32 Thoughts: The Podcast - This is Luke Prokop’s podcast

Episode Date: July 19, 2021

Luke Prokop, Calgary Hitmen defencemen and Nashville Predators prospect. Hi everyone. While the past year and a half has been crazy, it has also given me the chance to find my true self. I am no longer scared to hide who I am. Today I am proud to publicly tell everyone that I am gay. […]

My name's Luke Prokop. I'm 19 years old. I live in Edmonton, Alberta. I play for the Calgary Hitmen in the Western Hockey League and I was drafted by the Nashville Predators in the NHL. And here's my story. Today's edition of 31 Thoughts the Podcast is ours by name only. This podcast is Luke Prokop's. We hand it over to him and his story. Luke, if you don't know, is a 6'4", 215-pound defenseman for the Calgary Hitmen of the Western Hockey League. He was the seventh overall pick in that league, and in 2020, the Nashville Predators selected him in the third round of the NHL draft. Last December, they signed him

to a three-year entry-level contract. On Monday, on his social media, he announced he is gay. Before he made his announcement, he joined us to talk about his decision, his life, and hockey. We wanted to introduce a couple of people Luke discusses. His sister Alana is five years older. His brother Josh, two years older, is also his teammate, captain of the Calgary Hitmen. And we'd like to say we are enormously honored that Luke would be comfortable enough to discuss this with us. It is very meaningful. This is his story to

tell, and we try to stay out of the way. He's a person of resolve, strength, courage, and imagination. And this is his podcast, Luke Prokop. Luke, first of all, thank you so much for joining us today on 31 Thoughts, the podcast. And as we've talked about before on this show, everybody listening, everybody involved in this program, everybody goes through journeys of self-discovery throughout their life. And I just want to start this by congratulating you on your journey of self-discovery that has brought you to this moment today. How do you feel now? I feel amazing. I kind of started this process back in June of last year when I started telling most of my family and friends and just being able to finally come to terms with being okay with who I am and living my true self. This past year has been crazy with COVID and all,

but it's been amazing just to kind of go through this journey and be myself. Who was the first person you told? It was my sister. And if you were to ask me that, you know, three or four years ago, that would, I probably would have laughed in your face because me and my sister were not close at all. And when we came back from Calgary, me and my brother, when COVID hit and our season got canceled, me and my sister just created this really cool bond. And, you know, those first,

you know, four or five, six weeks when we couldn't really do anything, we were kind of inseparable, always doing stuff together, hanging out in the house, playing board games, just stuff like that. She was the first person I told, and that was probably around in April. And we had this really cool bond that we gathered over COVID and you know she's always been there for me when I've had questions or when I haven't been feeling you know as good about myself than I should and it's been really cool to create that bond with her and see how much support she has for me. One of the reasons I want to ask about this Luke is you're 19 now and there's going to be a lot of teenagers who are going to hear this and they're going to say, Luke did the journey that I'm going to need to do. And they're

going to be very thankful you did this, and they're going to feel emboldened that you did this. So they're going to kind of want to know how you did it so they can understand how they might be able to do it. For sure. For me, I mean, it wasn't like I woke up one day and I was like, oh, I'm going to tell my mom or I'm going to tell my dad or I'm going to tell, you know, all my best friends. It came to me at a time where I just felt really comfortable in that moment. And I was like, okay, you might not get this feeling again for a while. And you'd like to tell it to them rather than having someone else find it out, like from someone else. So when I talked to Alana, I was sitting in my room.

I was watching some sort of movie, just kind of thinking about, you know, what I might say or what I might tell her. And I just said, screw it. So I went upstairs to her room. She was the first person I told. So it was very emotional. You know, I started breaking down her room. She was the first person I told. So it was very emotional. You know, I started breaking down in tears and so did she. And, you know, it just came to that moment where it was like something, something inside of me was like, okay, you need to tell her. And then that's kind of how it was for everyone that I, that I told, you know, with my best

friends. It was just a random day. We were out playing playing spike ball and then we came back to my house we're all kind of gathered around kind of my kitchen counter and again I just had this feeling in the pit of my stomach I was like I'm gonna tell these guys and you know I'm gonna see what the reaction is if it's good if it's not I'm still gonna be happy that I told them so that's how it came for me it might not be the same way for other individuals but that's how it came for me. It might not be the same way for other individuals, but that's how it felt for me. What was the reaction like? I mean, I have not had someone have a bad reaction. It seems like nowadays almost everyone knows someone

who's kind of gone through the coming out process and has a family member or a friend who's gay now. And it was a very emotional topic for my first few times I had spoken about it with my mom, with my sister, with my dad, especially my best friends, because those are the people that, like, if they don't accept it and they don't, you know, support you, it's almost like you wish you hadn't told them just because, you know, they're so important to you in your life.

But, I mean, all the reactions I've gotten have been so supportive. You know, the people I've told have been emotional as well. You know, it's just one part of me. I'm still their best friend. It doesn't change the way they look at me. You know, to some of my teammates I've told, you know, it doesn't change the way they look at me in the locker room, you know, or how we hang out outside of hockey. I'm still Luke. I'm still a hockey player. I'm still their best friend. So all the reactions I have have been amazing. I'm 52 years old, Luke, and I grew up playing hockey in Toronto in an era where, how should I say this? Hockey wouldn't allow someone to come out. It was near impossible.

Just knowing what they would go through and it destroyed lives it destroyed people it destroyed relationships how has hockey been for you and did this sport keep you from being you for what you now understand is probably too long a time i don't think so i mean obviously, you know, the locker room is something that people talk about when this stuff comes up with the banter and some of the actions and stuff like that. Personally, I didn't, I mean, I didn't really feel hatred towards the people that did it. You know, it was almost like those were the people that I wasn't going to tell, you know, early on because I wasn't comfortable with it

because I could see, you know, their actions and I didn't want them to, I didn't want them to know from me just because it just didn't feel comfortable or it didn't feel right with me because of how they were acting or what they were saying. So, I mean, I had only told two of my teammates on Calgary and those guys were, you know, the people that I had trusted, obviously with the biggest secret of my life. And I had known them previously for four or three years

outside of playing with Calgary. So I had known those guys a long time. And I mean, hockey, I don't think so to your point. It was just a process of me being comfortable with it. I mean, even if I don't think so to your point. It was just a process of me being comfortable with it. I mean, even if I didn't play hockey, I still think it would have taken me this long as well. And everyone has a different journey. Everyone has a different path and how young and when they want to come out. If anything, maybe hockey has actually made me want to do it sooner.

anything maybe hockey has actually made me want to do it sooner just because I have seen you know I've seen so much stuff on the internet and going through this whole process I've done a lot of research and you know I think this is something that hockey needs and definitely needs more of and needs you know more awareness towards this topic and you know I wanted to bring attention to it and so I wouldn't say that it was rushed in the sense that this is why i'm doing it but it was obviously a reason um for me to come out for sure so when you went back to calgary this year for the short season your brother josh is on the team we should mention too so obviously he knew captain yes so obviously he knew and did the organization know how many people when you

played this year knew when i was in calgary only my two teammates um knew uh and my brother as well so there was only three guys kind of in the whole organization that had known and then kind of I want to say in the early part of June this year was kind of when I sat down with Jerry Johansson my agent and Phoebe Balsham who's my my media girl now and Jerry and her you know we talked about this process of how we were going to do it and letting a few organizations know beforehand, just so I can get, you know, a little bit of support and they can be prepared as well. They're not kind of thrown to the wolves when I came out publicly with this. So that's what we decided. But there, yeah, there was only in the organization, there was only three people that knew and so obviously you went to

nashville and you know i'm sure that there must be a nervousness i really hope luke that people exceeded your expectations i hope when you you can say that it was better than you hoped or expected the reaction yeah for sure i think that's the biggest good. That's the biggest fear when, uh, when you come out and it's just, is there going to be a bad reaction and who's it going to be from? So there was always in the back of my mind, like when I told my best friends, I for sure thought one of them wasn't going to understand or wasn't going to, you know, want to hang out with me afterwards. And they were all great. I mean, when we had told Nashville, I came off a skate. It was actually a really cool day.

Before my skate, I got a call from Brian Burke, and we talked for a bit just about how proud he was of me and wanted to meet me in person and kind of catch up on what was going on in my life. I had met him before when I was in Calgary going to sign my contract for the WHL. So we talked about that, laughed a little about that because he didn't remember it. And then... Your seventh overall pick. Your seventh overall pick, Luke.

I know. He was actually one of the first people I saw. He was in his office. He had the untied tie around his neck, the slicked back hair. It was very intimidating, actually. But yeah, that same day, I got a call from Nashville while I was on the ice. And then so when I got off the ice, I had a voicemail on my phone, and it was Brian Poyle. David's son had phoned me first. He just wanted to reach out and congratulate me

and tell me how much support I have from the organization. And then he hung up and we made a bigger call with his dad, David. So David was on there. Brian was on there. Scott Nickel of the GM of the Milwaukee Admirals were also on the call. And Rob Scuderi, the defenseman player development coach for Nashville you know it was mostly David talking and he had a lot of you know kind words and making sure that you know he wanted to say the right things and how to approach it when they come out with their

statement it was one of the coolest conversations I've ever had on the phone they just all had words of support and I was driving home from the rink, got off the phone. And I remember I was blasting music at this point. Now I had my sunglasses on. I was like slamming on my steering wheel. I had tears coming from my eyes. It was one of the coolest, coolest feelings I had ever had. And when I imagine myself, you know, doing this publicly on the 19th, I feel like that's going to be the whole feeling the entire day. It's so awesome, Luke, because as Jeff said, you know, we're both in our 50s. And there's a lot of hope that the world is changing for the better, that with social media, like there's good and bad things about social media. And one of the good things I think

about social media is that people understand there's other worlds out there and there's other people and it doesn't necessarily mean that because you're born here you're born there or you grew up believing this or you grew up believing that or someone told you this or someone told you that that people are people and for you to hear from the team that drafted you and the team you hope to play for, that they're still with you, I mean, I can only imagine what that makes you feel inside. Yeah, like I said, I mean, that feeling that I had was something I hadn't felt before.

You know, I had telling my parents, telling my friends, telling, you know, my brother and my sister, that feeling of having Nashville support me was something I hadn't felt before. Honestly, it felt like I could do anything. Like having that support for them, knowing that they still support me and believe in me and just want to treat me as me and as a hockey player. Like they drafted me as a hockey player. They didn't draft me. They didn't know beforehand that I was gay. So they drafted me as me and as a hockey player like they drafted me as a hockey player they didn't draft me they didn't know beforehand that i was gay so they drafted me as a hockey player and to know that

they still believe me even though there's some people in the world that you know don't accept this or you know think it's a choice it was an amazing feeling two questions luke what support do you have like everyone around them has a cradle, essentially. What's your cradle? And two, what support do you need? My cradle is definitely the closest people in my life with my family and my friends, but also like my agent and Phoebe, you know, being able to kind of vent to those people and to bounce ideas off of what I want to do. You know, if I want to, you know, join a non-for-profit or do something, you know, speak more in the community about it, stuff like that. Those are kind of the people that I would talk to about that. And I feel like

I have support from them. And in terms of support I need, I mean, I'm going to have a lot of people support me who I have no clue who they are. Like there's going to be people all around the world who are going to, you know, reach out to me and support me and, you know, thank me for what I'm doing. And so I don't think I need any extra support. It's just going to be so cool to see those people, you know, reach out and, you know, have a tweet or two about me saying thank you and all that kind of stuff. I was wondering, Carl Nassib of the Las Vegas Raiders, he made his announcement a couple of weeks ago. What's up, people? I'm Carl Nassib. I'm at my house here in Westchester, Pennsylvania. Just want to take a quick moment to say that I'm gay. I've been meaning to do this

for a while now, but I finally feel comfortable enough to get it off my chest. I really have the best life. I got the best family, friends, and job a guy could ask for. I'm a pretty private person, so I hope you guys know that I'm really not doing this for attention. I just think that representation and visibility are so important. I actually hope that one day videos like this and the whole coming out process are just not necessary. But until then, I'm going to do my best and do my part to cultivate a culture that's accepting, that's compassionate. And I'm going to start by donating $100,000 to the Trevor Project.

They're an incredible organization. They're the number one suicide prevention service for LGBTQ youth in America. And they're truly doing incredible things. And I'm very excited to be a part of it, to help in any way that I can. And I'm really pumped to see what the future holds. Did that affect your decision at all to go public? No, I had actually met with Jerry and Phoebe. I think it was actually four days prior to when Carl did that.

We had met, you know, we had just met for lunch right before one of our skates that our agency was having. So I had met with him before and discussed what I wanted to do beforehand. But I mean, seeing what Carl did was really cool. And it just allowed me to see kind of what's my message, what I wanted my message to be and how I could display mine you know on Instagram on social media and kind of how to do it so kind of bouncing ideas off of Phoebe and Jerry and stuff like that obviously I wanted to make it my own but he definitely gave me a couple of ideas what do you think the first game back is going to be like for you? I mean, it's, it will be emotional for sure. It'll be my first game being openly public about, you know, my sexuality and me being gay. I mean, it'll probably

be, I'm going to say it probably might be my best game of my career just because I might, I'm going to feel so free and so strong and feel like I can take on the world like that's truly how it felt you know when when I got off the phone with Nashville and I mean I hope that the game is going to go well but I believe I believe it'll probably will be one of my best games in my career you know Luke there's going to be a lot of young people or maybe not even young people but people in general who are going to say that seeing Carl do it and now you do it, it's going to give them strength. It's going to give them positivity that they can follow that path and they can learn to

live the life that they want to live. What advice do you give them? What do you tell them about how to go down that journey? What's the most important thing that you learned that they should know? Just be true to who you are. You can only lie for so long. That's one thing I always, I joke about it with my mom and stuff. Because she was totally shocked.

And I told her. And it was a couple days shocked. And I told her and it was a couple days after. And I told her, I said, it was your genes that made me such a good liar, because I didn't want to have to lie for so long, right? About who I was. And so I've talked with Brock McGillis now for an extended period of time every day. And one of the things he told me was, you know, a lot of people will be reaching out to you. They're not necessarily asking for advice. You know, they read your story.

They learn about how you did it. They kind of want to tell you their story. And so they just want to have a voice and someone that's going to listen to them. And then you can kind of bounce ideas off of them. Because the people that that might be, you know, reaching out to me saying, I want to do this, but I can't right now in this certain situation, they're coming to me because they don't have anyone else to talk to about this kind of thing. So they just want to be heard. And

you know, I'm definitely open to that. Like I'm, open book and I want to be there to help people and give advice and listen as much as I can. You know, I can recall, Luke, the first time one of my friends came out to me and I asked him about, and he was in his early 20s at that point. We both were in our early 20s. And I asked him how he felt about his life up until that point. Because like you, he was talking about, you know, feeling very free. You know, once he had, you know, told his mom, told his dad, told his family, his close

friends, talked a lot about how free he was, he felt. And one thing really hit me hard. And talking to you now, I'm just remembering it. He said to me, the worst thing about growing up feeling that I was lying to myself is I felt like I was always looking for someone who loved me for who I was pretending to be. And that just like, Luke, that just floored me. who loved me for who I was pretending to be. And that just, like, Luke, that just floored me. And I haven't thought about that in years. And I just remembered it now talking to you.

I don't know what it's like to feel like you're living a lie. And it sounds harsh. But is that how it felt to you? For sure. I mean, I wasn't being truthful to me. I wasn't being truthful to my friends, to my family. I mean, I wasn't in the position to tell them at that time. I mean, again, like there's always that worry when you do tell someone is that it's such

a big deal and such, you know, something that they don't want to be around anymore that they, you know, choose to separate themselves from you and your life. But yeah, I mean, I can definitely attest to that.

I felt I was living a lie for, you know, 17 years of my life just because I had this huge, big, dark secret that I wasn't able to tell anyone. And it just got to a point where I said enough's enough and I don't care if someone reacts badly anymore. I don't care if my family doesn't want to support me anymore.

I can't keep lying to myself and I can't be okay with that. I hope I'm right when I say I think you're going to get much, much, much more support than you are going to get negativity. I don't know if you'd be surprised by that, but I hope I'm right when I say that. I really am. I hope you've sensed that so far. Yeah, that's something that I've kind of hoped for and I'm not necessarily sure how big it will get and that doesn't really matter to me as long as long as I can impact you know one person then that's my my job has has been done this is to show people that it's okay to be who you are especially in in sports and in a such a masculine sport like

hockey you can be who you are and it will be fine for you. Because at the end of the day, again, you're a hockey player. You don't make the NHL because of your sexuality. You make the NHL because you're one of the best hockey players in the world. Yes. And, you know, I don't presume to speak for other people, but I think you're going to positively impact a lot more than one person. Luke, one of the things that you did was post a message to Twitter and to Instagram with the message that you wanted to put out there. And one thing I was curious

about was how hard was it? I don't even know if hard is the right word or difficult is the right word to come up with the message that you wanted to put out there? How many times did you write something and erase it? I can only imagine, you know, when I write a blog, I know how hard it is for me. And that's not even the same world as this. So what was the process of finding the right words? Yeah, it was it was difficult for sure. You know, I looked towards Carl and kind of took a look at his message and obviously wanted to kind of get some tips from it, but also make it my own. I had discussed it with, you know, Phoebe and Jerry and bounced ideas off them, but I wanted to make it as personal as I could. in my room thinking about what I wanted to say and not writing anything down. And at the end of the day, I had, you know, the final say in what I wanted my message to be. And I came up with it. And, you know, I was very proud to, you know, have written what I did and think it's a really

good message. And how many times did you write it and delete it, write it and delete it? That's kind of funny because every every time well not every time me and phoebe talk daily yeah and i think we had started talking about you know what my message was and what i wanted to be on i want to say a friday and it wasn't until you know the next friday that i probably got anything to her like i i gave her like, you know, it was a couple sentences when I sent it to her. So there was a lot of a lot of deleting, my thumbs were sore for a week. So that was, that was something I was happy to, you know, kind of get a concrete message down. And I'm very happy with it. So Luke, Jeff always says when you're born and ron mclean always says it too

you should always put a right hand stick in your child's hand oh so you are a right shot defenseman yeah and the nhl cannot get enough of right shot defenseman add 10 to the contract yes so you know what is nashville told you, you're 18 years old. You just turned 18. You're obviously still likely going to be in Calgary with the juniors for a bit. But what has Nashville told you about your future, things they want you to work on? And how do you envision the next few years going? I mean, there's been kind of little discussion.

There's obviously been some. Just because with my COVID season, it was so short in terms of you know we had my team actually got COVID I was injured for a bit but the one thing that they have said is that it's good to be a young player in their organization if you look on their back and they've got some great talents with the OC and Ekholm and Ellis and but I mean those guys are kind of all going towards the end of their prime and they're kind of starting to be not old in the league, but they're still very effective in what they do. They say it's very good to be a young player in their organization right now. You know,

and I couldn't be happier in the spot I've been. I've never been to Nashville. I've heard so many great things about it and, you know, I'm really excited to go. Nashville's great. It's a lot of fun. And they're a good organization, as you said, really good organization. They've done great with defensemen over the years. You're in great shape with them, Luke, I think, absolutely. If they draft a defenseman, I generally think they really see something special there because they've been so good with them over the years.

Yeah, that's one thing that I looked at that was really cool when I got drafted by them. You know, you see Shea Weber, you know, my favorite player. He was, Nashville groomed him. You know, Nashville groomed Ryan Suter, Seth Jones for a bit, Yossi. You know, Subban was there for a little while. Ellis, Akon, there's so many great defensemen that have come in that organization that have proven to be you know staples in the nhl now which was something that was really cool let me end with two questions from

from this corner luke one what do you want people to know about you the player and what do you want people to know about you the person okay me the player um it's like a combine interview all of a sudden. Yeah. I mean, I didn't get one of these, so it's kind of cool. Me the player. I'm a big right-handed shot defenseman. I'm more of a defensive defenseman, and no, that's going to be kind of my role in the NHL.

You know, a PK guy, shot blocker, shut down. I don't think I've been able to show my offense in a little bit just because of the teammates I've had that have been on, you know, NHL contracts and stuff and been older, and they've gotten put ahead of me in certain situations. So I'm really excited for this next year to kind of show my more offensive side of my game because I know I have it. And then me, the person, I'll say I'm actually very shy. If you were to meet me in a group setting, you'd kind of have to make me talk.

You know, you'd have, I'm the type of guy, if I'm not spoken to in a group, then I'm not speaking at all. You know, but I'd say I'm a shy kid. I'm looking to, you know, kind of make a difference in the world, obviously with this. I enjoy just hanging out with my friends. I work, I'm looking to, you know, kind of make a difference in the world, obviously, with this. I enjoy just hanging out with my friends. I work, I'm a bartender right now in Edmonton at our golf course at home. So I enjoy doing that a lot. The one thing I guess I'll say that I'd like to end on too, as well as when I had talked to my friends and my family, my agents about this, they always were just worrying about hockey and how I wanted to do it and how I wanted to, if I was going to come out, if I was going to keep it private. And the one thing I had always told them is that having a career with, you know, three Stanley

Cups and a Norris Trophy and all these records is amazing and something that's, you know, I'm hopeful in wanting to do, but I would rather play one game or two games in the NHL and create a lasting difference or a lasting change, have some sort of impact on the game that goes beyond the ice. So that's something that kind of has been my goal and is kind of one of the main reasons in why I want to come out in hockey. You know what, Luke? That is so powerful.

And it reminds me of something that we say on this podcast all the time. Whenever I talk to young kids, I always say the same thing. No matter where hockey is going to take you, make sure that you use hockey and don't let hockey use you. Your head is very much on its shoulders.

Luke, thanks so much for taking time today. And again, the journey of self-discovery, a wonderful thing. And we're so happy in your words that you're now able to be free and you can really feel it. That makes us and I'm sure everyone listening to this podcast real happy. Congratulations, Luke. Yeah, thanks, Jeff. And thanks, Elliot, for taking the time. The reason I want to do this is to get my story and get my voice out to as many people as possible.

And, you know, you guys do such an excellent job. You guys do what you do for a living for a reason. And so I can think of, you know, two better people than to share my story with. Thank you.