40ish - A Spanx tantrum and the John Lewis Ad

Episode Date: November 11, 2025

This week on 40ish: the ladies unwrap the new John Lewis Christmas ad and it’s got them feeling deeply middle-aged. Lauren has what can only be described as an epic meltdown over Spanx and one midlife online dater is torn between two men she doesn’t even fancy (spoiler: bin them both) Buckle up; it’s a feisty one.  We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 This episode is sponsored by London Nootropics Get 20% off at LondonNootropics.com with the code 40ISH Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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If I'm going to be spending it on something that sucks in and holds up, fuck this. I said, this is the patriarchy. Colleague pipes up. We actually skims have just started a range for men. And I was like, straight men, because you know no straight men is wearing those pants. Hello, everybody. Welcome to 40ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishkant. This is the podcast where we explore, discuss. We don't explore it. We just moan about it. Midlife. Middle age.

We whinge about being in our 40s. Yeah. We're not exploring it. Well, I guess we are exploring it. I was trying to put a positive spin on it. Go on then. Well, no, you've ruined it now. There is a lot of positives to being middle aged. Not really. Yes, there is.

Yes, there are. Yes, there are. And there's nothing. There is. There is. We just discussed your hinge profile if you were to put it on hinge now. We're not going to discuss it on the show. But, you know, all that stuff, that's not 20-ish stuff or 30-ish stuff, is it? That's pure 40-ish.

We didn't discuss my hinge profile, because that sounds weird. I'm a married woman. No. If you were to have one. You said, if you were to have a hinge profile, you could put that on there. Explain. I'm not going to explain. No, not what would be on my profile.

You listed some issues No, it was because you said that there was a listener Someone who follows us on TikTok Yeah, oh, who's in love with you Well, I don't think he's in love with me He's in love with you He is in love with you What's his name?

I don't, I don't know, he's a caterer He's a catererer Listen, I don't think he listens I think he just watches our TikToks He's in love with you I said he And I said, well, he doesn't really know me, does he And then I gave a list of things he wouldn't love

And that's when you said Well, you should put it on your hinge profile Yeah, and see what? what kind of man would respond to that. But, you know, let's be clear. I don't have a hinge profile. I'm not doing a hinge profile. I don't want a hinge profile.

It was an imaginary hinge profile. Fictional hinge profile. Yeah, that's all. It's a middle-aged hinge profile. Middle-aged. We should do a game with the listeners. If you had to do a hinge profile now and be really, really honest, like what would you put on the,

that is a brilliant game. I would put basically like to wear a track suit and slippers and stay on. And stay on sofa most of the time. Yeah, but I mean you have to get a bit more creative than that. No, I'd be like if you want to watch strictly in your track suit with me and not speak for two and a half hours while I was strictly great. Or breathe. Don't breathe. Don't eat, don't chew.

Don't expect me to go out or touch you or anything. Just sit silently. But basically what I'm asking for is a golden retriever, which I've got. So I don't, you know. That's what I've got. Yeah. I feel like you say the words golden retriever a lot. More than you should.

I really like... Because it's not like I say Kabapoo a lot. I'm really in love with her. No. I really love her a lot. That's so great that you love her. So I don't think even if I was in the state of life where I needed a hinge profile, I would bother having one because I feel quite happy.

I definitely would not have one. Also, a friend of mine, sometimes she is. she is in her 50s and attempting to internet date and I say attempting to not through any fault of her own because she is a very lovely and attractive woman

but she sends me the men that want to match with her and the last lot she sent me I showed you they looked like they were in prison for murder I mean it was a line-up you wouldn't want to see in a dark alley it was

it was dark out there I was like this is not good if I was on my end I wouldn't want to say it anyway I just want to play paddle I'd go to the gym I'd hang out with my girlfriends I'd sit at home

my kids and my dog and watch telly and cook and do potter around in the garden You're not gonna have any sort of social life That's nice thanks so much So I'm now longer No part of your oh Come around

Yeah but I was a fucking afterthought I don't want to do anything go anywhere I'm fine I'm just so fine at home You're not fine at home If you're always at home That's not fine I'm not always at home

but I'm saying I feel like I would be fine at home I would be fine with my paddle Hmm I think you would Anyway if you're noticing that we are in us We have a new look today We're in a new studio Not us ourselves, just the background Today

The atmosphere, we're actually in the jungle We're not It looks like I'm a celebrity to get me out We're hosting I'm a celeb The after show It's warm up for when we take over strictly Next year It's our warm up gig

Oh James is in here What's up, James? Just to be clear, you're still in the launch pod studio. Oh, we're very much still in the launch pod studio with James. But this is the small studio. James. Do you want to say hello so people know that you're still here? Hi, everyone.

James and I haven't fallen out yet today. But the days are, the days are. There is time. The days are. There is plenty of time. We still haven't played paddle together, have we? And I did give you the bad camera on purpose. No.

I chose to sit here. first that's not true you've always sat there no I've never sat here in fact what happened when we came to look at the studio is you immediately sat there leaving me this chair so this is my fault you chose it so now you'll stop for that I don't think I did choose it I didn't realize we were I didn't realize it was like right I choose this bedroom it's my forever how would you feel if next week we swapped chairs I think that's fine I'd be fine with that how do you feel if you go on holiday with Adam and you sleep on the other side totally fine no problem with it how does he feel about that yeah we're we're cool we're good

We don't even decide. He basically just nabs the side with the phone. What? I know, it's so male. And I just think, well, okay, more for you because if the phone rings in the middle of night, who's picking that up? And anyway, when does the phone ring in a hotel? It never rings. Never.

Okay, what about at home? You have your side? Yeah, of course. Do you ever swap? No. Okay. Well, who swaps? Would you care if you swapped?

Yes. You would care. At home? Yeah. Yes. Okay, so the other night. Do you and Ollie swap? Obviously not.

Obviously not. I don't know. one couple that do that. It's a bit psychopathic. It just randomly sleep on one side of the bed one night and another than the other night. But the thing is, when we go away, I couldn't care less, which side I don't sleep on. No, same. But Ollie has to still sleep on the same side. So because he feels very strongly about that, we just always sleep on the same side wherever we are in the world. But the other night, I was brushing my teeth. He

was playing with the dog on my side of the bed. And then he said, I wonder what it's like to sleep on your side of the bed. And I said, well, it was basically exactly the same. It's just got my books and my lip balm on my side. So when I came out the bathroom, I got in on his side. And he was like, no, no, no, what are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? I said, well, why don't you try it out?

He's like, no, no, I won't be able to sleep. I said, you know if it's the same bed, the same mattress, the same billets, the same divay. The same wife. Yeah, and then I just went to sleep. And he was stuck there. And the next morning, he was like, that was awful. I don't want to do that again. I slept terribly.

You made him... Oh, that's mean. I was like it's exactly the same. It's not. It's not exactly the same. It was... You just said it's weird if someone wants... If couples swap. No, I think it's weird to sleep with the same person in the same bedroom and the same bed every night,

but then just randomly pick a side. That's what you did. We did it on purpose after a discussion. We didn't. You did. I did. It was totally fine. For you.

Okay, the most fortish thing that's happened to me this week is the journalist Christmas advert. It's launched. It's out. They actually debuted it at the Great British Bakel. No, no, at the Great British Bakel final in the advert break. And... Good slot. Good slot.

Also... Did you actually watch that? Yeah. No, not the final. You actually watched the advert in that slot. I actually did. At the time. Yeah, because I wanted to do.

see it on the big screen. But how did you know it was being, oh, you knew. Because I saw it on my, on the news that it was launching and it was a whole big deal and I watched it on my phone, but I wanted to see it on a proper big screen. Can you imagine the amount of companies that pitch for that every year? Oh, my God. Anyway, I know I'm 40-ish because he's kind of hot, that dad. He's kind of hot.

He looks a little bit, a little bit like the guy in the morning show, the producer, the wet fish producer chip. He does look a bit like Chip. He is not attractive. I think he looks a bit like Pedro Pascal because I have teenage boys. It reminded me of when they were toddlers and babies and not big, hulking, great things with headphones. It's a very sweet advert, isn't it? It's very, very heartwarming.

It really is. And also the track that they pick where Love Liz by Alison Limerick, I, that was my single days. Well, there you go. That's every one of our generations clubbing days. to that song. Yeah, it's perfectly pitched for our age. But only our age, but then that's John Lewis. Well, my mum's shops at John Lewis, right? Well, my mum's shops at John Lewis. I know, but I mean, uh, yeah, Jackie probably does shop at John Lewis, yes. But what I mean is we're like the absolute quintessential John Lewis customer. That's the one. So they've really done it well.

They have. Yeah. What's the most thought you that's happened to you this week? I had such a good time at Parents' Evening for my daughter. You've told me, but you have to tell the listeners because it is a great story. Basically, she's at that stage. She's 14. She's at that stage with everything I do is embarrassing. Hmm.

And tragic. Yeah. So you've either just got a, if you can't beat them, join them, I'd say. So I'm just now just doing embarrassing things. Like we did a TikTok.

I mean, that was pretty 40-ish. That was really embarrassing. The TikTok that we were talking about, we were laughing about, can you imagine if we did do it on last week's show? Oh, we did it.

It's there for everyone to see. So you've probably seen it if you're listening to this, if not, go check it out. It actually seemed to perform quite well. People were quite into it. It was very funny. So we went to parents' evening. I was feeling quite naughty.

And we started with her music teacher, and she's in year 10. So we're talking about her GCSEs. And the teacher said, you know, it's great. She's completely where she needs to be right now. She's streaming for a six or a seven. So I said, oh, six, seven. And her face, my daughter's face, was horrified. She was like,

Mom, what you doing? And then the music teacher burst out laughing. She goes, oh, don't you start? I said, do they do it all the time? She goes all the time. And Lily Rose was going like a beat route. And I'm like, what, six seven, six seven, six seven. And then the music teacher started saying it. And then she just couldn't cope at all.

So then I said to her when we left the music teacher, I said, because you go around to all the different teachers. And I said to her, I am going to make sure that I slip six seven into every single meeting now that we have. Which I did. I managed it with every single one, bar one, I managed it. And one, I didn't know how to get it in. Yeah. It was quite easy because we were talking about, so the minute they said a seven, or she got 70%. I'm like, oh not, a six or a seven, you know. And then one, I just couldn't get it in because we weren't talking about her grades. And I just went, it was really nice to meet you six, seven. Or did the teacher equally like... They all got it. That's so funny.

They all got it and they all appreciated it. Let me tell you, parents' evening must be very draining for these teachers. I think it really must be because you must get a whole... You like run the full gamut of parents from ones that are actually like normal people to ones who really are. And you know, often you stand in a queue. So you're not listening to the conversation, but you can kind of see the intensity of the conversation. And sometimes you feel a bit sorry for the teachers. Then there's the parents that come along and say.

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Should we get on to a dilemma? Before we do, a quick disclaimer, we're not doctors or healthcare professionals. So if there is a problem that you are seriously struggling with, please, please, please, we beg of you. Contact a qualified expert. Not us. Olly actually asked me the other day, if you. he could remove my lanyard that said Lauren Mishkoan professional numpty

from the kitchen door. I hope you said no. Well, I said it's okay. I'm going to move it to my vision board and I put it on my vision board. Then I thought, oh my God, this is a terrible place to happen because I don't want to manifest

being a professional numpti. Well, I think we all ready. If anyone doesn't know the story, quickly because I hate a private joke on here. We don't want those. Lauren and I went to the podcast show. It was back in May. We did say this on the show. So if you avid listeners, you'll know what I'm about to say. And when we registered, you had to put, and I registered for Lauren, you had to put your occupation on there. And I put, mine was a podcaster and hers was a professional numpty. So she had to wear a lanyard all day that said Lauren Mishkan professional numpty around the podcast show.

And I didn't know until I collected it from reception. And then I had to, like, have these really serious discussions with Apple and Spotify and all these head honchos. And I'm, like, covering the front of my land yard with my hand because I don't want anyone to look at it. But then if it was people that you didn't know, they would go, well, let me see your name. You're like, no, no, no, no, no, my name's Lauren. Leave it. Leave it there. Leave it there. And then I would burst out laughing and then we'd have to tell them. Oh, yeah.

That's a six, seven thing. Is it? We are so stupid. We're pathetic. Anyway, do you want to hear the dilemma? Here we go. Hi, Lauren and Nicole. Advice, please. I am 53. Out of a long-term relationship a few years ago and I've recently started internet dating. Oh, best of British luck to you, my friend. After what we've just said as well. I know. I've met two men at the same time who are both lovely and we are potentially compatible in different ways. I've had two dates with each of them and I feel like I now need to only go ahead with one of them. I don't find either of them very attractive. But it feels so unlikely that I'd meet someone lovely and compatible and attractive that I feel it would be silly to wait around for that. And maybe the attraction can grow if everything else is right.

It feels like a dilemma now as to how to choose between them. It's a nice position to be in, I guess, especially as this comes after a rejection and then a ghosting with the first men I dated through the dating sites. I don't agree with the whole premise of this dilemma. I don't either. Firstly, why do you have to choose between them? you've been on two dates, you're not married, married or in a serious relationship with them. Why do you need to choose now?

Why not let both run on a bit longer till you obviously like one more than the other? Also, if you don't find either attractive, why don't you've been off both of them and start again? Well, because she's had a horrible experience a couple of times. So she's kind of now got it in her head that that's, if I fancy someone, then they're going to either ghost me or be a bit of a dickhead. So I think there's a lot of kind of scaremongering fear kind of mindset going on here. Like I've got friends, close friends who are on the dating scene and who do a lot of online dating. So I have conversations of this type a lot. And so I really do understand where this woman is coming from.

But I also think either the spark is there or it isn't. Yeah. And you know like when you watch Mathsa, And they start and they don't have the spark and they try so hard to have the spark because obviously they want to stay in the TV show and it never, ever, ever happens. No, because chemistry is chemistry.

Chemistry is chemistry. And you can be compatible on many deep levels and your morals and your values and that stuff is so important. But if there isn't chemistry, you've got to start with something, right? Yes. Because that bit will...

You can't fake that. No, and that bit will eventually fade into something much more settled. And then it's very important at that stage to have everything else in place, so you are compatible. Yeah, but there's still chemistry. There's still the chemistry, but it might not be as electric as it is when you first meet. No, it changes, but you still have, like, you still have a chemistry with Ollie.

I still have a chemistry with Adam. But you can't, you can't make that up. And also, it's just, it is between you or it's not. I agree. And also, you either want to kiss someone or you don't. Yeah. You either want to have sex with someone or you don't. Yeah.

It is really as basic and as simple as that. And if you don't fancy them, then you don't fancy them. If you don't fancy them after date two, you ain't never going to fancy them. Even if they're the loveliest person and the most compatible person. And by all means, hang out with them and go to the cinema with them or have a dinner date with them if you like their company. But I would say have them around if they're nice guys and you enjoy their company. But other than that, definitely keep your options open, lady. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. You're 53. You're not 83. And also, we are not on the dating scene. We're not. And as I said before, my friend who sends me these photos of the men who match with her, I've said to her now, listen, if you don't start skewing younger on your profile, I'm going to start losing sympathy. Like, you've got to go younger because these men are. Is that what you said to her? I did. This is also a new friend of yours.

Yeah, I was very honest with her. Yeah. Yeah, that's rough. I was like, listen, you know, this is how it is, skew younger. I don't know how I feel about this new friend. Not this particular new friend. I don't how I feel about your new friends. How do you feel about my new friends? Obviously, I hate them. Do you? Do you actually?

Oh God, say you do. I hate them. I have a dark board. No, but you're like, bar you. Yeah. Well, you were my newest friend. Oh, no, you're not my newest friend now, but you were definitely were my newest friend.

But don't all your friends hate me. You're old friends. No. Oh, they don't? Actually, they don't. Any more they did in the beginning. No, they didn't. Now they're used to me.

Not one of them have ever hated you. They all actually really like you. Do they? Yeah. That's really nice. Were they a bit, a bit like, who is this new person? Only one of my friends. But she did it in a very jokey way.

Right. But we both knew she wasn't joking. Why? Do your friends hate me? No, none of my friends hate you, but one of my friends is always a bit like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Bit like, hmm. She says it in a joke.

But I also know it's not a joke. She'd be like, what are you doing? I'm going to go out with a cold. Oh, of course you are. You know, like that. And then she's joking, but she's not. She has what she's not. You've never told me that.

Yeah. It's more like... Watch your back. No, it's like, you know. Yeah, her nose is put out of joint because I've taken up a lot of space in your life. Which I understand. We do spend a lot of time together.

Less than we used to, but a lot of times together. A lot less time than we used to. Yeah. We don't go on holiday together anymore. You know, it's that. You know what it is. Don't you dare say it's the dog. Is that what you're going to say?

It's the puppy. That's not remotely what I was going to say. Okay. That did change our routine. It did. This is becoming like marriage counselling. No, I wasn't going to say that. What were we going to say?

What was I going to say? Oh, I tell you what I was going to say. Yeah. It's, you're going to get so annoyed. Are you going to say it's paddle? No. Oh. I'm going to say it's the heart.

Honeymoon period is over. Oh, Nicole. Come on, what are your meltdowns this week? Oh my God. I mean, I actually had one, an actual one, and it was in public. And it was a moment. And I'm kind of glad you weren't there because... Oh, don't be mean.

No, it's it better for you that you weren't there. I was in Selfridges, and I've got a party coming up this weekend. and I'm wearing quite a body skimming dress, quite thin material. Someone like you. I know what's going on with me. And you showed me the leather dress. Is it the same dress? No, no.

I haven't bought two tight dresses. I haven't bought this dress. I already own this dress. I'm wearing it this weekend. And then I've got another thing coming up and then I've got Christmas. And I thought, you know what? Like, I should probably invest in something to go under this. What's the best thing?

Oh, I know, like skims, like some nice shapeware, like something nice. So I go up to the lingerie department in Selfridges, and there's a whole Skims department. Now, I've never seen this stuff in real life. I've only ever seen it. You've never been to the Skims department in Selfridges, don't be so ridiculous. Never, ever, ever, ever. I've like once browsed the website, but I've never... Have you not been in Selfridges recently?

Yeah, but I never go to the lingerie department. I never... It's of no interest to me. I guess I've got two daughters, so... Right. It's of no interest to me. Anyway, I... Oh, we visit it. on the rig. Oh, so I walked around and I looked at it and I thought...

It's quite underwhelming, isn't it? I thought, this isn't going to do much. It ain't going to hoik up and it ain't going to suck in. It's not Spanx, the skim stuff. And there was no staff. And so I said to women, excuse me, I'm like, I'm looking for... Spanx. Something to hoik it up and suck it in.

This doesn't like it's up to much. She's like, no, no, no. You don't want to be here. You want to go over there, Walfords and Spanx. I was like, great. Thank you very much. So I go over to that department. there's a woman who is in charge of the department

who is a Jamaican grandma basically by the end of this episode she felt like my Jamaican grandma episode. This episode I had in Selfridges Oh, oh not this episode No not this episode And your episode My personal episode

So I was like right This is what I'm wearing This is what I need she's like Okay darling no worry we're going to sort you out So she gives me this pair of What I could only describe as like cycling shorts but the stomach bit goes up so high

you know like does it go under your bra yeah yeah she's like go and try this on so I go and try it on I'm like muckling up I thought this is awful because I'm going to bend over or sit down it's going to roll down so I went back I was like no no no no this is not for me

I want an all I want everything I want the boobs everything she's like okay try this thing on you want an all in one yeah I want an all in one so she gives me an all in one every time because the change room is not next to the Spanx department. So I'm having to walk through, get dressed, fully dressed, walk through Selfridges, back forth.

It's quite warm in there. I'm getting a little bit fed up. Putting on my jeans, my sweatshirt, my shoes, walking back, walking forward, walking back. So I put on the all in one. It fits everywhere. But the boobs, it will not contain the boobs. The boob bit was tiny.

I was going to say, I think it's either a sucking-in thing or it's a bra. I don't think you're going to get both in one. No, I'm like, my boobs aren't fitting in this. She's like, okay, try this. I cannot explain to you this contraption, okay? Imagine like dungarees, so like a pair of pants that end under the boob but with two straps. So your boobs just sit over the top like some sort of...

The straps are the side of the boob or they just go on top of the boob because then that's going to create... No, on the side. But then what's happening to the boob? They're literally sitting on top of these knickers that end on your ribcage. But also they're being shoved to the... the side as well because of the strap and the strap is digging in it was the and i thought and then you've got to put a bra on yes i thought i've had this on for approximately 22 seconds i'm already in pain i can't tolerate this i'm not wearing this took it off and men don't have to deal

with this i took it off i went back i said listen i i am done i don't want that i don't want that and i don't want that and i said do you know what i've been given a southridge's voucher and i am fucked. If I'm going to be spending it on something that sucks in and holds up and hoists I said, do you think that any man goes to a party and has any concern about, oh, is his belly sticking out a bit? Is he got a bit of a pop belly? Should he have some underwear to suck it in? I said, fuck this. I said, this is the patriarchy. Do you know what this whole department is? This whole department is raging anti-feminist. I don't like it. And these women stood there like my Jamaican grandma

she'd had enough with me by this point because she'd given me like seven things to try and I'd rejected everything I don't think she's going to make a sale and then her her colleague is standing next to her just looking at me like oh my god this woman's in like complete meltdown

no she's in meltdown she's in meltdown she's not in fucking meltdown you're fine and at last I see the light that's what's going on here and then I tell you, it was a brave, it was brave of the colleague, the colleague pipes up. Well, actually, skims have just started a, um, a range for men. And I was like, straight men, because you know

no straight man is wearing those pants. I said, do you think my husband is going to spend his afternoon coming into salvages worrying about, oh, will I look nice in this shirt? I said, fuck this. I'm going to the shoe department. And I literally left. I left. It was done. I was so angry about this whole like I am uncomfortable also do you know how much these things are oh ninety pounds for a pair of pants that you can't breathe in no no Nicole no no I'm just allowing you to have your moment I believe I I I had the moment and when I got to the top of that escalator I was so overheated and cross and angry I had to go straight down to the food hole and buy myself some water and you know I don't drink water

So you know it must have been a bad moment for me. Wow, you would. I'm a dehydrate. I was because I've been sucking myself in to these fucking flesh-coloured bandages for the last 40 minutes. And they're getting dressed and undressed, dressed and dressed. It was like torture. You know, I don't believe in Spanx. You know that right.

I don't really know your thoughts and feelings about them. Yes, you do. I've always said that Spanx are anti-feminist. It's just, what that fuck? They're totally anti-fucking feminist. It really is. Listen, I have never worn a spank. My daughter has spanks and it really upsets me

every time she puts the most beautiful, young, healthy, feminine body. Just let your curves be your curves. Just be who you fucking are. And wear something that you feel good in. Don't suck it in and hoik. I'm not into this. No, be you. Also, I said to her with the first pair of knickers,

the ones that went right up to the chest, I was like, where does the fat go? is it going to end up under my chin? Am I just hoiking up the fat? Yeah. Just moving it around. She was like, no, darling, it's going to be fine. Like, I think she thought she was dealing with someone with some serious mental health issues in the underwear department.

Yeah, but it caused you to have mental health issues. It really caused a whole meltdown. And by the way, I agree with every single part of that. I really do. Do you remember one of the first times I met you? You're not going to remember this. Go on. We had a meeting with your dad.

because we were talking about taking self-care club, which wasn't a podcast at this point, to the radio station that he was running. And we met him in Little House in Mayfair, which is one of the Soha House group. I was really excited because, firstly, it was a boozy place to meet someone. Secondly, I was my dad.

Secondly, it was like some big broadcaster, so that was quite exciting. Well, he's not my dad, and I'd never met him. And thirdly, it was like the third time I'd ever met you. Yeah, yeah. So I was a little. bit like, I was a little bit bedazzled by you at this stage. Thanks. I'm sorry that the gloss is now faded. Anyway, she came in and she started, she launched into this story,

you hadn't even sat down. You launched into this story about how there was such a long queue at the theatre and you were queuing for so long that you almost missed the second half because it was about to start. So you went storming into the men. And you took women with you And you're like This isn't okay This is the patriarchy What the fuck is this

There's no cue there Everyone's queuing here Right you were giving this They came and they came with me Yeah They joined You're like Noah's Ark They joined my brigade

Yeah you were like Noah Yeah Do you know what Anyway hold on Hold on So let me set the scene Yeah You had not even sat down

You had not taken your coat off This is how you opened The meeting Wow And I thought Fuck I like her Oh, okay. Not in that way.

Oh, okay. I just thought, she is outspoken and I like it. But actually, as it turns out you're not outspoken at all. No, not. I just have moments. You know what it is? I think you hold so much in that suddenly... It just leaks.

Yeah. And then it leaks in a moment and it will explode on your poor Jamaican grandma who works in the self lingerie department. She's probably still telling that story. Yeah, she'll tell it forever. Mad woman who came in, tried all. on like 19 items and they just had a complete meltdown at the till. I'm sure you weren't the first person to have a meltdown there.

I'm sure I wasn't, but I probably won't be the last. On that note, there was an article in the paper this weekend about a brand new theatre they're building, I want to say on the South Bank, somewhere that's not that near. Anyway, as part of this theatre building, they are making more women's, more women's toilet. So they should. Because they... I have said it for years. Because they understand, and they're making the seats bigger and wider and with more foot room.

Because they understand. And they said in this article, women spend, you have to choose between a pee or a trip to the bar at the interval. Yeah. Whereas the men can do both. But the women can't. It's good, isn't it? I say every time I go to theatre and I go to theatre quite a lot. And I always get someone to listen to me in that loo.

And I always say they like to inconvenience society do this on purpose because they like to inconvenience women. and people always agree with me when I say it's my party trick. Yeah, I understand and I agree. Anyway, we can go to this new theatre and go to the loo as much as we like. Oh, I think we should just go just to go to the loo. Yeah. We'll do a day trip. Why not?

Sounds great. We'll do a field trip. Lovely. To that Lou Recky. Yeah. Okay, when it opens. What's your meltdown this week? I mean, mine is not nearly as fun.

Mine wasn't fun, let me just tell you. I wish I was there. I would have had so much fun being there. You would have had a lot of fun seeing me. kind of circus outfit. I mean, it was quite the get-up. No, I'm not interested in the outfit. I realised that was the build-up

that had to get you to that point, but I would have loved just watching you in your moment. I would have loved it. Would you have loved it? Yes, fucking would have. And then paraded you around selfages in the spank.

With a megaphone. In the Spanx. In the Spanx. With no bra. It would have been a look. I heard we had some feedback. We did. We had such a lovely email coming this morning.

I'm going to read it to you. It's from Victoria. Okay. Morning ladies. Me again. Don't think I need to tell you how much I love the show again, but I do, and I will. I think she writes in quite a lot, Victoria. I got told last night by my husband and three daughters that every story now starts with.

I was listening to a podcast, and normally it's your show I'm talking about. Anyway, doom scrolling. just now, rather than doing the laundry, and I came across these enamel pins. At first, I thought the badass one would suit your girls. It's like a badge. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. One says, Bad-ass women. Yeah. And one says, I may look fine, but deep down, I don't remember any of my passwords. Nice. True. At first, I thought the badass one would suit you girls. Then I saw the passwords one and thought maybe this one for Lauren. Sadly, there wasn't a paddle one for Nicole.

Oh, it could be like just, I'm a paddle wanker. It could be. Yeah. If I only knew where to post them to, I would have bought you both one. That may seem creepy, but I promise I'm not a weirdo. You girls have kept me company. Oh, this is so sweet through a very difficult period. So thank you, ladies, so much for the show that you bring.

I love it and we'll listen and we'll listen to the end. She was obviously just halfway through. Oh, that's so sweet. that is so sweet isn't that lovely oh that is so sweet i know i love that our listeners think of us you know like in moments when they're not listening to us like they see something they're like oh they'd like that that's so nice like you do with a friend that's so nice anyway so then i was thinking when that came in yeah i was thinking what we should do yeah merch oh yeah we did merch for self-care club we did we should do merch for 40ish i've still got some in my loft

i know but then we did it through a company where we didn't actually have to send it out ourselves like, you know, normal people. You're going to say bye? Yeah. We run out of energy. Yeah, I've got a very bad headache. I'm sorry to hear that. Bye, listeners.

Bye, listeners. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next Tuesday. No? Well, Thursday. Thursday. We'll see you next Thursday. Bye.

Bye. It's not just you. News is moving faster than ever. And I'm hoping that I can help you make sense of it all. My name is Jamie Puezzo, and I host Canada's most popular daily news podcast. It's called Frontburner. We break down one story each day and talk to the reporters, the politicians, and people at the heart of it. Our goal is to help you stay informed without feeling overwhelmed.

You can find and follow Frontburner on Spotify.