40ish - Are We Blaming Everything on Perimenopause? + The WhatsApp Weirdo

Episode Date: October 15, 2026

Brain fog, anxiety, weight gain, poor sleep: is it always perimenopause? This week on 40ish we ask whether we're blaming everything on our hormones, and whether that means other health issues get missed. A recent article questioned whether every symptom in a woman in her 40s should be put down to perimenopause. After decades of women's symptoms being dismissed as stress or "getting older", recognising the impact of oestrogen and hormonal change is vital. But not everything is menopause, and persistent or unusual symptoms deserve proper investigation. Plus: a listener from the sweaty-underboob contingent refuses to join the no-bra movement, and this week's 40ish dilemma asks whether it's rude to leave someone on WhatsApp blue ticks for days. One listener now matches everyone's reply time exactly. Fair play, or WhatsApp weirdo? 40ish is the podcast about the funny, messy and ridiculous reality of life in your 40s. 💌 Send us your dilemmas and rants: [e-mail] 📱 Follow: @40ish.podcast & Substack @The Midlife Club Try AG1 now at https://drinkag1.com/selfcare and get £20 off your first order + 5 AG1 Travel Packs for on the go, a bottle of Vitamin D3+K2, and the Welcome Kit for FREE. No risk with the 30-day money-back guarantee. Find all details about the health benefits in the link. Study results are on file with AG1, 2023. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My rec league goalie says he plays for the love of the game. You gave up six goals last week, Steve? Maybe play to win, huh? Like with Bet365. I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. Steve, Bet365, the home of winning early. Must be 19 and older, Ontario only.

Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca or call 1866-5-3-1-2,600. Terms and conditions apply. New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with a coffee plus range infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like coffee plus B12 to help support immune function, and coffee plus B6 to keep your day moving.

Or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight. Our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover coffee plus on nispresso.com. From the studio that brought you WandaVision. I was an Avenger, but I'm not a hero anymore. It's like I'm losing my...

The Vision returns for the final chapter of the groundbreaking trilogy. That family wasn't real. You sure about that? I had a father called Vision. How is this possible? Am I losing my... Don't miss the two-episode premiere of Marvel Television's Vision Quest. Nothing bonds a family together quite like Mortal Jeopardy.

Now streaming, home on Disney Plus. us. Winking. Yeah. How do we feel about it? Do we like it? Do we not like it? Is it a bit patronising? Is it complimentary? Like, why are people doing it? What's the point of it? And it can mean a whole host of things. How do you feel about winking? There is a slightly uncomfortable conversation happening in the menopause world right now. Are we blaming everything on perimenopause? A recent... Yes. A recent... Let us! We don't have that left. Just let us. I have now started. I have now deliberately waiting the same amount of time to reply to people as they take to reply to me. Oh, God's sake.

EG. If it's immediate, I reply immediately. If it's two days, I wait two days. But now I'm wondering if I've become part of the problem. Hello everybody and a big welcome to 40ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishkon. This is the podcast dealing with midlife. That's it. I'm leaving it as that this week because you know what you're getting by now? Well, not if they're a new listener. I mean, how new can they be? We've been here forever. No, we haven't. We've been here for three years and we always want new listeners, don't we, Lauren? We love new listeners. We do. We love them. So if you have just found us, welcome, big warm welcome. You are very welcome here. We talk about all things at Midlife, every rant, every moan, every joy, every pleasure, everything.

And there are places that you can get more of us. So if you want us ad free and you want early access to this show at Self-Ka-Club, please go over to Apple Podcasts where you can subscribe $4499 a month. And we have started a substack where Lauren writes articles. I'm in the middle of an article, writing one, that is. And we talk about all things Midlife over there. It's called The Midlife Club. So please come and join us.

Search for us over at Substack and all the links are below. Yes. And when we chat about things on this show, we link them in our substack newsletter. So that's where you can find out about joys like Nichols, drying line, pillowcase protectors, the eyeliner that I'm wearing. The new mascara that I bought this week, I'm linking that. Link, link, link, blink, blink. Also, I've got it for like seven quid off at boots.

So I'll stick that in there so you can also get it. What mascara is it? Oh, it's the new Eve's... Salon. Oh. It's called lash something. I'm over. Bougy mascara.

I'm just fucking over it. I've been over them for years. There is no way that a mascara can be any better than my £6.99 L'Oreal mascara. It's just not possible. Which one do you use, though? The purple one. Telescopic? No.

What's it called? Don't know. It's a basic bitch. She does the job. She makes my eyelashes look thicker, longer. It comes off in one wipe without all that bullshit of not being able to get it. Like it's just a great mascara. She stays on all day.

She doesn't move. But I don't need to buy Yvesena on. I don't need to buy Lancel. I don't need to buy Charlotte Tilbury. I just don't need to do this anymore. And I tell this to my kids, they always like, can I have this mascara? No. I have done every single designer mascara that I've had the Chanel, I've had the Dior, I've had the Charlotte,

I've had the Charlotte Tilbury, every single one. I agree with you terrible in comparison to Mabelene in the... Skyline. No, not Skyline. Skyline, no, no, no, in the rose gold bottle. I will link to it in the substack. I swear by it. It's amazing. It's a tenor. It's the best mascara ever. But, but, but then this one came on the market. It's brand new. Everyone was ranting and the raving about how amazing it was. There's no way that a mascara can be that good. Well, you know what? My Maybelean one was about to run out.

This one I got it for seven, eight pounds off. So I thought, I'll give it a bash. It is good, but... How much was it? 25 pounds. With seven pounds off. So it's a 32. pound mascara. That's a lot of money from mascara. But you know what? It is a bit of a bitch to get off. Right. I hate that. Who's got the time? Well, I didn't have the time so I slept in it. That's why you have to have pillow protectors. Yes. I often sleep in my mascara though. You called me unhygienic. Maybe I'm not the unhygienic one. I don't need the pillow protector because I take my makeup off. Maybe that's what it is. It's only the mascara but sometimes I find it looks better the next day. Anyway, I'll link to it. I actually quite like it. It's a fat brush. It's fat. real fat you need two coats I'm not interested

I'm not interested but the Maybelline one's still my favre Right All time Exactly All time Thank you Yeah

I like the skyline one Is it called skyline That's the one In the long thin tube This is like a fat one I like the one in the long thin tube And also because when it goes on It's like a really natural look

So I like it first thing in the morning Like when I go to the gym It's like more of a natural lift Just opens my eyes a little bit Oh I see okay yes The one you're talking about we'll edit this backwards. You're talking about

Maybelline Lash Sensational Sky High Mascarer. Sky High. Right. I'm talking about the one I use is called Lash Sensational Not Sky High. It's a fat tube. Anyway, just tell me about your most portage thing. I don't know how we got onto Mascara.

I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I found a place to wear the white kitten heel courts. Oh, congratulations. Yeah. How were they? Oh, they were actually really cool. I wore them to my father and it was 80th birthday party. Wild. Well, you know what?

We were all in a uniform of white t-shirt, white t-shirt and jeans. So I thought actually, they'd look great. I wore them and my nieces and my nieces are cool, right? They're like in their early 20s. They were like, Auntie Lauren, you look great. I said, thanks, girls. That's so nice of you. Yeah, yeah.

Thank you, girls. I love that. Really appreciate that. They're like, what have you done to yourself? I'm like, nothing. They're like, you look great. Thank you. Really, really appreciate the comment.

So I wore them. Will I ever wear them again? Who knows? They weren't talking about the shoes. They were talking about you in general that you look like. Yeah, yeah. Also, I was like, can we talk about these shoes? Because are they tragic or are they cool?

They were like, no, they're really cool. I was like, okay, great. Would they have told you if they were tragic? I think they would. They wouldn't have said tragic, but they would have said something very diplomatic, like I wouldn't wear them myself. But for you, Auntie Lauren, they're very nice, you know, something like that. They were into it.

So interestingly, I went to a 50th this weekend and I was very stressed about what to wear because apparently I don't stop shopping and I never have anything to wear. So I was going to wear the red cape top. Do you remember out the red cape top? Of course, Superman top. Superman top. It's got tassels from the shoulders to my feet on the back. I mean, that would have been the perfect outfit.

I know, but I put it on and I've just suddenly hate it. No. Why? Is this a post-menopausal thing? Because, as I'm said, that is the... I said, do you like this top? What do you think? He goes, I just think that top is so pretentious.

What? Why? And you know what? Once he'd said it, you know, when you can't unsee something. He's killed it for you. Yeah. And I'm like, he's not wrong. Did he mean it was like a bit main character energy for someone else's party?

I think that's exactly what he meant. And you know what, he's not wrong. He's not wrong. So I didn't wear it. So then I had to come up with some outfit that I've worn a hundred times and I felt disgusting and all the rest of it. So, you know, I never have the right thing to wear. I don't agree with that.

And I don't stop shopping. I think you just didn't feel like you have the right thing to wear, but you always have the right thing to wear. I don't. I just don't think we do. What you do with that red top? What top? Are you never going to wear it the Superman top?

Is that it? How am I going to wear it ever again? Like, it's so, like, where am I wearing it to? I'll wear it to your 50th. I'm not having a 50th. At all? No. At all?

No. Well, you're not going to celebrate your 50th. No. Why? I don't want to. Why? Because I'm planning on getting a second dog for my 50th. So my birthday weekend will be going up to Oxfordshire to the breeders to pick up a puppy and maybe staying overnight.

It's on the nice, that'll be it. That's what I want and come home with my new dog. There's nowhere your husband's going to let that slide. Oh, I've already told him. No party. So you're not doing anything for your 50th? No, I've said I want the new dog. When Bieber's 3, we get a new dog.

Beaver at my 50th because I know where I know. the breeder is going to breed again. I said that's my present. That's what I want. I don't party. I don't want nothing. Yeah. I don't really want anyone to know when I've turned 50. I'm just going to turn it. Why? I just don't. I'm just going to turn 50. I'll be 50. No, I'll know. You'll know, but you won't be able to talk about it. It will. It's March 1st. Shut up. And by the way, I do all the editing. So I have total editorial control. I'm going to put, I'm going to make you sign an NDA for my 50th birthday. Why? My 50th birthday.

You're 49 on March the 1st. You'll be 50 in 2028 on March the 1st. I mean, it's, it's, what, what? You're outing me. You're outing me. For what? For being 50 in 18 months. And also, I am very stressed about what we are going to call this show.

Because 40-ish now feels, or I am stressed about it, regardless of what you think, whether I need to be or not, I am. Okay. So the thing is, is that 40-ish feels very last season. It doesn't. It does. We're both still in our 40s. I am in my 40s for about three more minutes. No, you're not.

Yes, I am. Stop rushing towards this birthday. There's no rush. This birthday is happening. Not yet. Not even this year. It's four months. A long way away.

No, it isn't. It isn't. It isn't. Anyway, I would like to rename the show. I will still be 40-ish. You will still be 40-ish. You'll just happen to be just 50. Just.

Which is still 40-ish. No. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. No, it isn't. It's closer to 40-ish than 50-ish. No, it's actually... 50-ish is like in your 50s.

Yeah, I will be in my 50s. No, you can't, you're not allowed to be. You know what, I'm fine with being in my 50s. I'm ready for my 50s. I am ready for my 50s. I am not even ready for my 40s. You're not joking. Nicole, if you were to start a perfect business for midlife women this holiday season,

what would you create? What would be? the one idea that you can't stop thinking about the perfect project you've always wanted to put out in the world. I would start a really cute outfit brand, especially for paddle with accessories and comfy but stylish clothing for the 40-ish women. But I think launching it would take up so much time and energy just to design it and set up the online store and to make it look appealing. Shopify has pre-built website themes and AI site builder making it easy to launch a beautiful, professional looking store without ever touching a line of code. You also get your own AI e-commerce

expert sidekick that can help you manage almost any business task with a single prompt, including holiday discounts. Launching before Black Friday means that you can take advantage of the extra online traffic. If you're ready to launch your business before Black Friday, go to Shopify.com to start your free trial. That's Shopify.com. Go to Shopify.com today to hear your first. Our fantasy commission says for him it's all about the friendships. Cute, Kevin, but I disagree. Like with Bet365. I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout

and can cash out at any time before the game ends. No hard feelings, Kevin. Just faster payouts from Bet365. The home of winning early. Must be 19 and older. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling,

visit connectsontario.ca. Or call 1866-5-3-1-2600. Terms and conditions apply. New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with a coffee plus range infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like coffee plus B12 to help support immune function, and coffee plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight.

Our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nisproso. From the studio that brought you WandaVision. I was an Avenger, but I'm not a hero anymore. The Vision returns for the final chapter of the groundbreaking trilogy. That family wasn't real.

You sure about that? I had a father called Vision. How is this possible? Don't miss the two-episode premiere of Marvel Television's Vision Quest. Nothing bonds a family together quite like Mortal Jeopardy. Now streaming. Home Yon Disney Plus. My most 40-ish thing is this.

Well, it's not, I don't know if it's a forage thing, but it confuses me. Okay. Winking. Yeah. How do we feel about it? Do we like it? Do we not like it? Is it a bit patronising?

Is it complimentary? Like, why are people doing it? What's the point of it? And it can mean a whole host of things. How do you feel about winking? I am a winker. So, I am. So, not at you, because that would be really weird.

Who do you wink at? I'm going to be people all the time. Who? I've never seen you wink in my entire life. I am a winker and I'm into it. And I think it's fun. Who do you wink at? Strangers.

No, you do. No, you do. You wink at strangers. Yeah. Like what sort of strangers? Okay. I mean, this is again, sound a bit strange, but going back to my father in North's 80th birthday party, the whole family were lined up in the street.

in a very urban area of London, we were all in sailor caps waiting for my father and or two come by. And because there were 20 of us standing in sailor caps in the street, people noticed. So when literal strangers walked by... You were winking. I was like, you know, that really would be in-keeping with the theme.

Yeah, kind of. I'm a fan of a wink. I think it's cute. I think it's fun. I think it's a very easy way of communication. whilst saying nothing. I don't mind being winked at. I would take that as a very banal

and appropriate form of engagement slash flirting. I don't feel threatened by it. I'm down with a wink. You don't like a wink? I think it depends who's winking. Okay. But it's so non-threatening.

I don't mind who's winking at me. Yes, it's non-threatening. I will agree with that. But also, I guess, just because I'm irritated about everything these days. Who's been winking at you? I don't know, people. Just strangers, people, not strangers, people. People you know.

Sort of, people I sort of know. Two people winked at me in the week. Was there any context to the wink? One person I know, I see them a lot. I don't want to say. Okay, okay, you have to say. But, yeah. And I just thought, and they're a lot younger than me. Okay. And I thought, I don't know how I feel about you winking at me actually. I'm finding that condescending and annoying. I think it might be more about you. Do you think?

No, I'm aware. Okay. Who was the other person? The other person was an older guy. Okay. Who I saw him, I think I was walking out of the gym. So you think it's quite... That was fine.

That was absolutely fine. And also he's quite a bit older than me, and so it felt quite sweet and like, you know, like my uncle was winking at me. That felt fine. Yeah. But so it's interesting. So like two people have winked at me and I had a different reaction to both. Maybe you don't like being winked at by the younger generation.

I think that's what's happened. I don't. I don't need your wink. Don't wink at me. I feel like it should come from an older person. I actually enjoy it from both. Do you? Yeah.

I'm an enjoyer of a wink. Do you want to hear the feedback? Yeah. Hi ladies. I'm just listening to last week's show Changing Shoes in the Street episode and I'm afraid. I simply cannot get on board with the no brass situation. jewelry or no jewelry? What on earth were we talking?

I think we were talking about like I said I would be quite into living in a community where you just, it was normal to not wear any tops and I just wear loads of necklaces and I'd be cool with that. Oh yeah. Yeah. Have we completely forgotten about the sweaty underboob?

In the full throes of perimenopause this is not an occasional hazard. It is an absolute certainty every single time I attempt to go brawless. Trying to explain this particular perimenopausal reality to a husband who remains extremely committed to the no brawl movement has also not been one of my finer moments anyway just needed to represent the sweaty underboob contingent absolutely love the podcast genuinely look forward to it every week sarah thank you sarah thank you sarah

sweaty underboob has not been an issue i have had to contend with in life you but i always have a bra on I have a bra run mostly unless it's like Unless I'm sleeping Yeah sleeping or like end of the day Might put my track suit on Yeah Yeah But it doesn't get sweaty

But maybe they're not large enough I'm generally not a sweaty person Even in the gym I don't sweat Well I don't go to the gym But I don't sweat in Pilates No you're not meant to sweat in Pilates No I can get a little bit harsh

No I mean I don't even sweat in paddle Like sometimes like the men They're like dripping in sweat Yeah but men do sweat I just don't swear. But I know a sweaty underboop is a phenomenon and I have heard of women like talcum powdering. It's not a phenomenon.

Well, it's like a thing. It's a real thing. And the women who like put talcum powder underneath the bosom. My dad always used to put talcum powder everywhere. And then the bathroom would always be covered in talcum powder. Can you imagine how much I used to annoy my mum? Oh my God. Because if Adam started with the talcum powder, I'm telling you now,

how I am now, like no, the talcum powder. You would push you over the edge. It's already pushing me over the edge. He doesn't even use the blizzard. You're not allowed to anymore. You know how people used to talc babies? Yeah. You're not allowed to anymore.

It's carcinogenic. Is it? Yeah, you mustn't talc. No one talc. When's the last time you saw talcum powder anywhere in any supermarket or anywhere? I don't even know the point of talcabal is dry wet patches, but that's what a towel is for. Isn't it just dry your skin out?

Well, I think it is like if you've got, like, for your feet or, or underboob. Oh, if it's something that's constantly sweaty, you put, oh, like powder, like face powder. Yeah, I guess. I do have a real core memory of being tiny. So tiny, I was in the bath with my brother, like maybe two or three,

and my grandma always putting talc on us after our bath. Yes. She would warm the towel, wrap us in it, and then put talc on us. Oh, my God, it smelled amazing. It's the best smell. Yeah, but probably wasn't the best for health. I wonder if my dad still uses talcone.

He probably does. because it's probably just like in his... And they still use Imperial soap. Do they? Yeah, a bar of Imperial soap. Love that. Classic. I mean, it's classic, but also I said to them,

why don't you just get some shower gel? Why? I said, because this is like really drying on your skin. It's fine. My skin's fine. He's a soap and water man. Yeah. He likes it that way.

And talc. Okay. Talc. Okay. Okay. I don't know how you're going to feel about this midlife news. But here it is. This is the headline.

Midlife women and GPs must stop blaming every problem on peri menopause. There is a slightly uncomfortable... Oh, okay. It's the woman's fault, is it? No, no, it's not. There is a slightly uncomfortable conversation happening in the menopause world right now. Are we blaming everything on perimenopause? Yes.

A recent article... Let us! We don't have that left. Just let us! A recent article in Statt, which is a US health publication, has reignited the debate. arguing that the growing perimenopals movement can sometimes turn to a huge range of non-specific symptoms into evidence that our hormones are to blame. Brain fog, weight gain, poor sleep, anxiety, exhaustion, dry skin, low mood. The list can feel endless. The authors make a very important

point. These things can absolutely happen during perimenopals, but they can also be caused by stress, ageing, lifestyle, burnout, depression, medication or other medical conditions. In other words. Being a woman in your 40s doesn't automatically mean that every weird thing your body does is because your estrogen has packed a bag and left the building. They give one particularly striking example of a woman whose persistent itching was initially attributed to perimenopause, but who was later diagnosed with an underlying medical condition. One told of new vaginal bleeding, another of pain while peeing, another had sudden weight loss. All these symptoms could be due to perimenopause, but they could all be signs of cancer too. Crucially. Great. Great.

None of these women have been tested for anything else. Instead, they'd been handed HRT. The argument was if we automatically blame every symptom on hormones, there's a risk of missing something else that needs investigating. That's fair. That's fair. But there is another really important side to this. For decades, women have had genuine perimenopal symptoms dismissed, being told that they're stressed, anxious, depressed and tired

because they have children or they're getting old. So now we are recognizing it is a huge step forward. the British Menopause Society made a similar point to the doctors. Please don't dismiss genuine menopal symptoms, but also don't assume every symptom in midlife women is menopause either. I was just about to say that is a fair balanced approach. Yes. Yes.

Why wouldn't you do that anyway? Yeah. I think the worry is like it's become such a huge conversation that whatever it is, because there's so many, like what, 72 known symptoms, whatever it is, it's like, oh, it's perimenopause, but it actually could be something else completely. Well, I think if it's like when you break your leg or something like that, then, you know, and or you've hurt your back or it's not always. Oh, but you see, you could break your leg and you could say, well, because your estrogen's so low. That you were more clumsy.

Your bone density. I don't think the perimenopause helps with anything physically that's going on for you. It's not going to be on your side, is it? So if your estrogen is low and then you have a thyroid. problem or something, then it's just going to be exacerbated. Yes. Also, your thyroid often packs in around menopause anyway. You see what I mean?

That was just the first thing I thought of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tricky. It's all tricky. That's why we do this show. Okay, this is from Julie this week's dilemma. I just feel like, I don't know. I'm a little scared, if I'm honest.

I'm a little scared to read it to you because this is going to hit a lot of buttons for you. It could be triggering for you. What I'm saying is if a wink is, triggering for you. This is going to be triggering for you. Hi Lauren and Nicole. I need to know if I am a WhatsApp weirdo because my husband says I am nuts when I told him about this. I have a real problem with people not replying to my WhatsApps. If I send a message and it is blue ticked but I don't get a reply immediately, I assume they are busy or it's low priority. If it's been two or three days, I will chase it or follow it up if it's an arrangement.

And then they normally eventually reply like nothing has happened. The thing is, I know they've seen it and that they've been on their phone. I know they've probably sent 20 other WhatsApps in that time. Yes. I have now started deliberately waiting the same amount of time to reply to people as they take to reply to me. Oh, for God's sake. EG. If it's immediate, I reply immediately.

If it's two days, I wait two days. but now I'm wondering if I've become part of the problem. Am I a WhatsApp weirdo for keeping track of how long people take to reply? And is it rude to leave someone on blue ticks for days when you've clearly seen the message? Thank you, Julie. It's so weird that this has come in, Julie, because I had a conversation with my friend yesterday, my gorgeous friends, she's one of my best friends, Sarah, and she sent me a message on Thursday.

can I walk Saturday morning? And I had completely and utterly missed it. And I didn't see it until first thing on Saturday morning. And I was like, oh my God, I haven't seen this. Yes, I can. Are you free? And then we were laughing about the fact that I'm doing this more and more. Like I'm just not seeing her messages. And she was like, what's going on? And I said, I am so overwhelmed with WhatsApp. Like the amount of stuff that comes in, it takes so long to get through everything and clear everything and think about how many WhatsApp messages you get a day, all the groups that you're on.

I'm on all these paddle groups. They're like, they are going... That is rather overwhelming. I mean, I've archived maybe eight of the groups anyway, so I don't see a lot of them, but the stuff that I am active on, you want to see. And I said to her, I

am struggling to keep up with the amount of messages. So I am that person that I'm either replying immediately or I'm not replying. Because if I haven't seen it, I haven't seen it. But the only important point in that is, it's not personal. You're not doing it because you don't want to. Of course it's not personal. But I am finding I'm taking longer and longer to get back to people because I'm finding the amount of WhatsApps that come in just completely unmanageable. I had 45 unread messages the other day and that's when I found her, that's when I

found her message. So it's not personal. I think we're just all completely overloaded with notifications, with messages, it's too much. And I think the other problem is, is that we have now become a society that is absolutely used to and expecting immediate response to everything. There is no more, I will send a letter and in three to five days I'll get a reply.

There's no more, I'll leave a message on your answer phone and when you get home, you'll call me back. Everyone is expected to be in communication constantly. And to be able to see everything constantly. Right. But it's not realistic. It's not fair and it's also overwhelming. Because it's not that you don't want to reply to your friend

or you don't want to see them or make the arrangement, but you may have a million other things going on and you just miss it or you get round to it later. It doesn't, it's, I don't think, Julie, that you should be taking it personally. I don't think weirdo is a very nice thing to call yourself. I don't think you're a weirdo, but I definitely don't think you should be like measuring your response time by their response time. Just reply when you want to reply.

and don't read anything into it. Yes, to all of that. I completely agree with all of that and everybody is completely overloaded. Yeah. Because you get notifications coming in from every which way. Now, last week I got a WhatsApp from Relay,

as in the delivery. Yeah, yeah. Your package is coming like, why are they WhatsApping me? Just deliver the fucking package. You need to notify me. Like, it's that. I don't need that.

Yeah. It's a whole other thing. Yeah. Oh, you get it, you get it from all angles. That's what I'm saying to you. And then sometimes, you know, the amount of emails that you can miss. And Gmail's brilliant because it will then pop something to the top of your feed saying, do you want to reply?

You haven't replied in four or five days. Like, I love that. I need that. So if someone's then going to reply to me saying, did you see my message? That's super helpful. Well, sometimes you get those messages. Oh, just popping this to the top of your inbox. So, okay, thank you.

Because you just can't keep on top of everything. You also know of your friends and family who is an immediate reply and who is maybe like a next day reply. I have some friends who are like a three day reply. Hold on. You lost the plot a couple of weeks ago with me because I hadn't replied to you about something. What was it? Remember? And then I was on the paddle call and I got this weird text message.

I got this WhatsApp from you saying, I mean I'll never find it if I look back to it now. But it was something. I was like, are you ghosting me? Are you ghosting me whenever But then you got a little bit like snarky Like well whenever it is that you get over Whatever it is I've done to upset you Then just get back to me

I've never had a message like that from you And I was like what the actual hell is this Why did that happen? Something happened Nothing happened from my end I maybe hadn't replied to you about something I mean I never do that Anyway I thought I'm going to reply to her, I'm going to just call her. No, you just rang me, you were like, what? I'm like,

you're not speaking to me, you're like, why would I not be speaking to you? What? What are you talking about? Yeah. I was like, oh, okay. You're like, well, I haven't spoke to your weekend and I haven't this and I haven't that, but it's been the weekend we often don't speak over the weekend. I was like, okay, actually, it's fine. I don't know how I got there. Yeah. There must have been a way I got there. Yeah. I don't normally do that. In seven years, you've never, ever sent me a message of that ilk at all. So it was probably about something else entirely. Well, I don't. Well, I don't know. Anyway, we sorted it out pretty quickly. But also, like, if I'm not replying to you, then I'm just not generally replying to people. Yeah, I mean, you do normally reply to me,

but you do know those people who take two or three days and it's not about you. It's just there are people who take three days to reply to a WhatsApp. Absolutely. And I'm fine with that. Of course. Unless it's like, I need to speak to you tomorrow or is this happening today, like, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I just think it is an absolute case of people being overloaded. I agree. Julie, don't overthink it. And thank you for your message. Okay, I think that's our show. Can we go and have lunch now?

Yeah, we can. Hungry. Oh gosh, it's late. I'm also hungry. Yeah. Okay. Quazas, we're going to see you on Tuesday. Have a lovely weekend.

Have a gorgeous weekend. Please keep your messages coming in. Hello at 40ish.com.com. We will read them. Yeah. We won't leave you on red. Yeah. We won't ghost you.

My regly goalie says he plays for the love of the game. You gave up six goals last week, Steve. Maybe play to win, huh? Like with Bet365. I get paid the second my team goes out big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. Come on, Steve. Bet365, the home of winning early.

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