40ish - Architraves, Eyebrows and Twinning with your MIL

Episode Date: December 16, 2025

Today on 40ish: It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas and what says xmas better than a heated debate about architraves? Nicole is spiralling over the fact that she appears to be growing eyebrows… above her eyebrows (a festive miracle nobody asked for). Speaking of bushy, Lauren is locked in an existential crisis about the girth of her Christmas tree, which is apparently so wide it should come with its own postcode. A listener writes in with a cracker of a dilemma over her mother in laws’s Xmas gift which she has taken into her own hands and she’s now unintentionally twinning with her. Plus, the ladies debate who is more relatable? Grab a mince pie, pour something strong, and join 40ish for the final show of 2025 before they break for the holidays. See you on the other side and wishing you all a very Happy Christmas and a healthy New Year.  Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 This episode is sponsored by London Nootropics Get 20% off at LondonNootropics.com with the code 40ISH Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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thank you james you're going to love this we're starting a podcast with her i might yeah fuck it after today what's it cool what's it called i might it's called name it name the show make up a name for her emma lifting with emma lifting with emma lifting with emma and having fun with weights with every uncle it's kind of your own fault I don't mean to be mean but she should have

been mean because she should have said something in the moment can I tell you she's being so mean today she's being so mean today she's missed a period I think that's going to rewind I'm going to say

it's been 41 days since I had a period Hello everybody welcome to the last episode of the year 40-ish, I'm Nicole Goodman And I'm Laura Michiglin Wow, you made that so dramatic

Well, it is dramatic Like the last episode, we're ever going to do No, not the episode, not ever Just for this year It is dramatic Is it? I think so Yeah

Is it? Yeah Okay Why not? It's the final episode of 2025 Get ready, buckle up Yeah This is it

Yeah This is where the end Yeah, you see You see you're taking it And running with it. Okay. This is the podcast where we tackle your 40-something lives. Diving into everything, midlife, rant, stories, dilemmas, our own mess.

It's basically how to survive midlife. Sort of. We sort of give our expert opinions. They're not very expert. We just give our opinions. It's not very helpful most of the time. Can't be an expert on middle. Oh, you can actually.

We are an expert on middle age because we're middle-aged. Are we bossing middle-age? Yes. Are we? Are we? Well, it depends what your version of bossing middle age looks like. Well, I've pretty much completed Christmas. It's 8th of December at time of recording,

so I feel like I'm bossing middle age right now. That's not bossing middle age. Yeah, it is. No, it isn't. It's proper adulting. To be organised and not be a last-minute loo-loo. So weird that that is where you go to. You see, we are so different.

What happened? My mind did not go there. What happened the other day? Oh, you were making flatbreads. We'll get back to that. You know where my mind went to about bossing middle age? What? Like, you know what?

I'm fit. I'm strong. I could lift a lot more than most of the women that are younger than me in the gym. I am fucking bossing middle age. That's where I went to. And you're like, yeah, I've done all my Christmas shopping. I think mine's a bit more relatable. To be honest with you.

I think mine's a bit more important. Maybe. You know. I mean, maybe. How can you say I'm not relatable? Sometimes you're relatable. Sometimes you're deeply relatable. Sometimes you're not.

What is not relatable about me? Neither are you, by the way. That sort of shit. That sort of shit. It's like, you know, that scene in Superman where Kallel falls to Earth? I don't know who Kolel is. He's Superman. It's his original name and the planet blows up and his parents put them.

He was Clark Kent. That's his Earth name. Right. Good. Get with the program. Right, yeah. His parents put him in the spaceship and they send him to a earth because their planet's about to explode and then he falls to earth and he's like three

and he lifts up the car and then his adoptive parents see him and they're like wow he's special he's from another planet like i don't feel there's a situation where my parents are going to put me in a spaceship send me to other planet and i'm going to need to lift up the car but you wouldn't be able to you wouldn't be able to yeah i just feel like it's fine what's that's sorry what has that got to do with anything because you're like i can lift stuff and i can lift heavier stuff than other People's long, I'm like, I don't need it. It's got nothing to do with me lifting a cup. Don't be annoying.

It's got not. Don't, just don't be sore about it. The Superman music comes in. Da, da, da, da, da da, da. Now looking at this toddler, naked toddler, lifting a car. That could be you. That's you. No, that's not relatable.

And my, listen, one thing, the one message that we get over and over and over again, and by the way, if you have written into us, thank you so much. But the one thing that you all say to us is like, I deeply resonate. I deeply relate to all the things that we talk about. So don't start throwing accusations out here that I am not relatable. Because I think that is doing us both an injustice on this podcast. I'm not deeply unrelatable. I'm just not.

Sometimes. Sometimes you ask you. No, I'm just not relatable to you. Like so many people in my fucking gym that go to the gym, that exercise like crazy, that they find it very relatable. There are a lot of people in the world that exercise, Lauren, a lot. No, I'm aware of that. So they wouldn't find this unrelatable.

Okay. By the way, I don't lift things. You said it. So that I can, I haven't finished a sentence. I don't lift things so that I can lift a car. It's just not in my goal for 2026. Are you sure? Are you sure?

I am absolute sure. But we'll never need to lift a car. I sincerely hope you never need to. No. No. But you know what? I can lift the suitcases. We're going on holiday.

And I always, whenever we get to the carousel, the suitcase, you know, the baggage claim. And I always get the bags off myself. I don't let Adam help me. And I like throw them onto the trolley. But like, why? Because I can. Well, I've got a husband and two hulking great big sons to do that. I've never had to lift a suitcase in my life.

But you will. But you will. No, you will. Yes, I will. Why? Yes, you will. Why? Why will I ever have to?

And if I'm travelling alone, I'd just say to the man so next to me, excuse me. Yeah, that's pathetic. I'd do mind getting my suitcase off the carousel? And they'd say it would be my pleasure. It's pathetic. And that's pathetic. It's pathetic. It's pathetic.

I don't have to. You're telling me you couldn't lift your own suitcase. Of course I can, but I don't want to. That's not okay. But I don't want to. But I don't want to. It's fine. It's fine.

It's actually not fine. Of course it is. No, it isn't. No, it is not. It is not fine that you can't lift things. No, I can. I just choose not to. Well, you should choose to because it's good for you. It's good for your well-being. It's good for your longevity, which, by the way, we're doing a show on in a few weeks. You can keep banging the drum. It's never going to change. Give up. Give up. Find something else to nag me about that I might do, but I'm not going to do that.

Well, that actually brings me beautifully into my most 40-ish thing. I will do anything for love, but I won't do that. actually on Saturday night on Saturday night we went out with you and Ollie me and my husband went out with you and your husband We had a double date We did have a double date

It was very nice We had a very nice meal We all had the same meal Which I thought was very cute Staking chips It was yummy And after you were like Two or three drinks in

Two drinks in I had one drink You had two drinks You spilled no Ollie spilled it Ollie spilled my first one So I just only had one One. You had two. You had a glass of wine. Did I? Yes. I'm forgotten about that. Two drinks. Yeah.

Once you were a glass of champagne and a glass of wine in. Yeah. It was more pleasant. You were actually. You told me that you were going to start lifting things with. No, you did. You told me. You actually, do you remember what you told me? Well, you weren't at drunk. You must remember. I tell you things every day of my life. So no, trying to tell me, what did I tell you on Saturday? I could no clue. James, you're going to love this. What did I tell you? You know what she told me? On Saturday night after she'd had two drinks What did I tell you? She told me that she wanted to play paddle with me. Oh no, I didn't say I wanted to play paddle. I said I would play paddle.

Oh, that's so sweet, James. Oh, dear, Nicole's going to go to bowl meltdown now. Thanks, James. I actually would. If he played paddle with you, I would. Would you lie on the floor and kick and stamp and scream? I would be so funny. I believe that the conversation was like about.

paddle and you were like if you play paddle it'd be cute because then four of us could play and i said oh ollie wouldn't play i would he said he would but he said he would play with you and i said i'd give it a go and you were like what what you'd play paddle i was like i'll give it a go i'd be shit but i don't mind giving it go and you were like you'd never let me coach you i'm i totally would let you coach me i've no problem with that things you don't want me coaching why because i'm all very good ollie said he'd coach you and he's a really good tennis player yeah i mean i am open to this okay for 2026 okay good Anyway, what's the most fortunate thing that's happened to you this week?

I want to know what everyone's definition, please send in your messages, between conversing with your husband and asking them to do something and nagging because it seems that there is no difference anymore. It's the second time. The first time is conversing. The second time is the nag. Right. More than once.

But hold on. It's their fault that you've had to ask them the second time. Because it hasn't been done. Well, they haven't listened and then... Right, so it's their fault. Well, they would argue, no. So the reason that I'm having to repeat myself, because let me tell you something, I don't like repeating myself for my fucking health.

Because it's not good for my health, not good for your health, not good for my health. It's not good for anybody's health. This is not conducive to anybody, actually. So when I said this morning, oh, can you just empty the bin? He said something along the lines of, and I might be misquoting, but this was the vibe. because you just stop nagging and I said I don't think that's actually nagging because I've just asked you to do something

and goes it's the same thing and I said it isn't though it is not actually the same thing I'll tell you why it's nagging because you have a vagina if you had a penis you asked that would just be asking see what I mean like you never say to Adam

stop nagging me because men I do sometimes because he's been going on about the same thing all we can about with the doors the doors the archa traves I don't know why he calls it an architrave not a doorframe what's the difference between a doorframe and an architrave

that's my question I'll tell you what the difference I think this is the difference because the architrave runs throughout the hallway it doesn't just sit around a doorframe it goes across the bottom as well but that's skirting oh is it like the collective term for the skirting and the door frames

I'm changing my most 40th thing to all I've spoken about this weekend is architraves. Even I had to talk about them this morning with Adam. Well, because at that point, I was just banging my head against the fucking archa trape. I couldn't talk about it anymore. You refused to join in.

I actually can't tell you. We've had the busiest weekend doing God knows what, with whatever. Nothing overly exciting, apart from dinner, of course, with you and Ollie. Thrilling, that was thrilling. All he has talked about. All he has got absolutely no other conversation in him apart from archa trees. I know why I understood immediately this morning. It was because that.

The decorators are coming to choose the colour. And if you don't like the colour, I don't like the colour, you're going to tell him you don't like the colour. I've told him I don't like the colour. But then he's like, no, no, that's the colour. OK, well, then why are you asking me? He clearly asked you this morning, what colours do you want? Because don't let them.

I said, I would like to see white. And he said, no, no, white's wrong. Well, it is wrong. Okay. Then don't ask me. You see what's happening here. I do, but also, you are going to drive him mad for five years. I told you I didn't like the black.

And then I know, no, no, and you wouldn't let me have the white. and I don't like the black and then he'll be like, I did tell you to tell me what colour and you didn't. Sorry, what is going on here? I don't know. Hold on.

He's giving you the opportunity. It's all about you now. You're calling me Unrelatable. Firstly, that was the first dig. And now you're just like, started with my husband. What's going on? I am allowed to have an opinion about paint colour

and I happen to decide with him on that particular issue. I don't know if you are allowed. Well, I told him. As though I'm siding with you, I agree with you, not the white. I agree with him. There is my whole argument. I cannot believe this has made it to the podcast.

Now we're having the argument. No, we're having it. The whole, my whole argument was this. Yeah, go on. There are about a gabilion colours in between black or white. But you see, my husband, he thinks he's got very black and white thinking. This is how he thinks. I did hear you say that to him.

And then I thought, what the fuck does she want? Purple? Like, there are many colours between black. and white, but what colour are you suggesting, if not black or white? You don't have like orange skirting boards, are you? Arctraves. So what colour are you talking about here? Yet you're factually correct, yes.

But you don't actually want some random colour, do you? See, now I am beginning to understand what it's like to be married to you. I am married to you in a different way. But it's the same. I see. Well, I am the same person, yes. Yeah. Well, hold on. Hold on.

Just go with the black. Your husband's right. Let me ask you a question now. Huh. What? About the nagging with the bin and the architraves. How relatable am I now? Very relatable.

I think I've gone up in the relatable factor. Although I think a lot of people needed the description of architraves. Because before I got involved with the Goodman Rao, I also was not clear on an architrave. If you said, Your frame, fine, skirting fine, architrave. What? You've never heard the word architrave. I honestly haven't until this moment.

I'm actually going to Google it. Okay, thank you. I'm going to Google what is the definition. Oh, I mean, this is really. Is it the collective term for skirting and frames? No, I'm not going to feed it. I'm just going to, what is the definition? That's what I'm saying?

That's my guess. The molded frame around a doorway or window. Oh, yeah, yeah. So it's the molded frames around the top of your doors because it's not, yeah. What is the difference between frames and architraves? Yeah. What is the difference between skirting in architraves?

Archotrave and skirting boards are both finishing mouldings. Okay. But they serve different purposes and are installed in different locations. So it's the collective term. No, you're obsessed with this collective term. Well, it is because they're not the same thing. Skirting boards are installed horizontally at the base of walls. Yeah.

While architraves are installed vertically. Very good. around door and window frames. Okay. So it's both. But it's not the collective term. It's both. It's back away from that.

Well, it actually is. No, it isn't. No, it isn't. No, the architrave is the door frame and the skirting is the skirting. Our archa traves go into the skirting. I see. They still should be the colour that they have been painted, though. I'm not white.

Feedback. Are you ready? Nadine. She says hi. Hi Nadine. I've been listening and loving this show since it started and today is my 40th birthday and I feel like I am now an official member. You are. You're an official member anyway. Love the show.

and can relate so much. Oh, thank you, Nadine. To Lauren, no. She doesn't say that. Thank you for keeping me entertained. Let's talk about how relatable you are, shall we? Okay. Because I'm so Mrs. Unrelatable.

You're so relatable. I have more relatable hair because yours is always fucking perfect. So my hair is more relatable. See? Can you hear her? Can you actually hear her? Yours is always fucking perfect. Can you hear her?

That's more relatable. Why am I less relatable? Because you do weird things. Like when I come over to a house and you go, Oh, I didn't have any flatbreads, so I'm making them. That's not relatable. It's weird. I mean, listen.

I think the word is nice. I think the word is, thank you. I think the word is yummy lunch. Not weird. Weird would be, here's some bay beans in a can and I can't bother to heat them up. That's weird. No, the flatbreads were delicious. They were all right.

They're okay. well the fact that you were even like rolling out the dough to me in my world is weird you don't find rolling pins relatable I don't but many people do you know there are certain things that you do

that I don't find relatable and you were like I have to up my pastry game yeah who says that and then I said to you when you said I've got to up my pastry game and I said for what and you said for life you said it's so deadpan and I said to you, I don't know how we're friends. I don't know how we have so much fun together.

I don't know. We have nothing in common. Maybe that's why we have fun. Because if we had everything in common, then maybe we'd be in competition, but we're never in competition about anything because I don't give a shit about anything that you do. And you don't give a shit about anything I do. No. You don't want to be good at rolling shit and I don't want to be good at lifting shit.

So that's great. Yeah, but I do enjoy cooking. It's not the same. I don't enjoy lifting, so. I don't know. actually tried it. Maybe I would enjoy it. It's actually really enjoyable. People think it's like it's such a big thing. Like one of the girls that I play paddle with, I was training, she said, oh come and I'll train with you. And I trained with it. She never ever lifts weights.

And she's like, oh my God, is that it? It was done in like 40 minutes. I'm like, yeah, she goes, oh, that was great. I'm like, see? It's not that hard, is it? She's like, no. She was great. She loved it. We loved it. We had a great time. Bonding. It's very bonding. You starting a podcast with her? I might. Yeah, fuck it. After today, I, what's it called? I might. It's called Name it. Name the show. It's called... What's her name? No, I'm not going to oust her.

She might not want to be known. Make up a name for her. Emma. Lifting with Emma. Lifting with Emma and Nicole. Having fun with weights. With Emma and Nicole. Jim Bubbies with Emma and Nicole.

It sounds like such a cracking show. Jim bunnies. Oh, Jim Bunnies. Jim slash paddle bunnies. Oh, that sounds like a great. Great show. Would you hate listen? I wouldn't listen.

You wouldn't, you'd hate listen. I wouldn't. You would definitely hate listen. Come on. Come on. If I just dumped you for Emma, yeah, who doesn't exist.

Yeah. And I started a podcast with her. You're telling me. Jim bunnies. I would look at the cover photo on iPhone, then I would just delete podcast app from my phone forever. Oh, you'd be so hurt.

I would never. And then if anyone said to me, if you heard that podcast, I don't talk about podcast. And what would you do? Do? Bake. Oh, make flatbreads. And breed golden retriever puppies, probably.

That'd be it. You wouldn't breed golden retriever puppies. You wouldn't. Because your house would smell and you would hate that. My house would smell. But I could cover up the smell with the baking. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Anyway, I'm not going to start a podcast with her.

Thanks, thank you. I appreciate that. We've had another one. I discovered you two during COVID when I was a bit down and desperately searching Apple podcast for self-care tips like it was a medical emergency. It was. it quite literally was I just moved from Florida to England

a shock in itself I had newborn twins and precisely zero friends tragic I know somehow in the middle of all that chaos you became my unofficial British fairy godmothers or maybe god's sisters I'm in my 30s I can't quite call you my mother's let's just say sisters

yeah you didn't just help me blend in with the Brits you help me be a better mum friend and wife all your stories life lessons tips tricks and general bantz have genuinely stuck with me You always joke that you chat shit. But honestly, you've made such a difference in people's lives, mine included. You've even become part of my household.

So sweet. After all these years of me listening, my husband now asks completely unironically, what are the girls up to? And he means you too. How cute is that? Even our own bloody husbands don't ask that. So thank you for being the friends I didn't have when I really needed them. Oh, don't all going to cry. You're relatable.

Oh, tick. You see? I bet she lives wings. Hilarious and always say what the rest of us is thinking. P.S. See? P.S. Top tip here.

You keep the shopping bags folded in the triangle by tucking the handles over the top of the triangle. Oh. Oh, angel. Angel, you are an angel. Yeah, you are our angel. Thank you. She's our Christmas angel. Oh.

Oh, that is so sweet. That's one of the nicest emails ever. Thank you, Angel. That is utterly gorgeous. Thank you so much for writing in. And what's taken you so long to write in? Yeah. Where you've been?

We've had so much feedback. She's busy raising twins. She's got five-year-old twins. So she's been doing that. All right, Angel, I take it back. It's okay. But for the rest of you lot. Because we've had a few of these messages coming in saying,

oh, I've been listening to you for years. listen, some of them have been so heartwarming. So thank you. And we really do love every single one of them. I know we say it every week. But I really do want to reiterate it because it really does mean a lot because it's just for us, it's like this one way conversation. So when we hear back from you, it is just amazing. We really adore it. But you've been listening to us for years and you haven't written in. We want to hear from you. So if you are one of those people listening now and you're thinking, oh my God, I've never written in. I've listened for years. Please, hello at the self-care club.co.com.uk or hello at 40ish.com.com. Please write in and just so that we can be

aware of you. Or you can see Emma. Before we dive into your dilemmas, a very quick disclaimer the last one of the year. We are not doctors or healthcare professionals and we won't be in 2026. So if there is an issue you are seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified expert. Hi ladies, here is my Christmas dilemma. I think it's also around, so consider it a two for one. Excellent. I bought myself some brown suede ankle boots to wear over Christmas. Yes, I am that woman who is still into an ankle boot. I don't seem to find them as problematic as YouTube. I wasn't sure what side to get. So I bought a five and a six. My mother-in-law was round when I was trying them on and the six fit me perfectly. She then tried on the five, declared them perfect and told me that this was her Christmas gift sorted. My dilemma is that A, I had already bought. her present and it cost me £50 less than the bloody boots, which I obviously would have sent back and B, now me and my mother-in-law are going to be ankle-boot twins, which has already put me off them, Claire.

Ankle boot twins. Cute. Claire. I have a couple of items that my mother-in-law has. Do you? In fact, she walked into my house the other day and I was wearing, remember those pleather M&S? I forgot about those. The burgundy jeans.

Yeah, when she's sent back, and I have kept them. And she's like, oh, I've got those. Yeah, jean twins. But she's quite a stylish woman, my mother-in-law, so it's not a massive problem for me. But you wouldn't want to both be wearing them out to, like, a family function at the same time. Be a bit weird. It would be weird to be twinning. Yes, it would, but I also think we would wear them so completely differently.

I know, but she also has a dark bob, so, you know, it could be like... Not being my mother-in-law. Yeah, yeah, she does. She does. It could be, it could be a bit weird. No one would say anything, but, you know, it would be like... No, but I would say something. Do they dress the same now?

What's going on here? Is this what's happening? What's going on here? So the bit that would bother me the most is that she'd already bought her gift and now it's cost her 50 quid more than what she wanted to spend. And she can't send the boots back because her mother-in-law's basically nab them. But maybe she could send the gifts back. the gift that she bought her back

and at least get a partial refund on that if it's not too late Oh yes You know what I mean But you're still spending 50 pounds more That's a lot of money That's annoying Because how much have you spent on the bloody gift

If it's 50 pounds more Yeah Well they're suede ankle boots They could be anything Couldn't they? It could be any price Yeah It's a bit chutz-bed dick

As we would say To be like oh thanks I'll have these My Christmas present But you don't know their relationship So you don't know It sounds pretty close. Like one of my best friends, she is so close with her mother-in-law. Honestly, they do so much together.

They've got the most gorgeous relationship that I can see that that would happen and it would be okay. But then if they are that close, she could probably say to her, listen, mate. Linda. Why is everyone Linda today? Emma. Listen, Emma. I've already bought you. No one's mother-in-law is called Emma.

Someone's must be. I bet they're not. Let's go with Linda. Listen, Linda. Linda sounds much more mother-in-lawry. I've already bought your Christmas present and it's already wrapped under the tree so you can't have boots. Sorry. You could say that.

It's too late. It's too late, Claire. You didn't like put in the boundary when you could have done. You didn't speak up. So the 50 quid's on you. What would you do? I don't know. You would let this go.

Firstly, neither my mother-in-law or I would wear a brown suede ankle boots so that wouldn't be a problem. you hone in on the thing that isn't you see this is where we're like we're getting into the stage of marriage where we're out of the honeymoon face this is this is what just happened it's been nearly six years it's a long honeymoon wow we said that a couple of months ago didn't we we've both acknowledged that we were out of the honeymoon phase I tell you when it was I think you came to my house or I came to your house and I didn't have any makeup on and I was in the tracks soon you were like You're not trying to impress me anymore, are you? I'm like, nope. You tried to play it like, you should be really flattered that I come around looking like this. Because that's how much I love you and also don't care. It's true. It's very, very, very few people that I don't have makeup on for.

Same, same. And you are one of them. Yeah. I do feel like I'm in an exclusive group. None of this is helping Claire. But Claire, it's too late to help you. because as you said, it's a dilemma slash rant. You can rant, but it's kind of your own fault.

I don't mean to be mean, but she should have, it's not mean. Claire, because she should have said something in the moment. Can I tell you, she's being so mean today? I just saying, she's missed a period. I think that's probably why I'm going to say. It's been 41 days since I had a period. You've missed the period. The period is gone.

Is it never coming? Go of it. That's one I'm never going to have to have. That's great though, no. No, no, the period is coming, but this one isn't. This one's gone. That means I've missed one. That means that's one less I'll ever have to have.

my life. Great. I think it's making it a bit mean. Do you think it's coming, which is why I'm like this? Or not coming? Do you think it might be my Christmas presents? But you did ovulate this month. Yeah, I did.

So what's that about? Where's the egg gone? The baby Jesus. That would be nice for 2026 in September. What lovely present to have at 48, a brand new baby Jesus. Yeah. August, August. Oh, perfect.

Lovely. Right at the end of the year. Will you leave it back or go for it? Who knows? Will he be younger old for his year? Oh, what a joy to have as you're approaching Fidna. Oh, you could start nursery school runs again. How lovely for me, sleepless night. Yeah.

I would love that. No, but seriously, if you've ovulated and you've got no period, sorry to tell you, but that is a sign of preggers. Let's not. I will fucking kill you if you are pregnant. If you are pregnant. I'm not pregnant. Let's not start the rumor.

I'd be so fucked off with you. Oh, but I'll be fucking. with it but never mind me and ollie will be totally fine with it there's nothing i would like more than to host my final child's bimitsva whilst pregnant with another fourth child as i approach 50 but how old will you be when it's their bimpsba a hundred and eight I was looking in the mirror this morning. Right. Now, I'm having to, I'm going on holiday in a week.

Have I mentioned that? You have a few times, yeah. I'm going on holiday in one week, in seven days. This time next week now, I'll still be here because I've got a night for like, I will be on holiday. But you know those last few days for a holiday, like everything starts to grow out because you're leaving everything. Like your nails.

Your nails and your hair needs my hair needs coloring, my toenails need doing, my waxing needs doing all of it my eyebrows it's all being done i have noticed and they really need doing what i am starting and this is new i am starting to grow eyebrows above my eyebrows okay i'd say that's quite lucky because many women in midwife midwife oh my god where am i going to see what you've done to me now do you see

that's your fault are we looking for a midwife she's on the hunt for a midwife many women in midlife

report sparse brows not furrier brows so I'd say winning no no you're missing the point no

it's like sprouting above my eyebrows so I've now got a second layer of hair Lauren oh I've got a weird thing

growing this is weird i know we talk a lot about my eyelashes since i pulled them out but i noticed this is in the last few months i have got like a few eyelashes growing oh in the corner of my eye i think that's always quite cute what the fuck is that a lot of people have that because when i used to do makeup yeah i noticed that on people it's not a freak thing no no okay but i'm just telling you six months ago i did not have that so that's where i'm growing new Maybe it's from pregnancy I don't think that isn't a sign of early pregnancy

Are you growing random eyelashes? Do your boobs hurt? No, my boobs are fine. Nautious? No. I'm not pregnant. I've had a lot of headaches. I have had a lot of headaches, yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, eyebrows above eyebrows. It's not doing it for you. Well, what's going to happen if I don't get them done? I don't know. And also, because she doesn't do above my eyebrows. We'll ask her to. Okay, I thought I'd leave it for the holidays.

I mean, I've only plop my eyebrows once when I was 13 and I've never done it since. Because I did it once, they never grew back. So it's not a thing for me. I would like to have more eyebrows. You always do this. But I would like to have more eyebrows. You always do this. I'm sorry.

If I say to you, oh, I don't know, I can't think of it. Well, this is a perfect example. But I'd be happy if I was growing more eyebrows. See, it's toxic positivity right there for you. I don't want, I don't want eyebrows above eyebrows. Okay. Okay? Who wants eyebrows above eyebrows?

I've just, I've got eyebrows. Just leave it alone. And you know what? You know what? Right, I don't mind it coming under here, okay? Because that is expected and that is, that's fine. And my eyebrow woman, she comes over and she removes the underneath. But the eyebrows above the eyebrows?

I'm sure she could remove that just as easily. Yeah, but then it's going to be like a weird shadow. No. It is because where's it going to stop? Is my whole forehead going to be covered in this like downy hair now? I think it's still better than growing a beard. Rather have I rather have eyebrows than hair on the chin. I've got hair on the chin. Thanks. Thanks. My meltdown is also about something being too bushy, funnily enough. But it's not your face. It's not my face. It's not your face. No, it's not my face. Olly went out on the weekend. the local garden slash nurseries, garden nurseries with the dog. And he very helpfully chose our Christmas tree and then made the man stand next to the tree

so I could see height proportion and took a photo of it and sent it to me. And I replied back saying, I'm sorry. He was like, I asked for an extra full one. And I replied back to say, I'm sorry, it's too bushy. It's just too bushy. He was like, what the fuck are you talking about? I said, I like a more elegant shape. And if you're going to spend, you know, they're expensive Christmas trees.

How much are Christmas trees? God, they're like 90 quid, 80, 90 quid. What is a tree? It's massive. Yeah, but it's massive. It's like a seven and a half footer. I said, if we're going to actually spend that amount of money on a Christmas tree, it needs to be perfect.

It needs to be elegant. Anyway, he black, he ghosted me. And then he came home from the walk, wash the dog, came in the kitchen and he was like, I just can't even with you. I just don't have thought too bushy. He's like, what? too bushy

that's not a thing what do you want like no needles on the tree just what's the I was trying to be helpful and I thought you know what

he really was trying to be helpful maybe it was his meltdown I was complaining about the tree being too bushy but he asked your opinion

but he was hoping for oh that is a beauty well done then don't ask you know what I mean he said I've chosen our no he said I've chosen our tree

they're delivering it on Saturday with a photo of said tree expecting me to be like Thank you so much. Great, perfect. Oh, he's chosen the tree. Yeah, I've chosen the tree.

And I was like, it's too mushy. So this morning he was like, by the way, if you don't like the tree, you better go and pick your own tree because otherwise I'll be delivering the bushy tree. It's just, it's too rotund. It's too round. Are you know, like an elegant one that tapers. It's not very tapered. It's just too full.

Do you know what I mean? Not triangular enough. I want classic. Classic tapered. Yeah. Okay. Okay. You could trim it.

Why should I have to trim it? No, you shouldn't. When I can just pick one that's the right shape. Is your meltdown that you should have gone to get the tree? I never choose the tree. Why? Because we actually normally leave it to the nursery. We're like, please deliver us a nice tree.

We trust you. And they always do. This year he's gone and chosen it bespoke. You know what? I felt a bit mean because it actually was nice and helpful. But it wasn't. It wasn't right. Oh, nice.

Or helpful. Right. Goodbye, farewell. Our feed is saying good night. Oh, should we sing? No, let's not punish them. Okay. I want to say a big, fat, thank you.

To all of you that have listened, that have written in, that have been part of the conversation, that have sent us your dilemmas, your meltdowns, your feedback, just all of it. The show wouldn't be here if you weren't listening, so we thank you so much for bearing

with us listening week after week to our utter nonsense which you seem to enjoy and we definitely enjoy making it so thank you what she said and a big Merry Christmas a big happy new year we are now signing off for 2026 a couple of you messaged us no no we're only sign me off for 2025 we will be back for we're taking a year off you haven't told me this information are you starting our new podcast with Emma yeah after this are you putting it on the same RSS fee it's called Jim Bunnies with Emma and Nicole. Look out for that, guys. What a shitty name.

You can all hate listen to that. There will not be a podcast about Jim Bunnies or Paddle. Maybe there should be. Maybe there should be, but I won't be hosting it with you. We're signing off for 2025. We're taking two weeks off. You're going on holiday. I'm having a home Christmas.

We're both looking forward to our Christmases. Yep, we are. And I shall miss you. Do you promise? I promise. Listen, what about that when really mundane shit? happens and that we're on totally different times days and I can't just message you with a photo and you immediately respond. I eight hours ahead.

What? You're going to be living a whole day when I haven't even woken up. I know. My Christmas day will be finished by the time yours has started. That's so weird. Isn't that weird? Weird. I feel like you're going to miss me more than I'll miss you. Oh, what? Whatever. No, but it's harder for the person at home, isn't it, than the person that's away? You know what? It's going to be okay. My son's coming home from America. The Lord of Christopher. I'm going to be fine. It was well-timed. It was very well-timed. It's going to be fine. Merry Christmas. Happy Christmas everybody. A happy and a very healthy new year to all of you. And we will be back January 6th with our first episode of 2026. So please look out for that. You'll get a notification.

If you're subscribed, if you haven't subscribed, then please do. And we'll be back next year. See you then. Bye.