40ish - Body Con Frock or Birkenstock and Where did I park the Car?

Episode Date: November 7, 2024

This week on 40ish Nicole is losing everything, Lauren has created a quiz to test how middle aged you (Harry Styles or New Bathroom Tiles? Victoria Secret or Victoria Sponge?)  A woman’s brain fog causes her to lose her own car and a listener has a dilemma on the Eurostar.  We would love to hear from you!  To share your dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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You can now make the first move or not. With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Blow job or blow dry? Blow fucking dry. I mean, not, you know. Victoria's Secret or Victoria's Sponge?

Victoria's Secret or Victoria's Sponge? And you know what? It feels very middle-aged. It feels very off-brand. But I also feel very comfortable with it. I'm too old for TikTok. You're not too old for TikTok. Don't say such things. She probably sees her partner's bits every day.

What do you mean? I hope it's not her husband's genitals. That would be terrible. Hello everybody, welcome to 40ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishkon. This is the podcast that navigates the challenges and absurdities of 40-something life and it solves all of your dilemmas. Or at least we attempt to. Every episode we discuss your problems, issues, rants that you've kindly shared with us and also divulge some of our own stories about our own mess of navigating midlife. Sometimes it's messy.

It's all, it's often messy. And busy. Mm-hmm. Mucky. 40-ish life is busy and chaotic and loud and overbearing sometimes and overwhelming also. All of the above. It is. There's just a lot to do. There's always so much to do, don't you find yes constantly constantly what's going on with you this week I'm going to tell you something Lauren that you are not

going to believe and I'm going to tell you that it was it's absolutely true yeah I feel like you

are very much influencing me now uh oh and I feel like this is very very middle aged I feel really responsible i think you're going to be really proud have you bought a wooden spoon and a rubber spatula no

no but yeah now that you say it yeah a wooden spoon and this is not what i wanted to tell you a wooden spoon has somehow weirdly appeared in my drawer. Did you plant it? Did you? You fucking did, didn't you? On the dog's lines, I didn't. And can I tell you though? I'm going to show you what we get home. But can I tell you what's weird? As I was in John Lewis last week and I actually went to buy you a wooden spoon and a rubber spatula.

No, and I've got a rubber spatula. And I couldn't find them. And I thought, this is crazy. How have they not got any in John Lewis? You have actually manifested a wooden spoon and a rubber spatula into my kitchen drawer. Swear to God. Because I didn't have one before, did I? No.

You've looked, haven't you? You've looked. You've told me. And I thought, this is nuts. I'm in John Lewis. I'm just going to buy you both items. They didn't have them. They didn't have them. I prefer something from one of the makeup counters. I know you John Lewis. I'm just going to buy you both items. So sweet. They didn't have them. I prefer

something from like one of the makeup counters. I know you would, but this is more useful. Okay, that's weird. Anyway, what were you going to tell me? I've forgotten. Oh no, I remembered. Okay. I had a dinner party the other day and you know what I did? What?

I picked flowers and I put them on the table from my garden rather than going to waitrose look at her look at her i actually went into my garden yeah picked flowers yeah put them in a vase yeah put water in them and tablescaped the table with flowers from my garden I am so here for that what do you think about that I'm so impressed you actually went into the garden

noticed that you have nice flowers cut them and tablescaped they're still on my table so you can come in and spend them later I will well done did you feel a sense of pride and warmth They're still on my table so you can come in and spend them later. I will. Well done. Thank you.

Did you feel a sense of like pride and warmth? I was so happy that I hadn't spent like 15 quid in M&S or Waitrose on some flowers. Yeah. And actually using the flowers from my garden. I'm loving this for you. Who are you? Well, okay, full disclosure. Yeah. Waitrose had run out of flowers it'd run out of flowers

and then i had to pop to my mum so i went to waitress and i had to pop to my mum's and i said waitrose has run out of flowers i've got loads of people coming for dinner what am i going to do she said just take some from the garden i'm like mum that is a genius idea oh benita she knows the right thing to do i was so proud i even photos of them. I sent them on the family group. It was a whole thing. This is very, very, very off brand for you and quite middle aged. But I am here for it. I think it's a good move forward.

I do too. And you know what? It feels very middle aged. It feels very off brand. But I also feel very comfortable with it. I am rubbing it for you. This is great. You like that? Yeah. Just before we dive into your dilemmas, a quick disclaimer. We're not doctors or healthcare

professionals. This is just a fun space where we share our thoughts, which could be totally wrong. And sometimes are, but that's okay. It's fine. So if there is an issue that you are seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified expert. What's our first dilemma today? It's called, am I losing my mind or is this the start of brain fog?

Okay. Okay? Okay. Okay. She says, I had a few errands to run the other day. Popped to the stationery shop, the chemist, the bank, etc. I started with the chemist and when I was done, I walked back to my parked car only to find it wasn't there. I walked up and down the street. Nothing. I couldn't find it. I went to another side street that I occasionally park in and again, it wasn't there.

I noticed there were parking restrictions in the road, so I thought it must have been towed. I called the council. They explained that it was outside of the permit hours, so there was no way they had the car and they had no record of it. They suggested I call the police and report it stolen. I started to panic. I called my husband to come and rescue me and then proceeded to dial 999. Whilst on the phone to the police, my husband arrived to pick me up. I get in the car and we start to drive home.

The police took notes and asked lots of questions about the make, the model, time of day, postcode. As I was in mid-panic and answering the police, my husband noticed the very car I was reporting to the police sat outside the stationery shop. Oh my God. Not only had I forgotten where I parked the bloody car, I even forgot to go to the shop itself. I sheepishly told the police that I had to go and sat in the car humiliated

whilst my husband shook his head and simply said nothing. Am I going mad or is this the start of brain fog? Yes, it is. Do you know what? I know for a fact that is a hormonal thing because exactly the same thing happened to me just after I gave birth to my first baby. I drove to the baby weighing clinic, took the baby in to be weighed, came out and my car had been stolen because it was not where I

had parked it. I called the police. I reported it stolen. And then after panicking, calling my husband, having hysterics about this baby and the buggy and the car being stolen, found my car in a different road where I had parked it. Just, your brain just falls out. It just falls out. So what did you do? Did you phone the police back? Well, they didn't really seem to take it very seriously.

So I hadn't gone through the whole rigmarole that this poor lady had been through. I was absolutely mortified. I was so convinced. Well, she was obviously very, very convinced that the car had been towed or stolen and obviously wasn't where she normally parks it. Yeah. Although once I was at a birth, I parked my car and I came out and it wasn't there. And I thought, oh, God, I've done it again. But it actually had been towed.

So at that time, it was real. So at that point, you don't know whether you can trust yourself or not. No, you don't. See, I resonate heavily with this. You do? Heavily. Because this is the sort of shit that I could do now.

Just completely forget about where my car is. I don't feel like you would do that. It's much more me than you. Also, there is something on your iPhone. I don't know about an Android. I showed it to you, didn't I?

It's a parked car. And you don't even have to do anything just comes up it's in your google maps yeah so i would say to her by the way she obviously didn't know this because you can track your car of where you parked it's amazing is it in google maps i think it's just google maps and you don't have to press a button or set anything up it just does it it just knows where your car is i find that deeply deeply reassuring it's difficult when you're in like a westfield shopping center that panics me but i take a photo now oh do you i take a photo of where i parked it yeah because i'm never going to remember sometimes what i do is i write on my

phone d like the the letter where the car where i know i've parked it in the car park so i know to go but then sometimes don't you like look at your phone like weeks later like why have I written d no because I'm so anal I obviously delete everything from my phone notes once I've completed them yeah but when you're in brain fog you won't remember to do that I'll never be in that part of brain fog I just it can't happen to me because I will fall apart it is what it is Lauren sorry to tell you but it is what it is do you know how much brain fog i've had this week i can't even begin to tell you i've lost two pairs of glasses two i'm now not wearing glasses because i don't have any now you're just blind i'm actually not blind i'm thinking do i actually even need them i do occasionally like when i'm driving at night i need them um i've lost two pairs of

glasses i've lost um i've lost so many random clothes i've lost my mascara i've lost so many random clothes. I've lost my mascara. I've lost so many things. I can't stand it. It makes me feel like I'm falling to pieces. I even lost the fucking dog this week. Yeah, that was special. Although that wasn't actually your fault. That was her own fault.

I know, but it wasn't great. And then I suddenly didn't care about the mascara. Suddenly enough. Suddenly the mascara didn't seem that important. I'll just go to Charlotte Tilbury and get another one. Seriously, I'm like losing everything. My friend, I went round to her house the other day because we were going on a dog walk.

And as I walked in, she's getting the dog ready and her alarm goes off on her phone. So I'm like, why is your alarm going off? She goes, oh, I set it to remind me to do things. I was like, well, what's it reminding you to do? She goes, I can't remember. I said,

why don't you put on reminders? She's like, oh no, because then I forget. I'm like, but you haven't remembered anyway. It's not a foolproof system. There was a story the other day

about a woman who went to the vet for her dog, went into the vet and then realised that she hadn't actually brought the dog. That's brilliant, isn't it? It was such a pain in the arse. That's a brain fog thing.

The brain fog thing, it just like literally takes over. You can't explain it. It is literally like a fog goes into your brain and you can't think clearly. I think I had a glimpse of it last week. I was in the kitchen. I was in the middle of telling Ollie some story. I was mid-flow, absolutely in the middle of the story, getting to the point of the story. And then I just stopped. He looked at me and I said,

I actually can't remember why I'm telling you this story. And it was gone. It was gone. He said, it's okay. You'll remember. And then he changed the story. And it just, it was gone. It was gone. He said, it's okay. You'll remember. And then he changed the subject and then suddenly it came back and it was fine. Honestly, mid flow. No, no, I don't know why I'm telling you. Why am I telling you? It's quite scary. I was talking, I don't know who it was. It might've even been you. It's very likely. I forgot the word stairs. No, it wasn't me right stairs wow i said you know the

thing that you go up that takes you from downstairs to upstairs and then someone was like a lift not a lift you walk up it and it's obviously it's so generic and ordinary that no one thinks to say stairs and then about two hours later it came to me and i just texted them stares that's really bad that's brain fog that's really bad brain fog wow okay so it's awful this lady you're not going mad it's you know what you are really not i'm gonna look into the camera you are not not going mad. I am with you. I understand. I resonate. This is the fucking menopause.

And it ain't fun. So you know what? You have my heart. You have my compassion. All of our understanding, doesn't she? Everyone that's listening to this understands and gets it. Or you're going to get it if you don't get it now. Well, you will get it. Eventually you'll get it.

I'm sorry. I know it sounds awful, but it is what it is. Sorry. It is what it is sorry it is what it is you are welcome okay i've got a great new quiz i love a. No, I only like the quizzes on this show. I didn't like them on Self Care Club. Why? It was too hard. I think they were a bit highbrow. Oh, this.

This is much more in my remit. I wouldn't call this highbrow. Okay. Okay. It's a question. There are 10 questions and it's to test how middle-aged you are.

We've done this before. It's a different quiz. Did you make it up? Maybe. Did you make it up? I might have done. Do we get a point for being middle-aged you are. We've done this before. It's a different quiz. Did you make it up? Maybe. Did you make it up? I might have done. Do we get a point for being middle-aged or not being middle-aged? Well, you choose.

Well, last time we got a point for being middle-aged. Okay. So I think we get a point for not. Being middle-aged. Okay. Or maybe we get a point for being middle-aged and then the least points, the better. Okay. Or not the better.

I don't know it's too much on my brain you decide this is a quick fire quiz you have to answer one or t'other you can't choose

like I don't know both but one or t'other okay why has it got to be so many rules about it why can't we just have a bit of fun

why has it got to be pressured there's no fun no fun allowed no no listen there's not listen this show is about bringing fun to midlife that's what this show Why can't we just have a bit of fun? Why has it got to be pressured? There's no fun. No fun allowed. No, no, no. Listen. No fun. Listen.

This show is about bringing fun to midlife. That's what this show is all about. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am going to have fun. Whether you like it or not. And also with the rules.

Stop with the rules. It's my quiz and I've made the rules. That's like being on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and being like like oh no just i'll just take whatever money you want and just answer b and c who wants to be a millionaire has been commissioned by some massive itv channel with commissioning editors and production teams and everything else this is my quiz you made up on your kitchen table rude My quiz could be commissioned by middle-aged people everywhere. Let's see, shall we? Ready,

steady, go. Bodycon frock or Birkenstock? Bodycon frock. Or Birkenstock. Is it rhyme? Is that why you put frock rather than dress? Maybe, yes. Bodycon frock or Birkenstock? Yes. Bodycon frock or Birkenstock? Love it. Stop delaying. I wear both.

You have to choose one. But I, is it one or the other? Yes. What, for every day of my life? Just which. When I say those two things, which do you prefer? Which do I prefer?

Yes. Well, I think the Birkenstock is more useful. I like a bodycon dress. Which are you choosing? Otherwise you get zero points. Bodycon. You're choosing bodycon frock. Okay.

Well, only because you're going to choose the Birkenstock. I'm obviously choosing Birkenstock. Blow job or blow dry? Blow fucking dry. I mean, not a, you know. Victoria's Secret or Victoria's Sponge? I actually don't like Victoria's Secret. I find them very overpriced and their bras don't fit me properly.

You also don't like Victoria's Sponge, so you're stuck, aren't you? I do like a Victoria's Sponge. Do you? Yeah, who doesn't like a Victoria's Sponge? Are you marking down the points? I'm not. Hen night or early night? Early night.

All day long. Yours? Early night. Early night. All day long. Yours? Early night. Yeah. TikTok or nonstick walk? Nonstick walk. When did you make this up? Nonstick walk.

Was this Sunday? Was this what you did on Sunday? No, did it week three. Well, TikTok, with all due respect, we're doing quite well on TikTok at the moment. But do you care about TikTok? Well, yes. Yes, I care about TikTok. No, you have to care about TikTok.

You have to care about TikTok. I'll tell you why. Yeah. Because she doesn't get it. She still doesn't understand that we are in a content space. I'm too old for TikTok. You're not too old for TikTok. Don't say such things.

I am. I'm older than you. Colin Bridgerton or Colin from Accounts? That is hard. It really is because we love dogs, but we also love Colin Bridgerton. Although actually I prefer the other Bridgertons. You know, he's not my favourite Bridgerton. He's not my favourite Bridgerton. Although actually I prefer the other Bridgertons. You know, he's not my favourite Bridgerton.

He's not my favourite Bridgerton either. I mean, he's not the Duke. No, but he is. I just want to be a Bridgerton. I'm going with Colin Bridgerton. You? Colin from Accounts. Keeping up with the Kardashians or keeping up with the laundry?

Oh, I hate both. I actually hate both. I'm going laundry. But you know what? I love it when I've kept up with laundry. It actually gives me a dopamine hit. Me too. It's actually a hit of dopamine.

How sad is that? Love Island or New Kitchen Island? New Kitchen Island. Delicious. Harry Styles or New Bathroom Tiles? God. New Bathroom Tiles. I wouldn't know what to do with Harry Styles,

can't be honest. Let's not go there again. I think I'd be terrified. Tequila shot or Ocado slot? Depends which slot. Any slot I want. Any slot I want. Any slot you want. I don't like tequila slot shots.

Oh, I actually do. I mean, I like it in a margarita. Which are you picking? I'm actually finding this hard because I genuinely enjoy both of those things. Is it like if I choose one, I can't ever have the other again? Yeah. Then definitely a cardo slot. Okay. There you go. a Cardo slot. Okay.

There you go. That's our quiz. Who won? No idea, but I'm definitely more middle-aged than you. But I'm surprised. I don't think you are. But I'm surprised about the Victoria sponge. Why?

Because I thought you would be down with Victoria's Secret. You think I wear all this sexy lingerie, don't you? Yeah, I thought you'd be like, yeah, I've got 85,000 of their pink thongs. Why would you think I wear sexy lingerie? It's just your vibe, isn't you? I thought you'd be like yeah I've got 85,000 of their pink thongs. Why would you think I wear sexy lingerie? It's just your vibe isn't it? It's not though. Okay.

To the point where this is TMI this is what we seem to do here. Yeah. I buy Do you buy a five pack from M&S?

No. Oh. Worse. It can't be. It is. Primani. Yeah. Five pack from Primani. Yeah yeah i realized i i'm actually sporting a new five pack today and i bought the wrong size and they're basically like

just hanging off me so they're really really not they're not lacy though if that helps okay that's good that's good do you buy a five pack from M&S? Sometimes. Are you wearing them today? Yes. I can confirm. Are they lacy? They're not. They're plain black cotton, but they have lace around the edge. You know what?

I don't often... Does that count? Right, like... You don't often see my knickers? Is that what you're about to say? Yeah, which is not something I should need to point out. But I don't often see your knickers. Is that what you're about to say? Yeah, which is not something I should need to point out. But I don't often see your knickers. No.

They are exactly how you would imagine my knickers to be. That's what I was just about to say. I bet your knickers are just the normal, not the bikini cut, like the normal. What's the normal cut? That is a bikini cut. Bikini cut. Like a bikini bottom. Yeah. Bikini cut, like the normal, what's the normal cut? That is a bikini cut. Bikini cut. Like a bikini bottom. Yeah, bikini cut.

Yeah. Plain colours. You probably have them in black, white, grey, maybe the odd pink, but you probably don't wear them very often. Spot on. I swear to God I don't know this. Spot on. And they're just comfortable and they're practical.

Yeah. And that is the end of it. Correct. And when you go out on a Saturday night or weekend you've got a nice outfit on you'll probably, probably put some nice lingerie on then but not in the week.

Ten points. Right. Yeah. But always, always, always with a corresponding colour bra. Doesn't have to be a matching set but there would not be like... So you wouldn't wear

white knickers and a black bra? Never. No. I am actually wearing white knickers and a black bra never no I am actually wearing white knickers and a black bra wow you're mixy matchy no I just

I just I just and you know some people say oh you're in an accident yeah what is that what if you're in an accident

and they have to take your clothes off who cares such a weird can I just tell you I've spent quite a lot of time with paramedics and I can tell you the least of their issues is whether your bra and knickers match.

And also, I don't care if you see me in non-matching underwear. I don't understand why people care so much. It's a generational thing. It's not. It's weird. A lot of my peers say this. Is it a 40-something thing? I think it's a 40-something thing.

Always wear matching underwear. Well, you do. I don't wear a matching set, but they have to both be the same colour. Yeah. Why? What happens if they're not? I haven't tested that theory out. I think you should. I think this week your challenge is to wear white

knickers and a black bra. I couldn't. So have you got gray bras are they or they just been overwashed i used to be white i do have a couple of gray like sports bras yeah sports bras yeah for all the sport i do that was that was unexpected you have a sports bra i've got quite a few sports bra Like if I'm wearing a sweatshirt on a Sunday afternoon, I don't want to put on a proper structured bra. It's basically like a crop-toppy sports bra-y kind of thing. When I don't need to hoik them and push them up,

I just need something so they're not dangling by my knees, I would wear that. You know? You know what I mean. Sadly, I do. Okay. Let's get on to the next dilemma. The title of this dilemma is

Do I tell my friend what I saw? Oh no, what does she see? This is her email. I hope it's not her partner's bits. She probably sees her partner's bits every day. What do you mean? I hope it's not her husband's genitals. That would be terrible.

What do you mean? Her friend's partner's bits why would you go there in your head because say this say the topic again do i tell my friend what i saw exactly so i hope it wasn't her friend's partner's bits that is really weird is it yeah i don't think that's weird why is that weird i just My head didn't go there. Where did your head go? My head actually went to where this is going, but not, obviously not, I don't know the details until I read it properly. Dear Laura and Nicole, she says.

Not my name. Her name is Lauren. Well, her name is Lauren. Do you get called Laura a lot? A lot, yeah. Because I get called Nicola. Yeah, but equally as annoying. It's also not my name.

Not my name. You might as well call me Susie. Or just call me Jill. Jilly. I'm going with that today. I'm feeling quite jilly. Jill and Susie. Feeling quite jilly.

Okay, Jill and Susie. Dear Jill and Susie, please tell me what you would... Hello, welcome to Fawziish. I'm Jill. I'm Susie. Oh no, I'm Susie. I'm Jill.

Please tell me what you would do in this situation. I've spoken to my husband about it, but as you may be unsurprised to hear, he's been completely useless. Oh God. What has happened? What has he seen? We saw a friend's husband on the Eurostar

on the way back from Paris with another woman. Right. Well, I mean, it could be a colleague. I was sitting about six seats behind them, so they didn't see me. I didn't see them kissing or anything awful, but I also know he does not have a job where he travels. We're not best mates. They are a couple that we see a few times a year.

So do I mention this to her or keep it to myself? a year. So do I mention this to her or keep it to myself? So to clarify, she didn't see her friend's partner's bits. No, but she may have seen her friend's partner's bit on the side. No, I'm sorry. There are so many things that that could be. It could be completely innocent. It really could be. Adam, his work, he does travel and he does often travel with other women. I know that sounds, but he does.

But he does have a job where he travels a lot. Doesn't Ollie travel with other women? Yes. Well, there you go. So someone could very likely see Adam on the Eurostar with Alex or other women that he works with. But if a friend phoned you and said, listen, I don't know how to tell you this, but I saw Adam on the Eurostar with a woman, you'd be like, yeah, because he travels for work all the time with women. But she's saying this guy doesn't travel for work.

If they're not that close, right, they see each other a couple of times a year. How does she know if he travels for work? Really sorry. He might be a window cleaner plumber furrier i don't know where that came from somebody makes fur coats a furrier they actually might travel they might need to travel to buy the furs i don't know where that job came from he might have a job that is based at home. And what I find interesting is that you think it's weird that I said, that I went to, oh, I hope she didn't see her friend's partner's bits. That's apparently weird. But suddenly, out of nowhere, coming up with a furrier,

which I've never even fucking heard of, that's not weird at all. It is weird. I've just admitted it's weird. It's very weird. But've just admitted it's weird. It's very weird. But would you say something? Okay. If he was a furrier, I'd have a big problem with that.

That's the first thing. I don't think there are many left. Okay, let's say this is you. Let's say this is your mate who you're not like bezies with, but you do see them a few times a year. You know for fact, for fact for fact

her husband works in WH Smith's on the high street he does not travel for work you see him on the you're with Adam coming back from Paris

and you see him I've actually got friends in mind I've actually got friends in mind yeah and I'm thinking we're not so close

but we see them enough. And yes, he does not travel for work. But if I saw him on the Eurostar with another woman, and there was nothing untoward going on, and I could see in their body language that it wasn't flirtatious or touchy-feely. She doesn't say that. Well, she says she didn't see them kissing. No.

So presumably there was, otherwise she would have said the body language seemed a bit suspect, but she hasn't said that. So let's assume it wasn't. Yeah. I honestly would not think anything of it. It's like if someone saw me on the Eurostar with James and then someone calls Adam up to say, oh, I saw her on the Eurostar.

I don't know. The friend could be hearing you saying, love you, James. And that could be problematic because we do say that a lot. Yeah friend could be hearing you saying, love you, James. And that could be problematic because we do say that a lot. Yeah, but Adam also understands my relationship with James. So does everyone that listens to this podcast

and Self Care Club understands my... It's not about me and James. Don't make it weird. I'm just saying, I think there's a lot of reasonable explanations as to why he's on a eurostar with another woman and just because he's with another woman doesn't mean he is cheating on his wife so would you say to aforementioned wife i would say i saw her oh guess what i saw martin on the eurostar the other week you would he was with a lot of furs he must have been shopping

he must have been shopping for fur. No. Oh, yes, exactly. I said, oh, funnily enough, I saw Martin. He didn't see me because I was sitting behind him. But then you're planting a seed that might not necessarily need to be planted. Listen, if she doesn't reply with, oh, yes, he was going to buy more stationery for his stationery shop in Paris. If she's like, what?

Martin hasn't been to Paris. Then he might have been to Amsterdam. It was coming back from Paris, she says. Oh, she said. Okay. I wouldn't mention it. My first thing, my first thought is that it doesn't mean it's suspicious just because he's with the opposite sex. I agree with that.

You could be with the same sex and it could be suspicious or not suspicious. Totally true. So that's irrelevant. And I think be careful how you go. I wouldn't call up and say, oh, just so you know, I feel like I need to tell you. It's how you set it up. If you feel like you need to say something. If I saw one of my friend's husbands with another woman on the Eurostar,

honestly, I would not feel the need to tell her in case he's cheating. I have to say I would not mention it at all. I just wouldn't mention it. I would just notice it and keep it to myself. I wouldn't say a word. It's not my business. Never stick your oar in other people's marriages. Never stick your oar in other people's marriages.

I think I agree with that. You have no idea what is going on there. No idea at all. It could be nothing. It could be everything. It could be something in between. Either way, none of your business. Yeah, it's none of your business.

Sorry, listener. We don't often agree, so that was very weird. If I saw Ollie on the Eurostar with another woman. That's very likely. Yes. Because he's travelling all the time. But I would never, I promise you now, would never think that he was cheating on you.

I think you are enough woman for Ollie. I don't think Ollie needs another woman in his life, does he? No, I don't think he's got the time or bandwidth. If you saw Adam on the Eurostar with another woman, would you think... You just wouldn't. I would assume he was travelling for work, which he does a lot. Exactly.

It wouldn't be at all weird. Exactly. But I also would say hi to him. Yeah. Yeah, so would I. Yeah. Okay. We've solved that.

We really have. Don't say anything. Good for us. Well, it doesn't mean it's the right answer. Because you could ask someone else. And they could say something completely different. Yeah. I feel like it's the right answer.

I do too. What happened with the quiz? Who won? I don't know. We can't remember. No. Thank you for listening. So, we have a few requests, don't we?

They're small. They are small. Firstly, you need to follow and subscribe to this show. Please. That's really, really important. All you have to do is hit the cross at the top of the screen. Or the tick. Sometimes it's a cross, sometimes it's a tick.

It depends on your platform. Sometimes it's follow. Yeah. Whatever. Just do that. Yeah. But don't unfollow. No. or the tick sometimes it's across sometimes it's a tick sometimes it's sometimes it's follow yeah whatever just do that yeah but don't unfollow no

because sometimes I do that and then I unfollow and then oh so just make sure you haven't unfollowed it's really important for the growth of the show that you are following this show

that's the first thing the second thing is we have a subscription we do a paid subscription where you can listen to all 40ish episodes and all the self Care Club episodes ad free.

Don't say we don't spoil you. I think it's $3.99 a month. Yeah. $3.99 a month. So that's that. That's the second thing. The third thing, which is actually one of the most important, we want to hear from you. Oh, we do.

We love getting the emails. Please get our names right because that'd be really nice. Or just call us ladies. Jill and Susie. Or Jill and Susie or, you know, okay, make up your own names for us. I prefer my own, but make one up if you want. But what we really want is to hear about your rants, your dilemmas, your complaints, your problems, your stories, your issues.

Like, what do you want us to bring to the show what do other people need to hear about on this show because sharing is caring yeah

and we're all having nervous breakdowns we're just not all sharing that's the big thing isn't it so true so well you're not because you're very

self-contained very anything you want to tell us not really no no I think we've really gone deep enough today into my whole underwear drawer and i think we can no one needs any more info about me today okay we will be back next week with a brand new show 40 ish if you want to be in touch hello at

no it's not hello yes it is it is i was about to do hello at the self-care club no it's not it's hello at 40ish.co.uk yeah that's 40ish.co.uk yeah

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if you prefer you can dm us you can email us whatever floats your boat yeah just be in touch see you next week bye