40ish - Dynasty, Divorce and Dodgy Driving

Episode Date: October 9, 2025

Today on 40ish: Nicole is channelling Dynasty in her new jumpsuit and we are absolutely here for it, but a QR code has her on the verge of a technological meltdown. Meanwhile, Lauren is spiralling over Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban’s shock divorce. Why? And more importantly, who gets custody of their extensive collection of hair straighteners? And as if that’s not enough drama, a listener writes in with a dilemma that proves some people still haven’t quite grasped the concept of traffic lights. (Top tip: red means stop.) We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 This episode is sponsored by London Nootropics Get 20% off at LondonNootropics.com with the code 40ISH To book tickets for our live show in October click here: https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/40ish---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-16-oct-2025-tickets?clientside_routing=true Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Hulu original series Murdoch Death and the Family dives into secrets, deception, murder, and the fall of a powerful dynasty. Inspired by shocking actual events and drawing from the hit podcast, this series brings the drama to the screen like never before. Starring Academy Award winner Patricia Arquette and Jason Clark. Watch the Hulu original series Murdoch Death in the Family, streaming October 15th on Disney Plus. Listen, there's some midlife news that's gone on that has very much rocked you. You've gone on and on and on about it. I'm shocked. Why?

I'm shocked to the poor. Why? Because I wasn't expecting it. Listen, everybody. It was a shit show. We can't blame everything on the menopause. Now, I know I've done a 180 here because, all right, let me finish. Yeah.

Mystique. I just had a five-minute rant about a QR goes. There is no mystery here. Hello, everybody. Welcome to a brand new series of 40-ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishkon. This is the podcast where we tackle 40-something life. We're diving into your stories, your dilemmas, your rants. Things that make you angry. Your perimenopausal rage. And indeed our own. Yeah, but Lauren, you don't have any, do you? No, I don't. No, you're not, you don't get PMT anymore. You're not perimenopausal. You're never in a bad mood.

You're never complaining about anything. No, as the ladies from Universal Music told us on a recent self-care club show, I'm a merchant vibes. No, they, oh no. Vives merchant. Firstly, they used the term vibes merchant. One of them said, I'm a vibes merchant. But to give it context, she's a music producer.

She's also a sound bath therapy practitioner. A sound practitioner. She really did have. She was very cool. She was a musician. She was very cool. yeah and a lot younger and also she didn't call you a vibes merchant she called herself and you you wanted that title you wanted it totally pulled it off can I say not many people can no she

it just fell out her mouth didn't it vibes merchant and we were like yeah you actually are no then we were like I want to be that I want that we got like anyway I just love how you just claimed that as if she said it to you she didn't to know it and she said it about herself and i don't think any i'm sorry to tell you i don't think anyone ever will say it to you they might you don't know i do know i do the only person that's going to say it to you is me taking his vibes merchants what kind of vibes don't answer that i'll get back to you by the end of the episode i'm going to have a think about that thank you in the meantime please don't forget that you can subscribe on apple podcast for early access add free listening across both this show and self-care club if you want to hear

the vibes merchant herself and bonus content that you won't get anywhere else and if you've got something to share big or small we want to hear it all so please email us hello at 40ish that's 4.0ish.com.uk please be in touch please be part of the conversation you make the show what it is and we love hearing from you we really do what's going on Lauren well I would say my most 40ish moment was being relegated to the living room on Saturday night. Oh. My 12-year-old son had seven friends over.

Seven. Four, get this. He's 12. They were playing poker. It was a poker night. Poker night. As one of the mothers said, where are the hookers?

I said, no, the hookers are only post-Bimitsba next year. This year, no hookers. So he was like, you have to stay in the living room and watch strictly. Dad has to go to bed at eight. but also can you order all of us dominoes yeah yeah i just thought classic i do you think i'm over the hill like yes is that it for me over the hill okay let's break that all down my my saturday night over the hill my saturday night obviously i can't go out you've gone from vibes merchant to over the hill but all he was like should we go out and i thought well i'd love to go out

but we can't leave seven 12 year old kids in the hat like we just can't we've got to be in Ollie doesn't want to watch strictly god bless him he really tried and he kind of tried to get into it but it was annoying because it's been going for 22 years and he's asking questions and he's asking me questions like who's she who do you choose who's in the dance office like don't make me answer questions about the dance well how does it work why have they all got oh so it's so annoying Adam all always come in on like series three is something i'm watching of like episode 12 yeah what's he was he doing why is he driving that car it's like no i can't explain it i can't do this now he's like

well you always say you want to spend more time with me yeah but not now and i'm like chatted to him like that's yvita she was with pete wicks last time now she's with him in the real life and did her and who's this guy he's from the apprentice you know i had to basically do a mansplenation of strictly yeah yeah being stuck in my own living room on a saturday night i thought this isn't it this isn't my, this is my life now, just order pizza but have to hide. And not, not allowed to eat the pizza. Oh, no, no, no. I wasn't allowed into my own kitchen.

Yeah. That would have been awful. Yeah. Well, I had a load of teenagers at my house for preys, my eldest daughter, because they were all going to a party. And there were like five of them, five 18 year olds in my house. And I got ready, like, really quickly and I just sat down in the kitchen. And because they're that bit older, they're like quite happy to have me around. And I just, I just love it.

I just love the conversation. I love the energy. I just love being around all of those teenage girls. I just think they're so fun and so fresh and so young and energetic. Yeah. Full of life. It's just so love. Yeah.

Yeah. And gossip. And estrogen. And estrogen. I love. All right. Any. I have my osmosis.

Anyway, I did go out on Saturday. I had a girl's night. Nice. It was really nice. I wasn't relegated to the living room. But I wore a new jumpsuit that I've actually bought with you. Yeah. I haven't actually seen it on.

I've only seen a photo of it. Were you told me not to get it? I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure because it could have been a bit... What was that show about the nuclear disaster? Chernobyl. It could have been a bit like, boy. suit chenabel vibes you know it's quite utilitarian you're so dark so dark you've got come up with

some like global tragedy it's quite utilitarian yeah but aren't all boiler suits it's not even khaki it's anyway yeah so i put it on yeah when i first bought it yeah and daisy was like no yeah and normally when she veto something immediately i know it's going to be great oh yeah i saw daisy it needs hair it needs earrings It needs stuff Yeah Leave it with me Yeah

Anyway I wore it For the first time And it went down very well But I did Here's my 40ish thing As I walked downstairs And my sister was there Because I was going out with her

She said I like your new jumpsuit It's very dynasty Oh what a compliment Right Yeah Right Yeah

Right So when I When she said that And then my 18 17 year old She said It's dynasty but there's a new dynasty she goes oh is that with such a such

I said no no that's a different dynasty this is a Crystal Carrington dynasty which I don't have time to explain to you and you're never going to understand it but the beauty of this podcast Lauren is that anyone listening to this understands the dynasty reference obviously

I mean Joan Collins she is my all time icon she would wear this jumpsuit in dynasty yeah she would It's very big on the shoulders. Yes, she would. She'd wear it with some very large gold earrings

and some court shoes, high court shoes, black. Anyway, with a high boot. I felt great. I actually felt, I really rocked that dynasty reference. I can really see that for you. Yeah, I was here for it all day. I was here for it. So now I'm okay.

I mean, golden girls wouldn't have been so happy with. No. No. It's fine. Golden girls, no. You'd have to wear it with like an all the beatings handle kind of thing. I know I've said this many times, but the golden girls were in their 40s. Well, so they say. No, no. Not the mother. Not so they say. No, it is. Dorothy was in her 40s. Blanche was supposed to be 46.

I mean, I'm older than the golden girls. So are you. Should we get on to a dilemma? Yeah. Before we dive into your dilemmas, a very, very quick disclaimer, we're not doctors, we're not healthcare professionals, we're not Alexis Colby Carrington. So if there is an issue you are seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified expert. Hi, Lauren and Nicole. I have an 11-year-old daughter in year 7. Our relationship is okay, but I have to work at connection and I want to keep our communication wide open. She sometimes chats and shares if she's in the mood But it's not often

She had a chatty evening yesterday And told me her friend has a date with a boy in their year And they're going to the park after school She asked me not to tell the mum who I'm friends with I feel the mum ought to know But I'm worried about betraying my daughter's trust What would you do? Thank you Sorry, what's wrong with her going to this

Going to the park with a boy in her year I don't know It doesn't sound like a heroin-filled orgy It just sounds like a trip to the look Park? Yeah. I would just keep my mouth shut. Would you not?

I don't. This isn't throwing up any alarm bells for me. Me neither. That I have to alert the mother. Me neither. And the chances are the mother probably knows where her daughter is. But even if I didn't know where my 11-year-old daughter was, listen, I have a 14-year-old, well, she's nearly 15,

and a 17-year-old. So I know 11-year-old girls. So it's hard not to know where your 11-year-old daughter is. Well, the only thing is she says she asked me not to tell the mum, which does suggest possibly this child doesn't want her mother to know where she is. Now, I don't have daughters, but I don't think I would be happy not knowing where my child was after school. If they were not coming straight home, I would want to know. Agreed.

But I also would not have a problem with her going to the local, park with a boy from her year he is a boy he is also 11 he is not some 20 year old yes they're going to the park it's still daylight yes yes yes i feel that that's all fine i i agree if it was later on in the season yes and it was dark yes that's a little bit more problematic or it was his house or he was a stranger or if he was older yes all of that all of this i think is is totally fine and i agree It's really important at 11 years old to build on that connection. Okay, so just to play devil's advocate, if your friend said, oh, by the way, Lily Rose went to the park yesterday with a boy and I didn't know,

but I know that your daughter knew, but you didn't tell me. So sorry. Sorry. What? If you had a friend who said to you, listen, my daughter went to the park yesterday with a boy, And I know that Lily Rose knows and she told you, but you didn't tell me and I'm a bit upset, what would you say?

Oh, that's a good question. I would say exactly this. Well, I didn't think it was an issue. But I didn't know she was going to the park with a boy and you knew and you should have told me. Then I would say, okay, well, I know for next time. I mean, it depends on the mothers, I guess, and how close they are.

Yeah, and also what their personalities are and how they parent. I guess this woman knows her friend very well. And if she feels that this mother would be upset or anxious or something about it, I don't know if she should tell her or not. But it doesn't feel to me like a big deal. Hold on.

She hasn't said that they're friends. She says she had a chatty evening yesterday and told me her friend has a date with a boy in their year. And they were going to the park of school. She asked me not to tell them, oh, who I'm friends with. Yeah. I mean, she could just turn around the next day and say, oh how was such and such as date

but she's asked her not to listen I always say to my girls if someone is in trouble and you tell me and I think that I need to alert the mum I will alert the mum so just FYI yeah but if it's something that I just think is a little bit innocuous so I don't

I wouldn't bother well when the boys went on holiday together they were like 16 and they went a group of them went away together and I said listen I'm just telling you all before you go if something happens or kicks off and you for whatever reason don't want your parents to know I want you to know you can tell me

and I will help you and I will sort it out and I will fix it but you have to tell me just feel safe to be able to call me with whatever it is I won't be angry I will help you I didn't add the PS then I'll go fucking mad later on but you know I just thought I want them to know that whatever it is

I always say that to my girls if they go to a party and I always say never think if you get in trouble or you get really drunk or something happens and you think oh my god i need to go home but i can't tell mom she'll kill me never i'm here to help you and keep you safe that's it yeah yeah yeah i don't i think she should just on this occasion i feel she can just chill out about it i think all of the elements are there where this kid is do it whatever she's doing is fine it doesn't seem problematic to me it's light they're in the same year they're going to the local park like this is all over

Okay. If they were suddenly going into Camden or going into town together at 11 years old, that's a problem. They're not safe. Yeah. Yeah. I say let it go. I also say let it go. Let it go, lady. It's going to be fine. Let's go to a break and come back with some feedback. Ontario, the wait is over. The gold standard of online casinos has arrived. Golden Nugget online casino is live. Bringing Vegas-style excitement and a world class gaming experience right to your fingertips, whether you're a season player or just

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yeah yeah yeah well someone wrote in about him okay she said First off, did anyone tell that poor wife that her husband is a creep for doing that? And just after she'd had their third baby. Oh my God, would you want to tell the husband? Would you want to tell the wife? No. Just after she just had a baby. Even if she hadn't just had a baby, I still wouldn't want to tell her.

No, that's also good point. I would just invite the woman and her kids to the next holiday. Why do they have to miss out? If he wants to know why he's not invited, I'd direct him to your husband for the answer. Yeah, I don't think that is, I think that's quite good advice. I said that. I said that maybe get the husbands to talk and you said that wasn't a good idea

in not so a polite way. Only because I don't think that a man should have to speak for you for you. I know but no and I obviously hugely agree with that but I think sometimes it lands better when a woman says something

to a woman and a man says something to a man. I know what you mean. I know what you mean. Listen there's some midlife news that's gone on that has very much rocked you. You've gone all and on and on and on about it. Yeah, I'm shocked. Why? I'm shocked to the core.

Why? Because I wasn't expecting it. They didn't tell you in advance. No, they gave me no heads up. We are, of course, talking about Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, who are splitting up. They're divorcing after 20 years of marriage and two children between them. And it just came as a bolt out of the blue. And there's been a lot of chat about this divorce and a lot of rumors swirling around about

why it's happening. and the general consensus seems to be that the marriage fell apart because, and this is in quotes, because of her bottomless need for sexual attention. And women of our generation have commented on that

to say it is a very peculiar turn of phrase freighted with judgment and shot through with shame. And it was credited to an unnamed Nashville source because they live in Nashville who doesn't approve a 58-year-old woman wanting to not be invisible. as they reach midlife.

Hold on. Bottomless need for sexual attention. Yeah. Yeah. As in he doesn't appreciate that she was in baby girl and she was in this other film and she's always getting her kit off and she just wants to be out there and sexual and all the rest of it. And he just wasn't having it anymore. I mean, this is all hearsay as well. So let's assume it's true.

Okay. Let's just assume it's true. Imagine how difficult it is for Nicole Kidman to age. Well, she's not really aging, is she? Well, she is aging, because we all age. Even Demi Moore's aging. Yeah. I mean, they have some very good surgeons to help them.

But it must be very difficult for her to become, go from a sex symbol, a very attractive, very talented, very sought-after actress. She still is a very talented, very sort-after actress, to becoming an older woman. But she's this year, ageing. 48 in a sub-dom sex movie. So she's still killing it in that whole

world. Is she 40 or 58? 58? 58. 58? Yeah. She's 58. Yeah. 58? Yeah. Fifty-eight. Yeah. Crawling on the floor, licking milk out of a glass with a 26-year-old lover.

But why shouldn't she be doing that? I am saying I think it is fine for her to be doing that. Because if a man was doing that, if like let's say Richard Gere, in his later years, he's still playing like leads for very attractive men and with much younger leading women got Robert Redford well he just died I know he's not doing much not only last week only last week oh Robert Redford's so handsome it's all right for men to do it to still play those roles yes there's also a rumor swirling that he Keith was having an affair with the

guitarist from his band and he's having his own midlife crisis but basically the rumor is is that she was completely blindsided by this split and she ended up filing for divorce for how do you even say that word irreconciable irreconcic it doesn't matter differences differences between that word yeah yeah reconcilable no it's not right it's not I can't say it either it doesn't matter it's we can't say that word but you know what we mean I used to be able to say that word I used to be able to say it wow I didn't realize that's also a thing in perimenopause. Words just are no longer. So what,

or it could just be that they both have very irreconcilable. Irreconcilable. I missed the L. Yeah. I think that's it. But they also had very heavy schedules. Like he was on tour for months on end. She's away filming for months on end. It's hard. But they've always lived their life like that. So why now? What's happened now?

What's caused the split? They seem so happy together and so down to earth. Her bottomless need for section attention. But if it is her bottomless need for sexual attention i'm not down with that keith urban like she's a very attractive talented actress let her be maybe he wasn't giving her enough sex i don't think she's the one she's not the one who wanted the divorce he was you're very invested in this story i really am why i don't know what seriously let's thumb picket why i think it was just a surprise

you know nothing about their marriage and Hugh Jackman's divorce that was also a huge surprise what he didn't tell you he didn't and they just seemed so happy who was he even married to a very nice woman for a really long time

it's just all over now why it would be like Pierce Brosnan divorcing what's her name yes exactly because it's so rare for these Hollywood people to have these long-standing marriages like Tom Hanks.

Yeah, these healthy, nice, long marriages. You just so want it for them. And then there's suddenly, oh, okay. I think that's why it makes me, like, lose my faith in love. It's like when Marizio and Kyle broke up. I still can't talk about that. And I still feel like they're going to get back together. I actually told someone at the time, it was probably you, that it has destroyed my faith

in love. Well, I think that's a little strong. It has. Then Dorit and Piquet soon after. I wasn't surprised about Doreen, Piquet. But Kyle and Mauricio, that was true love. That was true love. Yeah.

What went, well, I know what went wrong because I followed the real housewise. But, you know, it... Well, no, she's never said. It made me so sad. She's always pointed to the fact that he had multiple affairs. But that was always happening. That had happened for decades. So why was it the suddenly the straw that broke the camels back?

Are you joking? I'm not. I'd always been going on. Oh, okay. So she should just carry on and... It became... Why suddenly? It probably wasn't sudden.

it wasn't sudden okay she told me she did not she she she'd had a terrible terrible year her best friend in the whole world her childhood best friend died of suicide yes yes so I think that changed her from within and then there was the menopause and the menopause she didn't farewell she did she didn't she had complete upside down midlife crisis full on she stopped drinking she got tattoos she started doing all this stuff hold on hold on I don't think that was the that was the menopause that was all

post her friend passing away we can't blame listen listen everybody it was a shit show we can't blame everything on the menopause now I know I've done a 180 here because all right let me finish yeah for the past year

I have been blaming everything on the menopause but I have learned that you can't you can't do that You've got to still live your life, people. We still have to be in it to win it. We still have to be, you know, hopeful. I don't, listen. Not everything is the menopause. Thank you for your TED Talk.

Let's move on to some milkdowns. Okay. It's from a listener. hi ladies i have a midlife meltdown for you thank you a few weeks ago i had to drive my husband brother or nephew to our nearest big town i have driven this route many many many times before she says in caps or letters however this time i came to a set of pedestrian traffic lights and while i could see there were no pedestrians waiting to cross instead of stopping at the red light i just sailed straight through my husband instead of glossing over this error said to my

brother-in-law and nephew, this is why I don't like her to drive. As though I do this kind of thing regularly. This is the first time I have ever done this. He then said he hoped that the lights didn't have police cameras on them. So not only was I excruciatingly embarrassed at having my brother-in-law and nephew witnessed me run through a red light, I was also extremely annoyed at my husband for drawing attention to it and making me out to be a terrible driver. And I was in a panic thinking I was going to get a letter from the police.

I dropped my passengers off and returned home feeling depressed. Oh, a few hours later, I had to drive back into town to pick them up. Why can't these people get an Uber? She said I had to drop them into the nearest big town. Yeah. Which implies she lives like in a village. Okay, so maybe she had to. Maybe they don't have Uber's.

I approached the same set of traffic lights and guess what? I drove, threw them on red again. No, no. No. It is this kind of thing that makes me think I am completely losing my mind. So not only was I embarrassed and annoyed and expecting two letters from the police. Ah, two letters. But I was also wondering if I've completely lost my marbles.

I reckon they'd put it all in one letter. They would, I think. I mean, honestly, what is happening to my brain? Needless to say, I did not mention this second faux part to my husband. No, don't. I love your podcast. to every episode lots of love to you both anonymous oh that's that is I'm so sorry I'm not laughing I'm like well I'm resonating because we've all done these things but as I just said you can't

blame everything on the menopause this you can this I think you can this you can blame things this is this is very menopause quite brain foggy oh red light what's red mean stop go amber wait can't remember well you just don't see it because you're too busy with your cognitive overload you know yeah yeah mental load I And also she's doing like a million drop or some pickups. You're right. Let them get a Uber. A fucking bus next time.

Yeah. Tell them that. Yeah. Yeah. A fucking bus. That's wrong with people. Why are you laughing? I'm laughing at the letters from the police.

It's the like the kind of thing that your mum would say to you. Do you know what I mean? But there are two letters from the police. Also they might email you. Yeah, they probably will email you. So check your job. Or they would just send you like a speeding ticket or a parking or something like that, like a ticket.

Yeah. Yeah. You don't get a letter. No, I think it is a letter. Saying what? You run a red light. And then what? You've got points on your licence.

Yeah. Well, in this case, she's run two red lights, so that might be six points. In which case, she won't be giving lifts for very long. And then her husband will be happy because she doesn't like her to drive. You don't get banned for six points. I don't know. I've never had a point on my licence. Shut up.

I have never, ever, ever had any points on my licence. It is clean and it has remained clean for over 20. five years. Put that in your pipe and smoke. That is quite a flex. Is it? I think so. I have got so many points. Have you?

Yeah, oh my God. I've never done the speed awareness course. Oh, I've done it. So many. You know, so many. I say this and I'll probably drive home from here and get points. They're actually quite interesting the speed awareness courses. Are they?

Yeah. I think you're the only human who's ever said this word that loud. Well, I've done the view. What did you learn? I learned about speed. How to be aware. You just scrolls on Instagram while you were on those speed of awareness. No, no, you can't.

Why? Because you're not allowed because they... What, do they take your phone? Well, a lot of them are done online now. I have done a couple in person and I've done a couple online. So the ones online, no, they're very strict about where your eyes are and keeping you engaged in the conversation. And the minute they see that your like your screen is off or that you're not looking at the screen, he, yeah. How long are they?

These courses. They were like, if you don't pay attention, you scroll on your phone, you're not going to get the points taken off. Oh my God. Yeah. How long is it? About three hours. I can't imagine you enjoyed that. That's like your idea of hell. No, it wasn't. Really? Actually, it wasn't, really? I mean, it wasn't my idea of fun, but it was fine. I would be like desperately trying to sell sell stuff on Vinted at the same time. You can't. He won't let you. Well, this guy wouldn't let us. This guy sounds strict as. He was. He was. Wow. Amazing. Well, she's winning this week unless you've got a meltdown to compete with it. Hold on.

I don't. Do you? What do you mean you don't? I don't have a meltdown this week. Sorry. You don't have a meltdown. No. I could pick about ten meltdowns for you that you've had this week.

Well, I mean, I'm having one over Nicole Kippen and Keith Urban's divorce. Does that count? No. What about all the traffic that you've been getting up? Please don't go on about it again. Well, I won't because you don't let me. Well, that's because it's so boring. Well, that's why I'm not talking about it.

And then I had to hear my sister do the same thing. That's why I'm not talking about it, because you just tell me it's boring. It is boring. Remember, that I'm not talking about it. There's nothing interesting about any meltdowns. That is the beauty of it. You want to know what my meltdown is this week? Yeah, I do.

Yeah, I do. Because it's hard to show. Yeah, that's why you've got to bring one. Yeah. Okay, I don't like the temporary light and the most cautious. And I won't go into them, but there's a lot around NW3, and N-3 and N-12. And I'm not feeling it.

And it's not making me feel like a vibes merchant. It's making me feel like a fucking angry car merchant. Right. Okay, that's my meltdown. Yeah. Please bring yours. QR codes. Yeah.

I hate them. Why? I just hate them. Firstly, they remind me of COVID. Yes. They're very COVID vibes. Is it because you're trying to vote on Strictly? And now they've got a new QR code on the bottom of the screen.

Claudia Winkleman is barely dealing with it. What? Because she's like, I can't deal with it. It's some QR code. someone young to explain the QR code. Is that what she says? Yeah. I understood what she meant.

Oh, God. I love Claudia Wincommon. We all love Claudia Winkelman. I just love Claudia Wincommon. Yeah. Although how she sees, her fringe is so long. This was another one of all his comments. Why is Claudia's fringe so long?

I said, I don't know. Because when mine gets to that point, I can't see. I go to the hairdresser, I get it trimmed because it drives me mad. He said, it's too long. I'm surprised the BBC let her go on with the fringe that length. and I'm not joking because I've worked... It's not dangerous. It is.

She wears very high heels. She could trip down those steps. She can't even see. It's actually not dangerous. First, it's not dangerous. I think it is. Oh my God. Okay.

Secondly, I... Listen, I've worked at the BBC for many years and they get really weird about certain hairstyles. Like, they're very vocal about what you're doing on the talent with the hair. Yes.

So how she has got that passed off through all the commissioning editors and everything else. I don't know, but it is her look. It's her trademark. It's her signature look. But it's just a little too long.

And I'm sorry, but there's no way she can safely drive with that fringe in her face. It is covering half her eyes. Claudia, I love you, but trim it a little. You know what I mean? Well, it's her look, isn't it? Anyway, what's your meltdown? Her hair is the shiniest hair I've ever seen in my entire life.

And there's no way she's using her as doctors. No, she's just, no, because she... I know. She appetises it. I think she puts beef tassown. yellow on it. I don't think she doesn't. What is it?

What is the shine? She'll spray, I would imagine. Shine spray? Firstly, her hair's very dark. So that's the first thing. That really helps. Yeah. So she would...

Well, that's out of a box. That's not her natural colour, is it? I would imagine she's colouring it at this point. Yes. And she's probably putting on a then at a shine semi on it to get it shine. What's a shine semi? Break this down. It's a semi-permanent without any colour.

Oh. It's just for shine. I want that. All right. You can have it. Can you? Yeah. You won't look like hers because your hair's not as dark as hers. No, I don't want it as dark as that would be a bit draining on my skin tone. But, okay, a shine semi. This is new. It's not new.

Okay, it's new to me. It's a zero. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Okay. And then you just put it on. It's got no colour on it and it just coats the hair with the semi-permanent, so it just gives it the shine. Okay. And you're loving this inside info.

There you go. Thank you. And then a shine spray. I would imagine, yeah. Okay. And a very, very sleek blow dry, obviously. Thank you for breaking the hair. And she's got really good hair.

And maybe. echarotin? Maybe, I don't know. She's got really, really lovely, healthy, luscious, thick hair. Very nice. Very good hair. Yeah. Okay, excellent.

So QR codes. Oh, QR codes. I hate them. When have you been using them? Well, because you know when it says, like, scan the QR code. Yeah. And then I scan it.

And then the website, like, pops up. Yeah. And then it leaves again. Don't you ever find that? You like, you press it and then it goes. It never, you never, ever, ever, ever, ever press it on the first time and it takes you. Like when you're paying a bill at Wagamommer's perfect example.

Oh. And you scan the QR code on the menu. Right. Right. I have a problem with a QR code instead of a menu. This was a-no, I don't like that either. This was a hungover from COVID bullshit. I hated that.

We're not in COVID times now. And also because you're not talking to anyone. You're on your phone. I hate that. Yeah, so do I. Bring back a fucking menu. What's the problem? They have.

Not everywhere. Where? Oh, well, there's a sushi place we go to. to and I'm still waiting for the menu and they're like no just scan that thing on the table I'm like I would actually and then you're sitting there on your phone on your phone and then you've got the kids and you're like look I hate it I do too

the kids no Max is 21 he's 21 are we actually going through this again whoever I'm with I don't want to be showing them my phone I want to everyone to look at them and you choose something and order it yeah I agree yeah don't like that in a restaurant I'm with you otherwise I don't mind a QR

coach I don't like how the website disappears. You go and press it and it disappears and then you've got to scan it again and then the website never pops up and then you have to take the phone away and then you have to put the phone back on it I can't bear it. It really fucks me off. It's a waste of time. I hate QR codes. Okay. Thank you.

That's my meltdown. I can hear. Okay. Who's winning then this week? Well, she ran two red lights and she's probably got six points on her licence so I think she's winning. Yeah, Anonymous, you're winning. You're winning with your story. Stop giving people lifts and also

So when it says red, that means stop. Also, you can give people lifts. Don't listen to Lauren. No, fuck that. They can get the bus. They're going to be mean about her driving. Well, she did run a red light. She's only human.

Aren't we all, Lauren? Aren't we all? Only human with no estrogen. Aren't we all? Thank you for listening to our show on 40-ish. We'll be back on Tuesday. We will. Is this Thursday show?

It is, yeah. It's Thursday today. It's day long. Well, it's not. It's my way. We're recording on a Monday. There's go. Don't spoil the magic.

Break the fourth wall. Oh my God. Break the fourth wall. We've ruined the magic of podcasting now. I'm sorry, listeners. We might even record Tuesdays in a minute. This is Thursday. It's Thursday show and it's going out on Thursday and that's it.

Just, you know, maintain the mystique. It's so little mystery. Mystique I just had a five minute rant about a QR goat there is no mystery here what the actual fuck are you talking about I'm going now

all right bye Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.