40ish - 40ish Unfiltered

Episode Date: January 28, 2025

🎉 Welcome to the very first episode of 40ish Unfiltered! 🎉 This is the sidekick show to 40ish where we dish on all the juicy feedback from the week's episode. Every Tuesday we will be diving into your comments, emails, DMs, and all the social media buzz about the latest 40ish dilemmas. Want more 40ish in your life? Of course you do! Hit that follow and subscribe button, and let's get this conversation going! We would love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Go to ZOE.com to find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. You can use the exclusive code 40ISH10 to get 10% off membership. As a ZOE member, you’ll get an at-home test kit and personalized nutrition program to help you make smarter food choices that support your gut. Use 40ISH10 at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello everybody. Welcome to 40ish Unfiltered. sponsored by Zoe. Hello everybody. Welcome to 40ish Unfiltered. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishcon. And welcome to the first episode. Well, it's the first episode of the second episode. It is.

This is a complementary show to our podcast 40ish. 40ish Unfiltered brings you all the feedback from the week's show where we will respond to emails, DMs. That's cool and modern isn't it? DMs. No. It is, that's what the kids do. It was cool and modern about 10 years ago. To me it's still cool and modern. You say that but then sometimes you go on these social media rampages. Sometimes. You did it the other night. On YouTube. Well that was surprising. Yeah it surprised me too. Because you're never on YouTube and suddenly my phone's pinging up and getting all these notifications on YouTube and like you're having this whole conversation

with this guy. Yeah I'll tell you yeah basically I got a notification pinged up on my phone I didn't even know that that was a thing but it was and I saw it and I thought, no. What do you mean you didn't know the notification was a thing? Well, I didn't know that we got notifications from YouTube. I didn't even really know the show was up on YouTube, but apparently it is. Oh my God. Anyway, some guy was like trying to mansplain trolling by men to me, the person who was trolled.

But he was also mansplaining how you should react to the trolling, which I thought was fantastic. Yeah, it was brilliant. So I thought, in a sense that is trolling. Yeah. I thought, well, I'm not just going to let that lie. I think I'm going to reply. So I replied really polite and really respectfully. And then he replied. Also, I would say respectfully, it wasn't rude or aggressive, but very, very patronising. Very again, like, well, I understand why you feel that way, but also you're wrong. I was like, well, also like it's kind of my podcast, me being trolled. So actually I'm okay with making a decision about how to handle that.

And thanks so much for your advice. But anyway, welcome to our second show of the week. So we're going to be releasing on a Thursday which is going to be our main show and then the following Monday which is going to be as we said before just feedback, things that are going on with us this week, a little bit more of a deep dive into how it is to be 40-ish while I'm nearly 50. And also what people have been saying on social media about the dilemmas, because if you're not following that chat, then you're missing kind of the responses to the questions.

So 40ish Unfiltered is just an opportunity to get more out of your 40ish listening experience. So please follow and subscribe. Did we have any positivity on social media this week? We had a lot of responses to the dilemma. Do you remember the woman who sent the sexually explicit text to the wrong mark? That was last week. Yeah. Yeah.

So we had a lot of replies about this. Okay. Interesting, interesting ones. Talo32 said, how is she going to tell her husband about this kiss? And I replied and I said, well, she's divorced. There is no husband. Yeah. She's a divorced woman who sent a sexually explicit text to a man called Mark who she

met at a party, but she actually sent it to a school dad. Yeah. The wrong Mark. Also called Mark. I said, well, she's divorced. There is no husband. So not a problem. Sammy Lennon said, why is she

mortified? She was pissed. The message wasn't meant for the school dad. Just explain and don't apologize and move on. I like that. I think that's the most sensible option. Apple Banana 99 said, I agree. The wrong mark would just laugh it off. Well, you don't know. You don't know. You don't. You just don't know how people take to these things. And then this is a weird one, right? This is weird. Omrichi975. If that other Mark tells her husband, she'll be more than embarrassed. So I replied saying, she's... Tells who husband? She's not married. I said she's divorced. There is no husband. If you listen into the podcast episode for the full story, you'll hear that. And then he replied, well, why have the story here? I think she is married. Okay. She says

in her email, I'm divorced, but okay, if you've decided she's married, then okay. That's a stretch, isn't it? I know. To just make up your own story because it's more convenient or it's more scandalous. I've seen the clip and I've decided she's married. Okay. Okay, why doesn't he write in some dilemmas to us? Because I reckon they'd be great. Very weird.

David Wilson said, My mate's wife sent some saucy stuff on our group message by mistake. Now I know why they're happily married and I'm divorced. It was filth. And Larry Luth for 39 said, we've all done it. I'm a carpenter and my mix up was with a customer. Ooh, Larry. Not either customer. That is horrendous. Larry, imagine if you're a carpenterenter, I mean there's so many jokes you can make about tools, drilling, hammering. There's just an endless amount of carpenter punning you

could do there. Well there is, but who thinks of these things? I mean I've never... I would. I can see. What? When you've got a carpenter in your house? The last carpenter I had in my house. I've met your carpenter. I've met your carpenter. God bless him. Your carpenter was on something. Oh, he's not, no, he wasn't the carpenter. The last actual carpenter I had in my house, he's like well into his eighties. So I don't think he's even texting, let alone sending saucy texts.

The guy that built that thing a couple of weeks ago. He's not a carpenter. He's kind of does everything. Does he? Yeah. He does everything. I mean, I think he's smoking everything. He was definitely on something. Like every day I came back to your house and like, hello again. Not got very far then have we? He did a great job in the end. He did eventually. Yes. It wasn't a big job, but it took a while. You got a carpenter? I, um, no, not on speed dial. No. Okay. I don't have a carpenter. All right. Why are you looking like, just checking like I should? No, I'm not saying you should. Something really embarrassing happened to me, which I swore I wasn't going to bring to the show because

it was too embarrassing. You better bring it now. You've said it now. Basically. Um, you know, the window cleaner story. Oh yeah. We all know the window cleaner story. Well, for the people that don't know the windows, it was our very, very first show that we released. There was a dilemma about window cleaner. Yeah. Anyway, it then got into the conversation about my window cleaner because Lauren. Anyway, it then got into the conversation about my window cleaner because Lauren does tend to see my window cleaner. He's a very nice guy, very friendly. Anyway, it was, it was a whole stop. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. So anyway, the window cleaner comes the other week and every time I see him, I'm just mortified

that that he thinks you fancy him because of the podcast. No, no, he doesn't think I fancy him because just that someone might have mentioned that I have spoken about him on the podcast because quite a lot of people from my area, yes, they have him and they messaged me to say, oh my God, Anthony, with like a crying emoji, like I had a few of those messages. Someone stopped me in the gym. I've mentioned this about, Oh, I have Anthony. I know what you need. Like that. Anyway, so Anthony's at the house and he is so friendly and chatty as I've mentioned. He says to me, can I use your Lou? So I said, sure. So he goes into the Lou anyway, he can't, have I told you this? Have I not told you? See, comes out the loo. I can't believe I haven't told you because I was so embarrassed. It comes out the loo.

Oh God, what? It just gone. What did he say? He said, oh, because our awards are in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see, oh, you've got a podcast. My friend Sarah was there, so she could she can back this whole thing up. She was listening to the whole thing. So she said, and before he came, I was telling him the story because he said no. So I told the whole background to the story. So then he goes to the toilet and then he comes out the toilet and he says, Oh, you've got a podcast. I can see you've won an award. What's, what's the podcast about? So you, so that you Anthony. So I said, yeah, I don't know why I said it because that podcast was for self care club where

we haven't mentioned him and I could have just gone. Yeah. You should have just gone tech. It's about tech. It's called self care club. So he said, so I said, I've actually got two podcasts. Why did I say this? I don't know why it's called 40 ish.

Yeah. Like what an idiot. Yeah. Right. So he goes, Oh, what's that about? I said, Oh, it's just about being a middle aged woman. He goes, Oh, I'm definitely going to listen to that. And I'm going to tell my wife to listen to it because, because I've got a big birthday coming up. I see. So I'm all about middle age and you know, and wellbeing and all of this. He goes, I'm definitely going to listen to your show. I'm like, don't start from the beginning.

Yeah, first you answer great. Start in at like episode six. Where you're not mentioned anymore. You idiot. Have I not told you this? Anyway, so he leaves and then he comes back to the door because he's so chatty and then he says to me, I'm going to really listen to that show and I'm going to feed back on what I think. And off he goes, right? And then Sarah, who heard the whole thing, she's like, he has set you up. I'm like, what do you mean? She goes, he knows that you've mentioned him in the show and he was looking for a way to bring it up in conversation. And now you've just fucked yourself. So now what are you going to do? Now what? He's going to come back and

say, oh, you've been talking about me. Yeah. I'm like, well, what do I do? She's like, no, I think it's done. The damage is done. Have you seen him since? No, I have not seen him since. Good. And sometimes if he messages, he messages like 24 hours before and says, Oh, we're going to be coming to your road tomorrow. Yeah. So then I message you and say, we're working at you tomorrow. Hello everybody. If you are enjoying this episode, could we please request that you share it with a friend who you think could do with a laugh? We would be so grateful.

Thank you so much. And also if you're really loving it, please rate and review it. Lauren, you know me and you know when it comes to answering the listeners dilemmas and when it comes to answering the listener's dilemmas and when it comes to food, I always trust my gut. And I also trust Zoe, the leading size and nutrition company. All the nutritionists that we've spoken to on Self Care Club have highlighted just how much misleading information is out there when it comes to food. Things like the claims that you see on packaging that say things like low sugar or nothing artificial.

These are often assigned to actually avoid these foods. Ever noticed a health claim on fresh fruit? No, never. Right, well you get my point. So it's completely understandable why there's so much distrust and wondering who you should turn to for accurate information. Well, it's very simple. It's not a dilemma for us. We use Zoey. Backed by one of the world's largest microbiome databases and most scientifically advanced at-home gut health tests,

Zoey gives you proven science whenever you need it. Go to zoey.com and find out what Zoey membership could do for you. And because you listen to 40ish, you can use the exclusive code 40ish10 at checkout to get 10% off membership. As a Zoe member, you'll get an at-home test kit and personalized nutrition program to help you make smarter food choices that support your gut. That's z-o-e.com. Use code 40ish10 at checkout. Trust your gut. Trust Zoe. What's up Spotify? This is Javi. I remember this one time we were on tour. We didn't have Check out Trust Your Gut, Trust Zoe. TfSA stands for Total Fund Savings Adventure, maybe reach out to TD Direct Investing. I want to go back to our question about the woman who wrote in about her, the new young

colleague at her office who made the most terrible time in her life. She said, I'm going to be a good friend of yours. I want to go back to our question about the woman who wrote in about her, the new young colleague at her office who made the most terrible, terrible cups of tea. There's been a lot of talk about tea. Yeah. And do you put the milk in first? Do you put the tea in first? Didn't a scientist answer? No, he wasn't a scientist, but I have put his reply in here. Okay. Katie 23111 said, you put the milk in last because it's easier to judge the strength of the tea to your liking. Correct. Normal and correct. Yes. Well, it's correct by our perspective, but other people thought

very differently. Carl Hammond said, she definitely needs a training day on making tea. She probably puts the milk in before the cereal as well. Oh, that was brilliant. That was absolutely brilliant. Loved that. I think they're called guys on a pod. He said, I hate to be that guy, but milk first because of science. Dr. Stapley of Loughborough. No, he's saying because I said there's it's scientific that you put it's something about how the hot water reacts with the tea bag and the flavour. So if you put the milk in first, it takes something away from the flavour.

Right. He said, I hate to be that guy, but milk first because of science. Dr. Staples of Loughborough University established that putting the milk in after boiling water is incorrect. It causes the milk to heat unevenly. The uneven heating of the milk causes proteins in its denature meaning they lose their structure. Who guessed? Who wrote this whole thing? And then 10 minutes later he put up another post and it just said, it's not post comment, comment, comment. I feel like such a nerd after posting that. And you wrote, so you should, so you should shame on me. Right. To be honest, I mean, I know we're like poking fun, but we do really love the comments and we do appreciate every single one. So please don't stop just because we're poking fun. It's kind of most of the fun, isn't it? So much. I love I'm here.

It's hilarious. It's actually hilarious. I had someone, one of my daughter's friends say to me, I picked up my daughter and her friends. They're 14 and one of them gets in the car and she goes, Nicole. I said, yeah. She goes, what's a pop sock? Which told me everything I needed to know because we put up a video on TikTok about pop socks versus Veruca socks. Which was worse. Which was worse. Yeah.

And it is just a Veruca sock. I'm sorry, but it is. Oh no, sorry, I said pop sock. I said Veruca sock. Definitely worse. I've changed my mind. Anyway, because I said a Veruca sock had a purpose. A pop sock has no place anywhere. Anyway, because I said a Vorkasoc had a purpose. A Popsoc has no place anywhere. Anyway, so it was just mildly mortifying that the lovely sweet 14 year old,

who's very good friends of my daughter watches our TikToks because a lot of them aren't as bland as Popsoc versus Vorkasoc. As you were saying that I was thinking, is she going to watch this week? So I'm sure that Becca, our social media manager is going to share a clip where I talk about the throbbing cock. She already has. You've said it. No, no, you said it. She already has. Oh, great. Okay. Brilliant. Great. She already has because there is no way that she wasn't going to put that up. I'm just going to gloss over that and pretend it didn't happen. I don't know. But the thing is, is that Lauren said it, she said it very off the cuff. Oh,

she said, I was going to say something really rude there. And I said, well, what were you going to say? She goes, no, I'm not going to say it. I said, no, go on. She goes, I was going to say throbbing cogs. Now let me tell you something. It wasn't in context. Wasn't to do with anything. Not was in context. Not really, loosely. It was about sexually explicit text message. It wasn't. You were talking about asking Oli to get a drain unblocker. Well, yeah.

So it wasn't about sexually explicit. You just threw the words throbbing cock in. I just think it was unnecessary. I won't talk about it. No, no, we've talked about it. When we see each other on a Monday, we never really speak that much over the weekend. Sometimes we don't speak at all. And so we usually have a big fat download on a Monday morning of complaints, yeah, yeah, ranting and just like what's fucked us off over the weekend. I mean, it's really positive, really, you know, really life affirming. It's very therapeutic though. Is it? Yeah. We thought we would bring all of that to you. We thought we'd share it with the wider audience than just each other. You are welcome. Because we figured that if it's annoying

us it's probably annoying you too. Yeah, for sure. So we can all just complain together. How about that for some positivity? But if you want some positivity, head over to Self Care Club. Yeah, yeah, it's not here. Okay, I'm starting. Okay. Okay. So what do you hate this week? The price of cinema popcorn. It cost me more than the ticket. But is it, do you just stop with cinema popcorn or do you go for the drink and the chocolate and the pick and mix? No, no, no, no. I'm not five. I don't have pick and mix. No, no, but when you take your kids, by the way, you don't need to be five to have pick and mix. You can still enjoy sweets and not be five. I'm not so sure. No, no, no, you can.

No, the kids know it's popcorn. It's popcorn. End of. Because seriously, like 4.99 for a bag of Maltesers go jump in a lake. I know. And you could take your own stuff. I mean, I've, I have started to take my own snacks to the cinema because it's just ridiculous. You spend 30 quid on snacks. Right. But I, but I don't want to take my own popcorn. I want the warm popcorn in the paper bucket. I know. But the other day I saw them like refilling the popcorn. Yeah. Probably a few months ago. And he was doing it with his hands. He was like shifting out of the massive, massive bag with his hand. And I

just thought, I don't know how clean your hand is. It kind of put me off the popcorn. You can't think like that because you'd never eaten a restaurant for the rest of your life. I saw it with my own eyes. Okay. Well, it fucks me off. So that's the first thing that fucked me off this week. Oh, okay. When did you go to the cinema? I went on Tuesday. Okay. Oh, so it's fucked you off for a full six days because we're recording this on Monday. I don't go home with the thought of it, but just when I think about it, it annoys me. And the next time I go, it annoys me again.

Do you know what fucks me off? What? This is such a negative segment, but here we are in it. Man flu. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And there's, there's two parts that really annoy me about man flu is when it's not really man flu, when it's not really a flu and it's just man cold, it's just a cold. Well we call that man flu. Right. I just can't, I just can't because I still, when I have a cold or when I have man flu, when I'm not really that ill, but I'm a little bit ill and I feel a bit under the weather,

I still have to truck on with life. Yeah. Yeah. I still have to do the washing and do the cooking and do the pickups and I still have to run the household. Right. But when man flu arises, they don't have to do any of that. Okay. Yes. And also what I hate is if I have anything, any vague symptom of anything, And then all he says a few hours later, do you know what? I think, I think I might be coming down with that. You're like, no, you're not. You just let me have this one thing. Like, I just want to be ill on my own.

Why are you joining in? Why are you joining in? What is that? I don't know, but it happens in my household too. It happens in every heterosexual household and also whatever it is that you might be coming down with, they have come down with it, but worse, worse than you. Yeah, but then they're okay. You've only got a headache, but I've got a headache and I think I feel a bit sick. Or I think it's a migraine. Yeah. What is that? I don't know. It's amazing. Okay. But actually in our household this weekend, we have had proper man flu. Oh, have you? Because he looked fine this morning. No, he's got man. I mean, he looked completely fine. This is what I mean about man.

He wasn't even sniffling. No, he did lose his voice and he's got a horrible cough and he did feel pretty ropey. He looked fine. But then yesterday I offered him a cup of tea because he was in bed and he just felt rubbish and then I just completely forgot and I went out and as I was sitting having coffee with my friend in Gales as we were leaving, I'm like, oh, I didn't make him that cup of tea. with my friend in Gales as we were leaving, I'm like, oh, I didn't make him that cup of tea. We just left him in bed to dehydrate to death. So that is our show.

Whatever that was, that is our show. We'll fine tune it. Just keep listening. We're going to fine tune it. Don't tell anybody about the window cleaner, everybody. It's all of our show. We'll fine tune it. Just keep listening. We're going to fine tune it. Don't tell anybody about the window cleaner, everybody. It's all of our secrets. If you live near me and it comes around. Keeps them. Yeah.

Zip it. Don't tell him. He's a lovely guy. I enjoy talking to him. I don't need to be embarrassed. No comments. Just shut up. Anyway, you know what? Next time he comes over and you're there you talk to him and then you'll see how friendly and lovely he is. I have spoken to him I have. Have you? Because the last time you came you talked to him about throbbing cocks. No I love that. It was a very hot day and we were in the garden and he was cleaning the windows. I won't say anymore. Let's just leave it there. He's a nice guy.

Okay. I'd stop now if I were you. You're digging yourself a deep hole. I'm trying to dig myself out but it's making you work. We'll be back on Thursday with a brand new episode and please stay tuned. We'll be back on Monday with 40ish Unfiltered. Thanks for listening. Thanks for being here. Please keep your comments coming on social media. You can email us hello at 40ish.co.uk and we will be back on Thursday. Bye bye.