40ish - Earlybirds, Booby-ganoush & Bedroom boredom

Episode Date: September 25, 2025

Today on 40ish: Nicole makes a shocking confession: she’s officially joined the early-bird dinner brigade (yes, she’s that person eating dinner at 6pm). Meanwhile, Lauren struts around a party… only to later realise she’s been working the room with food splattered across her boob. Our listeners bring their own gems too: one wonders if it’s borderline obsessive (or just practical) to do a full-on spring clean before family descends, and another shares the mortifying tale of a husband who nodded off halfway through… well, you know. Spoiler: it wasn’t Eastenders. It’s midlife chaos, awkward giggles, and reassurance that you’re never the only one. We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 This episode is sponsored by London Nootropics Get 20% off at LondonNootropics.com with the code 40ISH To book tickets for our live show in October click here: https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/40ish---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-16-oct-2025-tickets?clientside_routing=true Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A blob of Bubba Ginoosh sitting on my right nipple. And do you know what? It wasn't a look. Why am I suddenly so old in the hairdressers? This is my meltdown. Yes, if your house is messy and sluttish, then I think some people think that the guests will think you are also messy and sluttish. What a nonsense. What a fucking nonsense. Hello everybody, welcome to a brand new episode of 40ish. I'm Nicole Goodman.

And I'm Lauren Mishkon. This is the podcast where we tackle the chaos of 40-something life diving into news, stories, dilemmas, rants and problems. And our own mess. Let's not forget that. Our own mundane shit of being middle-aged. Yeah. We were sick of all the expert-led shows, weren't we? We were. They were important. They were informative. They were dry. Not all dry. Dry like overcooked chicken. Dry. No, they weren't all dry. They're not all dry. Some of them are really, really, really, really interesting.

Living me fasty, dry. But we just felt like there was so much juice in midlife. There was so much shit to talk about. I mean, who's going. Where else on a podcast are you going to talk about slippers and dishwashers and washing lines? Where, nowhere, that's where. Here, here, that's where. And please don't forget that you can subscribe on Apple Podcasts. I'm sure they can't wait now.

Furnal access. You can listen across both our shows, this one and Self Care Club, and you'll get bonus content. You won't get anywhere else. Yes, there was an episode that dropped over in our subscription a couple of weeks ago, which you will only get there. So you are welcome. So please come over, come be part of the club. That's on Apple Podcasts.

And if you've got something to share big or small, we would love to hear it. So please email us. at hello at 40ish.com.uk or DM us on Instagram at 40ish dot podcast. Look at you, like a proper broadcaster. Rolling off the turn. Yeah, it should do. We've only done it for five years. That's right.

How are you this week, Nicole Goodman? I'm okay. What's happening? I'm all right. I've decided that I think I like, this is very 40ish, how's this for you? Go on. I think I prefer an early dinner. That is the age I've got to this weekend.

As of this weekend, I like to eat early. There I said it. What's early? What's early? Like six. What? On Saturday night, right? I was in Kings Cross.

I had a workshop in Kings Cross. And so Adam decided to come meet me. It was a gorgeous day. We had a little walk around. I finished at 5.15. And about 10 past six, we were both a bit peckish. And it was like, can we? Can we eat dinner now?

Could we? Should we? Anyway, we did. We ate out in Kings Cross. It was lovely. We were home by like 7.45. Dreamy. It was fucking dreamy.

Then we sat and watched a film also dreamy. Because you've got time. And then my 15 year old, 14, nearly 15, came home at 11.30 at night with five friends. And I made them dinner at midnight. That was extremely kind of view. I mean, I didn't. I put on some like chicken and chips in the air fryer.

That was very kind of you. Well, they were starving. And I just thought, isn't this funny? She's eating dinner at midnight and I'm eating dinner at 6pm. Look what's happened. It's so weird how things happen in the zeit guys. So tonight I'm going out for dinner. And the woman I am going out for dinner with text me last night and she said,

I could just come straight from work. Should we meet at six? And I was like, what? I was like, what? Six. She's like, I know, proper pensioner age. Yes. But I get it now.

I thought about it. And I thought, you know what, actually, I've got to do. Drop Josh off anyway at 5.45 could just go have dinner. I'll be home, mate. Yeah. This is the stuff that dreams are made of. Yeah. In bed by nine, not that you will be. I won't be. But you know what I mean? Like then early night can get up. You know, I get up a six o'clock in the morning. I know you do. I was in the gym back order to seven this morning. I want things to be early and efficient. I don't want to fall asleep on a heavy stomach anymore. It's very funny because this is happening now. So tomorrow is my wedding anniversary 24 years. Wow. That's amazing. we had a dinner booked in East London. We actually had two tables booked and we were like trying to decide where to go. And then this morning we both were like, it's just a long way to like schlecked. Yeah, when you'd live together.

East London on a Tuesday night, but we're going to do like an hour each way. Yeah, what's that what for? Why? I said, do you know what? I don't mean to be funny, but next year's 25 years, like our silver wedding anniversary. We'll go big next year. This, like, can you be, seriously? Like, can you be bothered?

Can you be bothered? God, you're going to be married 25 years next year. I remember my parents' 25th wedding anniversary so, so clearly. I mean, it feels very old. It is. It is. I know. What's the one piece of advice you would give someone starting out in marriage day,

married for 24 years as of tomorrow? I don't believe in this thing about don't go to bed on an argument because actually, really. Because actually, I think sometimes you can't resolve it that night. And actually you need the time, the space, the good night's sleep to then come at it fresh in the morning and both be more reasonable. So I know people often say that to you, especially at your wedding, never go to bed on an argument. But I don't even get that. I think it's okay to go to bed on an argument.

I really do. I do too. Because also you're going to have a much better time resolving it when both of you aren't as angry and in the moment. That's what I mean. A bit of time and space and sleep and a fresh morning, a fresh start, you're both more likely to go, this is where I've got to after 24 years. this is why I've got to, with any like niggles and arguments, and I think this is a good marriage advice, whatever it is, you have to think, is this worth getting divorced over? No. Okay, I'm going to get over it then. Because, yes, I'm serious. I'm serious. I know you're serious. I don't hugely agree with that. What you're saying is don't sweat the small stuff. Yeah. Pick your battles. Yes, of course, pick your battles. But I think there's a lot of, there's a lot of information in the small stuff as well. is but you know you can waste a lot of time and energy you can also let a lot of shit slide that you probably i'm not saying anyone does or should but you can sometimes you can let shit slide with

that mindset or well it's not worth the divorce and then before you know it you're letting bigger things i'm not sure i agree with that that's what's happening anyway we are going for dinner so local local as hell your kitchen it's not quite my kitchen but it's like eight minutes from kitchen and I'm really happy about that. Great. Yeah. Look at us. Look at us being so 40-ish. Living life. Yeah. Right. Living local early life. I'm here for it. We've had feedback. Oh, okay. Okay. Now, as it's been a lot, I saw that there was a lot of slipper feedback. I mean, as always, with the minutiae, with the most mundane things, it seems to spark the most feedback and Slippergate.

Yeah, we had a lot of DMs with the slippers. We did, because I was talking to you about slippers. Where are we with slippers? A Slippers middle-aged. People have responded. One woman said, Slippergate. Yeah. I have two pairs.

Okay. One is a Primark version of the classic Ugg. Yeah, but they're not comfortable. Are they not? I haven't tried them. I have. The other is a primark fluffy sandal slipper. Okay.

I do find slippers strange, but I wouldn't be without. We've got hard floors and carpets. I hate cold feet, but yes, they are an aged item. She says. For context, I'm 33. I've always had slippers. She's 33. And she listens to the show and she's got slippers. My kids have slippers. But they don't bother with them. My husband hates slippers and he wears crooks indoors. But that's a whole other conversation. Keep the tutsies warm, she says. Okay. That's interesting. My husband wears crocs indoors. It's not that interesting. It's just actually not that interesting. I feel like it is. Why? You are actually interested in what her husband wears on his feet. Well, I want to know how she feels about Crocks, I feel like she doesn't like them. I feel like crocs are the most comfortable things ever. And I'm sorry, I'm going to go out on a limb here and I'm going to say something really controversial. Go on.

They are more comfortable than Birkenstocks. Yeah, they are. And they're cheaper. A lot cheaper. Oh, they're half the price. Although they're expensive. They're 50 quid crocs now. It shouldn't be, but they are.

Morning girls, I'm only three minutes in and I already feel the needs to email. Oh my God. She says in capital letters, I love it. my slippers. I have worn them for over a decade as I have such cold feet so every season

is slipper season I love it, love it I have them at my parents' house I take them to my friend's houses to hotels when I stay I literally don't take them off inside sadly they are not gold with a heel

they are Jack Wills we were talking about yeah gold slippers with a heel yep they are Jack Wills Mule type ones they're the only ones I haven't worn out in three months

and then she sent a separate email saying P.S. In a menopausal moment I forgot to sign off the email Oh she was so excited about the slippers So now I have slippers and brain fog, Vicky. Oh, thanks, Vicki.

Thanks for always being in touch. Vicki emails us a lot. She does. She does. Thank you, Vicky. Slippers, says this woman. Nicole, you have girls. You are unaware of the pain of stepping on a random Lego piece left on the floor.

Yeah, but I don't have boys. Yeah, that's what she's saying. Yeah. Slippers are a must in my house. Two dogs, two boys and a girl. Yeah. My preference is barefoot, but Lego and a dog's upset stomach soon made me realize. Oh, no.

Slippers are a must. Lauren, how have you managed without, given you have three boys? I no longer have the above issues, but I continue to wear them in the colder months. My current pair are a cool, in my opinion, grey felt clog, Birkenstock style from M&S in case Lauren was interested. Now, I am interested because I want that exact slipper, but in the biscuit colour. And they're sold out, Nicole, they're sold out. So I know what she's wearing and they're very nice. In other feedback.

Yeah. Graham put me into a dark spin this weekend. We're talking about Graham Norton's new podcast. Here we are, plugging it again. Which is very similar to ours. It's not similar to ours. It is ours. Without Graham Norton.

Ladies, this woman says you have no need to worry. They even do two dilemmas. I know. I know. I've listened to every episode. Have you? Yeah, and now I follow it. Do you?

Yeah, I am one of their listeners. I'm adding to his listener numbers. I don't know how I feel about that. I think we should get Graham on the show. You know what my husband said? What? I thought was absolutely fantastic. He said, you should write in the dilemma to say to them,

hello, we've got a show called 40-ish. It's the same as yours, but you're pulling our listeners away. I'm really sorry to tell you this, but I actually said that to you in last week's show. Those exact words. We should write to Graham with the dilemma. Hi, Graham, you've stolen our podcast. What should we do?

But you've bypassed that. But now it's Adam's idea. It's a great idea. maybe it wasn't Adam maybe it was just you I think it was me well I know it was me because it's on last week's show are you now confusing me with your own husband my chest is a lot less hairy

I'm just saying you know what's amazing what is that this show is called 40ish and I have just had in real time listeners a 40ish moment you have you have don't think that's a great idea though it was my idea so yeah I do that's what I mean yeah it's great idea we should write in we'll do it after the show

we are doing that okay we'll do it we'll put the letter on Instagram And also, Graham, will you come on and answer some of the listeners dilemmas? This woman says, Graham, you can do one. Ladies, you've got no need to worry. The reason why you have so many listeners and you're successful is because you're relatable.

Is Graham? Probably not. I actually think he is relatable. I can't bear it. He is. He was talking about he went to the theatre. I thought, oh, I went to the theatre. Like, yes, we could go to the theatre together, Graham. He's also a man, not sexist, just fact. Well, that is true.

And he has no input into the middle age life of a woman. But he's not doing the middle age life of a woman podcast. No, he's not. He's not. So to be fair, he is staying in his lane. Keep being you, she says. Keep it as it is and don't panic. Well, I have already. It's too late. I understand the annoyance of it, but he's clearly copied you because you guys do it so well. Yes, I'm sure. That is so utterly gorgeous and thank you so much. But I can guarantee that Graham Norton has not copied us. Maybe the producer of the show has, but I don't think Graham himself pays us any attention. I don't think we exist in his universe, even though he features heaven. in mine. Do we know who's producing it? We might even know the producer. God, we might. In which case, we'll get them in here and interrogate them. And then what? Let them go home.

Make sure their parking's paid for and let them go home. The Buddy Moon. Do you remember the Buddy Moon question? Hi, Lauren and Nicole. I know. A lot of feedback. I know. It's great. I love the feedback. We love the feedback. I love your show. Well, we love that you wrote into us. So about the woman whose fiance wants a buddy moon, all I can say is run for your life.

Maybe not your life, but definitely your heart. I am with Nicole. This is a huge red flag. Huge, huge, huge, huge, huge. Huge. On a more serious note, it's classic avoidant behavior. And unless the woman writing in is also an avoidant, which it doesn't sound like she is,

otherwise she wouldn't be put out by the suggestion. Then the relationship will be constant heartache and hard work. I have been there. My ex also suggested that friends join us on our first trip when we were deep in the love phase and almost all our trips thereafter. I knew it was odd. We spoke about it and it was reasoned away, but I didn't listen to my gut and I regret it. Time for a serious conversation.

Good luck to the fellow listener. Thank you. Thank you. That's great feedback and advice. What lovely word of wisdom that is. She should come on and do the dilemmas. Forget crayon. Should we do a dilemma?

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Okay. Is it middle aged or? Or just very sad that I do a whole pre-family visit ultra-clean. My other half who has never cleaned doesn't understand why the cleaner coming once a week, even though we also have a robot hoover called Dave, when we have two Labrador's, is just not enough, especially if we have guests. Of course it's not enough. Is it weird or obsessive to want a clean, tidy house when guests are coming with candles lit and cushions plumped, especially family?

Why do some men just not get it? For context, I'm 33 and male with another male partner. Why do some men just not get it? For context, I'm 33 in male with a male partner. Thank you so much for your ongoing humour and inspiration. I mean, no. It's not middle-aged or sad. It's normal.

It's a bit middle-aged. What to want a clean and tidy house? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like my kids wouldn't give a shit. but yeah but it's not their house do you know what I mean it's their family house when they have their own house you think that it's got a direct like how people view your house has a direct impact on what they think of you yes if your house is messy and sluttish then I think some people think that they will people the guests will think you are also

messy and sluttish yeah it's pathetic because it's like you clean up I remember Adam once saying, and I was going around frantically before, I don't know, whoever was coming over, cleaning, cleaning the toilet and cleaning this and cleaning that. He's like, you know, we do live here. We are allowed to look like we live in. Are we not? We're not allowed to look like we live it. It has to look like a museum. That sort of shit. What is that? I don't know. What is that? I have a friend who, when she has people coming over, she just gets everything and puts it in the cupboard and she calls it the superficial cleaning company. Yeah, I love it.

Like, it's still a mess, but the mess is inside the cupboard. Well, no one can see the mess. No, exactly. I don't think it's sad. I completely understand it. And actually, I really appreciate living in a space and going to a space where there's like nice candles and the ascetic is nice. I don't really mind about plumped cushions.

But, you know, I don't think it's sad or weird or middle-aged. No, but this is... For me, it's normal. This is your whole... Stick. Yeah. This is just how I go through the world. Yeah.

Yeah. Everything is clean and tidy and has a place. and that's the end of it. There is no room for anything else. It just doesn't work any other way. No. My friend was actually saying this to me the other day and she was like,

I remember when your kids were little and it never really looked like there was small children living in your home. Like where was all the plastic? It was there. It was just tidy in a corner. She said, but that's just kind of who you are. She said often when you come to my house,

I always think, does she think I'm like a terrible, messy slut? I'm like, no, I don't because you have small kids And I kind of expect there to be felt-tip pens and dollies and things around because they live there. Yeah. So I don't judge it, but I also don't want to live in it. And I think that's okay. Yeah, it's more than okay. But it's funny actually because when my parents come around, I don't do a whole clean.

I just don't or my sister. But when Adam's parents are coming around, I do a whole clean. Isn't that weird? Interesting. Yeah. Would you do it for family and friends or more for family? No, definitely family. and definitely friends.

But there are some friends that I wouldn't do it for and some friends that I would. See, I genuinely mean this, but I genuinely do it for me. I know you do. I know. I know. Yeah.

I know you do. Because I don't want to live in that space, but that's just how I roll. But to be honest with you, like I might have bits and pieces scattered around that I would tidy up if, say, my in-laws are coming around or certain friends are coming around.

Generally, my house isn't in complete disarray anyway. Never. I've never, ever seen your house messy. Never. Yes, you have. No, I haven't. Like, the worst that happens is Adam leaves his shoes in a very weird place. On the buffet.

Like on the buffet. You can't cope with that. I cannot do it. No. But it's never messy. We have a lot of clutter in the house, but it is all in its place. I guess what he's really saying is, is it weird to feel like people are judging you by the tidiness or messiness of your house? It is utterly ridiculous. It doesn't say anything about who you are as a person about how tired of your house is.

Because I would say to him, well, if you're going around to other people's houses and it's a bit messy, are you judging them? Because I'm sure he's not. Nobody is. Nobody is doing that. I mean, it would have to be horder vibes for me to judge. I could not agree more. It would have to be like, I've had to climb over three bikes and 85 copies of the daily mail to get into your living room. I've got a problem. Although one of our friends, actually, I'm going around there tomorrow, and their house is always, they both listen to the show. We happen to see them yesterday's. That's why I'm thinking of it. Their house is spick and span always.

But maybe we're the friends that they tidy for. Yeah. Maybe they're just tidy all the time. Maybe. I don't know the difference because I've only ever seen it when I say perfect every time I go around there. And then I always think, oh, my house is so messy in comparison to this. Your house is not better. But I'm not judging them.

we judge me what's that about i don't know so ridiculous i don't know but what a nonsense what a fucking nonsense we just should not be judging ourselves and other people on how tidy our spaces are it's a nonsense it doesn't say anything about who we are and what lives in our heart and what we want for ourselves and what we are for others and who we are as a friend or a daughter or a mother or anything will you say that but there's an element of self-respect like if you go into a kitchen and there's a pile of dirty pans everywhere in the sink and it's filthy and the floor's sticky. Then I think there's an element of like, do you really not care about yourself and your environment? Most people don't generally live like that. No, apart from students. I'm also quite

jealous of Dave, Dave, the robot Hooper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'd like a Dave. I also think we need more information about Dave. Yeah, Dave. Now I've got a golden retriever. I feel like I might need a Dave. I can't believe you don't have Dave. I know. I'm shocked sometimes. I mean, I've got Henry. Yeah, but Dave is automatic. Yeah, Henry's not automatic. I feel like with her golden threads, I'm going to need Dave at some point. Golden threads. That's what I call it.

No, it's a thing. It's a golden retriever owner. It's, it's. When people moan about the fur, the floof, golden retriever owners call it golden threads. And I'm like, yes, I'm going with that because it sounds a lot better than dog hair. It also sounds immensely pretentious. It's fine. It's not.

It's a golden retriever owner thing. Let me tell you. Don't get involved. Let me tell you. Don't get involved. Tell me if you've had any meltdowns this week. That's what I'm interested to know. Oh my God.

I've had such a meltdown this week. Why? I got my hair done. Your hair looks great, by the way. And you know I never notice anything. You always notice when I get my hair cut. Do I? Yeah.

I like it short. I said to Adam, because he's cut quite a lot of it. It got really long because he was away. Anyway. And I said to Adam, and I've gone quite a bit lighter. Yeah. As well. So I've had a whole thing done.

Yeah, I'm very happy with it. Anyway, I said to him, if you noticed, you haven't said anything about my hair. Have you noticed my hair? He goes, I did notice your hair. It's straight. It's always straight. What the fuck?

It's always straight. Always. Like, very... Does he mean it's very straight? I don't know. What he meant. I think he just searched for the nearest word. And went with that.

Anyway, my meltdown is this. Yeah. When I was sat in the hairdressers, you have to sit in front of the mirror. Yeah. Right now, I worked in front of a mirror for 30 years. Yeah, you did. So you'd think I'd be used to it.

But for some reason, the lighting in the hairdressers is appalling. Like, I felt like I was about 60. Did it give you like a green tinge? Not it. I had like quadruple the amount of wrinkles that I do on this video now. I realize I'm being lit front on from James's lovely studio lights. But honestly, thank you, Jay. That's even better.

Oh my God, it's so useful when he puts a big light on. I looked horrific. And I'm not normally that horrible about myself or feel that bad about myself. But honestly, I could not wait to get. And I love going to see Theo, my hairdresser, who cuts my hair. And we have a lovely chat. He's a very old friend. So I love catching up with you.

I could not wait to get out this fucking chair. I was about to say, that's why they have the magazines. So you don't have to look at yourself in the mirror. But if you know the hairdresser and you chat to them, you can't be reading the magazine. It's rude. Why am I suddenly so old in the hairdressers? This is my meltdown. No.

What's yours? I went to a party. I was wearing black. Did you have golden threads on it? No, because I used my muji hair lint roller on myself before I left the house. So I didn't have golden threads. Yeah, I was wearing all black. And I was talking to this like woman in TV and she was saying,

Oh, I saw you on the hero. I saw you. I saw you on Apple right at the top. And I was like, yes, it's called the Heroes Carousel. She was like, oh, I didn't know there was lingo. Anyway, we were having this whole chat. And, you know, I was like feeling quite good because this TV woman, like, she knew our podcast. And she saw us on Apple.

And I was like, you know, this is cool. Does she listen to the podcast or does she just see it? She didn't say, and I didn't want to push the agenda. Because it felt a bit like if she was like, no, I've never listened to her. But that would have been a bit embarrassing because there were kind of other people listening. That would have been embarrassing. I get that all the time. Oh, I've never heard of your show.

What's it called? It's like, really? Still doing this? It was like a whole thing at this party. And then my friend was looking at me and looking at me. You know when someone gives you the look and you're like, why are they looking at me? They're trying to tell me something with their eyes. What's she trying to tell me with her eyes?

And she was looking at me and then looking down, looking at my eyes and then looking down. And so I looked down and I realized that I had conducted this entire conversation with this TV woman. with Baba Ginoosh on my nipple. A blob of Baba Ginoosh sitting on my right nipple. And do you know what? It wasn't a look. It wasn't a look. We actually had a few text messages whilst you were at this party, which is very unlike us.

I think I'd come home. That was early because James messaged us. Yes, James messaged us at 11pm on a Saturday night. Yeah, to talk about studio time. Yeah. Why did he do that? That's like 11 via the night. Anyway, you answered.

I did, yeah. You were like, I'm drunk. Yeah. And I don't know. And then you started going on about, I don't know. But you know, it's a bit like when you're, you know, you're feeling quite good and you're having a whole chat and then you realize you've got bubble ganache in your nipple. Yeah. Wasn't great.

I can up that. Can you? I really can. Did you get taramacilata on your ninnie? No, it's, it's awful actually. Where was I? Where have I been this weekend? I don't know.

I don't know where I was. But I was chatting away and chatting away and chatting away and having this whole in-depth conversation when my 14-year-old, who loves to tell me when I've done something wrong, told me that I had food stuck in my invisible line. Oh, that is amazing. So I looked at Adam, he's like, yeah, all across the front.

Oh, God. So I had to go to the toilet, rinse it all out. Yeah. But why didn't whoever you were talking to say to you? You've got food stuck in your eviseline. I wouldn't even say that. I would say just go to the loo and check your teeth. No, you wouldn't.

I would. You wouldn't. Someone you don't know that well. Yeah, especially if I don't know them that well. You really? Yeah, because I wouldn't, because I feel like I don't care, but I wouldn't want them to go into other conversations with other people and carry on doing it all night because it's really embarrassing.

Well, luckily I have my 14-year-old to pull me up on absolutely everything. So there we go. Thank God. So Baba Ginoosh and shit in your Envisolide, it's not good. I actually think the listener meltdown made top both of us this week. It's quite special, Nicole. Come on. For reasons that will quickly become obvious, please keep me a non.

Okay. But here is my meltdown. My partner and I are both in our mid-40s. We work long hours and we have four kids between us. That's a lot. Just in itself. Two nights ago we were in bed and he was getting busy under the duvet. Okay.

Great. Amazing. I'm very happy. Then I realized that the rhythm was off, slowed down and then he had just stopped. I poked my head under and looked down and he had actually. fallen asleep on me, as in face still between my legs. That's not possible. Do you know how insulting it is to have your partner snoring into your thighs? It was the most mortifying experience.

I know that midlife exhaustion is a thing, but this was really taking the piss. No, that is not possible. How is that? How does that even happen? Well, I mean, I know how it happens, but really? Really? Really? Apparently so.

I don't even know how that's even remotely... I am very sorry. I can't imagine that that has filled you with a lot of confidence, I have to say. The fact that he is basically bored whilst he's going down on you. That isn't good. Well, maybe he just kind of rocked himself to sleep, lulled himself to sleep. Maybe he was just like warm, you know, like so tired. He wasn't supposed to be lulling himself to sleep.

He was supposed to be getting more. more aroused, clearly he was... Clearly, he wasn't. But then why fucking bother? Just say I'm tired. Not tonight, let's go to bed. Maybe he didn't realize how tired he was. I always know when I'm too tired, don't you?

Well, maybe that was his way of getting around, like, having to do more. Well, he's created a lot more for himself, a lot more agro. And then, what do you just, like, what do you do then? Do you just leave him under the duvet? Do you wake him up? Do you have a ralp around the fucking face and tell him to get off? Do you just squeeze your thighs together until you suffocate him? Something along those lines I would go with.

We're going to leave him there till morning? I don't think so. I thought they were going to say that there was a child under the covers. Oh my God. I'm quite pleased it went where it did. Okay, who's the winner? I think it's, I think it's, is it her? Yeah, it's got to be her.

Hers is pretty bad. It's pretty bad. You can clean your teeth and I can wipe my boob. Remind was about the hairdressers. Oh, sorry, the hairdresser is not your Invisaline. Well, I had two, as it turns out. Yeah. Hers is the worst.

You're the winner. You are the winner, winner, chicken dinner. Thank you. That is our show on 40-ish. We're going to be back soon. Or Thursday or Tuesday, because I'm not sure when this is going out. Graham would know. Fuck Graham.

No, I love Graham. I don't mean fuck Graham. I don't. I really don't. Graham, we want you to come on. I mean, how cool would it be if he came on? Oh, it would be the stuff of dreams. It really would, wouldn't it?

Yeah. We're going to write to him. Yeah, we can do that at a minute. We'll be back soon. Soon. Bye-bye. Bye.