like, no, because like, every day this is nonsense. You know, he was saying why, you know, he was always, whether you like him or don't like him, you admit that you're like, he's saying wild shit. You can't, what are you gonna add to that? Like, he's making crazy claims and, you know, saying like, you know, what if we inject you

with intraviolet UV light for, like, he's, what if we inject you with intraviolet UV light for like, he's just saying crazy shit all the time. Like, what's the comedy? The comedy's already there. Yeah. He called Nancy Pelosi the last speech he gave he called her an animal. You're like, you can't.

Yeah, dude. What am I gonna add to that? Yeah. Her husband just got hammered. Yeah. Yeah, he wasn't driving, but he got hammered. He did get hammered. He did. This time time not behind the wheel.

He was like, when he was running, he was like, Ted Cruz's wife, this dog. Yeah. He's like, shit that you're like, oh, this is, this guy's career's over and they're like, no, no. And then Ted Cruz was like, I like him. Yeah, that was I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, everything just keeps going. It just, it never stopped. It really was that he shined on McCain and he was like, I like guys that weren't captured. That's wild. Yeah, I remember that. That you, you shined on a POW.

And everybody was like, you can't, and then they were like moving on. Yeah. I feel like everybody else that would've been just like the end of their, especially in America, where you're like, John McCain was captured and tortured for like, and also had the opportunity to come back before other POWs and he refused. He was offered that because his father was an admiral. And he refused. He's like, now I'll stay a prisoner of war. And Trump was like, this guy's a fucking loser.

Yeah, yeah. And everybody was like, no, no, no, and then he got through that, too. Yeah, through it. That's crazy. It is. He's, I don't know what to, I think maybe it's because he says so many wild things. It is.

You don't know where to pin him down. But it also was one of those times where you could point to like, this is a true piece of shit comment. And if you're posturing as an American patriot, you're lying. If you continue to say that this is a good guy, you support, you're lying. And you should be called out for it.

And people were like, nah, nah, yeah, a lot of people say crazy things. They just, all this, what it. And people were like, no, no, no. Yeah, a lot of people say crazy things. They just, all this, what about is, what about, what, what, what, he's like clear as day, like sat there and was like, guy got captured, it's fucking loser. You're like, we're gonna just roll with that. You're right.

You're right, that would be the one in America you think would take him down. Did it, and the troops was like sacred. Troops here? And the shit on that. Especially to like the red base. Like you don't fucking fuck with the troops. Yeah.

So you saw him like a genuine hero. Yeah. He was like, fuck him. Yeah. I don't like him. Why do you get captured? Yeah. What?

Only losers get captured. So crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, crazy. It lets you know that it was a little weird how he, it was kind of, he kind of became a cult leader a little bit. Like people didn't care what he said. At all. It was just they followed him no matter what.

And their thing was I like that he says, fuck you. Yeah. Like, all right, all right. And what do you think will happen leading into next year now, like as the campaigns will ramp up? I think he's done. I think he's done too. I think he's done.

I think people that don't see that way are they're not seeing the whole picture. Because I think, he'll never lose the hardcore, hardcore, Trumpers, right? But there are people who are like, well, this is working. Like we're staying in power because of this guy. But they always saw like all the baggage that comes with him that are like, oh no, we need to like just leave the, and I think

that he won't be able to gather the same type of support again. No, I think the midterms was a big blow for him because like all except for one or two of his like hardcore election denying endorsed by him candidates, all those gubernatorial candidates, all the governor candidates, they all lost. So I think and there was no red wave. And I think even the GOP knows, like, all right, people are rejecting the extremism of him.

They're kind of tired of him. It's kind of gotten old now. I think people are, I think he's done. I think they're on the, the red is on the desantis right now. Oh, yeah. Because they realize, too, you know, he stands for what they believe. It's fine. Like, get behind a candidate that you believe in. I don't have any problem with it.

And he doesn't come with, even though he's got his own type of brush, he doesn't come with the baggage of this cult of personality type who's like, you know, I'm so vindictive, I keep names of anyone that's ever insulted me and I'm gonna shit on and everyone. Like the whole baggage of a guy that's so like not ready for that, like he's never was ready for that job. So you need somebody who's just a little more, not a little more, a lot more sane and polished.

And even if you disagree with all of the DeSantis policies, I think you're getting at least somebody that knows how to fucking act. Know that act, know that a talk won't, you know, won't shit on every one all the time. You'll stand for what he stands for and you'll hate it or love it. Yeah.

But he's not like a walking, talking bag of diarrhea. Like just like the worst human being that's still, and who never hit it. That was always the craziest thing that's so transparent. Yeah, I like this guy. Yeah, yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah.

I always imagine what it would be like for the people who supported him, like the women who supported him. Yeah. Cause they always just kind of rationalize whatever he did. Like if he was grabbing them, I'd grab them by the push, and they're like, it's just locker room talk. And then their husbands come home,

like cheating on them, fucking hookers on their side. But they still have to like rationalize that they don't jump to like that. It's just what boys do. Guys do that. Yeah. And you know,

so they probably just got tired of doing that. Like people are just kind of like, oh, his, I can't keep pretending like this is okay. This is something was like, I like people who like me. Yeah. What? What are you talking about, man? You're the president of the United States.

He's like, Kim Jong-un likes me, I like him. I like him. If you're a fan of me, he's got good taste. He's like, this guy's out of his mind He's out of his mind and a megal media. How do you not see that? How do you not see it? I have people like friends of mine who are like really like that guy. I'm like, what do you like? I don't know. Yeah cool. Yeah Well, you know, he's entertaining. He's rich. That's what other than when people go he's rich

You're like that's what you like yeah, and the media loves him. Even when they hate him, they love them. Well, he's great. And I think he, part of that popularity is because of the trolling and he's a car crash and everyone slows down for a car crash. And people I think impart liked him for the same reason. We couldn't think of the other guy's name who Herschel Walker was running against.

Right, exactly. You're totally right. And I think it's also, you know, the fucked up thing was like, we, like if you can really strip away all the qualities, a really fueled divide. Like he's incapable of actual unifying, like there's some leaders go like, I'll put this aside, I won't do this,

I won't say this, I really want to, and I don't think he has an ounce of that in him and is completely incapable of ever bringing people together, which ultimately at some point, you need a president that at least has the capacity to attempt to do that, completely incapable. Yeah. There's no way he would ever bring any group of people together.

What he brings together are the people that are just like him and celebrate. And also the fucking side show of having an active president do events, like arena event, as you're like, I'm gonna be in Montana tonight. She's doing a gig. What? Go back to DC, bro.

Right. And he's just sitting there like giving speeches like, what the fuck are you doing? He's a performer. Yeah. He's a performer. The media Hollywood they made him. That's the irony of it.

Yeah. They hate him, but they made him. They really did make him. We're having a rally today. Why? Yeah. Why? You're already in.

You're in. You're in. You're in. Like he likes it. He feels good. Yeah. He's good people cheer. Yeah.

He went too far. He bit off more and he can show you miscalculated. Also, when he attacked the Santa's, I think the Republicans turned it. Because he told the Santa's, he's like, he better stay, he threatened him. Yeah. He put it out there, he's so wild. He goes like, if it wouldn't be good for him,

if he runs. He's gonna run. Yeah, he's gonna beat you too. I know some stuff, he was like blackberry, he was like, I know some stuff. Yeah. That would be bad to get out there. He's gonna run. Yeah, he's gonna beat you too. I know some stuff. He was like, blackberry, he's like, I know some stuff. Yeah. That would be bad to get out there. He's gonna lose.

And he's gonna once again claim, even in this case, that it's fraud. Yeah. Yeah. He's just a wrecking ball. Yeah. He's like a hurricane. That will be fun to watch though.

I'll admit that will be fun. That will be between him and DeSantis. Oh yeah. And it will be fun to watch him, not just lose, but go like, all fake, all these votes are wrong. The Sanuses is a piece of shit. Yeah. I fucked his wife. I fucked you. You know, you'll say some crazy shit. Yeah. Yeah. He is shameless of what he'll say. He'll go anywhere. Anywhere. Yeah. He'll go anywhere. He started with the Obama's a Muslim thing. That's how he got it in the game.

Yeah. That's what got him in the game. Versa, he was the birth, he was the, he was going around hawking it on all the talk, and they had him on and everyone was fucking talking about his ties, he was on Letterman and, and he was hawking that, he was like, he was currently hawking that. And then when I think it was when he became the candidate, they were like, will you?

And he's like, all right, it's real. It's a, I guess it's real. That was the most he would give them. Yeah. Like, could you stop pushing this narrative? I mean, I looked into it. I don't know what to tell you. I don't know what to say.

Guys, got a weird fucking name, but we begin with. But yeah, that should have been a red flag when he was hawking that and just hawking that. And you're like, what's the details? You're like, it's real. I'm saying it. Look at his name. Look at his name. Who's saying it the details? You're like, it's real. I'm saying it, look at his name. Look at his name, who's saying it's real.

It's real. It's Dyson Kenya, Da Boernet, you know? Like his mom's from Kansas, don't focus on that. He's a Muslim. He's a Muslim. He just whacked. Yeah, it's a bunch of things we don't like. We should, like you just gotta know,

it's gonna keep going. Like with Kanye when he goes slavery to church, you're like, that's not all he's gonna have to say. Those more coming down the barrel. Yeah. Except we made one of those guys, the president. The press, yeah. Kanye's not gonna stop either.

He's gonna keep going. Yeah. He's gonna, do you remember that time that Kanye went to the White House? And he sat with Trump and the whole press court was there. And Kanye just had like a bipolar manic rant. And he was saying, wow, and then Trump just sat there and watched and he was like, wow.

He was like, guys, guys great. You believe this guy? Such a cool guy. Yeah, he likes me. I like him. I like him. Yeah, I like him. He likes me. That's the criteria. like him. Yeah, I like him. He likes me. That's the criteria. That's how it goes.

Jesus Christ. It's become a real, it's a circus man. It's a real circus. Yeah. The Dr. Oz, Federman Rano is like, what is going on? I guess this is what happens with like, when you, you know, a lot of people don't, maybe don't know how successful you become

when you have a daytime talk show like his. Like he has hundreds of millions of dollars. And the only thing I can think is that maybe at that level, you just get bored doing that. Like, hey, guess what? Your show's still on. You made $76 million this year. He's just like, I did it the last 20 years. Yeah. Yeah. I guess that's why you know, he goes, I want to be

governor. Yeah. Because he's really eyeballing something else, you know, it's like, I don't know why the fuck he would want to get into that other than the fact that they're bored. That's the only thing that makes sense. Because you don't need so much better. No, you don't need money. And you're not going to make need money and you're not gonna make more money You're gonna make less money. Yeah, you can but like having real power is like guess What makes your dick hard at that point? You're like I can buy everything but now I need the power the power another Aphrodisiac another Yeah, Alixir. Yeah, it's got to be it

That's the only reason because the the reason why people do get in is to get rich. Yeah, Elixir, yeah. It's gotta be it. That's the only reason, because the reason why people do get in is to get rich. Yeah, like they post. Yeah, post. Yeah, yeah. That's always funny, right? You see their salary and you're like, hey, where did 300 mil come from?

Oh my God, Clintons. Did you sign with the Lakers when you were in office? The Clintons have made, and the Bush, like Nancy Pelosi making oh, yeah I'm in these some of these post presidencies are insane. Yeah, you just get like everybody's just like you want in on this Yeah, also we'd like to give a speech. Yeah, it's 500 grand. Yeah for you to talk about But what it was like to be president. Yeah, okay. Yeah, when I was president It was pretty wild.

Yeah, like it's fucking, that's you get 500 grand for that shit. Big time. They do a series, write a book, here's $15 million advance. And they're not giving you that money to Curry favor. They're doing it because they really want you what you have to say.

When you hear what he'll, you know, we got to regulate Wall Street and then you look at her tour schedule. She's like, Bear Stearns, JP Morgan. Yeah, you're going, that's weird. Yeah. Yeah. Now, that's a fun one, by the way.

When you talk about conspiracy theories, the most fun one, I think, is the Clinton family stuff. Like, and because there's a lot of, there are, it's like six degrees of separation, but six degrees of death with Hillary Clinton. Yeah. So many people that are like associated, former employees, colleagues employees colleagues are like,

dead, dead, dead. Yeah. Then what is it? Clinton rode Epstein's plane, like, I don't know, half a dozen times or more. I think he was, the pilot of it at one point. Yeah. He was driving it.

He was always on that thing. He was fucking on that thing, dude. I was like asking about Epstein. He was like, yeah. I mean, he was like a gold vineyard. We're talking about money. Yeah, that's it. He was like a gold medallion, like frequent flyer.

Frequent flyer. He had a lot of miles on that plane. What'd you do when you got to that island? I was like, we golfed. The beach, it's the beach. We just went island, yeah. Great. Golf.

Yeah. We golfed on that tiny little secret island. The amount of people that have died that were close to them. It is, it's like a, have you look up Clinton body count? Yeah, it's a little weird. It is a little weird. It's a little weird. It is a fun one I would get into.

It's got his own Wikipedia. Yeah. Oh, it's a discredited conspiracy. They're, excuse me, please, sorry for you. Aledged victims. There's former finance co-chairman, Victor Razer, Mary Mulhan, White House intern, didn't want to suck it dead. Vince Foster, of course.

Of course he was a big one. Big one, that was your White House council. Found dead in Fort Marcy Park in Virginia outside Washington autopsy term he was shot in the mouth His death was ruled as suicide by five official Investigations where remains the subject of conspiracy theories for knowing too much about the Clintons Seth Rich everybody knows Seth Rich Unsolved murder still Jeffrey Epstein everybody knows Seth Rich, unsolved murder, still Jeffrey Epstein. We talked about him. Christopher Sin, wrote the news of a meeting. Oh man, this was this was huge and was thought to greatly sway

the election in 16. This is when Clinton met with then attorney general, Loretta Lynch. when Clinton met with then attorney general, Loretta Lynch. And it was like, it was so, it was like, we're on the tarmac. Hey, why don't you like pull that plane back up for a second? I wanna have a quick chat. Yeah. And sign was found dead in his Alabama home.

His death wasn't being investigated as a suicide. A lot of, it just happened to get depressed. Right, I think we got depressed, man. Jovenau, Moise, Haitian president was assassinated when gunman attacked his residents. Why is that? Some theorist complained that Clintons were involved in his death pointing to political controversies regarding given aid to Haiti by the Clinton foundation. And then there are others, Jim McDougal, JFK Jr. JFK Jr. was a big one because she was gonna run for Senate,

she was running for Senate, and he was gonna run for Senate. He would have clearly won. Okay, you know, she came to New York, she's not from, she put a baseball cap on and she's like running here. Why don't you rewire his plane, his assessment real quick, but for you to take this flight.

Edward Eugene Wiley, wife, alleged on 60 minutes that Clinton sexually assaulted her, dead, Ron Brown served the secretary at commerce, prior to his, better though he and 34 others died in a massive plane crash. Jerry Parks, Jesus, Mark Middleton, there's a lot of people. He was headed security.

I have some guy here, sent an email to fucking Clinton, he's dead. That's a lot of people, dude. Wait, but this one is weird, right? Jerry Parks, he's headed security for the Clinton headquarters during the campaign. He was killed as he left a Mexican restaurant, the edge of Little Rock Market saw, by a man and another car that shot him 10 times using a nine millimeter gun.

Like what, for what? Yeah, that's a lot. They're really unloading on something. Yeah, that's really. Parks and Gary asserted that his father collected a secret file of Clinton's, what is that? Pecadillos. Pecadillos,ed that his father collected a secret file of Clintons. What is that? Packadillos. Packadillos.

And then his father was using the file to try to blackmail the Clinton campaign. Well, that works. That works. Yeah, that works. Otherwise, like, why would a guy just roll up and shoot him 10 times? I shot 10 from my night. Okay. Yeah, man, you got it.

10 is fucking really unloading. I like how people those start to like attribute other deaths that were clearly worth. I like here's other people that Anthony Bourdain, Kobe. Yeah. Fuck man, what? Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Some bus driver named Sal.

They just throw anything in there. Queen Elizabeth. She was like, Clinton, try to fuck me. It is weird. It's a little weird, a little weird. It is a fun one. It's a fun one. And I wouldn't mind if you guys take it for a spin kind of livin' it up a little bit. Yeah. I'll start talking about it. Well, Jesus. Dude, thank you for coming. Always fun to have you here, man. Thanks. If I get killed after this or you, we know who you could be. Hey, Bill, what did you do to Yonis? Thanks for having me, man.

That's a lot of fun. Always fun. Always fun. Make sure to check out your podcast every, what day is it? Every Saturday, long days with Yonis. My tour dates, YonisPapasCommony.com. Tons of dates up there, please go check them out. And you have the Patreon too.

Patreon.com slash YawningLong Days. There you go. We'll see you guys soon. Thanks buddy. Thank you. Bert. Tom and Bert. One goes top and swath the other.

Where's the shirt? Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep the clean Here's what we call, two bears one cave No scripts of bed of booze amateur, for topology Dirty jokes, ranchy humor, no apologies Here's what we call, two bears one cave.